#if anyone ever asks me to explain my vibe in one image this is the image i will be sending them
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❄️ Day 20 - Stranded in Holly Grove ❄️
🎁 Today's fic is dedicated to @bonheur-cafe
Summary: The Catan Crew get stranded in a weird little small town overnight.
Word count: 998
Inspired by the prompt "5. After the car breaks down in a small town during a road trip, a group of friends decide to stay as long as it takes to fix the car and explore the town and area surrounding it." found here
24 Days of Tarlos Masterpost
“Okay, this is beyond even my level of expertise,” Marjan sighs as she drops the hood of Nancy’s car and steps back.
“So, what? You mean we’re stuck here??” Nancy groans in frustration.
“Hey, don’t blame me!” Marjan shoots back. “You’re the one who said your car could handle this cross-country road trip…”
“Guys,” Paul puts his hands up. “Let’s just call a tow truck and find the nearest town. It’s going to be dark soon anyways. Not the best time to be stuck on the side of the road regardless of what’s wrong with the car.”
“Paul’s right,” Carlos pipes up from where he’s sitting beside TK on the snowy curb. “It’s getting late, we’re surely all getting hungry. We planned on staying somewhere for the night anyway.”
“Plus it’s so cold out here my ass is freezing off,” TK adds.
“Nice image, babe,” Carlos laughs, pulling his boyfriend closer and rubbing his arm over his jacket.
“Ugh, fine,” Nancy ducks back into her car to make the call and about an hour later with the friendliest tow truck driver ever, Nancy, Paul, Mateo, Marjan, TK, and Carlos are being dropped off in the nearby town of Holly Grove–a town which the tow truck driver could not stop raving about. The driver also encouraged them to go straight to the inn to check into rooms for the night, and after to go to the local diner and order whatever is on special tonight.
Once Nancy’s car has been dropped off with the local mechanic–who has an uncanny resemblance to Santa and showed up in his robe and slippers with the promise to take a look at it in the morning–the friends spill into the inn off Main Street and are immediately greeted with warmth from a fire and a smiling woman behind the counter in a Christmas sweater.
“Y’all are shivering harder than Jack Frost during a freeze, can I get y’all some hot cocoa?” The woman asks with a blinding smile.
“Is this town giving extremely weird vibes to anyone else?” Mateo whispers in TK’s ear.
“Definitely,” TK nods.
“No, we just want rooms for the night,” Nancy explains. “My car broke down a few miles outside of town and we just dropped it off.”
“Oh! Well you are in for a real treat!” The woman laughs. “We’re having our annual Christmas pageant tomorrow if you stick around!”
Nancy glances back at the group, mouthing, ‘what the fuck?’ before turning back to the woman. “Thanks, ma’am, but we’ll probably leave as soon as my car is ready. Any chance we can get three rooms? Two rooms with two beds and one room with one.”
The woman glances around the group, as if trying to figure out who the lone bed could be for before turning back to Nancy. “Certainly! Let me see what we have available.”
Three sets of golden keys later, and they’re all heading up the stairs with their modest luggage and into their rooms.
“I’m glad Nance gave us the room with one bed,” TK grins, sitting on the edge of the mattress as Carlos opens their suitcase, rifling around for both their toiletry bags.
“Well it was pretty obvious Nancy would room with Marj and send the boys off to room together,” Carlos hums. “Kinda just leaves us.”
“Well I’m glad either way, I get enough of rooming with other people at work,” TK laughs, catching Carlos’s wrist. “Plus I like having you all to myself.”
Carlos smiles as he’s pulled into a warm kiss.
A little while later, they venture out into the cold again, in search of the diner, and cram into a corner booth when they find it, and order the dinner special as was suggested to them.
“This town is weird right?” Paul asks, leaning forward across the table to whisper conspiratorially.
“Extremely weird,” Marjan agrees.
“It’s like some sort of Hallmark movie town,” Carlos shakes his head. The rest of the table turns to gape at him, aside from TK, who just laughs and wraps his hands around Carlos’s arm. “What! My mom makes me watch them with her sometimes.”
“He’s your comfort nerd, huh, TK?” Marjan winks.
“Oh, yeah,” TK grins. “Definitely.”
Their food comes out shortly after and it’s plates of admittedly some of the best damn chicken they’ve ever had, coated in some sort of creamy peppercorn gravy, with loaded mashed potatoes on the side, and honey carrots.
“Holy shit,” Mateo practically moans into his bite.
“Same,” TK immediately agrees. “This is so fucking good.”
Dinner is followed by pie and another round of approving moans from the table. It is really good pie.
The next morning, Nancy drags TK and Carlos with her to talk to the mechanic about her car.
“I’m sorry,” he tells her. “The part I need for your car won’t be here until tomorrow.”
Carlos steps forward, eyes flicking to the mechanic’s shirt. His name tag embroidered into his shirt reads N. Kringle. “Mr…Kringle…we really have to get back on the road today.”
“It just won’t be possible,” Kringle says with a shake of his head. “But you lovely folks are welcome to stay and enjoy our Christmas pageant. There’s always a big party at the diner after.”
“Oh, we wouldn’t want to intrude,” Carlos shakes his head.
“No intrusion,” Kringle shakes his head with a kind smile. “We love having guests in town at the holidays! There’s plenty of Christmas cheer to go around, son.”
Nancy groans as they walk away. “I guess we’re staying.”
“It seems like we have no choice,” Carlos frowns.
“Maybe we can just try and make the most of it. It looks like there’s some cute shops on Main Street that might have good Christmas gifts,” TK shrugs.
“Let’s just get back to the inn and find the others and maybe start with breakfast at that diner,” Nancy says. “Hopefully their eggs and bacon are as good as that pie from last night.”
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List of arosepc headcanons I have below (it is quite long) (list subject to future updates/suggestions (you can send me propaganda for your blorbo))
Ford Pines - he literally just has the vibes tbh. Crazy uncle who doesn't want anyone bc he's aromantic and obsessed with portals. also it would make billford worse.
Mable Pines - she literally picks her crushes and then stops 'liking' them in week. Do you know how many aromantic people have done this.
Hollyleaf warrior cats - fallen leaves was her qpp. Okay. The website family tree is lying to you. If Lionblaze asked her when she would get married she'd respond with "I'm already married to the warrior code."
Sonic T. Hedgehog - it's in character. Sega themsleves said he would hate settling down.... (I also think hes bi)
huey dewey louie or webby duck(tales) - at least one of them is arosepc I just can't figure out which one. Or maybe it's all of them
Della duck - cool aromantic lesbian mom. She does not need a husband or a partner she just needs her ducklings (and donald ig)
lapis lazuil - ngl I was rewatching steven universe and I just had a Feeling. Also she's one of my favorite characters, so.
Rise Leo - he's like Mabel he's doing comphet. (I think he's gay aromantic specifically and just keeps mistaking "I want to be friends with this guy/wow they're attractive" with "I want to date him") (also makes the fandom wide headcanon of aro donnie really funny. Wrong twin guys..)
C!peal and c!gem - especially empires s1. Pearl being aroace and gem being arospec but she hasn't figured that out yet (insert "I'm probably nonbinary but I have a job" image)
On that note, empires 1 fwhip has and will always be demiromantic in my mind
No idea what e2 fwhip has going on but he is somewhere on the aro spectrum. Maybe it's why he's so weird abt jimmy.
ONE Jimmy solidarity character is also arosepc I just don't know which one. But one of them is i know it in my bones.
grian and scar - they are both aros who fuck and 3rd life was world shattering platonic love.
Donatello tmnt - I haven't seen every tmnt iteration but like. ONE of them is aro and it is NOT rise donnie
Scott smajor - @/funkily suggested he was cupio and it made way too much sense
Saiki kusuo - do I even need to explain this one. It's basically canon (unless it is canon and I just missed something)
Wednesday Addams - most aromantic coded girl ever and I'm going to fight netflix for making her kiss barista boy
Shadow the Hedgehog - he's arospec but has no idea bc he sucks at recognizing his own emotions. ("Im probably aromantic but i have a job and trauma")
Twilight Sparkle - if you asked her what love is she would give you the dictionary definition
Rainbow Dash - it came to me in a vision
Silver the Hedgehog - also came to me in a vision
Honorable mentions -
Oli theorionsound (suggested by sage thinkingabout-girls)
Whatever the fuck was going on with divorce quartet in double life specifically
Violet and lena saberwing ducktales
Also ducktales gosalyn
At least one of the powerpuff girls
Adrien agreste because (iirc) he sucks at romance and I need to escape love square hell
Mumbo jumbo
Arospec mythicalsausage
Maud Pie (I think if I finished mlp she'd be on the list)
#ren posting#Some if these headcanons I never stick to and swap out depending on what I wanna write/draw ngl#Also I'm aromantic so these are all correct and real/silly#aromantic
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hii i just caught up with one single thread of gold and i was thinking about the memories because remus is having his internal? struggles with the dog and silence and sirius is more external? i cant explain what im thinking but i think my question is how you see their trauma because sirius loses memories in azkaban too do you picture it differently to remus's memories? sorry this is rly random im just invested in this
OMG don't say sorry for this !! this is the most exciting thing to ever happen to me, i love rambling !! and i get so hype every time someone asks about my lil stories so this MIGHTTTT be long
HOWEVER 😄☝🏻 minor spoilers??? so i'm gonna put some of this under the cut incase you don't want that and also tldr; so so so different and i think internal vs external is a fab way of describing it
okay so first of all, remus' trauma presents itself so so differently YUP. where sirius remembers the bad, remus doesn't. so both of them are being reminded of the bad except remus isn't aware, he flinches from Padfoot or he gets anxious in silent situations because even if his mind doesn't remember what it was like during the war (i.e in chapter 1 their house is basically silent and sirius turns into padfoot to avoid talking) his body does.
so we're getting a kind of body versus mind reaction to trauma where sirius is haunted by his worst memories and remus is just,,,, confused LOL.
the thread imagery is the big thing and this is where we breach a bit of spoiler territory so,,, under the cut.
i'm picturing a literal thread of memories, like the image of dumbledore taking out memories for the pensieve. that but thicker and obviously longer, their entire life laid out infront of them by a mind healer,, so i'm gonna,,, walk you along the thread but it might only make sense in my mind (i hope not because i have to write this LOL)
so what i picture with sirius' memories is a knot. we see a grey beginning - not yet knotted because he doesn't know it's wrong - as he grows up in grimmauld, and we see it transition to gold at hogwarts. we see small knots every holiday where he returns home, we see a big knot after the prank, and as we get into the war it starts losing its colour.
his memory post-azkaban? a big big messy black knot. no gold anywhere, no gaps between the thread it's all just one massive black knot - that's his trauma. untangleable, cutting off his current self from going back and remembering the positives, he'll have to unfurl it to do that and he can't do that yet.
so for sirius i see it as a complete thread that he just can't go back and access, because he can't bypass this knot but remus is more,,, of a honeycomb vibe. a precise, intentional, geometric disruption??? pieces are physically missing from his thread. his is just full of big gaping holes, his thread is incomplete compared to sirius' which is complete but tangled ??? am i making ANY sense to ANYONE else but myself
so remus' struggles present so differently because he has nothing to work with really. he hears sirius say "moony" and he has nothing to connect it to. he sees a dog and he flinches but he has nothing to explain it. and in my mind that's why he has this knot in his chest instead. without his memories being altered, he'd have these knots in his memory but he doesn't remember it mentally, only physically. so his chest gives this pull when sirius is too far away or this yank when sirius is leaving, pulling that knot tighter and remus is trying to prevent it
so sirius is here battling this big tangle, trying to unfurl it to remember the good things, and his remus is playing stepping stones, walking on threads of gold that are his current life but constantly being pushed into the gaps.
also personality wise remus is the type of person to bottle it in imo and sirius would present more outwardly - but image wise and how i VIEWWWW their trauma, the thread imagery is the important part and will pop up in depth !! hopefully more coherently lmao.
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😊 say something nice about your writing
📚 do you ever read similar works while writing, or do you intentionally not read them?
🎶 do you write with music? does the music you’re listening to influence your writing?
✅ list one or two favorite lines you’ve written and explain why they’re your favorite
😊 say something nice about your writing
i like to think that my writing is good at putting a clear image in your head, but maybe that's just me lksjdf but when i write i can see it so clearly
📚 do you ever read similar works while writing, or do you intentionally not read them?
i don't read a lot of fanfic anymore unfortunately :/ but when i did then i would like, sometimes read sex scenes from other works just to get the general vibe on how to describe things but i wouldn't read super super similar stuff because i didn't want to accidentally copy anyone
🎶 do you write with music? does the music you’re listening to influence your writing?
i do! music or like asmr soundscapes !! sometimes the music influences my writing but not always, i can be listening to angry music while writing fluff no problem 😂
✅ list one or two favorite lines you’ve written and explain why they’re your favorite
Their first kiss.
Their last.
It shouldn't have happened like this. Their first kiss should not have tasted like blood. It should have tasted like happiness, like the sunshine that Buck seemed to just exude wherever he went, making the world a bright place just by being in it.
from i wish we had tomorrow because i just, i really liked this part >:3
fic writer asks!
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Something that most people don't know about you??
At times, I have nonsensical, probably stress-induced dreams.
In total, I've been the murderer approximately three times, endorsed an execution once, was a witness at least twice, and have been chased many more times.
The first murder was shooting some kind of long-barreled gun, perhaps a rifle or something more modern than a bayonet? Who knows? It was vague, and I don't really remember it.
The second was firing an arrow from below at a person descending stairs. The whole dream was very Hunger Games-esque and I had been peering up at my target from a swimming pool set in a ruined patio.
The third time, my murder was unintentional. I tried to help an unknown classmate(?) get unstuck from where he'd been caught under a large stone or snowdrift on the way back to a final exam, before the directions were given, and he just... tumbled down the steep, snow-covered hill? I have no idea what truly happened to him. I think all I had done was tug at his arm. I just ran the rest of the way down, took my seat in time, oddly enough, outdoors, at a table, and was given a paper. I think the prompt my brain came up with, before the hill event, from an earlier part of the dream, was something on environmentalism, or something about conditions shaping a narrative, which made little sense—much different from what the real exam's prompt was. I wanted to wash my hands, so I would stop feeling sticky, and I think I wondered if I had blood on them. A thought I had then or maybe after I woke up was that the prompt wasn't about Lady Macbeth, so why'd all that happen? I also worried over whether I had partly abandoned the poor guy or committed a murder. Yet I don't believe in dream symbolism because it's not fully scientific, and the directions in the dream weren't ever fully explained anyway. In that same dream, I also eavesdropped on someone who might've been my real-life, class dean and some old woman.
The one time I endorsed the murder in a dream, it happened after a whole convoluted, surreal, Coup d'état plot, not even founded in reality. I broke into a library, to catch my foe shortly before they arrived, and asked someone else to get ready. It wasn't just commanding an execution to happen; it was a (magic?) trick I wasn't fully conscious of, despite being the one to ask for it to be set-up and deliver the orders during the all-important moment. A professor in the library, who specialized in firearms, stage tactics, and sleight of hand, fired what seemed to be a blank at the traitor/usurper/criminal. And my criminal got covered in loose, non-compacted, burning gunpowder instead of run through by a bullet. By then, their skin was probably crawling with some sensation of being set aflame—but don't ask me? I couldn't sense that pov. There was nothing gory anyway. But somehow, they tried to shake the powder off, onto me, and I guess I woke up before anything became worse.
In the same execution dream, there were other previous events, and I was a witness to a different murder. That murder was this instance, with cool, Art Deco vibes, wherein, my (non-existent) friend sacrificed themselves for me. I had to lug the corpse through halls and to elevators, and I went up and down multiple times while on the run before I decided to leave the body.
In another dream, what I think was a hanging was visible in the background, but I'm not quite sure about that. It was more of a vague image.
As for the times I've been pursued by figures with unknown intent, one was notably in a labyrinthine place.
Also, to anyone who's read this far: Don't worry. I don't believe I could actually pull off any of these things as I think I’d pass out too soon because I have somewhat weak lungs and not nearly enough athleticism.
#my post#ask#personal post#dream#dreams#murder#execution#gunpowder#magic trick#trick#sleight of hand
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Hey Kate, happy STS!
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think I've ever seen you do any character images/faceclaims/picrews /whatever for your characters' faces, even though that's pretty common on Tumblr. Obviously, there's a strong case to be made for NOT doing this and leaving it to readers' imaginations, too. But even though your written descriptions --and your moodboards -- are so vivid, I'm still curious! Have you ever done this, even just for yourself? Would you ever? In general, how do you conceptualize/visualize your characters' appearances?
