#if anyone is reading this and has any input you can tell me :3

[m1ckeyb3rry]

icoamd keeps haunting me (in a good way, i think🙂‍↕️)

saw this image on tiktok & I realized im not capable of getting over anything u write, especially icoamd🥲

byebye now🐧

ICOAMD MENTIONED ‼️ help that picture is so real so me so facts…one thing about me i will love a knight/royal guard EVERY TIME 🤩 it’s truly such an underrated yet dreamy trope i wish more people wrote about…sigh…actually i just got into a new fandom that is lowkey rife with potential candidates for the trope though maybe i will have to tentatively return to royal au land 🤔 but anyways i digress!!

AHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH!! i think about icoamd megumi sometimes and always with fondness he was such a sweetheart 🥹 ngl sometimes the plot of icoamd was rough solely because i kept going on hiatus with it so half of the time i never remembered what direction i was taking the story in 😭 SO it really means a lot to hear you loved it sm regardless!! thank you again i really appreciate it

[fuckyeahizzyhands]

Con and Izzy tidbits from The Republic of Pirates convention 22–24 November 2024 :) ❤

(reconding of any kind was prohibited, this is compiled from I and other people managed to note down :) <3, photos were allowed at panels)

What Con shared Izzy at MeetAndGreet and Fanmeet:

Izzy's hidden wrist tattoo: the name of Izzy’s lover who’s connected to the emerald ring has been on Con’s wrist in S2, under the glove; there is also a scar through the name; Con has a photograph on his phoen and talked about doing doing a raffle with David’s permission where the winner would get the name; they thought they were going to show it while shooting the death scene but then they put Taika on the other side so he had to use his left hand

The flavour of the toe: the toe was made from carrot cake with raspberry sauce

About his input for Izzy’s costume: he didn’t want him to have spurs because Izzy is a climber and rigger and they would not be practival for that; he loved the whip but they had to go through a lot of versions how to carry it; they want to make him another leather pants for the topless scenes that would be more „hugging of his bits“ but he nixed that idea

About scars on Izzy’s back: orginally there was supposed to be a back tattoo that would be lacerated by the scars but they didn’t have the time and butdget to do it („the scars didn’t také that long, but shaving my back…“ and proceeded to tell a story about how some years ago a production waxed his back ending in a straight line in the middle of the buttock only 4-5 days before the shooting, it resulted in a rash and Con had to do the scene laying on his back anyway)

Con & Nathan’s panel:

(they were so brilliant and funny and cute together, I wish recording had been allowed)

At the start: Con: Everybody say Fuck. Audience: FUCK! Con: Thank you.

Nathan: ...ask me about my flourishing career. Fan: Oh, did you like read my mind or something… that was on the tip of my… Con: The tip of your… Nathan: Conathan oh nonathan, we’re in public.

Fan: Is it true that when David Jenkins said he was gonna make Izzy convincingly pretend to die that you demanded in compensation a scene where you got to prance around with your tits out? Con: No. Trust me, he wrote the topless scene before he wrote the death scene. Cos he's met you fuckers.

Nathan: Lucius is a true alpha. Con: That’s a t-shirt you’re never gonna see. Nathan: Lucius is the true alpha, I'm not joking, make merch. Con: But alpha would be spelled: A, double B, A.

Fan: What was the weirdest question you got asked at convention? Con: Oh, we don't have time. Nathan: ...I've been asked whether Lucius is the top or bottom. Con: What's the answer? Nathan: The answer is, you'll never know, honey. Con: Oh, I think we know.

Fan: If your characters were forced at knife point to bake and decorate a cake, what kind of cake do you think Con: If I was forced at knife point to decorate a cake? THIS is the weirdest fucking question I've ever been asked. If it was for you lot, there would have to be cocks and jizz in it somewhere. Nathan: Jizz in it? Con: And that's quite easy to do with icing. Yeah, so probably that. (Con and Nathan start to wonder why is sb holding them at a knifepoint, Nathan says that Lucius’ would be bad bc he would be terrified, Con pretends to hold a knife to reenact the scene with shouting: DECORATE THE CAKE! :D)

Fan: What are you a fan of? Con: Cheese. I just wanna make cheese.

(a callback to Con's Jim from Midsomer Murders and a big thank you to the person who gave me this! :) <3)

Who would they want to work with (that they haven’t before)? Con - Tina Fey, Al Pacino, Keri Russell and would love to work with Russell T. Davies again. Nathan - Kathryn Hahn, Maya Rudolph.

Fan: What's the perfect cheese plate? Con: Oh, how long have we got? It's got to have chutney. It's got to have chutney, but it's got to have a homemade... ff they put Branston on the plate, I'm like, what the fuck? Anyone can do this. A cheese plate is a work of art. It's got to have hard and soft cheese. It's got to have soft cheese that's been at room temperature for some time. It's got to have innovative crackers. If you give me Branston and the Jacob’s, you can fuck off. It's got to have some onion though as well, whether it's a pickled onion or just sliced. And it's got to be a good mixture. So minimum four, preferably five different cheeses. There's got to be blue. I prefer a soft blue, but it's not contractual. There's got to be a very strong cheese. There's got to be some kind of cheddar. And there's gotta be... I like a goat's cheese, which isn’t for everyone. And THEN... yeah, I could be here all day answering that question. (until the end of the convention Con sometimes stands up with „So, cheese…“ :D) Also later they are asked about their favourite cheese and it’s Brie for Nathan and Blue Brie for Con.

Fan: If Izzy and Lucius lived in modern times and couldn’t be pirated anymore what kind of job would they have? Lucius would be a gossip columnist, researching assistant for an old professor that he thinks is an idiot or for a Tory MP, Con first starts talking about the movie Day of the Jackal and that Izzy would be like a character there „give us a quid or I stab you“ but then says: Another thing Izzy would be is really angry chef – and if anyone would compain and sent the meat back… it would be returned with something else in it.

(let me point you to this wonderful comic that Cliopadra made after this panel :D <3)

Fan: Did you také anything from the OFMD set or would you have liked to? Con: Well, only found out recently that some of us did. I’m fucking furious that I didn't. I would have taken the waistcoat and I would have taken the glove, but I didn't. Because nobody told me we were cancelled. Nathan would have taken the finger if he could, but the costume team made him another military jacket from the last episode.

What country that they haven’t been to would they like to visit? Con – Iceland. Nathan – Canada.

Fan: We heard from Samba that he would have liked for Roach to have gone out in a really chaotic way, taking as many enemies with him as possible. And I wondered if either of you had anything that would have liked your character to go or an alternative... Con: Live. Nathan: My ideal ending for the show is that there's this big, epic battle, a huge bloody 20 minutes battle. Everyone dies. Somehow Lucius survives the very end, stows away, and then Lucius is the final victor, and he's walking away, and just trips, hits his head and dies.

Con said he would like to do more comedy.

If they did a similar show like OFMD but in another era, what it would be? Con: Cowboys. Cowboys and vampires.

Con & Rhys’ panel:

(also amazing together! But this one was more difficult for my brain because I was tired and the sound in the room was more difficult for me to understand, so less stuff here :| <3)

There was originally an Izzy teaching Stede about slaps and punches that didn’t get into the final cut.

Rhys: I think they started, actually, really care for each other. Because they had a similar goal in the day, and it was to not only love, but look after Ed, this human that is so damaged, and so intricate and so interesting… so I think we united on that front. Con: Yeah. Rhys: And if we’d carried I think we would have been quite close actually. I think we nearly got there. Con: And then they killed me. Rhys: And then they killed the show.

While answering a question about whether they ever got slip any secrets a new meme / joke emerged end evolving, originating in an idea that Rhys has a sex tape with Kevin resulting in „KEVIN, GIVE ME THE TAPE!“ and Rhys shouting ‚Give me the tape’ several more times during the panel. Con: That’s gonna go on T-shirts. - Rhys didn’t think so saying that it is only going to last for a week, Con disagreed :) - I already saw stickers being made so I think Con was right :D.

There was a question if there was a scene that wasn’t there but they would like to have filmed and Rhys started saying that for some reason he started thinking of things of sexual nature. Then he starts describing a scene to Con: During the... whacking off. The candles. You’ve got no shirt on, I think Stede did see... Con: Whack off? Rhys continued speaking about sexual element there and something about a flirtattious moment and a bubble bath (?!). Con: Also that scene was slightly longer and there was a like face to face moment where we were, I would say nipple to nipple, but it was actually nipple to Rhys’ bellybutton. Because allegedly I’m short.

