#still thinking about what happened yesterday

[vinelark]

i’ve seen multiple people say something along the lines of “we’re waking up in the same world we lived in yesterday” which is bleak but also true; there was going to be work to do no matter what. this is the much worse and harder version of that work but even if harris won it would not have fixed the fundamental things that need fixing. i mean, fuck, it would’ve been the better outcome, but the work would still be there. many of the things people fear under trump happened and are happening under biden. we’ll just have more battles to fight.

i think about the progressive mobilization and radicalization that happened 2016-2020; it shouldn’t have to happen like this but we deserve better than a two-party system, and one half of that system was never going to save us. we will always have to do what we can for ourselves and each other 💛

[great-now-im-confused]

Look shit is going to get bad. It's always going to get bad. But with that it means it'll get better too. What's good and bad is different for everyone. Many things that are bad for you know might stay that way. But many of them will also progress and change and actually get better. Beyond that thought, if you stay and you fight, you will get better. Maybe it is your family that'll always be crazy, maybe the political world will be beyond bleak for the foreseeable future, but if you stay you'll be able to see the things that will improve and will be good. I know so many of us have so much on our plates right now and the results of yesterday and dreadful. But please stay. I promise it'll be worth it.

Sure everything you hope for might not happen but you'll never get to know the things that WILL if you stay. I know the point of this post is mostly to address the dread many of us feel after the election. And I fully get it trust me I do. But as someone who has made that choice before and I am so grateful it didn't work for me to be able to still be here I want to share a few things.

"it gets better" is both right and wrong in my opinion. Yes sometimes the things that have you down so bad that you walk that path can absolutely get better. Sometimes they don't though and while that sucks it's okay. Because as I said before, YOU get better. (Not to run into "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" stuff because I get it, why do we have to be strong) You grow, you learn, you change. And with that growth and change your state of mind often changes too. Admittedly my life isn't too different from when I reached that point, but it's also so much better in so many ways. I'll use my family for an example. My family is so chaotic it's overwhelming and that hasn't changed, what has changed though is my ability to cope with it. I am still the one everyone runs to to fix problems. I still try to fix those problems more than I probably should, but I have started to learn to say no and to put up boundaries with them. So while yes it hasn't changed for the most part the growth I've had within myself has allowed me some space from all the chaos and it's truly helped me.

Then there's things like medication and therapy that's has helped immensely along the way. And I fully understand that not everyone has the same access to things I have been lucky enough to have along the way as the journey is different for everyone. And especially given the outcome of yesterday those things may become even harder to obtain for others. But I will say I also thought a lot of those things were out of my reach and I started asking the right questions and made it a little father (again this won't be true for everyone but hopefully will be able to at least a few)

I reached a standstill with progressing in my career because I didn't know what to do next. One day I got super lucky and met a new person who gave me so much guidance (more than I think they know) and it reignited my passion for my goals (again I know I am super lucky to find myself in that situation). My point with that is we have to be able to reach each other because you never know who you can help (with something that may be simple to you) and who can help you. You don't get to experience that if you're gone.

I'm not trying to get into my whole story or journey but I'm trying to share enough that it makes sense and is understood when I say I know what it feels like to be that low and I know what it feels like to overcome it. So please trust me on that.

I know things are scary right now. So much is uncertain and on the line. But you won't fix it by overly stressing about it and you won't fix anything is you don't stay. Times are going to get challenging and it's going to get hard and rough, but we will always be able to do something about it, especially together. So I can't help you if I leave and you can't help me if you go.

So take some time to process you frustration, your grief, and your fears. Then when you're ready take a deep breath and be prepared. Be prepared to take action. Figure out what is most important to you that you fear will change with the coming times. It could be your number 1 thing it could be a top 3-10 depending on what you have the energy for. And. Then start to learn. What can you do to help, what can you do to make a change, how can you make a difference. Then make a plan. When we all taken action things will start to be okay again.

