#idk y this was my first thought
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silly early concept design outfit swaps
#meryl stryfe#nicholas d. wolfwood#vash the stampede#trigun#trigun stampede#my art#yeah idk LOL i just thought it’d be fun#tried going for more fashion illustration-y for the first one and then got lazy#anyways. not much to think about. but i do like meryl the punisher
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Mandatory relationship graph to get to know my ship(s) better. And yes, two graphs because I see DO and SWK as two different person and the dynamics would differ too.
Some thoughts
I have SWK listed up taller than DO - in my AU, the DO starts out being 160cm tall and then grows with each artifact he collects. It's also why in some of my art you can see DO being taller than Oz, or the same height as her.
By the time the journey comes to an end, Oz's hair has grown longer. She's still undecided about cutting it or not.
I don't think the DO has a high horny level, I think he is faaaar too focused on completing his quest of obtaining all the artifacts. But he does get flustered very easily when Oz sometimes grabs his hand or clings on to him cause something scared her, or when she compliments him.
DO does very easily get jealous though, he is a wee bit possessive. He does't like seeing other people or yaoguai get close to her, it makes him want to just wrap his arms around her and not let her go while glaring thousand daggers at the other person. He was not happy when Oz jokingly asked if the Yin Tiger is married and if not he would marry her.
DO and Oz switches between big and small spoon, although I think the taller DO grows the more he prefers to be the big spoon. SWK is the big spoon no questions asked ("You're such a koala sheesh." "I do not know what this koala you speak of is.")
With DO, Oz had lot's of different names to call him, mostly just to get his attention. "oi, you. Monkie. Kiwi. Peach. Luffy (kudos if you get the reference)".
With Su Wukong, it's mostly him that has the endearing nicknames for her, stuff like 樱花 (Yīnghuā, cherryblossom bc of her hair color), 心肝宝贝(heart and liver treasure), darling, princess, my queen.
I don't see Oz having a lot of nicknames for SWK though, she'll most likely refer to him with Wukong. If she is calling him The Great Sage, Your Highness, Your Majesty, she is being sarcastic.
There is no confession between DO and Oz, I think both are being far too busy trying to survive, with one trying to get all the artifacts and the other trying to go home. But there is no doubt that they care for each other and have become good friends.
SWK confesses first. My HC is that after the whole journey to the west + buddhahood + leaving buddhahood + gamble and plan his death + the experience and memories he gaines as DO traveling with Oz made him a lot more mature and appreciate the things he has in his long (immortal) life. And that includes Oz. Of course he still maintains a mischievious streak. He knows what he wants and he wants to be with her. He also knows that she has other shit to deal with, like the Celestial Court trying to put a leash on her now (because family history) and that she is still looking for a way back home, so he tell her how he feels, but that he understands she has other priorities at the moment, aaaand that he will continue to support her and be her friend, but also that he will wait for her because what is another 500 years of waiting ("yeah i don't think I'm gonna live that long.")
also also, SWK is definitely the hornier one. But he doesn't get jealous or possesive like DO does. He is very secure in himself and he trusts his partner. Ofc if someone is being pushy and makes Oz uncomfortable he will step in ASAP
I've also marked DO as having no relationship experience because I don't see him as having any, i feel like all his life he was preparing for this quest. But since he gets SWK memories after he finishes the quest, I do think that makes him having some experience? Especially since the game mentiones SWK and White Bone Demon were a thing, and he was im trever able to let her go and it was one of the reasons he left buddhahood. Idk about you but I do think that indicates a deep bond they had.
