#idk why im even involving him in this
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okay unironically I love so much that porter is like this world SUCKS its BAD here and it HURTS you why do you care abt it!!! and literally every single bad kid is like ngl we just hate ur ass it does not matter what ur philosophy is
#dimension 20#fantasy high junior year#not art#fhjy spoilers#its!!! gods I will Be My Ass in the tags rn. but thats so like. deliciously setting typical#like porter's desire is to transcend and his contempt for the world he's in feels. idk Real#like he plays the game bc he wants to win and be done with it. how do I word this#yknow. being a god would like. be his win state. when he gets that happening thats it his story is done he checks out#meanwhile the bad kids do actually just like playing the game lmao. like they love adventuring!#theyre so solidly Of This World. they carry the values that can only be born of it and they like having mastery over it#its a meta angle that I think is very fun specifically for d20 being in such a unique position in the zeitgeist when it first started#the rat grinders are from DnD Writ Large. porter wants to escape. but this is the bad kids' home its Their Actual Play Show#which makes it so fucking excellent to me that porter's question is somewhat of merit! its their show and it tries very hard to punish them#and they just straight up dont listen to him here lmao bc they hate him but! since the moment the academic track ended its been clear#that they save the world bc they Like Playing. With Each Others#thats what riz thinks the core of adventuring is! thats why fig stayed! and I also think thats why this hovers over elmville now and#a dead god is coming back in the school gym. porter is a shit evangelist but even if hes a good one I dont think it wouldve worked like he#wants it to. the only way he couldve escaped is if he'd not involved elmville at all. thats where the bad kids met dude#its a shitty place that fucks with them but they all come back here bc they wanna play with each others#and in that regard I think thats what the stress tokens ultimately means. Is This Game Still Fun To Play. ITS A RAGEQUIT LIMIT#Im literally running from one end to another of this conspiracy board Ive pulled out of nowhere#Ill draw after this I just wanna get this out. gods this episode has done nothing but furthering my delusion of grandeur actually#Im the hottest smartest manthing on earth Im king fucking midas over here. anyways uh! great ep!
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Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.
Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.
#my characters#waiting on some info on the next commission so i indulged in ocs today bc i doubt i will have as much time for lil comics for a bit#deacon is so devoted hes like yeah i would kill for a deity that could easily kill anything himself but yknow teehee#and fulj just did you tell him you needed therapy also does he even know youd murder in his name#deacon caught red handed haha no of course i havent told him it should be obvious enough haha.... and its in his defense not his name :c#man really does have some issues but i love him so much and hes so devoted but like. unhealthily after a while#he does in fact need a chill pill and therapy but to be fair#ymber has needed therapy for centuries and yet he just bottles it all up and suffers so#its pretty unhealthy until they yell at each other one (1) time bc they are so insecure about things and get mad over very valid reasons#but then theyre like you know what that was necessary and i still want to stay by your side if you let me#and then fulj is like dude hey sorry you seem really happy did you fu- and ymber is like no please stop there we have not#fulj just squinting cause have not is very different than will not but whatever she doesnt wanna think about that with deacon involved ew#and eventually fulj is like hey ymber im sorry to say but i really do hate deacon and i dont even know why but he makes me uncomfortable#while deacon is just. in the room. hearing this and thinking how he knows she thinks hes weird but wow that wording hurts#and ymber doesnt wanna fill in memories better forgotten by fulj which she had forcefully removed#so he just says oh well his hair and clothing are black and you had someone in the past that you might see in him and its not a pleasant en#so you know maybe its that idk#and fulj is then WHATST i was rude to him for someone i cant even remember? lame im gonna try SO HARD to be nice to him now#and deacon just still sitting there with some food like this is v awkward and i wish i could not be here for it#and later he asks ymber about who he resembled and as ymber is descibing her it clicks in deacons head and he gets really sad#that he might somehow remind fulj of the woman she loved before she was punished for loving a mortal#and he feels kinda bad pestering her so much with his curiosities about deities and he kinda gets it#the fact hes close to ymber might remind her at the core that she was once that close with a mortal if not closer#anyway story time in the tags again#im so obsessed with these peeps and i have made them suffer so much but they do all end on a happy note#its still funny and nice to me that while fulj is creeped out by deacon and doesnt like talking to him#he still expresses the most emotions to her - he tries hard to remain serious around ymber and collected and obedient at all times#and when out and about with ymber he has to be intimidating and refuses smiling but fulj?? all sunshine and smiles and emotions easy to rea#and she is just that is so weird go away i hate you
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pls i need to provide updates
