#if I just changed as a person
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Me when I remember something I said ages ago that was wrong or my values no longer align with
#my path of self improvement has been less self righteous and personally gainful#and more just. a lot of embarrassment and pain#like i wouldnt change the path i took to get where i am now but i wouldve chosen to travel that path sooner because omg#nothing hits me like the fear that future me will feel the same way about right now me that right now me feels about past tense me
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Fellas. Is it normal to listen to unhappy music and feel like you’re six feet under water in the middle of the ocean, not bothering to drag yourself to the surface, since you lack the energy and motivation, and would still be lost at sea and helpless anyway, and feeling not as though you’re drowning, but as though the ghost of something is whispering cruel nothings into your ears, convincing you that there is nothing better than this, and that even if there were, it wouldn’t be someone like you that would deserve it?
#tw vent#vent#vent post#sure am makin a lot of those huh. I’ll ask my therapist is that’s a good thing or a bad thing.#for context I’m listening to young girl a. it’s a really good song & tbh I don’t really understand the lyrics that well#but the tone just feels. hopeless.#resigned to your fate.#and maybe I’ve felt like that for a while.#if I just changed my actions#if I just changed as a person#I could do better in life#but I won’t. because I won’t.#I’m not certain if I can’t or not. but I won’t. so does it really matter?#I’m sorry if I’m worrying anyone who bothered to read the tags. or even the post haha#I won’t do anything to be worried about. I’m very afraid of pain. which is more useful than you’d think at first.#even mentioning this is probably even more concerning lmao. eh#plus sometimes attention is nice. but usually it’s not. it’s kinda just uncomfortable most of the time#thank god I have therapy tomorrow at least#that’s at least one good thing
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BTW... PSA.... even if we arent mutuals if youre in my notes regularly theres a Very high chance i am still fond of you. yes im vaguing someones tags on the compliment the person u rbed this from post. but like. positive vaguing? THE POINT IS im weird abt following ppl but IM STILL SENDING U FOND VIBES...
#i have to acclimate myself into following people. first i have to spend a few days to weeks checking someones blog manually#and i cant follow too many new people in the same burst or else theres TOO MUCH new unfamiliarity on my dash#and i become a small and easily frightened beast alarmed by change#also im just....................... incredibly picky kjhsdkjjkdsj sometimes ppl i generally am :)! towards do occasionally rb#from someone who i want to throw bricks at. and then i cant follow them but im still :)! when i see them in notifs#and sometimes its just that im going AAAA!!! AAAA!!! and cant put more new things on my dash#or in some cases its someone im fond of seeing/chatting w whenever we have talked BUT they simply are also into stuff im not rly into#and i dont want it on my dash despite liking them as a person. etc. you know how it is#ALL OF WHICH TO SAY................... :)!#rimi talks
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though the movie might be cancelled, yuri on ice will live forever in our hearts. thank you yoi fandom, it's been real ♡
#yuri on ice#yoiedit#yoi#victuuri#ice adolescence#anime gif#*gifs#animangahive#dailyshounenai#userkarura#usergojoana#userhanyi#useralphonse#usertorichi#usermoonz#usericybtch#userheidi#usergokalp#userartless#homuras#himawaari#this is not goodbye this is still my house!!!#devastated but not surprised tbh but i still wanted to channel my emotions somehow and just. express how much this show means to me so here#this thank you goes out to u guys. the fandom#mappa can eat a brick btw <3#god i wish i could articulate just how special yoi is to me#it truly resonated with me like very few other pieces of media have (i can count them with one hand in fact)#it was sooooo revolutionary and ahead of its time not just in terms of queerness but also in terms of mental health#it truly changed me as a person and i just. really appreciate how earnest and kind it was above all#thank you yoi. you will be a part of me forever <3
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Happy B-Day to the Corasante!! ❤🕯🎂🕯❤
(Featuring way too many drawings)
#one piece#drawing#fanart#corazon#cora san#op rosinante#donquixote rosinante#this man has too many names#trafalgar law#op law#donquixote doflamingo#I love cora#he wants to be a good person but is lowkey mediocre at it#he eats like a freak#he looks like a freak#he chose not to speak just bc he's petty#he gave up his life's mission after getting stabbed by a 12 year old#he lied to and betrayed every person that he loved#two out of the three gave him a pass because he was funny one time#he aggresively changed law's life for the better#and he spontaneously catches fire and loses all motor functions#he's literally perfect#anyways law is here because he is simply a good character#can i really put all of this in the tags?#insane
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you really need to raise your standards for what's considered "a phrase" because if it only makes sense in the specific context of the post it was originally found in and it isn't repeatable in other situations, that's not a phrase that has entered the lexicon, that's just something someone said one time.
