#if anyone reads all of that i am fine. just venting

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

me facing off against the same paragraph for the third night in a row:

[bandsandwristbands]

Vent post

[candlebel]

Anxiety is like "When is the next bite coming?". 🥲

I'm so afraid of saying to my friends "I love you". Sincerely and deeply: thank you for bearing with my fear and vents. 🫂❤️

[lucyvaleheart]

.

[spheroz]

why do I feel bad asking for thingsssssss 😭😭😭😭 likeeeeeeeeee

[peapod20001]

Haha don’t pay me any mind oho

[luminous-faerie]

i love lying

[trueloveandy]

feeling inadequate about my writing tonight

[celestialmancer]

⛈️ //

[alexanderwales]

"I don't think I could have the relationship with you that you have with me," she said. She was very casual about it, and I was immediately on the defensive.

"What do you mean by that?" I asked.

She put the book she'd been reading down. "It's just, the way you've described it, and the vibe that I get, I don't think I could do it how you do it."

"I still don't know what that means," I said.

"You're always doing this like ... micro calculation thing," she said. "You weigh your words. You try to time things. You have never once called me up while I was at work, or asked me for something when it was inconvenient for me, and you check and double check that you're not being a nuisance."

"And ... that's bad?" I asked.

"No, I love that about you," she said. "It's very kind and considerate. I know that if I tell you I'm not in the mood to hang out, you'll apologize and not push it. If you suggest that we get pizza and I say I'd rather have Korean BBQ, you fold instantly and we get Korean BBQ. I like that. I get the things I want. But it seems like an exhausting way to deal with people."

"I want you to be happy," I said with a small voice.

"I am happy," she replied. "You're great. You remember when we first got together I was like 'hey, look, if you want pizza, we can get pizza, it's just not what I'm in the mood for', and you kept insisting that you didn't care, that you would rather have me follow my needs? And I just thought, 'you know, maybe I should just trust that's what they actually feel'. And it is, as far as I can tell. There's not some secret part of you that wants me to break your way."

"You think I'm ... a simpering coward?" I asked. Even as I said it, it felt too accusatory, the wrong thing to say in the situation.

"Whoa, no, not at all," she laughed. "I think you do all that stuff because ... I don't know, you want to? Because otherwise why would you do it? It's how you are with every aspect of your life, you're a tryhard. I mean you said to me that you wanted to reclaim the term. Your relationship with me is that you're a tryhard (affectionate)."

"And you're ... not?" I asked.

"I'm not that way with anyone," she replied. "You know why I hang out with you so much? It's 'cause I like you. Most days, I am very much in the mood for you, and if you ask for a meetup, I'll say yes, and if you don't ask for one, then I'll ask you first. And for you ..."

"What?" I asked.

"It's like ... you're keeping track," she said. "You want to make sure that you're not sending me more messages than I'm sending you. You're balancing social micro stuff that I don't pay attention to. You're consciously monitoring how much each of us has said and making sure it's the right number of words or whatever."

"It's really not about the number of words," I replied. "It's more ... making sure that social and emotional labor is equitable, that there's a good rhythm to the conversation. I don't think you'd get good results by tracking word count."

"But see, I don't do any of that," she said. "I talk because I feel like talking. I listen when you need to vent because I like you and it feels good to give you an outlet. I mean you are undoubtedly putting in a bunch of work, and for me, there's no work. That's all I meant, really."

"You've thought about it," I said.

"Oh, I'm just reading this book, and there are two characters like us in it, and I was like 'yes, exactly', and then 'that would not work for me'." She shrugged.

"And if I stopped 'putting in the work'?" I asked. "Would we still be ... friends?"

"See, I don't know," she said. "Because that's never who you've been. You're asking me if I would still be friends with you if you changed your personality and how we interact with each other. Maybe? Probably? Who knows? Maybe we'd be better friends somehow. Maybe we're just two basically compatible people, and every time you've ever worried about anything it would actually have been completely fine."

"Or maybe it's load-bearing," I said.

"Maybe!" she replied with a smile that slowly faded. "You okay?"

"I'm thinking," I said. I didn't know if I could verbalize what I was thinking in a way that would be palatable.

