#<- Feel free to block this tag if you want to avoid this topic entirely

[subway-boss-jericho]

SORRY ABOUT STEADY TRACKS if u want I can… send an ask in about it… if it would help… maybe… 

Going on the coupled (Uncoupled) post- struggling to communicate turning into an Issue that makes it Harder to communicate but then the characters realizing they Really Have To Communicate and Doing so even tho it’s hard is. So good. It’s especially interesting here with emmet kinda dealing with trying to figure out how to reverse the fusion Without any real input from ingo. 

(I do freaking feel you Emmet. Forgetting that people have you Explicit Permission and Freaking out despite being aware they knew the risks. Man. It’s rough.) 

Love seeing stories about their relationship. How much do you love your brother? How well do you know him? Just how far would you go? … could you forgive yourself? Could he..?

Mmmmm tasty. Especially since the answer is often “yes” jejdjdnenidjx

It’s also nice to see a story where initially trying something that seems like a good solution didn’t work! And possibly made the situation worse! (Or perhaps is exactly what they needed to get talking with one another) 

No one is perfect! It’s so fun to see what these two characters who love each other would do. 

On that- I. Feel you incredibly hard about the romantic aspects of “love”. It’s… very sad to see how little people feel friends can do with one another without it being “romantic” in nature. Even more so for siblings. I’ve also written fics where I read it back and I’m like “will people misinterpret this? Will they think that this is wrong?” And it sucks. It really does. (I usually put a “this is Not romantic in nature” and have to trust that people won’t assume things.

“I can't really control what other people will think, say, or do. I just hope they don't get me involved”

as you said, about sums it up.) 

(ok now. Gimme a sec to whip up something for two left hands jejdjsjdnbxns)

Don't worry about it! Firstly, you can do whatever you want forever <3 Secondly, it is never anyone else's fault if my brain switches tracks. I mentioned Coupled (Uncoupled) offhand on a totally unrelated ask and then hyperfixated on them for the rest of the week sdjhgsdg That's just how my brain does stuff sometimes, which is the real reason why working on big long-term projects (in this case, Steady Tracks) take a while. Thirdly, this is the most anyone who doesn't know me personally has ever interacted with any of my not-steady tracks AUs, so please know that I would go through the trenches on your behalf

I got mentally ill again + was busy the next day so I blame my delay in answering this ask on getting so excited that I genuinely didn't know how to respond right away ksjdhgsdgh

So hard to write good conflict! So funny when I look back on how I write conflict and it ends up being inextricably tied to my life experiences 🤣 (wheeze) Art can tell you a lot about the artist?? really? that's crazy who would have guessed /j /s The struggle with him trying to reverse fusion is the first "major arc" that I mentioned on one of the other posts. It's one of the shortest ones, thankfully, yet also has an extremely dense angst content sjkdgsdg Unfortunately it's easy to spiral when you believe everything going wrong is your fault. it's a bit hard for me to talk about much more without starting to spoil the story and I'm trying so hard not to 😂 The love was always there! It always has been and always will be! But Emmet needs to stop feeling guilty so he can accept that love and move on, and Ingo is going to keep doing his best to try and communicate + show support in the meantime.

The splicers initially making things worse is definitely one of the funnest parts of the AU for me :] it was supposed to help Emmet feel more secure, and yet instead it made everything way more complicated + made him feel way less secure... I can't pretend to be normal, I'm very fucked up about them

🤝I won't drag out the romantic/platonic discussion because I know it makes people uncomfortable to discuss- more than fair, it makes ME uncomfortable to discuss -but hell yeah solidarity. It's at least nice to be able to voice my stance on it, since I feel like it's hard to even bring up in the fandom. I love a civil discussion about hard topics :D love setting boundaries. Peace and love

Thank you as always for the asks!! 🌠✨

Coupled (Uncoupled)Masterpost

[narcissisticpdcultureis]

blog info

- always remember to start off your ask with some variation of "npd culture is..." ("npd system culture is..." "npd + bpd culture is..." ect ect).

- people who don't have npd but do have npd traits are welcome to send in submissions.

- this blog is run by one mod and isn't looking for others.

- i open this blog to be a place where egotypicals can learn about the experiences of pwnpd, but urge them to remember this blog will be mostly unfiltered and show the more unpleasant side of mental illness and trauma. if you cannot respect or handle that, leave.

- if you'd like to claim a sign off, refer to this sheet.

- the queue can be long, it may take some time to get to your submission. please be patient with me. i also reserve the right to not post certain things for whatever reason.

- there's also a polish version of this blog: @bycie-narcyzem-to. i don't run that blog. it's been inactive for some time as well.

- our ko-fi! if you like what we do, feel free to leave a tip :) absolutely no pressure

byf

-this blog doesn't have a set dni anymore other than basic criteria, [pd] abuse believers, and transnpd/supporters, but i will block freely.

- i do not want to hear about your abusive relatives with npd, even if you put "but i don't think all pwnpd are abusive!" after it.

- please don't ask me for advice. i'm fine with people asking questions about npd itself, but i may not always answer. keep in mind i'm not a professional, i'm not the end all of information on npd, and it is entirely possible for me to accidentally spread misinformation. if you sent a question that never got answered it's likely i just didn't feel equipped to answer it myself.

-i don't relate to, agree with, or condone the actions of every single submission i post.

notable tags

- info

- resources

- admin lore

- media ; for character who have npd or npd headcanons

- song reccs ; for songs about npd or have npd vibes

- point and laugh at the ableist ; for any hate i decide to respond to, block if you'd like to avoid that

- ableist creators ; for creators who are anti-npd or use stigmatizing language (this is not inherently to "cancel" anyone, i simply believe pwnpd deserve to be warned ahead of time if a creator uses ableist language.)

- supportive creators ; for creators who have explicitly spoken out against anti-npd ableism and shown genuine support for people with npd (people who simply have never spoken on the topic typically do not fall under this tag as there's no way to tell their actual stance)

about the admin ( @doomsdayradio )

- poker, chorus, fate

- genderqueer, they/he + lyr/lyric

- myrrose mspec gaybian

- audhd polyfrag did systsm

- cluster abc

[rainworldconfessions]

people need to make peace with rule 34 of the internet. no amount of hating on nsfw will make it go away, be like a normal person and just block the people who post it +filter tags instead of harassing them. even if it’s of weird fetishes, even if it’s of a ship you hate, hell even if it’s technically morally wrong, you are not superior to an artist just because you told them to kys.

any character you know and love DOES HAVE nsfw drawn of them, it’s just a fact. whether or not this makes whoever drew it a freak, it exists and you can’t do anything about it. suck it up, block, filter out, and go on with your day. the internet is a big, big place, you can find your own space without forcing the entire fandom to cater to your needs.

especially with characters that are canonically adults—if someone wants to draw five pebbles in a compromising position who CARES? if someone says something nsfw about moon who gives a fuck??

learn to cater your internet experience in a way that makes you comfortable WITHOUT infringing on other people’s creative freedoms/simpery/down bad posting etc. some people are freaks and won’t change just because you’re harassing them, some people just find fictional characters hot, and some people just like posting things for the hell of it. and you can’t change that so if you don’t like that you know where the block button is.

porn exists and not liking it is FINE, you can dislike it all you want, feel free to avoid it like the plague, feel free to block any and all nsfw artists you come across, but for the love of god that’s all you have to do. don’t virtue signal and go “oh look how gross” to all your mutuals and friends, just block and go on with your day and don’t dwell on it because at the end of the day this is the internet, this chicken is the size of a house 🐓🏠 , these characters are fictional, and you can turn off your phone and take a break.

sorry. this isn’t just about porn, it’s about content you dislike in general. porn just seems to be the hottest topic (no pun intended), but this applies to any fan content. ships, fanfictions, fanarts, interpretations of fanon and canon, etc. utilize your block button, and use those filter-tag and filter-topic lists in your tumblr settings. mute words on twitter. block people on discord. these functions are rights, not privileges (socmed apps are required by both apple and google app stores to have a block function), that you can use to make your internet experience more comfortable for you both in the rain world fandom and outside of it.

.

[kimisboredd]

D.D | Shikanoin Heizou Smut

tags | degradation, vaginal sex, smut, fingering, mentioned sara, comfort sex, body worship, aftercare, kinda mutual pining but in smut idk, angsty, fluff wc | 3904

I am the thing that you need.

Heizou wasn’t one to fantasize such sexual scenarios.

But the way you were bent over his desk, elbows resting on the table as your free hand gripped a sheet of paper.

He stared at your beauty with ecstasy, eyes burning with desire while his fingers fidgeted the hem of his shirt trying to stop himself from any involuntarily perverted movements occurring.

You were another detective associated with the Tenryou commission, although your skills weren’t as admirable as Heizou’s, it was enough to earn you the title of a detective. Right now, you two were both assigned into solving a case related to military affairs.

He admired you. Platonically and romantically. Heizou loved how dedicated you were to your work, how your personality captures your entire beauty and how your insecurities are still so gorgeous.

He loved your inner, and outer self.

You felt the same way.

You wanted him to be yours, just imagining his hand intertwine with yours even if it’s just from a brush of an accident was enough to make you turn red. You couldn’t describe the feeling of being with him all the time, how warm your heart felt every time he pulled you into a cave when lightning struck while you two went adventuring.

You knew you both shared mutual feelings with each other, however you were too stubborn and shy into confessing first. You wanted to make sure he felt the same way and that you weren’t just mistaken.

Never mind, you were going off topic.

��Should we have a word with the general Sara regarding this matter?” Your words made it’s way to the detective quite frantically with your body slowly collapsing from standing up for so long. He immediately knew you were tired, and so he pushed a free chair around the corner to your direction for you to sit in.

“Right— thanks.” Thanking him in a short manner, you waited for his respond to your question while still signing legal documents. As the pen you were writing with suddenly ran out of ink, Heizou brought you back a new pen from the cup beside you almost instinctively.

You blinked your eyes a couple of times before turning your head towards Heizou.

“Fuck, I can’t even focus when she’s around.” His thoughts suddenly blocked his point of view from making eye contact with you, as he turned his head to avoid your interluding gaze.

“It’s almost like you want me to notice you.” You sneaked in a snarky comment that flew over his head making his eyes lock onto you. His lips parted, breath cold from the cool breeze outside. He was sexually frustrated. Hard to be exact, You didn’t expect a reply from him as you continued signing several different papers until you heard his voice speak up.

“I— do want you to notice me.” his usual tone was shakier than usual.

What did you expect?

You turn your head towards him once more to take another good look at his face, as you were met with a blushing red Heizou. He held onto your wrist for comfort, while his breath pattern fastened. You could tell he was frustrated with something, but you didn’t bother to ask. Just looking at his face already made you red.

It wasn’t like you two never felt this way about each other before. Sure; you had a short accidental make-out session with Heizou not long ago, by accidentally getting too close to his face as he thought you were leaning in for a kiss.

You didn’t fight back however, you were too consumed in his sinful actions where his lips were harshly pressing against yours begging for entrance.

You shook your head out of your lust filled thoughts as you noticed drool spilling from the corners of your mouth.

Continuing your work as if he wasn’t desperately clinging on to you. Heizou knew he looked stupid with his body basically depending on you. Even if he did however, you wouldn’t point it out. In an attempt to somehow convince you, his hands travelled from your wrist down onto your waist rubbing small circles on it gently, almost like massaging it.

You suddenly stopped what you’re doing as you took in his scent. He was so close to you you felt like you were in Heaven, and with him suddenly stroking smooth circles onto your waist only made your situation worse.

You breathed out a shaky moan once his fingers brushed against a certain spot which made him even harder than before.

“You’re so beautiful…” his thoughts accidentally slipped out of his mouth without him noticing. You synced your body to his movements one you heard his compliment, basically grinding down on the chair. It felt like you were drowning in his sinful aura.

The paper that was once preoccupied with your mind was now long abandoned on the table you gripped your hands on.

“Mm…you wouldn’t mind if we had a short break right? I need you right now.” with his tone was much lustful than before, you knew you weren’t that dumb to not get what he was saying. And so you played with whatever he was going for.

“Of course, I’d love too.”

Immediately, he brought both of his hands onto your waist while he made sure you weren’t going to leave. Even if his hands weren’t there, you wouldn’t bother taking a step back from him in the first place. You longed for this moment, to have the detective wrapped around your body and scent and to poison him with your love.

Heizou picked you up in a swift movement to sit you on the table where the documents laid on while he stared deep into your eyes.

His piercing green eyes staring deep into you sent flames into your body. You felt like you were on fire.

“I need to ask you once more, are you really sure you want to see this side of me?” his smooth, delicate fingers fidgeted your hair where his other hand made it’s way onto your cheek, softly caressing it in a gentle manner that somehow was convincing.

You nodded your head without hesitation, while your hands rested on his clothed abdomen.

Heizou smirked into your field of vision, which made you long for him even more. You became more desperate over the time he only caressed you with his skilled hands. You wanted more, and you weren’t afraid to tell him that.

“Heizou.” You called out his name breathily, while he turned his gaze towards you. Oblivious to what you were about to do next, he leaned in closer to get a better look of your face. You took this as the perfect opportunity to harshly press your lips against his, while your hands stroked it’s way back up to his shoulders gripping them.

