#if I didn’t have that I’d be so much more free

[giggly-squiggily]

Hi, is Lou. 😊

I saw that requests are open and I didn't really know what to send in, but then I saw that Dabi is one of your favorite lees, so may I ask for lee!Dabi with ler!Shigaraki please? Maybe Dabi has been annoying Tomura all day; not listening, disobeying orders, maybe even sneaking a few pokes here and there himself, so his boss decides to kick him down a notch?

Only if you want to of course! 😅🥰

{REQUESTS ARE CLOSED! This is an older ask!}

Lou! :D Hello friend! I hope you're doing alright :3 God I can't even begin to describe how much I love Lee!Dabi- he is just so fun to WRECK! >:D I gotcha covered, friend!

CW: Swearing, very very light restraints

Cloud 9 (Taglist Peeps):

@myreygn @thatbigbisexual29 @duckymcdoorknob @wolfyeatstacos @baby-tickles2022 @cupcake-spice13 @sarahmaystock5578 @rachi-roo @mochigiggle @chibisstuff @imjusthere07 @sevenincubistolemyheart @riisada @sp1racle @teddyswriting

Shigaraki was on his last nerve.

Dabi was also on his last nerve, doing a little tap dance and thinning it further.

“Gah! Would you cut that OUT?” The pale haired villain snapped when he felt fingers in his ribs, sending shivers up his spine and his phone flying. “Dabi!”

The older man snickered and ran, flying around the corner and out of sight. Things have been rather slow as of late for the League; no new commands came in- forcing the league to “lay low” for a while. 

Shigaraki hated it at first; he never liked having time on his hands. Eventually though, he learned to enjoy it; taking the time to indulge in his small but mighty mobile game collection. Things were..rather nice.

And then Dabi decided peace was never an option for Shigaraki and made him hate time off once more.

“Why that son of a-” His curse filled grumbles faded some as he reached beneath the bar, grabbing his phone. “I’d kill him if I could!”

“Oo, fun! I’ll hide the body.” A new voice startled him so bad he dropped his phone again. Shigaraki twisted to glare daggers as the smirking birdman before him. “It’ll be the perfect crime!”

“What do you want, outsider?”

“Ouch. And after all this time being here with the league.” Hawks put on a pout, rubbing at his chest. His eyes were dancing with laughter though- indicating his true feelings. “I really thought we were becoming a family.”

Shigaraki decided not to entertain that thought. He reached down to get his phone again, but ruby red feathers beat him to it, bringing it up and into his gloved palms. “Dabi really threw you off your game, didn’t he? I’ve never seen you so jumpy?”

“Shut your mouth. I’m not off my game- he’s just an annoying glitch.”

“One you can’t live without?”

“Says the man who’s getting fu-”

“You wanna get him back?” Hawks cut in quickly, leaning in like hermes to Odysseus. Too close- Shigaraki found himself leaning back some in his stool. “He’s been rather annoying to you lately, no? I’m sure your thinking: “What can I do to make him submit to me?”; lucky for you- I know exactly what to do!”

Suspicious, yet intriguing. Shigaraki narrowed his eyes at him in thought. “Why are you telling me this?”

Hawks shrugged, his playful smile never dropping. “I’m feeling generous today. Can’t a guy rat out his boyfriend’s quirks every once and awhile?” He gestured Shigaraki over some, cupping his ear as he whispered.

Shigaraki went from bored to surprised to intrigued. He looked at Hawks when the other pulled back, blinking. “You're kidding.”

Hawks only smiled like the sun as he sashayed off. Before he left completely, he looked back one last time. “By the way- my information doesn’t come free. I’m sure you understand.”

There it was. Shigaraki kept his expression neutral as he reached into his pocket, pulling out a few yen. Feathers gathered it up and brought it to Hawks, the birdman pleased. “This stays between us.”

