#if I think about all the fun they had in Finland it WILL make me cry

[stars-hockey]

Damn, I’ve missed it here 🥹

[milaisreading]

Can you do something for Hetalia Valentine's Day? The Axis and Allies are arguing with each other about being y/n's Valentine's date. While they are arguing Sealand goes to y/n's house with flowers on his hands and he is wearing a cute suit. When y/n opened the door Sealand asked y/n to be his Valentine date. Y/n found him so cute and she agreed. How would the Axis and Allies going to react after seeing this?

🌱🩷: Hii! Thank u for the request and happy Valentine's Day! Hope u like this! I had a lot of fun while writing!

Warning: Reader uses she/her. Requests are open!

🌍Hetalia belongs to Hidekaz Himaruya🌏

"Achoo!" (Y/n) let out a loud sneeze, causing Finland and Denmark to look at her in surprise.

"Are you alright?" Finland wondered as he handed her a tissue.

"Did you get sick or something?" Denmark chimed in as he checked her temperature, which was normal as he could conclude.

"I am fine. I just think someone is gossiping about me, you know." She joked as the two looked at her in confusion.

"Weird."

"Yeah. Who would gossip about you?"

The country shrugged her shoulders, unsure what to answer them back.

'I just hope it's not Belarus scheming something! I already said I have no interest in Russia!' (Y/n) thought in fear, but tried to brush that image out of her head.

"I dunno. By the way, I am off to meet up with Belgium and her brothers. Have fun staying at home."

"Stay safe!"

"Call us if you need anything!"

Before she could answer back, there was a knock on the door and (Y/n) went to open it.

"Yes? Huh?" She stopped while looking down at a bouquet with red roses while Sealand was grinning up at her.

"Happy Valentine's Day! Please be my Valentine!"

"Huh... Sealand..." She muttered in confusion as the boy stared at her.

Meanwhile, the country was partially right with her assumptions. Eight countries were talking about (Y/n), just not in the way she expected it to be.

"You?! What makes you think you are compatible for (Y/n)?!" America yelled, pointing at Russia. The two countries were never on good terms ever since the Cold War started, now with Valentine's Day being right around the corner, and both going after the same country things got much more tense.

"And I don't see what makes you think we are not. (C/n) and I do share some history with each other. Meanwhile, you are just a little kid compared to me. Why would she want you?" Russia laughed as America got into his face.

"And you creep her out! Weren't you the reason she isolated herself to begin with?! Also, my present is way better!"

Meanwhile, Germany was glaring at Italy, who was fawning over the present he had prepared for (Y/n), which was a painting he painted for her.

"Ve~ I am sure mia bella will love this! I can't wait for her saying yes to being my Valentine-"

"Hold up, Italy! Who said she will agree to be you Valentine! I have a gift for her as well." Germany interrupted the Italian, who frowned at his words.

"Because my present is just better. And besides, I am the one who is more of a passionate person than you are." Italy giggled as he saw Germany's face turn red in anger.

"That means nothing! My gift is just as good!"

"I have to disappoint you on the last part, mon ami Italy." France laughed as he held England back from chocking him.

"After all, I am the country of romance and love. She will definitely pick me." France boasted as the German and Italian glared at the man.

"You?! You pervert have absolutely no chance! Didn't you scare (Y/n) the last time you saw each other!"

"That was months ago!" France said with a red face.

"And besides, she would rather have a gentleman, like me."

The four started arguing among each other as Japan and China looked at them with unamused expressions.

"They are so loud, aiyah! Stupid Westerners." China exclaimed as he covered up his ears. Japan silently nodded his head.

"And this whole argument is useless as well. (Y/n) will definitely pick me. I always cook her good meals."

Now this was something Japan wouldn't stay silent on as he sent the older nation a glare.

"You? Aren't you too old for this? Besides, (Y/n) likes me more than you. We have a lot of common interests as well."

"You?! Don't make laugh, Japan! You can barely look her in the eyes, let alone confess anything! I will be her Valentine!"

"Dream on." The two Asian countries were about to start arguing as well, but got interrupted by Sealand walking into the living room, looking at all of them in confusion.

"Why are you old people arguing now?" The countries tensed up and looked back at the micronation, who was holding a box with some sweets inside.

"Nothing a kid like you should know about." Russia smiled, causing Sealand to shiver in fright.

"Stop scaring him. He is still a kid." Germany warned as Italy hid behind him. Sealand pouted at that when England spoke up.

"What did you need? You usually only come to me when you need something."

The micronation looked back at the former empire as the rest looked between them.

"Nothing much. Just wanted to say that France's idea on how to woo someone over worked. I just had to act cute, and got a Valentine and sweets from her." The other countries stared at him in confusion as France laughed.

"Well of course it will work when you listen to me! So, your little lady friend likes you back?"

"Hold up! Since when do you have a crush?" England questioned as America and China chimed in.

"We could have totally helped you out, dude!"

"Besides, I am the oldest around here. If anyone knows how to treat a woman, that would be me." Que Japan rolling his eyes at China.

"Nah. I was fine like this. And Ms. (C/n) didn't say directly she likes me back, but she gave me sweets and said the flowers were nice." Sealand said as the countries froze in their spots.

"(Y/n)... you asked her out?" Italy asked as his face got pale.

"Yup! In a few years she might agree to be my Valentine for real! But for now, the sweets she gave me will do.' Sealand cheered as he left the room.

Immediately after he left, Japan took his phone out to call (Y/n), which was an action that didn't go unnoticed by Italy, China, and America.

"Hey! Put her on speaker!"

"She is making a huge mistake! She can't wait for Sealand to grow up God knows when!"

"Ve~ I am a way better pick!"

Meanwhile, Russia, Germany, and England were glaring daggers at France, who was both mad and frightened.

"I will give you 10 seconds, da?"

"You are too kind, I am giving him 5 seconds."

"Both of you gits are wrong! Kill him now!"

"Wait! I had no idea who he liked!"

Meanwhile, with (Y/n)....

Belgium pouted as she declined Japan's call for the 5th time while Luxembourg looked at her in amusement.

"You know, she will find out what you did, big sis."

"I am fine with her knowing. As long as her and Netherlands get together, I am saying this was a worth sacrifice."

The two siblings looked back at the said 2 countries. One looked like struggling to say coherent sentences, while the other one had his usual stoic look.

"It doesn't look all too well." Luxembourg chuckled as Belgium sighed in frustration.

"Don't worry! I am sure big brother will catch on to it and be the perfect gentleman! He even bought her hot chocolate." Belgium smiled as the two silently looked at (Y/n) and Netherlands. The girl's face was a dark shade of red as Netherlands stared at her intensely.

"You know...."

Luxembourg and Belgium held their breaths as the oldest spoke up.

"That hot chocolate costed me around 4 euros. Please pay it back when you can."

The two watched in disbelief as he said that and (Y/n) started to scramble for her wallet.

"O-oh! Sure, no worries!"

"Is he nuts?!" Belgium silently yelled as Luxembourg stared at his brother in annoyance.

"Money rules the world for him..."

[yawujin]

hiiiiiiiiiii

since it's almost december that got me thinking

my home country sometimes has inches of snow and my mother told me during her college years sometimes they had to shut down school becouse students could not leave their houses........so......

Do you have any headcanons for Russia, Canada, Norway, Denmark and Finland getting snowed in with their partner (assuming they live together with reader or that their visiting) like what would they do to pass the time? hot milk? cuddling under a thick blanket🤭

love your blog and hope you have a happy december!!!!! 💙💙💙

{ request } snowed in with the hetalia men ❄️

type | snowed in trope , cute , lighthearted , platonic relationship , romantic relationship , scenario format , imagine format , they/them pronouns used

author's note* getting this posted before december is over !! sorry that it took so long anon...hope this month treated you well, and if it didn't─i hope this makes it just a little bit better!

russia/ivan braginski ♡

he is quite used to the heavy snow, so this type of weather doesn't bother him in the slightest

he'll invite them to watch the snowfall outside as he rests his elbow on the windowsill, chin in his hand

he's quietly reminiscing about all those times he spent running around in snowy forests and sliding across icy, frozen over lakes as child (not without falling down a couple of times, of course)

it'll take a while for this snow to melt anyway...why not get comfortable next to him and listen to all the bittersweet recollections of his childhood memories?

canada/matthieu williams ♡

being snowed in leaves you with a lot of time on your hands

canada takes this as an opportunity to make some mini pancakes, cover them with warm maple syrup and serve it with hot cocoa

the food is good and helps warm up their bodies...but it leaves the two feeling punchy

canada (shyly) makes an offer to share a blanket while sitting on the sofa together

their shared bodyheat makes it hard to resist sleep; soon, the two of them drift off while the snow starts falling again outside

(taking a nap together can be considered a date!!! >_<)

norway/lukas bondevik ♡

he does what he can to pass the time, doing what he usually does on a day to day basis

reading magazines , books and, random articles he found on the internet

norway feels like a lifetime will pass before the two can step outside again

they offer to do something he doesn't regularly do; play a board game

feeling this unusual sense of listlessness due to spending a full afternoon indoors, norway becomes determined to win a round in this board game

(not so) surprisingl, he finds it fun─and time flies when you're having fun

denmark/matthias køhler ♡

he finds himself pacing around their house, looking for something, anything, to do!

he snacks out of boredom sometimes, but since it's so cold out, he'd prefer to eat something hot

even eating has become boring for him

denmark goes to them for something to do, asking silly questions to help pass the time

feeling bold, matthias asks them for a kiss

...and like the weather outside, once it starts, it's hard to stop

a simple kiss turns into the two making out. (that's one way to kill time 🫣)

finland/timo väinämöinen ♡

being snowed in with finland can be kind of fun

he gets a little a worried in the beginning, expressing his concerns on how long the weather will last and how it will affect the food supply

that is, until he remembers he can hunt and he can handle snowy climates (no matter how harsh they may be)

he's a natural born storyteller, making up things in his head in an instant

sometimes, he'll tell them a story that sounds so fake but then reveal that it really happened

this skill of his takes both of their minds off of the fact that they are snowed in

he kindly gives them his winter coat to wear as he recalls the time he had to become santa claus one year during christmas

[nullnvoid911]

Happy new year!

As 2024 draws to a close, I thought it'd be fun to show some fun statistics about the thousands of posts I've made this year!

Here are the final totals:

Posts cited: 2436/5187 (46.9%)

Total followers: 524 (Thank you!)

#needs-attribution: 265 | #needs-more-info: 48

Posts still queued: 967 (how do I do this to myself...?)

Keep reading for more fun details!

Who's shown up on this blog?

Every cited post has been assigned tags based on their contents, using an auto-tagging system I built a while back. It's helpful if you want to see other posts of the same country, agency, etc. - but it's also great at finding stats like...

Countries

This blog has been quite the world tour! I've mentioned a staggering 58 countries in my posts. But by country, who have I posted about the most?