You were obviously taking the lead here, even though he was the one teasing you non stop. Heizou whimpered into the kiss which gave you more access to explore his mouth while your tongue flicked his.

He was reluctant at first, he wanted to be the one pleasuring you and making you want more. In a result, he pulled away from your kiss leaving you to think you just got rejected.

The wind outside was cold, it was night time and the moonlight radiating his smooth jawline from the window to the closed office only made you appreciate Heizou’s beauty even more. You blinked at him a couple of times, thinking he changed his mind and didn’t actually want this.

You were fine with it, really. It’s not like your heart just shattered in that very moment—

“I want to be the one pleasuring you. Please, let me.” you couldn’t deny him. Even when he had cut off your thoughts to yourself, how could you decline him with such beautiful eyes?

You flashed a faint smile at his sudden choice of words before nodding your head yes once again giving him full consent. His eyes looked glossy, he was so glad he could finally show you what he was capable of.

Not long after, you felt his puffy pink lips capture your neck in an instant. You moaned into his ear as he nipped and bit your skin with such effort, it felt like he had trained all his life for this moment.

Your hands trailed it’s way onto the strands of his red ponytailed hair. You dug your nails deep when his tongue brushed against a sweet spot which made you groan in pleasure. Heizou was delighted when he heard your voice suddenly quiver. He kissed that same spot over and over again making sure to leave a deep, dark colored hickey which everyone could see.

The thought of everyone seeing a mark on your skin made him go insane. He wanted to be yours, he longed for your attention.

Heizou didn’t notice as his hands instinctively travelled from your waist to your lower behalf, clinging desperately on the waistband of your clothing.

You gladly took it off for him, just for him.

The only person who could make you feel this way, the only person you were sure could enhance your pleasure tenfold.

His ear was dangerously close to your mouth, you could praise him right there and he would die of pleasure, but you chose not to. You did want him to take control over you.

Without wasting any precious time, Heizou brushed two of his fingers against your clothed sex which made you shiver intensely. “You’re this wet already? How disgusting. I bet you were already wet when I was staring at you earlier right, whore?” The nickname made your toes curl. You never thought you liked being called a whore before this very moment.

“Look at you, getting so much pleasure from being degraded. I bet you like when other guys do this don’t you?” His fingers dipped inside your damp underwear where your cunt was basically begging for him to enter you. You shook your head impatiently, “No— Only you.” With the few words you muttered out, he was satisfied enough into inserting both of his fingers in your clit at the same time. He found it so fast, you felt like he was skilled with other women which made your skin crawl with jealousy.

Archons, what were you even thinking. You knew he was never in a relationship in the first place. So why was he so good with his fingers?

His dick practically throbbed hearing your slick trash around inside you as he swirled his fingers inside you slowly, Very slowly.

The many words you could speak you could only let out his name and a soft moan whenever he split his fingers in a scissor like motion.

However, his pace was too slow to make you cum. You were basically grinding on his hand hoping he could fasten his speed. To your dismay, he didn’t; in fact he did the complete opposite.

“Awe,” Heizou purred staring into your mindless expression. “Do you want me to go faster?” He mocked you while he continued moving his fingers in a turtle like speed.

“Please— please. Please.” You pleaded for him, your hands gripping his shoulders tightly. Your mind was fucked with nothing but Heizou taking control of your lust filled thoughts. Fuck, it felt so good yet so painful.

“Then I’ll give you what you want.”

His speed fastened tenfold, practically helping you chase your long awaited release. Not only did the speed fastened, but so did your pleasure once you felt his fingers rub your sweet spot deep inside you.

You moaned his name without a care in the world, your throat dry from earlier and once you finally felt the coil in your stomach form, you knew it was too late to go back.

“Heizou, I’m gonna—“ you couldn’t take it anymore, you broke the prolonged eye contact as you released all over his fingers while the sound of squelching echoed against the room’s closed walls. It was nice at first, having Heizou fuck you throughout your high but it started becoming uncomfortable once you calmed down for a bit. Tears started to prick at the corners of your eyes once overstimulation finally hit you.

“What’s wrong? I thought you wanted me to go faster. Don’t go back on your word you stupid bitch.” Heizou’s free hand roamed your entire body, finding every sweet spot you could offer to the man.

“Fuck, you can still take more right? You wouldn’t give up just with a single orgasm right hoe?” as his words surrounded your head, you felt another finger being inserted into you which helped you reach your second peak faster. This time, Heizou was giving it his all into pleasuring you just by fingering you. You thought he would stop there when you felt his familiar fingers leave you.

You were so wrong.

His mouth drooled just by taking a short glance of your underwear, extremely damp with your fluids.

Heizou looked at you, then back to your lower region where his gaze locked. You both were still fully clothed even after this whole process, and you wanted nothing more than to take his shirt and your bottoms off.

You tugged on his white shirt drenched in sweat, where as his hair’s front hair strands were sticking onto his sticky forehead. You couldn’t even focus anymore, the air conditioned room was so cold even if it was at the highest degrees it could reach.

“Off, please.” the two words you exclaimed gladly pleased the detective as he started rolling his shirt up his head, revealing beautiful lightly toned abs that had marks from his last adventure. You couldn’t help but stare, who wouldn’t? His face was beautiful, and his chest made it even better.

You didn’t notice it but, his face turned red when he caught you staring at him. Even if he was the one in control, even if he was the one degrading you.

Your fingers ghosted along his dried marks, which made Heizou suck in a sharp breath when he felt your sincere touch. “You’re really perfect, you know that? Even when you have all these marks, I could still picture your beauty effortlessly.” He never thought he’d ever heard someone say that to him his entire lifetime, he started to appreciate you even more after your specific praised to him.

Sharing a short moment on intimacy, he quickly captured your body for a short embrace. He hugged you tightly making sure you won’t disappear from his sight.

“Aha, Heizou don’t worry I’m here. Do you like me that much you don’t want me to leave?” A quick tease from you made Heizou’s face that was once buried in your neck, look up directly at you.

“I love you so much you wouldn’t even know.”

Suddenly, you were snapped back into reality. This is real, he felt the same way. He was making you cum because he loved you, he was degrading you because he loved you, and he was doing all of this because he loved you so dearly.

You quickly kissed him on the lips lightly, accepting his confession while waiting for him to succumb and take dominance. Heizou felt your wet lips press against his, he couldn’t help but let the uncontrollable tears roll down his cheek when he felt your kiss.

You pulled away from him as you noticed his lips chasing yours when you did, you laughed at this. “Don’t cry, Heizou. I’m yours now.” he fluttered his eyes open flustered by your voice. “I’m not— crying.” He fought back your dominating aura by capturing both of your wrists with one hand in an instant. He pinned you on top of the table, with your back lying against the cold wood.

You noticed you still had your top on, without further much thinking you took it off in front of Heizou who’s showing no sign of resistance. He quickly fondled with your breasts just as you took off your bra, gently massaging your chest with his free hand. “I’ll make you feel good, I promise.” Who were you to deny? He was already making you feel so good even when you haven’t felt him inside you yet.

He took a glimpse of your expression, eyes rolled back as your chest was heavily breathing up and down. He could feel your heart beat intensely.

Heizou smiled, before letting go of your wrists freeing you to let your hands explore every part of him.

You didn’t bother talking anymore, all you wanted was to feel him close against you muttering degrade’s into your ear. Silly you to be so drunk with his pure love.

Not long after toying with your breasts, Heizou decided you had enough teasing. He properly prepared himself, mentally and physically. First, he couldn’t believe he could finally claim you as yours after being your secret admirer in secret for so long. Second, he wanted to make you feel good and hoped that this would be your most unforgettable moment of your entire lifetime.

Without wasting any more time, he took off his knee length Hakama pants, as well as his Haori coat tied around his waist. Heizou wanted to enhance your pleasure tenfold. He craved for this, but at the same time he felt scared. He knew you were there to re assure him everything was going to be fine, he just didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable.

With his heart in his throat, you impatiently waited for the detective to finish preparing, mostly mentally. “Heizou?” Calling out his name did nothing, you had already took off everything you had leaving you completely exposed to him. But you didn’t care, you felt comfortable with him.

“Heizou, I’m fine. I wouldn’t be willingly doing this if I was uncomfortable right?” You could read the expression written all over his face that read “What if she’s uncomfortable? What if she doesn’t like it?”

You grew tired of waiting, and eventually stood up from the table you sat on, pushing Heizou onto the chair from where you sat on earlier.

He didn’t comment on your sudden action, you straddle his lap with your bare cunt grinding onto him, he was too consumed in his own thoughts before you grabbed his dick in your hand, rubbing it against your slicked, wet sex.

Heizou immediately snap out of it, realizing you took matters into your own hand. He watched you in amusement as you tried pleasuring yourself with his red, hardened dick that was leaking with pre cum from earlier.

Suddenly, he had an idea. “Do you want me to watch?” His question was out of the blue, you didn’t reply due to shame as to the fact you felt his gaze linger on you, watching your every move as you tried pleasuring both him and you.

It wasn’t long before he was the one getting impatient eventually lifting your chin up between his index and thumb.

“I said, do you want me to watch?” Heizou mockingly repeated his question desperate for a response. You waited for a while, before realizing he wasn’t going to give up if you didn’t bother being verbal with your movements. And so you nodded your head slowly.

“Good, you better make me feel good you slut.” He choked on the last of his words, almost like he was hesitant. However, you loved the degredation. And with the sudden whimper you let out at his nickname, he immediately melted into your touch finding out about your newly found kink.

Not long after, you finally thrusted his dick into your clit slowly, making sure to not force yourself as you just came for two times a while ago. Heizou’s moans weren’t unheard by you, his grunts when you slowly took him in as you clenched around him was so pleasing to hear. That you were the one pleasuring him.

“Fuck—“ curses took up his low breathe when he felt himself fully enter you, gripping you by the waist tightly. You wrapped your hands around his neck, slowly pushing in every moment or so.

Tears started to prick the corners of your eyes, the pleasure and pain were mixing to fill a lust clouded element that could fully fill you up entirely. You held onto him tighter when you felt his tip brush against a certain spot that made your legs go numb.

“You want me to move?” Heizou was obviously asking you sincerely, his words turned from harsh names into praises that made you feel things you never felt before. You muttered a quick yes into his neck without hesitation, as you suddenly felt him thrust into you harshly.

“I’ve been so desperate for you, ever since I first laid my eyes on you I could never go pale watching you stare at me. It was always you who made me blush.” his words were cut off in between with moans and whimpers that exhaled into your ear, but you still got his message. The sounds of skin slapping, bodies colliding took up the entire room as the sounds bounced off the walls.

He caught your lips in a sloppy kiss, pulling one hand down from his neck to the side of your collided bodies, to intertwine his hands with yours lovingly.

He thrusted into the same spot he hit earlier, where it made you moan his name at the peak of pleasure. You felt like you were in heaven with him, it felt so good you wanted more of him.

“You like that huh? Being filled up with my cock, and not having to beg for release? Lazy shit.” he exclaimed against the kiss as you felt like you could cum on the spot just by hearing his dirty words. Your hair was all over the place, you couldn’t even see anything with your eyes squinted almost shut.

It felt like hours he does this, thrusting into you suddenly before drowning out your moans with his lips.

“Fuck, I’m so close. Just a little more.” Heizou kissed your forehead softly mixing in his subtle scent, as you felt your high approaching you rapidly with him thrusting in and out of you. He harshly gripped your hands, intertwining his fingers with yours as he dug it against the wet chair covered in fluids. Your thighs started to tremble as you felt him pull out of you when you started to cum, he stroked his dick a few more times finally reaching his climax and spilling all over the floor.

You took this as a moment to breathe, collapsing your body against his as Heizou hugged you tightly satisfied with what just happened.

“You okay?” he asked with much concern, brushing the front strands of your hair that was sticking onto your forehead with sweat, kissing it along with your nose once more. You sighed in exhaustion wanting nothing more than to feel his body against yours while you rest.

He looked for a box of tissue around the table, successfully finding one and reaching over it to wipe the sweat and cum over your body, and in between your thighs where the sensitive area was.

Heizou looked for a piece of clothing that wasn’t disgustingly thrown onto the floor, his shirt was still on the table crumpled up and all tangled. He lifted you up from his lap to sit on a cleaner chair, the one he sat on earlier’s discussion. He kissed your lips gently as you were fast asleep from the sudden event, while his shirt was now on you.

“I love you” his lips were pressed against your earlobe while he whispered those words so softly making sure not to wake you up from your slumber.

LIKE THIS FOR MORE!!! #SUBSCRIBE

[logan-inquiries]

Salutations.

After discussing with Virgil and Patton, I have found it may be... entertaining, to join in on this ask blog phenomenon.

I will assist in whichever way I can. I may not be the most qualified in areas of emotion, but I can assure you, if you're looking for a more logical outlook on a situation, I would be more than happy to give you advice, or lend an ear if you need.

To ensure this remains organized, I have the following tags:

#ask-logan: General submission questions.

#logical-advice: Answers given to clarify a situation; posts where I provide advice.

#ooc-post: Posts from Mod Blue.

#logical-reassurance: Answers given to help reassure or ground the asker.

#logan-posting: Answers regarding me, personally, whether about what coffee I'm drinking or what I think of a certain book; asks regarding the other sides.