aaaaand that's it. Here is the empty template for those who also want to do it:
#szynkART#the ham talks#using my tumblr to write down all my hc and thoughts before I move on from this hyperfixation#ughhhhhhhhhhhh maybe I really should try to write fanfiction again#last time I did was 10-12 years ago during peak first Avenger movies and Fantastic Beasts#but also idk if anyone would read it.#I feel like nowadays people prefer reader Y/N fanfics over ones with OCs??#I remember *old man's voice* back in my days#there were barely any Y/N reader fanfics and it was mostly OCs and self-inserts#cepheus baskerville#black myth wukong#black myth wukong oc#sun wukong#sun wukong x oc#sun wukong x reader
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i love having a snzfucker girlfriend so much she makes me feel so attractive and special in moments that i’ve normally been made to feel gross and embarrassed and small, like i should be ashamed of things i can’t control.
not only does she treat me with kindness and patience when i’m having a horrible allergy attack and can do nothing but sniffle and sneeze, she makes me feel pretty and worth loving and even sexy and it’s so special and i’m never going to get used to it
#idk i’m just soft#our first night together i was falling asleep while still having a fit#and i had been stifling but i started drifting off and before i realized what was happening i had sneezed fully and really harshly#directly into the palm of her hand (which she had cupped and ready in front of my mouth and nose the second i started hitching)#god it was so embarrassing and i immediately sprang up and apologized over and over#but she just cooed and shushed me and told me that i had nothing to be sorry or embarrassed about#and got me back to sleep#and then the next day when i apologized about it again#because it really was like#a very spray-y sneeze directly into her hand#she told me how much it turned her on and how adorable she thought it was#sorry i’m so soft and a little tipsy and decently sick so#i sm feeling very emotional and i just have so much to say about my gf#god
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It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry
( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)
(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)
#I just realized I can call him dad easier than my real dad and now I understand why am I so damn attached to him#I always knew he was a parental figure for me#but now I connected the dots#How when u have an absent dad and a d34d mom a guy shows up in ur life#that tells u life advice that both of ur parents failed to do so#and makes u feel safe the first time in ur life#ofc ud become attached#i know for sure its unhealthy how much i love and miss him#he occupies most of my thoughts honestly#But how could i not cling to him so much when he was the only one who gave me hope in life#i try to keep going and even tho he is not here i keep telling myself whatever he taught me. i keep reminding myself he wants us to live an#bloom and be free#and that's what ill try to do#but you know somedays i wish i could just disappear and be wrapped in eternal happiness#its so fucking hard to pull yourself out of the slump man im so fucking tired im so so tired#somedays i wish id have the courage to off myself but i know that deep down i want to live and ive always wanted to live but i have no idea#how to live. i feel like i finally found a purpose and someone i love. but at the same time im always doubting myself and im scared of losi#g this little hope again and i know i should cherish and use it instead but each day i have this anxiety because rn i have nothing else if#lose this i seriously will lose everything atp. but ill still try bc rn its this or death so i should try im just damn tired yes anyways#sorry for being depressing some days just dont work out but thats okay#yes at the same time i want to get out of my head and try to find some friends but i cant deny that im highkey fucked up and i just cant le#go of my past and i still feel like that helpless unloved kid and idk how to form relationships this way. i dont trust myself at all so idk#how to trust others. and i feel like in order to find ppl that would love me i have to overshare abt my whole lifestory bc it still dictate#my life heavily. and since i met this band its better cuz im learning to deal w it and i want to heal from everything but yes at the same t#me who would wqnt to be friends w. someone that has like a year of life experience and 18 years of depression lol#so yes its complicated. bc i have friends but im like the funny friend. the one that is as shallow as puddle and has no problems but honest#y im genuinely sufferint qnd have been sufferinz all my life so i want to come out of my funny friend role. but that wojld mean i have to t#ll the shit i went through to all my friends but tbh it would be so random so ye. i do have a plan though. how it could work. But yes im ti#ed have been tired for 7 years now. But this time around i hope i can successfully get out of this torture cycle lol.#ok sorry this is what happens after puberty guys i could beva research case for a damn mental institute atp xdd
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ffffhfhfhhfhhhggghh
THE GUY EVER
#that one sasara should not be sideways#Ignore how one of them looks completely different idk what happened there but hes cute#Ive thought about him so much today#I drew him all over my school papers today#Surprisingly he was the first one i memorized how to draw how fun#I love him and his tupidness#Little guy..... Ouughghh.... So pathetic......#Tbh forgot how to draw his bangs but those look close enough imo#SASARA Y SASARA Y SASARA Y SARARITA Y SASARA Y SASARA#And many other sasaritas#Love this guys idk not much else to say besides im mentally ill for him sometimes#hypmic#hypnosis mic#hypnosis microphone#sasara nurude#Noctifan#Noctiart
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Mr loverman has been playing in my head for days.