Happy STS, Claire! Thank you for the ask!
tl;dr - finding pictures is hard and I can't make them. If you ever see (or make) a pic that represents what my character looks in your mind, I'd love it see it!
You are correct, and very observant! I've never posted images of any of my characters... not for lack of trying. 😅
Why? A bunch of different (and possibly strange) reasons. Part of it is, indeed, the reason you mentioned - wanting to leave things up to readers' imaginations. When I was a kid/teen and gobbling up YA novels, I noticed the trend of using photographs of faces on book covers - and HATED it. (I'm less passionate about that opinion about that now, especially since more recent trends have used illustration instead, but at the time, it really bothered me, and I still prefer to imagine the characters on my own.)
Now. That being said, I don't mind the trend of picrews, faceclaims, etc. on Tumblr - that doesn't bother me, lol. And while you are so very kind to say my written descriptions are vivid, I don't generally feel confident about them and sort of assume that none of my readers know what anyone (except Will lmao) looks like. So I've tried a few times to find images or picrews to suit the TPOT characters.
Now we get into "mmmkay Kate that's definitely a you problem" issues.
I'm not great at visualizing faces, which I talked about in another STS ask. I don't see them clearly in my head, although I can get most of their features and...shape? Vibe? Not quite sure how to explain it.
Everyone else seems to find picrews that they like! I just can't. They're too cute, or the wrong style, or don't match the vibe, or don't have the features I'm looking for...it goes on. Then, even if I find a picrew that might suit my apparently diabolically fussy taste, I get frustrated by all the clicking. Yes, you read that right. Too much clicking. So I usually just give up.
I don't know many celebrities in general and once went on a blog dedicated to collecting face claim pictures to see if I could find something, but I was overwhelmed by the wall of faces I was staring at. So I quit that, too.
Finally, I just can't bring myself to use AI to create images, on ideological grounds, so that's out. And since I'm not an artist...... 😭
To conclude, this particular thing is just really hard for me for some reason. If anyone ever finds or creates an image that represents one of my characters, I'd be delighted to see it.
Thank you again for the question!
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Hi 👋. Sorry I haven't had the time to talk cause school is extra hectic rn😅 but I had the time today and I wanted to tell you that you inspired to actually start listening to Artic Monkeys 🎉🎉. I am honestly obsessed with Wanna be yours ❤️❤️❤️. It's absolutely amazing (from the music to the lyrics I AM IN LOVE 😍😍) IT'S LITERALLY MY GO TO LOVE SONG RN and I wanted to ask you what your favorite songs are so I can listen to. them. - 🌊 anon ( Your number one fan)
hihihi!! it's totally okay omg, you don't need to apologise!! i hope your irl stuff is going well 🫶🫶🫶
OMG WHAT ?!?"( that is like the best thing anyone could ever say to me THAT'S SO COOL!!!! i'm so glad you found a song of theirs that you like ueueue 🥹🩷 AND OH MY GOSH I LOVE THIS QUESTION!!! i literally love all their songs but most of my favourites are from the AM album, like idk the vibes there are *chefs kiss*
but okay here are my top 5!! 😼
5. r u mine? - ABSOLUTELY INSANE SONG!!! i adore this song with my whole heart, the guitar and drums go so HARD i literally screamed my lungs out at the concert HDJSDJSH
4. knee socks - WHEN YOU WALKED AROUND THE HOUSE WEARING MY SKY BLUE LACOSTE AND YOUR KNEE SOCKS!!! the riff in this song actually plays on loop in my head and i was so obsessed with this song for ages and i have this hyperspecific image in my head of guitarist!xiao playing this riff and some day i will actually write that i swear
3. arabella - fuck my life WHY AM I NO ONE'S ARABELLA!!! ok let me bffr this song changed my life /j ok but the bridge is SO AKJSDKJASDK this song is so hot and i need to date someone who would write a song like this abt me HAHAHA but real talk this song is immaculate!
2. 505 - it would be a crime against humanity not to include this song bc it has permanently altered my brain chemistry. i mean, c'mon "i'd probably still adore you with your hands around my neck" and "but i crumble completely when you cry" I MEAN WHAT THE HELL . WHAT ABOUT MY MENTAL HEALTH??? the build-up to the beat drop in this song is so crazy i will never not be amazed by it basically go listen to 505 it will change your life!!!
1. snap out of it - i don't even know either. HAHAHASKJDSKJD okay i have such a weird attachment to this song that i cried real tears hearing it live. i honestly don't even know how to explain it i just Really Love this song aHHHH
honourable mentions : do i wanna know, fluorescent adolescent, why'd you only call me when you're high, i bet you look good on the dancefloor, crying lightning, brianstorm & four out of five!
i'm so sorry i yapped a lot HDKSKJDKS i love talking abt my favourite artists, i hope that you like some of these songs too!! and also if you like arctic monkeys you might like the neighbourhood as well 👀 lmk if u give them a listen hehehe <333 and btw ilysm wave nonnie i am YOUR #1 fan!!!
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Top 10 Worst Album Covers of 2023 - Part 2/2
Part 1
#5. Lordi - Screem Writers Guild
You know, one of the key differences between drawing for illustration and for animation, is that animation does not require a whole lot of detail, especially on characters because that is just more stuff that has to move and more time spent on superfluous details. Illustration allows you get more detailed… but this may just be too detailed.
Also, I get the pun, but it still bothers me "Screem" is misspelled.
#4. Various Artists - A Very Metal Christmas
I'm sorry, but you cannot make Christmas a "badass" holiday.
#3. Dungeon Wolf - The White Elf
The sad thing is… the last time Dungeon Wolf had an album cover on this list, was an improvement. It was disgusting as Hell, but it was at least competently put together, I mean… do I even need to explain why this is awful? It should be pretty obvious right? Then again I thought it would be pretty obvious to not take influence for your album cover from Adema's "Topple the Giants" and Louis Prima's "The Call of the Wildest". It's got a frame and everything too, it's like the most basic ass photoshop job ever, I could have done this when I was learning to use Photoshop in High School. The worst thing is, I'm pretty sure it's intentional, I'm fairly certain that the guys behind Dungeon Wolf just want attention and will try to get it in anyway that doesn't involve putting in any actual effort. Congrats, you got your consolation prize, your participation trophy, bronze medal, you reached third place again, even your practically offensive album cover wasn't bad enough to be number one, but to be number one means you would actually have to try, put genuine effort into what you do.
I doubt this is the last we'll see of Dungeon Wolf, but we can hope, right?
#2. Willie Nelson - Bluegrass
I know it is… wrong to speak ill of our patron saint of country and folk music Willie Nelson, but my autistic ass just wants him to back the Hell up. I can get the blue tinting, the weird effect on the edge, I can buy all that, I can vibe with that, but I don't want an old man getting so close in my face I can hear him breathing, frankly I don't really want anyone that close to my face without my consent. Willie, please, back up!
#1. Parannoul - After the Magic
There is thought that goes into ranking these lists. I really do have to think about what the intent behind the album cover is, if it's funny bad or just normal bad, sometimes I even have to ask if I actually hate the image or if I'm just attaching something around the album to the actual album artwork. However, something I do have to think about is, "Can I really argue that this is the 'worst' album cover", like I have to justify this to myself before I justify it to you. I mention all of this because, as soon as I laid eyes on this album cover, this bright ass photo with a television static filter placed over it, this eye-burning eye-sore of an album cover, I knew this immediately had to have the number one spot. There are more boring album covers, album covers that are lazier, more offensive, uglier, grosser, sillier, album covers that actually make me uncomfortable to look at, but this album cover is just the least good. There it is, worst album cover of the year.
Honourable Mentions:
Melanie Martinez - Portals; You know, I think even Marilyn Manson was done with this schtick at one point.
Roger Waters - The Dark Side of the Moon Redux; Obviously, the best way to improve one of the greatest album covers of all time is to shrink it down and put in something's eye, clearly.
Sufjan Stevens - Javelin; This would have been on the list if I wanted to have a three-way tie on the list.
Flume - Arrived Anxious, Left Bored; This album cover is a mood and I hate it.
Tim Hecker - No Highs; It was between this and the Foo Fighters cover.
U2 - Songs of Surrender; Come on guys... You're better than this.
Veil of Light - Sundancing; Okay, honestly, I hate pastels. Not enough of a reason to put it on the list proper, but I hate pastels.
Fairly Odd Bops; This was on the list before I remembered that Dungeon Wolf did a thing.
Everything But The Girl - Fuse; I'm sorry, F U S and E do not make shadows that look remotely like E B T or G.
Haken - Fauna; I'll admit, I kinda like this one, but it's so silly. It's the kind of bad that loops around and becomes good.
#music#art#album art#album covers#bad album covers#top 10 list#rock and roll#pop music#Album Covers Wall (Hall) of Fame
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disability frustration playlist
warning! almost-vent stuff ahead, it's not meant to be inherently negative or vent-y but definitely could come off that way so this warning is here in case anyone isn't wanting to see that right now!
i made a playlist! i'm not going to link it here because i don't want to share my spotify account, but i'll list the songs/artists on it and also the lyrics/lines that made me add them (some segments are much longer than others). it's basically a playlist to express my frustration with physical disability and how i feel sometimes about it
Body Terror Song - AJJ
"I'm so sorry that you have to have a body I'm so sorry that you have to have a body, oh yeah I'm very sorry that you have to have a body One that will hurt you, and be the subject of so much of your fear It will betray you, be used against you, then it'll fail on you my dear"
Consequences - Lovejoy
"What's this, the consequences of my actions, now?" "'Cause I haven't slept in about a week, I stay up thinking I will die"
Hungover In Jonestown - Amigo The Devil
"No-one ever chooses to be a flawed design"
Gilded Lily - Cults
"Haven't I given enough?"
I Can't Handle Change - Roar
I can't really explain why this one is on here, just.. the vibes
Oh Klahoma - Jack Stauber
Again, really just the vibes. No specific wording
I / Me / Myself - Will Wood
"It's been a point of contention between myself and this Body that they stuck me in"
Body - Mother Mother
Literally the entire song. I don't think it's about disability, more negative self image, but it still hits the same for me
Alien Blues - Vundabar
"My teeth are yellow, hello world Would you like me a little better if they were white like yours?"
Be Nice To Me - The Front Bottoms
"I got boulders on my shoulders Collar bones begin to crack There is very little left of me and it's never coming back There are certain things you ask of me And there are certain things I'll lack" "You say I'm changing Sorry I didn't know I had to stay the same"
Interlude: I'm Not Angry Anymore - Paramore
Again, the whole song. It's the vibes, and also a very short song, so while I could quote it I am not going to (it hits better if you listen to it)
so that's the playlist! i'm honestly not expecting much interaction on this post, just kinda wanted to put it out there cause i'm proud of the playlist lmao
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remember.
----♡----
pairing: rintaro suna x female reader.
genre: yandere, dark, light romance. // one shot, 4k words.
synopsis: abusive relationships can seem impossible to leave. when you open up to a classmate, your life takes a dramatic turn in the best and worst ways imaginable.
content warnings: assault, domestic abuse (not from suna), descriptions of violence, yandere themes.
----♡----
“hey, kid.” suna’s voice caught your attention as you passed by him in the university corridor. he was quiet, only speaking loud enough for you to hear right as you were walking by.
“hey, rintaro.” you stopped for a moment, refusing to look up at the tall man towering over you.
“i haven’t seen you in a while. everything okay?” he leaned against the wall and clutched a textbook to his chest. “you haven’t even been to class. kinda been missing my project partner.”
“you got my work though, right?” you asked him, partially covering your face with your hair. “i emailed it to you.”
“i did.”
“okay… good.” you cleared your throat, awkwardly shuffling and offering a suspiciously sudden goodbye.
“hey, wait-" suna grabbed your wrist to keep you from leaving. the small amount of pressure more than enough on your deep bruise to make you wince.
suna noticed your pained expression and immediately let go, stepping back.
“i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to hurt you. i just wanted to ask you if-“
“it’s okay!” you interrupted, knowing you’d already spoken to him for too long. you needed to get out of there before anyone noticed. “you didn’t hurt me. sorry, i have to go. bye!”
your behaviour was erratic. your speech was rushed; forced and strained with every word as you tried your best to appear normal.
unfortunately it was much harder to pretend everything was okay than you’d originally thought it’d be.
you quickly turned and headed down the hallway to drop off the assignments to your other professor. the last one you’d have to see for the day before heading home. you were almost there. so close you might not even run into him.
you’d hoped, anyway.
----♡----
after seeing your professor, you walked out into the fresh evening air. the cold stinging your cheeks and the wind pushing your hair out of your face.
your cheeks burned from the freezing air, but it was your black eye was that hurt the most.
“i’m sorry, i just lost my temper.” his words echoed in your head, “you shouldn’t have pissed me off.”
you nodded, essentially agreeing with him. it’s true, if he didn’t get mad, he wouldn’t have hit you. and why was he mad? because of something you did. so really, it was your own fault.
you were the one apologizing to him that night. doing anything you could to make it up to him. all of this with a deep purple bruise forming on your face.
when he finally left your dorm and went back to his, you were mentally exhausted. you fell asleep and woke up right before your second class of the day.
he had started forcing you to miss classes, to do everything at home and only go in to submit your work. this was for two reasons.
the first, you could spend more time with him due to your schedules. if yours was freed then you’d have more time together.
the second was to stop you from talking to other men. completely.
...and then he found out suna was your lab partner.
“i don’t want you working with him.”
“i have to. the professor is the one who chooses.”
“then work from home and submit the stuff online. that guy is a manipulator. he’s dangerous and will take advantage of you. i just know it.”
you’d never gotten that type of vibe from suna, but you obeyed your boyfriend because you didn’t want to know what would happen if you didn’t.
secretly, though, you missed class. you missed working with him. laughing, getting to know each other. he’d become a good friend over the past year and since you had the same majors, you two shared quite a few classes.
he was calm. funny and quiet, but definitely not timid. his energy made him come off tough, but not scary. if anything, he made you feel… safe.
just for those few hours you had together.
and whenever class would end, you found yourself missing that feeling.
----♡----
“i have to go to class tomorrow.” you said, refusing to make eye contact with your boyfriend who’d invited himself over to your dorm.
just like he does every. single. night.
“why? you gonna go talk to that suna guy?” he approached you, giving you a terrifying smile that you know wasn’t coming from a place of happiness.
“yuji… please.” your words were barely a whisper when you felt his fingers wrap around your throat. “my professor told me i need to start going. my grades are falling behind.”
his fingers tapped rhythmically against your skin. dancing skillfully as he toyed with the idea of choking you. you held your breath, expecting the worst.
“you should try harder.” he growled, digging his fingertips into your neck and you clenched your eyes closed. “get your grades back up so you don’t have to spend any more time with that guy.”
“okay, okay!” you grabbed onto his wrist and his eyes widened. “i will! i’ll get my grades up so i don’t need to see him anymore.”
“good girl.” he smiled, the evil expression he’d previously worn had melted away into a false image of a kind man. “always listening so well for me.”
yuji leaned in and kissed you. you kissed back, barely, but just enough for him to be satisfied and leave you alone.
“time for me to go.” he sighed as he heard the dorm advisor do a final walk through to knock on the doors and let the students know it was time for guests to leave.
“see you tomorrow?” he asked, tilting your chin up to look at him.
“sure…” you whispered. you trembled under his touch and wanted nothing more than for him to leave your sight.
“good. it’s a date.” he said happily and gave you another kiss, practically skipping down the hallway back to his own room.
you shut and locked your door, desperately wishing that was the last time you’d ever have to see him.
----♡----
“well, well, well.” suna cooed as you took your seat next to him. “as i live and breathe, i never thought i’d see the day. you finally made it to class.”
you nodded and pulled out your books.
“had to. my grades are slipping.” you sighed, looking around at the science classroom. “what are we doing today?”
“lab day.” suna said as he nudged an instruction sheet towards you. “should we put on our coats and get to it?”
“okay...”
you started to have an internal panic attack. your wrists were as bruised as the black eye you were hiding behind your hair.
suna stepped away to get your lab coats.
this would all be visible, and you didn’t want suna (or anyone) to see any of it.
you nervously approached your professor and she looked up at you with a disinterested stare.
“ma’am, i need to be excused from class today.”
“absolutely not.” she scoffed, “unless you want to fail my class, which i know you can’t afford to do, you’ll stay and do your lab.”
you opened your mouth to reply but she kept speaking.