Rhys (speaking of Richard Curtis): He’s an icon. Con: Speaking of icons, hi, I Con.

Fan: Do you think that Izzy would officiate Ed and Stede’s matelotage? Con: Maybe in fanfiction. A) I don’t think they’d want him to. And B) Izzy’s not a romantic man so that wouldn’t work for him, he’d rather watch them fuck

Me meeting Con:

Absolutely amaziiiiiing! NGK🥺❤. He's such a lovely, funny and kind human being! During the MeetAndGreet the first night he found out that I never met him and he stood and came to give me a hug (yeah, my brain absolutely shortcircuited!!! :)))) (and I got one more hug the last dayyyyy, wahoooo).

I made a design what I think Izzy's pirate flag would look like - Con liked it and agreed :), unfortunately this convention didn't allow giving gifts right to actors, only through gift table so I gave him T-shirt with that design through it (I was wearing the same T-shirt and giving out these stickers to fellow con attendees :D).

When he was signing this brilliant Izzy topless show promo photo (O:)) he said: "Look at those shoulders, I mean, come on, I didn’t eat cake for so long." :D <3

I shall treasure this experience and I very much hope to meet him again in the future! ❤❤❤

(by the way, I redid my pc corner - my interests are complete mystery :D)

THE MUPPETS!

The amazing Fyre created several muppets and Con was very happy that he could get the Izzy one :) ❤! (as were Vico and Kristian, unfortunately Rhys didn't have suitcase space and Nathan is a bit weirded out by muppets in general :) <3)

(Nathan muppet tried to touch Izzy muppet's hair :D)

(as I said no direct gift giving, but thievery happened :D <3)

Other tidbits:

(if/when I remember or find more, I will add them here :))

There was a four year old cosplaying as princess Izzy and at the photo Con asked how old she was - she said 4, and he went “oh I’m a but older than that”, stood up “but not much taller” :D <3.

Con at the end of the one of the panels: Scary times, guys. We are at our best when we’re fighting back. Fight back. And look to your community and support your community. We’ve been here before, we’ll be here again. Fight back. ❤

[smilesthroughfandoms]

Ranking The Brotherhood on how good with kids I think they are.

(Listen my homework is depressing me and I want a break so here we go)

No. 1: Demon Bull King: Listen it’s not just because he’s a Dad™️ ok! You cannot convince me otherwise that he didn’t spoil the ever loving heck outta Red Son as a baby. He loved that little boy and would not hesitate to slaughter anyone who dared even looked at his son the wrong way. Sure, nowadays he has a few missteps but the love and care is still present. He’s not perfect but he’s the best of them all. 9/10—He stumbles a bit but he means well.

No. 2: Six-Eared Macaque: He’s the Go-To Babysitter and the Designated Driver™️ of the Brotherhood. He will care for any child if he needs to. Sure he might just feed them junk food or frozen stuff but hey, that’s better than nothing. He’s the Fun Uncle and kids just flock to him. 8/10—He tells really great bedtime stories too.

No. 3: Yellow-Tusk the Wise: He’s the standard. He’ll make sure the kids are fed, clean, and content but his idea of a “fun, engaging activity” is reading the Dictionary and discovering new words or something. If you need a babysitter fast he’s your reluctant go-to. 6/10—The kids will be asleep when you get home on account of how boring he was!

No. 4: Azure Lion: He’s not that great with young kids but the older they get the easier it is for him. He can talk to them more easily. He will not know what to do with a baby. He will hold it at arms length and just be terrified out of his mind. But he will also try to speak all “hip” to the older kids and fail spectacularly. 5.5/10—He definitely pronounces Meme as Me-Me.

No. 5: Golden-Winged Peng: I know in the OG Journey to the West they have a nephew—but would you let them around your nephew? They laughs anytime the kid falls over and has insulted several children to their faces. And that’s the easy stuff. 3/10—They May or May Not have dropped a kid once and it May or May Not have been an accident.

No. 6: Sun Wukong: What is wrong with you?! You trust this absolute disaster of an immortal with your children?! Do you hate your children or something? He’s never known illness or the true concept of death so what’s he going to do. He won’t actively try and kill the kid but man he doesn’t have to he’s that bad. 1/10—The other Monkeys on FFM are alive today because of pure instinct and little to no input from this monkey and no one can convince me otherwise.

[lesmismignon]

something something a mother's day fic set after Threnody. it has been at least 3 mother's days now. at this rate my gf's cats will call me mother sooner than this gets finished, so

"You looked troubled."

Seras blinked. Her master was in front of her with his torso sticking out of the ceiling.

"Eh." She did not reply any further than that.

"You know, I almost miss the high-pitched, annoying police girl. At least then you were respectful."

"I'm always respectful, Master," Seras said, wide-eyed and innocent.

Alucard disappeared and reappeared in the hall, standing properly this time. He looked bored, which explained his nosiness.

"Perhaps I may be able to dispense advice."

Yeah, sure. Dracula. Vlad the Impaler. Giving her sound advice. Great. She would have better luck summoning Walter on an ouija board.

"Has anyone told you how loud your thoughts are?"

Her eyes twitched. Alucard was trying, in his own dysfunctional way, to make up for his thirty-year absence. Which was all fine and dandy, but as usual he had the worst timing. "I'm sorry, Master. It's just something to do with Integra."

"Oh?" There was a distinct inflection.

Seras prided herself on not blushing. Ever since the day in which the office was not wrecked, the relationship between her two masters had improved. Too improved. Actually, even Pip was starting to avoid the walls near Integra's bedroom!

"Yes, well, it's Mother's Day soon."

Alucard stared, uncomprehending.

"And I want to get her a present, is all. The thing is, I've exhausted my options—"

"You want to get Integra a Mother's Day gift," he deadpanned.

"Yes. I do every year."

"Do you see Integra as a mother figure?"

"Yes? Oh! I know it's strange, since we're only three years apart, but that's easy to forget when she has those wrinkles—which are lovely on her," Seras added hastily, misreading Alucard's expression. "I know I tease her! But I told her, Master, go and apply those creams I got you for your fiftieth birthday if you're really that unhappy—"

"Then, pray tell," Alucard drew out, "what does that make me?"

Seras blinked again. Then it dawned on her.

"O-oh." She fidgeted. "I guess that would make you a, um."

There was a pause.

"To be honest, Master, you're, er, you've been away for so long—no offense! It's not quite—how should I say—" Seras coughed. "Um. I could—oh! Wait! Let me show you something."

She whipped out from her pocket a black rectangle.

"This is the modern phone, Master!" Seras explained quickly. "A smartphone! It can take calls, pictures, videos, go on the internet—do everything, basically. So, er, what I'm trying to show you is...there!" She swiped several times on the screen and then held it up.

Alucard stilled.

"It's Master Integra's old photos! There aren't a lot, she always gets so snippy when I try to take them..."

The photo on display was taken a few summers ago. It was a side profile of Integra, capturing a moment seconds before she had fully turned and swatted at the phone. They had taken a rare day off at the beach. She was gazing off into the ocean distance, and perhaps because of that, her one eye was a deeper blue, a depth that went to the far reaches of her thoughts.

"I almost burned that day," Seras said casually, next to Alucard's stock-stillness. "You can't tell, but she has on a blue sundress. She looked so pretty in it! I had to convince her not to go back and change, what was all that sun lotion I'd put on her for, then? And…" She trailed off. "Um, you need to use your bare finger, Master."

Alucard was attempting to copy what Seras had done and swipe for more pictures. Upon her input his gloves vanished. Seras did not miss how they had been blank.

Her eyes curved. You really are… "Wait."

She jumped and tugged at his sleeve as he began to walk away. "Master, you can't take it, that's my private phone!"

"Don't you think privacy is redundant when I can read your thoughts?"

"What? What does that even--that just means you shouldn't be doing either! Give it back! I--I need that to message Pip--"

"Your goose boy? Don't you two talk enough in your heads?"

"Never you mind," Seras screeched, and ripped the phone from his grasp. "Master, I promise I'll get you your own, just give me an hour!"

Alucard looked at her owlishly. "I want the photos."

"With the photos! God!" Seras darted into a wall to escape.

[b-lessings]

السلام عليكم ،

Hope you’re doing well sis,

Id love your advice on a matter of that’s okay. I didn’t tell anyone yet and I don’t have much time so wanted to get your input on what should I do.

