#idk. am i hashtag relatable
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plutosoda · 2 months ago
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ok actually with the assignment procastination i think i figured it out . i think i need a deadline to do something that is from someone i care about/talk with bc if its a Professor that is just some guy . and i will put it off forever.
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myokk · 6 months ago
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Sebastian had a few days leave from duty so he visited Eloise😇😇
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writeouswriter · 2 years ago
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Is the problem that I'm being too self indulgent with my plots that they start to lose coherency or is the problem that I'm not being self indulgent enough and thinking too hard about trivial things like whether they make sense rather than whether or not they kick ass severely and look good as the backdrop to my daydreams
#writing#writeblr#much to think about#much to write about#writer things#textpost#relatable#can't get over how much 2016-2017 me wrote just absolutely off the rails self indulgent angst mostly#with some demons and beasts and angels and melodrama#and i had that day where a week into nano having forgotten about it i wrote nearly like 10000 words#and had a vague plan of where i was going#and now it's like 7 words i'm burned out what am I doing#i gotta shamelessly self indulgently poor little meow meow ify some characters again#first nano project my character's introductory scene is him running from a ghost in a nightmarish chase scene that messes with his head#and has to do with his hashtag secret dramatic past#then having him be introduced to the other main character as passed out on the porch like a drunk before getting in a fight and getting sho#then getting driven to the hospital in a small car with claustrophobia with the person who shot him#and then arriving at said hospital only to be met with painful memories and meetings of a previous stay there#and then getting tricked into investigating a murder scene there that has to do with his specific backstory of demon angst#and then burning his hand on silver having paranormal flashbacks talking to demons and idk#i was just beating this guy up scene after scene glorious 37000 words unfortunately lost a couple thousand to a power out and lost steam#but still like it was so much writing and some of it wasn't even half bad#what happened that i can't write that self indulgently anymore#i mean worsening adhd and loss of structure and better writing skill and over perfectionism happened but hey#i used to daydream consecutive scenes and opening scenes now i just got that one thing in the middle half the time#and a premise and vibes with no solidity despite the ideas being more solid to me the execution is less solid#anyway ignore me#now my plots are very self indulgent premise wise but after I get the premise I start thinking of all these complicated things that get in#the way of the indulgence I think
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autism-corner · 2 months ago
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fooltofancy · 3 months ago
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curled up in the least comfortable office chair on the planet trying to con my brain and body into speaking with one another
sending untrained mental carrier pigeons but they're getting lost and causing nerve pain instead idk
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ghoulishtomato · 1 year ago
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Modern book readers when their characters aren't literally a clone of Jesus Christ Himself starting at Chapter 1
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ducksbyday · 2 years ago
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[more headcanons with Day! This time it's ✨Names✨]
I've been enjoying writing these sm
My favourite thing in story writing is making up these little details in universes, that don't really have an effect on the story or the characters, but just make the place feel complex, in depth and its complete own world. I have those for the Empires SMP too.
One of them is the idea that names work differently in that world than in ours. Instead of having a first in last name, peoples names exist out of a first (given) name, a second (chosen, descriptive) name and their place of residence/birth.
The given name is your first name your parents give you at birth. When you're very young you won't have a second name yet.
This is because you choose your second name yourself. This can either be like an actual second name (like my HC for Pix, it being Pixl "Winchester"), a nickname (Mythical "J. Sausage"), or a word that in describes them (Oli "The Champion", Fwhip "The Goblin").
And the third part of the name is your place of birth/residence (you can let it be changed later on, if you move to another empire, the empire stops existing or gets taken over by another one etc). But even here there is diversity. You either be from, of, or for an empire.
From is the standard. If you're from an empire that means you're a regular citizen. (Shelby "The Great" from The Evermoore).
If you're of an empire, this means you have some kind of leading role of the empire (Sherrif Jimmy "Sherrif" of Tumble Town)
The last one it for. This is a version of someones name only used when they're on duty for a empire that they're not from. A good example is Deputy F "The goblin" Whip For Tumble Town of Gobland.