#logan-facts: Discussion of interesting topics.

#slight-conflict: An RP tag for posts that imply or include fighting with other RP blogs. If you're here for a good time, block this tag.

Any trigger tags or content warnings will be included for blocking purposes as well.

Regulations on asks are below the readmore. I hope you all find this amicable, and I shall see you in the next one.

-- Logic | Logan S.

--

Hi! Call me Blue. I (the mod) use any pronouns. This is entirely for fun, so asks may be slightly delayed, due to life stuff.

Mod Blue is in CST! If I don't get to your ask in a timely matter, either I'm sleeping or I haven't been to my phone in quite a bit. I will be with you shortly.

Any interactions with other RP blogs are platonic. I am aromantic, and prefer to avoid direct ships. If you receive an ask from this blog, assume the connotation is platonic.

Please avoid asking me, directly or indirectly, about suicide or suicidal thoughts.

Please avoid directly asking me about self harm. Indirectly, such as asking me to walk you through dressing a small wound, is alright.

I reserve the right to delete an ask I am uncomfortable with. If I receive content I haven't declared uncomfortable, I will delete the ask and add it here as a preference.

I'm happy to help ground you, or give you a distraction or redirection, if you need--just ask.

I am sadly not a genius. However, I'm happy to do research into areas of questioning, if having someone new explain something to you will assist. I love explaining and researching, and I'm pursuing education, so reach out!

The characterization of this Logan may be less purely logical--I want to explore a bit more of the reassuring and calm side as well. So if you're looking for hugs, I can and will still provide them.

Feel free to ask about what Logan is doing, or how he's interacting with the other sides! Fun facts are a specialty of mine as well.

I believe that's it for now, so--asks are now open!

[starry-headspace]

Welcome to my blog, this is where I will post stuff about our headspace. This is one of our side blogs as Starfall System, please keep that in mind!

My name is Hartley! I am the system’s headspace caretaker. I am basically in charge of the entire headspace and it’s inner workings. I am 19 years old (not bodily), will be turning 20 next year. I use He/Him pronouns, and I am a proud bisexual 😎. I also like the color purple, and I have a weird accent for some reason. I don’t usually front often but when I do, I will make sure to add stuff on here. I might have Silas post stuff here for me incase I am busy with something in our headspace (I usually tend to our garden and try to search for the actual entrance to the Backrooms because no one knows where it is). If you have any questions feel free to leave an ask!

Tags:

#hartleyposts - for normal posts

#importantstarry - important posts

#sillyboihartley - silly posts

#do not reblog - Posts that you shouldn’t reblog unless I give you explicit permission

Our other blogs:

OC Diary (MAIN): @francisdiary3972

System Blog: @starfall-sys

DNI

- Pro endos and endos, tulpas, willogenics, or other nontraumagenic systems. I’m personally okay with endo neutrals but please be respectful

- NSFW accounts of any kind, accounts supporting harmful paraphilias (pedo, zoo, etc)

- Anti self dx, fakeclaimers, and accounts that spread misinformation on disorders

- People who are blatantly faking a disorder. Get out

- ANYONE WHO SIDES WITH OUR EX. (Check out main system blog for more info)

- Zionists, pro Israeli, pro life, incels

- Homophobic, transphobic, aphobic, biphobic, enbyphobic, racist, sexist, or any sort of hate accounts. I will not tolerate ANY of that BS here. Instant block if I see it.

- People who start drama for no good reason. Respectfully fuck off.

- Basic DNI

Rules of this blog (may be slightly different than what we have on our system blog):

- No overswearing

- Nothing NSFW please unless it’s related to the topic

- Please use tone tags when necessary

- Please be nice

- Don’t traumadump here. Occasional vents are fine but this isn’t the place for that so please avoid it

- No spam

- NO POLITICS WHATSOEVER. This is a harsh no. Only exception that I will allow is if it’s related to social justice (ie, protests against social issues, protesting against genocide, awareness on human rights and protest for human rights, that sort of stuff). Please do limit this though, as this blog is not for that kind of stuff

- Don’t reblog a post if I say not to reblog it. You can like any of my posts but there may be some posts that I may not want circulating on other people’s accounts unless I know them from our system blog or elsewhere. It’s just for my comfort. This isn’t a hard rule, I will make exceptions if needed.

[kwanisms]

I'm back bitches

We have 12 days left of September, which means Spooky Month officially starts soon & you know what that means.

🌕 Kinktober 2023 Creature Feature 🌕

But it also means that the long overdue sequel to Did You Hear That? is coming! She's a hefty girl with just over 18k words so desktop may be the best option to read and reblog as mobile has issues with anything over 10k.

It also means, the three spin-off pieces for the Library of Illusion are coming as well as a little piece I've written for Joshua. All in time for Spooky Month!

Along with Kinktober I have a few announcements. See more under the cut!

First, I have made the decision to add NCT (all sub-units), Day6, Super Junior, & Wonho to my archive. I no longer feel inspiration to write for them and do not want anyone waiting for content for them. I hate to leave Day6's Creature Feature unfinished but, sometimes that's the way things happen. This decision is final but I reserve the right to change my mind at any time.

From now on, I will be writing exclusively for Seventeen, Stray Kids, Ateez, & TXT. My rules for Kai (TXT) remain the same: absolutely no smut. That is my son. My child. I will also only write for Yesung and Z.Tao when the inspiration comes. My brainrot for both of those men is insane.

In addition, as my masterlists for these groups continue to grow, I will be creating masterlists for individual members.

That being said, I obviously won't take down any of my posts for these new archived groups, but I will change the masterlists just a bit so navigation is a tad easier.

Second, I will start using my other blogs effective immediately. I have a lot of sideblogs.

I will be using my main to reblog everything but my writing. All pictures, gifsets, etc will be posted there from now on.

I will also be using my recs blog, which I plan to redo entirely with a new tag system.

Third, I want to remind you all that my inbox here is always open. I love receiving mail. I love talking & interacting with you.

The anon feature is on so feel free to use it however, if you use it for hate, I will turn it off again. Don't be a coward. If you're gonna be mean, don't hide behind the anon feature. Face me instead.

Fourth, I will be reviving ask games and I encourage you to participate! It can be a lot of fun.

On the topic of asks, all asks not related to ask games will be answered every Monday and tagged as ' mailbox monday 💌'

Lastly, a friendly (and not so friendly reminder respectively) that empty blogs, meaning blogs without headers, pfp, posts, etc will be soft-blocked.

Soft-blocking is blocking and unblocking a blog so it forces them to unfollow you. I will be keeping track of the blogs I soft-block in a Google Sheet and if you follow me again without at least changing your pic and reblogging a few posts, you will be hard blocked.

Hard blocking means you will not be able to interact with my content (liking or reblogging).

Now for the not so friendly reminder;

if your blog does not have an age indicator on it (i.e the year you were born, your age, etc) YOU WILL BE SOFT-BLOCKED AS WELL. IF YOU DO NOT ADD AN AGE AFTER THAT, YOU WILL BE HARD BLOCKED. I will also be keeping track of these blogs. Ageless blogs and minors are not welcome on my blog. If you have turned 18 this year, PLEASE CHANGE YOUR AGE INDICATORS ON YOUR BLOG TO AVOID BEING BLOCKED.

If I find out a follower has lied about their age, I will be adding you to a blacklist I share with Cult of Dionysus. Keep in mind, we do not seek out minors to add them to the list, we only add minors that have interacted with our nsfw content. MINORS: PLEASE DONT IGNORE OUR BOUNDARIES. If we say do not interact with our content, we mean it. We have these boundaries for a reason.

I hope you look forward to what I have planned this month and please enjoy the spooks, the thrills, and of course, the smut. Thank you for your continued support as always. See you soon~ ʕ ◦`꒳´◦ʔ — booki。

[oozeandgoo-art]

Links, tag system, and additional info.

I try to avoid reblogging things to this account - that's what my main blog is for. If you see a reblog on here, feel free to let me know so I can delete it!

I handle all commissions through my professional email, artcommissionsbyred (at) gmail (dot) com. For the foreseeable future, my commissions are closed.

If you would like a heads-up on upcoming commission availability, please subscribe to my mailing list here! (Mailing list subscribers also get earlier or sometimes even exclusive access to things like limited-time slots, which I sometimes do when I'm hard up for quick cash.)

Outside Links:

Twitter: OozeAndGoo_Art

Ko-Fi: OozeAndGoo_Art

Bigcartel: OozeAndGooArt

SubscribeStar (like Patreon): Ooze and Goo Art

Wordpress: OozeAndGooArt

FurAffinity: TheRedDragon13

Print and Original Art Storefront: OozeAndGoo-Art on ArtPal

Main Blog: @bitegore

Rules of Engagement:

This is a sideblog. I have a lot of people blocked from my main blog, none of which are blocked from this blog. It's okay if you've been blocked from my main for you to reblog from this sideblog - I have genuinely thousands of people blocked, for reasons that are arcane and sometimes really stupid even to me, and if you behave in a rude or unpleasant manner I'll just block you from this blog when it comes up. Go nuts.

This blog contains quite a bit of adult-oriented art, all of which is both marked "mature" using Tumblr's content settings and tagged accordingly. Please browse at your own discretion, and remember to use filtering options where necessary.

In general, off-topic commentary in the reblogs, tags, and replies is totally fine and I like seeing what you guys have to say even when it's not directly about the art. That being said, please do not talk about either how much you hate the character in the art or think the art looks bad. "If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything" is a good rule to live by, and also it's annoying and rude. Likewise, don't put discourse on my posts. I don't want to hear about it. If you have an opinion about the characters or art that is negative, feel free to make your own post! You can even add my art to it (with a link to this page) if you really want to talk about the art in particular.

Please repost my work only with credit (a link back to this page). Use of my art for avatars, header/sidebar banner images, edits, remixes, collages, and related is entirely okay as long as credit is given. My canon character redesigns are also completely free to use and no credit is required as long as you've done the actual drawing yourself. If you're using my art for something, I'd like to hear about it, but it's not required - it's just really flattering. Please do not remove my captions, however. Just make a repost.

If you want to print one of my pieces for personal use, feel free to reach out to me! I will happily re-color/re-balance the colors so that it will print nicely if I have the time, free of charge. If you want one of my pieces tattooed, go for it, consider this blanket permission. I'd be surprised and I'd love to hear about it, and also I have no qualms at all. Go for it.

Everything is okay to tag as kin/id/etc or claim as muse references. Have fun with it, I don't care. This goes for my ocs too, I really couldn't care less. However, if you disagree on characterization from what I've drawn, please don't tell me about it.

Obligatory "don't be bigoted." This is a racism, sexism, homophobia, classism, xenophobia, religious discrimination, and everything else-free zone. I'm not perfect, and therefore if I've created something that comes over wrong, you are more than welcome to voice your opinion on that, but please approach me in private first*, and message me on my main blog rather than the sideblog as I actually check that account.

Feel free to ask me to tag for more than I currently tag for- either for search reasons or to be able to more easily filter things. I may refuse to use certain tags at my discretion.

-

Tags:

content warnings: all content warnings begin with the phrase "contents" to help disambiguate them from generic phrases.

#contents: a little raunchy for tumblr - not quite dirty, but still running on adult themes. Rated pg-13 instead of nc-17.

#contents: not safe for Tumblr - the Naughty stuff. All should be marked mature already.

#contents: blood - has blood

#contents: gore - has organic/meat gore

#contents: robogore - has robot gore, presented like something other than organic flesh

#contents: death - someone's dead on screen

#contents: flashing - something in the image flashes in a way that may not be safe for photosensitive viewers.

#contents: dubious or nonexistent consent - there is sex or sex acts of dubious or explicitly nonconsensual nature happening on screen.

#contents: all edge and no point - general assorted tag for finding things that are just really edgy for no good reason. suicide jokes and torture and that sort of thing.

fandom-specific tags:

#transformers - transformers art, including humanformers. At this time I don't tag continuity.

#macaddam - safe-for-work transformers art (for search discovery)

#valveplug - spike and valve NSFW transformers art

#plug and play - cable-play NSFW transformers art

#sparkplay - spark-play NSFW transformers art

#humanization - a character that isn't normally a human, depicted as one.

#rukaan and #deer - Fields of Valhalla (deviantart ARPG) art, mostly depicting fantasy deer creatures. (#deer is there for search discovery and being easy to remember; "rukaan" is the actual name of the fantasy species.)

#dragon - there is a dragon. everyone likes those

#scalie - anthro reptiles - in this case, basically all dragons.

#oc - original characters. Everyone's got em, right?

[character names] - tagged as needed for search purposes. Characters with multiple names may or may not be disambiguated at essentially random. OCs are also tagged by name.

personal navigation:

#red redesign g1 stunticons - my stunticon fan redesigns. sometimes you don't want to see fan redesigns, so now it can be filtered - without having to filter anyone else's stuff, even!

#au: androidformers - the specific humanoid-android designs for the transformers G1 "humanformers" au I have lying around.

#fursona - this character is one of my fursonas. Typically this just refers to Taz.

#mass post - if there's a bunch of pictures in one post because I don't think they can really stand on their own merits or are part of a sequence, this lets you filter that away.

#closerverse - art for a personal original universe.

