#if anyone who can word epic better than me go ahead it's like 5 am rn | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

captainkurosolaire · 3 years ago

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I challenge you to pick five Tumblrs in your social circle and tell them something you admire about their blog!

Only 5? I could probably do 500. However, that's determined by what's considered my social circle. I'm often in my head being incredibly social continuously is really a challenge of mine. I'm always actively marching to something, my flame of passion when I have it, I can do some crazy stuff but it diminishes relatively quickly, so I try to cling. But I'll up your thing and list 25 of my fave people. Ask me this same thing in a Month, I'll keep doing 25, until I do all the people. How about that? (If anyone wants to be taken off mention let me know.)

@eligos-venator

- Has one of the most intelligent and sophisticated minds, I've had the pleasure to know. Literally admire all his aesthetics, work, head-cannons, ideas. It's only a benefit that the dude shares some OC characteristics to my own (Winning features). I really enjoyed the short-thread we did. It was incomplete, mainly because of my faults. I want to actually be better to give him a proper delivery and RP worth his time, but he's incredibly worth the investment of eyes.

@mischiefandmystics

- If there was a Mount Rushmoore of writers who kept me in this endeavor, encouraged me. Sun'ra is one of them. His characterization skills, writing, the delivery and how believable his character is, they're masterful acts.

@mishivymendi

- I wouldn't be nearly tamed or as creatively freed if it wasn't for this gem. She broke my shell, I really didn't at a time ever see myself being anything really beyond a smut writer, but Mishi not only saw potential in me, but brought it out. Her stories and world's she brings to life are so majestically colorful.

@asymphonyofash

- My go-to. He's another pillar individual who saw things in me past just the obvious perception, (Probably second longest XIV RPer I know.) Taught me a lot of the lore, I shot him up and he's sort of become my stapled rock. He's right aside Sun'ra met them about the same, both took me under their wing's as I quietly observed and absorbed.

@lavender-hemlock

- We're always up and front with each other, never feeling like I couldn't say anything around, extremely rare to share that these days. Her gif's are legendary, something on my own terms I want to soar in quality. The writing she does is astounding. Character has so many mysterious pages that are quite addictive to want to explore and learn them. (Encore 20 below-cut)

@under-the-blood-moonlight - Her sweetness and artwork and overall is just a friendly presence to be around. I cherish them so much. One I can jive with more darker undertones with. She's one the most hardworking and ambitiously creative people. I'd mail them infinite hugs if could. Thanks for being you! @roxinova - I owe a lot of credit to her. She's constantly OOC and everything was nudging me too be more inclusive to things and involved heavenly. It's rare for me. I'm really horrible about that my autism sets me back socially, I constantly will be drowned by the next day and be reverted back to better off alone, that's my major crux and weakness. But her thoughtfulness, these things, aren't ever foreign to me, I do pay attention probably better than any would ever give me credit. She's a beacon model to have as a friend. @corpse-dancer - Haven't ran into many words with them, but her character, screenshot game, expressiveness, they're all a marvel to constantly see, alongside her attitude and bringing life character. I do think if I were better, we would click quite splendidly. They've recently reminded and motivated me to pick-up my daily-practice, or try too. Keep being a rockstar. @fair-fae - Few who wouldn't know who she is in this community. She's been in my opinion a huge core. I'm certain she's inspired many who weren't even RPers too try it by seeing her at the Quicksands or elsewhere, a tyme ago. Making no exception, I was even one of those. I used to be in QS every-single day and was often doing my shameless stuff. Though her presence first did show me there's a lot more. I admire her in all fields. Also appreciate her adopting me to the FC and her always thinking of others and giving events, or her aesthetics and portrayal, its the epitome of swan elegance. @thorcat - One of my most treasured friends. Been RPing with them for a longtime. There's never anything complicated between us or a rift of drama, it's just let's go and have fun. We really mesh well, I've welcomed nearly ever character and got the privilege to RP with nearly all them. They always open up envelope and help me, settle on back and just laugh. Whether used to be waking up to their characters humping my afk one or use randomly having a hardcore banter between Ufah and Captain and capturing them as a voidal pet. Memories with them isn't something I'd ever want to lose. I love ya! Never stop enjoying life for anything. @lukawarrioroflight - I get in the gutter find myself lacking motivation or writing, discouraged even... But I never have felt, I could ever do any wrong with this person, they bring the light out of me. So no matter what, how many hospital-beds I yearly visit, it's because of this rare nature, that I come back, even if they're the only one's ever to read my stuff. I would do it for them alone. @scholarlybreadbun - I've only been back recently and they've so much warmth. Their presence is the sun of inviting. The couple and posing all the shipping that stuff makes me even melt. I'm not particularly talented in regards to posing couples, but I took notice of them along time ago and set on quietly improving. Really like them for them, wouldn't ever want them to change that. Ideally look forward to be in their orbit longer so I can bask in them. @seascrapes - Been mutual with them for a while. Their aesthetics and character is all S+ level. I appreciate throwing back tagged prompts with them, one of many people I really think would be enjoyable to collab with any other seafarers. The artwork and pieces of Tal Brook, are breathtaking as ever exceptionally too, not to mention. Love your stuff matey, you're a king. @mai-takeda - Is a myth. Her absolutely sheer friendliness and her attitude, are so positive influencing, I was so thrilled to be welcomed with her and boosted by them early on. I couldn't see myself, wanting to exist where they didn't have happiness like the same she always delivers by just doing so many soft-things. Not to mention her writing... She's a whole world to throw yourself gazes

under. @zhauric - It doesn't go far either without the same breath of Mai, I could say about Zhauric. He's someone worthy to look-up and also recognize they're passionate and inviting, hoisting up literally everything. Could easily find any of their characters comrades with my own, or jiving alongside. Not to mention last XIVWrite, they slaughtered it. So enjoyable to read them all. I like how organized their blog is too, motivated me recently to redux my entire thing. @cadrenebula - They have so many diverse characters and their entire roster is vibrant and is imbued with a massive flux of life. They are able to encapsulate so many character's voices and portray them so effectively too, I really admire that greatly. They've made me think bigger and try myself recently at actually undertaking a huge roster of characters too. I've taken many breaks, but I always am so graciously returned often with them close-by and that's so incredibly sacred. I've seen a lot of people get discouraged or quit, leave, departure, etc. But they always seem to have a bigger house then they had last I took a break and I enjoy peaking in. @silvernsteel - Her artist and gif-work are awe-aspiring, there's little unrecognizable by her photo-sets and edits. They helped me even tip-toe into uncharted with giving me the recipes to try incorporating gifs into my arsenal. Plus so delightfully pleasant to actually talk with and just chill. I want nothing less in life, than the beauty they give, to be returned to them for eternity in all their glorious air. If ever needed anything of me, they've got me. @spotofmummery - We talk about passion or friendliness or overall a person to even remotely try to be, I got to include them. Their web-series and writing, screen-work, everything they do is fantastic. And that's furthered back nearly any I've met showcase or immortalize how just genuine of stellar person they are. I wish them always the energy to create and sparks. @snow-covered-moon - They've never been anything less but absolutely a diamond to know. I enjoy their character, their almost always abundant of energy that's very rub inducing. Their WoL character stories, writing, screen-shots, everyday they open up a new pandora box of joy, there's no mistaken love behind their character and that's infectiously easy to also enjoy something when the author does too. Always healthy to be around, I never feel short of vitality when they're close-by. @letheofthelost - Always cheerful or least encapsulates with me, they're a carnival ride. Just pure epic story-telling and engaging equally as passionate, constantly writing characters, not looking for anything outside of RP or anything really just being their selves, they fade all others. I love their presence, them as a person. Enjoy any character they'll ever come and throw under me, or a change of pace. Always feels easily understandable between one another. @crow-iv - Together we're an unfiltered, unstoppable wake of pure passionate writers and art. But I would say they're far ahead of me, in every regard. Already able to portray multiple characters in a scene and do such in-depth thinking, alongside even sketch or draw right afterwards or a scene. They're so talented, huge reason I set-out on giving them a Crew of cast and actual stories to-tell when I'm actually caught up and if they interested and we both have the room, I really think if further myself, I can be better and supply more for them to draw and I want to see them soar. I want to give them all my improvements and effectiveness. @trishelle - They've such a reinforcing personality and aura around them that easily bolsters anything that dares thinking they're about to be depleted so energizing. Aesthetics, characters, all them are so lively that further compliment their own mun's great welcoming presence. Worth hundreds of smiles and stars, keep high. Wish I had more time to dedicate to learning you! But I do notice and appreciate you. @fracturedfantasia - One of my people, I like to retreat and just talk my full

head-cannons with or learn, share insightful and inquisitive thoughts about philosophies and multi-culture things. Or plotting and in-general, they're a well of information and brimming ideas, they are every making of what makes a quality friend. When you can generally be open-about-all that's a real one right there. Their characters and tarot readings, I always would implore if they're offering. Thanks for giving me any-time. You're truly a treasure. @violet-warder - Never have even came to words with them yet unfortunately but didn't mean as a mutual, I haven't admired all their screenies, writing, or the aesthetics they bring of their character. Glamours is real end-game, I like all what you've done and put together. I care strictly about what represent and give, I don't want to see them ever think anyone want's them gone, they are abundantly so talented and possess things only they can deliver. I think recently came back too, and I'm glad to share, hopefully, overtime I can build you better up. Or eventually even talk, but I'm certain you are a busy-body person too, so we're relatable. @layla-grey - I have a lot of underline issues that set me back as a flawed person, but I've never not been anything but someone who's open, it's why I always do include my f-list in anything or etc. I'm not here to present this facade, and really don't care to be an image crafted by another. No one as of recently or now, am I close with as an RP partner or friend with then this stunning masterpiece. I never let-up on story-telling or anything so I can eventually use my Crew or other Characters, to give them anytime a master entertaining day, they push me to not be short-changed. IC and OOC I would devote my full attention too cause they've never shed from me. Didn't ever matter how much silence or anything, they're always around. And don't expect anything out of me or pressure. Just accept me and I equally share that sentiment, I want you to have everything in this world has to offer. ----- This is just a fraction of people, I've paid attention, noticed or know. I've been around in this Community for many years. There's a lot of things I could say about it, more probably then anyone else. But what matters to me, is recognizing the people who are here, that work hard, build others up, support, constantly are a beam. I don't need to interact with everyone, to know when someone is generally out for good. Or they're out for bad I've learned inquisitiveness longtime ago, I had to survive and remain afloat. I just go out and be me, and along the way, I get to find people like these, who help bring out the best me. I am nothing without these people, creators, writers, artist. I'm a terrible friend, horrible person, I don't have the energy to interact NEARLY with as much as I'd like with you all, If I could clone myself, or if things were different, I would drop it all to be in your orbits more if could. But, do know I appreciate you. And even if you ever do depart from this whole community or anything, know that anything you share, or give, that stuff does matter, somewhere, someone was aspired, if nothing else, by me. ONLY you can give the worlds you see and I am thankful. Do love yourself.

#I acknowledge you #Love you #Keep doing you #Asks answered #I'm the one guy who's never not going to be filtered or unspoken #To many people have left or been broken #Don't you ever think about it.#There's so many many more #But I'll recharge for next time

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wannabemobwife · 4 years ago

Text

Guns, Glamour, and Goodfellas - Chapter 3

Chapter 3: A Little Party Never Killed Nobody

Dad!Mob!Tom Holland x Mom!Mob!Reader

-Pairings: Tom Holland x reader, Parker Holland x Charlotte Owens

-Warnings: Language, Blood, Death, Fighting

-Words: 3.6K

Author note: I really love this chapter. I love all the comments and would appreciate nice constructive criticism (please don't butcher my work lol) if you want. Feel free to leave in the comments or message me directly your feelings while reading the chapter :))

Chapter 3: A Little Party Never Killed Nobody

Word: 3.6K

“Haz are you okay mate?” Tom asked, seeing Haz freak out, they were about to land at Heathrow, on their way back from Dublin.

“No, I just heard from my neighbor that Henry never came home last night. With everything that happened yesterday, I’m just worried. I hope he is not lying in a ditch somewhere.” Harrison explained.

“He probably crashed at ours, everything will be ok.” You said as you comforted Haz. Oh boy, were you wrong.

Back at home, Parker awoke to his impending death once you and Tom, his parents’, find out what happened to their beautiful mansion. One party did all this damage. The curtains were torn down, there was red party cups everywhere and all the liquor bottles were displayed on the table. One amazingly epic party did all that.

“Bloody hell! That’s it I’m dead. I’m dead. I will never be allowed to leave this house ever again.” Parker said to himself. Picking up his phone he noticed 4 missed calls from you. Each one had a message and if there was one thing he knew about you is that you only left more harsh and frantic voice messages the more you called.

He only played the most recent one, you sounded really peeved “PARKER JACKSON HOLLAND! Please call me, I’m worried about you. I can’t get in touch with the staff either. I will be home in 20 mins, you better have a good fucking explanation for everything.” Parker’s eyes nearly flew out of his head when he saw that was sent 15 mins ago. Any moment now he would hear the Rolls pulling into the driveway.

The poor kid could only move so fast, he quickly gathered the liquor bottles and threw them into a plastic trash bag along with all the red solo cups that seem to be multiplying. All the meanwhile corralling all the squatters, from last night, who crashed there. He found some people by the pool and others passed out in the dining room. Running like a madman through the house, he caught a glimpse of what would be the reason for his demise. The door to Tom’s office was open. He swore to god he locked it, someone must’ve broken in. They could’ve taken anything, all the information about the mob was stored in that one tastefully decorated room. Parker quickly shut the door and hoped nothing would happen, he couldn’t live with himself if this one stupid party cost his family their livelihood.

“Rosie? Henry? Where are you guys? Mum and dad will be home any minute, I need your help.” Parker called out throughout the house. He didn’t expect Rosie to show up because of their fight last night, but where the fuck was Henry.

You and Tom pulled up along with Harrison in the black Rolls Royce, coming to a screeching halt. You all walked along the cobble stone path to the two large, intimidating front doors. You all simultaneously freaked out when you saw the door was ajar. Tom and Haz pulled out their guns and made it a priority to keep you safe by shoving you behind them. You all had no idea what you could be walking into.

Tom whispered to Haz to split up, Haz took the East Wing while Tom checked the main rooms. Rounding the corner he could her footsteps.

“Darling, stay behind me. I don’t want you getting hurt,” Tom whispered and you nodded in response.

“On the count of 3. 1, 2, 3,” Tom screamed as he jumped out, holding his gun straight ahead. He found his son disheveled, carrying grocery bags filled with empty beer cans and liquor bottles.

“DON’T SHOOT! DON’T SHOOT! Holy fuck! Dad is that you?” Parker screamed, dropping the bags to the ground, glass shattering and raising his hand up in innocence. Scared for his life her quickly caught his breath when he realized who it was.

“Parker, what the hell? Why the fuck was the door opened…. wait? Did you have a party!?!” Tom thundered as he realized what his son did. His voice gradually growing more furious. Parker just stood there with a shameful look on his face.

“Mum, dad. How was Dublin?” Parker sneaked to quickly change the subject.

“Don’t try to get out this, explain now!” You scolded, just as furious as Tom

“I’m sorry. I don’t know why I did it, I just needed to blow off steam.” “What the fuck do you think a sorry is going to do? I run a fucking mob, Parker. Are you a fucking idiot? Parker, for fucks sake, anyone could have stolen some information from my office or gotten into the gun room. What the fuck were you thinking?”

“I’m not that much of a div, I locked your office and I don’t know,” Parker explained.

“You’re not as dumb as I thought. Hope you were smart enough to lock the liquor cellar too,” Tom concluded.

“Yeah…about that,” Parker mumbled as Tom ran off to his liquor room. A loud clash and curse sounded throughout the house when he laid his eyes on his ransacked priceless collection.

“Mum, say something?” Parker pleaded with you as you just stood there in silence.

“2 months. You’re grounded for 2 months. No dates or parties, just school and home. I don’t think you understand how lucky you are that nothing serious happened here.” You said, your voice drenched with disappointment. “I know, I’m sorry. I’ve been thinking about what dad and you asked me and —” Parker whispered as he was soon cut off by Haz walking in.

“Did you find Henry?” Haz interrupted.

“No, I’m going to check upstairs. Will you check on Tom?” Harrison nodded as you ascended the staircase. Making your way through the halls, coming upon Rosie’s room.

“Roo, honey you awake?” You said walking into Rosie’s room

“AHHHH! Oh my fucking god! Rosie!” You screamed at the sight in front of you. Your sweet, slightly bad tempered daughter asleep with a boy in her bed.

“Darling? You alright?” Tom yelled from downstairs after hearing your scream.

“Mum, what are you doing here?” Rosie exclaimed frantically.

“Hi, Y/N.” Henry whispered, praying he wasn’t going to be berated. You were a mother figure to him after his own mother left his father and never looked back. “This is my house and hi Henry. What the fuck is Henry doing here in you bed? What the fuck are you doing here?” You questioned bouncing between the two of them to get some answers.

“I can explain. But, firstly are you gonna tell dad?” Rosie inquired.

“The fact that he is already fuming downstairs, no. Not right now. And please explain, you have 5 seconds, but first you need to get Henry out of here.”

“Thank you mom, I just don’t —.“

“Ehh, eh, eh! Shut it, I’ll deal with you later,” you barked.

“Henry, I suggest you take the window and your dad is looking for you,” you said.

“Shit! Thanks Y/N… I mean Mrs. Holland” Henry said as you shot him a glare.

The moment Henry was in the clear, Tom barged in with his gun in hand. Someone needs to tell this man to put it down. All morning he has been traumatically scarring his kids for life, first with Parker and now Rosie.

“What? Is everyone all right? I heard a scream.” Tom exclaimed out of breath.

“Umm, yeah. I just saw a spider.” You stuttered.

“Oh love, you can kill a man in cold blood but can’t handle an itty bitty spider,” Tom joked as he pressed a chaste kiss to your forehead.

“You're afraid of them too, Thomas.” You quipped with a side eye. If looks could kill, yours definitely would.

“And for you missy, you’re grounded along with your brother.” Tom said, looking down on Rosie. “Me? What did I do?” Rosie asked in a high pitched voice. “You attended this party correct? And since this is also your house, you threw it by association. Am I right?” Tom inquired.

“I guess so,” Rosie huffed.

The twin’s exile was worse than they prepared for. Not only were they responsible for cleaning up the entire mess but they were given a list of chores to complete. This was no ordinary list. It was devised by you and Tom along with inputs from the maids and capos.

On it read:

Wash the Rolls

Clean the guns

Reorganize the pantry

Mow the lawn

Re-order all stolen liquor and stock the liquor room

Drain the pool, clean the pool, fill the pool back up again…

The list was never-ending. Each task more pointless than the next. It went on forever. The household staff was happy for their load was to be lessen for a couple weeks, unlike the kids. Harrison even forced Henry to partake in the chores.

The kids were only a couple days into their quarantine and were already going stir crazy. Parker was having withdrawals from Charlotte, missing her even more. The boy was whipped for her, really smitten. They would talk the night away. Some nights never getting any shut eye as their conversations would prolong hours.

Parker couldn’t believe this was where he was now. One night of unadulterated juvenile fun equated to 2 months of misery. Today was Charlotte’s birthday and he was supposed to take her to the London Eye on a surprise birthday trip, but all his plans were ruined the moment his parents came home and grounded his sorry ass.

“I can’t believe your parents grounded you. Assholes.” Charlotte said over the phone, fuming he couldn’t celebrate with her.

“I can’t go babe. I really wish I could but I’m grounded for life remember.” Parker said, the cold shoulder Tom and you had been giving him was killing him.

“Parker its my birthday. You have to come,” Charlotte pleaded

“There’s no chance in hell I’m allowed to leave.”

“Geez you just threw a party, it’s not like you killed someone,” Charlotte added. He might as well have. If he killed someone he wouldn’t be burdened with this punishment, probably praised instead, carrying on the family tradition.

“Just sneak out. Come on, we are all going to this nightclub downtown. It’s gonna be awesome. And I’m such a good girlfriend, I can’t let you miss it.” Charlotte pleaded.

“Alright, Char you wore me down.”

“I knew it. Pick you up at 11 tonight.”

“Park around the block, I’m going to have to climb out my window. Remember my house is like a fortress.” Parker said. He wasn’t lying.

Meanwhile, Tom was in and out of meetings in his office all day. He received one odd phone call in particular from his dad, Dominic Holland. “Hi dad, how are you” Tom said as he picked up the phone.

“I’m fine son, so how did the talk with Parker go. I’m excited to teach him all my mobster tricks,” Dom exclaimed. “Actually dad, he reacted like I did.”

“Oh well, he will come around just like you did” Dom said encouragingly.

“I don’t know if he will. Anyway it wouldn’t be so bad if he had his own path in life.” Tom murmured trying to stick up for his son’s decision.

“Tom, you know what will happen to this family if that happens,” Dom yelled.

“I know dad. I just don’t want him to feel trapped, like you did to me,” Tom exclaimed growing more annoyed by the minute.

“What I did to you got you to where you are today. Your life is thanks to me son and don’t you forget it,” Dom said with a stern, menacing voice.

“Understood sir,” Tom quipped. “Maybe Parker needs a push, in the right direction.” “Dad, I swear to god, don’t fucking do anything. Y/N and I are handling this” Tom yelled. “We’ll see how that turns out” Dom ended the phone call. Leaving Tom frustrated that his father sees him as his own puppet.

The night soon fell and Parker’s plan had been put into motion. He bribed a few of the Tom’s men with his allowance to let him sneak past. He jumped out the window, carefully walked on the roof as to not slip and make any noise. Finally on the ground, he scaled the iron fence to be met with Charlotte’s ice blue eyes. She was dressed in a pink party dress that hugged her figure perfectly.

“Wow princess, you look *chef’s kiss. Happy birthday baby,” Parker said while making his way back to the ground.

“Thanks doll. Now come on, before someone catches us,” she yelled whilst hopping into her silver Mercedes.

Arriving at the nightclub, everything was in full swing for 11 o’clock at night. Parker, Charlotte and her other friends were treated like royalty the moment Parker let his name slip.

“Right this way Mr. Holland and I will have someone bring you a bottle of champagne, on the house of course,” the hostess said as she sat them at their table.

“Oooo fancy, you should drop your name more often,” Charlotte whispered in Parker’s ear.

“Oh it was nothing, love.” Parker said while pouring himself and Charlotte a glass of bubbly. “Seriously Parker, how’d you do this? If I didn’t know any better I’d say your dad owned the club or something,” Charlotte said dumbfounded, causing Parker to choke on his champagne at her remark.

It was amazing what power could do. Having enough power to make your enemies disappear was unimaginable. Parker knew what turning down his father meant. He would have the name and the look of a Holland, but he wouldn’t be one anymore.

How could he give all that up. He enjoyed his cushy lifestyle. Sure it was day after day of worrying about your image but, he felt as though he belonged in that world. How could he go on being a kid for two more years knowing there was a metaphorical expiration date on his life.

He desperately wanted to want to be like them, his family. You, his mother, are the strongest person he knows. Having you in his life keeps him grounded, literally at the moment. Also his dad, Tom is a very loving and amazing father. He was there at all the football games (English football) cheering him on and at the spelling bees, also when he felt his first heartbreak, Tom was there.

