#if I listen to Other Me it will be the 3rd time I restart

[utopianoverlord]

me: I'm the closest I've ever been to finishing my first full playthrough of Baldur's Gate 3. The end has got to be less than 20 hours away. also me: now is the perfect time to start a new playthrough

[insertdisc5]

TIMELOOP GAMES REAL!??!??!!

hi i made a timeloop game called In Stars and Time and this is a whole post about other timeloop games you can also play.

some i liked. some i loved. some i didnt like. all are worth playing and like also listen the second friends and family heard i was making a timeloop game, i got bombarded with timeloop media recs. so here is a sampler in no particular order! NOTE: knowing some of those games are timeloop games is a spoiler. but. you are here. for timeloop games. so timeloop games you shall have

Outer Wilds

If you need to play one timeloop game, it's this one. Please play it blind. I swear to god you won't regret it. it's timeloops in space!!! it makes you think!!! there are so many "HOLY SHIT WAIT I GET IT NOW" moments!!! please just go play it please please please. some of the best environmental storytelling in a game. so many hints in plain sight. JUST PLAY IT

[way more timeloop games under the cut]

Oxenfree

I didn't actually like Oxenfree very much. But also it stayed in my mind for weeks after I finished playing it. that's how you know it's a good game. I really enjoyed the dialogue system in this, and how much the loop affected the characters. and it got so spooky!!!

Hikeback

i'm in the credits for this one because i was one of the inspirations heehee <3 i loved playing it… short little game about trust, self-sabotage, and never-ending cycles. highly recommend it

The Stanley Parable

Listen babes it absolutely counts. I replayed it a bunch while making ISAT, and I got immensely inspired by the dialogue, and how it catches you off guard sometimes? You get SO SO used to the narrator's "All of his coworkers were gone. What could it mean?" at the start of every game, and then for no reason instead it says "A soft wind blew outside and perhaps rain started, and if it did it stopped shortly after. Stanley hoped that he would one day see weather." like WHAT THE FUUUUCK IM GETTING CHILLS JUST THINKING ABOUT IT

12 minutes

ok i know we all made fun of this game when it came out because the story is batshit insane HOWEVER!!!!!!!! i REALLY REALLY LOVED how doing the same actions multiple times would have slightly different outcomes. If you battle someone, the first time you get knocked out in one hit and the loop restarts. the second time you try, you evade the first hit, but get knocked out. the third time, you last a little bit longer, and a little bit longer, until you can pretty much hold your own against your enemy. And it applies to so many things in this. Retrying different things to see how they would change was a delight.

this game is also so bad its almost good, and if you're interested you HAVE to play it with friends so you can yell about how bad it is together.

Zero Escape

it's just a good series ok. escape rooms, and also time loops! the 3rd game in particular goes deep into The Math of how timeloops would work, which i think is interesting. sometimes timeloop games just go "yeah you can timeloop dont worry about it" and others go "OK HERE'S THE HOW AND WHY IT WORKS" and both are interesting!

START AGAIN: a prologue

this game has almost everything i could wish for in a timeloop game. depression. lines repeating. dying brings you back. you get new levels and skills because you're aware of the loops but your party members don't. so you get overpowered next to them and they Notice. just. party members who dont know about the loops still noticing something is wrong. you are acting differently than yesterday. you look sad. you are acting weird. you know too much. how did you know where the keys were? how did you know this would happen? what's wrong? talk to us. and oh my god this game has a sequel? which will probably have Actually Everything i could wish for in a timeloop game? i can't wait. who made this? (its me i made this)

Ghost Trick

ok its not really time loops and more time travel and only for 4 minutes HOWEVER!!!! you should play it. you know you should play it because everyone says so. so go play it

Elsinore

im sure its a great game but ive never seen/read hamlet. so thats a failing on my part. because. you absolutely need to know hamlet to understand this game lol i did like the whole "make sure to find out which events are Important and which ones aren't so you can have The Perfect Loop"! very fun. or it would be. if i. knew. hamlet

The Forgotten City

a friend kept recommending it to me and i didn't like it. its good! just not for me. but if you like to think a lot you should play it. another "make sure to find out which events are Important and which ones aren't so you can have The Perfect Loop" game

Gnosia

Gonna be real. I didn't like the story very much, in part because the game lets you choose your gender but still acts like youre a straight dude. HOWEVER the gameplay was very inspiring to me. Every loop is pretty much just an among us meeting, and you have to find out who the imposters are or everyone dies and you loop again. and sometimes you ARE the imposter, so you need to make sure no one finds out. or you loop again. rules get added as time goes on too. i REALLY loved how quickly the loops stacked up. seeing "loop 100" was such a nice moment. ive been here so long! i tried to recreate that somewhat for my own game…

Loop Hero

Technically not a timeloop game, but a loop game. It still absolutely counts because it's about loops and memories, and what are loops and memories together if not a timeloop. You have your little guy going through a closed loop, battling enemies, getting cards, and making the world whole again by using those cards to make forests, towns, lakes come to life. I am famously a Story First Gameplay Second kinda player, but I did play this 45h for the gameplay alone. I learned a lot about battle balancing and randomness by playing this!

You and Me and Her: A Love Story

you know doki doki litterature club? this came before. and one might say. it's. better. in some parts (and i say that as someone who LOVED ddlc!) i won't say much except it's a dating sim but with timeloops. with a lot of what it implies. why are you dating this girl a second time? a third time? a fourth time? choose another one already! it was such a fascinating game to play, and is incredibly meta in the way it talks about dating sims and visual novels. had a lot of very impactful moments however, i played the hentai version. some of the worst, most cringy sex ive ever read and heard. however, one might say the sex is an integral part of the game and its deconstruction of hentai/dating sims…? no. just play the steam version which doesnt have the horrible sex scenes and you will have a great time i think (or play the hentai version. if you like. to watch. horrible sex scenes???)

Higurashi

knowing this is a timeloop game is a massive spoiler. however, this game is more than a decade old, so,,, honestly if you havent played higurashi what are you doing. i know i just spoiled you on it but i was also spoiled on it and i can GUARANTEE YOU that you will still have an amazing time. one more thing. you gotta play with the original sprites or you're a fake fan

I Was a Teenage Exocolonist

starts as a visual novel/management sim/dating sim kinda thing, until you realize that every replay is a new timeline. so the main character can save people, because they remembered about them dying in a previous one. i wish the timeloop would affect the game/story more (let me find a certain character quicker once ive found them in a previous playthrough!!!), but timeloop aside, it's a very fun game to play!!!

that's it! hope you will find a nice timeloop game you like

[ind1col1te]

3rd Time's The Charm - Social Media!AU

Summary: Fans of the famous idol Gojo Satoru assume you're just a random fan being delusional, by replying to all his posts, until he replies to yours...

FC: none

A/N: kinda nervous, since I'm restarting my blog once more, but hopefully it'll get better over time! Low-key lost motivation at the end, so I might edit it later to add more but low-key idk, photo credits go to the original creators!

gojo_satoru

liked by get0_suguruu, shokooo, yourusername, and 82092 others

gojo_satoru thank you for the awesome night Tokyo! Can't wait to see you all in Seoul next! 💙

view all comments

user1 OMG I WAS THERE AND HE WINKED AT ME AAAAAA

user2 the way my panties dropped the second I clicked on this post

user3 omgomgomgomg HES COMING TO SEOUL

user4 IKR I NEARLY KILLED MYSELF WHEN I SAW I CANT WAIT

yourusername pls marry me I need to get you pregnant😩

user5 respectfully shut the fuck up you nasty weirdo

user2 ew tf that's weird stop

gojo_satoru

liked by get0_suguruu, shokooo, yourusername, and 82092 others

gojo_satoru get ready Seoul, I'm coming! 🇰🇷💙

view all comments

user3 MARRY ME

user5 I CANT WAIT EEEEE

yourusername let me suck your dick pls pls pls 🙏

user2 oh! That's not...

user1 ok tf why r u everywhere STOP

yourusername you guys aren't matching my freak rn😔😔

yourusername

liked by bestfriend1, bestfriend2, gojo_satoru, and 78 others

yourusername life :)

view all comments

friend1 don't listen to the haters, you're better than them 💙

friend2 you'll be ok, people r mean sometimes! ❤❤❤❤

bestfriend1 love you but CHECK YOUR LIKES

gojo_satoru pretty ;)

yourusername OMG AKSHSOEEJENDJDJEJEODKWAKAK

2 weeks later...

gojo_satoru

liked by yourusername, get0_suguruu, shokooo, and 82092 others

gojo_satoru mine

tagged: @yourusername

comments are limited

[vro0m]

vro0m's rewatch - 173/332

2016 Monaco GP

(Buckle up there’s a lot of gifs in this one)

Well now that Spain made me lose my mind it's only fair for the follow-up to be the dullest race on the calendar. Oh wait actually maybe not? 

It's wet. They're talking of changeable conditions. Also weirdly, it's Ricciardo on pole. Huh. I can only hope this race surprises me. Interestingly, Max crashed in Q1 so he's starting for the pitlane while Daniel is starting from pole. I'm gonna be interested in that dynamic. 

The Mercs have fuel pressure issues if I understand right? Of course we're gonna have a segment on them after what happened in the last race. We see images from Monaco 2014, the controversial quali mistake from Nico. "We're not friends." Lewis leaning on his shoulder and Nico getting away from him. The Belgium 2014 crash. Merc's 2014 title win. Lewis' 2014 title win. China 2015, when Nico thought Lewis backed him into Seb during the race. Monaco 2015, when the team lost Lewis' the race. Merc's 2015 title win. Lewis' 2015 title win. The cap throw. And of course their last crash. 

Johnny interviews Lewis on the truck. He claims Lewis has been grumpy in the past few days. Lewis is surprised, or he feigns to be. He asks how he's been grumpy. Johnny says there's been people saying he doesn't look happy. Johnny hypothesises that it might be frustration because he wanted to be on the front row and it didn't work out. "Okay," Lewis says, half amused. Johnny says that's him still being grumpy with him. Which is insane. Lewis interrupts him. He says he's in a great mood, he's in Monaco, where he lives, and he gets to drive. As he waves to the crowd he points to children from the starlight foundation for hospitalised children. He says to Johnny not to listen to all the noise, "that's the problem with people, they just listen to what other people say." Johnny says in 2008 Lewis won from starting 3rd on the grid, where he's starting that day. Lewis says he got lucky that one time but he'll do what he can and get points.

The journalists are talking team orders now. Apparently Lewis hinted that they might have to rely on that if Nico and himself came together again. Brundle says of course if it turns out the Ferraris or the RedBulls become a threat for the title the team is gonna have to make decisions. 

On the truck Seb says he thinks they have a good car but we also hear him say it got worse and swearing during quali so. Yeah. Not too sure about that. 

Mmh and there's a problem with Max's car. They are hammering something on or off the car. Not good. 

I'm gonna skip Brundle's grid walk because it's never as annoying as in Monaco. 

The grid : Ricciardo, Nico, Lewis, Seb, Hulkenberg, Sainz, Perez, Kvyat, Alonso and Valtteri. 

And it's a safety car start!

It's just that wet. They're all on full wets then of course. Kvyat says his Toro Rosso is stuck on constant speed. He drops down the field even under safety car. He's back in the pits and a lap down. But he goes again. But then he says it still doesn't work. Over radio, Magnussen claims it's time they go racing, the track is ready. Lewis is also calling it. Okay! Safety car in at the end of lap 7. Kvyat is not allowed to unlap himself though which is stupid. 

Here we go! Ricciardo gets away and Lewis is close to Nico. Magnussen pits for inters! Crazy! Meanwhile Lewis almost put it in the wall in the hairpin AND A CAR HAS CRASHED?! Wait, is it on the other side of the wall…? I'm confused. It's Palmer. VSC. What happened? He's out and OK btw. The car is already hooked to the crane and lifted up, the two front wheels hanging pathetically under the car like a warm ball sack. Ohhh okay. Weird. So on the restart we see him coming down the hill with the two wheels already broken. He's just sliding down like it's on skis until it gets into the run off area and bumps against the barriers. Yeah he hit other barriers earlier. A lot of the midfield cars are getting on the inters. 

On lap 10, they go again, AGAIN. And still Ricciardo is ahead while Lewis is sticking to Nico's back. He's looking to overtake for sure. But well. It's Monaco. Jenson sets the fastest lap on inters! Yellow flags… It's Grosjean and Raikkonen into the barriers with minimal to no damage it seems. Ah nevermind Raikkonen just lost his front wing, it's stuck under his car. He's trying to get back to the pit anyway but at the exit of the tunnel it seems impossible and he retires in a run-off area. On the replay we see Raikkonen crashed by himself, then as he went again Massa ran into his back and as he went off into the barriers, Grosjean found himself stuck behind him. Seb pits for inters. More and more of them on inters. What is Merc doing. OH AND WE DIDN'T SEE IT HAPPEN BUT LEWIS IS AHEAD! He has 13 seconds to make up for to catch Daniel though. Oh ho it seems to have been team orders… I mean he immediately put 4 seconds between him and Nico so it's clearly the right call but it’s icky. Seb got ahead of Massa by cutting the chicane unintentionally so he gives the place back. Shortly after Hulkenberg almost collides with his rear in the hairpin. Lewis sets the fastest lap of the race. Still 13 seconds to Ricciardo but Nico lost 2 more seconds on him. 

On lap 20, Lewis is 12.7 seconds behind, then it's Nico, Sainz getting close to him, Perez not far behind, a big gap to Massa, followed by Seb, Hulkenberg, Alonso and Gutierrez still further down. The Merc mechanics are ready with inter tyres. But Lewis doesn't come in, so it'll be Nico. Yep. Out in P5. Massa pits as well. And that's two cars into the barriers! Kvyat and Magnussen, who almost backed away into another car. And Verstappen sets the fastest lap on inters now. Lewis needs to pit. Him and Daniel are the last ones on wets… And Ricciardo pits! And Lewis hasn't pitted?! WHY?! It's stupid af. Now Ricciardo is gaining so fast on him, setting fastest lap after fastest lap, while Ted reports the track is "bone dry". Daniel is less than 0.2 behind him… They think he's trying to go straight to the slicks. 

It's lap 30. Lewis, Daniel +0.7, Nico 26 seconds further down, Perez, Seb, Hulkenberg, Sainz, Alonso, Gutierrez, and Max, who started from the pitlane, is in the points. And Ericsson is the first one to get on the slicks. Perez follows. Then Jenson, Magnussen… Lewis is struggling. HE PITS. Ultrasofts! Do they think he can go to the end on these?! It's 46 laps!!! Everyone is pitting. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. NO FUCKING WAY. Ricciardo came in for the slicks but they weren't ready! The tyres weren't out! What a mistake! He's sitting there… It's a 13.6 stop! Unbelievable! Just as he gets in the pit exit, Lewis flies by at full speed! They are wheel to wheel after the chicane but Lewis gets away fast and he keeps the lead! Is he finally, FINALLY, gonna win his second Monaco GP?! Well there's still half a race to go, and Daniel isn't giving up! He's catching on Lewis! He attacks out of the tunnel, but Lewis defends. It's close, damn. I'm gonna be so stressed out. And he's caught in backmarkers… Seb sets the fastest lap. OH AND MAX IS IN THE BARRIERS! Virtual safety car. Meanwhile Nico is in P6. He's been held up during his pitstop to avoid an unsafe release and he lost a place to Seb. They go again and Daniel tries a move before the tunnel but almost loses it. Then he tries in the tunnel. Lewis cut the chicane! They're wheel to wheel! But again, it's Monaco. On his on-board we see him waving his hands furiously. It's true Lewis defended aggressively. Especially given he'd just made a mistake. Radio : "wtf was that?" Daniel asks. 

Lap 40. Lewis, Daniel +1.380. Perez, Seb, Alonso, Rosberg, Hulkenberg, Sainz, Jenson, Gutierrez. The incident between Lewis and Daniel is under investigation. Ricciardo is losing time slightly. Interestingly, the commentators point out, Perez and Seb are on the softs, not the ultrasofts like Lewis, not the supersofts like Ricciardo. It's pretty clear they can go to the end on these when we're unsure about the ultrasofts. Lewis sets the fastest lap. Ricciardo is gaining again. He's under a second away again. But Lewis responds. No further action for their previous scuffle. Lewis sets the fastest lap again. But Daniel responds! But behind them drivers are picking up the pace as well… Specifically Perez in P3 is faster than them both at this point. 

