#if I get banned for this I am going to piss myself laughing

[the-real-list-of-ominous-threats]

exploding hammers

[thesharkwhalewhoohooooo]

Bridget x Fem! Reader

"My girlfriend got me a dead rat for my birthday!" Charming proudly puffed up his chest, looking at the group of girls in front of him when they staid quiet for a bit too long.

"What?"

"She got me a dead rat!"

"She couldn't even go for an alive one!" Hecate burst out laughing, Bridget slapping her arm, along with Ella's.

"Ella! Why would you do that?" The girl shrugged, Charming quickly taking over, again.

"Because she loves me! She's obviously like a cat and is giving me food because she thinks I can't hunt for myself!" They all gaped at him once again, this time Ella did too.

"She's sitting right there..."

"I AM NOT A CAT STUPID CHARMING!"

Before she could completely maul the boy, Bridget pulled Ella off of him.

"Let's not kill our boyfriends, all right Ella?" She gritted her teeth, but nodded, a fierce glare fixed upon her boyfriend.

"I mean, I know my strap game is amazing but-?" Bridget all but ran over at her girlfriend, slapping her hand over her mouth and giving her her own glare.

"Don't." Hecate's eyes widened slightly, beforr Bridget felt her smirk.

"You're so hot." Her words were muffled but they did their job of making Bridget flush red just as good.

"Hecate!" The witch pulled her hand off of her mouth and picked her up to kiss her, spinning her around slowly.

"You're so pretty..." she mumbled onto her lips, making the princess giggle.

"Not as pretty as you sweets!" They heard Ella gag, Hecate looked at her and glanced at Charming, arching a brow suggestively at her.

"STUPID HECATE!"

"DON'T THROW YOUR SHOE AT ME! I'M HOLDING BRIDGET!"

-

"What did you do for Bridget's birthday though?" Charming asked, quite literally the next day because Ella and Hecate couldn't be in the same toom as each other anymore.

"I gave her pink roses, a new apron, oh! And I got her a few ingredients she has been wanting to. Experiment with for a while.... Don't!" She held her hand up in front of her face when she saw Ella reach for something, which pissed her off because she wasn't even going to throw anything.

"I wasn't even going to throw anything!" She threw a rock at Hecate, not that it could hurt her, but she withdrew and pouted as she sat next to Bridget, who patted her cheek.

"It was so sweet of her, she even helped decorate the cookies.... God knows she should be banned from using kitchens!" She joked, smiling as Ella laughed at it and started mocking Hecate.

"That's so sweet! You wanna know what I did?"

"Not really."

"I gave her a dress! And I asked Bridget to make her a cake!" Hecate glanced at Ella, who shrugged.

"You guys haven't been in a relationship long enough." She declared, Ella stood up and launched another rock, missing Hecate by a few millimeters.

"Ha! Missed-! Hey!" This time she hit, and it got her right in her forehead.

She shuffled closer to Bridget, who shushed her and rubbed her forehead softly.

"You're not bleeding Honey."

"You guys have only been dating for like 2 months longer than we have!" The blue haired girl crossed her arms, the other blue haired girl shot her a glare and shuffled EVEN CLOSER to Bridget.

"Yeah! Go back to your mommy little pussy!" Bridget send her a look and she rolled her eyes, sitting back down.

"But yeah, giving Bridget those ingredients was very nice, including the fact that you had me treat the slashes from those griffins you 'had' to defeat on your way back to get her some of their feathers, scales blah blah." She sneaked in another little detail that she had conveniently forgotten to inform Bridget about, who in turn looked at Hecate, who was still pouting, and quickly stood up.

"Hecate and I are going to have a chat in my dorm... maybe we'll see you at dinner, bye Ella, Charming!" They said their bye's back, and Hecate glared at Ella, who smirked at her.

The only thing keeping Hecate from launching at her and ripping her to shreds was Bridget, who was pissed at her.

-

"God damn it you are strong." She muttered, rubbing her wrist when Bridget finally let go, but had now pushed her onto her bed and was zipping down her jacket.

"Hey hey! If you wanted to do something you could've just said.... Oh." She sighed in disappointment when she realised that she was not, in fact, about to have sex with her wonderful girlfriend, but instead was probably facing a scolding that ended in the opposite of that, no sex for as long as Bridget was slightly mad at her, which could end up being something around a day and a month.

"How dare you get hurt because of something you wanted to get for me." Bridget grumbled as she poked at the newly developed scars.

"But they look hot?"

"Shush."

[dreamwatch]

We Gotta Get Out Of This Place

Written for the @corrodedcoffinfest June warm-up round.

Prompt: Band on the run | Word Count: 997 | Rating: M | CW: Language, mentions of sex, mentions of alcohol | POV: Eddie | Tags: Crack treated seriously?, Freak is getting freaky and upsetting the locals, banter, they're idiots | AO3

*I wasn't going to share this one but screw it. This is what happens when you ask your husband for ideas.

****

Eddie has a love-hate relationship with touring. 

He’s living the dream, playing their songs, to their fans. He loves seeing new countries, places he could only dream of as a kid. The band have been to three continents so far, not counting the one they live in. Gareth grandly announced he was going to play all seven. Eddie wished him luck on his solo tour of Antarctica and it was never mentioned again.

The things he hates? The actual travelling. Being away from Steve and Wayne. And hangovers. He really hates hangovers, and something about the travel just makes them worse. They hit harder and last longer. Or maybe that’s just tequila. He fucking hates tequila. But he’s in Mexico so when in Rome… or well, when in Mexico City anyway…

The other thing he hates? Assholes banging on his door in the middle of the fucking night! They played a show last night, an amazing, hot sweaty mess of a show, and he ached and ached because he’s not twenty anymore (and parts of him still hurt for reasons he can’t talk to the band about). But he’s weak and he let himself get dragged along to some bar by the band and some of the crew. And then he got dragged to another bar, saying good night to Jeff and a couple of roadies. And then he was doing the dragging and honestly, after the third bar, he couldn’t tell you where, when or who he was with. Because tequila is the drink of satan and should be banned on all seven of those continents Gareth wants so badly to play.

So he stumbles out of bed, way too fast considering he’s only been in it for about an hour and he’s only one step away from blind drunk, tossing bed clothes on the floor.

“Whoever the fuck this is,” he bellows, tripping over a discarded boot, “you better be dying!” He wrenches the door open and Jeff barges past him into the room, Gareth on his heels with their bags.

“The fuck is going on?” he asks, spinning so fast he has to grab the edge of the door to keep himself upright.

Gareth goes to the bathroom and Eddie can see him in the reflection throwing all his toiletries into a bag, while Jeff grabs Eddie’s duffle from the floor and throws everything he can see into it.

“Hello!” he claps his hands, “Am I invisible right now?”

Gareth throws the toiletry bag into the duffle and grabs Eddie’s jeans and boots from the floor. “We’re leaving,” he says, kneeling to the floor in front of Eddie, “Leg up.” 

“What the fuck—”

“Leg! Up! Now!” 

He swats at them. “I can dress myself, assholes.”

“We don’t have two hours for you to hop around getting your drunk ass into your jeans, dude.”

He holds onto Gareth’s shoulders because he really is going to fall over in a minute, but he dutifully raises his legs one by one. Once the jeans are on and pulled up to his waist, Jeff pushes him back on the bed so that they can put his boots on, each taking a foot. All Eddie can do is watch in a stupor as they each tie a set of laces. 

“Why am I even getting dressed, what the fuck is going on, man?”

Jeff jumps up and does a last sweep of the room before turning back to Eddie, hands on his hips. Like Steve. If he wasn’t so tired and pissed off (and drunk) he’d laugh at that.

“Because Matt had a threesome last night—“ Jeff starts.

Eddie’s eyebrows nearly hit the ceiling. “With people?”

“With the sister and fiance of some local drug lord.”

Woah, woah, woah. He straightens up. “Wait… his sister is his fiance?”

“Jesus Christ,” moans Gareth. “No. Matt hooked up with the sister. And then he hooked up with his fiance. And now we’re all about to be fucked unless we get out of Mexico tonight.”

“Wait,” he mumbles, brain finally kicking into gear. “Drug lord?” Jeff and Gareth nod back. “Oh shit. Yeah, that’s not good. We should go.”

“Finally!” says Jeff.

“So where’s Matt?”

Gareth grabs Eddie’s duffle along with his own. “Phil grabbed him and ran, hopefully they’re at the airport getting tickets on the first flight out of Mexico.”

Okay, if he was with their manager, then he was probably fine. Right? Right.

They charge down the hallway, meeting some of the crew at the elevator, and when they make it downstairs they’re waved out to a waiting taxi.

Eddie burps ominously, he feels like absolute shit.

“Matt is fucking dead, I swear it.”

Jeff looks horrified. “Dude, don’t joke about that until we’re in US airspace. Please.”

Good point. He leans his head back against the seat and closes his eyes, letting his heart rate return to normal. They all sit in silence for a while.

“Is it just me that’s kind of impressed?” Eddie can’t help himself, it’s just that Matt is so… secretive. “I mean, when was the last time he let us meet anyone?”

Gareth rolls his eyes. “We’re not his parents, dude. He doesn’t have to bring them home for dinner.”

Jeff scoffs, “Well maybe we should put that in his contract. I’d rather not have to run from drug barons in the middle of the goddamn night.”

When they get to the airport Phil tells them they’re booked on a flight to Houston. Matt is sitting there wearing dark glasses and a baseball cap, standing out a mile.

“Houston?” cries Jeff. “What the fuck, Phil?”

“You can blame this asshole for that,” he gestures at Matt. “ It was Houston or Vancouver, or wait for scary men with guns to kidnap your bass player.”

Eddie stumbles over to Matt, snatching the glasses off his face. “You! No more women. Ever!”

And before Matt can open his mouth he adds “And no men either!”

[deeptrashwitch]

Sparring and competition

Kanoa: So today we sparr with each other *looking at the training plan*

Alicia: Yeah, should we start? *while bandaging her hands* public's here

Kanoa: Heh, after you, Licia~

*They both get up into the ring, smiling to eachother with some savagery as the WTF and the Specters were watching along with Maya (@justasmolbard OC), Aly (@alypink OC) and Sigma (@mutantthedark OC)*

Alicia: Will you contain yourself?

Kanoa: Don't tell me you need me to contain myself *grins*

Alicia: Ha! You wish! *laughs before loosing her smile* I'll erase that grin off your face

Kanoa: We'll see that, Alicia. I'll go with everything

Alicia: I'd be offended if you didn't

Aly: This will go really wrong or really well *sighs*

Maya: I would go more for really wrong *smiling with nervousness*

Halia: I'm honestly more curious than worried, I mean! Two Marines, both Captains AND both hand-to-hand combat especialists, I wanna know who'll win

Aly: I guess you have a point

Aelan/Jackson: These idiots... *preparing the first aid kits*

*The two Marines start to fight, both of them using different techniques in just some minutes. First Kanoa starts with some MCMAP kicks that Alicia stopped with some diffiiculty, before answering it with some punches that Kanoa dodge as fast as he could. They both were grazed by the hits, but just some of it impacted them.*

Halia: I...am surprised *chuckling with a raised eyebrow*

Aly: Please don't break each other bones *murmuring* just don't break each other bones

Maya: Uh, Luke, do you think they'll finish this as a even match? *looks at the Lieutenant*

Luke: I doubt it, I don't think they're like that...

*In a second Kanoa managea to grab Alicia's arm during an attempted punch from behind, using her own impulse to throw her over his shoulder. Alicia fells hard into the canvas, causing a loud sound because of the hit, leaving her without aur for a second. Mean while Kanoa looks at Tiala and smiles while waving with a victory grin*

Kanoa: Don't you have the best big brother?

Tiala: Behind you *with a nervous smile*

Kanoa: Wha-? *gets tackled* ack!

Alicia: Never take off your eyes of your opponents, Noa *growls with a savage smile, keeping him on a lock*

Kanoa: Same for you, Licia! Be sure the enemy doesn't move! *kicks her on the side with all his strenght to take her off him*

*They stood up in a second looking at each other, waiting for just a movement or an opening. They didn't say anything else, and at that time Wraith walked inside, smiling when she noticed the fight. As she whistled a little melody, she went to a closet near the ring, taking out two wooden fighting sticks.*

Wraith: Hey you two! Grab it! *throws them the sticks*

Kanoa: Huh, this is well crafted *smiling as he grabs the stick*

Alicia: I bought them for my practices, great quality if I'm honest *getting in a kung fu fighting position* shall we?

Kanoa: This just got better *smiling*

Aly: Wraith, why...?

Wraith: *shrugs* It's a good show, and it was an opportunity

Aly: I guess it is, but it doesn't mean this is a good idea, we're talking about Alicia and Kanoa...

Maya: Now I'm almost sure they'll break something *sighs* should we stop them?

Halia: Well, we can try, but they don't seem to be keen on leaving the sparr like this

Luke: Nop, they won't *pinching his nose bridge* oficially we need to ban them from sparring with each other, they'll end up hospitalized one day

Jackson: If they don't kill each other, I'll kill Alicia *growls* how can someone be so...stupid with this kind of things?

Aelan: Tell me about it, I'll have a good talk with Kanoa once we end here *pissed off*

[indecisive-dizzy]

Hi im once again low on ideas so I’ve some incorrect quotes :3

Eddie: Can I ask you for a favor? 
Daisey: I would literally die for you, but continue. 
Eddie: We need to talk about you starting sentences that way.

Daisey, to the neighbors: If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands! 
*silence* 
Daisey: Damn, y’all depressed as fuck! 
Eddie: You didn’t clap either- 
Daisey: SHUT UP!

Eddie: I hate you sometimes. 
Daisey: Well according to this picture Julie drew of us holding hands that's not true. 
Eddie: Daisey, you drew that. 
Daisey: It doesn't matter.

Frank: Can you come out? 
Eddie: Yeah gimme a minute… 
Eddie: Frank, I’m gay. 
Frank: I know that. Come out to the car. 
Eddie: Okay. 
Eddie: Car, I’m gay.

Daisey: THEY COME SEASONALLY! 
Daisey: THEY COME EVERY YEAR! 
Flora: What- Eddie, are they drunk again- 
Daisey: IT DOESN’T MATTER WHERE I GO! 
Daisey: WHAT DOES IT MEAN? 
Eddie: What does WHAT mean? 
Howdy, who is the only one who knows what Daisey is talking about: I mean, when you found one in the bathroom- 
Flora: WHAT THE FUCK DID DAISEY FIND IN THE BATHROOM? 
Daisey: I’M TELLING YOU LIKE- LIKE IN THE SWIMMING POOL- 
Daisey: IN L.A. 
Daisey: EVERYWHERE I GO, THE DUCKS COME TO ME! 
Flora and Eddie: Oh, for fuCKS SAKE DAISEY-

Howdy: Where are you going? 
Daisey: To get MYSELF a gift cause somebody didn't get me one! 
Howdy: I told you I did! Its coming here on Friday! 
Lizzy, knowing full well that Howdy got Daisey an engagement ring: *eating popcorn*

Barnaby: Two years ago, I married my best friend. 
Barnaby: Daisey is still mad about it, but me and Howdy were drunk and thought it was funny.

