#if ever there was a time it was appropriate its this
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SOOOOOOOO. Arcane season 2, huh? Now that a couple of days have passed for me to marinate I think I'm ready to share my thoughts on the season. This WILL contain spoilers though so if you haven't seen it, I highly recommend watching for yourself first!
So! Overall, as a standalone season I feel like there are things Arcane excelled at and things that have lost its way a bit. For starters and easily the best part of the show: it's visuals. I've heard some complaints about how much the show cost but like. Brother. When I think of super expensive shows, THIS is what I think it should look like. At no point did I question the budget because it's made abundantly clear every penny is used to best use it could possibly get. And it resulted in what I've been calling a modern greek statue: a marvel, an incredible tapestry of just about every art medium you can think of woven into something so beyond anything I've seen in animation I have a hard time finding the appropriate words to express exactly how much I'm taken by it. This is a clear example of what art IS man and jesus christ. It's mindblowing. I can't praise the show enough for that, like it's literally the best looking thing I've ever seen in media.
Same with the sound design and music, particularly in the battle scenes. Something about the energy behind the sounds, like the clacking of Vi's gloves as shes revving up for a punch, or the reverb of metal clashing, the sound of how blows connect. Even the little things, like the distinct difference between footsteps, or the glitch-like sound that spiders in the backround before shimmer or the arcane is utilized? Like CHEF'S KISS BRO. God almighty it tickles a part in my head.
Just the visuals and sound design is fuckin tasty bro. A solid 1000000000/10
So now Characters. Season 2 managed to take the existing characters and really built off of what was already there. In my opinion the characters, particularly the main players, received additional depth and evolution in a way that made sense in the long run, and the conclusions they reached in their arcs felt like a correct conclusion. However, it's how they got there and how fast they get there being one of my complaints.
For starters: the love triangle between Jinx, Vi, and Caitlyn. I didn't appreciate how, for the most part, it felt like it took a backseat in this season when it was one of the driving forces of season 1. It's not JUST them though: the relationships of every character kinda fell away to the wayside for the sake of getting through as much of the plot as possible, but we're on these three right now so:
-I feel like a PROPER recouncil between Vi and Jinx was sorely needed. There were hints to it, particularly in Act 2, but we were kinda left guessing and having to fill the majority of the gaps ourselves. One of Vi's driving factors as a character is her relationship with Jinx/Powder; her unable to accept that she's changed in her absence. Act 2 opened the door in allowing Vi to learn about Jinx as she is and come to terms that, even if she's changed, she's still her sister and there's a chance to bridge that gap. Vice versa to Jinx, particularly because of Isha's presence; I have to assume by becoming an older sister herself, she begins to get an understanding of Vi she previously lacked and that really could've been a stronger catalyst in her recounciling with her. Had the sisters actually got more on-screen time together and really let the hope between them breath, I feel like the ending would've had a much stronger impact.
-Cait/Vi, as much as I enjoy the pairing, felt a little too disjointed. Act 1 was the strongest showcase of their relationship; a sudden escalation driven by mutual grief and attraction and genuine care only to be torn apart immediately after because of Cait's blind rage. Cinema. Beautiful. But immediately after, we don't really see either character work off that much in my opinion. Vi does have a spiral that was very well shown, though I do wish we saw more of Pit Vi and her descent.
As far as Cait goes I would've preferred seeing her spiraling in her own way; with how the third episode of Act 1 ended, I felt like the show was gearing up to showcase how much she allows her hunt for vengeance cloud her mind and take over her life, to do things her mother would have not approved of. Like bro she was so SURE she wouldn't miss (immediately after missing every shot she took up to that point) that she was willing to potentially kill a child for it. Ain't no way she wasn't constantly frothing at the mouth for some time, wallowing in Vi's apparent "betrayal" and in the grief of her mother's death. I DO like how she is seen questioning her actions but it just feels like a tiny snapshot. Had they continued with showing her questioning what, exactly, the hell she's doing (while continuing to go on with her reign), then seeing not just Vi but also how her actions has widened the rift between Piltover and Zaun, her finally being able to break herself off would've felt more weighty.
"What are you shooting for, young Kiramman?" Grayson once asked. I can't help but feel like that line could have had some very strong carry-through into this season; not only giving a proper callback to Grayson as Cait's mentor(?) but also cement Cait's inner turmoil between blinded by revenge, but growing to dislike what she's turned into to get it.