It's lap 50. Perez sets the fastest lap. Lewis, Ricciardo +0.8, Perez +8.9, Seb +2.3, then Alonso is 30 seconds down, followed by Nico, Hulkenberg, Sainz, Jenson and Massa. And the two Saubers, that we just heard fighting over the radio about team orders, collided! They go again. VSC. One of them pits. VSC ending. Ricciardo is so close… Nasr's Sauber is back in the pits. Ricciardo attacks out of the tunnel again! But Lewis defends again! A few corners later, Daniel locks up. He loses time a bit. We breathe. Lewis sets the fastest lap. Nasr is out of the race. There's a train behind Alonso btw. Nico is still stuck half a second behind Alonso and must be getting as frustrated as Ricciardo. Ericsson, the second Sauber, also retires. Seb sets the fastest lap. 20 laps to go. Even when it's somewhat interesting this race is too long. Daniel picks up the pace but locks up again. 

Lap 60. Lewis, Ricciardo +0.9, Perez +9.1, Seb +2.7, Alonso, Nico, Hulkenberg, Sainz, Jenson, Massa. Ohhh on a replay we see Nico overtook Alonso but then cut the chicane so he gave the place back. There may or may not be rain right at the end of the race… Seb sets the fastest lap again. Ohhh he made a mistake… He lost 2 seconds to Perez because of a lock up. 10 laps to go. Ted says he asked the pirelli guy if Lewis can go to the end on these tyres and the man answered idk I didn't expect them to make it this far so. Yeah. Reassuring. VSC : something has flown on the track apparently from one of the balconies above. It's over really quickly.

Lap 70. Daniel is 2 seconds behind and Perez and Vettel lost out with the VSC, they've fallen back a bit. Alonso, Nico, Hulkenberg, Sainz, Jenson, Massa. Of course it hasn't changed. Alonso reports some raindrops on his visor. Lewis is starting to lap the top 10! He's not under pressure from Daniel either. He's really gonna win Monaco again. 5 laps to go. Holding my breath. He's gonna be so happy about this. Seb is just one second away from the podium… That would be nice… Come on baby. 4 laps to go. Seb is 0.7 seconds away. 3 laps to go. Seb lost a bit of time. 2 laps to go. It's starting to rain, Sainz says. It's too late for it to make a difference, surely. Final lap! 

It's the end of the race! 

LEWIS WINS IN MONACO! And that's his first win in 2016 as well, damn. Somehow Hulkenberg ultimately finished ahead of Nico. He takes his time around the track, Lewis. Crowd pleaser. 

He is so happy he's basically crowd surfing his crew. He receives congratulations from Justin Bieber and it's extremely cringe. He sets down his stuff, puts the cap on and then hugs his crew AGAIN. Goes back to chat with Bieber. Shakes Perez’ hand. Daniel is unhappy. Understandably. Face closed, shaking his head. Lewis gets his trophy. Throws it HIGH!

When Daniel gets his trophy Lewis also shakes his hand, tells him a word or two. Anthem time.

They pose for the photo. 

Lewis gives the champagne to Bieber to taste then generously drowns the mechanics. Ricciardo is not taking part. Checo is hugging his guys. Lewis crouches on his step instead of coming down to talk to Brundle.

He thanks everyone and says he's at a loss for words, he prayed for a time like this and it came.

The stint length was crazy and it was close. He congratulated Daniel for how well he drove all weekend, he calls him one of the best drivers he raced against. He says he's looking forward to many more battles. He knows he's unhappy because it's always disappointing to start one pole and finish second but he should be proud of how well he drove. 

While Ricciardo's interview starts, Perez and Lewis clinks bottles behind his head. The "tink" of the glass is heard loud and clear. 

When they get back to Lewis, Brundle reminds him of the gap in the championship : 26 points. "Game on," he says. Lewis chuckles with a hollow voice.

He says he hasn't even thought about that yet. He says he forgot to congratulate Sergio, who did an amazing job to come up from where he was. He says of course they're still in the battle, there's a long long way to go. "Just when you feel it couldn't get any worse it gets better." You can't ever give up. 

Apparently Horner refuses to give an interview. Toto is beaming though. He still says he's sorry about the RBR boys mishap because you never want this to happen to anybody. I mean. Sure Toto. He says they had issues with brake temperatures on both cars that caused problems every restart but Nico suffered more from it than Lewis. He also confirms Nico letting Lewis ahead was a team order. Simon says the gap is 24, not 26. He's confident for Montréal, but the others are catching up to them for sure. 

Nico says the decision to let Lewis ahead was pretty straight forward. He doesn't make a big deal out of it. It was clear he was off the pace while Lewis still had a chance to win. From the team's point of view it's simple. 

Lewis is asked how this win ranks in his career. He chuckles. It feels like the best race ever but he's had a lot of races and can't remember all of them.

He says this one he feels in his heart he earned. It didn't feel like a stroke of luck, he did the most. He chuckles again. He used every skill he had to stay ahead of Daniel, OH RIGHT. IT'S HIS 44TH WIN. IN MONACO. Ohhh symbols, symbols. He says it feels like a long time he hasn't won. About the call to stay out when everybody was putting for inters he says the mixed conditions are generally his favourite, although he wasn't the fastest in these conditions today, Daniel was, because they had more downforce this weekend. He says he decided to stay out. (Earlier Toto said the pit wall had a whole conversation about it and it was a team decision, Lewis being part of the team.) He says he was told to box and he said no because if he did he'd have to do it again 10-15 laps later given how fast the track was drying.

He says when he came out though it was like driving on ice. He's eager to get back to them and have a drink and enjoy.

The journalist says he said earlier in the weekend the ultrasofts weren't soft enough for him but now they're probably good enough? He says he's glad… He breathes out with this look of wonder he has when he's excited.

He says he had a long way to go on these tyres. The crazy thing is you don't know how long these tyres can go but there's a number of things you can do in the car to try to make them last longer. Daniel was picking up the pace and he was trying to speed up and slow down and "just tryna keep them sweet" but you never know when they'll drop off the cliff. It felt like it went on forever. He says it's a short lap here but 47 laps is a lot. Oh my god. He crosses his hands on his heart, raises his shoulders. "I'm grateful to got them…" He shakes his fist slightly, he's a child. "So happy!" 

And then it's time for the final interview while Lewis is trying to walk through the paddock. For some reason he pushes Johnny away, "Hey get out of here man!" Johnny laughs.

"Good seeing you smile buddy," he says.

I guess Lewis was a bit grumpy after that pre race interview after all. Lewis says he doesn't know how the race looked but it felt incredible. "one of the hardest races." The rain is so tricky and Monaco is horrible in the rain. Johnny says he was under a lot of pressure fighting Ricciardo, the conditions, he must feel so relieved to finally win. He says unfortunately he doesn't feel relieved at all. He says he went out there and took what he needed to get. He doesn't feel lucky or… "No no no but it's been a long time," Johnny says. Lewis is still talking "... Or 'Thank God' , I don't feel like that. Of course it's been a long time but today – thank you man," he interrupts himself to answer a guy congratulating him on the way. "I just feel incredibly proud of the job we did, of the decision I made to stay out, not crashing, you know, with all the opportunities out there I could've for sure crashed but I just feel very proud." Eventually, prompted by Simon this time, he agrees it's been a long time. He says it's one of the hardest races to win. He's again interrupted by someone congratulating him on the way. "Merci," he says. "One of the hardest races to win," he continues. "I mean why is it so damn hard." They chuckle. "But I love it." – "You like hard," Johnny says. Which uh. 🥴 Anyway. They're doing this interview while walking up narrow metallic stairs, it's awful. He says he'll be celebrating with friends that night. He says they'll definitely party, the music is already going.

He looks at the camera. "Blessings to everyone, thanks so much for the support."

A few minutes later we see Merc taking the team photo. As Ted repeats, Nico really offered Lewis this win in a sense. And that's such an interesting thing to point out in their dynamic. 

[geographerdose]

Celestial Screenshots Destined For Fame, Pt. 14:

Natasha Lyonne

Natasha Lyonne is hands down one of my favorite actresses. I love her authenticity, directness and straightforward, non-bullshit demeanor but like coming from a good place— like you can tell she’s a good person despite the challenges she’s faced or maybe even because of the challenges she’s faced?

She’s been open about her struggles with addiction, childhood trauma/neglect and self-loathing— I AM HERE FOR IT. 🙌🏻

At least partly because I genuinely feel people that have been through the most shit are the most humble, authentic and compassionate people of all time— obviously this can go the other way too and people can become entitled, angry and hostile—

but when these people accept+heal what they’ve been through and take responsibly for their actions, live with humility and forgive others+themselves— you get a compassionate, awesome and self-aware human being like Natasha Lyonne.

Check out the YouTube WTF with Marc Maron-Natasha Lyonne interview, Tumblr won’t let me copy the link and I’m not restarting another post to share but it is SO good. I love Marc Maron— he’s hilarious.

I was actually super surprised to see all the water in her chart because she comes off so fiery/airy

No publicized birth time but I strongly suspect she’s probably a Sag rising or an Aries rising (possibly Libra too)

Aries rising argument

She’s legit so entertaining and such a joy to listen to which leads me to believe Aries rising with Sun in the first. She isn’t afraid to let her true self shine or to admit her mistakes, which would make sense because the Sun isn’t really being maltreated, which to me is less likelihood of a big ego and more aptness toward humility. She does kind of have a Pluto-type vibe though but it’s more in your face than the subtler influence of Sun-Pluto/Mars aspects . She’s hilarious with her dry humor and wit while maintaining an authentic kindness that isn’t sugary sweet.

Natasha’s Sun is unafflicted and exalted in Aries, in addition to having that square from Jupiter and the Moon. Jupiter is a benefic so this is good and the Moon is neutral. But not only that, Jupiter is also exalted in Cancer and she has 29 degrees on it— ⭐️ the Leo/fame degree

I would venture to say she has a day chart because of this. Also Aries rising would make sense because she’d then have a 12th house stellium and that’s a common fame indicator

Also, though, having those planets there can help to explain potentially her struggles with addiction, as the 12th house is considered a less than great house due to its non-aspecting nature to the 1st house.

I don’t think she’s an Aries rising because then her 10th house would be ruled by Saturn, which is placed in the 6th house. Another house that doesn’t aspect the 1st. I just can’t see her having as successful as a career as she has with this placement.

Libra Rising argument

10th house would be in Cancer, with exalted Jupiter still in a day chart and would explain her success as a child actress. Not to mention her IMBD credits, talk about PROLIFIC.

Also though with it being exalted in Cancer and at 29 degrees, this would point to her massive fame and success. Cancer is also at its domicile in the Moon. Very very fortunate tenth house matters. And these are entirely unafflicted by malefics.

The Sun is making a square to Jupiter/Moon (which rule her tenth house of career) so this is where the fame sneaks in, as if the 29 degrees wasn’t enough.

Yeah, she’s a Libra rising. Day chart.

3rd house Sag— she’s pretty brutal actually lol but she’s hilarious. It’s interesting to see how Cancer placements play out for everyone. With a fire degree like 29, she’s def going to be more outgoing than a 28 degree Jupiter Cancer— more likely to say what’s on her mind.

4th house Cap with ruler retrograde Saturn in the 12th would explain her difficult childhood/narcissistic parents. Especially with the opposition from Mars but Venus and Mercury are here to help. She talks about it, and helps others feel not so alone, and has made her own family through friends and I think that’s really beautiful.

A lot of people with Pisces stelliums seem to struggle with addiction— not everyone but a lot do. Escapism is a huge theme with Pisces and to have a true stellium (with 3 personal planets in the same sign) would mean that 3/7 of the traditional planets are in one sign. Nearly half so yeah— they’re gonna tend toward escapism in whichever flavor they prefer.

Verdict: Yeah, she’s 100% a Libra rising.

Also I said it up in Aries rising argument: “Pluto is is more in your face” and Libra rising would put it in her first house. Her overall demeanor would make sense as an air rising too.

Plus, helloooo gorgeous wtf why wouldn’t she have her first house ruled by Venus?! Not to mention Venus being exalted in Pisces on top of it!!!

[cannibalcoyote]

Simon Gruber: Am I Worth Anything?

Imagine being John McClane's youngest daughter, and running away to Germany after your parents start fighting again and your dad moves back to New York. What happens when Simon Gruber finds you on the streets:

-This is set after the second movie, but before the 3rd. I have the reader at age 12-

They'd started arguing again, everything was going so good too, Dad had moved here to LA and everything. I don't know what caused all of this, I thought they were happy, I thought everything was fixed... but I'm wrong as per usual.

Mom has us staying with her, but I'm honesty feeling so alone, even with my siblings around. They both are a few years older than me, so they either bully or ignore me, but neither is my friend. Dad was helping us figure this out, but that all went to waste after he left. They started being cold again, acting as if I don't exist. I know this separating is effecting them as well, but at least they have each other, I don't even have mom here to confide in since she's always working.

I try to call dad sometimes, but he's always drunk and usually thinks I'm mom, sometimes he doesn't even give me the chance to talk, just picks up the phone and starts cursing. He's never treated me like that before, sure, sometimes he just picks up the phone and responds that way before knowing it's me, but is that really an excuse? The separation must be hurting him as well... I wish I could help him, but I don't even know how to help myself. 

Sometimes, late at night, I think about what occurred leading up to dad leaving. I remember them shouting at each other, trying to get my brother and sister to take sides. They choose mom either way, I just stood in-between, how could they make me choose? The looks of disdain coming from all sides made me wither, I felt hated, unwanted. Maybe things would be better if I leave?

_______

I left home, it may sound really stupid, but maybe things will be better if I stay at dad's for a little bit; surely things couldn't be worse than staying with my mother and siblings.

The train ride was costly and took around 3 days for me to arrive in New York; my packing was light, just my back pack with a few changes of clothing, all my savings, my ID, some food and a notepad and pen. I didn't want to pack to much because it would make it harder for me to slip out of the house unnoticed, so I just stuffed my backpack and went for it - I probably should've packed other things, but it's too late now.

New York was interesting, I was quite young when we moved to Los Angeles, so being back is a new experience. The buildings are tall and overbearing, they make you feel so small, and the crowded, busy sidewalks only emphasize that point. 

I pull out the map from my pocket, dotting what street I'm on, and then charting the best way to get to my father's apartment. His apartment is a bit away from the station, about 20ish blocks, but I've got enough daylight to make it before nightfall.

Before beginning my trek I pull out my walkman, restarting the CD, it's the Station to Station album by David Bowie - I had to beg for a whole 2 months before my father finally gave in and bought me the walkman, he later gifted me this CD upon noticing how Bowie is my favorite musician. It's a nice reminder that my father cares for me, whenever I'm feeling lonely, I'll listen to this album.

I'm weaving my way through people, trying my best not to run into anyone. The sun seems to be setting a lot sooner than I thought it would, but that must be due to the time difference, I must've forgotten to account for that. Either way, I'm over half way there and the sun is just beginning to set, that last thing I want is to be caught after dark on the streets of New York - I especially don't want this as I am currently an unattended child.

I finally arrive at my fathers apartment, pressing the buzzer at the door, hoping he'll be home and let me in.

"Who is it?" I hear an annoyed voice answer, but I still sigh in relief.

"Dad?" My voice sounds so small, hopefully he still heard me.

"Y/N?" I don't know how to describe it, but it seems like so many emotions smashed into one word: relief, anger, happiness, anxiousness. So many that they overwhelm me.

"Yeah, it's me, can you let me in?" I don't get a verbal response, but hear the door being unlocked. I push open the heavy door, making my way inside the lobby. I head over to the elevator and push the up button, waiting patiently for the doors to open. I'm startled by the abrupt opening of the door from the stairwell, staring at the door as I watch my father come bustling out of it. He looks tense and rushed - a mess if I'm being honest, looking around quickly before stilling when he spots me. 

His movements are fast, he catches me off guard when he pulls me in unexpectedly for a tight hug. I'm surprised, but accept the contact, it's been so long since I've seen my father after all. As he holds me, I can't help but smell the alcohol on him, though I know mentioning it could be disastrous.

We separate and head into the now awaiting elevator, the ride up was quick but surprisingly quiet; I expected some sort of conversation, but maybe he's processing? The walk from the elevator to his apartment felt uncomfortably tense though, like something suddenly angered him. Either way, it made me feel uneasy.