The top 5: Germany (491), Russia (369), France (321), USA (197), and Ukraine (131).

But enough about me - what did you all think of my posts? This next map is per capita, meaning the average number of notes each country's post got. (Countries with less than 5 posts are set to 0, and my reblogs are excluded.)

A surprising twist - Bulgaria takes top spot with 19.4 notes per capita! While their limited number of posts reveals a flaw in this measurement, the posts that are there really hit it off with the masked men lovers:

If you're curious, the runners up are Finland (14.3), Kosovo (14.1), Serbia (13.4), and France (13.0).

As an aside, I'd like to give a special shout out to the Czech Republic for stumping me the most when trying to cite posts from them. Where do you post your police photos?!?

Agencies

Okay, but which specific units have shown up the most this year?

Just pretend CBRN and K9 are units :)

I guess it's not surprising, but I forgot how much I posted about Germany's SEK! Then, Russian (ОМОН) and French (GIGN, RAID) agencies aren't too far behind.

And what did you think?

French agencies drift to the top. I know some of you reading this really like GIGN, so it makes a ton of sense! PI2G simply ranks first because of their limited number of posts:

But GIGN (and GIPN, FIPN, RAID, CDI, whatever...) also did respectably in the rankings:

GSG-9 also beats the more regional SEK in terms of notes per capita. They might be cooler, but way too many posts claim photos of SEK officers to be GSG-9!!

Dates

Every cited post comes with a date. But when did things happen the most on my blog? (Approximate dates, e.g. "<2014", are excluded.)

My earliest post is from July 20, 2001, during the G8 summit protests in Genoa:

And my latest post was December 26, 2024 - just a few days ago! A Swedish police officer searches for parachuters:

Some hotspots also arise in the graph. My most posted dates are:

January 31, 2021 (22 posts) and January 23, 2021 (19 posts) - Riot police during Alexei Navalny protests around Russia.

March 30, 2023 (19 posts) - German riot police exercise in Uelzen and Esterholz.

November 18, 2015 (17 posts) - French national police apartment raid in Saint Denis aimed at capturing Abdelhamid Abaaoud.

February 18, 2022 (14 posts) - Canadian riot police during COVID-19 protests in Ottawa.

Closing thoughts

To end off, I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who's followed this blog since I started it in May. I never thought I would sink this much time into collecting and sourcing images, building citation tools from scratch, finding VPNs, uncovering lost media... but here we are.

I read every note, so your comments, reposts, and deranged tags make the process all worth it :)

Whoever you are, wherever you come from, and whatever reason you follow my blog, thank you for sticking around. I hope you had a great 2024, and here's to a properly cited 2025!

-null

[omppupiiras]

why think about work stuff at work when you can think about one Jere Pöyhönen all day instead and get paid for it - so here's my rambly thoughts about what has been happening lately 🫡 but tl;dr: i'm not going anywhere

Firstly, it has been a bit tiring being a Käärijä fan lately, because it's been one thing after another. Being his fan has been such a fun experience for so long that it's a bit jarring how many times shit can hit the fan, so to speak. So I understand if it gets to be too much for people, and I think it's totally fair to take a step back from something if it no longer brings you joy. In fact that is a very healthy thing to do, haha.

But to me, he hasn't done anything terrible or unforgivable. My feelings have ranged from being annoyed to disappointed, but I was never really angry about any of it. I have vented a lot because he's definitely not above my criticism, but I only criticise him because I still care. I don't think he's suddenly changed or become a terrible person.

The way he went about OF was very disappointing to me, but I also always thought that he didn't make me pay for it, I chose to do that. I find it nasty how willing he was to ask for that much money for so little in return with 0 transparency, but now I definitely know better than to give him my money for his plain ass pics lol

And as for the nf/ts, I barely knew what those were before this whole mess and I'm not sure if I fully grasp it even now, but obviously I wish they wouldn't have messed with them. Not disclosing them with the raffle was a bad look for sure. They probably got sold a nice deal and they did it with all the best intentions, or maybe they didn't do enough research, or they just didn't care.. but I hope hope hope they heard enough criticism that they know better than to do it again.

I understand that some people don't like them doing paywalled content, but personally I would have happily paid for the euro-tour pass thing had it been on some other site. Jere made us very aware that the european tour last year wasn't profitable, so I think something like this COULD have been a cool thing to help them make money while giving fans who could pay for it some extra content. I doubt Käärijä would keep touring outside of Finland if they couldn't figure out how to make it profitable. Jere certainly didn't seem to think doing it for exposure made sense.

I'm not sure I have much to say about last night's drama, so to speak. At first him joking about having no money felt in bad taste to me, but after watching a video of it, I didn't think it was that serious. However I can see how him joking about having no money in front of his fans who have given him so much of theirs can come across icky, but humor is very subjective.

So yeah. I'm not going anywhere! but who knows, he could go drunk driving tomorrow and hit a puppy dog & I would drop him like a hot potato, but until that day... I'll be here for as long as he interests me as an artist and makes music I enjoy 💚

[matan4il]

Watched Eurovision last weekend and tried to only pay attention to the music but oof, the Israel derangement was horrid. Were any of the other contestants nice to Eden or at the very least not total assholes to her because where's she's from? Please tell me someone was decent or even mildly professional.

Hi Nonnie!

I'm glad to tell you that there WERE people who were personally decent to Eden and the Israeli team, from what I've heard.

One of the parts that suck is that it feels like talking about it too loudly might bring those people into the line of fire. I can say that about myself, that while I was treated awfully by some people in fandom, I've had people be absolutely wonderful to me, and I've had to keep my mouth shut and not thank or celebrate them publicly, because that would have drawn the fire to them. They absolutely do not deserve that. And it sucks that I can't even be openly grateful. Same with the people friendlier to Eden, we Israelis have heard stuff, so we know of them and are thankful, but I don't think anyone has said anything too public, because no one wants to endanger them.

Still, I hope it's been long enough since the final, that we can safely share a few things. Also, I'll emphasize that most of this is hearsay, I can't verify any of it, because it wasn't published officially, this is just the stuff we hear.

The Israeli singer who grew up in and was representing Luxembourg was really lovely with Eden. Tali could have easily avoided ANY association with Eden, so I give her credit for not doing that. The German singer was the nicest to the Eden and Israeli delegation, and I also heard that Germany actually stood up for Israel when the EBU wanted to disqualify it, rightly pointing out the differences between this situation and Russia's ban. I heard good things about the Austrian singer as well, the Latvian, and the Georgian singer. There's probably more that aren't popping into my mind right now, but this is a start, and it's nice knowing kind people, who won't bully a 20 years old singer just because of her nationality, do exist, right?

Another part that sucks is that even some of the people who were nice backstage to Eden, were only willing to do so away from the public eye. I think the most extreme one is the 2023 runner up, Finnish performer Käärijä. He ran into Eden backstage and was totally cool with them doing a short, quick rendition of his ESC song together (which you can see in the link below). It was clearly just two people who love music having fun together, but once the vid was posted online, people started attacking him for supporting genocide (because that's not a leap of logic at all), and he quickly put out a message denouncing everything he's said and done ever, including being born. Then he just had to reassure all of his bullies that he's "okay" even further. The Norwegian 2023 singer who was supposed to deliver her country's jury results had already announced she won't as an anti-Israel measure, so when he was supposed to give the Finnish jury vote, he simply announced he won't, letting people make the connection, and figure out for themselves that it was an anti-Israel move.

Still I think you can take the ones who weren't loudly nasty to Eden, and assume most were nice enough to her privately, even if not publicly. To figure out who those probably were, on top of the ones I mentioned above, I'll just give a short rundown of the performers who were being awful about Israel to different degrees (so you can figure out who was at least decent by way of elimination): Ireland, Belgium, Switzerland, the UK, the Netherlands, Greece, Portugal, Lithuania, Norway, Finland, Slovenia, San Marino, Denmark.

I hope I helped... Have a good day! xoxox

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)

[beauty-and-passion]

Eurovision 2024: broken promises and one last hope

Hello.

I know this post took a bit longer than usual, but I needed some time to collect my thoughts about this year’s Eurovision.

Yes, I watched it. Why? Because it wouldn’t have been fair to the artists, who took part in this year’s competition. It’s not because of them that the show was so polarized, so they didn’t deserve to be punished for that.

Also, I needed to see how far the EBU would go. I needed to see and I needed to remember. And everyone needs to remember too. Remember this year and remember what happened, when the EBU followed its policy so strictly, it ended up making the most tense show I’ve ever watched.

I will share my thoughts and I will try my best to do it effectively. It won’t be a short post and I apologize, but I tried my best.

_________________________________

Sweden: was it worth it?

We all had big expectations for this year’s show. There was Petra Mede, everyone’s favorite host. And Sweden is well known for doing great shows. This year should've been great.

 The first semifinal starts and we're bombarded by greatest hits of the past. Cool for five minutes, boring after one hour.

I’m disappointed: I expected something better from Sweden, not them recycling something already done in the past. But that’s what they did by sending Loreen back to win again, so I suppose it’s fitting.

Okay, so we have Johnny Logan, Ireland’s three-time winner. Is he singing one of his songs? No, he’s singing Tattoo.

Weird choice. Why call Ireland’s three-time winner to perform a Swedish song? Why call a representative of the nation who won as many times as you and make him sing one of your songs and not one of his?

If I were to think badly, I would think this was Sweden's subtle way to impose its supremacy on Ireland. A sort of: "You're not the best anymore, I reached you and I will surpass you. You will succumb to me". But Sweden would never do something like that, wouldn’t it?

Then we have the second semifinal. And we have a song, which can be resumed as follows: “We know we stole Finland’s victory last year, but instead of admitting there is a problem with the voting system (and the entire system for that matter), we’d much rather prefer to whine, because people have been sooooo mean with us. And yes, we will keep sending the same stuff every time, because it makes us win. At the end of the day, all we want is to keep winning, so shut up and love us.”

I don’t know you, but the line between being self-aware of your flaws and openly admitting all you want is to win (all while insulting the country that almost won last year, by saying that their show would’ve been so stupid ah ah, while ours is so cool, see how cool we are?) is very thin. And even the greatest hosting country of all time can succumb to its own hubris once in a while.

Then we reach the final. Okay, the semifinals' shows were meh and left me with a bitter aftertaste, but hey, that’s the final! It must be awesome!

After two hours, I was looking at the clock, waiting for the entire thing to be over.

Did we really need a thirst song about Martin Österdahl, the most hated EBU Executive Supervisor? Was it really necessary to sexualize this man? Is it because he’s Swedish? Is it because Sweden needs to kiss the ESC’s ass even more? Or is it because the ESC really really wants to make this guy more popular, considering people hate him?

After hinting at them in every possible way for the entire week, in the end we got AI-generated ABBA. Well, shoutout to the real ABBA for not participating in this: last year they said they would’ve not taken part and they didn't. Respect.