“Wouldn’t have it any other way.”

~~~

Sitting on the couch now, Shigaraki tapped away at his phone in wait. The trap was set- the plan was perfect. It all came down to timing. He knew his target would be passing through here soon.

Sure enough, he heard the familiar steps of Dabi’s boots as they entered the room, the smell of firewood mixed with smoke touching his nose. He didn’t react- pretending to be completely absorbed in his game. He just had to hang in there.

“Shigaraki~” Dabi called out in a hushed voice, his footsteps getting closer and closer. He waited until those scarred up hands were inches from his waist before he attacked.

“SHIT!” Dabi yelped as he got dragged down over the couch, thrown into an unexpected wrestling match. Thankfully, Shigaraki was wearing his artist gloves, the risk of accidental dusting gone from their minds. Still- that didn’t mean Shigaraki didn’t have the upper hand.

“You son of a-hold still!” Dabi growled as he battled for the top, sputtering when the little bastard threw one of his disembodied hands at him. “Not cool- you can’t just go and throw your dirty mitts at me-”

“Gotcha!” Shigaraki cried as he pinned him, taking advantage of his momentary disgust. “Dirty, huh? I’ll have you know they’re clean and preserved!” He picked up the one he threw, bringing it to Dabi’s pinned wrists. With an unexpected click, he had bound both of the brunette’s wrists together. “Not to mention modified.”

Dabi blinked, flabbergasted. Did this guy really make them restraints? He gave an experimental tug, finding them rather weak. If he wanted to, he could easily break it. Burn it even.

But that would end in all kinds of problems Dabi had zero interest in dealing with. Not to mention Shigaraki looked so proud of his little trap. He might as well sit back and see where this would go. “Oh yeah- you got me good, Shigs. Though if you wanted me tied up, you could have just asked.” He wagged his brows, laughing at the scrunched up expression Shigaraki made in response.

“Gross. I almost regret wasting these on you.” Sitting back on Dabi’s hips, the dust-quirked villain scanned his torso, deciding on where to even start. “Say, Dabi- are you ticklish?”

Dabi’s grin froze, eyes widening some. The parts of his face that were still healthy tinted a rare shade of pink. Shigaraki grinned at this.

Oh damn.

“Shigs, I don’t know who you talked to-” Dabi began, sucking in a breath when Shigaraki’s fingers poked beneath his shirt, right along healthy skin. “Fuck that- I know exactly who you talked to and I’m telling you now, he’s a lying son of a bitch!”

“You’re shaking like a leaf, Dabi. I think he’s telling the truth.” The duster snickered as he curled his fingers, eager to see what would happen. Dabi flinched hard, arms tensing at the hand bounding his wrists as he gritted his teeth.

“Shi-hihigs..”

“Was that a laugh I just heard?”

Dabi tried. He gritted his teeth so hard he was sure he’d bite his tongue. He turned his head away at the devious touches against his skin, flinching and squirming at each ticklish trace. He squeezed his eyes shut in hopes that the feeling would fade and he’d be immune.

Alas- he was cursed with stupidly sensitive Todoroki genetics that always seemed to come alive with tickling.

“Fuhuhuhuhuck!” Dabi yelled out as Shigaraki began to scratch, focusing all his efforts onto the patch of skin around his stomach that always made him scream as a child. “Shihihihihihihit! Fuhuhuhuck you, yohoohohohu dhahahahmn, duhuhuhust buhuhuhunny! Ahehahahahahahhaha gahahhahhahd!”

“Dust bunny? Please- like you’ve got any room to talk, matches.” Shigaraki laughed with him, the sound snickery and stupid and full of joy that was unfairly contagious. He carried on scratching at his belly while his other hand pushed up Dabi’s shirt, eager to find more spots to tickle. “Say, are you only ticklish here? What about here?”

“Gheahaha, dhohohon’t you dahahAHAHHARE!” Dabi all but arched when his ribs were attacked, Shigaraki working along healthy skin and tracing where it met the scar tissue. “DOOHOOHN’T FUUUHUHUCKING DOHOHOHO THAHHAHT!”

“Does it tickle that bad?” Shigaraki asked, delighting in the high pitched squeals Dabi let out. He never heard his voice get that high before- it was always so mellow; even when he was mad. “Wow. It’s a good thing you’re not easy to capture- they just have to tickle you and you’d be snitching.”

“LIHIHIKE I’D EHEHHEHEVER DO THAHAHHT! AHEHAHAHHA COOHOHME ON, DUUHUHUHUHSTY MOOHOOHHOVE!” Dabi cackled out, kicking at the couch when Shigaraki began drawing patterns into the strip of skin leading from his upper ribs to his good shoulder. “STHAHAHAP IT’S THEHEHHEHRRIBLE!”

“Boo- and here I was planning out my route for the next big egg hunt.” Shigaraki tsked as he brought his hands back to Dabi’s hips, pressing his thumbs in and making him shoot up. “I can’t let that Abigail woman beat me again. That sunhat belongs to me!”

“Ahehahahahahah! Gheahhahahaha, whhhahahahat ahahhahare you eehheheven- Hiihihihihineahhahhaha, nehehehvermind, quihihihiht ihihihihit!” Dabi swatted at him with his bound wrists, hoping that lightly beating them against Shigaraki would loosen their hold. 

It did not.

“Oh, what's this?” Shigaraki grabbed them and pinned them with ease, shoving Dabi back against the couch while his other hand carried on tickling. “Trying to knock me out with my own hand-trap? Please- I expected more from you, matches.” He gave the other man a pause, watching Dabi’s chest heave as he gasped for air. “I’ll release you, but first you have to promise me you’ll stop being so annoying.”

“Whahahaat? Nohohoho way…heheheeeeh..I’m so bohohohored.” Dabi grinned, digging his grave deeper. “Yoohohu’re funny to mehehess with. You screheham like a schoolgirl when I tickle you.”

Shigaraki fumed, inhaling through his nose dramatically. He stared down a smug Dabi as he reached into his pocket, pulling out his ultimate weapon. Dabi seemed to falter beneath its ruby gleam.

“Shigs, wait- Wait hold on! I didn’t mean it! I didn’t mean it-EHHEHEHEHEHEHAHHAHAHA!” Dabi all but shrieked at the touch. It was just a single red feather, one from Hawk’s wings to be exact. Such a tool would be useless against him normally.

Shove it in his good armpit after he’s already been tickled however and you’ve basically won.

“Are you gonna behave?” Shigaraki growled as Dabi thrashed and guffawed, straining in Shigaraki’s hold. “Are you gonna leave me alone?”

“FIHIIHHINE FIHIHIHINE! SHIHIIHIT SHIHIHIGS STHAHAHAHP!”

“Promise me!”

“I PROHOHOHOMISE!”

“Louder!”

“I PROHOHOMISE! I PROHOHOHOMISE PLEHAHAHAHSE!”

“Hmm…” Shigaraki hummed, giving Dabi one last tickle beneath the arms before pulling his tool back. Dabi gasped for air, wheezing through residue giggles as he melted into the couch. The hand bounding his wrists was removed, and he tucked them beneath his own arms tightly to prevent any more ambushes. “I guess I’ve got you good enough. You can have this back, outsider.”

Whether Hawks was nearby or not, Dabi didn’t know. He watched through blurry eyes as the feather floated in the air, swirling around Shigaraki’s neck before whooshing out of the room. The duster winced and ducked down, rubbing at the skin with a small curse. “Bastard.”

“Pfft- gotcha too, huhuhuh?” Dabi laughed at that, his nerves finally easing as he got comfortable against the cushions. “That’s what you get.”

“Shush.” Shigaraki flicked his nose before sitting back, moving from Dabi’s hips to an actual cushion as he watched the brunette groan. “Why are you being so annoying anyway? Aren’t you the type to disappear when there’s nothing to do?”

His tone was defensive, but the question was genuine. Dabi considered his words as he stretched. “Yeah- usually. I guess I just didn’t feel like it this time.”

“So your solution was to annoy me?” Shigaraki glared. Dabi shrugged, unfazed.

“Yeah, you could say that. You seemed stressed lately. I figured you’d feel better having someone here.” The words made the leader freeze, eyes wide. “What? Can’t a guy care about his buddy from time to time?”

Coming from Dabi, yeah. Shigaraki almost said so but withheld. “Why though?”

The brunette tsked, sitting up and folding his arms across his chest, feet up against the coffee table. “Why does there have to be a reason? When I joined the league, I became your teammate. After some time, I guess I started seeing you as a friend..” His cheeks pinked again as he looked away, suddenly unsure. “I know it’s stupid- we’re all wanted criminals that can die at any given moment. Getting close and all that bullshit is a terrible idea. I just…don’t like seeing you upset.” He looked away completely, his back to Shigaraki as he scratched at his neck. “This is ridiculous. I’ve been hanging around that damn bird too much- he’s making me feel things.”

Shigaraki couldn’t speak- he didn’t have the words. He just stared at him, a nostalgic feeling he couldn’t quite place creeping up his gut and spreading through his chest. He looked at his hands, finding them trembling. He squeezed them shut tightly.

“You’ve got no reason to worry about me like that. I’m your team lead.” He forced the words out, cold and direct. Dabi seemed to relax at them, the usual way Shigaraki spoke. “If I’m upset or stressed, that’s my issue to deal with.”

“Of course.”

“You’re not my personal therapist. I don’t need you to manage my emotions.”

“Got it.”

“But…” Shigaraki paused, not looking at him but rather at the empty space before them. “I don’t mind you considering me a friend. It’s…nice, to know the feeling is mutual.”

Dabi stared, but he didn’t look back. He got up and quickly left the room, pulling out his cracked phone and pulling up his game. It was only when he got far enough away that he let himself smile.

So he had friends here after all.

Thanks for reading!

[autistic-cat-with-a-book]

Hello there. I have written a story, which I am now sharing with the keepblr fandom. Enjoy it. Please. (It's a slightly alternate ending for Neverseen, if you were curious.) Tagging @permanently-stressed because I've been torturing her with crumbs of this for the whole week, so it's only fitting she gets tagged.

okay bye

Sophie was about to step into the shimmering beam of her pathfinder when she noticed the small yellow crystal in Keefe’s hand. She barely hesitated before grabbing his shoulders and letting the light carry both of them away.

“WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!” Keefe shouted as they reappeared by a lake the color of blood. Tall, foggy mountains surrounded the area, and the whole place gave Sophie the creeps. Nothing good could come of this.

“I could ask you the same thing!” She snapped. “Why are you leaping–illegally– to the Forbidden Cities? Are you seriously going to try to break into an ogre prison?” 

Keefe turned away. “Go home, Sophie.”

“Not unless you explain what’s going on here!”

Keefe opened his mouth to say something but was cut off by three flashes of light. Three dark cloaks with a white eye symbol on the sleeve.

The Neverseen were here.

“Keefe,” Sophie started as the figures slowly walked towards them, “What did you do? What did you do?”

“I…” his voice trailed off.

“How are we going to escape this?” She hissed.

“Simple answer,” said the first figure, throwing back his hood. “You don’t.”

With growing horror, Sophie found the name the voice belonged to. Fintan was here. So were Brant and Alvar. They were trapped.

Fintan held up his hands, a smile spreading across his thin lips. “My, my, Keefe. You’ve really outdone yourself. Sophie is such an excellent addition to our bargain.” His eyes narrowed as he said that last part and a chill went up Sophie’s spine.

What bargain is he talking about? Sophie transmitted.

“She is not part of this deal. Let. Her. Go,” Keefe said, ignoring Sophie’s question.

“Tsk, tsk. If only we could. But now that she’s here, I’d be so sad to see her go,” Fintan said, glee dripping from every word. A small flame flickered to life in Brant’s hand, and Keefe shrank back.

“If you hurt her, I won’t give you the cache!” Sophie heard this but didn’t have time to react before strong invisible arms wrapped around her neck in a chokehold. 

“Keefe,” she gasped hoarsely, “What are you talking about?”

But she has a sinking feeling in her stomach. There are better, safer ways to rescue your mom. You don’t have to trade the cache for this. Please, Keefe. A tear rolled silently down her cheek.

This is the only way, Foster. You wouldn’t be here if you had just gone home!

You know I couldn’t do that.

Fintan ordered Keefe to get the cache, and Sophie watched as Keefe quietly said, “Two twenty-one B Baker Street,” shock and betrayal coursing through her veins.

The cache popped into Keefe's hand, and Alvar immediately grabbed it, tucking it into a concealed pocket on his robe.

How could you? Sophie’s mental question was more sad than angry, but Keefe still didn’t respond.

“Miss Foster, I assume you and Mr. Sencen are communicating telepathically. Much fun as it is to watch you silently struggle, this would go a lot quicker if you would both listen to the terms at hand.” Fintan said, gesturing to Brant.

The scarred elf stepped closer, the heat of the Everblaze in his hand making Sophie sweat. “All you have to do,” he said to Keefe, grabbing Sophie’s monocle pendant and holding it in his fire, “is take this pretty little swan and brand your moonlark. If you do that, we’ll let her go free and you come with us.”

“If not,” Alvar interrupted, “Fintan will start giving Sophie some very painful scars.”

Keefe’s face crumpled and he transmitted, I’m so sorry. I know you’re going to hate me now.

I could never hate you,  she assured him, although she grew less and less sure of that as he took the pendant and stepped up to Sophie.

His ice-blue eyes were glassy with unshed tears, and Sophie tried one last time. “Please, Keefe. Why are you doing this?”

“Last night…I got more memories back,” he whispered. 

“I still don’t understand why you would join them,” she said. Alvar was nearly choking her, and she was getting very lightheaded. 

“You were raised to be the hero. I was raised to be something…else.” He brushed his hand over her necklace. “I wanted you to have this, in case someday–”

“Heartwarming as this is,” Fintan cut in, “We’re running out of time. And patience.” The last word had a deadly undertone and the tears in Keefe’s eyes spilled over as he raised the pendant to Sophie’s face. It was glowing red from the Everblaze. Sophie didn’t want to imagine how much pain it would cause.

But she didn’t have to imagine. 

All of a sudden, Keefe squeezed his eyes closed and pressed the red-hot swan against the side of Sophie’s neck. She screamed, thrashing in Alvar’s arms, but he held her tight. Bright white pain exploded behind her eyes, and she wanted it to take her far, far away.

 To a place where she wouldn’t have to deal with the Neverseen, or the Black Swan, or Keefe.

The white light promised rest.

Calm.

Peace.

But all too soon, she was ripped back to reality. Sophie could feel blisters bubbling up on her skin, and when she opened her eyes, Keefe had dropped the pendant. Smoke was rising from it, and her mind shied away from picturing what her neck looked like. 

Brant still had a sphere of Everblaze floating above his palm, the flames crackling ominously. 

“Okay,” Keefe said, his voice shaky, “I did what you asked. You have the cache. Now please, let Sophie go home.” 

“Oh, did we say anything about letting her go home?” Fintan asked the others with a laugh. “Mr. Sencen, we merely said we would free her. We never specified where she would be released.”

In one fluid motion, Alvar let go of Sophie, pulled out his Pathfinder, and said, “Have fun, you four!” Then raised the crystal to the setting sun and stepped into the beam of light.

While that was happening, Fintan had summoned a ring of fire around himself, Brant, Keefe, and Sophie, and the flames were taller than she was. 

No escape.

It was hard to think through the searing pain, but she was able to stay standing. Keefe held her shoulders and yelled, “You promised!” at the ancient Pyrokinetic.

“Come on,” Fintan scoffed, “Surely you’ve known us long enough to know that we don’t play fair.” With that, Fintan pulled Keefe away from Sophie and Brant took a small cloth out of his cloak. Sophie could smell the stench of the sedative, and she tried to run, but there was nowhere to go. Brant grinned as he pressed the fabric over her nose and mouth, flooding her brain with the sickeningly sweet smell. 

The last thing she saw was Keefe’s anguished face, and his thoughts whispering, It’s for the best, as he and the two pyrokinetics lept away.

Then she collapsed as the ring of fire grew even taller around her.