As soon as I enter, I go to speak, but am cut off by the harsh slamming of the door.

"What the hell do you think you're doing!" He questions in a raised voice, he's angry, that much I can tell.

"I-" I begin to respond, but have no time as I am immediately cut off.

"Leaving without telling your mother, wandering the streets of New York at night! How the hell did you even get here from LA, no airline would let you board unattended?"

"I-I used the amtrak." I explain in a shaky voice, averting my eyes from his gaze and staring down at the dirty floor.

"What were you even thinking? Coming over here?" His voice is solemn now, and it makes me more uncomfortable than when he was yelling.

"I thought that... maybe I could stay here for a while?" I respond sheepishly, but hoping - no, praying - that he'll let me stay.

"Stay? Here, with me?" He questions incredulously.

"Please?" I whisper, glancing at him hopefully.

"What? No, you can't stay with me." He looks at me like I'm crazy, I suddenly feel very out of place, like I can't find anywhere that I'm allowed to exist. It's an astounding experience, especially when I've always felt so comfortable with my father.

"But..." I begin, trailing off as I try to think of what to say.

"But what? Don't tell me, you thought you could leave your mother and come live with me, that it would be as easy as showing up on my doorstep unannounced?" I can tell he's making fun of me, his tone gives it away.

"I-" I begin once again, only this time I'm interrupted.

"Well it's not! I thought you were smarter than that? You're going back to your mother's first thing tomorrow, you understand?" His shouting is scary, he's never acted like this towards me, though I have seen a few interactions like this between him and my mother.

"Dad, no, I want to stay here!" I all but beg, wide eyed at his words.

"I don't want you staying here, I don't want you anywhere near here!" My hearing goes silent after that, but there's an obnoxious ringing... Did he just say that? That he wants nothing to do with me, that he doesn't want me anywhere near him?

He says a few more things, but I don't care enough to hear them, all I can manage to do is stare straight forward in a daze. I travelled so far, but not even my father wants me around anymore.

I was right, I should've just disappeared; I'm the catalyst of every fight, had I never been born, maybe they would still be together?

I don't remember much that happened after, just my father rolling his eyes as he drags his palm tiredly over his face. He walks me to the spare bedroom and tell me to get some rest, but I don't think I'll be able to sleep after the words we traded.

I'm not quite sure how long I lay in that bed before I hear my father talking from the living room, I tiptoe out of bed and look through the cracked door, he seems to be on the phone.

"You think I wanted her here! Listen Holly, I'm sending her back on the train tomorrow, alright? Make sure she doesn't comeback to New York." He sounds tired, annoyed, upset... I guess he really doesn't want me here, but I know my mother doesn't want me either.

I wait until my father's all but drunk himself to death, it's around 0100 in the morning before he's passed out on the couch, empty bottles on the coffee table. I cling tightly onto my backpack, walking to the front door as quietly as possible, opening the door slowly before sliding into the hallway and closing it with a dull 'click.'

The ride down was eerie, and it became even more so when I exited the apartment building. The darkness enveloping New York made the environment look quite scary, especially with only the light from the full moon and some blinking lamp posts to light my way. There was still some people out walking, most were either drunk or homeless, so I tried to pass by silently and unnoticed; my goal is to reach the airport before sunrise and buy a ticket out of the country, anywhere as long as it's not here.

I would've preferred to hail a taxi, but I can't risk not having the funds to afford a ticket, though neither of my parents want me, they still have an obligation to find me. Since I'll be paying for the flight in cash, there'll be no tracking where I went, unless the person selling me the ticket remembers my name, face, and flight destination; but I highly doubt they'll check the airports first.

When I finally arrive, the sun is just beginning to raise above the horizon, the streets are getting a little more busy with 6am traffic, and there is now light foot traffic along the sidewalks. 

I was coming up on the airport, I can tell because the planes kept getting louder and louder. I'd been thinking during my entire walk on where I wanted to go, it would be suspicious for a 12 year old to ask what flights are available to anywhere, especially without an adult present. 

I've chosen to go to Germany because I've always loved the language and have wanted to visit since I was 5; I've also formulated a story should I be asked any questions. I'm going to say that I'll be visiting family in Cochem, Germany. I remember reading about that beautiful place in a travel magazine, it looked nice enough and I also can't remember any other place. If they want more info, I'll say I'm specifically visiting my Uncle who lives there, that I'll be staying there for the summer. They shouldn't be asking much after that though, so I should be all good.

I push open the terminal doors, and immediately locate the booth where you can purchase a ticket. The lady behind the desk looks nice, she sounds polite as she finishes up talking with another employee before turning to me. She looks a little surprised to see just me, but she quickly recovers.

"Hello, how can I help you?" She questions sweetly.

"Hi there, I was wondering if you have any flights today heading over to Cochem, Germany?" I respond, I try to sound mature, but I'm not sure if it worked as I notice her raise her eyebrow humorously.

"Well, let me check real quick." She clicks a few times on her computer, tilting her head as she shuffles.

"There aren't any flights to Cochem since they don't have an airport." She states.

"What does that mean?" I ask, scrunching my eyebrows as I think my plan may be ruined.

"It just means we find the closest airport to their, and that looks to be Frankfurt Hahn Airport; it's only about 15 miles away." She states nonchalantly, but I'm sighing internally. 15 miles, after how long of a flight? I'll need to get a map too if I don't want to get lost.

"We have a flight leaving at around 0900 with a few seat openings." She continues, showing me the available seats.

"Alright, that works." I state, handing her the cash for the ticket, waiting as she prints it out and hands it to me. I smile in thanks before wandering off to check in and head to my boarding area, I've got a while before my flight, so I guess I'll make myself comfortable.

I don't remember the flight too well, I mainly slept through the flight, having sparse moments of wakefulness when they brought us food and drinks. The people I was seated beside were a kindly older couple, they kept me company and checked in on me; I think they just saw a child alone on the flight and wanted to make sure I wasn't scared or anything.

They would try to talk with me, but I think they realized how tired I was and just let me sleep. They were rather nice, even walking with me off the plane before they separated to go to baggage claim; I didn't need to as I only had my carry-on.

I quickly bought a map from the convenience shop in the airport before heading off on my trek, its around 5am and the sun has yet to rise. The temperature is around 60ºF, so I'm not too cold, I actually welcome the chill as the movement will warm me up in no time.

_______

I've been in Cochem for around 3 weeks now, and I must say that I really should have thought this through. I swapped all my USD over into euros, but I barely have enough to afford food everyday, not to mention I have no place to stay, hotels are far to expensive to even think of. Learning german has also been more complicated than I thought, I assumed it would be easier since I'm immersed in the culture, but it's all just been one big shock for both my body and mind.

Some of the shop owners have started to recognize me; I think they have their assumptions and know I'm homeless, sometimes they'll give me something to eat free of charge. I also can't risk speaking to them in english, I can't risk anyone knowing I'm from the United States, that would only heighten their suspicion on why I'm here instead of in the US. So, for the time being, I'll just have to come off as mute until I learn the language.

_______

It's been a particularly harsh past few days, the temperature has been dropping lower than usual, and my deteriorating clothes haven't been doing much to conserve my body heat. The local children have also taken to terrorizing me, I think they've been making fun of my clothing and muteness (I am now able to mostly understand them after some tutoring from a friendly shop owner).

Sometimes, they'll try to grab my bag, I've had a group of them chase after me just because I wouldn't let them steal my backpack. Their parents either don't notice or don't care, either way, I'm on my own.

They haven't caught me yet, and I can't say what they would do to me if they did. Would they just grab my bag and leave? Or would they want to hurt me for having the audacity to run? Maybe they just chase me because they find it funny, or maybe I have good reason to evade them?

It was actually during one of these chases that I ran into the man that would come to replace my father over time.

It was routine at this point, a group of 6 or so kids would spot me and give chase, I would see them coming and take off.  So far so good, I'm dodging the adults that go on with their lives, trying not to get hit by cars as I sprint across the road.

I'm doing really good actually, I turn around to catch a glimpse of them, they got stopped at the road by passing traffic, yes!

I look forward just as I turn a corner, running straight into someone, they are larger than me, barely being affected by the collision. I, however, had toppled down to the ground , scraping up my palms on the ground as the flail out to catch me.

Tears well in my eyes at the stinging pain, I can feel as the grit and dirt dig into the wounds as they rub against the cobblestone. I quickly glance up and see a tall man with short blonde hair, his eyes are a striking blue; they make me think of my father's eyes, how his aren't as striking as this man's.

I observe his expression, his eyes widen only slightly, showing his surprise about being barreled into so unexpectedly. He looks very professional in what I can best describe as a business casual suit, but something about him makes him seem like more than what he shows. This strange man, he holds an air of authority, power, I could almost describe him as threatening.

My thoughts are drawn away by the trampled footsteps behind me. I quickly scramble up from the floor, ignoring the pain in my hands as I snap my gaze to the corner I had rounded. I look just as the others come around, they halt as well at the sight of me and this adult. 

I lock eyes with the groups leader and immediately begin sprinting down the road, I can hear them giving chase immediately, shouting that no one cares enough about me to help. The tears already welled up in my eyes begin to cascade down my face; they're right, not even my own family wanted, how could I expect that strangers from a different country would want me either?

In my moments of self-pity, I step into a crevice, I was unprepared for the change in level and feel my knee giving out. I tumble to the ground in a flurry, scraping my limbs against the harsh ground. I curse at myself, attempting to stand, but this fall may have done me in, my legs feel like they are on fire, and my left ankle feels heavy and stiff, as though it was being strangled.

Looking up, I notice that I've fallen in a rather secluded area of town, almost no foot traffic here at all, so these miscreants will have a field day, I wonder what they'll actually do now that they've finally caught me.

They surround me, two of them ripping my backpack from me despite my struggle to keep hold of it. The leader marches forward and shoves me, allowing them to grab the bag away. They unzip it before turning it upside down, shaking everything out onto the floor.

We watch as clothes, food, paper and pens tumble out. They look disappointed when nothing else appears, what were they expecting, cash? As if I have any left...

The leader and his lackeys roughly lift me from the ground, having to hold me up since my legs have stopped functioning. Just as they're about to speak, a stern voice erupts from behind them.

"Aufhören (Stop)." They all freeze, the boys looking back to see who interrupted them. I look as well, though it took a lot of effort.

There, standing imposingly a few steps away is the man with the blue eyes, I ran into him, what is he doing stopping these boys from hurting me?

"Was (What)?" The leader questions, he tries to sound stern as well, but I can see him shrinking away when the man steps closer.

"Verpisst euch, lauft zu euren Müttern (Fuck off, go run to your mothers)." He growls in a deep tone, I can feel the disgust in his voice when speaking to these boys. 

They apparently don't need to be told twice, they release me, allowing me to crumple to the floor as they bolt away in the opposite direction. I feel dazed after everything that happened, but looking down at the ground, I can't help but feel despair swelling in my throat. Among the content of my bag was a picture of me and my parents, they're smiling and happy, and so was I. That was our last photo together before the fighting started again.

I reach out and grab the crumpled photograph, gently bringing it up so I could cradle it. I glance at the stranger as he steps closer before kneeling down. I'm not sure what I was expecting, but it wasn't for him to begin collecting my belongings and putting them back into my bag. 

I can tell he has his suspicions upon viewing my dirty clothing, the toothpaste and toothbrush, as well as the bits of old food wrapped up for later. He finishes zipping up the bag before gently placing it in front of me.

"Wo ist deine Mutter? Dein Vater (Where is your mother? Your father)?" He questions with a concerned tone, I glance into his eyes before quickly looking away. He's very intimidating, even when he's being so nice.

"Weg (Gone)." I reply solemnly. My parents may not be dead, but I don't plan on ever going back, they're better off without me.

"Nun, wer ist für Sie zuständig (Well, who is responsible for you)?" He asks again, hoping that someone is out there looking after me. I sadly, can't give him that answer, it would be wrong to lie to the man who saved me.

"Nur ich (Only me)." I respond, avoiding eye contact at all costs. I'm terrified, what if he turns me into the authorities, or puts me in an orphanage? Or worse, what if he takes me back to New York! 

"Nur Sie? Hier draußen (Just you? Out here)?" He sounds shocked, his eyebrows scrunch up in worry, a distant look appearing in his eyes. He tilts his head in thought, of what, I'm unsure. He stands abruptly, and I'm sure he's going to leave, allow me to be alone again; but I'm the shocked one now when I notice his outstretched his hand.

I analyze it for a few seconds, wondering whether I should accept it, what happens if I do accept it? Is this a mere action of kindness before leaving me, or will this lead to more actions occurring? So many questions in my head silenced when I reach out and place my hand in his, allowing his firm grip to pull me off the floor. 

My legs are still regaining their senses, but he supports me as I try to remember how to stand. I look down at my legs and notice the scrapes and cuts along them, mostly localized around my knees as they are what I fell on during my tumble. I shift my gaze up to my hands, they are so small against his,  knuckles scraped and bleeding from sliding against the ground.

I tilt my head at them, so many injuries in such a short span of time, how will I fix them? I don't have any bandages on me, and I certainly can't afford to buy any.

"Komm, ich bringe das in Ordnung (Come on, I'll fix it)." I just nod my head, who am I to rebuke against his orders, especially after how he's treated me?

"Wie ist Ihr Name (What is your name)?" My words are slow as I try to remember what to say, I am doing better at understanding what is being said, but have trouble speaking the language. I can see the man raise an eyebrow, I almost think he won't answer me.

" Simon. Und du (Simon. And you)?" He states, walking with me through the town market, grasping my hand tighter when he notices the group of boys that had been terrorizing me cross the street.

"Y/N." I respond quietly, it's almost a whisper. It's been so long since I've spoken, let alone this much; I haven't said my name once during my stay here, so it's a strange feeling.

_______

After that day, Simon took me in, cleaned my wounds and bandaged them, gave me a hot meal to eat, and a room to rest in.

He unofficially adopted me after a year, explaining to me that I'm like a daughter to him, and that he want me to see him as my father. He didn't have to ask though, I've seen him as my father since the day we first met.

The first months were hard if I'm being honest, I had no idea how to act around a father figure, especially not after what happened with my actual dad. I was a lot more skittish, scared of maintaining eye contact, terrified by the slightest raise in his voice. Those behaviors began to melt away when I realized he wouldn't push me away, that he actually invited my company and tried to do things that I enjoyed - such as painting with me, or taking me into nature so I could write poems in the serene environment.

He asked me quite early on who my parents were and what happened. I was afraid that if he knew they were alive, that he would send me back to them; but I never was able to lie to him. I told him the truth about my parents, who they were, why I ran away, etc. He talked to me about it, and actually explained to me the dark history between his brother and my father.

He was empathetic towards me, explaining that he had similar feelings of displacement when he was staying with his family; it felt good having someone that could relate to me. He would reassure me during times of self-hatred, comforting me, stating that I was never the problem, that my parents should've never made me feel that way. He promised me that he will never allow them to treat me like that again.

The adoption was a quiet affair, he had documents for me falsified so that it stated I was a German citizen that he adopted out of the orphanage.

Yes, I know they were falsified, and I know all about his side of business; he told me the night beforehand what type of person he was, as well as the types of jobs he does. I'll admit, he caught me off guard since he's quite amiable, but I suppose everyone has sides that no one understands.

Some of his close friends that he works with were there to witness my adoption, they were polite and friendly as well. I had never felt more accepted in my life than I did when I was with Simo–my father, and I don't plan on ever letting go of this feeling. 

