#if anyone actually reads this i will be shocked.
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omg i LOVE the concept of cookies as asks so can i have a sugar cookie, #8, with chocolate drizzle and marshmallows thank yeww 🙏
t-t-total idia victory!
order #8, sugar with chocolate drizzle and marshmallows
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ internet connection
tropes: ex (mutuals) to lovers, roommate au characters: idia additional info: romantic, gender neutral reader, reader is yuu
It was the closest experience to dating Idia had ever gotten, and likely the only experience he'd ever get again.
Three months.
Three perfect, blissful months.
That's 13.0357 weeks, 91.2501 days, 2,190 hours of chats, voice calls, and texts with someone he had almost considered his.
He was raising his confidence stats to ask them out when they sent him a message, which would be their last:
"router busted. sry. will get it fixed soon"
That was weeks ago.
Idia couldn't blame them. They were going to get tired of him eventually, and ghosting him, sucky as it was, was still the easiest way to let him down.
Then, at least, he could pretend that they were telling the truth.
"Come on, Idy! This is your chance! You'll never get over them if you never meet anyone else!"
Ortho's cheery, hopeful words twist Idia's stomach with guilt. He knows that. Of course he knows that.
He buries himself deeper into his blankets. "I don't want anyone else,"
"It's only for a few weeks. Maybe you'll make friends!"
Unlikely. Idia doesn't have the social XP for that. Who would want to be friends with him, anyway?
He can't even keep Magicord mutuals.
Then again, he has no other choice.
The Prefect had asked to stay somewhere with a high-speed internet connection while post-S.T.Y.X. Ramshackle was being repaired, and Ortho had volunteered Idia.
And his room.
Ugh. Why can't anything go right for once?
Idia hides under his covers like a small child, drowning the sound of the door and voices in PreMo.
He honestly doesn't know a lot about you. He doesn't get out much, and even if he did, you've always got those OP normie friends around you.
He knows you don't talk much. He's actually never heard you talk at all.
Whatever.
Idia only emerges from his blankets when his ears are ringing from the music and his body is sore from stillness.
He takes off his headphones and reads the room.
There's Ortho, projecting a beam of light on the wall, and there's Grim, chasing it, and there's you.
You seem a little out of place, awkwardly sitting on the floor when there are chairs and tables, your bags still at your sides, unpacked.
Something about you makes him feel at ease. Weird.
"Oh- Idy!" Ortho chimes. Idia jumps, and then everyone is looking at him. Crap.
"We were wondering when you'd come out! The Prefect has a question for you!"
You give Ortho a panicked look, as if to say you most certainly did not have a question for him. Idia has his own suspicions.
"About the Wi-Fi," Ortho chimes. "They really need to get online."
Idia narrows his eyes. His brother can handle something as simple as that.
"...O-okay," he mumbles. "I guess."
He reluctantly gets out of bed and sits beside you. At least with an objective, he isn't so nervous. You hand him your phone, some sad secondhand thing, and he puts in the password for you.
"Lemme know if it's slow. I've been working on upgrading the router, and it's been a little laggy," he hands your phone to you.
"Shouldn't be a problem, though."
You take it. "I can't complain, I don't have a router at all right now,"
Idia's face turns red.
His eyes go wide.
He can't place it, at first. What's that weird feeling? What is it about you-
You notice his expression. "Uh... did I say something?"
And when you speak again, just like that, Idia jumps to his feet.
"IT-IT'S YOU!"
"You?" Grim asks.
"You?" Ortho echoes.
"Me?"
Idia feels like he's losing his mind, his anxiety cracking and breaking away, shock taking its place.
"Y-yes, you! I know that voice! Don't you- you recognize mine too, don't you?!"
Your eyes widen.
"Oh... no... no way,"
"I-I can't believe this!" he says, suddenly grinning. "You weren't lying about the router, it must've got totally busted when S.T.Y.X- oh, crap. IT'S ALL MY FAULT!"
"Idy..." Ortho warns. "Your heart rate is-"
"I know! I know, I just- I can't believe it- you, of all people,"
He sits again, shaking. It takes you a moment to catch up.
"I... I wasn't lying," you mumble. "I've been trying to get a decent internet connection since we got back, but..."
"This is the guy?" Grim mumbles to you. He is ignored.
Idia feels lightheaded. This isn't real. This isn't happening. This is some weird dream.
He can't seem to stop grinning, anyway.
"Will you go out with me?!" he asks, without thinking at all. But not even the sinking feeling in his stomach is enough to ground him.
You stare back, your own eyes wide.
And then, in your familiar voice, in your familiar easing presence: "I'd like that,"
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more for 124 :(((((((
Hand in Hand - Nam-gyu / Player 124
Pairing: Nam-gyu / Player 124 x Reader
Summary: The fight in the men's bathroom and the rising tension between players gave you much to worry about, but Nam-gyu gave you to comfort you needed
Warnings: Mentions of death/dying, blood, killing (typical squid game stuff), other than that it's just fluff, not proof read (english isn't my first language)
Word count: 721 words
A/N: Tihihihi, I love this man fr. I hope this isn't too cringe🧍♀️
You couldn't sleep, actually, no one was able to sleep. Sitting on the bed under you was Nam-gyu, who didn't want to talk to you - talk to anybody - after the fight was broken up. You immediately understood what was up when he yelled out that the men who voted 'X' had attacked them, killing some of the players. Thanos didn't return. Yeah, it was pretty obvious why he seemed so pissed off, so shell-shocked. Quietly, you sat up, carefully leaning down to see what he was doing. Nam-gyu was biting his fingernails, eyeing Thanos' cross necklace that he was holding in his slightly shaky hands. Seeing you leaning down from the corner of his eye, he frowned.
"What?"
"I can't sleep."
"Why?"
"I'm scared.."
Nam-gyu's face immediately softened upon hearing your words. He swallowed hard and hastily tucked the necklace into his pocket, gesturing for you to come down and sit next to him. As gently as possible to not catch anyone elses attention, you dropped down from your bed and leaned against the headboard of Nam-gyu's bed, your shoulder pressed against his. "Are you sad?" you asked quietly, just looking down at your lap as you spoke. You heard his breath hitching for a moment, but he still asked you what you meant by that. "Sad about- well you know." Silence.
Nam-gyu wasn't quite sure how to answer that question. He has witnessed so many deaths in this place by now and none of them have affected him in the slightest. He didn't know them well, so why should he care about a random player? "Because, I'm not sure if I should be." your voice interrupted his thoughts. Slowly, he turned his head your way, taking in your side profile in the dim light. "Nah," Nam-gyu chuckled, "he was an asshole. Had it coming, in my opinion." Despite his words, he sounded bitter. It's not like he didn't mean them, because that's exactly how Thanos was, but they still had some kind of.. friendship.
You met his gaze, your eyes wandering over his face covered in splatters of blood. That was worrying by itself, but you didn't have any interest in asking about what role he played in that fight. "And why are you scared?" You looked at him like he asked you the most stupid question in the world.
"Come on, you know everyone will try to kill each other now."
"And you know that I won't let anything happen to you."
Ever since he defended you from a group of men, who were making more than weird comments about you, immediately on the first day you woke up in this hellhole, you've just stuck with him. On multiple occasions now, Nam-gyu has proven that he actually won't let anything or anyone harm you. Why? He doesn't know it, either. He just likes you and you didn't take that for granted. Nam-gyu made you feel safe, you trusted him, even if that's hard to believe. Usually, he'd be compliant with what Thanos would say or tell him to do, just not when he was giving you a hard time — That's partially why he just couldn't feel sorry for that man.
Slowly, Nam-gyu wrapped his arm around your neck, making you lean your head against his. The silence between you two was never awkward and more comforting than anything. You were able to hear faint whispers of other players, feet tapping the ground and the occasional cough from that old guy, Player 100. Nam-gyu's hair tickled the side of your face as he pressed a soft kiss to your forehead.
"Whatever happens tonight, I promise I'll keep you safe."
#squid game#squid game fanfic#squid game season 2#squid game x reader#squid games#squid games x reader#nam gyu x reader#nam gyu squid game#player 124 x reader#player 124
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Hi Rae. Who gave you permission to snap my heart in two at midnight? No, really, this has me going insane so have my ranting under the cut:
He's not normal. Not someone you should be happy to see. […] But you are– everytime he drags his weary body to your window– you're happy. You smile, welcome him inside like he has a place there.
The way I’m already screaming “because he does have a place there!” before we’ve even hit the end. Something about Jason not being able to accept love not because other people are liars or insincere but because he can’t comprehend why anyone would love him is so heartbreakingly in character.