Heat. So much heat. Her neck, her arms, her back. They were all so, so hot.

 Sophie peeled her eyes open, coughing on the smoke and ash. She managed to sit up on the gritty sand, noting that she wasn’t actually on fire. But the Everblaze was raging all around her, making its way to the mountains in the distance. She guessed that a few hours had passed since–

Nope. She was not going to think about Keefe. Sophie cautiously reached up to feel her neck, then winced as she brushed her fingers over the blisters. That was going to be a permanent scar. 

“Help,” she croaked, pushing herself off of the ground. The lake was nearby, promising cool water, but she didn’t trust the bloodred color. “Help,” she repeated, louder this time. Her throat scratched and her muscles ached and her mouth tasted all kinds of disgusting, but that didn’t stop her. 

Anything, anyone, would be a welcome presence. With the moon high in the sky and the smoke billowing through the air, the whole place was even creepier than it was in the daytime, which was saying a lot. 

She crawled to where Keefe had been standing and noticed… what was that?

Sophie picked up a small glittering bead, noting the way it shimmered in the moonlight. Was this a leaping crystal? Why had he left it–oh. It must have been for her, in case she followed him here. 

Sophie let out a bark of laughter. This would have been useful a few hours ago before she got the sign of the swan branded on her neck. But…what if it wasn’t from Keefe? Maybe it led to a trap. The Neverseen could have left it here, hoping she’d leap right into one of their hideouts. But then why wouldn’t they just take her along with Keefe?

She brought the bead closer, looking for a clue. It seemed pretty ordinary, just an orb of shimmery compacted powder, but there– she saw a tiny, tiny K painted on the side. 

It was from Keefe. Wow. He really thought of everything. 

She held the tiny crystal up to the moonlight, hoping hoping hoping that it would work. A weak beam of light appeared, and Sophie nearly cried in relief. She stepped into the path, concentrating on the warm feathery rush of the leap as her body dissolved. 

She re-formed at the entrance to Havenfield.

Home, home, safe, safe! Her mind cheered. She limped up to her house, every muscle aching. Edaline and Grady were sitting on the enormous couch, and they both leaped up when she pushed the massive doors open. Edaline rushed to give Sophie a hug while Grady said, “What happened to you?”

“I…” her voice trailed off, a lump forming in her throat. “The Neverseen,” she whispered, gently removing herself from her adoptive mom’s embrace. 

“Oh, Sophie,” Edaline said, running a hand over Sophie’s cuts and bruises. She avoided the burn on her nack, and Sophie was hit with a rush of affection for her mom. 

Grady rushed to their extensive medicine cabinet, grabbing an armful of elixirs and balms. Soon enough, Sophie was lying on her bed, and Elwin –in his fuzzy T-rex pajamas– was treating all of her injuries. He thankfully didn’t ask too many questions, instead letting her relax and calm down from the day’s events. 

After Elwin left, Grady and Edaline brought up a cool cloth for her neck and a small vial of shimmery liquid. “It’s somnalene,” Edaline explained. “It’ll help you sleep. You need it.”

“It’s not a sedative, right?” Sophie asked.

“No, kiddo. These are like sparkly eye drops that make you feel very peaceful,” Grady explained, filling the eyedropper and positioning it over Sophie’s eye. 

“You sure you’re okay with this?” Edaline asked, concern clearly written all over her expression.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine, Mom.”

Grady squeezed the somnalene into Sophie’s eyes, and immediately little twinkling colored lights appeared in her vision. Shortly after she settled down, her parents left, leaving her with her thoughts– and Iggy’s lawnmower-esque snore. Despite her long–long– day she was asleep in minutes.

The next morning, Sophie somehow managed to get dressed, eat breakfast, and meet with the Collective without collapsing or breaking into a fit of tears. Her neck still throbbed and her back hurt and her heart was broken, but she was going to be okay. 

She was the Moonlark. 

“So,” Mr. Forkle said with a sigh, “Let’s go through this again. Keefe took you to the Neverseen–”

“He didn’t take me, I grabbed onto him as he was leaping away,” Sophie interjected.

“Right. So then the Neverseen forced him to hand over the cache, and made him…” He looked quickly at the burn on her neck, his voice cracking.

Everyone got silent after that. After a moment, Granite continued quietly, “So Fintan, Brant, Alvar, and Keefe all light leaped away while you were sedated and surrounded by Everblaze.”

Grady and Sandor both looked like they wanted to punch something, so Sophie said, “But Keefe didn’t know that would happen! It was my fault.”

Edaline hugged Sophie, whispering, “What happened was not your fault. It never will be, so please don’t blame yourself.”

“I’ll try not to,” she whispered back. 

Sophie straightened up, clearing her throat to prepare for what she was about to say. “Do you think Keefe is….bad?”

“I think Mr. Sencen is confused, and desperate, and afraid. But I do not think he is bad, Miss Foster,” Mr. Forkle assured her. 

“So you think his guilt is making him do this.”

“Yes. He has chosen a difficult path, but I think he knows that what he is doing is incredibly reckless,” Wraith added.

“I wouldn’t be too quick to trust him,” Grady advised from the corner.

“Especially not after–that thing,” Squall said, pointing her frosty fingers at Sophie’s burn.

“What about the cache?” Sophie wondered aloud.

“We’ll deal with that later. For now, there is news I must share with you all.” Mr. Forkle said. 

Sophie's mind flashed through dozens of possibilities, but nothing could have prepared her for what Mr. Forkle said next. 

“Prentice is awake.”

[bookished]

( a collection of enemies to allies dialogue prompts. adjust phrasing as necessary.) feel free to make edits to better suit your muse, but please don’t edit or add on to the original post 🤍 if you like, please consider supporting me through tips, it's highly appreciated.

"I still don't like you, but we need to work together. Just… try not to get in my way."

"If you think this means we're friends now, you're delusional."

"I’m only helping you because I need you alive—don’t make me regret it."

"We may hate each other, but we hate them more. So, truce?"

"This doesn't mean I trust you. It just means we have the same enemy."

"You're the last person I want to rely on, but right now, you're all I've got."

"I never thought I’d be fighting alongside you. Feels weird, doesn’t it?"

"We make a surprisingly good team… let’s not talk about it."

"I still want to punch you in the face, but we have bigger problems right now."

"You think this changes anything between us? Think again. But thanks… I guess."

"Look, I don’t want to owe you anything. So let's call this even."

"Just because we’re working together doesn't mean I’ve forgotten what you did."

"I swear, once this is over, it’s back to hating each other. Deal?"

"I never thought I’d say this, but… I could use your help."

"It’s not like I had a choice—you were the only one who could pull this off."

"Don't get any ideas. This is temporary, and after we're done, it's back to being enemies."

"I don’t like you, you don’t like me. Let’s just get through this without killing each other."

"I’m only here because I need something from you. Don’t mistake this for kindness."

"Funny how the universe keeps throwing us together, huh? Almost like a sick joke."

"You’re the last person I want to see right now, but it seems I don’t have much of a choice."

"I’m starting to hate how well we work together. It’s unsettling."

"If anyone asks, this never happened. I wasn’t here, and we didn’t help each other."

"I didn’t think we’d ever be on the same side, but here we are… how does that feel?"

"I still think you're insufferable, but I suppose I could tolerate you… for now."

"This changes nothing between us. We're just two people with the same goal—for now."

"As much as I hate to admit it, I wouldn’t have survived without you back there."

"You think saving my life means I owe you? We’re still enemies, make no mistake."

"I don't want to be here any more than you do, so let’s make this quick."

"It doesn’t sit right with me, trusting you. But what choice do I have?"

"If we manage to pull this off together, you might just earn a sliver of my respect."

[cyten0]

A Symphony in Crimson

Act 1: A Movement in Black

Chapter 8

✸ “Welcome back stardust! So, how can I help you this time?”

✦ “Hm… Let’s see… So, I assume you saw the chat with the king?”

✸ “Of course! Always keeping an eye on things. That said, about the Wishcraft lead. I’m afraid I’m drawing a bit of a blank on anything besides that term.”

Ugh, just talking about it hurts your head a bit. But it’s critical information, so you endure.

✦ “Right. I guess it’s a way to… Craft wishes? But that’s about it.”

✸ “Right, so that just leaves either seeing if we can’t spark that memory somehow, or find information on it. Both seem tricky, but not impossible.”

✦ “Guess talking more with the king could help with that first angle. He wants to remember for his own reasons.”

✸ “True! Just make sure he doesn’t find out about you! Wouldn’t want him dropping your secret, now would we?”

✦ “I’ll be careful. Oh, on a side note, you mentioned something strange earlier?”

✸ “Yes! You remembered, thank you! Right. So far, you’ve looped for two reasons. Dying, or talking to the head housemaiden. But. When Odile found you. You didn’t die.”

Huh?!? Wait, their right, you didn’t!

✸ “Once is an outlier, twice is something to investigate! If death isn’t the only reason you loop, then finding out the other reason, or reasons, seems rather important, wouldn’t you agree? It’s just a theory right now though, so if you have any ideas...”

Wait, there was one other point that almost was one, you think.

✦ “When Isa confronted me, I nearly looped that way too.”

✸ “Oh! Now isn’t THAT some juicy data! Hm… Well, The Head Housemaiden doesn’t seem like she found you out, but it’s worth keeping an eye on. I’ll keep theorycrafting and see if I have any ideas. Meanwhile, feel free to help your friends! Who knows, just might do something!”

Right! Your looking forwards to that! Might as well use these loops to do something nice! You grab a meal from loop, grabbing the powerful duo from the second floor to get yourself a little extra. Stars your so hungry you devoured it in seconds and it’s not enough it’s never enough- Stop. Clear your head. Breathe. And head out.

>>>

Right! Mirabelle. She should be first, given she kinda started this whole thing. You greet her, talk for a bit, and then-

✦ “So, which will you choose?”

You point to the pile of papers, to clarify.

◉ “Wha- WHAT?!?!?!!!! HOW! WHAT DO YOU KNOW!??? ANSWER ME!!!!!”

!!!She has her hand on her rapier!!! She’s going to- QUICK!!!!!

✦ “Y-your choosing someone for something, right?! It seems important, maybe I can help?”

She pauses, and pulls her hand from her rapier. Oh thank goodness. You never thought she’d pull a sword on you unless she found you out, your glad you kept calm.

◉ “I...I guess… You most likely have more experience then I do. Alright, I’d like your help, if you’ll give it.”

Hm? Experience? Oh dear, now your worried. What if it’s something Siffrin is good at that you can’t mimic? You guess you’ll just have to improvise if it is, and hope for the best.

✦ “Sure!”

◉ “Okay, but this might take some time!! So, Um…”

✦ “Don’t worry, I have time!”

Honestly too much time… And too little… You feel your stomach ache... Ignore it, you have time. You can eat at the bathrooms later, and that will help. This is important. You take a seat next to Mira. She looks nervous. Hm… Your not good with stuff like this. Um. Maybe. Asking a question will help?

✦ “So… What are those papers?”

◉ “Oh! Um…. Their… Bonding proposals?”

!?! Wait, you remember bonding, you saw a thing about that earlier! It’s… Kinda like Marriage? Your not quite sure of the nuances of... either of those really? So, does that mean Mira’s looking for a partner?

◉ “NO WAIT THAT’S NOT EXACTLY IT PLEASE STOP LOOKING AT ME!!!! ...It’s… more like dating profiles? I-I’m not looking to be bonded just yet.”

Oh, Okay that makes more sense. Dating is still not your forte, it kinda confuses you, but it wasn’t really Siffrin’s strong suit either so your not too worried. You like the idea enough you’ve looked into it, sort of a false hope, but you should be able to help a little? Maybe? Still your a little surprised Mirabelle is interested in that. She never seemed to care before?

◉ “Okay so… Before all this started with the king… I decided I wanted to, uh, try! To date someone. So I asked a company that does that sort of thing, and they sent a bunch of profiles, for people I could date… I haven't gone through them yet, and I figured now would be a good time. Keep my mind off tomorrow. But I could use a second pair of eyes. Or just the one eye. As long as it’s not my eyes doing this alone.”

Right. Hm. You have no idea what Mirabelle is into, and she seems to be struggling as well. So, time to do testing! Just gauge her reactions, respond in ways to probe for more information, and go from there! You’ve got this Siffrin!

✦ “Alright, let’s take a look, see if we can’t figure this out.”

She pulls out a HUGE folder, and hands it to you.

◉ “Ok! Here’s a few of them, we can take turns! You can go first, and I’ll go after. So uh… Here!”

She grabs a profile of a big buff masculine figure. Plenty of muscle, probably very tast- WOW Okay you need to focus. Hm. She seems to be the same mount of nervous as before, so not a big reaction. Let’s see…

✦ “Kinda looks like Isa.”

◉ “...Ew yeah, nevermind.”

That Ew kinda boggles your mind, but oh well, she’s got her own preferences. So perhaps not into more masculine types. Hm…

✦ “Well, let’s try someone more effeminate, see if that works. What do you have?”

She shuffles some papers around and hands you a lovely gentle lady. Likely tender and- Focus. Hm…

✦ “Kinda looks like you.”

◉ “...Your right, Ew.”

Again with the Ew? You don’t have much to work with here. You might have to get a bit more blatant.

✦ “Any ideas what kind of person your into?”

◉ “Oh I don’t have a type, I love all people equally!”

✦ “...That’s… Not much to work with…”

◉ “I um… would like someone… Nice?……. And…. Pretty?…….and….. Who… likes me?”

✦ “……. Mira.”

◉ “Nononono let me think a bit more!!!…. I…. want…. Someone who……”

She thinks for a while.

◉ “W-Well, what are you into?”

OH STARS you are NOT getting into that! You have no idea if Siffrin had any, and yours are EXTREMELY weird and messed up. Being attracted to tasty people is REALLY not okay for SO MANY REASONS, but your brain just doesn’t care, and past dating you have no idea! You’ve specifically avoided any form of dating because of it, you are not telling her that, what would she even do with-?… Wait a second.

✦ “Wait. Are you just going to copy my answers?”

◉ “I! Um!…. Okay. You got me. I… Really don’t care about dating.”

Fantastic. Well that solves that issue you guess but then...

✦ “Then why are you worrying about it?”

◉ “…… So…. Siffrin. You know the Change belief means a lot to me… It’s all about changing, becoming better, and most importantly… trying new things. It’s why the house offers so many different classes, you know?… So… I’m trying something new! Sometimes, doing that is something fulfilling, and easy, but you can’t just do that kind of stuff forever. That won’t help you change much. Sometimes you have to do things that are scary, or make you… Uncomfortable… Things you don’t want to do at all.”

… You know, when she faces the king, she’s committed to accepting the bad of life as well as the good. But. If she doesn’t like this that much, it seems unnecessary…

✦ “And… Dating is a part of that?”

◉ “Yes! Romantic love is supposed to be the biggest way to change! It’s supposed to change you, give new experiences and… And I have to, right? To be a good Housemaiden? I have to bond with them, I have to do things with them, I have to get bonded and have children and love them in this specific way and… and…”

✦ “And it’s not working…”

Like woodcarving, like crafts, like talking, like your body under your skin, like the small details of your face and body, like the gnawing hung̷̯͝er always clawi̵̻̿ng at ẙ̶͈our b̶̡͊ody̸̪͌ and mi̶̯̊n̷͓̄d…. You understand that feeling more then you’d care to admit.

◉ “...And it’s not working… I can’t, Siffrin, I just can’t! I can’t get myself to feel right about it, no matter how hard I try! I don’t want to do any of it, but I need to do this right? To change..”