“go put up your hair, roll up your sleeves and get your lab coat on. you should be thankful you have such a competent partner.” she crossed her arms, leaning back in her chair, “actually, i think the two of you should spend some time together. he’s my top student and you definitely need some tutoring.”
“i don’t think that’s necessary-“
“mr. suna, come up here please.”
suna walked up with a confused look, unsure as to why he was being brought in to the conversation.
“something i can help with?” he asked.
“yes,” the professor smiled, “i’d like the two of you to do tutoring sessions a minimum of twice a week, an hour each time. could you do that?”
“oh, sure. i don’t mind.” he smiled, “was that all? we should get to our assignment.”
you felt backed in to a wall. of course you were okay with this, you enjoyed spending time with suna.
unfortunately, you were terrified of the repercussions.
even worse, there was nothing you could do about it.
when you got back to your table, you put your hair up and silently thought of a plan. keep your head down, don’t make eye contact. maybe he wouldn’t notice.
you rolled up your sleeves and put on your white coat. it was barely long enough to hit your wrists, but did a decent job of hiding the bruises.
the first half of the lab went well. suna explained things in a way that made it easy to comprehend and you were genuinely enjoying yourself.
until you completely forgot.
you began to pour the green liquid into the tube. suna was writing his lab report when he looked up and noticed your mistake.
“oh, hey,” he stood up, putting his hand over yours to tilt the container back up. “you need to pour it slower, like this.”
when it started to pour just as he’d wanted, he let go and you found yourself missing the brief comfort of his touch.
“good job! you did it.” suna smiled and you looked up at him with an excited expression. finally. finally you were getting something right.
when the two of you made eye contact, his smile immediately dropped into a look of concern.
“what happened to your eye?”
“oh,” you stepped back, covering it with your hand. “i fell.”
suna carefully held onto your wrist and you winced in pain. his intentions were to move your hand away from your eye, but he took immediate notice of your reaction and pushed your sleeve down.
the bruises in the shape of fingerprints stained your skin a deep purple.
“what about here?” he stepped closer. you tried to read his expression but he looked completely emotionless.
“from the same fall, i’m just clumsy.”
“and your neck?”
suna pushed back your lab coat to see the same fingerprint bruises scattered around your neck.
you were suddenly thankful you’d chosen the table in the far back end of the classroom. nobody was ever watching.
“yeah.” you said, practically a whisper. “i’m just really clumsy.”
suna leaned down and looked into your eyes.
“why don’t i believe you?”
“five more minutes!” the professor called, interrupting your intense conversation and the two of you snapped back into action.
you finished your lab report and quickly packed up your stuff before rushing out the classroom door.
suna followed closely behind.
“it’s your boyfriend, isn’t it?”
you stopped dead in your tracks and turned around to look at him. suna’s expression was no longer emotionless. he was angry.
“okay,” you sighed, grabbing his wrist to pull him to a secluded space outside. the two of you sat down under a large tree, away from everyone else.
“yuji gets upset with me and… hurts me… sometimes.” you choked out. “i haven’t told anyone because i’m scared of what he’ll do to me. i haven’t left him because i’m scared of him. i’m stuck.”
you hadn’t said these words out loud to anyone, ever, and the way they were flowing so freely had you crying before you were even aware of it.
“please don’t tell anyo-“
“i’ll take care of it.”
you looked up at him. suna looked completely calm, his voice smooth and gaze held on you.
“what do you mean?”
suna stood up and ran his hands through his hair.
“i mean i’ll take care of it.” he smiled, “see you tomorrow afternoon for tutoring?”
“wait, suna-“
“later!” he gave you a passive wave before walking back towards the university building.
----♡----
that evening you waited for yuji to come by your dorm, but he never did.
you waited for him to call you, but he didn’t.
you worried about what suna had meant. maybe he was going to talk to him, maybe even threaten him. you’d hoped he wouldn’t do that, but you really didn’t know what he was capable of.
surely the rumours about him couldn’t be true. an honour's chemistry major being involved in a more sinister, underground group that nobody even knew if it was real or made up?
he was too nice. there was no way.
----♡----
after class you headed back to your dorm to get ready for your evening. suna had asked you to meet him under the same tree from the day before. around 7pm.
you debated on calling yuji, but ultimately decided against it. maybe he’d come to his senses. maybe he was remorseful, and just wanted to move on. to leave you alone and pretend your relationship never happened.
that was what you wished for the most.
----♡----
you stepped out into the cold evening air. the wind blowing softly and brushing the hair out of your face.
you clutched your books to your chest and took a short cut through the back fields separating the dorms from the main university campus.
you checked your phone, you were early. suna would be there in about 15 minutes.
you reached down to grab your phone when it was immediately snatched from your hands.
“you did this, didn’t you?” a familiar voice snapped at you. you glanced up to see yuji, sporting a similar black eye and a bandaged cut on his cheek.
“i- no, of course not!”
he rolled his eyes at your reply, clearly not willing to listen to a word you were saying. yuji grabbed your wrists, forcing you to drop your books and pushed you against the back wall of the university.
“you did. tell me right now. everything you said. who you said it to. and why.” the look in his eyes was horrifying. scarier than any other look he’s given you before.
this made it seem like his previous bouts of anger were nothing but minor inconveniences.
“i didn’t-“
yuji pulled back, immediately hitting your chin with a hard punch that knocked your head back into the concrete wall.
“try again.”
your vision was hazy. mind blurring memories together and you couldn’t even form a proper sentence.
you felt a warm, wet sensation cascading down the back of your neck and were immediately soothed by the feeling. the warmth was comfortable, even though you didn’t know what it was from.
yuji’s hand wrapped around your throat and he pressed his forehead to yours. his fingers dug roughly into your windpipe, causing you to choke out the remaining air in your lungs. you felt yourself get sleepy, closing your eyes and letting darkness overtake you as your body went limp.
----♡----
“hey, wake up.”
snapping fingers in your face had you looking around curiously. you couldn’t focus on your surroundings. it was unclear who was with you, unclear what was happening around you, and unclear why you were there.
the sounds of multiple men. grunting, panting. speaking quietly between deep breaths and harsh exertion.
what were they doing?
“hey.” the fingers snapped in front of your face again.
“what…” was all you could manage to say. your body felt heavy. weak. you were just so tired. all you wanted to do was fall asleep. you submitted to the exhaustion, closing your eyes again.
“don’t go to sleep.” a soothing voice lifted the back of your neck, pressing something soft against your head. “stay awake and listen to me.”
“ya like beatin’ up girls, huh?”
whack
“wanna put a girl half your size in the hospital, for what? to feel like more of a man?”
whack
“a real man would never hit a woman.”
whack
“a real man would beat the shit out of losers who do hit women, right ‘tsum?”
“right. maybe we’ll even put him in the hospital.”
whack
whack
“oh, he’s gonna be there once we’re done.”
you finally recognized the last voice. it was suna.
he spoke again, his voice raspy and dark but still audible from where you were.
“i hope to fucking god you didn’t hurt her so badly that she’s knocked out…” suna trailed off and let out a small chuckle. “because there’s nothing i want more than for her to hear you cry like a little bitch when this blade goes right…”
the sound of yuji’s sudden scream was immediately muffled by what you were sure was the hand of the other man.
“…through you.”
your eyes widened and you were starting to understand what was happening.
all you could feel around you was danger.
you started to hyperventilate. panic was taking over.
“focus on me. come on, we need to get out of here.”
“who…” your head started to hurt now. badly.
“my name is osamu.” he bent down and cradled you in his arms, bringing you close to his chest and picking you up bridal style. “hold on to me if you can.”
“i’m scared…” you whispered.
“i know.” he murmured, carrying you away from the scene and back through the field. “i’ll keep you safe. we need to go to the hospital.”
“what about…”
“the only thing you need to worry about is stayin’ awake right now, okay? it’ll all be okay.” osamu’s voice was soothing. his body was warm and his strong arms supported your body in a way that made you never want to leave his hold.
you gave him a weak nod. even if you wanted to get away, you couldn’t. so you decided to trust in this man and hope for the best.
----♡----
“hey, sweetheart.” the calm voice of a nurse slowly woke you up. “you’re finally awake.”
“where…” you choked out, your throat was dry and you could barely make out where you were. it was all so… confusing.
“you’re in the hospital.” she said as she stood on her tiptoes to change the fluids on your iv pole. “you were assaulted. your injuries aren’t good but you’ll make a full recovery.”
the nurse leaned back down and held onto your hand. “you have a real knight in shining armour, you know. your boyfriend hasn’t left your side since you were admitted. he’s going to be so happy when he finds out you woke up.”
boyfriend?
your heart started to race at the thought of yuji coming in. you looked around, preparing for the worst when you heard footsteps enter the room.
“hey, sleepyhead.”
“speak of the devil.” the nurse smiled, giving your hand a squeeze. “i’ll let you two have some privacy. please press the call button if you need anything, i’ll come back and check on you soon.”
the footsteps grew closer and you heard the squeak of a chair being pulled up next to your bed. you opened your eyes to see suna giving you a compassionate smile.
“rintaro?” you whispered, “what are you doing here?”
“making sure you’re okay.” he crossed his arms, “been here since you were admitted.”
you tried your hardest to remember even coming to the hospital, but you just couldn’t. everything was gone after your head hit that wall.
“what… happened?” you asked, your eyes pleading for him to be honest.
“someone attacked you and your boyfriend.” suna leaned in, “do you not remember anything?”
“i remember yuji being upset with me…” you blinked, your mind working as hard as it could to remember something of importance. “my head hit the wall and it’s kind of fuzzy after that.”
“i see.” suna nodded.
“wait, how did you know i was in here?”
“some people mentioned an attack on campus. i got worried when you were late for our study session, and when your phone rang and you didn’t answer i felt like something was up.” he shrugged, taking a moment to think of his next words. “i called the hospital and asked if you were here, and then came right over when they confirmed it.”
“oh. okay…” you went to scratch an itch on your scalp and were met with searing pain at the slightest bit of pressure. “ow!”
“careful.” he smiled, taking your hand away from your head. “it’s gonna be sore for a while.”
“yeah…” you trailed off, trying to make sense of the situation. “what happened to yuji?”
“why do you care?”
“huh?” you glanced at suna who’s expression had turned sour.
“why do you care about what happened to him? he could've killed you.”
“i just wanted to know if he…” your voice was shaky and you tried to compose yourself. “if there was a possibility of him coming after me again.”
“not a single chance.” suna leaned over the railing of the hospital bed and took your hand. “besides, even if there was, i won’t let anything happen to you.”
----♡----
you’d found out yuji had suffered from severe injuries almost taking his life. he was beaten, stabbed, and his spinal cord suffered so much damage he was permanently paralyzed from the waist down.
while you were relieved the abuse would be over, you constantly wondered who had assaulted him.
you remembered telling suna and him saying he’d take care of it, surely that wasn’t him, right? there was no way suna could do something like that.
----♡----
months went by while you recovered from your injuries. you’d been discharged from the hospital after 3 weeks, and suna had stuck by your side every day.
“i’m happy to say you’ve essentially made a full recovery.” the doctor smiled, shaking your hand. “i’m so proud of your progress. you’re truly a walking miracle.”
“what about my memory?” you asked, “when will i remember what happened?”
“oh, you might not ever remember. you hit your head hard and from what we gather, you were unconscious.” the doctor stood up, clutching his clip board before walking out. “it’s probably for the best that you don’t remember what happened. you should focus on moving on, now. take care.”
----♡----
“well, should we celebrate?” suna asked as you walked out of the hospital together. you stopped, causing him to turn and look down at you. “what’s up?”
“i just wanted to say thank you…” you said, feeling your face getting hot. “i don’t think i could’ve done this without you.”
“you could’ve. you’re the strongest person i’ve ever met.” he leaned down, brushing the hair out of your face. the same hair that used to cover the deep bruises, now showing your true complexion. “and the most beautiful.”
you felt your heart flutter at his sudden compliment. suna’s hands found your waist and you instinctively draped your arms over his shoulders.
“you really mean that?” you asked, looking into his eyes.
“of course i do.” he smiled, leaning in to give you the long awaited kiss the two of you had been dying for. his lips were soft and you melted into his arms. he pulled away, resting his forehead on yours. “beautiful in every possible way.”
you felt tears well up as you were being complimented. the sweetest, kindest, most handsome man touching you so delicately and speaking to you with nothing but respect.
you'd completely fallen in love with him, and it was everything you ever could’ve asked for.
----♡----
a few weeks after the two of you made it official, your honeymoon phase was in full force. you couldn’t keep your hands off of each other. you were experiencing your first true relationship that made you feel loved and you cherished at every moment.
one evening, you decided to go to suna’s dorm to surprise him.
knock knock
“rintaro?” you called out, opening the door to let yourself in. “are you home?”
“in here, baby.” he replied from the kitchen. he was sharing an apartment style dorm with two other men, but you hadn’t met them yet. they weren’t ever there when you were.
“we finally get to meet your girl, huh?” one of them cooed as you walked in. he had dyed blonde hair and smirked at you as you walked by. “damn, she’s a looker, huh ‘samu?”
samu… why did that sound familiar?
“don’t be such a pig.” the other boy replied. you realized they were twins when he stood up and walked over to you. he smiled, holding out his hand. “nice to meet ya, i’m osamu.”
osamu.
no.
“my name is osamu…”
it couldn’t be.
“…hold on to me if you can.”
no, no, no.
the memories of the night of the assault came flooding back to you.
it only took a moment to realize...
...it wasn’t a random assault at all.
#suna drabble#rintaro suna#suna angst#rintaro suna angst#haikyuu angst#yandere haikyuu#yandere suna#yandere#haikyuu#suna#osamu miya#atsumu miya#miya twins#inarizaki angst#atsumu angst#osamu angst
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hello! I love your works so much! Can I request an angst to comfort scenario for #21 on your prompt list?
“It’s my fault for trusting you”
Feel free to use whichever character(s) you like!!
When the haikyu boys neglect you for another girl PT 3
Part One Part Two Part Three Part four Part Five
Word Count: 2.7K
Genre: angst,fluff
masterlist
Akaashi
You and Akaashi were beautiful people
Probably the most attractive pair of young adults that anyone can find
You were both top tier models in the industry
You always had a little rivalry between you but you always promised each other to never let it affect your ‘relationship’
“Beautiful darling, your beautiful” praised your photographer as you finished your shoot giving you air kisses on your cheeks. You thanked him and the rest of the staff and entered your dressing room sighing.
“Rough day?” Asked a voice, startling you a bit. You looked up to see your boyfriend, Akaashi Keiji sitting in the corner of your dressing room on a love seat.
“Gosh Keiji you scared me” clutching your chest dramatically “But yes, the day has been tiring Fabio has really been overworking me lately” you complained. Akaashi walks towards you and gave you a peck on the cheek “Aww poor baby” he cooed mockingly, “but don’t worry ‘bout it Y/N your sucess will be all be worth it eventually” he says making you smile.
“and besides, you’ve got a shoot with me soon anyways” he winks, making you chuckle. You finished removing your make-up as Akaashi tells you about his shoot today and Bokuto’s (your fellow model friend) antics.
You and Akaashi first laid eyes on eachother when you were both up and coming models, you both are under the same company. At first, both of your agents decided to make you spend time with each other to push the narrative of you being a couple anyways. However, since you and Akaashi had great natural chemistry it made your relationship great and made for a great photo too.
As much as the public loved your relationship and the saucy photos you tend to make together, they also thrived of the slight rivalry you guys had together or the times when you guys bother shot with other people (since it was easy for a fan to make a new ship off of two people literally standing next to each other.)
You spent the next day having what you and Akaashi called a ‘rest day,’ you both specifically clear your schedules for every 2nd and 4th saturday of each month to not do any work-related for the day and just bask in each other’s companies (as you were both busy and barely got enough time to see one another.)
You watched multiple movies, made your own homemade cookies and dinner, had pillow fights, built forts. You both were having so much fun, until you both got a call...Just then, the vibe changed you went from your free-spirited fun selfs back into work mode.
Your agent told you that two brands *Insert big fashion designer brand here* and *Insert another big fashion designer brand here* were having some form of standoff. To be honest, you didn’t really care about the context of the shoot(s) in this case, as your agents call ruined your day. They wanted you and Tsukishima Kei, to do some competing shoots and promotional videos for their brand against the other designer.
After getting all your information from your agent, you go back into the living and see Akaashi sitting down thinking deeply about something. “What was your call about?” you inquire sitting down next to him.