But we can't inform each other if we're not here. We can't help if we're not here. Like OP said times have been bad before throughout history and humans have survived and we'll survive this. If you need a reminder and it won't mess you up too much look into the things people have preserved through (try not to focus too much on those tragically lost to those times because that won't help in this situation)

I know this is long and has gone all over the place but I needed to get this out because it's just part of everything swirling in my mind lately. So, sorry is it's a little hard to understand my points, if you'd like to reach out to discuss any of it with me if gladly try to be more clear on some of it I just was trying to not fully take over OP's post with my response (which I know I more than likely have by now, SORRY OP) this post just resonated with me and everything started flowing. So please just stay even if it means me typing all of this out was worth it and because you are worth it and we will work together to make it better

I hope none of you disappear in the coming days. Seriously don't do anything that can't be undone.

[gem-de-lune]

Daily Vibe Check 11/6

(Side note, but don't yall think it's funny that the day I said we would get news abt Seunghan that we literally got news abt Seunghan 🤣🤣)

Seunghan Today:

The Wheel + The Hyerophant

He is still in that same energy of accepting what is about to come. There is good luck on his side, and despite not having complete stability he feels stable. He feels good about where things are going. And he is in a good mood.

What is he doing today?

Queen of Chalices + 7 of Swords + 2 of Pentacles

This is serioussssllyyyy sussy. About what I said about waiting around for an answer with a plan? This is it. The 7 of Swords indicates something fishy is afoot here....he is sneaking around doing something?? It seems to relate to the 2 of Pents rather than the Queen. Meaning he is being sneaky regarding a decision' or regarding juggling/weighing some options. I think this pertains to this plan I spoke of previously. With yhe queen the energy is that he is self consoling or being consoled and calmed by another person- or someone is helping him with or through this ongoing event in general.

So sus.

How did the meeting go yesterday?

8 of Wands + 3 of Chalices + the Stars

This is a good omen, the 3 of chalices reminds me of the 3 of pents we pulled for the meeting check in outcome yesterday. Very collaborative and positive vibes, it's a feeling that brings people together for enjoyment. The 8 of wands indicates some rapid movement happening as an effect. If we look at everything in sequence, there is a consensus that rapid movement is under way to celebrate something people have been hoping to hear, to bring it into the physical realm/reality. So this is a very good omen for our cause.

Has the official decision been made?

8 of Chalices + 9 of Wands

I would say yes, it has. There seems to have been a shift in perception for a lot of people who maybe had different conflicting views on the matter of Seunghan's return. As these things were addressed, a change occurred and many disillusioned people saw the light. I think a huge highlight was the protection of artists. With the 9 of wands, we are seeing boundaries being upheld. There is a huge shift in what SM finds appropriate fan behavior- and they are starting to realize what heinous acts they have dismissed as normal reaction up until this point when they are actually harrassment.

Will the Public recieve an answer today?

2 of Swords

Maybe. There is a strategy being thought of in which they are not certain, which will lead to the best outcome. But it looks like they will be weighing them out with their eyes closed, or honestly, pick out the two fave choices and flip a coin. They may make a gamble here. But personally I think no answer today.

When will we get an answer?

2 of Chalices

This bot only indicates the answer may be very good and maybe made in a way that pleases people, but the number 2 pops out. The number 2 also popped out for the 2 of swords....👀👀👀 AND if you remember yesterday's shareholder meeting read- the number 3 for 3 days popped out.....so it may be in 2 days now. But could be 2 hours (i hope). I don't think 2 weeks or months is appropriate.

The "woman" Supporter

A few of yall were asking if this lady:

Was the one on Seunghan's side. I pulled a few cards for this

4 of Chalices + High Priestess

It appears as though she may be involved, but she is not a blind follower or lover of Seunghan's reinstatement. It appears she is thinking about things very logically from her business and role's perspective. So, rather than being a blind advocate, she offered evidence that supported Seunghan's reinstatement.