So I’m 27, I’ve never dated, been asked for marriage or known someone. Lately, I decided to join a Muslim dating app as it seemed like the safest option since I’m now seriously considering marriage. I got matched with someone and we exchanged numbers. It’s only been 2 weeks or even 3 and he asked to meet in person. I already have my photos public in that app so he saw me. I tried to avoid it a few times but he asked again and I told him when I’m back in town, and today I told him that I’ll be in town on Wednesday and told him my plan for the day and told him where I’ll be since I have an appointment. Now my plan was to just see him in person and if he asked me to go to a cafe or something to tell him that there is nothing between us and I don’t know him enough to go somewhere with him but at the same time I don’t know if should even meet him in the first place but also I know that this is a part of the process in general so anyone I’ll meet online they’ll ask to meet in person first. I didn’t tell my mom because she gets her hopes up easily and wanted to confirm first if it’s legit then tell her. And another thing is that I’m afraid he will stop talking after we meet because I don’t look like the photos or whatever since I use filters all the time or because I gave him hopes that we will meet but I just walked out on him. Would love to know what do you think or if any sister reading this can share her thoughts would be so helpful. جزاك الله

و عليكم السلام و رحمة الله و بركاته beautiful ،

I am going to make this short and straight to the point. It's very simple: religiously speaking it's a No. No you can't meet him in person all by yourself. I am not going to judge the whole Muslim dating app thing. I am saying that no you shouldn't be meeting this guy outside all by yourself, especially that your family doesn't know. That is what I know. What you do is up to you sweetie. I know things, circumstances, culture, and conditions on a practical level in life are different from textbook religious rules, I know the environment and the lifestyle allow some things or make them seem normal, I really know that and I am not judging because I am very familiar with such environments, I grew up in one. But now I know better, and I can't not tell you that you shouldn't be doing this.

Here is how this situation could get back on the correct way according to what our deen says, at this point, if he really likes you or has good intentions toward you, he should ask for your father or your brother's number, and/ or come to your house. This step doesn't have to be a big deal, it shouldn't mean that there is an engagement or a proposal, this is only the first step, the right way, for getting to know you, or more correctly asking for permission to get to know you. If things didn't work out, that's fine we move on with our lives it is not the end of the world. And if he didn't like you because you don't look like the pictures then he'd be a shallow person and you're better off.

So if I were you right now, I'd cancel the meeting and I'd tell him that I investigated and found out that it was impermissible in Islam to meet like that, and if he really wants to get to know me, here is my father's number, set up a meeting and come to my house and we will go from there.

This might sound hard but in Islam, a woman is supposed to be strong and "عزيزة" precious, she is designed to be, and to hold herself as a queen, she is the one wanted and sought after, she is the desired and they are supposed to work hard to get to her. And in life, you are treated the way you put yourself or carry yourself, so if you carry yourself with respect, finesse, dignity, grace, you will be treated that way ✨

I will leave the floor to any sister who can help or has any opinion on the matter.

I really hope you take my opinion into consideration honey.

May Allah swt guide you to do the right thing, ameen 🤍

- A. Z. 🤍🍃

[solarsleepless]

hello all

welcome back the kristy thomas autism analysis, where i'm rewatching the show and writing down her autistic traits as i see em (as well as noting any neurodiverse traits in the other girls). here's part 1 and part 2 if you haven't seen em.

without further ado, let's get into this

Episode 3

more of kristy hyperfixating on business and the club in general, reading the frickin art of war simply to find a way to beat the competition

not picking up that she should absolutely wait until her client's given birth before calling/texting her. lack of social tact

throughout the show, she doesn't really care what others think of her, with the exception of her friends, and even then she doesn't change herself much for them with the exception of if it's hurting themm. kristy shows zero embarassment parading around town in cardboard sandwiches

the most confrontational to the baby-sitter's agency of all the girls: strong sense of justice and not afraid to correct anyone if she thinks they're in the wrong, even if they're much older

more odd sitting, which as mentioned in part 2 is prevalent in autistics due to our need for proprioceptive input

not understanding that her joke of "or your blood pressure's dropping?" could be taken the wrong way

additional notes:

mary anne's "and actress halle berry." we often consume random trivia about our hyperfixations in the craving to basically wring out every bit of dopamine it gives us, which can include tidbits about actors. also, not realizing that it's odd to say in this situation, and justifying it with "what? she does!"

"we have to do the most responsible thing of all." "vacuum." this one is pure vibes. it Feels autistic. if i had to give a reason i'd say she thinks of it as a sign of responsibility due to the loud noise autistics will usually be more sensitive to and the fact that it's cleaning, which is generally a responsible thing to do, so it's doubly responsible because it means you did it even though you're sensitive to the noise?

not very much, so i'll do a special 3+4 mix just to make this one a bit longer :D

Episode 4

kristy doesn't tell mary anne conventionally that she's upset with her. instead of speaking to her like stacey and claudia do to express their upset with mary anne, she tells her that she's really upset with her by spending time sitting at tables apart from her. mary anne even thinks "if she's sitting with them, she must be mad." all this is to say that kristy is not very verbal when it comes to genuine upset with mary anne, and mary anne has learnt to recognize it

even though she is upset with mary anne, kristy still watches her when she talks to dawn because mary anne's her closest friend and the only one who truly understands who kristy is, both because of how close they grew up and because she is also autistic, and kristy doesn't want to lose that because it's hard for people to understand you when you're autistic.

not to keep bringing up the clothes but in comparison to the other three kristy wears much softer and more comfortable clothing, which again, can be a result of sensory issues that make wearing anything else from uncomfortable to downright painful

additional notes:

this is a mary anne centric episode, so we get a TON more of her autistic traits in general. this episode really resonated w me the first time i watched because damn i'm so much like her FHRHJFJ. anyways: she exhibits social anxiety, which happens to co-occur a lot with autism. "talking to people i know makes me feel like my stomach is falling out of my nose. so does talking to people i do knows sometimes. i think i'm just bad at talking." autistics tend to struggle with the unwritten social rules of society, and not knowing them can make conversations extremely stressful, especially if you're already not that self-confident. even with people you know, it can feel like you're "performing" for them, and that if you make one wrong step they'll make fun of you, and worst of all, all of it feels like your fault for not being competent enough—this is what i think happens with mary anne.

autistics (& adhders) tend to wayyy overapologize, even when others tell them not to, because we often feel like everything we've done is wrong and we apologize a lot to almost make up for that. it's nearly worse when you've actually done something wrong, because it doesn't feel like you can make up for what you did due to rejection sensitive dysphoria making you feel like a horrible person but also it can take away the weight because you say it so much.

mary anne cries twice in the episode without wanting to—not because she's ashamed of crying, but just because she knows internally that there's no reason to be crying. even when she's just talking more passionately she just cries, and she doesn't know how to stop it because she doesn't even feel like crying, it's just Happening. i couldn't find any research on this because it tends to just focus on how to parent uncontrollably sobbing autistic kids, but it's happened with me more times than i can count, where i'm not even feeling emotional but i'll just cry when speaking, seemingly for no reason. idk if that's part of the autism or just me but i'm including it anyways

also, running away from stressful situations is an autism thing, especially if you're embarrassed and overwhelmed

her dad is so autistic. he writes down when he has leisure time. come on yall. nobody allistic does that. also, infodumping about things he likes: in this case, a jerusalem artichoke: his niche seems to be more related to foods!!

"sorry, i have to work with sounding less obssessed." despite just being excited to make a new friend, she feels like she has to apologize for that. many autistics tone is misread for a myriad of reasons, which makes them feel the need to apologize for it because they've been taught it's wrong.

[deputy-buck]

Well now you gotta let us know your thoughts on Hawk/Tim puppyplay

!!! love you anon, so much !!! here's Tim's lamb + some other items and photos

Is it a way for Hawk to take more control? yeah, a bit. But is it more so about Tim letting go and being more comfortable with himself? Abso-fuckin-lutely.

I project a little onto Tim, and I HC him being very unsure and over-conscious of his movements, like his physical bodily movements, he's over-aware of anyone's eyes on him to the point he thinks "Am I walking normal? what do I do with my hands? is this a weird way to stand?" It's super fun- I've settled on "Skip" being Tim's pup name :3

Also I'd like to say a super special THANK YOU to @lispenard-street for beta-reading this fic for me!!! Literally every piece of input you had was gold and the absolute correct thing to do, not to mention all the super kind words you had for me even though the draft was in shambles when you first saw it lmfao- So thank you, Gem💚

-

Fetch

Hawk was consumed in drafting a small speech for a function Senator Smith had organized —something about acknowledging McCarthy's threat to the State Department but encouraging diplomacy— when Tim showed up on his doorstep looking like a kicked puppy. His boy promised that he would be quiet and that all he needed was to be somewhere safe while he felt this way. With a beat of hesitance, Hawk let him in, slightly worried no work would get done. Hawk really has no clue how telling a bunch of grown men and women to essentially stand down will do any good for the department, but he'd rather chop off his own hand than go against Senator Smith. 