“Oh just some silly designer brand competition thing.” he mindlessly replies, still thinking deeply.
“Yeah same. So what’s got you thinking all deeply then?” you ask
“My fellow model is going to be Kiyoko Shimuzu” he sighed, making you blink repeatedly before immediately saying “You can’t do the shoot”
Kiyoko Shimuzu was japans beauty. Everybody loved her, she’s been a model since she was a child everyone wanting a grasp on her looks. The guys wanted her, the girls wanted to be here. Kiyoko Shimuzu was a force to be reckon with.
The real problem at hand wasn’t her stunning looks, popularity and fame. It was her connection with Akaashi. Before Akaashi went big and met you, he was Kiyoko’s boyfriend (well ex-boyfriend now) and they broke up because of long-distance or something like that.
However, to you, Kiyoko’s feelings for your boyfriend have never went away. Whenever you guys bumped into each other at red carpet events or runway shows, she always seemed to linger a bit too long around your boyfriend, which definitely wasn’t to your liking.
Akaashi lifted up his head from inside his palms and looked at you as if you had grown another head. “What do you mean, ‘I can’t do the shoot’” he asked in disbelief
“I mean, you can’t do the shoot” you reiterated not understanding why he didn’t understand.
Akaashi sighs before putting his face back in his hands to think, “Well I know you got to the shoot aswell Y/N who’s yours with.”
“Tsukki” You said nonchalantly say as if it was nothing, making Akaashi look at you again as if you were fully crazy before he had a chance to speak you cut him off saying “Don’t even start Akaashi.”
You and Tsukishima Kei, have best friends since you were kids. You weren’t romantic in any way shape or form, well at least you weren’t. Akaashi always claimed that that Tsukishima was in love with you, that you and Tsukishima were the perfect example of every ‘childhood friends-lovers trope’ ever, which to you wasn’t true. Everything between you and Tsukishima was and still is completely platonic which you can’t say the same for Akaashi and Kiyoko.
“You’re not doing the shoot” he says firmly as if he was your father.
“Oh so you can do your shoot with your literally EX GIRLFRIEND, but I can’t do mine with my best friend... yeah make sense” you say standing up, astounded.
“Y/N chill, If you’re so adamant about me not doing it with Shi- Kiyoko, then I wont” he says pulling your arm down making you land on him “and you better not do it with ‘Tsukki’” he mocked.
“Okay so none of us are doing the shoots?” you ask looking up at him
“Yup” he says
“Pinky promise,” you joked sticking out your pinky in his face.
“Pinky promise” he agreed hooking his finger around yours.
For the next month it seemed you were booked busy, you barely got to see your boyfriend as his agent had him running around all of Japan and even had him booked in some places in Europe for this month. Of course, you missed him, but you understand how busy it can be doing your line of work. You’ve been quite busy too, doing the usual shoots and runways.
Although he was busy, Akaashi basically went radio silent on you. You still expected him to reply to some of your messages or at least call once or twice when he had the chance, since he must have 10 minutes of break time and that's the bare minimum.
It’s been two weeks since you last saw Akaashi (and that was on your saturday rest day) and you were expecting him to come over today so you could have another. Since of course, Saturday ‘rest days’ were basically a tradition for you and Akaashi before you even started dating.
You had no text from Akaashi explaining his lateness/absense, so you just figured he wasn’t coming putting a damper on your day. You spent the day lounging around and shoving your face with your favourite snacks and food.
You get a text from Tsukishima which read:
Tsukishima: 1 Image Attached
Tsukishima: Looks whose boyfriend stumbled on set...
You didn’t respond as you were shocked at the sight you saw, the image was a picture of Akaashi and Kiyoko on set doing shots for the *insert the other rich designer brand* the shoot that you both agreed you wouldn’t do, which was also a LINGERE brand.
You felt betrayed, you both agreed to not do the shoot and it’s not like you did do yours. You made sure to turn it down the day you made your agreement. And he skipped on your traditional saturday ‘rest day’ without even giving you any word of him not planning on arriving.
You didn’t know what to do, do you confront him about it? Or do you wait for him to approach you? Since he would plan on telling you about this right? You eventually messaged Tsukishima a ‘thanks’ and you decided how you were going to handle the situation. Pop up on Akaashi and Kiyoko at the photoshoot.
You knew where it was at, since you had the address already from when your agent first offered you the idea. You drove to the place in a breakneck speed, strutting in there like a woman on a mission (which you technically were.) You decided to wait in Akaashi’s dressing room, not wanting to cause a scene at the shoot which would be bad for yours, Akaashi’s and Kiyoko’s image and would be a waste of the time of the staff and photographer there.
Akaashi finally finished the shoot and entered his room with a sigh not realising that you were sitting in the corner of his room. “Did you have a rough time?” you ask mockingly making him jump and his eyes widen as you were the last person he expected to be there. “Why so shocked, you weren’t expecting me?” you still keep the same mocking tone in your speech.
“Y/N I-” He started
“Y/N what?” You interrupted “Y/N I’m sorry for basically ghosting you for a month? I'm sorry for doing a shoot with someone who I know is still in love with me? I’m sorry for lying to you? I’m sorry for skipping out on our rest day with no explanation on where I am?” you stare at him as he stares back speechless.
“Oh, am I missing something?” you continue “Oh yes ‘Y/n I’m sorry for doing the shoot that we both agreed that we weren’t doing’” you sit down and wait for him to reply.
Akaashi puts his head down in shame, not really knowing what to say. Because of his silence, you roll your eyes and get up fed up with his lack of explanation. Before you fully leave Akaashi blocks your way with slight tears in his eyes “I had no other choice Y/N, I had to do all those shoots and travel other places with Kiyoko because sh-”
“Wait, that’s where you were?” you shout “Gallivanting around the country with HER!” you extend your arm pointing outside the door before you turn trying to leave again.
“N-No No Y/N you’ve got to listen to me” he said putting your hands on my shoulder “She has something, on me and I-I couldn’t I can’t get out of it. It’s deeper than just a simple shoot.” You were confused but you were so upset you just didn’t want to hear it so instead of listening to your boyfriend you decided to say “you’re so full of shit Akaashi” making him gasp at your coldness and the use of his last name. “ but hey I guess thats my fault for trusting you”
You finally left the room and went to go get a breather for a second with tears sparking in your eyes. You leaned against the wall and whispered “fuck” frustrated with the whole situation. Making you jump, Tsukishima said “you should go talk to him you know.”
“What do you know Tsukki” he cringed at the nickname
“I know more than you Y/N, just go talk to him.” he said making you squint your eyes at him wondering what information he held.
When you walked back to Akaashi’s dressing room practicing an apology in your head. But you paused your arrival hearing Akaashi talking to the one and only, Kiyoko Shimuzu in his room.
“Let’s face it Akaashi, now that I’ve got this sex tape of us, I basically own you.” she said to him making your eyes widen.
You decided the smartest thing to do was to pull out your phone and record as much as the conversation as you possibly could. Because you could already tell Akaashi was in a bind.
“The next thing I want you to do is...” she continued acting as if she was thinking “break it with Y/N!”
“No certainly not Kiyoko, you’re going too far.” he said making you smile internally that he still defended your relationship. “Me and Y/N are definitely NOT breaking up.”
“Akaashi are you forgetting that I have something over you.” she pulls out her phone and she plays a video, which you can only assume is the sex tape. You can hear a bunch of moans and groans which made your stomache ache.
Tired of hearing this, you burst into the room and say “What the fuck are you doing Kiyoko”
“Oh Y/N how lovely for you to join us...” she said with a smile, “I was just discussing with your ‘boyfriend’ plans for our next shoots.”
“I always knew you were a bitch.” you say shocking your head at her.
“What do you mean Y/N?” she says with a fake smile, not knowing that you were listening in on your conversation “Actually Akaashi was telling me something he had to tell you... isn’t that right Akaashi.” you both looked over at him and he was scared and speechless.
“Oh you mean how you’ve been blackmailing him for the past two weeks...” you accuse
“You have no proof of that.” She taunted
“Oh do I..” you rebuttal then pressing play on the recording you just took watching as both Kiyoko and Akaashi look shocked. Kiyoko scurries out the room knowing she’s been caught leaving you with a triumphant smile.
You sit down, gesturing Akaashi to sit next to you. “Akaashi, I’m so sorry for not listening to you earlier I felt so betrayed thinking that you went agaisnt out agreement, but I guess I was just being a self-obsessed bitch” you say with you now looking down in shame.
“Y/N” he says with you still not meeting his eye “Y/N look at me” he lifted your chin up so you met his eye “It’s fine, It’s completely fine you didn’t know of course you didn’t know, how would you know of sex tape I unknowingly did back when I was 16!” he exclaims “Its fine, we’re good” he pulls you into a hug and kisses you on the forehead.
After you both calm down, Akaashi explains how Kiyoko started to blackmail him and how the agency loved the idea of them two being together (not the blackmailing) as it created a jealousy storyline between you and her and how every time they met she kept proposing ridiculous demands.
“Also, how did you know I ended doing the shoot?” he asks
“Oh a little bird told me” you tease
“You mean a 6ft2 bird with blonde hair and a shit personality.” he retorts making you laugh
“Heyy don’t be so mean, if it wasn’t for him I wouldn’t of came to save the day.”
“True, I’d give him that.”
Eventually, you and Akaashi go to your agency and present all your evidence and claims that Kiyoko was blackmailing Akaashi. Although they were upset, that Akaashi did partake in a sex tape they knew that they’d be an even bigger scandal if you presented your news that Japans sweetheart Kiyoko Shimuzu was blackmailing Akaashi Keiji. So the agency thought it was in everyones best interest if they got Kiyoko to sign an NDA saying that she will never bring forth or share the Sex Tape to anyone and she’ll agree to be dropped from the agency.
Your life was great now, with Kiyoko off your back and Akaashi being back to his usual self you couldn’t wish for anything more. You ended up doing the shoot persuading the design brand person (whatever the name for it is) to agree to let you do the shoot together instead of with other people. Both brands let you, because who wouldn’t want Akaashi Keiji and L/N Y/N to do a shoot together?
AUTHORS NOTE: this is the longest work ive written for a single character and i am TIRED lol..I’m so glad you’ve enjoyed my other works so I hope you enjoy this one.. to be honest I think with my works I start off strong and end shitly :// However I wanted to do something different today by making them models instead of students so I hope you like it. Now im off to read some fanfic so you guys have a good day!! <3
#haikyuu x reader comfort#haikyu angst#haikyu x reader#haikyu scenarios#haikyuu fluff#haikyu#akaashi scenarios#akaashi x y/n#akaashi headcanons#akaashi keji x reader#akaashi x reader#akaashi angst#akaashi fluff#signedwithane😌
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Tattletale | (dark)stepbrother!Sam Wilson x reader
summary: your step-brother was kind enough to let you stay at his apartment just off-campus when you began your freshman year of college where he was a senior. unfortunately, his kindness ran out when he learned about your secret side-hustle.
word count: 4.7k
warnings: smut!! (noncon/heavy dubcon and stepcest, they’re not biologically related but were raised from adolescence as siblings), facefucking, slapping, choking, degradation, coercion, DP (with a toy), anal play, possessive behavior, unprotected creampie, lots of crying/implied dacryphilia
this is a dark fic containing triggering topics, please do not read if this would be triggering for upsetting for you in any way.
Your step-brother (and roommate… and technically your landlord) wasn’t usually home when you got back from your Econ class, so you jumped a bit when you saw him nursing a beer in your shared living room; apparently, he was waiting for you.
“Hey, Sammy,” you greeted sheepishly, suddenly feeling self-conscious when his eyes raked over your body— it was hot out, so you just had on a tank top and cut-off shorts, but now you wish you’d covered up more.
“Hey,” he nodded back, setting the beer down and leaning back on the couch, “you got time to talk for a minute?”
His tone made you a little nervous, but his casual body language set you at ease. He probably just wanted to ask if you could stay somewhere else over the weekend so he could have a girl over, or maybe he needed your help with one of his more difficult assignments— though frankly, you probably couldn’t help much with a senior-level project. “Sure,” you shrugged, setting your backpack down and slipping off your shoes to join him on the couch. “What’s up?”
“Nothing, really, I just feel like we don’t talk as much as we used to,” he explained with a little sigh. Something about the way he glanced to the side for a moment made you wonder if he was being completely transparent. “Remember when we were younger and we talked all the time? Or when I moved away to start here and we called every day? I miss that…”
You smiled a little, moving closer on the couch to rest your hand on his. “Me too,” you admitted. “I just figured you saw me as your annoying little sister.”
“I do,” he laughed, “but, you know, we used to be really close! You used to tell me everything. And now… now I don’t think you tell me everything.”
Your suspicion that this was more directed than he let on was growing, but you wanted to be close again, too, so you let it continue. “Well, we’re older now so it’s not quite the same…”
“I guess it’s normal for siblings to grow apart when they’re adults, but, I don’t know… I guess I just didn’t see it coming with us. And now that I’m letting you live here I thought it would be like old times; to be honest, that was part of why I had you move in in the first place.”
Just as you started to shift away, he flipped his hand and grabbed your wrist, stopping you from pulling away. “Sammy,” you whispered in shock, leaning back as much as you could even as he moved in closer.
“I think it’s the least you can do to be honest with me, sis,” he hissed.
“I— I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you protested, your gut sinking in fear of being reprimanded by him. He was so friendly 99% of the time, but you were still terrified of those few memories you had of him getting angry with you. Disappointing him was one of your greatest fears.
Sam laughed, but he didn’t exactly seem amused. “Stop playing dumb, honey, I think you know what this is about.”
“I… I don’t…” you stammered, your heart dropping further when he reached for his phone.
“Got a text from Steve today,” he explained as he unlocked it. “Wanna guess what it was?”
You swallowed dryly, more sure than ever that it was what you dreaded most. “I don’t know, Sam…”
“I’ll give you a hint,” he grimaced, reading something from the screen. “Kinky virgin horny for cock, 18, freshman at NYU.”
You looked away but he instantly grabbed your face and turned you to look at him. “You know, I let you live here while you were in college so you could get an education. Not be a fucking slut. Did you think I wouldn’t find your OnlyFans? Steve found it first, god knows what he did with these pictures before he sent them to me. Is this what you wanted? Any guy— even a guy we know— to get off to these pictures?”
Your shoulders slumped and your chest deflated as you started to cry. “I’m s-so sorry, Sammy—”
“Don’t call me that,” he sneered. “How stupid are you? Did you think these would stay private? Guys trade these all the time, they’re never secret for long. How long have you been doing this, huh? Must’ve been a while considering the sheer magnitude of content. Looks like your first post was on your 18th birthday— Jesus fucking Christ, you couldn’t wait a minute could you? I was there that day… when did you sneak off to take this little number, huh?”
You didn’t want to look as he turned the phone to you, but his hand tight around your wrist was a reminder not to struggle too hard. You remembered taking the photo, and it had been during your party. The idea of how wrong it would be to strip down in your parent’s bathroom to snap a picture in the mirror had only been more encouraging at the time. For some reason you hadn’t considered that someone would find it; you cringed at the idea that Steve saw you entirely nude, let alone your brother. It was humiliating.
“And what about this one, huh? How fucking slutty are you?” he spat, pulling up another picture and shoving the phone in your face as you were confronted with the image of you on your bed with your legs spread, fingers toying with your clit. “You really don’t leave anything to the imagination.”
“Sam, I didn’t— you weren’t supposed to—”
“Just stop talking. I can barely look at you right now,” he shook his head. “This stuff is seriously depraved, sis. The idea of all these guys drooling all over my little sister… and you actually encouraged them, the fuck is wrong with you?”
Tears poured down your face, and you felt like the anger radiating off of him would burn your skin somehow.
“And don’t give me some stupid fucking sob story about how you’re doing this to pay for school when I know damn well that mom and dad pay for your classes and I pay your fucking rent. You didn’t do it for money; you did it for fun. You did it ‘cause you’re a shameless fucking slut.”
“‘M not,” you denied, “Sam, really— I’m still a virgin, I don’t— you know I don’t do that.”
“You just fantasize about it. And chat with strangers online about it. And make videos going on and on about how bad you wanna get fucked.”
You shuddered as you realized: “You watched one of my videos?”
He grinned and pulled you closer. “Baby… I watched all of them.”
Completely at a loss for words, you silently tried to squirm away only for him to wrap his other arm around you and pull you closer, ignoring your sobs of fear and confusion.
“You’re actually sorta talented, for a dumb little virgin who had no idea what she’s getting herself into,” he purred against your ear, starting to push up your tank top.