#basically yesterday night was chaharshanbe suri . which is a solar new yr tradition where we let go of the past suffering in our year#and like...start the new yr w fresh vigour . anyway so my friend was at the event and we were abt to leap over the fire#and she was like bro im im glad u blocked her (situationship) etc etc . and then. my phone started vibrating. and i look at it. and my f#friend looks at it. and its her. and were both like what the fuck?? i blocked her things r Over and anyway so i pick up the phone and shesl#acting like nothing happened (bc nothing DID happen for her) and she was like ohh ur doing chaharshanbe suri im not doing anything etc what#are ur new yr plans so i jusr .IDK WHY I DID THIS . but ig i didnt wanna come off as like lonely i said probably hanging out w family and#friends maybe reading poetry together . et cetera and she was like wait that sounds so fun why didnt u invite me!#LIKE WDYM YOUVE BEEN CONSISTENTLY MAKING IT CLEAR U DONT WANT TO BE IN MY PRESENCE . and i told her that after#everything i thought she didnt want to see me again and she was like you always think that 😐 . like. ?? ok anyway so she expects me to#invite her . and like. there is an above 0% but sub-5% chance she will actually show up . but the panic that gripped me#i started making calls to my friends asking them if they can come on the 23rd bc there must be an event and also i asked my mother#and she said actually yeah i am doing a thing on the 23rd :D it involves over 16 ppl (we live in a v small flat) of which like...7 are kids#so you wont have space to be in ur own room let alone invite others. which tbh like ...being around a bunch of loud kids doesnt seem fun fo#any of my friends or me etc so i thought maybe i should arrange things so that we all go out together and if she shows up she shows up 🤷♀️#but . im so. WHY DID I SAY THAT . i had to panic-call my research partner and ask him to get from oxf to where i live on the 23rd#and when he heard the explanation he like. the light in his voice disappeared 💀 but he potentially agreed so idk#THE ISSUE IS. 23rd im supposed to also have . a date#w this girl that i had a huge crush on when i was 15-16 (posted abt this b4 but id get shitty black coffee in the mornings just to spend a#few more minuted w her each day and she was the cleverest girl in school and she cared abt nothing but her academics but now shes very gay#scraggly homosexual etc etc shes cute) and YEAH IDK#like id have to go there on the date come back fast meet ppl POTENTIALLY (again under 5%) meet situationship girl#like is that even doable#but the thing is it would be so so so funny bc all of my friends dislike her sooo much#.........what if i invited the girl im supposed to have a date w over to hang out w us#god that would be so hilarious and chaotic . i wont do it tho im a mature person x#but it would be soooo funny#I HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT DUE TMRW 12:30PM IT IS 10:49PM RN I HAVENT STARTED IT bc i was rotting sadly in bed#popped a ritalin pill tho so here we go x#i have found myself in a state of such sheer agony and rage and sorrow and grief over this girl that atp i feel like#its just so entertaining . like i feel vaguely over it? ik nothing will come of it so its like just . have fun . vibe
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hey so do you think wtv keiko had to deal with growing up with yusuke could be considered a type of parentification
#god chapters where barely anything happens except a character's realization about things can be hard ...#im writing another keiko pov chapter and it's hard because well!!#keiko was never really a main focus in the series and as time goes on she gets even less of a focus so i have to fill in these spots#in her personality and views that aren't really explored. im taking a lot of liberties lets say#and idek if it's gonna read as in character cos of that#anyway im tryna say that like. pre series keiko was basically this presence in yusuke's life and he saw her as a pain but he cared#she was there to scold him and cajole him into going to his classes and she was his only friend#now we know atsuko was negligent and idk how involved the yukimuras were in his life but i feel like keiko#whether directly or indirectly was given this duty like you have to keep him outta trouble#you're smart you're mature he needs someone like you. this responsibility just kind of put on her before she can understand the weight of i#and she can't really comprehend that weight until it's abruptly taken from her. yusuke dies and there's no one to shepherd#i feel like keiko should get to be mad about this. this realization of the nature of their dynamic. keiko planning things around yusuke#who's never done that in his life. not because he's purposely being thoughtless but bc he was never the one to have to plan#to think about what their future looks like. he just kinda drifted along and keiko tried to do damage control. it wasn't fair#yusuke is keeping secrets from her she is scared of high school and that he'll die again without her knowing why and it's unfair#so she should get to be mad also because girls getting to be mad is one of my favorite things 👍🏼#the realization that yusuke won't be lost without her so she shouldn't hinge her life on the expectation that he will be#she worries about yusuke a lot i think. especially after he comes back from the dead. and i think kuwa's presence would help ease that#dread in her heart. it doesn't have to be just me. there's someone who can be there with him always and it doesn't have to be me#the guilty relief of not having to be the sacrifice. but kuwa doesn't mind so maybe it's okay this way#idk just rambles about my fic while i puzzle out how to word it#character analysis#yukimura keiko#yu yu hakusho
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ok picture this. an ahura luna leer petras alecto comic set during/immediately after doti where the kids are like. Huh Haven't Heard From Mom In A While. n they gotta go figure out why gorgon isnt returning their calls and then get swept up into the Holy Shit bc they get to attilan somehow and see how completely destroyed it is. i havent thought of it much past that but cue the looking for dad typical comic. and thats whag i want for the inhumans rn. i crave a 2nd gen (? if the kids can count as that) centric comic so bad :(
