#idk… if they went in a completely different direction again then FINE

[starbuck]

watching this show in the way i am (with my friend who has an encyclopedic knowledge of it but REFUSES to give me spoilers) is soooooooo fun bc the way i’m assessing what might happen going forward is so funny… like. did he successfully kill himself? probably. will he be brought back in some other form AGAIN? maybe. could his bitch ass actor cope with not being as involved? probably not. <— reassess point “will he be brought back in some other form AGAIN?” to likely. is my friend blatantly lying to me by saying that he’s permanently dead? very possibly.

[classyrbf]

Heyyy, idk if you’re still into my hero, but I was wondering if you could do another dabi fic?? I just need something different frfr and maybe a dabi x villain reader if that’s cool w you?

if you do, thank youuuu :3

LOVE AND LIES! — DABI

SYNOPSIS...you and dabi, both villains, find it hard to keep hiding your secret relationship, but you notice his goals lay elsewhere and they definitely don’t include you

INFO...dabi x villain fem!reader, angst, dabi is an asshole, secret relationship, breakup(?), both of them are in the LOV, not proofread

OTHER...likes and reblogs are appreciated

thank you for the request @istoleyourmanho3

A breeze blew past your bare legs, a chill sending up your spine while you pried your eyes open from slumber. The sun shone directly in your face and you could hear the faint sounds of the bustling city just across the water. Your hand reached out to the other side of the bed only to be met with an empty and cold spot.

Finally, you managed to sit up straight, rubbing the tiredness away from your eyes. Turning your head towards the direction of the cruel breeze, you were met with a familiar silhouette. “Good morning,” you called out, voice groggy and low.

Dabi glanced over his shoulder, blowing cigarette smoke from his scarred mouth. “Morning,” he plainly replied. He placed the cigarette between his lips, taking another long drag. He could hear your feet shuffle under the wooden floor as you stepped out onto the balcony with him, your arms finding solace around his waist, resting your head on his bare back.

“I had fun last night,” you murmured against his skin, smiling slightly as you recalled the moments you two were finally able to be alone together.

“Yeah, me too.” He snuffed the cigarette out on the balcony before flicking it off, glancing over where the water met the city. He watched the dock workers load their boats, fishing tools in hand and a solemn look on their faces. He let out a heavy sigh, turning towards you. “We have a mission today so let’s go ready. Group wants us there by ten.” He pushed past you back into the hotel room.

Your brows furrowed at his odd behavior, following behind him and shutting the balcony door. “It’s only seven. Can we at least stay in bed a little longer? We never have time to ourselves anymore.” You grab onto his hand, smiling sweetly at him, but he just pulls away. Your smile faltered at his own dismissive reaction. “Dabi,” you sternly spoke. It’s like he was trapped in his own head, every word you spoke went in one ear and out the other. “Dabi!”

“What?” He turned towards you again as he slipped on his white tee, obviously annoyed. “What is it?”

“Can you slow down for just one second? And can you listen to me?” You asked.

“I’m listening.” He plopped down on the bed, staring up at you with dead eyes.

“What is wrong this morning? Huh?” You curiously step over towards him, reaching your hands out to cup in his face in hopes to comfort him but he is quick to pull your hands back down at your sides.

“Nothing is wrong. Is that what you wanted to ask?” He clenches his jaw. “Get ready.” He grabbed your pants from off the floor and tossed it at you.

You threw them right back at him, an offended look on your face. “I don’t know what crawled up your ass this morning but don’t take it out on me. I just want to spend more time with you before we have to leave. Is that such an issue?” You scoff.

“Maybe it is. I have things I need to do. If you wanna stay here, fine, be my guest.” He stood up from his spot on the bed, walking around the other side to wear his boots were.

“This is first time we’re able to be alone together in over a month and this is how you act?” You stare at him, completely dumbfounded.

“Y/n, maybe I just don’t want to keep hiding this. Us. Whatever the fuck we have going on. It was fun at first but now, not so much. Can you accept that?” He inhaled deeply, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

“You’re a fucking asshole! It wasn’t a problem when you dragged me here last night and decided that having sex was no big deal!�� Deep down you were genuinely hurt by his words. He was talking to you as if you were some sort of fling, as if you and him didn’t know each other like the back of your hands. Maybe you didn’t.

“Yeah, whatever.” He simply didn’t care anymore. It was like a flip had switched in his brain. Two entirely different people compared to last night and this morning. “There’s more important things to focus on right now.”

“Are you serious?” You stomp over towards him and push him hard enough that he staggers back. “Are we not important enough? Do you just not care anymore? Tell me, Dabi.” You’re glaring into his soul, yet he seems completely unfazed.

“We’re not.” His blunt answer throws you off a little, you’re complete taken aback. “We never were.” And you swear you could feel a sting in your chest. It was an all too familiar feeling. “What’s been important is the mission. You should’ve known that.”

“Wow,” you breathily say, taking a step back from him. “Wow,” you repeat. You can’t help but stare at him in pure disgust and anger. “You make me fucking sick, you know that?”

He just stares at you, watching the way your eyes suddenly change, no longer seeing the slight glint in them. Your voice, it was more deeper, monotone, compared to how you were always soft spoken and gentle with your words. “The mission is important to me too. But just know this, I would’ve forgotten about the mission if it meant me and you would be together. At least that’s what I thought when you told me you loved me. Guess that wasn’t important either, right?” He watches the way your figure disappears into the bathroom, the door slamming behind you.

Dabi let his anger and hunger for revenge consume him entirely. He was more focused on making the ones who hurt him suffer, letting the pain fester and turning into black hole instead of focusing on the good in front of him. And there were times you pulled out of the sinking place of darkness, where he dreamed of another life with you, where you two weren’t wanted either dead or alive for the crimes you’ve committed and certainly didn’t have to hide your love for each other. But the darkness was stronger than he realized, and once again it swallowed him whole. Like a devil on his shoulder, it whispered in his ear of all the horrible things in his past instead of reminding him what could be his future. You.

So with that, Dabi decided to leave. Walking out of the room and leaving you there all alone. He knows you’ll hate him for the rest of your life. Maybe you’ll even try and kill him once this is all over with, cause now he’s also dragged down in the darkness with him.

[airaibunny]

sana x reader - “finally” (“she's better” pt 2) (warnings: smut, angst, arguing, oral, fingering, scissoring[idk if there's a classier word], breast play, praise)

a/n: by popular request, here is the part two to "she's better." this took me so long, i didn't know what direction to take it in. hopefully you guys like the finished result! also, i didn’t include dom+indicators because it switches in the middle!

word count: 1.8k

you wake up to the feeling of warm sunlight on your face. after adjusting your eyes to the brightness, you notice sana is still in bed, hugging you as she sleeps. she would normally be gone by the time you wake up, but you’re glad she’s not.

last night was definitely different, it didn’t feel like the normal ‘just sex.’ you didn’t want to ask sana about it last night, it felt too soon. you’re hoping to talk to her about it today, maybe your relationship could become something more.

“good morning!”

you excitedly remark when you see sana is awake. you turn to hug her, burying your face in her chest.

“morning.”

she turns around, getting out of bed. you’re slightly taken aback by her response, but just brush it off because you’re both barely awake.

“so, last night was…new.”

she stretches, standing up and getting her clothes.

“mhm. i’m going to get ready, see you later.”

she gives you a half smile and walks outside. you sit in bed, confused at whatever just happened. she kissed you last night, she didn’t act like it was another causal hook-up, why was she suddenly being so cold?

you’d be lying if you said you weren’t somewhat angry at her right now, is she just playing with you?

you decide to just forget about it for now, maybe she’ll act differently later. for now, you just get ready for the day. with promotions finished, there’s not much to do until the end of your schedule, so you have the day off again.

you go outside to find everyone at the table, eating breakfast. you take a spot right next to sana, smiling at her. she halfheartedly smiles back and you lean in to whisper in her ear.

“what’s wrong?”

“nothing’s wrong.”

she joins in on the conversation at the table and completely forgets you’re there. why is she back to normal? you thought after last night she’d finally ask to be your girlfriend or at least confess her feelings for you, but maybe you got the wrong idea. maybe sana doesn’t like girls, you got too excited over nothing.

“hey, im sorry about the nayeon thing last night. we all talked about it when you went to your bedroom and realized we took it too far.”

chaeyoung puts her hand on your arm as she apologizes, you tell her it’s fine and everyone continues on with their discussion. you go back to thinking about sana, you genuinely can’t stop. why did she string you along like that? there’s no way she didn’t know what she was doing.

you sit through the rest of breakfast choking back tears. it’s really so foolish of you to be upset over this. sana hasn’t budged in months, why would that change now? as soon as everyone is done eating, you storm off to your room.

you stand there, silently crying and cursing yourself for getting your hopes up. you suddenly hear the door open and look back to see sana. you wipe your tears, putting your hands on your hips.

“hey.”

sana walks closer to you, noticing how red your face is. “hey. you okay?” she brushes your cheek with her finger and cups your face.

“yes. why’d you follow me?”

“well, you came into your room and it’s the middle of the day…”

you roll your eyes and take her hand off of your face. you can’t believe her right now.

“and what? that means i’m ready for you to fuck me?”

she stands silent for a second, looking puzzled “doesn’t it?” you huff in disbelief. “you’re unbelievable sana.”

she’s still staring at you quite baffled at whatever is happening. you’re growing angrier at the fact that she doesn’t immediately know why you’re acting like this.

“i don’t understand.” she crosses her arms, furrowing her eyebrows at you.

“of course you don’t, because i’m just a fun toy for you. you play with me when you’re bored, and ignore me when you’re not.” the words choke in your throat. you can feel yourself about to cry, but you can’t, you can’t show her how truly upset you are.

“what are you talking about? i thought we were both on the same page about this relationship.” your mouth opens in shock. “what relationship sana? we don’t have a relationship, you don’t want a relationship.” you feel a tear stream down your cheek and wipe it away.

“what? you’re the one who doesn’t want a relationship. you’ve never acted like you liked me in the slightest.”

sana walks closer to you. her eyes look glossy, like she’s about to cry.