Here are some names I created for the Empires:
Pixl "Winchester" for The ancient Capital
Fwhip "The Goblin" (for Tumble Town) of Gobland
Sherrif Jimmy "Sherrif" of Tumble Town
Prince Scott "Everywhere" of Chromia
False "Symmetry" from somewhere
Oli "The Champion" from Olipeligo from Afterlife
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strwbrymlkshake · 2 years ago
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Why can't I be satisfied with everything? It needs to be perfect to me and I can't accept anything otherwise :(
#mine#oh boy here we go. guy last post was about has been pretty cool and i got flustered around him a few times#but i feel bad bc. i need m o r e he isnt insane enough he isnt making me go absolutely crazy i want to be satisfied but im NOT im sorry#like its quite honestly the most attention acceptance etc ive gotten but its not ENOUGH he doesnt die whenever i send a selfie#im never satisfied WHY i have unrealistic expectations !!!! i hate my brain killing and violence and death etc#i get crushes on guys who want nothing to do with me but then when one actually wants me its not enough? what is wrong with me#thrill of the chase? i cant accept being loved? what is it brain. christ almighty. im not doing anything like deliberately yandere related#anymore im just being generally incomprehensibly mentally ill 🙄 still trying to find a therapist but idk how on earth ill explain that#ill update this post tomorrow with more insanity but for now i am the sleepy tired#// ok its now 3 days later i dont feel like making another post. i think i was just having a mental illness moment as always#because he does make me insane. hashtag girl. im trying to be the smartest and calculated i have ever been with a relationship in my life#like im thinkin about it so hard bro. the future n shit. how would this relationship go. im so scared ill do something wrong its preventing#me from doing things RIGHT. im sad becaude i flipped out today over even imagining him being upset with me a little#so i was really embarrassed and it put me in a weird mood for the rest of the night but he reassured me he doesnt hate me or want me to die#every one aaalways says theyre different. i can only hope this one is telling the truth. i dont know what ill do if he isnt.#well i need to stop whining about fictional scenarios and focus on the good stuff in reality. i get along with him very well and he#is very niceys to me :3 he doesnt think im fucking insane or stupid for overreacting. i feel very comfortable gossiping and talking w him#every long time blog viewer of mine reading this like ah shit here we go again#but thats what im here for. i guess. just have to keep doing this shit until something good finally happens to me romantically hngh#i feel so strange because i have wanted and yearned for a relationship but now that i actually could have one im like WAIT#I DIDNT THINK ID GET THIS FAR 💀💀💀 bruh. and he doesnt even think im stupid hes respectful to me he checks in on me all the time#like perhaps the only person to ever actually almost match my energy in a romantic sense. there was [redacted] i guess but he didnt love me#he listens to me talk about my problems he doesnt think i complain or overreact too much. all the ridiculous cringe shit i do#he doesnt mind it. its nice to be able to be myself. and im really proud of myself for not rushing into a relationship right away
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ashmp3 · 1 year ago
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going out with virgo bestie tomorrow or on saturday i am actually not sure and i am excited of course but also i am anticipating seeing someone and it’s making me be hihi haha. Isn’t that crazy… i hate this feeling i’m gonna be honest
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francisforever2014 · 2 years ago
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i hate the term “female friendship” like it annoys me
#listening to the binchtopia podcast episode on comp het.. v interesting#but that kinda stuff just reminds me that i am not a ‘female’ 😭#i’m like why can’t i relate to all these stories about female friendships and female comradarie… and i’m like right bc u aren’t one bestie#sigh i hate how cis centered gender studies and feminism can be even though it’s very important#idk how to fix it or if it even needs to be fixed but yeah . it’s both annoying and freeing to not be able to relate to a lot of these#discussions#anyways . who up and wanna have a ‘female friendship’ w me (sex)#also i wonder how many of my ‘female friendships’ weren't fulfilling because of my lack of cisgenderness. like i was always the other#and these cis women were looking for comradarie in another woman and i just wasn’t that. and they could tell#i always used to wonder why i wasn’t getting the same thing out of female friendships as everybody else was or how liberal women make it#sound. and this is definitely a factor . which idk how i didn’t realize it sooner#also ofc being gay and having straight friends when i was younger#but even in my ‘female friendships’ with other lgbt women something is missing#like the most fulfilling relationship i’ve ever had is in fact with a man .#and idk how much of that is just chance like we just happen to click . and how much of it is bc i feel like i can relate to him more than#i ever could my ‘female friends’#also we have other things in common like he’s an lgbt person of color i’m an lgbt person of color etc .#but idk . i wonder how much gender factors into this#like i’ve had that in common with women and STILL something is missing#sorry for centering men in my life hashtag problematic hashtag internalized misogyny#also not to say that my current friendships with women aren’t fulfilling i love them . and it does help that they’re all lgbt poc#but there’s always this border i feel. like when they’ll be talking about hashtag womanhood and i just . don’t get it#SORRY for the long ass tags omg