Lizzy: Do you ever get pre-annoyed? Like you already know someone is going to piss you off? 
Howdy: What? No, I— 
Frank: *enters room* 
Lizzy: *jaw clenches*

Daisey, at Howdy: You're my significant other. 
Howdy: Yeah I am! 
Daisey, at Lizzy: You're my child. 
Lizzy: Yes boss. 
Daisey, at Honey: You're my bitch. 
Honey: Yeah I am- wait, what? 
Daisey, at Eddie: My bestie. 
Eddie: Naturally. 
Daisey, Barnaby: HA, GAY! 
Barnaby: Fuck you.

*The neighborhood’s cooking skills* 
Lizzy: *master chef* 
Eddie: *knows a few recipes* 
Howdy: *can follow instructions on a box* 
Honey: *made toast once* 
Barnaby: *banned from the kitchen*

Lizzy: *on the phone with Howdy* I can’t talk right now, I’m doing hot girl shit. 
Howdy: You’re pulling Oreos apart and saving off the frosting to make a mega Oreo, aren’t you?
Lizzy: Maybe.

Eddie: What do you want to be for Halloween? 
Howdy: Yours. 
Eddie: 
Eddie: …yeah, that would be pretty scary.

:3

I need you to know I read these before my doctor app and they fueled me <3

It was a Challenge not to laugh or even giggle but man I love every single one of these

the duck one got me good sjdhajdjja XD

[silentexplosive-diary]

2/4

I made something into another social event today, and stressed myself out.

My partner stayed over last night so we had all of today together. I thought, "Hm. We haven't been to a theater and seen a movie in a while, why don't we do that today?" So we went to go see the new Mean Girls.

So, just like everyone did with Barbie, I put on a little pink outfit and spent over an hour doing my makeup to make sure I looked perfect. As I usually do when it gets into my head that I need to make some sort of appearance for whatever reason.

And, as we were watching the movie, I just started seeing bits of myself in Regina and was getting uncomfortable. I was just talking to a coworker the other day about how if I wasn't in control of any situation my brain demands that I be in control of, I freak out. I gave her some examples like when I was a sophomore in high school taking a Latin class, I for some reason decided that I was just going to rule over the entire class. The teacher had a podium and a stool at the front of the room beside his desk, and I decided that that podium would be my desk. He would tell me to sit in a chair and I would just refuse until it wore him down enough and I got my way.

Looking back, I don't know why the hell I did that. The poor man was just trying to do his job and teach teenagers Latin. He didn't need to deal with me being dramatic and putting myself up on a pedestal publicly like that. But I did it anyway.

I also told her about how I got a certain series of books banned from my elementary school for somewhat starting a cult about the books. The teachers deemed it inappropriate behavior, I got in trouble, the books were banned from that school.

My coworker laughed, saying I've apparently always been a leader in life, and of course, I agree. I've done it with jobs, too. At no point do I start a job thinking, "I'm going to be the boss of these people someday." But that's usually what seems to happen. First job, I make manager in two years. Second job, manager in five months. Current job, not a manager yet but I am looked up to as if I were in a higher position than I am. I just somehow worm my way into that, and maybe that's just imposter syndrome happening, but it certainly feels like me just inserting myself into being in charge of some sort.

I used to even theorize and just figure I had a "dominant personality" or whatever the hell. Something about me makes me good at leading people and getting what I want in the end, for better or for worse.

And I was considering not even bringing this up, but it's in my brain. I was such a bitch in middle school as I was realizing this. I was on a fucking power trip. I'd been bullied a bit through elementary school, and about halfway through middle school, I was tired of it. I tried to make friends with this popular boy I had a crush on in sixth grade, and he was nice enough to me in class to make me think he could be my friend. Then he ignored me all throughout seventh grade when we didn't share any classes, so by eighth grade, I decided that I'd had enough of being walked on and ignored. His friends would always laugh at me that I was trying to talk to him and be friendly, and that pissed me off the most.

Eighth grade was also around the time I began modeling, so I was on a little power trip from that, admittedly. I was tall for my age and was used to the pageant scene for my area, and I knew a woman from church in the fashion industry that got me started on catwalks for local shows. I hated catwalks, by the way, and I worked with a designer that had such a shit personality that I quit after doing their show, only to start modeling again when I was 20, but I only did photo shoots then.

Anyway, I was cocky about being pretty enough to model at that young of an age and I was fed up with how I was being treated by my peers. I turned nasty to them. I completely changed my friend group to some semi-popular people, and I was just downright mean to anyone that wasn't in that group. It's honestly no wonder why they all left me when we started high school, and I had to start from scratch all over again.

I carried that poison into high school with me, too. I just remember thinking to myself that I had to walk in the hallways like I owned them, or I would never be taken seriously and I'd be back to being a weird kid and bullied. So, to prevent that, I became the bully for those years.

And I'd forgotten it all until I saw Regina George up on the screen acting almost exactly like how I acted back in those days. Snapping at whoever to do what you wanted, even if it was just to shut up. Giving out backhanded compliments with a smile. Teasing and poking and prodding people to their limits without any care in the world.

I sat in that theater beside my partner and I was terrified that they'd see the similarities between us. So terrified, they noticed my mood had changed after we left, so I just had to compose my perfected face for an hour and convince them I was fine.

Now they're driving back home and I'm up, still in my makeup, writing this.

I guess my fears in my head boil down to this: If I'm not perfect, then I am nothing, and if I don't step on others, they'll step on me.

Once again, it's tiring. It's exhausting. I hate seeing the worst in myself and everyone around me all the time. I'm really trying to change it.

[thecoolestcatintown]

Patience I

Toronto, Canada 

23/5/1995

Four days before the 1995 world Patience and solitaire championship.

Jean-Luc Simon sits at a coffee shop, fiddling with a pack of cigarettes.

“What are you writing down?” He questions “This is already being recorded”

“I'm taking notes, for myself”

He squints his eyes, “Oh”.

A waitress approaches the table to take our order, He silently shoes her away with a wave. He makes no eye contact with her, looking instead at the cassette recorder. Kyle presses it and signals me to start.

“Could you tell me how you started playing Patience?”

“I don't know ‘play Patience’,” he remarks “single-player-closed-pack-card games are my life”

Jean-Luc is a lanky white man, aged 27. He is dressed in a black winter coat and a gray wool sweater. His blond hair is cut into a shaggy mullet, it seems to be bleached.

“The first time I dipped my toes into the field was at age six or seven, At my grandmother's nursing home. I believe I played about 2-3 minutes of a simple game of ‘klondike’ before I lost interest, I suppose I never was one to sit still.”

He has said ‘I’ 7 times since the recording started.

“I started playing professionally 3 years ago” he pulls out a pair of cigarettes and offers me one, I decline.

“You won six medals at last year's championship, correct?”

“Seven actually.” he exhales “after the rejudging I placed second”

“My mistake”

“In the past year I have won two dozen categories in 13 matches. I've competed in 5 countries”

“Last month in Bangkok you competed in the Canfield category-”

“Competed and won” he corrects me again. He sounds irritated.

“Yes, and you set a record of 49 seconds. That is extremely impressive”

His expression softens slightly at my compliment.

“Thank you Andrea,” I don't like him using my first name. “Bangkok was exactly what I needed to show the global community that I am a force to be reckoned with”.

“Do you feel any animosity from your fellow competitors?”

“Some, I mostly feel apprehension. They underestimated me last year. Now they know that I'm the strongest competitor”

“You're the strongest competitor?” I question.

He chuckles condescendingly. “Of course I am. Do any of those old farts get times like mine? Even Williams is slower than me. The bitch is terrified of me, saw him shaking in his fancy little shoes”.

“You've met him?”

“Ran into him this morning” he laughed “you should have seen it, I thought he was going to piss himself. Little shit probably thought he got me kicked out the running”

“But there was debate on if you were going to be let in the competition, alot of people thought you should have been banned”

“On the basis of what? Williams falling down and blaming me for something I did not do? He couldn't deal with me almost beating him!” he said almost quieter than the rest of his words.

“You punched him in the face on live television, I can understand why people didn't want you back” I raise an eyebrow.

“Listen Andrea, can I call you Andy?”

“No”

“OK, Andrea, you seem like a smart person. And we both know that whatever happened, was taken wildly out of proportion.”

“So you're saying you didn't punch him?”

“That was barely a punch”

“Last year you said in a public statement that you had-” I check my notes ”-’a serious and violent outburst that you were deeply ashamed of’, do you not agree with that statement now?”. He breaks eye contact and starts fidgeting with the cigarette butt. He looks nervous and you can see the gears shifting in his mind.

“Could you stop writing?” He doesn't shout but his words are loud enough that the three of us are taken aback. I stop writing. “Listen that statement was written by my publicist, who I don't work with anymore. Those were the words of a coward, and I am not a coward” he puts his elbows on the table and leans in closer. He opens his mouth to say something but stays silent. Maybe trying to intimidate me, maybe trying to cover his ass. We are both quiet for a minute, I realize he is thinking of his next words carefully and predicting my response. ‘A good player is always two steps ahead’. His fingers are intertwined, holding his chin. He is a slim man but his hands are large. I suppose his hands are his most Important tool. He owes his fame (and infamy) to his hands and instincts. He has a good mind and is an extremely talented player. But he is by far known most for being one of the fastest Patience players on recent memory. Being able to finish a game in under a minute, whether it be closed or open.

“None of this matters” he finally says, “I will beat Williams or anyone else that I compete against”

“Thank you for sitting down with us Jean-Luc, and good luck”

“Were done?”

“Yes we're done” I say, I light a long cigarette. Kyle starts packing the recording equipment.

“No more questions?”

“yes”

“You're sure?”

“Positive”. 

We load our equipment onto the cart we got from the hotel. Me and Kyle walk toward the convention center, talking about the next interview, when Jean-luc catches up to us. “Come to my party tonight” he says out of breath “alot of the competitors are going to be there”. He is bent over his side, hands on his knees trying to catch his breath.

“Sure” I say, “we'll drop by”

“Oh yeah he can come too”

“Sure” he gives me his business card and shakes my hand.

-

Hi! this is the first chapter of this story. this is a very rough draft.

[songmingisthighs]

Sans

introduction pt. i | pt. ii

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ch. lxxv - switch

seonghwa × reader, ?? × reader

A N N O U N C E M E N T

you believed that childhood friends can stick together through thick and thin. you believed that nothing could get between you and your childhood friend, seonghwa. at least you used to think that before things changed.

When Mingi got out of his car and into the apartment lobby, the last thing he expected was to see Seonghwa on the front desk where the security guard was stationed. His eyebrows immediately furrowed and he slammed his car's door harder than he intended. A few weeks prior, he might've been okay with seeing them around. Heck, Mingi even held his emotions in whenever he saw Hongjoong at the office.

But here ? Where you lived ?

No way.

The sound of the car door slamming loudly caught Hongjoong's attention as he immediately snapped his head towards the source. When he saw Mingi stomping in their direction, he immediately tapped Seonghwa on his arm, letting him know.

When Seonghwa turned his head around, Mingi was already glowering closely at the both of them. "What are you two doing here?" he hissed, completely disregarding the fact that they're both are older than him.

Sensing that they shouldn't make him more pissed, Seonghwa decided to answer, "We're just following up on something," he said. At the answer, Mingi scoffed, "Making sure you didn't leave any tracks here?" he sneered.

Taking a deep breath, Seonghwa crossed arms in front of his chest, sighing at Mingi, "Look, I'm just trying to help (y/n) alright? I'm sure you are too," he said, trying to reason with the taller male. Mingi furrowed his eyebrows at this, "You? Helping (y/n)? Look hyung, I don't know how stupid you think I am because you've manipulated me once, but I've learnt my lesson, alright? So please just get the fuck out of here before I toss you out myself."

The security guard soon emerged from the back room, holding a cd in his hand. "Here you go sonny, the CCTV from ye- Oh, Mingi boy, I didn't realize that you'd be coming home today! How's Ms. (y/n)?" the old man asked with a soft smile. Mingi wanted to flip out when he realized that the security guard had been giving CCTV recordings to Seonghwa and Hongjoong. But he chose against it. Instead, he just acknowledged the man. "Yeah, Mr. Oh, just getting a few things for (y/n) before going back to the hospital. And these two are leaving WITHOUT the CCTV recording," he growled.

Having had enough of Mingi's hostility, Hongjoong stepped up to Mingi and glared at him, "Seriously man, what's your problem? We're trying to help (y/n) here!" he said, defending himself and Seonghwa. "My problem? Hyung, which part of you both being banned from getting near (y/n) did you not understand?" Mingi asked, exasperated. In a low voice, Seonghwa answered him, "Technically, we're nowhere near (y/n) right now," which Mingi still heard due to their close proximity.

Instinctively, Mingi grabbed Seonghwa by the shirt, "Are you seriously being sarcastic with me right now? I can call the police right now and tell them that you're invading our privacy," he growled. Seonghwa pushed his arm away from him, clearly becoming annoyed, "You do that Mingi, you call them and hinder my efforts in finding who has been poisoning (y/n) so she can be treated fairly. You go waste your time convincing them that whatever hunch you have is correct without proof. Go ahead and ruin the efforts Joong and I have put into this," he spat.

Feeling that Seonghwa's answer was ridiculous, Mingi laughed sarcastically, "Am I supposed to just believe all that? Like as if that automatically made you the good guy?" he asked the older guy.

"Boys," a voice called out but it went unheard.

Hongjoong stepped up again, "Mingi, seriously, why is it so hard to believe that Seonghwa is trying to do the right thing now?" he asked him.

"Boys," the voice called again.

Mingi turned his head to Hongjoong, raising an eyebrow. Genuinely, he couldn't understand how Hongjoong could ask him that. "Because whatever it is that he meant to do, it always seemed to hurt (y/n). So I'm sorry that I'm sceptical, but this piece of dried up bubblegum has been the single tiny prick in everyone's a-"

"That's the person who's been sending Ms. (y/n) food!" The security guard exclaimed.

Everyone snapped their heads towards the direction he pointed at.

Nearing the front door, there stood a person with a cap and a baggy jacket that looked eerily similar to the person Seonghwa and Hongjoong has been seeing in the CCTV tapes. Their eyes widened and at that moment, they weren't sure what to do first. It was beyond either Seonghwa or Hongjoong's imagination to be able to meet the person at that moment. Moreover, Mingi, who had honestly just wanted to get some things for you.

Realizing the stares of four people, the person halted their steps and looked up. They were wearing a mask. But judging from how their eyes widened and the plastic bag in their hand dropped, spilling food on the driveway, it was obvious that they knew what was going on. But Seonghwa could've sworn that the person's eyes looked very familiar to him.

Before any of them could react, the person had made a sharp 180 and bolted as fast as they could.

Not wasting any more time, Seonghwa followed suit. The sound of Hongjoong and Mingi calling him fell deaf to his ears. At that moment, he really just wanted to catch the person responsible. And that person is within eyesight.