#obvs alecto wouldnt be too on board. like maybe she only gets involved bc petras#or she isnt really too interested until the discovery of attilan being a bunch of rocks and bodies#alecto has a lot of potential right there especially as a critic of the typical attilan hierarchy and culture (? or like. you know.#The Known Inhumans Issues. idk how to describe it rn im tired as shit rn)#and alecto is cool and i love her and i want her back so bad i need her to be sooo mean to gorgon#she needs to make gorgon regret he was born. literally she deserves to beat him up alecto was put through so much shit#like on one hand i kind of love to imagine she made a clean break and just Does Not talk to any of them and wjll never ever again bc that is#definitely good for her and completely understandable bc HOLY SHIT.#but also i think she should kill gorgon. just a bit.#literally why did gorgon survive doti over triton. my beloved fish man is so much cooler and hotter#like hes also complicit in the Known Inhumans Issues but he also a fish#i mostly just really wanna see alecto again. but also pleaseeee i need leer and petras to have even a little bit of a personality#half of those kids have never interacted with each other!!! what!!!!#also ahura being a chaperone to a bunch of kids he absolutely despises is the funniest thing to do with him and i love that ff#did that a bit with him. bring annoyed slightly trampled applesauce BACK.#and luna is tragically underused and her powers are cool as shit and marvel PLEASE let her do something other than be 11 its been so long#ahura boltagon#luna maxmimoff#alecto petragon#petras petragon#leer inhumans#leer mander azur#? ok not actually sure how set in stone any of these last names are now that i think about it#inhumans
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been thinking about how danse is who nora is endgame with in death shroud. it compels me
#random thoughts#fallout#okay first of all. and this is largely unrelated but i'm watching a danse romance comp#and??? his authority over you and his desire for your obedience + him saying machines need to be controlled = need to see him on his kneess#i don't like him but i need someone to fuck this man#okay anyways. nora's husband who was in the military was killed. nora then shacks up with a member of an evolved version of the military#and the way danse is written. like he very much could dedicate himself to nora in the same way he dedicated himself to the brotherhood#dude is very vulnerable to cult tactics idk what to tell you#also the fact he's like 'physically im a synth but mentally and otherwise im a human being' and doesnt stop ans think#'oh hey maybe other synths are also human beings' like dude thinks he's the exception#also nora adopts synth shaun. danse is assumedly his adopted dad. ???#this man is so good at compartmentalization like jesus#even funnier if you consider the headcanon that nora is also a synth. they're both just like 'i hate synths but you and i. we're different'#how do nick and curie feel about nora marrying danse.#like wtf you're romantically involved with someone who actively views synths as lesser???#'he's working on it' WELL MAYBE DON'T FUCK HIM WHILE HE'S DOING THAT???#and hancock!!! HE LITERALLY. HE. HE HAS NO EXCUSE FOR HIS GHOUL BIGOTRY#'he was raised in a cult' yeah and he should work on that. maybe the person who's friends with several minorities shouldn't DATE HIMMMM#like yeah be friends with him sure that's fine people in cults need friends outside the cult when adapting to the outside world#but nora. girl. why are you doing this#all this could be cool if they meant to do it but i know they put zero thought behind it#also my headcanon for nate and nora is nate was an asshole who pressured nora into quitting her job as a lawyer to be a sahm#like in a 'it's just temporary honey! unless...' way#and nora absolutely did not bond with the baby and started hating her husband and her baby (very guiltily) and her life#and then she started getting really into cheesy noir dramas. to cope.#that was absolutely unrelated but i needed to get that out there
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#just watched s 2 ep 7 of the vampire show#and these are just some ramblings that hopefully will not offend fans of the show im just trying to articulate my thoughts to myself#i think it was a cool idea to turn their trial into one of the theatrical performances onstage#however im still annoyed at how the domestic violence episode happened and was apparently a real thing#like idk it just ruins the whole vibe in the book of how these characters were living together doing awful things to humans yet#somehow mostly carrying on in civilized peace and not ever directing that violence toward each other for decades on end#this choice messes up the characterizations and relationship dynamics too much for me somehow#also messes up the aesthetics that are a delicate balance between the savage and grotesque and polite and refined#it was important to me that lestat wasnt the one to first cross that line in the books and that claudia was#i feel like kinda the one thing that lestat had going for him in the first book as a standalone story#was that he didnt ever cross certain lines with louis and claudia that the show made him cross there?