Alcazar were the biggest surprise of the entire week, because they are a piece of my childhood and Crying at the Discoteque is still a huge bop. But heaven forbid we having fun for more than five minutes, so they were sent away immediately.

At the end of the day, my question is: was it worth it, Sweden? Was it worth winning seven times, only to celebrate with the most boring show ever?

I cannot believe I’m saying this, but I missed Portugal’s show. Yes, the show I called “torture”, because they kept spamming the entire country for days.

You know what? I’d rather watch a country constantly spam its beauties and its culture, than another greatest hit compilation. By god, you’re hosting Eurovision. That's your chance to display your country on the greatest window Europe has to offer. And you use that chance, to repeat over and over “Eurovision good” and talk about it only.

I know Eurovision is good and cool and I love the reminder... but please, give us something more, Sweden. Something you. Listening to a country say: “We don’t have anything else to offer besides Eurovision” does not make me laugh. It makes me sad. It's not that you don't have anything else to offer, Sweden: it's that you don't want to show what else you have to offer.

You have gorgeous natural places (Höga Kusten and Gotland just to name two). You have the second-longest bridge in Europe and it's fucking impressive. Your capital is full of wonderful islands - and I found out there are tours with buses that go both on the ground and in the water. How fucking cool is that?!

Do we want to talk about culture? Your coffee breaks are literally part of your lifestyle and even have a specific name. You have that great concept of lagom which a lot of people should learn too. You are full of beautiful art and funny foods - heck, there is even a Disgusting Food Museum in Malmö! And I didn't find out thanks to Eurovision, but thanks to fucking Tripadvisor.

It's just sad, you know? Don't underestimate yourself so much, Sweden. You have a ton to offer besides this show.

_________________________________

 The Netherlands: victim of paradoxes

Europapa was one of fan’s favorite songs and of course it was: a catchy tune, funny singer, fun and happiness for a song that was both a celebration of Europe and a touching love letter from Joost to his parents.

Of course it got people’s hearts. We all love the story of a character who comes up with a dream and wants to fulfill it. And if we can, we want to make that dream come true.

So just imagine how devastating it was, to find out Joost has been disqualified. I was minding my own business when I found out and I was shocked, so I can’t even imagine how bad his hardcore fans felt.

The first question was, of course, why. What happened? What could’ve done a man who has always wanted to attend Eurovision, to get disqualified? Not warned, not penalized. Disqualified. What did he ever do, to put in jeopardy his lifelong dream like that?

I don't know if we’ll ever find out the whole truth. All we know is that Joost asked a woman to stop filming him, she refused and kept following him, so he made a “threatening gesture” towards the camera, while not touching her.

Which gesture? No idea. Maybe he showed his middle finger, maybe he tried to lower the camera, maybe he said “fuck you and stop filming me”, maybe he tried to hit the camera. I don’t know. But in this case, I would really like to know - and not just what he did, but how the whole thing went.

If this year taught us something, is the importance of context. If Joost Klein tried to punch the camera is one thing and he should be condemned for that. But if Joost Klein tried to punch the camera after being filmed without his permission, because a woman was harassing him and following him, thus breaking the agreement that wanted him to not be filmed after stage… well, that's another thing.

Sure, he shouldn’t have reacted this way. But you can understand by yourself that snapping at someone out of the blue is one thing and snapping because you’re fed up with harassment is another thing.

Did Joost deserve some punishment? Sure. But did the person filming him without consent deserve punishment too? Of course. If you have to apply punishments, you have to do it equally, not with a double standard. So if he was disqualified, that woman should've been removed from her position too. But as far as I know, she wasn't.

Also, why didn't the EBU tell exactly what happened right from the start? Why refer to it as “an incident” and give only vague explanations? Why not mention Joost's disqualification during the Grand Final? Why did people have to find out through social media and the Grand Final happened as if nothing?

That's weird, that's not the behavior of someone who has nothing to hide. What’s the matter, EBU? Why this weird lack of communication? And why not show the footage of the incident and make everything clear? Now you’re respecting Joost’s right to not be filmed? A bit too late for that, isn’t it?

So yes, in a paradoxical turn of events, Joost Klein got his dream denied by the same show he wanted to be part of. The guy with the most European song ever, the one who stuck to the ESC motto “united by music”, the one who celebrated Europe, the one whose childhood dream was to be part of this European show, got disqualified by the same European show.

What can I say? I just hope karma will do its job for him. If he's innocent, he will get good things. If he's in the wrong, he will get his punishment.

In the meantime, you can still support him, stream his songs and check his albums. Here on YouTube you will find basically all of them, since it doesn’t seem he has a YouTube channel (yet).

And if his fans still find everything absurd and unjustifiable, don't worry: if Eurovision 2023 (and all previous ones) taught us something, is that you don’t have to be the winner, to steal people’s hearts. Sometimes, you just need one performance.

And this one stole everyone's heart.

Also, since apparently paradoxes were not enough, it seems like European flags were banned for being political? European flags during a European show in a European country in the European continent.

Uh?!

EBU, one question: on which continent do you think you’re in? Spoiler: it’s not America.

_________________________________

EBU’s biggest mistake

Let's talk a bit about the current global situation, shall we? No, you can't escape from it.

So, unless you lived under a rock until now, you know that the Israeli-Palestinian conflict has been going on for a long time and that recently it intensified again because of the new Gaza conflict. Israel pretends to not have committed war crimes, the rest of the world tells them to stop committing them, there are protests everywhere and people are ready to jump at each other’s throats to defend one country or the other.

Now, you’re the EBU. You say your show isn’t political. And that’s true: Eurovision isn’t political. Eurovision is a musical competition. It has nothing to do with politics.

But Eurovision takes place on planet Earth. And, as said, the situation on planet Earth is a bit tense right now. So you already know that, if you stick one single finger in this situation, you will get BIG reactions from the public.

So, what do you do, when Israel asks you to participate?

a) You tell Israel, very politely and very professionally, that you appreciate their application, but cannot accept them this year, because the situation is what it is and letting them in would bring chaos and potential dangers into a contest whose main foundation is being safe and non-political.

b) You let Israel in and let Palestine participate too, at least in spirit through people’s voices and decisions to mention it. This way, no one can say you’re taking sides, since you’re letting both sides participate.

c) You let Israel in and censor everything and everyone else, so not only you bring chaos inside your non-political contest, but make it even more political than ever and end up taking sides too.

Guess what EBU chose.

In order to stick to their non-political policy, EBU put blinders on and ignored the rest of the world. In order to let one country in because "Eurovision is non-political, so everyone is allowed to participate", they brought politics into their non-political show.

And no, it's not unexpected: it was obvious that, by letting Israel in, politics would've entered the competition too. This country and politics are bound tightly now, because of the current situation: of course if you let one in, the other will enter too.

And with politics, all the chaos of the current situation found its way in too. And that means EBU literally put in danger:

25 artists and their teams coming from all over Europe

the same Israeli gal and her team

all the tourists coming from all over the world to attend Eurovision

Swedish people who were living their normal lives and were suddenly surrounded by protests and chaos

the protesters who could've been involved in potential clashes

members of the police who also could've been involved in potential clashes

“But hey”, you might say, “nothing bad happened, in the end! You’re being too negative!”

Sure, thankfully nothing bad happened. But the risk was there, it was huge and it's not that "it would've been here anyway": the risk could've been completely avoided, by applying just a bit more human reasoning.

But even after politics found its way into the show, even after that, EBU could've saved the whole thing. If only one human being with a functioning brain said something like: "Okay, politics is in, even if we didn't want to. Now all we can do is let the other side of the conflict speak too, while we stay neutral".

But no, oh no. Mentioning Palestine and ceasefire means politics and our show isn't political. So let's ignore the fact that our decision to follow the policy verbatim led to politics being inside the show and let's keep applying the rules as if nothing: no one should mention politics, so Eric Saade cannot perform with the kefiah, Bambie Thug should remove their messages about ceasefire, Iolanda cannot keep her nails with Palestine's colors (seriously?!) and people's booing should be drowned with anti-booing technology.

You know, it's incredibly fascinating how EBU's stubborn decision to strictly follow the rules not only allowed politics inside the show, but led to the EBU itself taking a political stand, all while censoring every other opposition. EBU's rigid, mechanical application of the policy led to the EBU contradicting the same policy it was oh-so-religiously following. By making sure the show wasn't political, EBU applied censorship and not only made it even more political, but politically oriented towards one side of the conflict.

I don't know who the EBU members are and if they're human beings with functioning brains or just AI-generated bots, but please: stop following the rules like mindless robots and start using human reasoning in your decision-making process. And use common sense too, because if an idiot like me could foresee the consequences, you should've been able to foresee them too.

_________________________________

Israel: bullying cannot buy you victory

Now, we have Israel in. And the Israeli gal and her team perfectly know that their sole presence will lead to controversy and political stands.

So, if you were in their place, what would have you done?

kept a low profile during the entire competition;

showed at least an ounce of regret for unintentionally putting everyone in danger;

bullied everyone and tried to find any possible chance to beef with the other artists;

Guess what the Israeli team chose.

During the entire competition, these people kept harassing other artists, filming them without consent, calling them names, misgendering them. They kept this arrogant behavior, as if they owned the place and all other countries were just invited to their show.

And if there’s something I hate more than arrogance, is arrogance with a side dish of bullying.

So, to all the people whining because “Martina Satti yawned while Eden was speaking and Joost hid his face”: if that’s bullying, for you, you have a great life and I envy you. I wish I was bullied like that in school. But my bullying was more like… well, calling me names, harassing me and listening/spying what I was doing without my consent.

But apparently harassing the competitors wasn’t enough, so Israel decided to harass the viewers too, by begging for votes. Yes, they begged for votes. Yes, they spammed ads all over YouTube. Yes, I got one too and it was on a Eurovision-unrelated video and it made my blood boil. Yes, they were this desperate. And yes, that’s pathetic.

Also: is this legal? Is this allowed? EBU, are we sure this is part of the rules you follow so strictly? And please, tell me: is harassment also part of those same rules?

But do not worry: in the end, karma found its way. And despite the arrogance, the harassment, the tons of money spent to beg people, none of these means was enough to grant Israel the victory they oh-so-desperately wanted.

On the contrary: in a wonderfully ironic twist, the winner was one of the artists they kept misgendering and harassing. Mmmh, delicious irony, my favorite.

So thank you Israel for wasting money all over YouTube, I hope they were a lot. Thank you to all the people who made a political vote, you really got the spirit of the show, I hope you will never watch it again. Thank you Israeli team for harassing everyone and making an already tense competition even more tense. And, most importantly, thank you EBU for bringing politics in a non-political show: great fucking job, I hope someone will get fired.