“N-no,” you whimpered, “Sam, stop— I’m sorry. I’ll delete the account, I’m sorry.”
“Too late for apologies, little sis,” he cooed, “it’s not just the account. It’s that you made those posts from my apartment, you took those pictures in the room that I gave you. Not to mention the way you walk around in these tight clothes, teasing me just because you can. This goes way deeper than a few dirty pictures, sweetheart, and you know it.”
When you tried to wriggle away again, he seemed to exert nearly no effort at all to be able to spin you around and pull you down into his lap, where the shape of his hard cock pressing against your ass was obvious. “Sam, s-stop, this isn’t funny.”
“Damn right it isn’t funny, I’m dead fucking serious,” he growled against your ear. “What was it that you said in your most recent video, the one where you were wearing a collar and using that gaudy pink vibe on your clit? ‘I need your cock to ruin my hole, daddy’... am I remembering that right?”
Hesitantly, you nodded, and he laughed darkly against your ear as he pulled your hips into his.
“Say it, then. Like you said it in the video.”
“Sam, no—”
“No?” he repeated incredulously. “You can’t say no to me, honey. Cause if you do, I’m gonna send all these pictures and videos to mom and dad, tell them all about how their precious little angel is selling her ass on the Internet with the phone they pay for and the laptop they bought. What are they gonna say to that? Think they’ll take you back after that, let you stay with them when I kick you out? As if. So unless you think one of these creeps online is gonna give you a place to stay, seems like I’m your only option.”
You choked on a sob as you cried harder, hating that he was right.
“So you need to start doing what you’re told, or you’re gonna end up doing a lot worse with someone much less generous than me, got it?”
Terrified of him but unable to imagine the alternative, you nodded.
“Then. Fucking. Say it.”
“I…” you began, sounding weak and weepy compared to the original video you were quoting, “I need your cock… to ruin my hole… daddy.”
“Eh, needs improvement but it’s a start,” he shrugged, throwing you down onto the couch and climbing on top of you. When you tried to protest, or at least turn around to face him, he slapped your ass harshly and it stung even through the denim shorts. “I have needs too, sis. Can’t hardly get any when you’re here all damn day being a fucking cockblock. And frankly, since you started dressing like this and acting like a whore, I haven’t even been able to think about anybody else… can’t get hard for anyone but my slutty little sister.”
He leaned down to press his body against yours, pinning you against the cool leather by your shoulders.
“Steve told me about your account weeks ago, babe… I’ve been getting off to your cute little pictures ever since.”
It made you wince, but it made him laugh. Shame and fear and disgust swirled in your gut and made you nauseous, his grip on you tight enough to leave a bruise as he dug his fingertips into your skin. When he sat back up, he started pulling at your jean shorts roughly, ripping them slightly as he shoved them down to your thighs.
“Wow, look at this pretty little ass,” he groaned. “A thousand guys have seen it, but it’s better in person.” He slapped you again on either cheek, hard enough to make you yelp. “What’s the matter, sis, I thought you liked being spanked? You talk about it all the time. You talk about how you want me to spank you raw and leave marks all over your body, hurt you and break you and claim you.”
“I— I wasn’t talking about you,” you defended, remembering how you always addressed the viewer when dirty talking in your videos, but keeping it generic enough that any guy could imagine it was him.
“Then who did you think about when you got off? Who was it that got you wet for your videos?” he pressed. “Because you’re wet right now… and I’m the only one here.”
You shook your head, you tried to speak to deny it, but words escaped you as he flipped you around and hovered above your face.
“Do you get wet for anybody, baby, is that it? Will you spread your legs for any cock? Or do you just have a special place in your cunt for your big brother?”
Your stunned silence earned you a slap to the face, sending your head spinning to the side as your cheek stung and burned. Just as the heat of the impact really started to get to you, he hit you on the other side, and again, until you finally gave him an answer: “You!” you yelped suddenly. “You, Sam, just you!”
He laughed a little, leaning down and capturing your lips in an unexpected, dominating kiss. It was awkward and sloppy, exactly the sort of kiss one would expect when it was forced; just as passionless and confused on your end as a kiss to your step-sibling should be. But he moaned against you and forced his tongue deeper into your mouth, hands coming down to grope your tits through your tank top and bra. Trying to push him away was beyond useless, and he slapped you again without even breaking his lips away from yours. Soon he was reaching to pull down your top— no, wait, he was tearing through it, and your bra snapped like a rubber band against his strength. When he grabbed your breasts again, without any clothing in the way this time, your nipples were hard and sensitive between his fingers; it was so obvious that he smiled into the kiss, biting your lip playfully. “Wow, you really do like this. Your step brother’s forcing himself on you and you’re such a whore that you’re actually into it.”
He slapped your breast, just hard enough to sting, and you cried out; he did it again and your back arched.
“Yeah, I knew you just needed to be put in your place, little sis. Just needed me to fix your attitude, that’s all.” He wrapped his hand around your neck, not squeezing enough to cut off airflow but obviously threatening it, before leaning down to whisper in your ear: “get on the ground, on your knees.”
Even for what was left of your virginal innocence, you knew what he wanted. Wordlessly, your only sounds the weak little sobs that shook your chest, you slipped out from beneath him and onto the floor by the couch. He shifted to sit in front of you with wide legs, thick thighs spread as he looked down at you with an expression of anticipation.
“Get on with it, honey, I know you know how. Seen you choke on your toys a thousand times.”
After taking a stabilizing breath to cope with what was happening, shivering from the cold air on your exposed upper half, you sat up slightly and reached for his belt. You’d felt it pressed against you before, but now you could see the shape of his cock threatening to burst out of his jeans, so thick and long that you were confident he heard the little gasp you let out. And yet, you knew you had to trek forward, so you began to unclasp his belt before unzipping his fly. He lifted his hips to help you pull his pants and boxers down, but other than that he was too busy stroking the side of your face with his fingers in a move much too delicate for the situation. You stopped breathing for a second when you saw the size of him, his cock bouncing up when you released it to slap against his stomach.
“Sam, I can’t,” you sighed, starting to back away, “I’ve never— it won’t fit.”
“Nah, baby, it’s okay,” he encouraged gently, pulling you closer, “you can take it just fine. Just open your mouth, sis…”
He guided the tip of his cock between your lips, still swollen from his bruising kiss, and you whimpered when you felt his warm skin against your tongue, tasting the salty pre-cum that leaked out slow and steady.
“Yeah, just like that, now go ahead and suck on me,” he instructed, groaning when you closed your lips and hollowed your cheeks, using your tongue to tease the slit like you’d read online was a good thing to do. He chuckled and bucked up into you, holding your head as he started to pump his hips and slowly fill your mouth to the brim. “See, you can do it— now choke on it.”
When he pushed in until you gagged, your first instinct was to push on his thighs and try to get away for air, but he held you down as he hissed through his teeth.
“I know you can take all of me in your throat if you just stop fucking fighting,” he hissed, slapping you one more time which caused your throat to open up in shock— and it was just enough for him to shove in deeper, groaning at the feeling. “Yeah, that’s it… fuck…” he sighed, moving his hips faster. The struggle for air made your eyes water (although you hadn’t really had much of a chance to stop crying in the first place) as your grip on his thighs tightened. “I bet your pussy is getting so wet for me right now,” he chuckled, “I bet you love choking on my cock, huh?”
You tried to shake your head but you couldn’t really move much; he pulled you off of his length by your hair, just in time to give you a much-needed sputtering gasp for air.
“Fuck, I’d love to fill that pretty throat with my come,” he smiled— a sinister sort of grin that made you shudder as you looked up with him, feeling spit and pre-cum on your lips and chin— “but I know what you want. Since you’ve spent all year begging to lose your virginity on the internet, I figure I’ll be nice and give you what you’ve been asking for.”
Before you could even begin to consider a response to that, he hoisted you up and threw you back onto the couch, spreading your legs as you looked away in shame.
“Yep, I was right, you’re fuckin’ soaked,” he laughed. “You nasty little slut, are you actually getting off on this? Wow.”
A renewed sense of ‘dear god this cannot happen’ shot through you as he leaned down and slid his cock over your folds, teasing your clit with his swollen head. “Sam, stop, please…”
“I’m kind of getting tired of you begging,” he hissed as he leaned down, glaring right into your eyes as you froze beneath him. “I’m obviously not going to stop,” he explained as his hand slipped around your throat, “you dumb fucking bitch.”
Your ability to fight back was taken with your opportunity to breathe, his strong fingers cutting off blood flow to your head quickly as he clamped down on your neck. Instantly you clawed at his hand, your vision starting to go a little spotty, and he laughed at you coldly before letting go. And when he finally did, his hand moved instead to hold both your wrists above your head while the other guided his cock into your pulsing entrance. When he pushed his hips forward, the air was punched from your lungs as your back arched, a sharp pain reverberating over your body from the stretch of him inside you.
“Fuck!” he groaned, pushing in deeper, slow but consistent. “You’re tight, baby, you really did need a cock to ruin this hole, huh? Fuck, ‘m gonna, just hold still…”
But how could you hold still, when every instinct had you moving your hips to try to push his cock out, your hands tightening into fists as they tried to fight against his strength. Of course, now that he was inside, he had a second arm to hold you down with, but the terrifying thing was that he really only needed the one. “Sam!” you sobbed, your own voice sounding foreign with the way it wavered and cracked.
“Yeah, baby, that’s me inside you,” he purred, “that’s your big brother’s cock tearing up this little pussy…”
When he roughly shoved the rest of himself inside, the tip of his cock found the end of you and your eyes shot open. He smiled down at you as he examined your face; twisted in pain, and glistening with tears turned greyish-black by your mascara.
“None of your toys ever went this deep in you before, huh? Poor thing, should’ve known you were all talk… you don’t even know how to take those big cocks you drool over. I can’t even imagine what you’ll be like when I put this in your ass.”
He cackled at the pure terror that danced over your expression, and the way your walls tightened around him briefly.
“Relax, sis, not today. I’m just sayin’, if you want me to keep my mouth shut to mom and dad, you’re gonna have to keep me happy. Lucky for you, I’m very happy right now, snug inside this sweet little cunt of yours…” he trailed off, leaning down to kiss your cheek and moving to suck on your ear, bite your neck, lick up and down over your pulse. He was waiting, you realized, for your body to relax so he could move inside you with less resistance. You were a little surprised he didn’t just jackhammer into you with no regard for your pain, but you had a feeling that part was coming soon anyways.
He reached down to pull your legs up, guiding them to wrap around his hips, and the new angle forced his cock a little deeper which made you squeal. The sound morphed into a stuttered moan, however, when he pulled back out of you slowly, savoring every detail of your walls as he sighed against your skin.
When he slammed back home, your nails dug into your own palms.
“Baby,” he whispered, “you’re close, aren’t you? Just from this. You always came so fast in your videos…”
Irritatingly, he was right; your walls were flexing as more slick coated his thick shaft, dripping down until you could hear the wetness whenever his hips slapped into yours. You couldn’t help it, considering how he pushed right into your g-spot with every stroke inside you, hitting every sensitive place harder and better than any toy ever had.
“See, baby? We were made for each other,” he cooed. “You were made to take this cock. You were meant to be my little fucktoy.”
You hated the way his words only added to your pleasure, pushing you right up to the edge— which his cock slamming all the way into you one last time finally sent you over.
“Oh, fuck,” he gasped when he felt the force of your orgasm, smiling pridefully as your eyes fluttered shut and your head fell back against the couch. “So sensitive, sweetheart, and so fucking wet for me…”
He fucked you faster and— somehow— deeper, chasing his own release with aggressive thrusts into you. Each of his low grunts against your ear sent shivers down your spine, your legs around him tightening to pull him closer.
Just as you thought he might find his rhythm for a while and maybe, if you were lucky, be finished with you soon, he pulled out quickly and patted your thigh. “Hands and knees, baby,” he instructed, watching you shakily turn around and lift yourself on weak arms. It was short-lived, though, as he pushed your face back down into the couch cushion, forcing your back into a dramatic arch that made you feel like your body was on display for him. As if that wasn’t nerve-wracking enough, you couldn’t even see him much anymore, which meant you had no idea what he was reaching for when he leaned back— but you heard what it was when he turned it on. “Oh, you recognize this?” he mused. “It was my favorite of everything I saw you use.”
He rubbed the vibrator over your folds slowly, chuckling a little when you jolted each time it brushed against your clit. You didn’t really understand why he would want to fuck you with a vibe when he seemed to have been enjoying doing it himself; but then he slid it up a little higher, to your other hole, and you gasped. “S-Sam,” you pleaded.
“I know you took it here before. I watched you do it. I even heard you the night you filmed it— these walls are thinner than you think, sis.”
Shame burned on your face as you imagined him listening to you put something up your ass for the first time, only for him to see the video the next morning when you uploaded it.
“Do you think it’s gonna feel different when I put it in while I fuck you?” he mused, pushing the vibrating tip of it into your hole. Thankfully it was pretty slender, so the stretch wasn’t bad, but the vibrations were strong enough that you could feel them everywhere, and you realized he would be able to feel them, too, while he was inside you. “You’re gonna be so fuckin’ full, sis, stuffed to the brim just like you wanted.”
He pushed the toy in deeper until your hands clutched at the sofa beneath you, which was apparently his cue to guide his cock back into your drenched pussy. Just as he promised, you felt so full that you had no idea how to cope with it, your legs shaking as you tried not to collapse beneath him.
“Fuuuuuck,” he groaned, moving himself and the toy at alternating paces inside you as you mindlessly drooled onto the cushion, your overstimulated body barely able to handle the sensations he was forcing upon you. “You like being my little fucktoy, don’t you? You’re so pretty like this, so pretty being used just like you deserve.”
“Sammy, please,” you sobbed, barely intelligible as you couldn’t really string your thoughts together anymore.
“You want more, huh? Needy little slut,” he snarled, but the way he said it almost sounded like a compliment. It certainly made your heart swell as if it was. He fucked you faster, then, and pushed the vibrator as deep into your ass as it would go until you were sobbing and blubbering and basically just a complete mess beneath him. “Keep squeezin’ me so tight and I’m gonna come inside you, sweetheart,” he moaned.
Some part of your brain was still aware enough to know that that was not a good idea, but you didn’t even really think to tell him not to because you knew he would anyway. Finally, you had accepted that he was going to do whatever he wanted with you and your resistance only brought out his crueler side.
“Fuck, come again for me,” he demanded, “come on my cock while I come inside you— that’s it, cream on my fucking cock while I fill you up, slut.”
It was jarring, the way his words suddenly knocked you over the edge again as you cried out, fresh tears filling your eyes and joining the damp spot beneath your face on the couch. You felt both your holes clenching around the intrusions he had filled them with, your head going fuzzy and your limbs going numb from the intensity of your peak; waves of warmth washed over you as you slumped down a little bit, the distant sound of his praises just barely reaching your ringing ears.
His free hand held your hips tightly while the other kept pumping the vibrator into you, and even through all the overwhelming stimuli going on at the moment, you could feel his cock beginning to flex deep inside you. Each pump of his come painting the deepest parts of you coincided with a low moan from him, the sound so cruelly perfect and forcing your channel to clamp down on him, weakly, one last time.
“Fuck, baby…” he groaned as he caught his breath, turning off the vibrator before slowly pulling it out of you and tossing it aside. He kept his cock inside for longer, though, as he rubbed your ass and back gently. “You’re gonna be such a good little fucktoy for me, sis, I just know it.”
He let you drop when he pulled out of you, your spent body limp and leaking on the couch as he stared down at you.
“I think you need a shower, sweetheart,” he chuckled. “But first, you need to give me the password to your OnlyFans so I can help you delete it, okay baby? We don’t need anybody else looking at what’s mine.”
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Whats actually happened between you and taemaknae? I read about it on the tea blog and still confused
This is an insanely long story so I'm going to put it below the cut so for anyone interested in this absolute shit show, continue on.
Essentially, I posted these headers about a month ago:
It was a set of like 8 colours and it was the first time I had ever posted any headers or anything. The issue nic had with these, was the ripped paper bottom. Because apparently you can trademark that. I had asked a (now ex) “friend” of mine if she knew where I could find the ripped paper effect because I had seen the effect on the header of her network blog and I had been trying to find a similar thing for months and google images never gave me anything good. She ended up referring me to google images anyways and after like an hour of dedicated searching, I found this ripped paper effect and used it. This ex “friend” went on to tell another friend of mine that I had "asked where nicole gets her resources for her headers" and then screenshotted my dm as "proof", which still confuses me because I never mentioned nicole there lmao. I've seen the screenshot.