...But… The idea of this being so needed for this faith… You remember the Keyknife. No. You aren’t okay with this. You don’t care if it’s what the faith said, it shouldn’t! If even Siffrin wouldn’t feel welcomed by this, then…

✦ “...Do you think the change belief is unaccepting? Of anyone?”

◉ “h-HUH?!?”

✦ “I don’t know about the romance, but I’ve never cared about doing things with people.”

Siffrin wasn’t, and right now your speaking for them. And while you aren’t good evidence, you don’t think you’d want to either, probably.

✦ “There must be a bunch of people who don’t. The change belief should accept that. Because if any part of being alive isn’t allowed then… What’s the point? That’s… Something I really like about it. That anyone, and everyone, is accepted.”

...She’s looking at you in surprise. Oh! You just realized you kinda just tried to argue faith to a housemaiden! Uh!

✦ “A-At least that’s what my thoughts are. I get it’s complicated a-and messy but…”

◉ “Y-You mean it? I… I wasn’t even sure there were others like me at all! With how much pressure gets put on us housemaidens to do that, I… The fact that someone understands at least that.”

You nod in agreement.

◉ “...But. Still, there’s pressure to change in every way you can. I mean, we have yearly festivals for showing yourself as a new person. Every Housemaiden has changed at least once. Except me. I find comfort in being myself! And we really are encouraged to change in EVERY way, from clothing to hairstyles to bodies to personalities and… and… Sometimes I wonder if the change god understands that sometimes, I’d like just just stay the same…”

...You had no idea Mira thought this way about the change belief… If only you knew what to tell her… Something stirs at the back of your mind.

✦ “...This might seem a bit… weird… to say. But someone once told me… That if everything changes, nothing really does.”

Mirabelle looks at you in confusion. Stars, it hurts your head to remember this, so much more then normal, but…

✦ “In order for a change to matter, it has to make a difference. Otherwise, it’s barely a change at all. But if everything changes, then it makes no difference how much it changes. And…”

In the end…

✦ “In the end, we are always ourselves.”

You release the memory. The pain subsides. But. You think the words were worth it. Whoever said them. Thank you.

◉ “… That… I’ve never heard that angle before. Hm… Then…”

She smiles at you.

◉ “I guess... maybe I can let some things stay. To make the parts I do change matter more. I’ll just… have to make up for it.”

✦ “I’m sure you will. Besides, Less things to change just means you can focus more on what you do! Sounds like fun.”

◉ “hehe! I guess your right!…... Siffrin, do you have… Something like this? Something that makes you happy, but also that you struggle with?”

… Humanity. It’s hard, playing this part. Putting yourself back together in the right shape. Maintaining it just right so it never looks uncanny. Figuring out what people mean when they say things. Trying to figure out their emotions. Making sure your expressing your own correctly... But every time they look at you as a friend, it’s worth the effort. Every single moment.

✦ “...Yeah. But. I’m glad I stuck with it. I wouldn’t have met you all if I didn’t.”

◉ “Oh! Do you want to talk about it?”

You can’t tell her it all but…

✦ “Just. Talking to people. It’s always been a bit tricky for me, but. I’m glad I’ve kept trying. It would have been very lonely without you all.”

◉ “Really? A bit like me too, huh. Well. I’m glad we met you too… Thank you Siffrin. Thank you, for talking to me.”

You nod, and both just kind of sit there for a half second.

◉ “Oh, wow, look how long it’s been!… You probably had other things to do, didn’t you? Don’t let me keep you any more. I could stand a little alone time, I have a lot to think about…. I’ll see you later, OK?”

You nod, and head off. Your so glad you did that. It felt nice, to get some of that off your chest… And that memory… You felt something warm from it… Your glad you got to have it, even if just for a second.

...A-Anyways, you should go help Odile next! That book seemed important to her.

>>>

It was quite a mess getting this book! You were half tempted to bite a few people on the way, for more then a few reasons. But here you are. Odile found this nice clearing to read in, which your happy about, less smells to worry about. But. She’s just looking at it while closed.

✦ “Aren’t you going to read it?”

◆ “… They said I could have it until we had to leave Dormont, so I have time, but…”

She just continues to stare at it… It clearly matters a lot to her. But it’s intimidating as well, you suppose? That must be why she’s hesitating. Hm. Time to deploy the old reliable for diffusion! Jokes! And the most reliable joke for something Odile being focused on something is...

✦ “Is it related to your research?”

◆ “… Sorry, What?”

✦ “Is the book related to your research?”

She gives you this look of contemplation…. Wait, it wouldn’t actually be, right? Not something this mundane. Hm... Well you guess it’s working so… Success?

◆ “Ah, well… I suppose I’ve kept it secret long enough. Don’t tell Isabeau, alright?”

You nod. If she’s willing to tell you now, you figure you have a pretty good idea what it is. Had your suspicion it was either highly dangerous and secretive, or….

◆ “There is no research. I’m not researching anything.”

✦ “Heh, knew it.”

◆ “Really? You figured it out?”

✦ “Kinda. A normal researcher wouldn’t be able to resist talking about it otherwise. It was either top secret, or you were making it up.”

◆ “Clever. But yes, when Isabeau suggested I was here to research something, I figured it would be easier to just play along.”

✦ “Huh, yeah, that does leave the question. If not to do research then…”

◆ “Why leave Ka Bue and travel for years? Well… I’m here in Vaugarde, to find out more about myself, I suppose… I suppose it must not be very obvious to you, but… My mother was Vauardian.”

Oh!

◆ “I’ve lived my whole life in Ka Bue. My father was Ka Buan, my mother Vaugardian. I have no idea how they met, he never told me, but all I know is she never wanted a child. She left very early on, and I never saw her again. Good riddance, as far as I’m concerned. But… she didn’t leave anything behind. Not a single thing. It was alright, my father was a good man and raised me well. Ka Bue was my home”

Nothing left huh. You understand that. Painfully well. There’s nothing to get back, no matter how hard you try. And it stings you, every single time you notice something missing.

◆ “But one day, a Vaugardian merchant came by, and I saw a book that she wouldn’t sell. A familytale. And she explained what they were. Stories of generations of family members, recorded for their decendants. And halfway through, I found out I was crying. I never knew I cared about my other side till then but. I knew. I wanted it. That connection to a history that should have been mine. But was stolen from me. And I’d never have a link to it, ever.”

✦ “Unless you chose to make one.”

You made your link to there. Carved it into your body with your own bare hands. Horded what little pieces drifted up in your wake. Held tightly to every memory you could scrounge…

Oh. She looks at you a little surprised.

◆ “I… Yes. The king took over shortly before I arrived, which made things difficult. But While traveling with you all, I got to see more and more of Vaugarde. Got to learn more about the country, the people, it’s faith… And. Half of me is from here. It should be like looking in a mirror but… I felt no connection. It feels awful. Like I should have a place here, and I don’t. My roots were cut without my consent. Like I don’t belong anywhere.”

… Not belonging anywhere… You get that… You nod at her, in understanding.

◆ “But… I found that’s okay. I’m not the only one. Vaugarde is filled with people from other lands. Sure, my features may look off in Ka Bue, but no one minds here. I’m still other, but I am accepted none the less. And have found many who are in similar positions. And I’m very grateful for that.”

She’s lucky. To be able to see that herself. You sometimes wish you could go there, but… Even thinking about trying hurts.

◆ “What about you, Siffrin? Are you learning more about yourself here? It’s alright if you’d rather not tell.”

✦ “… No. And… Yes.”

She gives you an odd look?

✦ “I don’t have ties to Vaugarde like you. But. I do have a place I’m trying to connect to. It’s just. There’s nothing left of it. Just scraps.”

◆ “Nothing left?”

✦ “The island to the North…”

She pauses for a moment, contemplating, before she stops in realization.

◆ “Ah, I see…. that… Oh Siffrin. That must be rough. I can’t even imagine…. At least I still have Ka Bue….. To have such a massive portion of you lost. With no way to recover it…”

A memory surfaces. Something that means something important here. Something you didn’t even realize has been helping you, even as it hurts your head to remember.

✦ “Someone once told me… We tell people who we are with our actions. The rest doesn’t matter in the end.”

She looks at you, surprised.

✦ “If I keep moving, It gives my history some life. What pieces I have might inform my choices, but… It’s what we do that matters the most in the end. And… Traveling through Vaugarde. I might have only learned tiny pieces about my home. Scant scraps I could dig up or barely remember. But… We’ve done so much. With each other, with others, with the very places we’ve gone. I’ve left my mark. Even if my home isn’t remembered, I might be. And in making that path, I got to rediscover myself. So in some way, in Vaugarde, in traveling, I learned more about who I am then I could have anywhere else.”

You played the part of Siffrin so long, you started to learn more about how they would act. What mattered to them. And even if sometimes the differences feel glaring, you still cherish what bits of them you’ve kept alive, even if it’s just how their memories affected your own path…

You notice she’s just looking at you. And starts to chuckle.

◆ “ I guess in a way, you came to the same conclusion I did, hm? Different route, different words, different methods. But. Yes. Where your from doesn’t determine who you are. It’s who YOU are that matters most. To be fair, It does matter, but mainly in how they’ve formed you. I might be both Ka Buan and Vaugardian, but in the end, I am myself. And that matters far more then anything else.”

You nod. Your glad Odile is who they are. You wouldn’t have it any other way.

◆ “Hehe… I feel so much lighter now.”

✦ “Glad to find that familytale, huh?”

◆ “Maybe. But more then that, I’m glad we talked... Thank you. For listening to me. And finally opening up. It’s funny, finding out how similar we are, yet how different as well. It’s nice to know you a little more. Maybe some point, I’ll help you a little finding out about your own roots.”

You nod, and smile. It felt good to talk about that. Even just a little.

◆ “… Now get out of here! I have a familytale to read before we meet up for our sleepover!”

You chuckle a little, and head off.

Okay. Time to help Bonnie!

>>>

Ok, so you got the foods right, and Bonnie brought you out of Dormont to help them. But. Why? And Why towards the castle? What do they need out here?

✿ “….Frin you… You said I could ask for anything, yeah?”

Right… Your getting more worried by the second. But. You’re sure you can handle it.

✦ “Of course! Whatever you need!”

✿ “Okay, well…. I-I need you to teach me how to fight!”

OH. Uh. Okay. That’s. Uh.

✿ “I know Dile’s gonna say I can help tomorrow, but It’ll be from far away, right? I wanna help! To actually help!!! And… for that I’m gonna need to fight! And your gonna help me!”

Stars okay you don’t know how- How are you- this is- WAIT NO their running towards a sadness!!! You start moving as fast as you can!

✿ “L-Look, I’m not scared! COME ON!!!”

Bonnie starts muttering under their breath, your still trying to close the distance!!! The sadness strikes! Before they can deal any real damage you tackle into them, and crush their throat under your bare hands!!!! BLINDING-

✦ “WHAT WE̸̺͑RE YOU THIṈ̴̎KING???̸̤̅?”

You instantly get to healing the wound, you can smell the blood in the air, it’s driving you mad, you hate hate hate hate smelling that it gives you all the worst thoughts especially from Bonnie and you are not having any of that, what were they blinding thinking-

✿ “i-i’m sorry.”

...Their shaking, and scared. You… You probably shouldn’t have yelled like that. You make sure the injury is fully healed first, so you can have a clear head.

✦ “...Sorry, I shouldn’t have yelled, but…”

Oh okay softer voice isn’t helping enough, their still shaking. Maybe…

✦ “Breathe with me?”

They nod, and you both begin to breathe, in and out. In. And. Out…. The smell of blood is gone, Bonnie doesn’t feel like a scared animal. It’s fine.

✦ “...Ok… I’m willing to teach you, but you need to not rush ahead. Otherwise I can’t keep you safe, alright?”

✿ “O-Okay. I’ll listen. Teach me.”

Alright. That’s better. Step one... there’s another sadness nearby. Hm. To properly train, You need to make it so that it feels like a real fight, but remove the danger… You have an idea. The king has some control over the sadnesses, so this should be believable, if your careful. It’s also not nearly as effective on sadnesses as it is living beings, but it should be enough to force it to pull it’s punches.

✦ “Alright. I’m going to go to that sadness over there, and use a very special craft skill. It’ll let me have a little control over it, so we can fight it safely.”

✿ “Wait you can do that?”

✦ “Yeah. It’s not as good as what the king does to them, but it’ll keep it from doing anything really bad to you. Once I’ve got it, you can come in and fight it properly, okay? I’ll still be by your side, and give advice, and if it goes wrong, I’ll be ready to take care of it. Sound good?”

Bonnie seems a little surprised, and nods in agreement. Good.

Okay. You head towards the sadness. It tries to take a swing, and you dodge to it’s side, circling behind it. You then thrust your claw into the back of it’s neck, and reach for what mimicry of a spine it has. You leave a part of you in there, as it fuses itself to the sadness’s false nervous system. You then sing in the special voice no-one can hear. And watch as the sadness starts to stumble and twitch, as the piece of you in it’s brain puppets it’s thoughts to your melody. Good.

✦ “You’re up, Bonnie!”

Bonnie, who was just staring in awe this entire time, shakes their head, and starts charging in. Meanwhile, you try and focus in on Siffrin’s memories. They were trained professionally, much like the rest of their family you think. You try and focus in on memories of their training, see if you can’t guide Bonnie, while you keep singing your song to keep the sadness from attacking before it’s time. It’s trying to fight you, but you don’t give it an inch.

✿ “O-Okay, what do I do?”

✦ “First, check it’s craft type. It’s hands are in a scissors sign, so it’s weak to rock. Looks like we got lucky, that’s a perfect matchup against you. Now. Steady your breathing. Focus. Keep your grip steady, and watch it’s movements. Keep your feet firmly planted, and make every movement count. Ready?”

They nod, and you let the sadness loose a little. It takes a swing, but Bonnie dives to the side, out of the way. It tries to take a swing as their tumbling, but you stop it dead in it’s tracks. Bonnie turns up just in time to see the shaking sadness inches away from their face.

✦ “I did say, Feet firmly planted. Step, jump, or run. You can even block, your pan’s tough enough for it. But big moves like that can leave you open. Now. Back on your feet, I’ll let it go, and this time, stay on your feet.”

Bonnie nods, still a little nervous clearly, but not nearly as bad as last time. They get up, this time they step back, just out of range of the sadnesses swing. It stumbles a bit, perfect!

✦ “Attack!”

Bonnie swings and thwacks the sadness to the side.

✦ “Good! Make use of when your enemy messes up. As you saw earlier, one bad move can leave you open, and that goes both ways!”

Okay. This takes a bit of focus and energy, but you have this down pat. You keep going, slowly easing up the control as Bonnie gets more confident, until they land the finishing blow. The sadness dissolves, your little fragment falls, but with a single note you have it dissolve too, so Bonnie doesn't notice. It leaves a bit of a bloodstain, but it’s otherwise unremarkable.

You watch as they take in the victory.

✿ “I… I DID IT!!!! I DID IT!!!”

✦”Well done, I barely had to do anything by the end of that!”

✿ “Really? You mean it?”

✦ “Of course! You’re a genuine fighter now!”