#self-reblog - posts I've reblogged from this account to this accuont again. Sparing at most.

art navigation:

#background - art with a significant focus on the background or scenery. This may include photo overpaintings where the background is significantly relevant even if I didn't paint the background by hand.

#monochrome - art in monochrome - may include duochrome (two-color) work. This tag used to be "black and white" - older pieces may still be tagged with that instead.

#lineart - art that is just relatively clean lines

#doodle - unfinished art with a focus on round, smooth lines and cute shapes

#sketch - unfinished art with more jagged shapes and realistic proportions

#traditional media - art made in "real life", typically with some element of digital color or retouching anyway.

#3d - art that uses some element of 3d renders in it, either as part of a painting that was then painted over or as a whole 3d render without painted-on effects.

#photo overpainting - art where I saw a cool photo and painted something into it without repainting the entire photo from scratch, so large chunks were not made by me.

#animation - animated work (typically short looping gifs), stuff where the characters move

#animated effects - animated work where elements move, but the characters are static - flickering light effects, stuff like that.

#meme redraw - art made in the style of a meme. Sometimes this is entirely redrawn and sometimes it's a photo overpainting.

#gift art - art made for other people for free or with minimal direction

#commission - art made on commission with significant input from the client

#favorite - something I've done that I personally particularly like

*Why do this in private? There are a number of reasons: the first, and most relevant, that it means other people aren't going to randomly jump in and change the subject, so we can have an actual conversation rather than something that comes over more like a random accusation I may not fully understand out of the blue. Secondly, I have a solid handful of followers that I expect would probably defend me, and you don't need people jumping down your throat for "attacking" a person they like, especially if you're right but even if I think you're wrong. I also don't want to deal with that. Finally, I don't like being stuck between trying to understand more and feeling like I have to "save face" because the latter is bad for actually learning and growing as a person. I - of course - still do my best to learn in public, but without the pressure of a significant amount of outside observers it's easier for me to form an initial response and have a normal conversation. You can always take it public later, if you're convinced I've done something wrong and won't make amends. At that point I'm sure we're just going to be enemies so asking you not to is gonna go nowhere lmao. I take bigotry and my own biases seriously, but it's possible that after we discuss and I do some of my own research, we may come to different conclusions as to the relative problems with a certain depiction, discussion, or behavior. This is a normal part of socializing. Please give me the grace of holding a conversation with me first before jumping to getting on my case publicly. (If you're scared of reprisal, first of all, don't be because I don't like to do that, but secondly, you can just make a throwaway account to message me with. It's easy.)

[sanguineserrations]

𝕴𝖙'𝖘 𝕹𝖔𝖙 𝖄𝖔𝖚, 𝖄𝖔𝖚 𝖀𝖓𝖉𝖊𝖗𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖓𝖉, 𝕴𝖙'𝖘 𝕸𝖊. 𝕴 𝕳𝖆𝖛𝖊 𝕾𝖙𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖆𝖗𝖉𝖘.

This blog is 21+. Astarion is a character whose arc deals with trauma and other themes of an adult nature. As such, RP featuring him will likely delve into these topics. It is not appropriate for minors. I am an adult and I do not feel comfortable RPing this character with anyone under 21, please respect that. If you'd like to RP with me but don't want to see any of my posts containing more adult plot either block the tag #NSFW or check the tags before opening a post with a "Read More".

Don't message me wanting to write smut or solely to ship with me. I write to develop characters and have plot, if there's a chemistry between our characters the plot may go that direction, but only if both mun want this and discuss it OOC prior.

This blog will contain spoilers. Fav my promo post and come back after finishing the game if you want to avoid those.

This is a multiverse blog. I may write using one version of Astarion with you and write with another Vanilla Astarion with someone else. Vanilla Astarion's actions are those of an entirely different person in an unrelated plot arc altogether. I may use the same Astarion in interconnected plot arcs between different characters- to avoid confusion when a new AU Astarion is created he will be added to my Verses page along with his title and a short description, and the title of that Astarion will be in that post's tags. Additionally, lore for my Astarions will not always match canon game lore- otherwise it is impossible to world build or create new plot.

The mun is not the muse/ Muses used as puppets for mun abuse will not be tolerated. Astarion has done horrible things in canon, and is assuredly to do this in plots on this blog. He might say or do unkind things to your muse if it is within his character motivations to do so. On the flip side of that coin, RPing a character does not give a mun free reign to be an absolute bastard to mun using them as a puppet for their own actions to avoid consequence, take passive aggressive actions out on another mun through their muse, or trauma dump to an unwilling participant. While our characters may be allies, lovers, or enemies- the person on the other side of the computer screen is your writing partner whom should be appreciated and respected as you'd want to be.

No Godmodding. This includes auto-hitting, your character knowing things they shouldn’t that was discussed ooc, or RPing my muse's actions without prior permission. (ie. if you want to say your muse shoves mine down and holds his throat without waiting for my full RP response you can send a quick chat message to me to make sure I'm okay with it rather than auto-hitting.) I will usually write passive interactions (i.e. "He reached to take her hand".) and you can write if that succeeded in your reply, ("She pulled away with a grimace." or "She smiled as she felt his fingers intertwine with hers.) If I accidentally write a direct action with your muse, (i.e. "He grabbed her hand.") you can either treat it as passive in your response or message me and I'll edit my post.

This blog writes in third person. It's easier for both me and my partner to write a story together this way. It's very jarring and difficult for me to write with a partner who writes in first person, since I'd be then reading their response first person as their character. If you write with me please also write third person.

Please give thoughtful responses not just reactionary ones. When I respond I will do my best to respond to the prompts given, but also give you tidbits to work with when moving the plot forward. I ask you please do the same, I do not want to be a content-generating machine.

This blog uses curtain calls. Not really feeling a plot anymore but want to give it a good ending rather than leave it or your partner hanging? Just ask for a curtain call in 3, 2, or 1 responses each. Using curtain calls, both partners know how many responses they have left to bring their side of the plot to a close and no guilt they don't want to continue writing that particular story arc, only the satisfaction of seeing their plot through to a solid ending.

Anyone can reblog art, promo, a-muse-ments, and non-rp posts which is appreciated! If you want to reblog art from an RP thread please put it in a new post and tag me- then you don’t disrupt the RP and others can see where it came from if they’d like to see more. Please do not reblog RPs you are not a part of as this makes it difficult for the writers to keep track of whose turn it is to respond. If you really like an RP and want to share it make a link to the title tag in your own post. Please don't join closed RPs. You can respond in character to #Open starters, #Asks, or #aMUSEments. Not sure? Send me a chat message and I'll let you know if you can reblog/respond in character to a post. (If it isn't an active RP between me and a partner it's almost always okay.)

Want to plot together? Send me a chat message! I don't bite without asking first.

[janthesevenette]

You know what, I actually have more to say on this:

It’s natural to feel upset, angry, and sacred regarding all the terrible things happening all over the world right now. In fact, those feelings are vitally important to have, to prevent yourself from becoming numb and desensitized to tragedy. But if all you ever feel is upset, angry, and scared, and if all you can ever think about is The Bad Stuff, and if you truly want humanity to go extinct because you believe that humans are inherently evil, and if you genuinely believe that society will collapse in the near future… that’s not a natural response to current events. That’s depression, and it’s caused by a chemical imbalance in your brain, not by current events.

If you’re struggling with doomerism of this degree, I would urge you to seek professional help, if it’s within your means. But if you’re unable to do so, I have a few suggestions based on some things that helped me escape the trap of nihilism:

Opening Up: Confide in a loved one who you trust to support you about how you’re feeling, and do not spare them a single gory detail. This is also a good resource on alternatives to therapy.

The News: Schedule one day a week where you don’t look at any source of news about current events, from the moment you wake up to the moment you go to sleep. I promise you are not a bad person if you aren’t 100% tuned in to every single issue all of the time.

Online Spaces: Leave every single group/forum that doomer-posts, even the ones you have friends in because your mental health comes first. Block tags—yes, even the ones that you think would make you a horrible person for blocking—and people liberally, and unsubscribe from downer YouTube channels, no matter how informative they are. Join groups/forums with an explicit focus on positivity. This is a great list of positive subreddits. Join online communities centered around aspects of your life that are inherently positive, such as a hobby, a fandom you love, or niche scientific topic that fascinates you. Avoid online communities centered around aspects of your life that are NOT inherently positive, such as illnesses/disabilities and political beliefs.

Distraction: It’s a cliche piece of advice, but learning a new skill is a great way to ground yourself in the present and focus on what you can control. Pick up a new hobby, or learn a new language, or reorganize your entire bedroom, or any other simple activity that takes place entirely offline.

Community: It’s another cliche, but getting involved in your local community really does help ground yourself. If you’re in school/university, join a low-commitment club with a flexible schedule. If you’re not in school/university, get a membership ship to your local library. See if they have a book club you can join, or if you can volunteer there, or simply go to mingle with the other patrons in your free time.

Nature: Spend some time away from urbanized areas. It doesn’t need to be a full-hiking trail—you could go the lake at your local park, or literally just wander through a patch of forest on the side of the road.

If you can rediscover your love for this planet and the people on it, you will find that it’s worth fighting for. And if you join the fight, we’ll be one step closer to wining.

Anyway, not-so-friendly reminder that nihilism/doomerism/accelerationism is a conspiracy theory meant to keep people complacent and docile in the event of an authoritarian regime, and the online Left really needs to start shunning these groups with the same vehemence that we shun radfem/terf groups.

The biggest threat to systemic evil is hope, and this nonsense “the world will never get better, so why bother trying to make it better” ideology literally exists to serve those systems. The doomerism movement is pro-capitalist, pro-fascist, pro-authoritarianism, etc. because they accept these systems as inherent to the nature of humanity, unable to be changed… which is exactly what the fascists running the system want. After all, why resist the rise of evil if evil is always inevitable? Why fight to make the world a better place if the world is just going to end soon anyway? Why not just stand aside and let the authoritarians do their thing? It doesn’t even matter anyway, right?

The point is, the Left is far too tolerant of doomerism, and it’s driving me insane.

[subway-boss-jericho]

(Art anon… hammer anon? This is going to be funny when I inevitably post that art (I am actively making sketches help))

Oooo I freaking. Love it when one delves into the Implications. Like- both parties agreed to this, but neither knew what it would actually Be Like and now they are just showing their Whole Soul to another person and it can be absolutely Terrifying! But they are going to communicate anyway. Because they care about each other enough to. Because the other person is Worth It.

(also love that Emmet asked ingo if he wanted to fuse so they could never be apart again and ingo said Yes. This means so much to me. I don’t even have words I’m just. *gestures franticly*)

(I am Very Incredibly Normal about Diamond Crossing. So Normal)

I love this. Shaking coupled (uncoupled) so hard now. I think it’s actually Really Cool how a lot of the people in this fandom are like “yes the twins have a good relationship but that’s because they Talk with one another and seek to Understand each other” fusion is just another Fantastic way to symbolize that! (And ough I would Love to see more less acknowledged emotions and relationships there too. It’s So Much Fun to play around with)

not! Asking you to spoil the whole plot! I’d freaking Love to read whatever fic you write about it =D

feel free to continue to use my asks to Absolutely Go Off. it is verrry fun to read!

Yep (nodding my head) they DEFINITELY communicate with eachother. That definitely happens and nothing goes wrong. Trust /lh

Read: They Get There Eventually.

My favorite part about Coupled (Uncoupled) is that fusion is not the magical cure-all to Emmet's anxieties that he wanted it to be. It makes the story much more nuanced and fun to explore, although it does also make it much more sad and upsetting before it eventually gets a lot brighter. And like I mentioned on the master post, he is Not stuck like that. Yknow. Forever :]

(Rest of the Jericho-typical ramble continued below!)

(insert crying emoji that isn't on tumblr) Yeah. It means a lot to me too. The thing that hurts most about the story, which I will ""spoil,"" is that Emmet does kinda blame himself for things "going wrong" (read: not being how he expected), and by extension in his upset + anxiety, he forgets that Ingo explicitly agreed to try it with him. The first + second major arcs in coupled uncoupled are the hard emotional parts that make the later resolutions feel all the more powerful and unshakable, but even in the beginning, Ingo had always agreed to at least try. Even before things are resolved, the core emotional foundation of this domino effect chain was still always trust and love.

High fives in So Normal About Diamond Crossing. we're so normal.

You inadvertently inspiring me to ramble about Coupled (Uncoupled) has had the accidental effect of making me think about it a Lot. I'm so fucking glad someone else is shaking them besides me (and again, the few close friends I talk about my AUs with,) because holy SHIT I want to talk about them + share their story + make their story + draw them all the time so bad it makes me look STUPID but I have also failed to talk about them Anywhere online before this point. It's one of the stories I'm the most tight-lipped about since I actually Want To Write It, downside of that is that I, by extension, never get to talk about it Or, never got to before now :D thank you again! infinitely! forever!