Tell me where I said nicole. It was literally just a question born from seeing the header they had on their network lmao. I feel it’s important to mention I didn’t know this person ran said network at that time, which is why i said “these people”.
This other friend then came to me and just said my headers "may be seen as similar to nic's” and said she noticed it on her own and never mentioned my other “friend” approaching her. I was confused because other than that ripped paper effect that I know many people on tumblr use, I saw no similarities. Nic's headers are usually more complex and more than just a coloured background with a little effect in it. I just wanted to make some simple headers for fun because I was bored. But, regardless, I messaged nic about it to make sure she didn't feel the same way. I told her a friend of mine was worried nic might think my headers are similar to her's and I assured her that if she found them similar I would take them down, no questions asked. Nic told me she was surprised this friend brought it up and told me that it was entirely up to me if I found the headers similar. She never once told me she felt they were the same, never mentioned anything about them, she insisted it was up to me to do as I pleased. So, since I genuinely found no similarities, I left them up.
About a week went by and things between nic and I were fine, or so I thought, based off the fact that she was interacting with my posts, sending me cute asks and replying to a lot of my comments and stuff being kind and whatnot. Then, I decided to post a small list of my creations and the series I had running at the time.
After that, all of a sudden I got an influx of rude hate anons:
To anyone I mentioned the anons to, they agreed with me, you cannot trademark circular icons. This anon also accused me saying “just the fact that you had an anxiety attack about it proves you copied them” Like no sweetie, it’s called three strangers walked into my house and I got anxious.
Despite me not seeing the issue, I messaged nic, assuming she wouldn't care about the icons (it wasn't like I was taking her exact work and copying and pasting them as my own) and that made her very upset. When she responded to me, she was incredibly heated and gave off the vibe she was waiting for me to message her about it.
She said things like "this has actually been bothering me for a while", "i expected you to be able to read between the lines and delete the headers", "i don't know who that anon was but clearly they recognize my style". For starters, she never told me that she was annoyed with me, she was being very kind to me publicly. And I have no idea how I was meant to “read between the lines” of what she said especially considering how kind she was to me the following days. I also never accused her of knowing this anon, she just insisted it wasn't her and she didn't know them right off the bat. She also insinuated that I copied my gifs from others as well, which ticked me off because I made my 100+ layer psd myself thank you very much. But I kept my cool, and I told her I had no idea she felt the way she did, and I told her I would delete the headers (which i did as the conversation was going on), and that I would stop posting my icons and bringing attention to them because no one ever paid it any mind before that point. And I asked her “please tell me straight up the next time you have an issue with me because I am generally pretty dumb with social cues”, I have my adhd to thank for that. And instead of replying, she just blocked me. And conveniently, the hate anons stopped dead right after we blocked each other and I haven't received any since.
Also, these are the kinds of icons I posted:
Looks pretty generic and idk, universal, right?
Then, as I've recently found out today, she was in an "anti-loverjimin" groupchat with at least 2 other bloggers.
Which explains why this all went and fell into place. I know who the two other bloggers are because of what happened two days later but I won't name them just yet, but these two people had been "friends" with me for several months. So, a day or two after nic blocked me, all of a sudden some good friends of mine were blocking me and not talking to me when I asked what was going on. I found out soon after it was because nicole and those two now ex “friends” of mine had taken old dms I sent them and were showing them to people. And I will go into detail about them but I won't name the people they are about for privacy reasons.
Before I move on, to clarify some lies nic has been spreading about me, I never once shit talked nicole to my friends. One of these ex friends also said I was trying to get people on my side. I would have reacted to this all very very differently if that were the case. I would be dragging everyone through the fucking dirt but I don't get off on drama or micromanaging what my mutuals do. My issues are with these people, if you're still friends with them that's your decision i could not care less. So, back to it, the only thing I said about nic was that she and I had a stupid small fight over icons and that she was spreading lies about me, based off of what nic said to jordan.
That exact message, or slight variations of it, was sent to anyone I interacted with because I didn't know if nic was going to stop at jordan or try and get to everyone I fucking knew lmao. Some of the people I messaged this to told ME nic had done this kind of thing before, that she has sent hate anons, launched hate campaigns, cancelled people, etc. Over stupid shit like icons lmao.
Here are some responses I received after I mentioned nicole:
And nic or one of her friends also took it upon themselves to send anons to that tea blog to blow shit up and named everyone and made it an even bigger mess when they saw no one was actively trying to fight me after the dms got out.
I also love that in this following ask, they named my two “friends” that were behind the whole dm drama and backstabbed me, as well as two other people I never badmouthed, that story was twisted. But we’ll get into those details shortly.
And she also told people I clout chased big blogs and only cared about notes. At one point, yes, I did care a lot about my statistics. However, never once did I think clout chasing was worth my fucking time or energy, Nic is the biggest clout chaser on this damn site and there are receipts of that, ask jordan lmao. And I couldn’t give two shits about my statistics anymore lmao, much less anxiety that way. Do I still crave validation sometimes? Sure. But it's not a driving force of my tumblr experience like it used to be.
But, moving on to the dms, the first one was sent when I first came back to tumblr full-time and didn't understand why people self reblogged things, I found the pretence of self reblogging annoying and greedy and I complained about it and it was a comment fuelled by two bloggers that i would see sr a lot on my dash. But I never thought THEY were annoying, as these people are saying I did, it was self reblogging I found annoying and as you can see I have come to understand why people sr and I do it myself too. I didn't even know these two bloggers at this time either. That dm was cropped to hide the fact that this "friend" agreed with me and hid the date as well so it seemed recent, and was sent to one of the bloggers I mentioned as an example, someone I had since become good friends with.
I didn’t befriend one of the people I mentioned there until mid to late June. That friendship is now over thanks to this drama and all the lies. The second friend of mine they went after was never spoken about in dms, they went and turned her against me through lies and manipulation so that friendship has ended too. And while those two were doing that, nic went off to try and turn jordan against me.
There was a particular user on here that I did say some nasty things about but we weren't friends, as many people have been made to believe. I was particularly mad at this person in those dms and was hurtful, I admit, and I have since apologized and owned up to all of it to these people. I did call them fake and/or two-faced.
And what in the gassing me up bullshit was their response though lmao. I also sent this following dm before I even talked about the issue with this person. They urged me to continue and to name drop the person, and I stupidly thought they were trustworthy.
My reasoning for what I said wasn't unwarranted though, I don't make a habit of going around shit-talking people, unless they do something to me first. I vent when I am upset and this person had sent me a passive aggressive ask and then denied sending it when I asked and I thought that was just very fake, especially since she was so kind to me in dms before the ask came in. But all of these dms were cropped too to hide timestamps and responses, and in most cases, like those screenshots prove, these "friends" either gassed me up or egged me on to continue ranting or to name the people i was mad at and they had agreed with me on several, several occasions. Turns out they were trying to get dirt on me to use in their cancel campaign. But the point is, nic has made me out to be this horrible person that befriends "big blogs" (an overrated statement) and then shit talks them behind their back without remorse. Yet it was one person I said rude things about and I, again, owned up to it all and apologized to them the first day. I would've done it sooner had I a) remembered feeling the way I did all those months ago or remembered the dms themselves or b) felt that way still after meeting them. But neither is the case.
I find it really amusing though that these people wanted things to be kept quiet and didn’t want anyone they spoke to to talk to me about it because I was going to “out them on my blog” and “make a big scene”, then they three went and made it a big fucking scene and ruined my friendships. I’m familiar with this pattern of manipulation as it has happened to me in real life before and it’s the most childish bullshit to witness.
Before this callout day for nic, I had never once been directly rude to or about her, same goes for those ex “friends” that betrayed my trust and friendship. The fact that they plotted against me in a group chat while still actively talking to me and being all buddy buddy is just disgusting. Both of them were talking to me that day at the same time they were sharing the dms and shit-talking me to my friends. But yeah, that's my side, the untwisted side, of the whole story. I tried to be mature and talk to nic and when I didn't do what she wanted me to do, she blocked me and launched the hate campaign with dms and the power of photoshop. I’ve been hesitant to make any of this public because it was meant to be a silent ordeal but I’ve grown tired of her constantly publicizing everything without consequence while I remain silent like I promised.
#anon#replied💌#tw:negativity#drama#long post#read at your own risk aha#its a shit show#idc if you rb it#pinning temporarily for the next day(sih)#ish*#edited with screenshots and whatnot that i forgot i had on my phone lmao
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(pls take the time to read)
Signs I should have known I was aro: Disney edition
I think this topic has been stressed a lot already. But here is my take, anyway.
Of course, romantic love had been, is and will always be one of the main themes in kids' movies. Why, I can never fully understand. I'll explain below how I like other themes more.
Some time ago, I did a post on the kiss/hug scenes in Rapunzel which depicts how much more I value acts of showing love that don't include kissing.
Not only those two. I have a history of hating Disney on-screen smooches. As a kid, I thought, "Well, maybe, I don't like seeing these characters kiss because it's a grownup thing."
Could you blame me? When my parents were in the room and a kissing scene appeared on the screen, they changed the channel. So my toddler brain concluded that the reason I didn't like watching kisses was because I wasn't of age to like it. Or something.
At the time, I had no idea that I was hand-picking my favorite movies by the level of romance they had in. Or lack thereof. And I was a very judgemental kid. Let's go through my original thoughts on some Disney classics.
Snow White — No. Just no. She's a child, fourteen. Marrying an older guy she doesn't even know. After he kisses her corpse. NO.
Cinderella — The age difference is a little better, I guess. So is the age of consent. But they only talked one (1) night and he relied on that slipper to find her instead of asking to meet all women and see for himself. Fairytale logic I guess. I didn't like how she called it love immediately and kissed the prince at least once that same night. Or how they got married immediately.
The Sleeping Beauty — Must I even explain? Aurora didn't even know Philip that much, had only met him once (if you exclude the "dreams"). And yet, he's her true love, the only one who can revive her corpse. Ridiculous. And yes, kissing a comatose body, ew. Also, the arranged marriage trope pisses me off, royalty or not. Aurora was engaged as a newborn baby, come on.
Mulan — Cinematic gold. I didn't know it back then, but the fact that romantic love is such a pushed-aside aspect in this movie gives me life. The songs give me life. Especially when the trio dresses as concubines and "Be a Man" plays in the background. An absolute gem, lmao. The sequel however ruined the story somewhat for me, too much lovey-dovey stuff. I like Mulan more when she's fighting than when she's acting all sappy towards Shang, sorry not sorry.
Peter Pan — Loved it, still do. But I did dislike the mermaids, the image of fangirls who are petty towards other girls. And Pan's brief "relationship" with Tiger Lily was nauseating to me. I couldn't explain it but when Pan blushed at her nose-nuzzling thing, I always pulled a face.
The Princess and the Frog — In my opinion, (remember, always my opinion): Tiana, this hard-working girl who doesn't belong to anyone, was lost to love. Well, not lost. But falling for Naveen in the course of three days? Unrealistic and kinda unnecessary. Sweet, but still. I adored the "relationship" between Ray and Evangeline more. Either way, it's a movie that I enjoyed when love wasn't that prominent on screen.
Aladdin — I love this movie because of the Genie. The relationship between Jasmine and Aladdin is meh. She forgot his face and didn't recognize him until later. Their coming together is a lot like that trope "first guy who treats her right sets the expectations and wins her heart". Usually that's a thing, not only in Disney movies but media in general. The female lead settles for the first guy that treats her right because the bar is that low. A good movie, all in all. Love how Jasmine stands up for herself at least. Not a lot of princesses fight against the objectification of women.
Pocahontas — I used to hate this movie. I didn't sit right with me: the racism in it, the manipulation, the murders. And the romance, yes. Pocahontas fell for the strange man who tickled her curiosity in the span of two days. I also hated how her father just sold her to marry Kocoum like that. I know it's tradition. Heck, that's a tradition that still goes on in my country. Maybe that's why I didn't like seeing it on screen. And Pocahontas doesn't even end up with John Smith. The second movie definitely ruined the story. So yes, she's the first princess who fell for a man in three days, TWICE. Needless to say, only the songs kept me from blacklisting the movie entirely.
The Little Mermaid — I actually loved this movie for some reason. I can't explain why, maybe it was my obsession with mermaids. Yeah, that was probably it. But I was pissed when Ariel exchanged her tail for legs. Not to mention human periods and overall, all the bad in the world, for a man she'd only seen once. As I grew up I realized just how f*cked up that story was: Ariel giving her entire lifestyle, family and identity up for a guy she hadn't even spoken to. I don't know why I loved that movie, alright? Hell I still do a little. The sequel too. Say what you want.
Brave — (I know this is technically Pixar, shut up) Much like the paradox with Ariel, I didn't like this movie. I can't explain it. Maybe because Merida wasn't the typical Disney princess I had been used to seeing. Now though, I ADORE that story. No, it's not because Merida knows archery... Okay, yes maybe a little. I love the aro-arrow word play, alright? Anyway, the way Merida fights against being shipped to a husband like the "tradition" I aforementioned asks her to, has always had my heart, even when I didn't like the movie. The focus on the mother-daughter relationship is special, I love it. Stellar movie.
Tangled — One of my favorite Disney movies, my favorite princess. But her relationship with Eugene.... Well. Again, three days. That's all it takes to fall in love. Classic of Disney. Not only that, but Eugene is literally the first man person Raps has ever since, besides Gothel. The bar is nonexistent for her, she would have fallen for anyone. He lied to her and she still... Well, I won't stress that any longer. Their relationship in the end is sweet, one of the few cases where we are actually shown that they would risk their lives to save each other. Respect that. Mostly, I love her magical hair and Pascal. And the guys of Snuggly Duckling.
Moana — EPIC MOVIE. The story, the culture, the character growth, the plot twist, everything! Loved it at first sight, at second and forever. Even more when I became aware that there's no romance in it. I don't think I need to say more.
Frozen — My opinions on this movie have always been changing, accompanied by mixed feelings. So the relationship between sisters was cute, but Lilo and Stitch made that more realistic. Anna's relationship with Hans, ugh. I think that for a long time I used the fact that he was the antagonist to justify my absolute hate for the way Anna "fell" for him in one evening. Again, Anna sweetheart. This is the first man you've met. The bar is nonexistent for you too. God bless Elsa for forbidding her to marry Hans. And while it's cute to think Elsa as a lesbian, she has aromantic vibes. Sorry not sorry, but she's also a God by the end of Frozen 2. Gods are beyond attraction, I said what I said.
Raya and the Last Dragon — Loved it, still do. Say what you will about "dragon Elsa". Sisu is her own character, and I adore her. And yes, I love the lack of romance in the movie. Make no mistake, I shipped Raya and Namaari from the first moment they smiled at each other. I swear on my name that I paused the movie and screamed, GAYYYY, at the top of my lungs. Luckily, I was home alone. If only Disney directors would do the right fcking thing and give me a queer main couple!! I swear I wouldn't mind the lovey-dovey romance one bit.
Of course, I've left dozens of movies out. This post is already way longer than I wanted it to be. But I think that was enough to make a point.
While I'm not romance-repulsed, seeing animated kisses (and unnecessary relationships) on screen makes me uncomfortable. As a child and as a grownup. It just doesn't sit right with me. Not to mention all these princesses who identify with their princes and specifically their relationships with said princes when they're perfect on their. Wreck it Ralph 2 made them a favor, I think, by making them work together and showing their strengths. Another movie I love.
Friendship just makes an overall better theme to apply to kids shows, my opinion. Family, work, self-discovery, mental health, happiness. These are all better themes to portray in media dedicated for children. Which is, again, my opinion.
And yes, Disney has been getting better. They've fixed the age difference and the age of consent. The female characters no longer depend on the male ones, at least not as often. They understand the assignment, alright. There are still many questionable things about Disney's reputation though, things we all choose to overlook for the sake of the good movies. But who knows? They might change. Hopefully soon we'll also have an obviously queer couple in a movie. Hope dies last.
#aro#aromantic#aro pride#aromantic pride#aro post#aro things#aro problems#aromantic spectrum#aroace#aromanticism#it's tough to be a god#pls tell me i'm not the only one#disney#disney romance#romance averse#alloaro#aro culture is#aro culture#actually aro#actually aromantic#arospec#aro positivity#my reactions to romance in animation should've been an indicator to me not being all that allo#but there's a reason why these posts exist#me being blind to facts that is#aro struggles#aro people are valid#aro jokes#queer#queer pride
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Did You Order a Pizza?