[ninjago-fa-story]

Ninjago FA prequel: Restart Chapter 3: What He's Done

~~~3rd Person PoV~~~

"Hello, stranger, it's me again, Aniela. Sorry for not visiting you yesterday, but my friend Bethany broke her wrist and I had to work an extra shift… But don't worry, I am here now." The woman paced a little closer to the hospital bed, covering the patient's left arm. She carefully sat down on the edge of the matress, running her hand up and down the thin, white blanket. After taking a deep breath, she decided to continue her little speech. "I feel infinitely sorry for you. Whatever happened must have been undeniably painful. I hope you can forgive me for my decision, but there was no other way to save your life. But better this than dead, am I right? I know how much of a change this will be, perhaps even a good heap of trauma, there was just no other option. Though I wish there was, I really do…" Emilia started tearing up after looking at the patient once again. The smaller wounds and scratches have healed up really fast, but some things still will never be the same again. All those tubes and cables aren't really helping the sight, either. "It's been three months since I found you in the park… since you fell from the sky. I wonder what was going on before it all happened, the injuries you were suffering from were clearly not caused by the fall. If you evere need someone to talk to, I am right here to listen." The visitor held her hands up to her chest, giving her a good idea. Her hands were lead around her neck once, just until they reached the hook of a thin metal chain that was hanging down to right about her chest. It was a small rose-golden necklace with a red heart made out of stained glass, a gift given to her from her father right before he has passed away from cancer. It was used as a lucky charm ever since, though the stranger propably needs it more than she does now.

The pendant was carefully placed around the man's neck, Emilia just had to make sure to dodge all the important stuff. Now all she could hope for, is that this was not a useless act of kindness, but actually helping.

---Acronix's PoV---

Darkness. That's all I've been seeing for the past... I don't even know how long I've been here for. I guess the woman who visits me every day said something like 3 months... Is my condition really this bad? I really hoped it wasn't. Though I wasn't able to regain control over my body, no matter how hard I try. The void looks different too. Usually it has a comforting gray tone, but now it was pitch-black and I couldn't see my body, just my astral shape. Unlike everything I ever experienced within this space, that constant and monotoneous ticking of a clock is new. There was no clear source of the sound, it was everywhere and nowhere at the same time, but I can tell it's not just all inside of my head. Whatever this is, it slowly makes me go insane. I gotta get out of here! Maybe that merging technique can help, the one my mother taught me when I was little.

Despite the moderate difficulty, I managed to get into a possition that allows me to meditate and focus on nothing but my own body. The Void is a timeless place, though while my soul is trapped here, my body in the outside world keeps its ability to age, though that obviously depends on how much time passes there. Less gravity means less Time-Dilation, and less Dilation means less aging. And in spaces with zero gravity like the Vortex and the Void, including their position outside time and space, aging comes to a halt completely.

My eyes where darting around quickly, my disoriented mind slowly catching up with reality once again. I crossed my legs and streched them out again, over and over again until I found the perfect position. Everything needs to be perfect. Despite my rusted language skills, I somehow managed to get the phrase together perfectly. "Tawana ohala wo. Nakisa nala to." (ng-TW: "Let them merge. Body and Soul.") My astral figure was slowly dissolving into a colorful dust, colors that appeared to have washed out over time, as slowly, the black void turned white and regained shape that resemble the real world.

My vision was still blurry, but i can tell that I was back to consciousness. I felt a rush of electricity run through my entire body, my Elemental Powers. they didn't activate, they just reacted to my living state. For the first time, was able to see Aniela with my own eyes. While I was stuck in the void, her pressence would be announced with a faint pink light. The lady in pink is just as pretty as I imagined her to be judging by her voice. She is probably a little older than me, but that might also just be caused by my slower aging.

Her black hair is worn in a flowing bob, her dress was a certain shade of pink, I assume #de5d83 Blush, my sister's favorite color. The straps and belt were a less certain color, just a normal shade of cyan. But the color complimented her blue eyes quite nicely. just like mine, her skin was tanned, yet ways brighter. Her smile was warm and friendly, pointed right at me. She must be very happy seeing me awake.

It didn't take long for a Doctor to arrive, a face that I was a little to familiar with. It was Liberty, the Elemental Master of Lightning. She has always been one of my closest friends back in the day when the Elemental Alliance still existed. Though it ceased to exist once my brother and I turned our backs. How I wish to have never done that in the first place. I truly do regret everything, but now, things can never be undone. But now that I have the chance to write my future anew, I can finally get rid of what pains me. I can finally let go of my old self. I was kind of relieved to see a familiar face, but the time I am in can not possibly be the future. I am in the past.

Despite my brother's and my initial travel forward, I must have somehow ended up here instead. I know that my father once told me about the living of the Elemental Power of Time, that it will help you if all hope is lost. Maybe this is the safest option. My eyes quickly scanned their surroundings, but except my Battle suit and my father's Pocket Watch, everything seemed brand new. My fathers watch? It was glowing differently than usual, just like my Powers, it reacted to me being awake. Some of it's Power must have been transfered to me back when I was fighting my brother. just like padre said, the Element knows when you are in danger, it saved my life.

My mouth and throat felt dry, the ability to speak was taken away from me. While Libery was gone to get me a glass of water, my mind arrived in reality. I lifted my left arm to wave at Aniela, but the lower arm was missing almost entirely. If I was able to speak, at least now I would be lacking all of it. "There was simply no other way-" I just nodded quietly, I have heard what she was talking about while I was stuck in coma, I may not be mad for her decision, but this naturally came as a shock. Aniela had moved from all across the room all the way to my bed within the matter of a second, holding my weakened body in am embrace I was not expecting. Tears were flowing, the realisation that this was all my so-called brother's fault, what he's done to me… and Freedom. Yes, despite the unspoken hate towards Krux, I was also happy to finally be free. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, the dark tunnel I once called my life. All this was finally over. This is something I don't want to miss out on. 

Aniela and I hat been sitting like this for a while longer, just until the Master of Lightning came back with a glass of still water. Though I was still not able to speak after drinking the entire thing, so it was more than just soreness. "It is completely normal to lose certain abilities after coma, they should come back after a while. You may have to relearn them, though." My hand was lightly stroking my face, the area where my face paint would usually be, now there was nothing. It had become the signature look of Krux and I, but despite this, that never really bothered me. It has even been my own suggestion to add it. Not to hide our identities, but to embrace our roots. Typically Tawali markings, usually worn by hunters and warriors, but they stopped doing these things ages ago, and wore it simply to accessorize. I guess your point of view about some things change if half of your people died in a genocide…

Trailing a bit further down, my hand reached my neck, finding something unfamiliar, appearing to be some sort of necklace. "It's my lucky charm. But it's yours now, it has served me well." My face formed a smile, nobody has ever been this nice to me before, well, with a few rare exceptions.

My body felt incredibly weak, I was barely able to stay awake. This might be caused by al of my injuries, but since most of them have already healed up almost completely, I suggest a weakened state in combination of me having new Elemental Powers, that should go away once I am used to them. Curiousity has struck my mind, I wonder what else I can do with them. But these thoughts faded just as quickly as they appeared, Elemental Powers are not toys, especially not mine. It kind of sucks, to be honest, other Elementals do not carry the burden of an entire Timeline on their backs at all times. But a Keeper of Time's gotta do what a Keeper of Time's has to do.

The five remaining fingers on my right hand formed shapes in the air, I don't know much, but I was quite lucky that the Inventor has taught me Sign Language. Only fingerspelling, but it was better than nothing, especially now that I only have one hand to use. "L-I-B-E-R-T-Y" Just one tiny word and the Doctor was left in shock. "How do you know my name? I never introduced myself..." I asked for pen and paper. reading should work better in this case. We fought together in the Serpentine War. Don't you remember me? I am an old friend of yours. Well, before my brother forced me to turn away and switch sides. I am sorry for what happened, but I had no choice. I promise, one day I can make up to my mistakes. "I am sorry, but I have no idea what you are talking about. my name is Liberty, but you must be mixing me up with someone else. And we never had a Serpentine War. We are at good terms with them." You are Liberty Mclaughlin, married to Cliff A. Gordon, Elemental Master of Lightning. You train alongside some other Elemental Masters in the so-called Monastery of Spinjitzu, all of you part of the Elemental Alliance. "Okay, tell me who you are RIGHT NOW!" My name is Adonis Rivera González, Elemental Master of Time. Speaking of it, what is the current date? She was visibly and audibly confused, but still decided to answer my question. "August 29th 10765. Today is a Saturday." I knew exactly what I had to write, despite knowing that she will probably think I am crazy. I am 25 years from the future. And now I know that I am from a different Timeline as well. A timeline, where we once called each other Best Friends.

It only took me a small demonstrations of my powers to make her believe me. I guess it's easier to believe someone with Elemental Powers if you have one yourself. There is still so much that I don't want to talk about though. Simply because I myself haven't really learned how to cope with it. My brother was really about to kill me, and he would have succeeded if it wasn't for my savior, Aniela. I lost my arm because of him, all of my friends, my family. I have lost everything. But now that I am here, I have the chance to start anew, in a place where "I" did not even exist until now, but that's the good thing. Since there is no other me in this timeline, I can do whatever I want without having to fear disrupting the Time-Space-Continuum. I am free to do whatever I want. I AM FINALLY FREE! All these years in fear of my life and now I can finally be free. A feeling that I never expected to experience again. All this torture finally has an end. I have finally reached the end of the tunnel. I remember, not so long ago, I wanted to end it all, all my suffering, but I knew it wouldn't change anything. The will to not give in and the hopes to change my brother's heart had somehow kept me going. Though soon after entering modern time I knew all help was lost and I got back to where I was before, but now… Now that there is nothing to worry about, I can finally see the hope within myself again. One that I once had given up upon alltogether.

It is finally over.

[viastro]

third of december | joshua hong

ミ★ synopsis: i still remember, third of december. me in your sweater, you said it looked better on me than it did you. OR: in which joshua gives you his sweater on the first snowfall of the year.

ミ★ genre: slice of life!au, uni!au, fluff, some humor

ミ★ warnings: none

ミ★ word count: 2,922

ミ★ pairings: joshua hong x gender neutral reader

ミ★ notes: hi guys! in honor of it being the third of december, i decided to write this oneshot based off of that line in conan gray’s song - heather. i made this a joshua oneshot because i felt bad... for the wonwoo one... so this hopefully makes up for it :D i also love joshua’s platinum hair. i love him. i hope he’s doing well. as always, make sure to give joshua lots of love! i hope you guys like this one even tho it’s kinda short and i just wrote this in the span of an hour !

It’s cold, you think to yourself as you walk to the next building that holds your class on campus. Rubbing the goosebumps raising on your arms, you glance around at your surroundings as music floods through your Airpods. You let out a sigh to see if you can see your breath, and you purse your lips when it condensates before your eyes. 

I should’ve brought an extra jacket, you curse quietly, only to stop when you hear a beautiful laugh resonate through the small crowd of people heading to their next class. Your head perks up, and you look across campus to see a bright head of platinum hair walking in your direction as he talks to his friend. Your heart twirls in your chest when he turns his head, and you find that his beautiful laugh matches his gorgeous facial features. 

Immediately you look down at the ground and try to walk faster towards your class, feeling awkward as you were basically just gawking at his beauty. Your face feels warm, but your hands are cold as you walk in the mid-November weather. 

You hear his voice as he gets closer, but you continue to stare down at the cobblestone as you walk. You find that his voice is incredibly pleasant as well, and you wonder how a human being can be so beautiful, causing the thoughts of the coldness of your hands to come to a halt. 

“Are you sure you wanna work on the melody? I can work on it if you want.” Joshua offers as the two head towards the direction of the cafe. Jeonghan rolls his eyes, having heard this five times in the span of the two hour lecture they just got out of. 

“Joshua, I already told you that if you really wanna make the melody then you can do it. I don’t mind writing lyrics.” Jeonghan replies with a grin, and Joshua lets out an apologetic smile. “Sorry Hannie, I just hate writing lyrics.” 

“I know Joshua, but sometimes you need to practice...” Joshua tunes out the rest of Jeonghan’s lecture when he turns his head to look forward, only to pause when he lays eyes on you. Time comes to a slow when he sees you glance up from the ground for a moment, and his heart fills with warmth even in this cold November weather. 

He stops and turns his head in your direction when you walk past him, watching as you shrink within the crowd as you most likely head to your next class. Jeonghan chuckles when he follows Joshua’s line of sight, knowing that his best friend has just developed a crush. With this newfound knowledge, he nudges Joshua’s shoulder, causing the blonde to snap out of his trance. 

“You good?” 

“Do you know who they are?” Joshua asks in a quiet voice, and Jeonghan turns his head, seeing that you’re no longer in sight. He shrugs, “I’ve never spoken to them.” 

Joshua nods his head, looking obviously disappointed as they turn back towards the direction of the cafe. Jeonghan chuckles, patting Joshua’s shoulder after a moment of his friend staying quiet. Joshua glances at the brunette, and he watches as a grin etches itself onto his face. “Since they were heading in that direction today, it’s most likely that our paths will cross with theirs on Thursdays. You’ll see them next week.” 

Joshua lets out a smile after a moment, and nods his head, now feeling excited to see you in a week. Jeonghan rolls his eyes, wrapping his arm around Joshua’s shoulders as they get closer to the cafe. 

“You fall in love easily.” Jeonghan tells him, and Joshua purses his lips. He glances up at the cloudy sky, remembering the way your eyes sparkled when you briefly glanced up from the ground. And so he smiles and responds in a soft voice,

“They were pretty.” 

I brought an extra jacket, but I forgot gloves. Fucking gloves, you think as you walk across campus once again. You let out a sigh, watching as your breath condensates before your very eyes once again. Beginning to curse to yourself for forgetting the gloves on your table, you pick up the pace so that you can make it to the warmth of your building quicker. 

That plan comes to an immediate stop when you hear his voice, and you find yourself walking slower to be able to cherish the sound. Glancing up in the direction of his voice, you see him listening attentively as  his friend animatedly speaks to him. You let out a small smile, thinking that he’s rather cute when he smiles. 

You suck in a breath when he turns his head and locks eyes with you when your paths are about to cross. You want nothing more than to look away and act as if he didn’t catch you staring fondly at him, but his catlike eyes have you intrigued. He finally lets out a smile and stops walking when the two of you are right beside each other, and he turns towards you. 

You find yourself doing the same thing, internally screaming to yourself as you wonder how you were able to muster the courage to not run away when he turned to you. The blonde extends his hand in your direction, “Hi, I’m Joshua Hong.” 

Biting the inside of your cheek, you reach out and softly grasp his warm hand with your cold one, giving it a slight shake. “Hi, I’m yln yn.” 

Joshua’s eyebrows furrow slightly when you let go, and he reaches into his jacket pockets. You move to apologize for how cold your hand was, only to stop when he holds out a pair of purple gloves for you. Glancing up at his face, you catch the redness to his nose as he mutters, “It’s cold, make sure to wear these.” 

You let out a small smile, “Are you sure? These are yours, and you barely know me.” You tell him softly, and Joshua chuckles, nodding his head in reassurance. He pushes them in your direction again, and you shyly take them from his grasp. “Thank you.” 

You slide them on, letting out a happy sigh when you feel the warmth of the gloves on your fingers. Joshua smiles, “Want me to walk you to class?” 

“I thought we were gonna go to the caf-” Joshua quickly elbows Jeonghan in the stomach, making the latter double over in pain from the impact. The brunette quietly curses Joshua and his powerful elbows, wondering why the fuck his elbow felt so sharp. 

Your eyes widen slightly in concern at Joshua’s friend, and the blonde waves his hand at you with a grin, obviously one that’s trying to hold back a laugh. “He’s fine.”

