#if anyone even remembers me lmao
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i fucking miss being active on tumblr and talking to my mutuals regularly and writing dumb fics and that was back when tumblr and fandom was my entire existence ,,,, 2020 and 2021 were very difficult but it was An Era™️
#anyway these days i don’t use tumblr anymore#(i had phases in ‘20 and ‘21 too where i wasn’t using it but)#now i have a 15 min time limit on my phone 💀#and i don’t care about fandom anymore#so it’s a little lonely out here#anyway if we’re mutuals and we haven’t talked in long just know#i still love you and think of you and hope you’re doing fine#and i hope we can reconnect <3#if anyone even remembers me lmao
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I hate that this is genuinely something I'm writing rn, but nothing has more RATTLED my faith in the writing team's ability to write a Zane story then him calliNG ARIN CRINGE-
#I'm still not over it#And I never will be 😭#It's just-#I'm sorry#But it reeks of a complete lack of understanding regarding a character on the most fundamental level#You are FUCKING WITH ME if you say Zane would genuinely say that to a teenager struggling with so much stuff at the moment#Especially because he was in Arin's position once when he first joined the ninja#Arguably an even worse position because he had no past to remember#It's just#*so* frustrating hearing HIM of all characters mutter that word#And ESPECIALLY in relation to ARIN of all people#If he'd said that about someone like Jay or Cole or anyone on the team frankly#I would've found it fucking incredible and possibly the funniest thing he'd done/said at that point#But NOT the young teenager struggling with his best friend (or family as he says) lying to him and hiding it from him#Sorry I just needed to get this off my chest otherwise I would've exploded#Weekly Zane Julien writing Hate Session number 73 lmao#ninjago#zane julien#zane ninjago#Image is from Quest for the Lost Powers#Aka ACTUAL good charachterisation of Zane and an amazing story for him 💀
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What Mahito did: Manipulate Junpei into being his friend and then killed him in front of Yuji, laughed about Yuji's desperation to save him, killed Nanami, got Nobara into a coma, destroyed one of Todo's hands
Yuji with Mahito at the end:
What Sukuna did: Threaten to kill Yuji's friend multiple times, ripped Yuji's heart out of his chest and then tricked him into making a Binding Vow that he would have to forget in order to bring him back to life, laughed at Yuji when he desperately begged him to try and save Junpei, told him over and over again that his mere existence would bring destruction simply by being his vessel, destroyed Shibuya and killed countless of innocent people, ditched Yuji to make Megumi his new vessel, then sinked Megumi's soul as deep as he could in darkness in order to keep control of his body, killed Tsumiki, killed Gojo, killed Kashimo, killed Higuruma, killed Choso, almost killed Yuta and pushed him into using Kenjaku's CT to get into Gojo's body, kept praising literally everyone else but Yuji (while still trying to kill them), who he kept talking shit about instead, got pissed when Yuji showed pity and told him that he would kill every single person still left alive that Yuji cared about before finally killing him
Yuji with Sukuna at the end:
#personal#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen spoilers#sukuita#like whaaaaaat#Sukuna: did much more evil things to Yuji#Yuji: don't worry pookie I love you anyway#Mahito: looks at Yuji the wrong way#Yuji: I will rip you apart piece by piece and watch as the light vanishes from your eyes and-#-I will track down every future reincarnated version of you to do the same over and over until the end of time#like#I don't even like Mahito but my boy Yuji was WILD#he's down BAD for Sukuna I just can't see it any other way bro#also I might have forgotten some thing but tbh Sukuna has done so much shit to poor Yuji I can't remember it all#the point still stands lmao Mahito did a FRACTION of what Sukuna did and got no pity I love my absolutely whipped son#Yuji and Kenjaku both absolutely obsessed with their respective Ryomen twin the apple truly does not fall far from the tree lmaooo#Yuji really said he'd keep living with Sukuna no matter what anyone else might say or think and that he'd stay by his side till the very end#they make me absolutely and completely feral#these bitches gay#(good for them)
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Cesp do be hungry
#v/ore#soft vore#monster vore#nonsexual vore#cesp#is it only me or cesp basically went through maturity#he's not so thin and lanky as he used to be ;;#if anyone even remembering his original design lmao
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every now and then i get folks asking me "puff do you have any opinions on hazbin hotel"
and i know why they're asking because if there's any fandom that puts LO to shame, it's hazbin hotel / helluva boss and surely i must have some Very Strong Opinions(tm) about the show