Never had Seonghwa felt focus such as this. He couldn't feel his legs as they moved at a speed he didn't know he had, but he was gaining to the person. Reaching into the pocket of his coat, Seonghwa took out and tightly gripped your keychain that he never got to return to you. He could've sworn that somehow, with the keychain in his hand, he moved quicker than before.

They ran and ran. There were unexpected twists and turns and somehow they had reached a busier street. That moment, Seonghwa realized that the person was trying to lose him in the crowd. But Seonghwa was sure that the intense desperation of wanting to catch this person won't fail him. And true, despite the advantage they had, Seonghwa was faster and he immediately caught up.

Seonghwa grabbed onto the back of the person's jacket. The movement caused the person to jolt back and collided with Seonghwa. The both of them fell down in the middle of the busy street, people immediately parting like the red sea due to not wanting to fall as well.

The fall wasn't much but it definitely broke some of Seonghwa's focus. He groaned but willed his own body to stand up quickly.

When he recovered, he realized that the person was still groaning on the street. The cap they wore had fallen a couple of feet over, completely revealing their face.

Recognizing the person, Seonghwa's eyes widened in disbelief. He had once thought this person was capable of evil and betrayal, but this was beyond his imagination.

"I can't believe this... J- J-, my god, what the actual fuck?"

taglist :

@paralumanniluna @mirror-juliet @eternalssanshine @simplyxlea @rdiamond2727 @hakuna-matata-ya @peachy-maia @dear-dreamie @nycol-ie @seongsanniehwa @wasteitonserendipity @diorwoo @linhyyboo12 @joti17 @dreamlesswonder86 @teti-menchon0604 @theaufanartist @gayliljoong @se-onghwa @baguette-atiny @atinystray @th84u @camillelafaye @kpopnightingale @rubberduckieyourtheone @hannahdinse8 @peachyho @nymeriaaa @honeyhwaaa @bluepoison1975 @pinkskiesdream @skkrtnawrskkrt @captainjoongiekissme @iknowyouknowlino @ikonic-loser @escapereality-- @seojonneh @marsophilia @petitchou-t @polaristhingz @blaaiissee @malewife-supremacy @fujicpp @atinypurplerose @utopia1117 @jo-hwaberry @maddiebabyxoxo @wtfjongseong @fashi0nablee @rosefvkk

[bteezxyewriter12]

Epiphany

Pairing- Kihyun x Named Reader

Word count- 3.6k

Includes- Sex, oral, pussy eating, blow job, deepthroating, riding, missionary, squirting, multiple orgasms, fluff

Masterlists- check out for more fics

📝 Masterlists 📝Monsta X Masterlist

She opens her door and I look up at her

"Ki? Are you ok? Do you need something?", she asks worriedly

Yes I need something

I need her

I was so blind

My whole life I never noticed her

She's a friend I had since childhood

And she's always been there

She started working at Starship before me as a stylist for a female solo artist

She told me about the NO. MERCY show and urged me to try out for it

She believed I could make it

It's because of her I'm in Monsta X

Once the group was formed, she was moved to us, becoming a stylist for us

I started seeing her more often and we began to become closer, hang out more

I kissed her once

When we just started and were on a dating ban

It didn't go further than that one kiss but I did enjoy it a lot

As we became popular we got more busy and I slacked on our friendship

But she was always there

Comforting me when the pressure got too much and I need to talk to someone

When I needed to cry to someone

She always encouraged me, told me I could do anything

She let me sing to her so I could practice, watched me practice in her living room until I got the moves right

She was always at every performance because she dressed us

And after the performance, she always told me how proud she was of me, how amazing I am, how good my voice is

Always praises me

She was there when my first girlfriend left me for another idol

She held me while I cried, listened to me when I needed her to, comforted me

My next girlfriend was serious and I fell in love

And I dropped her

Stopped talking to her, through texts, phone and in person

My girlfriend would come to the performances so she wasn't able to compliment me when I got off stage

And honestly I forgot about her and ghosted her

For years

Until I found out my girlfriend cheated on me and I broke it off with her

That was last year

I called her at the time and she immediately picked up and talked to me for hours, listening to my stupid problems

She was still there, seeing me the next day, letting me in her apartment, comforting me again when she should have thrown me out, when she should have ignored me

And these past months, we've been busy again

I forgot about her again, neglected to call her

Just a few texts here and there

Now when I'm ushered off stage, I realize I don't even go near her anymore

It wasn't about until about two weeks ago that I opened my fucking eyes

I don't know what it was about that day

All I know is that she was talking to Jooheon and he made her laugh

I noticed how stunning her smile is, how cute her giggles were

I really looked at her and found her to be so fucking gorgeous

And all I wanted to do was kiss her

But I didn't

A week ago, I realized I love her when I saw her talking to another staff member

He was eyeing her, obviously trying to impress her

I don't know if she noticed but I did and I was so pissed off

It threw me off balance and I wasn't able to right myself the whole day

It took me a week to get the courage to finally decide to tell her how in love with her I am

It took the guys telling me to tell her, to get me here in front of her door

The guys noticed something was different about me, that I was off and more quiet than usual

I told them why

"Finally", Changkyun said

"What the hell does that mean?", I snapped

"It means you finally opened your dumbass eyes", Jooheon answered

"We were waiting to see when you'd notice how much she loves you", Hyungwon added

"Uh what?"

"She loves you", Minhyuk repeated, "It's so obvious"

I was shocked because I didn't think it was obvious

I had no clue

"It was?"

Changkyun nodded, "Yeah man, the way she looked at you all the time, it was clear as day"

"Her eyes would follow you around the room and she always smiled when you did something she thought was cute", Jooheon chimed in

I had no idea about any of this

And I wasn't sure about what they said

I decided I needed to talk to her

Asap

And now that she's in front of me, I can see it

I can see my whole life with her

Everything I ever wanted, a house, kids, love, happiness

It's with her

And I'm not going to blow it

"Ki?"

"I need you", I answer

She looks confused as I step inside her apartment, kick the door closed and pull her to me in a kiss that rocks my world

I never, in a million years, thought I would react this way from a kiss

My heart beats faster when her arms wrap around my neck

I slide my tongue in her mouth, deepening the kiss

She kisses me back, her fingers playing with the back of my hair

I slide my hands down to her thighs, picking her up, her legs wrapping around my waist

She's ridiculously light as I carry to her room

Moving onto her bed, I lay her down, moving on top of her

She looks up at me with her fucking deep beautiful brown eyes

Eyes I can drown in, stay in forever

And I plan to do just that

"I love you so fucking much", I breathe

Shock fills her eyes, her mouth slightly opening

"Please be mine", I ask, "I swear I'll love you forever"

She studies my face, her hand touching my cheek softly

"Yes", she says, lifting her head, pressing her lips to mine, "I love you Kihyun"

Pure joy fills my body

The guys were right

I was so stupid

I had my happiness right here in front of my eyes

I didn't see

I'll never be that blind again

She kisses me, pulling me down on top of her, her arms around my neck

I kiss her deeply, moving my tongue against hers, falling into her kiss

God I was missing out

I can't believe it's her the entire time

My baby

Her hands pull on my shirt and that's all it takes

Before I know it, our clothes are off and I'm between her legs, on top of her, still kissing her

Her soft skin moves against mine, feeling so good

Moving my kisses to her neck, I spread them everywhere

"Fuck, I love you", I tell her

I'm never going to stop saying it

I'll tell her everyday, every night

Always

"I love you", she whispers, holding me against her, her fingers running in the back of my hair

"I'm sorry baby", I whisper against her skin

"Sorry for what baby?", she asks

Lifting my head, I look into her eyes, softly touching her cheek

"I'm sorry for not noticing you sooner. I'm sorry for ignoring you when I had a girlfriend. I'm sorry for ignoring you when Monsta X is busy. I'm sorry for not being there when you needed me. I'm sorry that I was too stupid to see that you're my one", I apologize, "That you were right here all along and I was so blind and stupid. That you're my happiness"

She smiles and it's fucking stunning

"It doesn't matter Ki. What happened doesn't matter as long as you love me. As long as I have you"

"You do baby. I love you and I swear I'll make it up to you"

"You don't need to make up anything Ki. Just love me"

"I do Jo", I assure her

"Then that's all I need", she whispers

I crash my lips to hers, so fucking happy she's mine

All she wants is me and I'm so goddamn grateful

I know she said I don't have to but I will make it up to her

I'll do anything for her

Pressing more kisses to her neck, I move down her body, stopping at her perky books

Licking her nipple, I moan feeling it harden under my tongue

Wrapping my mouth around it, I suck softly, listening to her moans of pleasure

I spend some time playing with her nipple before moving to the other one, immediately sucking on it

I move my hand to her nipple I was just on, pinching and playing with it

After awhile, I move my kisses further down, kissing between her breasts, lick and sucking on the skin of her stomach

Her fingers play in my hair and it feels so good

I had no clue I liked having my hair played with

Moving lower, I open her legs, her pretty pussy so wet already

I can't hold back, laying my tongue on her, licking up her pussy slowly, tasting her juice, feeling her soft skin on my tongue

So good

"Fuck Kihyun", she calls and goddamn, hearing her say my name is music to my ears

I run my tongue up and down, in between her pretty lips and right into her hole

She clenches my tongue, sending shivers down my spine

God, I can't wait until she's clenching on my dick

First things first

I want to taste her cum

Sliding my tongue up, I roll over her throbbing clit, making her shudder and pull my hair

"Kihyun, baby"

Sucking her clit in my mouth, she moans loudly as I tug on her

I can't help but moan too, feeling her clit throb against my lips

God she's so good to suck on

Every part of her

Her nipples, her clit

I'm gonna want to suck on her everyday

Letting go of her clit, I slip my tongue down, right into her pussy

"Oh god", she cries, her body arching

Pulling out, I slide my tongue back up between her lips, ending with sucking on her clit

Then I do it again, going back down and inside her

Over and over, her clenching getting faster

The next slip of my tongue inside her, she screams my name, falling over the edge

Shoving my tongue as far as I can, she cums all over it, tasting so fucking sweet

Oh yeah, I'm definitely eating her out every day

When she finishes, I pull my tongue out then kiss her swollen pussy lips

As I sit up, she does too, gently pushing me down on my back

She presses her lips to my chest, kissing me softly, her lips feeling so fucking pleasurable on my skin

Her tongue licks down my body to my stomach, where she presses kisses to my abs

I watch her suck on my skin, licking the spots she sucks but never leaving a mark

I want her too so badly

I want her to mark me as hers

She lets go the skin she's sucking but I plead, "Please baby. Don't stop"

"It'll leave a mark Ki"

I nod, "That's what I want"

She raises an eyebrow, "Are you sure?"

I nod

I'm fucking sure

Her mouth goes back to the spot she was on before, sucking my skin back into her mouth

I moan from the pleasure, her hand moving down, wrapping around my hard dick

She licks the spot she was sucking on, dark purple on my skin

Fuck I love it

"More", I ask

I want so much more

As her mouth moves from place to place on my abs, her hand moves up and down my length, filling me with more pleasure

She pleasures me at a good pace, not too hard, not too soft

Not enough to make me cum but enough to keep me hard

She leaves so many scattered marks on my skin, some deep dark purple, other light

All so pretty

I close my eyes, feeling her hand moving on me

Suddenly the pleasure intensifies so much that I open my eyes to find my head in her mouth, sucking in time to her hand movements

It's a sight I never thought I'd see

Slowly she removes her hand as she takes me deeper into her mouth, sucking while she goes

"Oh my god", I moan, moving my hand in her hair, my fingers tangling in the strands

It feels so fucking good, too fucking good

Her tongue runs along my shaft as she bobs her head, taking more and more of me in with every move down my cock

Until I'm all in her mouth and my head is in her tight throat

She swallows, pleasure flaring and making my body tremble

Oh god, this is amazing

Her mouth moves, sucking rapidly and going at it like she's never going to suck my dick again

I watch her sucking hard, amazed that my whole length is in her mouth

In her throat

And she's not choking

How often has she deepthroated someone that it doesn't hurt her?

I don't want to think about that because it's just going to get me upset

I should of been with her but I was too stupid

Never again

The more she sucks, the closer she brings me but I don't want to cum

I don't know if I can get hard again after and I'm not risking it

I need to be inside her, feel her

I want it so bad

"Baby, sss...stop", I stammer, "I'm gonna cum. I don't want to"

Her eyes move to mine, a question in them

"I want to be inside you"

She nods, getting my dick out of her mouth, then immediately climbing on me

She takes my cock, holding it under her

She moves down, my head inside her and she continues to sink down my length

I grab her sheets hard, moaning so loudly as I feel her tight cunt stretching around me, hugging me tightly, opening only enough for me to pass through

I've never had this much pleasure just from going in a pussy before

But hers, fuck, envelopes me perfectly and is so wet, I was able to get in easily

"Oh my god, Kihyun", she moans, sitting on me, my whole length buried inside her

"Ok baby?", I ask

She nods, "Yes Ki. It's just....you feel so good. So fucking good"

"Yea?", I ask shyly, happy she likes how I feel

She feels amazing, perfect

She nods, "Yeah Ki. Fuck, no one's fit inside me as good as you"

Funny, I feel exactly that same way

"You're big, thick but still fit inside. Your head against my spot, fuck Kihyun you're perfect"

"You're perfect baby", I say softly, "Wrapped around me so well, throbbing so pleasurably. Like I was made to be in you"

She nods, "You are baby. You're mine"

"Always baby. I want to be yours forever", I confess, wanting that so much

"You are Ki. I'm never letting you go"

"And I swear I'll never let you go"

She smiles so beautifully, leaning down, kissing me

Stars blast in my vision, feeling her soft plump lips against mine

Pulling away, she sits up and slowly starts to bounce on me

And fucking bliss hits me so hard

Her speed increases with each bounce, rocking on my cock when I go back inside

"Oh fuck Kihyun", she moans, pleasure on her face

My mouth drops, watching her move, watching how unbelievably sexy she is

Her skin shivering, her boobs jiggling

Fucking stunning

"God baby, you're so fucking gorgeous", I whisper, "So fucking good"

"Wanna be good for you", she moans, riding me harder

"You are jagi", I tell her

She's too good for me

I'm not good enough for her

Not with the way I treated her, the way I ignored her

I need to be good for her, not the other way around

I grip her hips, softly moving my hands along her skin, feeling it tremble under my fingers

I love it

"Kihyun. Fuck. I can't-", she cries

"Cum for me. Please baby, cum on me", I plead

God I want to feel it so badly

"Kihyun!", she moans, coming and holy shit she's stunning

He head tilting back, soft moans and my name coming from her mouth as her cunt pulses hard and fast around my cock

I feel my dick get soaked, my eyes moving down, watching her hole clench around my cock

God it's so pretty

When she finishes, she starts moving, sliding up and down my length

I moan seeing her cream cover my cock completely, more and more leaking from her as she moves up and down

I can't take my eyes away from that sight

I'm mesmerized

I watch her cunt swallow my cock over and over, taking all of me in her small tight hole

Moving my hands down, I spread her swollen lips open to get a better view of her slit stretch and taking me in

She leans back, her hands on my thighs, riding me harder, slamming her pussy down on me and fucking her spot on my head

Her clit throbs so prettily and I move my hand so my thumb is rubbing it

"Oh god yes baby", she cries, her cunt leaking more juice all over me

"Keep going baby", I choke out feeling her cunt get jnooasibi tight, "Don't stop. Want you to cum"

She nods, practically jumping on my cock with how wildly she's riding me, the pleasure incredible

Her fingers dig into my thighs, her body soaked with sweat, beads of it running down between her bouncing boobs

"Ki...I...so close", she moans

I know, I can feel her

I just need to push her over the edge

When she comes down, I thrust up, smashing her spot and she screams loudly

I keep fucking up into her with every bounce, my thumb rubbing her clit furiously

"Please cum for me baby. Please"

"Kihyun!", she screams, flooding my cock

Everything gets so wet and I move my eyes to her hole watching her squirt around me

She's fucking gushing, so much pouring from her

I'm amazed she can squirt so much

"Fuck baby, look at you, squirting all over me"

"I...I am?"