Days.
Fucking. Why.
#I did listen to rick(y) several nights ago but goddamn it's like that doesn't even matter#It's not my favorite Ricky song it's just the first one I heard bc banana fish#So I've heard it too much. Too much man.#I feel like buried in Venice is more satosugu but that's bc Mr loverman is eijis song for ash#If I didn't know banana fish first idk what if feel#.... I expected both those anime to be stupid and gay and not so deep and emotional lmaoooo#Which is frankly an honor. Not often that I have such deep phases w anything#Jjk fanon tiktok gave me the wrong impression#Along w banana fish thumbnail#What I get for watching anything for the art style knowing nothing else#Like that one time I thought I was watching a documentary (was not even docufic or found footage I just found the movie from a fkn meme) and#It was a horror movie#...... I might have been stupid#Mr loverman#Banana Fish#Satosugu#Ricky Montgomery
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looking on at the ✨hype✨ about last stage like
#i wanna be excited about it too!!!!! lemme in~~~~~~~~~~#maybe it’s just bc i didn’t listen to the ‘loid version on the koishiteru album but i think im not as excited about it as i should be lmaooo#on jp twt there are fans screaming about last stage and i. feel kinda left out ngl??? fomo’s hittin’ like a truck and idek w h y#but me? im just clinging to meoto to ✨carry on✨#idk why but it kinda sounds like that song aka***ki enstrs sang to beat r****ts to a pulp in the anime#i dont even like enstrs anymore so idk why that song was the first thing i thought of when i heard the preview help#in any case!!!!! i hope the rest of the new songs get mvs!!!! especially meoto!!!!!!!!!!!!#going by the love chuchuchu(chu! kawaikute gomen—) im p sure that’s gonna be the moge mv lol#wont be surprised if their outfits in the mv are the same ones that they’re wearing in the moge-ilustrated album standees…#if that is indeed how the oshi no mahou mv is gonna go… all of you will now owe me tree fiddy >:) if not nothing happens idk#im very much looking forward to seeing where the completely new direction of upcoming lxl songs is gonna take us though#(p r a y i n g for lxl falling for each other in 4k hd p ls—)#g o d i should really get some sleep my innate state of crabbiness is creepin’ in the tags here too aaaaaa
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motherfucker i got another fic idea.