but i seriously have never watched a single episode of that show and despite all the controversy and drama i've seen come from the discussion of both the show and its creator, the only thing that really bugs me out of the blue when i'm reminded HH exists are those exclusive playbills that people pre-ordered months ago and still haven't arrived
that is it, that is literally the extent of my engagement with the HH fandom, there will be no further questions about what i think regarding HH because i literally have no idea, they are best asked to whoever comes close to being the generic-puff equivalent of the HH fandom
#i'm not even gonna use the HH tags here because i don't want to invite the ire of anyone from that fandom#that's not an insult or anything i'm just not at all interested in the show so i'm subsequently not interested in the extended discourse#this is just me admitting that every couple months i remember the playbill thing#and then i google “hazbin hotel playbills” to see if the playbill saga has concluded#it apparently still hasn't and the longer it goes on the funnier it gets#but i'm also not anyone with money and wasted time on the line so i don't want to be a dick about it lmao#like this is a very sucky situation and i'm sorry to those who are involved in it#this is very similar to the Fallout76 rum bottle debacle#where the developers promised a Fallout-brand bottle of rum that was clearly going to be made of glass#and then when people finally got it it was just a bottle of shitty rum stored inside a cheap plastic shell case#i hope the wait is worth it for ppl who pre-ordered the playbill but also who the fuck keeps fans waiting MONTHS for a PAMPHLET ??? 😆#it's so funny i'm sorry lmaooo
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anyway my favorite mormon joke made by a nonmormon was in an episode of Skyjacks, wish i could remember which one; someone says something like 'we need more men here' and JPC in-character responds something like 'uh, i think they prefer to be called church of jesus christ of latter-day saints' and its my favorite joke because a) i was so ready for that to be a belittling jab that it actually took me a second to realize it was actually very funny, b) i learned recently that my best friend who studied comparative religions didn't even know what the deal was with 'mormon' vs 'lds' so the fact that JPC knew enough mormon lore to make an informed joke and he stuck to an actual funny one is a delight, and c) i'm pretty sure no one else in the scene even clocked the joke
#jpc literally makes another mormon joke in a dear uhuru thats even deeper mormon lore and which i also dont think#anyone in the scene clocked lmao#i could be wrong and the others were just moving on with the scene lol#theres also something about the 'i think they prefer to be called-' trans joke script getting flipped on its head#that can often be stupid or unfunny but is actually very funny to me here#i think its something about the sheer technical accuracy of it#anyway. nonmormons can do funny mormon jokes so i no longer have any tolerance for meanspirited or belittling ones. do better#lds things#religion things#queerstake#i dont often tag things as queerstake but ive got to remember to do so more often!
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imagine...
...that some things have changed (including some marigold ventures?) and Atlas May is like uh oh both lackadaisy & i are doomed, but if i set up my own death maybe only i'll be doomed and lackadaisy might have to shutter but perhaps more so on involved people's terms, such as mitzi being fine financially, but also if she thinks it's her fault that'll be good for maintaining my posthumous Image to her, perhaps she did some defrauding again? and i'll have mordecai, my trusted & effective gunman, be the one to fatally shoot me, & of course he doesn't want to, but it's Mere Work Ethic time, what's he gonna do besides argue at all maybe, ultimately refuse? (no) and he may hate it but he's not going to want to fully turn on mitzi or anything after because then what would have been the point
#the power of images to incoherently posit my Ideas#can't be concise but Can frame this completely with What If Atlas Did This Thing#if i start with ''so mordecai killed atlas'' there's no time to be like ''not cuz he wanted to; yeah no he wouldn't betray him;'' etc#but see: my tag:#mitzi and mordecai murder mystery#lackadaisy#mitzi may#mordecai heller#i bet that horatio absolutely did not ever do that. chaisis is trying to be a play on crisis btw#bristling fugue moments? don't try to verify it#for the life of me i couldn't find that one specific edit that ends with the ''I Want To Dream....'' dialogue doesn't it lmao. nevertheless#kind of what i meant to make when i ended up drawing Lackabowling & mordico. nicodecai. mordenico. you understand#not sure anyone can understand i'm trying to convey ''if mordecai had to noscope atlas (from afar i bet) a second would pass Very Slowly#from his perspective. how useful if he even has clock sound effect leitmotifs established'' or anything else. have fun be yourself. Post!#corned beef#(ha only now do i remember ''that's completely ambiguous whether it's a second or minute hand'' zoinks#oh well: A Second Feels Like Fifteenish or Mordecai Is Just Standing There Emoji For A Full Minute....either way i guess)