It's not like he can offer the same back or return the favors you so freely give. He wants to– at least he thinks he does– he just gets stuck when it comes to what to do with you.
Reciprocity—tit for tat, an eye for an eye—being so ingrained in his perception of the world and of himself that he can’t realize he doesn’t have to return the favor, that he can just accept the kindness for what it is, makes me want to cry. Thanks.
shocked to stillness each time your hands don't bring a wave of hurt to his skin.
Stray dog coded Jason who doesn’t know what to do when touch doesn’t hurt is so dear to me. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again: your characterization of him is golden.
He adores you. He won't admit it to anyone, not even to himself most of the time. But he does.
Jason who loves so deeply, so completely that it could destroy him. Jason who has spent both of his lives just trying to stay above water, running from anything that could harm him. Jason who was killed because he loved so fiercely. Just…him finding himself loving someone that much again and sort of bluescreening on what that means for him.
There is no happy ending when all he can offer is fleeting comforts and one word answers. He doesn't deserve your patience, your endless willingness to understand and wait for him to figure himself out.
The absolute overpowering emotion of needing to drill it into his head with love and kindness and care that there is a happy ending with all of that actually. And that he does deserve good things and patience and love. I just know loving him would be so frustrating sometimes but that each time it would just make you want to stick around more.
If he knew how, he'd ask if you were really okay with who he is, what he does, how he acts. Your eagerness to make him feel like he does fit into any place in your life makes him wonder if it's all just a mask. If you're just waiting for him to be at his worst to reveal that it's all a lie– that he's truly and devastatingly unwanted.
So this whole paragraph took me out but that last line destroyed me. The phrase “truly and devastatingly unwanted” is going to live rent free in my head for a while now.
it's just that the store was out and he was bleeding too heavily through his suit to stop at anywhere else.
I recently read a piece of Jason meta that said that he would accept any and all harm or mistreatment just to get the companionship and love he craves and this really speaks to that because why are you picking up ice cream when you’re bleeding out??? Oh, it’s because he thinks he’s unworthy of basic human decency if he has nothing to offer.
You're just too good. Everything Jason isn't. He feels like he's dragging you down with him when you offer to keep emergency weapons for him hidden in your apartment. He's definitely staining everything you are with his greedy hands when you start keeping extra first aid kits in your closet.
Clawing at the walls while screaming “they do it because they love you!!!” I love reading this from the perspective of his partner because it’s just sitting here listening to the internal monologue of man that is confidently incorrect. Your description of him being an unreliable narrator is spot on.
And when you clean out a drawer in your dresser for him to keep clothes in, when you stock your cupboards with all his preferred foods, fill your shelves with his favorite books, and play the songs he loves to hum along to, he selfishly lets himself believe you might want this forever too. You do.
One of my favorite things about how you write Jason is that he always, without fail, breaks at the end just a little bit. The sustained love and care and kindness always manages to get the tiniest foothold in his soul, like a flower growing through a crack in concrete. Even when he thinks he’s being selfish or delusional or blindly hopeful. It’s so true to what loving someone like him would be like—slow and gradual and hard fought, but resolute and unflinching.
So yeah, in short I love this with my entire being and I will be sending you the bill for my therapy (please never stop writing).
If He Could
Jason is an unreliable narrator ~1k words
Jason's no good for you. He's too brash, too rough, too easily pulled away to defend the streets of Gotham. He's a liability in your life, a dark stain in the otherwise perfect fabric of your reality. He's all the worst of shadowed alleys and tortured corners of decaying apartments.
He's quick to pull a weapon, even quicker to throw a punch. He doesn't quite remember how to make his smile look natural, how to stand without his shoulders tense and ready to dodge whatever comes his way. He's not normal. Not someone you should be happy to see.
But you are– everytime he drags his weary body to your window– you're happy. You smile, welcome him inside like he has a place there.
And he doesn't know what to do with it. Doesn't know how he should react to your bright eyes and soft touches and fond words. It's not like he can offer the same back or return the favors you so freely give. He wants to– at least he thinks he does– he just gets stuck when it comes to what to do with you.
He knows he shouldn't tense up at your reassuring pats to his arms– but he freezes, shocked to stillness each time your hands don't bring a wave of hurt to his skin. He knows he shouldn't be so quiet when you ramble about your day, but he can't find the words to describe just how much he does care about every mundane fact you share with him.
And oh, does he care. Too much even. Cares in a way that scares him off the grid for days at a time, only to sheepishly find his way back to your fire escape with a tub of melting ice cream or cooling coffee and a half-baked excuse on his tongue.
He adores you. He won't admit it to anyone, not even to himself most of the time. But he does. It's you who he wants to come back to when his feet ache and his eyes strain to make out words and figures. It's you who makes him feel not so heavy when the sun starts to rise over the tired, crumbling buildings he knows better than his own skin.
He has a portion of his heart and mind set aside just for you. But Jason can't tell you that. The more he relents to you (because he can never say no when you ask), the more he threatens to ruin you. He's a slow rot, a plague that sets into the very marrow of your bones.
But you don't see it. He doesn't want you to, but you should. You should understand that by carving out a place for him besides you, you are going to destroy yourself from the inside out.
There is no happy ending when all he can offer is fleeting comforts and one word answers. He doesn't deserve your patience, your endless willingness to understand and wait for him to figure himself out.
It's not fair to you– to either of you. But he always ends up back in your living room, always ends up with his hands curling into fists as you graciously take whatever food or trinket he's brought to try and win your continued affections.
He secretly believes he must be the most selfish person in the world when he leans into your warm hugs, when he passes out on your couch after your semi-regular movie nights. (He tries not to linger on what it means when he sleeps better on your old, worn furniture than his own bed)
It's cruel of him to lead you on like this. It's cruel of him to set himself up for heartbreak. You'll learn that he's not worth your time soon enough. But, for now, he can't help but bask in the way you offer to stitch the tears in his clothes, the way you so excitedly ask him to try every new recipe you've made.
If he knew how, he'd ask if you were really okay with who he is, what he does, how he acts. Your eagerness to make him feel like he does fit into any place in your life makes him wonder if it's all just a mask. If you're just waiting for him to be at his worst to reveal that it's all a lie– that he's truly and devastatingly unwanted.
Those words still haven't come from either of your lips– don't come– even when he messes up and brings you the wrong flavor of ice cream. (It's not that he forget what you liked– it's just that the store was out and he was bleeding too heavily through his suit to stop at anywhere else)
The words don't even come when he doesn't tell you why he disappeared for over a month this time. (Someone got too close to his identity– to you. He had to track down everyone involved before he could even think of resting or seeing you again)
Jason wants to have the right words, wants to do the right thing, and make you laugh and watch your eyes light up because of something he did. He wants to hug you back in a way that makes you feel safe and needed and wanted above all else. He wants to. He just doesn't deserve to give you that, even if he knew how to do it.
You're just too good. Everything Jason isn't. He feels like he's dragging you down with him when you offer to keep emergency weapons for him hidden in your apartment. He's definitely staining everything you are with his greedy hands when you start keeping extra first aid kits in your closet.
But for the life of him, he can't stop. Can't stop his familiar trek to your windowsill. Can't stop craving the hugs you offer, the conversations you share.
He wants this forever. He wants to keep this– you– whatever this is, in between his fingers and never let go. (He could if you'd just let him) You would.
And when you clean out a drawer in your dresser for him to keep clothes in, when you stock your cupboards with all his preferred foods, fill your shelves with his favorite books, and play the songs he loves to hum along to, he selfishly lets himself believe you might want this forever too. You do.
#jason todd x reader#rae I know I’m always unhinged in your reblogs but it’s bc you understand the guy I’ve been rotating in my brain for over a decade so well#your Jason is perfect and he makes me very sad and very happy and deeply in love#all time faves
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Hi )
I read your takes on Clexa and I am fangirling at how accurate I think they are. So I would really like to hear your thoughts on something, if you don't mins.
Imagine if accursed 307 went a little bit different at the end and Titus' aim was a bit surer and he got his target. So Lexa heard a commotion and went to investigate, she opens doors only to see Clarke's shocked face. Followed by Clarke's limp body fall into her arms. There is a lot of blood, Clarke is unresponsive and there is Titus, 10 feet away with a smoking gun.
What would be Lexa thoughts, emotions?
What will she do next, considering current political situation?
What do you think she will be doing if the wound is fatal?
Oof
Well 1. Thank you 🥹
And 2.
I think Lexa's initial reaction would've been complete shock and terror. That's what it was when she heard the shots from her room and you know that because rather than reaching for a weapon or armor or calling for her guard, she disregarded all of her training and all of her knowledge of power, and simply had to get to Clarke as fast as possible.