✿ “CRAB YEAH!!!!…. Um. Hey Frin? Why aren’t we allowed to touch you?”

OH! Uh. That’s…

✿ “Dile and Za and Belle said it’s cause it makes you jump, and you do jump, but I was wondering why, cause it means we’re not allowed to high five or anything.”

Ah. Right. You always get nervous when it comes to touch. Getting that close makes you worried you’ll act up, or they’ll notice something’s wrong. You wish you could feel safe like that, but you just can’t. And at this point…

✦ “I’m not used to it. I’d like it, but just. I get worried. And. Scared I’ll mess something up.”

✿ “How to you mess up touch?… Well, if your not used to it, we can do what me and Nille do!”

✦ “Nille?”

✿ “My sister! Her names Petronille, but that’s dumb so I just call her Nille. Anyways, she also jumps at touch, but if you tell her first she’s okay. She’s really cool and touch, but gets cared really easily. One time I touched her shoulder when she didn’t know I was there, and she screamed really loud! Like UGHYARGH!!!! But she told me after to let her know first so she doesn’t hurt me on accident.”

Oh! That! You get that!… That works? Huh! That… Makes sense! Why does that feel like it’d work? You can keep steady if you know it’s gonna happen, probably?

✿ “It’s also why I wear big shoes, so she knows where I am! Heheh… heh…. I don’t want to talk about my sister anymore.”

✦ “You don’t talk about her often.”

✿ “She’s frozen in time and she’s not here, so I don’t want to talk about her. She says talking about people behind their backs is bad. Also, talking about her makes me sad.”

✦ “Understood.”

They seem happy to drop the topic. You get that, you wouldn’t want to talk too long about those your missing. They’ll get Nille back, but that doesn’t make it easier.

✿ “Anyways, if you can see me, and I tell you I’m gonna touch you, then it should be fine, right?”

✦ “Yes! That should work.”

✿ “Okay then! I am going to touch you!!!!”

Bonnie pokes you in the stomach. It’s a bit strong of a poke? And even if your a little nervous at Bonnie being this close to you, it’s nice! Your being touched! Like a normal person! Yay!

✿ “Okay! Let’s fight another Sadness! I’m ready to learn more!”

Alright!… Hm… You just realized something. Bonnies fighting style isn’t very mobile. Their fast, but their pretty defensive, and their still gonna be at the backline. So…

✦ “I just realized, you might want a ranged option, since you’ll be in the back a bunch. Fighting up close is good to know in general, but you’d have to actually get up there for that to matter unless things go wrong.”

✿ “Oh. Yeah but... I don’t know any crafts like that.”

✦ “Good thing I’ve got just the tool for that.”

You pull out your old Craft Revolver. Guns aren’t well known in Vaugarde, so it’s probably an islander device, but you remember what it does! Good weapon, can stay in the backline, and doesn’t take a lot of effort from the wielder except steady hands! Besides, you weren’t using it yourself. Your much better at fighting up close.

✦ “This is a special device called a Craft Revolver! You charge up the little chambers with craft energy, and when you pull the trigger, it’ll shoot it out. You just need to focus on aiming it, and can charge it up when we aren’t fighting. Oh, and very importantly make sure this little switch is off when not in combat, and on when we are. It keeps it from firing on accident.”

✿ “WOAH. That’s cool! So I can shoot stuff with craft like Odile! That’s super cool!”

✦ “Yep! And it’s accurate even from pretty far”

You look around. Perfect! A sadness not TOO far from here.

✦ “Okay, see that sadness over there? You can stay right here, and I’ll distract it. Take your time aiming, keep it steady, hold it tight with both hands, and be prepared for the device to jump back a bit when you fire it. Take your time, and we’ll see how long it takes to get the hang of it.”

✿ “Okay!”

You head over to the sadness, and start fighting it. You don’t put any effort into your attacks, and you try to keep the sadness in place, so Bonnie can shoot it. But… Your not used to fighting out here. You’ve been fighting in the house for quite a while. And… You trip and fall over a branch. The sadness tries to go for the opening!

BANG

The sadness crumples to the ground and dissolves, a hole right through it’s core. A perfect shot! And on their first time! You turn to congratulate them when-

✿ “FRIN!!! FRIN!!! ARE YOU OKAY!?!!!”

Oh stars they have tears in their eyes! And their panicking!

✦ “Y-Yes Bonbon I’m fine! I just tripped!”

✿ “R-Really? You promise?”

You nod. Oh stars, you didn’t mean to worry them! You can tell their scared.

✿ “okay….I… you haven't called me bonbon in forever… only Za calls me that now…”

✦ “Oh uh, sorry, I don’t know if that’s okay.”

✿ “nono it’s okay you can…. You promise your okay? It just… reminded me of before…”

Before?…. Hm. Likely a sadness fight, but that’s happened a lot.

✦ “Which before are we referring? We’ve fought a lot of sadnesses.”

✿ “What? You- THE ONE THAT GOT YOUR CRABBING EYE STUPID!!!!”

Oh right. That was a little messy!

✿ “AAAAAAHHHH You stupid crabbing- See!! I told you!!! Your so crabbing stupid!!! You think it doesn’t matter!!! you keep getting hurt because of me and you don’t care!!!”

Right… You were the only one who could do anything. Bonnie was in danger. You can fix injuries like that no issue, but healing an entire eye isn’t exactly believable. So you played along, made a scar like any other notable injury they saw, and moved on. But. You guess it mattered to them.

✦ “It’s fine! It was worth it.”

✿ “It’s not fine!!! You got hurt because of me!!! And I don’t like it, you should have just let me get hurt!”

✦ “You would have died!”

✿ “It doesn’t matter!! If I had died, it would have been fi-”

✦ “NO. It would NOT. It would NEVER have been fine!!!”

You can’t believe they would say that! Never! Never in a thousand years are you going to watch someone die again!!!

✦ “STARS Bonnie, I could NEVER just leave you to die!!! What would I tell your sister? The others? MYSELF??? If I let you die I’d regret it every day of my life, always thinking about what I took from you!!! Just letting you die is no better then doing the deed myself!!!!! And I’ll take your life over a stupid blinding eye any day!!! I just…”

You look at them. Their sad. Their lost. Their alone. That guilt. You know that guilt so BLINDING well. The guilt of someone getting hurt because of you.

✦ “I know it hurts. It hurts seeing people hurt like that, because of something you did. But it’s exactly the same for what you don’t do. And if I’d let you get hurt like that, I’d be the one in your position. Hurting every time I remembered what could have been. An eye you can move past. You can manage with, eventually. But... you can’t bring back the dead, no matter how hard you try.”

You’ve tried. So very hard. Every day. Every second. Every step. But you can only settle for this.

Another memory starts to come forwards. More words from those you’ve forgotten. Those you killed. Couldn’t protect from yourself. Coming to help you even now.

✦ “Someone once told me… Ignoring those you could save is never the better choice. You’ll always regret it. So… We just have to make sure we can all protect each other.”

Bonnie looks up at you.

✦ “I’m stronger then back then. And so are you. And we can make sure it doesn’t happen again. I can protect you, and make sure nobody gets hurt. And you can help make it easier, and help protect them too. Together, Okay? So nobody is lost. So nobody is hurt. So we don’t have to regret a thing.”

✿ “...promise? Promise you won’t get hurt?”

✦ “Of course! I promise! Super Duper Promise!”

✿ “...Okay. Then… As long as you promise, it’s fine! And… I can help! I can protect!”

✦ “You certainly did a good job back there! First time and you got a perfect shot!”

✿ “Wait. I DID!! OH CRAB YEAH!!!! Yeah! I can protect people! And you can protect me! And… and we can protect everyone!!!”

You nod, and ruffle their head. You do take a quick second to check… They did! They remembered to put the safety back up after! That was the one thing you were worried about, really. And given they didn’t do it while you were talking, they must have done it right after the sadness was dead. That’s good!

✿ “hehehe! You see me right? I’m gonna touch you now!!!”

They jump at you and give you a big hug!!! You freeze, not expecting that! You don’t know how to hug right! You… Okay. You gently, and carefully, hug them back. They look up at you.

✿ “See? You do know how to hug!”

✦ “I-I guess I do!”

You smile, hug for a little longer, before you both head back to Dormont.

Just one person left!

>>>

Isa takes you to this open field. You hope whatever they have for you won’t be too much effort. You’ve spent a lot of focus today. Your tired, hungry, and still nursing a headache from all those memories you’ve been having. And with Isa, you really don’t want to have anything go wrong. But you can pull it through. Just a little longer. And then you can eat, and sleep, and recover. You can even slip out during the night for a bit if you need to. Loop can’t get proper food then but you at least wouldn’t be tempted. Just. See what Isa needs.

✦ “So, what do you need me to do?”

▲ “Huh? Oh, um… Lay down with me?”

You lay down, and he lays down with you. You look at him, confused.

▲ “And now, Look up!”

You look up.

Oh. Oh. The Stars.

Their… Their so clear. You all around. Stretching forever. It’s… You… Their so….

▲ “When you asked me what I wanted earlier, I couldn't think of anything. Had everything handled. But then I saw you helping everyone out, and I thought it seemed fun! So… I decided maybe we could just hang out!”

You… You don’t know what to say… He just… wanted to be with you? Nothing else? You…

✦ “I… And… the stars?”

▲ “Right! You often mentioned them, and I didn’t know what that word meant at first, so I took some time trying to figure it out, and someone told me eventually! And then I realized you talk about stuff like this a bunch, stars, planets, the sun, and so on. And that you’d often take time to look out at the night sky. So uh. I figured you’d like a nice place to look at them together!”

He… he did this…. For you…? You… Can’t help your tears… It’s….

▲ “Oh crab! Is it okay? I didn’t mess it up, right? I-”

✦ “Thank you.”

▲ “Huh?”

✦ “Thank you! So much. Isa. I… I don’t know what to say…”

He stops, and starts to laugh. Stars, you love it when he laughs. You started making jokes just because it made him laugh. It was the first time you realized you could be human right. And every time you hear it, it brings back that memory.

As the laughter subsides, you just start to drink in the view. He really found such a perfect stargazing place. Away from all the lights, nothing to fade away even the smallest dot. You feel them so closely now. Hear their faint melodies that you’ve always heard. The song you weave into every melody you sing.

▲ “By the way, I heard some people can see patterns in the sky. Not sure about what their called. Conste-something?”

✦ “Constellations! Their very special.”

▲ “Really? Do you know any?”

You think. It’s hard to remember any at all. But. You do know one. It was very special to Siffrin for some reason… You grab a leaf, and craft it’s pattern into it, then hand it to Isa.

✦ “Yes, this one. See if you can spot it!”

Isa takes a bit, before pointing up at the sky.

▲ “Oh! There it is! It kinda looks like a tree!”

✦ “Yep! In fact, it’s where Favor trees gain their strength from.”

▲ “Wait really?”

Your starting to unearth this memory just a bit. It hurts a little, but it’s just too interesting not to talk about!

✦ “Yes really! Those stars together like favor trees, and if you know how to call their attention, and believe in what you want strongly enough, they can help give you the extra push needed to grant your wish.”

▲ “That… huh. I suppose I have to thank them then. I’ve asked for quite a few favors.”

✦ “We repay the favor in kind, even if we don’t know it. We’re a star in the sky to them, just as they are to us. And what tiny bits of strength we don’t use can be called by them when they need it. Nothing on it’s own, but with all the stars in the sky? We’ve probably helped grant hundreds of wishes we never knew about.”

▲ “Wow… How do you know all this?”

You have to fight through a little more headache for that… Oh. So that’s what Siffrin’s field of study was. No wonder you find it so interesting!

✦ “I think I studied it a bunch when I was younger. It’s not common knowledge anymore, and I don’t remember the details. But… Once I learned even a tiny bit, I had to know all there was.”

▲ “I can see why! It’s really compelling…”

You both sit for a bit. It’s nice to remember that… You look at Isa. They glance at you a few times. Stars! You shared all that, and didn’t ask them anything!

✦ “Well, I’ve said something important about me! Your turn!”

▲ “OH!! Uh… Hm. Well, you know how I’m from Jouvente, right? Lived there my whole life, big city, way more then Dormont… Anyways, you might think it’s surprising but when I was Bonnies age, I was the nerdiest kid around. Massive smarty pants. Like, really, imagine it! Big glasses, neat braids, always knew the answers to any test or question the teacher would give, perfect grades all that. Always too shy to even make a friend on the playground.”

Hm. Now that he mentions it, you did realize he was pretty smart. What changed?

▲ “Yeah. I… Didn’t like myself. Cause I was smart, but I hated being shy. Being alone. Not even being able to ask a classmate for a pen because I was so paralyzed with fear. I would have lived the rest of my life like that. But. One day, I looked at myself in the mirror, and thought… Is this it? Is this who I want to be?… I decided I didn’t. Made a wish on a favor tree, come to think of it. That I could be a better person. That I could change. Day after, I headed to a house of change, and got started. That’s what they help you do, you know? Learn new things, do Bodycraft, practice being who you want. And when you come out, nobody will bat an eye. I threw myself into it, just like I did anything else I learned. Lifted weights, practiced my confidence, changed my body to be bigger, stronger, louder! Told myself in the mirror that ‘I’m the Coolest!’.”

So that explains it. Hearing their heartbeat like you do, you notice their far more nervous then they act. So often they feel like a rabbit, but it’s only in small moments. But it happened enough. Nobody else would notice it. You always knew there was remnants of someone else under who he is. Just like you.

▲ “...Change is destruction, you know? To bring change, you might hurt people. Might hurt yourself even. So you always have to be careful, make sure it’s worth it. So, I decided. The person I was... I made them disappear. Killed them with my own bare hands.”

✦ “...So the person you became could live. And the one from before would never come back…”

▲ “… You understand?”

… You… You shouldn’t say it. You can’t. But… But… It’s Isa. You can’t help it...

✦ “I… Promise you won’t tell a soul?”

Isa looks at you firmly, and nods. You… You trust them. Enough to...

✦ “...I… I wasn’t always a good person. One day, Someone died. If it wasn’t for me, they’d probably still be alive. I was the only one left left who would remember them. So… I took their name. Gave them a second chance. Took up everything they knew. Borrowed every piece of them I could. Learned everything they would know. To save at least part of them. And bury the one who let them die… I... still worry the old me will come back. That someone will get hurt because of me…”

▲ “Sif...”

Isa doesn’t know what to say to that for a while.

… It’s fair. Even if he only knows one kill, it’s still more then most humans would ever have. You’d get it if he judged you for it.

▲ “… Sif… I don’t know who this person was. But I hope you know. I still care about you. You might not be them, but… They kept you alive. Helped protect your old you from themselves. Your new self is like armor, shielding the old one. I still know that little shy kid from before is still in me. And their still an important part…”

A memory surfaces. Something simple, but important. It hurts again but… One more time today.

✦ “...Someone once said… Strength comes in many forms. But the strongest is from those of others. I guess we both found people to cover our weaknesses, didn’t we?”

▲ “Heheh… Guess we did…One day, I’ll balance it out, be a mixture of both. Be smart and strong. Because they both matter. Their both a part of me… I don’t know where you are but… I hope, whenever your ready, you’ll get to do that too. Because I know that every single thing about you has been worthwhile.”

You… He… You weren’t wrong, were you? At the end… He really does… He wouldn’t though, if he knew what you were. Not really. Maybe what bits peak out seem okay for now but… He has no idea… But still…