“sana, when this started, you told me you didn’t like girls. you’re also not one for sticking around.”

“well, you said the same thing.” her eyes fill with tears, but she wipes them away before they fall down. “what was i supposed to say? ‘oh well, i do’ no, sana, i liked you. i still like you. i wanted to have something with you, and this was the only thing you were willing to give me.”

you’re sobbing as your speak, your voice breaking in between sentences. sana walks closer to you, holding your face in her hands. she lifts it up to kiss you, wiping away most of your tears.

“i’m sorry. i only said all of that because i didn’t know how you would react. i know that’s stupid, i should have told you how i really felt.” she kisses you again “i like you…“ she’s stops for second, thinking about her next words. “i love you, i love you so much.”

you hug her tightly, crying into her shirt for a few seconds.

finally.

after so many years being completely whipped for minatozaki sana, you finally know she feels the same way. you heart wants to jump out of your chest with excitement. she wasn’t stringing you along, she felt the same way you did! you were just both terrified of saying what you felt.

“sana, i love you too.”

you kiss again, it feels so much different than it before. it feels primal, you’re fully enveloped in her. the kiss quickly becomes something else, her hands travel to your sides, tugging at your shirt.

“let me show you how sorry i am.”

she whispers against your lips, pulling your shirt off your body. you pull off your shorts and underwear as well, you want her all over you. you try pulling her shirt off as well, but she grabs your hands.

“no, i want this to be all about you.”

“well, what i want is your tits. please.”

you look at her with a pout, she gives you a wicked smile while pulling her shirt off and tossing it aside. you immediately wrap your hands around her breasts, connecting your lips with hers at the same time. she guides you to the bed while still kissing you and pushes you down on it.

“what do you want me to do first?”

she bends down; leaving slow, wet kisses on your neck.

“go down on me, please?” she looks up, smiling. “whatever you want, princess.”

she moves lower, her lips hovering over your skin, letting you feel her breath all the way down. she stops at your dripping core, turning her face to kiss your thigh. you would normally beg her to stop teasing you, but not today. today, you want her to kiss every inch of you.

she continues kissing you, leaving bruises and bite marks with her mouth all over your thighs. you’re dripping onto the sheets at this point, your body aches for some sort of friction. luckily, she’s done teasing you for now. you feel her tongue drag across your folds and slap a hand over your mouth to cover your moans.

she giggles at your reaction and you bring your other hand to her hair. her tongue moves up and down your core, earning low moans from you. she wraps her lips around your clit and sucks on it, fuck she’s so good.

“sana, feels good. please don’t stop.”

you look down at her, delighting in how pretty she looks. she’s still doing the same thing with her tongue, but you can now feel her fingers on your heat. she runs them across your entrance before forcing them in, making you cry out in pleasure.

with the added stimulation, you can feel yourself on the edge already. her fingers curl inside you as her tongue circles around your clit, both in perfect synchrony.

“fuck, sana-“

you finish while moaning her name, your lower body twitching. once she finishes completely cleaning you and her fingers off, she comes up for a kiss.

“you taste so good, princess.”

she gives you an inebriating smirk, bending down to kiss you again. “what now?”

“let me ride you.”

she stops kissing you, widening her eyes in shock.

“huh?”

“you heard me, let me…ride you.”

you push her down on the bed beside you and pull down her shorts, straddling her without waiting for a definitive answer. you push your hair to the side, lowering yourself to her neck. you use your hands to play with her breasts while using your lips to mark her, you want everyone to know she’s yours now.

“lift your leg.”

you order, feeling a sudden rush from being so dominant. she complies, lifting one of her legs over yours. you lower yourself, letting your folds come in direct contact with hers. you both moan and sit still for a second, getting adjusted to the new feeling.

“ready?” you ask down at her and she nods, so you start moving your hips. sana is instantly a whimpering mess, and so are you. you twitch a bit every time your clits rub against each other, she feels amazing. you notice a tear fall down her cheek and you’re surprised at how much that turns you on.

looking down at her in such a vulnerable state is exhilarating. you never thought you’d enjoy this so much, but all you want is to hear is her moaning and whimpering for you, because of you.

“does that feel good?”

she nods and you speed up, making you both grow louder. you know the members are outside but you can barely think about anything but her.

you’re both very close, you can see how flushed she is and how quickly her tears are coming. “you’re so pretty.” you whisper against her skin as you bend down to kiss her chest.

you feel your body tensing, about to reach your high. sana does before you however, squeezing your thigh. her release is all you need to hear before you come completely undone. you slow down, panting as you try to calm yourself.

you stare down at sana, smiling to yourself. she notices your smile once she opens her eyes and asks “are we done?”

“not by a long shot, i want to see you cry more.”

[stalky-arsen]

well, that kinda aged poorly lol

i think i need to get it out of my system.

Firstly, I am not a professionnal psy. So everything I'm going to say about Yamato should be consider only as interpretation or headcannons.

Secondly, this man has C-PTSD for suuuuure. If he wasn't abducted, abused and even forced to kill for 15 years early in his life, he would have ended up being a complete different person.

Now let's get started.

Yamato. My man. You have high sociopathy. I tested it XD

But you're going to ask me "how could you say I'm a sociopath when you don't even know what it really is." I have wikipedia. There is probably better sources but I can get a general idea on what this is.

So, wikipedia says : "Antisocial personality disorder (ASPD) is a personality disorder defined by a chronic pattern of behavior that disregards the rights and well-being of others. People with ASPD often exhibit behavior that conflicts with social norms, leading to issues with interpersonal relationships, employment, and legal matters." Basically you lack empathy and morality and it could get you some troubles in your relationships.

I also tested your sociopathy level by roleplaying you on several quiz websites, and boy this is very high probabilities~ (i was bored okay.)

"But these are quizzes, it's not serious." You want to play that way ? Fine. I'm gonna list all the "symptoms".

Impulsivity

Honestly, this is very hard to see at first. You seem very cooled down. People wouldn't call you impulsive at first glance. But digging deeper, I was able to ask myself a question.

Your plan, during Sea of Sorrow, it was full of flaws. It relies only on reliabilities.

The first one being Union's presence. Why would you invite them on board ? What was the reason ? To threaten Konkuzan ? Don't you think Konkuzan would have suspected something ? You were lucky you ended up with Tang Xuan 'cause they came with detectives, but imagine if it was someone else like idk, Li Ling, Lewis, Lucas, David, Mona, Brynn, Q... No offense to any of them, but they wouldn't think like Tang Xuan, some wouldn't even bring a detective, some would just set the boat on fire recklessly.

(out of subject but Drew would be hyper effecient lol he would even save Yuuhime from Yamato lol)

Oh also, what would've happen if any of the guests you invited didn't come ? Like they would have been too scared and would flee the country instead ? Just a possibility. You surely had make sure they would definitely agreed to come.

Okay but what if Masato didn't attempted to murder Konkuzan ? What would you have done ? Again, you really had to make sure he wanted to kill him.

okay okay, maybe that wasn't enough, then what about the fact you just thought the music box would tired itself ? How come you were so sure it would tire itself from overuse ??? It was a wild guess ! Imagine if it weren't the case what would you have done then ?

Imagine you would have fallen completely under the box's control ? What would you have done ?

So, the important question is, What if something went wrong, what would you have done ? How would you reacted ?

This is a wild guess yeah but he would've breakdown on the moment. This man was so sure his plan would have worked the way it would, not making sure of every possibilities. He didn't even plan a backup plan. What makes me so sure of that ?

Tang Yun's presence.

That monkey boy shouldn't have been on board in first place. Sure the Shadow Decree had some tension with the Syndicate, but like Union, it would have been anyone else, it would have gone differently and unlike Union, they didn't have the obligation to come.

Your plan worked because you got lucky, but if it went any other directions, you would have a meltdown.

Reckless disregard for one's own safety or that of others.

Why the fuck would you eat Fugu on a daily basis ??? "Because it makes me feel stronger" That's certainly a cope out then (okay let's not count that)

And honestly, you wouldn't care for anyone's safety, we could argue about your sister's but domestic violence isn't something safe yk ?

Irresponsible behavior

Okay sure, you can argue on the fact that taking care of a criminal and an assassination guild is somewhat impressive, I don't what would have happen if Syndicate's assassins just went rogue. But you did endangered many bystanders during on the White Beluga, in New Milo, and also in the desert full of miramons leaving MC and others to their mercy.

Irritability

eeeeeeeh

well, the only thing I can think of is you don't give the time to explain your motivation to anyone else. Do you have the patience for that anyway ?

Inability to conform to social norms

You may be a lawyer but you still choose to be an assassin, a thief, a liar etc.

Lack of remorse

Yuuhime.

Just why ?

Marked tendency to blame others, or to rationalize plausible excuses

You sure are giving excuses to Tang Xuan at the end of Desolated Lands event.

so, 6 out of 7, you have a high sociopathy level based on wikipedia, and that's not even counting you would put your person above all else, even your own sister.

Yamato is a sociopath given it was due to his environment, not a psychopath, that he probably has C-PTSD and things that goes along. I'm sure in other circumstances, he would be a nice caring brother called Shouta. But he's Yamato.

I love to explore all facette of his character ♡

[bingbongsupremacy]

Wish You'd Make Me Cry

Pairing: Ellie Williams x reader

Warnings: Alcoholic Ellie, Arguing

Summary: From sweethearts to barely talking.

Idea from the song : Wish You'd Make Me Cry by UPSAHL

lmk if you guys want a Pt. 2? I have an idea of what to do but idk if I should make one.

Pt. 1 Pt. 2 Pt.3

*Not Proof Read* TLOU Masterlist

*****

I don't know where it went wrong. Things used to be fine. It used to be us against the world. We could handle anything that was thrown at us. All we needed was each other.

For a long time, all we had was each other.

How things change.

Somewhere along the way things changed. We stopped talking. Stopped hanging out. Stopped being around each other.

We used to think we'd be together forever. A power couple. Ellie and I against the infected. Now we barely kiss. We're luck enough to pass each other when shifts change.