Tim’s head feels light and full of syrup-damp cotton. He’s quite familiar with this feeling, having been experiencing it for some years; the swirling, strangling, suffocating need to serve and submit. But it’s all different now, knowing that he has someone he can relinquish himself to. Knowing he can let his mind float away and still be safe regardless of whatever may happen around him.

His tongue is wet and heavy behind his teeth, forcing him to swallow the excess spit before it drips past his stress-chewed lips. A warm buzz tingles across every inch of his skin and radiates through his insides; the feeling settles somewhere in his hips and weakens his knees, joints threatening to buckle beneath his weight. The urge to sink to the floor right on Hawk’s doorstep nearly wins but he has just enough sense left in him to know that it would get the door shut in his face.

Instead, he takes a couple wobbly steps across the threshold and into the foyer before giving in to the downward pull and sinking to his knees on the hearth rug that poses as a welcome mat. Tim struggles with bumbling, pawing hands to strip himself of his clothes, only managing to shake out of his coat and claw at the already loose knot of his tie before he lets his hands drop to his lap in defeat. Head swimming, lungs unable to draw in enough air, he looks up to the man standing in front of him, asking —begging— for help with watery eyes, throat resistant to form any sound other than a pitiful whine. 

Hawk smiles and gently peels away the layers of Tim’s human facade: tweed, cotton, tortoiseshell, and gold all in turn. Replacing it with leather and brass, unbinding his pup from responsibility and expectation, letting him be raw and sensitive here where Hawk can protect him—can be the soothing balm to all his scrapes and burns caused by the world.

With a finger hooked in the D-ring of Tim’s collar, Hawk leads his pup into the living room. A little bit of fussing over Tim’s blanket, a brief pitstop at his desk to fetch Tim’s little white lamb, and a soft yet firm command of “Down. Settle, Skip,” later; Hawk redirects his attention back to his speech —leaving his little pup to play at his feet—  intent on making good progress tonight. So he's got a pencil in his hand and three sheets of paper —two already full of his scrawling, thankfully— on an old book in his lap. He's not sitting at his desk for this —his back hurts too damn much— but instead is reclining on the low couch on the opposite wall. 

                                                          ===

Tim nudges his little white lamb into Hawk's lap, propping his chin on the older man's robe-covered knee, huffing and whining when his handler doesn't immediately look at him. The sweet noise catches Hawk's attention immediately, quickly switching his focus to Tim's pouting lips and glimmering eyes instead of the stark white pages.

Those big doe eyes shine with a playfulness that has Hawk's heart seized with warmth and affection for the young man. 

He’s just a boy, Hawk marvels.

Tim had been quietly playing by himself on his rust orange tartan blanket at his handler's socked feet, manipulating the soft toy with his hands and rubbing his cheek against the fluff of its fur, nipping at the tiny ears and tail. But that gets boring after a while, and Hawk hasn’t so much as reached down to pet him in the last twenty minutes. 

A break might do Hawk some good— his eyes are starting to sting anyway.

"Wanna play, huh?" Hawk sets the pencil and makeshift writing pad aside, picking up the small plush and shaking it in front of Tim's face. A laugh bubbles up from his chest as Tim presses his chest forward against Hawk's shin and snaps at the toy, teeth clacking together when a soft, felt hoof gets close to his nose. Maybe he'll catch it one day but today isn't that day.

"Get it, boy." With one last flick of the toy in Tim's face, Hawk tosses the cotton-stuffed lamb across the living room and into the kitchen hall; he had moved the chair that usually sits in the center of the room over, giving his pup room to play while he worked. Hawk is thinking of making this furniture configuration permanent, always allowing Tim to slip down to the floor and be 'Skip' with nothing in his way when his boy’s mind starts to shift and slide to one more canid.

This is a fairly new addition to their play, fetch. It still feels odd to crawl on the floor in nothing but his briefs and collar; bright sconces of the kitchen hall leaving him nowhere to hide. Tim feels a bit exposed, as though his most vulnerable parts are bared for Hawk to scrutinize from his comfortable perch. The skin of his face, chest, and back flush a rosy shade of pink knowing Hawk is watching him.

Hawk rakes his eyes down Tim's body, a ball of heat beginning to wind and coil low in his belly. With a slight readjustment of his robe and briefs, Hawk makes sure to conceal his growing erection, knowing that's not what his puppy needs right now.

Tim clambers his way across the living room, palms and knees softly thumping on the hardwood floor as he chases his lamb. The nickel tag clipped to his collar jingles with each plodding step. He's not going to humiliate himself by trying to trot after it —he knows he'll fall flat on his face— but he's learned that Hawk wants him to crawl instead of get up and walk. Dogs don't walk upright, Skip. Down, boy. 

Once Tim reaches his beloved lamb, he dips down to grab it between blunt teeth. Jaws clamped down on the soft fabric, Tim shakes it side to side like a terrier with a rat or a Beagle with a rabbit: mauling it before bringing it back to his owner for a reward. His hair falls into his eyes as he does so, obscuring his glasses-less vision even more when he turns his attention to Hawk, panting softly, searching for that warm smile he's always trying to draw out of his handler. The one that lets Tim know he's doing good.

He gets it, a sharp show of teeth, the highest value reward Hawk could ever give.

"Bring it here, Skip. Come on." Hawk encourages, patting the top of his thigh to beckon his pup back to him. He loves when his boy turns into his pup, the thorns of defiance and questioning stripped away to sweet, silent submission. Hawk wouldn't change Tim's inquisitive mind and crashing emotions for anything, but it's nice not having to be on his toes, waiting to be thrown off-kilter by a question he hasn't allowed himself to think about. 

Tim ducks his head as he crawls back to Hawk, still a bit too aware of the position his body is in. Hawk had said he likes the way Tim's shoulders flex and strain as he lumbers across the floor on all fours. The memory of Hawk growling those words in his ear while the older man's hands squeezed and kneaded the muscle in Tim's arms prompts Tim to pause once his hands hit the scratchy circular rug. He slides them forward to stretch out in front of himself, chest nearly brushing the floor, fingers clawing at the rug, intentionally tensing his shoulders to make the muscles ripple and cord beneath his skin. Arching his back like a dog who just woke up. His collar tightens around his throat as he does so, biting into his skin, leaving the faintest mark for later.

Satisfied with the shaky sigh and chuckle Hawk lets out, Tim straightens back up to finally bring the toy back to his handler, a little more confidence in his stride. His tag jingles a little louder now. Depositing the lamb in Hawk's open palm, Tim sits back on his haunches, ready to chase and retrieve the toy again, willing to bare himself for as long as Hawk will grant.

"Good boy, Skip." Hawk praises, free hand ruffling through Tim's hair, pausing to gently scratch behind his pup's ear the way Tim loves. "Always such a good puppy for me." 

-

Again thank you so SO much for beta-reading this for me, Gem, you're the best!!

[transmutationisms]

Repeat anon from before talking about bodily superiority and piss <3 I can't believe you picked up SO spot on. I've been reading Kropotkin's Mutual Aid for a couple years, revisited it the other day, and I owe that exact read of Succession to the dude. What you said about the show presenting a sharp analysis of the characters' ethical motivations tracks with me too. I did get ahead of myself tho, 100%. I get your point now, Succession really has refrained from telling a clear cohesive politic to imagine different worlds, like anarchism or communism. Came to my next conclusion more after chewing on your reply: its core philosophy runs incompatible to liberation. This has been stuck in my head since I heard it, Jesse Armstrong in Controlling the Narrative for the S3 finale goes, "People's essential selves don't change. In a way that's what makes drama and choices interesting." I do witness that bleed throughout the show. I love that the writers put capitalism and fascism under a microscope through the characters' intimate, erotic relationships with each other. But the thing is, they tell us stories over and over of their failures to change. Like, if Succession's a tragedy about characters stuck in unbreakable cycles of failure, then is it also a tragedy that considers capitalism and possibly all forms of domination unbreakable cycles, too? If so, not a cute vibe! Genuine Q that lingers since day 1, that I don't think the show answers... yet. Unless Waystar crashes at the end with no reiteration in sight, I wouldn't be surprised if the show sticks that landing more firm for the big finale. At best I could read a core story of Succession being that the characters' circumstances (nuclear family, corporation, capitalism) keep setting them up for tragedy precisely because of their more basic senses of cooperation, and the show's input ends there. And I'd love that, honestly. But I have a feeling the show will bring us to a more hopeless place, I only don't know where yet.