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fslurusami · 2 years ago
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my top 3 most relatable gk characters are usami ogata and shiraishi. which is 2 of the worst possible red flags and shiraishi
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arolesbianism · 1 month ago
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Sometimes I just look at Isabeau and just know that if isat came out and I got into it when I was like 16 he would be my favorite character and I would've gone absolutely buck wild over this man and feel like he was laser targeting me. But alas Odile has a grip of steel on me rn due to her virtue of being a middle aged woman
#rat rambles#stars posting#I feel like the biggest change in my taste in characters as the years have gone by is Im now far more biased towards old ppl lol#although tbf I was also the one person in 2016 who actually liked asgore so maybe Ive always liked parhetic old ppl#but yeah the reason isa is past me bait is because hes an exploration and subversion of the sort of tropes I Hated as a kid#and I still dont like them so isa still appeals to me its just not as much as he would have to a younger me#I do genuinely love all the party very dearly tho theyre all soooo good#I think my favorite part of isabeau is how like. of everyone we get to see the least facets of him but like in a very good way#this is a man who hides and bottles shit hes so fun to rotate#his self image is so carefully controlled compared to everyone else which makes him an incredibly interesting character to analyze#and I love that despite him seeming like the most emotionally stable person here on the surface he still clearly has like. hashtag issues.#like he's in that beautiful zone where its so so fun imagining what it would look like to truly break him#<- normal things that normal ppl say. like me.#I may have my very light beef with alt looping aus as a concept but hes probably the most interesting alternate looper to me#also my light beef exclusively relates to king quest stuff which is why Im a big fan of duo looper aus with sif#but honestly. isa might be the only one that I genuinely think works better as a solo looper even with taking king quest into account#although bonnie comes close. I <3 looper bonnie I <3 seeing fictional children go through the horrors#I think theres a lot of fun to be had with any alt looper au tho I just am a huge king quest fan so I like it when my favorite elements of#it dont have to be handwaved#but yeah the real question is how would younger me feel about mirabelle#because on the one hand: acearo character#but on the other hand: I have always been a little hater abt romance so idk if younger me would rly be able to follow her character well#I wasnt exactly good at character analysis back then lol#except for the instances in which I was but I dont have that sort of faith in my younger self#yknow Im thinking abt my history of favorite characters now and I think me being one of few 2016 alphys enjoyers might have been a prophecy#she was my quote unquote third favorite but in reality she was second#I think she chara and peridot su teamed up to define my taste in fictional characters for the next several years#and somehow that lead to olivia becoming one of my favorite fictional characters of all time#I say somehow as if that isnt a very natural conclusion
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dollopheadedmerlin · 2 years ago
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Buddy, this post was satirical
This media is cringe, except, of course, in the way that I consume it *bullies children*
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spampai · 3 months ago
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Struggle.
Mine, Aka Spampai/Clsketches
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Sigh.
Thoughts again. I know people will probably skim thru this, but I don’t have the heart to care right now. I’m sharing because I trust you. I’m aware of the dangers of the internet and how they can use to manipulate, but I just don’t care right now.
I don’t really care if this gets 1039390384 notes or less than 10, and I don’t care what time I’m posting this, because apparently now it’s the dead hour ‘til nighttime, but I don’t have the patience to wait.
I’ll place an image of Bitty because I don’t like false hashtags and I relate to him in some way. Favorite character, is all.
Everytime I boot up Tumblr, my expectations boost up to the max, expecting notifications, feedback, reblogs, likes, comments. I see none. I leave quickly with a frown.
It also happened on Instagram; it’s just the same thing happening all over again in Tumblr.
In my last post on a ramble, everyone convinced that it takes time, which of course, is true. But I always find a way to come back to this occurrence, and I can’t take that thought away. What’s happening?
Are the artists not reblogging because of poor quality? Is it because I have poor management on when to post? Is my hashtags outdated? Is it because the content I’ve posted is dead?
Or is it the luck? People tend to base their account out of luck of people, big artists, communities, to find, like, reblog, comment. I’ve rarely got that, and whenever it’s about them, I get more likes.