#he seemed to have a different inner set of rules when it came to what violence he would do to humans and what he would do to them#it's hard to even articulate what kind of shittiness is a dealbreaker in a character or a ship to me#especially when theyre constantly doing stuff like feeding on people to stay alive#but for some reason lestat and louis beating the shit out of each other is just such a nonsense ooc thing to make them do in my opinion#also claudia in the book was valid for what she did to lestat already i thought. i dont see why they had to change or add to the motives#she was turned into a vampire at age 5 and therefore almost purely a vampire in nature and also totally valid in not being happy about it#and in the books lestat made her a vampire on his own after louis fed on her and they did not discuss it beforehand#and he never mentioned rules about a child vampire being forbidden and louis did not beg him to do it. in fact one of the biggest reasons#that louis and claudia decide to turn on lestat is because theyre convinced hes just pretending to know more than he does about vampirism#and either has nothing to teach them or wont ever let them go so they can find out anything for real about their own kind#these changes in the show bother me too but i think im not that good at articulating why#i also feel like as much as book louis's weakness and passiveness and guilt can get frustrating and isn't always interesting to follow#in a way that's kinda one of his more saving graces and most defining traits as a vampire as well - so i dont always know how to feel#about them making his character more powerful and aggressive and involved in things in the show at times?#on one hand i often get frustrated at his moping and indecisiveness and inactivity in the books#and yet on the other hand i find i miss his quieter softer excruciatingly polite book personality when i am watching the show at times too#p#vmpcs
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oooh there about to be some mfing ND on ND crime at work if this fucker keeps trying me
#high anxiety noise sensitivity high sense of justice ND#meets vocal stims and 'doesnt do his job because he knows he can get away with it and push shit onto other ppl' ND#like he NEEDS a job coach and he needs help but there's like. INTENT in this shit he does. like he KNOWS and i feel like#all the NT's at work just ignore it and let him do it because they dont fucking realize it IS something he can help and change#he has focus issues and memory issues. all valid but not at all related how he actively ignores direction or gets sassy and how ill watch#him fuck shit up after having looked around to make sure no one sees him. shit he's been told SOOOO many times how to do/etc. AND HE KNOWS#i have told this bastard sO MANY TIMES to not abandon me in the evening to cover his TEN+ MINUTE BATHROOOOM BREAAAAAAAAKS!!!!!!!!#and he just walked out before i could even say No. I won't be Covering Your Position. Get a Manager.#and i was late getting home#wishing ill intent on him!!!! im tired of everyone having to fix his shit or deal with his gross behavior or get extra work#just because management doesnt know how to deal with a bad employee who HAPPENS to be ND and because corp wont get him a job coach#it's not FAAAAAAIR AND IM OVER IT!!!!#cw negativity#anyway the plus side of coming home pISSED is im awake and ready to write#and like MULTIPLE PEOPLE HAVE QUIT /because/ of this dude like idk if there's legal shit involved or like fucking what but like i have#no idea why he still has a job. he's been there longer than me btw. i think at some point he said like fucking 5 years#PERISH!!!!
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baby this is the worst example of career inspiration i have ever read
#ok so im gonna admit smth here#i did watch i am sam as part of a yms livestreamed watch along#idk how to explain this other than i think the choices for this film to be made and completed are alien to me#sean penn plays an intellectually disabled man who gains custody of a daughter he fathered w a homeless woman he offered to let stay w him#i am sam is in the realm of movies like riding the bus w my sister and tiptoes#i rly dont know how to explain bcus idk how these movies get made#like ig everyone involved thinks theyre being altruistic in making a big budget film abt smth like a disability#but it always feels off probably bcus of the casting and overall acting choices#like for tiptoes it stars gary oldman in and i quote 'his most daring role yet' and#he plays a little person but u and i know he isnt so how does he do that? he walked on his knees#the film is packed to the brim w actual little people who are actors so. why gary oldman on his knees ???#peter dinklage is fucking in it in a prominent role#like. how do i explain i am sam. it's so fucking weird how did it get made how did they get big name actors#dakoto fanning michelle pfeiffer and laura dern are in this how does this happen#the movie tries to be so heartwarming but i'm lost w sean penn's performance i'm lost w his characterization#so i find this in wikipedia im not gonna explain rn and i'm just like. I AM SAM ???????????????? babygirl u gotta be kidding#i will elaborate if asked specific questions but rn i cant even fathom this sentence so pls give me a moment
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idk man maybe thats why i have WAY less beef with BotW/TotK's direction than my other superfan pals lol those games literally draw hard on my 3 all time favourite movies (plus other top tiers) and their themes and i adore that and the direction so much
#i know a few folks ive talked to in various communities are kinda salty about the plot not really involving Link or something ??#but like ... they do lol ?? like he's right there engaging in the current active plot#but equally i dont think the game is ABOUT Link as much yknow ... its not NOT about him but its as much about Zelda and thats sick ad fuck#[sits on the floor] i just like them yknow#the 'ma' aspect is soooo .. its so key to the feeling as well i think#idk man IDK i just like it and am fine with the series' direction lol theres only so many times you can avoid exploring the space#we have the tech and the power to play around so why not even if you run some of that back right ??#i dont think theyre flawless at all lol but i dont jive with most of the overbearing criticisms#ive been recommended SO many hours-long self-professed 'negative' reviews of totk and i literally dont GIVE a shit KEKW get it away from me#im just vibing here enjoying the game lol#rory's ramblings