"Yes baby. So much. So pretty"

"Fuck Kihyun"

When she finishes, I sit up, flipping us over and thrusting into her

Now I want to fuck her

"Kihyun!", she cries

"Yeah baby, I'm gonna fuck you so good", I tell her, "My princess. My baby. My love"

She moans, her arms around my neck, kissing me hard as I hike one of her legs higher up my body

I move my hand to her other leg, spreading that leg open more, giving me more room to slam into her pussy

"Fuck Ki!", she cries, breaking the kiss, "Don't stop"

"I won't baby. Not until you fall apart on my cock"

Pounding inside her, I impale her on my length over and over, pushing her tight hole wide open

And she takes me perfectly, screaming for me to keep going

Burying my cock in, I slam her spot and she screams, coming on me, her cunt holding my shaft in a vice grip

Keeping my whole cock inside her, I let her cum on me, the pleasure from her orgasm, mind blowing

"Joanne fuck!", I cry, shooting cum deep inside her as I cum, her hole throbbing hard, milking my cock for all my cum

Oh my god, this is the best orgasm I ever had

So fucking good

When we finish, I pull out, laying next to her, gasping for breath

I glance over at her, her eyes closed, her chest heaving as she breathes

Moving my hand down, I take hers, lacing our fingers together

Her eyes open as she looks at me, a huge beautiful smile on her face

"I love you", I tell her

"I love you", she answers, making me smile

I love hearing her say that

It'll never get old

Tugging on her hand, I pull her to me, wrapping her in my arms, holding her tightly

She lays her head on my shoulder, her face in my neck and it's perfect

We fit together perfectly, laying in comfortable silence, just being together

She squeezes me tightly as I play with her hair

"Is this real?", she asks softly

"Very real baby. You're mine and I love you"

She lets out a soft sigh, "You don't know how much I always wanted to hear you say that"

"I'm sorry baby. I wasn't paying attention and I was dumb. But I'm it anymore. I know I'm lucky to have you, lucky you love me after everything I did. And I swear I'm going to show you how much I love you every single day. I promise"

"As long as we're together I'm happy", she says

"Then we'll both be happy all the time"

"Good", she smiles, kissing my cheek then snuggling into me more, "Nap time Ki"

I laugh, "Nap?"

"Yup. Sleep then we can eat, then I'm gonna ride you again. Then sex in the shower and more after. I just want to be with you and now that you're mine, I can be"

"Oh yeah, every night baby. I'll be with you every night. I promise"

"Good. Now go to sleep", she instructs, closing her eyes, laying in my arms

"Yes ma'am", I laugh, kissing her forehead, "I love you"

"I love you", she answers, making me so happy

Cuddling her, I continue to play with her hair, holding her tight as I close my eyes

[inkandpen22]

Dazed and Confused ( S1: 3/?)

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Female!Reader

Warnings: mild language and violence 

Word Count: 3.1k

Part Summary: At Tina’s party, Y/N wants to forget all of her problems. Things take a turn when Billy makes a move on her, angering Steve

Masterlist

Arriving at Tina’s after dropping Dustin at Mike’s, I am in much need of some good old spiked punch. I yank down my gray oversized sweatshirt some more so that it hangs low off my shoulder. As I cross the threshold into the house, the heat of the crowded living room slaps me in the face. Directly to my left, the kitchen AKA the alcohol hub. I slip between bodies and end up at the counter covered with semi-empty bottles and old plastic cups. Most importantly, a bowl of maroon punch sits in the corner. I grab a cup and make my way over. A boy stands in front of it but I reach around him and scoop up some of the mystery substance.

“What’s in this?” I hear a voice holler behind me.

I turn around to answer but freeze when I realize it’s Nancy. She stares at me equally stunned. My face falls, this is awkward. Seriously universe? I couldn’t have at least one drink before bumping into her?

Steve appears behind her looking slick as ever in his black sunglasses and matching blazer.

“Everclear is my guess,” I answer, acting civil.

She nods timidly, “thanks…”

I step out of her way so she can get some of her own. Steve’s head travels up and down slowly with a blank expression. I can’t see his eyes but I assume he’s studying my costume. A gray oversized sweatshirt that hangs off the shoulder, red heels, matching earrings, and some shorts, though they’re unnoticeable. I can feel him starring me down through those stupid Ray-Bans. Silently, I beg for him to not bring up our encounter in the parking lot. All I wish for tonight is to drown out reality and try to forget. He’s a human ticking time bomb. The tension between us could be cut with a knife.

“Are you finally going to tell me what you are?” Nancy jumps in, forcing me to break my staring contest with her boyfriend.

I open my mouth to answer but Steve beats him to it.

“Flashdance,” he answers for me. “It’s one of her favorites.”

He acts distant, unattached, distracted by the party but I see right through it. There’s something he’s not saying. He says things like this as if it’s common knowledge. A random person wouldn’t describe my eyes as Y/E/C but gray depending on the lighting. One minute, he calls my eyes beautiful and the next he’s starring me down like a disapproving parent. The hell Harrington?!

Nancy gushes, apparently she and I are okay all of a sudden, despite early today with the whole Barb thing. Plus, I think she’s already been drinking for awhile so buzzed Nancy is fun Nancy.

“That’s so cute! You look hot!” She pulls me into a hug.

Over her shoulder, I glimpse up at Steve as he lifts his glasses to rest of his head. His brown eyes threaten to expose my upset from earlier. I get that he’s pissed about my neglect for my feelings. He wants to talk about what was wrong but right now we’re at a party and parties aren’t meant for depressing conversations.

“Let’s go dance!” Nancy suggests, already tugging me into the living room.

Steve calls after her but she ignores him. He follows behind us through the crowd with a groan. In the center of the living room, Nancy stops and turns to me with a bright grin. She cheers as she tosses her head back.

“Woohoo!” She laughs.

This is what I wanted, normalcy. We’re surrounded by our friends, drinking, dancing, being stupid! We did this before everything so why can’t we do it now? Perhaps after tonight, everything will fall back into place.

_______________________________________

On my third game of flip-cup, I’m beyond buzzed. In fact, when I walk I float. I’m on cloud nine. Here, this carefree and lively state is exactly where I wanted to be. Naturally, I’m competitive and amazing at drinking games so I finish my third game with yet another win. I cheer as Tommy from algebra hands me a cup of who knows what as my reward.

“Hey there beautiful,” a husky voice greets from behind me.

I spin around and kind of become dizzy from the action but catch myself.

It’s Billy.

“Hey hottie,” I smirk.

He snickers and closes the space between us to whisper in my ear. “How about you and I go somewhere a little more private?”

That’s a nice thought. He is cute. His ass could have its own zip code. Plus, he has no shirt on under that leather jacket, hello washboard like abs. His California tanned skin glistens under a thin layer of sweat. Damn, he’s a human Ken doll.

He’s no Steve though. Wait… what? I don’t think of Steve like that. Why would I think that? Um, yeah, that’s a no! Then again, Steve is always there for me. Sometimes it can be annoying how he’s always there. It means he cares but I don’t want to dump all of my drama on him. Then, he gets upset when I don’t open up. I hate it when I hurt him. I love him so much that when he’s in pain so am I.

“Okay,” I blurt out without truly thinking.

“Cool,” I hear him whisper as he takes my hand and starts pulling me toward the stairs across the room.

Wait, what? What am I doing? This isn’t me. I don’t like Billy. He treats Steve like shit. If anything I should kick his pretty ass. Though if I tried he’d probably murder me.

I glance down at his hand engulfing mine. It’s all rough and twice the size of my own. If we make it upstairs, it’ll be just him and I. I’ll be defenseless. I may be drunk but I’m not oblivious. My intuition is still working and it’s screaming for me to pull my shit together.

“Hey Billy? I don’t think…” I press my heels into the floor, slowing him down just as we reach the bottom of the stairs.

Aggressively, he whips around and purposefully towers over me to act intimidating. “What? Now, you’re saying no? Are you messing me? Playing with me!” He accuses.

I shake my head dramatically, “no! No, that’s not what-”

“Oh, so you still want to do this,” he presses.

Too impatient for an answer, he continues up the stairs. The grip he has on me has shifted up to my wrist. I attempt to tug myself free but fear dislocating it, his strength is too great. I stumble up the stairs behind me and I startle to feel dizzy. I think it’s safe to say I’ve had too much.

“No,” I whine, “I don’t want to! Stop! Please! I don’t want to! No!”

“Hey!” A booming voice echoes from the bottom of the stairs.

Rapid footsteps approach from behind me and a rush of relief consumes me when Steve appears beside me. He places a protective hand on my back.

“What the hell is going here?” He directs at Billy, taking note of his fist wrapped around my wrist.

“Nothing that concerns you, Harrington. Y/N and I were just heading upstairs.” He jolts his hand forward, causing me to traveling with it.

Steve instantly pries Billy’s hand from my body. Then, shoves him in the back, flying him forward to land with his ass on the stairs. “Don’t you ever touch her again! You hear me?!” He sneers. His face turns this deep red as he pants angrily.

The two start bickering but I can’t keep up. I see three Steves and a couple Billys shouting in each other’s faces. I lean against the railing unsteadily and slide down to sit on the steps. My eyes suddenly feel very heavy.

“I’m going to go to bed now,” I announce to no one in particular.

I decide to get some rest and shut my eyes. It’s okay, Steve’s here. He’ll protect me.

I’m not sure how much time has past when I hear Tommy and some of the other basketball boys come to break up the fight.

“Come on Y/N,” I hear Steve whisper to me, “let’s get you home.”

Feeling as light as a feather, I’m picked up like a sleepy child off the ground. For a moment, I fall asleep again. I rest my head on his chest and ponder the rare opportunity to sleep without being afraid of being eaten by a monster.

“Y/N?” I hear someone repeatedly call my name. “Y/N, wake up!”

I ease open my eyes and at first my vision is blurry but then they eventually adjust. Steve glances down at me as he we cross the threshold hold to the front yard.

“You smell like sunshine and all things exquisite,” I mumble to myself, adjusting myself in his arms to curl closer to his warmth.

“Even when hammered you still manage to be a walking thesaurus,” he teases.

Opps, he heard me. Oh well, I wasn’t lying. He smells like vanilla, the ocean, sugar, spice, and everything nice.

Goosebumps course over my skin as a brisk October breeze hits me. I shiver slightly and Steve holds me closer.

“We’re almost to my car. I’ll turn on the heat high. You’re okay,” he promises calmly.

Playing the hero, Steve places me into the passenger seat gently and straps me in. I toss my head to the side and rest my eyes again. He shuts the door for me before jogging to the driver’s side. The car drowns out the sound of chaos coming from the party and creates a sense of security. Steve slides behind the wheel and for some reason I choose now to act reasonable.

“Have you been drinking? If so, you shouldn’t drive,” I state like a health textbook.

He chuckles, popping in the keys. “I’m sober. Promise.”

“That’s nice. Good to know,” I yawn.

The last thing I can remember of the ride home is Steve turning on the car.

______________________________________

I wake up silently as Steve pulls up in front of my house. He’s unaware of my stare as he finishes parking and turning off the car.

“Hazel,” I tell him, announcing my woken state.

He looks to me with scrunched eyebrows, all confused. It’s cute when he does that. He’s cute. Geez, what the heck am I saying? He’s dating my best friend! Steve is Steve and Katherine, we don’t mix, at least that way.

“What?” He questions, turning to face me.

“Your eyes… they’re hazel…” I repeat softly with a yawn. “But, it really depends on the lighting.”

He snickers, and astonished expression blesses his features. The subtle blush forming on his cheeks makes me smile to see him all bashful because of my comment. He has no idea how gorgeous we truly is, inside and out. He glances down at his lap, at his hands fidgeting with a button on his jacket, then back up at me with hooded eyes.

“See, right now!” I point out, “they’re a dark brown like a burnt caramel, basically black. When you’re really focused on a task or upset about something, they go dark. Then, when you’re really happy or excited, they turn to a light hazel… like seaglass. It’s how I can tell if something’s bothering you. You don’t even have to tell me half the time. All I have to do is look into your eyes and I know,” I state a matter-of-factly with a light snicker.

I shift you see him directly and tuck a few strands of my hair away from my face. He watches my every move patiently, eagerly, for me to say something more, anything. I can’t speak for him but my heart won’t stop racing. Is it possible to have stage fright in a conversation? I feel like a mannequin, on display. Nervously, I twirl my hair at the ends and find myself unable to meet his gaze anymore.

“Your pupils are rarely small,” I add quietly. “They’re usually really big and take up most of your eye giving off the illusion they’re black. One thing that never changes is…”  I make a circle with my finger in front of my eye to demonstrate, “is the gold rim around each of them.” I lower my hand into my lap and play with the end of my sweatshirt. “That’s my favorite part… ” I confess timidly.

I wouldn’t be saying these things if I were sober. I wish he would say something, anything. He must think I’m crazy. He finds me with Billy heading up stairs. I can only imagine what he must think of me now. Embarrassed beyond belief and sobering up, I excuse myself.

“Thanks for the ride,” I say as I unbuckle myself. “See you Monday!”

Swiftly, I climb out of the car. As I walk toward my front door, I curse myself for acting so stupid! Geez, what was I thinking? ‘The gold rim around each of them, that’s my favorite part!’ What kind of mushy, guhsy, marshmallow fluff is that? Ew! If he never spoke to me again I would judge that as completely reasonable! He has a girlfriend! He’s taken! Completely off limits! Why did I spew out this creepy nonsense to him like a total idiot? I’m not some lovesick teenage girl! I’m going to go to my room, put in some Guns N’ Roses, and just scream into my pillow all weekend! It sounds like an excellent plan to me because I just ruined my friendship with Steve forever! Add Nancy to that list because once he fills her in on what I said I’ll lose both of them!

“Y/N!” He calls after me.

I ignore it as I march faster toward the door. He’s only going to call me crazy because I was acting crazy!

“Y/N, wait!” He repeats as I hear him shut the car door and run toward me.