Family has been the one constant in his life. Now it was being eclipsed by power, a power that could ruin lives or affect change. Turning his back on his family means they would never get see his future.

No one would be there at his graduation from college or when he first child was born, only Charlotte would be there. The girl he hoped to marry and have his kids. He couldn’t give up his future with her, no way. Parker eyes glanced at her, mesmerized by her beauty. He thought to himself, “This was it. This, she is all I’ll ever need, my princess.”

Most of Parker’s pet names for Charlotte were derived from Tom. He had heard his dad refer to his mother as: princess, queen, doll, darling, love. The list goes on. As long as Parker had his princess he knew he would be ok.

They danced the night away. Song after song. Feeling like the only two people in the room. Getting more drunk as the night progressed and other guests started to fizzle out. Leaving Charlotte and Parker alone on the dance floor.

“Char, I think it’s about time we head home. We are the only people left,”

Parker chuckled.

“Just two more songs please,” she muttered with her head nuzzled by his neck.

“It’s two hours til sunrise!” Parker exclaimed.

“Just a little while longer, I don’t want this moment to end.” “Me neither baby, I want to stay in your arms forever” Parker said. In a moment of love, coupled with champagne and a few tequila shots, Parker whispered, “We should get married.”

“What? Are you serious? Do you mean now or in like 5 years?” Charlotte asked as her voice slowly diminished

“Umm… yes and now. I love you,” Parker murmured. “YES! I will marry you!” Charlotte exclaimed pulling her boyfriend into a deep, passionate kiss. Parker’s dream was coming true and all he had to do was leave his family.

Just then a group of tall, stocky men, all dressed in black, funneled through the door of the club. They didn’t bother with sitting down, they just stood there blocking the only exit.

One of the men spoke up, “Parker Holland? I have a message for you.”

“Can’t it wait til morning, just tell him I’m sorry and he can ground me even longer,” Parker replied thinking the message was from Tom.

“It’s not that kind of message,” all the noise drifted away as the other man drew his gun. Both Charlotte and Parker grew tense at the sight of his pistol.

“Charlotte, get behind me,” Parker whispered, scared for both their lives.

“Boy, it’s not from your daddy,” said the leader of the men. “Do you know who my father is? He will have all of your heads if you so as much lay a finger on me,” Parker responded

“So the girl is up for grabs?” “Charlotte, RUN!” Parker Screamed

“Eh, not so fast. I’m going to enjoy this one.” The guy said, seizing Charlotte in his grip and motioning for this associates to grab Parker. Two arms holding Parker back from protecting Charlotte.

“LET GO OF ME! CHARLOTTE!”

“Why you hanging out this rift raft? I’m sorry but he needs to atone for his mistakes.” “Parker..” Charlotte whimpered.

“Such a pretty girl and such a waste” the man snickered as he pressed the gun into her abdomen. Tears slipped down her face as she felt the cool metal against her.

BANG

It was the shot heard round the room. Everything stood quiet as Charlotte collapsed to the floor. The leader of the men shouted he need a drink. “NOOOOO! ” Parker screamed as he was let go and raced to Charlotte’s side

“Hey, hey, baby look at me. Look at me,” Parker said as tears flooded down his face.

“I’m sorry, we should’ve left.” Charlotte whispered with labored breaths while blood poured out of her wound. “Baby, you have nothing to be sorry for.” Parker cried while rubbing his thumb on her cheek. Blood pooled around them and he could only be focused on one thing, the love of his life dying in his arms. “Parker, it hurts so much,” Charlotte cried. The pain was mind-numbing. Threatening the life inside her.

“I know, love. Just keep your eyes on me love, keep’em open”

“I’m so tired Parker… I want my last words to you to be I love you. I love you ok? So much.” she whispered, then broke into a coughing fit. Blood filling her mouth and running down her chin, scaring Parker.

“Don’t, don’t fucking start that now you, hear me. You’re gonna be fine, we’re gonna get married and have kids and grow old together,” Parker exclaimed as her eyes threatened to shut.

“You said yes, Char. You have to be okay. You said yes. I asked you to marry me and you said yes.” Parker cried as tears refused to stop coming. Charlotte’s eyes growing more and more to a close.

“Please, don’t leave me baby. Charlotte don’t leave me. Don’t fucking close your eyes. You hear me. Don’t.” And with that, the hand Parker held so close to his heart was limp. Her eyes had closed and heart stopped beating. She was gone.

“No! No, no no, hey hey hey, come on, come on baby stay with me. Stay with me please.”

“Wake up, darling. Please. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Just come back to me baby. , I need you,” Parker whimpered. He burst into a fit of sobs and hugged her close to his body, not wanting to let her go because then it all became real.

The woman who changed his life, no longer walked this earth. The love of his life was gone. All the bubbling life inside of her, vanished like it had never existed in the first place. Parker’s demeanor flipped like a switch. His sadness became infused with anger, he was out for blood.

“You bastards! Why did you do that? She had nothing to do with this?” Parker thundered as blood coated his knuckles. “I’m sorry kid, but it had to be done” The leader spoke.

In a fit of rage, Parker grabbed the empty champagne bottle and smashed it over one of the guy’s heads, knocking the muscular guy unconscious.

“Big mistake, kid. Thought you were smarter than that.” The leader said as he stood in front of Parker and delivered him a swift punch to the jaw, flooring Parker.

“She really wasn’t enough of a message? Want her death to be in vain?” He spat as he kicked Parker in the stomach.

Several kicks followed, two more to the stomach, one to the groin and one final blow to the head, demobilizing Parker. He laid on the ground coughing up blood, trying to gather enough strength to get home.

He looked once more over to the girl he had loved, lifeless with a whole in stomach, knowing if it weren’t for him she would still be alive. Charlotte was the only thing on his mind as he succumbed to all the pain and everything faded to darkness.

Guns, Glamour, and Goodfellas Series Masterlist

Taglist: @thenoddingbunny-blog @adriannauni @dummiesshort

#tom holland #tom holland imagines #tom holland series #tom holland fanfic #tom holland mob au #tom holland au #tom holland x reader #tom holland x y/n #Dad!Mob!Tom Holland #Mob!Tom #mobster #Mob!tom holland x reader #mob!tom x reader

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princip1914 · 4 years ago

Text

A few thoughts on writing longfic

I’ve had this post brewing for a while and I figured since today is a Friday I might as well let it out into the wild.

First off, this is not writing advice. I don’t feel qualified to give writing advice. This is a few observations I’ve made over the course of trying to write something that feels, well, long. Fandom is full of excellent authors writing long chaptered fic, but I don’t see a lot of people talking about how they go about producing such fics. I remember feeling like long fic was really out of reach for me when I started writing again in the summer of 2019 after not writing for years and years and I wanted to talk a bit about how that changed for me. Of course, this post comes with all the caveats that there is no need to ever write long fic if you’re not feeling it. Some of my favorite authors write mostly or only oneshots! But, if you are interested, here’s my lengthy, self indulgent, and entirely personal take on ~the longfic process~ below the cut.

First, to get this out of the way: long fic is anything that feels long or complicated to you, the author. “I’m working on my long fic” can mean that you’re branching out from microfiction to write something that’s 2k long, or it can mean you’ve got a multi-part 800k epic. There’s no objective measure of if something is “long fic,” Your own personal definitions can also change as you grow in confidence or change your focus as a writer (a little over a year ago when I finished Doubt Thou the Stars are Fire topping out at 31k, that felt very very long to me. Now it feels….still long, but not very very long.)

Here are a few specific things that helped me write something long. I don’t know if they will be interesting for anyone else, but at the very least writing these down has been a fun way for me to reflect on my own process.

Practice exercises. Ok, this is going to sound exceedingly obvious, but writing one shots prepares you for writing chaptered fic. Here’s what I mean more specifically: if you know you want to write (as a totally hypothetical example) a chaptered fic set in America in the summer that relies heavily on a nature metaphors, is written out of chronological order, and features a melancholy tone--it helps to write a few one shots like that before you embark on the Big Fic. Just like artists tend to do sketches before starting a big piece, it’s very helpful to write something small that gives you a feel for the ~vibe~ of what you’re trying to do in the long fic. It’s helpful for all the usual reasons--you get to know a specific version of the characters which helps plan out a character driven plot for the long fic--but it’s also helpful because you will learn if the tone and mood of the fic has enough staying power to capture your interest for the long haul. For instance, I have a few unfinished chaptered fics that have a humorous tone. I wish I had done more short humorous fics before starting them, because I would have realized that I don’t currently have the mental stamina to hold up a humorous tone for the length of a chaptered fic (hopefully that will change and I will finish Last Days some time this century!).

Plan it out ahead of time. I used google sheets for The False and the Fair. I do not think God intended google sheets to be used for fiction, but that was not going to stop me. On a more serious note, I think the best tool for planning fiction is the one you’re the most comfortable with--the notes app in your phone, handwriting, word, google drive, sheets, chalk board, summoning circle, the blood of your enemies, etc. The reason I chose to use sheets is that I knew from the very beginning that I wanted certain things to happen at specific places in the story--for instance, I wanted the first kiss to happen at the end of the first third of the story and I wanted the “reveal” about the mine accident to happen at the end of the second third of the story. But, I didn’t know what was supposed to go in between those elements. A traditional outline for a story at this point in development might have looked like:

Meet cute

Kiss

Reveal

Ending

But, what my brain needed was to preserve the blank spaces in between these story elements, and specifically to preserve the right amount of blank space between these story elements so that it didn’t end up, for instance, that the first kiss was halfway through rather than a third of the way through. In this way, I found google sheets an invaluable tool for pacing in the early parts of the planning process. I simply made 30 rows assuming 30 chapters, and started plugging in the elements I knew I wanted in the locations I wanted them. Then I filled in the blank spaces by asking myself “how do we get from X plot element to Y plot element in Z amount of chapters.” I’m not a mountain climber, but I’ve often thought about the first things that go into the spreadsheet in terms of mountain climbing terminology. In climbing, a crux move, which can be anywhere along the route, is the most difficult move of the route: if you can’t do it, you can’t do the route. I think of the first things that go into the planning spreadsheet as the crux moves of the story, the most important pieces around which everything else turns. It was not an accident that those were also all the first scenes of the fic that I wrote; if I couldn’t do those scenes, I couldn’t do the story the way I planned it so I wanted to know early on if I needed to make changes.

Make changes if you have to: even though it helps to have things planned in advance, don’t resist the story if it tries to change on you while you’re writing it. Usually the feeling that you have to make changes stems from having a plot that is not entirely character driven. As you write the story, the characters reveal themselves and sometimes the plot has to change to change with the characters’ motivations. Here’s an area where fanfic writers have a leg up on everyone else: if you write fic, you already know the characters really well. That means, (in my experience anyway) it’s less likely that you’ll have a surprise character development which leads to a rethinking of the whole plot. Less likely, but not completely unlikely, unfortunately.

Lie to yourself: The False and the Fair was supposed to be 90k words. I thought that sounded reasonable, a little less than 3x the longest fic I had ever written. Now it's 161k and will probably top out a little over 170k. Ooops. But I never would have set out to write something that long. I wouldn’t have thought I could do it, even though anyone more experienced looking at my plans for the fic probably would have laughed at the idea I could cover all those plot points in 90k. Ignorance is bliss. Protect your ignorance.

Scrivener: Long fic for me means “fic that is long enough you can’t hold all the parts of it in your head at once.” That’s where Scrivener comes in (or another app if you’d rather, but I really like Scrivener for the ability to see the project either linearly or as condensed notecards). You can put together an organizational scaffold in Scrivener that allows you to move back and forth between the forest and the trees. So, for instance, you might be going for a jog and come up with the perfect line of dialogue for chapter 27 when you’re only up to chapter 5 in terms of writing progress. With Scrivener, you can go home, and put that dialogue in the “bucket”/index card/whatever for chapter 27 without compromising your ability to see chapter 5 clearly or muddying up your google doc. You can then use the fact that you’ve started writing bits and pieces of the later chapters in conjunction with the tool of lying to yourself that, actually, you’ve written a lot more of the fic than you realize and that when you get to chapter 27 it won’t be as hard as chapter 5 because you’ve put in the groundwork already. In my experience, this lie turns out to be true about 50% of the time, which is better than 0% of the time.

Digestible mini arcs: The False and the Fair was originally broken up into thirds. I thought it would be 90k and 30k was the longest I had written, so thirds seemed to make sense. Also, 3 is a nice, time honored storytelling number. I think it’s good to give yourself seemingly achievable milestones along the way to completion. These milestones (for me anyway) lined up well with the “crux moments” I’ve described. If you’re someone who likes to write out of order, writing your way to an already written milestone can feel like sailing to an island where you get to rest for a bit from the stormy seas before setting out for the next island in the archipelago.

“It's all part of the process”: I’m categorically incapable of describing things without resorting to running metaphors, and so I apologize in advance, but I am now going to do the insufferable thing of comparing writing a long fic to running a marathon. Here’s the thing with a marathon. You are not going to feel good every step of the way. We all know this. It’s a marathon, it’s supposed to hurt a little bit, especially at the end. In the same way you literally cannot write something novel length or even novella or long short story length without, at least at some point, feeling bad about yourself and your writing. But you also can’t run a marathon if the whole thing is agony, and for most people, it’s not--your meat sack shuffling along the course is subjected to the slings and arrows of all sorts of weird body chemistry that only happens when you push it to its limits. So, you’ll be in agony and then the endorphins will kick in for a while and you’ll be thinking “this isn’t nearly as bad as everyone said,” and then you’ll drink some water at a rest stop and feel like a God for half a mile before you crash and you’re in agony again until that one perfect song comes up on the playlist...and you get the idea. Writing something long, for me at least, is a bit like that. There are massive ups and downs. The key for me is to just understand it’s all part of the process, a necessary step on the way to the finish line. If the fic is 10 chapters long, at some point you have to write chapter 5. Just like you have to write chapter 5, at some point you also have to go through a bit of despair before reaching the end. It is unfortunately non-optional. In fact, despairing is something you can check off your list each time you’ve done it. Cut dialogue tags, check. Feel awful about my writing for thirty minutes, check. Write ending section, check. Often I feel that the stress and shame and fear that come with bad emotions while writing are worse than the bad emotions themselves. It really helps me to remember these emotions are all part of the process and nothing to worry about. If I didn’t have them, then I would worry!

I certainly have plenty more to say about writing, but this ramble has gone on long enough. If you’re interested in any of this stuff, please feel free to send me an ask.

I would also love to know more about everyone else’s writing processes, so feel free to pop into my ask box to talk about your own approach too! I am very interested in this stuff!

#long post #writing #fic #princip's fic #princip writes #princip's musings #longfic #how make words go

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meg-noel-art · 5 years ago

Note

Why do you believe that Catra never got over her what you called "obsessive and selfish love" for Adora? Because I didn't see that.

-gestures vaguely to all of the show-

Okay, you know what, let’s get into this. Because I’m honestly tired of it all. First let’s start with this: In popular media, is there a common theme of erotic subtext between rivals? Uh, yeah. Hell yeah. Tension between two people looking to one up each other that can be read as romantic or sexual? Oh absolutely. So, let’s, for the sake of argument assume that was the type of dynamic that Noelle and Co. were going for all along, as they’ve stated. Because they weren’t the first to play with this dynamic and they won’t the last.

So again, tension and subtext between rivals that escalates into passion or eventually real love? Yes.

On the other hand: betrayal, emotional manipulation, physical maiming and injury and outright seeking the utter demise and failure of you ‘rival’ because they made you sad by making a better choice than you did? That doesn’t equate to love.

But, for the sake of argument, let’s approach Catra’s motivations as all based around this deep love she has for Adora, which I will argue through this post is more of as passionate and selfish obsession than actual love. (And honestly, that’s a super cool character motivation, but pretending that it’s an epic love story is gross and I hate it.)

So, let’s return to Season 1

One of the first real battles we see Catra and Adora in takes place at the end of the season. This comes after ‘The Promise’ wherein Adora tries again to get Catra to come with her, but Catra doubles down on her desire to spite Adora for hurting her and leaving her, by being as nasty as she possibly can and putting Adora in just as much emotional pain. Here, she not only fights Adora, but cuts her down to her deepest insecurities. Catra knows Adora and she knows how desperately she wants to be a hero. It’s an aspect of Adora that Catra has always disliked because it made her feel lesser. In order to fully cripple her rival here, Catra tugs at the strings she knows will hurt the most.

“You will fail them (you failed me)”, “You’re friends will hate you (Just like I do)” “You will never be the hero you want to be (I will be the reason you can’t)”. If you want to talk about subtext in this scene, Catra’s unhealthy and obsessive desire to be the only thing Adora needs/wants/thinks about is literally all over the place. If you want to argue that she’s saying all of this because she’s hurting, then it’s literally the cruelest possible way she could say it. And the show doesn’t bother selling us on the fact that Catra is in pain here, it just hammers home the idea of how badly she wants Adora to fail so she can feel that pain too.

In no universe, would I call that treatment of someone love.

Next up, this moment in Season 2:

I remember everyone losing their minds over this scene, and again, arguing a sexual tension between rivals, then yes, that makes sense. But in the context of this entire episode and the ones leading up to this point? This statement from Catra is disgusting. And it gets worse.

In the next scene, we see Catra literally planning to use Adora as her own personal weapon (an aspect I find personally icky when considering the struggle Adora has with destiny/her own autonomy at the end of Season 4 being use by Light Hope as a weapon. Catra literally has the same idea.)

And moreso than that, Catra won’t just use her as a weapon. She will use Adora to cut down anyone else who has ever cared about her or shown her affection. It’s a new level of jealousy/possession that is touched on even moreso as the series goes on. But what’s crazy to me is that it seems to have developed from Season 1. In the Battle of Bright Moon, Adora could only fail them. Now, however much later this is, Catra wants her to hurt them too. Adora will hurt, her friends will hurt. Everyone will hurt like Catra does. Because she’s possessive of Adora’s affection. It makes her feel like she has meaning. Which is an entire other can of worms about Catra’s motivations and character, but we’re gonna move ahead to season 3.

This is a fascinating moment to me. At this point, Catra has essentially flunked out of the Horde, but she’s NEVER been more determined to prove herself to Hordak, to SW, to Adora, to everyone. But here, Scorpia points out how truly happy she is when Adora isn’t even in the damn picture anymore. The poisonous environment of the Horde is gone, Catra is claiming respect for her abilities and personality. Adora has nothing to do with it and she’s happy.

And then:

Look, I am remise to sound like a total asshole, but the entire show is pointing this out for me through even it’s dialogue. Catra’s pain and hate and obsession returns when Adora mentions that their shared abuser Shadow Weaver has chosen her yet again. Suddenly, nothing matters. None of Scorpia’s kind words, or the achievments she made in the Waste. All that matters, is beating Adora. Hurting her. Being better and more loved than her.

Honesty, at this point I’m losing the thread of ‘love’ entirely. Now it just feels like a total mission for vengeance. But, once again, okay, let’s argue she’s really just angry and wants Adora’s love back. So what does she do to get it?

She opens the Portal to hurt Adora. As Adora screams don’t, begs her not to, tells her what it will do to their world, Catra does it anyway. Because Adora must hurt. She broke Catra’s heart and Catra must break it back. That’s how love works, I guess.

Once again, if the show was working on selling me on Catra’s motivations being sympathetic and fueled by love all along. It is failing.

Now, let’s talk about the Portal world that it takes them into. What everyone called their “perfect universe��.

So we have this moment, where Adora gets to the heart of the issue and asks Catra about her real pain. Catra avoids it, once again. Yes, of course she’s wanted this, they both always have. I suppose at this moment you could argue her true motivations come through, but it also just emboldens my point that Catra is not growing. She’s not gaining any character development. If she did just always want Adora by her side, this scene shows us that Adora has moved past these Horde induced childhood dreams they have. She has seen a bigger world and a bigger issue and Catra is still holding onto the hope that they will keep this promise to always have each others backs.

Which, is an ironic thing to hold onto considering Catra was the first to break this promise, by not going with Adora when the time was right. And yet she believes Adora is the one who owes her the apology. Now, this would be great set up for an arc about Catra coming to terms with the fact that she is the problem and Season 4 seemed ready to set that up but then... didn’t.

This line in particular has always stuck with me because it broke their relationship entirely for me. At this point, Catra could apologize all she wanted in a possible redemption arc, but the damage was done. She admitted a pain so deep that it would change her and Adora’s relationship forever. Her hurt ran so deep that she would rather die, see everything end, than see Adora find happiness outside of her.

I could stop this post here and honestly, my point would have been made. But we’ve got more to go.

I was so excited after the moment. After an entire season of snapping under the weight of her own choices. It is the image of Scorpia, who loved her unconditionally, who tells Catra that she is the problem and she always has been.

At this point, I was ready. Catra had hit rock bottom, there was nowhere to go but up. She would approach her pain and figure out who she wanted to be as a person. She would team up with the Rebellion because she knew it was the right thing to do, she would atone for her mistakes. By the end maybe she would go on her own adventure to find herself?

And.... No?

She doesn’t.

Season 5 rolls around and suddenly she is right back where she started, scrambling up the ladder for power and respect. It sure doesn’t work for Horde Prime, putting her in real danger. She even gets a few moments to connect with Glimmer (maybe apologize for the Portal...no... oh okay.)

In fact, she saves Glimmer! But.... why does she do it? Certainly not for Glimmer’s sake, a character who has been stated by the crew to be literally her narrative foil, her other half. But...

Like...? At this point I don’t even know what the show is going for anymore, it’s a fucking mess. You could even argue that up to this point, Catra HAS been manipulating Glimmer to trust her so that she could in turn save Adora. Which is all kinds of fucked up, as we see in the conversation with the BFS squad that Glimmer WANTS to save Catra, and trusts her.

And then this memory that incited Catra’s desire to save Adora was:

I could have just answered with this screenshot and saved myself an hour. You wanna argue love? Fine.

Then Catra has NEVER let go of her frankly concerning obsession with Adora’s attention and affection and that is no more clear that this memory where she also physically assaults her and steps on her, and Adora goes crawling after her trying to comfort her.

Oh? Are you, Catra? Well that’s cool. You are allowed to be sorry. But that doesn’t mean Adora owes you literally anything at this point. No one is ever obligated to accept any apology no matter how heartfelt it might be.

At the end of the day, this love story their trying to sell me on is so twisted I can hardly stand to watch the final season. Because it’s never worked out!! Adora immediatedly forgives every moment I’ve listed in this post and more. Catra never apologizes to someone who deserved it most, Scorpia.

And more than that, Catra never grows into who she should have become as a character. She is stuffed into an OTP the show wanted from the beginning but failed for 5 seasons to make convincing or compelling.

Also Adora has such a huge heart she deserves someone who would treat her better than Catra could. Catra can’t. Catra can’t even treat herself right.

Like... Yeah. I don’t even know what to say anymore. Hope this answered your question.

Obsessive, possessive....Gross. I’m tired. C/A won at the end of the day I guess, but at what cost?

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historyofshipping · 5 years ago

Text

My massive Bellarke is epic and here’s proof from s5-7 rant.

Ok guys I cannot stress enough that I am drunk, this is long, it has strong language, and it’s a trip. I am putting it almost all under a cut because it is 20 f*ing pages on word.