My keys jingle against each other as I open the door to the house. The only light comes from the lit fire cracking softly in the living room. I kick off my shoes by the door, shutting the door behind me.

Ellie's body is lazily propped up on our shared couch. She nurses a bottle of liquor she found in her right hand, her left one tucked behind her head. She always manages to find a bottle of fucking alcohol. She glances up as I walk in, barely moving. She sends a nod of acknowledgement my way before taking another swig from her drink.

I sit down on the chair across from her, my gaze on the fire ahead. Like hundreds of nights before, we sit in silence, staring at the burning flame. Every once in a while the slosh of her drink interrupts the rhythmic crackling of wood.

" How did we get here. " My voice breaks through the thick silence.

I look over at Ellie to see her eyes staring at me. Empty. They look empty. No light. No happiness. No joy. Just empty. Completely different then the eyes of the girl I knew years ago.

" I ask myself all the time, " I continue. " how the fuck did we end up here. "

Ellie doesn't respond. Instead, she takes another drink.

" We used to be all over each other. Now we barely talk. What the hell happened. "

I wait for her to respond. Her eyes return to the fire.

" Ellie. " I press.

" I don't know what the fuck you want me to say. " Ellie mutters. " Shit changes. People change. We got older. "

" I just want you to talk to me. " I let out sigh from frustration. This isn't the first time I've tried talking to her. She refuses to fucking talk, insisting we do it another time. Eventually she ends up retreating to the room.

Ellie lets out a frustrated breath of air. " Fuck, Y/N. We've had this conversation a million times. How many more fucking times do you want to talk about it? "

" I just want to have a conversation where you actually participate. " My heart begins to pound. Not like the pounding I used to get when I first saw Ellie. It's not from excitement, it's from anger.

" I DO participate. " Ellie's voice gets slightly more aggressive. " You just don't fucking listen. " She takes another drink.

My eyes narrow. " Can you talk without fucking drinking for five fucking minutes? "

Ellie's eyes snap to mine. Annoyance clouds her jade eyes. " Oh fuck you. " She stands up and heads towards the direction of the stairs. She's leaving again.

" Ellie. Ellie! " I call after her, beginning to chase after her.

Ellie snaps back around. " What the fuck do you want from me, Y/N?! I don't know what to do here! What the hell do you want! " She yells.

A shiver runs down my spine. This isn't the girl I fell in love with. " I just...I just want you to make me feel something. " I say quietly. " I want to look at you and I want to feel the same way I did five years ago. I want to be able to talk to you without you immediately running away from me. I want us to be able to look at each other for longer than three minutes. Fuck, Ellie, I just want you back. " My voice lightly cracks.

Ellie's hard eyes don't waiver. " I'm not the same person I was five years ago. You need to get that through your fucking head, Y/N. We never should've gotten married. You wanted that. Not me. "

With that, Ellie turns back around. Instead of heading upstairs, she slips on her shoes and coat. She slams the door behind her, leaving me alone in our dark house.

I sit down on our couch, staring down at my hands. The band that once sent warm feelings through my body when I looked at it, suddenly starts to feel like a heavy weight on my hand. The memories attached to the ring seem to haunt me the longer I look at it.

Without a second thought, I make a decision. I don't know where the fuck Ellie went, probably the Tipsy Bison, but when she gets back, I'm not going to be here. I'm not going to be stuck in whatever the fuck this is anymore. I've tried. I've tried so fucking hard.

I grab my shit and make it back to the door. I take one last look around the house before putting out the fire. Pictures of Ellie and I liter the walls. Pictures Ellie drew of me when we were dating lay framed on the mantel.

As the house is submerged into darkness, I can feel a piece of my heart break off.

We just weren't meant to be.

[vroerry]

Hi. So, to start, i dont know the difference between oneshot and short fanfic, im not used to those words yet, im sorry ;n; so make it whichever one of those two you feel like and would have fun with! Id like a nice little story to read, not just headcanons alone if possible.

Ive been thinking about this idea that takes place after Kazuichi Soda gets yelled at by Sonia in the Dangan 2 game, and they all storm off in their own directions. But then, reader tries to go comfort Kaz and one thing leads to another~

I suppose a touch of angst would be appropriate for such a story, but i dont want it to be just that, or too focused on that. Thats the lead up to the NSFW, which is the focus.

Reader goes and finds Kaz in the night after everyone went seperate ways, comforts him, they talk, hes probably a bit snippy, but then calms down. These 2 were buddies, not dating, but then all the ~stuff~ happens, and, you get the rest. Sexy stuff ought to cheer the man up lol. You fill out the "how" of this scenario. Howd they end up in bed? Have fun with it.

Im sure reader would feel bad for Kaz, not wanting him to be in distress. Maybe reader has been secretly pining for Kaz, but that doesnt HAVE to be a detail, im kinda making this all up quickly, throwing in lots of details, and you decide what sticks~ The others on the island didnt see each other for the rest of that night, so they could definitely get alone time no problem. Maybe after he calms down a bit, reader comes up behind him and hugs him, sweet and somber.

Idk about location, because the others would be in their cottages, but the motel should be free at this point, so maybe there so they can be loud and not care.

Can i PLEASE have reader taking kaz's hat the morning after because her hair is so messed up, like "gimmi that shit, your hair looks fine as hell, im the mess today i need hat." Maybe something in the end about them trying to act natural the next day around the others, you know? Perhaps some hickeys gave it away or somethin, whatever you think up and wanna write is cool.

Gender neutral or female reader is cool if ya dont mind. And idk what genre to label it as like you asked in your rules. Slight angst with mostly NSFW? Idk how to genre, i apologize ;-;

Thank you for reading, i look forward to your future works, whatever youre inspired to do is cool. Take it easy<3 ~Tiara👑

I'm so freaking sorry for the wait😭 My life took a heavy turn, but I'm fine now!

When I tell you I took my sweet time to play around with this scenario~

Also, difference between short fanfic and oneshots: It might be made up by me??? For me a short fanfic is multiple parts, 10 at tops, each part being around 1600 words at least?? So the entire fic is maximum around 16k words.

But now, to the fanifc:

A comforting touch

Kazuichi Souda x fem reader, NSFW

words: 1380

Another day on the islands, another day to end in chaos. Just the usual Jabberwock Island drama in the middle of a damned killing game.

Everything was fine, everything was going well, until Kazuichi decided to express his love for Sonia again. And this time, it did not end well. And you were the one that was in charge of finding Kazuichi. Again.

"Just make sure he doesn't do anything stupid" Hajime asked you and sent you off on your way.

"I will!" you replied and took went on a journey to find your buddy. Ever since you've ended up in this situation, he made you weirdly comforted. His goofiness, his fun aesthetic, everything. Except for when he was driving Sonia, and after that everyone else, insane. Even you struggled to understand his obsession with her, but brushed it off. It's his business not yours. It's his business not yours...

When you started looking for him, the sun was still up, but soon the moon took his place on the sky with the stars and you were completely clueless about his whereabouts.

"Let's see..." you thought to yourself. "What did I miss...?" The locations quickly ran through your head. Library, check. Theater, check. Cottages, check. First island entirely? Check.

"The motel!" you said out loud. "Well, I doubt he'd be there but... it's worth a shot" you wondered and decided to give it a go. You made your way to the third island and immediately headed for the motel. The abandoned looking building looked the same as ever, and the smell of musk was just as strong as before. You slowly opened the door and called out to the seemingly empty building.

"Kaz? Are you here...?" you walked inside and started looking around. "I just want to make sure you're okay, bud... I've been looking for you for hours..."

No response.

You continued to walk around the dusty place, stopping every now and then in front of doors.

"Kazu? Please be here, I have no other idea where to look for you... We can do whatever you want... Just be okay..."

Still nothing.

You sighed.

"Fuck, maybe I was wrong..." with a heavy heart you started to get to the exit. "I hope he's alright..." as you started walking away, a door behind you opened. You quickly turned back to see Kazuichi standing in the doorway.

His hair was the usual mess, he cried his eyeliner off.

"I'm sorry" he mumbled. "Were you that worried?"

"It's okay! Oh god, I finally found you..." you said and went back to him. "Thank god you're okay... Would a hug be okay?"

"Yeah..." he replied and you wrapped your arms around him and so did he.

"It's going to be okay... I promise, Kaz... You'll apologise to her tomorrow and everything will be fine..."

"I will..." Kazuichi said. "I... i went overboard... I didn't want to upset her..." he slowly let go of you.

"I suppose... You don't want to go back there, right?" He shook his head in response.

"I don't want to be near anyone right now... Well, aside from you, I guess... But if you don't want to stay, you can go back..."

"No, it's fine" you brushed the offer off. "I'll stay here with you... I promised the others and myself that I'd keep an eye on you..."

"Alright then.. I guess... we can stay here..."

"Do you... uh... want to talk about everything that happened..?" you ask. He stays silent for a bit.

"Let's sit down..." he said and went back to the room he was hiding in. You followed him.

He sat on the bed and gently tapped the space next to him.

"C'mere... Let's have a... chat..." he smiled at you gently and rested his back against the wall. You sat next to him with a curious look as he speaks up.

"So... I know I fucked up... Miss Sonia didn't deserve that" he mumbles, looking down with a guilty expression. "But at the same time.. I... don't really know how else to show her how I feel... My parents never really... taught me how to handle emotions... But it doesn't matter now... She's got real close with that demon lord or whatever he calls himself"

"Kaz..." you sigh. "I know, rejection sucks but... I'm sure you're going to find someone that knows how to take care of you, someone who loves you for you..." you smile at him and pat his shoulder. "Even if that person isn't Sonia... There must be someone out there.."

"Where?" Kazuichi frowns. "I won't ever find my match and you know it... I'm like that one sock at the bottom of the drawer, always lonely and"

You suddenly press your lips on his, making him shut up in the middle of his dialogue.

"That someone is right here, Kaz..." you whisper to his lips. "I may or may not destroy our friendship but I don't care... I am that person..."

"Man... what since when why..." he starts asking every question that comes into his mind. Nonetheless, you quickly. make sure he stays silent.