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I have yet to keep inspecting the sweepstakes, I need some air and food first, but I might as well share what I've been thinking about Mike today, because I heard of an interpretation saying Mike was a camera man for Spamton which ... Is very interesting. Like for me this makes me think of Mike as someone who admired Spamton, someone way smaller than him, definitely younger imo, who simply excitedly followed along with the orders given. I mean, up to a certain point. I mean this feeling is reinforced in the q&a when asked about Mike, that makes Spamton get very defensive, almost protective. In my eyes it almost creates this almost platonic familiar bond dynamic whatever. But like this is just a shot in the dark, bc what we know is, 3 lines, period. But if when chapter 3, 4 and 5 come out and Mike is there and I'm right about these things then I'm gonna feel like a god tbh.
#luly talks#not gonna put this one on main tag bc its a bit too vague and speculative and shit but im leaving rbs on in case some1 is like hm ur into#something here nemo im which case i will wag my tail and bat my eyelashes#but am i making sense anyway?#like just to make sure: my idea of mike is a camera man younger and smaller than Spamton who admired the guy#and spamton out of idk fondness bc he reminded him of his old self kinda took the guy under his wing in a way#that's why he's so protective and shit#although unrelated to this bc just. putting that there and NOT touching it but it's interesting what Spammy says right after name dropping#mike if you believe in the cameraman interpretation (which i saw in a video i then stopped watching bc i wanted to explore that shit myself)#bc he right after says to not believe anything you see on tv but this could easily imply mike did do his part but the editing team changed#shit. but its just very curious what involvement Mike could've had because. why would he be as targeted as he appears to be?#and what caused him to also abandone spamton? is mike even fucking alive? judging by Spammy's q&a dialogue you'd assume he is#but i mean that's official but not canon right so it's a bit hard to judge?#but Mike seems to be the only one he isn't really resentful towards for leaving him almost implying it wasn't Mike's choice?#i just can't wait to see more of this bc it's gonna reveal a whole side to this little puppet previously unknown#in fact i think that after breathing some air im gonna go look at the snowgrave neo fight flavor text and cry and piss and etc#I'm still not over spamton begs the audience to stop taking the furniture i can see the poor guy being evicted as he tries to plead not to#so vividly wugh. my poor little guy of questionable morals . . . 😢#also don't get me started on the commemorative ring man what on earth is going on there.........
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I get that a lot of people in the Parahumans fandom have beef with Wildbow being a fandom cop/spoilsport on fan stuff, but honestly if I’d spent the last decade dealing with edgy grimdark dudebros, the same dozen or so misconceptions about the setting and characters, and the genuinely toxic fan elements that filter in when a work gets popular, I’d be a bit grumpy about it too.
#and make no mistake some of it is that hes definitely a bit too defensive on criticisms of worm and ward#particularly with how he mishandles systemic injustice and gets into some pretty egregious protagonist centered morality in ward#theres also an element of him being as enmeshed/embedded as he is in his own fandom#and how thats probably not the best dynamic for anyone involved#but also given how people online make a fucking sport of accusatory bad-faith interpretations of shit#especially after stuff like the lonsheep incident and getting death threats over wards ending#i kind of get why hes so touchy about even the all-in-good-fun kinds of shitposts and jokes#idk maybe im taking it too seriously#but still it does kinda bother me i guess
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#dl#upset at my mom kinda day#still thinking about what happened yesterday#it's not even that she's unhappy with my relationship that bothers me so much (though it does play a part) because i know she knows that#she'll just have to put up with it and accept it#it's the fact that she refuses to treat me like an adult that can make my own decisions#i have to constantly fight her on this#my godmothers and other friends agree that she needs to dial it back but she doesn't and my stepdad only enables her#i know i complained about him recently but im honestly glad that my dad doesn't get that involved with my life and lets me breathe#and for my mom i think it's like a mixture of autistic infantilization (which i have called her out on before) and a reaction to trauma#the latter of which i get why she's doing it but it's not fair for her to take her issues and insecurities out on me#honestly i do feel fine living here but everytime this stupid shit comes up between us i wanna move far away because she makes me#feel claustrophobic with my entire life#i cant get another cat unless she says so even if my landlord approves. i can't use my money in ways she disapproves of.#i can't live at this place or do this thing or wear these clothes without her judgement#i was scared to get my tattoo last month not because of the tattooing process but because of what she would say#i have no fucking agency and she wonders why i never tell her shit#it's because i need to do everything behind her back to be happy and even then i feel guilty about it#idk how many times i have to argue with her on this before she fucking gets it
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i love watching true crime videos !!! no i dont think it makes it ‘morally grey’ that the people murdered in that viral video were drug smugglers actually. i dont actually care about that, fun fact! i think maybe. just maybe. it was bad that that happened!