“I’m dying.” 

“You’re fine.” 

“Fuck you.” 

Joshua flashes you a smile after patting Jeonghan on the back, and you end up giggling at the whole interaction. You shake your head ‘no’ at his offer, “It’s okay. It’s all the way across campus, and you already gave me these gloves. You’ve done more than enough.” 

Joshua’s heart falls slightly, but he nods his head, respecting your decision. He prepares to say bye, only to stop when you say, “We can hangout some other time, though.” 

He nods his head immediately in agreement, and you giggle at the sight of it. So you nod your head back at him, before waving your hand, “See you later Joshua, make sure to be nice to your friend.” 

Joshua chuckles as he waves back at you, watching as you begin to walk away “I’m always nice.”

“Say that to my two broken ribs.” Jeonghan wheezes from behind you, and you let out a bright smile when you hear the pair begin to squabble. 

You walk towards your class with a happy heart, and warm hands. 

“Did you hear that it’s gonna snow tomorrow?” You glance over towards the blonde, finding him playing with your switch on the floor of your apartment as you do homework on the couch. 

“December 3rd? That’s kinda early in the month.” You tell Joshua right as he lets out a groan for losing in smash bros. You watch as the pretty man shrugs his shoulders, preparing to restart the round, “Can’t believe you’re more concerned that it’s early rather than the fact that we still have to go to classes.” 

“That’s cause I work better when I’m actually in the classroom rather than online classes.” You say, rolling your eyes when Joshua waves his hand away at you. 

“Didn’t a girl slip and fall on the icy ground last year?” Joshua nods aimlessly in response before telling you that she’s still in talks of suing the university. Pursing your lips and nodding your head in agreement for wanting to sue the school, you glance back towards your textbook. 

You and Joshua did end up hanging out some other time. Almost everyday after classes to be exact. Usually it’s you, Jeonghan, and Joshua, but Jeonghan had an evening class to go to today. You weren’t originally going to hangout with Joshua, but he invited himself to your apartment to be able to play with your switch since Jeonghan broke his. 

Jeonghan is still repenting. 

You’ve discovered that not only is Joshua incredibly pretty and has a nice voice, but his personality is beautiful as well. Over the last couple weeks, your crush on him has only developed even further with the time you’ve spent with him. 

The same goes for Joshua, who has found himself thinking of you more often than not. From the fact that your eyes sparkle when you smile at him, to the way you practically inhale two cups of ramen in a span of fifteen minutes. He’s absolutely amazed by you. 

“You wanna order food?” You ask after a few minutes of silence between you, except for the diverse amount of sound effects coming from your TV. Joshua pauses the game and turns towards you with a knowing smile, causing you to let out a laugh. 

“Did you even have to ask?” Joshua responds, and you roll your eyes. 

“Thai food?” He nods his head in agreement, and the two of you settle on what dishes you both want, as well as what you’ll save for Jeonghan. Once that’s figured out, you place the order and receive the wait time of 30-45 minutes. 

“Does this mean you’re gonna take a break from your homework?” Joshua asks after that’s done, and you purse your lips in thought, before nodding your head. 

“I’ll beat your ass in super smash bros.” You tease, and the blonde rolls his eyes fondly at you as you settle down onto the floor beside him. He hands you your other controller, and the two of you begin a competitive round of smash bros. 

During the middle of the round, Joshua sneaks glances at you, watching as you laugh when you accidentally make your character fall off the platform. His eyes sparkle at the way your face brightens when you fight his character, to the pout of your lips as you begin to concentrate. 

Feeling Joshua’s eyes on you for the sixth time, you pause the game and turn to face him with a teasing smile. “Do you think I’m pretty? You keep-” 

You freeze at the close proximity between your faces, and you watch as Joshua’s eyes widen slightly. The two of you stare into each other's eyes for a moment, searching for an answer. To what question? At this moment, you can only think of one. 

are we about to kiss?

Your answer comes to you when his eyes trail down to your lips. Your eyes slowly flutter shut when he leans in slightly, and Joshua ingrains the visual in his mind, finding you the most beautiful thing he’s ever laid eyes on as he slowly leans in. 

bzzz 

The two of you jump apart at the sound of your apartment buzzer, and you quickly reach for your phone, seeing that the food is here. Joshua quickly scrambles up off the floor and walks over to your door without another word, and you rest a hand over your heart, feeling it violently pound against your chest. 

While Joshua’s cheeks are tinged a pretty shade of pink as he grabs the takeout food, wondering if the two of you would’ve actually kissed if you weren’t interrupted by the Thai food. However, it seems that his question won’t be answered as he walks back into your living room with a small smile. 

“Let’s eat.” 

Joshua literally told me it was going to snow and I decided to wear a t-shirt and a jacket? Am I stupid? You begin to genuinely question whether or not you have any brain cells as you walk across campus. The snow begins to fall around you as you head to class, and you quietly curse yourself for being so distracted in the morning to have forgotten the weather. 

The almost kiss keeps replaying in your head. From the moment Jeonghan came to your apartment after class and began to eat with you guys, to the time he and Joshua left to head back to their apartment. This was all you thought about even until this morning, and it’s all you’re thinking about now.

stupid! stupid! stupid! 

Your head perks up when you hear Joshua and Jeonghan laughing, and you find the two dressed warmly as they walk in your direction. Your heart thumps against your chest when Joshua glances up and locks eyes with you, only to internally panic when he immediately frowns. 

oh god, he hates me.

“Yn, I told you it was snowing today. Where’s your sweater?” Joshua asks when him and Jeonghan get closer to you. You bite the inside of your cheek, trying to come up with an answer that doesn’t sound like,

oh, you know Joshua. I was too busy being distracted by the fact that you almost kissed me last night, that i forgot to dress like a human being that DOESN’T wanna get hypothermia. haha. hahahaha. hahahahahahahahaha. Pain. 

“I forgot.” You mutter, feeling embarrassed about your stupidity. Jeonghan snickers at you, thinking the whole ordeal is rather hilarious, and you shoot him a death glare, to which he immediately stops chuckling. 

You turn back towards Joshua when you see him zipping open his backpack, and your eyes widen slightly when he pulls out an extra sweater from his bag. Jeonghan grins to himself, watching as Joshua holds it out in your direction.

“What?” You ask, and Jeonghan lets out a quiet sigh of disappointment at your lack of understanding context clues when it comes to real life scenarios. Joshua shakes the sweater, “Put this on. That jacket won’t help much, you need layers.” 

You bite the inside of your cheek, before handing Jeonghan your bag, and Joshua your jacket. You slip on the sweater over your head, and feel your face fill with warmth when you realize how much larger it is on you rather than Joshua. 

Joshua’s cheeks turn pink at the sight of you wearing his sweater, and he immediately hands you your jacket. You take it from his grasp and slip it on, before taking back your backpack from Jeonghan. You gesture to yourself, “So, what do we think?” 

“Looks better on Joshua-” Jeonghan immediately gets elbowed in the stomach, causing him to double over. Joshua gives you a shy smile, and you bite back a laugh. 

“You look pretty.” Joshua tells you softly, taking note of the way the snowflakes rest on your head, and the held back laughter goes away as you feel yourself growing more shy at the fondness in his voice. You look down at the ground, coughing into your shoulder as you prepare to leave to head towards your building once again.

“Thank you for the sweater, Joshua. I’ll see you and Jeonghan after class.” You tell him, and you wave at the doubled over Jeonghan, before turning to go to class. You pause when you feel a hand softly grasp your wrist, and you turn around to see Joshua right behind you. Raising an eyebrow you ask, “What?” 

Joshua doesn’t respond, instead biting the inside of his cheek nervously as he stares at you. You move to ask what’s wrong, only to be stopped when he leans in and presses a quick kiss to your lips. “I’ll see you later, yn.”

And with that, Joshua immediately turns around and walks away, ignoring Jeonghan’s teasing from behind him as he follows after the blonde. Warmth floods your senses, and you slowly raise a hand up to your lips, smile slowly breaking itself out onto your face as you watch the blonde disappear. 

You feel warm. 

“You brought that sweater just for yn, didn’t you?” Jeonghan teases as the two walk towards the cafeteria, and Joshua nods his head. 

“I knew they’d forget to dress warmly even though I told them it was gonna snow.” Joshua responds, smiling softly at the way the bright orange complimented your skin beautifully. It was a nice contrast to the white snow surrounding you as it fell from the sky. 

“You just wanted to see them in your clothes.” Jeonghan says with a chuckle, wrapping his arm around Joshua’s shoulders as they push through the doors, feeling warmth flood their bodies. Joshua nods his head, not even denying it as he smiles to himself. 

“They look better in it than I do.”

[sweatersstyles]

This is my contribution to @meetmeinfleetwood​‘s “to lovers” fic challenge! I chose the trope roommates to lovers and the prompt “I think I’m in love with you and I don’t know what to do.” This was fun to write thank you for allowing me to participate!

Thank you to my beta readers @tbslenthusiast​, @witch-harry​, and @sunflowers-styles​! Y’all are the best!!

no warnings that I can think of other than alcohol tw // bc of the wine they share!

word count: 2.3k

writing tag | masterlist

It’s 5:45 p.m. when you finally leave work for the day. You should’ve just said to hell with it and went home at 5:30 like you were supposed to, but you were nice enough not to. Too nice you’d been told in the past, but it’s a flaw you’re willing to accept if it gets you a promotion to the position you ultimately dreamed of working when you started there 3 years ago.

After a quick stop to grab a bottle of wine (or two), your car can’t get you home fast enough. It’s Friday and you’re looking forward to spending time doing absolutely nothing for the next two days but curling up in a blanket and watching Christmas movies in the apartment you will essentially be alone in. Your roommate Harry shared the space with you, but kept to himself for the most part. Aside from dinners and movie nights on rare occasions when your schedule lined up, allowing you to spend the evening together.

As if your thoughts summoned him, your phone dinged, indicating a new message. Your eyes dart down to where it sits in the passenger seat, careful to keep your eyes on the car in front of you, waiting patiently for the light to turn red so you can grab your phone to respond.

It’s one simple word, “Home?” so you know he’s either still working or on his own drive home. 

Your reply is just as direct, “Not yet. On my way! Movie night?” 

The light’s green again so you tuck your phone back into your purse, ignoring the next ding until you arrive home. You’re through the door of your apartment and down the hall before you read his message, “Sure. Chinese or pizza?” 

“Chinese! I’ll pick the movie and you pay for dinner?”

“That doesn’t sound fair :(”

“Alright fine, you get home before I’m out of the shower and in my pajamas you can pick the movie..deal?”

“Deal!”

The race is on then, both of you competitive and determined to win. You have a movie in mind that you’ve been dying to watch all day and you don’t want to have to rock-paper-scissors to break the tie like you usually do when the two of you don’t agree on who wins  these little games. 

You’d already shed most of your layers of clothing easily as you moved through the apartment; your boots kicked off by the door, jacket gone and thrown over the back of one of the kitchen chairs, cardigan pulled from your body and tossed on the bed by the time you made it to your bedroom. It doesn’t take long to strip the rest away and to gather a set of pajamas from your well organized drawer before darting across the hall to the shared bathroom.

You know you have at minimum 45 minutes to be done, an hour if he goes to the better Chinese place a little further across town, which he most likely would. You’d been dreaming of ending your week with a bubble bath, but you don’t take the chance now, just hop under the hot spray of the shower, hoping it will have the same relaxing effect. Your eyes are closed as you tilt your head back to wet your hair while one hand fumbles over the bottles to find your shampoo. 

Eyes still closed, you tip the bottle to add a bit to your hand, but you freeze when you open your eyes temporarily to close the bottle and put it back on the shelf. It’s Harry’s shampoo you’ve grabbed instead and for a moment you don’t know what to do. You don’t know how many times you’ve teased him about how expensive his products are. But he would never let you hear the end of it if he came home and you smelled like him. Ultimately you would’ve felt too guilty to waste it, so you work it through and hope he never finds out. Pray that the act washes away just like the suds do when you rinse them from your hair. 

By your hopeful calculations, you still have about 10 minutes left before he arrives by the time you're done in the shower. You decide to give him a fair advantage, venturing into the kitchen to decide which bottle of wine would pair best with dinner. When you make your selection, you pour yourself a glass, settling into a comfy spot on the couch. The black remote taunts you from the small wooden coffee, and you grab it. No harm in getting the movie ready while you wait, right?

You’re 2 glasses deep and 20 minutes into the movie when he arrives, a smirk on his face at the sight of you. Your eyes go wide when you see him. You’re not sure why, there had been many nights he’d found you in the same position, but tonight feels different. You gulp down the sip of wine, too tipsy and unaware that you’re staring. Had his dimples always been that prominent when he smiled? Even without your glasses you could spot that grin that stretched a mile wide across his face.

“Haroldddd..you’re home!”

He hated that nickname, had always despised when other people called him that, but falling from your lips it sounds like a prayer and he would gladly change his name to that if he thought it would make you the least bit happy.

“S’pose I lost, huh? Got the food pretty quickly but stopped to get this,” He holds up a bottle of wine, ironically the very same kind that you’re drinking now, “Shoulda known y’would already have some!”

“Oh good, you got some for yourself..this one’s almost empty..”

“M’not that late, am I?” He chuckles as he makes his way to the counter, looking between you and the bottle.

“Hey..it’s a small bottle! This is only my third glass and I’ve barely even touched it.”

“Rough day?” He’s pulling plates down now and retrieving a glass for himself from the cabinet.

“Rough week. Rough few weeks, really.” You take a few more sips as you watch him prepare a plate of food. You figure he’s just making his own, and you wait patiently for him to finish so you won’t be in the way. But when he makes his way around the counter, he’s holding two plates in his hand and wow you want to jump from your spot and kiss him. You restrain yourself, as hard as it may be, and try to focus on the question he’s asking you.

He holds the plates towards the table and then towards where you sit on the couch, silently wanting to know where you’d prefer to enjoy your meal. You pat the spot next to you, inviting him to move closer, knowing how much effort it would take to lift yourself from your warm, comfy spot to go eat at the table.

“Emily still on vacation?” 

“Yes! And she expects us to do double the work while she’s gone! It’s her 3rd vacation this year. I know she’s the boss but..”

“Doesn’t mean she has to be a bitch to you.” He finishes your sentence for you, brow furrowed, upset at even the idea of someone mistreating you in the slightest. 

“Right! Thank you!” 

You hold your hand out to accept the plate he’s made for you, “Got our usual, hope that’s alright.”

“Yeah, that’s fine. I was just joking earlier about you paying for all of it. I’ll pay you back for my half.”

He’s already shaking his head no, stuffing a bite of food in his mouth, “It was my turn anyway, r‘member? You paid for those tacos we had last week.”

“Right, I did. Forgot about that.”

You watch him devour a few more bites, your eyes darting from your plate to his, “Yours looks better.”

“Huh?”

Maybe it’s the wine making you more bold, you’d normally never complain, “Your plate it just..looks better than mine. Switch with me.”

“It’s literally the same thing..and I’ve already eaten half the noodles off mine.” He looks mildly annoyed at even the suggestion.

“Don’t care..it looks better. Switch.” You realized just how bratty you sound, so you add a quick, “Please?”

He huffs dramatically, switching the plates and giving you a sarcastic smile, “Happy?”

You return his smile, blissfully unaware of his annoyance in your tipsy state, “Very, thank you.”

You both turn your attention to the tv you realize now you had forgotten to pause, so the movie had progressed further, about 30 minutes in now.

His irritation has already faded when he asks, “What are y’making me watch?”

You start to explain the plot but stop mid-bite of your food, “Wait..have you never seen this movie?”

He shrugs, “Doesn’t look familiar.”

“Oh we’re definitely starting it over then!” 

“No, ya don’t hafta..”

It’s too late, you’ve already discarded your now mostly empty plate of food, nearly knocking your glass of wine over in your excitement of making him watch one of your favorite movies.

Almost an hour in, you don’t notice that Harry’s eyes have drifted to you. In fact, they’d mostly stayed on you since you’d restarted the movie. Your facial expressions were better to him than any movie; the way your eyes softened at the more heartwarming parts, or when your mouth formed a soft ‘o’ and gasped at parts he was certain you had probably seen at least a dozen times before.

You clasp your hand over your heart dramatically and he doesn’t even flinch, just listens intently when you say, “I love this part..this is the moment.”

His eyes temporarily flash back to the tv then, “The moment?”

“Yeah, you know, the moment. Where the guy looks at the girl and realizes he’s in love.” You sigh deeply, “I always wanted someone to look at me like that.”