"Just shut up and enjoy the moment" you kiss his soft lips once again, wrapping your arms around him. Pulling him close, not letting him escape your touch.

Kazuichi's eyes slowly flutter close, as he kisses you back, letting himself go under your touch.

Your hands start to wander around his chest. Slowly caressing each spot through his overall then zipping it down to reach under it...

"Are you surre this is a good idea?" he breathed out.

"Do you feel better?"

"Yes" he whispered.

"Then yes..." you kissed his lips again. "It is a good idea.." You smiled and slowly tugged his overal off his chest.

You now began placing passionate kisses all over him. Starting right under his ears, steadily working your way down his neck, stopping at the collarbone and then repeating the said path in reverse. Now going up, every now and then gently sucking on his skin, leaving hickeys. He let out soft sighs of pleasure, his eyes fluttering after each kiss.

"Let me take care of you too" he tried to switch things up but you stopoped him with a firm expression.

"I am the one comforting you" you took your shirt off, making him blush and his eyes lit up in excitement.

"Actually...Keep going" he said with sparkling eyes, as you went down on him with a sly smile. You kissed him like there was no tomorrow, making sure all of your love went through. All the love, admiration, and comfort. Everything that was boiling inside you whenever you thought about Kazuichi But despite your order, his hands began wandering too. Pushing your clothes down, guiding you into his lap.

"Ride me" he pleaded.

"Any time" you replied and began grinding your hips. Back and forth in his lap. Kazu groaned, feeling the pressure of yourbody. His patience on edge, his mind wishing for the clothes to disappear. Both of you bit down on your lips to keep the silence. , Trembling, shaky breaths leaving his mouth he spoke up again.

"We can be as loud as we want... Just please ride me already" he pleaded again, whining under you. He was so on edge, so impatient. So ready for everything to come crashing down.

"I’ll get right to the point, I promise...” you continued to rock yourself back and forth, putting more and more pressure on his body. Even you started to tremble and placed your hands on his chest for support. Gently grabbing onto his small pecks, feeling muscle tensening at your touch. 

"Don't just promise me. Do it"

The next morning the two of you were walking back to the first island. Hand in hand, smiling as the sun was coming up.

"So.... We're together?"Kazuichi asked.

"I am not sure" you replied. "All I know is that..."

The two of you entered the first island. You quickly grabbed his hat and placed it on your head.

"That I need your stupid hat... My hair is a mess..."

"Mine too!" he tried to get his hat back.

"Yours is alway a mess, Kazu. Mine not" you giggled. He rolled his eyes.

"Love you dork,.. And your comforting touch..."

[robotsrawesome64]

Idk if your still accepting match ups for COD but here you go.

I’m a Gemini, ENFJ, trans Masc, He/Him, I’m a bit mouthy with a lot of different hobbies. I cuss a lot and pick at the skin around my thumbs as a nervous habit. I have a hard time opening up to people and tend to flinch when I get touched by someone for the first time. But once I do get friendly with you I tend to make more sexual jokes and crasser humor.

I wear glasses and usually long pants with sweater or tank tops with open button ups.

I’m Aromantic but Allosexual which means I have a hard time forming romantic attachment with people, but I wouldn’t find physical intimacy or affection.

I’m a cuddler, I love blankets and stuffed animals. I like music and writing. My favorite animal is a bunny.

I love cooking for people and others. So in the COD universe I would probably be just a civilian who works at a restaurant or something.

I’m fine with light angst and I prefer someone from task force 141.

Thank you so much for this!

S-S-S-S-SIMON

TWS: Implication of abusive home life, physical abuse scar, anxiety, picking, smoking(tobacco and weed), light drinking, aro dread (worry of being romantically liked), work stress (+reader shouts in kitchen), customer service, anger for shitty higher up, sudden snappy rejection to joke-brief mention, momentary disassociation+heat descriptive, gossip mention, momentary suggestiveness, depressivey thinking (PURP=SIMON) + Cuddly/platonic touchy Simon, aro4aro, hope this is ok and doesn't read too romantic, was thinking close squish vibes 😭💕 (im slowly learning; education welcome) Realistically sexual attraction would probz be a huge part but I cannae write it so feel free to mind blast the gaps

₊ ⊹₍ᐢᐢ₎ Young adult Simon begrudgingly picking up a kitchen porter job. A role in your kitchen- well, as far as anybody was concerned. You'd been promoted to sous chef fast in this crappy bar/restaurant hybrid joint, which would be surprising if not for the paint peeling off the walls and constant inconsistencies of management.

Such as: yet again, you are left understaffed on a peak day and YOU had to lead ship because your shitass head chef didn't show up. Whoop de doo. What's more, you're tasked with training the fucking new guy, who- when you first had to come find him- seemed to have an attitude with an entitled cocky sway and his hands in his pockets. But that wasn't important right now; you had shit to prep and fast.

₊ ⊹₍ᐢᐢ₎ Safe to say the day was a blur. You muttering rushedly and guiding him in and around, barely getting a chance to meet him and take the sight of him in; just cringing as you try to squeeze past the big guy without touching, to and from your station.

The most you got was your anxious glances over your shoulder to check everything was running; that he was doing his job. A flash of his tatted arm flexing to press down the pass-through dish washer, suggesting the patchy art went up further when his crusty spare uniform's sleeve would move slightly in the motion. Oh, uh- good for him. Focus up.

What you hadn't gotten the space to witness was how Simon's personal too-good-for-this ambiance had quickly flattened into his tall frame curling over the sinks uncomfortably. His head down, diligent and thorough, only daring to give you morbidly interested side-glances when you weren't looking. He was otherwise very tuned in to the sound of you barking arguably obscenely worded orders at the junior chefs, daze only broken when one was suddenly directed at him- in which he whipped his head up to obey with a croaked out "Yes, chef."

Which made you double-take; this wasn't that kinda snooty establishment. He almost made your stressed scowl turn to a laugh from the shock, but no, he seemed dead serious as he effectively completed your request.

₊ ⊹₍ᐢᐢ₎ Before you knew it you had survived the reckoning of unprecedented big tables and last-minute front-of-house promised function food, leaving your eyes glazed in the direction of the finally unmoving ticket machine after allowing your chefs break. The uncomfortable wet trickle down the back of your neck expanded your awareness back into your body: the warm flush from the kitchen's humidity; the sore realization of your fingers on your thumb; the..gaze on the back of you? Sure enough, Simon 'casually' turned his head back around to totally (/s) focus on his piled-up workload. The hums of machinery, radio and distant chatter all seemed tensely faint in the silence of you two mandatorily alone.

₊ ⊹₍ᐢᐢ₎ But hey, he definitely wasn't so bad. His gloomy, blunt countenance entertaining no-one (except maybe you, and a couple front-of-house girlies) when he barely bothered to stay after work for group drinks, etcetera. Don't get me wrong, he certainly had his own dry spark, but more often than not he'd seem to small-talk folks into a corner so he could back out and leave (especially with the girls). Sigh. Destined to never bond with the weird dude on a night out.

₊ ⊹₍ᐢᐢ₎ Or so that was your estimate, until mid adrenaline-filled panic from a work mistake, you see him over there reservedly wiggling to your music from the kitchen speaker as he worked. Or the first time he talked back to you in the kitchen, loud deadpan delivery as he teased you (to your co-workers' bafflement)- which just resulted in a loop of increasingly sweary quarreling, to Simon's probably-shouldn't-be growing smile to himself.

Thankfully, despite his words, he didn't fuck around. You could trust him with his role plenty fine. Or just trust him at work in general.

₊ ⊹₍ᐢᐢ₎ When your head chef finally decided to clock in and had the nerve to start talking you out on this and that- oh my god. You did your best, but come break your hand was already exasperatedly dragging across your face as you walked to your spot. Simon roughly there too, mid smoke. Probably due back soon.

He nodded up in recognition, letting you settle before potentially opening the floodgates.

"He's a twat."

If you wanted to just sit, he'd sit. Plenty same if you needed to talk, allowing you good, deep time to vent whilst ad-libbing in agreement at your head's absolute expense.

None would go unnoticed, nor the way how your nails kinda fucked up your thumb as you spoke. It's not like he'd be on your ass about picking, just...details. Conclusively, your strife had successfully absorbed over to him, and now he was just bubbling in sympathetic frustration at the unfairness at his teammates energy being wholly undermined, disrespected and taken.

One thing was sure, full seriousness, if you wanted to go to HR/etc. about it, he'd absolutely have your back.

₊ ⊹₍ᐢᐢ₎ Second thing: the next day when he clocked in, he pulled something fluffy out his bag. What's tha- aww. A fuzzy little plush white rabbit, how cute is that? Conveniently pocket size. You tease him, because that didn't usually seem to be his style, before he's casually plopped it in your hands.

How did he..? I guess a lot of public conversations happen on the clock, and that he was listening to yours.

It was..nice..but..? It wasn't a nice feeling in your stomach, anxiously fiddling with Pocket Bunny instead with an thousand yard stare as you processed your emotions. You liked him, definitely, but the thoughtful gesture planted that worry that he was romantically interested. To say the least, it's always such a headache feeling forced to put out a 'disclaimer' on your existence. Co-worker gossip wasn't helping.

₊ ⊹₍ᐢᐢ₎ So, you were brave. The pit in your gut uncomfortably hollowing further when he enthusiastically agreed to join for after-work drinks (because you asked), something he still barely does.

What seemed like excruciating filler time later, you're finally mostly alone, squeezed into some semi-sticky booth-table-thing. Simon leant over to you, squinting through the erratic dim, dark purple lights and shouting conversation over rumbly generic club music with his other hand on his drink.

Eventually you blurt out back the topic of your worries. Kind of. Not exactly confessing, but making the questions of orientation inescapable. Your heart just pounds faster when he pronounces back a, "WHAT?", leaning closer, 'cause he can't hear for shit in here- making you double down and repeat yourself until he's looking at you a little dumbfounded. How the dancing lights reflected pure off his wide dark ones was stressful until he burst out into a ramble, that piece by piece, seemed to resemble your own thoughts. Like a description for aromanticism by someone who didn't know the term. Your tension relievedly, gradually breaking and melting off. Adrenaline, however, still there as you bounce back in educational agreement.