“Goodnight, Steve!” I urge him away without turning around.

His footsteps speed up until they come to a halt directly behind me. I reach for the door handle, my freedom. Desperately, he grips my forearm and steps in front of me, blocking the front door.

“Look, could you just slow down for a sec?” He yells at me as he pants to catch his breath.

“No! I can’t slow down! I just want to go inside, get in my pajamas, and forget tonight ever happened! Alright? Now, excuse me,” I gesture for him to get out of the way.

Reluctantly, paired with an overly dramatic eye roll, he steps aside. Despite wanting his to leave, I thank him quietly for cracking open the front door slowly, making sure not to wake anyone.

“Nance and I broke up…” Steve drops on me.

My heart leaps and I stop dead in my tracks. Unsure of what to do or say, I remain still in the doorway and wait for him to say more.

“She never loved me,” he explains with a heartbroken tone. “At least… I don’t think she did…”

Shit. Please don’t tell me that, Harrington. It only makes me want you more. He’s always so close but too far out of reach. I care about him more than anything but he’ll never mine. I’m just the friend.

I spin on my heels and offer him a sympathetic smile, “would you like to come in?”

He nods, clearly miserable. I step aside, allowing him in. After shutting the door behind us, I warn him to be quiet so we don’t wake my parents. He nods slowly and slips his hand into mine. Never breaking eye contact with me, he leads the way through the moonlit house toward my room. His platonic touch is so blissful, I can only imagine what it feels like otherwise.

_________________________________

Steve and I sit on my bed in our usual positions with my record player going quietly. He lounges like a patient in therapy and me, acting as his therapist, criss-cross beside him. He explains everything. He describes how drunk Nancy got and how he followed her to the bathroom. It was there they got into a fight. She admitted feeling guilty for the loss of Barb. Then, she called all of it bullshit. Us acting like carefree teenagers, never telling Barb’s parents the truth, her love for Steve, all of it is bullshit. He asked Jonathan to take her home and that’s when he stumbled upon me and Billy.

Watching Steve relive it all and hearing the pain in his voice breaks my heart. How could Nance do this to him? I get that she’s going through something, we all are. I’m by no means normal. I’m hiding everything for Pete’s sake! I haven’t been myself for over a year. Steve was just now becoming truly happy again! He was putting on a brave face for Nancy for so long! Now, she crushed it. She crushed him.

I reach and place my hand over his as they rest intertwined on his stomach. “I’m sorry. Truly, I am.”

“I really loved her. At least, I think I did. I don’t know anymore. I thought she loved me too.”

“I did too,” I tell him honestly.

He glances away from the ceiling down to me, “what can I do?”

I wish I knew the answer. I wish there was a way I could take away his pain. Yet, I have nothing. I shrug, “I’m not entirely sure. I think you should at least talk to her.

Tomorrow, of course, when she’s sobered up. Perhaps, she was just drunk and didn’t mean what she said. She wasn’t in the proper mindset.”

“So I shouldn’t take what she said to heart?”

“Well, there’s also the argument that drunk words are sober thoughts.”

“Does the same go for you?” He snickers.

I laugh, “sometimes.”

“So you don’t like the gold in my eyes? I thought it was your favorite part?” He smirks, turning to lay on his side and face me. My hand would’ve fallen off his hadn’t he flipped his over to catch it.

Ugh, he’s such a sneaky jerk! His cheeky smirk only grows with my silence. Warmth rushes to my cheeks as I bashfully hide my face.

“Yeah… about that…” I laugh nervously, “let’s just pretend I didn’t say anything.”

“Should I forget that you also said I smell like sunshine and everything exquisite?” He adds to the torment.

I groan, tossing my head back. This must count as torture. “Preferably, yes,” I request shortly.

We share a laugh at my annoyed reaction. He’s impossible! Even he should be mopping he still manages to tease me!

A comfortable silence fills the air and I stare down at the pillow in my lap as I play with the lettering on it.

________________________________

Masterlist

[bluehourbucky]

Comfort Crowd

college!bucky x reader

summary: exams don't go well bucky's there to comfort you

tw: f bomb, self doubt, college!bucky? , exam talk, mentions of s*x and bj

a/n: so this is my first time writting and this is for @babyboibucky 's 3k writting challenge I really just wanted to participate they are my fav author and I really just enjoy their work so I wanted to give it a try . This is college!bucky from PROJECT V , currently my fav Bucky but Bee still hasn't posted surfer!bucky so we'll see. Also I am sorry I do not know how to put keep reading thing :(

@babyboibuckywrites this is bee's writting blog where you can find all her writting and all 3k entries 🥰

--------

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

You were looking at the screen of your laptop, results of your exams staring at you, mocking you.

Failed. Failed. Passed 95%. Failed.

This is not what you wanted to see. No matter how good one of your exams went those failed exams had a harder impact. You felt like you did enough, apparently that was not the case.

Bucky and you had been studying for exams together, yes maybe you did have some sexy times but still you studied.

Your phone kept going off and you assumed it was Bucky, you were right.

Bucky: *insert picture*

Bucky: aced those fucking exams

Bucky: let's have a celebration fuck

Bucky: *insert picture* we're waiting ;)

Sam: STOP SENDING DICK PICS THIS A GC I DO NOT WANT TO SEE UR DICK

Steve: ISTG BUCKY I WILL BLOCK YOU

Looking at Steve and Sam's messages made you laugh because this isn't the first time Bucky sent a dick pic into the gc on accident thinking it was his and yours chat.

Bucky being impatient dumbass that he is he decided to call you since you weren't replying. You didn't really want to answer but you knew he would assume something was wrong.

"Babyyyy!!!! Why aren't you replying?? I even blessed you with a beautiful picture of my dick." Bucky whined over the phone like a child which made you snort and roll your eyes.

"I'll come over or you come here cus' Steven here would hate that." You heard Steve say something along the lines "I'll kill you or myself If I catch you fucking again!" Bucky probably fliped him off as he always does.

"Sorry It's shark week I'm not feeling well you know how I get." That was bs you finished your period a week ago but that was the only excuse you could think of.

After twenty minutes of convincing Bucky you don't want him to come he ended the call but not before telling you that Steve and him are going for drinks to celebrate and if you feel better to come.

You were suddenly feeling very jealous but at the same time angry that Bucky's results were much better than yours. It wasn't fair or nice yet that's how you felt along with selfpity.

Every time you failed an exam you couldn't help but fall into the hole of self doubt-were you smart enough to finish college- was everything you ever achived just pure luck- and similar things to those were always around. Usually Bucky would reassure you that that that wasn't true but you felt like it would be selfish of you to tell him while he was so happy about doing so well.

Not wanting to sulk in your place you packed up and went to your favorite place to sulk.

~~~~

"For fucks sake!"

"Hey Sam!!" you greeted a very annoyed Sam, cheerfully.

"What now? Did you have another fight with Bucky because if you did I'd like you to leave." Sam was still pissed about last time after you and Bucky fucked in his room, he banned you both from visiting his place.

"No, just didn't wanna be alone." he was visibly confused by your statement but let you in nontheless. You could tell he had questions, he did choose not to ask more. That's exactly why you came to Sam's he doesn't ask questions just let's you be until you're ready to talk.

You made yourself comfortable, took some of Sam's food and went to his bedroom. When you are in a shitty mood you just close off and eat.

Sam didn't mind he could tell something was wrong, though seeing you cleared his fridge he wasn't very happy.

"Hey, you ate all my food!"

You lifted your head from the pillow and looked at him sadly. It was very obvious you were crying.

"Oh." Sam approached you and sat down on the bed near your legs. That only made more tears fall.

"Sweetheart." you hiccuped and wiped your tears.

"Sorry."

He only shook his head, giving you a hug rubbing your back letting you cry. Sam also without you knowing texted Bucky to tell him where you are.

~~~

You don't know how much you've been crying but what made you jump was a loud bang of door closing.

One moment you were lying in bed and in the next one you were in Bucky's lap? When did he even come how did he know you were. When you tried to move your head from his chest he just pushed it back.

"Shh.. There,there, daddys here no need for tears."

"THAT WAS ONE TIME BUCKY ONE TIME!!!!!" You yelled into his chest and hit him. However it did make you laugh which was probably the point.

"So tell daddy what's wrong." Sam made gagging noises at Bucky's comment, Steve just let out a sigh and pulled Sam out of the room.

Being in Buckys arms was so comforting, he also pushed the hair out of your face looking at you for an explanation. When you didn't Bucky started giving you wet rasberries over your face as well as tickles to your stomach. You couldn't help but giggle and push his head away.

"OKAY OKAY I'LL TALK." He stopped and pulled you back into his lap, leaving soft kisses on your neck

"So I failed three exams out of four so I just felt sad but I didn't want to bother you with that. It wouldn't be fair because you did really well and and " you took a deep breath but before you could say more Bucky stopped you.

"Baby, you know you can always talk to me no matter what. Especally for these things. Plus these exams prove nothing and they don't determine if you'll be successful or not. Besides if anything should make you feel dumb is when we do dumb shit together. Like that time we ripped out nipple peircings as soon as we got them."

That made you chuckle and he did have a point.

"Failing one or two or even five exams doesn't make you dumb you can always pass them some other time anyways. Now that we're done with that time for me to have a treat." Bucky said and pulled your sweatpants down making you gasp. Just as he was about to slip off your panties a very very angry Sam was stomping his way to you.

"NO ABSOLUTLEY NOT I MADE THIS MISTAKE ONCE NOT DOING IT AGAIN!!! BUCKY KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS FOR ONCE !!! GET OUT GET OUT NO SEX HERE NO ANYTHING DIRTY." Sam threw you and Bucky out of the room and locked it.

"What's your problem I was about to have some pussy just because you don't does not mean you have to get jealous!" Your favorite dumbass replied.

That of course set off a small friendly disagreement between the two.

"Okay let's go I'm horny." Bucky threw you over his shoulder like in the movies however it did not go well. He threw you a bit too hard so you slipped over and in the attempt to catch yourself you heard your wrist snap.

"Fuck are you okay?!" Sam, Steve and Bucky asked in unison.

"Uhm yes? Though I think my wrist is broken."

"Let's go. I'm driving you to the ER" Steve said shaking his head taking the keys thinking :What did I do to deserve this punishment"

"Oh no it's your right arm no handjobs for at least 3 weeks. Nevermind we'll train your left arm don't worry." Bucky said kissing your left wrist.

"BUCKYY!!!!"

~THE END~

[spencers-renaissance]

Shovel Talk

Summary: Hotch and Emily find out about Derek's relationship with Spencer and decide it's time for a chat.

Tags: fluff, humour, est. rel., protective!derek, emily, and hotch, relationship reveal, mentions of past hurt spencer

Pairing: Derek Morgan x Spencer Reid

Word Count: 1.5k

Masterlist // Read on AO3

Inspired by this post by @penemily that I couldn't stop thinking about. Honestly I love this fic so much lol.

Derek isn’t quite sure how he’s found himself in a vacant office after hours, crowded into an office chair with broken wheels as the two most intimidating FBI agents he knows stand over him.

“Either of you want to tell me what the hell’s going on?” Derek asks, bewildered by how quickly his evening had changed. One minute he’s sneaking looks at Spencer over his computer screen, and the next he’s hauled off to a private room like some sort of hostage.

He’s not scared, but he’s definitely a little pissed off. It’s nearing 10pm and all he wants to do is go home with Spencer, curl up on the sofa and eat take-out in front of the TV as they celebrate closing a case in their own way. He used to celebrate by going out for a drink, falling into bed with a stranger if the opportunity arose, but a quiet evening on the sofa with his boy in his arms is surprisingly satisfying these days.

Hotch raises an eyebrow. “We know,” he says simply, something fierce behind his words.

Derek’s heart skips a beat. It’s not hard to figure out what it is he’s talking about. He and Spencer had started dating a couple of months ago but had decided to keep it under wraps for now; something so young and beautiful was too precious to expose to all the inevitable eventual complications just yet. They’re so ridiculously smitten, though, that he’s not exactly surprised two profilers paying close attention had figured it out.

Ignoring the quietly humming nerves starting up in his stomach, he mirrors Hotch’s raised eyebrow, trying not to look as affected as he feels. “So… what? You wait for Spencer to go to the bathroom to lure me to an empty office to beat me up?”

“Maybe,” Emily replies, voice dry.

Behind the nerves and the posturing, Derek can’t feel a small twinge of hurt. “Look, guys, we expected it to be a bit of a shock, but we thought you’d at least be happy for us—”

“It’s not a shock,” Hotch interrupts.

“What?”

“It’s not a shock,” Emily repeats. “Everyone saw this coming a mile off. We’re not surprised.”

Now, he’s even more lost. “Look, can you guys just sit down? You towering over me is creeping me out, man.”

“Good,” Hotch says easily.

Irritation takes over, and he stands up. “You know what, if you’re gonna be funny about it, I don’t actually have to be here.”

Before he can actually make to leave, though, Hotch is shoving him back down into the chair, old metal and plastic creaking under the force of his caught-off-guard body hitting it again. “Stay.”

“What is going on?” Derek explodes. Maybe under different circumstances he’d be able to profile the situation but as it stands, he’s stressed and confused, desperate only to be allowed to leave this dark, cramped room and take Spencer back to his place. It almost surprises him that all he craves in such a weird and unfamiliar situation is cuddles and a nature documentary, but he’s been with Spencer long enough for it to be approaching normal. The younger man’s probably back at his desk by now, wondering where he is, and Derek would hate for him to be worried. He just wants to go home.

“Derek, we are happy for you and Spencer,” Emily finally explains. “But we couldn’t in good conscience let this go on without having a… chat.” Her face twists into the faux charming expression he’s watched her use to disarm unsubs countless times. It stings a little that she’s using it on him.

He splutters a little as a realisation dawns on him, equal parts bemused and offended. “This is… this is a shovel talk!”

“Yes,” Hotch says with a straight face, his expression tight and intimidating as he tilts his head to the side slightly, clearly entirely unaffected by Derek’s emotions. “This is a shovel talk.”

Derek feels himself relax, tension easing slightly. “Guys, I appreciate the sentiment, but Spencer’s my boyfriend; nobody wants to protect him more than I do. You don’t have to worry about me.”

“I’m pretty sure we could give you a run for your money,” Emily says, her expression quickly transforming into something far more dangerous and challenging than only moments previously. “Spencer has something every single member of this team would die to protect. And if you get in our way, then we’re going to have a problem.”

“Emily, what, we’re friends.”

“Yeah,” she agrees, shrugging easily, “and I love you. But Spencer is my little brother, and I would do anything to stop him from getting hurt. As long as you don’t interfere with my primary mission, we’ll be fine.”

Hotch speaks before Derek can get a word in. “Derek, I knew Spencer long before you did. I remember the first time Gideon brought him to one of our lunches, and I saw something in him that made my heart ache. It didn’t take me long to realise that what I saw were the scars left by incredible deep-seated pain. Spencer has been through hell and back throughout his life, and he’s been hurt repeatedly by people who were supposed to protect him, including Gideon. I would do anything to prevent him from getting hurt by someone like that again, you hear me? Anything.”