✦ “… Same here Isa. I have always been glad to know you. The way you laugh, the way you talk about things you like, the way you can make everyone around you at ease, the way you get all nervous at times when you think no one can tell. The way you notice all the little details about people’s feelings. Just…”

You don’t know what to say. You… You can’t say it.. You want him to say it… To make it real, because if you say it now, you don’t know if you’ll believe it when he does… Even if it’s just once, even if something happens and he forgets it, you need to hear him say it.

▲ “I… Sif… I… I also…”

Something catches your attention, in the corner of your eye, as does his.

✿ “AHAH! See, I told you all they’d be here!”

◆ “More like you heard Isa mumble to himself about it earlier. Nice spot, by the way.”

◉ “Hi Siffrin, Hi Isabeau! We figured you’d be here! Can we join!”

Oh! Everyone’s here! You were kinda hoping to see what he’d say, but that can wait till tomorrow.

✦ “Sure! We just finished talking.”

✿ “I brought food! So we can eat here!”

◉ “A nightly picnic!”

▲ “Oh, I can smell the Samosas!”

✿ “Here Frin! I made extra for you! As thanks!”

◉ “Siffrin sure was busy today, weren't they? Thank you!”

◆ “Yes, thank you for earlier. You’ve been a great help today.”

You feel glad to be praised! It was worth every bit of effort.

✿ “Frin taught me how to fight earlier! So I can help you out tomorrow!”

✦ “Yep! Turns out with the right tools, their a natural!”

◆ “High praise, coming from you. Consider me intrigued.”

◉ “What about you, Isabeau? Did Siffrin help you out today too?”

You both look at each other. He smiles. So do you.

▲ “Heh. Yeah. I think we both helped each other.”

… That he did. They all did. You trust them. And… and they trust you…

Your glad you did this. You know it might not last but… Your glad you did it all the same. And maybe. Just maybe… Nah, you doubt this would stop the time loops but… It’s worth trying at least.

>>>

You’re at the clocktower, getting cleaned up before bed. You make sure to clean up normally, then open up your disguise to clean the undersides, just in case. Never know for sure. You put yourself back together, then check the mirror.

Blind it. That damn horn. It’s poking out of your head again. Ugh. Why is it so hard to keep hidden? It’ll just pop out of the right side of your head if you don’t pay attention to it long enough. Stars why don’t you just-

You reach to pull it out but stop. You can’t. That stays. You promised.

...You promised? Who would you have ever made that promise to? Who would even care? But… You know you did. And… Your head hurts so BLINDING much thinking about this.

… You just push it back in. It’s fine.

Your having a harder time keeping Siffrin together. You only managed this long because you always get put back in place at the start of the loop. You don’t even know if you’ll be able to heal damage right for long. You’ll need to start getting creative… It’s fine. You can mange for now. You’ll just have to see how it turns out.

[artificial-condition]

If I didn’t have family tying me down I would be everywhere and nowhere all at once

[fakeoutbf]

.

[guardian-angle22]

I have so many gifs that I want to make and not enough hours in my day!!

[kavehater]

Do I have to start saying not that anyone would care in that super duper passive aggressive way to guilt people into caring or what

[starkidlabs]

Haha I should not have read my mums texts

[girlfictions]

something i’ve been thinking about lately is like. growing up muslim right after 9/11 is something i’d never really reflected on much because it was all i’d ever known — at 5, my friend’s mum didn’t let her invite me to her birthday party because i was the only brown girl in our class, at 12, my classmates would joke about my family being part of isis, at 16, my dad was interrogated by american airport security for hours — and it always stung and it always hurt but it was just the way things were because the western world hated muslims. but i don’t think i’ve ever fully comprehended the extent to which we were hated until now.

palestine is being turned into a mass graveyard. every single day there are new photos of the atrocities being carried out against them and videos of them pleading for help and still those who can actually intervene turn a blind eye. israel is claiming to only be targeting hamas “terrorists” while bombing a refugee camp. israeli police raided and assaulted a non-zionist jewish neighbourhood. israeli soldiers are posting tiktoks of them torturing captured palestinians. this is not a complicated issue and it never has been. ethnic cleansing is being committed right in front of us. and yet the western world leaders refuse to call for a ceasefire.

and while zionist organisations accuse pro-palestine demonstrations of anti-semitism, while zionist celebrities insist that they’re afraid to leave their mansions in los angeles, a six year old muslim boy was stabbed to death and his mother wounded in the same attack in chicago. a muslim doctor was murdered while sitting outside her apartment complex in texas. hundreds of peaceful protesters have been arrested (many of whom have been jewish). despite what zionists want you to believe, this is not a jewish/muslim conflict. i have so much love and gratitude to my brave jewish brothers and sisters all over the world who are condemning israel for their actions.

ultimately, israel have been granted impunity by the west. they have slaughtered thousands upon thousands of innocent palestinians. they have bombed hospitals and schools indiscriminately. they have used white phosphorus, violating the geneva convention. they have completely eradicated nearly 900 bloodlines. how many more need to be wiped out? how many more children need to be buried underneath the rubble? how many more doctors need to be confronted with the bodies of their own family members? how many more journalists need to detail the horrific acts of violence they are witnessing? what more can be done to the palestinian people that has not been done already?

i truly believe that palestine will be free one day. i believe the palestinian people will receive the justice they finally deserve. but what breaks my heart is how much they have suffered and will continue to suffer before they are deemed worthy of help. and it would be to all of our detriment if we ignored how much of a factor palestine being a predominantly muslim state has played into the way the world has reacted to their genocide.

[gor3sigil]

Before starting T, when I socially transitionned, I was surrounded by radical feminists who saw masculinity as gross and inherently evil, something to avoid, something to make fun of, something to destroy. The other transmascs in my friend group, sometimes, told me that they didn’t knew if they really were non-binary or if they just were scared shitless of saying “I am a man”. Because they saw this as a betrayal to their younger self who had been SAd and abused.

I saw many of my masc friends and trans men around me hate themselves, not outing themselves as men because it would imply so so much, it was like opening the Pandora Box. Even when we were just together, talking about our masculinity was always coated with bits like “I know we’re the privileged ones but…”, “I don’t want to sound like I have it bad but…”, “Women obviously have it worse, but last time…” and we were talking about terrible traumas we experienced while taking all the precautions in the world in the case the walls were a crowd of people in disguise waiting to get us if we didn’t downplay the violence we faced, or like crying and being upset and being traumatized and afraid and scared and to say it out loud would make us throw up the needles we were forced to swallow every second of every day living in our skin.

Most of us weren’t on T yet, some of us were catcalled every day and harassed in the streets or in abusive relationships nobody seemed to care to help them get out of because they were “strong enough” to do it by themselves.

I was using the gender swap face app and cried for ours when I saw my father looking back at me through the screen. The idea of transforming, of shedding into a body that would deprive me of love, tenderness, and safety, was absolutely terrifying. I knew I couldn’t stay in this body any longer because it wasn’t mine, but I also knew that if I was going to look like my dad, my brother, my abusers, it would be so much worse.

5 years later and I’m almost 2 years on T, and almost 2 months post top surgery.

I ditched my previous group of friends. I was bullied out of my local trans community. But let me tell you how free I am.

I was scared that T would break my singing voice: it made it sound more alive than ever.

I was scared that T would make me less attractive: it made me find myself hot for the first time in my life.

I was scared that T would make me gain weight: it did. But the weight I put on is not the weight I used to put on by binging and eating my body until I forgot that it even existed. It’s the weight of my body belonging to me, little by little. The wolf hunger for life.

I won’t tell you the same story I see everywhere, the one that goes “I started going to the gym 8 times a week, I put on some muscles, I started a diet and now I look like an action film actor”, in fact if you took pictures of me from 5 years ago vs now I’d just have more acne, I’d have longer hair and still look like I don’t know what to do with myself when I take selfies.

But the sparkle in my eyes, my smile, tell the whole story way better than this long ass stream of words could ever.

I want to say some things that I wish someone told me before starting medically transitionning.

It’s okay to take your time. It’s your body, it’s your journey, if you don’t feel comfortable taking full doses and want to go slow, the only voice you need to listen to is your own. Do what feels right.

If you feel overwhelmed, it’s okay to take a break, it’s okay to ask for support.

Trans people are holy. Everyone is. You didn’t lose your angel wings when you came out because you want to be masculine. You are not excluded from the joy of existence, from being proud of yourself, from being sad, from being scared, from being angry. The emotions and feelings you allowed yourself to feel while processing what you experienced when you grew up as a girl and was seen as a woman are still as valid as before. Nobody can take that from you. If someone tries to, don’t let them.

It’s perfectly normal to grieve some things you were and had before you started to transition, like your high soprano voice or even your chest. Hatching is painful. You can find comfort in things that don’t feel right, so making the decision to change can be incredibly scary and weird and you deserve to be heard and supported through this. Wanting top surgery doesn’t make the surgery less intense, less terrifying, less painful to recover from. When it becomes too much you have the right to take a break and take some deep breaths before going on.

You don’t have to have a radical, 180° change for your transition to be acceptable or valid or worthy of praise. Look at how far you’ve come already. It doesn’t have to show, you’re not made to be a spectacle, you’re human and it is your journey.

Oh, and last thing, you know when some people say “Oh this trans person has to grow out of the cringy phase where you think that you can write essays about being trans or transitionning or just their experience because it’s weird” ? If you ever hear this or see this online, remember all the people whose writing you read and, even if they were not professional writers, helped you more than any theorists did ? If you want to write, do it. It won’t be a waste. It can help people. Or it won’t, and even then, if it helped you, that’s enough.

Love every of my trans siblings, take care of yourselves. You deserve the world.

[yanderenightmare]

part one

TW: nsfw, dubcon, blackmail

fem reader

As promised, you receive the pictures in the mail while the payment is forwarded almost emmidiatly. You don’t know which makes you gawk more, the photos of you or the numbers.

You also get an email—an invitation. The photographer is asking you to dinner. Or, asking is putting it nicely—which he most certainly didn’t. It’s phrased like a notice from your boss—matter-of-factly, he’s picking you up at eight, wear something nice.

You think about declining, but then you think about your friend again and how you don’t want to cause her any trouble. A free dinner isn’t really all that bad, is it?

It’s worse, actually.

“You should have told me you didn’t have anything to wear. I would have lent you something,” is the first thing he says when you get in his car. He hadn’t opened the door for you or anything, just sat in the driver’s seat waiting.

And though your cheeks burn with embarrassment, you think you’re foolish for it. You hadn't really dressed to impress him, after all—something you might as well tell him, “Maybe I just didn’t feel like dressing up. You didn’t exactly leave a good impression last time we met, so I don’t believe I owe you anything.”

He scoffs with a grin—face turned towards the road as he starts driving. “You have a lot more bite without your friend.”

“She has too much respect for you.” You cross your arms and look out the window. 

“That’s for sure.” You hear him chuckle, but he doesn’t offer any more of a response. You’re glad to spend the rest of the drive in silence.

You feel underdressed at the restaurant. You hadn’t thought he’d take you somewhere so nice. Most of the other couples there are dressed as if for a gala, while you’re dressed as if you’re going to an office party.

He hasn’t tried too hard himself. But still, he fits in—fat watch on his wrist, kempt hair, neat shoes, dress trousers, and a silk shirt with one too many buttons undone—a nauseating skinny chain beneath the collar as well as the hint of a chest tattoo. You bet it’s one of those dumb tribal inks, probably with some mundane Japanese characters he doesn’t know the meaning of.

“Is this where you undermine all the models desperate for your recognition?” you sigh as you sit down.

“We haven't even gotten our menus, and you’re already causing a scene?” 

He’s the one who was rude the moment you got in the car. In fact, he was rude the minute you met him. “Might as well speed this along.”

He chuckles—his smile genuinely amused instead of angered the way you’d imagined—the way you’d remembered from last time when he sent girls crying. “You know, for a face like that, you have one hell of a tongue.”

He orders wine by the name with ease and swiftness before returning to what he was saying.

“I like that. Most models are dull, but not you.”

“I don’t agree. And I’m a model,” you snip, showing no interest in his flirting.

 “No? Didn’t you see the pictures?” Your attitude doesn’t seem to deter him—rather, it only seems to egg him further on. “I have them all mounted on my walls at home—you should come see.”

This makes you falter. Looking at him from across the table with rounded eyes. “On your walls?”

“Framed.” He smiles, finally having broken through—he only intends to take it further. Not that what he was saying wasn’t true. “I just couldn’t help myself. I consider it my best work.” 

The look on your face is something between disgusted and uncertain—speechless in a sense.

It makes him laugh again. “Does anything flatter you?”

The wine comes. He’s poured a glass for testing.

“Not when spoken by men like you.”

His grin grows as he swirls the liquid around, smelling it like a phony.

“That’s a shame,” he says before taking a sip. He nods to the waiter, and you’re poured a similar glass. Meanwhile, he looks at you. “I’d like to flatter you—I’d like to spoil you even. You seem like you deserve it.”

You sip your glass. “No need.”

“I’m not so sure about that. You currently work at a diner, right?”

You gaze at him from atop your glass, brows furrowing. “How do you—”

“I didn’t.” It’s a lie, of course, he’d searched you up and gone over every little detail he could find. “It’s clear from the looks of you—”

“Fuck you,” you snap, putting your glass down a bit too harshly, enough to make a little wine slip and spill.

He doesn’t mind it. “Oh, I want you to,” he says instead. “After I pay for dinner and drive you back. We can fuck right under my favorite portrait of you.”

You’re stunted by his crude words, but only for a second. “How about we skip dinner, and you go fuck yourself.” 

His smile doesn’t drop, even as you get up to leave. “Settle down, sweetheart.”

“Make me, jackass.” 

You’re on your way to go, but his next words have you halting. 