For reference: this was on a discord chat and I am removing all names and a few other things but there will be absolutely no editing. Anything in straight text is me, anything in italics is someone else (there’s several different someone elses so people are separated by line breaks). On my page I think it appears as everything grey is someone else, everything black is me. I’m going to put the beginning on here and rest under the cut. If you’re still going through with this, I suggest some popcorn.

Guys... I'm trying to stay optimistic but I'm really worried that jroth is gonna make bellarke canon in a really disappointing way. Like for me infidelity is a huge no in ships and I hate that becho has gone on so long that there doesn't seem to be a lot of room left in the canon timeline for a becho breakup/end that doesn't ruin the start of Bellarke for me

WAIT I GOT YOU I CAN CALM YOU I THINK BUT FIRST I NEED TO EAT MY BREADSTICKS

Every moment Echo is on the screen I want to claw my eyes out because she's so boring please jroth let it fucking end, but the feminist in me doesn't want her to die or be disrespected just because she's a callous asshole who doesn't deserve him yknow

Eat your breadsticks babe I've been living with my dread for 2 seasons I can hang on a little longer I just wish the entire becho relationship had never happened it's a blight and it's gone on so long adenfkidsngksdgnksdgn

Kate will say it better than I will, but don't lose hope! Becho hasn't really been together on screen for very long. It's only been like a few weeks to a month since the beginning of S5. They've stretched it out over two seasons, but in canon not much time has passed. And most of that time had Bellamy either sacrificing almost 300 lives to save Clarke, poisoning his sister to save Clarke, or fucking off into the wilderness with Josephine to save Clarke. They've just straight up not had enough time for Bellamy to be like, "Hey Echo, I know I said things wouldn't change but that was before my wife was actually alive, so bye." Though to wishing Becho had just never happened. We got one good angst scene with Clarke seeing them kiss. But otherwise, I could have very much done without their whole relationship.

they gave me 2 dozen breadsticks. i ordered 6

You've been blessed by the breadstick goddess.

oh sorry i was misinformed. i only have 22. apparently one bag only had 4 OK SO BELLARKE BITCHES AM I GOING TO ANNOYINGLY DO THIS IN CAPS SO BUCKLE TF UP

I mean, I love the idea that they only got together in the sixth year on the ring when Bellamy totally lost hope but is that canon? I thought we had a 3 year range

ALL RIGHT

We ignore canon in this channel. lol They've been together for 3 months.

SO LET'S START AT THE BEGINNING OF BECHO ok caps off. i even annoyed myself

I'm so here for this.

https://tenor.com/view/murder-she-wrote-angela-lansbury-jessica-eats-popcorn-interested-gif-4594942

Damn, I was ready for caps.

OK WE'RE BACK TO CAPS

https://giphy.com/gifs/popcorn-go-on-keep-going-Zd1BUb0qs6nwjeMUBu

OK SO WE HAVE BECHO'S FIRST SCENE TOGETHER ANYONE REMEMBER WHAT BELLAMY SAID? ANYONE? THIS REQUIRES AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION

"Hey work with me so I can break everyone out of this mountain"? or something?

OH DAMN I MEANT WHEN THEY WERE CANONICALLY TOGETHER XP

"I'm a goddamn delight who's trying to save your life you ungrateful walnut so maybe don't spit in my face" is what I would have written

LMFAO OJN THE RING WHAT'S THE FIRST THING WE HEAR FROM THEM? THE FIRST IMPORTANT THING? ANYONE?

Unfortunately that scene was physically repulsive for me so I don't remember much except for "nothing will change on the ground and my sister totally didn't mean to murder you"

AHA! THERE YA GO NOTHING WILL CHANGE ON TEH GROUND BECAUSE WHAT IS HE EXPECTING ON THE GROUND? NOTHING TO CHANGE BECAUSE THE ONLY THING THAT COULD CHANGE IS -----

>"I'm a goddamn delight who's trying to save your life you ungrateful walnut so maybe don't spit in my face" is what I would have written I SPIT OUT MY DRINK I CANNOT

ANYONE? YUP

I'm behind. lol

CLARKE

AND THEN WE GOT TO THE GROUND, WHAT HAPPENED?

BEING ALIVE

His sister having more taste in his romantic partners than him?

WHAT WAS THE LITERAL ONE THING THAT COULD HAPPEN THAT WOULD CHANGE BELLAMY'S MIND DING DING DING CLARKE IS ALIVE

10 points to

AND WHAT DOES OUR BABY BOY DO?

SACRIFICE 300 PEEPS FOR HIS WIFE

Clarke with a gun AND a kid AND a rover AND bedtime storytelling practice like what more could he want that's all the things he loves

A LITTLE AHEAD BUT BANG

BABY BOY FOLLOWS CLARKS DAUGHTER FIRST, LEAVING ECHO IN THE LITERAL DUST (that's what he does before sacrificing lives)

WE WENT FROM "I WILL NOT TOUCH THESE PEOPLE BECAUSE WE'RE GOING TO DO BETTER." TO "I WILL SLAUGHTER 283 PEOPLE WITHOUT RAISING AN EYEBROW" BECAUSE RANDOM CHILD SHOWS UP AND SAYS "CLARKE'S IN TROUBLE" RANDOM CHILD WHO HAS JUST KILLED A BUNCH OF HARDENED CRIMINALS

He had the dad mug tho, he had to help her

HE SAW HIMSELF IN HER HE KNEW

HIS SOUL KNEW

SO WE'RE THERE NOW BUT THEN BANG, WE'RE ON THE GROUND AND OH FUCK I FORGOT I HAD A GIRLFRIEND BUT BELLAMY IS LOYAL SO HE SURE AF ISN'T DOING ANYTHING UNTIL HE'S DONE WITH ECHO BUT

He's had 2 seasons!!!!!

CLARKE BASICALLY ACTS LIKE SHE DIDN'T CARE ABOUT THE SEPARATION THOU SHALT NOT POKE HOLES IN MY SHIT UNTIL I AM DONE

>He's had 2 seasons!!!!! But only like a few weeks in time.

BECAUSE THESE TWO FUCK HEADS CANNOT HAVE A CONVERSATION

Forgive me!

SO WE HAVE A GRAND TOTAL OF FEWER THAN 3 WEEKS THAT THEY'RE ON THE GROUND AND THEN IN THAT TIME WE HAD.... one sec pPLEASE TAKE A MOMENT TO REVIEW THE TIMELINE https://historyofbellarke.tumblr.com/post/620425806742749184/season-5-7x03-so-far-timeline FOR SEASON 5 ALL RIGHT SO WE HAVE THEM TOGETHER FOR LESS THAN A WEEK BEFORE BELLAMY'S LIKE (FROM CLARKE'S PERSPECTIVE) "I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOUR KID, I HAVE TO SAVE MY FAMILY" SO THEN WE HAVE THEM SPEND THE NEXT 10 DAYS APART BECAUSE SHE LEFT HIM AFTER SLAPPING HIM AND SHE THOUGHT HE DIED BECAUSE THEY ARE FUCKING MORONS WHO CAN'T HAVE A CONVERSATION (YOU WILL NOTICE A RECURRING THEME) AND THEN, ECHO HAS LEARNED THAT NOT ONLY HAS CLARKE CARED ABOUT BELLAMY ALL THIS TIME BUT THAT SHE'S ONCE AGAIN READY TO PUT THE FATE OF HUAMNITIY ON THE LINE TO SAVE HIM "GO SAVE HIM. EVEN TAKE MURDER!DAUGHTER WITH YOU" BUT BELLAMY STILL DOESN'T KNOW THIS SO ANYWAY WE HAVE ANGST!BELLAMY GET PARENT TRAPPED BY MURDER!DAUGHTER are y'all still with me? AND THEN WHAT HAPPENED IMMEDIATELY AFTER MURDER!DAUGHTER'S INTERVENTION?

BELLARKE FORGIVENESS ™

YAS NOT ONLY THAT BUT SOFT!BELLARKE RETURNS WITH A VENGEANCE [side note: you can pry this theory from my cold dead hands but there was 100% a canon bellarke scene between forgiveness and 125 year wake up just in case they ended at season 5.]

[I need them to publish that scene when this is all over]

ALL RIGHT SO FUCKING MARPER - WHO SPENT A TOTAL OF LIKE 4 MONTHS WITH CLARKE BUT 6 YEARS WITH THEIR FAMILY- DECIDED TO WAKE UP BELLARKE TO TALK TO AND GIVE GUARDIANSHIP TO AND WHY DID THEY DO THAT?

THEY BEEN KNEW

I'LL ACCEPT IT

OK SO WE GET THIS PROMISING FUTURE TOGETHER ON THIS NEW PLANET RIGHT?

WRONG MURDER POLLEN

OK BUT TECHNICALLY BECHO IS STILL TOGETHER. NO PROBLEM - WE NEED TO FIGURE OUR SHIT OUT AND THEN WE'LL HAVE PLENTY OF TIME TO HAVE PEACE AND GET TOGETHER OK SO I'M JUST GOING TO START SAYING "CHORUS" WHEN I MEAN "BECAUSE THESE TWO DUMBASSES CAN'T TALK TO EACH OTHER" IS CHORUS THE RIGHT WORD? OR IS IT REFRAIN? WHATEVER ONE REPEATS - THAT ONE ALL RIGHT SO WE HAVE THEM GOING INTO THE VILLAGE AND EVERY TIME THERE IS DANGER, BELLAMY GOES IMMEDIATELY TO CLARKE WHEN IT'S PEACEFUL, OPE IT'S BACK TO ECHO

(like the husband he is)

I HAVE A WHOLE META ABOUT THAT IF YOU WANT IT BUT SO THEN THE FIRST TIME - LITERALLY THE FIRST TIME SINCE THE MARPER VIDEO - THAT THEY'RE ALONE, IT'S BECAUSE BELLAMY HAS SOUGHT HER OUT AND WHY DID BELLAMY SEEK HER OUT? Y'ALL I'M ONLY AT 6X01. I HAVE SO MUCH AMMUNITION BUT SOMEONE IS WELCOME TO SCREEN SHOT THIS SO THAT THE NEXT TIEM WE HAVE DOUBTS, I DON'T HAVE TO TYPE IT ALL OUT SO WHY DID BELLAMY SEEK HER OUT?

>Y'ALL I'M ONLY AT 6X01. I HAVE SO MUCH AMMUNITION @kate (historyofbellarke) "Give a position show me where the ammunition is" from My Shot just popped into my head lololol

WHY DID BELLAMY LEAVE HIS CANONICAL GIRLFRIEND TO GO SEEK OUT CLARKE?

BECAUSE HE LOVES HER AND ALSO BECAUSE THERE WAS DANGER

OK BUT WHY SPECIFICALLY NOOO WHEN CLARKE WAS IN THE SCHOOL

AND THE LAST TIME SHE WASN'T IN HIS SIGHT SHE ALMOST DIED

OK THAT TOO

Okay I'm lost at this point then.

LOL

Phone a friend.

Bc she sucks and Clarke's the best?

I'LL LET ---- CHIME IN LMFAO I LOVE YOU GUYS KNOW IT'S TO TELL HER THAT HE KNOWS ABOUT THE CALLS

OH THAT SCENE

HE KNOWS THAT SHE CALLED HIM EVERY DAY FOR 2,199 DAYS HE SOUGHT HER OUT, BY HERSELF, TO TELL HER THIS

YES YES

BUT BECAUSE CHORUS

WE'RE BACK THESE FUCK HEADS CAN'T HAVE A CONVERSATION

SHE GOT NERVOUS AND DUCKED OUT BECAUSE IT'S BEEN LESS THAN 3 WEEKS SINCE HE CAME BACK AND SHE'S OVERWHELMED BECAUSE HOLY FUCK WHAT A 3 WEEK PERIOD THAT WAS (REFER BACK TO TIMELINE AS NEEDED) ALL RIGHTY SO THEN AFTER THAT THEY FIND OUT ABOUT THE RED SUN WHICH BY THE WAY IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE THINGS BECAUSE HE CALLS OVER ECHO JUST TO PROMPTLY IGNORE HER COMPLETELY [AND BECAUSE IT'S ME, I HAVE A GIFSET FOR THAT] SORRY I GOT DISTRACTED

NO WE'RE HERE FOR THE GIFSET

I'M LOOKING OK IT'S PART OF THIS SO YOU GET A 2 FOR 1 https://historyofbellarke.tumblr.com/post/184827185143/bellarke-danger-vs-becho-safety OK NOW I FORGOT WERE I LEFT OFF OH YEAH IGNORING ECHO ALL RIGHT SO THEN WE HAVE EVERYTHING GO TO SHIT AND OF COURSE, BELLARKE LOCK THEMSELVES TOGETHER AND WE HAVE THE ANGST THE ANGST BUT THEY HAVE EACH OTHER'S KEYS

WHICH IS A MARRIED MOVE IF I EVER HEARD ONE

BECAUSE THEY HAVE THE KEY TO MY HEART, WHEREVER YOU ARE, I'LL KEEP YOU

That's a very comprehensive gifset

IF YOU DON'T KNOW THAT SONG THEN I FEEL OLD SO YOU HAVE THEM UNLOCKING EACH OTHER BECAUSE OF COURSE THEY ARE

I might drift in and out of conversation, partner wants attention but I wanna finish reading this asdfgh

AND HE'S LIKE "NAH ECHO, WIFEY AND I GOT THIS. WE GOTTA TAKE CARE OF OUR KIDS." TELL THEM TO WAIT THEIR TURN SO THEY'RE GOING LITERALLY PSYCHOTIC BUT THAT'S COOL. I TRUST THE OTHER ONE ENOUGH TO NOT KILL ME BUT OH WAIT - WHAT IS BELLAMY'S PSYCHOSIS ?

Not needing Clarke anymore...?

YUP WHICH MEAN S

He needed her and knew it at some point

YUP ALSO I FOUND THAT GIFSET THAT I IDD TO THAT SONG https://historyofbellarke.tumblr.com/post/184725894498/this-song-popped-into-my-head-and-i-had-to OK SO SKIPPING AHEAD, HIS BIGGEST SECRET IS THAT HE DOES STILL NEED HER OK EVEN I'M STARTED TO GET BORED SO I'LL GIVE BULLET POINTS FROM HERE ON OUT SO WE HAVE HIM NEEDING HER HIM CALLING HER THE LEADER EVEN THOUGH SHE HASN'T BEEN FOR LIKE 6 YEARS AND WE HAVE HIM PINING OVER HER AT THE DANCE FLOOR AND PICKING A FIGHT WITH ECHO OH YEAH AND WE SEE ALL THE BECHO CRACKS HERE

This has been a v good rundown, I won't lie.

LOL

ONWARD I'M BACK ON TRACK

WE HAVE JUXTAPOSED: ECHO NOT KNOWING WHAT TO SAY WITH REGARDS TO OBUT CLARKE KNOWING EXACTLY WHAT TO SAY EVEN AFTER 6 YEARS

BECAUSE WIFEY

https://historyofbellarke.tumblr.com/post/618426948212965376/historyofbellarke-4-times-someone-knew-the-right

Really you'd think the spy would know what someone wants to hear smh

NAH BECAUSE SHE HAS NO EMOTIONAL EMPATHY. WE'LL GET TO THAT EVENTUALLY

She's also kinda a shit spy. Like when has she ever done actual spying.

Y'ALL I HAVE A GIF FOR EVERYTHING. I'M THE LIZ WARREN OF BELLARKE GIFS GIFSETS AT LEAST

You don't need empathy to fake it, Madison's right she's just such a bad spy :joy:

I'VE GOT NOTHING ON ---- FOR JUST GIFS LOLi

I say this as someone who was 10/10 a spy in a past life at least according to my recurring dreams about it1

OK SO THEN WE ALSO HAVE BELLAMY SIDING WITH CLARKE AT EVERY TURN, OVER ECHO'S EXPLICIT OBJECTIONS AND WE HAVE HER NOTICINGGGGGG WE'RE HERE FOR THIS CONTENT

https://historyofbellarke.tumblr.com/post/185265380768/6x04-bec-scene-follow-up-with-6x05 JUST ONE EXAMPLE

HATE TO SEE IT

SO WE HAVE BELLAMY CLEARLY SHOWING THAT HE'S HER LEADER - WHETHER HE MEANS TO BE OR NOT - WHICH COMES IN IN 7X01

Total aside but now I want a modern au where Bellamy doesn't know how to break up with Echo so he tries to ghost her while everyone around him is pulling their hair out

OH SHIT ONE SECOND I HAVE TO DO DUOLINGO SO I DON'T LOSE MY STREAK BRB

>Total aside but now I want a modern au where Bellamy doesn't know how to break up with Echo so he tries to ghost her while everyone around him is pulling their hair out ---- I love this, actually. WE SHALL HOLD YOUR SPOT

No one in this goddamn canon knows how to have an actual breakup conversation they only know how to die

CORRECT CHORUS

BECAUSE THESE TWO DUMBASSES CAN'T TALK TO EACH OTHER

Ironically Raven and Finn are the only ones who have had a half-normal breakup.

Will be back, partner is dramatically exclaiming that I don't love him anymore bc I won't go give him a goddamn hug bc the meta's too good

BOOM OK I'M BACK

SIDE NOTE BEFORE WE'RE BACK

GO ON

What language are you learning on Duolingo?

relearning spanish and then german german for work, spanish because i used to be fluent and i'm so bad now xp

This entire convo is a chaotic mess

We are a chaotic mess.

WELCOME TO THE HELLMOUTH, ----

Our ship is a chaotic mess.

It all tracks, honestly.

WE WOULD'VE ALL BEEN SO MUCH BETTER OFF IF JASPER HAD DESTROYED THE CHIP OOK SO MOVING ON NOW I FORGOT WHERE I LEFT OFF OH YEAH LEADER PERF SO OH YEAH I FORGOT TO ADD - 6 & 7 ARE ONE SINGULAR SEASON SO

This convo should totally be convered into a Masterclass session at the end. YES

WE'VE GOT A RUNNING THREAD OF ECHO BEING A FOLLOWER OF BELLAMY AND HER KNOWING IT

6/7 ARE ONE SEASON WE'RE HERE WE'RE LIVING

BUT BACK TO S6 SO WE HAVE BELLAMY BEING THE FIRST TO REALIZE THAT CLARKE WANS'T CLARKE AND WE HAVE THIS BEAUTIFUL MOMENT

I’m here and all of this is glorious

OH YEAH THERE'S ALSO THIS BUT I DIGRESS https://historyofbellarke.tumblr.com/post/618548726524510208/historyofbellarke-5x09-6x04-6x05 THE FIRST ONE HERE - https://historyofbellarke.tumblr.com/post/616075629201408000/just-some-clips-ofabout-bellamy-where-either HE'S WILLING TO RISK EVERYTHING EBCAUSE CLARKE MIGHT BE AT RISK EVEN THOUGH THEY LITERALLY HAVE NO WHERE ELSE TO GO OH YEAH FUCKING MURPHY - I'LL GET BACK TO HIM ALL RIGHT SO THEN WE HAVE BELLAMY FIGURING IT OUT AND THE HORROR BLOOMING IN HIS SOUL AND THEN WE HAVE HIM LITERALLY WITH A ROOM DESTROYED EVERN THOUGH HE IS CHAINED UP LIKE SERIOUSLY HOW DID HE MANAGE THAT AND THEN TRY TO KILL RUSSELL THE SECOND HE COULD BECAUSE HE HURT CLARKE EVEN THOUGH, AGAIN, THAT'S THE ONLY WAY HE AND HIS PEOPLE COULD SURIVVE BUT WITHOUT CLARKE, HE'S NOT ALIVE. HE ONLY SURVIVES AND HOW DO WE KNOW THIS? BECAUSE HE FUCKING SAYS IT (implicitly)

I just came into this. I have nothing to add I just want to say I’m living for it

:heart:

Agreed, this conversation is giving meaning to my insomnia :joy:

https://historyofbellarke.tumblr.com/post/618973621000585216/just-a-reminder-that-bellamy-canonically-only

WHOLE F*ING THING ON SURVIVING VS LIVING AND THEN ONCE HE DECIDES THEY'RE GOING TO LIVE (AND LET RUSSELL LIVE) BECAUSE IT'S WHAT CLARKE WOULD'VE WANTED, HE SAYS "WE SURVIVE" LOOKING LIKE THE SADDEST FUCKING PUPPY IN EXISTENCE AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE FACT THAT WE HAD A WHOLE DAMN EPISODE OF A 13 EPISODE SEASON DEVOTED TO BELLAMY SUFFERING BECAUSE HIS WIFE DIED AGAIN 3 WEEKS AFTER SHE WAS RESURRECTED SUBTLE, JASON. SUBTLE. OK NOW BACK TO MY BELOVED COCKROACH MURPHY AND BELLAMY ARE ARGUABLY THE TWO CLOSEST NON-ROMANTIC (:upside_down:) PEOPLE ON THE SHIP THE RING RIGHT? OK WE'RE GOING WITH IT ANYWAY

Hmmm yes(I agreee) but also Clarke and Murphy have that understanding that transcends words?

THEY ARE THE CLOSEST ROMANCE WITHSTANDING ON THE SHIP

AND MURPHY, MY BELOVED MURPHY, HAS BEEN THERE FROM "I'LL CHOP HER HAND OFF" TO "OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK CLARKE IS UNCONSCIOUS AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO" TO "YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE HERE SAVING SOMEONE THEY CARE ABOUT"

BECAUSE BELLAMY DOES NOT EVEN KNOW ECHO'S ACTUAL NAME AND THEREFORE THEY ARE NOT CLOSE

LOL SO MURPHY AFTER 6 YEARS IS TRYING TO GET BELLAMY TO DO SOMETHING HE WANTS (WE'RE BACK IN SEASON 5 NOW, SORRY) AND HOW DOES HE DO THAT?

AND INVOLKES MOM'S NAME

BLESSED BE "WELL IF CLARKE WAS HERE" BELLAMY ESPLODES OK SO NOW WE HAVE MURPHY AGAIN WHO KNOWSSSS AND WHAT DOES HE SAY TO JOSIE? ABOUT BELLAMY

If Clarke is dead Bellamy will kill us all HE KNOWS

BAM ALSO, REFER BACK TO PREVIOUS GIFSET, SAME MURPHY "OH YEAH I'LL TRY TO HELP ECHO TOO" BECAUSE MURPHY KNOWSSSS OOK THAT'S ALL FOR MURPHY NOW SO WE HAVE BELLAMY "WE'RE GOING TO SURVIVE BECAUSE I CAN'T LIVE WITHJOUT CLARKE BUT I'M GOING TO ONCE AGAIN HONOR HER FUCKING MEMORY" UNTILLLLLL WHAT HAPPENS

lol @ Murphy having to remind Bell his gf exists hahahah UNTIL HIS SOUL REALIZES CLARKE IS ALIVE

BUT HOW DOES HE REALIZE THAT

BECAUSE YOU CAN'T CONVINCE ME HE KNEW IT WAS MORSE CODE BECAUSE OF EARTH SKILLS NO

HE KNEW IT WAS MORSE CODE BECAUSE HIS SOUL FUCKING KNEW HIS WIFE WAS ALIVE

Yesss

PLATONIC SOULMATE MY ASS JASON

Morse code is life

[okay rant over, continue Kate]

MILLER'S FACE WAS LIKE "YOU FUCKING WHAT MAN?"