Heart pounding, terror stricken, she just had to get to Clarke.
And I don't think her initial reaction would've been any different if she had stumbled upon a wounded Clarke in thah room.
But that only would've been an instantaneous response that was then shed away, because she is so used to reacting on her feet. The gunshots posed an unknown threat, so admittedly it got the best of her (actually shitty writing got the best of her because she absolutely would not have done that but hahahhaha anyway 😒). But blood? Pain? She knows those intimately. She knows what to do with that. She's been in innumerable battles and delt with injuries and gore and so on from such a young age, and everything we ever saw of her showed that even when she was startled, her brain was always going at the speed of lightning. While everyone around her is still accessing a situation, she's already taken it all in and is mentally 10 miles down the road in terms of what she's going to do.
With that in mind, I think Lexa's next reaction would be to tend to Clarke, plain and simple. It would've been the instinctual thing she did - reach for her, run to her, scoop her up and be there to comfort just as she always did whenever she felt Clarke needed her. She would've shouted not only for Titus to get a healer, but also she probably would've bellowed for anyone within earshot to find a healer while she herself administered first aid (ya know more than just pouring water on it dO YOU HEAR ME TALKING CLARKE DO YOU FUCKING HEAR ME)
*deep breath*
..... Anyway....
Emotionally speaking?
I think it would've probably been the most terror stricken she's ever felt in her life.
Because she can accept her own death. In fact has accepted the reality of it since she was first called. She has overcome the loss of her people, the potential loss of her power. Lost her own innocence and her first love. Has overcome the pain of having to take the life of her most trusted ally by her own hand and pretend it didn't bother her at all.
But I think the chaos of that moment would've kind of snapped everything into focus. Because while it's one thing to accept the danger in the abstract idea of sending Clarke back to Arkadia with a sweet kiss on her lips and a prayer that she'll be ok so that one day they'll meet again, it's another horror entirely feeling the warm finality of her death seeping out of a bullet wound and onto her hands.
Losing another lover? One she loves deeper than she ever thought possible? Her equal in every regard?
I just think she would have felt the most scared she'd ever been in her life. The most desperate. The most powerless...
As for what she'd do next, I don't think whether Clarke lived or died would've changed anything in respect to Titus.
I think she would've killed him.
Whether in that room or in a public execution, either way he would've died by her hand for personal reasons and political reasons, and I think rightfully so on both accounts, because consider how it would make her look in the eyes of her people.
He not only directly disobeyed her orders and went rogue with his own plans, he made an attempt on a clan ambassador's life without order or tangible justification. Lexa had not only publicly vowed that Clarke would be under her protection while in Polis, but she gave orders that they had until sundown to be back at Arkadia.
And he just said fuck it, fuck you, Imma do what I want.
In him doing that, he would've made Lexa not only look weak, but also look as though she wasn't even in control of her own direct subordinates. If someone as heralded and protected and trusted by the throne as the Fleimkepa can get away with subverting Lexa's rule... why should anyone else bother listening to her? Why shouldn't anyone else make attempts on any life they so wish? He would have effectively undermined every single thing she and her unified rule over the coalition stood for.
And on top of everything, Clarke is not just anyone.
She is Wanheda.
If Clarke died and Lexa didn't kill Titus, then that would indicate that Titus now has power over death. That coupled with him blatantly usurping Lexa's command? Uhhhhh. No. Can't let that stand. Not for a single second.
If Clarke lived and she didn't kill Titus, then that would indicate that anything Lexa says is free for challenge because she obviously does not follow through with consequences for direct crimes. Clarke's life is now even more free for the taking to any who should be so bold. The kongeda means nothing because Lexa's power is no longer absolute. Obviously, she can't let that stand either.
So really that bald bitch signed his own death warrant the second he picked up that gun, no matter the outcome. But also, no matter the outcome, for every bit he spewed his bullshit about Clarke weakening Heda, those actions alone would've severely hurt her image on the political stage regardless of the fine details.
Because now she's open to even more murmurings of deferential treatment to Clarke, specifically, but also to the Skaikru as a whole by sheer association. Her allegiance to the coalition vs Clarke and Co. would be questioned and antagonized and tested at every turn (more than it already was.)
Inevitably it all would've been a clusterfuck, and civil war on Lexa and the coalition would've become inevitable I think.
And frankly????
That would've been A Lot more interesting to watch than the slop that they gave us 🙄
#amjustanobserver#clexa#long sorry 😅#can't ask me to rant about Clexa I'll have you here all week lol#hopefully this answers what you were looking for tho 💕#on a purely personal level#i think Lexa wouldn't become a shell of herself#but that's another rant entirely
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Okay, so the longer you go blind, the more your other senses heighten. Humans have proven that they can develop echo location. Especially since humans already have a form of it in their every day lives.
Just one of the Bat Fam hearing clicks, only to find Reader making the noise to pin point where things are. But the second they turn the corner, Reader stops and turns their head towards the 'sibling' that suddenly came into their room.
"Why were you clicking so much?"
"Oh, it makes it easier to get around when there isn't anyone else to make sound. Usually, any amount of sound can help me locate what's around me."
"Like... a bat?"
"I guess? It's not new. Lot of blind people can do it to some extent."
-
On another note, I feel like Tim would be the least likely to treat Reader as a baby when his attention is on them. He literally trained to fight blind. So did Bruce. But for Bruce, he hasn't had to use that skill in so long, and it was a small part of his training. Tim frequently makes use of his skill in some way, even if he can see, using it as a way to dodge or attack behind himself.
Maybe this leads to Tim getting Alfred to recommend blind self defense training and some martial arts training. After he gets back from his own blind training for Robin. And then just forgets about Reader.
But this leads Reader to actually favoring Tim a bit more, cause he doesn't treat them like an idiot or an invalid. He also made sure Reader has a form of training.
Maybe, when he starts becoming Yandere, he invites Reader to the training mats to help him keep his blind fighting up and teach her more.
Heck, we can even continue on this line. Reader walking with a friend in Gotham, and a mugger to try to grab the blind person. Damian, as Robin on patrol with his siblings, tries to intervene before the 'weak' sibling gets hurt. Only to watch the mugger get bodily tossed, or their feet swept out from under themselves.
And Tim isn't surprised.
OH MY GOD I AM SORRY THIS TOOK FOREVER TO ANSWER😭😭
Yeah , when you treat a child like an adult it will imitate you. Many actually confused children's accent for not knowing how to pronounce words because of lack of knowledge (still a key factor) but it's actually them imitating the baby talk they hear.
Tim would be the type who shows you how to fish instead of giving you fish. I feel like in some sweet way he used to read to you not fairytales but hardknock books be it from science to history. Reader would slightly have better manners with Tim then anyone else because even with their relationship strained she is happy with the memories.
The exact scene Tim will become yandere would actually seeing you do the stuff he taught you doing alone , like slight training in your room , reading alone in braille (it looked low quality since finding braille books are difficult to find) he didn't know what you were reading , he felt bad , so he secretly started learning braille to make books for you and making sure they are the highest quality paper and making sure it's the best of the best translation by going to professionals and staying up to make the cover textures you like. He does ask you about your constant clicking and tapping of foot and gets you so many clicky pens.
Damian , unconsciously followed you walking home and was upset you walking around the street without a cane (he was jealous of your friend holding your hand for guidance) , a rush blurree was about robbed you blind but your insticts bodied him so hard in the cement floor that your friend was the one screaming. Damian was stilled shock and waited for you and your friend to leave to check on the man , kicking the robber's leg and checking his heart (he's alive but paralyzed) he is Honestly excited , HIS OLDER SIBLING CAN FIGHT! Though still amateur move , THEY CAN STILL FIGHT.
In Damian's mind fighting and playing is practically the same.
#yandere batboys#yandere batfam#yandere damian wayne#neglected reader#yandere tim drake#blind reader
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Research Note 125: 5 Therians Progress
Today was supposed to be a day of work on equipment, but somehow 5 of my friends had appointments today! So I stopped in on all of them. These notes may be important one day, but I also just love being able to write everyone's progress down.
[Artwork done amazingly and perfectly by https://www.furaffinity.net/view/59179875/ . Go. Check. Them. Out!]