And now, let's finally talk about music. Israel's song was nothing special, just the umpteenth bland song I've listened to 200 times already. And we all know it didn't get 300+ votes because everyone was in love with it. People's taste is not so bland and boring. And the final points proved it.

(On a side note, if I were Eden, I would be offended by these votes. At least the people who voted for Loreen last year didn't do it because of Sweden, but because of her talent. This year, I doubt that the people who voted for Eden gave a shit about her talent at all)

_________________________________

France: I need to make some apologies

Listen, you have to understand: we Italians know that French singers are good. We laugh, we say they’re “so French” and they keep Frenching and everything, but we know they rarely disappoint.

The problem is that France is good at the same things we’re good too. We’re both good at soccer, we’re good with food, wine, fashion. And we’re both good at singing.

So, France, remember: we might make fun of you but my god, your artists are amazing. When Slimane sang that part acapella two meters away from his microphone, I literally got shivers. He is a fucking great singer, his voice is incredible and he deserved more than 7 points.

I know French Frenching, but we should give credit when necessary:

_________________________________

Estonia, Spain and basically everyone else: two words and more apologies

Estonia 20th and Spain 22nd? Super robbed. The ignominy. The audacity. They served us beautiful Estonian language and a Spanish gal with a soft voice and that's how they got rewarded? They deserve more and better and people are stupid.

Also, I don’t know what kind of beef Greeks have with Marina, but she was good and doesn’t deserve all of this hate. Also because most of the complaints I've heard about make no sense, so… uh?!

Germany: fucking finally, people gave you votes. Thank you for persevering, your song was truly nice and I liked it too.

Armenia: yes, top 10! For great, lively, wonderful Balkan rhythm! You deserve it and your country deserves love and appreciation.

Italy: I’m okay with this result. Angelina’s performance was better, compared to the one in the semi-finals (also, better costume too, the other was too revealing and too much in general). 7th place is fine.

Ireland: I know that’s not a song for everyone and okay, fine, maybe it’s nothing special either… but my god, have you seen the performance they put on? A-ma-zing. It was interesting, captivating and full of details. And the narrative is perfect too: you can see how Bambie slowly befriends the demon and ends up killing it. It was truly enjoyable to watch. So I’m glad it got 6th place, they deserve an even higher position.

Ukraine: please keep slaying, your artists are always so great and they keep proving it every goddamn time. Also, that moment when Ukraine surpassed Israel was delicious: money truly cannot buy you love and support.

The UK: seriously, why are you whining about people not giving you points? The song was okay, but nothing truly special. Still, you got 18th place! What should Norway say, instead? Poor Norway, it has all my sympathy, the song wasn't this bad.

And now, to you all: you know what to do. Follow your favorites, stream their songs, shower them with love. Eurovision is over, but these artists are not disappearing. They are still out there, making beautiful music. Go check on them.

_________________________________

Croatia: “the audience will come to my concert, not the jury”

Baby Lasagna was a blessing and as Italian, I want to properly apologize for giving it 16 points total only. You deserved 24, shame on us for being stupid morons.

Croatia gave us a beautiful song, from a beautiful artist with a great message and upbeat sounds. And I’m not the only one who thinks this, because the rest of the public agrees with me. Marko gave us pure joy and entertainment in an evening that was mostly sadness, tension and boredom.

And yes, it’s sad he didn’t win… but he knew it, before Switzerland’s points have been announced. Look at his face, during the final voting: as soon as Petra said Switzerland only needed 182 points, he realized he was going to lose. You can see him understanding and accepting it. He knew Switzerland would get these points. I knew. Everybody knew.

So no, this wasn’t like last year: last year, it was a one-on-one game between Finland and Sweden and a tug-of-war between public and jury. This year, we had a lot of favorites. Marko was the favorite, but if Joost wasn’t disqualified, maybe the points would’ve been even more distributed.

But you know what? Marko actually got the best possible result you can get in Eurovision. People adore you, you become a legend and your country doesn’t have to deal with EBU’s bullshit. You get the best of both worlds and it doesn’t cost you a cent.

Also, consider that Marko accepted his 2nd place graciously and maturely, went back home and was welcomed by basically the whole Zagreb (Let3 were there too! Kings supporting a king, very fitting). And in an interview, he said something like “I don’t care about the jury points, because the jury doesn’t come to my concerts”. Which proves he is:

a mood

a king

the truth oracle

everyone’s spirit animal

the winner of the people

the coolest guy ever

So, Croatia: I understand your disappointment, the jury system REALLY needs to change. And no, you won't host Eurovision next year. But consider that you're everyone's favorite country now. And you won't have to deal with whatever shit will happen in 2025! So sit back, relax, may your tourism thrive and your quality of life be high.

And if all of you people really enjoyed Baby Lasagna, please consider he has a YouTube channel and there are two other songs, besides Rim Tim Tagi Dim. One criticizes social media and the influencer system, while the other is a piece of great life advice from the title: “Don't hate yourself, but don't love yourself too much”. Thank you, king, for being so real.

And in case you’re wondering, yes, they’re both huge bops.

Do your magic, people: subscribe to his channel, stream his songs, watch his videos, shower him with love and, most importantly, meow back.

_________________________________

Switzerland: a contest that can live up to its promise

In the end Switzerland won. And it’s a good victory, you know? You might not like the song, but consider that Nemo sang pop, rap and opera, all while jumping on that rotating platform-thingy and running all over the stage. And they even bent back, while keeping a high note and rotating. I can’t even keep a high note by standing still, let alone by doing all the stuff they did.

Also, this is the first victory for a non-binary person, so great for them. And basically no one knew Nemo before Eurovision, so the show came back to its roots, by giving fame to an unknown artist.

Last but not least, in an ironic turn of events, this victory is the least political thing that happened on that stage. In the most polarized, political show ever, the winner is the quintessential neutral country. Almost poetic, in a way.

And this victory is also a huge slap in the face for the EBU: in the end, it wasn't its rigid adherence to the policy that made the show non-political, it was the jury’s vote. How the tables have turned.

But there is another reason why this victory is good after all and it’s because it’s a hopeful one. The winner isn’t famous, they didn’t harass anyone, they didn’t use money to win, they brought nothing besides their identity, a kind heart and a flag they had to sneak in because of the weird “flag rule” EBU pulled out.

And I would like to remind you that, during their victory speech, Nemo said this:

"I hope this contest can live up to its promise and continue to stand for peace and dignity for every person in this world".

I think it’s a speech that tells everything about this year’s show. This year, the contest didn’t live up to its promise: it put people in unnecessary danger, it brought tension, it made it political. EBU’s strictness led to a lot of consequences, the exact ones it tried so desperately to avoid.

As a result, no one enjoyed their time. I didn't enjoy my time. When Sunday came, I was relieved that the week was finally over and I was able to leave Eurovision behind. I didn't feel an ounce of the usual post-Eurovision nostalgia. I was just glad it was over.

And it's sad and unfair, because Eurovision isn't this. Eurovision is a perfect little window of peace and unity, away from the chaos of the world. For a few hours, three evenings a year, we can leave the real problems behind and focus on silly ones, like which country should win, which should be forever ashamed and which artist will become a legend.

This year, it wasn't like that. This year politics found its way in and wrecked everything. What was supposed to be a silly, funny, lighthearted show became so heavily politically charged, it broke under the weight.

And now that I think about it, Nemo breaking the trophy is the perfect metaphorical representation of this year's competition.

Just like that trophy, Eurovision is something frail and beautiful and mishandling can break it. And oh boy, the EBU truly mishandled it. Even if it was an accident, even if it wasn't done on purpose, the trophy is still broken. The show is broken.

But when asked about their broken trophy, Nemo didn't mourn it: Nemo gave words of hope. Maybe the broken trophy can be repaired. And maybe Eurovision can be repaired too.

How? Well, maybe by starting to learn when and how to apply rules. By using common sense and sensibility. And by checking the world outside too. If we want Eurovision to keep being that small window separated from real world problems, we can't just ignore them: we need to check them and react accordingly.

And if we have to break a rule to guarantee peace and safety, then so be it. One broken rule is not as important as safety and unity.

After all, what makes Eurovision isn't a set of rules: it's the artists, with their talents, their messages, their hopes, their voices, their dreams. They are Eurovision. They are the pull that draws everyone in. They are the reason why people are "united by music". Not because a rule orders them to, not because of the EBU: because of these artists.

Maybe the EBU can start from that. Maybe it can start by looking at the human aspect. Maybe it can start by going out and looking around. And maybe it can learn to take more care of the artists who are the foundation of the show.

And maybe, maybe, they will be able to repair Eurovision too.

See you, hopefully, next year.

[hetaestoniahq]

"Who is Estonia?"

A series of responses heavily based on little facts of culture and history with the Nordic-Baltic 8. This is just a fun little short way I thought of to talk about their relationships and history. Pretty much everything is a reference to something. This is all for fun! :D

FINLAND

Two out of three of the only independent Uralic countries to exist. You’d think it would be a heavy burden to carry, but it’s easier not being alone.

Even when I was the one to wrong him, Eduard did not change his stance. Guess it's part of being family to not always see eye to eye. It never discouraged him from rushing to my aid even when things were hard for him too. Eduard refused to let any hardship stop him from bleeding for my country. Ridiculously stubborn he is - but it’s been one of his greatest strengths. Of course I repaid him, then he proceeded to do it again. It's like a cycle of fighting for each other's freedom, one I was unable to continue because what I could do had became incredibly limited. These limited set of actions still seemed to mean the world to him. Re-independence had its rough patches, but more than ever were we glad to both be free and have each other again.

Eduard always wants what's best for both of us. He doesn't want any one of us to end up in the hands of our Eastern neighbours and puts so much time and effort into our cooperation and safety. Why do you think he became so dedicated in Cybersecurity? If he can't be a physical powerhouse, he'll be a powerhouse of the mind. Even when I was uncertain of what I will do, he did not pressure me. Instead, he promised that no matter what I decide, he will always be there for me, no matter what.

The only flag I want to see down south is a tricolour blue-black-blue, if the sun one day rises without it then I will know I have failed as a brother.

🇫🇮💙🇪🇪

NORWAY

I didn’t expect us to have many things alike outside similarities that are basic and expected for a northern nation. Never expected that something as simple as common patterns among our sweaters, hats and mittens could mean a lot more in hindsight. Another is the familiar feeling of having been thrown between nations and finally being independent again- even if our stories on that are much different.

When life told him no, he looked for another way- even though his government in exile continued to operate elsewhere, the mere fact that it was founded in Norway seemed to mean a lot to him. Perhaps it was my way of making up for the time he bled for me as well. When his own freedom was compromised, he would not sit idly and watch as someone he cared about was fighting for the same reason. As small as it may have seemed in the big picture, it is the passion and care that counts.

Estonia has always wanted to bridge any gaps between us. Inviting my people to sing in song festivals, making work deals, rushing to create a flight connection for a direct method of transport. It seems like every year Estonia finds ways to bring us a little closer, be it economic or cultural.