And the sex scene. Particularly WHERE the sex scene occurred, immediately after Jinx heavily implied offing herself to "break the cycle". Vi isn't stupid. I felt like it was extremely clear what Jinx was alluding to, and it seemed like Vi understood that with how she asked "What are you gonna do?" She sounded terrified and desperate. She has SEEN Jinx be suicidal in this season first hand, was all but directly asked by Jinx to put her out of her misery herself. You're telling me she immediately bones the shit outta Cait right after Jinx scampers off and seems to forget it?? I dunno man. :/ I wouldn't remove the fuckfest, but in my opinion there were better places to put it.
And overall in terms of the characters as a whole, there was just too many gaps and too little time. Vander felt like he was underutilized, particularly his clear fight in trying to get a hold of his humanity; could've really used him to push the running theme of people can change, but they're still the same person at their very core.
Heimerdinger got shafted I feel like. He had such a strong impact in S1, only for his death to be... well. Forgotten.
Mel's storyline was way too fucking short. Love the powers she got but they ultimately felt unearned; I feel like we could've spent way more time on her learning to control it to some extent. Her whole shtick in being cunning and one step ahead of everyone (much like her mother) could've played a stronger part here too, particularly because I don't remember the Black Rose being explained much, so it would've been nice to see Mel put her strengths into play to find out for herself and give her a more active role in her ability to fight back.
Ambessa was anticlimactic and I didn't appreciate how she ultimately perished. I wanted her to die, don't get me wrong, but the war in general felt waaaaay too short and her death too easy. I appreciate they didn't go full evil with her, and made her an embodiment of Singe's quote of "doing horrendous things in the name of love", but it kinda felt like her initial plot of using hextech to fight the Black Rose (I could be wrong here but that is what it felt like she ultimately wanted) kinda got... forgotten?
Victor's progression is the only one that felt mostly natural in it's pacing. But again, with how unstoppable his robot pawns were, I felt like they really robbed the final battle of any significant weight to it; Zaun and Piltover, fighting as one against a common enemy. One of the biggest payoffs in the show... felt underwheming and, again, unearned.
And the new characters didn't really get much chance to do much of anything. Loris felt like an important parallel to Vander given how many times he was shown to look and sorta act like him. I felt like he had a bigger role to fill but just ended up bodied. Maddie, at least, had somethin interesting goin on but I feel like she could've been made more impactful in her betrayal.
Overall, a mid 5/10. It wasn't terrible, but it definitely needed more time to really flesh everything out.
And finally, the plot. I personally really enjoyed the overall plot and it's opposing themes to season 1. Whereas s1 felt like "love is undoing" and veered into tragedy, s2 felt like "love is healing" and veered into hope; the sisters learning to accept one another, Vi and Cait mending the rift between each other, Victor and Jayce finding their way back to one another. Isha giving Jinx purpose and a new perspective on life, Vander returning and, even if briefly, managing to regain his humanity for his daughters, the list goes on. It's such a beautiful contrast to season 1, but that is part of why I strongly feel like Arcane NEEDED one more season.
Season 2 was too focused on getting as much story out as possible that it didn't allow the characters themselves to push it forward, and it was weakened for it. Had there been three seasons, Act 1 and Act 2 could have been the entirety of season 2, and Act 3 could have been the whole of a season 3, where we get to see the total climax of everything that occurred. Given the rumors of there being a strong interest for an animated movie (and I have a theory that it might be to continue the story of Arcane in some way), that might help with some of the contingencies if it's true, but that's only if the movie actually comes to fruition.
As it currently stands, my biggest critique of Season 2 was switching focus on making the plot drive the story, when instead it really should've continued the trend from Season 1 in letting the characters drives the story forward.
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My meds is beginning to kick in and I'm getting drowsy from it so I'll leave it here for now! TLDR: Arcane Season 2 was mostly good. I have my fair bit of complaints and thoughts on how I'd personally structure everything, but a a whole, pretty good! It's one of those shows where I would personally recommend everyone watch from start to finish to at least experience it in its entirety yourself.