(side note- i am getting alive in morse code on my wrist when covid clears) OK SO WE'RE BACK SO WE HAVE JOSIE TAPPING HER FINGERS

Oh I love that I have friend who has that tattoo

YES TAP TAP MILLER GOING WTF BELL GOING ALL GIDDY PUPPY WITH A BONE

WHICH MEANS BELLAMY HAD TO HAVE GONE BACK TO HIS FAMILY AND SAY "OK WE'RE GOING TO RESCUE MY DEAD WIFE. SHE'S ALIVE. IKNOW BECAUSE JOSIE WAS TAPPING HER FINGERS." AND THE FAMILY HAD TO GO "YEAH OK THAT MAKES SENSE."

AND NO ONE QUESTIONED IT BECAUSE THEY BEEN KNEW

Yessss

SO WHAT ARE THEY GOING TO DO? LIKE IT WAS EVEN A QUESTION. THEY'RE RESCUING CLARKE AND BY THEY'RE I MEAN HE BECAUSE HE DOES NOT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THEM AT THE MOMENT SO HE'S LIKE "READY OR NOT, I'M RESCUING MY WIFE. BYEEEEE" AND JORDAN'S LIKE "WHAT ABOUT PRIYA?" AND EVERYONE'S LIKE ".... SORRY BRO. CLARKE. YOU WANTED HEART BELLAMY. YOU GOT HIM." SO HE GOES, LEAVING HIS FAMILY BEHIND WITH A BUNCH OF PSYCHOPATHIC MURDERERS WHO KNOW THAT BELLAMY IS GOING TO KILL THEIR DAUGHTER BUT HE'S JUST LIKE... BYE AND HE KNOWS, AND WE KNOW THAT HE KNOWS, BECAUSE JOSIE TAUNTS HIM ABOUT IT THE WHOLE TIME BECAUSE JOSIE IS THE AUDIENCE BASICALLY

JOSIE IS US BUT SLIGHTLY MORE PSYCHOTIC

ALL RIGHT SO SKIPPING AHEAD, SKIPPING AHEAD, YOU HAVE JOSIE'S WHOLE RUN DOWN OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP

TOGETHER

AND HIS VERY LONG PAUSE FOLLOWED BY "I WON'T LET YOU DIE"

EXHAUSTING

INSTEAD OF I FUCKING LOVE YOU BECAUSE CHORUS SO WE GET CLARKE BACK THROUGH SHEER FORCE OF BELLAMY'S WILL

>AND HIS VERY LONG PAUSE FOLLOWED BY "I WON'T LET YOU DIE" @kate (historyofbellarke) "I LOVE YOU, BITCH. I AIN'T EVER GONNA STOP LOVING YOU, BITCH."

"I'LL SHAVE THE BEARD" SO WE HAVE CLARKE WHO GAVE UP LIVING BECAUSE SHE THOUGHT BELLAMY GAVE UP (REMEMBER, JOSIE SHOWING HER THE MEMORY OF BELLAMY SAYING WE'LL TAKE THE DEAL) AND THEN CLARKE COMING BACK TO LIFE BECAUSE BELLAMY WOULDN'T GIVE UP AND THEN WE HAVE OCTAVIA, MY BROTHER POISONED ME FOR HIS WIFE AND I STILL RAISED MY NIECE ON STORIES OF EPIC BELLARKE, BLAKE IN THE BACKGROUND BEING ALL OF US

>SO WE HAVE CLARKE WHO GAVE UP LIVING BECAUSE SHE THOUGHT BELLAMY GAVE UP (REMEMBER, JOSIE SHOWING HER THE MEMORY OF BELLAMY SAYING WE'LL TAKE THE DEAL) @kate (historyofbellarke) OMG I HAVE A SPEC ABOUT THIS I HAVE A SPEC ABOUT THIS BUT IMMA WAIT TIL WE'RE DONE TO POP INTO SPEC TO TALK IT OUT OKAY CONTINUE

i'm going to keep going, but have i done a pretty good job of convincing anyone who was wavering? because remember this is all canon. i have done absolutely no spec-ing at all.

I'm very hype rn. Ngl.

lol

Could flip a tire for Bellarke rn kind of hype

OK SO NOW CLARKE IS ALIVE BUT OH FUCK, THE REST OF THE FAMILY IS IN TROUBLE WE LITERALLY HAD MURPHY, MY BLESSED MURPHY, SHOW UP TO GO "YO. YOUR GIRLFRIEND." AND BELLAMY GO https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/591463308117278720/716493560610029708/tumblr_pv4mkld49N1xsmktho1_500.gif SO OF COURSE, IT'S NOT TIME TO TALK BECAUSE CHORUS

DUMBASSES NO TALKIE

SO WE GET EVERYONE FIXED. A BUNCH OF UNNECESSARY PLOT SHIT HAPPENS. AND THEN BELLAMY LITERALLY PUSHES HIS GIRLFRIEND OUT OF THE WAY TO GO AND DO A DRAMATIC SUNSET REUNION WITH HIS WIFE AND THEN PLOT SHIT PLOT SHIT PLOT SHIT WE'RE IN S7 AM I MISSING S6 STUFF? PROBABLY BUT Y'ALL IT'S LITERALLY BEEN 4 WEEKS IN CANON AT THIS POINT AND I MISSED A LOT OF SHIT. SO Y'KNOW. OUR BABIES ARE TIRED N AND NOW WE'RE ALL GOOD RIGHT? JUST GONNA GO HAVE A QUICK MEETING WITH GABRIEL AND THEN GO BACK TO MY WIFE SO WE CAN TALK OVER SOME TEA THEN BAM, O GETS STABBED AND THEN WE HAVE . 4 EPISODES THAT HAPPEN OVER 2 DAYS BEFORE CLARKE'S LIKE "WELP. I'M THROWING MYSELF HEAD FIRST INTO A WORM HOLE TO GO GET MY HUSBAND AND HIS STUPID GIRLFRIEND." AND YOU HAVE EVERYONE ELSE GOING "I'M SORRY, DID YOU THINK ANYTHING ELSE WAS GOING TO HAPPEN?" AND FOLLOWING AND THE S6/7 WRITERS MOSTLY JUST CHOSE TO IGNORE THAT S4/5 WRITERS GAVE CLARKE A DAUGHTER BECAUSE, WELL, I DON'T BLAME THEM EVEN THOUGH I LOVE MADI SHE'S AN UNNECESSARY COMPLICATION SO HAND WAVING SHE'S FINE SO NOW WE'RE UP TO PRESENT

Fully convinced Madi was there to ensure Clarke didn't go fully insane on Earth and provide motive for that bitch slap scene from S5.

brb spilled beer

Oh, and to parent trip Bell/Clarke.

>brb spilled beer @kate (historyofbellarke) makes sense after the tea you're spilling on this channel

Someone really oughta document this convo for a later date. lol We will need to reference it before end of the season, bet. lol

blesss i do not deserve my partner he told me to go sit down and is cleaning it also i went to finish the last of the unspilled stuff and promptly spilled it down my chest so ALL RIGHT WHERE WERE WE OH YEAH AND BELLAMY FORGAVE HER BECAUSE MADI WAS LIKE "YO YOU'RE A PARENT TOO AND REMMEBER SHE STOOD BY YOU WHEN YOU PUT OCTAVIA ABOVE LITERALLY EVERYTHING" AND BELLAMY WAS LIKE "OH... SHIT." AND THEN SHE WAS LIKE "SHE CALLE DYOU EVERY DAY YOU DUMBFUCK" AND YOU HAVE THE PATENTED "OMG, DOES CLARKE HAVE FEELINGS FO RME TOO???" JAW DROP BUT NOW BACK TO PRESENT

(Now if someone will just fucking tell her that he did the equivalent grant gestureTM of the radio calls except w/ poison)

i didn't even include the fact that he fucking poisoned O, that diyoza referred to her as his girlfriend, etc etc etc OH AND AS TO WHY HBECHO ISN'T GOING TO BE A HTING ANYMORE BESIDES EVERYTHING I'VE SAID

FINN COLLINS THAT'S WHY

BASUCALLY YES

FINN COLLINS EXCEPT AT LEAST CLARKE KNEW HIS REAL NAME

THEY DID A LITERAL EXACT PARALLEL BETWEEN BELLAMY AND ECHO SPFEIHOi4ur YES LIKE IT'S LIKE THE WRITERS FOUND BESTOFBECHO AND WENT "FUCK, ARE WE NOT BEING OBVIOUS ENOUGH? TIME TO CALL IN ZACH MCGOWAN" ( THEY FUCKING GOT ZACH ON A PLANE FROM LA TO VANCOUVER TO JUST SAY "YOU DON'T LOVE HIM" LIKE I DON'T THINK PEOPLE REALIZE HOW INVOLVED OF A PROCESS IT IS TO GET AN ACTOR THERE - ESPECIALLY IN CANADA WHERE YOU HAVE TO BALANCE NON-CANADIAN WITH CANADIAN ACTORS OR YOU CAN'T SHOOT IN CANADA SO THIS AMERICAN HAD TO BE TAKEN INTO ACCOUNT FOR THE WHOLE SEASON FOR A 2 MINUTE APPERANCE BUT THE WRITERS WERE LIKE "YO HUGE NEON SIGN RIGHT HERE" AND THEN SHE CONTINUED ALL SEASON IN THAT VEIN UNTIL 7X05 WHEN SHE BROKEEEEE OVER HIS "DEATH"

BECAUSE HER SOUL DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS ALIVE LIKE BELL DID CLARKE

AND DID THE EXACT SAME FUCKING THING BELLAMY DID WHEN HE FOUND OUT CLARKE WAS ALIVE

And also as mentioned, she's a shit spy.

BECAUSE THE WRITERS ARE LIKE "CAN WE MAKE IT MORE OBVIOUS? I'M NOT SURE HOW!" so now we're at present day and here's a bit of crack spec-ing

THANKS FOR THIS LONG ASS META !!

YOU ARE WELCOME once again if i put that amount of effort into my dissertation, i'd be a phd with a published book or 3

This was a joy to read An utter joy This reaffirmed all my beliefs and got rid of all doubts I had

https://tenor.com/view/about-to-ugly-cry-ugly-cry-emotional-sensitive-crying-gif-8033343 i aim to please so now we have that O/B scene so we as the audience know something is off. bellamy was dragged sobbing and unconscious by his captors to suddenly being awake, fine, and killing a bunch of trained soldiers and holding someone hostage with his left hand. so then you have O, noticing something isn't quite right, casually bringing up clarke's name clarke. fucking. griffin. who bellamy had JUST brought back from the dead after learning she was alive and he's just... calm? about O possibly doing something with these psychos that's related to clarke? HE JUST POISONED HIS SISTER LIKE A WEEK AGO TO SAVE CLARKE'S LIFE i cannot stress this enough. bellamy fucking blake would not just go "huh?" when O, his sister that he's barely tolerating, goes "i'll tell you, you psychotic cultists, everything about my sister-in-law" and that's it. that's where i'm at s6 was about bellamy literally pulling clarke back from death s7 will be about clarke literally crossing time and space to get back to bellamy THIS IS AN EPIC FUCKING LOVE STORY AND ANYONE WHO THINKS OTHERWISE IS WRONG AND NOW I'M GOING TO TAKEA . SHOWER BECAUSE I SPILLED BEER ON MYSELF BUT I WILL BE BACK also i didn't think iw as drunk but then i reread that and started crying so it's definitely shower time

#bellarke #bellarke meta #the 100 #anti bech #anti ech #blarke wine club #long post

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ourceliumnetwork · 3 years ago

Text

Tagged by @tumbleweedtech!!

What is your total word count on AO3?

Oh thank god you're asking me to look there where they calculate it for me so i don't have to try and figure it out across all eleventy-million of my fucking WIPs xD.

uhhhhh looks like...274,424 heh. that's lower than i thought but then again I post very little of what i actually write so...

How many fandoms have you written for?

On AO3? if I lump the related ones together (which i do) it's 4. If we're talking across the board in general? uh...f u c k. there's so much i haven't posted or thought about posting yet. just go ahead and like. add ten more on top of the four fandoms on AO3 i think that's about close if we're counting crossovers and inspired-bys

What were your top 5 fics by kudos?

Right Back to the Beginning

Constellations

Please, What?

Spearwort, Iris and Ash: Spearwort Yellow for Joy

Lia & Em's Adventure In Thedas Part I: The Wrath of Heaven

Do you respond to comments - why, why not?

I... want to? I try sometimes, if someone's comment touches me or came at a particularly bad time. It's overwhelming to respond to people - I'm a lurker by nature and never really grew out of the habit of teen-me knowing i wasn't supposed to be looking at the fics i was reading and so i wouldn't interact with them or the authors at all. So it can be hard to like. reconcile that I'm a fully grown adult person who is allowed to not only read and write what i enjoy but also that like. other adult people are reading and enjoying what i write? and that they'd want to tell me? I admit to also falling out of what little habit i'd started due to continued weirdly critical (yet not *negative*) comments that just. rub me the wrong way so I can't figure out how to respond? yeah.

What's your fic with the angsty-est ending?

Again I guess if we're going by what's actually posted, I'd probably have to say the Super Fucking Old fic I added from my FF.net days: A Late Summer Afternoon (hopefully that's the right link - sometimes copy and paste doesn't work the way i want). warnings for MCD. I...imagine you might be able to pick up on why that one's my angstiest ending xD I generally try to like. end my stories on a positive note? even if it's not all better yet - so the second angstiest would be Color of Your Eyes or Have This probably. Likely more Have This over Color of Your Eyes but they're both relatively tame as compared to my earliest writing xD

Do you write crossovers?

Uh...yes but i haven't posted any yet. Most of the reason nothing I write gets posted is because I am incapable of writing small projects and I get nervous about posting chapters before i know where i story is going yet because i feel like i can't edit if it's been posted? Anyway I'm going to try and get over that eventually. Not right now, though. I still have to edit some stuff.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Hate is a strong word. I...assume most people who have commented mean well, regardless of how their comments may come off to me on my end. Several have rubbed me the wrong way due to phrasing and an inability to read tone over text-based communication, but I refuse to believe they would have kept reading if they didn't like most of the story. Certainly it has been generally positive feedback across the board so I don't feel comfortable at all calling any negative comments i've received (intentional or not) "hate"

Have you ever had a story stolen?

As far as I'm aware, no. Thankfully I tend to write shit that people just don't care that much about so I'm pretty safe I think. Watch that come bite me in the ass xD

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nah. I hope one day to be proficient in my target language and will be able to translate my own fics myself but see aforementioned note about how no one really cares that much about what i write xD it won't happen unless i do it myself.

What is your all time favourite pairing?

You want me? to pick favorites? in THIS economy?

What is a fic you would like to finish but don't think you ever will?

currently none are looking like "never gonna finish"es which is good. RBttB sat unfinished for a long while and I probably won't polish the ending on that one, but it's technically done. I also don't want to finish that one either so. it wouldn't have fulfilled the requirements of the question.

Writing strengths?

You want me? to compliment myself? in THIS econo- alright alright i know, it's a terrible joke. Uh...I understand i'm pretty good at smut. and descriptions? i think? I feel like my humor is unparalleled but that's also because i'm pretty sure i'm the funniest person in my apartment (we'll just casually not mention i live alone...) Seamless integration of current and historical memes? Puns? i don't know. i am super confident about writing but i couldn't tell you for sure what i'm actually strong at.

Writing weaknesses?

uh. Getting anything finished. endings. d i a l o g u e. writing. flow. pacing. repetition. writing. see what i did there? i told you my humor was awesome. no but really i struggle with actually starting to write and then it ends up being a lot of me repeating myself a bunch until i find the sentence or four that work best. and like. my pacing is weird so it can be hard to...figure out what i'm trying to say? oh and commas. i use commas wrong.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages?

I enjoy the shit out of it. I know it's not everyone's cup of tea but I try really hard to get it right. if I'm not 100% positive it's correct I will change the whole sentence. mostly because i only know a handful of people who know languages other than English and I am bad at reaching out for help when I need it. mostly the second part though.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

YuYu Hakusho! A friend and I wrote this epic fucking self-insert not-quite-isekai style fanfic back and forth in notebooks back in the 6th grade (which was about...oh. nearly 20 years ago jesus i'm old). Only one of my notebooks survived when she decided anime was demons and the devil trying to tempt her away from Jesus so a lot of the story was lost. It was also in pencil so it's half worn out of the notebook as it is. then there was the phase i went through where i decided i could make my notebooks more interesting by cutting them into shapes which lost me a bit of text in the margins that i'd forgotten about... look we're mostly lucky i had it at all or that i've kept it all these years. Why do i still have it?...hm.

What's your favourite fic?

Of mine? So far it's probably a toss-up between Spearwort, Iris and Ash and Lia & Em's Adventure in Thedas. you know. My two biggest projects Oh...oh possibly also the Current-Reworking-The-Title fic I've started that I've not posted anything of yet in the Arcana fandom. Which is also a huge major project. I don't write small if I can help it, apparently.

of someone else's? You want me? to choose favorites? in THIS- yes i know that's the same joke three times. I think it changes based on what I need most out of my fic reading experience. I have an extensive bookmark collection on AO3. one of them in there's probably holding a spot as favorite, most likely.

Tagging: @concertconfetti, @daughterofdungeonbat, and anyone else who wants to do this! If you want a specific tag to do this, please LMK and i'll tag you <33

#about me #tag game #writing #the captain writes #tagged by

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stringergames · 4 years ago

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Downtime Roleplay 4 - Checking Out

Post Session 5 - Misty Eyed

Ireena and Magpie spend some one on one time in the Kolyana Library, as the rest of the party continue to exasperate Ismark downstairs.

Words spoken in Elvish are denoted in italics. Spoiler warning: contains spoilers for episode 5 of Edge of Night

Content warning: grief, implied dead parents, alcohol consumption

"So, Mr Magpie, do you like poetry?" Ireena smiles at him as they climb the stairs.

"I do, it can be very beautiful. I prefer such things set to music, but that's a personal taste."

Magpie casts a slightly wary eye over the opulent staircase, taking in the disrepair and lack of upkeep. He takes another sip of wine and makes no comment.

"I enjoy the simplicity of poetry, so much can be said with so few words." Ireena is caught up in her own enthusiasm and does not notice Magpie's appraisal of the house. "Novels are good for escaping entirely to another realm, and you already know of my enjoyment of learning through books." This is said in Elvish, with a smile, before switching back to Common. "But poetry will remain my favourite, I think. If only for its love of pain that cannot be spoken in other ways."

Ireena opens a door on the landing that leads to a damp room piled with books, in the centre of which is a chair. The dust marks on the floor indicate that a desk once also stood there, but judging by the fate of other furnishings in the house, this was probably pilfered to become barricade materials a while ago.

Magpie replies in Elvish, quietly pleased to be able to use his native tongue. "Songs are my favourite, I believe. The dual storytelling between lyrics and tune is wonderfully versatile, but poetry definitely has a beauty of it's own, I can see why it calls to you so." He takes an almost hesitant step into the room, and checks back that she's joining him.

Ireena follows him into the study and responds in Elvish, clearly excited to be able to do so. "I wish I had a better understanding of music. It is a rare thing to hear music in Barovia that isn't a funeral march. Unless you encounter the Vistani whose performances are... livelier." Ireena smirks, and gestures to the room. "This is my library!"

Magpie quirks an amused grin at her Elvish, and takes a slow look around the room. "We heard Vistani musicians at the party. They played very well, Sierra was there among them actually. You'll have to see if she'll play the violin for you, it's truly beautiful."

"I would like that." Ireena pauses, wondering how far she can push her luck. "Maybe you would dance with me."

Magpie crouches in front of a bookshelf, scanning the titles distractedly, not so much as reaching a hand out to touch any of them. "I'm not sure you'd enjoy that, I was... never in a position to be taught any of the proper dances, and quite besides, I've been reliably told I have two left feet."

Ireena crouches next to him. "Then I shall simply have to teach you."

Her smile is soft and her tone no longer teasing. The tension in her shoulders is heavy, but not directed at this conversation or her present company. It is tension she's clearly been carrying for a long time.

"I like this one." She selects a book from the shelf. "It's long, but it tells the most wonderful story of a hero who journeys to find his way home after a long battle away from those he loves." She strokes the cover wistfully.

Magpie looks over at the book, admiring the cover.

"Sounds like a compelling tale." He casts his eyes to the floor briefly, and takes another drink of wine before focusing back up on Ireena and the book. "You have so many books, it must be lovely to be able to come here and escape with them."

"Father loved to read. And there weren't exactly many other ways for me to spread my wings beyond this village." She sighs darkly and gestures at the window. "Even before..."

Aware that her façade has slipped again, Ireena straightens her shoulders and attempts another smile.

"But yes, I am lucky. There are a few tomes in here that predate the beginning of the Von Zarovich reign in Barovia."

"Really? How old does that make them?" Magpie looks very interested at the promise of old books, a shadow that had fallen over his face lifting a little.

"Well over a century! Father rarely let anyone handle them, they're very delicate, but I always loved the way old books smell."

“Incredible. I shan’t ask to look at them, but what are they about? I often find some of the most fascinating stuff is in the oldest books.”

"There's a first edition of some very dramatic plays, and a couple of these epic poems too. If I'm being entirely honest, I am not completely sure I know what is in all of the oldest books Father had. But please, if you would like, feel free to select any volumes that take your fancy to take with you. It is wonderful to finally have a fellow bibliophile to share these with. My brother is not opposed to literature, but he's mostly been too busy with more important things to indulge me in expounding the joys of fiction."

Magpie looks gently surprised. "You'd let me bring some? Just like that?"

"I doubt Ismark will miss them, I will certainly be bringing some with me, and Father hardly has a use for them any more. Of course you may take some, as many as you would like." She laughs a little. "Or as many as you think you can carry, at any rate!"

Magpie laughs a little in return, a hesitant set to his face still. "It won't be many then. Most of us ended up here without a bag. You're sure I can borrow some?"

"Borrow, have, whatever you would like. And while we can't promise armour or weapons, I feel confident my brother can provide satchels or something to carry possessions in." Ireena puts a hand on his arm gently. "I mean it, really."

Magpie flinches at the touch, and pulls his arm away gently. "Satchels would be a great help, I don't think Fox's bag will survive anything else being put in it."

Ireena retracts her hand, but does not seem offended. "I did notice that sewing does not appear to be among Lord Ripley's particular skills."

Magpie laughs properly this time. “Apparently not, though I’m not sure I can say much after the gods awful job I did on those replacement gloves. It turns out not having something proper to cut the fabric with is a significant hindrance.”

"I hadn't liked to mention it, but they were somewhat unorthodox." Ireena giggles. "I wondered if it was some new trend from where you're from!"

“Decidedly not, just shoddy and hurried craftsmanship on my part.” He gives her a lopsided grin. “If you’re certain I can take a couple of books with me, do you have sections you’d rather I chose from? Or perhaps any recommendations?”

"You must feel free to choose whatever you'd like, although I suggest you take something less likely to fall apart when you touch it! But if you are open to suggestions, then I could show you some of my personal favourites?"