Oh, you mean like what’s happening now between us? God he hopes for just a glance from you, a chance to show you that you’re living your own moment now if you’d just look at him. 

It’s tumbling out of his mouth quicker than he can stop it, his mouth working faster than his brain, but it’s a low enough whisper he thinks maybe you won’t hear.

“I think I’m in love with you and I don’t know what to do.”

You do hear him, though you don’t believe it at first. Your hand is still resting over your heart, searching his face for any sign of teasing or dishonesty.

“H..did you just..?”

He’s looking down at his hands, fingers fiddling with one of the rings adorning his fingers, nodding before replying, “I did.” 

“How long?”

“Um..since the first week we’ve lived together? That first night we made dinner together and it was a disaster. Thought you were gonna catch the place on fire.” A giggle escapes him at the memory of you, rushing around the kitchen that night, face flushed red and hair a mess.

“That’s my moment? Almost burning our apartment down?”

“That and now, yeah. Just been strugglin’ with the best way to tell you. S’pose the wine’s making me a lil’ more fearless,'' He takes a deep breath, still not able to look at you in case he finds even a hint of rejection on your face, “But I understand if you don’t feel the same..”

“I do.”

His head snaps to look at you then, eyes widening for a second before he composes himself, “Really?”

You can’t stop the smile that blooms across your face at the sight of the thrill in his eyes. There’s a new buzz of elation in the air, but neither of you make a move at first. A pleasant tension fills the space between the two of you.

You break the silence, “So..what do we do now?”

“S’all up to you how fast and how far we take this. M’all in though, ready when you are, love. A cuddle might be nice while we finish the movie, if you’re up f’that.”

“I think I could handle that. I want something else first though.”

He’s trying to read your mind, thinks he knows exactly what it is, but he wants to hear you say it. Wants to hear the words he’s been waiting to hear for what feels like a lifetime now.

“Kiss me, Harry.”

You’ve already turned your body towards him; the movie, the food and the wine all long forgotten. He clears the space between the two of you easily, a hand on the side of your neck to add just enough pressure to pull you towards him.

Your lips crash against his, noses bumping at first but it doesn’t stop you, it only makes you crave him deeper and closer. You press your knees into his thighs, pushing yourself up so that you hover over him, your hair falling around his face. It’s still slightly damp from the shower, and his hand comes to rest on the back of your head now. 

There’s a smug look on his face when he pulls away, a hand still placed on your hip to hold you steady. He’s still breathless when he asks, “Did you use my shampoo?”

When you wake up in his bed the next morning, you question if last night was a mistake. You don’t regret it, not for a second, just wonder if maybe things will be different in the morning light. 

So when you barely touch the plate of eggs and toast he’s made for you for breakfast, he worries you’re having second thoughts about him, that he’s ruined any friendship you’ve already built by rushing into a relationship. 

So when you say, “Did you really mean what you said last night..about loving me?” He visibly relaxes, dropping his shoulders and beaming at you from across his own breakfast plate.

“Oh, darlin’,” He plucks a piece of uneaten toast from your plate, winking at you as he does, “You don’t know the half of it.” 

[pbandjesse]

Today was a pretty good day. It was unseasonably warm. Not that I noticed for most of the day because our apartment holds in the cold. But it wasn't even that bad in here. I was comfortable in my outfit when I was in here. I was not when I went outside.

But it was a nice day. I woke up in a pretty good mood. I did not get out of bed for a while. Just watched tiktoks and scrolled. I would get up and get dressed eventually but there was no urgency to it.

I did like my outfit a lot. My hair was very dirty and I would wash it tonight. But I just threw it in buns and off I went.

I did some cleaning. Wiped down the walls and cabinets in the kitchen. We were going to vacuum but it needed to charge. So while we waited I made myself lunch and signed in to style.

I only had one person and I as I was finishing that up I got the alert that I needed to restart my Chromebook to download to my drive. Alright. So I finished up my work and did that. And then was locked out of the laptop. Again. Like happens every time we have to restart this stupid machine. Its supposed to have the same password as my gmail. But for some reason it wouldn't work!!! It kept asking for a different password. Even with the 2 factor phone check. It still wouldn't let me in.

Until it would. Under the condition that it erased my entire computer. Again. This is like the 3rd or 4th time this year. And its not the worst. But I was sad. All of my screen shots and stuff. The photos I downloaded off facebook. I didn't actually lose anything. But it would take a lot of work to get it all back. I was dealing and was trying to not be sad. But then I couldn't get into any of my other emails. Including my styling one. I just couldn't get in. And I didn't even have my boss's email. I had to text Jess to get it. And then my boss wouldn't get back to me until closer to 5 tonight and she didn't understand that gmail wouldn't let me change the password without an admin because its not a private account and is a work account. And am just so frustrated by the whole thing.

So I tried to just focus on something else.

I cleaned up my studio and cut a few bears. I made 4. Which is the tiny goal Im giving myself every day this week. I put some finished pieces back in the baskets. And sewed and tried to be in a better headspace.

I went back to cleaning. Did the bathroom. And then played animal crossing for a bit. One of my favorite characters, Cyrano, asked to live on a construction site. And I had a great time making that.

Once I was done I decided to go out. I needed to go out and do something.

I drove out to the Target shopping center. I listened to a podcast. Enjoyed looking around in the different stores. I went to five below and DSW. I didn't get anything but I had a nice time.

I went to target next. I found a few pieces of clothes I really liked but the sizes weren't exactly right so I passed. If they have them next time well see. I did get this fleece that I love. It was on super clearance. And I love it. Excellent.

I got some snacks and candy. Some things for sweetP. Hair tyes. And then went over to five guys for a little dinner.

I ate in the parking lot. Enjoyed the sunset. And then headed home. My eyes were getting tired.

When I got back we had a card from Ellen. It was so kind of her. She even sent me furby stickers. What a sweetheart.

I put things away. And hung out with James. I vacuumed finally. And gave sweetP a new toy. I played animal crossing for a little. James went to their parents' after work to get some wrapping paper. I spent an hour and a half wrapping my tote bags worn out handle. Working on some visible mending examples. And once that was done I took a shower. I am trying a new way to dry my hair. And I am just ready to close my eyes.

I have work tomorrow. But it should just be one tour. I am looking forward to a nice day. The wind is picking up and there might be snow this week. I hope it is pretty flurries.

Sleep well everyone. Take care of each other. Wash your hands.

[dream-of-kpop]

DK and H(y)oshi

*the van comes to a stop on the highway because of ice*

Driver: "Guys, it looks like it's gonna be a while." *turns on the heat*

Seventeen: "Ok."

*everyone goes back to being busy with their phones*

*DK nudges Hoshi beside him*

DK: "I brought my Switch, do you wanna play??"

Hoshi: "yEs-"

*DK excitedly sets his Switch on his lap and turns it on*

Hoshi: "What games do you have??"

DK: *sees the screen loaded up* "Animal Crossing, Mario Kart...I just got Perso-"

Hoshi: "MARIO KART-"

DK: "OK!!!" *starts the game*

*Seungkwan watches them silently from behind*

*DK and Hoshi both pick their characters: DK as...well Donkey Kong and Hoshi as Yoshi*

Hoshi: "OOO I WANNA PLAY HYRULE CIRCUIT!"

DK: "OKIE!"

*the game is going well, until the last match, when Hoshi's Joycon starts drifting*

DK: *Donkey Kong zooms past Yoshi for 1st place* "AHHHHHHH I WON! AHHHHHHHH!"

*Jeonghan, on the other side of DK, rolls his eyes*

*Seungkwan gets startled by DK's reaction*

Hoshi: "WHAT??? MY KART STARTED DRIFTING WTF!"

DK: "WHAT?"

Hoshi: "YOU SET ME UP SEOKMIN. YOU KNEW THIS JOYCON WAS BUGGY."

DK: "What??? It's just a game, I didn't set you up."

Hoshi: "suRe yOU diDn't."

DK: "I beat your ass fair and square Soonyoung. Deal with it."

Hoshi: "YOU'RE A CHEATER SEOKMIN-"

DK: "Seungkwan, tell Hoshi I didn't do anything."

Seungkwan: "What?"

Hoshi: "Yeah Kwan, you were watching the whole time. Didn't you see my kart randomly drift??"

Seungkwan: "Honestly I dazed off like a little after the match started. Anyways, how did you know I was watching?"

DK: "I could feel you breathing on my neck dude."

Seungkwan: "Oh, sorry."

Hoshi: "Nevermind then. Watch the highlights, YOU'LL SEE I WAS DRIFTING-"

DK: "Ok, ok..." *presses the button to watch the highlights*

*most of the highlights only showed DK's victories though*

Hoshi: "I WANT A REMATCH BUT WE SWITCH JOYCONS."

DK: "OK IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT THEN FINE!"

*they restart the match with the same characters but this time in a different course, Rainbow Road*

DK: "This is gonna be a hard match so-"

Hoshi: "I GOT THIS."

*yet again the game is going great for Hoshi as he's in 2nd and DK's in 4th...until the last match...*

Hoshi: "LOOK- IT'S DOING IT AGAIN! IT'S DRIFTING! *falls off the map* WHAT TYPE OF SICK PRANK IS THIS??"

DK: "SOONYOUNG, I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO THEM!!"

Hoshi: *pauses Mario Kart* "TELL NINTENDO TO GIVE US NEW ONES."

DK: "FOR WHAT?? THEY'RE FINE."

Hoshi: "I WOULD'VE WON BUT- I DIDN'T CHOOSE THE RIGHT KART AND WHEELS THAT'S ALL. MY STATS WERE BAD."

DK: "BUT YOU WERE COMPLAINING ABOUT THE JOYCONS DRIFTING THOUGH."

Hoshi: *turns and faces the window* "Whatever. I don't wanna play anymore."

DK: *sighs* "I wanted to play Animal Crossing with you. I WANNA SHOW YOU MY VILLAGE."

Hoshi: "..."

DK: "I named my village after you."

Hoshi: *turns his head slightly* "...You did?"

DK: "Yeah...'Hoshiland'."

Hoshi: *turns back towards DK again* "Ok...I wanna see..."

DK: "YAYYYY!" *exits out of Mario Kart into Animal Crossing*

*he loads up his village and hands the Switch to Hoshi*

DK: "Go ahead and play."

Hoshi: "Thank you!!"

*Hoshi plays around in the game for a few minutes*

DK: "I'm getting a little tired but you can play it if you want."

Hoshi: "Really? Ok!"

*DK dozes off for about an hour; he wakes up to see the van still hasn't moved*

*he groggily looks over and sees Hoshi fiddling with the Joycons*

DK: "I thought you were playing Animal Crossing?" *rubs his eyes then yawns*

Hoshi: "I did it."

DK: "What?"

Hoshi: "I saw this tutorial on Youtube. Bro, I fixed the Joycons!!!"

DK: "They didn't need to be fixed in the first place."

Hoshi: "I know what I was talking about earlier. *hands DK a Joycon* One more match."

DK: "Hoshi-"

Hoshi: "I'm not Hoshi right now...I'm Soonyoung." *tries to crack his knuckles but can't* *neither can I honestly*

DK: "Ok fine...let's get this over with..."

*again for the 3rd time, they pick their same characters, and previous layouts for their karts*

*but the course is: Cloudtop Cruise*

DK: "Let's do 200CC this time..."

Hoshi: "Alright bet."

DK: "On Hard mode."

Hoshi: "Alright."

DK: "With Bananas only."

Hoshi: "...Ok I can do that."

*they hit confirm and wait for the race to start*

*3...2...1* *they both press the acceleration button at the same time but nothing happens*

Hoshi: *presses the button like 40 times* "WHAT HAPPENED??"

DK: "WHAT DID YOU DO TO THE JOYCONS??? THEY DISCONNECTED!"

Hoshi: "I FIXED THEM!!!"

*DK takes the Joycon from Hoshi and connects it back onto the Switch*

*he places it into a bag and quietly puts it where Wonwoo is sleeping in the back seat*

*luckily all of the members are either asleep or too preoccupied to notice*

Hoshi: "Wait, what just happened?"

DK: *whispers* "I lied. That wasn't my Switch or my games. That wasn't even my village, it was Wonwoo's."

Hoshi: *whispers* "So you lied to me?"

DK: *whispers* tHat's bEsiDes tHe pOiNt- We messed up his Joycons..."

*they both turn around and peek to see if Wonwoo is still asleep; he is*

*they turn back around*

DK: "Seungkwan..."

Seungkwan: "...What?"

DK: "Please don't tell anyone."

Seungkwan: "Don't worry, you're good."

*Hoshi and DK breathe a sigh of relief*

*Jeonghan smirks to himself while listening to their conversation*

.

hyungwonthefraud

i kinda want a switch now

i just made this story like an hour ago after watching dashiegames. idk what happened.

[rigelmejo]

I don’t know if this extensive reading has helped but I FEEL like it has helped lol. When I started 小王子 how long was it taking a chapter? Just under 5 minutes per page right?

Well I know I got faster than that. Today my Internet was down so while waiting for things to restart and load and stuff I read like 5 chapters of the book. I read them out loud (just a handful of words I didn’t know how to say out loud). I was reading at slow but steady speaking speed so that’s still faster than 5 minutes a page. Ok I just timed myself to test it and I am taking 2 minutes to read a page, and I would guess 3 minutes if I slowed down to consider a bit more on the sayings/less familiar hanzi. That’s better then the 4.5-5 minutes I started at! So I must’ve picked up some words from this book. So I would say... yes a little extensive reading seems to be helping reading speed. Also! I have 16 pages to go! This story is so short. It is sweet and odd and so human though maybe that is why it’s remained loved like Alice in wonderland. (Fun fact I also read 2 chapters of Alice in wonderland in French this week and it is just as bizarre to me as when I watched the movie as a kid, But I do think in book form if I were 6-9 I would’ve related more since Alice’s POV in the story is pretty relatable... and when I was a kid and watched the movie I just did Not relate aha).

Anyway from 4.5 minutes to 2-3 is great!

What I did with graded readers/extensive reading this month, that I am hoping is why this helped:

Read graded reader (butterfly lovers, Pleco, 500 unique characters) - not hard but very satisfying to finish it and read it quickly when it used to take me 40 minutes to read a few Pleco pages of it). So that was a few thousand words comprehensible extensive reading.

Read another graded reader, chinese short stories. While I think it’s good as a study companion, a lot of very specific words which I tripped on (antique coins, being scammed). Which was fine I just think it was not the funnest reading material? It was mostly graded reader though I had to look up a couple handfuls of words.

Read a little of my 500 character Sinolingua reader (2 stories). Also read through the back of it which has all the words in the book, and the HSK 3 words included in the book - I knew all those words but it was a nice refresher. Mostly it was just nice to see how much easier these stories were to read compared to when I first got the book. (I would recommend these books as readers if you want something for adults and in short segments, the short stories are simplified prose from established authors, and the quality of storytelling can therefore be felt a bit. They feel more meaningful as short stories and therefore enjoyable if a bit basic (since they’ve been simplified). You can tell though compared to the Chinese Short Stories book above, which was probably written by a teacher/language textbook maker and not necessarily a literary writer.

Read mandarin companion journey to the center of the earth. 450 unique characters. Another easy read that felt really nice, compared to when I first read a mandarin companion book.

Started reading 小王子 on paper, so extensive reading with little word look up (I’ve looked up less than 10 words so far when reading on paper - notable words I looked up because it frustrated me I didn’t know them: 悲伤，惊奇，惊讶，匆匆，逐渐，观察，测试 a lot of these because I know I’ve seen these Hanzi before I just never remember specifically like 惊讶 惊奇 what the difference is or guan pronunciation 观察 or 测 I tend to forget when it’s not in 测试). I started reading it because it’s supposed to have around 2000 unique words (so not too many), and be pretty easy reading level (so a bit easier than 活着 which is the novel Chinese learners often get recommended). Basically, this was the extensive reading book choice step up from graded readers - it’s got a bit over 1000 unique hanzi, not an overwhelming amount of unique words, but it is not a graded reader so if it goes well I could jump to other stuff of similar or slightly less “ease” while still having it feel this “easy” to read (and hopefully take days to read instead of months).

Started reading 笑猫日记之会唱歌的猫 in Pleco, so clicking words I didn’t know (though this one only had a word or two a page unknown). I saw it recommended on a Chinese learners form as easy reading material after graded readers, and I agree! It’s very easy to read! I could understand it without clicking words but it is nice to understand fully since it’s convenient, and look up the pronunciation etc. I read 8 chapters so far. I also listened to a few chapters after reading, but idk if it helped at all.

15 ish chapters into 小王子 I found it online and reread 4 chapters with a click dictionary for unknown words. It was nice just clarifying the word pronunciations and fuzzy bits, also the online translation was different so seeing the difference on how they decided to word it (mostly just seeing synonyms used instead or different sayings for certain parts). I listened to a couple chapters audio afterwards, idk if it helped.

Unrelated, but I did listen read to 5 chapters of 默读 mainly following the Chinese text so, idk if that would’ve helped my overall reading at all (I want to say no but I did notice in general much more general gist comprehension of lines in MoDu then last time I read a couple months ago - although listening to the audio and being able to glance at the English for unknown words of course also makes things much more comprehensible that’s why listen reading method is the structure it is ahh).

Listened to some audio for 小王子 during work because I happened to find it, for chapters 1-4. Just playing in the background. I looked at the text while listening to one to match pronunciation to some words, since the chapter was like 5 minutes long in listening. Again interesting to see their word choice since It was yet another translation (I think I like my print books translation best).