Accidental side effect: rip to Steady Tracks, I have not added any more words to the document for several days. Because I have been staring at my computer and being so ill about coupled (uncoupled). I WILL be back to it very soon though, I refuse to let my attention... waver :p

Anyways, yeah, while I love a good "we fit perfectly together" pair like Ingo and Emmet, I also really really love it even more when that intensely strong bond is build on a firm, realistic foundation of mutual care, support, and communication. So a lot of my AUs exist because of me wanting to stress-test that devotion/appreciation/commitment to work out problems, which makes things Extremely Fun to write but also oooohhh.... so goddamn complicated...... This is why I consider myself a "Hurt/Comfort" writer, because I almost universally find stories most compelling if they drop to very low points, dark moments, or genuine, heart-breaking struggles, only to show that this earnest and wholly compassionate care does and will always prevail in the end. That (a relationship) is not about never having problems, but about learning to solve them and being committed to recovery/change after the fact.

Gonna move on before I sob about them. I care them SO much, and coupled (uncoupled) is one of the strongest examples of this in my writing. They have gone, are going, and will continue to go the distance for eachother, thick and thin.

Minor side-tangent based on the last thing about other relationships/dynamics in fusion-

(Edit: After writing a lot more I realized quickly that this was, in fact, not a minor side tangent. It is in fact a major and worthwhile extrapolation on how i feel, however might also be mildly uncomfortable to discuss, and that's okay. If you don't want to hear me talk about my frustration with how our society bastardizes close platonic relationships, you can stop reading at any time or skip to the bottom 👍)

One of the other reasons I haven't talked about Coupled (Uncoupled) online yet is because I get really nervous about it. Fusion is very frequently connoted as romantic, and the coupled twins themselves are very physically affectionate with eachother (yknow, before & after the Horrors™) and so internally I've always been a little worried that people will think I am being weird/creepy/portraying them in a way that is 'too far' for some people, or just generally that people will misinterpret them having a good and healthy relationship with them having an unhealthy and uncool 'relationship.' you get my drift.

On the scale from Aro/Ace-to-Allo I am so fucking far into the side of Not Experiencing Romantic or Sexual Feelings Of Any Kind that I often fear my very firm and active appreciation + inclusion of platonic affection will be taken the wrong way in. Yknow. The twins' familial context.

If it helps put it in perspective, nothing I ever write the twins doing is stuff that I wouldn't also do with close friends and family. I like platonic hand holding. I like platonic cuddles. I like being tangled in a platonic knot of limbs on the couch. I like platonic forehead kisses sometimes. Hell, I got to have a friend over for thanksgiving and I recently got a really comfortable but also large bed, and instead of banishing them to the couch I gave them a spot next to me. (it's a big fuckin bed??? it's a BIG bed. Styled to look like a couch. Very cool and much needed QoL upgrade for me) and it was probably the best and easiest night of sleep I've had in actual months. I bonk foreheads with my little brother, I hug my dad as closely to my chest as I can. So while my relationship with affection and how to show it physically is perhaps pushing the normal societally accepted expectations, it brings me a lot of joy.

And I want my art/writing to be able to express that through the twins without it having some kind of fetishized romantic connotation, because it bothers me a lot when the level of affection that I view as healthy and appropriate within platonic boundaries is Forced to be coded as romantic. (shipping family members together in general just, really makes me violently uncomfortable beyond a way i can put into words. I'm not going to go into it but there was a point in time after I had been on the internet long enough to know that it has bad/uncomfortable sides that I started distancing myself from my family IRL, and only recently started to open up again)

aw shit that ended up being long and serious. well uh, sorry. Probably not the ramble you were hoping for ;^; I care a lot about the coupled twins, and especially how close they are, so by extension it also takes me a lot of vulnerability to post about them online when I know the internet can warp and twist the things i love into something disturbing and upsetting to me. Here's to hoping that doesn't happen, but I can't really control what other people will think, say, or do. I just hope they don't get me involved :[

So, while not spoiling the "whole plot," I think it's easy for me to say that Coupled (Uncoupled) is built on an intense, unconditional love. The whole story is about love. The whole story is about how loving people is hard, about how loving someone means putting in the work to understand and know eachother. About how love can hurt you, but how real, strong love built on a foundation of trust and compassion will heal you far more than it can ever hurt you. there's a reason why the AU is named how it is.

cool I'm gonna go explode into tears about them now 🥺 im real fucked up about Coupled (Uncoupled).

(Actually I do want to note, you accidentally encouraging me to ramble about them is Also why I didn't immediately answer this ask and the next one. Because I was thinking about them so hard I couldn't actually think straight long enough to write the reply I wanted to yesterday.)

As always, thank you for the ask! 🤍 It is appreciated beyond words. Although I feel like the sheer number of words I use to answer them are pretty clear indicators of how much fun I'm having + how much this means to me

[Emmet-Black sketchbook doodle; The first time they fuse.]

Coupled (Uncoupled)Masterpost

[onecalledkarma]

WITHOUT RULES THERE WOULD ONLY BE CHAOS.

General Admin Stuffs.

first, and foremost this blog is roleplay focused - sorry to those whom may be looking for a lovemail is this still even a thing? account for your favorite incredibly niche new mutant. I will not likely follow back personal accounts. secondly, I am open to interacting with MCU based accounts, but it cannot be understated that this is heavily versed within the canon of 616 - though admittedly there is inspiration from the fx series LEGION. I don't really foresee an adaption of this specific character done well in live action due to the nature of her origin. As such, I won't do much leg work in getting her to fit within, just - if there's an idea for where the X-Men may be, assume she's there.

my writer tag is askani, and whilst I am new to tumblr, twitter roleplay has been my base of operations for nearly a full decade now. feel free to add me on discord - askani #6174. my experience with X-Men comics dates back to over 15 years, and I am mostly familiar with the entire legacy. my pronouns are she/they, and I am over the age of 18.

Getting Down to Buisness.

General Etiquette applies, please don't rush for replies, don't spam tags, don't interact with posts that were not meant for you, that sort of idea. If it is unrealistic that your character has heard of Karma, or at least the Hatchi Tech, INC, please do not have your character somehow know everything. So, no god/information modding. TLDR? Don't be a dick. I work four days a week, with the days varying based on schedule, and otherwise have things going on outside of social media that could and possibly will keep me away and not interactive 24/7, I am not ignoring you. I may choose to tag thing not suitable for public audiences as NSFW, feel free to block the tag to avoid as I want no one to feel uncomfortable while scrolling my page.

I am a writer who prefers multi paragraph / novella to short form, I suppose I still could in smaller banter, but frankly there's more fun in building a story and describing the world than leaving things into the void. That being said, don't expect the best formatting in the world, I don't usually go here, and while I will learn in the future, it's not going to be perfect.

Following.

Generally I am down for following most accounts, and try to keep an open mind, but if I see anything gross; i.e. anything related to nsfw with minors, or animals, you will be blocked, and I will not feel the slightest remorse about it.

Content Warnings.

Karma's backstory goes over topics of, or relating to; child abuse, sexual assault, domestic abuse, body modification, body horror, gore, death, discussions of war, post traumatic stress, allusions to mental illness, discrimination ( relating to ethnicity, sexuality, and biology ).

if any of these make you so uncomfortable that it becomes difficult to interact with the account at all, I understand. She is a Chris Claremont character, and his writing tends to dive into topics that would make a general audience uncomfortable. Though I will tag some of these as necessary when they arise, I do not judge if this account is simply just not for you.

[gingerteaonthetardis]

WIP Telephone: "Truth Serum"

if you don't want to see what might become an increasingly long tumblr post, feel free to block the tag "WIP telephone." (i'll also be tagging it "long post," just in case. don't want to clog up people's dashes.)

tagging: @saecookie. you can add a hundred words and pass it along, or keep it for yourself. your choice!

in this one, nine has a little crush, jack is smug, and rose finds out about it. hope you have fun with this, dear! also, i'm giving you literally everything i have for this one, so it's loooong. i'm gonna put a lot of it below the cut, just for the sake of everyone's dashes.

-

Three bodies spilled into the TARDIS, limbs tangled in a way that was almost certainly illegal on several planets—fortunately not on this planet, but that wasn’t exactly a glowing recommendation, to Rose’s way of thinking. One body bobbed in the middle, and two others were gripping his torso like twin octopodes. 

“—what you expected me to do, Jack, he spiked your drink,” the Doctor griped, long arms slung around two pairs of shoulders, his body sagging heavily toward the grating. There was something slightly off about the angle of his limbs: like his legs were walking of their own volition, in a manner almost entirely disconnected from the intentions of his brain; his arms were stiff and mechanised. “You two can stop dragging me ‘round now,” he added mildly. “I’m only acting pissed. I think.”

Over his drooping, leather-clad shoulders, his two companions exchanged a look.

“Not sure, actually. But either way, I’ve got the full use of my legs. D’you know, Rose,” he announced, changing tack entirely as the pair released him, “these legs—well, not these legs, my legs—won a competition once. Best Gams in the Galaxy. Not bad for a biped.”

“Really.” Rose’s voice came out flat, but behind the staggering alien’s back, her face was anything but. Brows furrowed with worry, she nibbled her bottom lip to avoid biting her nails from nerves. She watched his uneven movements with a strained eye.

“You don’t sound impressed.” The Doctor sounded petulant, and he looked up with an expression that, on a face with different features, might have been a pout. 

“I am impressed,” Rose shot back automatically, exchanging another quick look with Jack, who winked. She reiterated. “You’re very impressive.” It seemed she was alone with her worry. Once the TARDIS doors had closed behind them, the Captain’s handsome face had morphed from an expression of tight fear to a slow-growing smirk, as if he was in on some sort of joke, the likes of which Rose clearly didn’t comprehend.

The Doctor's expression remained glum while he circled the Time Rotor. "You don't have to patronize me. I can tell when you're lying, you know."

Crossing his arms over his broad chest, Jack interrupted. “I think we’re getting a bit off topic, Doctor. I’m still not rightly sure why you felt the need to take several spiked shots on our behalf. Couldn’t we have just dumped them?”

The Doctor snorted. “Not if you wanted to leave this planet alive. I had to make them think we’d all gotten dosed, or they’d’ve followed us, yeah?" He frowned down at the sea of buttons before flicking one, with more force than necessary. "Anyway, I couldn’t let anything happen to you two, could I?”

“And what… what would’ve happened?” Rose asked, rounding the console. “If we’d drank them?” The Doctor didn’t answer immediately and instead keeled in the vague direction of a different button; it was only Rose’s sudden grip on his arm that kept him from collapsing onto the panel and depressing all of the buttons. “Doctor,” she insisted, or pleaded. The two were largely the same, when it came to him.

The Time Lord’s face worked for a moment as he attempted to conjure an answer—presumably one that wouldn’t scare her. But though he looked dismayed, his reply came in a sudden, easy rush. “The toxin would have rapid-boiled your internal organs, beginning with your esophagus and moving on to the rest of your digestive system before seeping out into your abdominal cavity, poisoning the rest of your body from there. You would’ve been dead within the hour.” The moment the words were out, he grimaced.

“Right,” Rose said faintly.

When she turned to look back at him, Jack was still unbothered, quite amused by the Doctor’s gruesome explanation. Strange. “Charming,” Jack quipped. “And what’s the toxin’s effect on you?”

The Doctor shot a furious look over Rose’s head, and the force of it nearly pushed her a step back. He suddenly looked stone cold sober, like the drunken stumbling really had been an act. But instead of moving away, she squeezed her hand around his forearm again. “You’re gonna be okay, right?”

His gaze dropped to hers, and there was a look in it like fear.

“For me, it appears to mimic the effects of what humans would call a truth serum,” he ground out. His throat bobbed, pulling her eye; he was nervous. “I will be completely fine, so long as I am isolated and not asked any questions that could jeopardize the safety of the universe or reveal any private—” but it must not have been a terribly strong truth serum, because his teeth snapped together, a flash of feral white. “Just don’t ask any questions.”

Jack, however, was already out to cause mischief, flopping down over one of the jump seats as if it was a chaise lounge. “Why not?” he goaded, grin sparkling.

“Because it’s invasive, that’s why,” the Doctor growled, breaking out of Rose’s grip to go loom over Jack, presumably wearing an expression of pure menace. “Honestly. I could fit your sense of ethics into a thimble. Don’t make me regret saving your worthless hide, Captain Jackass.”

“You love my worthless hide.”

“Be that as it may,” the Doctor answered through clamped teeth. “I’d prefer to express those sentiments of my own volition.”

The console room fell silent—so silent that Rose could hear her own rabbit-quick heartbeat in her chest and the pop of her lips as they parted in surprise. She couldn’t seem to un-glue her feet from the grating to get between them, for all they looked on the cusp of a fight. But should she get between them? She couldn’t help reading the tension in the Doctor’s shoulders, the grin creeping over Jack’s mouth, as perhaps indicative of… 

Something—something she’d never imagined might exist between them.

Rose’s stomach dropped.

But the unnatural hush was shattered by the sound of fists beating against the TARDIS doors. Angry fists. “Open up,” one harsh, not-quite-American sounding voice commanded. “I am a registered Agent with the Time Agency, and you are in violation of—”

Barely a second later, the Doctor was lurching back toward the console, throwing out commands. “Looks like they followed us anyway. Jack, get over here and on the controls. We’re leaving this planet.”

“What?” Rose cried, finally finding her voice again. It seemed to leap straight up from her belly, a gasp more than anything. “No! You’ve been drugged, Doctor—no, you’re not flying anywhere. You’re under the influence! I mean, is that even legal?” She didn’t realize she was shouting until both men looked up from the console, dismayed and confused as her words echoed over the high ceiling.