#sainz baby sister.#i know he has a sister but another one#maybe like. scandal fling w like charles or lewis or something idk#it’s half a thought bc carlos is being called el matrador#matador* apologies#and i thought#el matador y la matadora#is la correct. i think im mixing it with spanish.#i’ve gotten finish my drafts first (as well as looking in a mirror) but trust this will be written
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rlly tho. did anyone ever sit down and have a talk w george lucas about the v obvious implications of calling someone master
#like idk if its a fag thing. but to me thats crazy#like y are u calling a man master if u dont want him to *** *** **** ** **** **** and **** **** *****#like obv he has to have at least thought of it Once. well. im not complaining. fits my agenda perfectly#if u saw the first version of this post. no u didnt (it had a typo)#sw
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Cary Elwes is hot. I GUESS I'm going to watch all his movies
#wanted to check out saw for years bc of the gay bathroom gifs (without knowing it was him) but had to get over it being one of my ex's faves#also him in ella enchanted did something to me as a kid. again i also thought he was just some dude idk 6 y/o me didn't look up actors#finally watched the princess bride for the first time last week and here we are 🧍🏼♀️ i apologize for the dilf posting in advance#mel talks
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hmmmmb private rites. what did everyone think
#guys was it bad i think it was kinda bad :(#i loved our wives & her short story collection but this just didn't connect with me idk what it was#it felt sort of fanfic-y in writing style which sounds mean lol but it really read like someone trying to imitate her writing style based#off of her first two bookswhich is crazy because it is literally by her lol. the characters felt a little tropey especially jude & like#maybe not my place to be discussing nb representation my own weird gender feelings aside but they felt like such an undeveloped paper doll#of a character. soo weird like they were only relevant to reflect the protagonists and i thought maybe that was because the perspective is#from the main three sisters but even when we got jude's perspective they didn't feel like a real fleshed out person. idk idk. and the endin#i was warned the book falls off towards the end but i hadnt been enjoying it all the way through so by the end i was like. yeah that tracks#i'm bummed about it lol idk maybe i'm being too harsh ive seen a lot of positive feedback
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#personal#lmao around this time last year i decided to give up on him n LMAO girl if only you knew#i should have just talked to him but djdjjdjdjd idk it felt weird. but he even like. complained one time that we didnt talk all summer#like LMAO..... bro its two ways. u could have messaged me too xjdjjdjdjdj#tho to be fair i think he did show up to a dinner but i wasnt there bc i had just had wisdom tooth surgery n was 1. blown up like a balloon#and 2. so high on pain meds i couldnt function JFJDJJDJDJDJDJ#n e way whatever jdjdjdjd im just laughing at myself bc how did this man become my closest friend from college Zhfnnddnnd#our relationship is so weird. not in a bad way but in an unexpected way#we sat beside each other an entire semester n never talked til the last day like thats so FUNNY IDK#i even said to him that time. bc we were talkin in the hallway n went to sit for the exam n sat in our regular spots of being one seat awa#y and i was like... you know its so funny that we sat beside each other all semester and only talked today#and he was like.... hahha yeah#i was gonna introduce myself but it felt so stupid JDJJDJDJD#i didnt even know his name LMAO#i had him narrowed down to 2 names. bc he was one of like 2 guys that Always showed up in another class' zoom#and LOL i was right. he WAS one of those 2 shjdjsjsj#n e way. then the next sem came n i didnt know whether to say hi to him or not bc we talked ONCE#and i was still wearing my mask at this point and so id try to smile at him with my eyes but never got a response HDNJDJD and so i got soooo#annoyed with him. and even more so bc i kept making friends with ppl and they KNEW HIM??? and i was like WHO IS THIS????#then one time he came up to me n my friends before class n we just talked and i was like o lmao this annoyance im having??? its a big ole#crush BDNNDNDND#and in community college its hard to like. know ppls ages and that day i found out he was 2 years younger so i was like o ok 26 n 28 isnt#bad at all#but thinking back.... first things we exchanged that time was age and i think he was also trying to fish for whether i was single bc he was#talkin about this other guy havin a baby n a wife n i was like o wow !! i didnt know!!#jdjxjdjdjdk god when he found out my age he was like... oh i never would have guessed you were older. you look young ZFHJDJDJDJDJD#oh so you were Looking is that right HJXJXJXJZJZJ GOD LMAO#i look back on so many moments n im like oh duh... he must be interested#but for me its like. i will literally more easily believe literally any other theory so i thought he just liked one of my friends Zhjxjx#ya i dont think so anymorem but i thought that up until like mid january HDHXJJXJDDJJDJ
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Turns out the reason I was denied life insurance was bc I have several mental illnesses. I also have a lot of physical illnesses, but only the mental ones were listed as the reasons i was denied. Cool. Love it. Love having a brain that doesn't work.