Back to reading print 小王子 today and I think the audio beforehand did help me with being able to pronounce more of what I’m reading. Read like 4 chapters in one short break, another 3 chapters just now. While I don’t know how well the reading speed will translate to reading harder stuff like guardian (which was oddly also taking me 5 minutes a page? Why is that my default speed?), my reading speed doing extensive reading on “stuff mostly easy” to me has increased noticeably. (Fun fact when I read English technical text like psychology and physics books and educational etc I think my reading speed is it’s like 10-20 pages an hour... I do not read non fiction very fast).

So anyway, my goal with extensive reading easy material this month was to see if I could push UP what my starting base level “easy” material is.

What I used to do is practice with an “easier text” (which was still pretty hard for me tbh) and then once it got bearable (took 30-40 minutes to read instead of an hour), I’d switch to a harder material that took me 1-1.5 hours to read. Then when I’d burn out, I’d go back to that “easier” text until it got easier at 20-30 minutes to read. Then I might pick a harder base reading text (usually what used to be the hard one that would now take 30-40 minutes to read), and find something even harder. Lately that has been 寒舍 as my “easier” text, taking 20-30 minutes a full chapter (2 mini chapters), and 天涯客 as my harder text at 30-40ish minutes a chapter. And yes, at this point I could pick something harder but they’re both hard enough I was just sticking to them. You might notice none of these were actually easy for me though, my actual base easy materials were still graded readers, and manhua. So I want to push that upward until there’s some “easier” material below 寒舍 that I can be built up to and read easily Without a dictionary aid. So I can have a solid base that’s reliable. Hanshe is an “easier” practice material but it’s not necessarily something I can read extensively with ease. But if I keep pushing up the difficulty of what I can extensively read, bit by bit, I will eventually Get it to hanshe (or a little below it realistically but still firmly in regular-webnovel-exist at the reading level). I will not get faster at reading these hard things unless my base level of reading is both higher and already a reasonable speed. (I’m guessing anyway??).

Well happy to say this plan is working. I guess the advice articles I read were right somewhat. I knew graded readers could drag you from 0 beginner to some reading ability, since It’s what I originally did with Chinese (and even French sort of). But I was very quick about it because I’m impatient and easily bored by too-easy things apparently lol. I read 1 mandarin companion graded reader (the 300 word Sherlock Holmes one), a couple chapters of 2 other graded readers, then started on a random webnovel (the bl 他们的故事 which somehow thankfully is on the easier end for novels) and looked a lot of words up to get through. But I did not think to try to “match my reading level and increase gradually” in regular novels, even tho if it works for graded readers it probably works for regular stuff!

And in school in our native languages, that’s why our elementary schools had libraries, and we read books for our age group and the chapter books we read were much easier than what we read as teens or what adults read! I remember bunnicula and cat wings those were not hard but they were chapter stories. Then I remember Dracula and hg wells and mark Twain in high school and how they felt a bit Hard despite me being one of those kids rated at college reading level in 3rd grade. Now as a kid? I had the same tendencies I do now, so I’m not surprised I always jump in the deep end and Try to read hard stuff (and it must help since it’s part of why I got good at reading my native language, and definitely has helped my chinese and french). I would be like 7 and pick up a mitchner novel of My dad’s (is that the author of stuff like Alaska etc?) and I’d read a couple pages and feel drained trying to follow it and give up. Or the huge The Witching Hour by Anne Rice, or HG Wells History of the world, or the biography of benjamin Franklin, I never finished any of these or had any idea what they were about I just got curious and opened up a couple pages every now and then. Yet somehow that must’ve been part of why my reading level so early on was considered “good”? I’m guessing.

But I wasn’t actually good at reading in the sense of doing it often or fast until my dad started reading to me at like age 8-9 I think it was Harry Potter which at the time worked out since the books got harder each time, and also my dad reads out loud slow just like he tutors slow lol so eventually I read myself so he’d stop boring me (I love him and loved the bonding time I’m sure but truly i just apparently always liked jumping in the deep end). Eventually his strategy Im guessing to get me to read slightly harder stuff each time worked, because by books 4-5 I read each in 2 days. He was so impressed because before that I couldn’t read long books and not fast, and that’s when he thought I got good at reading. Looking back lol it’s actually so funny? How much work he had to do to get me to read and how what ended up working I still sort of do now. He started me on Hop on Pop as a kid as my first book cause One Fish Two Fish bored me and I thought jumping on a dad was funny, and he did that just to do something to get me to pick up a book lol. Then he got me that digital book toy they had back then where you had a real book but it was in a digital holder and if you clicked words with the pen it read them out loud. Literally how I learn Chinese now... he really got me digital equivalent to graded readers back then ToT. And just like as a kid I still pick up stuff way beyond my level and just read a couple pages at random. It’s just. Kind of funny to me how much I didn’t really change that much after all ToT

BACK ON THE TOPIC OF APRIL PROGRESS lol ok. I listened to Guardian ep 1 today just in the background so no subs etc and I was Floored by how much I completely understood. I’ve been listening to SpoonFed chinese again (15 audios listened to this month), but I’m floored if it made a difference?! Since I was mostly listening in the background not focusing and missing some stuff. Idk if it made a difference, or listening reading method just that 1.5 hours I did this month or what. Or if my listening skills have been this decent I just don’t test them since I usually watch shows with hard Chinese subs (and read the subs), or watch shows with English subs. So like. Anyway mejo back in what was it august 2019 when I started studying? Would be so happy. Back when I started watching guardian and only knew ni hao and xie xie and zai jian.

Also I can’t even remember now if I did extensive reading guardian (after reading the English translation), this month too or just last month. But I’m sure that helped and I should test general reading sometime of a priest novel. Like.. literally what kicked off the “I should extensive read more” this month is me Desperately wanting to kick up my reading speed after the horrific 25 page guardian chapter I read that took like 1.5 hours.

[betweenthetimeandsound]

Three Minutes to Eternity: My ESC 250 (#140-131)

#140: Lordi -- Hard Rock Hallelujah (Finland 2006)

“You will see the jokers soon'll be the new kings!” I'm semi-convinced that if I heard this song when I was a child, I would've been so scared I would just hide (I also panicked at the cover of Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, though that maybe because I didn't want to read such a long book). Watching it for the first time in 2020, I didn't mind it, though the monsters still puts me off. As much as I like to jam to this one, I can’t see myself listening to it over and over again. That said, one can’t take away from the sheer catharsis of this song, from the opening notes to how Lordi gleefully announces their arrival and thunders down Athens with the arockalypse. Whether it’s the first hard rock winner or the last schlager one, Lordi came, saw, and grabbed a first win for Finland after so many attempts, and made rock more popular in Eurovision for a few years. i You can’t resist yourself from headbanging to this one! Personal ranking: 3rd/37 Actual ranking: 1st/24 GF in Athens

#139: Natasha St-Pier -- Je n'ai que mon âme (France 2001)

“Mais je n'ai que mon âme pour te parler de moi, Oh, juste mon âme, mon âme et ma voix,” “But I only have my soul to talk to you about me. Oh, just my soul, my soul and my voice.” By the turn of the millenium, France switched back to contemporary ballads to represent them. While 1999 and 2000's entries didn't do well, their next two would be really strong songs amongst the weakest years ever, and that's why I appreciate France so much in the contest. Initially, I didn’t get it, because it sounded a bit derivative (not unlike what Celine Dion would sing). However, one thing which won me over was with the intro, which provided the base of a really great build. A soft intro leading to a lush instrumental, it shone above the crowd, and it turned from being "derivative" to being "gentle and sincere. Natasha delivers this with equal parts softness and grace, though the English parts did feel a bit out of place in the end. That might have cost it a (deserved) place on the podium, and France would have wait twenty more years for the next medal-placing. Personal ranking: 2nd/23 Actual ranking: 4th/23 in Copenhagen

#138: Lena -- Satellite (Germany 2010)

“I even painted my toenails for you I did it just the other day!"

Whenever you check the comments of any video on this song, you will note a bunch of angry Turkish people who insist MaNga should’ve won 2010. While I really love their song (and will end up later on the list), Satellite was a worthy winner. Along with its commercial success, Satellite is adorable because it is uptempo, sweet, and infectious. Lena acts like she’s having fun on stage and doesn’t even try to pretend. Her accent, which emerged as a result of her English teacher, adds to the charm and her overall innocence. It’s cute, which can turn off some people, but not me--I really embrace it. Also, Arilena Ara made a cover last year for Eurovision Home Concerts, which you should check out! It keeps the poppy vibe, but adds a funky edge to it. Personal ranking: 4th/39 Actual ranking: 1st/25 GF in Oslo

#137: Lazy Bums -- Shir Habatlanim (Israel 1987)

“עושה לי כוס קפה ומדליק לי הסיגריה יוצא אל המרפסת לפצח גרעינים הציפורים יורדות העציצים של המרפסת ומפזמות איתי את שיר הבטלנים” “I make myself a cup of coffee and light a cigarette I go out to the balcony to crack open some seeds The birds come down to the plants of the balcony And sing with me the bums’ song” The Culture Minister threatened to resign when Shir Habatlanim was chosen for the Israeli entry in 1987, but it adds to the charming element to this performance. After a decade in which the Israeli entries pranced around, this was something different, and the two actors really take on the role. The lyrics were a bit silly, but relatable with the bums not seeing the sun because of the buildings and doing random tasks while hanging out with the birds. The Lazy Song before the Lazy Song, I'm starting to think this is the "reality" on playing hooky, whereas "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" is the "expectations" part (and they are really high in the movie). The Blues Brothers-inspired performance ("We're coming to ya--"), combined with Kobi Oshrat's orchestration, makes this otherwise troll song into a comedic masterpiece. It's three minutes of fun and endearment, and I can't help but smile. Personal ranking: 4th/22 Actual ranking: 8th/22 in Brussels

#136: Antique -- (I Would) Die for You (Greece 2001)

"Κάθησα και σκέφτηκα Κι είδα ότι μ’ αγαπάς Μόνο εσύ, μόνο εσύ" "I sat down and thought Realised that you love me Only you, only you" Greece's first top-three placing in Eurovision is thanks to Helena Paparizou and guy whose name we do not know Nikos Panagiotidis, both who were based in Sweden at the time. They were well known for combining Greek instruments and dance beat; Opa Opa (written by Giorgios Alkaios, see #207 for his entry) is a really good example of this! (Thanks again, Nikos Terzis for composing this too) From the opening bouzouki, Die for You establishes a sense of cool; the pop production following it adds a sense of modernity that the 2001 class lacked for the most part. And compared to Je n'ai que mon ame (#139), the switch from Greek to English is absolutely natural. It feels like being in an exclusive club, filled with dim lighting and a very spacy ambience of it all--though the orange in Parken works as well. And despite being nineteen, Helena oozes cool in all the ways. From her sleek hair to her jumpsuit to how she moves, she makes the song her own, for what it's worth. I frequently find myself copying her handography, though sometimes my desk lamp blocks my left hand, making it feel a bit clumsy. Though I don't say this often, either Antique or Natasha should've won in 2001. Personal ranking: 1st/23 Actual ranking: 3rd/23 in Copenhagen Final impressions on 2001: DR tried to go big with 35,000, but everyone went to drink, and it felt like one hundred. The songs at hand tried hard to be cool, though in some places, we were better off in school. On their own, the strings in our hearts remain broke, though when the trophy did, our minds awoke. Despite the ambitions, the contest would make people leave the room. Thankfully, it was better than that of 2002! :) (On another note, of all the years Italy didn't participate in the contest, 1999 and 2001 were the most irritating. Here, Elisa's Luce (tramonti a nord-est) won Sanremo, and it's a surrealistically beautiful indie song with cool lyrics (especially it was originally written in English, and had to be changed to Italian for the contest). Had they competed, I could see a top-five finish for them, and I could see this as an all-time favorite for me.)

#135: Katerine Duska -- Better Love (Greece 2019)

“Won’t you lean on me You can lean on me Let them look, don’t know, don’t care Go deep with me...” She's not Amy Winehouse, she's Katerine Duska! I had a love/hate relationship with this song during the 2019 season. On the one hand, it’s a really good song, with a lush production and sultry vocals from Katerine Duska. The lyrics, while simple, deals with the theme of love in an interesting way--no matter who you are, you deserve a love that suits you.

On the other hand, considering my grudge towards the 2018 contest, I was worried that this may do well and restart the Greek golden age. That feeling amplified when the rehearsals started, when Katerine and co. had this faerie queene aesthetic. It looked absolutely beautiful, with flowers and fantasy and whimsy. And most important, swords (the MV had sabres whereas the live performance had epees.)!

Of course it qualified, but it collapsed in the final and placed 21st in the end. Some people attributed to how "messy" the staging was, along with Katerine's vocals. In hindsight, I could see it with the former, but the latter remained firm, and she aced that high note.

But it was a good change for Greece, showing that they can do indie music as well as pop and ethno. And Katerine's non-Eurovision songs are fantastic; especially check out Autumn Again and Athenian Skies! Personal ranking: 4th/41 Actual ranking: 21st/26 GF in Tel Aviv

#134: Netta -- Toy (Israel 2018)

“Wonder Woman don’t you ever forget You’re divine and he’s about to regret...”

This has been a total phenomenon ever since its release. However, it’s also quite polarizing, with some people really bopping to this one whether it's on the radio or Tik-tok, and others getting repulsed by the chicken noises or the strong message it provided.

For me, it's Toy's "in-your-face' nature which makes it really special. From the first listen, there's the element of surprise with Netta's looping (the MV intro on Spotify >>> regular studio intro). It then builds until Netta announces herself as a "beautiful creature" and that she wasn't going to be bullied by others. While the songwriters definitely used the "Me Too" movement as a vehicle for the song, it's Netta's influence, along with the Mizrahi instrumentation in the chorus, which packs a punch. Without those chicken noises, Toy would fall flat.

The staging had to be worked on several times, but the final result captured the song's kookiness in every way. From the fake looper to the backing dancer's choreography, the following three minutes is an explosion of fun (though some of the energy died on stage on first viewing).

In short, Netta deserved to win, and those who suggest otherwise is just mean.

Personal ranking: 5th/43 Actual ranking: 1st/26 GF in Lisbon

#133: Mariza Koch -- Panagia Mou, Panagia Mou (Greece 1976)

“Κι αν δείτε ερείπια γκρεμισμένα, όι-όι μάνα μ', Δεν θα 'ναι απ' άλλες, απ' άλλες εποχές, Από ναπάλμ θα 'ναι καμένα, όι-όι μάνα μ'…"

“And if you see shattered ruins, oh oh my Mother, It's not from other, from other eras It is burnt by napalm, oh oh my Mother...”

In their second appearance at the Eurovision Song Contest, Greece sends this politically-charged song to criticize the invasion of Cyprus two years before. The Greek military junta at the time wanted to unite the island with mainland Greece, which led to a coup. As a result, the Turkish government invaded Cyprus, and declared the non-recognized Republic of Northern Cyprus. This status remains to this day, which has hindered Turkey's admission to the European Union.

(Interestingly enough, Turkey broadcast this contest despite not participating, and censored the Greek song to replace it with a patriotic song. Haha)

Dark context aside, it ties into the folk tradition during that time, but adds a Greek touch to it with the bouzouki. Combined with thoughtful yet tragic lyrics, it stands out as a darker yet deeper tone from the 1976 contest. Mariza also conveys this with her clear, yet harsh vocals pinpoint the horrors of what was going on. Also, the orchestration adds to the grandeur of this with its lush strings.

Personal ranking: 3rd/18 Actual ranking: 11th/18 in Den Haag

#132: Chocolate, Menta, Mastik -- Emor Shalom (Israel 1976)

בוא, בוא, בוא עוד היום”, אני עוד כאן אז בוא אמור שלום, אמור שלום

“Come, come, come today, I'm still here so come say hello Say hello..”

From one heavily politically charged song to a slightly less so, haha! Emor Shalom is s very playful and cute song, the three girls charm their potential lover (or diplomatic) with their voices and dance moves.

The hidden political context comes from "shalom"--is it hello, or is it peace? When the song was performed, Israel had been independent for thirty years, but their geopolitical relationships were not good with their neighbors. So the three girls, who sung for the military, were not only hoping for a lover, but also for peace.

The song itself incorporates some elements disco with trumpets, which got me into it in the first place. I'm not entirely sure about how the latter works--they are fine, but it does feel a bit cartoonish. While the lyrics are a bit simple, they still add to it.

Personal ranking: 2nd/18 Actual ranking: 6th/18 in Den Haag

#131: Sonja Lumme -- Eläköön elämä (Finland 1985)