I too know the weight of sharing a border with Russia, partially to have so much history of dealing with him.. The Baltic’s strength is commendable.

Keep singing, songbird.

🇳🇴❤️🇪🇪

LATVIA

Long ago I used to hate Estonia. We used to be at each other's throats declaring each other “blood enemies”. It's a little funny looking back on it, the way history went on to tie us so close together. Together we saw countless wars, famines, storms, rarely were we separated through it. Sometimes I'd ask him “What do you think the world will throw at us next?” And he'd look at me and simply shrug “We'll see.”

A moment of truth was when we both fought for independence, for two new nations to be formed.

When I was backstabbed by the people who had tormented both of us for centuries, It was then I saw how our relationship had changed over the ages when Estonia without question stepped up to fight by my side. So casually my fight became his fight, no strings attached.

Estonia, his culture and language is notably different from mine, but must that mean we can't be brothers too? What brought us together was our experiences, not our blood. This applies to most of us, all I have been left with in regards to any sense of family is Lithuania. It would be a sad reality to live in if I considered only one country as worth being brothers with.

Estonia with his bond with Finland is the bridge that ties the Nordic-Baltic 8 together, but that doesn't mean me and Lithuania don't contribute to it either!

🇱🇻❤️🇪🇪

LITHUANIA

You'd think that with how different our history till the last century is, that I would be a weak link in all this, right?

I would not say so, even if there's some truth in the fact that I am not as close to Estonia as some others might be, it's the continuous effort to bring us together that counts.

Our old history includes fights here and there, the Balt Estonia once held close is no longer with us and with the Finnic brothers he has seen fade - he shares our pain of loss. Our enemies have often been the same, but back then we failed to see unity. What would have happened if we realised that far sooner? We’ll never know.

Our time together under the commonwealth was brief but the time under Russian rule slowly gave us a new opportunity.

The moment all three of us became independent, Estonia was the one to seek ways to bring us closer. Of course the main motive for it was to stand together stronger in the scenario of our east neighbour attacking, it still planted seeds for more than just that.

Latvia may be the one linking the Baltics together, but if it was necessary for me to be the one to reach out and hold his hand instead - I would not find it strange.

I'll always enjoy sitting back and enjoying some ice cream together, basking under a shared free sun.

🇱🇹❤️🇪🇪

ICELAND

I know the feeling of not being seen or heard, I decided a change was needed and took the first step. I never expected how much my simple words of “I recognize you as an independent country” would be worth more than gold. I became seen as a true friend, a “fellow small country”, an icebreaker, a name immortalised on a memorial- for just stubbornly expressing my stance? They seemed surprised when I showed my gratitude with a similar gesture.

Neither of us care for large mighty extravagant buildings as tourist attractions, instead we value and guide people to explore what mother nature has gifted us. I appreciate having him around. Even if I were the only Nordic to feel this way - I would still speak up for him.

🇮🇸❤️🇪🇪

DENMARK

Resilient, stubborn and always ready to improve - that's how I would describe Estonia.

I was part of the era that turned his history dark, I had celebrated victory for conquering a fierce land. When I had pointed my sword to his throat to submit him to the Danish crown, Estonia stood up and said “I will never die, no matter what you do to me.”

That was a promise.

Instead of looking at me with distaste for what I did to him so long ago, these memories instead are proof that we have always been connected. The flag of my nation - Dannebrog, stands as the strongest symbol of that. Hah! Why do you think Tallinn keeps showing it off all over the place? Give the coat of arms a closer look while you're at it! My guess is it's how Eduard expresses holding something dear.

It was like a hit of nostalgia to come back 700 years after that battle, hearing of Eduard’s fight for independence.

Like repaying a debt of honour, I couldn't sit back and watch a wounded land fight against a giant alone. I knew I had to do at least something, even if the government was not the most supportive of it. Two hundred men out of two thousands who were able to go and able to risk their lives in the end may seem small, but their effort was a success that brought honour to the crown.

This turn in history gave us another chance to start over, kindling a friendship neither of us thought we could ever have, before being struck with another turn that took him away from us again. I sat in silence refusing to accept it until he and his Baltic brothers reminded the world of their existence and stepped up to stand in support.

I made sure to keep the promises I made. I had 50 lost years to make up for, so I gave a hand in as many areas as I possibly could.

I'm proud to be his friend and I know that if he falls then I might too, which is why I know I can never let that happen. Never again will I let that happen.

🇩🇰❤️🇪🇪

SWEDEN

Most people don't realise how far back we go.

I saw Eduard at his fiercest point, a land that would strike fear into kings and just as easily burn what he didn’t like. He wasn’t someone to upset and yet I kept poking at him like a bear with a stick.

He allowed my people to come as settlers into uninhabited areas, despite his experience with foreigners taking and taking from him. Those settlers seemingly became a natural part of his nation, honoured even if most of them are now gone.

Something I quickly learned was how studious Eduard is, someone who picks up new skills incredibly fast. To think Eduard steadily became one of the most literate parts of the Russian empire back in the day makes me wonder how much of it was the seeds of education I planted or his hard work in fighting to keep it.

I tried my best to give my part in his fight for independence, turns out my support in this fight had been something his people had fantasized for decades. To think that after the way I left the people would continue to hold Sweden so dear in their hearts as the words “Good ol’ Swedish age” would be carried from generation to generation. Of course once given the opportunity we reconnected, provided a warm welcome.

Guilt gnawed at me every year as freedom had been so easily robbed from him again. I made mistakes. Mistakes I've apologised for repeatedly. Because of all the people given a chance of freedom and a normal life that my land gave - it's been forgiven. Sweden became a place where people could gather and continue the fight in safety - I am proud to have been able to have a role like that.

I am glad to have been given the chance to now stand as close to equals as possible.

All I hope is that Eduard learns to truly value and love himself more, do not let the ignorant voices shake him now.

🇸🇪❤️🇪🇪

All of us together, we will thrive as the Nordic-Baltic 8 and all of us are glad to have Estonia be part of it. It wouldn't be the same without any one of us, which is why we will continue to stand together no matter what others try to claim we are.

With love,

Northern Europe

🇮🇸🇳🇴🇩🇰🇸🇪🇫🇮🇪🇪🇱🇻🇱🇹

[paikothecateater]

Nordic five sleepover headcanons?

Okay!

-Sweden forces everyone into those really obnoxious fluffy onesies. Not only because he thinks they're adorable, but also because it's uh... Freezing.

-everyone expects Iceland to fall asleep first because of how early he normally sleeps, but this boy refuses to be the first to fall asleep. He's had sleepovers with Hong Kong. He has seen things that no living being should have the misfortune of seeing...

-Norway and Denmark always pick the movies and it's always frozen and the lego movie. How do the others feel about these picks? Well, Sweden could do without Norway pointing out cultural references every five seconds and Denmark laughing hysterically at a joke that isn't even funny (it is), Finland is happy the others are happy, but if he has to hear let it go or everything is awesome one more time, he's going to snap. Iceland has completely given up on life.

-building on the fact that Iceland refuses to fall asleep first, if Norway is instead the one to fall asleep first, Iceland will fight anyone who tries anything. Iceland knows how hard it is for Norway to go to sleep and he's not about to let anyone ruin the sleep he is getting.

-if drinks are involved, Sweden will refuse to drink to make sure Iceland isn't the one having to look after a bunch of inebriated adults.

-Iceland and Sweden make a great team for any and all board games. They always win.

-Denmark proves time and time again that he is an absolute ball of sunshine and joy. He is an absolute delight to have at a sleepover. He's constantly cracking dumb jokes, he hasn't stopped hysterically laughing since the night started and he's just generally being an absolute puppy.

-Finland and Norway make a very funny board/video game duo. "THAT WAS MEANT TO BE A CAT?! HOW THE FUCK DO YOU EXPECT ME TO GUESS THAT, MORON!??!" "SHUT THE FUCK UP, IT WAS SO OBVIOUS!" "OBVIOUS MY ASS!"

-Denmark always sleeps last to make sure the rest are all comfortable.

-the only person who gets pranked when they sleep is Sweden because he thinks it's funny and likes giving the others a chance to have fun.

I think that's enough for now lol.

[jamtlandsarkiv]

It's hard to find densu enjoyers. What's your favorite dynamic? And during which era do you like to imagine them together? Some people who write this pairing in modern settings make Sweden cheating on Finland for instance. It's as if each historical period demands a different reason for this rare pair to be together.

Thank you Anon for sending this ask about my OTP! I'll write my answer under the cut as I have far too many thoughts about these two.

Please appreciate this new and improved GIGABJÖRN this DenSu Swednesday.

The part of your ask where you said that some people who write DenSu in modern settings make Sweden cheat on Finland surprised me, because I have never seen this before. The only reason why I think someone would write this is because they're a SuFin shipper who uses cheating DenSu to introduce some drama into SuFin's relationship. There's no real-life reason why Sweden has to cheat on Finland to be with Denmark in the modern day, because they're all independent nations. Besides, both Finns and Danes make fun of Swedes. If their personifications shared the attitudes of their people, neither of them would want to be in a relationship with Sweden.

My favorite time period and dynamic for DenSu is the most vanilla one possible: modern era, happy monogamous relationship. I'll admit that I'm very bitter towards the old fandom's dynamic for DenSu where they were only violent towards each other. I like to write DenSu as the ideal relationship, so I want them to live in a time period where their countries don't have an active conflict against each other, where they can be open about their relationship and raise children without facing a lot of discrimination. Also, I write Mathias (Denmark) and Björn (Sweden) as human-like characters with unique personalities and life stories that have lived through their countries' entire history, as opposed to humanized versions of the countries whose personalities and lives are analogies for the country's history. This means that the history of their relationship will be influenced by their countries' mutual history, but it won't be determined by that.

Mathias and Björn are immortal magical personifications in my Nationverse, which is different from Hetalia canon in many ways. One of the differences is that humans aren't aware about the existence of magic and immortal personifications, which means that the personifications are not important figures in human society. They don't have a political role and they're not obligated to participate in every war and historical event that their country experiences, although they will be affected by these events in the same way as their fellow citizens. Another difference is that their health and physical ages represents the "conservation status" of their people and culture. Because their people and culture are not threatened in the modern day, their bodies are frozen at the peak of a human's health and strength, in their mid to late 20s.

Mathias and Björn were born when the ancestors of modern Danes and Swedes began to inhabit the land that would become the modern countries. They lived in their respective countries with their people, and they only started spending time together as children, after they figured out how to use their magical powers to teleport to each others' lands. Björn had an intense crush on Mathias but was terrified of others finding out about it, so he tried to suppress his crush by being an asshole to Mathias. Mathias obviously had to retaliate against this stupid kid who was being an asshole to him (and who he couldn't kill because Björn was immortal too). This was the start of their thousands-of-years rivalry.