#the attempt at nuance when it comes to RANDOMLY MURDERING PEOPLE ON VIDEO is killing me. dude shut up#i think killing people is bad actually. i know that maybe thats a controversial take#what do i even tag this as. idk if you want it tagged with something let me know#theres so much more to be said abt class and race impacts on this kind of shit than anything these people ever talk about#how do people just turn their brains off when watching this crap its so obvious when theres other influences#like no that dude didnt kill the guy who told a tv show he had feelings for him because of the stress#he did it because he was HOMOPHOBIC!!! if you look up literally anything about the case HE USED THE GAY PANIC DEFENSE!!!!!!! EXPLICITLY!!!!!#WHY DO YOU NOT MENTION THAT???? OH BOY I WONDER#BECAUSE IT WOULD INVOLVE HAVING CRITICAL THINKING SKILLS AROUND OPPRESSIVE DYNAMICS AND STRUCTURES IN OUR SOCIETY okay im done
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please please please get out of my head
#ive spent my life thinking in monologues to people#obviously it changes sometimes but i think it mostly remains the same#started with my parents in my head as a kid#then the great depression hit and i have no idea what my thoughts were till 2013#then anubhavi with sprinklings of joy and vanshika and some other people for a while but they were all distractions#and then it was saumya for a very long time#and then it was the girl who shall not be named#and then it was you#and ive gotten so intimate to so many people so theyd because the person im monologing to in my head#but theyre just small breaks#no matter how hard i try the default comes back to u#i hate u#i dont want to say anything to#you are a symptom of my mental illness#i do not love u#u dont even exist#please leave me alone#i dont think the universe wouldve let u be on my mind for so long if u didnt want to be#please get out#idk how but i need u to stop existing#i need u to stop taking dares involving me and i need u to not think ahout my boyfriend or prom or how ugly my hair is#i need u to go back to hating me#i cant hate u anymore its so exhausting#i have given up so much just for distance from u why cant u just get out of my head#he loves me#he really really loves me#and i love him too#so why isnt he the voice in my head#why is it you#lmao i reached that 30 tag limit
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looked for stars and i found a supernova !!!
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which it takes a random song drop and a feature from a university student for their relationship to come to light.
or
for when it became true, opposites do attract. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚
social media au // charles leclerc x fem!sargeant!reader
warnings - language
author's note - i am SO sorry i have no explanation for not posting except for the fact that i am now unemployed (i finished hs and don't start college till like august) and i just do Nothing the entire day. i love u all thank u for sticking around <3
≡.;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris, lilymhe and 729,816 others
yourusername boys are SO stupid and it's so endearing and frustrating like u r such a DUMBASS pls let me kiss u on the lips (i did ❤️)
8,628 comments
username hahahah!!! funny joke babe!!! kids and i and our goat miss u ❤️
username and like just that my bisexual ass cried tears (i never had a chance)
-> username she's for the girlies every man back OFFFFFF
username going insane over this
username i know logan is in shambles rn like that brother is distraught
-> yourusername he hasn't stopped calling me i had to block his number
-> logansargeant UNBLOCK my number i am your BLOOD
-> yourusername fuck off i will call mom
-> logansargeant have you ever known sanity in your life
-> yourusername have you ever felt loved
-> yourusername sorry can u please tell mom to stop yelling at me it's scary ok
-> username she did NOT need to do him like that
-> username oh that was FOUL
username she's so pretty i simply cannot believe a man can rizz her up
username do we ignore y/n violating her brother like that orrrrr
-> username u are an only child it seems
-> logansargeant it's just that she's mean
-> yourusername go and drown in a pond since u wanna act like a silly goose
username why is charles in the likes he don't even follow her
-> username i have the most funniest and silliest theory and im afraid saying it out loud will send logan into early retirement
alex_albon evil laugh
-> yourusername i pay u ENOUGH. any more and i will have to involve my lawyer WHAT DO U WANT
-> alex_albon ferrari has exceptional pasta
-> yourusername ahahahhajaha what's that got to do with me u little clusterfuck of a twink
-> alex_albon oh! absolutely nothing!