ok i knew it.... yeah kropotkin had such a major influence on basically all left-leaning understandings of evolutionary theory. i mean prior to him the options were basically bourgeois darwinian malthusianism or some strain of lamarckism, which latter was 1) increasingly hereditarian anyway, 2) not emphatically structured around 'natural selection', and 3) fundamentally drawing from sensationalist psychology, which meant moral sense tended to be presented as a result of habituation rather than as a rational social interest. so you can see why kropotkin was such a game-changer for anyone invested in defending any version of evolution-by-natural-selection as a non-teleological, non-theistic, materialist view of nature---but without the addition of british capitalism lol.

anyway, to answer your actual question: yeah, this is a huge tension in the show imo, and it follows from it being a huge tension in marx. in interviews jesse has quoted the marx line right out of '18th brumaire' about circumstances constraining men, and talked about how he doesn't think people fundamentally change. there are obvious reasons why, in that particular text, marx was especially pessimistic about the possibility for people to defy their circumstances lol---1849 was his case study in history 'repeating itself' because of (what he saw as) essentially the same class tensions as in 1799 rearing their heads again. but at the same time, marx's entire political project was predicated on the notion that true revolution is not just possible but expected, as an outcome of the historical development of the productive forces in conjunction with increasing labour estrangement and alienation.

frankly i don't think the show will end with waystar destructing or anyone meaningfully changing their social, political, or economic positions. and this would be fine, IF the read is, like you said, that the continued imposition of structures of capitalist production constrains the characters to acting in this selfish, dominance-seeking, antisocial way. like, i'm fine with the notion that the entire show is a tragedy and always has been, and that the characters are incapable of change as long as their circumstances remain the same. but i agree with you that there's a risk of implying (or outright stating, lol) that people are simply and intrinsically incapable of meaningful change for reasons predating capitalism and grounded in some kind of bio-psychological discourse. i would hate this ending and this moral lol and i have been hoping for 3 and a half seasons now that the writers' room is too smart to take us there. we really will have to see how these last few episodes play out.

i'd add that i think this sense of hopelessness and helplessness can add to the show's psychological writing, for example in the cynicism and nihilism of roman. roman essentially sees capitalism as an alien force he can't control or counter in any meaningful way, so why bother? which is certainly true to how many people (even literal billionaires) feel in the face of such a complex and entangled system. and it's not like i expect the show to end with some kind of raising of revolutionary consciousness, but i also don't want it to end with a total denial of the possibility of human cooperation and mutual aid as governing behavioural principles in different circumstances. i don't believe that as a species we're doomed to the way logan roy capitalism encourages us to act, and it'll really annoy me if that's where the show lands after all this time lol.

that said, i do think no one on this show is escaping their circumstances in any material way. i don't think any of them actually want out (certainly not the kids, tom, greg, or the old guard) and i do believe that the broad outlines of the ending have been pretty clear since day one. whether or not they keep waystar they will continue to operate in logan's world because his empire was always just one articulation of this broader capitalist discourse on domination and 'survival of the fittest'. even if a character on this show tried to cash out and dip they'd still be caught in this global financial web, and none of them are inclined to do that anyway because [class interests and family business]. which is i guess to say that i don't think we will see any of these characters change on a deeper level, but i think it's possible for the show to end that way and still frame it in a way that allows for alternate readings of human behaviour and sociability IF placed in different material circumstances. we'll see whether jesse and the writers have the subtlety to stick that landing, though. ultimately yes, the show is a character study and not a political polemic, but i will be really very irritated if it turns out to be a character study premised on a fundamentally reactionary, essentialist understanding of 'human nature' and social behaviour lol.

[subway-boss-jericho]

SORRY ABOUT STEADY TRACKS if u want I can… send an ask in about it… if it would help… maybe… 

Going on the coupled (Uncoupled) post- struggling to communicate turning into an Issue that makes it Harder to communicate but then the characters realizing they Really Have To Communicate and Doing so even tho it’s hard is. So good. It’s especially interesting here with emmet kinda dealing with trying to figure out how to reverse the fusion Without any real input from ingo. 

(I do freaking feel you Emmet. Forgetting that people have you Explicit Permission and Freaking out despite being aware they knew the risks. Man. It’s rough.) 

Love seeing stories about their relationship. How much do you love your brother? How well do you know him? Just how far would you go? … could you forgive yourself? Could he..?

Mmmmm tasty. Especially since the answer is often “yes” jejdjdnenidjx

It’s also nice to see a story where initially trying something that seems like a good solution didn’t work! And possibly made the situation worse! (Or perhaps is exactly what they needed to get talking with one another) 

No one is perfect! It’s so fun to see what these two characters who love each other would do. 

On that- I. Feel you incredibly hard about the romantic aspects of “love”. It’s… very sad to see how little people feel friends can do with one another without it being “romantic” in nature. Even more so for siblings. I’ve also written fics where I read it back and I’m like “will people misinterpret this? Will they think that this is wrong?” And it sucks. It really does. (I usually put a “this is Not romantic in nature” and have to trust that people won’t assume things.

“I can't really control what other people will think, say, or do. I just hope they don't get me involved”

as you said, about sums it up.) 

(ok now. Gimme a sec to whip up something for two left hands jejdjsjdnbxns)

Don't worry about it! Firstly, you can do whatever you want forever <3 Secondly, it is never anyone else's fault if my brain switches tracks. I mentioned Coupled (Uncoupled) offhand on a totally unrelated ask and then hyperfixated on them for the rest of the week sdjhgsdg That's just how my brain does stuff sometimes, which is the real reason why working on big long-term projects (in this case, Steady Tracks) take a while. Thirdly, this is the most anyone who doesn't know me personally has ever interacted with any of my not-steady tracks AUs, so please know that I would go through the trenches on your behalf

I got mentally ill again + was busy the next day so I blame my delay in answering this ask on getting so excited that I genuinely didn't know how to respond right away ksjdhgsdgh

So hard to write good conflict! So funny when I look back on how I write conflict and it ends up being inextricably tied to my life experiences 🤣 (wheeze) Art can tell you a lot about the artist?? really? that's crazy who would have guessed /j /s The struggle with him trying to reverse fusion is the first "major arc" that I mentioned on one of the other posts. It's one of the shortest ones, thankfully, yet also has an extremely dense angst content sjkdgsdg Unfortunately it's easy to spiral when you believe everything going wrong is your fault. it's a bit hard for me to talk about much more without starting to spoil the story and I'm trying so hard not to �� The love was always there! It always has been and always will be! But Emmet needs to stop feeling guilty so he can accept that love and move on, and Ingo is going to keep doing his best to try and communicate + show support in the meantime.

The splicers initially making things worse is definitely one of the funnest parts of the AU for me :] it was supposed to help Emmet feel more secure, and yet instead it made everything way more complicated + made him feel way less secure... I can't pretend to be normal, I'm very fucked up about them

🤝I won't drag out the romantic/platonic discussion because I know it makes people uncomfortable to discuss- more than fair, it makes ME uncomfortable to discuss -but hell yeah solidarity. It's at least nice to be able to voice my stance on it, since I feel like it's hard to even bring up in the fandom. I love a civil discussion about hard topics :D love setting boundaries. Peace and love

Thank you as always for the asks!! 🌠✨

Coupled (Uncoupled)Masterpost

[cosmolis]

interview with the vampire author!

tagged by the bestest @aevallare xoxoxo even though it took me ages.......

When did you start writing?

Before I could even write, I was already making up stories with my friends in the schoolyard and drawing horrible comics lmao everything was a storytelling opportunity for me

Probably a very common thing for writers/artists in general!!

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?

i had a romcom binge reading phase this year and while i'm writing one right now I can safely say that it will never be my genre lol

also probably never a full-on epic fantasy, it would require too much plotting and world building and fact checking that i can hold myself to (also i cannot picture things in my head and i feel like this is a severe handicap for this genre??)

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?

I wish I could write descriptions & shitty characters as well as Donna Tartt, Magic/Horror As A Metaphor as well as Maggie Stiefvater and Weird Crazy Amazing Narration as well as Tamsyn Muir

(🕯️🕯️ Manifesting that for spooky season 2024 🕯️🕯️)

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

the messiest desk that ever was, with an average amount of 3 dirty cups, 4 notebooks, 1 nail file to hopefully stop myself from biting my nails and -1 pen because they keep disappearing somewhere? but idk where?

and so

much

cat hair

even though i feel like i´m spending my time vacuuming my desk

What’s your most effective way to muster up a muse?