“I’d welcome that gladly, I find myself decidedly in a position of rather too much choice, and while I’d often like nothing more than to stay up all night browsing, I fear after the day we’ve had I need the rest.”

Ireena starts pulling books from shelves and various piles. They're all well-thumbed volumes, but don't seem in danger of falling apart completely. They span a wide range of genres: a poetry anthology by a Lord Byron, the classic epic poem she'd picked out earlier, a trilogy of long form fantasy, a collection of old Elvish plays, a couple of shorter looking novels (one historical fiction and one murder mystery), and a nonfiction biography of ancient rulers of Barovia. She sets them down in a pile in front of Magpie.

"This should narrow down the selection somewhat, I wasn't sure what you preferred, so I have chosen my favourites of many genres." She looks between Magpie and the pile a little nervously. "I hope there's something to your liking here?"

Magpie looks at the pile in astonishment, and brushes a gloved hand delicately across the covers.

"All of it, I'd wager; I'll struggle to pick those that I can carry from such a fascinating collection." He looks up and catches her eye. "Thank you. Truly."

Ireena shows him a flash of the smile she must've had before the recent events of her life, and it lights up her whole face for a moment.

"You are more than welcome, Magpie. I am aware that the journey ahead of us will be difficult, but I will not regret the opportunity to spend more time with you." She pauses and then adds almost as an afterthought, "With all of you. It will be nice to be able to say I have friends."

"It would be lovely indeed." Magpie looks back at the books, carefully thumbing through a couple of pages and starting to sort them into two neat piles. "After such a kind gesture, the least I could do is help you with your Elvish, if you still want to learn."

"Very much so, if it isn't too much trouble!" Ireena suddenly looks like she might cry and turns towards the door. "We should be getting back to the others, it is intolerably cruel of me to leave them solely in the company of my brother for too long." She turns back, and if her voice cracks, she doesn't acknowledge it. "Besides, as you said, you've all had a very long day. I imagine you will be wanting to rest soon."

Magpie blinks a couple of times at the abrupt change in mood, but makes no comment on it. He drains the last of his wine and sets the glass down, carefully picking up a stack of five books he'd set aside, the biography of rulers of Barovia, Elvish plays, and trilogy of fantasy, balancing them carefully in his arm before picking his glass back up.

"Are these alright? Is it too many?"

"No, no of course not! That's fine! Would you like some help carrying them?"

"That's very kind of you, but I have a good hold on them, and there's no risk of me spilling my wine." He gives her a cheeky grin. "Well, shall we go and save the others from the company of your brother then?"

Ireena smiles back, small and shaky, but perhaps more real than some of her smiles up to this point. "An excellent idea, Mr Magpie."

She leads the way back out of the study. She pauses on the landing and points at another door. "I believe that is to be your room for the night, if you'd prefer to drop the books off there, although I have no objections to you bringing them downstairs to share your finds with the others, if you wish."

"I –" Magpie looks torn, and a flicker of something passes over his face. "Perhaps, I'll drop most of them off. Bring just one down. To flick through."

"Great, I can wait here, or just meet you downstairs if you'd rather?"

"I'll be just a second." Magpie smiles at her briefly, and dips into the room to gently place the books down, keeping hold of the Elvish plays, and returning to her quickly.

"Shall we?" Ireena gestures at the staircase.

Magpie nods, and walks alongside her downwards, gently clutching the gifted book to his chest.

Written by Francesca Forrest & Nick Drew

Edited by Rowan E. Madden

Edge of Night is a dnd 5e actual play podcast, brought to you by Stringer Games. It is available on iTunes, Spotify & all good podcast providers.

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queen-erika-the-songful · 5 years ago

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001 Barbie! xx

As you wish! They’ll mostly be from Barbie movies but I’ll probably include other Barbie media as well

001 | Send me a fandom and I will tell you my:

Favorite character:

I guess it’s obvious, but Erika’s always been #1 in my heart. She’s brave, loyal, and on a personal level got be through a lot of rough times. But if I had to choose another, it would be a tie between Starlight (Barbie of Para-Den) and Mariposa.

Least Favorite character:

Probably Ryan from Life in the Dreamhouse. He just won’t shut up about how much Ken sucks and how cool he is and how he’ll steal Barbie away. At least most of Raquelle’s shenanigans were about proving she was better than Barbie in general, not just as a romantic partner. Plus she was way funnier and *gasp* showed remorse every once in a while.

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon):

1. Every combo of the Princess and the Pauper OT4 (Julian x Anneliese x Erika x Dominick) because they all work so no you can’t make me choose!

2. Every combo of the Mariposa OT4 (Willa x Carlos x Mariposa x Catania) because again I ship them all so you can’t make me choose!

3. Starlight x Sal-Lee. I mean it’s a classic “tough girl lets her guard down for this one person” idea that I adore, plus through Starlight Sal-Lee ends up opening up to everyone else as well, meaning she’s taking influence from Starlight. I also think they just have a lot of good chemistry. I wish SLA had it sequel so we could see more of their interactions.

4. Tori x Keira x Liam. I think I actually like this one more than Anneliese x Erika because they get so much more time together onscreen. And omg that time together is just oozing in adorable interactions. The winks, the sly smiles, the gushing, it’s just too cute. I also just think Liam is so sweet with Keira and you can tell from the “Perfect Day” montage and the scene with Tori in the carriage that he really loves Keira’s company. I like to think that Keira ends up casually dating both of them for a while - because she’s a BICON! If you really wanted me to choose just one between them though, sorry Liam, but I’d be Troi x Keira all the way.

5. I’m including Summer x Raquelle here because like I’ve said before I love the chaotic energy they’d have. I think if they ever got together Raquelle’s ambition combined with Summer’s competitive nature would lead into hilarious schemes of proving that there's "obviously" the best couple and Summer getting all defensive if Raquelle’s goals aren’t going her way.

Character I find most attractive:/

I have to admit, I think George (Dreamhouse Adventures) is pretty handsome. I think I just have a thing for men with dark hair and glasses.

Character I would be best friends with:

Oooh, so many to choose from! Okay, if I just pick one it would probably be Marie-Alicia (Alice). We’re a lot alike in some ways, shy about our passions, softspoken but not afraid to throw down, and struggling with confidence issues. I would love to spend calm afternoons with her sitting by the windows in Millicent’s Fashion House, working on my latest videos and musical aspirations while she worked on new designs. And then maybe we’d go for dinner or coffee and treats after!

a random thought:

I’m don’t think I’ll ever be over Barbie Live! In Fairytopia and Barbie LIVE! The Musical being limited releases with no proshots (proshot just means filmed musical/play). I mean come on even BARNEY had a proshot for one of his shows, so why not Barbie too?? Not only would everyone have gotten to see it but it would’ve helped to make back money for the production as well.

An unpopular opinion:

I love ALL Barbie movies and I don't think they "went downhill" after Three Musketeers. Sorry y'all.

My Canon OTP:

Barbie x Ken because I’m basic but I mean can you blame me??? They’re adorable in Life in the Dreamhouse, and I’m actually loving the slowburn in Dreamhouse Adventures despite how overused the trope is. They’re just so comfortable with each other and it’s clear how strong their bond is, even just as friends. Love them.

My Non-canon OTP:

Merliah x Kylie but honestly, you can’t convince me they aren’t canon. I mean come on, Merliah has NO male love interest and Kylie and her are a classic “rivals-to-lovers” trope. They kind of remind of me of Annika and Aidan at the beginning of Magic of Pegasus actually, because those two idiots were really trying to hide any attraction with snark and it just didn’t work. That’s how I see Merliah and Kylie; they pretend to be all tough and dismissive because neither wants to admit they’re actually head over heels. Plus I mean Kylie almost DIED to protect Merliah and the whole ocean, could you really blame me for shipping them after that?? Aw man they’re one of the best f/f ships out there.

Most Badass Character:

I’d say of all the badass characters in Barbie, I’ll choose Rosella. She learned how to provide for herself on the island, she can *parkour* (lol), and most importantly she never gave up trying to help Apollonia’s animals no matter what. Even when everything was against her, she stood up for what she knew was right. Also, she never said one bad word against Luciana. I know that may not seem like much but too many movies with love triangles pit the women against each other and I’m just not fond of that unless one of them is supposed to be really nasty or villanous.

Most Epic Villain:

I’m going with Preminger because he honestly scares me. Similar to someone like Adagio Dazzle, he’s almost always one step ahead and easily molds the situation to fit his needs. Every time a wrench is thrown into his plans, he finds a way to adapt and continue being the one in control. He’s undoubtedly clever and cunning.

Pairing I am not a fan of:

i know I’ve said this before but UGH Kara/Super Sparkle x Wes Rivers. I don’t care if he’s supposed to be her “Lois Lane”, he’s a wannabe newshound who exposed her identity without a second thought to boost traffic to his blog. That is the NUMBER ONE thing you do not do to a superhero because it can and WILL endanger not only the life of the hero herself but also anyone she knows. He’s not a journalist, he’s just a one-man papparazzi with a phone instead of a camera. Absolute worst Barbie movie love interest.

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another):

Barbie in Puppy Chase. First, she brings the puppies with them to Hawaii for no good reason. Seriously, there’s a lot of work that goes with bringing pets on a plane, so unless it was Chelsea that begged her to take the puppies, which I seriously doubt, there was no reason to waste any time/money on doing that. Secondly, she didn’t reserve a car beforehand. That’s...just common sense. Third, she completely ignored Chelsea every time she said that it was HER trip, for HER competition, and SHE wanted to go straight to the hotel. There was time to see the horses and whatever else, sure, but they should’ve done it AFTER checking in at the hotel. Not to mention, what if their room had been given to someone else because they were no-shows? This movie just made Barbie look like an insensitive idiot and I can’t forgive that.

Favourite Friendship:

One of my favorites is definitely Erika Juno and Princess Olivia. I made a longer post about it a few years ago. I really like how they teach each other and how they grow thanks to each other’s influences.

Character I most identify with:

Right now, Starlight & Erika. I’m jittery, unfocused, and at times really unconfident. At the same time, I also feel trapped inside and music is really my escape from both the world and my own sorrows.

Character I wish I could be:

When I get older, I hope to be like Aunt Millicent - the “cool” aunt that inspires her siblings’ children, like how Millicent inspired Barbie to be a strong woman. I mean I’dl ike to be inspiring to my own children as well, but I chose Aunt Millicent specifically because I’m not sure if I myself will ever be ready to have a child, so right now I’m preparing more for being the best Aunt I can whenever my little sibs have kids.

#asks #barbie movies

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fight-surrender · 5 years ago

Text

The 5 Stages of Wayward Son

Word Count: 1283

This has been knocking around in my brain since September 24th, but others came along and shared their feelings and thoughts about this book far more eloquently and succinctly than I could. Plus it just hurt too fucking much to think about. I think I even have a draft somewhere on the topic that I started and stopped when this was all fresh.

But then Rainbow Rowell twisted the knife yesterday with her annotated playlist blog post. I started to read it but had to stop. My more emotionally mature fandom friends read it and messaged me weeping.

I know my tears are there, I can feel them under the surface. But through a confluence of life events and experiences, I’ve gotten really fucking good at locking them up. My therapist noted that they’re beyond locked up, I disassociate from my emotions completely. I’m working on it, slowly some feelings are percolating up. When Simon kissed Baz in Carry On, it was like an electric shock to me. I felt joy for the first time in years. That book made me so fucking happy. I couldn’t quite put my finger on why, but I joined up with this fandom, started writing fic, made some of the most incredible friends of my life and counted down to Wayward Son.

Shock, Denial, Isolation- when I googled the stages of grief, stage one was a hodgepodge of these. My heart stopped when I read “when I break up with Baz” in chapter 2 of WS. This was my worst nightmare, the thing I thought Rainbow would never actually do to us. I mean, she teased it, but I just thought…I almost put the book down. But I pressed on, convincing myself it will get better. I dug out an ancient emergency cigarette around chapter 11. My brain on repeat: “it will get better; they will be ok” like a drumbeat. I was home alone, sitting in my leather club chair with my pets when I finished the book. I’m not sure I’ll forget that spot, that moment. Good God will it be emblazoned into my psyche like 9/11? But at that moment, I felt like the rug had been pulled out from under me and I was flat on my face in the dirt. Pure shock. All I could do was ugly cry in my bed while my pets looked on with concern. I isolated. I drank whiskey and ate cheese. I felt pretty insane— still do to be honest. Traumatized from a book? A work of fiction?

I’ve been thinking about it nearly constantly since then. Because I’m disturbed. Ask anyone. I know Rainbow has said that this is a very Baz-centric book, but for me it was all Simon. I needed Simon to be ok. I needed to know that you can go through trauma, where you lose everything you thought you were and that you can recover from that and be loved for what it made you. What you became. Simon’s trauma was my trauma. His worthlessness was my worthlessness. But this was fiction, this is where I get to escape from my humdrums and go to a world where at least someone gets a happy ending.

That’s what fiction is. An escape from reality. I get it, Rainbow, that’s not real life. Wayward Son is supposed to be like real life, but that’s not what I wanted, it’s not what I needed.

Instead, I got what I already have. Sinking dread. Uncertainty. Self-doubt. I wanted to rage, numb, distract. Anything to avoid looking down the barrel of my own sense of worthlessness and what got me there. In WS, Simon Snow gives voice to the troubled whispers of my own brain. Carry On used to be my emotional support book. Whenever I was anxious or sad, it was like a drug. “And then he kissed me,” “because we match,” were like dopamine hits. Now it feels hollow. It feels like a lie.

This was obviously a case where my expectations were about a billion percent wrong. I was hoping for angst with a happy ending. I got angst with an uncertain ending. In hindsight, I kinda think I would have been ok if I knew ahead of time that it was a middle book. It wouldn’t have been such a shock. But here we are.

I’m legit afraid of Anywhere the Wind Blows. At this point I think Rainbow is capable of anything. I know she maintains that she loves Simon and Baz as much as we do. But does she love them together or apart? Maybe she decides they should just be friends. Maybe somebody dies. I mean, Elanor didn’t get Park. Rainbow said that she’s writing an epic love story: isn’t Romeo and Juliet an epic love story? I simply don’t know if my heart can take it.

I need to take a moment here. This whole piece is a moment—I actually have the house to myself—which is rare—because that’s where I have usually been: alone. I usually face my traumas and falls alone. I’ve been through some shit that would make your skin crawl. I’ve coped and muddled through by myself because I’ve never had any support. Simon has Penelope and Baz—I never had anyone, mostly due to my own habit of isolating and numbing. Until now. This fandom, the friends I’ve made. I don’t know where I would have gone, where I would be without them. I thank them from the bottom of my heart. I love them with my whole heart. Every chamber. (particularly “the moms group”, @penpanoply @vkelleyart and @carryonsimoncarryonbaz )

That’s the crux of it isn’t it? Simon has Baz. He has someone who loves him despite everything that’s happened to him, who loves him on purpose. He has Baz, his soulmate. He has Penny, his dread companion. If he can’t be ok, what hope is there for me?

So anyway, back to the stages of grief, I am currently stuck at stage 2- anger and stage 4- depression. I don’t think there’s any room for stage 3- bargaining. I mean, I’d sell my soul for Simon and Baz to live happily ever after as a couple, but Rainbow has made it abundantly clear that she’s a contrarian and will gleefully do the opposite of what readers wish. I just learned that the hard way with WS. So bargaining is out of the question. In the meantime, I’ll just read fanfiction of them being a happy couple.

I put WS in the place inside me where I put the things that hurt too much: the difficult euthanasias at my job as a veterinarian, when my dog died last year, when my marriage exploded six years ago (I’ve put it back together), a lifetime of miscellaneous hurts and traumas. I need to take these things out of their hiding place. @adamarks said it beautifully in their fic, Oh, Hello, I need to scrub out the inside of my heart with tears and elbow grease and anger and work. I want to put myself back together piece by piece until I resemble something presentable. So eventually I can get to stage 5-acceptance (and hope, but that’s scary as fuck).

I sure hope you haven’t read to this point, because this is all just me working through my feelings about this book and it’s probably mind-numbingly boring. If you did, I hope you found at least a shred of something relatable. If not, I apologize for the wasted time. I promise to go back to my regularly scheduled programming after this. I just needed to shit this log out of my brain so I can move on.

I love you all.

Viv

#wayward son #word vomit #probably delete later #simon snow #baz pitch #do I really want to tag this?#carry on #don't read this #i implore you #it's just me rambling about ws related trauma #ws spoilers #i guess #mostly just feelings not plot #ugh

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mccoys-killer-queen · 5 years ago

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This Week’s Playlist (2/14)

Not sure how I got hooked on this idea- but this week I’ll be focusing entirely on 70s songs (and next week I’ll do 80s). Disclaimer: I’m not saying these are my favorite songs of the 70s (believe me that would be WAYYY too hard to narrow down), I’m just filling this week’s list strictly with songs released in the 70s.

I’ve also created a spotify playlist made up of all the songs I’ve used on playlists! I’ll update it every week (before I even post the playlist, so if you check at the right time the songs will be there!)

1.) London Calling- The Clash (1979) I like to define this song as the song that started my descent into classic rock. When I was in 7th grade I had this music teacher who would always play pop music of the late 20th century for class. This song was one of the first songs she showed us, and it became a trademark of the class. We used to get this song played at dances and stuff- so there’s a lot of middle school memory there. Guess we all wanted to be punks- and this is a great boppy song just for that.

2.) All Right Now- Free (1970) Am I being typical for picking this song...? Perhaps (because honestly, at least where I’m from, this is the only Free song anyone knows... yikes. It’s overused in media sometimes imo). But that doesn’t meant it’s not great! It’s got everything! An epic guitar riff that frames the lyrics, a sick beat, funny rhymes, a killer musical interlude with bangin piano and a guitar solo- all while being undeniably CHILL. This one of those chill summer songs to me; the kind you listen to on a hot, quiet, and sunny car ride through the country with the windows down while wearing sunglasses. That’s just the aesthetic I’ve always associated with this song.

3.) Rock’n Me- Steve Miller Band (1976) Just try not to bop. I dare you. This is a real dance-a-little-in-your-seat song with a GREAT, smooth flow to it. Killer rhymes and a fast, subtle beat you can’t avoid even if you try. Steve Miller Band is one of my favorite groups of the 70s and I wish they got more appreciation in general. I could’ve picked so many of their songs already for these playlists, but this one stood out to me this week because I feel like it’s very recognizable (I always heard this song as a kid and I feel like maybe some people on here did too). It’s so damn catchy that it’ll just stick with you, so listen and get ready for an earworm. Also a great road trip song.

4.) Once Bitten, Twice Shy- Ian Hunter (1975) No, this isn’t Great White!! This is the song we all know and love but this one’s the original! I feel like I need to educate anyone who’ll listen about this! *scoff* god, now I can see why Joe Elliott’s always shoving Ian Hunter in everyone’s faces- because he’s worth it! Maybe I’m a little biased, but I personally prefer this version over Great White’s for a bunch of different reasons. For one thing, I think this version focuses more on telling the story rather than trying to make the music over the top. The instrumentals of this one ROCK, but the way it’s constructed with the lyrics makes the story more understandable- essentially, it’s just more raw, and I like the raw sound to it, but that’s just me. You all probably know how the song goes at this point, but after listening to this version you’ll see just how much of it Great White changed. You take it upon yourself to decipher the meaning of the lyrics ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) I think we all know what “rock and roll” means at this point...

5.) Lovin’, Touchin’, Squeezin’- Journey (1979) I don’t like to acknowledge Valentine’s Day, nor was I going to mention it in any way on this playlist- but let me tell you a story: last year on VD, I was driving home from school, and this song came on the radio. Then it hit me- I had completely forgotten about ANTI-Valentine’s Day songs! This is a PERFECT example of one. It tells of an unfaithful someone who gets bitten in the ass by someone else’s unfaithfulness. Talk about a SICK burn! This has gotta be my favorite Journey song as well. It’s like a flash-fiction song; telling a huge story while barely saying anything at all. My favorite part of this song by far is how each instrument has a crystal clear part, and you can very easily pick out each one. The intro of this song is just excellent. You can clearly hear the bass, drums, guitars, and piano all introduced in different ways. It’s just a gorgeous song through and through, and those 189 “na”s at the end just tie it all together (and yes, I counted). You’ll have all the words down before you know it.

6.) You’re All I’ve Got Tonight- The Cars (1978) Like I said last week, The Cars are one of the perfect combos of rock and pop. If you think about it, this one can be another anti-Valentine’s Day song. The lyrics have a sloppy and desperate feel to them- kinda like the speaker is drunk and throwing themselves at someone because they’re that desperate. “I don’t care if you hurt me some more, I don’t care if you even the score”- like oof man, you just sound desperate. This song is a banger in every way and let’s face it- the keyboard at the chorus is just the absolute best part. Strong points for these guys are always keyboards and guitars. It’s got this rock hard chill 80s vibe to it (despite it being a 70s song- new wave, you know), you’ll feel that you need to be doing something cool while listening to it.

7.) Rock and Roll- Led Zeppelin (1971) It’s so cliche of me to use this I know I know I KNOW- but can you blame me? On Sunday in a record booth at the market I found an original Zeppelin IV and I feel like this song has been following me all week because of it. This is unarguably one the most recognizable and famous rock songs of all time- because it was so expertly crafted in every way imaginable- just like everything else Zeppelin’s ever done. It’s ALWAYS the drums that do it for me in this song. l That filler at the end is- without question- the best part of the whole song. Bonzo just KILLS it. Overall, it’s a short-ish song that uses its time extremely well; it’s like all four of them went “let’s maximize every single element that goes into a bop, and make a song like that”. In some ways, this song is objectively perfect. If you want pure rock and roll in all its glory- what better song to choose than Rock and Roll itself?

8.) Keep Yourself Alive- Queen (1973) Another objectively perfect rock and roll song with a killer drum solo. I’m super biased towards Queen- but I cannot believe I never heard of this song until I was prepping my brain to see Bohemian Rhapsody! Honestly, who thinks it’s okay to keep this hidden? It’s the leading song off of their very first album- so this is almost like the song that INVENTED Queen fans! It’s a Brian May baby- and hell yeah does it show. I think everyone needs to know this song for artistic and historical reasons. It’s pure, power rock Queen through and through- despite being one of the earliest of their songs.

9.) Cum On Feel the Noize- Slade (1973) NO, it’s not Quiet Riot!! This is the song we all know and love but this one’s the original!! Again, I feel like I need to educate anyone who’ll listen about this! I get so angry sometimes that Quiet Riot gets all the credit for songs like this one and Mama Weer All Crazee now. Slade was super popular in England in the 70s- ahead of their time for sure but definitely one with the glam rock movement- but not as big in America. I never knew these guys existed until about five years ago and damn I felt like I had to be blind before learning that. Just listen to this song and then I think the sound of it’ll make a lot more sense, like “oh yeah- Quiet Riot’s version kinda DOES sound like it could be a glam rock song from the early 70s!” Just goes to show what geniuses these guys were, because their songs can be both glam rock AND heavy metal and work either way. Once you hear this version, though, I believe there’s no going back.