As their countries formed kingdoms and started to have more frequent conflicts with each other, they formed a genuine hate for each other and challenged each other to fatal duels (being immortals, the loser would respawn). Björn's crush on Mathias only became more intense as they grew older, and Mathias also became attracted to Björn whose muscles only got bigger with time. Their duels with weapons evolved to fights with a suspicious amount of physical contact, but neither of them were willing to admit their attraction to each other because of the social norms of the time.

DenSu's fights ended in the 19th century when both of their countries lost a lot of their power and territory. As their countries experienced famines and mass emigrations, their health began to decline, and they couldn't stop thinking about the possibility of death if their countries' population and economy wasn't able to recover. Finally, they put their rivalry aside to support each other through their common struggle. I haven't decided exactly when the turning point of their relationship from friends to lovers happened, but I like the idea of Mathias living in Björn's house during WW2 after the annexation of Denmark. Living under the same roof as "friends" with intense mutual crushes led them to explore each others' bodies, and then...

The greatest strength of DenSu's dynamic is the physical attraction and passion they feel for each other. After all, if they can keep up a rivalry for thousands of years, they can turn it into love too. Both of them are the types of people who bond to one person very strongly. That person will receive their full love and attention, but they are expected to reciprocate just as much. This is no problem for DenSu, as both of them feel greatly fulfilled when they make their other half happy. While the term "opposites attract" is usually applied to DenSu, they are only opposites on the surface. They have different - nearly opposing - skills, interests and preferences, but their ethics, values, communication and thinking styles, goals in life and sexual preferences are very similar. This means that there's almost no "resistance" or "wasted energy" when they work together and interact with each other, because they can quickly agree on a common goal, know what their roles are and how to achieve their common goal. Each of them helps to compensate for skills that the other is missing. DenSu operates like a finely tuned machine with all of the parts in perfect synergy.

Scandinavian culture is reserved, so to the casual observer, DenSu doesn't even appear to be a couple, as they don't do PDA or sappy romantic gestures. The way they show love to each other is through silently doing favors for each other, remembering what the other likes, accepting their (few) differences rather than nagging the other to change. They keep the romantic gestures in private, and when nobody's watching, they are very touchy and "filled with desires" (Tumblr may not like the actual word). They're physically frozen in their 20s and have healthy diets and frequent exercise, so they get these "desires" very often. Despite what their physiques and body language would imply, Björn has a higher sex drive than Mathias, and Björn is a bottom. Mathias is vers and Björn will oblige when Mathias asks him to top, but he doesn't get any pleasure from it directly. He only feels the emotional pleasure from seeing Mathias being pleasured.

Finally, something I don't see being talked about often enough is the way Mathias and Björn verbally communicate with each other! Swedish and Danish are mutually intelligible, but the average Swede is not trained to understand Danish and will hardly understand anything. Danish comprehension of Swedish is better, but it's not great either. Mathias and Björn are definitely better than the baseline because of their thousands of years together, but they weren't together for most of those years, and they cannot fluently speak each other's language. Because of this, they modify their normal ways of speaking to understand each other better. They have memorized the most common vocabulary differences and false friends. When they talk to each other, they'll insert these different words from the other person's language, and speak in a more neutral "TV big city" accent without noticing. Björn's natural accent is not a big city one (he's from coastal northern Sweden), and I like the idea of Mathias making a special effort to travel to his hometown and study his dialect early into their relationship (before the invention of the internet).

More DenSu headcanons and essays to come. I'm thinking about creating a wiki dedicated to writing about my OTPs...

[headingalaxys-spicy]

I'd love to see Finland 🇫🇮, Denmark 🇩🇰, and/or Spain 🇪🇸 with a reader who just got her first book published, a non fiction book wanting to help people through loss. Please and thank you! 💖💖

Thank you so much for your patience! I hope you enjoy this one. I tried to make it as heartfelt as possible!

🇩🇰 Denmark 🇩🇰

You’d been staring at the computer screen until you heard some footsteps racing up your stairs. It only took you two seconds to figure out who the foot pattern belonged to.

“Y/N! Y/N! IT’S ME! LET ME IN! I HEARD- I SAW THE NEWS! LET ME IN! LET ME IN!”

From being still like an Edvard Erikson statue to your movement becoming fluid like water, you practically sprinted to your door. Once you opened the door to greet him, you were engulfed by the mid-afternoon air and muscles sculpted in the northern frost. Mathias had you caged in a bear hug and spun you around several times until you were dizzy.

“You did it y/n! You did it! I told you that simply going for it was a good idea!”

“Haha thanks Mathias!” You were choked up with laughter and relief.

Mathias carried you to your living room. You were kind of shaky, but you still couldn’t believe you followed through and finished. Your heart fluttered with joy, and you were glad to be done.

“I knew you had that spark!” He sat you down so he could inspect your face. You still had heavy bags that sat beneath your eyes. They bore the weight of all the emotions you poured out while you wrote. You swam into the depths of your soul so you could inspect its contents. The jagged rocks that lurked in the darkened waters represented all of the heartaches you’ve ever had to overcome. However sharp, it at least did not cause you to become bitter. The journeys you go through when your heart shatters under the heavy pressuring weight in the ocean of sorrow. Thinking about writing about your experiences with the ocean made tears form in the corners of your eyes.

Mathias quickly wiped away your tears as soon as they began their dissent. His bright blue hues intertwined with your darkened (eye color) that was being affected by a storm that was brewing in the distance. Mathias will share his sweet words to try to ease the incoming storm.

He’s going to plan a fun night to help you decompress from the stress of publishing a book that requires emotional energy.

He’ll want to take you to Tivoli Gardens. The number of jokes will be high because his goal for the night will be to ensure you have an amazing night. He will grab your arm and….

“OOOOOOH! Y/N! Y/N! LETS GO ON ‘THE GALLEY SHIPS AND PRETEND WE’RE VIKINGS!” He’d already bought both of you 5ft long glow sticks so you could have a sword fight there and on the way to other rides. He playfully booped your nose and forehead and slapped your legs and arms playfully with his bright ice-blue stick. You occasionally parry his offenses with your cherry-red glow stick.

Some will raise their eyebrows at his saccharine silliness. It painted the sky shades of deep pinks & reds and decorated it with vibrant flowers.

After that, he’ll escort you to the Star Flyer. He wanted the day to be fun and like a fairytale, and what better way to do that than to be on high swinging chairs? He grabs ice cream with you on your way there. You allow yourself to be fully immersed in the cotton candy daydream bubble that you were in for a while. It’s not like you got to be here often so what would the rush be?

Mathias’ bright smile seemed to have stolen a few beams of sun so that you could radiate sunlight right from his perfect teeth. He happily skips along as he thwacks you one more time gently on top of your head.

“Come on Y/N let’s hurry! Last one there loses!” He dashes off with a swift head start.

Once you’ve made it to the swings and prepared for take-off, you knew you wouldn’t have a voice. You knew you’d lose the ability to speak by the time you were done screaming your head off. Mathias adored screaming while being spun high in the air. He was like a happy Broholmer who had way too much caffeine.

As you descend back to earth, Matthias will grab your hand and decide which attraction you want to visit next. You pick a rollercoaster. You wanted to be alive! You felt alive!

Mathias will deliver when it comes to the best rides that keep you interested. The rest of the evening will be magical. He’ll show you all the best rides to suit your inner adrenaline junkie. You’ll wander around the park for a little while as you’ve been struck by the fantasy haze that has bright pastel yellows, purples, and blues.

🇫🇮 Finland 🇫🇮

He sent you a text to come over on Saturday morning for a fun get-together. He knew you well enough to make your favorite meals & snacks. Tino will have your favorite movies on DVD and have an aesthetically pleasing 500-piece puzzle for you to solve. He knows you tend to be overwhelmed about incoming critic reviews & to some extent what others think. However, Tino was ready for that. He knew your gentle heart well.

You were around the corner from Tino’s place when your heart began to pump insanely quick. Your palms were sweaty and you’d forgotten to text that you were on the way. This hangout was the only way you’d be able to distract yourself. Your publishing company dropped your book physically in shops, online, and for a Netflix exclusive content that would be read against a soothing star lit background. It had only been out for three hours or so and public opinion was beginning to pour in.

‘What if what they think what I wrote is dumb?’

‘What if it doesn’t make sense or is gibberish to those who read it?’

‘What if people think it’s too sappy?’

You pulled out your phone to check the time. It had been only a short while since the announcement was dropped. The IG post had hundreds of comments and thousands of likes. However you still hesitated at looking at the comment section even with the thousands of likes.

‘What if they’re all hate comments?’ Was another worried question that had crossed your mind. But you were eager to see what people were saying and the first impressions of your book. As you were about to jump down the rabbit hole a familiar voice dragged you back into the physical reality.

“Y/N! Y/N! Why are you just standing there staring at your phone? Come in before you & the (favorite hot comfort food) gets cold!” The cheer and warmth in his voice beckoned to you. As you pried your eyes away from your phone it remained in your hand. You dashed towards the door to greet him and hand him the wine you’d bought for him. You knew it was customary to treat your host with a nice gift of sorts when you visited them.

You were glad to see Tino. You needed him to help you stave off he rabid thoughts that the earned to devour you.

“Thanks Y/N. I have some cute bunny slippers for you. Now you can really be cozy whenever you’re at my home.” He exidely hands you the soft slippers with large ears that pointed up to 90 degrees. The beady eyes had a pristine shine to them.

“You’re too sweet thanks Tino.~” You slipped them on immediately after you took your shoes off. The plushy fabric supported you as you followed him inside. Something about being in Tino’s home always put you at ease. Tino swiftly grabs your hand and rushes to the dining room. He was eager to show you the elaborate brunch spread he’d made.

It was decorated with cookies, danishes, munkki (donut thing) & Lakiaispulla.

“Wow this looks amazing!”

“Well you did just do something amazing. You finally published your book you’d been working on for a few years now!”

He’ll pamper you in sweet ways for the entire weekend. He will have loosely made plans than can be flexible depending on your mood. Things like going to all the best small cafés, museums and hidden places that only he knows about.

Of course you’ll be taken to the sauna so the tension from your nerves can be eased. He will give you soothing massages to boot.

“Can’t write well if your back is all bent out of shape!”

While indulging in the epic spread that he’s crafted you’ll find yourself getting lost on the train viewing broadcasts that are popular in Finland. From the beautiful bustling cities of Finland that looked like an iridescent daydreams come to life to the lush forests with peaceful wildlife you couldn’t help but soak in the tranquility of this life. You allowed to to engulf your senses. Your notifications blaring from your phone brought you back into your more chaotic reality.

‘Did they hate what you wrote?’

‘Was all that was there absolute nonsense?’

The questions began to buzz in your mind like bees beginning to wake from a winter slumber. Your heart pace picked up and you’d stopped responding to Tino when he asked you about….