As confusing as this all is, Derek can’t help but feel touched by Hotch’s earnest, emotional speech. Most of his nightmares these days revolve around Spencer getting hurt, and it’s kind of reassuring to know that he has so many people in the world who will stop at nothing to prevent those horrible dreams from spiralling into reality.

He can’t help but smile a little. “I’m glad he has you two,” Derek says honestly, looking between them, “but I can assure you that if I ever hurt Spencer for some unfathomable reason, your services wouldn’t be needed. I would hate myself enough for all three of us.” Even just considering the hypothetical possibility of hurting Spencer makes his stomach turn: it’s enough for him to know that he wouldn’t need Hotch and Emily to hold him accountable to that, his own self-loathing would be punishment enough.

It seems to appease Hotch and Emily, who Derek realises look sort of like intimidating twin mafia bosses standing over him like this, and they finally step back a little, posture relaxing.

“Well, what are you waiting for then?” Emily says, smiling for real this time. “Get your boy and get home. It’s getting late, you know.”

He rolls his eyes at her as he makes his way to the door.

“Oh, and Derek,” Hotch says, laying a hand on his shoulder, turning him before he can leave, a genuine smile on his face too, “I am actually happy for you and Spencer.”

Derek grins at that. He really is a lucky, lucky man. “Thanks, Hotch.”

“What was that about?” Spencer asks, his features twisting in curiosity as Derek makes his way across the bullpen to his boyfriend, Hotch and Emily emerging from the same room moments later.

Derek doesn’t answer properly, laughing instead. “You got some good friends, you know that?”

Spencer nods, still looking a little confused, but clearly deciding to let it go as he slings his messenger bag across his body, standing up from his desk. Derek slings an arm around Spencer’s shoulders, leading him towards the exit as his insides twist at the adorable blush that colours Spencer’s cheeks so prettily.

“Derek,” he hisses, “shouldn’t we be leaving separately?”

“I think it’s a little late for that,” he chuckles, looking over his shoulder. Spencer does the same, blushing even fiercer as he spots Hotch and Emily leaning against the railing, overlooking the bullpen with all-knowing looks on their faces.

“Oh my god,” Spencer mumbles, clearly embarrassed, but Derek just laughs again as they leave the bullpen and approach the elevators.

“Come on, pretty boy,” he sighs happily, sliding the arm around his shoulders to rest at his waist, fingertips pressing into the small frame of the boy he’s already falling in love with. “Let’s get you home. That penguin documentary awaits.”

“You’re gonna watch Emperors and Kings with me?” Spencer’s happy exclamation and the delighted expression on his face only warms his heart further, and in that moment he decides that he wants a happy Spencer and another nature documentary within his reach for the rest of his life.

Surprisingly, it’s not as terrifying a thought as it might once have been.

(If Derek thinks the shovel talk from Hotch and Emily is bad, though, it’s nothing compared to the one he gets from Penelope. By the end of the next day, he’s somehow reduced to tears that are both happy and the product of extreme terror, on the receiving end of a ‘baby girl’ ban for keeping it from her for so long. In the end, he decides that it’s probably an alright price to pay for everything beautiful that his life has blossomed into over the last few months.)

taglist: @criminalmindsvibez @suburban--gothic @strippersenseii @takeyourleap-of-faith @negativefouriq @makaylajadewrites @iamrenstark @livrere-blue @hotchseyebrows @jellejareau @reidology @i-like-buttons @spencerspecifics @bau-gremlin @hotchedyke @tobias-hankel @goobzoop @marsjareau @garcias-bitch @oliverbrnch @im-autistic @anxious-enby @queerminalminds (taglist form)

[writesowhatnext]

pretending is a gateway drug // george weasley

Summary: George bribes the reader into being his fake girlfriend for forty-two days, you can imagine how that plays out.

Request: hey lovey! absolutely in love with your writing; it’s so beautiful and i just cannot get enough of it! if your requests are open (and you like the idea) could i ask for our beloved george x reader—i’ve recently been obsessed with fake dating tropes where they end up together in the end.. i don’t have anything specific in mind for the plot, i know whatever you come up with will be fabulous :D thanks a ton darling.. keep on writing, you have a gift, x

A/N: I love this trope so much and this was the sweetest compliment and I was beyond excited to start this – also I usually try to keep it gender neutral but it was a struggle with this so sorry about that :( also this is so long oh my god

Reader: female

Warnings: female reader, making out

You hadn’t heard George sneak up behind you, but being friends with the twins for as long as you had, you weren’t surprised easily.

“Y/N, I need a favour,” he said, leaning on the bookshelf you were rifling through. You didn’t turn to face him; you already knew it was George by his voice.

“No.”

You dragged your fingers across the spines of a few books before finding the book on Potions you were after, a disproportionately happy smile lifting your cheeks at the prospect.

“You don’t even know what it is!”

You huffed, running your tongue over your teeth before turning to him, tilting your head.

“Fine. What is it?”

You raised your eyebrow, leaning the book on your hip. He smiled slightly.

“I need you to pretend to be my girlfriend.”

You blinked at him, staring at his hopeful expression.

“No.”

And with that, you walked over to Madam Pince to sign out the book. George stayed a few feet behind you, not wanting to incur Madam Pince’s wrath as he had done countless times before. Fred and George were notorious in the library; once they’d made Pince so mad she banned them for a month before McGonagall convinced her they needed to use the library for their studies. A laughable idea.

“Thank you,” you said to the librarian. She shot George a deathly glare over your shoulder and you couldn’t help but enjoy his discomfort. She then directed it at you and you found yourself walking toward the exit very quickly.

“Come on, Y/N, please!” George begged, walking next to you back to the Gryffindor common room.

“No.”

“Please…”

“Nope.”

“What if I split the money with you?”

You stopped in your tracks, frowning and turning your head towards him.

“What money?”

You wanted to punch him for the cheerful grin that erupted on his face.

“I am so very glad you asked. Ron said that I couldn’t get a girlfriend if I tried, which is a bit rich, really, don’t you think?”

Something about your expression told him he should get to the point.

“Anyway, so, Ron made a bet with Fred that I couldn’t get a girlfriend before the Yule Ball.”

“So why not just get one of the Beauxbatons girls to date you? It’s like two months away.”

“Forty-two days, actually. And, I don’t actually want a girlfriend.”

You narrowed your eyes.

“I don’t believe you.”

He rolled his eyes and grabbed your shoulders, spinning you around to face the window, the whole of Hogwarts in the view.

“There is a whole world of girls to make out with out there, Y/N. Now, why would I limit myself?”

You turned your head to face him, his face very close to yours from where he stood with his palms still sat on your shoulders. Your face felt warm all of a sudden.

“I hate you.”

“I know,” he smiled, letting you go so you could turn around. “But will you help me?”

“Why me? Why not Angelina? Or Katie?”

“Fred’s got his eye on Angelina and I think Katie actually fancies me…” his expression turned from pensive to cocky in almost a second. “Can’t blame her really.”

You scoffed, rolling your eyes and crossing your arms, your book perched in your hand.

“How much?”

“The bet’s four galleons.”

“Four?” you echoed, frowning. “Bloody hell, Ron must really think you’re undesirable.”

You smirked, tilted your head to the side. “Can’t blame him really.”

“Oi!” George huffed, pushing you to the side. You shoved him back, starting to walk again.

“I’ll do it for two galleons.”

“Two galleons! That’s bloody half!”

“Nice to see your years of Arithmancy has paid off.”

“That only leaves a galleon each for me and Fred.”

“Without me, it leaves nothing for you and Fred, because without me, you won’t win the bet.”

He stared at you for a moment, the only sound: your in-sync footsteps down the corridor.

“Fine.”

“When do we start then, boyfriend?” you asked, stopping directly outside the Fat Lady’s portrait and swivelling to face George with a smug grin, enjoying his annoyed reluctance far too much.

“Right now, girlfriend.”

And so, that’s how became George Weasley’s girlfriend in four minutes – no doubt a new record for him. When you walked inside, you rushed to sit down first, as you always did, and ended up on the opposite side of the sofa to Fred, your feet stretched out towards him and your back against the arm. As he always did, George lifted your feet with an eye roll and sat underneath them, resting them on his lap. The others all greeted you but nobody batted an eyelid.

But then George placed his hand on your leg, just above your knee and you felt your breath hitch at the contact. He seemed to notice your unease and turned to you, a silent question in his eyes as he began to rub his thumb up and down. You shot him a small smile, mainly for any audience you may have had, you told yourself, but you couldn’t deny how nice it felt, though and that both scared and delighted you.

“I’m sorry,” Fred said, his voice loud as he looked at you. No one had really heard him yet, but you knew it wouldn’t stop him, he was relentless. His eyes were full of amusement and you could only imagine how much he’d enjoy this whole arrangement. “What is happening here?”

He pointed at George’s hand on your knee and for some reason, George had the good sense to look almost bashful at the attention. Some part of you didn’t want him to make it a big deal or obvious but you couldn’t figure out why exactly.

“Bit saucy for you two, isn’t it?”

With a scowl, you lifted up the leg George’s hand wasn’t rested on and kicked Fred in the side, earning a grunt in response.

“Shut up, Fred,” you whispered, trying not to draw attention to yourself. George laughed at his twin’s pained expression.

“Brilliant, love.” He said so easily it was almost natural. You froze at the pet-name but thankfully you could blame it on Ron’s outburst that had cut through the room.

“Is something going on with you two?” he asked suspiciously, looking between you and George accusingly.

“Get a grip,” Ginny insisted, “Y/N would never stoop that low.”

You smiled at her comment but you knew you’d have to do something pretty convincing to earn your two galleons.

“Oh, shut up, Ron,” you said half-heartedly, drawing every eye listening to you. George’s hand squeezed your leg comfortingly, or maybe warningly. Hermione frowned, leaning forward.

“Are you dating George?”

You pursed your lips and leant into the back of the sofa, automatically towards George, a force of habit you weren’t aware of.

“Wow,” Harry said, rather observantly for him. You rolled your eyes before standing up and walking away from them. You knew all eyes were on you and so, you stopped and turned, eyebrows drawn down.

“You coming?”

George’s face lit up at your words and he stood up, grinning as he raced over to you. As you both walked towards the boys’ dorms, you could feel their stares on your back. George could too, it seemed, and as you started up the stairs, he rested a hand on your hip. You knew, at that point, that you were definitely getting paid after this.

You were two weeks in when you started slipping. You hadn’t forgotten that you were supposed to be dating, in fact, it seemed like you’d forgotten that you weren’t really. Something about George just felt so right and easy. He’d put his arm around your waist when you sat next to him or around your shoulder in the corridor and he’d kiss your hairline before he left and your cheek when you’d done something to be proud of. You spent more time with him to keep up appearances and whilst you knew you liked George - he was one of your best friends for a reason - you didn’t realise how much you liked his company. He made you laugh until you thought you’d throw up and smile so much your cheeks would ache. You had to remind yourself it wasn’t real but you didn’t suspect anything untoward about your feelings really – you were just close with your best friend, is all.

Ron, however, was immensely suspicious. After three weeks of the pretence, he stormed in to find you lying on the sofa with George, your head on his shoulder with his arm wrapped around you as you played with each other’s hands, talking about nothing. It wouldn’t have been an uncommon sight before your business deal but now everybody thought you were dating, there was something strangely intimate about it.

“I know you’re faking it,” Ron said, frowning and pointing his finger at you both. You snorted and George frowned, neither of you moving.

“Okay?” you said, not at all fazed. Maybe you’d gotten a little too used to it.

“I’ve never seen you kiss.”

You shot Ron a strange look before you felt George’s lips briefly pressed against the side of your head. Ron rolled his eyes and crossed his arms, a smug expression on his face.

“I meant properly. I’ve never seen you kiss properly.”

Fred, who’d only just arrived, sat down on a chair opposite you with an amused smile.

“You’re a right little pervert. Aren’t you, Ronniekins?”

“Oh, piss off, Fred. You know I’m right!”

“Fine,” George said, shuffling a little bit and sitting you both up. He stood on the sofa, dragging you up with him. He ignored your confused expression, looking around the busy common room with a grin. “Ladies, gentlemen and Ron, this is my very real girlfriend and we are very really dating and I love her very much.”

You knew it wasn’t real and you were fine with that, you thought. You couldn’t ignore, though, the unsettling feeling in your stomach. You didn’t have time to think on it though because within seconds, George had grabbed your face in his large, warm hands and kissed you. You were understandably startled at first, completely unprepared and very much not convinced about how fake the whole thing was – it certainly didn’t feel fake when he bit softly at your bottom lip. There were multiple wolf whistles and hoots from the people around, mostly Fred, you suspected. You couldn’t focus on them as your hands shot to George’s chest in surprise, his jumper soft under your fingertips. He leant you back a little bit, one of his hands holding you close to him by the small of your back. It wasn’t until you felt lightheaded that he pulled away.

Slightly dazed, you looked up at him and he sent you a dazzling smile before he turned to Ron, who was as red as a tomato and swallowing gruffly.

“Fine,” he muttered, shaking his head. He all but slumped away, cursing under his breath.

George turned to you, a smile on his face, as everyone decided they had better things to do than stare at you and George making out. You felt a lump in your throat as you stared at him and for a moment, it all felt way too real; one hand on your back and the other cupping your jaw, you felt like he was still kissing you and suddenly you couldn’t breathe again. George opened his mouth to speak but Fred beat him to it. His face was a lot lower than yours were from his place on the floor, a ridiculously smug smile on his lips.

“Brilliant work, you two,” he said cheerily, staring at you for a fraction too long. “Truly dedicated to the cause.”

You felt sick at his words, but you nodded anyway.

“Thanks for going with me there, Y/N. We definitely sold that kiss.”

You nodded again, feeling empty. Nothing made you feel more hollow, though than when George’s hands left you.

“Ready to go give Filch a lunchtime he won’t regret?”

“Always,” George replied, beyond excited. He shot you a wink before disappearing with his brother through the portrait hole. You sat down on the sofa with a huff, your eyes sad and your heart tied to an anchor.

You avoided George the fourth week. Not enough to make anyone suspicious, but enough to make you feel less horrible about the whole situation. You weren’t ready to think about why it had been bothering you so much; you knew it was fake when you signed up for it and it wasn’t like you liked George or anything. Fortunately, a voice calling your name interrupted you before you could go down that rabbit hole. Unfortunately, the voice belonged to George and he was chasing after you, rushing past shorter students. You knew full well you couldn’t avoid him, no matter how much you wanted to, so you plastered a big smile on your face and turned to him, fully aware that noise carried on the moving staircases.

“Georgie,” you said happily, ignoring the gnawing feeling inside. “How’re you?”

You expected an equally fake response from him, but, as always, he surprised you. He grabbed the top of your arm lightly and pulled you into a deserted classroom, shutting the door behind you and dropping his hand.

“Why are you avoiding me?” he asked, his eyebrows drawn together and eyes full of, what looked like, hurt. He was a better actor than you gave him credit for.