i started this thing last week i need all the posts i can handle
What doesn't alter your vocabulary may alter, or may have already altered, someone else's. This is not about adding to The General Lexicon - I have an entire tag for things that change this site as a whole, which has a higher bar; this is largely about novelty and humor. This is us curb-stomping whatever the fuck we want into the right form for our needs, whatever those needs may be, including altering aspects of the phrase to fit the necessary format or context. It's a linguistic shotgun.
its my fuckin blog bitch ill shit where i want
#vaps.ask#i use 'phrase added to inventory' to reflect that these are things that may change someone's personal lexicon or that already have#also everything on this site is something someone said one time.#also keep in mind i do not genuinely hate you anon. i'm just slightly flabbergasted that someone comes in#and critiques a gimmick blog that i started Last Wednesday#with clearly arbitrary guidelines and nominations#like...why do you expect quality. you're setting yourself up for failure here#it's a grab bag. a random draw
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friendship is magic
closeups:
#zeno's art#my little pony#my litte pony friendship is magic#mlp#mlp fim#twilight sparkle#rainbow dash#fluttershy#pinkie pie#applejack#rarity#this was a fun redesign practice#tried to be diverse with body type and species as the og show is pretty limited (i understand why tho)#my personal favorites are rainbow dash and rarity#and twilight. i cooked tbh#i feel like a lot of redesigns just add accessories which is fine but i really wanted to change a lot#some more than others#also dashie is a half zebra and pegasus and fluttershy is half pegasus half those little bug ponies that showed up in one ep#pinkie is a sheep#i might do equestria girl designs and slash or some background pony redesigns#idk#enough ramble
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Slugcat distribution system gave them an explosive rabid raccoon and a overpowered sewer rat ❤️
#rain world#rainworld downpour#five pebbles#artificer#looks to the moon#rivulet#fanart#my art#Hiiii so uh little rant but#i changed the way i draw moon quite a bit because i wasn't too content with the old design#i don't hate the old one or anything like that#i just feel like this one fits her a bit more personally#old one also looked a bit too goober-like in comparison to everyone else and was the only one i had not changed at all from the first time#but also also i wanted to make her look a bit more like pebbles because i like giving siblings similar things in designs#i find it cool#and also she is now taller because pebbles being the smallest in the gang is funny to me goodnight chat.
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As somebody who has struggled with mental health all of their life and still does, Jinx's romance with Ekko means the world to me.
I'm sick and tired of people considering mentally ill people just "not interested in love" or, on the other side, "not healthy enough to be loved". Which is utterly stupid. Ekko falling for Powder but clearly showing signs of wanting to learn more about Jinx and on his way to love her too, realizing that her damaged past and issues do change her but she's still his girl. It's brilliant writing.
He can't be a savior to her, because there's nothing to save. There's nothing to fix. The whole message Jayce gives with "there's beauty in imperfections" goes hand in hand with Powder's "sometimes taking a leap forward means leaving a few things behind". Ekko goes from wanting to save her to wanting to see more of her and leaving Powder behind to know about Jinx. With Ekko loving Jinx nevertheless it shows that mentally ill people can be loved. And with Powder reciprocating and Jinx making amends with Ekko (with the romantic context behind already seen) it's breaking the whole stereotype of her being this "insane maniac with no remorse and unable to show love".
So I guess what I want to say is that their relationship would've worked in another universe, but I want to believe it could've worked in this one (with time), too.
#i'm using powder/jinx as a metaphor for better/worse mental health and trauma and how i percieve the character#powder and jinx are the same person and jinx is still her but she's different and we also have to acknowledge that. ekko too#when he's about to call her powder but changes it to jinx i am sobbing here ewjkjfbwejkefbewk#just saying this as someone who genuinely usde to believe they couldn't be loved or even love for who they were and their mental issues#jinx and ekko mean everything to me fr#arcane#timebomb#ekko arcane#jinx arcane
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maybe if jason's or just everyone's pov in heroes of olympus was written in the first person's, they would've been liked way more? i swear I feel like if jason's pov was written that way, it would've been way more hilarious, and would've made his dry offhand remarks alot more funny? (like say, percy's 'i said hello to the poodle' it's sort of the dry kind of thing jason says in his chapters all the time, but they're not considered funny because it's told through third person limited) and even leo's humor would've been tripled. it was, in my opinion, a wasted opportunity truly.