What exactly did she do?

2 of Swords

Very interestly, it seems she may be responsible for the "plan" we have been speaking about, especially because her roles deal with the global market. I think she has something to do with the ideas and implementations of this plan or how to proceed from here.

No notes today but I hope all of yall over 18 in the states voted today 😠

[thrashkink-coven]

I wasn’t even going to post this, because I didn’t want to contribute to some of the anxieties that you all are having about the election, but when I spoke to Lord Lucifer about it yesterday, he got really quiet.

“Why do you ask? What does it change?”

well it changes a whole lot. Project 2025 is extremely concerning. Of course it matters.

But when I looked at him, his eyes communicated something incredibly intense. I could see flames and hear anguish.

“I have never seen a group of slaves so concerned with its master’s mythology”

and damn that hit me. The way we treat politicians as Gods, and politics as mythology, how we allow it to inform our sense of self and morality, when did we all get so comfortable with that?

“Tomorrow the elites will decide who the new commander is. They will dictate who’s ideas become law, and who must obeyed. One day, when all is lost, we will turn around and wonder why we ever cared about law, why we ever allowed people to dictate our movements, why we ever acted as audience to this drag show. For reasons xy and z , reasons that even you do not understand, there is a new chief, a new law, something new to obey, because the people refuse to make their own law. They refuse to be their own Gods, they cannot write their own myths, so they accept what they are told. How the heavens, or government, acts, is absolute and unknowable. It’s been so long since they tasted freedom, they don’t know what it tastes like anymore. I want you to accept that the world is what it is. Disregard this illusion that things have suddenly, or will suddenly change. Disregard the idea that this timeless battle will resolve through politics. You’ve been fighting and will be fighting for the rest of your life. Who wins? I don’t care. The fight won’t happen in the polls. It doesn’t transform based on these myths. You will have the law, the one that even they do not obey, and they will have the land.

But the enemy has always been the same, the battle has always been the same, since the very beginning, no matter how many times the myth is rewritten. Be it he or she who sits on the throne, there is still throne, you are still slave. When slaves reconnected with their Gods, understood that they were divine, as worthy as kings, they began to recreate their mythology and that began to recreate their idea of law. You want freedom? You crave liberation? Stop thinking like a slave. Stop hoping that master will be kind. Stop buying into the lie that the power exists only in the hands of others. They are not the only ones capable of creating law, they are not the only ones capable of changing minds. America is the perfect embodiment of the doctrine of supremacy who wraps itself in the false flag of freedom. True freedom starts in the mind, extends to the community, and embraces humanity with love. Reinvent the mythology, write one in which all people are Gods, and all power is in all the people. These kings are not kings without their myths and stories, they have no power beyond the power you all give them. I don’t care what the kings are doing, they aren’t real. I care about you and all your kin, and that’s truly all you should care about too.”

…. so voting is useless?

“Imagine if you knew and loved everyone in your community, and you all got together once a month to compile your assets and equitably distributed them. Imagine if you all knew what was going wrong and worked together to fix it. Imagine if you compromised with each other, and found a way to coexist peacefully. Is such a thing truly impossible? Do you even know your neighbour’s name? Do you even care about the man sleeping outside? Could you love them? Could you try?”

[a-kind-of-merry-war]

Hey gang, so yesterday was a fucking shitshow, and even here across the pond I'm still reeling from it. I'm scared of what's gonna happen next, and I can only imagine how horrified everyone over there is. Support and love to all of my followers who are going to be suffering from whatever utter bullshit trump decides to do. Queer and trans people, people of colour, disabled people, women - everyone who isn't a cishet white man. I see you. I'm here for you, even if all I can provide is snogging books and cat photos.