-> username i am screaming what the fuck
-> username "little clusterfuck of a twink" OH MY GOD
username crazy how everything she says is so real idk if that's the fan in me or i am just way too fucking down bad for her
*liked by charles_leclerc*
username love love LOVE see this rep bc my man is such an idiot but it's ok cus he's my princess
-> yourusername YOU GET IT !!!!! he's my princess <3
logansargeant what are you doing
-> yourusername tryna slut him out n then build a lego set w him
-> logansargeant i always knew you would be the one to bring generational shame to our family what is this behaviour
logansargeant what happened to "if i ever talk to a man again i want you to be disappointed in me" ?
-> yourusername u were disappointed in me nonetheless fym
-> logansargeant i
-> maxverstappen1 i can tell we would be great friends yourusername
-> logansargeant no way
logansargeant what happened to BIOLOGY you were supposed to be STUDYING
-> yourusername i did study
-> yourusername his anatomy
-> alex_albon logan just deleted this app i hope you're happy
-> username Y/N PLEASE HESITATE
-> username CRYINF SHE'S SO UNHINGED
username the way i can feel logan's mortification through the screen 😭😭
username when will it be me
username love to see women in stem (seducing the enigmatic men) idk im proud of her i know she was crying abt not finding the love she read bout
-> yourusername this might be my favourite comment ever i adore u
username prophecy be looking a bit too permanent 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 who's gonna change it 🤣🤣🤣 i am on my KNEES 🤣🤣🤣🤣
username everyday i learn something new about y/n and everyday i praise the lord that i can exist at the same time as her
*liked by charles_leclerc*
≡.;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
liked by yourusername, lewishamilton, maxverstappen1 and 2,629,916 others
charles_leclerc you're in her dms, i wrote a song for her in under a day when we weren't even dating. we are not the same.
12,628 comments
username CRYING WHAT THE FUCK
username oh my god is this real
username CRYING THE SONG IS TOO GOOD
username HIS VLOCE JIS VOICE HIS VLICE HIS VOICE
username going crazy rn what the fuck
username HELLO?????? WHAT IS THIS
username need me a man like this thank u
username too much unpack he has a GIRLFRIEND and it's Y/N
-> username HE PULLS??? HE PULLED HER???
username this is life altering
username shaking from excitement i cannot WAIT for logan to download instagram again and be Surprised
landonorris disgusting
-> charles_leclerc forgive me for not wanting to hide my love ☹️
-> username NAH WHO GOT HIM LIKE THIS
username "thinking bout her eyes every hour she's my wildflower" OH HE'S IN LOVEEEE LOVE
username his voice oh my god
-> username tears dripping down my thighs
-> username OHMYGOD
maxverstappen1 "we are not the same" thank god
-> charles_leclerc bubonic plague 🦠🦠🦠🦠🦠🦠🦠🦠🦠🦠🦠🦠🦠🦠🦠🦠🦠🦠🦠
-> username nurse he's out 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️
-> username nah who got him being funny
-> username DID PEOPLE SERIOUSLY NOT LISTEN TO THE SONG
-> username NO WAY THAT'S Y/N AT THE END
-> username "okaaaaaaay" CRYINF I LOVE THEM
username my life has been divided into before this song and after this song and im so grateful for that
username i think the most important thing here is who out of all his friends owns a toyota in which the heat don't work
username crying bc wdym charles wrote a song for his gf when they weren't even dating
username in love with y/n's voice at the end WHY IS THAT SO CUTE
-> username screaming i need this song injected in my veins
yourusername craaaaaaaazy how u never told me that ⁉️
-> charles_leclerc details details
yourusername cool song
-> charles_leclerc thank you i wrote it for my girlfriend
yourusername AHSHDHDJJSJSJAJS IN LOVE THIS WAS SO GOOD UR VOICE IS INSANE I LOVE IT SO MUCH
-> charles_leclerc THANK YOU !! ❤️
-> username they make me SICK
-> username calm bf 🤝 hyperactive gf
username the most important question is did logan re download this app
-> yourusername he did but then he saw this post, heard the song and deleted it again
-> yourusername he's just bitter i am bsfs with max before him
-> logansargeant disowned
-> yourusername my grad pic on the mantle BEGS to differ !!!!!! u are on the piano u have no room to talk
-> logansargeant i'm pushing you out of this year's christmas card
≡.;- ꒰ °twitter ꒱
≡.;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
liked by charles_leclerc, lewishamilton, maxverstappen1 and 899,527 others
yourusername got him to say he would still love me if i was a worm n now we go on walks and i point at every worm and say sorry i can't be her
tagged charles_leclerc
12,628 comments
username NO WAY THIS JS REAL
username i just want a detailed description of how they met and who asked the other out ☝️😞
username my roman empire the fuck
username the way their personalities crash when will it be me
username THE CAPTION IM SCREAMING
username the way she will never let that man know peace and i am so EXCITED
username she's so unhinged i love her
username LET IT ONCE BE ME PLEASEEE
username blocked (im laying on the highway tonight)
username the way i know logan had to be sedated
-> username my man did nothing wrong why are they torturing him 😭
alex_albon we're down one driver at williams
-> yourusername is it a good time to tell u that i recently got my license
-> logansargeant YOU FAILED YOUR TEST 5 TIMES FUCK OFFFFFFF
-> yourusername big emotions
-> username im cryinf what do you mean shw faield the test 5 TIMES ????