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dyke!Chilaios has me understanding breeding kink all of a sudden
#chilaios#that's a lie i understand breeding kink very well lmao#HOWEVER IT MUST BE SAID#they finish up a great scene. hot lesbian sex. all going well.#and laios lies back with her eyes closed. still flushed and sweaty. she rests her naked hand on her naked lower stomach and says. 'hah....#'did you know ...that tallmen and halflings can have kids together?' Like its just another fun monster fact.#she's trailing her fingers absentmindedly over her stomach now. tracing idle patterns.#'with our lifespans being so similar it isn't even as big a deal as it is for elves and humans. they're even fertile and that's ...#that's really rare for hybrids.' her eyes are still closed. she swallows hard. She's more red now than she was when they fucked.#'you should talk about that next time you're in me. i'd like it...' and she cracks one eye open a sliver#to see chilchuck . BEET. RED.#because Chilchuck DID NOT. KNOW.#She was already fucked out and now she's dying?? she's dying. Laios still has her huge hand resting on her huge smooth stomach#miles and miles of soft skin...that she wants chilchuck to put a BABY in#she's thought about the hypothetical lifespan and safety of the hypothetical baby! is this just a sex thing? is this a for real thing?#chilchuck does not know and does not know which one she's hoping for now!! cause both sound GREAT#AND OF COURSE THERE'S ALSO#chilchuck remembering that conversaion next time Laios's huge huge fingers are inside her. Laios's hot wet breathing by her ear.#Laios's breathing going ragged even though no one is touching HER she is the one toying with Chilchuck right now. She always does that.#between the breathing and the fingers and the warmth and the smell Laios is all around her and she just thinks -#'Laios is so huge. Laios's baby would be so huge. I'd be so huge. Pregnant with it.' And she cums.#rattles her to her fucking core. Chilchuck who HAS BEEN PREGNANT BEFORE realising. holy shit.#i want this fluffy haired socially awkward 26 year old doggirl to . to fuck a baby into me. in a sexy way.#i think . I think it's hot.#enough to turn you to drink isn't it!#u may ask - hey how come chilchuck has a girlcock and has got pregnant? can laios get chilchuck pregnant?#does anyone even have a womb in this situation? I may answer - don't worry about it#a wizard did it. whatever. its a fantasy world.#whatever is sexiest in the moment i don't care#lesbiance
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#I've played with irl atheists and catholics and everything in between#but it rarely feels like faith is a real factor for anyone-- DM or player#outside of‚ again‚ divine spellcasters and Big Epic Plot Things#I mean there are a couple of 'RAAAHGH FUCK THE GODS >:C' edgy backstory types but#no one is just Normally Culturally Religious and it's WEIRD#like it's not even a matter of faith in dnd! the gods are LITERALLY OBJECTIVELY PROVABLY REAL#so what does that MEAN for the average person! how does it shape language? business? culture?#where are the people wearing holy symbols like amulets-- or the way modern christians very casually wear crosses?#blessings over meals? prayers before bed? burnt offerings?#and like I enjoy thinking about world and culture building but I know that's A Whole Thing but even just like...#it doesn't feel like anyone believes in gods at all except clerics and paladins#like they DO because they factually exist but in the same way I 'believe in' like. the president of france.#like yeah he exists and is important to some people but has no bearing on my life whatsoever#that's such a fucking weird approach to the DIVINE in a polytheist world where those gods are YOUR CULTURE'S GODS??#I am bad at this myself but I'm not religious so it's harder for me to remember what Being Religious All The Time Casually is like lol#funny enough my character with the most intentionally religious background in this sense#is one of my ones who's ended up wrapped up in Big Plot God Things lmao#'aubree starts the campaign with a holy symbol of yondalla because of course she does why wouldn't she'#'oh okay well she's gonna get deeply and personally entangled with a bunch of death gods immediately' fdkjghkdf oh!! welp#you don't really pray to urogalan unless you're breaking ground for a new building or someone just died so it's STILL weird for her lol#but at least I had the framework there of 'oh yeah the gods exist and matter to me and my everyday life and culture' in general#about me#posts from twitter
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I think it's a bit ridiculous that anyone other than Dean and Sam themselves (cause of their insane guilt complexes) would count opening the gates of hell as their fault. Like... here are these two ghost hunters, way over there heads in the demon department, doing their best to keep not only their remaining friends and family alive, but humanity in general, they're getting manipulated left and right by demons because they have no information otherwise, and yet they still found the location of hell's gates and closed it, when the actual person at fault (Jake Talley) opened them, and closed them as best they could.
