#idk. am i hashtag relatable

[plutosoda]

ok actually with the assignment procastination i think i figured it out . i think i need a deadline to do something that is from someone i care about/talk with bc if its a Professor that is just some guy . and i will put it off forever.

[myokk]

Sebastian had a few days leave from duty so he visited Eloise😇😇

[arolesbianism]

Sometimes I just look at Isabeau and just know that if isat came out and I got into it when I was like 16 he would be my favorite character and I would've gone absolutely buck wild over this man and feel like he was laser targeting me. But alas Odile has a grip of steel on me rn due to her virtue of being a middle aged woman

[autism-corner]

[fooltofancy]

curled up in the least comfortable office chair on the planet trying to con my brain and body into speaking with one another

sending untrained mental carrier pigeons but they're getting lost and causing nerve pain instead idk

[ghoulishtomato]

Modern book readers when their characters aren't literally a clone of Jesus Christ Himself starting at Chapter 1

[strwbrymlkshake]

Why can't I be satisfied with everything? It needs to be perfect to me and I can't accept anything otherwise :(

[ashmp3]

going out with virgo bestie tomorrow or on saturday i am actually not sure and i am excited of course but also i am anticipating seeing someone and it’s making me be hihi haha. Isn’t that crazy… i hate this feeling i’m gonna be honest

[francisforever2014]

i hate the term “female friendship” like it annoys me

[fslurusami]

my top 3 most relatable gk characters are usami ogata and shiraishi. which is 2 of the worst possible red flags and shiraishi

[dollopheadedmerlin]

Buddy, this post was satirical

This media is cringe, except, of course, in the way that I consume it *bullies children*

[spampai]

Struggle.

Mine, Aka Spampai/Clsketches

…

Sigh.

Thoughts again. I know people will probably skim thru this, but I don’t have the heart to care right now. I’m sharing because I trust you. I’m aware of the dangers of the internet and how they can use to manipulate, but I just don’t care right now.

I don’t really care if this gets 1039390384 notes or less than 10, and I don’t care what time I’m posting this, because apparently now it’s the dead hour ‘til nighttime, but I don’t have the patience to wait.

I’ll place an image of Bitty because I don’t like false hashtags and I relate to him in some way. Favorite character, is all.

Everytime I boot up Tumblr, my expectations boost up to the max, expecting notifications, feedback, reblogs, likes, comments. I see none. I leave quickly with a frown.

It also happened on Instagram; it’s just the same thing happening all over again in Tumblr.

In my last post on a ramble, everyone convinced that it takes time, which of course, is true. But I always find a way to come back to this occurrence, and I can’t take that thought away. What’s happening?

Are the artists not reblogging because of poor quality? Is it because I have poor management on when to post? Is my hashtags outdated? Is it because the content I’ve posted is dead?

Or is it the luck? People tend to base their account out of luck of people, big artists, communities, to find, like, reblog, comment. I’ve rarely got that, and whenever it’s about them, I get more likes.

Am I like-driven in some way? I don’t know.

Am I promoting the manga way too much? I don’t know?

Is it spam content? I don’t know.

Does my content stand above the rest? I don’t know.

Do I post too often or too less? I don’t know.

Is my account worth to reblog on? Art-wise? Comment-wise? I don’t know.

I just don’t know.

I don’t know anything.

Too much questions, too much.

My brain can’t think. My heart can’t feel.

They can’t cooperate and work together.

All the brain does is overthink; the heart mourn, carrying more burden everyday.

Even if I did take a break, it’ll never stop my pursue for more feedback. The only thing I ask myself to do is to stay positive, commit to my goals and be happy, but I think it’s wearing off over time, slowly.

…

I’ll just see u in my next post.

Thanks for everyone who commented in my last ramble. It helped, and I hope I can see more someday. Whenever that is.

Thanks to all the artists who convinced me to stay here; idk if any of u are reading this but love ya and keep the positivity.

Support my manga, reblogging if u like it or smth. I need it. Physically and mentally. Use #Talk Your Way Out! Or smth I don’t know anymore on how the algorithm works. I don’t know if the upcoming chapters will receive as much, but idk. Idk if this counts as more spam promoting.