Halloween 2020 is filled with lots of surprises for the Styles family
A/N: Hi lovelies! I hope you had. great Halloween and you're feeling alright these days! This is a one shot following the family from my pic Another World, which you can find here! I hope you enjoy it and I cannot wait to hear all your thoughts!! I love y'all!
Word Count: 7.6k
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“And you’re sure he’s back?”
“You heard him on the phone. He’ll be waiting for Jeff so you’ve got plenty of time while he waits for the man to not show up.” Glenne smiled at you from her spot in the driver’s seat. “Although, I think he’ll like who does show up instead.”
Harry had left for Los Angeles so that he could begin filming a new Olivia Wilde film, leaving you and Bella in London. And as much as you’d have loved to join him on such a monumental step in his career from the start, you were unable to travel with him. Not only were you unable because your daughter was still in school at the time, but because of the pandemic that was still going on throughout the world. It prevented for most of the year’s plans to take place, which absolutely crushed Harry. He was looking forward to Love on Tour and showing his fans how much fun this new era was for him, more than you’d seen from him in a long time, but he would always put the safety of his fans before entertainment, so it was an easy choice to postpone. However, no tour meant that he could gladly accept a leading role in a film alongside some of the most well known actors in the industry.
But it only took you a few days after his departure to find out you couldn’t be so far from him. As fate would have it, Bella’s class was turning into online learning once the half term break ended, which meant one of the most important reasons you were still in London had vanished. So, after spending two weeks quarantining and making sure you took all the necessary precautions, both you and Bella got tested and flew to the states with your negative results. From the start, you had told Jeff of your plan and he and Glenne gladly welcomed you into their home once you arrived, wanting to spend time with Bella for a few days after going so long not seeing the toddler. And finally, once you got the negative results of yet another test, you and your daughter were off to stay with Harry.
Jeff had spoken with your boyfriend over FaceTime earlier that morning, feeding Harry some story about needing to solidify some merch designs, and making sure that Harry would be patiently waiting for his manager after he finished filming for the day. But the plan was to have Glenn drive Jeff’s car so he suspected nothing seeing it pull up, and surprise him when it was you and Bella getting out the car instead of the oldest Azoff son.
“I can’t wait.” you groaned out through the grin taking over your face. You bounced in your seat slightly, pressing both hands to your cheeks just thinking about seeing his shocked face when he opened the door expecting Jeff, but seeing you and Bella instead.
“What?” The question was brought up after a soft chuckle was heard from Glenne’s side of the car as soon as you were halted at a stoplight.
“Nothing. It’s just cute how excited you are to see him after being apart for what, a month?”
“27 days.” you whispered, urging yourself to force down a smile. “But who’s counting?”
“You guys have been together nearly a decade, and you still get all flustered when you talk about him.”
The way you and Harry acted around one another was something that was always commented on by people in your inner circle, for that exact reason. Without a doubt, your relationship had gone through some of the toughest times, but that was bound to happen when you’ve been with someone since you were sixteen… and even more likely when every moment of your life was documented to the public. But those tough times never seemed to last, because at the end of the day, Harry was everything you ever wanted and vise versa. He was what you daydreamed about in a partner while growing up. And being with him was like being with the sun. He made you feel loved and cared for, you had more fun with him than anyone else on the planet, and every single day with him felt like a new adventure. As a kid, you’d thought the way people described the love of their life was corny, nothing but a thing of fairy tales, yet that feeling that bloomed inside your chest and tummy every time you thought about Harry told you that it was very real.
“Dunno.” you shrugged, “He’s my person. Even seven and half years later, he still makes me feel like he did on our first date.”
“That what’s got you looking extra glowy or is that just another secret to staying in the honeymoon phase forever?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” you replied quickly, finding it hard to keep the giddy feeling that was now bubbling in your lower stomach under control when you turned your head to meet her gaze. She was squinting at you with suspicious eyes, her lips pursed as she bit the inside of her cheek, which forced a laugh to fall from you. “What? I don’t! Just miss him, that’s all. Isn’t that right baby? We just missed daddy loads, huh?” making sure to quickly take the attention away from yourself, you turned as much as you could in your seat to look at Bella in the back.
“Yes! I miss daddy so much!” her little legs kicked against the carseat and her arms lifted high above her head, a huge smile plastered on her face. “I have so many drawings and stickers to show him and Mr. Jeff got new socks!”
“I know, we got them all tucked away nice and safe so you can show him. Do you remember what the plan is when we get there?” you asked her, your breath getting caught in your throat for a moment when the sun shined just right through the rear window. It was a perfect day in LA, sunny and warm and just as the car pulled onto the street you knew was where Harry was staying, the sunlight danced across Bella’s perfect complexion. She was a spitting image of her father, down to the freckles dotting her face, the deep set dimples that never seemed to disappear, and the curls constantly falling in front of her face no matter how hard you tried to keep them tamed. Every now and again you caught a glimpse, sometimes through the kitchen window while she was playing in the backyard and other times while her eyelashes fluttered against her cheeks as she slept on your chest, of just how breathtaking Bella is. What angelic beauty the love between you and Harry had managed to create.
“Yeah mumma!” she smiled, giving you two thumbs up, very clearly excited about getting to see her dad again. “You ‘member my costume, right mumma?”
“Of course I did. Put it in the bag right next to mine.”
“Good. ‘Cause ‘m really ‘cited about it.”
“I know baby. It’s a good one, isn’t it?” you knew Harry would get a kick out of what Bella decided to be for Halloween. She had come to you months ago, actually sat you down in the kitchen and explained what she wanted to do like she was in a little business meeting. And of course as soon as she told you, you had to laugh because it was perfect.
“Yeah.”
Her whisper was the last thing said within the confines of the car before the three of you pulled up in front of a beautiful white house nestled deep in the Hollywood Hills. It was much smaller than the house the pair of you had just sold just blocks away, but everything about it was so much homier. A brick walkway sandwiched between a line of shrubbery and a white stone wall led up to the house, which itself was an odd shape. The very front of the house came up to an asymmetrical point instead of a typical flat roof, and the rest of the house was pushed back slightly, so that none of the face was level, and the house almost seemed cut in half horizontally from the distinct line between white stone bottom and black paneling on the upper level of the home. Finally, a brick downhill driveway, made of the same brick as the walkway, led to an all black garage that sat just below the rest of the home. The small details is what made the building give off such a cozy vibe; a vibrant green front door, plant boxes hanging off a few of the upper windows, a black wooden archway and lanterns surrounding the front door, a few potted plants on the side of the walkway, and the faint golden hues peaking through the closed blinds.
“Cute, huh?” Glenne laughed, putting the car in park and turning fully in her seat to look at you.
“Yeah, it actually really is. Reminds me a bit of our old place.”
“Place in London, right? That’s what I told Jeff.” she said at the same time, looking behind her at Bella while you got out of the car. “You ready to go, tulip?”
“Yes please!”
Her hands were already fumbling with the seat belt by the time you opened her door, the excitement itching at her in preparation for what was to come, but she graciously waited for you to sort her out.
“Thank you mumma.” she muttered casually once you had her unbuckled and lifted into your arms.
“You’re welcome, baby.” the way Bella was the most polite little girl you had ever known never failed to make your heart soar. You and Harry were so proud of the person she was becoming, whether she was that way because she saw how everyone in her life acted or because she was born with the kindest little soul, it didn’t matter. She always made sure the people around her were happy and having fun, constantly reminding people how much she loves them, and trying her hardest to make everyone laugh. It was yet another way she reminded you of Harry; they both could instantly light up a room without even trying. “Just gotta ring the bell, right? Say your line?”
“You got it, mumma!” she smiled brightly, leaning in to give you a quick kiss.
Nearly the instant you put her down, she darted up the brick steps, taking a full pause at each step to be her funny self and jump, with both feet together, up to the next one. As she made her way towards the front door, you took your place leaning against the passenger door of Glenne’s car, nearly doubling over in laughter watching Bella look hysterical lifting up on her very tiptoes in order to reach the unusually high doorbell.
Your breath caught in your throat as you waited for Harry to open the front door. For a minute, you were sure that he had ignored Jeff’s instructions to stay home, but to your relief, the green door finally opened, revealing a very comfortable looking Harry. He was very obviously post shower, his hair visibly wet and sparkling when the porch lights lit up his form, clad in a pair of black basketball shorts and one of his grey Treat People With Kindness hoodies, and nothing else but a tall pair of Nike socks. It was like a scene from a movie, because when he didn’t immediately see Jeff in front of him, Harry looked over towards the driveway quickly like he was being pranked. But within a second, his attention was brought down to Bella, who tugged on the hem of his shorts, her sweet voice barely audible from the distance.
“Did you get a pizza?”
It was comical to watch him just stare at her like she had three heads. You couldn’t blame him, last he knew, both you and Bella were five thousand miles away, so it made sense that his brain was not comprehending the scene in front of him.
“He’s so confused.” Glenne giggled behind you, but her voice seemed like it was muted with how fully your focus was on your boyfriend.
“Hmm.”
Not even a second after your hum of agreement, and as if it was in slow motion, you watched as realization glossed over his features, his green eyes widening and mouth hanging open, and he sank to his knees. It didn’t take him even a second to pull Bella into his chest, winding his arms completely around her tiny frame and cradling her head in his surprisingly ring free hands.
Seeing the two of them together was like looking at two halves of the same soul reconnect. The moment they were in one another’s arms, it was like everything got brighter. Their smiles widened, chuckles more audible - even from such a far distance, and the warmth that typically lived in your chest recently, burned even warmer. You always knew Harry was meant to be a dad, just from how much he talked about it. You knew that he would do his very best to go above and beyond for his child, to make sure they felt loved and secure and treasured. But hearing about it and seeing it are completely different. Seeing nothing but total adoration on his face whenever he looked at your daughter made you fall in love with him all over again.
“Mumma!” Bella’s shouted, snapping you out of the daze you had slipped into while watching the moment before you. Both Harry and Bella were now looking at you from the doorway, her head resting on her father’s shoulder as he held her in one arm, their faces totally engulfed with smiles. “C’mere Mumma!”
“Yeah mumma.” Harry finally spoke up, his voice carrying down the pathway right to where you were standing.”C’mere.” Just seeing him standing there, smiling so brightly and holding his free arm out telling you he was waiting for a hug, was enough to make you break out in a smile and push off the car, dashing up the steps.
His chest was firm when you crashed into it, much firmer than when you hugged him goodbye in the airport a few weeks ago, and you felt as if you head placement on his chest was different - like he’d grown since you last saw him. Or maybe he hadn’t changed at all but your mind was finally coming out of a month long fog that it slipped in without him, getting readjusted to being in his arms.
“Hi sweetheart.” he whispered in your ear, peppering kisses all along your hairline and temple like he physically couldn’t leave an inch of the side of your face untouched.
“Hi baby.”
“What’re you doing here?” he asked, pure wonder in his tone as he nudged the side of your face with his chin, making you lift your head from his chest and look at him. “I just talked to you this morning, said you were going to see your parents before everything got locked down again.”
“Yeah, well. I lied.” you smiled, leaning in to press kiss after kiss to his lips, trying your best to control the insane happiness rushing through your veins. Your response seemed to be enough for him, because he didn’t ask another question wondering why you were in LA. Which was good for you because your plan wasn’t to explain everything on the front porch.
The three of you stayed frozen in that same position, Harry’s arm so tight around you that your face was completely buried in his hoodie, and the other arm holding Bella, forming a makeshift group hug, not bothering to worry about anyone seeing you or anything going on past the wooden archway. Because nothing else mattered. Not when you were with the two people who made your world spin.
“Daddy.” Bella’s timid voice finally broke you apart, both you and Harry leaning back a bit so that you could put your full attention on the little girl in his arms.
“Yes lovie?”
“I lied too.”
“What did you lie about?”
She lifted her head from his shoulder in order to look at him with a very concerned expression, like she felt deeply sorry for whatever she was about to say to him. “I don’t have a pizza. ‘M sorry. Mumma told me it was funny.”
“Oh did she now?” Harry mocked in offence, looking back at you and raising his eyebrows.
“Mhm. But it wasn’t, ‘cause we don’t have any.”
“That’s right. But sometimes it’s okay to say something silly like that and not feel bad as long as it’s not something to hurt anyone, right? And daddy isn’t mad. How about you mumma?” Harry looked to you, trying not to smile at how adorable Bella was about the little fib. You shook your head.
“Not at all.”
“And what about you, B.B? Are you sad you told daddy there was pizza?”
She contemplated it for a bit, scrunching her nose up - again, just like her father - and looking around like the answer would be hanging in the air somewhere. “Yeah.” she said matter of factly. “But ‘cause I want pizza. And we don’t have any.”
Both you and Harry couldn’t help the laughs that fell from your lips, wasting no time before leaning forward to press a kiss to Bella’s forehead. “How about we get some then?” he asked against her skin, glancing at you when saying his next bit. “We’ll get your bags from the car and order one?”
“Oh god!” you yelled, turning around to face the car from which you’d just ran from. “Completely forgot Glenne was sitting in there! She’s probably been texting Jeff about how annoying we are.”
“Annoyingly adorable, yeah.”
“Think she’d fight you on that one. Nearly made her sick on the drive here with how excited I was to see you.” your laugh was muffled as Harry wrapped his arm back around your neck, dragging you in a headlock down the first step towards the car. Bella, knowing that it was time to bring in the bags, wiggled out of Harry’s grasp and sprinted down the steps ahead of you, right into the arms of a now out and about Glenne.
“Everything’s alright?” Harry’s voice was laced with concern now that your little one was out of ear shot. You both tried your hardest to never have any sort of talk about negative things around her, whether that be an argument or things going on in life, because she should never have to be put through the stress of that. Most of the time you just waited until she was asleep to talk about those things, but sometimes it meant going into different rooms and closing the doors.
“Hmm?”
“Everything’s alright, right? You didn’t come all the way out here because something’s wrong, did you?” quickly forgotten was your position in a headlock, and instead, Harry kept his arm around your neck, your body fitting perfectly tucked into his side. You walked step by step to meet your friend and daughter, who already started pulling suitcases out of the boot.
You took a peek up to him, noticing he was already glancing down at you, his eyes roaming all over your face to look for any sign of distress that he may have missed when he first saw you. But you had none to offer him. “Yeah baby, everything’s okay. Just needed to be with you.”
“Swear? You’d tell me if there was something?”
“Of course I would. Always.”
“Alright, professor. But if I find out you were hiding something, I’ll have to write a diss track.”
“Oh will you now?”
“Mhm. Thems the rules.”
Glenne spent a bit of time with the three of you before heading off, telling you to enjoy your time together and even throwing in a little joke about maybe even making a new baby since she missed how little Bella used to be. The comment made your ears warm and a weird feeling flutter through your stomach, but she gave you no time to respond before she shuffled out the door.
Since arriving at Harry’s, Bella practically refused to leave his arms, wanting to be as close to him as possible until she really realized that no one was going anywhere for quite a bit. And her thoughts must have quieted enough because not even twenty minutes after Glenne walked out the front door, Bella was running through the house towards one of the extra rooms she’d be sleeping in.
“Mumma! Come help me! We gotta show daddy!” her already soft voice was even soft as she yelled from the second floor, her request forcing you to get up from the sofa.
“What are we showing me?”
“She’s really proud of her Halloween costume this year. Spent weeks planning it out, you know?”
“I know. She wouldn’t budge anytime I asked her. Very secretive that one.”
“Hmm, wonder where she gets that from?” you sang while walking up the stairs, letting out a snort when you saw him lift a middle finger to you from his position still on the sofa, not even bothering to turn around to look at you as you continued towards your daughter.
“Alright baby, I’m here! Where do you want me?” you clapped, entering Bella’s room in a way that mimicked that of Harry Lambert, something that you knew she’d recognize right away from the amount of times she’s seen her parents being helped by the stylist.
“Over here, mumma. Gotta help me button!” she had already rid herself of the clothes she’d been wearing on the drive to Harry’s, the green long sleeve shirt and jeans laid in a crumpled mess at the foot of the bed while she stood in just her knickers, searching through the small suitcase on her bed for all the pieces to her costume.
You took a seat on the floor next to where she was standing, watching her every move as she finally found everything she was looking for. Her tongue stuck out while she took the fabric between her fingers and gently held it in her hands - taking a moment to look at it in awe - before turning and holding it out to you, expectantly.
“Gotta be careful with it, mumma.”
“Oh I know. They’re really delicate, aren’t they?”