That's while being attacked by the yellow eyed demon. Like? The only reason they didn't shoot Jake to begin with is because of Sam's humanity, and Ellen being in danger. How would this in any way be categorized as their fault?
#spn#supernatural#dean winchester#sam winchester#like again - I can see sam and dean blaming themselves#but they could have just as easily had nothing to do with it at all#and left saving the day to someone else#also the way sam's killing of jake is somewhat framed in a “oh no is he evil actually” way????#like that bitch fucking murdered sam and threatened ellen#he opened the gates! and all of a sudden sam killing him without mercy is a no no??? excuse me??#the framing I find sus - and wonder how it's going to play out in this season#(i only remember the general idea of these seasons honestly)#also dean was selfish in bringing sam back - like I totally get it of course#even support his actions but like - I aint having whatever kind of argument they have in s8#like - bitch you wanted sam to move on and get a life or live without you? And then you get mad when he doesn't try to find you?#like anyone could fucking know what's going on in this world lmao#also I love dean more as I watch him - than whatever the fuck fandom makes him into... i dont care for fandom dean#The Hardy Boys But With Ghosts
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y’all pls 💀 the seleção has officially lost the plot
vini is an incredibly talented player but i could name so many reasons based on the rating criteria of the ballon d’or for why he didn’t win:
- his votes were split across his other club mates (this is directly m*drid’s fault for doing bad PR and also for just putting a bunch of superstars together instead of building a TEAM whose play shows off each other’s strengths—it means vini is not ABSOLUTELY INTEGRAL to the club’s success);
- he so often DOES NOT show class on the pitch—and i’m not referring to him speaking out against racism here, bc of course he fkn should;
- and… he HAS NOT BEEN A KEY PLAYER PERFORMANCE-WISE FOR HIS NATIONAL TEAM!! as a brazil nt supporter since before i came out of the womb, i can confirm that his OWN COUNTRYMEN were saying this during the copa américa.
so why is the seleção posting this saying they’re SO PROUD of him as if he saved someone’s life or something?? did they do this for neymar every year that he lost despite being one of the biggest talents football has ever seen?? 😭😭😭 like wtf is going on in the simulation rn?????
#genuinely losing my mind at this lmao#i’m happy to be wrong if someone knows that they DID indeed make similar posts for neymar’s losses#but i don’t remember them doing so#also i just don’t understand WHY vini was just ASSUMING he would win this award#why would you ever assume that#like why would ANYONE ever assume that#messi and r*naldo included#you know what they say about assuming 🤡#it just gives me really bad vibes when i see people with this level of arrogance and ego#like what happened to humility as an appreciated value/characteristic??? why have we abandoned that#or even just QUIET CONFIDENCE#god that’s so underrated#i love love love athletes/artists/people who just let their talent speak for itself#vini pls learn from them bruh#brazil nt#real madrid#vinicius jr#ballon d’or#neymar
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i saw a post was like 'lets talk about how you need to be leaving the man you love for the man you deserve' and while that may be sound advice, no man seems to want me at all let alone one that i deserve.