10.) Roll With the Changes- REO Speedwagon (1978) This was my favorite song for a few months when I was 16- it’s absolutely EPIC. The speaker is bursting at the seams with accepting a new found moral understanding of how they feel about trying to please or win over an apparent lover. They come to the conclusion that the other person just needs to keep on “rolling with the changes” and that they’ll be there for them whenever they decide to accept that perspective. The KEYBOARD is to D I E F O R GUYS. Neal Doughty is a motherfucking SAINT- and SO IS GARY RICHRATH. This song sounds like it’s the finale of a musical or something! Possibly the biggest bop REO has ever created. It’s a groovy, extremely poetic, fast, theatrical, very slightly operatic rock and roll song and I’d highly recommend this to any person on the planet I love it that much. It’s lovable in every possible way.

#the clash #free #steve miller band #ian hunter #journey #the cars #led zeppelin #queen #slade #reo speedwagon #weekly playlists #raydio gaga

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grither55 · 4 years ago

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The Princess and the Peasant - (An Azula Epic) - Chapter 5 - A Poem for the Princess

After Elle had finished eating Azula had dismissed her.

She had been sent back to her servants’ quarters where she spent the remainder of her time laying on her back working on her artbook.

The lovesick girl quirked her lips while humming thoughtfully as she continued to paint her princess’s divine face.

“Hm. It could be better…. couldn’t it?” The blonde-haired girl pondered while tilting her head adorably in deep thought.

Even when she was alone her primary thought was always Azula.

She spent so much time on it that she fell asleep with her book in full display upon her lap.

In the early morning Azula strode through the halls of the palace before coming to a stop before the girl’s servant quarters.

It was nearly a full hour before her servant was scheduled to get up.

But after waking up herself for some reason she felt like checking to see if the girl was already awake.

Could it be that she actually sought the company of a mere peasant?

For reasons that escaped her she opened the door quietly almost as if she was concerned with waking Elle up too early.

She chalked it up to being concerned about effecting the girl’s coming labors in the day ahead.

When the door opened Azula glanced inside the modest room only to sweatdrop when saw Elle sprawled out on her bed snoring.

The small blonde was laying upon her back with her legs stretched out and a blanket half covering her robed body while her master observed her in amusement.

‘I am not sure why I expected her to be up earlier than scheduled. Though…I will admit. She’s…cute.’ The princess thought as she began to close the door.

Only to pause when her golden eyes caught the glimpse of a large sketchbook lying face up on the girl’s belly.

With her curiosity piqued Azula began to silently stride into the room with her arms folded over her breasts.

And then very carefully as if still fearing waking her pet she lit a small flame in the palm of her hand.

With the room lightly illuminated by her blue fire she gazed down at the petite servant’s snoring quietly face.

What she saw in the opened pages of the artwork caused her eyes to widen in surprise.

Paint supplies were scattered about on the floor beside a small container.

And gazing up at her on full display was a painting of her by the lake!

The detail of the piece was simply astounding.

It was almost comparable to the paintings that lined the halls of the palace!

In the painting she was sitting with her legs folded beneath her while she gazed out over the waterside.

The title was in a puzzling foreign print with characters that she was unfamiliar with.

Azula-sama, lakeside.

It took a great deal to take her by surprise but this…

Her little servant had been painting her from the bushes!

And just like that the blue fire vanished while she stood over the slumbering teenager with her cruel eyes once more conveying a rare fondness.

‘She…really likes me.’ Azula thought with the hints of a blush upon her cheeks as she turned away from Elle while the girl began to roll over in her sleep.

Without further delay the powerful princess began to exit just as quietly as she came.

Her stoic eyes glanced back at the girl’s snoring face for a final time before silently closing the door behind her.

And with that Azula walked away with her palms folded behind her back.

Somewhere deep inside of her hardened heart.

She…was truly flattered by Elle’s innocent adulation.

She decided that she would keep the details of this little visit to herself.

And she also could not help but wonder…will her handmaid paint her again?

One hour later.

Azula was seated in her study as she listened to the sound of light footsteps approaching her chamber.

She turned expectantly to see Elle kneeling before her chair with her head bowed low at her feet.

“Ohayō gozaimasu Azula-sama!” Elle greeted happily while huddling onto the floor with her master staring down at her in approval.

“Is that a good morning?” Azula asked in an amused voice while setting her paperwork down.

“It is so princess. How may I please you this morning?” The blonde-haired girl answered while the woman turned to gaze down at her with her arms resting on the sides of her throne.

“Go fetch me a hot cup of coffee.” The princess commanded in a stern voice while peering down at the girl with imposing golden eyes.

“Yes master!” Elle exclaimed before rising from her bow while smiling warmly at Azula’s hardened face.

“You may get yourself a cup as well.” Azula informed curtly before turning away to focus on her paperwork.

The petite blonde’s face broke out into the widest smile that she could manage as she listened to the naïve girl cry out in gratitude.

“A-arigatou gozaimasu! Arigatou Azula-sama!” The blonde-haired girl cheered with an innocent grin adoring her lips while her master glanced at her over her shoulder.

“Keep your voice down! And keep this to yourself, and make certain that you close the door when you return.” The princess hissed with her eyes narrowing as she watched the younger girl bowed at the waist.

“Understood princess! Your secrets are safe with me. I won’t tell anyone. Not even under threat of torture.” Elle assured as she smiled warmly back at Azula who simply rolled her elegant eyes in response.

And with that the young girl left the study with purpose in her step as she departed for the palace kitchens.

“This peasant has me going soft.” Azula snarled under her breath before returning to her morning work.

But even so.

She recalled what she saw this morning…and despite her best efforts to be colder to the girl.

She was finding that she truly enjoyed their interactions as it stands.

If she raised a hand to the pure-hearted girl…then her little handmaid will no longer labor with such undying adoration in her eyes.

Perhaps…fear wasn’t the only reliable way.

It was not long before a cup was placed before Azula while she glanced at Elle through the corner of her eye when the girl seated herself beside her throne.

“Don’t you want to sit in a chair?” The princess questioned calmly while reaching for her cup.

“No. I would rather sit beside you Azula-sama. I don’t mind the floor. It’s closer to you.” The blonde-haired girl stated in a genuine voice while sipping her cup.

Azula made no comment to that as she observed the girl lean against the side of her throne.

It was a sight that she decided seemed almost fitting.

“You will receive more training today. This time though…ignore any order that contradicts my will.” Azula declared while regally drinking her hot beverage.

“Wakarimashita!” Elle chirped while beaming up at the looming throne when a hand lowered to pat her head.

She began to blush as she sunk back into the base of the large throne as her master petted her.

It was a truly strange thing but she didn’t mind it when the woman treated her like a precious pet.

“Good girl…” The princess found herself muttering as she ran her fingers through plush blonde tresses while reading the upcoming war plans.

“I-I am Princess Azula’s good girl.” The blonde-haired girl stuttered in a lovesick voice while closing her eyes in serenity.

For the first time in all her miserable life…she finally felt like she found a place where she belonged.

“I can see that.” Azula stated with smugness lacing her voice while clutching the girl’s head beneath her palm.

“Azula-sama?” Elle began in a hesitant voice while the older girl closed her eyes with her coffee mug in hand.

“What is it servant?” The princess pondered while making an honest effort to maintain their amicable relations.

“U-um…w-well I…” The blonde-haired girl stammered lamely while she listened to the taller woman snort snidely above her.

“I am a busy woman. I may be…fond of you. Because of that…I am granting you privileges that no other servant will ever taste. I have even been so generous as to allow you to sit beside me. In order to retain these privileges…you’ll have to learn to be silent when I am working. So, spit it out already.” Azula announced while glaring down at her pet with imposing golden eyes.

“S-sumimasen master. B-but I wanted to give you a gift.” Elle admitted as she fiddled with her thumbs while Azula peered down at her with marginally widened eyes.

“…A gift for me?” The princess asked while turning in her throne to glance down at the shy girl with returning fondness in her gaze.

“T-that’s so. I-I wrote you a poem.” The blonde-haired girl confided to the princess’s surprise while fishing in her pocket for a small paper.

Just as held up the wrinkled paper between her nervous fingers while she averted her eyes from her master’s taken aback golden gaze.

Azula found herself bending over to peer down at the offering with her hardened eyes now staring down at the parchment with a flicker of moved emotion in her gaze.

Once again, her servant’s writing was in a compelling foreign print.

‘Another world….’ Azula thought with her regal brows furrowed in contemplation while she recalled the girl’s earlier words.

Before she returned her surprised gaze to her handmaid’s bashful face.

“I am not familiar with this manner of calligraphy. Is this the language that your people write in?” The princess questioned in a cold voice with her strict eyes gazing down at her servant’s abashed countenance.

“T-that’s so Azula-sama.” Elle answered in a soft voice as she avoided gazing into the older woman’s hypnotic golden eyes.

One thing that she noticed ever since she arrived in the Fire Nation was that all text seemed to be written in something similar to Chinese.

And yet somehow, they still spoke the same language.

“I command you to show me how to decipher this language.” The princess ordered in a voice of absolute authority with her domineering eyes gazing down at her pet’s lovely face.

Just as the young girl peered up at her with a small smile on her lips.

“Y-yes master! As you command.” The blonde-haired girl piped in a lovably loyal voice while the princess sat above her with a pleased smirk on her lips.

“In the meantime. You will read it for me.” Azula spoke in a tone of charismatic dominance as she sat back against her throne with her callous eyes masking her curiosity.

“O-okay. Just p-please don’t laugh at me…. I know it’s not the best.” Elle mumbled in a self-conscious voice while her innocent amber eyes peered down at the paper in her hands.

She just couldn’t help herself.

She truly has fallen for this beautiful princess.

“I will do as I please. Such is my right as your master.” The princess stated in an unfathomably harsh voice with her cold eyes gazing down harshly at her serving girl’s nodding face.

Before the teenager swallowed the lump that was in her throat as she anxiously held the poem in her shaky fingers.

“I-it is called my P-Princess.” The blonde-haired girl announced in a lovesick voice with an adorable shade of pink on her youthful cheeks while the princess fell silent over her shoulder.

And then she chewed on her lower lip after she found the will to continue reading.

“M-my p-princess is the most b-beautiful. For there is none other so r-regal. M-my p-princess your fire burns b-blue. T-there is nothing I want more than to s-serve you. M-my princess beside you I wish to s-stay. T-throughout each and every day. I-I feel that this is where I belong. B-beside m-my p-princess so strong.” Elle stuttered in an insecure voice while Azula now sat over her in a speechless silence.

It was all Azula could do to gaze down with a sliver of moved emotion in her ruthless eyes over the little poem that her devoted servant had written for her.

And then she found herself plucking the poem out from between her handmaid’s quivering fingers.

Before she set the poem beside her war documents.

While she turned to gaze back down at her embarrassed serving girl with astonished golden eyes.

She was truly taken aback by the girl’s seeming undying adoration for her.

Not only did her pet paint her by the lakeside.

She has even written her a poem.

“Servant.” The princess spoke in an authoritative voice while she peered down at her self-conscious pet.

“M-master?” The blonde-haired girl answered as she still sat nervously twirling her thumbs.

While the princess found herself unable to fight the fond smirk that crept onto her lips as soon as the tiny girl called her master with such a lovable stutter.

And then she sipped her coffee once more while she casually planted her palm down upon her servant girl’s lovely blonde head.

“That was well written.” Azula commented with her lovely lips curving upward in approval while petting the girl with a possessive hand.

“I-I am overjoyed that you think so…w-would it be inappropriate if I wrote you more?” Elle requested as she sat against the throne with her face as red as a tomato.

“Typically, it is considered improper for a servant to make advances on her master. As it is beneath a princess to accept gifts from a commoner.” The princess remarked aloofly while feeling the small girl sink glumly beneath her hand.

“S-sumimasen Azula-sama…if I have offended you.” The blonde-haired girl murmured in understanding as she clutched at her cup.

She understood that the princess was far above her…

It was just so difficult to resist expressing just how much she adored Princess Azula.

She could only scold herself all the while mulling over that she is fortunate to even have a place beside such a wonderful woman.

“That being said…it is just as inappropriate for a peasant to give her princess a flower. You’ve been breaching laws of common conduct ever since I met you. If I had any issues with it…I can assure you I would have corrected your behavior by now.” Azula announced as she took another drink of her beverage while patting Elle’s stunned head once again.

“I…am glad. Then I will continue to write you more…my princess.” Elle answered in a meaningful voice while a warm smile spread across her lips as she savored the head pat.

The princess peered down at her new companion with hardened golden eyes while silently wondering why this peasant of hers was so loyal.

“Tell me peasant…what is it that you like so much about me?” The princess inquired in a curious voice as she shifted in her seat to glance down at the small girl.

“Uh…” The blonde-haired girl trailed off lamely while gulping with the woman seated above her with a smug smirk on her lovely lips.

“Other than my divine beauty of course.” Azula stated with evident hubris in her voice while waving a hand before her.

“You won’t…make fun of me, will you?” Elle requested shyly while Azula peered down at her with her usual imposing stare.

“Kindness isn’t a trait that I am known for…and yet I have been merciful with you. When I ask you a question…you will answer it. Is that understood servant?” The princess spoke with her spare hand resting on her thigh as she gazed down at the nervous girl.

“Yes, Master Azula.” The blonde-haired girl agreed with a rising smile on her lips while the woman patted her head once more.

That was her princess’s way of letting her know that she won’t mock her.

“Good girl…now that pleases me.” Azula purred in a seductive voice while running her fingernails through her trembling pet’s soft hair.

Even she can’t deny that this girl made for a fine pet.

A lovely little handmaid that worshiped her with every fiber of her being. What’s not to love about that?

“Everything really…there’s…so much that I like about you. But…the of the traits that I admire most…is that you are so fearless.” Elle mumbled with pink twinging her cheeks while Azula glanced down at her in amusement.

“Of course, fear is for the weak.” The princess stated pridefully while puffing out her chest as she continued to toy with her servant’s hair.

“We’re polar opposites…and I think…that’s why I am so drawn to you.” The blonde-haired girl commented while peering up at the seated woman with stunningly peaceful amber eyes.

“Is that it? You admire my strength because you are weak?” Azula questioned curtly while glancing down at the younger girl with unyielding eyes.

“I…don’t fit in with the rest of the world. I’m…not like the rest…you see. But I feel like I belong right here…beside you. It…probably has a lot to do with my mindset.” Elle admitted quietly while staring up at the older girl’s stony countenance.

“Your mindset?” The princess found herself pondering while leaning back upon her throne placing one leg over the other.

Who would have ever thought that she would spend this much time talking with a peasant?

“Ever since I was little, I’ve found myself inevitably drawn to the darkness…I have the ability to empathize with the sort of people that…most people consider immoral…or bad.” The blonde-haired girl answered while sinking into her knees with the older girl glancing down at her with curiosity in her gaze.

“You can empathize with me? You do know that I am not a kind person…don’t you? This…is not how I usually treat people…” Azula remarked while waving her right hand before her yet finding herself intrigued by the girl’s personality all the same.

Perhaps…there is more to this simple peasant girl than she had initially thought.

“I can Azula-sama. It’s as I just told you. I am rather gifted at…understanding things from an angle most would never consider.” Elle spoke softly while peering up at surprised golden eyes.

“I must admit you’ve piqued my interests…tell me more servant.” The princess purred while leaning down over her handmaid’s tiny form.

This was yet another first for her.

No one has ever told her that they could emphasize with her.

“I’ve heard people muttering on the street…I’ve heard people talk about you. Your own citizens…in this very city talk about you.” The blonde-haired girl stated quietly while golden eyes narrowed with faint anger in her stare.

“Oh? Just where are these people?” Azula asked in a glacial voice while glaring down at her petite pet’s still smiling face.

“I…have heard it said that you don’t even care if your own people starve. People in the city…say that you and your father are monsters. Monsters that don’t even care if a child starves from cruel tax rates.” Elle responded while still peering back up at the princess’s thin scowl.

“They are not wrong…I am a monster. Though…I very much doubt that these detractors would ever have the courage to say as such to Father or myself.” The princess declared with her eyes gazing ahead with a callousness to their glint.

Perhaps…it was time to search for traitors in the Capital?

“Yes well…when you wander a cities’ streets for two weeks you tend to hear things. Things that you never would have heard if you were more than a wandering ghost. But I disagree with them.” The blonde-haired girl announced to the woman’s disbelief as she peered up into her master’s eyes.

“You do?” Azula pondered in a calmer voice while finding it baffling that she even cared what this peasant thought of her.

And yet…somehow, she did. She…didn’t want Elle to think less of her.

“I can’t speak for your father. But I don’t think you’re a monster at all! I think that you’re a person…neither good nor bad…a result of your circumstances.” Elle assured as she reached up to grasp at her shocked master’s hovering hand.

The princess sat with her hand being grasped by the smaller girl while letting the words sink in.

“An interesting deduction…but incorrect. Though I do enjoy your naïve little musings…” The princess trailed off with her lovely lips curving into a cold smirk.

“Arigatou gozaimasu Azula-sama! I enjoy your company as well!” The blonde-haired girl cheered up at her master with an expression of warmth in her eyes.

“This isn’t a leisure hangout peasant! You’re my servant. I am your master. Never forget that.” Azula spoke in an unyielding voice while grasping at her pet’s hair with a sterner grip.

“How could I ever forget? I…am so happy to be yours princess. May…we talk for awhile longer?” Elle giggled out softly while Azula’s icy eyes peered down at her grasping at her head.

She blushed once more when the dominant woman compressed her beneath her stern grip as if stating once more that she was hers.

“I will permit it. If only because you’re a well-behaved pet.” The princess sighed while brushing her hair from her eyes.

“Your Highness, may I tell you more about myself?” The blonde-haired girl questioned while beaming up at the ruthless woman’s cold countenance.

“Why not? You must have some riveting peasant tales to tell.” Azula commented dryly while scanning her fingernails with haughtiness in her stare.

"Mhm, you know I once aspired to pursue a career in psychology…either that or become a professional artist. When I got older…I was going to go to college to further my education.” Elle confessed in a softer voice while she glanced up into Azula's taken aback eyes.

That…she did not expect her servant to say.

The girl's desire to become a professional artist did not surprise her.

But her handmaid's interest in psychology on the other hand. That was another matter.

“Is that so? What stopped you? Did you decide that you wanted to serve me even before we even met?” The princess remarked with a strangely at ease voice as she mulled over her servant’s words.

“No. It was all ruined…by one of the only two people that I fear.” The blonde-haired girl replied in a quieter voice while swallowing with evident discomfort in her voice.

"Just two people? Is the second individual me?" Azula questioned with a guarded voice while glaring down at the smaller girl once more.

"No, I do not fear you Azula-sama. Nor do I fear your father, Naoki or even Rieko. Four people with superhuman ability that could kill me with ease…from different worlds and yet I can speak to three of four without trembling. It's…ironic really." Elle explained while the princess quirked a brow over the two mysterious names…but mused that which is an entire world away is none of her concern.

And then without speaking she removed her hand from the girl's head and hovered it methodically in the air with a light flame that began to generate on her fingertips.

"I should burn you just for saying those words. Then peasant…we'll see how fearless you truly are…" Azula hissed as she trailed her fingers inches above the girl's hair with fire burning at her fingertips.

Yet even with her fire coated palm hovered above Elle's head she found herself surprised by the handmaid's lack of fear.

Any other servant would have been pleading not to be burned by now.

"The man that I fear most…is much more frightening than anyone else. He…possesses no superhuman ability to speak of. He's not an assassin…and he's not royalty. He's…a man of average height…he wears glasses. His…hair is blond…and his smile…" The blonde-haired girl trailed off while staring down at her feet with evident discomfort in her stare.

“How terrifying…and for a moment there I thought that you were onto something.” The princess snorted while rolling her elegant eyes down at her trembling servant.

Though it was clear that this man did something to her servant to leave such a long-lasting impression.

Even with her bending burning above Elle’s head she was shaking not out of fear of being burned.

But…out of fear of this man!

“I grew up with him. After my mother died…when I was little…and then soon after…Father. He became my legal guardian.” Elle explained while trembling ever so faintly even when the woman’s bending was extinguished.

“So, you were abused by an adoptive parent?” Azula questioned as she frowned while pondering why she even cared if the girl was abused.

She’s just a servant…and nothing more.

“H-he used to hold me over a cage of beasts…if I fell, they would have eaten me. But he would smile and taunt me all the same. A-and he would never stop until I cried.” The blonde-haired girl announced with a noticeably glummer voice with the princess gazing down in surprise.

Suffice to say Azula was not expecting abuse…that graphic.

Yet once again…she couldn’t help but feel a twinge of concern for her doting servant.

“Ugh. Quit your cowering peasant. This man is not present with you. I am.” The princess declared in a stony voice while frowning down at her shaking pet.

“B-but Azula-sama. He…tried to take my clothes off…” Elle whimpered while averting her frightened eyes from her master’s harsh gaze.

For reasons that Azula could not explain her eyes were shimmering with a margin of anger as she reclined in her throne with her lips pursed in a thin line.

Perhaps it was because she has taken an interest in the younger girl or maybe it was because she has already claimed the peasant as hers.

The girl was her property…and it did not please her to hear that this man tried to touch what was hers.

‘Even if the girl should prove to be of no interest to me romantically…she is still mine. Even if she is but a kitchen handmaid…this girl belongs to me.’ Azula thought with her golden eyes narrowing into an imposing death stare.

“Did…he…” The princess trailed off while finding herself strangely watching her tone of voice as she glanced down at the trembling girl.

“N-no. I tried to stab him. He…wouldn’t get off of me so I tried to put a knife in his neck.” The blonde-haired girl stuttered with a tear streaming down her cheek.

All the while the princess listened…finding herself strangely hesitant to speak.

Azula glanced down at the smaller girl with a thoughtful countenance finding herself rather surprised by the girl’s admission.

If she were being honest…Elle didn’t seem like the sort of person to have it in her to harm someone.

Perhaps…that is yet another peculiar thing about this girl that has drawn her interest?

“Sumimasen…p-princess. I’ll shut up now.” Elle muttered while Azula glanced down at her rolling her eyes.

“Servant…you don’t have the right to make your own decisions. You gave that up the moment you knelt before me.” The princess remarked casually while taking another drink of her coffee.

To her puzzlement, the small blonde glanced up at her briefly sniffling with a bit more cheer than before.

It was odd to Azula…to see someone so happy to be in her presence.

“T-that’s so. I defer to Azula-sama’s will.” The blonde-haired girl responded while peering up at the older girl with loyal amber eyes.

“Hm. In that we are in agreement. Now…I am being generous enough to listen to your…blubbering. The least you could do is refrain from it consuming my entire morning.” Azula announced while turning to peer down at her seated servant.

“As you say Azula-sama. My…attempt was poorly executed…he was mostly unharmed. I…locked him in my bedroom and got out. He…is the only person that I’ve ever tried to harm.” Elle spoke as she peered back down at her knees with a frown still adorning her lips.

“Well then, it’s a good thing that you aren’t my bodyguard.” The princess snorted snidely while staring down at the girl with cold golden eyes.

“We truly are opposites…you see. I don’t believe in violence. I suppose you could say that I am a pacifist. I…don’t ever want to harm another person…or any living creature. I try to believe…that one day people will get along with one another…instead of butchering each other.” The blonde-haired girl confided while chewing on her lip as she listened to the woman laugh derisively.