Part 1:

Part 2:

I’ll just add this. I’ll be working on Part 3 now, ‘cause I spend way too much time on this post. See you.

[innitmarvellous]

Part 2 of my ace contemplations - Part 1 can be found here - or more like: more whining, haha. Sorry.

First off something more general: I'm happy about the responses I got on the original post, but I think it's a bit sad that there isn't a hashtag or something for people who want and need the support of the aspec community here on Tumblr (without having to join a special forum or sth). Because it seems that while the community is quite active, it's mostly for sharing memes and snappy textposts and stuff, and less about more helpful things and discussions. I'm not saying the memes etc are wrong and shouldn't be a part of it too, but idk, I just wish there would be more of an actual community bond, if that makes sense? To help the people who aren't yet at the stage where they can view their identity as something great, people who are still struggling and are reliant on online communities for that kind of help.

Because for all the talk about the very active Tumblr aspec community...I personally haven't seen and benefitted much of it, apart from the memes etc. And I hope I'm not the only person who don't just want to agree with meme posts and would wish for more. Or am I just unfortunate? Looking in the wrong places? (In short, where are the nice supportive ace people of Tumblr? I'm desperate here...well, kind of.)

---

Something related to the books I mentioned in the original post:

these books are all written from such an US-centric, university-educated and creative business viewpoint. And that's just not my world at all, as an mostly unemployed European with crappy education.

Like, one time it was mentioned that aces always look out for each other and how great that is. And yeah, sure. It is. It would be great, but what about the people who aren't part of that lucky network or community? People who possibly haven't met another aspec person in real life? They are missing that kind of support, and maybe it would be the one thing that would make everything easier.

---

Another thing: I found the probably supposed to be inspirational stories from other aces in the books rather disheartening. Yeah, fine, so person XY found their perfect partner by luck, despite whatever made them think it would never work out, yadda yadda. Good for them, but that's not gonna happen to me, right? I'm not gonna strike that jackpot and will find someone who accepts me as I am. Maybe I'm just a really, really spiteful person, but stories like that don't inspire me or show me what's possible for me personally in any way.

---

Well, yeah, I never encountered that. Like, truly never. That's one thing where I'm very ace: I don't get what's supposed to be sexy about a (mostly) naked body. I understand a appeal of a open top button and bit of chest being visible or something like that (lol that sounded so stupid), but the body being in full view? Nah man, put on your shirt again before you catch a cold, lol. (And it's not just guys actually, but people of all genders, if I'm honest.) I should probably add that I absolutely don't mind seeing anything like that, it just doesn't do anything for me.

---

I guess my takeaway from all the reading I did isn't like for other people who don't feel wrong or broken anymore when they find out there are other aces out there. Even after knowing a lot about it I still feel like some crucial part of me is missing, and I could be more than what I am if that were possible. But then again, there isn't really a possibility for change, so I need to do my best to accept this. I just wish I had it easy one single time...why is basically everything about me so hard to accept? lol

Idk, but if I ever manage to convince myself that inevitably dying alone one day (and spending the time until then alone too) is a good thing, then I'm sure I'll be able to do anything. Now I only need to figure out how to convince myself and that's where it gets difficult, lol.

Being both aspec and too dumb/awkward to make friends is such a curse tbh 😓 And I can't even become a crazy cat lady because I'm bad with animals too, ugh...

---

In connection with the previous bit, I'm kinda envious of that way of thinking. Would make things much easier, I assume. And it's great if it worked for her, but I on the contrary would find it quite painful if I look back at my in a sense similar life.

---

And to counter all the hopelessness a little bit - we're supposed to do that kind of thing, I guess - I tried my best to come up with some positive points, although I take them with a grain of salt myself.