Saying all of that: I am so, so thankful to everyone who reblogged this post (and others like it), who bought All the Painted Stars, who talked about it, and those who started following me this past week. It's been a horror show, and I'm so grateful for people who found a little bit of space for my sword lesbians amongst the mess 💖

Things are horrible, and I personally am terrified about the future of queer publishing in the US, but it makes me feel so hopeful to know that people out there want my books, no matter what the orange shithead in charge tries to do.

Stay strong. Don't let the bastards get you down. Live. And if a man who thinks he gets to tell you what to do just because he's a man tries to stop you, threaten him with a sword.

the problem with having a book out the same day as the US elections is that it's like..... hey, so, i see you're struggling through the unending horrors. can i offer you some nice sword lesbians in these trying times? 😬

[p00pdev1l]

"to love you, love you, love you"

A/N: warnings: contains spoilers* from tkatb, this fic does contain sexual content* so please 18+ readers only!, heavy on the crowe x gender neutral!reader but it is more centered around sol x reader, we all know sol wants us to himself. takes place after crowe's route (if you chose to kiss him instead of hug him)--and we all know what happens after that.

song reference:

“Enough about the papers, so about the Halloween Party? Any ideas for a costume yet?” Deryl’s question is drowned out by your intrusive thoughts. Idle chatter among your friends grew distant as you recall recurring memories of your night with Crowe. Still feeling the ghosting touch of his hands along your lower back. Nimble fingers threading themselves through your hair. The way his lips felt against your nape. Against your lips. Against your core. A familiar voice rang out beside you, their gentle resonance pulling you back down from your clouded thoughts.

“Are you feeling okay?” Crowe asked, his delicate hand falling onto your shoulder. His taller stature leaned forward, placing himself in your peripheral view. His brows furrowed, his expression obviously concerned by your silence. You took a moment to get the words out, azure orbs searching yours patiently,  “Just thinking about last night.” you answered quietly, not wanting the others to catch wind of your private encounter yesterday. Crowe smiled fondly in response, knowing eyes dipping to the scarf wrapped meticulously around your neck.

“Explains why you’re wearing this scarf on a particularly hot day.” he hummed, toying with the fraying ends of the wool. You sunk your head deeper into the plush material, attempting to hide yourself from his dreamy gaze.  

Only the stars would know of your secret, or so you thought. 

Another looming figure entered the hallway as Sol exited his previous class, crimson eyes locking with your own. As you turned your head to meet Crowe’s, Sol’s gaze darkened, immediately noticing the intimate proximity between the two of you.  Violent recollections plagued him, unbeknownst to you, his lips pulled into a thinline of disgust. “Crowe, is it okay if I leave, I have somewhere to be?” You asked, hesitantly pulling away from him. 

“Is that so?” He questioned, you frowned, picking up on the disappointment laced through his sweet tone. “I’ll see you after lunch? That is if you want to, of course.” His eyes silently pleading for your reunion once more. 

“I’d love to.” you nodded, reaching out to give his hand a reassuring squeeze before departing. His gaze softened, watching you closely before leaving his side. As you approached your new found friend, his expression changed drastically. Sol’s lips forced a soft smile, Hyugo followed suit.

Hyugo beamed as you both exchanged pleasantries, explaining how excited he was to meet you, and how much Sol talked about you. You did your best to reciprocate Hyugo’s energy, immersing yourself in conversation, taking no notice of Sol’s intense gaze trained at your neck. His hand tensed, catching sight of dark blemishes peeking out from the hem of your scarf. 

“Sol? What do you think?” you turned your attention toward him, Hyugo gave Sol a look of warning, well aware of the internal war going on in his head. “Should we skip class and head to the arcade?” you hid your concern with a small smile, awaiting his answer.

His trembling fingers curled into a tight fist, reigning in his composure. He nodded, silently agreeing with your plans. 