#marquilla#they said bc i require a lot of medication to treat it but i really think it's more a risk you're gonna kill yourself and we dont wanna pay#out for that... so fuck you kid#and it's not like i could have lied and omitted them bc thats all on my medical records bc ive had these issues (#documented since i was like 13 so :/#anyway thats kinda depressing (lmao) like i have money set aside that will go to mom if i go first and it would be enough y#to cover my expenses but yknow i thought that by applying young id have a better shot#i mean hey thats $2 a month i saved 🙄 guess ill take my mentally ill depressed ass to the gas station and get me a scratcher and win big!#idk it's just stupid
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...
#hello darkness my old friend. I have insomnia again#it seems i wont get back to sleep. making this the 4th night in a row of 4 to 5hrs sleep. woof#is it insomnia or am i on the bleeding edge of hyp0mania? idk its weird. i can feel the strain in my head#my thoughts dont connect as well. its like im being pulled in two directions. my brain becoming spaghettified. growing thin around the#middle. but im not as tired as one might expect. ive been pretty productive and optimistic but anxiety and internal restlessness are up#like im tired but also i need to get up and pace around. maybe jump up and down. maybe run in circles.#the energy comes in waves. sitting in lectures or sitting for the extended addition of l0tr has been somewhat unbearable#bc im so contained. i would not ever get up and walk around while those things were happening but i desperately wanted to#ugh. whats my problem? who's to say. could also b the medication. i see the psychiatrist next week and i think ill beg to b put back on#lam1ctal. just bc when i was taking it on a super low does i had a week or feeling the most normal i think i ever have in my life#anxiety and evil thoughts were so small and i felt happy in a way im not sure i ever have been#like i think under normal circumstances i just have a low capacity for joy. at most i feel neutral. like i was telling my friends how i#might do some field work in winter and they were enthusiastic abt it and i kno y bc it sounds cool but idk i just dont feel anything abt it#i cant see past the pain it will take to get there. and i mean mood wise i feel alright on 4bilify like in a nutral way but stable isnt#the same as feeling happy. but maybe its all just in my head. 25mg lam1ctal shouldnt b enough to b effective#but idk i think im just sensitive to the chemicals in my body. including hormone fluctuations. idk. i hope she lets me switch.#itll b a pain in the ass to readjust in terms of going off what im on now and it might not work#but theres literature on retrying lamicta1 and they say to avoid inflammatory reactions in the first 2 months. which i did not do. oops#not that i was trying. i didnt think abt it until id had a million holes poked in my skin and was experiencing a mild tatt00 allergy#ugh. anyway. tbh id prefer this being hyp0mania vs insomnia bc then at least i can continue to function a bit during the day#ive never done anything that wild while hyp0manic aside from injure myself from over exercising and make bad choices in how i spend time#ie become insane abt something and not b able to think abt anything else. ugh. and i guess at this point ive tentatively accepted the idea#of being bip0lar. so i swear to christ if i was misdiagnosed ill b so mad. its just that if i fill out an 4dhd and bip0lar checklist. i#get a way heavy positive with bip0lar and the 4dhd is meh. so i think i just have overlap in symptoms due to dyslex1a and 4utism#ugh. me and my collection of diagnoses. so it goes#unrelated
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me when I come up with the greatest fucking idea ever but its too entwined in my oc nonsense to be applicable to a y/n fic
#im brainstorming what i should write after claw at the stars and my first thought was “oh why not take an oc story and make it a y/n fic”#and then my first thought for that was to maybe use z to a (my beloved dca x oc story i think about every day) only to realize#“how the fuck am I gonna make this applicable to a potential reader insert” bc literally the plot only really works With my silly ocs#like the world is soooo built but at the same time its built for my ocs!!!! i cant make a y/n outta that without so many modifications!!!!!#ah well i might upload a Drabble of it or something as an interest check who knows...#like how does one do “dying and coming back as an animatronic but without 90% of your memories” as a sufficiently blank y/n to project onto#i could think of something or i could just give up and think of something else (i am going to give up and think of something else)#idk does any of this make sense to anyone other than me or#vivispeaks
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