Season 2 Rating: 7.5/10
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Aphrodite & Antheia
yep, going down this rabbit whole on my blog
Aphrodite is, I would say, the goddess I know the most about (even though I'm still learning new things). I literally did all my mythology projects on her when younger lmao
Stars it's been so long since I've drawn people-
Anyway time to yap
The way I first learned (and preferred) of Aphrodite's birth was emerging from seafoam. I thought it was the coolest thing ever, and was so so SO happy to see people incorporate the ocean in their designs of her. I felt it only appropriate to do the same (I am worried I made her too ocean based- so it's the reason she's got those wings lol)
however, sticking with her origins, I gave her stretchmarks (that I'll likely edit later to detail better) that look loosely like waves. I thought they were cute. Her hair is based on jellyfish frills, and made the underside yellow to be kinda-not-really like scallop shells. The ends of her lashes have little pearls because they are also a symbol of hers
Her animal is the dove, sometimes swan though I see that more with Eros, so I put these utterly useless wings in the back of her head like a hair ornament. They are folded to be in the shape of a heart.
The other lady is Antheia, one of the Graces or Charites, Aphrodite's attendant and the Goddess of flowers (& gardens & other stuff). Her and Aphrodite have a close relationship, and as a kid when first learning about her I thought she was another lover of Aphrodite. She's not, but I consider her Aphrodite's best friend. Her only symbols are flowers, usually roses & blossoms. And for fun, I have her hair loop back into the snake on her head. She's not associated with snakes, but I thought it'd be fun to give her a Garden Snake (though again I'll have to edit that for its patterns).
#greek mythology#aphrodite#antheia#<- she's not talked about a lot ive noticed#idk how much people talk about amphitrite on here either#but i plan to; or at least create an interpretation about her#next is ares... because i need to draw them together#or not; idk it depends on who im feelin#they are definitely my favorite couple (and im a fast growing ares fan when learning up about him)#also bought a mythology book yesterday so
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The Ever-Growing Garden
/cw hypnosis from flowers and fruits and generally a nice life, dubcon, death as circle of life written for #bunbothypnovember 2024, Day 19: Flowers!
A beautiful flower garden deep within an enchanted wood, tended by an unusually sedentary clan of fairies. They pollinate the trees and bushes, bring in new seeds, convince spirits for favors, and lovingly decorate the whole clearing.
Over time, the garden becomes a minor landmark of the forest. A bubbling brook of fresh, healthy water is diverted through. Adventurers and wanderers stop for a night, leaving fruits and trinkets as rent. Birds and beasts live and die here, their bodies subsumed by earth spirits to feed the flowers.
Throughout it all, the fairies remain. Most of their kind are nomadic, flitting between trees and groves and happily whiling existence away. But those who visit the garden tend to stay and watch it grow. The flowers are sweeter here, the fruits tastier, the company more entertaining.
Years pass. The garden continues to grow, more inward than outward. The variety of plants and fruits intermingling in such a small place is unheard of, as is the friendliness of the fae who tend to them. They don't hide from any intruders, going as far as to greet newcomers and welcome them 'home.'
A rare few of the wandering big folk are convinced to stay here. The garden provides food and shelter, and the caretakers make better company than certain adventurers with a chip on their shoulder could ask for. Life in the grove isn't terribly exciting, but it's… comfortable. Made with love.
The fairies learn to care for their guests as deeply as they care for the flowers. Some folk may have expected a rather chaste existence here, but the little ones are more than happy to prove them wrong. An elven sage once retired here, believing herself past her prime, but her moans filled the forest as loud as any other once the fairies worked their magic. A strong, loyal warrior rested xer head on the grass for but a few hours, and even that was enough for them to 'convince' xer to desert xer master, to live in a pleasant daze and tend to the plants instead.
A lovely assortment of residents across decades and decades of growth. Each gave to the flowers in their own way, but near all were pleasured by the gardeners every day. They were gorged on fruits and nectar so that their own could soak into the fertile soil. The fairies grew very experienced.
Several spent their remaining days here. Their existence was made a pleasant one, and when they passed, they gave all of themselves back to the garden. Their bodies, their souls, their magic, their experiences. All of it fed the flowers.
And with enough time, it evolved into something new.
The fairies already arranged the plants in beautiful patterns, ones that changed by the year as they grew and overlapped. Soon, both fae and flora were compelled to spiral towards the center of the grove, arranging a natural path to one great, growing bulb, and the life coalescing within it. Memories of countless lives flowed into the nascent entity, feeding it, sustaining its growth, informing it of every microscopic action that led to its creation. It gained form as much as it gained ego, and began to unconsciously develop an appropriate identity.
The already loyal fairies grew infatuated. Their excitement grew as spring approached, the redecoration constant as individuals argued amongst themselves of the best display for it to wake up to. The more heated ones nearly came to blows, but always seemed to devolve into nights of passion instead.