"Do you not like being this way with me?" she asked. "Because I have never asked you to. I've made my preferences known, but if you've been bending yourself into knots and feeling a burden, then ..."

"No," I said, because I knew it was what she wanted to hear. "No, I like the way things are between us."

"Good," she smiled. "I do too."

[mysunshine-youremoonlight]

.

[hurtspideyparker]

If Civil War didn't end in divorce and everyone lived together Part 2

Read Part 1 and Part 3

Tony: Why is Underoos mopping the ceiling?

Sam: Told him since he's sticky that's his chore

Bucky: It's only fair he helps out around the house

Tony: Hm. Makes sense

-

Vision cooked dinner:

Peter: *pushing around food to make it look eaten*

Natasha: *surreptitiously spitting into napkin*

Steve: *taking small bites with tons of water*

Bucky: *just stares at full plate*

Tony: Well this is disgusting, I'm ordering pizza

-

Sam: C'mon man stop moping around, you gotta get yourself a girl

Bucky: Ok.

Sam: Ok? Okayyyyy! I know-

Bucky: Give me your phone

Sam: Oh you got a number in mind already hotshot? *hands phone over*

Bucky: *ring* Hi Sarah ;)

Sam: BOY-

-

Peter: Ned thought you would seperate your colours from your lights but he also thought you'd be homophobic so I don't pay him much mind cuz clearly I'm more of a superhero expert than him but he does have a 2% better average than me in history so like maybe you do hand wash your clothes and that's why I asked what underwear you wear because-

Steve: *listening intently with apprehension and alarm*

Natasha: I can't believe you found the one person on Earth who talks more nonsense than you

Tony: I know right, it's incredibly unnerving. I'm planning on adopting him

-

Peter: Mr. Stark I have to tell you something. I think Vision is a... *whispers* pervert

Tony: Um, why?

Peter: He keeps floating through my room without knocking! He saw me changing, he saw my nipples !

Tony: Well if anyone's a predator here it would be you. I mean showing your nipples to a 2 year old? Deplorable.

Peter:

Peter: Oh god, I'm the pervert...

-

Bucky: Y'know animosity isn't good between teammates. I think we should spend more time together

Sam: Am I being punked right now? Where's the camera

Bucky: I'm serious. I think it would be healthy for us to bond

Sam: Okay fine I'll bite... what did you have in mind

Bucky: Wanna go for a run?

Sam: *slams door in Bucky's face*

-

*staring at Bucky's sparkly clean metal arm*

Bucky: Dishwasher?

Peter: Dishwasher :)

(later that day)

Bucky: I've decided to let the child live

Peter: YoU wHaT?!

-

Thwip

Tony: Who took my coffee cup, It was right here

Thwip

Bruce: Um, has someone seen my book? I just had it

Thwip

Steve: I could've sworn I was holding a pen a moment ago

*giggling from the ceiling*

Tony: Young man I will take those webshooters away if you use them for shenanigans and rascality

Peter, muffled: Mr. Hawkeye told me to!

Clint: Oh so you're just gonna rat me out like that?

Peter: Sor- OOF

*falls out of ceiling vent*

-

Sam: You're in my spot

Bucky: There are no spots, it's a common area

Sam: Well that's my spot

Bucky: Did you buy the chair??

Sam: No, but everyone knows that's where I sit. Right Steve?

Steve: Oops I forgot something in my car, be right back *leaves*

Sam: Still my spot

Bucky: Still not

Sam: *sits on him*

Bucky: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU ALL THE COUCHES ARE FREE-

Sam: IT'S MY SPOT YOU CAN'T TAKE A MAN'S FAVOURITE CHAIR-

BUCKY: YOU HAVE ISSUES GET OFF ME-

(one hour later)

Steve: Hey so turns out I don't have a car! Isn't that funn...

Sam & Bucky: *Squeezed awkwardly on the chair together*

Steve: I think I left something in my car

-

Steve: Leave the bedroom door open when you have Vision in there

Wanda: UGH you're so protective

Tony: Teenagers, am I right? Caught Pete reassembling my particle accelerator at midnight because he needed to neutralize a miniature nuclear bomb he nabbed off some guy he neglected to tell me was trying to kill him

Steve:

Steve: Wanda y'know what do whatever you want

Wanda: Really?