Blue: Filling In I mention her a lot, but Dr. Blue has been one of the leading people on the biomedical side. She also has been instrumental in my transition, not only helping as I realized who...what I was, but helping facilitate. Sometimes, a little offputting, but always means well. (I wouldn't have anyone else, she is the leading mind in her field across the pond.) She had decided to transition a year prior to myself. Part of her always wanted to be a dragon, but most of her decided to be an otter. Once she moved over to this side of the Earth, she started transition. Our first few times working together, her skin had already turned color in patches. As her body changed, the fur patching continued. She's often explained it in her medical terminology, but it might as well be an alien language to me. The gist, her skin is having a hard time changing even though the rest of her body is rapidly accepting. It's been quite amazing seeing her come out of the lab each week a bit different anatomically, yet still patchy human skin. Likely, that's why we stay close, both have remnants of human we don't exactly want sticking around. We try to stay social outside of work. Outside, she's a playful sociable squeaky otter. Yet at work, she's laser-focused and stoic as all hell. Today, she wasn't supposed to be at work, but she had to fill in for one of the techs whose treatment has left them too sore to come in. Surprised me when her blue-haired head turned the corner to throw me all of the data to load into the machines. And as usual, her seemingly grumpy ass stoically just, delivered them. In return, I smiled back and excitedly took them with a "Thaaaank youuuu, have a good day!" One day, her otterness will show at work too.
Tracy: Closer (KoboldHRT) There has been an... unfortunate situation created by other players in the animal/species HRT space. Some patients haven't actually been given proper treatment, and effectively have been turned to adjacent species. As far as I understand, our lab may be unethical for military practices, but experimentation without consent is next level. So, a team led by Dr. Blue and I have been working on effectively species transition, transition. Taking someone and trying to steer their body back to their preferred path. It doesn't take someone to 100% where they belong, but helps. We figured it's also a good way to help the hybrid species take form better.
My friend Tracy was one of a pair of sisters who chose to be dragons. Unfortunately, their doctors gave them treatment to become a kobold... If you know anything about the difference, you can see the problems. Tracy has been in treatment for 4 years, and now a year of adjacent transition. It's been hard, and long but she is progressing and growing better than expected. Hopefully, soon we will see dragon features start to come out. Then maybe, if we can find her sister, we can treat her too. But that's a story better told by her.
Pigeon: Next Steps (Pigeon HRT) It might shock you, but my friend named Pigeon, is a pigeon. She's near the end of the first phase of her transition, and looks the part of a rainbow birb. We've grown close over writing, and her's about her transition is phenomenal. But, she didn't just want to be a Pigeon, but a plush pigeon. Yes, you read that right. Plump, soft, full of stuffing. But science can't turn you inanimate. But, thanks to the mutation in my skin that left me fuzzy instead of scaly, we can get close. Quite a bit of editing and a bit of science I don't understand, make it possible. I had to have multiple sessions where they removed grafts to try and figure out the right combinations to create a similar mutation for a bird. But they got it down to this: First, her feathers will shorten, but fuzz up to be a bit floofy. Second, we will turn her body's fat production into cells that have large air pockets, simulating stuffing. She will have to gain so much, girth. Weight won't really change. This will also help immobilize her so she matches being more plush. To break the news, we found an adorable mini pigeon plushie, and at what was supposed to be her last appointment, we gave it to her. "Oh my god! She's adorable!" Pigeon coo'd at me. "She's you in a few years girl!" Her face froze, and then it hit her hard. It's so worth all the work to hear all the happy chirps!
T&R: Therapy Together (Hydra HRT) If you've been reading anything about species HRT you'll know there are plenty of dragons and adjacent chosen species. But rare few decide to not only change species; but to use the opportunity to work their split personality out, literally. I met T&R when I was shadowing an anesthesiologist for a plastic surgeon at another clinic. Their heads had split but not... separated, so invasive action was taken by their doctor. It was mutually nice knowing someone who not only was the same species, but had another voice in the head, so we stayed in touch as they recovered. After they recovery, they're doctor recommended more gene editing, and they just so happened to know someone in the field. So today they visited for a session, and afterward, we met up. For being split for awhile, they were still a bit out of sync. When I toured them through the backrooms of the lab, one head ducked under a pipe but didn't warn the other and smacked straight into their side. But of all the things they were learning, it was their size changes we all talked about the most of. Their necks have gotten to where they are more of the snake type, and they are very disoriented by it. I can relate, I've stretched about 4 inches everywhere in the last 2 months and it's very noticeable. I'm excited to see them next, they're progressing so fast compared to most, and have so many odd features that are coming out due to their complex genealogy and the decision to split. Essentially, I'm excited for my friend. Tasha: Fuzz I have a friend who's an artist, who we often use to help concept species. It took a while, lots of doing works for others, before long, she was the subject of her work. One day, she walked into my office looking for a way into the labs queue. Of course, we snuck her in. Tasha associated with cats the most, but not like a tiger, just a domestic long hair meow meow. What we didn't expect, was how well her body would take to that species. A bit too well. Everything seems to come in *fast* with her transition. I hadn't seen her in about three months due to our schedules not meeting up. When we did, I could barely recognize her. She had fully developed ears, paw pads, and a long, flowy, flippy tail. But one thing was missing, and REALLY missing. Not a single hair of her fur has come in yet. The skin has dyed and changed, clearly, melanin underneath is doing something. No fur though. Just her normal hair on her head. (It seems most of us don't lose it, more on that another note someday.) We hugged, had the usual pleasantries, and then the big question almost instantly. I've assured friends in their treatments time and time again, but this one is literally just a waiting game. And that's exactly what I told her. She's clearly nervous, but doing so well. I can't wait to see her face when it all comes, because, with her luck, it'll all come at once.
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Experiences in the Alterhuman Community (and Beyond) as a Fictive
It's a weird experience being a fictional character, especially dealing with fandom, the fact that your source is fictional, and interactions with people based on that--including some of the dehumanisation that's so common toward fictionfolk. I'm gonna go into that here because I need somwhere to collect my thoughts, so this might get long. I'll be talking about my experiences as a fictive, but this could very well apply to anyone who identifies as a fictional being--fictionkin, fictionlinkers, etc.
So, I see the version of me on the screen as an AU version of me, in short. I mean, I'm me, and I don't think I even looked exactly 1:1 with my canon self--so naturally, even though events line up pretty closely, I see my source as... Almost like a fanfic of my life? Like sure, that's decidedly me, and decidedly a lot of the things that happened to me and my friends, but also not me. I'm not that guy on the screen, he's what represents me.
Even though I fully believe I got here by dying in a literal past life, my source media here is absolutely fictional to me and I just... Don't look at it in really any other way. Which I guess makes sense if you put it into my perspective--what else would it be? It really is like reading a fanfic based on your life though, or reading an article about yourself in the news. A bit of a shock, a bit of "why did they include THAT?" sprinkled in here and there, a bit awkward sometimes, and it does tend to resurface bad feelings. But overall, it's not that personal to me. I'm largely fine with it existing.
On the other hand, what is shocking is that people see me as fictional. I'm a fictional introject, from a fictional source, from the perspectives of a lot of people here. But I look at my source and I go well... Yeah, that's fiction of course, but my life is an actual thing that happened to me. Realistically I know that not everyone has spiritual beliefs and not everyone even accepts fictional identities as something "real", but man is it weird to just... Have it be spun in such a way?
I'm used to being in the media, I'm used to having cameras on me and being in the public eye. I'm used to articles and stories and posts on the internet. I'm used to fans even! But this isn't your regular, run-of-the-mill experience of people wanting to know you because you're a hero. This is people who see your life and experiences as a fun story they saw in a book or on TV, coming up to you with the idea that you're their favourite character, and not... A whole entire person. It's so damn weird.
There's still that level of disrespect that comes from people who are a little parasocial with you, but it almost hits deeper here because a lot of the time, you know they're not seeing a hero or the things you've literally done in your memories. They're seeing that guy on the screen they think is cool, and while he represents you, he's not you. And they're treating you like a celebrity because of that weird fanfic version of you on the TV or in that book.
There's usually little acknowledgement of your life or experiences as "real". When you're presenting as your fictional identity around others, you tend to get put into one of a few camps:
Cool Character from Media who I love and adore and want to talk to (and will probably get fanperson excited about it). I will probably get dispraportionally upset if Character tells me to back off a bit because I don't want my blorbo to be mad at me.
Character from Media I'm in love with and will immediately start asking invasive questions to or outright flirting with. Could get real gross real quick.
Problematic Character or Guy From Problematic Media that I instantly dislike because that's so Problematic how dare you show your face. I'm reporting you for being Character, you should change your identity if you want to exist so bad.
Character from Media who is disabled/queer/mentally ill/has any soft personality trait ever and I will now be treating you like a sweet little babyboy cinnamon roll who could not hurt a fly.