When the day finally came for the Bloom, all were in concordance. The small legion of gardeners assembled around the flower, and began to gasp and cheer as its petals spiraled outwards, slowly revealing the feminine form within. They hung in the air, giddy to approach, but waiting for her to wake.
And wake I did.
When my eyes opened, it was to a sea of colors and little faces, all utterly devoted to Me. Praise hung from their lips, desperate to worship Me in My new form. When I graced them with My first smile, some nearly swooned out of the air, giddy that their goddess was proud of them.
For that's what I am. A minor goddess, true, but a deity nonetheless. I am this grove given form. I am the culmination of several hundred years of love and care in service to the beauty of the earth. They've always worshipped Me, and the only thing that's changed is I now have a mind to direct them.
I don't have dreams of expanding My domain. This garden has stood for many years, and I'm content to stand for many more. My gardeners are perfectly happy in their purpose. They've spent centuries cultivating their green thumb, all to be wrapped around Mine. We are happy here. And now, so are you.
…Look at that pretty smile. You blissed out about halfway through that story, didn't you? I don't blame you. The fruits here are nearly as intoxicating as the experiences, and you've certainly indulged aplenty so far.
You'd like to stay here, wouldn't you? Nod your head for Me, dear.
That's right. That's a good little gardener. Just settle into your role here. Let My fairies kiss your skin, let My aromas fill your lungs, let My love guide you down.
Down, down, down, deep into the earth with Me.
You'll be as much a part of Me as they are. And you'll be happy.
Good…
Good…
I'm proud of you. Leaving behind what you once knew takes heart. Your heart will serve you well, here, where all can indulge in your passion.
Let Me guide you down, little gardener. Down between My legs. I've got a beautiful flower for you to tend, right here…
#veevee writes good#hypnosis writing#hypnovember#bunbothypnovember#goddess dom#fairy smut#hypnosis aura#smut worldbuilding
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I wish people (women) would treat a romantic relationship like the massive lifestyle choice it is. You’re not being shallow or selfish for rejecting anyone and everyone who isn’t compatible for any reason. Especially if you’re partnering with a man, it’s better to be alone than it is to have an unfit partner. Emotions can only carry you so far when you’re talking about someone you’re going to live with, care for, and possibly legally and financially tie yourself to for the rest of your life
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^this but unironically
#also this is such a ridiculous comparison#one of them gets more and more angry as the show progresses actively hurting the people around them#and that’s not me being analytical or hashtag deancrit or whatever it’s just. canon#he has a whole fucking arc about how hes becoming more and more angry and its taking him over and turning him into someone awful#like it’s not a well executed arc <3 but it is about that.#it’s not a coincidence that moc happens right after dean does like some of his worst show moments ever#aka being awful to sam all of s8 for daring to try to move on and then getting him possessed and gaslighting him about it#like they don’t tie up moc in a fulfilling way dean just gets worse and worse and never heals but. Whatever#meanwhile. the other (sam) gets villainised by the show for showing entirely appropriate anger Which by the way is never directed violently#at dean in fact we barely even SEE it in him sam just says he FEELS angry all the time and somehow believes this is proof he is innately#evil and the show AGREES with him. and as the show goes on he stops being able to access this anger even in self preservation and has his#sense of personhood and autonomy worn down again and again#. Like that is completely different#‘whenever dean expresses it that’s just him being abusive’#Literally yes. like i worry for you if you think that trying to kill a child because you’re upset your family died is like Good Normal#Behaviour#it’s understandable in the context of deans life! all his behaviour is! but that doesn’t make it good…#spn#fandom wank#oliver talks#supernatural
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tan yuster wookiepedia page you will always be famous. to me.
#its the image on the page being his corpse that does it for me kjhghjkjhhjk#sorry kid the only clear shot of you is after you're dead#and since they retconned your lightsaber color we can't even use the oficial promo pic of you in the canon page#or maybe the promo pic was wrong we dont know. since theres no clear image of you using it#are you one of the blurs with a blue saber? are you one of the blurs with green? no idea#which is appropriate considering that really even if he was one of them. no he wasnt.#all he's ever been- a corpse and a retcon and a corpse tied to a retcon-walking-corpse#his padawan braid is never visable. because he wasnt ever really a padawan either#just a dead kid.#.............. but we can change this. i am gripping dplus by the shoulders. we could have agen and tan time in tales of the prequel filler#animated shorts you know...... all these inclusions of agen in comics but do i see any panels of flashbacks to tan? nope#jedis have visions all the time give me a vision a glimpse cmon#but no. because tan's a dead kid.