“Y/N!” His voice cut through the loud buzzing in your ears. You weren’t accustomed to him raising his voice in such a manner. You braced yourself for a more intensive outburst. That fear was extinguished when you felt him remove some of the hair that had fallen onto your face. Tino placed a supportive hand on your shoulder.

“Y\N want to talk about it over a drink?” His sweet smile was reassuring. It acted as an intoxicating smoke that soothed the bees eating away at your ears filled with doubt. Tino knows that you’re stressed and will listen to your woes about writing a book about loss. Pouring out your soul was no easy task. To put it out there for others to judge was on a whole other level of vulnerable. He wanted to help you carry the hefty burdens of the heart.

“Yes, let’s Tino.”

🇪🇸 Spain 🇪🇸

He’s simply excited that you’d managed to publish your book despite all the hell you had to go through in order to do so. The plethora of late nights, numerous meetings with your editor, you even consulted a few behavioral therapist and ones that specialized in grief management assisted you in producing your narrative in a constructive manner. You were meticulous in how you crafted your narrative.

Antonio for awhile believed that you’d been forced to take extra work at your daytime job for awhile. He’d always swung by your apartment to see if you wanted to have a late lunch/ early dinner or have an extended siesta relaxing in the sun. At first he wasn’t concerned when you declined to hang out with him the first few times. His worry began when you’d avoided him for 4 months straight.

Sweat was pouring down his temples when he reached your door. Had you been in the middle of a major crisis and he simply failed to notice? Why had you not come to him? Questions like this swirled in his mind until you answered the door to let him in.

“Antonio?” You say in a groggy voice.

“Y/N!” He practically tackled you off the ground. He kept you standing inches away from your carpeted floor. His strong calves, back, and arms he developed from his many nights of salsa dancing to bull wrangling bulls, his well maintained body steadied yours in midair. You were light as a feather. As his brilliant shimmering greens connected to yours he saw the bags that had formed under your eyes. He noticed that your skill was missing its usual bright glow. He also felt that you were lighter than you should have been.

“Mi amigo(o)… ¿Qué paso? (My friend what happened?)

He removed some of the hair that had flown into your eyes during your dissent to the ground.

“I’ve finally sent off my completed manuscript to my publisher.” You say in an exhausted tone. You’d been up for the past 48 hours in order to meet your deadline.

Antonio playfully picks you up bridal style and carries you back into your apartment.

“Come! Let me make you breakfast with churros. It’s time to celebrate!” His intoxicating sunshine spread warmth and energy through your body and soul. You needed this after being in the frigid depths of your soul collecting fragments of pain, tears, and shells of your former selves to gain insight and perspective. The journey to the emotional depths below left you exhausted and burning low.

“It must have been a long trip exploring the dark parts of your soul huh Y\N?”

He’s going to want to make sure you have nothing but food, fun, and relaxation. There was no better place to do that than Donostia-San Sebastian. The picturesque beaches, blue skies, and magical city that had bright lavender stars that twinkled at night. Prepare to have the best red wine from La Rioja region and all the best food from the Pintxo tours. What a better way to shake your sorrows than with food and booze.

Antonio popped in one of his breakfast churros as he patiently waited for you to pick your pinchos for the evening. He adored the way life flooded back into your (color) eyes as you gleefully sipped on some Txakoli wine. It was sweet and refreshing just like this whole impromptu trip for you to celebrate the completion of your book. He looked at the small bites that he’d like to share with you just in case there was something you hadn’t tried yet.

“How does it feel?”

“To be done? Amazing. I didn’t actually think I was going to get it done. All things considered… and with all the obstacles in my way… I never thought I would have…”

“The ability to do amazing things? Like have your book be on top 10 trending?” He shows you his phone on one of the top book vendor websites and your book managed to steal the #8 spot.

You chuckle as his big goofy grin. It soon changed into a bright toothy smile that was carved from proclean made from the God of the sun.

A smile reaches your own face when you realize that you had solid confirmation that your suffering was paying off.

For the longest time you’d been wading through the open sea. The intense feelings of grief you sifted through without a paddle. It had been chucked away as your heart inter-mingled with the familiar feelings of desperation, despair, and being agonized and eaten alive by feelings of inadequacy.

Antonio boooed your nose to bring you back to the present shoreline with him. Your bubble of loneliness had busted by the fresh Txangurro that was quickly approaching your lips. The crisp cool delicate crab meat tantalized your tastebuds. You couldn’t help but allow your senses to be soothed by the sensational food from the sea.

“You’re cute when you’ve had a chance to relax.” He poked at your cheek as you chewed. You weren’t able to hid your blush that rushed across your face like a raging wildfire.

“Thanks.” You smile at him in return.

[keymeadoww]

Culture

Fandom: ITSV

Pairing: Pavitr Prabhakar x Slavic! Spider-person! GN! reader

Pronouns: they/them

Warnings: google-translated language (translations are at the end)

Word Count: 888

A/N: re-Posted from my old account. This was originally a request from someone on my old acc.

A grin erupted on their face as the wind blew past their ears. Swinging through the city of Mumbattan was always their favorite thing to do, especially after not being here in a week. Their appearance was sure to stir up some talk amongst the locals, but at this point, they didn’t really care. They had more important places to be.

With a final web shooting from their wrist, they landed on a light fixture, directly in front of their boyfriend’s window. With a slightly upbeat rhythm on the glass, the window opened, revealing the beautiful smile of Pavitr. 

“You’re here early.” He said with a grin, welcoming them into his bedroom.

They pouted jokingly, “Am I not allowed to be early to see my favorite person?” 

“Of course not, mera pyaar.” He laughed. “Only teasing.” He stared at them for a moment before turning back to his desk. “Hold on, just one minute. I have to finish this essay. I was supposed to be done by now.”

They hummed, walking closer and propping their head up with their fist, “What’s it about?”

He groaned, “We were tasked to choose a country from the Middle-East and write about its customs and culture. I chose Poland.”

Their eyes lit up, “And you didn’t ask me for help, what the hell, dude!” They exclaimed, playfully hitting his shoulder.

Pavitr frowned, “What do you mean?”

“My family is from Poland, dingus.” His mouth formed an ‘o’ shape as he took in this information. “I can help you, if you want!” They thought for a second before grinning widely, “We can turn it into a game, and we can both learn each other’s culture while doing so!” 

Pavitr thought about it before nodding excitedly, “Yeah! That sounds so much fun.”

Within minutes, paper and pens were scattered on the floor and Pavitr and his partner sat across from one another. The game that had been settled on was, quite lamely, just 20 questions (In all honesty, neither of them could think of another game to incorporate facts about their culture).

The pair were both excited. “Can I go first?” Pavitr asked, holding up a piece of paper where he wrote down a bunch of questions for his partner. They nodded, smiling widely. “Alright. What are the national dishes of the Slavic culture?”

They shook their head slightly, indicating the question was half-right. “Well, Polish foods can include pierogi, which are kind-of like dumplings where dough is wrapped around a savory or sweet filling before being boiled, and zurek, which is a rye soup containing smoked meats, typically sausages.” I grinned, “But, for Slavic culture as a whole, there’s sarma, which is a cabbage roll stuffed with meats like veal or ground pork.” Their eyes lit up again, “Also, there’s zhurek! Zhurek is a kind of soup, I guess? It’s made of oats and dark bread. It sits for three days before its boiled with meat and vegetables. My Mama makes it when it's cold outside!” 

Pavitr nodded, practically clinging to each word they said. “So Slavic isn’t just Poland?”

“O Boże, no. There’s Slovenia, Belarus, Bulgaria, Ukraine, Serbia, Slovakia, Finland, and others!” They chuckled. “Each is considered Slavic, but they also have their own subculture within them.” They leaned forward, supporting their weight by their palms hitting the ground. “Now, my turn!” They paused, thinking of a good question. “Okay, I’m just going to steal your question.”

He pouted, “What, no! Make up your own.”

“Ugh, fine…” A moment later, they thought of it. “What kind of traditional outfits are there?”

His pout left, leaving behind a faint smile. “Oh, well, there’s a lot. There’s Sherwanis, or kurta pajamas, or even Achkan; as well as Sari, Angarkha, and Phiran.” They nodded along, planning to look up what they look like later in the evening. “Okay, do you have any traditional instruments?”

“Well, there’s the lira korbowa, which is more commonly known as the Hurdy-Gurdy nowadays.” They said, thinking about the topics their babcia taught them. While other places may not celebrate their heritage and culture very much, it was very important in their family. “My favorite is the kozioł biały! It’s like a bagpipe.” 

The night went on, questions were asked on both sides. Eventually, it passed the original 20 questions they had settled on. They were both interested in learning about the other’s culture. It was interesting and the eagerness they both had was endearing. Eventually, the sun was dropping below the horizon, and it was about time for Y/N to return to their own dimension.

“It was fun doing this, priya.” Pavitr said as the goodbyes started. “Your culture is so amazing, I didn’t expect this out of today.”

They nodded in agreement, “I think so too! I never expected your culture to be so beautiful.” They smiled dreamily. “I hope we can do this again. It was so… refreshing.” They leaned over and hugged their boyfriend for a moment. “I’ll see you soon, kochanie.”

“I’ll miss you-” He said, in a sing-song voice. They laughed, shoving him away playfully.

“It’ll be like a few days, stop that! If you wanted to come sooner, you could always just come visit me first.” They grinned before slipping their mask on and preparing to jump out the window. “Do widzenia!”

Translations, as provided by both the requester and by Google Translate!

Mera pyaar = my love

kozioł biały = white goat (instrument)

Priya = dear (aff.)

Kochanie = honey (aff.)

Do widzenia = goodbye/bye/any form of bye

[fitzrove]

41, 47 and 48 for the ask 😊

41. Share an unpopular opinion about musical theatre.

Translations are FUN AND GOOD because they give us more content to chew on!!! In Finland especially there seems to be a pathological fear of translations among some musical fans (this was a frequently mentioned worry online re: the new amateur production of Heathers - the translation was excellent and people noticed that, but it's annoying that they were surprised every time) and to some extent I get that because we have a few very bad translators/lyricists actively working rn JSKDKDL. But yeah, overall I think people should have a more curious relationship to translations! Some of my favourite ones are Finnish TdV (naturally), French Elisabeth (!!) and German Evita (Kunze popped off ksksks).

47. Is there a musical that you looked forward to seeing that disappointed you? Why did it fail to live up to your expectations?

The only show I've walked out of midway through (at intermission) was Something Rotten 😭 I don't like Finnish outdoor summer theatre humor and there was a lot of that going on dkslls, and I think comedy musicals can be hard to get right in general. (Not a blanket criticism - one of my fave shows is The Producers and the prod I saw in Leipzig early this year nailed everything!). Also I dislike when there are too many ballads and all the ballads in Something Rotten are bland and forgettable 😭 I had seen some viral clips of Christian Borle as Shakespeare and he was great so I was expecting similar antics, but the unnamed beloved (not by me I don't know him kskskd) musical performer playing him in Finland that year was sick that day or something and his vocals were super off 😭 My dad and I drove 5 hours to see that show btw so it was extra disappointing hahahah.