“Rose,” the Doctor began.

She shook her head. “You told me that nobody could get through those doors. The TARDIS will keep us safe,” she asserted, jaw set. “You need to go lay down until this—this drug goes through your system. You’re barely on your feet as it is, staggering all over like a drunken bum on New Year’s Eve. We’ll—we’ll get you to the infirmary and—I mean, I don’t know how to work an IV drip, but I’m sure you can talk me through it—”

“Rose,” Jack laughed.

“No, Jack, I’m serious. He’s—this could be dangerous!” Rose knew she sounded shrill, but she couldn’t help it. Dozens of conflicting emotions roiled inside of her, twisting her stomach and tightening around her throat. Concern for his well being clambered over top of disappointment, and curiosity, and uncertainty. And her usual feelings towards the Doctor—fondness, desire, something stronger than even those—reared up, manifesting as a sort of senseless panic.

“Rose,” the Time Lord cut in, mouth quirking. “While I appreciate the concern, I’ll be fine in a few hours. I can metabolize the toxin, no trouble. Got superior biology, me.” And he gave her that look, a crooked smile that made her insides twist.

She fought the urge to reach out and grab his arm—to touch him again and ground herself. She wasn’t sure if it was a good idea, or if it would be welcome. Something in that realization stung.

Still, Rose managed to swallow down her worries and step closer. “Promise?”

His smile spread wider, hitching on one side. “Promise,” he replied, voice low. Low and only for her. She couldn’t mistake it—she heard the fondness there in his tone. She couldn’t possibly be mistaking it, could she? His blue eyes shimmered in the dull green light, and she had to look away lest her lips begin to wobble.

“Well, I still think we should take every precaution," she said, her own arms crossing in determination. "You can’t go straight to sleep—someone should stay up with you for a few hours, make sure you don’t take a turn for the worse.”

“You just said he should lay down.” Jack sounded smug, and she fleetingly thought about tossing him out the TARDIS doors to the mercy of the Time Agents. I’d prefer to express those sentiments of my own volition. Of course he was smug; the Doctor fancied him. And now they all knew it.

“Yeah, on a gurney. Where we could keep an eye on him.”

“I’m still here, you know,” the Doctor said drily.

Decision made, Rose looped her arm through his. “For now. Jack, help me get him to the media room. We can—I dunno, watch a film or something. So we don’t have to talk, but you,” she said, looking pointedly at the Time Lord, “don’t fall asleep.” 

Jack, looking quite pleased with himself, took the Doctor’s other arm obediently. “You two can stay up as late as you like,” he informed her as they collectively wobbled down the hall. His voice was entirely too cheerful. “But I’ve had a brush with death tonight, and I’m knackered.” The way his accent stretched out the syllables of it—knaaackered—made Rose giggle despite herself.

“Fine,” she agreed. “I’ll stay up, then.”

“Rose, you don’t have to—”

Under her hand, she felt the Doctor’s arm twitch. And he leaned to the side, like a bough swaying in the breeze. He may have been acting like everything was fine, but it wasn't. 

She’d stay up all night if she had to.

-

After Jack deposited the pair on the media room sofa—a massive, plush thing with plenty of room for all of them, plenty of room to leave between them—with only a quick wink and an off-handed salute, Rose felt uncomfortable in a way she hadn't expected. It was like she was the one off balance, careening. And she felt a compulsion to speak. To fill the quiet. Beside her, the Doctor was still and slightly slouched; he looked very, very tired. 

She scrambled for something to say before settling on, "What film would you like to watch?"

But he only answered in a dull sort of voice, "I don't have a preference."

Rolling her eyes, Rose reached over and nudged his arm. "Yeah, you do. You always have a preference."

"No," he shot back, "I pretend to have a preference, because I like arguing about films with y—"

His mouth snapped shut again, and she watched a tendon in his throat bulge with the force of it. Practically grinding his teeth, he looked away from her and at the dark television screen.

"Just pick something," the Doctor sighed.

Guilt bloomed in her stomach. How could even this, something as innocuous as picking a film, be a point of contention? How much was he holding back—all the time—if even watching a film wasn't safe? Dejected, she picked up the remote and, instead of picking from the TARDIS's massive digital and physical and even holographic collection, just flicked on the telly and began channel surfing.

And she tried to stay quiet. She really did.

But it was just that the silence felt oppressive, gaping—the garble of static as the TARDIS chased down local signals, the sound of vaguely-American newscasters and commercials for products that didn't exist on Earth: none of it could fill the quiet. The air around them felt heavy, and the longer she sat there—just one cushion over, cross-legged, knee close enough to bump his thigh—the more she could see that the Doctor was struggling.

"Is it… is it hard? Not to talk, I mean."

His eyes slid away from the screen. They glowed bright blue in the dim room, and she felt pinned by them. Cornered, like a frightened animal. His jaw flexed, and then he nodded, once.

“Right. Sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” he replied—quickly, as if he couldn’t quite stop himself.

Yeah, I do, she wanted to say. But she didn’t; she just watched him turn away, his face once more in sharp profile. The telly jabbered away, some sort of advertisement for an industrial cleaner "rated up to one hundred and sixty decibels." What cleaning products had to do with acoustic power was rather beyond her, but the Doctor watched like it was the most interesting thing in the world.

Once more, Rose felt the urge to speak rising in her throat. If she hadn't seen him take the shots himself, she'd probably have thought she was the one dosed with truth serum. "I won't make a thing of it, you know," she said. "You and Jack."

He didn't look at her. He didn't move. The sound of fireworks crackled from the television speakers, light painting the Doctor's face in red—yellow—blue.

She wondered if he wanted to deny it, that there was a thing, and the drug just wasn't letting him.

"I mean, it's good," she pressed on. "Isn't it? You both deserve to be happy."

[arrantsnowdrop]

To be a Jedi - Anakin Skywalker x Reader

Request: “anakin/female!reader getting together fic that involves reader crying because she’s feeling self-conscious about her appearance and feeling worthless and anakin comforting her and calming her down and then accidentally confessing to her?”