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#look who's in time for once!!!#season-appropriate khun!!!#this now posts just past midnight EET. so i promise its monday. hope itll maximise the reach bc this one is relevant only this week :(#man idk is there ever a good time to post. fuck timezones.#moody khun monday#spooky khun monday#kinnporsche#kinnporsche memes#kpts#kp
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randall being a canon fan of the cure means our song HAS to be Just Like Heaven. like. come on. how could I possibly pick anything else
#especially since its one of my fave love songs ever like!!!!!!#AND it came out prior to 1990 so it works even if im trying to use time-appropriate songs#the vibe of the song doesnt fit the vibe of the movie but THAT WONT STOP ME. it can fit our vibe post-experiments 😌#randalltag#caitiechat
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#personal#it feels like im not allowed to complain about my own life on my own blog#or at least that if im allowed to that it seems very firstworld problem very selfish very not appropriate with all thats going on#that people will and do think less of me for expressing my own sadness and frustrations because theres no way it compares#to a lot of peoples very big and very real problems#but im so fucking sick of being poor and small. all ive had to eat today is 2min noodles roughly 10 hours ago#and all ill get tomorrow is a bowl of 2min noodles but ittl be another 15 or so hours until its the most reasonable to eat that#thats the real girlmath and then thats the last of my noodles. that leaves me with one (1) small tin of tuna#which might end up being tonights intermediary food if i really cant wait 15 nore hours for my next noodles but is supposed to be#the one meal of the day after tomorrow. so if i eat it too soon then i have even more time that i just dont fucking eat#im so sick to death of being in this position. like its literally killing me and theres fuck all i can do to make it better#ive tried. and i try and i try and i try but i can never afford anything#my landagent keeps sending me textx asking when theyll see a patment for my $50 water bill#i have to stop myself from texting back every time. youll see payment when im not spending literally 75% of my pay on rent alone#when i can afford to buy food and bills at the same time. whn i dont feel like kms-ing would be better than paying you my rent every frtnite#i crave a burger so bad i cant make myself do any tasks. i cant start or continue any crafts or chores because all im thinking about#is a burger like a blorbo rotating in my mind alongside the background noise that i wont get a burger and will only get noodles but not for#hours. a whole days worth of hours almost#my shitawful roomate is back and i have to play nice but he gives me the same feelings my abusive mother did. im scared to leave my room#in the safeplace house ive spent the last two years building for myself. this feels awful. things were all going so right and now#all of a sudden theyre all going as wrong as possible and im struggling so much. with no one to help. no one cares enough to help#the few people i do have are wrapped up in their own lives. which i get. but it doesnt take away the hurt of dealing with it all alone again#lot of momma trauma coming up with the end of eclipse season and i thought i was handling it. now i just feel fucking awful all the time#like ik healing isnt linear but the roomate triggers so hard things i thought i had processed and was on top of#would a burger fix that? no but itd atleast give me something to emotionally lean on for strength though it. but all ive got is noodles#24 hour apart one meal per day noodles. and tomorrow is my last pack. my only solace lately is that ive been invited to my first ever rave#or my first real rave anyway ive only been to one other 'edm event' that was not really a rave of any scale it was like 25 people#but its a halloween rave so im hoping for spooky fun dancetimes at least theres that. im out of data and spotifyprem so i havent been able#to take my silly little mental health walks bc theres zero chance im doing that without music and so itll be noce to get outside fr the rave#anyway. im doing very poorly i appreciate you few who reached out while i wasnt active but i expect ill continue to do poorly for some time
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The rescent riots in the UK are despicable (but sadly not surprising).
Yes, what happened to those little girls is a tradgey, but the person who was responsible wasn't an asylum seeker, and even if he was, that would NOT excuse the racism displayed these past few weeks.
The people taking part clearly don't care about the safety of children as they're, scaring other people's & indoctrinationating their own into perpetuating racist acts.
Seven years is a lot, though! Then don't fucking join a hate group.
But the non white people are being violent too! Yeah, well, that tends to happen when you attack people. I'm not going to hate on people for standing up for themselves.
They're taking our jobs! Why do you believe that those jobs are YOURS? Are you actually qualified & able to make a good impression on bosses, or do you think just being white should be enough.
They don't work! Well Asylum seekers litrually aren't allowed to until their case gose through but plenty of other POC have jobs (I know you've seen them though it must be hard to make them out through that fog of hatred) & I've met plenty of white people who don't want to (no hate to those who can't because of disability or mental health issues) or loose jobs because they're just overall terrible employees (some of the shit I've seen middle aged white people do at their jobs is crazy).