Steve: Yes just keep being normal. At least I can read about our issues in a parenting book

-

Thor: Ah, new warriors I see! Good to make all your acquaintance. But why are you so grumpy my friend?

Bucky: *glaring*

Peter: He's always like that. It's um, P- P- PMS? Wait -

Natasha: Yes it's PMS

Wanda: He's got it bad

Steve: *genuinely concerned* Bucky you didn't tell me something was wrong. What can I do to help?

Bucky:

Bucky: I like chocolate

-

Wanda: Welcome to the first annual girls night! This place reeks of men, so I thought we needed some women time

Pepper: Why is Vision here?

Wanda: I get sad when he's gone

Natasha: Why is Pietro here?

Pietro: Slay queens

Wanda: Moral support I think

Maria: Why is Peter here?

Wanda: He looked really upset when I said he wasn't included and I felt bad

Wanda: Anyways... yay girls! Who wants me to paint their nails?

Peter: ME ME ME

-

Steve: Pancakes or waffles?

Natasha: Pancakes

Steve: Good because I don't have a waffle maker

Natasha: Then why would you ask-

Steve: It's important for your voice to be heard, as team leader I value your opinion

*2 minutes later*

Steve: Good morning Clint, pancakes or waffles?

Clint: Waffles

Steve: Oh no.

-

Some of these were based on requests (ex. more Sam & Bucky, dad Steve w/ Wanda) so if you have certain dynamics you enjoy let me know !

[antiendovents]

actually, since i already commented on your post about tulpas and how they pissed me off; im gonna do it again. in detail.

note: i am a former buddhist, i live in a buddhist country. (95% of thais are buddhists) and pretty much been surrounded by it. im asian. saying it before people jump at me because im terrified as shit

as i mentioned, tulpas are stolen and bastardized completely from a tribe of tibetan buddhists, and the practice itself isn't even a system thing. while thai buddhism and tibetan buddhism are different in their own way, i am very fucking pissed off that they just saw the concept of a thoughtform spirit that helps you meditate, overcome your fear and guide you to nirvana (because that's the main purpose of buddhism) and turn them into "oh! we make alters because we can due to our meditation and we're spiritual so that totally excuses using a generally closed practice! we're not harming anyone!" total bullshit.

i don't want (and sorry if i'm a bit mean) those bigoted fucks stealing basically my culture since im attached to buddhism in general, i grew up with it. and "tulpa systems" slapping it on themselves for the sake of being "unique". i have seen countless comments and posts about how its always the white/non asian people that say "no its not a closed practice, its not cultural appropriation :) actually you should be glad we're appreciating your culture in the first place" fuck off! appreciating culture is fine, but you bastardize it so much and dumb it down to just "making alters/imaginary friends" are you just hearing yourself? are you stupid? are you braindead? god, im getting so angry again.

i have also seen "tulpamancers" insulting actual asians like me who speak against tulpas, saying that we're just "asian token of a character" or that we're "closed minded" and should accept these assholes who dont know what theyre doing into my culture and blatantly disrespecting it, spitting on it and just taking one practice that fits their narrative. wow, talk about being appreciative while half of your community does shit like this to actual buddhists, huh? real nice of you. way to go, you cultural appropriating fucks. /vneg

i cannot count how many times asian culture is so whitewashed on the internet, people that just take our tradition and do whatever the hell they want with it, including making a system out of thoughtforms, which is not possible whatsoever. and for what? FOR WHAT? for your own sick entertainment and enjoyment of having a imaginary friend in your head? try dissociating so hard you cry yourself to sleep you absolute pillock. this is a very angry submission, but it just frustrates me so much. all of the insulting "yous" are directed towards "tulpamancers" that they proudly call themselves. by the way. sorry if it sounded like it was directed at you, im just so angry at the moment.

one last thing. Stop. Using. The Term. Tulpa. For your system. Please!!!!. tulpa systems are not a thing and will never be. End of story. Nothing will change that. Endos fuck off. im sick of your shit. thanks for reading my angry rant.