Person who identifies as Character? How interesting! I'm going to really pry and question everything from your actions in-source (to get unique perspectives from Character) and question literally everything else. Because this is Science and I'll get mad if you don't tell me everything, you need to tell me everything or you're rude.
Of course there's nuance and there's absolutely times where you'll be treated as a normal person, but the above are... So damn common. I've been here for a few months and I've already had some weird stuff happen to me simply because I'm Kirishima and people feel entitled to give me cutesy nicknames or whatever. Even without knowing me or my system at all beforehand. It's just.. So different from anything I've experienced before? Being treated like a celebrity is dehumanising enough, but being treated like a character.ai bot or just generally a form of free entertainment and not a person is so perplexing to me.
There's also that if you're from a popular source, you see stuff about yourself everywhere. Posters, plushies, advertisements, posts on social media--all of it. Some of that I'm used to already, but it's kind of weird when you're mentally aware that this is all for that twisted-mirror version of yourself and not you. And if you get a little uncomfortable at some fanart showing up out of the blue, or someone making a source related joke... You're kind of just expected to brush it off. Which yeah, I get it! It's about the source, not me, but it's still just... A weird feeling. A feeling of not being allowed to be upset because it's about the source and not literal you.
I think there needs to be a line, maybe. Not saying that fictives should be putting a stop to any media or fandom ever, just.. That maybe respect toward us for being uncomfortable with fan content due to being a fictive or fictionkin should be more normalised. It should be more okay to say "hey, I'm Character, please don't joke like that" to a friend, or "don't send me fanart of this thing, I'm Character and that's weird"--which it normally is! But there does tend to be a sort of layer of "Oh, it's because you're Character. You know that's not you, right? You shouldn't be upset, you need to source separate more."--when if most other people were to set a boundary like that, it would usually be respected. Source separation can be great, but if someone hasn't separated or doesn't want to, why is it okay to still send them material they're uncomfortable with--or at least, why do people tend to argue that the fictive should "just separate from source" instead? It... Just boils down to alterhumisia toward fictionfolk, honestly. It sucks.
There's a lot of problems with basic respect toward fictionfolk of all kinds--hell, even in the alterhuman community where it's meant to be safe. I don't know if this rant is entirely coherent or not, I don't know if there's anything noteworthy to take from it--but if you do take something from it, let it be that fictionfolk want to be treated like people. Source separated, not source separated, canon divergent or compliant, hearted, linker, 'kin or 'tive--we're people. Don't let our identities change the way you instinctually treat us. Let us be openly us, and treat us as you would anyone else.
#otherkin#alterhuman experiences#otherkind#alterhuman#nonhuman#fictionkin#fictionkind#fictionfolk#fictive#fictionlinker#fictionhearted#fictionflicker#alterhumanity#terrorpunk#alterhumisia#op#tw: alterhumisia
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➠ Sukuna, the ‘shunned’ child and the demonisation and worship of ‘unwanted’ children in Japanese folklore:
[long read. trigger warning: referenced folktales and practices depict themes of infanticide, religious rituals and child exorcism, demonisation and worship of children, ableism, suicide, implied sa, and period-typical outdated social views. they are not a representation of my personal beliefs. please read with caution.]
New revelations of Sukuna’s past in Chapter 257 made me look deeper into some of the tales and customs from Japanese folklore about children deemed ‘abominable’ in the eyes of society that I had previously noted down and I decided to share as I think they could offer a better insight into Sukuna as a character and what might have inspired Akutami Gege’s depiction of him.
It would be better to start with a bit of the social background of Japanese folklore. I will use the Emishi (an ancient ethnic group of people who lived in parts of Honshū, especially in the Tōhoku region) as an example, the oral tales of whom later blended with Shintō and Buddhist religious concepts and heavily influenced Japanese folklore. It is believed that many of their tales were shaped by the region’s difficult history of natural disasters, famines, and geographic isolation. In the Tōhoku region, infanticide was sometimes used as a form of ‘birth control’ due to repeated famines. The bodies of ‘unwanted children’ were often disposed of in rivers or lakes.
Another important source of such folklore is the city of Tōno in Iwate prefecture, known particularly for Kappa, tales of which could offer a good basis for the beginning of my intended analysis.
Kappa, a green, amphibious, child-like creature with a yellow beak for a mouth and a turtle shell on its back is one of the most popular Yōkai from Japanese folklore. Some researchers say that the darker aspects of Kappa tales in Tōhoku may be an echo of the region’s tragic history of famines and the high rates of infant mortality caused by a harsh climate, natural disasters, and the tax system that was paid in rice. Similarly, many people in Tōno (which is part of the Tōhoku region) believe that tragic history is one of the origins of the stories of Kappa. The Kappa of Tōno specifically are said to be red in colour rather than green, which may allude to the Japanese word for infant - akachan, which derives from aka, the word for red. From this perspective, Kappa are creatures born out of social challenges and disasters. They may not seem all too relevant to Sukuna, but the need to mention them will come up in the later part.
Moving on, at the beginning I mentioned that ‘unwanted children’ were often disposed of in the rivers and lakes, which is also found in the Japanese creation myth. I discussed the variations of the myth in this post about Sukuna previously (you do not need to read it for the moment, but please note that it has many variations), but somehow I did not mention their first ‘inadequate’ child. According to the myth, before they had Kagutsuchi, Izanagi and Izanami had a child as a result of their first attempt at a union, but the child, known as Hiruko (‘Leech Child’), was born deformed. The mistake was attributed to a ritual error on the part of Izanami, who, as a woman, should never have spoken first (i.e. initiated the union). Considering the child inadequate for a diety, they set him adrift in a boat in hopes he would die at the sea. This myth reflects how women and children who were born ‘different’ or seen unable to serve their ‘purpose’ were treated.
Continuing from the myth, Chapter 257 made me think of the tale of Katako, in which the protagonist is born half-human and half-oni. What is Sukuna’s true nature we cannot know for certain. We know he was a human once, but we do not know enough of his past to assume if there was more to him (how and why he as a human might have come to be called the King of Curses will be explained in the later part), but the tale still has the potential to give us insight into Sukuna and his mother’s relationship. The tale has various versions with different endings, but it generally could be summarised as follows:
[A long time ago, a man encountered a man-eating ogre (from here on referred to as oni) while working in the field. He told the oni how much he loved mochi (rice cake), jokingly adding that he could even trade his wife for it. Taking his casual banter seriously, the oni treated him to mochi. The man ate his favourite food to his fill and happily went home only to find that the oni had taken his wife in exchange for the treat. The man searched everywhere and finally found his wife on the island where the oni lived. The man and his wife managed to come back home with Katako (meaning ‘Half-Child’), a child born of his wife and the oni on the island. However, Katako was always ostracised by his human peers (in another version, it is said that he had an insatiable appetite for eating humans). At ten years old, tired of being ridiculed, he asked his mother ‘to cut the oni part of him into pieces’ when he died, and then committed suicide.]
In the tale, Katako’s relationship with his mother seems to be of trust. He is cast out of society by humans and despite his mother being one as well, he does not harbour hate for her, he trusts her enough to leave his final wish upon her. We do not know much about Sukuna’s relationship with his mother, but the manner he referred to her in the last chapter makes it seem that he also harbours no hostility toward her. This tale also shows how children deemed ‘different’ were treated.
In past ages, children, being considered closer to the gods and the Other World, also played the part of intermediary between humans and the gods in Japanese society. This task of mediation between two separate worlds fell to them because they were regarded as incomplete persons (until the age of seven it was considered uncertain whether they would live or return to the Other World: a belief related to the challenges indicated at the beginning). While considered sacred beings different in nature from adults, they were at the same time looked down upon and referred to as kodomo (where ~domo has a negative/belittling connotation), gaki (hungry ghost or demon; brat), or jari (lit. gravel).
Back in the day, people referred to the killing off of ‘unwanted children’ (mabiki or ‘culling’, a common old slang for infanticide) as ‘sending a child back’, and a dead child was given a special non-Buddhist funeral. The various rituals surrounding birth and the child’s upbringing were intended, through communication with the Other World, to transform the child into an earthly being. This aspect of the ritual made me think of Sukuna’s mask and how that part of his face resembles a burn scar (note: i am aware the nature of his ‘mask’ is still not clear and whether it is really one) in some of the official illustrations. It is known that rituals of purification included fire and water magic. Exorcism of demons, aversion of disasters, and other rituals for the removal of pollution were frequent. A katashiro (paper cut in the shape of a man) symbolising the disaster would be burned or floated down the river as well. Personally, I see the possibility of Sukuna’s scar (if it really happens to be one) being from one of such rituals. At the same time, it resembles a fragment of a wooden mask used in ceremonial rituals associated with Shintoism, where it represented a ‘spirit of a head,’ which was believed to be a god in the shape of a human. In this case, it can be a remnant of such ceremonial ritual gone wrong.