48. What's the worst musical you've ever seen? What made it so bad?

It's either Something Rotten or ÅST (Turku, Finland) Dracula (2022) kdkdlsls. I'm really discerning and don't take risks with shows much (I will try to make sure I'll enjoy the experience and won't force myself to go if I know I won't have fun) but I assumed I would like Dracula (I like vampires!) and it was just a lot of very repetitive songs, too much talking, #deep messaging that fell flat, and not enough theatricality even when it could've been added and made things great (I did love Dracula's brides in this prod but they should've been allowed to do more...!). Idk, it took itself too seriously in places I wished it hadn't, and didn't take itself seriously when I thought it would've made sense. Also I had recently watched the Wildhorn Dracula proshot and was comparing them unfavourably in my head ksksks. Like, Wildhorn Dracula is flawed, but it has solid songs and the 2007 (?) proshot cast is extremely star-studded and everyone is giving their all lmao.

[glorious-blackout]

My Year in Gigs

Seeing as we're nearing the end of the year, I thought I'd look back on the amazing shows I've been lucky enough to attend in 2023 and resurrect my Post-Concert Depression with a definitive ranking 😅💚

Eurovision Semi Final One - Live Show: Absolute dream-come-true experience. Loved every minute, the crowd was so kind and supportive towards every act, and I got to see most of my faves steal the show and advance to the finals 🥰 

Muse (Dublin) : My second Muse gig of the year was even more of a blast than the first! Absolutely nothing could have prepared me for the joy of finally seeing Butterflies and Hurricanes and Apocalypse Please live 😭 

Queens of the Stone Age: Josh Homme arrived onstage, called us all crazy motherfuckers, expressed a sincere desire to get fucked in the ass by a Scottish dude, then called his guitarist a 500-year-old vampire before flirting shamelessly with him. 10/10, no notes. Oh yeah, and the music slapped too.

Käärijä: Half hilarious stand-up show, half incredible party with insanely fun, energetic songs. One of the most enjoyable gigs I’ve ever been to and I would pay good money to fly to Finland solely to see Käärijä play a gig on his home turf. 

Muse (Bellahouston Park): My boys were incredible as ever and I had a genuinely great time at this gig, but it gets demoted a little due to the torrential rain cutting our setlist short and making me ill 😅 Would have been an easy third place had technical difficulties not robbed me of the chance to see Verona live... 

Go_A: If you’ve never been to a Ukrainian Folk-Rave before, I can highly recommend it! Go_A were simply phenomenal with great energy that had us dancing all night. Highlight of the show was Ihor delivering a badass flute solo while Kateryna went backstage to recharge her awesomeness. 

Sparks: These guys have been making consistently excellent music for decades and still have more energy and enthusiasm than most young bands could ever dream of possessing. Such a wonderful set filled with amazingly quirky songs both old and new. 

Joker Out: It says a lot about the high quality of shows on this list that I’ve had to rank these guys so low. In any other year they’d be a clear contender for top three! The energy from both the band and crowd were insane, the boys were clearly in awe of having a venue full of Scots singing along with them in Slovene, and I need the Demoni scream injected directly into my veins 😈 

Arctic Monkeys: This ranking has almost nothing to do with the band themselves who delivered a great show, but looking back on it I’ve just had to accept that I wasn’t having a good time during a large chunk of this gig. The crowd in my section were rowdy to the point where I couldn’t hear or see anything and I was wasting all my energy trying not to get shoved. My depression was also playing up to the point where I was struggling to get excited over songs I dearly love and I just felt unwell and burnt out all night. The second half was a definite improvement as we’d moved to a calmer area by the time they brought out The Car songs, but by the end I was just exhausted and desperate for home. Would see them again in a heartbeat in a more intimate indoor venue, but I think I’ll avoid any of their big stadium tours in future 😅 

Busted: Honestly, I had a much nicer time at this gig compared to Arctic Monkeys. The nostalgia alone of singing along to ‘Thunderbirds Are Go’ at the top of my lungs is always a special moment. But I can’t pretend for a second that Busted’s music comes anywhere close to the quality of Arctic Monkeys’ recent output, so they’re a very reluctant last place on my list of generally incredible gig experiences 😅 

Best Support Act: Nova Twins by a country mile. I may have fallen slightly in love with Georgia and her incredible bass skills. It was easy to see why Muse invited them on tour because they seemed so at-ease in a massive arena 😊  

Here's to (hopefully) more amazing gigs in 2024! I'd love to hear about some of the great shows that you guys attended this year as well 🥰💖

[thenhlteaissuperhot]

I really like the NHL (and, where I'm from, it's the only way to watch any hockey rip me), but I do think it's a shame how packed their schedule is that doesn't leave time for the players and the teams to do anything else.

I would love to have a world championship of teams, for example, put like the Boston Bruins up against the Tampereen Tappara. Hell, even allow the players to represent their countries in the Olympics which hasn't happened since Sochi 2014 if memory serves.

Idk, I think the guys are too talented to be in such an insular league. They deserve to have a bit more "international fun". And it'd be highly entertaining for people watching too.

I wholeheartedly understand you, however, this entire matter is extremely complicated with too many sides and opinions involved, and frankly, it all comes down to money at the end of the day.

The NHLPA - an association representing the players' interests - has been urging the league to allow the players to go play at the Olympics and hold a World Cup again for years at this point, however, both those tournaments would force the league to take a break for a certain amount of time (= lose revenue, which they would have earned if they normally continued with their game schedule, instead of taking a break to allow the players to temporarily leave), and there would be a ton of money involved in it (the one earned from broadcasting, the one that players would be paid, the one that someone would have to pay if a player got injured...), which is the point they essentially can't agree on, especially in the case of the World Cup that would be organized by the NHL, unlike the Olympics that is its own competition with its own organizers, rules, etc., as both of these organizations (the NHL and the NHLPA) are greedy as hell and want the bigger portion of earned bucks to go their way.

The World Cup - where teams consist solely of NHL players - then also faces the problem that there could currently be only four teams (USA, Canada, Finland, Sweden) as only those four nations have enough players in the league to build a team (and aren't politically problematic at the moment = Russia), which is a concept that definitely wouldn't be taken well by a ton of people (me included) as it would mean that guys like Pastrnak, Necas, Draisaitl, Stützle, Seider, Hischier, Josi, and so many others wouldn't be able to play at that tournament...

If they decided that they would allow players from Europe to join the Cup so more teams would enter, they would need to invite IIHF into the discussion as they represent the European leagues, which would be another powerful and stubborn voice making the matter even more complicated. Plus, the IIHF wouldn't be keen on having a World Cup so close to the World Championship as it would take the spotlight and fans away from them.

Really, I could talk ages about this thing, but the conclusion is that as of right now, we have to settle for the playoff-eliminated players sometimes going to the Worlds and the Global Series, which is hopefully going to keep the format they had this season in Sweden with the four teams playing four games.

[badhockeymom]

if you have any more fun tidbits of info to translate from the teuvo/kime interview please do! i always enjoy hearing my favorite players talk about fun stuff rather than hockey all of the time, i just of course, don’t understand finnish 😂

Hi anon! This has been sitting in my inbox but now I got the time to translate a little more.

Teuvo has been twice on the U20 Junior Team Finland. Teuvo admits that his team didn't play too well in the U20 Junior World Championships in Russia in 2013, despite having players like Sasha Barkov, Olli Määttä and Artturi Lehkonen on the team.

Antti: Next year, you had the most points on Jnior Team Finland, scoring 15 goals in 7 games - no, points, not 15 goals.

Teuvo: (chuckling) 15 goals?

(Kimmo laughs in the background)

Antti: No, 15 goals in 7 games, for you - dream on. But in 7 games, 2 + 13, you were the most effective player on the team. The colossus from Turku, now Philly D-man Ristolainen, scored 3 goals in those games, the last against Sweden on OT, and you could say, so we won the World Championship.

Teuvo: Yes, I have great memories from that. The previous year, our roster looked great on paper, but the games didn't go our way, but the year we won, we didn't have as big names but we played together really well an got to surprised Sweden on their home ice, it was an amazing experience.

Other tidbits:

Teuvo says he's always been proud to represent Finland, but he's only been on the team for one men's worlds bc his teams have made the NHL playoffs so often. Says that Olympics would be a huge dream but isn't sure if he makes the team.

He was happy to be drafted by the Chicago Blackhawks (18th). "I had looked up to Patrick Kane, and it was great to get to see him up close."

Kimmo: Had you heard any rumours that you might be picked by some other team?

Teuvo: Not really, I had been told that I'd get picked top 10, but I doubted that, and I was right.

Antti: Did you dominate the interviews?

Teuvo: That may be the reason I dropped to 16th.

(Kimmo and Antti go through the names of the top picks of Teuvo's draft year: Nail Yakupov, Alex Galchenyuk, Tom Wilson, Tomas Hertl…)

Antti: After Teukka, because Chicago didn't need a goaltender, they let an interesting name slip by: Andrei Vasilevsky went to Tampa at #19. That's one good boy.

Kimmo: You can see there how hard it is for the teams to make the right choice, even when we speak about first round picks that are top tier talent. The teams don't always hit the mark.

Teuvo: I guess Chicago missed the mark too, when they sold me right away.

Teuvo was back and forth between the NHL and AHL in the season 2014/15, and hated staying in Rockford, calling his agent and begging to be sent anywhere else, like back home.

"Then someone was injured, and I got called up, they recovered and I went down for a week again. Then Kane was injured and I got up for the rest of the season. He came back in the playoffs, and Kime came into the team."

Antti: How did you two first meet on the Blackhawks?

Kimmo: I can tell because I don't think Teukka remembers. I was traded there, and you came to pick me up from my hotel and gave me a lift to my first practice. Do you remember?

Teuvo: Now that you say it, yes, I remember some.

Kimmo: There the young man drove in his car, and I got in next to the driver. We took off towards the practice rink. I tried to ask Teuvo all kinds of questions, but got short and quiet answers. Otherwise Teuvo was a confident young man, but the way he talked was all… "well, let's talk more some other time."

Teuvo: Maybe so.

Kimmo: But I remember that I was nervous going to that rink, even though I was 40 years old and had played a few games, I was nervous. There were great players, Stanley Cup winners in that locker room. The stairs - the entrance from the garage to the locker room was through a staircase - and the first picture that I saw on the wall when I opened the door to the stairs, was a wall high photo of Patrick Kane scoring the winning goal in 2010, and my back right there, my jersey with TIMONEN across my back, watching the puck go five-hole.

Teuvo: The reverse psychology worked, you got the cup.