#i think men are actually kinda scared of me#and im not even sure why#i am the least intimidating person on the planet. and like#yeah sure i get compliments and stuff but no one asks me on dates i cant remember the last time a man tried to like court me or something#(spoiler alert a really long time ago)#what is it that is so offputting to them about me#im like pretty?? ish?? im funny i think im quite nice and i love spreading positivity and supporting people too#i get more attention from women than men#this is not a critique it just makes dating really hard when you date men#since most of them seem not to like me lmao#and i don't understand it really.#and it actually kinda makes me sad.#i do wanna get married i do wanna have kids etc etc. im nearly 27 and i haven't dated anyone in years.#and angone who does like me never actually tells me. so i go on thinking no one actually does.
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Me, episode 1: Oh, a relatable protag! And a relatable female protag, at that. Sweet! That never happens.
Me, a few episodes in: Wait, the protag really is going to be my character? The one I identify with the most? Seriously? It's not going to be a strange, at least somewhat sinister, seemingly hostile male side character? It's gonna be a female character and the protagonist? That's insane, that literally never happens... what's the catch??
Me, more than halfway through the season: ... huh, I guess Maomao really is it. Okay, then ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Me to myself, after episodes 22/23:
#i let my guard down#i should have known#like really i should know better by now lmao#that's probably the best depiction of prosopagnosia i've seen in fiction ngl#also luo//men's suggestion re: using other attributes to tell people apart??#A++ approach what a guy#mine isn't nearly as severe but i totally use footsteps/gait/mannerisms as my primary means of distinguishing people#the very few people i care about i can definitely recognize by facial features#and people i see frequently; though i do have trouble recognizing them if they appear in a context i'm not used to#like. if i were to see one of my sword classmates at my workplace for instance i would have trouble recognizing them#but anyone else? forget it#the most difficult part of working veterinary front desk was returning animals to their owners#bc even though i could have /just/ spoken with the owners like. ten minutes ago#i couldn't tell you which animal belonged to which owner#faces just don't register with me#dogs were easier in that i'd just let them lead me to their owners#but if it was a cat in a carrier i was fucked lmaooo#it's why if there was another receptionist working i'd let them handle any hand offs XDD#i don't remember most of my childhood but i have some very vivid impressions of moments like#my mother asking me to go give a cash tip to the hairdresser who did her hair and me being unable to pick who it was out#of everyone that was working even though i'd been there with them for two plus hours.#or like. taking the school bus home and being unable to recognize my bus monitor and so getting on the wrong bus#and also getting ridiculed about this by my parents lol. ah good times.#on the other hand i can easily recognize a dog i've met once or twice even years later. and remember their name.#i think it all mostly comes down to disinterest for me. i've tried to change this but it's just how i am#so. he's very relatable. painfully so#also the pragmatism and rationality and hyperfixating on things.#i've never hyperfixated on another person tho and i am so grateful for that every single day#i know in my bones it would be an absolute disaster XD#withoutwords
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23 is young and i don't wanna go acting like it isn't but sometimes i see stuff from baby zoomers and i feel fucking ancient. skibidi toilet? i have yet to understand what that's referencing. reality shifting? i was into new agey stuff as a teen and i get the whole law of attraction/manifestation thing, but the rest is all greek to me. a good half of the aesthetics i see talked about online? literally got overwhelmed when i stumbled on the aesthetics wiki last year and i feel like an idiot seeing all these kids list off like 4 different hyperspecific aesthetics to describe themselves 😭 girl what does any of that mean? patiently explain it like i'm 85 when it comes up, or don't expect me to know what the hell you're talking about. i'll just end up smiling and nodding like your out of touch grandpa who loves your energy but is frightened by cellphones and the concept of smartfridges 💀💀💀
#i genuinely am not dunking on any of this stuff (i have no idea what any of it is in detail lmao) and i think it's lame#as hell to dunk on young ppl stuff just bc it's enjoyed by young ppl. regardless i have no idea what's going on with the youth sometimes#and i don't think that's ever gonna change. i don't rlly care to devote a lot of time to stay Cool and Hip bc i'm NOT steve buscemi and i'm#okay with being viewed as uncool but it still surprises me the extent to which this is already happening to me and i'm not even 25#back in MY day we had gangnam style & vine compliations & i was only mosscore with a hint of dark academia and that's how we LIKED it! /s#i honestly feel more in touch with millenials then i do anyone too young to remember the great recession or life before the omnipresence of#the internet. that's surely due in part to us being legal adults but also bc i think anyone who HASN'T experienced a childhood without#smartphone access or one free of years of economic struggle has a much different life experience than i do. i didn't get a phone til 12 and#i didn't get a smartphone til 14/15ish. i never complain abt gas prices like my parents do bc i grew up when it was $3-$5. i can't eat#canned peaches bc they remind me of '07-'11. this isnt to say i had it harder - i wasn't a kid during covid - but its slightly harder to#relate to#len speaks
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Mmm actually I think we do owe love and care to our loved ones! We do owe each other things sometimes! There is a duty of care in our relationships that we should do our very best to uphold. It's the basis for human connection? An informal agreement we have with someone dear to us that we will support and cherish them and not just when it's easy and in the ways that feel effortless to us but also in the ways that they feel most loved.