Tags: @lothloriien​

Warnings: self-deprecation, insecurities, etc. (~2,500 words)

~~~~~

Being a Jedi really sucked sometimes.

Not all the time. In fact, you normally enjoyed the fast-paced, demanding lifestyle you led. Even as a youngling you had taken pride in the ritual and responsibility of being a Jedi, and now, as a Padawan on the verge of facing the Jedi trials, you were more confident than ever that the Force had led you down the right path.

But that didn’t mean you didn’t have bad days every once in a while.

Your Master had been called away on some highly classified mission in the Naboo system, so you’d been spending the week at the Jedi Temple working on some independent research and participating in training sessions with the other senior Padawans. Unfortunately, they were focusing on lightsaber combat this week - something you were definitely not as skilled at considering your specialization in negotiation and communications.

It wasn’t that you were unathletic - you were training to be a Jedi for crying out loud - but it was hard not to feel a little self-conscious about how much you were struggling with the training exercises, especially when your assigned training partner was none other than Anakin Skywalker.

It was just past midday - you’d been training for hours already and still had a few to go. The sun was blaring down on the courtyard where you and the other Padawans were sparring under Obi-Wan’s supervision.

You panted heavily, eyeing Anakin as the two of you circled each other slowly. There was no question as to which one of you would launch the next parry - Anakin had taken the offensive right out of the gate - so all you could do was try to catch your breath and prepare yourself for his next attack.

His eyebrows were furrowed in concentration, a few beads of sweat dripping down his forehead and some of his hair sticking to his face. His eyes were following your every move, tracking you like you were some kind of prey.

You hated this.

Suddenly, Anakin lunged forward, blue lightsaber whirring loudly as he swung it towards you. You groaned, lifting your own lightsaber up at the last possible moment to deflect him.

“Such a slow reaction time,” Anakin teased, grinning as he stepped back to give himself a wider range of motion.

“I thought it would take you longer to catch your breath,” you replied, voice strained as you blocked another one of his strikes.

You’d been friends with Anakin since Obi-Wan took him as a Padawan years ago, offering to help him as he played “catch up” with the rest of you. The fact he’d become such a strong Force-user despite starting so late was something you deeply respected him for, though you were perfectly content simply watching him display these skills.

Being on the receiving end of a lightsaber attack from Anakin Skywalker was not something you would consider enjoyable. You’d spent the whole morning dodging and jumping and somehow still losing every match. 

You flinched as Anakin’s lightsaber hit your torso, the sting of the “training mode” setting hurting far less than the sting of your own pride.

“Seven to one,” Obi-Wan called from where he was watching. You groaned, rubbing your temples with your free hand and turning your lightsaber off.

“Hey, you were definitely doing better than time,” Anakin said reassuringly, sensing your frustration. “Improvement is all Obi-Wan is looking for.”

“Improvement doesn’t take away from the fact I’ve lost seven matches today,” you seethed, bending down to re-tie the laces of your boots.

“Perhaps if you worked out a bit more you wouldn’t lose so often,” one of the other Padawans jested. Your head snapped up, face flushing as you sent them a pointed glare.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” you asked curtly, watching them look between you and Anakin uncomfortably.

“It’s just-”

They didn’t get a chance to finish, letting out a small shriek as they dodged a rock flying through the air. You turned around to look at Anakin, his slightly raised hand indicating who’d been responsible for the rock. At least he was using his Force capabilities in your favor now.

“Thanks,” you muttered, reigniting your lightsaber, glancing at the clock above where Obi-Wan was sitting. All you wanted was for training to be over so you could retreat to your room.

“They don’t know what they’re talking about,” Anakin said, a somewhat angry look on his face as he took a fighting stance across from you. “You’re perfectly capable of wielding a lightsaber, and you’d definitely beat them if you’d been paired up.”

“Hopefully,” you corrected him, “hopefully I’d beat them.”

“Definitely,” Anakin insisted, you rolling your eyes as you lifted your lightsaber in front of you.

----

What sucked about getting older was how little you saw Obi-Wan and Anakin. Your Master was responsible for conducting multiple research projects for the Jedi Council off-world, and Obi-Wan and Anakin hardly ever stayed on Coruscant for longer than a few days, so it was unlikely that you’d find yourselves in the same place for a decent amount of time anymore.

Normally, you would’ve used this week as a great opportunity to catch up with one of your oldest friends. This damn lightsaber training was getting in the way.

It had been yet another long day of sweating the equivalent of your own bodyweight and paling in comparison to Anakin’s abilities. Obi-Wan had focused on lightsaber combat in precarious and compromising situations, with one of which resulting in you falling off a two story rock wall.

As you stood in front of the mirror in your room you couldn’t overlook the spattering of bruises covering your torso and arms, all varying hues of blue and purple culminating from the last few days. You sighed, grateful you were getting the extra training you so clearly needed and nervous about what that meant. Imagine you’d been confronted by some Sith fanatic in the last few weeks - who knows how long you would’ve lasted?

Perhaps you were overthinking. You did have an extremely over-skilled training partner who made most other Jedi look incompetent with a lightsaber.

That being said, you still couldn’t shake what that other Padawan had said about you yesterday. Had you really become unathletic? You didn’t think you’d ever really neglected your daily training exercises, but perhaps those weren’t enough.

You sat down on the edge of your bed slowly, shoulder slumped. Maybe you weren’t as capable as you thought. The bruises all over you and lack of any actual visible muscle certainly pointed towards that.

----

The next morning, you skipped breakfast, giving Obi-Wan some offhanded explanation as to why you’d be missing training and heading for the library. You weren’t really skipping for no reason, your Master had given you a list of different research topics for you to look up in the Jedi Archives. Did you really need the extra time to get this done? No, but it still gave you a good excuse to avoid the feeling of physical incapability that accompanied your training sessions.

Plus, you didn’t want to slow the entire group down. Tears pricked at your eyes as you remembered yesterday when Obi-Wan made you repeat some dumb exercise on a floating raft over and over again, even though everyone else had already done it to his satisfaction. It was humiliating.

At least here in the library, surrounded by stacks of holograms and books, you were in your element. Here you didn’t have to move fast or chop anyone’s limb off out of self-defense.

It was sometime in the late afternoon when Anakin stormed into the library, loud footsteps immediately shushed by a swarm of librarians. You couldn’t help but grin softly, eyes meeting his as he marched over to you much more quietly.

“Even the great Anakin Skywalker is no match for an angry librarian,” you teased, him scoffing as he plopped down in a chair next to you.

“And where were you today?” Anakin asked, a strange intensity behind his question. You gulped, gesturing to the pile of transcripts and notes in front of you.

“I was right here,” you replied meekly.

“Since this morning?” he asked, eyes widening in surprise. You nodded.

“What the heck, Y/N,” he groaned, leaning back in his chair. “Obi-Wan assigned me a different partner. Do you know how irritating every other Padawan is to train with?”

“No, I’ve only ever trained with you,” you said bluntly.

“Exactly!” Anakin responded a little too loudly, earning him a dramatic shush from the circulation desk.

“Shut up,” you chuckled, slapping his chest lightly. He rolled his eyes.

“What I mean is that I’ve only ever trained with you, too, so everyone else doesn’t live up to my expectations.”

“What expectations?” you asked quizzically, flipping one of your notebooks closed.

“Working hard but still having a good time,” he answered, waving his hand nonchalantly. “You never sacrifice good banter for anything, I value that.”

“Ah, I’m glad to know you only value me as a training partner for my humor,” you retorted dryly, gathering all your belongings into a pile and standing up. Anakin’s brows furrowed as he looked up at you, a confused look painted across his face.

“Hey, what?” he asked, standing up with you. “What happened?”

“Nothing, just makes sense that you only enjoy my conversation, not anything actually training-related.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” he asked, completely dumbfounded as you started walking away.

“See you tomorrow, Anakin,” you replied, refusing to shed any more tears until you reached your room.

----

The next morning you were too unmotivated to let Obi-Wan know you weren’t coming, deciding instead to stay in bed and do absolutely nothing. Well, you were reading, but what did that really matter to a Jedi? You were supposed to be able to do backflips through the air and take on five enemies at once, and yet here you were wrapped in two blankets feeling like absolute shit. Some Jedi you were.

You held your breath as someone began knocking furiously on the door, hoping desperately they would think you weren’t home.

“Y/N, I know you’re in there,” Anakin called. You groaned, turning around and smashing your face into the pillow.

“Y/N!” he called again.

“Don’t come in!” you shouted back, voice muffled through the pillow.

“I’m coming in.”

“Don’t-”

You never got the chance to finish, bolting upright in bed as the door flew open, Anakin stalking in. You rolled your eyes, just thankful he had kept the door on its hinges.

“What is wrong with you?” he demanded, cringing as you recoiled slightly at his harsh words.

“What do you mean?” you replied quietly, his face softening as he took a seat on the edge of your bed.

“I meant what’s wrong, not what’s wrong with you,” Anakin corrected, taking your hand in his own.

“Nothing’s wr-”

“Don’t give me that,” he interrupted, shaking his head. “Don’t even try, I know you better than anyone Y/N, what’s wrong?”

You kept quiet, focusing on the way his thumb was rubbing small circles on the back of your hand.

“You’ve been acting off since we started training together, is it something I did?” he tried again, genuinely concerned. You laughed dryly and shook your head.

“No, Anakin, you didn’t do anything,” you replied truthfully, looking at him. “You’re perfect, I promise you did nothing wrong.” He gave you a small smile, looking down to where he was still holding your hand. He didn’t let go, only gripped you a little tighter, urging you to continue. You bit your lip, debating whether or not to tell him.

“Do you remember when that Padawan told me I needed to exercise more?” you asked finally. His head snapped up, eyes meeting yours.

“I knew it,” he murmured, nostrils flaring as he tried (and failed) to conceal his budding anger. “I knew it.”

“Anakin it’s ok,” you said, reaching out and rubbing his forearm, his gaze following your hand. “I mean, they were right, if I-”

“No,” Anakin said. “No, they weren’t right. They have no idea how strong you are, how capable-”

“Anakin I’ve struggled this entire week,” you blurted, eyes stinging and face heating up. “I pale in comparison to you, and the other Padawans, at least physically. I thought whatever training I’d been doing had been enough but clearly it wasn’t, so they’re right. I need to exercise more, I need to train more, I’m incapable of defending myself with a lightsaber and I don’t even look like a proper Jedi.” You thrust your bruised arms out towards him. “Look at these, you don’t have them, no one else does. I’m the only one who struggles with every exercise and test.”

You realized you’d begun to cry, tears rolling down your face and breaths shallow.

“Y/N,” Anakin murmured, hurt in his eyes as he took your arms gingerly in his hands. “Y/N, no.”

Your eyes widened as Anakin bent over, slowly pressing his mouth to each bruise on your forearms. You gulped, feeling a little dizzy as Anakin glanced up at you. “You’re an amazing Jedi,” he started, sitting back up straight and pulling you closer to him. You tried to pull away, not wanting to stain his robes with your tears, but he held you firmly. “You’re already stronger than half the people in that group, I’ll have Obi-Wan reassign you so you can kick someone’s ass and everyone will realize it.”

“Anakin-”

He shushed you, resting his chin on the top of your head. You closed your eyes, reveling in the warmth of his body against yours.

“There’s more to being a Jedi than using a lightsaber, anyways,” he continued. “You’re the only person our age in this whole temple that can negotiate with warlords and thieves and murderers and still come back unscathed with five new friends.”

You chuckled, biting your lip as he pressed a kiss against your hair.

“You’re perfect, Y/N,” he insisted softly, you shifting in his arms to gaze up at him.

You were surprised by how nervous he looked, as if he didn’t know how you’d react to what he’d just said, what he’d just implied. You just smiled softly, leaning up to press a slow kiss on his cheek.

“Thank you, Anakin,” you mumbled against his face, grinning as you felt him smile.

Suddenly he pushed himself up, forcing you down onto the bed and collapsing on top of you. You shrieked, bursting into a fit of giggles as he began nestling himself in your hair.

“Shouldn’t you still be at training?” you asked, a wide smile on your face.

“I was sent here by Obi-Wan to fetch you,” he replied smugly.

“So shouldn’t we both be getting back then?”

He propped himself up on his elbows, gazing down at you with a cocky smile on his face.

“I never told him when I’d be coming back.”

You decided you could afford to skip training another day - Anakin probably needed the rest anyways - and pulled his face down to meet your own.

[writerscornercafe]

A Follow Up Discussion

Good morning everyone! We had a few questions regarding the channels and their purposes after our announcement so we thought we would clarify some more and pin this comment. 

 #general-chat is for anything and everything your heart desires. This could be one direction and writing related but it doesn’t have to be. Keep in mind that if you are going to talk about something that could be deemed a sensitive topic use the spoiler action or start the conversation in the #sensitive-topic channel

Example: Talking about a fic you read that has abuse in it, use spoiler action. Talking about gun laws would be a topic for the #sensitive-topic channel

If you are planning on writing soon (this could mean Louis Tomlinson soon or actually soon) you can use the #general-chat or #real-time-writing.

Let’s say you are going to write five hours from now, feel free to give a heads up in the #general-chat. If you give a time, it should activate the friend time bot and people can see what time that would mean for them.

If you are writing in one minute or even five minutes, feel free to give a heads up in the #real-time-writing channel.

Censoring/Using the spoiler action: Sometimes we will use the spoiler action to block out an entire conversation. I know for me personally sometimes I do this as a way to let the person know I’m about to say something they don’t like so beware (I’m looking at myself when I’m about to tell Beca my opinion on food or a Marvel movie lol) But that isn’t helpful, is it? I would like us to try and be more cautious of how we are using the spoiler action and try to avoid using it as a way to block out an entire conversation. If you share a snippet and there are mentions that could be triggering before you share it please state: Mentions of ____ and include the triggering content. Think of what you would tag on ao3 or Tumblr and use discretion. This is also a helpful article that talks about triggers and a common list that you can reference if you are unsure. 

Thanks to Laur for the suggestion to organize our categories, Beca has done so! On the left, you will see Information, Writing & Such and Fandom & Random. Hopefully, the more organized categories can give you an idea of where to host your conversation. If you are unsure, ask!!! You can ask publicly or privately. 

Let’s talk threads! Discord allows two types of threads: public and private. 

Public threads are a great resource to use if a group of people are chatting in #real-time-writing as we are trying to limit the amount of side conversations happening in that channel. As these are public, remember to use the spoiler action when discussing sensitive topics. 

Due to the level our server is at, we are not able to use Private Threads. (To boost the level of the server, we must pay as it’s a Nitro feature, which is also paid. Beca boosted the channel once, but if she wants to boost it again to go to level 2, she has to pay again because it’s a paid feature in Nitro). Private threads could be used when discussing spoilers for a fic you are working on or spoilers for a tv show a few people are watching at once. We encourage you to reach out to people via DMs!

An example of creating a group DM: a few of us play Animal Crossing and since I knew that could clog the #general-chat and we can’t use private threads, I created a group chat to discuss all things Animal Crossing. (And a reminder, to create this private group chat, you have to add the person as a friend.) If you want to send the same message to different people at the same time it’s also impossible. You need to add the users as friends. (It’s a discord feature so there isn’t much we can help with it.)

Onto DMs, they are a great way to check in with each other about literally anything! Helping beta, asking how their fic is coming along, or being their accountability partner. You could also move the conversation to Tumblr, seeing as how we all have our URLs easily accessible if you don’t want to DM someone on discord. Private messaging isn’t necessary, it’s just an option.

It has also been brought to our attention that there have been a few conversations and comments that have made some people uncomfortable. We once spoke briefly about it in #general-chat in the hopes that people would read it and keep that in mind, but we feel an official statement is best. Beca and I let a few things slip through the cracks which is not okay and we apologize for not doing something about it the moment it happened. Going forward we are going to try to keep a more watchful eye on conversations happening on most of the channels- I say most because I cannot look at my policeman channel due to my own issues. That being said, if you see something, say something. Especially seeing as how there are time zone differences and we can’t catch things happening when we are sleeping. The best part of having Beca is that we are a team and we can discuss together who takes care of what issue that way we are both taking care of ourselves and all of you. We are asking for your help in keeping this safe because there is a chance we will miss something. If you don’t say anything we can’t help you or do anything to keep the server a safe space for everyone- which is one of our goals.

We love getting to know each other and talking about other music or movies or more personal matters like our health or tattoos. Discussions about those things are okay and encouraged. Discussions about the boys’ music and what concerts people get to attend is okay. Talking about their upcoming projects is okay.