“Either you humor me, or I make sure your friend never models in the country again.”

You turn around to look at him. You don’t really know why you’re so surprised. The card he just pulled is the very reason you agreed to the dinner in the first place. But an incentive is very different from outright blackmail, and suppose you just hadn’t really believed he’d take it that far.

“It’s my impression you don’t want that,” he continues.

You sit back down. He tops your glass off.

“I could make her big, you know?” he offers while pouring for himself as well. “Really speed her career along—set her up for life. I’ll do the same for you, too, of course.” 

He swirls his wine, lifting it as if to make a toast.

“And all you gotta do is come back home with me.”

You don’t have the words.

“You won’t be disappointed,” he promises. “I’m good at it.” As if that’s your concern. “You’ll never want to fuck anyone else again.”

You hate how right he is. 

You’ve never cum sooner or harder before in your life, not with anyone else or on your own. It’s like nothing you’ve ever experienced—so good, you’re screaming—moaning out in echoes throughout his giant penthouse, bouncing off the marble floors into all unlocked rooms, creating a cacophony of your undeniable pleasure.

He’s on his knees beneath you as you lean with your back against the window overlooking the city, barely able to stand as he buries his face between your soft thighs, canting his chin up while lapping hard at your slit and clit. His hard stare set on your face and the way you throw your head back while cumming in his mouth—your hand tussled in his hair, yanking on it hard enough to make him growl.

Your legs and feet give you little support. It's his hands that keep you up as you slide further and further down the floor-to-ceiling window until you’re almost about ready to drop your weight completely.

But he’s made you come undone three times by then, and just can’t wait any longer. 

He’s spun you around before you know it, making you face the pretty lights of the city skyline—his mouth hot on the shell of your ear, “I told you so, didn’t I?”

Your breath fogs the glass with your panting—knees wobbly, only standing thanks to the thick arms he’s got supporting you, each with a tit in their hand, giving them rough squeezes as he starts pounding away at your womb—hard enough to make the city lights blend in with the stars. 

“You won’t wanna fuck anyone else again.”

♡ BNHA – Bakugou, Shigaraki, Dabi, Aizawa, Shinso, Overhaul ♡ JJK – Sukuna, Naoya, Toji ♡ HQ – Tsukishima, Kageyama, Iwaizumi, Sakusa ♡ BLLK – Reo, Rin ♡ AOT – Levi ♡ DS – Akaza, Sanemi

♡ FEM x M INSERT masterlist ♡ GN x M INSERT masterlist

[foldingfittedsheets]

I am a little creature largely made up of anxieties. There have been times in my life when it was worse. It’s currently significantly better. This story takes place at a time when it was pretty bad.

Food was a prison for me. I moved out early with very little idea of how to feed or care for myself. Every meal was a question mark. For three years I had Brendan doing most of the cooking but when things ended between us I moved in with some other friends. I suddenly had no way to feed myself again.

I was working at the sex shop and living with all my coworkers; a premise that would make sitcom writers weep. In that house, at the age of 24, I learned how to fry an egg. It was the only thing I knew how to do but by god, I mastered egg frying. I was so proud. I could now have one stress free meal a day of an egg on toast.

The problem was my roommates. Living with three other people is already tough but messes pile up alarmingly fast, especially in the kitchen. No one sees the whole mess as their responsibility but the one person who’s responsibility it absolutely wasn’t was mine, as I only ever cooked eggs. Glaciers moved quicker than the dishes got done, mountains of greasy unwashed dish ware were fixtures across the counters.

My friends occasionally cooked for me and each time I happily cleaned all the resulting dishes. This seemed fair.

But on my own I only used three implements for my egg. When I finished with my spatula, pan, and plate, I carefully washed them and set them to dry. Every time I came back to the kitchen there was nothing clean.

Crusted on ketchup, dried food, and unsavory residues plagued everything I needed to touch. So I ended up doing all the dishes twice, once to use my three implements and again once I was done.

I started to realize I’d come home, see the filthy pile of dishes, then go to bed without eating because I didn’t have the energy to wash it all. So I finally addressed my roommates about it. Please, I beseeched them, can these three things always be clean. I cannot function like this, and eating is already hard for me.

The answer returned: no. My request was deemed unreasonable and a counteroffer was made to turn off the small space heater I ran in my room in exchange for them magnanimously cleaning up after themselves. I declined, as my bones ached with cold everywhere except my room since no one else wanted the heat on. The impasse continued. I went to be hungry.

I noodled on it. I schemed. I plotted. And on my day off I went to a thrift shop and acquired a nice little pan and spatula. I squirreled them away into my closet. The plan was just to wash and dry it after meals and keep it in my room.

This is not how it went down. On day one of my pan coming home one of my roommates popped into my room to chat, glanced into my three quarters shut closet and immediately said, “What is that?”

I sighed and admitted my plan. All three roommates roundly condemned my plan as extremely passive aggressive. I tried once again to explain that I wasn’t eating, but my secret pan was now a source of contention, a precious resource held back from the collective.

Their discontent reached a fever pitch and I finally declared, “Fine! I will put my pan in the kitchen. On one condition. If I ever find this pan dirty, ever, I will scrape whatever is left on it into your bedding. I swear to god, if I ever come home to it being dirty there will be a reckoning.”

Terms were agreed.

The first month or two went okay. On the third month I awoke to eat breakfast and found my precious pan sullied. I grabbed it and marched upstairs. Betty was named as the culprit. I strode into Betty’s room and stood over her sleeping form like the vengeful ghost of dishes past.

“If you don’t get up and clean this right now I’m going to dump it on your bed.”

Betty groggily regarded me. “Seriously?”

“I have never been more serious.”

“It’s one time, can’t you just clean it yourself?”

“No. You promised.”

With much huffing and grousing Betty arose from bed and tromped downstairs, hastily cleaning my pan while I watched. “Happy?” She demanded.

I was. I made my egg, cheerfully cleaning the pan afterward, leaving it to dry.

[silentheiss]

It starts with Shang Qinghua, as many unpleasant things do.

“Come on, Cucumber-bro,” He whines, lying on Shen Qingqiu’s floor and eating Shen Qingqiu’s snacks. “Do you have to go? You promised you’d read my draft, remember?”

“I do.” Shen Qingqiu says. “And I will. Later. I promised I’d help Binghe with his hair before he has to leave for his trip today.”

“You gotta get all the way back to the demon realm just to do his hair before he leaves again?”

“Yes.”

“Aw, bro. I’m sorry.”

Shen Qingqiu snaps his fan shut. He doesn’t like his tone.

“Why?”

“What?” Shang Qinghua blinks up at him from his position on the floor.

“Why are you sorry?” Shen Qingqiu repeats, slowly.

“Well, because you have to interrupt your evening to placate my clingy son?”

Shen Qingqiu isn’t sure what exactly about Airplane’s wording bothers him so much, but he doesn’t let it stop his ire.

“You think I prefer your company to my husband’s?” He hisses. Shang Qinghua sits up abruptly.

“Oh, shit, bro.” He mumbles, sounding apologetic. “I didn’t mean it like that. I know you love him and all.”

Does he? Not that Shen Qingqiu cares, of course, but- does he?

“Do you?”

“Yeah, it was hard to miss with all the rage comments and well, uh. Suicides?” Shang Qinghua laughs awkwardly and Shen Qingqiu opens his fan once again. “It’s just that I get that it must be hard for you to put up with his quirks sometimes?”

What quirks! Shen Qingqiu grips his fan tighter. Sure, Binghe can get a bit sticky and is prone to crying, but what’s so quirky about it? And who’s talking! As if Mobei-jun is a completely normal choice of a partner. Shen Qingqiu scoffs and moves to stand up.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He snaps. “Binghe’s perfectly normal. I enjoy spending time with him.”

“Of course you do.” Shang Qinghua nods hurriedly, also scrambling up to his feet. “Don’t be mad, Cucumber-bro. I didn’t mean to offend you!”

Shen Qingqiu know that. He didn’t mean to offend him, no. He meant to commiserate. Because, apparently, he thinks Shen Qingqiu must be tired of Luo Binghe.

“I’m leaving.” He says and promptly turns around and walks out of his own house. Binghe wouldn’t like it that he left his martial uncle in bamboo house unsupervised, but it’s either that or beating Shang Qinghua and Shen Qingqiu hasn’t yet formulated a reason inside his buzzing and spluttering mind for why he needs to do that.

Shen Qingqiu is still trying to understand what exactly about the conversation with Shang Qinghua addles him so much as he walks towards the designated meeting spot. Luo Binghe should be there soon to pick him up and take them both to the underground palace. When they last talked – just that night, in a shared dream – Luo Binghe asked if he could visit Shen Qingqiu in their bamboo house as he has some free time before he has to continue on his business, but Shen Qingqiu wanted to be alone with his husband for the short time that they would have, and he’s rarely left alone while on Qing Jing Peak.

“Shizun!” He hears, as almost reaches the stairs. He slows down, allowing Ning YingYing to catch up to him, but doesn’t stop completely. Binghe might already be waiting.

“What is it, YinYing?” He asks, smiling indulgently at his disciple.

“Why is Shizun leaving?” Ning YingYing pouts. “Didn’t he say that he’ll stay for a few days more?”

“Your Shizun will be back shortly.” Shen Qingqiu rolls his eyes, but his smile is still present. See, Airplane-bro? All his disciples are sticky! Luo Binghe is not worse than anyone else. Well, if only just a little. “This Shizun just has a meeting with your shidi.”

“Ah, A-Luo is back? When will this one get to see him?”

“Luo Binghe is very busy, so he won’t be coming to Qing Jing Peak just yet.” Shen Qingqiu says, stopping at the top of the stairs and looking downward. Binghe isn’t there yet.

“So he’s stealing Shizun all to himself?” Ning YingYing pouts again, but this time her eyes are sparkling with amusement. “Isn’t A-Luo the sweetest?”

And then it dawns on Shen Qingqiu. He quickly sends Ning YingYing back and starts his trip down the stairs, lost in thought. He’s taking Shizun all to himself. You have to interrupt your evening to placate my clingy son. They say it as if it wasn’t Shen Qingqiu who insisted on meeting somewhere else, so they could be alone. As if he didn’t insist on being interrupted whenever Luo Binghe had a minute to spare during his trip.

Because even if they know that Shen Qingqiu cares for Luo Binghe, they are certain that Luo Binghe cares for him more. More to the point of being annoying, even?

Shen Qingqiu sees red. He’s furious with Airplane, of course, because he started it, but most of all he’s furious at himself. Sure, he isn’t as shameless as his husband to declare his love left and right, but did he really let his cold and aloof facade lead people to believe that he is not madly in love with his husband?

Did he lead Luo Binghe to believe that, too?

Shen Qingqiu doesn’t notice the stairs end and almost stumbles, when his foot meets the ground sooner than he anticipated. A strong arm catches him around the waist.

“Shizun.” His husband breathes out and draws him closer, hugging him as if they’ve been apart for months instead of days. Shen Qingqiu is frozen in his arms.

That’s it, isn’t it? Luo Binghe never hesitates to show his feelings. But Shen Qingqiu’s thin face is not an indicator that he loves his husband less! It’s just that-

“Shizun?” Luo Binghe leans away, arms still circling his waist. His brow is furrowed, just a bit. Starry eyes are already watering from Shen Qingqiu's lack of response. How on earth could someone not love this man with their whole heart?

“Binghe.” Shen Qingqiu says, unable to hold the question back a moment longer. “Do you think you love me more than I love you?”

Luo Binghe’s arms drop. He takes a stumbling step back. His perfect, beautiful face freezes completely, not showing a single emotion. A second later tears start rolling down his cheeks.

“Binghe?” Shen Qingqiu takes his husband’s hand and squeezes lightly. “Are you okay?”

“Shizun said-” Binghe chokes, still looking at him without as much as blinking. “He said he loves…?”

Then, the dam breaks and Luo Binghe starts sobbing in earnest. Shit. Has he ever said the L word before? Shen Qingqiu swears on his own grave – on all of his graves – to never let the shame overtake him again.

“So, you do?” He asks, heartbroken and ashamed. He truly is an abominable husband.

“I do!” Binghe cries. “Of course I do. How can there be a love greater than my love for Shizin?”

How? Shen Qingqiu would love for Luo Binghe to see his old room right now. That’d show him how.

“What about my love, huh?” He snaps, fighting an urge to stomp his foot. “Why can’t it be greater?”

Binghe must realize his mistake. He hastily wipes his face and shakes his head.

“Of course this one knows Shizun cares for him! Shizun’s shown this one so much kindness, has been so generous, and-”

“No!” Shen Qingqiu feels his cheeks grow hot. “I don’t just care for you. I love you. I love my husband.”

Luo Binghe stares at him and doesn’t say anything for a very long time.

“Shizun?” He says, finally. “Did you happen to come across any interesting plants recently?”

Oh for fuck’s sake!

“I’m not under any influence!” Shen Qingqiu huffs.

“Do you mind if I…?”

“Go for it.”

A second later Shen Qingqiu feels the blood parasites start fretting. It’s not the most pleasant feeling, but if it’ll make his husband stop humiliating him, he’ll take it happily.

“Shizun is healthy.” Luo Binghe says dumbly. “But then why would he say that?”

“Because it’s the truth!” Shen Qingqiu cries. “Why is it so hard to believe? Why do everybody, including my own husband, keep suggesting that I don’t feel as strongly about Binghe as Binghe does about me?”

“Did Liu Qingge say something?” Luo Binghe asks, eyes narrowing.

“No!” Shen Qingqiu rolls his eyes. “But I’m sure he would, if he had a chance. Because apparently, I don’t look in love!”

Luo Binghe’s face is quite red, Shen Qingqiu notices.

“But they’ll see.” He continues. “Ang you! You’ll see too, Binghe.”

“I’ll see?”

“Yes.” Shen Qingqiu nods decidedly. He knows how to fanboy, okay? Binghe’s cooking and fretting and gift lavishing won’t stand a chance against Shen Qingqiu’s skill. “Take me home this instant. I have posters to paint.”

“Posters?”

“Now, Binghe!”

Luo Binghe squeaks and reaches for Xin Mo. Shen Qingqiu jumps through the portal before it even fully opens.

[snowball-doie]

| pairing: sub!Fem!Reader x Daddy!Dom!Jaehyun

| warnings: 18+ MDNI. Bathtub sex. Quickie. Unprotected vaginal sex. Breeding kink. Creampie. Mentions of bondage. Big dick Jae supremacy!

| wc: 2k

Sundays were reserved for relaxation. That was the rule. No work, no chores, no worrying about money or family or anything else, just focus on yourself and Jaehyun if you so chose; but he preferred if you relaxed on your own in order to prepare for the week. In the mornings, while he would let you sleep in and catch up on some much needed rest, Jaehyun would sit in the bath for hours. It didn’t matter that the water would get luke-warm. He didn’t even mind the pruning of his fingers or toes. He enjoyed dipping into the hot water and listening to some music while he reclined against the tub and let his eyes fall shut. He never had any intentions of falling asleep because he savored the calmness he got in the bathroom that he didn’t get whenever he was on stage or walking through thick crowds of fans.

When you opened the door to the bathroom, Jaehyun peeked at you with one eye which he barely opened before closing it and sinking further into the tub. “You’re supposed to be sleeping,” he told you quietly.

You nodded an agreement though he couldn’t see, then you began stripping away your pajamas. “I was just tossing and turning, so I came looking for you.” You stepped towards the tub. “Thought I’d join you if that’s okay.”