Am I like-driven in some way? I don’t know.
Am I promoting the manga way too much? I don’t know?
Is it spam content? I don’t know.
Does my content stand above the rest? I don’t know.
Do I post too often or too less? I don’t know.
Is my account worth to reblog on? Art-wise? Comment-wise? I don’t know.
I just don’t know.
I don’t know anything.
Too much questions, too much.
My brain can’t think. My heart can’t feel.
They can’t cooperate and work together.
All the brain does is overthink; the heart mourn, carrying more burden everyday.
Even if I did take a break, it’ll never stop my pursue for more feedback. The only thing I ask myself to do is to stay positive, commit to my goals and be happy, but I think it’s wearing off over time, slowly.
I’ll just see u in my next post.
Thanks for everyone who commented in my last ramble. It helped, and I hope I can see more someday. Whenever that is.
Thanks to all the artists who convinced me to stay here; idk if any of u are reading this but love ya and keep the positivity.
Support my manga, reblogging if u like it or smth. I need it. Physically and mentally. Use #Talk Your Way Out! Or smth I don’t know anymore on how the algorithm works. I don’t know if the upcoming chapters will receive as much, but idk. Idk if this counts as more spam promoting.
Part 1:
Part 2:
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I’ll just add this. I’ll be working on Part 3 now, ‘cause I spend way too much time on this post. See you.
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innitmarvellous · 7 months ago
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Part 2 of my ace contemplations - Part 1 can be found here - or more like: more whining, haha. Sorry.
First off something more general: I'm happy about the responses I got on the original post, but I think it's a bit sad that there isn't a hashtag or something for people who want and need the support of the aspec community here on Tumblr (without having to join a special forum or sth). Because it seems that while the community is quite active, it's mostly for sharing memes and snappy textposts and stuff, and less about more helpful things and discussions. I'm not saying the memes etc are wrong and shouldn't be a part of it too, but idk, I just wish there would be more of an actual community bond, if that makes sense? To help the people who aren't yet at the stage where they can view their identity as something great, people who are still struggling and are reliant on online communities for that kind of help.
Because for all the talk about the very active Tumblr aspec community...I personally haven't seen and benefitted much of it, apart from the memes etc. And I hope I'm not the only person who don't just want to agree with meme posts and would wish for more. Or am I just unfortunate? Looking in the wrong places? (In short, where are the nice supportive ace people of Tumblr? I'm desperate here...well, kind of.)
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Something related to the books I mentioned in the original post:
these books are all written from such an US-centric, university-educated and creative business viewpoint. And that's just not my world at all, as an mostly unemployed European with crappy education.
Like, one time it was mentioned that aces always look out for each other and how great that is. And yeah, sure. It is. It would be great, but what about the people who aren't part of that lucky network or community? People who possibly haven't met another aspec person in real life? They are missing that kind of support, and maybe it would be the one thing that would make everything easier.
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Another thing: I found the probably supposed to be inspirational stories from other aces in the books rather disheartening. Yeah, fine, so person XY found their perfect partner by luck, despite whatever made them think it would never work out, yadda yadda. Good for them, but that's not gonna happen to me, right? I'm not gonna strike that jackpot and will find someone who accepts me as I am. Maybe I'm just a really, really spiteful person, but stories like that don't inspire me or show me what's possible for me personally in any way.
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Well, yeah, I never encountered that. Like, truly never. That's one thing where I'm very ace: I don't get what's supposed to be sexy about a (mostly) naked body. I understand a appeal of a open top button and bit of chest being visible or something like that (lol that sounded so stupid), but the body being in full view? Nah man, put on your shirt again before you catch a cold, lol. (And it's not just guys actually, but people of all genders, if I'm honest.) I should probably add that I absolutely don't mind seeing anything like that, it just doesn't do anything for me.
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I guess my takeaway from all the reading I did isn't like for other people who don't feel wrong or broken anymore when they find out there are other aces out there. Even after knowing a lot about it I still feel like some crucial part of me is missing, and I could be more than what I am if that were possible. But then again, there isn't really a possibility for change, so I need to do my best to accept this. I just wish I had it easy one single time...why is basically everything about me so hard to accept? lol
Idk, but if I ever manage to convince myself that inevitably dying alone one day (and spending the time until then alone too) is a good thing, then I'm sure I'll be able to do anything. Now I only need to figure out how to convince myself and that's where it gets difficult, lol.