“Kaupungissa on yö, puistoon kanssasi jäin Sä seisot edessäin täynnä toivoa” “It’s night in the city, I stayed in the park with you You’re standing in front me full of hope” Top ten anime opening themes, part two!

From the intro until the end, I love how Eläköön elämä progresses. It not only has a sound which matches with music trends (along with those mullets, but it's the 1980s so we can move on about this...), but also has a joie-de-vivre in terms of the lyrics. I've heard about it being connected to the Cold War; considering it was before glasnost, I'd imagine one of the themes here was to enjoy every moment before the world ends.

Ossi Runne's orchestration mixes the punchy pop-rock with some really good strings and brass. An awesome instrumentation and hopeful lyrics, when put together, you’ve got one of Finland’s best ever entries.

Personal ranking: 1st/19 Actual ranking: 9th/19 in Gothenburg

Final impressions on 1985: While Sweden first hosted in 1975, the production ten years later shows their capabilities in putting on a good show. From the graphics to the stage to Lilli's hosting, it's a totally fun experience. The songs were a bit weaker than it, though there were enough gems to keep the mood buzzing. Plus, there were several good orchestral moments there (especially #193) which made it all the better!

[plussizeappreciationfics]

Hi, I apologize if this is the 3rd time you're receiving this ask. My phone is a whore who hates me. The ask was if you're willing to do a Zak Bagans with a Middle Eastern girl. You can make it however you want, I don't see many fics for Zak nor a Middle Eastern girl. I thought you could do this because you have an amazing writing talent whose not appreciated how you should be. I understand if you don't want to do this. Thank you. 💜

Having Zak wanting you back after a bitter break up includes: 

-The two of you having broken up because his busy schedule got in the way and it resulted in you barely being updated on his movements and return home

-Zak having come home to all of your belongings gone and a short note on the coffee table that said to not ever contact you again

-The heartbreak affecting the two of you immensely, you even having to block his meddling friends on your phone and social media accounts as they started to spam you

-Zak quickly diminishing his projects before announcing that he’d take a long break 

-Him then sending you a long apology letter through the mail where he apologizes for everything bad he has done to you and promises to become better so that the two of you can restart your relationship

-His letter making it hard for you to move on, no other guy being able to make you feel as special as he did

-Him then sending you daily sweet messages whenever you cross his mind, which is often so you go to bed with at least five “I love you” messages

-Zak then having the most beautiful bouquets of flowers and sweets delivered to your home and work place, hoping that you’ll accept them

-Which you do and send him short thank you messages in return before continuing your day with a bright smile and fluttering heart in your chest

-Weeks later, you finally letting him see you

-The meeting being very emotional, you telling him about how neglected and unloved you felt and Zak listening to your every word and feeling so disappointed in himself for letting it all get to that point

-The meeting ending up with the two of you hugging and letting each other know that you want to start fresh

-Zak then always dropping by with your favorite foods and drinks, sometimes the two of you simply cuddle or cook together. Other times he sits down and opens up to you about his insecurities and biggest fear, showing you a side of him you’ve never seen before

-Your connection growing each day and the love becoming more intense

-Him then taking you out on dates, some are fancy and other are just casual but you appreciate every effort made in them

-Your walls around your heart slowly disappearing 

-You and Zak officially getting back together and being stronger than ever

 Tag list: @jamesbarnesappreciationclubub  l @pleasantdreamqueen l @disneymarina l l @harleycativy  l @sparklemichele l @melaninmarvel l @amethyst09 l @the-force-of-imagines l @bossyboyd03 l @pebblesz892 l @stars8melanin l @brittyevans l @toc1985 l @janeyboo l @badassbaker l @winters-beauty l @cannonindeez  l @ilovefanfic86  l @adorablespecialsnowflakes l @brittanyovens l @kanupps06 l @jazmynejack l @thebookwormslytherin l @theunsweetenedtruth l @talannalew l @littlexmissxfandomxlover l @amethyst-dreams-and-candy-canes l @crimsonash330 l @booklover2929 l @aranelgrey l @panda-duuu l @thisismysecrethappyplace  l @titty-teetee l @honey-anon l @princess-evans-addict l @hp-hogwartsexpress l @malindacath  l @letsdisneythings l @scorpionchild81 l @shado-raven l @alisoncdariel l @plutoneu l  @queenoftheworldisdead l @briannab1234l @miyaeadys-blog l @thenamelesscorpse2185 l @hihellogoodbyebruh l @nackrosor l @nerdgurl1985 l @2darkskinbeauty l @bugngiz l @african-melanin-goddess l @barnes-wilson-love l @ktiz90 l @let-the-love-in l @forlornfortitude l @robinredboob l @hopefuloperaangelnerd l @kola95 l @partypoison00 l @alwaysadreamingoptimist l @reniescarlett l @g0thicdream l @mayasopinions l @captaintightpants58 l @leillee

-Emmanuelle 💋❤️

[sunflowerhoney]

Can you answer all of the soft questions please darling? 🥰😘

-🍓

Of course sweetheart! 🥰 Thank you so much for sending this! <3 (and sorry that it took me a bit to answer them all!!) 

1. your favourite playlist (made by yourself or someone else)

a very cute playlist that @strawbabie-honey made for me 😊

2. how many houseplants in your room, and what kinds are they?

In my room none because my one cat tries to eat everything 😅but I have two succulents in the one window in my apartment that he can’t reach 

3. your favourite “grounding” activity (anything that involves using the hands/doesn’t involve “spacing out” or escapism - something like gardening, knitting, dancing, cooking)

Coloring!

4. an account on social media whose posts make you smile

all of you guys on here!! Ily <3

5. 5 tv shows that cheer you up

Ratched (especially the Mildolyn scenes lol), The Office, That 70s Show, Adventure Time, Firefly

6. how you get relaxed when you’re struggling to sleep

Usually I either watch Tiktoks/scroll on my phone or I close my eyes and daydream until I fall asleep haha

7. your favourite board game

Ticket to Ride 

8. if you were going to write a non-fiction book on any topic, what would it be?

Maybe something true crime related? I’ve spent a lot of time watching true crime shows lol

9. a quote that you would consider getting tattooed or putting in a frame

“Get out from your house, from your cave, from your car. Get out from the place you feel safe, from the place that you are. Get out and go running, go funning, go wild. Get out from your head, get growing, dear child.” 

If I was getting a tattoo I would probably only want the last line but I would frame the whole thing :o 

10. something you’ve created in the last year that you’re proud of (a playlist, a piece of art, some writing, a craft hobby, a social media account, etc)

Honestly this blog! I’ve really pushed myself to be more social on this blog than I have been on previous ones I’ve had and I’ve met a lot of amazing people because of it! 😊

11. a tip or hack you’ve learned that makes cleaning or tidying easier

Rolling shirts up when you put them in a drawer instead of folding them, it makes it easier to see them and stuff doesn’t get lost at the bottom of the pile :) 

12. if you could make a candle that smelt like anything, what would you pick?

Bookstores!

13. the last so-bad-it’s-good joke you heard

I’ve been trying to think about this one for a while but I’m honestly not sure :o

14. an artist (of any kind) whose work you look forward to seeing

these days I look forward to anything with Sarah Paulson in it tbh 😅

15. the last tv episode that made you laugh out loud

I honestly haven’t watched much TV in a while (other than watching AHS on Netflix) 

16. how you wake your body up when it’s feeling tired, achy or needs a stretch

I like to stretch my back, like side to side and crack my neck. When I’m tired I like to get up and walk around/listen to music

17. a bath, shower, beauty or toiletry product that makes you feel revived, or that you always re-order when it’s running out

I haven’t had it in a while but I used to have a face jelly thing from Lush that I loved :o ( and now I want it again lol), also even though I don’t take baths that often I love bath bombs 

18. a book series you can always escape in

Percy Jackson because nostalgia lol

19. the sport or exercise you enjoy the most, and what’s helped you get better at it

Softball! I played from like 3rd grade until almost the end of high school. What helped me get better was mostly just practicing and not giving up! :) 

20. a skill you’ve picked up in the past few years

Being able to get rid of things, I used to keep sooo much stuff when I was a kid (like every ticket, every pamphlet, every essay lol) and I’ve gotten better about knowing whats worth keeping/what I can let go of

21. a youtube video you find useful, entertaining or relaxing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xuCn8ux2gbs this video is entertaining and informational and I can’t even imagine how long it took the person who made it to put it all together!

22. if you were going to dye your hair any colour of the rainbow, what would you choose?

Pink! or dark purple! 

23. the book you just finished and what you thought (no spoilers!)

A Clash of Kings, it was really, really good but really, really long. I also made the mistake of watching Game of Thrones before reading the books and I feel like its kind of tainted them for me lol

24. describe the most wacky, weird and wonderful at-home outfit you’ve put together

When I was in high school my best friend and I used to dress up in random outfits from her closet, go to the lake near her house and have “photoshoots” lmao i remember wearing a sweater, shorts with black tights underneath and boots and thinking i was the coolest person in the world 😂

25. a game you’re playing that takes your mind off things

Animal Crossing, I restarted my island after ages of not playing recently

26. the film you watched most recently that you could watch again and again

Blue Jay!

27. your favourite flavour and brand of tea

My favorite flavor is raspberry! but im not sure if I have a favorite brand :o

28. a good-will story you’ve heard on the news that’s made you feel hopeful

Any story about people helping animals makes me 🥺

29. a favourite easy recipe: 5 ingredients or less, or takes less than 30 min to make

Edible Cookie Dough :o its basically just mixing cookie dough ingredients minus the eggs but its so good! 

30. a song that makes you want to have a boogie round your bedroom

Electric Love!

[thesunnyshow]

Name: Qiu

Writing Blog URL(s):

@juyeonzz

@the32ndbeat

Age: 19

What fandom(s) do you write for? 

The Boyz and NCT + WayV 

When did you post your first piece?

I posted something way back in September 2019 but then went on a long 9 month hiatus and came back on June 3rd 2020!

Do you write fluff/angst/crack/general/smut, combo, etc? Why?

I write anything except smut and certain themes like disorders or abuse because I’m not too comfortable writing it yet and I don’t want to write it wrong and potentially anger or offend people. 

Do you write OCs, X Readers, Ships...etc?

I write x readers!

Why did you start writing on Tumblr? 

I started writing because I’ve always loved to write and have been doing so since I was little. I got introduced to the writing community on tumblr when I was just aimlessly surfing one day and I remember reading the ‘To All The Boys I Loved Before’ series written by @theboyz-engup and was just so inspired that I made my own The Boyz blog to begin writing. I got into NCT sometime during my hiatus so when I came back from it, I started to write for NCT too.

What inspires you to write? 

The feedback most definitely, shows and books I’ve read and watched too but mostly feedback.

What genres/AUs do you enjoy writing the most?

I like writing angst although most of my works tend to be more fluffy...

What do you hope your readers take away from your work? 

Ah, my works are generally pretty simple but I guess I’d want them to just get immersed in the story like how I was as I was writing it!

What do you do when you hit a rough spot creatively? 

I just watch Netflix or browse through Youtube, sometimes watching videos other times listening to music to find inspo.

What is your favorite work and why? Your most successful? 

My favourite (published) work so far would probably be ‘Wedding bells’ on my tbz account and my Doyoung timestamp at 11:11am on my nct account! My most successful generally would be a Sunwoo timestamp at 11:22pm.

Who is your favorite person to write about? 

For NCT + WayV, I’d have to say Doyoung. For The Boyz, I would say maybe Jacob?

Do you think there’s a difference between writing fanfiction vs. completely original prose? 

Yeah, I guess so. I think when we write fanfiction, we already have an idea of what sort of personality our idols have and we keep that in mind when we write for them but for completely original prose, you create your own characters so in a way, you have to think a little bit deeper for how you want your OC to act or talk.

What do you think makes a good story? 

Sweet and simple description rather than ones that are overly detailed? A story with good flow is good!

What is your writing process like?

Hm, I usually start off with choosing a song on youtube to listen to as I write or I’d have a movie or show playing in the background ( usually it’s Friends these days ) then I’d start writing. I tend to write only at night or have more motivation at night, I’m not too sure why either. 

Would you ever repurpose a fic into a completely original story?

Sure, why not? It’d be interesting but also a little difficult to start to imagine a completely original character in the story since I’d be very used to thinking of the idol who was previously a character in the story.

What tropes do you love, and what tropes can’t you stand?

I love the enemies to lovers trope! I think it’s really interesting because you start off hating each other and it’s cool to see how that gradually progresses to love. I don’t have a lot of tropes I hate but I’ve never really been able to write about werewolves or vampires? It’s just not my thing at all. 

How much would you say audience feedback/engagement means to you?

Oh, it means everything to me! Sometimes when I’m down or unmotivated, I always go back to checking out reblogs or kind things people have said about my works and I’d feel like writing again. It’s like feeling rejuvenated and gaining inspiration to continue with my wips.

What has been one of the biggest factors of your success (of any size)?

I won’t consider myself very successful ^^” although I must say that I’m growing faster than I expected. I think it’s probably because I do update consistently but I’m not sure if that’s going to change once I start school.

Nationality: Singaporean

Languages: English and Mandarin Chinese

Star Sign: Cancer sun ( Not sure if this is relevant but Leo moon and Libra rising too!)

MBTI: INTJ-T

Favorite color: Black

Favorite food: Chocolate cake!

Favorite movie: Spy or Venom ( I can’t choose )

Favorite ice cream flavor: Cookies and cream

Favorite animal: Wolf

Go-to karaoke song: Love Story by Taylor Swift? 

Dream job (whether you have a job or not)?

Professor or an investigative journalist ( Might consider aiming for medical school after uni though… ) 

Coffee or tea? What are you ordering? 

Tea! I really like green tea or jasmine tea.

If you could have one superpower, what would you choose? 

Telepathy

If you could visit a historical era, which would you choose? 

1940s

If you could restart your life, knowing what you do now, would you? 

Yeah, I guess I would. There are a lot of things I’d like to change.

Would you rather fight 100 chicken-sized horses or one horse-sized chicken? 

Oh man, like a 100 chicken-sized horses for sure. A horse-sized chicken? I’d die with one peck.

 If you were a trope in a teen high school movie, what would you have been? 

That one loner kid probably… I’m generally pretty quiet in school.

Do you believe in aliens/supernatural creatures? Nope, not really. 

If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be? 

I’m quite content here in Singapore but I’d love to be able to live in the USA, New York or in the UK, London for once in my life.

Fun fact about yourself that not everyone would know?

I am afraid of the dark.

Do you think fanfic writers get unfairly judged?

Yeah, and I don’t really understand why.

Do you think art can be a medium for change?

Sure, it can be! I think art is sometimes able to tell stories that can’t be told verbally. It moves people in a way and I think it can be used to truly express the artist’s message to their audience.

Do you ever feel there are times when you’re writing for others, rather than yourself?

Honestly, sometimes when I’m unmotivated but mostly no. I love whatever I’m writing when I’m writing it for the most part.

Do you ever feel like people have misunderstood you or your writing at times?

No? At least not that I know of.

Do your offline friends/loved ones know you write for Tumblr?

They do but they don’t know my URL.

What is one thing you wish you could tell your followers?

Thank you so much for believing in me and appreciating my work! I am grateful for every single one of you guys and you are all my motivation to keep writing and produce better written works. Without you all, writing is somewhat duller and hearing that you guys like the work I put out means the world to me. I love you guys!!

Do you have any advice for aspiring writers who might be too scared to put themselves out there?

Don’t be! We all start somewhere and taking that first step may be a little daunting at first but I promise that what follows is going to be magical. You’re going to be able to gain a lot of inspiration and friends, you are going to be able to greatly improve your writing but what’s best is that you’ll feel like you are now part of a writing family on tumblr! Do not be afraid of showcasing your works because there is always bound to be an audience for it and even if your writing style doesn’t suit someone, there’s definitely another group of readers who will love every single piece of work you publish ^^

Are there any times when you regret joining Tumblr?

Nope! I hope I never do.

Do you have any mutuals who have been particularly formative/supportive in your Tumblr journey?

YES and I love every single one of them. Thank you to @jenocakes @atbzkingdom @chaoticdeobi @hae-sicheng @moondustaeil @ihearttbz @badwithten @glossyjaems @lovely-kpop-writer @jopping-to-my-kpop! There are a few more but these are just the ones that pop up in my mind first.

Pick a quote to end your interview with: I’m horrible with quotes but.. ‘My philosophy is that worrying means you suffer twice’ by Newt Scamander! It’s one of my favourites since I find that I worry a lot and doubt myself too often so thinking about this makes me calmer.