It was like a weight had been lifted, truly. For him too apparently. The hypocrisy of the head chef being back wasn't as bad as previously thought if it meant more time slacking off with him. Sarcastic, bawdy back-and-forths in the kitchen that actually got him to crack into a proper chuckle (and got you both told off). Just shit that shouldn't be said that Simon was unblinking at, just returning that attentive amused look that got you through the day.

₊ ⊹₍ᐢᐢ₎ So much so that Simon actually picked up more shifts. Something he was hesitant about from the workplace itself, but he needed the money, and being out the house was very welcome and having a friendly face there made it not-so-bad.

₊ ⊹₍ᐢᐢ₎ Or-finally- someone to side-eye at their peers and heads weird shit. Better yet to back you up, when Simon spoke out for you a couple of times. Someone to babble, pace and rant to outside in their own little break spot whilst he smoked.

₊ ⊹₍ᐢᐢ₎ More shifts meant seeing each-other more, all of them. So when you eventually crack, from just life in general, or the last straw from the kitchen, he'd meet with you as soon as he could, offering a presence, a hug.. anything you want.

₊ ⊹₍ᐢᐢ₎ His hugs are really fucking good. Cozy as hell. You can bury your face in the crook of his neck or his chest and he wouldn't flinch, just hugging you tighter, patting your head and stroking it. He's warm. Especially if it's after work and he's wearing that black thick hoodie he always does- omigod it's so soft. Well, not the most expensive fabric ever, but his presence makes it comfortable. Plus a lil' kiss on the top of your head if that's your thing.

₊ ⊹₍ᐢᐢ₎ If that's something you both fall into, he jumps at the opportunity; touch-starved as fuck.

Leaning arms crossed over the bar to hover next to you, lurking over you; hugging your waist while he's waiting to go post-close; holding your waist for a sec to brush past you in the kitchen. From what was meant to be a simple break and hug, one time they found you straight-up conked out laying in the drystore in eachothers arms.

₊ ⊹₍ᐢᐢ₎ He always waits for you until you're ready to leave together. Which might mean Simon with his hands in his pockets, having to sneakily get probed for the nature of your relationship by gossip-ier coworkers. To which he shrugs and deflects something or other. It wasn't any of their business (nor was he sure). Boys will be boys, they guess.

₊ ⊹₍ᐢᐢ₎ But yeah. In pitch black night, almost every night, he escorts you home if you let him. Holding hands if you want. Sometimes smoking a joint. A stupidly lengthy journey (for him) to your doorstep and back to his, whether you drive, do public transport or whatever. He disguised it as casual good companionship. He didn't want to be creepy, its just.. that flicker of reluctance in his eyes when you got to your destination gave you the impression he was purposefully putting off having to face his home.

₊ ⊹₍ᐢᐢ₎ Days pass. Weeks become months. New people rotating in and out of the team. The days get longer, welcome spring breeze stilling to more humid heatwaves. But he's always there.

₊ ⊹₍ᐢᐢ₎ One new thing about Simon: he was off sick for a few weeks, and now he's back. But he's almost always wearing a surgical mask? He didn't seem sick anymore, I mean..maybe a little more mellow, then snappy, not as into your banter as usual.

₊ ⊹₍ᐢᐢ₎ So one night he's walking you back, sweating through that dumb mask- which he switched out to a black one he keeps using- you invite him in. Sleepover, or something?

He's surprised maybe, but after using the last of his energy for a subdued cautious sweep of the place, he's exhausted. He double-bounces backwards back on your bed, still adjusting his mask back up from the movement, looking up to find an adorable welcome menagerie of stuffed animals.

It almost makes him smile. First proper one in a while as he looks over to you and takes in the sight of your room, hand subconsciously stretching out to reach for your knee and rub circles. Oh, and to snatch that little bunny out of your pocket, hugging it to him instead with a smirk. Bonus points if he pisses you off.

With the blankets soft against his head and side, he got an idea. Unraveling them, gesturing you closer to properly wrap you in his arms and nuzzle down into the cozy bed situation. With bunny, him and the whole gang. Maybe you could go to sleep like this. But, come on, surely without the mask-?

He caught your wrist at even an indication of the thought of it, gently holding it back down against his chest. From your close proximity you could finally see the beginnings of a big healing scar at the the top of his cheek where the mask moved slightly in his vague refusal. Ah.

₊ ⊹₍ᐢᐢ₎ There was a lot of unkind things in this world, but Simon was not. (Uh, to you at least.) You could only give his hand a reassuring squeeze in the hopes that life would lighten for you both. And if not? At least you'd always have each-others back.

B-B-B-BONUS ROUND:

Steals your glasses and looks stupid in them.

Performs elaborate yet half-hearted puppet shows with your stuffed toys.

Periodically asks what you're writing now, squinting over your shoulder. His tones dry but he needs to be updated of the drama, damn it.

Exchanges the most would-be-an-eyeroll sideye of solidarity over at you when he seems to get flirted with romantically. Or fems in general. They just don't seem to get the hint.

Subtly acts like a space-making service dog for you in crowded places or if it looks like someone's gonna touch you.

photo cred~ @yumethefrostypanda

[saucerfulofsins]

Can you explain what happened?

I mean, it was my third strike. The first strike was when I referenced something I absolutely should have censored/trigger warned/not discussed at all; I fully acknowledge that I was in the wrong there and the conversation got away from me when it shouldn't have. I also received a very public callout and scolding, which sent me into a two-hour breakdown and to be quite honest, I'm still not really recovered from that. I take responsibility, which I did in the chat as well... and I still believe they should have dealt with that situation differently. This will come back in later, btw.

The second strike was when I referenced AI nudes I was exposed to on Tumblr against my will, which I did not realize was supposed to go into the NSFW channel - because contrary to what the mods seem to believe, not everyone is American or has American sensitivities towards what is/isn't NSFW and no cohesive list existed at that time. I had to ask about what the strike was for; the moderator pulled up that message which by that point was two days old.

This time, I woke up to see the server gone from my list. That's it; no message from the moderators, nothing, so everything I say here is conjecture. It might be because of an exchange last night - which is what I assume it is about. However, based on past experience, it might also be something else entirely.

Anyway, I was talking about pegging with someone in the NSFW channel, and how technically that can be considered queer because it's not heteronormative. One of the mods assumed I was talking about all heteronormative activity and brought up gendered behaviour (which I don't think is inherently heteronormative, just gendered, but I digress). So yeah, this is the direct citation that followed: "Yeah dude i am talking about sex here. Idk I thought that was pretty obvious. So: sexual acts that deviate from the hetrosexual norm/what is commonly accepted as normal."

Apparently this meant I was forgetting there's a person on the other side of the screen. Funny, that, considering the way they dealt with me. And I didn't; I was frustrated because I don't really enjoy being singled out or having what I said pulled out of context, or having people interpret it in bad faith. After the warning, the other person went at me again and I told them I wasn't interested in continuing the discussion - which I suppose they didn't like? I guess they felt I talked back to them, when all I did was end the conversation.

Like. Sorry. What was I supposed to do? Stay completely neutral when the mods aren't? When someone is giving an incredibly bad faith interpretation of what I said?

Or is this just, you know, them wanting me gone because they don't like me. That's fine, by the way, but I'd have appreciated the honesty - and maybe don't run a public server if you want people who think the exact same way you do. I don't think the moderatorship in that server is particularly good; I don't love the idea of discussing how 911 characters are allowed to fuck up and do better the next time or how shit most of the parents are, while at the same time the moderators act high and mighty, doling out warnings and immediate punishment in the same tone my parents used when I was a kid (not just towards me, I've seen the same thing happen to other server members). Like, what's the point of scolding and shaming someone in front of the entire server - because they had us respond with emojis to know people were reading - if it's not to exert your power and shame that person in particular? I understand that what I said provoked strong emotions; I also believe moderators should at least keep their own emotional response from dictating their behaviour.

Anyway, that's my reading of the situation. I'm sure if you were to ask them, they'd offer a different story. That's okay; they're allowed to. I just don't think these people should be in charge of a server, if this is how they choose to act. Like, don't talk to adults as if they're children. In fact, don't talk about how there's a person on the other side of the screen when you're using your power to willingly trigger someone - what else do you think is going to happen if you put someone on blast? And what else do you think will happen if you ask a queer person about their definition of queerness in the most antagonistic way possible?

[spookyrobbins]

callie is absolutely guilty for sleeping with him in s7, but mark was definitely sober enough to not be opportunistic and use her vulnerability to his advantage. the reality is that he did that more than once throughout their friendship. callie was just too happy to have the “hot” guy after her to notice or care. he’s a shitty friend and nobody can convince me otherwise. i’m still pissed they went that direction, cause it led to him being even more involved in their relationship than he already was. like idk but the older i get, the more i realize and understand just how toxic he was to everyone around him. grey’s thought they had something with their friendship and the co-parenting shit, but it’s just so gross looking back at it. and eric makes it worse. he can be just as gross.

also, did they ever really say how many times they slept together? the way they framed it kinda made me think it might’ve happened that night and the morning after before callie put a stop to it. like i don’t know if she had it in her to completely go back into a fwb with him after arizona. i think she realized quickly that it made her feel worse and that she missed her even more than before. it didn’t work for her anymore.

idk maybe i’m trying to give callie too much credit.

the whole bmoc aspect of mark for callie frankly is under discussed. we know that callie was at least somewhat awkward in high school (who wasn’t lol) and also seems to put a lot of weight/self worth into her relationships. she pursues (what i’d consider) “safe” relationships for the most part. george is this sort of dorky, awkward guy who should be safe and she’s out of his league so he should be happy to be with her. penny defs also falls into that category (plus the added aspect of the professional differences which is a whole other discussion point). erica was less safe bc she was a woman but she was also sort of safe in the way that callie was kind of her only friend at the hospital (erica openly says she doesn’t like most people but she likes callie). i think arizona was safe in a way for callie early on in part bc she was the one who initially pursued callie and then pursued her again after changing her mind. but also arizonas more complicated for callie in other ways

mark though, callie thinks mark is out of her league for a relationship. she thinks it’s fine to be friends or friends with benefit. but i don’t think she ever considered a romantic relationship in part bc she thinks mark is out of her league. mark on some level represents all those popular guys in high school who didn’t pay attention to her and she probably had a crush on one of them. but mark is her friend, he wants to have sex with her, he’s into her. and that validates a lot of things for callie.