“A pacifist? You are even more naïve than I first thought you to be.” Azula sneered while still peering down at the blonde’s huddled form with grudgingly intrigued eyes.

“I know. But that’s just how I am. I…try to see the best in people. Even…the darkest sorts of people.” Elle answered while gazing over her shoulder at her princess’s looming throne.

“Is that it? You think that there is…good in me…but not this man?” The princess replied while holding her mug with her stony face never leaving the tiny girl’s face.

“Yes…he is a wretched man devoid of any redeeming qualities. He exists…solely to derive pleasure off of other’s fear.” The blonde-haired girl said while her master quirked a brow in amusement.

“Really? It sounds like me and him may have a good deal in common.” Azula commented while smirking as she watched her servant shiver in evident fear.

That will teach her to say that she doesn’t fear her.

“No…Your Highness…no you do not. He…is a perverse predator of the worst sort.” Elle stated as she clutched at her cup.

“Oh, there’s more than one kind?” The princess asked aloofly while gazing between her handmaid and her paperwork.

“Felix…likes them young. Very young. He…used to invite little kid’s out to the family house…just to make them cry. Usually…he would tell them that their parents have abandoned them. I…once saw him wipe the tears from a little boy’s face…and then…he tasted it.” The blonde-haired girl explained to the woman’s further surprise.

The man was perhaps more twisted than Azula first thought…

“Licking tears? That’s highly unhygienic. As if I would ever lick the faces of dirty peasants.” Azula scoffed with her nose wrinkling in a margin of repugnance.

“I…had acquired funds to pursue my dream. But…he stripped me of all access to my education when I started telling people what he was…doing to the little boy’s and girl’s.” Elle spoke while taking a nervous drink of her beverage.

“And what then?” The princess pondered in a stoic tone while finding herself somewhat taken aback by the girl’s experiences.

“I…ran away on that very night. And then somehow…I found myself in the Fire Nation.” The blonde-haired girl told her master while swallowing her drink.

“I see. I must say that was quite the intriguing little tale. More than I expected…anyhow.” Azula remarked while resting her face in the palm of her hand.

“That man…is my brother…my brother Felix.” Elle admitted in a trembling voice at long last with tears trailing down her cheeks while the princess’s golden eyes widened in surprise.

Even a person as frigid as Azula knew that it was disgusting for a brother to try to take his sister’s virginity.

Azula wasn’t certain why she even bothered to do so.

But…

“Servant. I command you to look up at me.” The princess commanded while leaning over her throne to peer down at the cowering girl.

“I-if Her Highness says look up. I look up.” The blonde-haired girl stuttered while turning to peer up at her princess’s towering form.

For some inexplicable reason Azula found herself greatly pleased by Elle’s devoted response.

“That’s a good girl…now I want you to calm down.” Azula cooed in a soothingly charismatic voice as she shifted her bottom upon her throne while possessively grasping ahold of the girl’s chin.

“Yes princess…this girl obeys.” Elle mumbled as she sunk to her knees before her master’s seated form with her controlling hand forcing her to peer upward.

‘Playing the kind master with this girl does get a bit tedious …yet I cannot deny that I enjoy the girl’s worshipful behavior…I suppose I’ll just play along…’ The princess mused before shrugging as she grasped at her pet’s fragile face.

“No more waterworks. Is that understood servant?” Azula declared in a domineering voice while staring down at the bowing peasant.

“Wakarimashita…Azula-sama.” The blonde-haired girl agreed while falling forward with her face pressed into the older girl’s knee.

Then her heart began to speed up when she felt fingers dance through her hair.

“Good. You’re a needy little peasant…consider yourself fortunate that I have taking a liking to you.” The princess sighed while petting the smaller girl’s head as she savored the girl’s kitten like behavior.

“Azula-sama…may I make a request of you?” Elle pondered with her head inclined in a show of respect for her princess.

She didn’t even dare to look the woman in the eyes.

She knew that it was only proper to bow her head when asking anything of her master.

“Ordinarily…it is considered impetuous for a peasant to make a request of her princess.” Azula replied while finding her lips curving into a gratified smile as she enjoyed how Elle melted beneath her palm.

“Sumimasen…Your Highness.” The blonde-haired girl murmured while lowering her eyes to peer down at the woman’s elegant boots.

“But I am feeling charitable…so out with it.” The princess stated while waving a hand before her as she smirked down at her prostrated pet.

“W-would you…would you protect your loyal servant…if s-someone tries to take her shirt off?” Elle requested timidly while Azula glanced down at her with marginally widening eyes.

Though as always Azula was fast to recover instead gazing down at the younger girl with a domineering stare.

“If any other servant were to be so brazen as to ask for my protection…I would burn them in retaliation…” Azula trailed off in a contemplative voice while furrowing her brows down at Elle’s kneeling form.

The small blonde said nothing as she felt her breathe hitch when the divine woman grasped roughly at the back of her head.

Then she was forced to gaze upward once again while a twinge of redness shot down her cheeks as she shivered under Azula’s piercing gaze.

“But you belong to me…you are mine. Do you understand? If anyone should be so foolish as to touch what belongs to me…I would destroy them without hesitation.” The princess announced while glaring down at her quivering handmaid with a possessive countenance.

It was strange…but has decided that this handmaid is hers and hers alone.

She will serve only her.

She will give flowers to no one but herself.

She will write poems for only her princess.

And she will paint no one. No one but her master.

She is hers and hers alone.

“A-arigatou gozaimasu Azula-sama.” The blonde-haired girl whispered happily while she began to peer up at her master with a rising smile.

“Just…keep up the good behavior…do not displease me.” Azula grumbled with her lips pursed into a scowl as she held onto her handmaid’s little head.

“I…would never. You know…I think I finally have my answer…I know what it is that I like most about you.” Elle spoke gently while still gazing up at Azula’s frowning face.

“Hm? Tell me.” The princess demanded while leaning forward as she loomed over her small handmaid.

Somehow…she was eager to hear just what it was that had this peasant so lovestruck by her presence alone.

“All of my life I have been afraid…afraid of my own brother. You…you are so bold…so mighty. You…y-you give me courage Azula-sama. Y-you inspire me.” The blonde-haired girl confessed in a heartfelt voice while staring up into taken aback golden eyes.

Even a woman as cruel as Azula…couldn’t deny that she felt a twinge of moved emotion somewhere deep down inside of her.

It was yet another first…of many from this bizarre girl known as Elle.

Someone…was inspired by her.

Someone…innocent.

“I see…you find comfort in my superior strength. Well…you are a feeble little girl. I suppose that makes sense. If standing in my shadow makes you feel better…then so be it.” Azula answered as she set her empty coffee mug down upon her desk before turning to meet her servant’s smiling face.

“This is where I belong! With Azula-sama!” Elle cheered with a widening grin on her lips as she beamed up at her master’s reclining visage.

“On that we can also agree.” The princess purred while petting her handmaid’s hair with long fingers that conveyed who owned the girl.

“Oh…p-princess…” The blonde-haired girl murmured while flushing shyly as the strong palm patted her head dominantly.

That was when a loud growling sound reverberated through the air as both females suddenly found themselves peering at the princess’s stomach in response.

Elle knew her place by gaze alone when Azula’s eyes shifted down to her with her eyes already conveying her desire.

It was her place to satisfy Azula’s each and every desire.

“Servant! I am hungry!” Azula barked with sadistic delight in her voice as she watched the girl scramble to stand as fast as possible.

If she didn’t know any better her pet was already starting to stand before she even opened her mouth.

“Yes, Master Azula! How may I please you?” Elle exclaimed as she leaped to her feet before bowing at the waist while her master stared back at her in approval.

“Go fetch me a suitable breakfast. Bring it back here within…oh thirty minutes. If you are late…I will punish you.” The princess explained with a smirk adorning her refined lips.

“Yes! I will not be late! Her Highness’s belly must be nourished!” The blonde-haired girl cried out with a genuine cheer while the woman gazed at her with entertained eyes.

“Indeed, it must. It pleases me that you see things my way.” Azula stated sternly while leaning back upon her plush throne before staring on curiously when her pet reached into her robe pocket.

“Is…there any particular beverage that Her Highness desires?” Elle asked with an attentive demeanor as she withdrew a small pen and book much to her master’s satisfaction.

“Are you recording my likes and dislikes?” The princess questioned with smugness lacing her voice while her servant clutched at the book with an adorable bashfulness about her.

“I-it is so.” The blonde-haired girl mumbled with redness traveling down her heated face.

“What a splendid little pet you are.” Azula purred while nodding in approval as she watched her handmaid bow rapidly much to her pleasure.

“This girl is happy that you think so princess.” Elle replied shyly with her arm held out before her as she smiled softly.

“I would like orange juice…” The princess remarked lazily with her face in the palm of her hand.

“Orange juice. Understood.” The blonde-haired girl muttered while opening her eyes as she recorded the note while humming joyfully.

“…And if you can keep it to yourself…you may bring yourself back a plate as well.” Azula commanded while peering at her servant with a stony countenance.

“I-I get to have breakfast with you princess?” Elle inquired in an awestruck voice while Azula glanced back at her rolling her eyes in the manner she has come to savor.

“I just said as much. Did I not? Now get going. I am dreadfully hungry.” The princess spoke while adjusting herself in her seat as her belly growled once more.

“As you command Azula-sama! I will see the mission through no matter the cost!” The blonde-haired girl shouted while saluting the woman’s callous form before turning to rush out.

“Oh, and I almost forgot…I will tolerate this…behavior when we are in private. But at any other time…this will not be acceptable.” Azula called out with her hand resting in her lap as she gazed at the girl’s back.

“Yes princess, this servant understands.” Elle agreed while turning to bow once more with golden eyes lazily peering back at her.

“Good. And you keep your little…writings between us. My father would not approve.” The princess declared while reaching down to collect the poem with a cold gleam in her eyes.

“Between me and Her Highness only.” The blonde-haired girl repeated with her back bent as she nodded her head in understanding.

Then her ears picked up a third and final rumbling of the woman’s belly before she rapidly straightened already sensing the dominant woman’s demanding eyes upon her.

“The timer starts…now.” Azula informed while glancing at her clock before turning to her handmaid as she smugly observed the small girl speed out the door.

“I promise that I will not be late Azula-sama. I shall return to your side promptly.” Elle assured while turning to respectfully bow a final time.

Then she closed the door behind her while Azula sat with the poem curled up within her palm.

Now that she was alone, she unraveled the poem while she gazed down at the contents with unnaturally moved golden eyes.

While she found herself having great difficulty fighting the blush that arose onto her regal cheeks as she recalled her little servant’s heartfelt words.

Then without further delay she slid the paper into her pocket while sinking back upon her backside as she sighed once more.

‘Father cannot hear of this…if he does…’ The princess thought as her lips curved into another frown.

She has no doubt that he would send the girl to the Boiling Rock.

Yet most puzzling of all…

Why did such a thought bother her?

Azula was not certain…

But it was how she felt all the same.

#Azula #azula fanfiction #avatar the last airbender fanfiction #yuri #ty lee avatar #mai avatar #slow romance #fire nation

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paperstorm · 6 years ago

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soooo your thoughts on endgame?

[spoilers ahead]

I have very conflicting thoughts as I’m sure you can imagine lol. 95% of it was utterly fantastic. Such a fun and exciting and intense end to the story they’ve been telling for 10 years. Most of it was SO good. Steve being able to summon the hammer was insane, my theatre screamed its head off when that happened. His perfectly growled “Avengers!!! …assemble” was just. That moment made my whole entire life. Still riding on that high. Obviously I’m so happy they got everyone back. The “On your left” from Sam UGH. MY HEART. I am SO happy he gave the shield to Sam. There’s been debate for a year over whether it would go to Sam or Bucky and I always hoped it would be Sam. Bucky deserves to rest. He is still healing from incredible trauma and trying to figure out where he fits in this world, he doesn’t need that pressure on his shoulders on top of everything else. Sam as Cap is utterly perfect.

So many funny moments, Scott Lang is a gift that we do not deserve, he absolutely killed me. Bruce too, omg he was so funny in this one, give Mark Ruffalo all the comedic roles from here on out he has FANTASTIC comedic timing. Natasha. Ugh. My heart will never be healed from that one. I didn’t see her death coming at all until they got to Vormir and I remembered the soul stone requires a sacrifice and my heart just sunk because of course she wouldn’t let it be Clint, not when he has kids to get back to that she loves like they’re her own. Her death was so intense and tragic (and is there grievance to be had for the fact that they killed the first female superhero so she could further the redemption arc of a male character who has always been a less important character than her?? Absolutely. That is a valid criticism and one that I fully agree with, but, some things we just have to make our peace with).

Tony. Didn’t see that one coming either, and although I’m so sad, it was perfect. Tony Stark started this story, it was so fitting that he ended it. The genre of super hero movies changed forever the minute he uttered “I am Iron Man” in the first movie, so it was beautiful writing that they had it be the words he repeated as he sacrificed himself to save the world. Absolutely heartbreaking and perfect.

I have issues with what they did with Thor, as I know lots of people do. He was hilarious, as he always is. And he was a hero at the end, as he also always is. Making a punch-line out of his trauma, was not the most enlightened place they could have gone to with his character. I have mixed feelings about it.

The Battle of New York thing honestly is one of the best scenes in the entire MCU in my opinion. It’s up there with the elevator scene and the bridge fight from Winter Soldier in terms of perfect execution. And so damn creative, the way they integrated this new plot into that old one. Whoever wrote that part gets endless props from me, that was SO clever. And I mean … Steve knocking his past self out, checking out his own ass, “That IS America’s ass”, fucking hysterical. Also give Chris all the comedic roles in the future. That and “I can do this all day!” “Yeahhh I know.” He delivered those lines so perfectly.

(this got longer than I expected is anyone still reading lmao)

So, Steve. Obviously no one will be shocked that the ending is among the 5% of the movie that I didn’t like. I’m not even going to bother going into heavy detail about exactly why, because we all know why. Other people have articulated it better than I could anyway. It was out of character. It was not a choice that the Steve Rogers from the other 6 movies would have made, to the point that imo it borders on being canon divergent. You would really have to throw the entire Cap trilogy in the garbage for his decision to make any sense whatsoever. The Steve Rogers we know would not have fought and fought and fought to get his family back, only to ditch them three days later to go live out a fantasy that he himself admitted (in Age of Ultron) that he didn’t really want anymore. He would not have chosen Bucky time and time again even when it meant giving up EVERYTHING else, just to leave him alone the second he finally got him back. Its not even about Stucky, from a purely platonic standpoint he wouldn’t have done that. It made no narrative or thematic sense. Chris Evans and Steve Rogers both deserved better than that ending. SO, I’ve honestly just head!canoned it out, lol. The Steve of the Cap trilogy and the Steve of the last three minutes of Endgame can’t both exist at the same time because they are in direct opposition to each other, so they don’t. In my mind, Endgame’s ending is not canon. And that probably makes no sense to anyone else but it makes sense to me, so that’s what I’m going with.

All in all I fucking loved it. The time travel stuff was not very well explained and there are a bunch of plot holes, and a bunch of places where they didn’t follow their own time travel rules lmao (sooo many of those have been pointed out and I just have to laugh. The Avengers movies are honestly more enjoyable if you don’t spend too much time thinking about them). It was still a fantastic, epic, gorgeous end to an incredible story and a magical decade, and I can pretty easily scrub away the ending and create my own better ending. I’m good with it.

As a last thought, Chris. Chris motherfucking Evans, guys. Can we just. I want to send him endless thank you cards and fruit baskets. This wonderful, beautiful man took on this HUGE, important, wildly intimidating role, knowing it would be hard and terrifying and so much pressure, having a lot of anxiety about it but having the courage to do it anyway. No other actor could have brought Steve to life quite like he did. No other actor could have embodied the spirit of Steve so perfectly. Steve Rogers is such an amazing, amazing character, originally created for such incredibly powerful reasons, and god we just owe Chris so much for giving us Steve in the way he did. I’m gonna be in my feelings about THAT for the rest of my dumb life. Steve Rogers in the way Chris portrayed him is absolutely worthy of wielding the Mjolnir. I hope he goes to sleep every night for the rest of his life super proud of himself, because he deserves it. The heavy lifting he got to do in Endgame was fully earned and deserved, and Steve’s scenes were definitely the best parts.

If RDJ is the face of the MCU, Chris Evans is the heart. He gave us the absolute most incredible portrayal of Steve Rogers we ever could have hoped for.

#anon asks #avengers endgame spoilers #andie rambles for like 27 minutes WHY do people ask my opinions on things don't you know i have no ability to shut the hell up

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sometimesrosy · 6 years ago

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You really think they’re going to go back to earth?? I mean, I could see Bellamy and Clarke landing at the dropship site all ready to rebuild humanity with radioactive playing softly in the background, fade to black. But I can also see them really leaving earth in book one.

It is, of course, only a speculation. I don’t know. I recognize that I am leaping ahead of canon evidence to make that speculation, but then, I have done that before and been correct. I guessed, from out of nowhere that cryo sleep would be a solution, but my guess came too early. I guessed that for the COL they would save everyone instead of losing everyone like MW, because that’s the kind of twist that would keep an audience on it’s toes. Once i accepted the time jump and clarke left behind, I guessed that she would become a mother, although I said it woud be bellamy’s child. So i got the motherhood right but not the shipping spec. When you spec on this show based on shipping it’s almost never right, that’s not how they make their narrative choices. I guessed that s5 would end with Bellamy and Clarke would lose the war for Eden (McCreary cheated) and take their people who stopped fighting into the wastes for an exodus. As the season went on it became probable that the exodus would be in the stars instead of on earth. So like, these big conceptual stories? I’m picking up on. I think it’s because I speak the same language as JR, 90s scifi geek who went to college to study writing. We have the same references in our heads. Once I started LOOKING for his symbolism and allusions and archetypes, the whole show fell into place and made a lot of sense to me. This show is NOT random. He’s not changing the story to please fandom or to hurt them (except in cases where he can WORK with the changes.)

I’m not intending to brag, I’m intending to show you that although my spec seems like it comes out of left field and there’s no basis for it, the basis actually comes with the TYPE of story he’s telling and the common language in the GENRE. Like, I started picking up on his symbolism in s3, but if I didn’t keep getting confirmation that I was right with the themes and archetypes and symbolism and allusions, I would have changed my theories. But I keep getting confirmation that I’m on the right track. JR is going down a familiar path for me. So I’m trying to find the street signs and show them to you so you can follow the path too.

So WHY did I come up with this wacky theory about Clarke and Bellamy returning to earth? HOW? It didn’t happen until s5 was over and I started getting asks and started reading/watching those references he told us about and started thinking how all the storylines converge.

long and involved, so, below the cut.

Snarky foreshadowing– This was when I first went, wait, what? Raven, when she flew the last ship off of earth said, “Just once I’d like to take off from a planet while it wasn’t burning.” TWICE she’s done that. Third time’s the charm. They’ve been fixing the traumas, I think we’ll get this one again too, only this time the planet won’t be burning. They’ve got ONE planet left. The new one. Therefore, they will be leaving the planet and it won’t be burning. But WHY would they leave the planet when it’s not burning? Then I had to find a REASON for them leaving the safe haven planet.

History repeats itself– This story is about how pre-apocalypse humans were ruining the world. Becca is the real wanheda. She, her creation, eradicated humanity. That’s the genocide. She started the harshness of the Ark because of her madness. She started the harshness of the grounders as Pramheda. She came back and we saw her trying to fix what she’d done. She ALSO had to do with the eligius program and invented their nightbood. THEREFORE, the new planet colony is a descendent of Becca’s original crimes against humanity. Was it all an accident? Sure? But also it was the result of her choices, her hubris, her genius. She is Doctor Frankenstein. (Actually I just made that connection and I feel stupid for missing it. Does it work? Anyone see it also?)

You are responsible for your monster when you let it out– Lincoln’s words. VERY IMPORTANT. This makes EVERYTHING in the story make sense. If people don’t take responsibility for their evil, they are the monster. If people TRY to take responsibiilty for their evil, they are the hero. That’s why leaders sacrificing others is not a sacrifice, they aren’t taking responsibility they are using people. But Clarke or Bellamy risking their lives to fix their mistakes IS heroic. It’s not always smart, but that’s the good guy move. hero/monster has been a theme since s1.

The structure of the story is a spiral– They are returning to their greatest traumas and FIXING them. Making the right choice this time. Teaching others to make the right choice, learning from their mistakes instead of doubling down on their evil actions in order to make it worth it, like Octavia all season 5. Or Lxa in s2. Or Jaha the whole show. Or Cage Wallace. Redemption comes through recognizing your monster and DOING BETTER. Redemption is a MAJOR theme of post-apocalyptic stories.

Eligius 3 are Colonialists, NOT refugees– Monty said that they went to the new planet to USE the resources because the resources of the earth were used up. They aren’t looking for a home, they’re looking for another planet to consume. THIS IS WHAT STARTED THE ORIGINAL FALL OF HUMANITY. They reflect the values of Mount Weather who believed the earth was their birthright and treated the people on the surface as cattle to be used and tortured. This is a repeat of the MW conflict.

Eligius 3=Mount Weather– that means we’ll be getting a redo of the biggest and most traumatic “failure” that Clarke and Bellamy had. Except, it never really was a failure. It was the RIGHT thing to do. It happened also to be best for their people, but it was GOOD, even though it caused harm to some innocent people, because as Maya said, none of them were innocent. They were the disease. Clarke (med student, remember?) had to KILL the mountain to put it out of its suffering (like Atom) and to save the rest of humanity. This means that Eligius 3 will ALSO be the disease. They ARE the disease that caused the apocalypse.

JRs reading/viewing list: all about the aliens– Weird non linear, non reality hybrids of alien and human. Consciousness. AI. Philosophy. Religion. I have not gotten to see ALL of the films or read the books, but I’ve researched them all a bit and they share themes. Also Avatar (blue not airbender) And I believe that we’ll have a non-humanoid kind of alien that bonds with the humans to create something new (also if you’ve ever read Ender’s Game which JR certainly did, it actually moves on to tell the story of Ender as Speaker for the dead, and his psychic connection, facilitated by an AI in his head [JANE!] who brings back the dead species and allows another very odd species to be recognized as sentient. HOLY CRAP Madi is the speaker for the dead. omg i just realized!

If humanity is to be redeemed, they have to be responsible for their monster – They have broken the cycle of violence amongst themselves. They encounter a society that will be JUST as poisoned as the pre-apocalypse society that started this all. Russell’s people will BE the monster. Their enemy (the aliens who are NOT their people) will be the victims. To be the good guy, they will have to CHOOSE their enemy over their people. Lincoln did it. Maya did it. They were The Good Guys. Clarke and Bellamy will have to end Russell’s people. In doing so, they will replay the MW trauma, but this time they will understand WHY it had to happen and will heal the trauma of the past, because they are HEALING humanity.

If humanity is to be redeemed, they must FIX what they have broken, that is The Earth itself– They can’t drop Earth when it’s no longer providing for them and move onto another planet that they can use up. If you look at The 100 in terms of environmentalism, which you can, you can see this would make them the bad guys. To be the good guys, they have to go back to what they did and start over. This fits the spiral structure, as well as being the Good Guy and being responsible for your monster.