Continuing, there is a term - Goryō used to refer to the spirits of those who had died violently (e.g. by murder or execution) and have become gods. It also included those who had died untimely deaths and therefore had been unable to fulfil their purpose in this world. Some notable gods such as Hachiman, Tenjin, and Tenno were once considered powerful Goryō. Great natural disasters and social unrest were attributed to them; rituals designed to appease them were performed, and a cult of such worship evolved. It was (usually) as a result of belief in Goryō that particular individuals came to be worshipped as gods. At times when public unrest threatened the social order, elements estranged or excluded from the ‘normal system/order’ were assigned the status of Goryō and worshipped as such. The cult was intended to purify and renew society. Manga has given us a similar glimpse of Sukuna’s past, where despite being feared (and despised), people were ready to serve him (and pray in his name) for their own well-being. I think Akutami intended to echo this very aspect of society through the scene.
I mentioned that children were considered closer to the gods and the Other World, but not all children were treated equally. One version of the origin of Kamadogami (additional post on the parallels between Sukuna and Kamadogami after Chapter 258) in the Tōhoku region is that he was an ‘ugly child’ from the Dragon Palace who had been killed and was thereafter worshipped at household hearths. Zashikiwarashi, who often inhabits old houses and is said to bring good fortune while he remains, is another household god in the shape of a child or, in another version, the spirit of an unwanted child who, having been killed off, became the guardian god of houses. I mentioned Hiruko at the beginning as well, who was set afloat on the boat in the sea. Despite that, he is in some Shintō shrines identified with Ebisu, the patron of fishermen and tradesmen. Their worship was for the purposes indicated in the previous abstract, to avoid their wrath. Sukuna has not been ‘killed off’ like these children were, but such worship shows us the general psyche of the public.
The ‘ugly child’ who appears in the story of the origin of Kamadogami has parallels in Yokenai, Untoku, Hyotoku, and Hanatarekozo, children who brought good fortune and prosperity to the house in return for offerings to the Watery World of kadomatsu (pine-branch gate decorations for the New Year) and firewood. But despite that, their ‘ugliness’ and names were used as an indication that these children did not belong to this world. It is important to note that socially inferior and rebellious beings were treated in the same manner (here is where the point connects to Sukuna, continued from the next part in depth). Such children were often associated with the colour red. For example, Zashikiwarashi is described as red-haired and red-faced. Kintaro, Shutendoji, and other children born in unusual circumstances (but may not have been considered an ‘ugly child’) and brought up in the mountain wilderness are also said to have had red bodies and were endowed with superhuman strength. I also mentioned that Kappa from Tōno were depicted as red. We see Sukuna often associated with the colour red, particularly, his eyes are red. I believe the above-mentioned could be the reason for that.
I indicated that socially inferior and rebellious beings were treated similarly in the previous part. The character Dō of Dōji (童子, meaning child) once meant ‘slave’, tattooed on the forehead, and was closely linked to notions of personal status. It signified one who was not a complete person and also one who had not yet been initiated, in other words, one who did not belong to the order of this world, one who was in this world but not of it. They were despised, feared, and avoided by ordinary people for their strange appearance and magical powers. In some cases they even formed separate ‘child’ villages (dōji mura), calling themselves ‘descendants of oni (demons)’. Since they played the role of demons during the rituals, they were shunned by the nobility as if they were real demons. Could this somehow connect to Sukuna’s title? I do believe there is a possibility this could have inspired his being as the King of Curses.
Personally, what we know of Sukuna and his past seems to echo these folktales and practices as the foundation of his character. He was a ‘Demon’ for being an ‘abominable’ child, but he was worshipped for this same reason as well. Whether he was born that way after eating his twin in the womb or something happened to him later in life cannot be known yet, but it is clear his ‘abominable’ appearance could have warranted the same treatment from society. It could also explain Kenjaku’s ‘fascination’ with him as a being. We do not know what relationship they had or how exactly they came to know each other, but there is clearly a reason why a being such as Sukuna would ‘work’ with them. We do not know much about Kenjaku either, but it could be possible that they (Kenjaku) once were either (1) one of those ‘priests’ who performed exorcism to purify ‘demon’ children or (2) someone who offered such children refuge (perhaps and more likely, for their own personal gain). It would also relate to the variations of Ryomen Sukuna’s story that inspired Akutami Gege.
[Disclaimer: This post does not intend to demonise Shintoism or Buddhism, but to tell folklore and practices for analytical purposes. Additionally, English is not my native language and this is only a personal interpretation as just another reader that I am sharing in case someone finds it interesting or can use the information for better analysis.]
#oh. ha. guess who zoned out and ended up with this huge info dump.#if anyone actually reads this i will be shocked.#this is probably the last one on sukuna. (watch me change my mind when something new is revealed next chapterㅋㅎ)#jjk#sukuna#jujutsu kaisen#ryomen sukuna#jjk spoilers#jjk analysis#jjk meta#ryoumen sukuna#jjk sukuna#sukuna ryomen#(which one is the actually used tagㅋㅎ)
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rdj the (whitewashed) electric boogaloo
This is a reminder to everyone who's excited about RDJ's casting as Doctor Doom that this casting is whitewashing. Victor Von Doom is a Romani character and has been a Romani character since his introduction in the 1960s. (Fantastic Four Annual #2 [1964]) Not only that, but his Roma identity and the persecution he and his family faced due to it is integral to his character, it is what forms his identity. (Books of Doom by Ed Brubaker) Even if on the off chance this casting is meant to not be Victor but instead be some variant of Tony or whomever else becoming Doctor Doom, it is damaging to the character to rob him of that important cultural background. Doctor Doom does not exist without that history. Fans have been pushing hard to cast Doom as a Romani actor for years, especially since the MCU has whitewashed other Romani characters. (Wanda, Pietro, etc) This casting is not a celebration moment, it's fucking heartbreaking that the MCU repeatedly ignores the important and nuanced cultural backstories of characters.
I know I can't change anybody's mind on whether or not you want to be excited about RDJ's return to the MCU. But I do think at the very least you should be mad that the MCU is baiting us all and destroying nuanced and interesting characters for the sake of self-referential easter eggs and nostalgia bait. Because that's what it is. Feel how you'd like to feel about RDJ's return, but personally, this is soul-sucking. I had such a deep love for the MCU as a teenager, it was obviously something incredibly formative to me, especially Tony Stark. This isn't recreating what I fell in love with the MCU for. This is turning a well-planned and artistic storyline of adaptations into cheap cash grabs and fan service. Because, I think we're past the point of being able to call the MCU an adaptation of anything. They can use existing characters' names and powers, but to say they're being properly adapted is laughable.
This is not an adaptation of Doctor Doom. This is RDJ the Electric Boogaloo because Marvel's fear of losing the interest of dedicated MCU fans overrides their willingness to tell stories that are genuine to the characters. I don't know what there is to be excited about that. The MCU has lost its authenticity and aside from a few projects, feels heartless. Every movie is a copy of a copy. This announcement isn't something celebratory, it feels like a death knell of a cinematic universe that's so desperate to cling to relevancy it's resorting to nostalgia for a character/actor who hasn't even been dead for a decade. We're not getting anything new, we're just rinsing and repeating the same song and dance.
I get it. I love Tony Stark, his death destroyed me and I to this day, rue the ending he got in Endgame. It misunderstood his arc and it robbed him of a satisfying conclusion. But the solution to that isn't dragging the corpse out of the grave five years later to whitewash an existing character with rich and interesting nuance, just to forcibly tie his existence in the MCU to Tony. Whether he is a variant or not. Why would you want someone else's fave's legacy to be destroyed simply so your fave's legacy can go on? Hell, if we were really all so hellbent on the return of RDJ and/or Tony to the MCU, we have the multiverse for a reason. There were other ways to do it that didn't whitewash and ruin someone else. This just. Isn't something to be happy about.