I reread/rewatch the book/media that inspired the project and/or reread the whole draft from the beginning and/or I reread comments left by my betareaders

most of the time it's all 3

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?

— not knowing who you are/who you want to be and being angry about it — complicated relationships with parents and/or oneself — the absolute need to bolt and leave everything behind without being able to say why — recently, grief & the vacuum left by failed dreams

no & i don't think they would surprise anyone who has known me for more than a week lol

What is your reason for writing?

Processing Stuff is the official reason but the real one is: making my close friends/beta readers want to throw stuff at me while also trying to figure stuff out that I should have figured out already

Is there any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating?

i love when what i'm trying to do finally clicks with people, the comments where they realise where i'm going but i'm not there yet in the story and they're so excited about it!!!!!!! YES YOU SAW THE WRITING ON THE WALL!!!!!!!!!!

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

hopefully as someone who finishes projects instead of moving on at the 50k mark lmao

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

The fact that I manage to not get crippled by my own insecurities is an achievement in itself ngl

How do you feel about your own writing?

cannot live without it and yet cannot for the life of me be consistent about it, truly the worst part of myself

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, do you write purely for yourself, or a mix of both?

I always start for myself, but I need external input to keep going. I've always had writing partners / beta readers who were also close friends, so I don't think I could write without it being "social" in some shape -- i need to know that someone is FEELING THINGS

@ijja @whendawncomes ♥ ♥

[dimigex]

hey just wondering if there’s a rough idea on the next instalment of healing hands 😍

Precious Anon, I was literally working on it when I got this message. I feel all the guilt that the new chapter isn't out because it's been ages. I will say that it started around a few thousand words and it's almost 14K now (oops). Since the wait has been so long, there's a sneak peak under the cut! <3 <3 <3

Ignoring the question, Sakura crossed her arms over her chest. “Tell me about the mission.” 

Kakashi raised one shoulder in a shrug. “It’s an S-ranked Anbu mission. You know I can’t give you the details.” 

“Well then, you also know I can’t clear him.” Sakura raised her chin to meet Kakashi’s dark, guarded gaze. As much as their friendship had developed over the past few months, he still managed to needle under her skin with little effort. Huffing out a frustrated breath, she continued. “How can you give me mission details when you send me the broken shinobi afterward, but not let me know what to expect? How does that make any sense?” 

The tense silence between them stretched for a moment as Kakashi formulated his response. Then, he sighed. “We have intel that a hideout belonging to Orochimaru is showing—” 

“You want to send him back to Orochimaru,” Sakura burst out, unable to contain her incredulity. “After everything he’s been through? How could you possibly think that’s a good idea?”

The lines across Kakashi’s forehead deepened, and Sakura realized that she might have revealed more about her relationship with Tenzo than she meant to. They wouldn’t have had much reason to talk about his past, especially since she had him on leave for medical reasons. But, as the Anbu medic, she had access to his file. Tenzo had admitted that much of what he’d told her was recorded inside. It wouldn’t have been unlikely that Sakura read it. 

Whatever conclusion Kakashi came to about the information, he kept his opinion to himself. “An abandoned research laboratory on the outskirts of the Land of Fire has been showing activity: disappearances, strange noises, and smoke. I need someone to secure the facility.” 

Refusing to be swayed, Sakura inclined her head. “And, you have dozens of Anbu who aren’t currently on leave. Send one of them.” 

The idea of sending Tenzo back to one of the facilities that he’d been trapped in as a child soured Sakura’s stomach. He would understandably be on edge and if something went wrong, it would set back weeks worth of hard work. Considering his slip with alcohol the night before, and the night terrors that came with it, Sakura couldn’t risk returning him to the field, not yet. He wasn’t ready. She had to find a way to protect him without damaging his trust again. 

“Sakura,” Kakashi chided, voice taking on the tone he’d used when trying to make her see reason as a genin. It hadn’t worked then either. “There are people disappearing, a couple of them were kids. If anyone knows how Orochimaru operates and how to capture him, it’s Yamato.” 

The plea tugged at Sakura’s heartstrings, but Tenzo needed just as much protection as those missing children did. If something went wrong, as it so often did on missions, she wasn’t sure how he’d react. His battered body in the hospital bed after his previous two missions flashed through Sakura’s mind. But, it gave her an idea. “I’ll grant his medical clearance on one condition.” 

The soft snort of disbelief from Kakashi didn’t match the ice in his gaze. “You do understand your input is a recommendation, right? I don’t have to follow your advice.”

“Yet, you keep asking for it,” Sakura countered, meeting Kakashi’s stare without flinching. There were only a few things that would make her stand up to her former sensei, and patient care was one of them. 

“What is your condition?” Kakashi shifted on the couch, a clear mark of discomfort. At least he was willing to entertain the idea. 

Sakura let out a measured breath to gather her courage. There was only way that she’d feel comfortable with Tenzo being back in the field. “Assign me to his team.” 

“Absolutely not.” Kakashi’s answer came almost as soon as the words left Sakura’s lips. “This mission has a high probability of failure, and you are not trained to handle these types of situations.”

Whose fault is that? Sakura managed to keep the question from leaving her lips, but only barely. Anger flooded her system at the implication that she was somehow less because she hadn’t received Anbu training. She had completed S-rank missions before, and her medical ninjutsu rivaled if not surpassed Tsunade’s. “If you’re worried about failure, I’m the best option to get your team out without casualties.” 

“This isn’t a game,” Kakashi growled, scrubbing a hand through his hair. “I know you’re a good medic, the best even, but Yamato’s team won’t cater to you if you can’t keep up.” 

“I don’t need anyone to cater to me.” Sakura gestured at her dirty clothes with one hand as if they explained everything. “This may come as a surprise to you, but I'm in the best physical shape that I’ve ever been.” 

Kakashi shook his head like the fact was of little consequence. “That may be so, but you aren’t Anbu. There won’t be an extraction team if something goes wrong.” 

“You think I don’t know that?” Sakura recalled the harsh reality that she’d witnessed at the hospital and Tenzo’s apartment since returning to the village. “I’m not a scared, untrained genin any longer, Kakashi-sensei.” 

The title melted the ice in Kakashi’s eyes, transforming it into something like pride. “I know, but that doesn’t make you ready for this type of situation.” 

Sakura blew out a tired breath, wondering how many times she’d need to prove herself before someone believed in her. “Because you don’t think I can do it?”  “Because I don’t want you to do it,” Kakashi corrected, leaning close enough for Sakura to see the pale flecks of silver in his eyes. It underscored the sincerity in his voice.

[forsssnaken]

10 Questions for Fic Writers

thanks to @eviebane for the tag! no pressure tags to @quoththemaiden @minervas-hand @zomblorbs and i can't think of any others i know who i haven't already seen tagged lol

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 7 so far

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 43,258

3. What fandoms do you write for? good omens. one of my aus in the works is going to be a star wars one, so i guess i can say that fandom. i've thought about doing daredevil stuff as well.

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? i have. i forget most of the time. i wish there was a way to like comments or something so i didn't have to think of a nice response lol

5. Have you ever had a fic stolen? hope not. if anyone has, someone tell me. no clue why they'd want to though

6. Have you ever co-written a fic before? no. but i do take a lot of input from people in screenshare, betas, and artists (especially my lovely dante)

7. What's your all-time favourite ship? can't go wrong with ineffable husbands.

8. What are your writing strengths? i think i'm quite good at dialogue. especially making it sound like it came right out of the show or book.

9. What are your writing weaknesses? too. many. wips. bakeoff is slow going because i'm in 3 fucking bangs like an idiot.

10. First fandom you wrote for? i wrote lord of the rings stuff while i was reading it when i was probably 11. very gay, should have seen it coming.

[iviarellereads]

System Collapse, Chapter 8

(Curious what I'm doing here? Read this post! For the link index and a primer on The Murderbot Diaries, read this one! Like what you see? Send me a Ko-Fi.)

In which it's time to fight back with better tools than fists or energy gun arms.(1)

Murderbot starts assembling its documentary, loosely basing its fictional story around what it expects happened to the indentured contract workers it met on the way to Milu. It's using 94% of its processing capacity to do it, so Art-drone has to explain to the humans. Tarik is skeptical, Iris is just stressed, and Ratthi looks vacant because he's already reviewing MB's first draft.