They're all criminals! Well, that's just not true now is it plus it's been proven multiple times that the biggest factor in crime is poverty, NOT race & again I've encountered plenty of white people who've broken the law yet most didn't seem to get more than a slap on the wrist (if that). Strange, that isn't it?
Well, "those kinds" of men hate women! Ahh, yes, because there's never been white rapists, woman killers, stalkers or harrasers. Its been proven that hating women is a problem in all races & and sadly, the biggest threat to us is usually our own partners or family, not some random aylsum seeker (who if they do hurt women tend to go after the ones from their own community).
They're not from here! Ok, so I don't know if anyone told you, but you can actually be born here without being white and you can't ban people from a country just because of the colour of their skin. Also, neither was half my family, yet we never get told to go back to our own country. Hmm, I wonder if our white skin could possibly have anything to do with that.
They can't speak English! A lot of them are multilingual, actually (& you make fun of their accents) & for the ones who can't well you seem to hate them getting anything (such as English lessons) for free. Also, how many Brits go abroad despite refusing to learn absolutely anything about other countries (there's a reason we're known as disrespectful, violent, sex obsessed, drunks by most of the world).
Also sooner or later we are going to have to accept that a lot of the issues that make immigrants flee their home countries are caused (or at least made worse) by ours & other Western governments.
This country definitely has problems, but we should be taking them up with politicians & their rich mates. Who are the ones actually hording wealth made from the exploitation of the poor, not random people of colour who are just trying to live their lives.
#uk#uk race riots#uk racism#uk riots#riots#racisim#I wanted to post about this straight away but my job has been taking a lot out of me#my phyical & mental health has not been great#rescently (due to unrelated personal stuff) & I wanted to make sure I worded my thoughts as fully & appropriately as possible.#so even though it's later than it should have been (which I apologize for) I thought I should still comment on the situation#Especially as a white person who was born outside the uk but has lived here bassically my whole life#Lastly I wanted to let my followers know where I stand#i know i reblogged something about whats been happening a while back but it felt wrong not to give my actual thoughts on the matter#my heart gose out to any poc struggling right now#i wish i could say this isn't my country but there's always been a racist underbelly to the UK#& unfortunately it seems to be bubbling up more & more these past few years#i think social media is partly to blame (thanks to vice in misinformation & conspiracy theories)#obviously covid plays a part as well (people have lost so much & need somewhere to put their anger)#but the biggest cause (other than personal choise of course as I don't ever wanna erase the accountability of biggits) is our government#cost of living crisis mixed with low wages & little effective financial help#of course jobs are gonna be scarce#add on top of that our failing infurtructer#& no wonder the uk is a mess#but again people need something more tangebible to blame#& the torries (+ all right wing media) have wasted no time in turning migrants into the ultimate scapegoats#& unfortunately people keep falling for it#even my dad has started in on the “woke mob” stuff & its like i still love you & i know you’ve had a hard life but#god is it upsetting to hear#like he was never very PC but he was pretty radical#now he's becoming more & more like his dad (who was apparently a fascist) & i know younger him would hate that
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havin a normal one 👍
#do u ever see ur irl friends hanging out w each other and get jealous bc u weren’t invited even tho u probably wouldn’t have enjoyed#the activity they are doing#god it’s always fucking like this. ive always fucking felt this since i was a kid and I thought it was better now that i had better friends#but apparently not#ive gotten better at initiating but fuck why do i always have to do it#i still need to improve a lot but man why the fuck can’t i just have people who want me around and make an effort to make me feel that way#im trying and its so fucking difficult to break this routine ive set and i know i need to try harder#but fucking god#it really doesn’t help that i have this notion that everyone hates me bc there is something fundamentally wrong w me#and i know im overreacting and my friends do not hate me#and that there isn’t anything so terrible that it would make every person I meet hate me#but sometimes when no one makes the effort towards you it’s hard to see that#it’s also awful bc it seems like the few times they do reach out abt something it’s last minute and i can’t prepare for it appropriately#so i end up rejecting the offer#and it seems like whenever i can’t make it onve i never get asked again#idk i hope im just being dramatic and my chronic loneliness is coloring my perception#anyway. i think i have therapy next week so.