and for mark, i kinda think it’s a bit high school too. he likes the idea of having this sort of permanent fwb who soothes his ego and reassures him that he’s a good person or something. it’s a bit like the hot football player stringing along the nerd in a way.

and to that end, i don’t think mark ever liked callie in relationships. maybe it’s just because he and lexie are broken up and he’s lonely, but whenever he’s single he’s significantly more involved in calzona and regularly needles at issues in their relationship (babies and africa most notably) like it goes beyond trying to offer callie advice, he actively prods at things.

which is all to say that i don’t think it’s out of the question at all that mark was more aware of what was going on that night. he was opportunistic. he liked having a fwb thing with callie. arizona wasn’t in the picture and callie wanted sex. and mark gets exactly what he wants

i’m really not sure how long they were hooking up. arizonas gone for what like 3ish episodes? and there aren’t tons of date markers in s7. if i had to guess, i’d say arizona was max gone for 4-6 weeks, minimum like 3 weeks. i don’t think it’s out of the question to go with mark and callie only hooking up twice. but i think you could also work it out with them hooking up over the course of a week or a few sporadically and callie’s never that into it but she wants to not be broken hearted and thinking about arizona even if it makes her feel worse. (plus i don’t think it’s out of the question to consider that callie was maybe subconsciously trying to punish arizona by sleeping with mark knowing of her insecurity there)

[multiplicity-positivity]

autistic anon here again. I didn’t include this part in the first ask because it would’ve been a bit too long if I did but. I guess I’ll go on a bit of a vent/rant now.

I have this thing where. Idk how to explain it. I guess my personality kind of changes?. Or at least the way I handle my emotions does? I thought it was masking at first but it was making me unable to really “fit in” and being ostracized regardless of how hard I tried or how I tried to change how I acted, so then I found emotional dysregulation and realized actually I’m terrible at masking. Except I do mask over text because I change my speech style based on communities/people.

But with my emotions sometimes I’ll be more angry and upset and other times I’ll be more patient and informative and other times I just panic really easily and other times I’ll just shove away any problems to try and be fine and I just don’t. Really know how to explain it?. I don’t know if my personality itself shifts because I don’t know if I *have* a personality due to all of these different emotions. Which I thought was a masking thing but now I genuinely can’t tell. The best way I could describe it is unpredictable.

it feels. Less like different people controlling me and more like I myself change. It’s not just a mask like. Masking. It’s that my very way of handling my emotions changes and I don’t know why or how. Maybe it’s just a part of emotional dysregulation I’m not sure.

Like even just taking tests or quizzes for fun. My answers can completely change within like days of themselves and not because I grew as a person but because I’m in a different “state/personality” from when I first took it?

I’m too disconnected to know if anything happens or if I get amnesia or anything from these things. I don’t usually even realize it it just. Happens. The only reason I noticed is because of how I was constantly ostracized for it no matter what I tried and how I genuinely couldn’t explain my personality. (And I think I’d explain it differently at times??? Like sometimes it’s more. Nothingness. And sometimes it’s more angry and impulsive. And sometimes more withdrawn. But I can’t. Remember? Right now I feel more empty so that’s the main thing I can remember due to emotional disconnect.)

I don’t know…. I don’t think I have obvious shifts and I don’t experience things in 3rd person so I never really considered any sort of multiplicity. But I can’t really explain how I change so much.

Can you. Experience different shifts/personalities. In first person? Like. Instead of someone else taking over your body. You become someone else? Or at least it feels like that?.

like. To explain.

Mental State #1 went into a panic and retreated, before going to bed.

Mental State #2 I woke up as. It completely dismissed anything related to the thing that panicked #1 in favor of remaining completely content.

Mental State #3 is very analytical and thinks about what panicked #1 without getting as carried away.

Mental state #1 is back again and more stable but still a bit. All over the place? I guess? And just does their thing. I think they’re more unstable from what I’ve been able to tell.

(I have more states than in the example these are just the ones I could identify. The main thing is that. Instead of my mindset changing or evolving. It feels like different people with different mindsets but I am all of those people in the moment but if you ask me to remember what I felt as them or specifics then idk you tell me. If that. Makes sense.)

honestly your guess is as good as mine as to whether this is just emotional dysregulation or something else entirely I do not know what this is. It’s not masking I know that for a fact.

Hey, so we’ll be honest here, these questions may be a bit outside of our wheelhouse and would be best directed towards a therapist or mental health professional. I suppose what we can say is:

Experiencing different emotional states, a broad range of emotions, or feeling different emotions at different times or in different situations, is normal, even for singlets. Most experiences different emotions and emotional shifts from time to time. Singlets can also experience conflicted emotions, and can be baffled when looking back at how they behaved in certain situations (“I can’t believe I acted that way,” “That was so out of character for me,” “I wasn’t feeling like myself at that time,” etc)

Some systems do experience switching and passive influence as “I become a different person” or “My personality changes completely” rather than “I switched with another person who took my place.” We’d venture to say that this form of experiencing switches is quite common. We also think that many singlets may experience something similar, especially if they have a personality disorder that may be influencing these shifts.

We will say that for many parts in our own system, we also do not experience life in third person. When we are dissociating or coconscious while another alter is fronting, it’s more like watching through my eyes and ears while someone else is in control. Life may seem blurry, hazy, muddled, or far away. And we do occasionally get this feeling of being outside of our body kind of floating above it. But personally, we don’t experience this “third person view” very often (just sharing some of our experience in case it may help).

If emotional dysregulation is a big problem for you, we’d really recommend attempting some work with dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT). It’s been really useful so far for our own system! You don’t have to find a DBT-informed therapist in order to do some DBT work on your own. We’ve gotten a lot of use from this workbook (<- hyperlink) which is available on Amazon.

Okay so in the end, yes, it’s possible for systems to experience switches as personality shifts as in “I become totally different people/my personality changes drastically.” However, singlets also may experience this. So ultimately it will be up to you to determine whether or not these experiences contribute to potential multiplicity for yourself.

Sorry if this response is confusing or rambly. We weren’t quite sure what all this ask is asking. But we hope something here will prove useful for you.

[seerofmike]

Mike's Media Medley--May 2024

hi welcome to mike's media medley where i talk about movies and games i experienced for the very first time this month yippeeeeee

feel free to give me recommendations for things i should watch or play! this month i did actually watch something recommended to me! here r the things i watched this month:

2024 movie/show releases: The Fall Guy, I Saw the TV Glow, Challengers

non-2024 movie/show releases: X (2022, recommended to me!) Bodies Bodies Bodies (2022)

games: : Little Kitty, Big City (2024), Hauntii (2024), Hades 2 (2024), Birth (2023), A Way Out (2018)

here are my thoughts on all of them, in alphabetical order: movies/shows first, then games, spoilers for most.

Bodies Bodies Bodies (2022)

so i saw a trailer for this movie a while ago, where after a whole town's private things get leaked online they all go crazy and start killing each other and a bunch of teen girls are at the forefront being victimized by them and also potentially victimizing other people so i saw that Bodies Bodies Bodies was on netflix and decided hell yeah let's watch that and i kept waiting for the thing to happen

turns out that trailer was for a completely different movie but anyways

Bodies Bodies Bodies was. pretty fun i think! i was NOT very confident it would be good for the first five minutes because they played some godawful song at the beginning that went smth like 'i'm daddy as fuck' and i turned to look at my friend that i was watching it with and went oh this movie might be bad

luckily it got better. i really enjoyed the lighting choices i.e. having a lot of the lighting come from characters' phones or glowsticks, and while i definitely got the themes of paranoia when the ending twist was revealed it made me look back at the movie in a whole different light and appreciate it more.

i think the movie is at its best when its satirizing of gen z takes the forefront ("your parents are UPPER. MIDDLE. CLASS" rachel sennott you are so fucking funny) but i think the rest was a good time. i might watch it again. it's not like the bestest movie ever but it's fun with friends

70/100

Challengers (2024)

it wasn't *bad*, but i don't think i enjoyed it as much as other people did

i do think the messy relationship dynamics are probably the strongest thing it has going for it, and choosing to use tennis to channel subtext (and sometimes, Just Text) was interesting. the fucking. tennis POV shots went insane and there were some directing choices i liked. personally a big fan of whenever the movie pulls a wide shot of the audience and everyone else is moving their heads in sync trying to track the ball but zendaya just Kubrick Stares ahead

other than that. idk i just didn't really like any of the characters nor have any sort of emotional investment in them. and i do think some of that was the point. zendaya's character in particular being so obsessed with tennis; it's such a core part of her identity, and you can just feel the way she resents her husband. but then her husband sucks too and so does their ex bf and when the movie hinges on the outcome of the tennis match (both literal and metaphorical between the characters) and i don't give a shit about any of them and want them all to die then i think the movie just doesn't work the way it should because i Do Not Care

anyways the score was good but also very funny. two characters will just be staring at each other talking quietly and the score is going the fuck off

my final most controversial opinion is i think this movie got so much hype because it made u guys horny. honestly good for u. still didn't care for it tho. didn't *hate* it but i would probably not watch it again it was just Perfectly Fine. middling. Mid, the kids might even say

50/100

The Fall Guy (2024)

finally some good fucking food

honestly it kind of hurts my soul this didn't do well at the box office. as someone who wants to go into movies i really loved the 'we're making a movie' part of it, the frantic nature of trying to shoot a project where things just keep going wrong, the coordination and effort required to pull off stunts and effects like pyrotechnics or hell even just filming a car chase. mwah

it's also pretty funny. winston duke is in there and he's so fucking good. romance was Fine but i think it was really carried by a lot of the movie's funniest scenes involving the tension between Ryan Gosling and Emily Blunt.