#bc psychologically everyone was used to percy in the first person's that switching to a NEW character in a NEW pov setting is a huge change#and I sort of understand why ppl just couldn't get used to jason#pjo#pjo fandom#percy jackson#pjo series#pjo hoo#pjo hoo toa#jason grace#annabeth chase#leo valdez#piper mclean#frank zhang#hazel levesque#hoo#heroes of olympus#rrverse#the seven pjo#percy jackson fandom#percy jackon and the olympians
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arcane spoilers (s2ep09) incoming
so ive seen people talk about this scene, particularly about how jayce accepts viktors touch even when he knows its coming and could potentially dodge it/counter it with the hammer
from what ive read mostly people talk about how much affection (ha) and trust jayce puts in viktor, and personally i also think its because he saw the future and knows its the only way to reach him
if he wants to save him, save piltover he must strip away all the walls viktor has built around himself and his emotions, and thus jayce needs to be let into the hive mind where he can talk to actual viktor and not herald (also parallels to that scene when he shoots him, someone said he didnt let viktor utter a word because he knew he would convince him THEY ARE SO WEAK FOR EACH OTHER MY GOD)
but thats not what i wanted to talk about!! going back to the beginning of that scene on the rooftop
doesnt this seem awfully similar to the medieval coronation ceremony?
jayce is kneeling surrounded by followers/past inhabitants of zaun/piltover, during medieval coronation ceremonies it was a priest who would bestow the crown upon the future king. moreover, coronation was often considered a religious rite because of how rulers and deities were closely tied (different cultures would believe in different versions of this, that their ruler was chosen by gods or perhaps their descendant/vessel).
we already joke how viktor became god/jesus/deity/eldritch cosmic being etc, we also know despite everything he still holds strong feelings towards jayce (damn hypocrite) and views him differently than the others
so it would make sense he would wish to personally "introduce" jayce to his hive mind cult
notice how when jayce got to the roof NONE of the marionettes/machines tried to get to him asap unlike they do with others
no, this is a ceremony performed by their god who is choosing the one closest to him, demonstrating to the world how he wishes jayce to be the ruler of his glorious evolution
viktor places his fingers on him gently and carefully, while when they were fighting in the councils room he was ready to force his touch when jayce initially rejected his proposal (always trying to make jayce understand his perspective)
and jayce accepts it with so much serenity and solemnity that in that moment reminded me strongly of aragorn in lotr
a true king in the eyes of the one coronating them
also his unique fingerprints make me think of a crown/circlet every single time i see them and thats why i wrote all of this
i love all things related to medieval knighthood/royalty so this whole interaction has been boiling in my head until it spilled over, you are welcome
#arcane spoilers#arcane#jayvik#jayce talis#viktor arcane#jayce x viktor#yaoi so good it changed me as a person#i genuinely have not had a normal thought since the finale#also i havent really posted any blogs where i just?? talk?? happy yapper blog virginity loss
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ty to @icedmatchawoatmilk13 for sending this to me! i may have gone a bit overboard but this was so much fun to fill out/think about BAHAHA💖 ill still never get over how perfect the song sarah smiles is for them...the lyrics AND the fact that its an alliteration...im gonna do an animatic about seb and clora to that song one day i swear 😩 ((blank template by oakwolves!))
#like fr....'i was fine just a guy living on my own/waiting for the sky to fall/till you called and changed it all doll' LIKE!!!!!#makes me think of seb just waiting/dreading for anne to die but then clora comes along and changes everything/saves anne AND him#ok sorry my squeeing and yapping about how perfect this song is for them is done#choccyart#clora clemons#the hardest part of this chart for me to fill out was the starting arguments one honestly...but i think theyre pretty even LOL#clora is the ROOT of their arguments usually and then seb just reacts to her bullshit......so its a 50/50 LMAO. cause and effect#also sebs pda WOULD be at 100% if not for clora LMAO#and sorry for making seb h*terosexual😔 honestly i cant see either of them with anyone else hes just clorasexual tbh#also if i could have given seb an autumn birthday I WOULD HAVE but i needed his bday to be early on in my fic...for reasons...#looking at aquarius personalities tho i DO think it unintentionally suits seb a lot#i wouldnt have made cloras bday in april either if i could have chosen freely i would have done either summer or december#but then again i just recently learned that the birth flower for april is DAISIES!! so its perfect🥰#youd think i would know this since my bday is also in april LMFAO i like how i only care/do this research when its about my ocs and not me#BAHAHAH priorities!!!
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I think that Jason’s blood being green after the pit would be funny because he would absolutely not explain ANY of it to the heroes outside of his family
in a JL fight, Jason getting stabbed:
Flash: holy crap dude are you good?? ..wait
Jason: …
Flash: …
Jason: too much monster energy
#alternatively he claims he had too much yellow and blue Gatorade#the drinks just change for each new person#they all converse and get extremely confused#I know green blood isn’t canon at all but it would be silly#jason todd#batman#batfam#red hood#justice league#flash#btw don’t support monster but DO support Jason!!!