#... we will not be addressing that i'm a dead blog#no one say a WORD about my inactivity for 4 years this isn't about that /lh#also if anyone tries to get smart about “romani isn't a race” i don't care and you can shut up.#it's an ethnic and cultural identity. and it should be portrayed correctly.#ESPECIALLY for a character like *victor von doom* of all people. like it is fundamental to him.#i would've included panels of the comics mentioned but most of them use the g-slur and i don't wish to encourage that here#like listen i don't think you need to be a comics fan to be an mcu fan. they're so divorced from each other atp#nor do i think the mcu owes complete comic accuracy. but i do think you should at *least* care when characters are whitewashed.#look. i really don't want this to be a debate on if rdj's return is good or not#i've been frankly baffled at how many old mutuals are excited but. whatever if you want him back i get it.#but it shouldn't be like this. not at the expense of a different character.#this whole thing made me realize i'm *far* more jaded and turned off to the mcu than most of you guys are.#which is fair you can still be an mcu fan. if it brings you joy i'm so happy for you#but how does this like. bring joy i don't get it.#this is soulless. it's uninspired. it's done purely for shock value.#i occasionally get asks to this blog about why i left and asking me to come back#and i get it. i *want* to come back.#but i don't *care* about the mcu anymore. this is not the franchise i fell in love with.#i don't recognize what once meant everything to me.#winteriron will always hold a special place in my heart (as will tony stark)#but like. i just don't have love for it. and it sucks that this bullshit from marvel actively kills the love i had.#this sours tony stark to me. i'm sorry but it does. because was it really worth this? is this what his legacy has become?#this does cheapen his legacy btw. like without question. it turns him into a cheap cameo reference. heart of the mcu my ass.#my fandom circles have *massively* changed#i'm now entirely surrounded by comics fans bc my primary fandom is dc comics. that's what i'm up to these days#and the difference was actually baffling to me. everyone i follow now is *pissed* about this. comics twitter is so mad.#and then i see ppl on here excited and i'm just genuinely surprised this is something you want. i don't get it.#i don't say that to be rude. i just don't get it. how is *this* actually something people *want*.#do i still care about marvel? eh.#i like winter soldier comics and i could give a comprehensive rec list. and i read some other characters i deeply enjoy.
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On today's edition of TLT references I can't believe I missed the first time:
#the locked tomb#htn#abhorsenkatiel reads htn#unsurprisingly doing live blogs of my htn reread quickly became odious enough to make me actually stop reading for months#but ianthe calling harrow lil brudder was too good not to share#honestly shocked that i havent encountered anyone mentioning it yet#fav tlt reference
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"are people not into that?" i ask, after posting my weird niche shit to the internet, despite knowing it to be weird niche shit.
#jsyk sylkius or anything adjacent to it does not “Do Numbers” in any way and i observed this some time ago#i assume that's the “rival ships” element at work but who knows really#that sort of thing is like femslash in that everyone approves of it but nobody actually reads or writes it#but who would have thought sylvie beating loki with a stick would not bring in droves of readers???! shocking twist there!#& i don't consider sifki a rarepair but my rarepair standards are VERY strict like if there's >5 fics a pairing is basically mainstream#chasing popularity would annoy me though & i just don't have the mental spoons to try writing stuff i wouldn't personally read#yeah i *could* put my blorbos to work in a coffee shop but what cost to my own enjoyment levels? AT WHAT COST FANGELA???#you can't please everyone so you may as well just please yourself and if anyone else likes it you've found some fellow freaks so yay#i don't mean please yourself in a wanking sense. though feel free to do that too it probably counts as a cardio workout idk.#BUT ANYWAY#fic related#ps i am v glad there's the “warning: loki” tag because i think/hope it acts as a filter for 'he did nothing wrong in his life ever' types#who are Valid & etc obviously but i write my morally grey characters to be morally grey and the tag might help avoid conflict#though tbh i write almost every character to be morally grey in some way so i can't claim to have left my comfort zone here#(i'm not joking when i say the 1987-89 run of Dr Who shaped my entire future fannish life from a young and apparently v impressionable age)
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if anyone’s got really good posts about the way Dungeon Meshi handles gastronomy and/or the impact it’s had on people’s irl relationships with food, could you send em my way? please and thank
#roadie rambles#dungeon meshi#I ADORE reading posts like the one I just rb’d#I have a degree in literature and food studies so it’s insanely fascinating to me to read about dunmeshi’s frameworks#and the way its story has inspired people to get into cooking or at the very least be more mindful about what they eat#and that’s not even touching on the other bigger topics like cultural exchange; nostalgia and food sovereignty#it makes me wish I was still in school (shocking I know!) bc I just /know/ at least one of my classes would’ve dived into it#just imagining sitting in a lecture hall with a picture of senshi on the screen drives me mad#(if anyone has actually experienced that know that I’m SO JEALOUS OF YOU 😭)#dungeon meshi gastronomy
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Sorry if this is an invasive question, but have you read any specific fics and/or would be comfortable sharing which?
I don’t have an ao3 account so I don’t have a way to keep track of what I have read. But it’s really not that many. Probably like 10-15 in total.
Not really the person to ask for refs as ive barely read any ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
#I pretty much only read em if it was posted by someone I’m following on tumblr#it’s gotta be peer reviewed by either someone recommending it or from someone I already trust has taste#I just don’t have the time or energy to read stuff at random#that doesn’t mean you can’t send me a suggestion but I can’t promise that I’ll get to it#also you guys can message me my dms should be open#if you’d rather do that#I am terrible at responding tho SORRY…#anyway.. if you want to make a rec but are worried about the content#I’ve been online since I was 4 there’s not much out there that could shock me at this point tbh#<- actually I might as well mention?? if anyone. hasn’t bothered to check my main yet. im 23.#alright who is still reading this far uhhh I need to say something uhhhhhhh what can I say#quick say something#UHHHH#[redacted]#non voice post#asks#ask
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Hi!! If you’re willing to talk about it/up for it I’d love to hear more about the slavophobia BioWare has in relation to their dwarves. No pressure at all of course bc I’m sure it’s taxing, I’ve just not seen this before and would love a resource to reblog about it if that’s okay. Thank you love your blog ❤️
hello! im actually glad you asked, i'll try to be as coherent as possible 😅 and no u i love yr blog!!
i'd like to preface by saying i don't think bioware invented anti-slavic sentiment in games or in general and isn't the only company, game or otherwise, perpetuating it. it's found all over the western world, most notably in western europe (where we're still regarded as 2nd class citizens, pairs really well with imperialism towards people outside of europe imo), but it also gained a significant boost thanks to the red scare in usa in particular (and continues to thrive thanks to the absolute chokehold mediocre american media keeps everything else in the world in).
im also no social sciences expert, but i do have first-hand experience on the short end of the stick and a couple of books in my have read list so let's say im qualified to rant on 🤭 it turned out quite lengthy so i've hidden it under the cut below!
when it comes to bioware, the first hurdle is already at their utterly haphazard character naming policy. there's a considerable number of dwarves who bear names that range from mockingly slavic-esque to full-blooded backwater serbian, now in yr local fantasy rpg! examples:
gorim saelac. while i do appreciate they tried to give a dwarf a mountain-y name (gora is basically any kind of steep pile of rocks with trees and dew and wildlife over it), "gorim" is how you would say "i am burning" in multiple slavic languages. this is one of the rare ones that are not hurtful and are hilarious instead (and tbh naming him goran, which is what i assumed they were going for, would probably be more ridiculous in the long run. for example i still can't take jowan seriously despite my love for the mage origin bc someone really yassified jovan and thought nobody would notice. wrong!)
lucjan and myaja. these two (along with maybe wojech "we couldn't spell wojciech" ivo) are the classic example of non-slavs butchering the hell out of slavic names bc it suits them better, which is also something commonly experienced by all non-western cultures and communities and a worldwide sign of disrespect. the in-game pronunciation during the provings gave me a physical rash. "myaja" in particular is still in my top 5 wtf moments in origins bc 1) what kind of stroke induced spelling is that 2) it reminds me of kids speaking dialect A mocking kids' dialects B by adding y sounds (which is what set the dialects apart in the first place) at unnatural spots and 3) maja /ma-ya/ would've sufficed perfectly for ethnic coding if that was the sole purpose of her character. do better! sure it was 2009 but from the little i happen to know about the world beyond the atlantic, you're just bound to run into someone of slavic descent in alberta (maybe not exactly polish but anyone would give you a closer phonetics match than... this). it's kind of amusing how 3 of bioware's founders have very slavic surnames and this keeps happening.
bogdan vasca. we don't know anything about him apart from the fact bianca davri was forced into a marriage with him and that his very dwarven parents considered him to be 'a gift from the god' (which is what his name means. theodore would be an equivalent) when naming him. the same clan of dwarves that preserved castes topside (which is why the marriage was arranged) and thus are likely to either believe in the stone (that they do not worship as a god) or nothing, certainly not a very human god with a very human, quite possibly mage (a completely alien concept from common dwarven pov) prophetess and a very human doctrine of considering anyone not human as lesser. the jokes are writing themselves at this point.