They aren’t going to discard the earth, or humanity– Why? Because they wouldn’t let Octavia martyr herself. She represents humanity. She will now be forced to WORK to redeem herself and fix what she did. So will humanity. They do not OWN the Earth, the Earth owns them and they are the caretakers. Octavia needs to go back to earth and treat it like her responsibility, not her property. She needs to follow what Lincoln believed. The attempted martyrdom was a reference to Lincoln. But she was cheating. She can’t cheat redemption.

THEY CAN’T CHEAT REDEMPTION: THEY HAVE TO GO BACK TO EARTH. In real life, none of this would have to happen, but this is not real life. This is JR with a story he wants to tell. The story is about the redemption of humanity and two mythic heroes who save humanity, not by keeping them from dying, but by leading them to redemption. THIS IS EPIC.

When I started thinking about all these thematic questions, I saw that it started to form into a narrative, and many of the characters had roles to play within this narrative, some more than others. When I looked at those characters and their relationships, it completely connected to the long game stories of the relationships of the delinquents and the storylines that are actively being told and have been left open at the end of season 5.

This theory slots the character arcs into the themes of the show as a whole AND the new main plot story of aliens, new planet, russell’s “peaceful” (yeah sure) society, bellamy and clarke’s commitment to be the good guy.

So yeah. I see them leaving the new planet to take responsibility for the planet humanity killed, destroying russel’s peaceful society so they can’t destroy the new planet, and leaving Madi behind (she is special) as the steward for the new people.

Because of the ORIGINAL foreshadowing that brought on this spec, Raven wishing to take off of a planet that isn’t burning, we know that they won’t destroy the new planet. They will save it. And leave it. In order to redeem humanity.

leaving madi and echo behind with the aliens is not necessary for this redemption plot, but it fits the youth shall inherit the earth generational story and reflects Abby’s struggle with letting go of Clarke, and also Echo’s story of belonging and family and loyalty, and with her stated backstory. You see how this theory connects the larger themes to the character arcs? it just makes sense to me. It isn’t convoluted to me. It is a direct if this, then that, kind of logic. It’s just that it is bringing together MANY past concepts and lessons to save humanity. I don’t know if it sounds convoluted to other people, so if it does, ask me question and we can see if i can get it any clearer.

I can tell the entire story now, with places for the main characters dealing with their personal stories. And it all fits. It’s CRAZY but I’m so excited about it, I can’t wait to see if I’m on the right track. Because if I am it is going to be SO GOOD. Like REALLY. Like miraculous. And everyone who ever hated on this show is going to have to eat their words. Just. I mean. WOW.

And all the characters people think were discarded and deserved better? They all have an important place, too. Wells has the vision for a life well lived. Lincoln’s idea of being responsible for your monster. Lxa’s power will actually be related to how they can save the new people (the flame), Maya’s conviction that she needed to stop her people because they were doing the wrong thing. Jasper’s belief that the problem WAS humanity and it might not be worth saving. Luna’s desire for peace. HOLY SHIT.

#the 100 #the 100 speculation #speculation #return to earth theory #aliens theory #i'm not really interested in 'no it's not' commentary because no one can KNOW if it's not because it's a spec #but i am interested in questions about how it would work or things i haven't considered or haven't seen #even if those things seem to oppose this spec #if something disproves it i'd like to know and see if i can fit it into the spec

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marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer · 6 years ago

Text

MTVS Epic Rewatch #210

BTVS 7x22 Chosen

Stray Thoughts

You know what? I don’t think I am, Buffy.

1) You know the baddy’s fate is sealed when they dare call Buffy a bitch, right?

2) Watching Buffy ax Caleb right in the balls and then make puns about it fills me with infinite joy.

3) I think you all know by now I’m not a Bangel shipper, so I wonder how Angel shippers feel about Buffy and Angel’s last on-screen conversation being about Spike. Doesn’t it feel a bit like a wasted opportunity? It’s not really OOC for Angel to act jealous and possessive (even though in the universe of the show he’s spent the last two years approximately being in love with Cordelia, so why does he think he has any right to question Buffy’s love life? Anyway, I know that’s the writers' fault – how they always blatantly ignored whatever was happening in each show for the shippy crossover moment – but the end result is that Angel looks like a two-timing asshole who can’t make up his mind about what or who he wants.) But like, the world is ending, this is what you want your last conversation to be…?

He is. He is a 200+ years old man-child-pire.

5) The cookie dough speech, though? One of my favorite speeches in the show…

I'm cookie dough. I'm not done baking. I'm not finished becoming whoever the hell it is I'm gonna turn out to be. I make it through this, and the next thing, and the next thing, and maybe one day I turn around and realize I'm ready. I'm cookies. And then, you know, if I want someone to eat… or enjoy warm, delicious cookie me, then...that's fine. That'll be then. When I'm done.

I think it’s one of the finest messages the show delivered, and it’s especially important coming from Buffy herself, someone who was seldom not in a relationship.

6) Callback #1…

This parallels both Angel’s first appearance in the show in Welcome to the Hellmouth as well as his exit from the show in Graduation Day Part 2.

7) Oh, Xander…

8) Of course, the shipping wars wouldn’t be complete without Spuffy talking about Angel. Guh.

9) Iconic!

You know, one of these days I'm just gonna put you two in a room and let you wrestle it out. There could be oil of some kind involved.

One can only dream!

10) This gives me a lot of feels… It’s such a small gesture but it means she finally trusts him.

11) You see what I mean when I say the First was fucking idiotic? Always giving Buffy the precise information she needed in order to defeat it? I mean…

None of those girlies will ever know real power unless you're dead. You know the drill: Into every generation, a slayer is born. One girl in all the world. She alone will have the strength and skill to— There's that word again. What you are. How you'll die. Alone. Where's your snappy comeback?

Like, seriously, do you even want to destroy the world? You’re not trying real hard!

12) Yeah, you fucking are!

13) See? Cut to the next morning, Buffy is telling the others her plans, inspired by none other than the First itself! I don’t think she would’ve thought of it if he hadn’t mentioned the fact that they needed the potentials to have real power, the power of a slayer.

14) Sweet, innocent Dawnie!

WILLOW This goes beyond anything I've ever done. It's a total loss of control, and not in a nice, wholesome, my girlfriend has a pierced tongue kind of way.

BUFFY I wouldn't ask if I didn't think you could do it.

WILLOW I—I'm not sure that I'm stable enough.

GILES You can do this, Willow. We'll get the coven on the line, and we'll find out how they can help.

DAWN Oh! "Pierced tongue."

15) This line always gives me chills!

16) Although their conversation is cute…

ROBIN Faith—Make me a deal, all right? We live through this, you give me the chance to surprise you.

FAITH What would be the surprise?

ROBIN You do know the meaning of the word, right?

I really don’t see the point in spending precious minutes of a finale on these two. If we needed Faith to get closure with anyone, that was Buffy.

17) I don’t actually hate Kennedy on this episode. Wow. I never thought I’d say that.

18) How the mighty have fallen…

Although I think I missed the part where he was a “highly respected watcher”...

19) And then this scene…

I’ve talked about it before, so I’m going to leave you the link in case your interested to know what I make of it as a Spuffy shipper.

20) Oh, Anya…

ANYA So that leaves me and the dungeon master in the north hall?

ANDREW We will defend it with our very lives.

ANYA Yes, we will defend it with his very life.

XANDER And don't be afraid to use him as a human shield.

ANYA Good, yes, thanks!

21) aNDREW HAD A FUCKING SPEECH PREPARED, I CAN’T!

22) Now, this is what this season should’ve been about…

23) And callback #2…

24) Ok, this is one my greatest movie/tv pet peeves. Why would anyone cut their hands? I get it, you need blood or whatever. I can think of 10 parts of your body you could get it from which wouldn’t be as inconvenient as your hand. Like, how do they continue doing things with a fucking open wound on the palm of their hands? It doesn’t make any sense! And it’s always the fucking hand! WHY!?

25) This is probably the scariest shot in the show, isn’t it? (even if the CGI wasn’t that great…)

26) Oh, man, this speech still gives me chills!

BUFFY So here's the part where you make a choice: What if you could have that power... now? In every generation, one slayer is born... because a bunch of men who died thousands of years ago made up that rule. They were powerful men. This woman is more powerful than all of them combined. So I say we change the rule. I say my power... should be our power. Tomorrow, Willow will use the essence of the scythe to change our destiny. From now on, every girl in the world who might be a slayer... will be a slayer. Every girl who could have the power... will have the power... can stand up, will stand up. Slayers... every one of us. Make your choice. Are you ready to be strong?

I love it. I do. It is an empowering moment, it’s Buffy and the slayers breaking free from the Council, taking back the power that was imposed onto them, choosing that power.

The irony is not lost on me, however, that Buffy is making the choice for – and therefore removing the agency of – every single potential slayer who is not in that room. She did ask the ones living with her, but what about the rest? What if they don’t want that power and its responsibility?

In spite of this, it still holds up as one of the greatest moments in the show.

Side note: I read somewhere (or saw an interview?) about how this speech was much longer, and how SMG delivered the whole speech in its entirety without making any mistakes, and when she ended everyone was so in awe at what she’d done as an actress that they started clapping. She is a great actress, isn’t she?

27) And our Willow has come full circle, hasn’t she?

28) Iconic shot!

29) Bless you, Anya!!

30) …

R.I.P. Anyanka Emanuella Jenkins, former vengeance demon, self-appointed American and defender of capitalism, arch-nemesis of bunnies, hater of subtleties, teller of truths.

I know the way Anya went pissed off a lot of people, especially because it’s almost a blink-and-you-missed-it moment. I do, however, feel that someone had to die in this way. Someone important, I mean. Not every main character death in the show could have a big preamble and a huge aftermath. Sometimes you see death coming, but other times, it happens in an instant and it’s done. That’s especially true in big battles like the one in this episode. There is no time to stop and mourn because if you do, you might end up on the dead pile yourself.

We see later how the only ones concerned about Anya are Xander and Andrew. That makes sense, too, in my opinion. Anya was never a true member of the Scooby gang. She was merely there because of Xander. I’m not saying that was okay, I’m simply stating a fact. In fact, I’ve voiced my annoyance about the way Buffy and Willow treated her several times. (This is proven by how little thought was given to her feelings after Xander left her at the altar…) It hardly matters anyway, because if she wanted to be remembered and missed by anyone, that most certainly was Xander. Her life revolved around him, for better or worse.

But, apart from this, I think this was a fitting way to finish her journey – from vengeance demon, to inadequate teenager, to girl in love, to working gal, to scorned lover, to vengeance demon again, to humanity connoisseur and admirer. She overcame her fear of death and she embraced her humanity, and she died stupidly fighting for what she believed in, just like humans do.

31) I think this is one of the most underrated puns in the show.

32) Have you noticed how they are killing the Ubervamps with… stakes? Retcon much?

33) Oh, bollocks, indeed…

34)It kind of breaks my heart when Spike says that he can really feel his soul like he didn’t really believe it was actually there until now.

35) Oh, god, my Spuffy heart…

Does Buffy really love Spike, though?

36) "I wanna see how it ends.”

R.I.P. Spike. Sort of. Not really.

37) I really like this shot…

Buffy just stares at the open road, her life ahead, her future, thoughts she’d never before allowed herself to indulge in because death was always around the corner. But now? There’s literally a world of possibilities…

38) Callback #3…

You left like you arrived, Spike. Goodbye home, sweet home.

39) Bless you, Andrew.

XANDER So, did you see?

ANDREW I—I was scared. I'm sorry.

XANDER Did you see what happened? I mean, was she...

ANDREW She was incredible. She died saving my life.

XANDER That's my girl. Always doing the stupid thing.

40) I just love the fact that the original cast members are the only ones in the last shot BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT THIS SEASON SHOULD’VE BEEN ABOUT. EHEM.

41) I just…

WILLOW Yeah. The First is scrunched, so... what do you think we should do, Buffy?

FAITH Yeah, you're not the one and only chosen anymore. Just gotta live like a person. How's that feel?

DAWN Yeah, Buffy. What are we gonna do now?

Buffy:

ME:

I will try to form a coherent thought because as I write this, I’m still bawling my eyes out. This ending is especially poignant for me because Buffy is my favorite character, so all I’ve ever wanted was her happiness. It’s been seven years. Seven years of heartbreak, pain, mourning loved ones, non-stopping fighting. Seven years of feeling the weight of the world on her shoulders. A girl, alone in the world, fighting the forces of evil. Never allowing herself to look forward because that always leads to disappointment and crushed expectations. But now? Nothing is stopping her now, nothing is holding her back. The open road is right ahead, and she can go and do whatever she wants to.

The show had to end with a final shot of Buffy. This was her journey, and though it’s far from over, that smile assures us that yes, she will be fine.

I guess it gives all of us a little bit of hope.

42) Is Chosen a perfect episode? I don’t think so. I think too much time was wasted on ship moments and side characters. There’s a lot of talk but not the kind I usually enjoy the most. It’s only half-way through the episode – when they get to Sunnydale High - that you really get that feeling of “Oh fuck, this is really the end, this is actually happening!”

But I do think it’s a good ending, nonetheless. There’s an epic battle – although I do enjoy the season 3 battle much more… - there’re callbacks and special character moments, there’s closure and there’s death because it wouldn’t be Buffy if no one ever died. (You lied, Giles.)

More importantly, it does what series finales ought to do – it pays tribute to its characters, and it’s a gift to the fans. I don’t think we should ever measure the quality of a show by how good their series finale is, you know? When I think of this show – and we all know I think about it a lot – it’s not “Chosen” what comes to mind. It’s everything that came before it. Chosen is a celebration of and a tribute to all of that. And as such, it is a perfect finale.

43) Thank you to everyone who has ever read one of my recaps, you are the reason I pushed through even when I felt like giving up. Thank you for sharing my unconditional love for this show. I love you all, too.

44) If you’ve got this far, thank you for reading! If you enjoy my recaps and my blog, please consider supporting it on ko-fi. Thanks!

#Buffy the Vampire Slayer #BTVS #Buffy Summers #Chosen #Sarah Michelle Gellar #MTVSepicrewatch #BTVSrewatch2015 #mine #recap #btvsrecap

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matildainmotion · 6 years ago

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What To Do When You Don’t Get Your Arts Council Funding: The Unofficial Guide.

There is an official guide. The ‘Decision Letter’ I got yesterday had a heading, Next Steps which explained how Lizzy and I could re-apply, start a new application for Mothers Who Make. ‘Decision Letter’ means, “It’s a no.” Last time, when it was a ‘yes’ I didn’t get a Decision Letter. I got an ‘Offer Letter’ so I knew it was a ‘no’ the moment I saw the word ‘Decision’ on the application portal that is Grantium. Grantium, the portal with a portentous Latin-sounding name into which, personally, I think every single artist that is courageous enough to enter to apply for funding should receive a reward for bravery. It is an epic quest involving the modern day Herculean labours of performing precise word-counts, particular codes of expression, statistical data gathering, budget-balancing – and at the end of it all there may be riches and glory or there may be this Decision Letter of Doom that coolly, in one curt sentence, acknowledges our efforts and disappointment and then says, ‘Next Steps.’ But before we even think about going through that modern mythic portal again, before we consider reapplying there are some other ‘Next Steps’ that need to be taken. Here they are:

Step 1: Swear

Swear loudly. Hope the children are not nearby. Even if they are this stage must be performed. Do not skip it out. Repeat as necessary. There is not much more to be said about this step. You will know when you have completed it.

Step 2: Wish it Were Different

For weeks I have been holding both possible outcomes in my mind. Unbidden they play out when I shut my eyes at night. The application went in under my name - even though it was a collaborative effort with Lizzy and Improbable- so I will find out about it first. I imagine making the phone call to her: “Hello,” she says. “We got it!” I say. She is delighted. Thrilled. It is incredibly exciting. Breath. It might not happen that way, I have been telling myself. In fact, I am pretty sure it won’t. I don’t think we are going to get this one. I don’t play out the conversation of that other phone call because it’s not fun, but I try to hold this heaviness in my belly to balance out the hope. I concentrate on the heavy feeling. But still, like the summer light that seeps through my children’s curtains at night, I can’t get rid of the hope altogether, and now that the disappointment is here, is incontrovertible, I have to deal with the leftover hope. It hangs around. It is curious how this happens. How even when the waiting is over at last, all those weeks of hoping cannot simply be swept away. They haunt me still. What if I had been able to ring up and declare, “We got it!”? I even have a fantasy that I should have done this. That I could have pretended we had received the longed for outcome and then I could cunningly have drummed up £50k in some other way, just so that I could get the hit of that moment of good news.

There are flickers of other ‘if onlys’ also: if only I had been savvy enough to forsee that we would have been considered weak in such and such particular area on the mythic portal. If only we had put in more or different evidence of need and quality.

This step is longer and more painful than the swearing step, but it must be borne.

Step 3: Despair

That’s it then. We didn’t get it. All that time of Lizzy’s, of others who helped too. All those emails, phone calls, Skypes, late nights. All those times I told the children to wait, I had to get this work done. All that energy, navigating the portal, putting together this project, this amazing dream of a future. Gone. No project. No funding to pay ourselves or anyone else. I think you have to sit in the shit. I think you have to despair. Lie down. Weep. Feel the exhaustion.

I am not good at this step. I hate despairing. I want to leap up and rush to the rescue. I want a fairy godmother. I recognise this from my mother, from my mothering – the longing to make it better now, the difficulty in staying with the difficult. But I think it’s important to hit rock bottom. I remember, not a fairy godmother story, but another folk tale from the Inuit tradition about a grieving mother who fashioned a new child out of her snot. I love this image. It helps me when I am crying, to think of all that stuff running out of my nose and eyes as being regenerative. So cry long and hard. You have to do a hell of a lot of grieving to get to the point where you have enough snot to make something from it. Accept the awfulness. This is where we are now. We have no money left to run Mothers Who Make. Nothing. Nada. None.

Step 4: Remember Your Roots

The good thing about there being nothing left is that it brings me right back round to when there was nothing before – to the origins of the whole movement. This is important. Inside the origin myth of how the whole thing began is the medicine you need to enable you to find a way through. Where did the dream come from? From which genuinely mythical portal did it arrive? What was the need or impulse behind it? What did you say about it back then? I said I was starting a peer support group, a small one, for mothers who are also artists. I said it was about carrying on whilst carrying your children, about acknowledging how hard this can be, how complex, how revolutionary, how fantastic, how exhausting.

Step 5: Name What You Have Now

Once I remember our origins I remember the resources we have available to us. Okay, so we have no money. That resource has run out. But we have some other things. We have a network of support comprised of inspirational and extraordinary creative mothers. We have the invaluable support of Improbable – they have been offering us time, energy and patience all along the way. And we have passion. Those are three incredible resources. If I had loads of money but no support network and no passion I’d be stuffed. Luckily it is the other way around. Along with the passion, born out of it, we have a manifesto. We have principles to which we are deeply committed. We have them written on our website (we have a website – that’s another resource!).

One of the principles that seems key to me right now is that MWM is radically non-hierarchical. Right from the outset leading the movement has meant being part of it. It does not mean knowing more, being ahead, being any more clued up or sorted than anyone else in the network, in the circle of support, be that in a meeting or online. This radical levelling applies across people and activities: one of the other MWM principles is that we value our mothering as much as our making. We value the personal as much as the professional. We value the vulnerable, alongside the slick and successful. We give space for stories about miscarriage, bereavement, abortion, post-natal depression and not getting your funding.

When the going gets rough, and fate, or Grantium, deal you a ‘Decision Letter’ rather than an offer of riches, it feels more important than ever to connect back to our principles and walk the talk. The Arts Council, mythically, are an authority figure – they introduce a hierarchy into the story that in many ways is unhelpful, triggering a feeling of helplessness and dependency. I have to start again from the level ground of where I am. So here I am, letting my son have ipad time so I can finish this blog, breastfeeding my daughter as I type (“It’s taking so long!” she complains) putting off having lunch, admitting that we are in a difficult place right now.

Step 6: Ask for Help

So you have sworn; you’ve wished you had got the funding; you’ve wept; you’ve remembered why you started this whole enterprise in the first place and connected back to what you care about. You are, by now, ready to do something. If you don’t feel this then please go back to Step 1 and repeat as necessary. Grieving – and it is a kind of grieving process, a 12 week wait of hopes that are not fulfilled – is a messy and disorderly business and in order to grow something from your grief it takes time. Be patient as you swear and cry. Eventually you will have done enough crying and be ready to do something with all the snot.

But doing doesn’t have to mean action in the macho sense of picking yourself up, soldiering on. Doing can mean deciding to stop for a while; it can mean connecting to people you trust; it can mean asking for help. These are some of the things Lizzy and I are going to do now.

We are going to stop running MWM activity for a while. Everything that is already underway can continue – hub meetings, online exchanges. All the mothering and the making will carry on because it has to do so. But Lizzy and I need to pause on producing newsletters, answering emails, having skypes, without any money to support this. Instead we will hunker down, write more funding bids, and focus on other kinds of doing like…

….Asking for your help. MWM is a grassroots movement. It comes from us and it is up to us how it grows, what it becomes. Ultimately it has to run on renewable resources. Arts Council funding is seriously useful but it is not a renewable resource – we are the renewable resource. We have to renew ourselves, and none of us can do this on our own.

There is quote that I like and that helps me when I think about renewal. It is from a father who makes, the poet David Whyte: “The antidote to exhaustion is not necessarily rest. The antidote to exhaustion is wholeheartedness.” As a mother rest can be hard to come by so I find this immensely reassuring. Ideally this is how peer-support works: we take it in turns who supports who, but even when you are in the role of the one supporting you come away from the exchange feeling more wholehearted, less exhausted.

This is the spirit in which we want to ask for help. Please help renew us and yourselves by doing whatever of these things you can do with wholeheartedness:

1) Send us encouragement: Via email or on Facebook or Twitter, let us know why MWM matters to you.

2) Send us ideas: fund-raising ideas from cake stalls to lottery jackpots. Can you raise some money for us? Send us your thoughts on how to make MWM sustainable and thriving.

3) Send us some money: anything helps. £5 is wonderful and we would accept £500 too. We need to try to fund our time whilst we apply for further funding. Go here to donate - Improbable have kindly offered for us to use their donate details. Please make sure you put ‘For Mothers Who Make’ in the notes section before pressing donate to ensure it reaches us.

Or buy us a £3 coffee for the late night chats here You can buy a t-shirt or a badge here too. Adult T-shirts £12 including postage (email us your preferred size and address, Children’s T-shirts (18 months & 24 months) are £10 including postage and badges £3 including postage.

4) Keep going to your local meetings and rally round the wonderful 42 mother makers who co-ordinate the MWM hubs

5) Keep sharing, exchanging, supporting on social media. Keep talking about MWM.

6) Come to a UK wide MWM meeting: we will be going camping and holding a day long gathering over the summer for anyone within the MWM network to help us vision how to move forwards from here. Let us know if you would like to host us! We have no money to hold the day, but we hope it will be rich in wholeheartedness. Look out for further details soon.

And, by way of July’s question of the month, you can tell us: what have you grown from your grief? What has come from your failures, losses and f**k ups? Who are your snot children?

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