between this and bullet train i just like the way David Leitch directs action. i don't normally rewatch action movies like this but i do think i'll watch it again in the future because you can feel a lot of the passion for the craft in here and that's what excites me the most about it

80/100

I Saw the TV Glow (2024)

GO WATCH I SAW THE TV GLOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW

mane. i think this movie changed my life unironically. idk i have so much to say but i dont want to spoil anything on the off chance someone reads this and wants to see it PLEASE go see it. two friends who were obsessed with a horror TV show in the 90s grow up and consider the possibility that it was More than that and there's so much about just. time moving too fast, feeling empty inside, gutted, latching onto this thing in their childhoods so hard as a form of escapism, things are not supposed to be this way and it really hits hard.

the way the movie looks is gorgeous, the color grading lighting and cinematography just give it this offbeat feeling. one scene in this movie is scarier than literally all of the horror movies i have seen this year.

my only complaint is the delivery by both main actors. it was definitely intentional but sometimes it just...drags. especially when you don't realize at first that it *is* intentional. it just feels like bad actors reading off a teleprompter at times. (ominous foreshadowing)

anyways go watch it neow

90/100

X (2022)

(sexual assault mention)

i didn't really like this movie tbh so i don't have a lot to say about it. i found mia goth's accent to be VERY distracting. i'm from texas and i do know quite a few older people who speak with a typical southern accent but hers was so exaggerated it was hard to take any part of the movie seriously. i knew what i was getting into before watching so i wasn't triggered necessarily by any of the movie's content but i still didn't enjoy it much. probably fun if you like slashers more than i do and don't mind seeing a naked grandma molesting multiple people

i think it was competently made though, so idk 30/100?

games:

A Way Out (2018)

was looking for a co-op game to play with my brother while he's in college so we settled on this one. it was like. Fine. i don't remember much that happens in it but the cooperative stuff was implemented well enough

i think the most interesting thing that happened the whole time was when we finally escaped prison and got to a bridge with cops on it. i said 'we should just get in a car and run the cops over'. my brother said we should find a way to move under the bridge. then like 10 seconds later our respective characters made our exact suggestions in-game and we both burst out laughing

Birth (2023)

Birth is a point and click puzzle/hidden object game and I enjoyed it quite a bit! it has a unique and weird, slightly off-putting aesthetic but that's really a lot of its charm. i love the weird crunchy/clinking sound effects everything has. sounds like. bones idk

i like the themes of the game but it doesn't really have a narrative, just some nice concepts/ideas to sit with. none of the puzzles were frustratingly hard and i only ever had to google puzzle solutions like twice (and one of those times it was just because i somehow overlooked the 'interactive' part of the puzzle, i'm sure if i saw it sooner i would've figured it out without needing to look it up). cute little game, definitely give it a shot.

Hades 2 (2024)

do i really have to say anything its hades fucking 2

you can pet a FROG. goty

Hauntii (2024)

hauntii is a twin stick shooter about haunting objects in your environment to progress through mostly linear paths and it looks and sounds beautiful. the art reminds me of houseki no kuni a lot and i was always impressed by it

impressed enough that i played it a couple hours despite not finding the actual gameplay particularly compelling. i think it has a sense of humor to it and visually its a treat but at some point i just got bored and set it down. i have an extremely low tolerance for boredom in video games though, some of you might find this to be a really chill experience

Little Kitty, Big City (2024)

untitled goose game but instead of a goose terrorizing a small british village you are a cat terrorizing a large japanese city

this game was cute! first thing i'm gonna say is the controls were frustrating sometimes and the camera got kinda wonky with certain actions, the platforming elements were also kinda wack sometimes BUT i could overlook most of that because of how charming the rest of it was

i met most of the other animal characters and thought they were cute too. big fan of the magician chameleon. tasks like knocking over jars just to be a menace, earning emotes that let u make a disgusted face, dedicated meow button...im a cat im a kitty cat and it was fun yippeeeeeee

i finished the game in about...6 hours? as in i climbed back to my apartment. it gave me the option to continue my game to complete everything but i was fine with all the content i'd done so far. i didn't 100% it but i'd collected a lot of hats and done a majority of the side quests. cute small game.

HOWEVER. very expensive for what it entails. 15 dollars max for it sounds good but this thing is going for 25 dollar. i'd wait for it to go on sale.

[thatseventiesbitch]

Hey, idk if you are doing T9S prompts but i though of a good one. Leia learning to drive and what Eric’s and Donna’s different reactions would be to driving with her.

This was a fun prompt! Thanks for sending it anon. Let's just say that Leia has my sympathies... learning to drive in Chicago must be awful! If you have a writing request, feel free to send it my way!

"Okay, Leia. Nice and easy now," Eric instructed his teenage daughter. He was in the passenger's seat next to her, and she must've been able to detect the tension in his voice and posture. "Let's take it around the block again."

"I've got it, Dad," she insisted, annoyed, as the Vista Cruiser crept through the alley at a snail's pace.

"Go slowly."

"I am."

"Slower."

"Dad," she gave him a disgruntled glance. "At this rate it's going to take an hour to go around the block."

"Then that's what it takes," Eric shook his head. "You've got to learn the basics, Leia."

She groaned, like she'd heard this lecture a few times. The car reached the end of the alley, and she pulled out inch by inch.

"Look for pedestrians," Eric cautioned her.

"I am."

"Put your blinker on."

"No one uses their blinker."

Eric scowled. "You do. Those are the rules of the road, missy, and they're meant to keep you safe. If - "

"Oh my god, Dad. Fine." Leia flicked on her blinker, cutting him off.

They sat waiting at the end of the alley, as a couple of cars passed by.

"Okay now," Eric said slowly, calmly. "When you're ready, Leia, you can - "

"Yeah, yeah. I've got it."

She gingerly navigated the car onto the street, turning at a sharp angle to avoid hitting a parked car.

"Good," Eric breathed out slowly. "Good. Now pull up to the stop sign. Make sure to come to a complete stop, Leia... Good..." He watched her turn her head, looking in both directions before she pulled forward. "Good." He smiled, relaxing back into his seat a little bit. "What do you know? You're a natural at this."

Leia smiled, bemused. "I know what I'm doing, Dad," she assured him.

"Oh you do, do you?" he returned sarcastically.

"Yeah." Leia shrugged. "Last weekend when I was driving with Mom, we went on I-90 and everything."

"What?" Eric's eyes almost bugged out of his head. "She took you driving on the freeway?"

Leia shrugged again, like it wasn't a big deal. "So? We wanted to go to the outlet mall." They'd approached a stoplight, and she glanced over at him. "Can I do that again?"

"Absolutely not," he made a definitive sweeping motion with both hands. "Today we're practicing making turns and stopping at stop signs."

Leia sighed. "I like Mom's driving lessons better," she mumbled.

"Well too bad. She's... banned from driving lessons until further notice."

Leia shook her head. "She was right. We shouldn't have told you."

[chaos0pikachu]

Ahhh I agree with your thoughts about The Glory. Like everything about MDE and JYJ should be excellent… two individually traumatized people teaming up for revenge. JYJ's outwardly happy pill character with an inner dark side sounds really interesting on paper. And I get the explanations of why they work and why MDE deserves some happiness in the form of devoted romantic love, but the overall execution of JYJ's character and their relationship was just not it. I think a lot of it probably has a lot to do with how LDH was directed or maybe it was just him being miscast. In Part 1, it honestly felt like he was just in a completely different drama from the main cast. It would have been more interesting if they made JYJ older to match SHK's age, with a younger version of him meeting MDE's younger actress. Maybe they didn't think JYJ's puppy-esque character would work with an older actor idk.

And I really dislike how his mom was the one to save MDE by basically being like "pls don't kys for the sake of my son lulz." Ok thanks lady. Though I think that's when it hit me that they're supposed to be in love/can't live without each other, but none of their scenes really convinced me of that? Like oh, she's living because of him/his revenge (and his mom's pleading)? Like ooohh ok. I just wish she had realized she wanted to live herself lmao. That the bonds she built with him, the former school nurse, and especially Kang Hyun Nam made her long for more and realize she wanted those connections. But I guess setting up/teasing JYJ's revenge was too juicy for them to pass up.

I did like that JYJ's puppy love-ness in Part 1 was like a bait and switch in the reveal that he's totally unhinged. Like, it's weird to me to see ppl be like "he's a green flag" when dude moved an entire ass city to be closer to the woman who had routinely ignored him and removed herself from him (save for the one time to ask him for help post go tutoring) without telling her. Like wtf guys that's a giant RED flag lmao but it worked in the end b/c turns out JYJ is like, a low-key obsessive stalker lmao which is fine (in context) it works (in context) but then the show kinda...walks back on it at the same time? Like JYJ's unhinged and down for murder and then doesn't murder a single bitch in this house wtf???

It kinda felt like the show didn't wanna fully go there with his character and keep him as pure as possible within the narrative to make him worthy of MDE? Idk I thought it was hella weird that he didn't even get to stab one single bitch after allllllllll that talk about stabbing bitches and in the end HDY killed one of the main antagonists of the show the heck!? Like I loved it, it worked for the narrative all hail out beloved DIFL but why couldn't JYJ get in on the action?

It did the worst thing for his character, made him boring.

What's ironic is I loved the actor in Hotel Del Luna and felt like he had way better chemistry and story with IU's char lmao I preferred him so much to the main lead of that show and yet here I am in this one rooting for the other guy cause narrative trumps all

I think he's a good actor and there were moments he def brought the creepy intimidating factor I just wish the show went there with the character.

I also didn't like his mom coming out of completely NOWHERE to "save" MDE and tell her to basically be the salvation for his son. Again, women as the saviors of broken men is so....meh. There were plenty of things I wanted to see from MDE in the ending that we didn't get - one just ONE more scene with her and Soo-hee's mom like?? - that was dedicated more to this long setup for a potential s2 and I found that really frustrating.