all of this naming business falls more into petty territory rather than being outright offensive, but it does bring us to the more serious manifestation — typecasting. the western media simply cannot fathom slavic people in roles that are not violent, volatile (i.e. berserkers, though there are other influences in there), constantly infighting and better off killing e/o (i.e. the diamond quarter, the merchants' guild, the carta) and relating back to thievery, addictive abusable substances and trafficking (i.e. the carta, but also official channels of lyrium supply from orzammar to the rest of thedas). as a slavic woman, it was exceptionally painful to see bioware join virtually everyone else in depicting us as women whose major purpose seems to be to engage in prostitution and surrogacy lite (i.e. noble hunters, most evident in beraht's grooming of rica brosca into the role of one). while these practices are tied to societies of woman-hating — and orzammar, if not all of thedas very much is one — i just take incredible offence in someone naming them integral (dwarven birth rates and the blight anyone?? i hated every moment of that) for a society that's previously been coded with people like myself in mind. of course im going to relate to how someone who looks like me is treated, that's the very purpose of casting. doesn't help bioware's cause that the bulk of npc's with slavic names tend to be lower-caste or castless - with exceptions such as some minor noble houses (houses ivo and harrowmont, possibly meino too) and branka (who's again smith-born and a whole villain).
by only allowing us to fulfill such roles, we are effectively barred from actually engaging storytelling to spend our eternity on the writers' back-burner. hell, even the witcher has been sanitized for the western eye (despite literally being made in poland) and i am yet to find a piece of modern media that doesn't reduce baba yaga to a quirky chicken-legged aesthetic (while also forgetting she's specific to the eastern slavic people). not to mention that if tevinter and par vollen are truly inspired by byzantine and the ottoman empire respectively, guess which mfs were both their vasals. now guess who built the deep roads and guess what tevene mages need to fuel their magic. if dwarves have already been declared the slavs of thedas, let's at least give them/us some space to be such.
#og#txt#hall of heroes#shoutydwarf#the shaperate#memories: dwarva#diamondback#gee what a boatload of blog tags#and wow would you look at that! kal actually answering her asks!! shocking#thank you so much though! i wasn't really expecting anyone to ask about it or care so i hope i didn't sound too unhinged#+ also the reason why i say surrogacy lite is bc while noble hunters do stay with their children#the child also needs to be of the male sex like his noble caste father is in order for the whole caste ascension thing to be viable#(enter zerlinda)#so whether noble hunters' sons are really their own children and not argued to 'belong' to their fathers is food for thought#and i've seen and read wayyy too much not to count it as surrogacy (esp due to the fact they wouldn't be doing it#if there were other ways to escape unfavourable casteless life conditions that are not dying or leaving topside)
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don't think I'll ever be over how the media completely lambasted jeremy corbyn and misrepresented him in every possible way. the man was saying that the nhs needed to be properly funded and the media was acting like he was sacrificing children. he appealed to young people and this support got treated like a cult or like a hysterical ignorant movement. bc how dare young people not want to be in insane student debt and unable to afford a home. remember when they photoshopped him to look more russian and soviet? absolutely crazy shit but with all that he still won a higher percentage of the vote than starmer
#and starmer got such an easy time of it in the media. and they'll still be like 'corbyn was a failure' lmao.#and liberals will act like youre crazy if you call the media biased. will pure act like youre some conspiracy theorist#i was there i saw and heard the bbc's reporting and it was the least impartial thing i'd ever watched in my life#am reading an article about how the word populist just gets used against anybody the 'elite' doesn't like#and it's true. and it makes it harder to tackle actual fascists and racists like trump and farage bc they get lumped in with people like#sanders and corbyn. and then by this association with populism sanders and corbyn are tainted#as a 16 year old i said to a friend 'i don't get why populism is so bad if its the rule of the people'#and it's a little more complex than that but i saw how the media/establishment was using this word to discredit people w/out having any#actual argument. and i was right.#anyway jeremy corbyn 🌹 best pm the uk never had#like ppl were shocked that there was such a strong base of support for him. and i didn't realise it at the time but i think it was shock#that particular groups were so invested in politics. and that they had the AUDACITY to support anyone who wasn't a centre right liberal#tony blair wrote that populism is a threat to democracy. and like...i would laugh if that didn't piss me off so much#hand yourself into the hague tony and stop lecturing people because they don't support your neoliberal nightmare anymore
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i really love dc x dp tbh but i hate how so many fics end up making the batfam dumb as shit. and i don't mean in a "loveable goof" kind of way but in a genuine "these people don't have the skills or intelligence to be heroes" kind of way. which is just antithetical to their entire thing
sometimes it's because the writer just genuinely doesn't know anything about the batfam or what they've been through so they come across as idiots. and other times it's because the writer is writing op ghost king danny or just generally op danny and they genuinely think he could outsmart or beat them. more often than not, it's a combination of the two.
it's just so sad. like not only is it disrespectul to the batfam, essentially getting rid of all the skills and experience they have just to prop up danny, but it also makes things a lot more boring imo. don't get me wrong, i don't mind the occasional "main character is super op" kind of story, but it's boring when like 70% of fics are like that and there's no real challenge or obstacle for him. part of why the show danny phantom was so fun was that it was exciting and chair gripping to see danny have to deal with his new ghost powers, figuring out how to deal with ghost attacks or vlad, and dealing with school and his parents on top of that.
but often, dc x dp fics just,, get rid of any challenge for him. sure batman is a skilled detective but danny will always be able to trick him! sure cass has been trained since birth to read people's body language but this random ghost teen knows how to conceal and control everything!! yeah damian has also been trained since birth to fight and kill but this random guy from the midwest who just started fighting in his teens is so much better!!! like, alright. it's fun every now and then but it sucks when so much of the dc x dp content is just people acting like the batfam are the worst vigilantes/detectives in the world.
and honestly i still feel this way even with the ghost king danny fics because how? he's never had to deal with people obsessively reading his body language or reading between the lines. he's had to deal with hiding stuff sure but his parents aren't the most observant people - their whole deal was being neglectful. even as a ghost king, why would he know how to outsmart, take advantage of, or beat the batfam in any capacity when he would still mostly deal with ghosts. it's a completely different skill set here - one that he likely wouldn't be prepared for. it'd be fine if they at least attempted to explain why danny would have those skills (like league danny aus) but most of them don't.
and i'm not saying danny couldn't do it at all, especially if it's a ghost king au, but i'm just tired of seeing the batfam constantly downplayed in these fics Just to make danny look better, smarter, stronger, etc. ik most people in the fandom are just danny fans but it really shows with how they treat, characterize, and shit on the dc characters just to prop danny up. it also serves to occasionally make danny look like an asshole when he intentionally messes with them and basically commits psychological torture for a goof.
#man...#i Do like this crossover but i completely understand why so many dc fans hate it#the oocness the fanon the constantly making these skilled trained characters fumble around and get outsmarted by Some Guy#ghost king danny isn't even canon to dp! which isnt a bad thing by any means ik the dp fandom goes crazy for fanon#and generally speaking the fanon Is a lot more fun and engaging than dp's canon#but as a dc fan its insane to watch#i want to engage more with dc x dp content so badly like this crossover is really interesting to me#but so much of it is just 'the bat.fam are actually fucking useless and my blorbo is so much better :)))'#it's almost like they dont even like the bat.fam!!! they keep saying they just dont know/understand them#but it fully feels like they straight up dont like the dc characters#it definitely comes across as 'hey this is a fun world to put danny in lets do that while also shitting on it and all of the characters'#'lol bruce is so stupid this random teen can outsmart him and he can lie to cass and he can beat dick in a physical fight lol'#there's a point where it stops feeling like indulgent op blorbo and more like insulting anyone who isn't danny#<thats actually exactly what it is and its insane to me like why even like crossovers if you dont want to engage with anyone but danny#how can you say you like them when you outright refuse to know them or respect them?#and obviously im using 'you' in a vague way im not specifically calling anyone out#ik there are people in the fandom who are genuinely fans of both and Do know and respect the dc characters#but so far its very few and far between which is just such a fandom culture shock for me#like in most fandoms im able to read a lot of fics and only occasionally think 'thats not right'#but with this one its the other way around - im constantly going 'they wouldnt say/do that at all why does the op think that?'#like 9 out of 10 fics im like 'oh yeah this person has never read a comic in their life'#i can immediately tell when someone has only read the webtoon its extremely obvious unfortunately#maybe i should make a dc masterlist for dp fans... like here you can write about them again After you do your homework ajdhgl
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