“Mhm. Reedy told me to be gentle with ‘em ‘cause they were made with extra love so they’re extra soft.”
“Oh that’s perfect! They’ll be on for quite a while so it’s good that it’s all comfortable.”
“Yep.”
You look notice of how long her hair had grown while zipping up the back of her shirt, the curls continuously falling against your fingers despite being held over her shoulder by Bella. You knew well enough even before she was born that she was going to have gorgeous hair, all it took was one look at the locks cascading from her father to tell you that, but it seemed to grow even more mesmerizing by the day. It fell loose past her shoulders every day, always managing to fall in front of her eyes while she was sprawled out on the floor playing. Even though you did enjoy how cute she looked pushing the crazy curls out of her face while her little tongue stuck out, you knew it was time for a trim soon.
“Are you wanting a haircut soon?” you asked while zipping her pants as well.
“Hmm, I don’t think so. I like it long.”
“How about we see if we can get rid of some of these dry bits at least?”
Bella thought about it for a bit, picking at her nails while mulling over the idea of going back to the salon. “Yeah, I think that’s fine.”
“Alright, we’ll see about making an appointment when we get back home. Gives you some time to think it over.”
“Okay! Y’almost done mumma? ‘M excited.” she bounced in place, trying her best not to move so that you could finish getting her ready as fast as possible.
“All set!” you checked, reaching up to grab her hair out of her grasp and let it fall down her back. “Just put the jacket on and you’re all set to show daddy.”
“He’s gonna be so happy I know it!” she squealed, carefully picking up and putting on the final part to her costume and turning to look in the floor length mirror. Bella didn’t say anything for a minute, taking the time to examine herself in the mirror. She smoothed the fabric covering her torso, lifted her feet in order to see the little pair of boots, and had one of the largest smiles you’d ever seen on her. “I look so good!”
“You do, lovie! Award winning I’d say.”
“Thank you for helping! Lets go!!” she yelled, darting towards the door and only stopping at the top of the stairs when you called for her, reminding her to be careful by the steps. The two of you quickly discussed your plan before departing ways, leaving Bella a bouncing mess just above you as you walked down to the light switch at the bottom of the steps.
Flicking all the lights off, you cleared your throat and waited for Harry, who had gotten up off the sofa upon hearing your descending footsteps and was now leaning against the back of the furniture, his bum resting just on top of the back, to give you his full attention. Although the lights were off, it was still early enough in the evening that light showed through the windows, allowing you to see his face and make sure Bella got down the stairs safely.
“You all know him as 2013’s Teen Choice Male Hottie -”
“Also 2016.” Harry cut in, trying and failing to stifle his chuckle
“Also 2016’s” you added, “and lead roles in Award Winning pictures such as This Is Us and iCarly.” at this point, it was obvious what was happening and you could tell Harry was fully on board with what was about to walk down the stairs. But he was also so excited. He no longer was leaning against the sofa, but now standing upright and his hands were pressed together in a praying position in front of his mouth. “Introducing, the incredibly talented, musically gifted, style icon of the decade, Mr. Harry Edward Styles!”
The second you saw that Bella made it safely to the ground next to you, you flicked on the dim lights that just illuminated the staircase, showering your daughter in the closest thing you could get to a spotlight. She was standing in Harry’s signature position; bent forward slightly with one hand held in a peace sign while the other dangled loosely by her side and mouth open wide. Harris Reed had taken the time to make Bella a nearly exact replica of the white and black floral suit Harry had worn to the 2015 AMA’s - the suit that really started it all when it came to Styles’ fashion. Her curls were hanging past her shoulders just like Harry’s were at the time, and for good measure, she even lifted her hand to push some out of her face exactly like he used to.
She was a spitting image of Harry. And he loved it.
“Oh my god! You’re kidding! You look fantastic! Gonna put me out of a job! I won’t even need to go on stage anymore. This is amazing!” he screeched, rushing forwards and couching down in front of his daughter. He took in every last detail of the outfit; how the under shirt had buttons but did not open from the front (something Harris thought would be easier for Bella to get in and out of), how the floral detail was exactly the same as the one he had hanging in his closet back home (Reed had asked Alessandro for the fabric), and how even the shoes were a near replica.
“Mhm. I can sing next time. I’ll go up and sing to your friends and you can sit and watch and talk to Mitchy.” she nodded, taking a step back and belting out ‘You’re so Golden!’ “See? Like that!”
Harry beamed. “Absolutely! Give me a nice break every now and again, very thoughtful. We’ll just have to change your bedtime and it’s all set!”
“You like it, daddy?” she asked, her eyes wide as she moved right in front of Harry, her hands grasping the hood of his hoodie and she looked directly into his eyes.
“I love it - and you - more than there are stars in the sky!” Harry responded without hesitation, grabbing her and lifting her into his arms, swinging Bella around quickly enough to let a few giggles. “Thank you very much, beautiful, it makes me very happy.”
“Can’t believe you wanted to be your smelly old dad.” he joked when she pushed against his chest to look at him, “See me everyday, why’d you wanna dress up like me too?
“‘Cause you dress the best, daddy!”
“Ohhhh hear that, love?” he turned to look directly at you, Bella now hiding her face in her hands in embarrassment on saying her dad dressed better than her mum. “I’m the best dressed.” Harry stuck his tongue out at you.
The reaction from Harry was everything Bella was expecting and more. So much so that she could no longer fight the exhaustion of the hectic day any longer. She barely made it five minutes in Harry’s arms before finally passing out. In the coming December, she’d be turning five and you were trying to start and wean her off of taking long naps, but after such an energetic day you welcomed the time for her to rest. She put up a fight getting out of Harry’s arms, the arm she had shoved into Harry’s hood in order to thread her fingers through the short hair at the nape of his neck, tightened each time he tried to pull her away to lay her in bed. Like even in her unconscious state she wanted to know that seeing Harry again wasn’t a figment of her imagination.
It was heavenly to be back with Harry. Even though you had only been apart for such a short amount of time, there was so much to catch up on, and you would never get tired of hearing about everything going on in his life.
“And they used this stuff called Dermacol, and I swear, she swiped over it once and the anchor was gone. Bloody insane seeing it all bare. Hasn’t been that year in years.” Harry laughed, finishing his story of how his first few days on set had gone, the two of you laying in his bed while you waited for the pizza you ordered while he put Bella down for a nap.
“Don’t wash it off tomorrow. I want to see.” you tilted your head back so that it was resting on Harry’s shoulder, in order to look at him. He was sitting behind you, his back pressed against the headboard while you were nestled between his legs, enjoying the feeling of being so close to him again. “Forget what you look like without any ink.”
“Like them though, right?”
“Of course I do. Think they’re very hot.”
He didn’t say anything for a bit, just let his fingers dance up and down your arms, clearly lost in thought. “I wish you could come to set. See everything and everyone.” he finally spoke.
“I know. I just don’t want to chance anything you know? We just traveled and I know we got tested, but I don’t want to unknowingly bring anything to anyone. Maybe soon, once we’ve been here for a bit. But for now, I’d rather just hear all your stories and FaceTime than anything happen to anyone.”
“What time is your call time tomorrow?” you added when he only hummed in response.
“6:45. Car will probably come by around 6 and I should be back near 2. Have a bit of a short day tomorrow.”
“No rush.”
“Yes rush. I wanna be with you both. Missed you loads, ya know? Only gone for a few weeks but I was going mad. Don’t think we should separate for a while.” his voice was soft as his neck strained forward in order to press loving kisses to the soft skin where your neck met your shoulder.
Since the moment you met Harry a decade ago, it was obvious he always knew what to say. He had a knack for spewing out the words you most needed to hear exactly when you needed to hear them. Whether it was comforting your stage fright, in an argument about tv or film characters, helping you pick out outfits, discussing your relationship, or talking about the future, you both seemed to be on the same wavelength. It made life with him so much easier, because you knew that he understood you. You knew that no matter what happened, he would support you and love you. And that’s all you needed.
So you decided finally, after the pit of anxiety in your stomach grew and grew all day, that it was finally time.
“Pretty good you feel that way. ‘Cause I wasn’t exactly sure how to tell you that you’re kind of stuck with me. At least for another fourteen years.”
“Hmm. Want more than that.”
Taking a deep breath, hands shaking and mind running a mile a minute, you asked; “How about another eighteen after that?”
But your nerves were all for nothing because the comment flew right over Harry’s head. Completely missed the point of why you used that specific amount of time and was more focused on giving your middle a tight squeeze - his arms moving from their place at your side to around your stomach.
“Mhm. Even longer than that.”
The words brought an image to mind, one you found yourself thinking about a lot the last couple weeks. One of you and Harry sitting in the living room in your home, talking to your grown children while your grandchildren ran around you happily, doing their best to animatedly explain ways of the world you just couldn’t comprehend. And the pure glee you felt being surrounded by such a beautiful family, one that you created with Harry. But you knew it wasn’t just some fantasy you would dream about. It was something that you would one day get to experience, and that excitement pushed you over the edge.
“You’re stuck with me forever, baby.” you hummed, sinking further into his hold. “But for five seconds, I need you to leave me so you can grab me a Tums.” the anxiety nerves reared their head yet again, knowing there was no missing the punchline this time.
Concern instantly flooded his voice, taking you by the shoulders and moving you away from his chest and to the right so he could look at your face. “Why? You feeling alright? What’s wrong?”
You couldn’t help but simple sweetly at his concern, lifting a hand to rest it on his smoothly clean shaven cheek. “Yeah. You know how I get after flying. Do you mind just grabbing the Tums from my bag?” you asked again, hoping he couldn’t hear or feel the uptick in your breathing.
“You mean one of the nine hundred bags you brought?” Harry joked but still carefully slid out from behind you in order to get whatever you needed.
“Hey, we’re gonna be here a while. I need options.” Because of Covid, the UK was heading into yet another lockdown at the start of November, lasting until the first week of December so for now, so for now, you knew you and Bella would be spending at least a month with Harry in Los Angeles.
“Can take any of my clothes.” he grinned, turning around to face the bed again and bent down to kiss the tip of your nose. “Y’know I love when you wear my clothes.”
“Oi! Say that again but let me record it! If that’s the case, I never want to hear you complain about missing clothes ever again!”
“I said I like you wearing them, not keeping them hidden away for me to find three years later.” he laughed at the memory of his favorite blue hawaiian shirt going missing after getting back from Jamaica, only for it to be found in the back of your closet when moving a few months ago. His voice got quieter the farther he walked from the bed, the confines of the walk in closet filled with his clothes muffling the words towards the end of his sentence.
“Alright, but remember how excited you were to find it after so long? Like Christmas in the summer!”
“‘S’that what’s gonna start happening? You just stealing things I haven’t looked at in years and regifting them?”
“Lord knows you don’t need any more things laying around. Probably wouldn’t even notice anything being gone.” it was true. Over the years, Harry had gathered a very large collection of… things. Everything from clothes to lockets to key cards from hotels, and being in the career he is, he can afford to have it all. But even you had to say he had more than he knew what to do with most of the time, to which he always had some sort of rebuttal for.
But this time, it never came.
This time, you were met with silence from inside the closet, and you had no control over the way your hands began shaking. There were so many different kinds of silence; one of anger, of shock, nervousness, confusion, but any of those were a rarity when it came to Harry. He was someone who always had something to say, despite the emotions running through him. Silence was never really his thing, hell he even said so in a song, so the ideas of what could be running through his head started to eat you alive.
After waiting a few minutes and still receiving no sound of life from the smaller room, you began to get worried. Obviously nothing had happened to him while you were sitting feet away, but what was happening in there? Did he have a heart attack as soon as saw what you had laid out on top of your suitcase when he was ordering food? Did he fall and hit his head? Was he trying to find a good way to break up with you? No, he wouldn’t do that, you knew he wouldn’t do that. But before you could fully get off of the bed to check on him, he slowly sauntered out of the room, staring down at the piece of black fabric gripped tightly in his hands, and you halted in your spot - sitting up right on the side of his bed with your feet dangling off the side.
“Wha - what is this?” his whisper was so unbelievably low, you were surprised you could make out any of the words.
“What do you think it is?” you replied, your voice equally as loud so not to spook him while he was in such a clear state of shock.
“I - I don’t know.”
He still had taken his eyes off of the material in his hands, looking at it like it held every secret unknown to man somewhere within its seams.
“I think you do know.”
Finally, Harry lifted his head in order to look at you. And you felt your eyes water as soon as he did. The rims of his eyes and nose were a deep red, the kind of red you get when trying desperately to hold in sobs. His eyes were a brighter shade of green as more and more tears obstructed his vision, and now that you looked at him properly, his entire body seemed to be shaking.
“If this is a joke, it’s really fucking mean.” he choked out, putting all of his effort into holding back his cries. “Please don’t joke about this.”
As hard as he was trying not to let his tears flow, you were beyond the point of no return. Your cheeks were stained with tears, old dried ones leaving tracks for the new ones to flow freely down, and the lump in your throat prevented you from speaking as loud and confidently as you would have liked.
“It’s not a joke, Harry.” you shook your head, wiping your cheeks with the backs of your hands.
“No?”
“No.”
Harry went back to not saying anything, glancing between you and the black in his hand, not knowing which held more important information. You could see the inner struggle he was having trying to comprehend what was happening, and you wanted to get up and yell it to him. But he needed to go through whatever emotions he needed to, at his own pace.
So you waited for him to do just that.
“So you - you’re pregnant?” he finally sighed, the question making the corners of his lips lift ever so slightly that you would have missed it if you weren’t watching every inch of his face like a hawk. Holding back his tears was long gone as they now flowed down his cleanly shaven cheeks.
“I’m pregnant.” you smiled, the words coming out in one whoosh of air.
So fast that you didn’t understand how he did it, the black shirt - that at first glance was a replica of the logo for the film The Godfather, but when taking a double take, could be found to read The Twinfather instead - was laying in a pile on the floor in front of the closet door and Harry was laying on top of you. Now on your back with Harry hovering above you, both of his forearms on either side of your head, you could fully see the overwhelming joy swimming in his eyes. The last time you had seen this exact look was the day Bella was born. Like within his mind, he was watching the entire world unfold with endless possibilities and unfathomable love.
Harry didn’t let you say anything before he was pressing kisses to your lips, both of your tears making the experience feel a bit slippery as they blended together on your skin. But nothing could make the moment anything less than perfect. Harry’s warmth covered you like a blanket, completely consuming you within the personal bubble that had formed around you on the bed. His lips moved against your with determination, but also care and gratitude, the vaguely strawberry flavored lip balm he was wearing smeared against your own lips, letting the memory of this moment linger for hours to come.
“You’re really pregnant?” Harry asked, his excitement taking over once he pulled back from the kiss.
“Yeah baby,’m pregnant.”
“And is it? It’s - it’s twins? Are you sure? How do you know?” although you knew he would always be there with and for you during all of this, it was reassuring to see him be so ecstatic about the new addition to your family.
“When B and I went to get our Covid tests, the lady asked me if there was a chance I could be pregnant, and - and I couldn’t give her a confident no. So I called Dr. Kelter to see if I could get an appointment before we left and she took me the same day.” your smile grew as you watched him hold on to your every word, wanting to know every single detail you had to give him.
“And she told you it was twins?”
“Yeah. Said she could see them both right away since they can see twins so early. Said ‘m about eleven weeks.” the tears returned to your eyes when you thought about being pregnant again, how much your life was going to change and the excitement that was about to be brought into your lives.
Obviously Harry was feeling the same before he let out another sob, this time his upper half falling onto your chest and burying his face in your neck, his lower body seeming to unconsciously stay away from crushing your belly.
“I love you so fucking much.” he whispered, and you could feel the ever so gentle peck of his lips against your skin. “So fucking much.”
“I love you, Harry.” you whispered back.
“Who knows?” he asked, undoubtedly thinking back to when you were pregnant with Bella and everyone in your lives seemed to know before he did. Something you regretted, but was necessary at the time.
“No one. Just you and me. Want to do everything with you this time.” not wanting to ruin the moment, but also wanting to be realistic for a moment in your clouded minds, you took a second to figure out how to say the concerns that were rushing through your mind at a mile a minute. “I know things are crazy right now and the world is scary and we’re both so busy, but we said if it happened, it happened.”
Harry was pushed up on his forearm in an instant, his other hand cupping your cheek in order to drag your attention to him. He was positively glowing. How only a second ago he was standing pale faced in the closet doorway was beyond you, because now, it was like the sun shined behind his irises.
“I have never been happier in my entire life. We’ll figure it all out together. Like we always do.”
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