Jaehyun finally opened his eyes so that he could watch as you stepped into the tub, and he even reached out for your hips to hold you steady so that you wouldn’t accidentally slip in the water and hurt yourself. He helped you lay down on top of him. The water sloshed a bit, but Jaehyun didn’t seem to mind because he was too caught up in kissing you and wrapping his arms completely around your waist to make sure that your chest stayed pressed against his.

Part of him was surprised that you wanted to bother him on a Sunday, especially when he was in the bathtub, but he embraced every second of it with a grin against your lips that told you he had intentions other than relaxation in mind. What else was he supposed to do? You’d paraded into the bathroom with the cutest yawn, your hair a bit messy from sleeping so roughly during the night, and your pajamas… Jaehyun always had a hard time holding himself back whenever he saw you in that oversized t-shirt and a pair of black spandex— It was like you were always trying entice him, but that was why he only peeked at you with one eye because he didn’t want to overstep if that wasn’t what you wanted. But you clearly had the same intentions in mind. Neither of you were surprised when Jae began nipping at your neck to leave a hickey while you moved slightly so that you could reach for his cock that was resting against your thigh in the water.

“Gonna ride me like a good girl, princess?”

“Yes, daddy.”

“Good girl.” He grabbed a handful of your ass in order to lift you up slightly. “You need me to stretch you with my fingers first?”

You shook your head. Little did he knew “tossing and turning” was just an excuse you’d conjured up because your idea of relaxing when you woke up in an empty bed was touching yourself to the idea of Jaehyun fucking you roughly. But your fingers weren’t sufficient enough. Sure, they got you wet and close to the edge, but it just wasn’t as good as Jaehyun himself… And even though you knew the bathtub was his sacred space on Sundays, you just couldn’t help yourself. Jaehyun discovered that once you lined up the tip of his cock directly at your wet entrance.

His grin widened against your lips. “Playing with yourself this morning, were you, princess?”

You nodded, dragging his tip to your clit to help stimulate yourself a bit more and tease him so that he could get a bit harder before you’d go further.

“Bad girl.”

But you weren’t really. Sundays were a free for all when it came to play rules. You didn’t have to ask permission to touch yourself, you didn’t have to beg him for permission to cum. Jaehyun just wanted to mess with you so that the mild degradation could make your brain go dumb just for him.

“Can I?” You circled his tip around your entrance as an indication of what you wanted.

“Yes, princess.”

With a bite on your lower lip from Jaehyun, you slowly started lowering yourself down onto his girthy cock. He was big. Length aside, though he certainly had enough of that too, the size of him was always enough to stretch you in a pleasantly uncomfortable way. You gripped his waist in the water to hold yourself steady. You were trying so hard to adjust to him given the awkward position of your bodies in the tub and the fact that the water was kind of a nuisance to the self-lubricant from your body. Jaehyun was impatient, however. Relaxation Sundays aside, he wanted you— He needed you. The fact that you dared to join him in the bathtub so early in the morning was so out of the blue that he couldn’t help himself, because who knew when the next time he’d get the opportunity to have you in the tub on Sunday morning would be. So Jaehyun took control within an instant, immediately pushing you down all the way to the base of his cock, earning him a loud moan that you couldn’t hold back.

“That’s more like it,” he said teasingly.

“F-fuck…” Your legs shook against him.

“Too big?”

When you started nodding, Jaehyun bucked his hips upwards to make sure that he was really settled inside of you, and that he moved just enough to hit a different spot. You cursed again. Jaehyun’s right hand left your ass, then suddenly there was a wet grip holding your cheeks so roughly that you had no choice but to stare at him.

“Go on.”

Your body shuddered. You hadn’t adjusted yet. He was too big. You thought you were in control by being on top, you figured that he would be kind and gentle because it was a Sunday, his whole demeanor caught you too off guard to be able to obey immediately. His grasp on your ass and your face tightened. It was a silent warning. Okay, okay, fine.

With your hands on his waist still, you used that as a steady surface to push yourself upwards, feeling the way your walls were glad to be rid of his intrusion… Until you went back down. Jaehyun threw his head back against the tub.

“How’re you still so fucking tight after all this time?”

You rolled your hips to angle his cock so that it would hit new spots that made your eyes roll to the back of your head while his name fell off your tongue with a moan.

“Good girl. Take it—” He thrusted upwards again, some of the water splashing over the edge of the tub and onto the bathroom tile.

You tried your best to fuck yourself on his big cock. It was difficult, there was no denying that, but Jaehyun seemed to revel in the way you struggled because you looked so cute with your face scrunched in concentration, and your hands were holding his small waist so tightly that he wanted you to leave marks if your nails began digging in at all, but most of all he couldn’t seem to ever get over the way you panted, “Daddy, please,” with every sad, pathetic thrust that barely had him moving inside of you. He tsked his tongue. Did he really have to do all the work?

Jaehyun continued to move you at will, one hand still steady on your ass, the other on your face because he wanted to see you still take it with an embarrassed, overwhelmed blush. Oh, that’d do it for him. He threw his head back again. His hands did all the work while he focused on how tight you were. The hand cupping your face suddenly abandoned its post to work its way between your thrusting bodies, dipping back into the water so that Jaehyun could toy with your clit as an added effort to pry an orgasm out of you. The tensing of your stomach in reaction made Jaehyun moan and bite his lip. He could feel you getting tighter, as if it were possible— Wasn’t he supposed to have stretched you out by now? Maybe he’d have to start fucking you more often, and harder too, not that you would have protested the thought. His perverted thoughts were always matched by you who wanted him just as badly. Fucking every hole you had? Done. Cumming inside of you? The best thing in the whole world. Tying you up and using you for hours on end? Those were reserved for really special days, and how Jaehyun savored each one.

“Shit—” you croaked out when you rolled your hips one way and he went the other, hitting a sensitive spot deep within you. “C-close—”

“Not yet.”

You whined, digging your fingers into his waist. He bit his lip even harder.

“Hold it, princess. I’m almost there.”

But the coil was building rapidly, and you weren’t sure how much longer you could hold it, especially when Jae was torturing you by playing with your clit even faster after he prohibited you from cumming. He worked his cock in and out of you harder, leaving you little capability to move on your own, even though you were the one on top. How did he have that kind of strength and dexterity? The tub was so slick— The water was going everywhere. You blamed it on Jaehyun’s stubbornness that once he had his mind set on something, he’d be the one to see it through.

“Ah, shit, baby, I’m gonna breed your tight pussy… Fuck…”

“Jae,” you moaned.

“Gonna keep you full all day…”

You whined lovingly at the thought.

“Cum on my cock, pretty. Go on.”

A single flick of his thumb in the other direction sent you over the edge. The pulsing of your walls coupled with another thrust into you that had you fully seated on his cock again, Jaehyun moaned pathetically then came deep inside of your pussy, completing what he promised. The urge to be filled by his cock and his cum was satiated thanks to his eagerness to invite you into his bathtub relaxation time.

“Good girl,” he huffed quietly, trying to catch his breath.

You relaxed on top of his body, hands finally abandoning his waist so that you could tangle your wet fingers in his semi-dry black hair. Jaehyun left a gentle kiss on your cheek. The water felt warm again… way different from how it started; but there was a mess on the tiles that someone would have to clean up. It wouldn’t be you. So much for a relaxing Sunday morning.

When you tried to withdraw Jaehyun from your core, he pulled you back down. “I’m keeping you full, remember?” The asshole was grinning.

“Your entire body is pruning, Jae. I want to get clean.”

“In a minute. I want to relax a little longer.” He playfully nipped your chin with his teeth. “Let’s enjoy our Sunday together, princess, ‘kay?”

You settled against him again with a content hum and a vague nod before hiding your face in the crook of his neck. The bathtub really was kind of comfortable… You understood why he enjoyed it so much. Maybe you’d join him again next Sunday.

taglist: @hereisz , @zozojella , @hoekyeom , @belleastera , @beomgyusonlywife , @lopprhe , @luvonlyuno , @beidouvv , @delululi , @babyjagihoney , @l4na3s ,

[cosmicpearlz]

my love is mine, all mine

summary: a glimpse into how wonderful your relationship with jude is and how you guys complete each other.

pairing: jude bellingham x reader

~one~

“i’m jude bellingham,” you attempt to mock his deep voice, while trying to contain your laugh. jude playfully glares at you with his arms crossed against his chest.

“you’re not funny.”

“i am so. you know you wanna laugh,” you replied, smiling brightly in his face. it instantly makes him crack a soft smile but he didn’t want to give you the satisfaction of winning.

“no.”

“guys, he’s smiling! he knows i’m funny,” you poked his side while smiling even harder. the camera crew around you guys laugh at the way the two of you got distracted with poking each other and slapping the other person’s hand away.

“you guys have to stay on task. start asking the questions!”

“right right, sorry. i’m jude and that’s y/n,” you waved to the camera as jude introduced you.

“we’re here to see who loves the other person more.”

“no. try again.”

“we’re actually here to basically talk about our relationship. is that better?” jude looks at you with a smile and shakes his head.

“whatever you say m’love. do you wanna ask the first question?”

~two~

wining the match by a landslide had taken so much stress off of jude. he played the hardest he’s ever played. the fans from the opposite team giving him and his teammates an obnoxious amount of hate, only encouraged him harder. alas, he can breathe and loosen his shoulders.

jude looks across the pitch to find you with his family. his brother was the first to notice him looking and smiled at him. jude waves him over and jobe gets the hint, tapping everyone else to follow him across the pitch.

meeting in the middle, jude hugs jobe first. pulling him into a bear hug, causing the younger boy to laugh. moving on, he goes to hug his mom and dad. you stand over to the side giving them a little bit of privacy. you’ve never been the one to get in the way of his family, knowing how close they all were. not that they would’ve minded because they fully expected you and jude to get married, with how long you guys had been together. they seen you as a part of them.

“baby, why are you standing so far? c’mere,” jude pulls away from his mom and dad, immediately looking for you. he holds his arms out, prompting you to rush into his arms.

“congratulations my love. i’m so proud of you,” you whispered into his chest. jude wraps his arms tighter around you and lifts you up, loosen one arm to hook your legs around his waist. your arms find their place around his neck comfortably.

“thank you for being here.”

“i’d travel across the moon for you.”

“i’ll travel across the galaxy for you,” jude replies, while looking deeply into your eyes. you smiled and raised a hand to rest on his cheek. he leans his head further into your touch.

“must you always have to one up me?”

“yes. i would give you the world if i could.”

“luckily for you, you are my world and you’re already all mine,” your eyes gazing from his eyes to his lips. with one arm around your back and the other around one of your thighs that rested on his waist, he smirks.

“and you’re all mine,” jude leans his head closer to you, connecting your lips together. a sweet kiss that never fails to spark a burning desire within you. you pull away before the kiss can get too graphic with you guys still being in a public place.

“i love you so much.”

“i love you too darling,” jude places a quick kiss to your head and hugs your body close to him.

completely forgetting he absolutely still had the mic attached to his jersey. the private moment will be a trending topic for the next morning for sure.

~three~

“i’m ready to shake my ass on this yacht!” you jokingly said, causing jobe to make a face of disgust.

“ew i prefer you didn’t. don’t wanna see what you nasties do on your free time.”

“i prefer you do. actually, can i have a private dance?” everyone around jude groaned and walked away quickly to get on the boat. leaving the two of you to walk by yourselves.

“keep it in your pants bellingham,” you push his chest with a knowing smirk.

“i can’t. it literally has a mind of its own when it comes to you,” it was your turn to make a face mixed with disgust and disappointment.

“you are a perv. stop being nasty,” you pointed at him and walked away from him.

jude starts chasing you, knowing you wouldn’t even have the chance to go far because of his longer legs. he caught you in no time and picks you up, making you yelp in the process, along with nonstop laughter.

“you know you like my nastiness. stop pretending you don’t,” he whispered in your ear and placed a kiss on your neck.

“i do. just maybe not in front of your brother and friends,” you replied with, in between your constant giggles.

~four~

football season was finally over. real madrid winning the final cup had been a dream of jude’s and it came true. you guys took a trip back to england to visit his family and spend time with them. unfortunately, the time zone was messing with your sleep. finding yourself restless, you looked to your boyfriend and gaze over his sleeping figure.

“jude,” you poked his shoulder with a whisper. the sleeping boy didn’t move an inch.

“babe,” you shook his shoulder a little harder and jude hummed softly to you in acknowledgment. still he wasn’t fully awake.

“i can’t sleep.”

“darling it’s like three in the morning,” the roughness of his sleep voice stirred up something within you. curse your boyfriend for being so hot even when he’s half asleep.

“i know, i’m sorry. i just can’t sleep.”

jude sits up and rubs at his sleepy eyes. the moon light from the window shining on his face within the dark room.

“what do you want me to do exactly?”

“stay up with me until i fall asleep?”

the silence was loud as you guys studied each other’s faces in the dark. jude sends a small smile to you and gets fully out of bed. he holds his hand out for you to take and leads you to the kitchen. quiet footsteps pattering around the wood floors.

“let’s have some tea then.”

“okay.”

you sit on the stool by the countertop as you watched jude prepare two cups of tea. he knew exactly how you liked your tea. nothing in it but the tea bag and hot water. he thought it was weird but never mentioned it to you.

“here you go m’love,” sliding the hot tea cup to you and placing himself in the seat next to yours.

“thank you baby. i’m sorry i woke you.”

“it’s not a problem. is anything else wrong or you just really couldn’t sleep?”

“no, i just couldn’t sleep,” you pout, making the boy quietly laugh. he lifts one of your legs into his lap, rubbing the bare skin with his free hand before taking a sip of his own tea.

“well luckily i’m really good boyfriend.”

“oh really?”

“mmhm. who else would wake up at the ass crack of dawn?”

“you have a point bellingham,” you sip your tea to hide your incoming smile. “have i ever told you i love you?”

“hmm, you might have mentioned it once or twice.”

“once or twice? woah, you gotta give me more credit babe.”

“where’s the fun in that sweetheart?” you give him a dead straight look, while jude quietly laughs some more.

“i’m kidding. i love you more,” jude leans over and captures your lips in a kiss. moving to then place kisses all over your face, laughter now spreading out in you.

“not possible. i love you wayyy more.”

“ugh as if.”