- Well, it does give me an explanation for whatever is going on with me. (Although I only need that explanation for myself, since I seem to give off so much sad loser energy that no one ever bothered to ask me whether I want a boyfriend or kids. They just look at me and think "nah, that's obviously impossible for her". Which is oddly funny yet a little bit hurtful... ^^')

- I'm kind of glad that I never actually have to hug people or cuddle with them since I hate physical contact so much, lol. Doesn't matter if it's platonic or not. Remember when everyone missed being hugged during the pandemic? Couldn't be me :D

- I guess someone who is a rather bad person with way too many negative traits like me shouldn't be on the dating market anyway, so it's a plus that I'm no relationship material. Although that's more of a plus for others, not so much for me, lol. But it is a plus in the sense that everyone I would fall in love with would be unattainable for me anyway, so it's good not to be tempted in the first place.

- Idk, that's about it, I think? Maybe I forgot something, but I believe that's the gist of it. Kind of sad, but I tried, haha.

[earthstellar]

love the canonical implication that Earthspark Bumblebee's current alt-mode is possibly just a mid life crisis sports car phase

I mean I'm in my 30s, I'm not shitting on him, it's relatable primarily because most of my friends are at least slightly younger than I am

the "Bee hanging out with the Terrans" vibe is very real

but I also like that we're seeing a slightly older version of Bee here. usually he's the youngest of the Autobots (in most TF shows, anyway), but here he's roughly equivalent to middle aged

The Terrans are the youngest, so we get to see a more mature Bee stepping up into a carer/educator role

Bee has never really been one of my favourite TF characters (which I mostly attribute to burn out caused by all the marketing which solely fixates on him lmao), but I like him in Earthspark for the most part!

He's still a little on the "still learning" side of things coming into his current role, but that's what allows for further character development, and we've already seen him build some good skills for dealing with/training the kiddo bots

IDK it's nice.

would be interesting if there's ever an episode where Alex and Dot are unavailable for a not-necessarily-bad reason (maybe one of them is accepting a professional award or something so both of them go together as a Nice Thing)

and suddenly Bumblebee is Parent of Many Sparklings (Plus Two Human Ones) for the weekend LMAO

how long until he gives in and calls someone for help? because that is a LOT of children

eventually he calls everyone but they're all busy, Arcee just laughs at him lol she's having Fun Battle Time with Elita-1 so neither of them can do it, finally Megatron shows up and instantly all the kids are like "yeah STORY TIME" and Bee gets a 10 min nap in until a perimeter alarm goes off or something (it was just a cow but now he is Stressed)

Optimus gradually shows up like ha ha! outdoors enrichment for the children is a great idea and Bee is just like "have you ever actually raised sparklings, you had troops but you don't have SPARKLINGS"

meanwhile in the background Hashtag is trying to explain the differences between various social media sites to Megatron, who is trying so hard to pretend like he cares, but is also busy trying to keep at least two of the others from putting their hands a little too deep in his transformation seams so they can climb on him (they just want to be Large)

idk I think a Single Parent Bee episode feat. Grandpa Megatron towards the end at one point would be fun, arguably they did this kind of vibe in the first half of S1 a bit already

but it would be interesting to see how Bumblebee would manage without any other adults for support for like a weekend in its entirety (save for maybe Megs at the end taking pity on him lmao)

there aren't many bots in what seems to be Bumblebee's general age range, except maybe Arcee but she gives the vibe of being a little older than he is, so real talk he'd probably feel a little more isolated and overtaxed than usual :(

but the kiddos would likely pick up on this and they could plot with Megs to try to do something nice for him!!! it would go poorly but that's OK!!!!

just thinkin' out loud

[karamazovanon]

having a normal one i see

and if you're frightened / you can be frightened

a quick ivan :D

[lover-of-mine]

james bond here😎 this is more of a positive/casual update, something i just saw while looking around, but gavin posted a tiktok about an hour ago and the caption was something along the lines of “can you guess why im so tired?” then hashtagged #911 and #christopherdiaz !!! maybe they have either filmed his coming back early to work with his schedule or chris is coming back sooner than expected!! im leaning towards the latter just a tiny bit given the title of ep3, no place like home, maybe he was filming for that a little! idk but im excited!! i miss chris!

Hi my sweet 007 🩷

I just saw his video, honestly, I'm excited as hell, it should probably mean he's getting ready for something 911 related, I am hoping for at least a call from Chris on 803, so fingers crossed, Chris might not be gone that long.