It's including material from all sorts of sources. It knows the story has to be personal, so the part it's making up is the most important. It tries to craft it so that it will make humans care about the people whose story it's telling, as much as it cares about the humans in its shows.(2)

It was hard. I never liked watching helpless humans because I knew what happened to them, now I was having to not just watch it but create a story out of it and explain why and how it was happening.

Soon, Ratthi says some of his research is relevant, and he offers his archive for use. MB knew it was likely, and gives him a quick guide to the tagging system to help organize in the project space.

Then he sent me a note back: So, you may not know this, but I read your letter to Dr. Mensah, the one you sent when you left Port FreeCommerce. I think you’re absolutely the right person to write this.(3) I can’t handle that right now so I’m just going to archive it for later.

MB and Art-drone keep assembling. Art-drone generates voiceover of dramatic readings of text-only descriptions of some events, and together they organize the potentially useful persuasive clips from media in their available archives, fictional and otherwise. This is where MB knows they really need the humans' help, but it's feeling encouraged at how its project is shaping up in comparison to others in that cloud.

Tarik argues with Art-drone asking how many voices it can really replicate. Art-drone mimics Seth's voice perfectly to tell him any voice, and Tarik gets a moment to cuss before Art-drone assigns him the musical scoring for the piece. Tarik protests, he played a couple of traditional instruments in school. Iris pauses her conversation with Trinh to say they should interview Tarik for this.

MB remembers Tarik was on a death squad, and would be valuable input. They can steal the score from some other piece for now, the colonists won't recognize it anyway. Ratthi offers to interview, but isn't sure what to ask. Tarik, however, is motivated to not be in charge of music, and thinks they can figure it out.

Iris gets angry and cuts off the conversation, stomps over, and drops on the bed next to Ratthi. She says the colonists have agreed to watch the presentation, but the team needs to leave in the morning, as soon as the weather lets up.

They have five hours. It takes four and a half. They do a few dubiously ethical things, like morphing Iris's voice into Bharadwaj's which is explicitly against Preservation law but Ratthi is sure she'd give permission for this if she could. By the time they finish, there's not time for the human-helpers to watch the whole thing, at 47.23 minutes. So, they split it into thirds and each human watch one piece. A few corrections, and Art-drone is ready to push the final version.

Only, Trinh isn't available, so Iris isn't allowed to talk to anyone else. MB starts sweating, trying to figure out what to do, when Iris says she won't give up. She asks Art-drone how they can make the humans watch it. Art-drone says force likely isn't necessary: it opens AC2's media directory and says they can make it available to all.

MB, who doesn't even kick itself for not thinking of that because all that processing has its performance down, queries AC2 for file upload permission. After AC2 establishes the why, it gives MB an address to send it to, and reviews it to be sure it's not dangerous.

Ratthi wonders if they'll be able to watch it in time. Tarik says it's been forty years since they had anything new, of course they'll be intrigued. And Iris adds that it's really good.

AC2 asks about the accuracy, and Art-drone provides the list of sources and annotations.(4) AC2 confirms file upload, and MB sees it appear in the directory, tagged as entertainment as well as educational, but most importantly, as new. AC2 even added a note that it was a gift from the visitors on Team Art. MB wishes it hadn't added that part, as it's sure they're not very popular right now.

MB tells the team it's uploaded, and the humans all stop to stare at it. It stares back through its drones until Art-drone reminds them it'll take forty-eight minutes for most humans to watch, even if they get it immediately. Iris says they should get some rest, but Ratthi suggests they watch the whole thing, together. Tarik asks if that will really be less stressful.

At least no one had said if they watch it. Except I thought it, so. Whatever, I need to watch Sanctuary Moon now.

Art-drone cuts their access to the directory, so MB can't watch the download counter and catastrophize. So, while the humans watch the whole documentary, MB watches Sanctuary Moon on another bunk. It's comforting, but MB realizes it's in the mood for something new, in a way it hasn't felt since the incident. When they get back to Art-prime, it thinks it'll have to let Art pick something from a list it's been keeping, to apologize for being so useless.

It's then that MB realizes the humans are being distracting by not being distracting.

It knows it's a good sign when humans don't talk over media and when they don't move "except to eat crunchy things out of bags". And, it's having a bit of an emotional crisis about it all, as it spirals out about how this might let down all the people who helped. Art-drone says it's gained good insights from watching the humans watch it, MB doesn't need to worry.

Yeah, I’ll just code a patch to stop feeling anxiety, wow, why didn’t I think of that earlier. (That was sarcasm, I have too much organic neural tissue for that to work.) (Of course I’ve already tried it.)(5)

Finally, the humans get to the end. They listed the sources, but instead of credits, just left a statement that it's a collab between the University and Preservation.

Iris sighed and said, “That was excellent, SecUnit.” Ratthi said, “If they don’t like it, fuck them.” Tarik snorted a crunchy thing and had to be pounded on the back by Iris. “I’m serious,” Ratthi said, doing an exasperated hand-wave thing. “If they can’t recognize the truth in an attempt to save their lives, I don’t know what else to do.”(6)

Tarik asks Art-drone how they're doing on views. Art says there have been 362 downloads, 75 views completed just about as fast as their own, 287 still in progress. It finally unlocks MB's access to double check. Tarik asks how many people are in this colony, and Ratthi says 421, so most of the adults have downloaded it, and some will be watching in groups.

A call comes in to Iris's comm. Art warns her it's from Leonide. She accepts, disgruntled, but after says B-E are leaving, and want to meet again. MB notes that the weather is starting to clear, later than expected, but that probably means B-E were given the same request to leave.

Iris decides she and MB will go meet with them, while the others go prep the shuttle. Art-drone tries to argue, but Iris says they've done all they can, and the colonists know how to contact them. And, she is curious what else Leonide might have to say.

It wasn’t a bad plan, as plans go. I could still object and say I’d go alone, like before. Iris had already said as security consultant that kind of thing was my decision. But considering how that had worked out, I didn’t want to get set up by Leonide to say something stupid again, not when we might be close to succeeding.(7)

=====

(1) My alternative line for this today is "In which I could leave y'all with a one-paragraph summary but I'm not quite that cruel, at least about this series." (2) Fortunately, having watched several thousand hours of media and done a lot of thinking about the human condition, Murderbot is in a good position to understand stories and how to tell them. Just watching media can give you a baseline instinct for storytelling and how to craft and analyze it. It takes practice to refine it, and active work, but I feel like it's believable MB has spent time doing that. (3) Bestie's got your back, babe. (4) In the wake of all the plagiarism revelations this month, a very important detail that I'm glad wasn't lost in the sauce. (Pun intended.) (5) Gods, if only. (6) It's true, there's only so much they can do, and this was probably the strongest plan they could've come up with. (7) See, it CAN learn to do better.

[gladiolidiaries]

I went down the rabbit hole of your asks about Q and K and dtkq in general and I have thoughts: DTKQ was never real

I have been around in the dream fandom since end 2019 so pre literally all of these friendships (except dteam of course) and from the word go I always got the impression quackity didn’t like Dream not even neutral but just didn’t like him they did one stream together and never again I don’t think he favors Sapnap in anyway either he talks about Sapnap like he’s a fucking caveman and only tolerated them bc of George and some weird fan created fiancés lore that he like kinda keeps to but like doesn’t fuck w outside of the lore streams and even then he said before that dteam+k are “work friends” to him not on the same level as his irl friends. When Q was still activly hanging with people like mizkif after everything he’s said about Dream and I’m pretty sure to this day he still follows kace***on. so that solidified to me that dream and q aren’t and have never been friends bc why would you continue to follow someone actively harassing and doxing someone you claim is a friend Dream has never like off handedly talked about quackity either like I can’t think of a time Dream on his own told a funny story about being with or talking to quackity. And I think Karl god Karl is so sad to me bc I don’t mind him but he like so desperately wants his own trio like the dream team and wants his own duo like dnf so bad it’s so painfully pitiful to watch he’s like “creating” these groups and then he abandons them once he milks them dry or once they never pick up the way dnf and dteam do his closest thing to it was Karlnap but I really think Sapnap has pulled away from that recently he used to play into it a lot but he’s kinda pulled away and idk why they keep trying to resuscitate banter I need it to die like in theory it’s fun and could work but they never do it they give up after 4 episodes the 3 of them don’t have good chemistry together Sapnap and George can bounce off each other but then Karl has to be the center so Sapnap doesn’t bother half the time and George is trying to carry the weight but even he’s not into it the most popular and lively episode of banter had Dream and Dream hard carried that ep 💀 all in all I don’t think dtkq was ever real I don’t think q liked anyone but George and Karl and George doesn’t like not including his best friends Dream and Sapnap and Karl saw it as some like possible group and he himself even said that the only reason why dtkq content ever happened was bc he would force everyone to do something together and 1/2 the time Dream would just leave 1/3 of the way into any stream and most of the time Dream is q and ks punching bag anyway that pisses me off when they did content together and Dream just gets shit on. I think it sucks bc it looks like q and k were really into dtkq for content reasons and dteam wanted friends but I doubt we will see any content from 5/5 ever again (not that much existed to begin with) because quackity has isolated himself with his Spanish audience and even English and he’s all solo q Stan’s who hate everyone else and I think a lot of dteam Stan’s have not changed opinions as far as pos or neg but I think a lot have lost interest or don’t care much for Q and I see it starting w K as well they are gravitating toward sylvee and Hannah and back to Tommy now funnily enough but yeah people wrongfully assumed that 5/5 were close when I don’t think they are the fact that they were in LA for 2 weeks and quackity was there for most of that time and there wasn’t a peep of a meet up lmaoooo and like George spent most of the time doing nothing he had free time and didn’t go see him yeah yeah yeah tells me all I need to know sorry this is long I’ve kept this for far too long 💀