-azriel for the majority of this, rox/virus proofreading some of the parts, thanks for letting us vent ^^

i dont have much to add, please read this ^^

[jisatsuwaifu]

Life is incredibly frustrating, stressful, and exhausting. Everyday I think “it’s okay, it’ll get better, try again tomorrow” but it just keeps proving me wrong. When I think things are getting better and I can finally relax, something else comes along and puts me right back into panic mode. It’s always something, there’s never a break. I never feel safe. All I do is complain about how sad or frustrated I am and I’m sure everyone around me is sick of hearing it. Which is fine, I wouldn’t want to be surrounded by misery when my life is good either or listen to a broken record when there’s much better music to be heard. I am my own responsibility, I shouldn’t rely on others.

My thoughts consume me. Not in a cutesy I’m just a girl cringe kind of way but in a “I need to go to sleep as soon as possible to prevent an accident” because I cannot trust my own head to comfort me but to only make scenarios worse or feed into my paranoia. I am not built to be left alone. I constantly feel like I’m too much and not enough. I’ve never felt more loved but also so alone in all my life. Everything is black and white there is no grey areas with my mind.

I just don’t think anyone knows or understands how thin I’m being stretched and how badly I’d just love for everything to stop and to be able to catch my breath. Just for a day. I’ve cried for help but I don’t think the one person I need help from genuinely hears me. I dont trust many people to begin with. There’s only so much a single person can take before it starts to cripple them. And I know I can be over dramatic and too emotional at times but this genuinely feels like the end, I can’t see past this point in my life. And the sad part is I do not know how I got here. Or this far to begin with. But I am so tired. It’s times like these I wish I had my mom back or even just a family to lean on and seek advice from, but I can’t even entertain my own sister long enough to talk on the phone with me. I don’t understand why I exist or what my purpose is if all I’ve ever been exposed to is pain and abandonment. There’s some aspects of my life that I know I serve a purpose for and want to make proud, I’m trying my hardest for that one thing. I just don’t want to cause anymore damage than I already have. I can’t be like my mother.

I just needed somewhere to vent, some outlet. It won’t change anything. I feel hopeless and empty again. I might just delete everything. I don’t know.

The best I can do right now is try again tomorrow.

( if you read all of this thanks for listening to my rant and I’m sorry I wasted your time when you could have been scrolling onto something cooler like tiddies or anime idk but ty anyways <3 )

[olderthannetfic]

I find it really sad when proshippers partake in "cringe culture" so to speak. you can't build your platform on anti-harassment and then make fun of people for being into something you deem stupid/trash/etc.

Like, I know in my mind that proshipping is more about anti-censorship and being pro "darker" stuff so to speak, and that it's not REALLY built on "we shouldn't make fun of people for reading/watching Stupid Stuff" but shouldn't the two be connected? I'd honestly argue that the latter argument is a stepping stool to the former?

Because how can you reblog "all ships are good ships" "ship and let ship" and then make fun of someone for being for an adult who still ships Steven Universe characters? How can you post "RPF is fine" but then make fun of that person on stan twitter who's a bit too into kpop rpf?

just makes me sad. The people who have made fun of me for the most for my MCU hyperfixation are my fellow proshippers. I've unfollowed people for posting book-tok screenshots that are clearly just mocking the OP for the fact that they read Colleen Hoover or whatever.

And I'm not talking about privately shittalking something, or just hating something in general; I'm not not even really talking about laughing at the *media/media creator itself* and criticizing it. I mean, I myself still laugh at the "read another book" Harry Potter meme (which, if i really need to add a disclaimer, i am DEFINITELY not talking about people who think it's weird and fucked up af that some people still like JKR as a person because. . .how can you at this point?). Moreso I mean people who claim to be SOOOO anti harassment and SOOOO pro-all-forms-of-art-even-'bad'-art (whether the art be bad in a moral way or in a creative way, whatever "art" "bad" "moral" and "creative" even MEAN because it changes with everyone.)

Obviously no one is going to like every single piece of art ever, and it's, imho, really human to be a "hater" to some degree! I just have a problem when someone genuinely makes fun of the FANS of something or thinks that someone is less intellectual just because the someone in general likes Disney/Twilight/Taylor Swift/Hamilton/whatever. No one gives af if you think a certain writing or acting style is cringe, but if you think the fans are cringe, that says more about you than it does about the fandom.

(also as a send off -- all the 'yous' i said here were general, def not directed at anyone on this blog. I'm just venting and this seems like the best place to do so where people will agree with my words.)