“What do you mean?” Your voice was the same light and airy tone you’d used in the corridor and it clearly wasn’t sitting well with George.

“No, no,” he shook his head, his long red hair swishing with the movement. He did look very handsome- “None of that crap, I’m serious. Why’re you avoiding me?”

“Why?” you frowned. “Does someone suspect something?”

“What?” he looked visibly taken aback. “No, forget that. I want to know why my best friend is ignoring me.”

You swallowed, not really looking at him, but through him.

“It’s nothing, George.”

“It’s clearly not nothing-“

“George, give it a rest, please.”

He paused, noticing how upset you seemed. He went to brush away a stray lock of hair from your cheek when you pulled away, avoiding his eyes.

“I’ll make sure nobody questions anything, don’t worry,” you said before rushing around him, leaving the door open behind you.

George officially didn’t know what he was doing. It seemed like a great idea, at first. He needed a fake girlfriend, his best friend was a girl and Fred had agreed, he’d pushed him to ask you and it was going great, it was very convincing. Truth be told, he loved it. He loved making you laugh and he loved the casual touches and the affection. But then he kissed you, and something changed and now you wouldn’t even talk to him.

“Fred?” he asked, sitting on the floor of his dorm opposite his brother. “Do you think I’ve messed it all up with Y/N?”

“What?”

Fred, who rarely worried about anything in life, was concerned. As soon as Ron had teased George about getting a girlfriend, he’d orchestrated the whole thing to try and get the two of you together. He’d been right, as well; those few weeks you spent pretending only further convinced him that you were both perfect for each other. But now, sitting there, playing around with random inventions, he felt slightly guilty.

“She won’t talk to me,” he paused, “I think it’s this stupid bet.”

Fred had never seen George look so sad.

“After I kissed her, she’s just been acting so weird. I just-“ he paused again, sighing. “I just want my best friend back.”

Whilst Fred was, of course, very sympathetic to his brother’s plight, he’d stopped listening. George’s words only further solidified his belief – if you freaked out after kissing George, there was only one reason why and he would get it out of you, kicking and screaming.

“You fancy George,” he said the next day, following you into an empty corridor on your way to the library to return a book.

“Firstly, stop following me, you creepy sod. Secondly, of course, I do,” your voice grew an edge, “he’s my boyfriend.”

“Now we both know, dear Y/N, that that is not what I meant.”

You stopped walking and frowned at him; his smile only grew.

“See, I thought about why kissing him would freak you out so much and it just became so blindingly obvious. I mean you picked the less good-looking twin, but I can understand it-“

“Does he know?” you asked, and Fred’s amusement faded when he saw your panic.

“No, but I suggest you talk to him about it. It’s definitely in your best interest.”

With that, he strolled in the opposite direction, whislting with his hands shoved in his pockets, leaving you with a big decision and also, probably, a library fine.

You didn’t decide to talk to George until dinner. You sat next to him the whole time, your arms touching, but never really interacting with each other and that only created a black hole in your chest. You couldn’t cope without George, as your best friend or the something more you knew you wanted him to be. After you’d both finished eating, you reached over and grabbed his hand, his head jolting towards you at the contact.

“Can we talk?” you asked quietly, everyone else too concentrated on their food to hear you. He nodded and with a carefully calculated routine, you walked out of the Great Hall hand in hand. Your hands dropped as soon as you turned the corner and that alone made you feel sick.

“George-“

“Y/N-“

You both stopped, nervous, breathy laughter filling the corridor over the soft hum of people talking from the hall next door.

“You go first,” you insisted, desperate to avoid what you knew you had to do.

“Well,” he scratched the back of his neck with his hand before sighing. “This whole thing started off really nice, like really nice,” your eyebrows drew downwards at the soft pink flush of his cheeks.

“But now it’s weird and we’re weird and I- Y/N, I don’t want us to be weird. I don’t care about four stupid galleons; I care about my best friend-“

“George, I like you. Like, like like you ”

You had to curse yourself for your timing, but you just couldn’t hold it in, looking at his sweet expression as his mouth said such nice things.

“What?”

You screwed your eyes shut and let out a shaky exhale.

“I didn’t know I did until we were pretending and then there was all the touching and the talking and it just felt so right and then you kissed me and I didn’t know what to do because it wasn’t real and all I wanted it to be was real and I didn’t know-“

His lips were on yours and his hands, cupping your jaw gently, pulled you into him. You barely registered it before he pulled away, a large smile on his face that only grew larger with your bewildered expression.

“Y/N, will you be my girlfriend?” he asked, wetting his lips as his thumb lightly brushed your cheekbone. You blinked at him, your mouth opening and closing like a goldfish.

“For real?”

He laughed.

“For real.”

You couldn’t help the slow smile that lifted your cheeks, unable to contain the happiness that flodded through you. Your whole body felt light and George’s smitten expression made your heart soar. His eyes twinkled and you knew that yours would be just as ecstatic.

“I thought you didn’t want to limit yourself to just one-“

Before you could finish your teasing remark, he was kissing you again and this time, it was even better; this time it was for real.

harry potter tag list:

@creator-appreciator

@loveisblindness​

@decadentwastelandtrash - I’m having trouble tagging you I’m sorry!!

@xinyourdreamsx​ 

@brainlesspasta​ 

[skyahri]

Quirks |Peter Parker X Stark!Reader| HC

Summary: Hosting the Stark Expo is difficult.

Warnings: None:)

-----

Peter was very aware of your... quirks...

He knew exactly what put you off and always tried his best to intervene when people pushed your buttons (even if it was unknowingly).

So when the Stark Expo came around, he made it his top priority to make your night as easy as possible.

He intercepted every folder and beverage that was offered and gave it to you directly.

He never gave anyone the opportunity to touch you, even if it was only a handshake.

He handled all of the small tasks you were given, such as guest list clearances and security checks.

He was honestly the perfect body guard.

Not that he was a body guard by any means... he was there as your boyfriend and nothing more, he just wanted to help.

You were entirely grateful for him.

Every year there was always something that happened that pushed you over the edge; insistent hand shakes, inappropriate grabs, or just the God awful offerings that people always had.

Your hate of being handed things was entirely your father's fault and you cursed him for enforcing it on you at such a young age.

Luckily you had Peter, though.

Who was more than willing to take on the burden of protecting your pet peeves.

Even outside of the Expo, he was always aware of your comfort.

And you loved him for it.

It gave you more time to talk with business men and make work connections.

But unfortunately he can't be there all the time, which is how you ended up in this situation.

A forty year old man insisting that you take his half empty chardonnay glass.

"I don't like to be handed things."

"And I don't remember asking, doll. Just take it."

Ooooh that pissed you off like nothing ever has before.

"My name isn't doll and I don't like to be handed things."

"Do you know who I am? Surely, you don't or you never would've spoken to me like that."

He had a nasty, cocky attitude.

One that was obviously undeserving and arrogant.

You pulled out your phone and quickly scoured your guest list for his profile.

"You're Gregory Pines; owner of Stark Industry's main metal supplier for the past twelve years."

"Exactly. So take this and piss off before I have you fired."

You briefly read over his information and clicked your tongue.

"Actually, it looks like you're here to renew the contract, but since you're a total asshole, I'm gonna go ahead and deny your request."

"And who the fuck are you to do that?"

"Y/N Stark."

His rage filled expression quickly died and turned into one of pure embarrassment.

His gaze soured after a moment and you quickly realized things were about to get out of hand.

Luckily Peter showed up just as the man raised his hand to hit you.

He caught the slap mid air with his strong grip and flipped him around to pin him to the table.

Security was there in a heartbeat and Pines was escorted away immediately and banned from the Expo.

While you were nonchalant about the whole thing, knowing something like this was bound to happen, Peter was freaking the fuck out.

"I'm so, so, sorry, Y/N! I just went to check in with Ms. Potts, I didn't know something would happen!"

You laughed at him and dragged him and set your hands on his arms, making him face you.

"Calm down, Peter, it was nothing serious."

"Nothing serious?! I was gone for five minutes and you almost got assaulted!"

"Yes... but things worked out in the end. Even if you hadn't showed up, I have a few tricks up my sleeve to defend myself. Just take a breath, okay?"

And with that you dragged him over to the center of the room where various people were slow dancing.

Your made him dance with you, hoping it would settle his heart and he would unwind a bit.

As much as you knew he tried to cushion your interactions with people to cope with your faults... you were also aware of his quirks...

And caring too much about other people to the point of insanity was definitely one of them.

"I know you're just trying to help, Peter, but this should be fun for you. Try to enjoy the Expo, alright? I'm a big girl, I can handle myself."

"You shouldn't have to, though. If I can help even a little, I know it'll make your night easier."

"I'm used to this kind of stuff- I do it every year. It doesn't stress me out as much as you think it does."

"How does this not stress you out?"

"Because I'm a super genius with other worldly problems. Talking to people is not on my list of worries for tonight. If I'm being honest, I'm more concerned about Steve having a heart attack over the half naked women walking around than I am about Gregory Pines."

"That... sounds about right."

"So don't worry so much, baby. I appreciate your help, but not at the cost of your sanity."

He stayed silent after that, not wanting to admit that the night was quite literally tearing him apart.

You two kept dancing and forgot all about the things that bothered you.

Whether it be snooty old men mistaking you for a waitress or the overwhelming responsibility of hosting an event.

It didn't really matter when you had each other to balance things out.

[sarahlynnirl]

Losing my best friend - Sugar Daddy culture is not empowering

I finally feel strong enough to talk about this and hopefully get some love, support, and reassurance from other women who agree that this is fucked up. I’ve never been “terfy on main” before so here goes. (TW child abuse + SA but no graphic descriptions of SA)

My mother is a narcissist who financially and emotionally abused my father and myself, with some additional physical abuse of me, for as long as I can remember. My dad made plenty of money but my mom controlled it all and made sure it didn’t go towards anything for me beyond the bare minimum required not to look obviously guilty of child abuse and neglect. I met Kiara (not her real name) when I was a junior in highschool and she was a freshman. Her mom was a single Korean woman doing her best to support Kiara and her 2 sisters while also running a Korean restaurant. My first jobs were a summer camp counselor and fitting room attendant at Forever 21. I would spend the last scraps of my paycheck making sure Kiara was able to order a full meal when our friends went out to dinner, buying her little gifts, and generally trying to keep us both as happy and healthy as possible.

When Kiara graduated highschool her mom drove her into Koreatown New Jersey, got her a room in the apartment of an acquaintance, and basically left her to fend for herself. Kiara spoke barely any Korean. She began working at a Korean salon where she met Ariana (not her real name). She had a NY cosmetology license, not an NJ one, while Ariana was an illegal immigrant from Korea so they were both overworked, underpaid, forced to work overtime, paid under minimum wage, and deprived of their tips. They couldn’t report or complain about this since they were both working illegally.

Kiara had to pay rent for the one room she occupied despite her land lady yelling at her, walking into her room while she slept, banning her from having friends over, and reporting to her mom if she spoke to a guy on the phone or a guy dropped her off. I was working at a restaurant in my college town on top of my classes and doing my best to keep surprising her with little gifts, but neither of us had enough disposable income to afford to visit each other. This was really difficult for me as she was my favorite person in the world and I was used to spending every second with her when we both lived in upstate NY. Ariana got them both to start using SeekingArrangement for one time meet ups with Sugar Daddies where they were paid anywhere from $200-2000 for sex. “The first time I ever did it I walked out of the hotel and just screamed because I was so disgusted and I was thinking about his wrinkly skin touching mine and all I wanted to do was get in the shower and scrub it off but I had $1000 cash in my hand for a couple hours of work which was so crazy and kinda made it all worth it ya know?” - Ariana to me

I was immediately skeptical and a little grossed out but Kiara genuinely seemed happier. She was buying new clothes for herself, ordering food to the apartment when she was hungry, and taking trips into NYC to have fun with Ariana and her friends. By the beginning of the summer of 2019, Kiara had found the Sugar Daddy who she would establish a long term agreement with and who ultimately ended up completely supporting her. I’m not going to say his name here but if people want to know it just ask, I am willing to share. He moved her into a much nicer much bigger apartment with Ariana as her roommate. He paid for me to fly up and visit her, and all of our activities during this vacation. I’m so sorry I’m so sorry I’m so sorry. I wish I shoved the money back in her hand before it was too late, I wish I worked harder and longer hours and got us an apartment in Florida and paid both of our rent. I’m so fucking sorry I didn’t listen to my instincts and allowed her to brush off my concerns. It was the most freedom we had ever had, I ran around NYC by myself while she was at work, and my ex took the bus to NJ from upstate NY and joined us for a few days. I feel so selfish but I also didn’t know how bad things would get.

One night Kiara and I went to NYC for dinner with her SD and she took the bus back to the apartment because she had to work early the next morning. It made sense for me to stay in the city because I was supposed to visit my friend at NYU the next morning. In the Uber to his apartment alone with him he was drunk and high and I very clearly looked scared shitless. At this point she was 19 (but she had looked that way since age 17 and I doubt he would have minded if she was lying about her age), I was 21 and he was 44. He seemed offended by my discomfort and was basically like “jeez relax I’m not gonna touch you, I really care about Kiara I think she’s so amazing, just go to the guest room and sleep, make a left to walk to NYU when you wake up.” I peaced the fuck out of there early the next morning.

After that summer Kiara and Ariana quit their jobs at the Korean salon and sugaring became their sole incomes. Ariana was still doing one time meet ups, not nearly as financially stable as Kiara, and got herself into a lot of credit card debt that to my knowledge she’s still in. At this point Kiara was flying down and staying with me in Florida so often that people at my college thought she went there too. I also wasn’t working at this point because college had gotten harder and my ex was fucking up my mental health real bad. He had given me a coke problem and Kiara sending me “grocery money” was enabling me to continue. I wasn’t honest with her about where all the money was going. During Halloween week we didn’t know that she couldn’t just snort molly (MDMA) with the frequency I was doing coke, she ODed, my guy best friend took us to the ER, it was so fucking scary, she got IV fluids for 2 hours and made a full recovery, she stopped doing molly, I kept doing coke. I’m so sorry :(

In November her SD paid for us to take a trip to Cancun Mexico. He was with us for the first part of the trip and this is where things started to get really bad. He tried to be my friend and act the way a boyfriend of my best friend who was my age would, but it was creepy and wrong and I was so uncomfortable. He asked about my drug use in a way that was gross and shamey and basically him seeing me as the “coke whore” stereotype...while continuing to buy me more coke. He also brought and gave us ecstasy pills. He asked really invasive questions about my relationship with my ex, why I stayed, my sex life, etc. It felt like an uncle asking me these questions, I did NOT wanna talk about any of this with him. But from what I did say it was very clear to someone with 44 years of life experience that I had an abusive mother, an addictive personality, and was in an unhealthy relationship. He offered to set me up with an SD friend of his looking for a sugar baby. I of course declined because I always knew this was a boundary I wasn’t willing to cross. No matter how bad my addictions got I would NOT give up that piece of myself in return for money.