username LMAOO THE LAST SLIDE 😭😭😭 I LOVE HER
username parents dare i say
username max is not happy i can tell
-> yourusername i received a very strongly worded message from him yesterday and the only thing i could make out was that he's a bitch for charles like. a BITCH.
-> maxverstappen1 blasphemy
-> logansargeant NO WAY you're buddies with MAX VERSTAPPEN before ME back OFFFFFF
-> yourusername nurse he is out again 🗣️🗣️🗣️
-> username what are they doing to my boy 😭
logansargeant y/n please. THINK.
-> yourusername i did
-> logansargeant AND ?
-> yourusername he's nice i will keep him
-> logansargeant NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
-> yourusername god forbid a girl wants to date a questionable man
-> charles_leclerc ?
username crazy how this is the most random couple ever and we're instantly like PARENTS !!!!
-> username i for once love them like the cultural clashes we're gonna get heh
charles_leclerc my love please
-> yourusername my pronouns are she not her because i'll never be her 🪱
-> charles_leclerc stop
charles_leclerc and can you please tell your brother to hesitate before speaking? he just offered me candy and a dollar to break up with you
-> yourusername FUCK U I AM WORTH WAY MORE THAN CANDY AND A DOLLAR
-> charles_leclerc that is not the issue here
charles_leclerc pretty girl
-> logansargeant keep your thoughts to yourself you hormonal vulgarian
-> yourusername TIME OUT FOR U let my bf live
-> charles_leclerc this is how my life is going to be from now on?
-> yourusername are u complaining (threatening)
-> username i KNOW logan is shaking behind the screen he just called charles leclerc a hormonal vulgarian
-> username sibling rage takes people places they wouldn't go with a gun
username this is hilarious
username logan's likes on twt are mind blowing like what do u MEAN u wish the plague on ur sister 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
-> yourusername u should see what his texts look like
-> yourusername "you need an excoeciscism for the demon in u it might an issue idk" followed by quora links
-> username siblings ❤️
≡.;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
liked by yourusername, logansargeant, carlossainz55 and 2,729,915 others
charles_leclerc silently working on our own little crafts in the same room tonight, queen? ❤️
tagged yourusername
11,628 comments
username CRYINGGGGG I HATE HIS GUTS
username LET IT ONCE BE ME HOLY SHITTTTTT
username they're so parents it's insane
username he's so relatable bc i too would be obsessed with y/n
username he definitely has one of those t-shirts that say "i ❤️ my gf"
-> yourusername he has one in every colour with diff fonts :((((
-> username GOODBYE
username need me a man who will sit in my general vicinity while we work on our own silly little crafts together
-> username charles might've just set a standard idk NEVER SETTLE FOR LESS
username that text.............im violently ill
username the matching rings wow god really does have favourites
yourusername wait a sec i got 12000% error on my scale
-> landonorris how do you even manage to do that
-> yourusername if u think women don't belong in stem just say that
-> landonorris STOP IT MY PR TEAM IS HUNTING ME DOEN FOR SPROT TAKE JT BACK
-> charles_leclerc shame on you
-> landonorris WJAT DID I DO
-> username crying they're terrorizing people for fun 😭
-> username we deserve this
yourusername fighting demons (a degree that i chose to study) to be on my phone bc my BOYFRIEND posted
-> charles_leclerc don't give logan more reasons to send me vaguely veiled threats
-> yourusername he does WHAT
-> logansargeant sending him links on how people got away with murder is HARDLY a threat idk why you're like this
-> username no way they got him UNHINGED
-> username 😭😭😭😭😭 he's so
yourusername MY BABY LEO 💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞
-> charles_leclerc i am right there
-> yourusername so is leo 💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞
yourusername are u mitosis bc i never metaphase as cute as urs
-> charles_leclerc i am too dumb to understand this but you are the prettiest
-> yourusername king i am so in love with u
-> logansargeant i judt tfeew up
-> yourusername leave me ALONE
username i hope all the happy couples break up (why couldn't it be me in a relationship)
username SCREAMING HE'S SO DOWN BAD
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