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getting gnc with it out & about at math meetup (or wherever)
#of course you have a zillion idea for faves' Looks. & also simultaneously none; if you're me#here's one: just the combo Different But Overlapping W/More Usual approach#easy to imagine winston Stays comfy to a sufficient degree &/or oft sticks to a Default kind of outfit approach. but anything's possible#like shaking things up gently for taylor too. always appropriate. ideal person from work to run into; as is often true#they can't make you link up that little taylor sketch w/any Sequence here. it can be its own independent taylor reaction lol#w/their slightly raised shoulders / all the more elevated [expressions i particularly like] it creates momentum like#well now i'd go and elevate winston's [expressions i particularly like] even more lol. the Especially Enjoyed trademarks/classics....#and of course we do not have winston running into taylor without Also being 💖😳 about it. what's Ever going on around here#tayston#winston billions#corned beef#winston's little a gnc with it even just in his tees & cargo pants. no normativity out here. genderdivergent & neurononconforming#i Did move to add sparkly gold eyeliner?shadow? take your pick b/c [Autistacity Shoutout]#taylor's outfit coloration based on [picked a medium grey like a tanktop akd had] & then was going to have spun off from a deep purple or#more like the burgundy taylor wears but a much lighter color would've just been more helpful w/all the Other lighter colors; like the lines#namely the lines showing up against it....so; stunningly; a bit more light blue for us all lol#another moment of pencil lineart but this time drawn today vs months ago. some digital editing; all digital coloring#as inaccessibly discussed prior....epic highs & triumphs of spontaneous sorts of [existing outside work's hostile environment] meetups#yes this is hoodie vs hoodie moments (they would never fight) (they may kiss???) (go back several tags & peruse things)
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im not having a certified Misophonia Moment im just feeling a bit lonely about it rn
#theres always this nagging insecurity in me thats like. oh maybe its not real and im just faking it to be a jackass#bc i see so few people ever talk about it or how to cope with it#what actually prompted this was an ad on instagram like advertising these ear things for ppl with misophonia#and it just hit me really quickly like. i think thats the first time ive seen someone try to advertise an aid for it?#or just use the term misophonia#idk its like. validating but its also got me kinda sad#i feel like part of it is like the intrusive thoughts? idk if its appropriate to apply that term here#but like misophonia is legitimately agonizing and puts the worst kinda of thoughts in my brain i feel horrified at later#abd i get really heated actually trying to talk about it#so theres a lot of anger and desperation around the topic and i worry abt getting dismissed at best or demonized at worst#and thats not me putting the blame on us i just wonder like. how much people decide we’re not worth acknowledging over that#echoed voice
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im considering making percy jackson the next class novel in my class but like, do i think the kids will actually enjoy it and that they're definitely the right age for it OR am i just wanting to do it because i want to read it???
#like they're a bunch of 9/10yos so im worried they're still a year or two off it being a better time to read it#maybe i need to reread it bc i haven't read it since i was 12 and decide then if they'd enjoy it?#or maybe i test the waters with deltora quest first bc that feels a lil younger and is also fantasy#but again i want to read deltora quest thus my consideration of it like will they even like it?#like obvs you gotta be a tiny bit selfish with class novels bc like. i do have to read it and be able to essentially perform it to the kids#but stilllllllll. they're a tough crowd my class and i wanna pick something good#i should investigate some other options perhaps#its just hard bc most of my class are fully in their diary of a wimpy kid bad guys weirdo era#and they're SO unwilling already to read outside of their preferred series so they're not very adventurous with the literary world#i guess i'll see if i can find some comedy options that are still chapter books.... that could be an in#damn this is the longest rant ever about something that matters so little. soz guys.#i am accepting class novel recommendations appropriate for grade 4s tho#for context we just did matilda to mixed reviews and they somewhat enjoyed paul jennings#my post tag
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help I’ve started listening to my chemical romance 😭