What we will not be allowing anymore is discussions about Harry or Louis’ public relationships- really any of the boys but seeing as how Harry and Louis’ public relationships are more prominent that is what is talked about most. This topic is off-limits on all of the channels. Any type of misogyny, violence or more “heated” comments will result in a warning via DMs. If you proceed to make comments that go against this rule or our previous rules, you will be banned.

Please, keep in mind that we are not trying to prevent you from having conversations. It’s, in fact, the opposite. We are just trying to keep things organized so everyone can engage in conversations without feeling lost or uncomfortable.

As an aside, Beca and I are not fluent in discord and all that it entails- hence the hiccups. We are new to owning a server which is why we value your input and patience as we navigate this. We have been planning to do an audit for months and have been keeping track of things to discuss. This is something we’ll be doing periodically and we will always keep you updated, that is why it’s also very important you give us your opinions, suggestions, complaints or anything you feel it’s worth sharing. You guys are awesome and no one is in trouble! Thank you so much for everything so far!

[izzabeean]

Chapter 12 : Uncertainty

SUMMARY

A new situation presents itself that causes you to rethink a couple of things.

pairing : ushjima x f!reader / oikawa x f!reader / iwaizumi x f!reader

genre : angst + fluff

word count : 3,299

content : profanity, slightly suggestive nsfw

tags :  alternate universe - college/university, post-break up, friends to lovers, pining, slow burn

a/n : another late chapter because it's been a bit difficult to sit myself down and write this one, it's a bit of a long one. I know no one is meant to address weaknesses but the dialogue is so hard for me to write! but anyway please enjoy xx

masterlist

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Alone, at last.

The serene silence of the apartment fills you with relief as Oikawa left you by yourself to go out for a jog. Seeing as you haven’t had much time to yourself since moving in with him, you weren't extremely grateful to be able to sit back, relax and watch your favorite show for what seems like the zillionth time.

But this surge of anxiety rumbles from within while your mind seems to spiral wondering where Iwaizumi could be. He still hasn’t come back from his outing, hasn’t even updated when he will be back. And your attempt to distract yourself isn’t remotely engaging as you continue to check your phone for messages. 

Maybe there’s a personal reason why he is taking so long. 

Yes, he’s with friends, yet the word ‘friend’ could be defined so inconsistently on your tongue. For instance, a friend could be the beginning of a possible more-than-friends scenario or the description of a secret relationship. Perhaps a girl he didn’t want to tell anyone about or perhaps even a promised fuck-buddy agreement for when he visits. 

You grind your teeth wishing you could stop the worry festering. And because you’ve started to rummage in what if delusions, you decide that the only cure is to light a smoke.

Oikawa hasn’t been out for long and told you he’d be gone for an hour or so. So, you take the chance to keep your secret still a secret, by looking for the cartridge stashed in your jacket. 

Weird, you think sifting through the pocket to which you find nothing. Even when searching the rest of your things, other pockets, and bags, you can’t seem to locate the pack. It’s been a while since your last smoke and try to trace your tracks to where it could possibly have gone to. Obviously, it wouldn’t get up and leave... 

Usually, it wouldn’t aggravate you this much to find something, often you were used to misplacing things and having them show up eventually. However, this down-right pissed you off. You eye up your jacket persuading yourself you have enough time to go out to the corner store and grab a pack. The nearest shop is a couple of blocks away and you can have it out there instead of at the apartment where Oikawa can definitely catch you. 

But in your head, the plan seems too risky trying to play it out. And instead, you let out a yawn grabbing a textbook off your desk remembering that you should probably be a good student instead of pursuing bad habits.

Walking into the living room, you lower the television volume to create some background noise so the place isn’t totally quiet making you vulnerable to the slightest floor creek. The apartment sounds aren’t what you’re used to and you most definitely predict your paranoia will obliterate your concentration. 

That’s not all that does though. 

The warm cozy lighting in the room starts to relax your mind a bit more while you start to take notes. It could be the fact you’re reading a piece of text from one of your most boring classes or due to another long day, but you find yourself reading the same paragraph over again, and over again, and over again trying to absorb the content on the pages. You pinch yourself to stay awake whilst your vision starts to blur and slowly your eyes slowly close… 

------

You’re in your apartment bathroom. 

It’s not quite the same sleek compact room you’re used to-- the walls are covered in water damage, with the paint slowly peeling off some parts and the floor is torn up exposing the old floorboards. 

The new decor doesn't phase you though as you lean in towards the mirror touching up your lashes with a thin coat of mascara. Once you back up to take a look at your reflection checking for any flaws, you notice a sense of familiarity in this inspection. Like you've lived this all before. A part of you chuckles thinking you're just paranoid, but an unexpected knock echoes the room causing you to jump.

You freeze, listening closely as you try to quiet your breathing wondering if you were just hearing things. You must be.

Analyzing your reflection more, you notice you're dressed up in the same clothes you were going to wear that night you and Ushijima were supposed to celebrate your final year at university together. The same night he broke up with you.

Curiosity mixed with fear causes your eyes to glaze over not wanting to relive that moment again. 

Another knock sounds.

Before you could persuade yourself to stop, you walk out into the hallway to answer the door. The anguish in your chest grows stronger and stronger while the suspense heightens upon getting closer and closer. All you ever wanted was to be happy with someone who accepts you for who you are. Someone that would be there for you through thick and thin. And here you are once again reliving the thing that haunts you the most. You don’t know if you can take the rejection again, but your body can't stop. It wants to see Ushijima.

Reaching for the cold knob you turn the handle slowly opening the door that emanates Ushijima's daunting aura. Horror that once filled your eyes almost instantly vanishes though because instead, you face Iwaizumi.

“What are you doing here?” you breathe. “I’m supposed to--”

You're cut off by an aggressive push from Iwaizumi into your apartment. You don't flinch as your entire body freezes in shock from him pressing you up against a wall. It’s dangerous how close he is, you can see his pupils dilate as he pulls in closer, bending down to nuzzle his face into your neck. You feel a rush of electricity that tingles from the top of your head to your toes.

“You’ve been wanting this for a while now,” Iwaizumi hums. “Haven’t you?”

His teeth graze against your neck as he forces his knee between your legs and slides it upward. You let your body melt into it with a soft gasp as your nerves excite.

He pulls back and you’re dying to see the look he has on his face, but notice you are no longer looking at Iwaizumi… No, now you’re looking at Oikawa. 

Your eyes widen as his face dips down towards you, but you dodge and push him in an attempt to free yourself. He doesn’t budge leaning in closer tilting your chin up with his hands so he can look you in the eyes. His touch is gentle, not threatening but his eyes are drunk with lust.

“I thought it was me you wanted,” he purrs, eyes searching in yours for an answer.

But your throat squeezes shut restricting you from forming the words you wish to and his face inches closer closing in the space between you. You thought you’d be more reluctant for this to stop, but the thrill igniting inside you pushes you further as you slowly slide your hand into Oikawa’s hair. Closing your eyes waiting to be entangled in each other, but the kiss doesn’t connect.

When you open your eyes, you’re in your room sitting on your bed next to Ushijima. Everything feels lighter contrasting to the enticing atmosphere from before. 

He pushes the hair out of your face, tucking it behind your ear. You can’t look away seeing as this is the closest you’ve been to him since you were together. 

It feels like home. It feels right.

He runs his thumb over your lips as he leans in sealing his lips over yours. 

No, we shouldn’t, your brain screams, but you let yourself indulge in his warm soft kiss as he holds you close.

------

The act instantly jolts you awake.

You blink still feeling the essence of Ushijima’s kiss linger on your lips and the traces of his hands holding you close. But it looks like you’re not alone as you find yourself facing Iwaizumi who’s holding up a blanket.

“D--did I wake you?” he asks, straightening himself up, startled by your sudden rouse.

“No, no,” you say, before sitting up. Your heart almost skips a beat as you immediately envision Iwaizumi pressing up against you. And, as if on cue, your ears start to burn up unable to actually look at him before rubbing your eyes hoping to hide from the sheer embarrassment plastered all over your face. 

“How did it go… With your friends?” you express, in an attempt to change the subject to leave behind your suggestive dream.

“It was good,” he sighs, taking a seat beside you on the couch. “Had a lot to catch up on. You should meet them actually, I feel like you’d all get along.”

“That’d be cool,” you smile.

Then it occurs to you this is the first time you’ve been alone together since the kiss. Your options could be to completely avoid the topic as if it never happened, but a little voice inside keeps reminding you to say something. But how can you when even speaking about your actions is deeply embarrassing? Why didn’t you just think before you act? Then perhaps, this awkward conversation you’re about to have wouldn’t have to happen.

“But maybe warn them, if you plan to kiss them,” he teases.

“Um…” you feel your face grow hot at his words wondering if Iwaizumi can read your thoughts. “About that…”

“Hm?” Iwaizumi blinks.

“I’m sorry if it came out of nowhere, there was just a lot going on in such a and I just -- It was uncalled for… I didn’t mean--”

Iwaizumi lets out a laugh causing you to pause.

“What?” You suddenly feel stupid for bringing this up, thinking you’ve missed the reason as to what’s so funny.

“Sorry,” he shrugs. “You were just trying to make your ex jealous, right?”

Yes, you were, but there was more to it than that.

“Mm,” you reply, unsure of what else to say.

“Don’t you think Oikawa would have been a better contender to piss Ushijima off?”

“I mean… I think it was more than that,” you begin, but lose your courage to confess anymore as Iwaizumi gazes at you with an unreadable expression. “Cause you know, you’re new and he’s never seen you before and so it’s more…  Mysterious?”

It sounded more like a question as if you were trying to convince yourself too, but Iwaizumi doesn’t ask further.

“Of course,” he replies so a matter of factly, you feel stupid. Like you’re self-sabotaging yourself. 

“I guess it did sort of work seeing as he punched Oikawa,” he adds.

Your face softens at Iwaizumi’s remark in an attempt to lighten the mood.

“I mean, if it really worked he would’ve punched you,” you joke. “Oikawa persuaded Ushijima all on his own.” 

You both laugh and you know, now, that it wasn’t such a bad idea to talk about it.

“Well if you ever need to get Ushijima off your back, I can pretend to be your boyfriend.”

Huh?

You weren’t quite sure if you heard that correctly, seeing how nonchalant he is. And when you don’t reply and continue to gaze at Iwaizumi wide-eyed, he’s quick to reply.

“I mean, if you need one,” he continues.

You laugh nervously. At this point, you’re definitely not sure what he’s thinking about, but the fact he so blatantly offered such an outlandish task, makes you wonder if he’s on the same page as you. Is it so obvious to him, that you think he’s hot, that you enjoy spending time with him?

“I’ll hold you to that,” you say, as calmly as you can, trying to suppress the excitement bursting inside. “When’s your last day?”

“Next week.”

“That sucks,” you spit out. “I mean! It’s cool you get to go to school in California, but just sucks you’re going to be leaving”

“We can still keep in touch,” he replies softly.

“You better,” you tease. “I’m jealous you have it all figured out.”

“You will too.” 

“Doubtful,” you groan. “But I’m trying to stay optimistic.”

“You’ve got lots of time,” he sighs.

Silence encompasses the space between the two of your time limit with Iwaizumi worries you more. You’re happy he gets to pursue his dream, but you wonder if there's more to why you got to see him again. It feels wrong for wishing him to not leave, the essence of selfishness rolls through you as your conscience nags for you to stop.

"I hope so."

------ 

It’s the beginning of a new week and you’ve finished your morning class.

But it's very hard to forget the conversation you had with Iwaizumi about the kiss, about him leaving. As much as you’d like him not to leave, to see where things could go, you know it isn’t your best interest to start dating someone new so. You’re not like Ushijima. You’d much rather die than ever admit that you are the same as him. Luckily, you are not. You have morals and you’re a much, much better person than him. 

Your name rings down the hall as you stroll towards the exit and turn to see Sara trying to catch up to you. You haven’t seen her since the evening Oikawa swung at Ushijima and honestly had been avoiding her since. Though you did know, you’d have to face her eventually, you preferred it being during class where you can gently brush her off.

“How are you, I haven’t seen you since the other night,” she breathes, trying to catch her breath from basically booking it down the hall.

“I’m fine,” you grunt, unapologetic to how cold it sounds, yet Sara pays no mind to it as she continues to beam with excitement.

“I just wanted to apologize.”

“For?” 

“For inviting Ushijima,” she replies, her voice unwavering. “I didn’t find out until later that he’s your ex.”

“Did he tell you?”

“Well, he did that night,” she chuckles, then clears her throat when you raise your eyebrows at her in displeasure. “I was mortified that he didn’t even tell me. I told him who would be there and he didn’t say anything.”

You're quiet, trying to make sense of Sara's explanation. Why is she even telling you this? Is it because you're in a group together? She could have just pretended nothing ever happened and keep things strictly school-related. If this were you, you'd be: 1) pissed your significant other didn't tell you about an ex and 2) would avoid the ex like a plague. Yet here she is, standing in front of you, apologizing. Nothing seemed to add up.

“And you didn’t get mad?” you ask, unable to comprehend Sara's reasons for confronting you.

“Oh my god no, why would I be mad?” she laughs again. 

“I thought you were close?” 

“Close? I guess, but he’s just been showing me around.”

"Huh?" you blink.

“He’s part of a program here, to help new students.”

You blink again.

“Y/N? You there?”

“Yeah…  I just-- you were-- I thought… What’s the program?”

“Um, he's assigned to a new student to help settle in for the first week on campus...”

Your mind flashes back to the other day when Ushijima showed up at your apartment wanting to tell you something, then to the time he tried to chat with you at the restaurant. Was that it? That it's just been a misconception all this time. 

"... One time he showed me around the city, but that's about it," she continues, forcing you out of your thoughts. The keyword showed me around the city rings setting an alarm to when you first saw them together. That day, it felt like your heart got ripped out and thrown on the ground with your entire body submerged in an unfathomable sense of agony. You were destroyed.

“So... you normally just hang out with him at school?” 

“Yeah. He's the only person I know on campus,” she snorts. "That's why I invited him, as thanks. Regardless I feel like a complete idiot. I’m so sorry I invited him, I totally didn’t mean to put you in an awkward situation.”

You feel perplexed and look away, trying to figure out how to take the information. 

Nothing and everything makes sense at once. As if you had stepped into a dream world and your body is separately itself from reality as you trying to mull the information you've just absorbed.  

“Forget it," you say, forcing a smile. "I-- I have to get to class.” 

“Oh, of course. I’ll talk to you later?”

“Yeah,” you smile, walking in the opposite direction. "I'll see you around."

You sigh realizing you misjudged Ushijima entirely. No wonder he wanted to speak to you and all you've been doing is giving him a cold shoulder. Maybe, guilt can describe the feelings swimming in the pit of your stomach, completely blinded by wrath. You had to tell Oikawa-- 

Buzz!

Scooping out your phone from your pocket you check down to see a text from said guy. It says: just finished class. you on campus?

You quickly send a reply then your eyes flicker up to a familiar figure walking towards you.

Iwaizumi.

“What are you doing here?” you say.

“Came to drop off Shittykawa’s books," he replies. "He forgot them for his next class.”

“I can take it to him, I was just headed to meet up with him,” you smile.

“Thanks,” he grumbles, rubbing the back of his neck.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, I was kind of hoping to run into you….” 

------

I’ll be in the courtyard.

Oikawa reads a text from you and gives a small smile walking in the direction of the destination. Your company is always something he admires especially to kill time between classes. But it was never killing time with you. Instead, it seemed to always go by too fast, like he never had enough of you. His heart starts to race as he nears the courtyard and he doesn’t know why but he’s feeling extra giddy today. Perhaps he woke up in a good mood or perhaps it feels like for once he’s getting somewhere with you by the fact you’ve opened up to him and have been a lot friendlier than usual. 

Then he sees you. You’re easy to spot. And he starts to talk a tad quicker, but as you become more in view, he sees you talking to Iwaizumi. His entire body freezes.

------

“I was hoping to spend my last day… With you,” Iwaizumi mumbles. “Oikawa has class during the day and I wanted to see if I could snag you.”

Oh. 

Your eyes widen with surprise and excitement as the words echo in your head.

“If you’re available that is,” Iwaizumi quickly adds.

You grin at him. “Yeah, of course. I’d like that!”

“Awesome, I look forward to it,” he says casually before turning around to leave. 

“Iwaizumi…”

He stops and turns back to you.

“The books?” 

“Oh right, I totally--”

He rushes back over to hand them over, yet the books gently graze your finger and fall to the ground. Both of you react by swooping down to pick them up and from your eagerness accidentally bumps your forehead into Iwaizumi, making loud bonk.

“Oh my god are you ok?” you ask while holding your forehead from the surprise collision.

“Yes, are you ok?” he chuckles while rendering a small smile.

“Yeah,” you giggle. “Sorry I got excited.”

Your face feels hot from how close he is and his contagious laugh. It’s nice and feels... exhilarating. Unlike anything, you’ve felt before from someone. 

Suddenly your moment is interrupted by the sound of your phone going off. 

It’s your mom.