We owe each other consideration. We owe each other a chance to chime in on important things and we should not make unilateral decisions. We owe each other reassurance sometimes too! Gasp!
I know that we're unlearning our generational trauma collectively but what's the point if we draw such hard boundaries around ourselves that nobody is let in, and nobody is helped, loved or considered when they really need it?
What is the point of being connected to another human being if it's understood between the two of you that if shit hits the fan, they are loyal only to themselves and you can get fucked?
I get it. We need to be self-sufficient. We can't rely on someone to the point of falling apart when they leave the house. But entering into a relationship or close friendship (or nurturing our existing familial relationships that are healthy) is a declaration that we CAN but don't WANT to be 100% self-sufficient anymore. We'd like to outsource a portion of our bandwidth to the other person. And in exchange, we take on some of theirs. It can't be rainbows all the time: again, most of us are traumatized by our parents in some way. We have behaviours that make us unpleasant sometimes! But why does that necessarily mean that we cut each other off when we show symptoms? When we actually need to cash in on some support the most? Where pray tell lies the nuance between "cut off abusive people who have no intention of changing" and "sometimes our loved ones can act ugly on the road to healing, but as long as they commit to bettering themselves I will see them through it"???? Does the latter not exist at all?
The act of caring and being cared for is one of the only fucking things we have left that can sustain our hearts in this bleak world. If you don't want to be burdened with the expectation of reciprocation in your relationships then what is the point of seeking connection? You are missing a fundamental fucking variable.
#personal#we need to be able to lean on people and feel them bend but not break#i think that kind of acceptance is healing to our inner children abused by the boomer generation#they didn't accept us for shit#and now we perpetuate their work for them! nice!#there's no loyalty or resilience in relationships anymore people see others as easily replaceable#i remember my ex coldly telling me that he didn't "want to be responsible for [my] feelings at all anymore”#as a hard boundary of his and ultimatum to the relationship#& i was floored#that is such a general and broad statement!! everything we do has the potential to affect each others' feelings!!!!#what do you mean you want no responsibility for my emotional wellbeing as my partner are you quite alright SIR??????#and at the time i just cried and nodded because I was too afraid to lose him#I felt bad bc my cptsd made me really needy sometimes so i felt it was fair at the time#even though my intuition screamed at me that this was wrong wrong wrong#I did not deserve to be treated by both my mother and partner like they owed me nothing but like i owed them everything#i was supposed to be infinitely patient and understanding in the face of both abuse and neglect#we owe our loved ones care! & they owe it to us! If dynamics need to be adjusted the have that discussion#but if you don't want to be accountable to anyone but yourself then go live in the fucking woods lmao
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doodles from the past week :3 feat. [heart emoji]'s art and 1 drawing from my friend who i drew some girl over
#31st art#papcest#suggestive ?/#i add the question mark like its impossible to view it as suggestive LMAO#none of the stuff is meant to seem like Sex though i jsut like drawing people make out#or well. skeletons not people#how does that even work. anyways#papyrus#edgepuff i think is the shipname#i dont know actually?????? what the hell is their shipname#idk the only fics ive found of them that arent like. incredibly uncomfortable to read are by spingtail and one of the fics is tagged with#edgepuff so im assuming thats the ship name??????????????????????? someone correct me if i'm wrong#and also new generation of the Mes. shoutout to anyone that remembers the old whiteboard variations of me :3#also i have a laptop background that i made yesterday#i'll touch it up later and post it to main :3
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