Hey thanks for the long input I love reading opinions from fans who've been here since the beginning 🙏

[mrblarglikes]

Long post! Beware!

Well, let me tell you the story the most important piece of software that nobody really knows about. The Basic Input Output System is a piece of software that comes bundled with the hardware. The first ones were burned [1] into Read Only Memory chips. At boot, the CPU has a specific memory address that it just starts running. The BIOS is that program that it runs.

Basically, as the name suggests, it’s a fairly simple program and it sets up the bridge between the OS and the hardware. Meaning that it sets up the equivalent of a mailbox for all the things to communicate with each other.

This means that you can write a single Operating System and so long as it can speak BIOS, it can run on the dozens of Intel 8080 computers on the market in the early 80s.

Which brings us to the author: Gary Kildall. Gary wrote BIOS for his product CP/M (Control Program for Microcomputers - a term that made sense at the time). CP/M was an OS for the growing home computer market. Computers like the Commodore 64, Apple II, even the first home computer the Altair 88 all booted into BASIC which was a simple programming language. But all these versions were different. If you booted into a program that only dealt with managing files (these didn’t even have directories aka folders ) and launching programs, it would be a lot easier.[2]

For this reason, IBM wanted to buy CP/M. They approached Microsoft as the broker for the deal and for … reasons [3] … they ended up hiring MS to write a clone of it instead. This became PC DOS [4] and the reason Bill Gates was the richest man in the world for a long time.

The BIOS was the thing that stood between the hardware and the software. So if anyone wanted to run DOS on a generic PC clone, they would need a BIOS for that clone. But software is copyrighted, so the few companies that just copied the available code from IBM got sued into oblivion. Until a plucky company called Compaq came up with the “clean room” method. 1 team would read the code and write what it does and a second team would write fresh code based on those specs. This was upheld in court when Big Blue tried to take them down.

At the time IBM and Apple controlled their hardware ecosystem and set the price of access to computing. But freeing the BIOS turned the technology inferior intel based PC into an open platform, which lead to cheaper competitors and the reason that the PC is so dominant.

Modern computers have replaced the BIOS with the Extended Firmware Interface (EFI). People still call it BIOS because few understand what it ever did, but BIOS is dead. Long live BIOS

Footnotes:

[1] Programmable ROM chips are a grid diodes, which let current run in one direction. If you apply enough heat, it will literally burn out the diode so current can’t run in any direction. Apply test voltage on an unburned bit you get that voltage back, a 1. Otherwise the current is blocked and you get a 0. Flash Memory is a distant ancestor of this technology.

[2] remember that this was all done before the home computers could display graphics without dipping into the machine language (Assembly Language- which is different for every type of processor). Thus you typed lines of commands as your interface, a Command Line Interface.

[3] obviously the reasons vary depending on the storyteller, for some Kildall was hardheaded and wanted to retain ownership, for others, there was a miscommunication.

[4] the deal allowed MS to sell their own version of it, MS DOS. This will come up in a sec.

this can't be true can it

[sonicfandompolls]

Info and Rules

(There's ways to give more input on a poll than a vote and even a section on ways I made this blog more accessible!)

Ever had a question you wanted to ask the Sonic fandom? Want to answer some Sonic fandom related questions? Or maybe you'd even like to contribute to some poll answers?

Well if you're interested in any of the above, then this blog is the place for you!

Important note: If you'd rather read this without all the colors (except for a few highlights) I will be making a post without them and a link to it at some point. Also note it will probably take me awhile because of technical junk I dont feel like explaining)

Ways to help make this blog more accessible/easier to read below!

Colors: Mostly used for sectioning stuff, but sometimes highlighting.

A Table of Contents at the end of this section.

For people who don't like blocks of text: Any numbers with a .0 (or potentially higher numbers) at the end are continuations of the original number. I've also segmented each section a bit.

For people who aren't able to view poll results: I will reblog the post with the answers and their vote percentage.

For people who don't know what Q&A stands for and/or how it works: Q&A stands for Questions and Answers. It's typically a section for common questions people might have and a way to have them answered without having to ask.

Notes: They're smaller so it's easier to distinguish them. And yes, I purposefully put this one on the bottom so it could be above the note.

Note: If you have any recommendations to make this blog more accessible just tell me. And if you have some sort of problem but can't think of a way to make it accessible, tell me and I'll either think of or make a post in case someone else has an idea.

Table of contents:

Guidelines on how to contribute.

Rules for contributing

Schedule for poll posting and deadlines

Q&A

My main account and what I do/post there (Note: I feel super bad about self promoting but I think it'd be nice to have more people to interact with my Sonic stuff...)

Tags and their meanings

Guidelines on how to contribute

1: For polls, send me an ask (for yes and no) or submission (for answer options if it isnt a simple yes/no) about a question you have and I'll post it here. Anons are welcome!

2: If you want to contribute in another way, when making a poll of my own I will ask for input on the potential answers. And while there will (almost always) be no concrete time frame for how long these inputs will last, it will most likely depend on how many answers I do or don't get.

2.0: Don't worry if you miss out on the chance to input for an answer! If I get enough answers, I will make another poll including the new answers!

Rules for contributing

1: Nothing sexual.

2: Nothing gory.

3: Nothing very gross.

4: No bad kinds of weird.

And as a general rule: No hating, discriminating, or anything like that is allowed. If I see anyone doing any of these things you will be blocked.

Q&A

Q1: Will you post my username if I ask/submit stuff?

A: Nope! Not unless you want me to. And if you send something and use a username, you can opt for me to privately answer your ask/submission once I've posted your poll so you don't have to constantly check the blog!

Q: What if I'm unsure if my ask breaks rules 3 or 4?

A: Juat ask me what it is and I'll let you know if it's acceptable or not. If you're on anon, then you'll know by if I add it to the answer list.

Note: Feel free to ask me questions! Do note that if it's probably good for the Q&A I might post it here. And yes, 1 applies to this too.

Schedule for poll posting and deadlines

Posting Schedule: To be honest, there is no set schedule. I'll try my best to regularly post polls but there are no guarantees. My goal is to at least get one out once within a week/7 days.

Deadline Schedule: Polls will always be open for a week. Input polls have no set deadline besides one day.

My main account and things I do/post there (Note: I feel bad about promoting myself but I just think it'd be nice to have more interaction. And, uh, hey, maybe you'll be interested in some of it...?)

Main account: @cattyanon

What I typically post: Stuff about Sonic, my Sonic AUs, and the occasional link to a Sonic fic on Ao3 by same username as my main.

What I typically reblog: Sonic stuff, Sonic AUs, things I find funny or cute.

Warnings that I know I have: Gore, body horror, and (probably) other horror related stuff. (Note: If you find anything that needs a trigger warning tag, please tell me/link me the post so I can fix it)

Tags and their meanings (Note: From most self explanatory to least self explanatory)

Info post: The tag to find the two Info and Rules posts. The second on being a mostly colorless variation of the original one.

Poll results: The results of poll, as promised.

My poll: A poll that's something I came up with.

Submission poll: A poll that's something I didnt come up with.

Polls: A tag for all of the polls

Poll input: Where I showcase a potential poll and some answers where people can reccomend answers.

There's also just some general tags like: Sonic, character names, Sonic prime spoilers, and things like that.