[notjusthespongenextdoor]

dawntrail discussion (lvl 100 MSQ, and overall)

idk ive generally been in a bad mood recently so im worried its coloring my perceptions too severely but my overall reaction to dawntrail is just kind of like. huh. yeah, okay.

like...it was fine. lots of fun stuff in it. but i didn't really get In to the story that much, and that makes me sad

i don't know where all the decisions got made considering this game is made by like two million people so ill try to avoid placing blame on anyone in particular but i really felt like the story was weird and disjointed. i went into it genuinely excited and openminded, trying to let myself take in whatever dawntrail had to give me without carrying expectations around because like. yeah, shadowbringers and endwalker were absolutely incredible. i doubt anything will measure up to them again, but that's okay, you know? it doesn't need to to be fun.

i really like wuk lamat and erenville, and came around to liking Bakool Ja Ja and Koana. I don't really mind that Wuk Lamat was around so much, because it quickly became clear to me that she is the "main character" of this expansion, and i'm okay with that

but i really feel like.....this should have been two expansions. the rite was nice at first but progressed way too quickly IMO and sort of "told" a lot of Wuk Lamat's development instead of "showing" it. Like we give her one pep talk and she's like cool i'm fixed now!!! her character just changed so quickly and while she's not that different of a person at the end, i'm not sure i really feel like her development was like. Earned, by the story. it just sort of happened.

i went into this with the expectation of it being, as was said, 'the best summer vacation ever,' so i really thought that the rite was going to be the whole thing, and like. i wanted it to. i wanted it to be relatively low-stakes and for all of us to just hang around and not have to save the world. i wanted to get competitive with thancred and urianger. i wanted them to drastically lower the stakes for this one so we could slowly build them back up again and not fall into the pit of always having to come up with massive world-threatening disasters to handle.

but no, of course we had to...deal with a threat to All The Shards And Everyone On Them....and again like, I liked a lot of the characters that were introduced in the second half but i didn't feel like we got enough development with them, ESPECIALLY with the whole concept of soul cells and the endless and all of that. it's like i could just Feel the weight of Shadowbringers and Endwalker on the shoulders of the writers and the themes coming back of like, oh we can't live forever the cycle of life and death is necessary and experiencing loss brings us together etc etc which is just like

no man we got it already skdjhfgsjkdfg like Endwalker expressed that concept in SUCH a powerful way there is simply nothing left to say on the matter. this was their chance to completely change directions and they. kind of decided to keep handling the same themes. except. worse, because just by definition everything is going to be worse than Endwalker.

like i really really did not feel like the Endless were explored to the extent they should have been and going around erasing them really left me with this feeling of like. uhhhhh. i know they're not like "living beings" or whatever but this doesn't feel right??? i feel like im killing a shitload of people without their consent????? like just because we had a single spokesperson in each section being like "it's okay i'm ready to go :)" didn't make me feel like it was okay to destroy everyone else??? like oh it's fine cause they don't have souls?? THE LOPORRITS DON'T HAVE SOULS CAN I JUST WIPE ALL OF THEM OUT? IS THAT OKAY S JDHFG

which like im not saying it was WRONG, obviously it was something that was inevitable as set up by the story but i don't feel like the inevitability of it and necessity of it was sufficiently like. emotionally integrated. like at the end the reasoning just seemed to be like 'well everything has to die and this is unnatural so pull the trigger piglet' like what. hello. could we explore the whole 'stealing energy' thing more and like, the strain it puts on the current living society to keep this thing going. like of course we're told how bad it is but...did we??? see it ??? like i guess we did but killing people in Tural felt to me like harvesting souls for soul cells not like....taking their life energy to sustain the endless....

aughghghghhhhhhhh screaming and yelling and crying. i was SO worried that the same thing was going to happen here that i felt happened in pandaemonium, where they set up some really interesting mysteries (the golden city, then the gate to the city, then the soul cells, and then the endless...) and just sort of. didn't follow through with the mysteriousness of it. i didn't feel a sense of surprise at any of them... sighs.

at least we got some cool characters out of it. and the dungeon and trial mechanics have been really fun for me. so i guess ill just enjoy the gameplay for now and hope for a more cohesive story in the future....

[hungerandthirst]

second program done – grade 4s again but from a co-ed school

these kids were soooo different from last week’s angels – i think this was genuinely the worst listening ability i’ve ever seen in a group of kids. we never once had silence, it was impossible to get their attention. and it was kind of cute because they all just liked each other a lot and wanted to talk to each other all the time but holy shit. even one minute of actual listening was not achievable.

this group was also a little bit like “too cool for school” and many of them were referencing memes etc which is so sad and disorienting to see from 9 year olds…

that said, at the end of the program we did a gratitude activity and got really genuine answers about like food, nature, family/friends etc so obviously some things clicked. i also got real engagement and insightful answers after the sit spot with my group which was interesting because i honestly didn’t think they would be able to handle it. but sometimes they surprise you

i definitely started the week in a funk and would randomly sink into despair whenever i had a minute to myself. this is the first job i’ve had where i haven’t had coworkers who became true friends (it’s only been two weeks but my only coworkers are three people in the mid 30s to early 40s range who are all my direct superior…..) obviously that’s just lucky on my part but i think it’s actually taking a toll that i just do the work and then I’m completely alone and i’m the only new person and there’s nobody to just like chat shit and process the new working environment with. it feels like being an only child again – i dont know anything and the three of them know each other super well and people are nice to me but there’s nobody to hang out with. and this makes it harder for me to pull off the energy i need to engage kids for 14 hours a day because i have no outlet for anything when I’m there. it’s kind of lonely.

last weekend i was sooooo anxious about canoeing and my walkabout and i had literally no reason to be it was completely fine. canoeing actually kind of pissed me off because nobody gave me any instructions and the tide was sooooooo low that it was so difficult and chaotic to launch…. then when we were trying to raft up with the other canoes i meant to tell the left side to do something but i accidentally said right so we went the wrong way and it just felt so shitty idk. and then when we landed the tide was still so low and my boat hit a sandbar so I had to push us back out and try again to come in and my hiking boots got full of water and i was actually just in such a bad mood. ugghhhhh it was literally fine i just was pissed off

because of that my boots were wet for the entire program and it was so uncomfortable. and now I need to figure out what to do because they smell foul

the weather was unbelievable like it was sunny as they got off the ferry and then it started raining as soon as we launched the canoes an hour later. then it rained and was freezing for 48 hours straight until we did our closing circle and as soon as they got on the ferry to leave it was sunny again…. audacious weather

my poor kids were soaking wet and freezing and we still had to eat lunch outside and they kept asking me why we had to eat outside and i was like girl i literally have no idea. we’re trying to cram 50 people under this tiny tarp can we not just find somewhere to go under cover or indoors like this is insane.

on that note like we literally just need more staff. trying to run programs like this with a staff team of literally 4 people is insane. even just one extra set of hands would make a huge difference and they have no backup plan if somebody gets sick/injured

i’m worried that one of the teachers gave negative feedback about me on the evaluation forms??? there was just some weird specificity in handing out the forms in our debrief meeting that seemed like there was something about either me or one specific other staff member. and that’s fair because i don’t think i did my best work this week but i do wanna know and it sucks because I have THREE BOSSES and NO COWORKERS so everybody just gets to know except for me

i don’t even know like…. in this job i’ve experienced a range from “i like this” to “i actively dislike this” which has never really happened to me at a job like this before. I’ve never once been like wow i love this so much!!! and it’s unusual for my to not enjoy work/being outdoors to the point that i just want to go home. it has its redeeming moments for sure and it seems to get better as the week goes on but it’s hard to not have coworkers that aren’t my superior

my main boss said i was really funny and everybody liked the characters i did this week 👍

got my first pay check and not a moment too soon

i am really looking forward to my summer job w the whales and i have a zoom call with the team on monday so that’s something to look forward to

the program this upcoming week is a completely new curriculum in a completely new location so i’m basically starting from scratch…… sigh.

only 5 more programs babe… it’s fine

[triforce-princess]

i went into it in 2021 after hearing many years of how it was the worst game ever, fully expected a mediocre game that wouldn't have much impact for me. but the more i played the more i saw an intriguing story, intelligent and concise game design, and characters with a lot of potential (especially fi, believe it or not). honestly, pretty much every game in the franchise fits this description. the only issue with skyward sword is people looked at the very minor flaws and blew them out of proportion. people in this fandom need more patience tbh, that's the main issue imo. there are a lot of underappreciated gems in this series

i know some common complaints might pop up in response to this so let me give my response to them now;

"the wii remote sucks, the motion controls are bad and i hated the low battery warning all the time" the wii motion plus is a pretty flawed device, you're not wrong. i did have a little bit of disruption having to recalibrate it semi-often. it wasn't often enough to ruin the game for me though. and besides, the motion controls in the switch version are actually a LOT worse, trust me. i actually couldn't finish the switch version with joy cons, i had to switch to pro controller (which is button controls only, no motion). as for the battery; i used brand new good quality batteries in my wii remote, and i only had to change the batteries twice throughout my whole playthrough. don't buy cheap batteries or reuse old batteries.

"fi is so annoying and she's terribly written" that's your personal opinion. i actually ended up finding her endearing and saw a lot of little moments where a hint of personality showed through her conditioning and it gave me a lot to think about. she has a lot of potential as a character that either they didn't have time to write about or maybe the hints towards her character development just weren't obvious enough to most players

"there isn't enough to explore in the game's world" idk personally i find a more focused experience a breath of fresh air in the current environment of every game having this massive open world with repeated puzzles and collectables so spread out that no one has the time to 100% complete the game. i still haven't 100% completed tears of the kingdom outside the story. i've been able to 100% complete every other zelda game. i like a game that respects my time and allows me to actually finish it

"i don't like that the characters have lips, it's so ugly" again that's your own personal opinion. you just don't like the graphical style, that's fine

"the game is too linear" this goes back to my point of there supposedly not being enough to explore. a linear game is not inherently bad, it's just a different style of progression

none of this is directed towards the user that replied to me, fyi, just wanted to give my thoughts on an issue that's popped up a lot in my life as a zelda blogger 😂 i love all of these games and i want everyone to also see the beauty in them

which is your favourite LoZ game and why is it Twilight Princess?

wrong, skyward sword. but twilight princess is really good too