--

[cryptomiracle]

what type of lover is sam winchester?

sam winchester x reader (fluff headcanons)

"Wait for the signal and I'll meet you after dark

Show me the places where the others gave you scars

Now this is an open-shut case

Guess I should've known from the look on your face

Every bait and switch was a work of art"

-willow by taylor swift

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊

WARNING(S)

I'm just on season 14 atm, but I took a break from watching it to focus on other things, so I apologize if his character is inaccurate.

gender neutral reader

this is my first time writing for supernatural, please be understanding of this

This is kinda short

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊

psychical touch

he's not very big on PDA, other than hand holding or a simple little peck on the cheek/hand every now and then.. but in private? this man cannot get enough.

If you're a night owl, he's the type to sit on the couch with his head laying on your lap at like 2 am, trying to fight off sleepiness just so he can be with you. when you two sleep together, he pulls you as close as humanly possible and sleeps with his face in the crook of your neck.

he's constantly showering you with kisses on your nose, on your mouth, on your cheeks, on your hand, you name it.

He's the type to kiss you goodbye, then pull you back into another kiss, and then another, and then another, until you have to psychically pull yourself away from him.

Sometimes when he gets spooked he'll involuntarily grab your hand.

Now don't get me wrong, he enjoys when you give him the same energy, he loves for you to comb your fingers through his hair, or when you wrap your arms around his arm when you two are walking around (it doesn't matter where you're going)

if you were to randomly walk up to him and hug him, he would literally melt into you, he would do all he could to prolong the hug as much as possible, just to stay in your embrace.

When you two are cuddling, he's a little spoon (I will die on this hill.)

love language

words of affirmation

This man is a poet when it comes to you, he will wake up in the morning and just start telling you the sweetest things you have ever heard.

he will quite literally have you swooning over him, and he means every bit of what he says.

Although I wouldn't call him an insecure person, you would have to return the favor, even if it's just little confirmation that you still love him.

He's constantly worried that his line of work would cause you to get hurt, or worse.. so you would have to remind him that you don't have any second thoughts, that you can take care of yourself and that you don't want to be with anyone else.

acts of service

He loves doing things for you, whether it's carrying your bags, or running you a bath.

he'll do things without you even having to ask.

if you show any interest in something in a store, consider it yours.

Quality time

hes fine with going out to a nice restaurant, but he's also okay with just having a homemade dinner with you. He's happy as long as he gets to spend time with you.

He's an okay cook. but he likes to cook with you, it's his favorite way to spend quality time with you

Sometimes though, he would rather go to a restaurant he enjoys seeing you get all dolled up, it makes his heart melt.

When y'all first started dating, he definitely had to ask dean for date ideas, but once y'all finally got fully secure in your relationship, he'd just ask you what you wanted to do.

He enjoys sitting at home and reading with you, or doing research on whatever case him and dean are working on at the moment.

He greatly appreciates if you help him with his research as well, if you were to find something before him, he'd compliment you and tell you how smart you were, & how much of a help you were to him.

He's just a little sweetie pie

(I love him so much YALL DON'T EVEN KNOWW)

fights

Honestly, fights with him aren't that bad.

He will let you vent out all of your emotions, but if he thinks you're being irrational he will let you know.

He does have a habit of storming into another room, or going quiet whenever he feels himself get genuinely angry, mainly because he doesn't wanna yell/blow up at you.

After he cools down, he will attempt to resolve whatever it was that caused the fight to begin with.

Oftentimes, he will try to avoid conflict with you all together.

I can just imagine the two of you fighting in front of dean and Castiel, and them just standing there like "🧍🏼‍♂️👀"

If it's a really bad fight, he'll need a little moment alone to settle down.

jealousy

imma give him a 4.5/10 on the jealousy scale.

He's secure enough in himself, and your relationship to where he doesn't feel jealous over little things.

but if somebody tests it, he will let it be known that you're his.

Like, if a cashier at a store were to flirt with you, despite him being right next to you he'll shoot them a confused yet humored look while sneaking his hand around your waist & pulling you closer.

what kind of lover is sam winchester?

overall, sam winchester is such a great lover his love is so bittersweet, kind, patient, and understanding. He's such a sweetheart ♡