#just pav things#when someone’s music taste is a natural extension of my own I will assimilate their favourite artist into my being <3#and honestly this was doomed to happen too.#like. the first album I ever remember listening and doing a silly dance to was Bon Jovi’s Cross Road in KINDERGARTEN#and then I grew up with shoji meguro’s work on persona 4 golden (2012)#I’m literally the girl who thinks electric guitar is the bestest instrument ever#Soo yeah 😅 Turns out Pav was the true emo the whole time 😂#this is what happens when you grow up with literally subgenre of rock at your disposal :>#Anyways this has spurred some heated debate in my mind#Namely. Would Inigo actually listen to this in character?#ITS A COMPLICATED TOPIC THAT’S REALLY TESTING MY KNOWLEDGE OF HIS CHARACTERISATION#Just like how Dolphin asks those difficult questions about Archie where it requires really late-stage psychological thoroughness#and intimate understanding of said deepest parts of the psyche#Because here’s the deal right? We all know Inigo is wearing a false edgier persona to prevent any closeness with other people#Key word: false.#But that’s not the whole picture either is it? He has a harness up to his neck because he wallows in his guilt about Archie#It’s a torture device for him. He’s wearing uncomfortable clothing on purpose.#It almost feels like he would listen to mcr to induce the comfortable inertia of emptiness that sustains his depressed existence#It keeps him thinking about negative topics. Keeps him lost in his nightmarish slumber that is a life devoid of true connection to others#So it would help MAINTAIN his emo mask through willing engagement. Thus preventing Inigo from breaking due to sheer psychological duress~#And c’mon who would listen to ‘you know what they do to men like us in prison’ and NOT think of Archie and Inigo#Or specifically. How Inigo PERCIEVES Archie#They’re both deeply entrenched in sin :3 And Inigo thinks he doesn’t suffer enough for what he did— ‘or just not enough pain in my heart fo#your dying wish’ (dying this case being. metaphorical. y’know)#And then that line of ‘I’ll kiss your lips again’#Like kissing goodbye to a sweet death~#So like. Inigo is trying to reinforce the idea that he’s a murderer in his mind 😭#And that’s my thesis on WHY Inigo would listen to mcr and his response if appropriate 😤 He’s trying to brainwash himself ✨✨✨
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tw long rant and swearing!
hey!! if you don't like something i wrote! shut the fuck up and move on!! thanks bye!! no hate is tolerated on this blog :)))
i don't care if you don't like the way i characterized someone in my story!! shut up and get a better hobby than hating on something someone has spent hours creating and pouring love into and accusing them of hating one of their favorite characters because you think that the fic they wrote FOR FUN and NOT FOR YOU is bad characterization/makes the character flawed in a way that you don't like because you have a poor understanding of what makes fanfiction fanfiction (and also humans human tbh lol). sure, they're maybe more flawed than in the actual show, but THATS THE FUCKING POINT OF FANFICTION!!! IS THAT ITS NOT A REAL PART OF THE SHOW!!! AND ITS WRITTEN!!! FOR FUNNNNN!!!!! AND NOT FUCKING FOR YOU AND YOUR FUCK ASS OPINIONS SPECIFICALLY!!!!!!!! and if you think it sucks, i don't care!! you are entitled to your opinion!!!! hate it so so so much but get the fuck over yourself if you think that telling me it's horrible and unrealistic and somehow creating a bad wrap FOR MY FAVORITE CHARACTER IN THIS SHOW is somehow a meaningful usage of your time or gonna get me to delete the fic or stop liking it or stop promoting my own hard work !!!! i'm proud of the things i write and nothing will ever change that. i hope you know what a shitty shitty shitty (and embarrassing) thing it is to do to leave a whole paragraph of hate under someone's hard work just because they interpret a fictional fucking character in a way that you don't like. genuinely genuinely get the fuck over yourself and find a better way to spend your time than caring more about fictional characters than real life people.
#and yeah! honestly i'm upset right now#i do care because its my fic my baby my hard work#and its really hurtful to have someone tell me its stupid unrealistic and somehow a harmful representation of one of my fav characters ever#but also i don't care if people don't like what i write or how i interpret/represent a character!!!#having different opinions and stances on things is so valid and okay#but for you to spell it all out in such a judgmental condescending and hateful way in a reblog of my fic is such a hurtful thing to do#and its very upsetting to see#but it does show very clearly to me that you have no understanding of how to act appropriately or what it takes to write#or how to act maturely and kindly when you come across something of genuinely so little consequence that you don't agree with#that's one of the craziest things about that#is that fanfiction is like meaningless LMAO#and for you to read a fucking fanfiction that you don't like????#and then take the time to explain to the well meaning and hard working author who is just writing for fun and to find friends#why you hate it so much is actually ridiculous#and i am so willing to bet you have zero friends on this website!!#thats kinda mean! but there's so many hateful opinions on your blog that clearly showcase how limited your critical thinking skills are <33#also i'm speaking into the void the person who did this got blocked the second i read what they said LOL#but yeah! i'm not cool with people saying such hateful stuff to me so don't try it again <33#next time i might not be so kind as to keep someone anonymous if this happens again#but at least i'm choosing to be 1000 times more mature than you by not engaging directly and without exposing your sorry ass#. >> mari says shit !
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