In this part of Mexico, drugs that were only given with a prescription in the US were available over the counter. Kiara and I got a little box of 1mg Xanax with my money. My ex had given us Xanax a couple times in NY and we had fun with it, but at this point in time we did NOT have a problem with it. We had bought one bar, broken it in half, and each took half one night of Halloween week and called it “xanpires”, but this wasn’t something we were scripted or buying regularly from plugs. We went to dinner with her SD, we got up to go to the bathroom, and she immediately slipped and hit the ground. I was like woah did you take one of the xans and forget? Because we were supposed to tell each other if we were taking one so we could look out for each other. I was never mad at her! I never wanted money from her! I was just a little concerned, and once I determined that she was safe we thought it was kinda funny that she had taken a xan without realizing and started joking around about it. Her SD of course didn’t understand how a 19 year old and 21 year old girl joke with each other because he was a creepy old man, decided that we were “arguing”, and got up from the restaurant, walked across the street, bought a 90 count bottle of 2mg xans and gave it to me. This was honestly the most irresponsible way someone has ever treated me in my life, and this is coming from someone with an abusive and neglectful parent. Google “benzo withdrawal” if you’re not familiar with it.

We went to a different hotel, and Kiara and I both took xans and blacked out. I passed out on the guest bed, while Kiara was awake but in a conscious blackout. I woke up on the couch on the balcony (which was fine, it was comfy and I saw the sunrise over the beach. The gross part was that meant her SD had picked me up, put his hands on my body while I was unconscious and carried me out there). I remembered that at one point I had woken up, wanted to go to the bathroom or get something from inside, caught a glimpse of what I thought was them having sex, and went back outside. I mentioned it to Kiara and she had no memory of it whatsoever, she thought all she had done was gone to sleep. She was rightfully pissed the fuck off that her SD had taken advantage and done things with her while she was blacked, screamed at him, he gave us a half ass apology, and bought us more stuff (buying our silence). He finally flew home and we got to enjoy the trip with just each other, but I was careless with the dosage of a drug called tramadol, and I ODed with my head in her lap...I’m sorry. When I woke up I was hallucinating, hearing voices, crying hysterically and terrified. Kiara called my ex who asked how many mg I took, told us I was 100mg short of the amount that would require medical attention, made me laugh, and told me to go to sleep. I recognize how scary and unfair to her this was and I really do take responsibility for my actions. The day I was supposed to leave I did ecstasy, hooked up with a guy from Canada, and tried to skip my flight. She was mad because like yeah what the fuck. She got me on the flight, the ecstasy comedown hit, and there’s pictures of me crying in the airport because I hated when we fought.

I was supposed to stop in Miami, then fly back to my college town but while in Miami I texted my granny that I was “sad and really didn’t feel good and could she and my uncle visit me at the airport and bring my uncles dog?”. Her parenting instincts went off that something was very wrong, made me skip the flight, picked me up from the airport and took me to her house where I immediately threw up and ran an extremely high fever that night. She said it was one of the scariest nights of her life and she kept checking on me to see if I needed to go to the hospital. She drove me back to my college town where my guy best friend took me to the ER and it came out that Kiaras SD, in addition to giving me drugs, had also allowed me to drink Mexican tap water throughout the entire trip. I was treated for that + given chlamydia meds just in case since I’d had unprotected sex in a foreign country. I was fine, promised to do better, Kiara forgave me, things started to go back to normal. Except I had begun taking Xanax daily to deal with the anxiety of the illness...and she had a trip to Bali planned.

During that trip things managed to get even worse. She was there with her SD and another Korean friend and her SD was pressuring her and guilting her into sex, isolating her from her friend, going through her phone, and becoming extremely aggressive. She would call me crying and having panic attacks and I would walk out of class to try to comfort her over FaceTime. She did not have panic attacks before this trip. She begged to go home early because something was very wrong but he said it was a waste of money and kept her in Bali until the planned end of the trip. I think it was almost a month. She sent me a recording she secretly took of him screaming at her and her saying “don’t touch me, don’t grab me like that, leave me alone”. When she got back to the US I was begging her to stop. I was so worried for her safety. I said the money wasn’t worth it, we’ll get jobs, please just stop. I’m pretty sure he read those messages. We also had a suspicion that he had installed spyware on her phone but were never able to prove it. At this point I also reached out to my dad for help and his response was basically “I don’t care, not my problem, focus on school”. I reached out to my granny who absolutely cared, but her response was “I’m sorry but I can’t afford to support her, I have to focus on taking care of you, if she won’t stop this you’ll have to stop being friends with her”.

I went home to New York for winter break, suffered through my first round of Xanax withdrawal and was truly trying to get better but my ex manipulated his was back in my life and got me addicted again....but now this bottle of 90 had run out. I went back to my college town, got scripted, and was copping street bars when my script inevitably ran out early. What comes next is blurry for obvious reasons. We moved to the town in Florida my granny lived in and got an apartment together. The female friends she made in our town (my current home) she got most of them into sugaring and using SeekingArrangement. Things deteriorated super fast at this point. I was struggling hard, failing my online classes, and eventually got completely financially cut off by my parents. My granny was paying my half of the rent and my puppy’s vet bills but I was too embarrassed to admit I couldn’t afford groceries. Kiara was pressuring me hard to go on SeekingArrangement but I still refused. I would sit on the floor of the bathroom in a towel after I showered and just cry because the steam made me nauseous and dizzy since I wasn’t eating.

I met my current boyfriend and something just started to click: I didn’t wanna live like this anymore. The mom of a friend from this town who also refuses to sugar landed me an interview at the gym I currently work at, I fought for the job, and I got it. Now I knew I didn’t wanna be completely fucked up all the time anymore but I was still doing enough Xanax to keep me out of withdrawal. The 2mg that had blacked me out at the beginning were now just barely enough to keep me functional. Kiara and I were fighting frequently and bad by this time. She and her partner in sugaring, Mena (not her real name but pretty close to it, fuck this bitch fr) were expecting me to keep how they made their money a secret....from friends and guys that I saw every single day. They both very obviously did not work and were flexing new cars, designer clothes, and cash all over their social media. Kiara thought she could cover her ass by saying she dealt drugs but it was also obvious that she wasn’t putting the time into that to come up with the amount of money she had. The only one dealing drugs was me, and not enough to do anything flashy, just enough that in addition to my work money I was usually getting enough to eat. But there were still some times when the previous weeks paycheck had run out and I was having my first meal of the day at 3pm after someone had bought adderall from me. We had our serious serious fight where she threw my stuff in the lawn and I lived with my current boyfriend full time for about a couple weeks since my bedroom at my granny’s was getting refloored when this happened.

By January 20th he was concerned by my Xanax problem and wanted me to seriously try to stop. At the time I started tapering because I wanted the girlfriend title but I’m forever grateful for him giving me a reason, even if it was a shallow one, because I just needed to START. We tried to reconcile once, despite boyfriend and guy best friend begging me not to, and of course the same problems reappeared, we had another serious fight and haven’t spoken since.

Now the fog is clearing and today I’m 96 days clean of xanax, 16 days clean of all benzos, and 19 days clean of gabapentin (what was keeping me from having a seizure while quitting benzos). But it’s hard because being out of the fog means feeling all of my emotions, even the really bad ones. This past week I’ve been waking up and crying sitting in front of my mirror trying to put my makeup on for work and it just drips right off and I have to start over. She was my best friend for 8 years. My favorite person. My partner in life. I loved her more than anyone.

My boyfriend and guy best friend are pretty uncomfortable when they hear someone express an opinion of me that’s “Kiara’s side of the story” and I don’t correct it. Both of them saw exactly how bad it got near the very end and don’t get why I don’t defend myself more or tell people about her letting my dog eat dab (THC) wax while she was supposed to be watching her and having to be rushed to the animal hospital TWO separate times. (She’s a Pomeranian and the highly concentrated THC was super dangerous to her tiny little body). Yelling at me and giving me the silent treatment because less than 48 hours after my SA she expected me to drive her to a hair appointment in Miami and I woke up late and didn’t get her there on time with traffic. Me begging her to be there for me when it felt like everything was falling apart and I self harmed for the first time and her leaving me to go on a vacation to Orlando with a girl we didn’t even really like. Me not wanting to sleep in the apartment alone after my SA and her not letting me sleep in her bed anymore, her and Mena just dumping me at the neighbor’s so they could continue to sugar, party, and see guys our age at night (this sounds super awful but neighbors roommate —> current boyfriend. He kept me safe until I felt better, was really sweet and careful, and I was the one to make the first move). There’s more but I really don’t like talking about it, after the abuse she went through and I assume is still going through, I expect her to be pretty damaged and not have it in her to treat people right all the time. Not exposing every bad thing she’s ever done to all our mutual friends and acquaintances is kind of my last gift to her.

I also admit that sugaring wasn’t responsible for everything that went wrong. Loving an addict is difficult and exhausting and I went through it myself with my ex. I was also out bi and she was “probably straight, maybe a little bi-curious” in her words. But when she was drunk or on Xanax she’d kiss me first...we had done more than kiss but only during 3somes with a guy. I don’t know, I think I loved her more than I was supposed to and some of the stuff she’d say made me think she saw me in a way she really didn’t. When we first moved to this town I had a thing with a girl and expected it to be no big deal but things here were different than up north. I got called the d slur for the first time by someone who wasn’t joking. It was like getting slapped I was so shocked and hurt, I truly didn’t think that happened anymore. I think she saw what happened to me and kinda closed off that part of herself because she didn’t wanna experience that herself. She stopped making out with me at bars and parties after that and it made me sad and maybe a little jealous. But I really do blame her SD for basically “breaking her”, for handing me that first bottle of free Xanax, for a lot of other little things that I can’t possibly include because this is already way too long. This is my first time even saying this much. Feel free to add your own experiences or thoughts on this or anything you’d like. [I’m prepared to get death threats or called a SWERF or whatever but I don’t care, now that I started talking about this I’m not going to stop.]

[itbelillian]

deltarune ch2 spoilers

seriously I'm about to spoil the fuck out of the game and also the Alternative Route For Assholes

ok the 24 hour spoiler ban has passed but still: FINAL SPOILER WARNING. 

first: GOD this game is so. GOOD? holy sweet mother of meatball, I have been thinking about it nonstop for the past 2 days. it feels like a shitpost. I love queen dearly. the potassium gag. “what does bosom mean??” “tity.” every single interaction with her and berdly made me PISS myself laughing and especially The Statue. actually this whole game was really, really funny. the part where you and ralsei go on the swan boat, literally on acid, and battle it out with rouxls kaard. who is riding a duck. god where does toby come up with this material?? it is so weird but.... so good. his comedic chops have gotten a LOT better since undertale, and even chapter 1.

the art, music, and mechanics were SPOT ON. the recruitment thing, the implication that at some point you’re going to have to de-recruit someone for the betterment of your town, the town itself, just... good lord. toby has outdone himself. this adds so much complexity to the gameplay that was kind of lacking in undertale? I also love the way that the equipment has been done this time around, it adds an element of strategy to deciding who should get what items and when to equip different items. the team as a whole is so great, mechanics wise. fights with them are INFINITELY more entertaining than fighting alone as kris would be. and the art is WAY better than undertale. I've never been one to criticize Undertale’s graphics, and I still won’t, but it’s impossible to deny that deltarune is a step up in every way. the little animations of kris and susie entering the dark world, susie and lancer’s high-five, the attack/defend animations, just so good. the environments are super aesthetically pleasing, too. the music is great, of course. it’s Toby Fox what am I expecting?? to be honest nothing has really Hit Me the same way any tracks from undertale have, but maybe they will as I listen to them more. a big part of it is the familiarity.

also: I was never too attached to either susie or Ralsei in chapter one, but this really sold it for me. when I played Undertale I felt very invested in the characters, but not so much my friendship with them. it felt very much like we had just met each other. in deltarune I 100000 percent buy the friendship and I ADORE both of them so much? the fact that kris literally does not say anything but still has distinct dynamics with the two of them baffles me but I can’t complain because it is?? so?? amazing??? I was genuinely very upset when ralsei and susie left to do their own thing. I didn’t realize it as it was happening but I really loved having them around. I missed them. also it seems like EVERYONE except me was suspicious of ralsei, but now that it’s been pointed out... yeah. I love him to BITS so it pains me to say but something is Wrong With Him. why can he travel from dark world to dark world without turning into a statue? what are the titans, and why is he only mentioning them now? and actually, ALL of our information about the dark world is coming from him. how much is true? what else does he know that he’s not telling us? 

and what. WHAT. is up with kris? I don’t even have any theories I am just baffled. it seems like they’re the knight, right? have they been creating... all of the dark worlds, including the first one in the storage closet? does this make kris the villain? or is the creation of dark worlds a good thing... meaning ralsei is manipulating us into thinking the dark fountains are evil? Why would they slash Toriel’s tires? why are we possessing them? also I LOVE the puppet theme with the hidden bosses... and it really seems like something about that is not sitting right with kris, either. kris full on shouting that they’re not okay to ralsei after he asks... good god I am SO CURIOUS. the mystery element here is really on point. it’s so easy to settle into the comedy and fun little group dynamic, but something is always Wrong and when something reminds you it is deeply unsettling. the only group member who doesn’t seem to have something freaky and suspicious going on is susie... if she turns out to be evil too i stg im ejecting myself from the stratosphere 

also speaking of mysteries: not knowing how Undertale and deltarune connect is KILLING me. I fully buy into the theory that sans and papyrus are “from” the world of deltarune, originally. if the theory is true, then word search from icee’s pizzeria you find in UT is actually SO? brilliant. SANS GAVE YOU A WORD SEARCH FROM A RESTAURANT THAT ONLY EXISTS IN DELTARUNE. was toby thinking about this all the way back when Undertale was released??? but is deltarune an alternate... timeline? does undertale exist at ALL, if the sans and papyrus thing doesn’t turn out to be true? but if that were the case, why would sans’ grocery store be the same building as grillby’s, logo and all? does sans owning the grillby’s building indicate that sans went to the undertale world to take it?? what is going ON??? 

and just going to say it: snowgrave route in deltarune (is that what we’re calling it???) is a MILLION times freakier than the genocide route in Undertale. like ut is  depressing, it was Unfun to kill my friends, but the way you just... slowly corrupt pure, innocent Noelle and make her do your incredibly screwed up bidding is just disturbing. the way you just say “Proceed” at all the puzzles and like, gaslight her into thinking she didn’t TOTALLY MURK berdly and that ring seller guy... god it’s so messed up but also SO???? amazing??? murdering video game characters makes you feel like you’re... well, playing a video game. but forcing Noelle to do it for you??? something about that feels so much more twisted. god I feel like a sadistic bastard. 

deltarune is not undertale but it’s not trying to be. it definitely feels distinctly different, and maybe more sinister? expectations are through the roof for toby but he’s killing it. I remember being worried when deltarune ch1 was announced, because undertale doesn’t feel like the kind of game that can, or should, be followed up by anything. I think I was wrong though. I don’t know how its possible, but deltarune is the perfect thematic successor to undertale in every way I can think of. tl;dr PLAY DELTARUNE it was good