Being both aspec and too dumb/awkward to make friends is such a curse tbh 😓 And I can't even become a crazy cat lady because I'm bad with animals too, ugh...
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In connection with the previous bit, I'm kinda envious of that way of thinking. Would make things much easier, I assume. And it's great if it worked for her, but I on the contrary would find it quite painful if I look back at my in a sense similar life.
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And to counter all the hopelessness a little bit - we're supposed to do that kind of thing, I guess - I tried my best to come up with some positive points, although I take them with a grain of salt myself.
- Well, it does give me an explanation for whatever is going on with me. (Although I only need that explanation for myself, since I seem to give off so much sad loser energy that no one ever bothered to ask me whether I want a boyfriend or kids. They just look at me and think "nah, that's obviously impossible for her". Which is oddly funny yet a little bit hurtful... ^^')
- I'm kind of glad that I never actually have to hug people or cuddle with them since I hate physical contact so much, lol. Doesn't matter if it's platonic or not. Remember when everyone missed being hugged during the pandemic? Couldn't be me :D
- I guess someone who is a rather bad person with way too many negative traits like me shouldn't be on the dating market anyway, so it's a plus that I'm no relationship material. Although that's more of a plus for others, not so much for me, lol. But it is a plus in the sense that everyone I would fall in love with would be unattainable for me anyway, so it's good not to be tempted in the first place.
- Idk, that's about it, I think? Maybe I forgot something, but I believe that's the gist of it. Kind of sad, but I tried, haha.
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earthstellar · 2 years ago
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love the canonical implication that Earthspark Bumblebee's current alt-mode is possibly just a mid life crisis sports car phase
I mean I'm in my 30s, I'm not shitting on him, it's relatable primarily because most of my friends are at least slightly younger than I am
the "Bee hanging out with the Terrans" vibe is very real
but I also like that we're seeing a slightly older version of Bee here. usually he's the youngest of the Autobots (in most TF shows, anyway), but here he's roughly equivalent to middle aged
The Terrans are the youngest, so we get to see a more mature Bee stepping up into a carer/educator role
Bee has never really been one of my favourite TF characters (which I mostly attribute to burn out caused by all the marketing which solely fixates on him lmao), but I like him in Earthspark for the most part!
He's still a little on the "still learning" side of things coming into his current role, but that's what allows for further character development, and we've already seen him build some good skills for dealing with/training the kiddo bots
IDK it's nice.
would be interesting if there's ever an episode where Alex and Dot are unavailable for a not-necessarily-bad reason (maybe one of them is accepting a professional award or something so both of them go together as a Nice Thing)
and suddenly Bumblebee is Parent of Many Sparklings (Plus Two Human Ones) for the weekend LMAO
how long until he gives in and calls someone for help? because that is a LOT of children
eventually he calls everyone but they're all busy, Arcee just laughs at him lol she's having Fun Battle Time with Elita-1 so neither of them can do it, finally Megatron shows up and instantly all the kids are like "yeah STORY TIME" and Bee gets a 10 min nap in until a perimeter alarm goes off or something (it was just a cow but now he is Stressed)
Optimus gradually shows up like ha ha! outdoors enrichment for the children is a great idea and Bee is just like "have you ever actually raised sparklings, you had troops but you don't have SPARKLINGS"
meanwhile in the background Hashtag is trying to explain the differences between various social media sites to Megatron, who is trying so hard to pretend like he cares, but is also busy trying to keep at least two of the others from putting their hands a little too deep in his transformation seams so they can climb on him (they just want to be Large)
idk I think a Single Parent Bee episode feat. Grandpa Megatron towards the end at one point would be fun, arguably they did this kind of vibe in the first half of S1 a bit already
but it would be interesting to see how Bumblebee would manage without any other adults for support for like a weekend in its entirety (save for maybe Megs at the end taking pity on him lmao)
there aren't many bots in what seems to be Bumblebee's general age range, except maybe Arcee but she gives the vibe of being a little older than he is, so real talk he'd probably feel a little more isolated and overtaxed than usual :(
but the kiddos would likely pick up on this and they could plot with Megs to try to do something nice for him!!! it would go poorly but that's OK!!!!
just thinkin' out loud
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