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illario as the grandchild that is most like caterina is something i'm loving to chew on. the grandson that took her lessons to heart the most. kill anyone who sees your face and knows your name, "we are not revolutionaries", the first out of the two to prioritise the contract. power at any cost, and the only one to lean into the unnecessary abuse that their grandmother told them was tradition. why is anyone surprised he allied with the venatori? and then there's illario's considerable skill in infiltration and manipulating any mark, he has always had the charisma that lucanis lacked. illario isn't attached, he has/can/will use someone and immediately drop them; "that does free me from promises i don't intend to keep". he can lie about how much he cares so well that he fools a magister into believing he loves her. he kills zara without hesitation to cover his own tracks, meanwhile lucanis blindly promises a young girl in the middle of a siege that he will help her find her father. even the lessons about family stick with him, and in this entire messy power struggle, he never actually orders anyone to directly kill caterina or lucanis, not until he's backed into a corner.
and even after all that. despite even lucanis believing illario should be first talon, lucanis is still the better killer. illario is not strong enough to be the brutal assassin caterina needs him to be. so when lucanis seems to fill the role his mother left, grief and love for her dead heir apparent remains, and any of the other qualities caterina needs in her next talon doesn't matter. whatever his mother was, lucanis has to be. what illario does doesn't matter, because he will always be second best to caterina's memory of her favored daughter.
#<- guy who's only seen succession: this is just like shiv and logan#last point is kind of meta and hcish. idk how much caterina cared about her children and lucanis' mother. grain of salt everyone#but it would make sense to me. woman projecting her grief so hard it fucks up the next generation#at the end of the day realistically the best person to lead this criminal organisation is the sweet talker with no morals#who can rally their assassins and negotiate his way out of anything#not lucanis 'this crow has a heart' dellamorte. who i think would also be a fairer leader but#well. his leadership style would take a decidedly different turn. is that something he can afford as first talon??? like you know.#THE ASSASSIN GUILD? WITH THE VERY BLEAK HISTORY? 'WE'RE NOT HEROES ANYWHERE COUSIN' ?????#LED BY LUCANIS 'would rather endanger the mission than kill innocents' DELLAMORTE !!!!?#i would be less weird about it if the game acknowledged he's a 'kind' crow more explicitly and like#how this would change the crows. but realistically. and biasedly. i think illario makes a better (more morally grey too) talon#and also zevran should be here#anyways. im normal.#illario dellamorte#caterina dellamorte#lucanis dellamorte#dragon age#veilguard spoilers#dav spoilers#dav#edit: NOTE I AM SAYING ILLARIO MAKES. A BETTER TALON AND NOT A GOOD ONE#his number one dickriding glazer but i would not go that far. sorry babe.
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Friendly (or unfriendly if you're against this) reminder that this blog is supportive of ALL disorders. This blog does not think ANY disorder inherently makes someone a bad person, and is against any disorder being demonized. This blog wholeheartedly believes that a bad person having a disorder, yes, even if things that are also symptoms of their disorder are part of what caused harm, does not make the disorder a "bad" or "evil" disorder or excuse ableism and demonization directed towards the disorder.
Yes this includes personality disorders
Including npd and aspd
Yes this includes all psychotic disorders & disorders that cause psychotic symptoms
Yes this includes paraphilic disorders. All of them.
Yes this includes disorders that cause, or are even characterized by, attention seeking
Yes this includes disorders that directly have lying as a common symptom
Yes this includes dissociative disorders
Yes this includes any disorder with "gross" symptoms
Yes this includes physical disorders too
Yes this includes disorders that can cause loss of control of any kind- control of speech, control of body movement, etc.
Yes tis includes disorders that make someone "look scary"
This goes for literally any fucking disorder. There are not exceptions.
#disability activism#ableism#demonization#disability awareness#personality disorders#npd#aspd#psychotic#psychotic disorders#paraphilic disorder#attention seeking#pathological lying#dissociative disorder#idk what other tags to put#also additional note I literally have a couple disorders on this list#and symptoms of several too#so if you're thinking of trying to argue on this post just fuck off#I guarantee you will not change my mind#and I don't want to hear it either
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boo! old woman jumpscare
greyscale vers below!
#marshdoodles#isat#in stars and time#cw drinking#cw blood#<- just to be safe#people really seemed to like my odile hurt sprite redraw huh 😊😊😊😊#im so glad 😊😊😊#that redraw in particular kicked my ASS btw#ohhh my god why did i decide to change the pose. i think it turned out really good tho so w#also slipped in some personal hcs for how craft would look in color? i need to explore those ideas more#they don’t really translate too well with odile’s craft style#anyways!!! odile!!! she’s so much more fun to draw than i expected#i love drawing her hair so much… so shaped…#did have to adjust her palette a little tho (i think i only changed the book color and the gems)#overall just really happy with my design for her teehees#enjoy the old woman I Suppose
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