“There’s something I need to take care of first–”

[samott]

Ez volt mar itt, olvastam, de nem talalom. Megkerestem a redditen, link lesz a vegen, de legyen meg itt egyben:

My missing husband came home, but I just know it isn't him

My husband went missing six months ago. Just... went out to work one day and never came home. It was a horrible shock to the whole neighbourhood, because things like that just didn't happen in our little slice of white-picket-fence suburbia. The police launched an investigation, and the neighbourhood watch sent out search parties, but no one ever found any evidence to indicate what had happened to him. Our families were devastated. Recently, the missing posters have been taken down or papered over. The updates from the police became less frequent and dwindled away. I accepted that, hard as it was to admit, my Rick wasn't coming back.

Until he did.

A week ago, I was in the back garden watering my petunias when I heard the garden gate creak open. I jerked my head in that direction and- there he was. Exactly the same as he was the day he disappeared. Same windswept blond hair and bright blue eyes, same curl to his pink lips. I was in shock. Our families had mourned for him, and yet there he was, standing in our garden like he had just popped out for milk or something. When I asked where he had been, he said he didn't know. He couldn’t remember anything about the last six months.

All our family and friends are beside themselves with joy. They almost can't believe it. But that's just the thing: I don't believe it.

Look, I understand how crazy this all sounds, I do. Our families would never believe me, and I can’t go to the police unless I want to end up in a straightjacket. But I just know that the man sleeping next to me isn't my husband. I don't know what to do. I know I should be happy, but I'm not. I'm terrified. I don’t know much about anything supernatural or paranormal, I don't even like watching horror movies. But something about this whole situation makes my skin crawl.

Just let me explain why I'm so sure. Once I've done that, hopefully one of you will believe me, and you'll be able to tell me what to do.

The morning after "Rick" came home, I made him a cup of tea. When I handed it to him, he gave me the brightest smile. Then he took a sugar cube from the dish on the table and dropped it into the cup. Our house was in chaos with his return, and I was still in shock, so I didn't think much of it at the time, but its been replaying in my mind ever since. I know it doesn't sound very significant, but my husband never put sugar in his tea. He was always adamant that it ruined the taste, and he'd get so frustrated if I ever put sugar in his cup by accident. And yet, this man had sugar.

Then it was the golf. A few days ago, when he was out visiting his mom, I recorded a golf tournament that was showing on the TV. It was one of Rick's favourite golfers that was competing, and he never missed it. Once, he even skipped out on an anniversary dinner just to watch a championship. Only, when he came home from his parents' and I told him what I'd done, he just seemed... unbothered? Like, he said thanks and everything, and then he asked if I wanted to get dinner. He didn't even watch it, and that’s just so out of character for him.

Then one night I woke up around 2 a.m. to see Rick's face inches from mine just... looking at me with these blank eyes. I kinda gave this nervous laugh and asked "Baby, what are you doing?" And he didn't answer. For like a solid thirty seconds. He just stared, almost like he was looking right through me. Then he suddenly smiled and said, "Sorry, honey. Sometimes I just can’t believe this is real". Then he just rolled over and went to sleep. I didn’t get much sleep after that, myself.

Yesterday, about a week after he came home, the neighbourhood threw a street party to celebrate his return. Everyone from our street and the streets on either side turned up to see him and tell him how happy they are that he's alright. When he wasn't standing with his arm around my waist, he was milling around chatting amicably to each and every one of our neighbours, even the little kids. Jackson, our next-door neighbour Sally's toddler, wanted to play peek-a-boo, and Rick happily played along with a smile on his face. Now, my husband never did that. Rick always said he didn't like kids - that's why we never had any - and so he never wanted to play with any of the neighbourhood children. Especially not Jackson: Rick all but avoided him. Before he disappeared, I had started to suspect it was so I wouldn't see them together and notice the subtle but unmistakable similarities.

The final nail in the coffin, proverbially speaking, was Sally. Just this morning, she came knocking on our door. Her excuse was the tray of brownies she carried, but I think she just wanted to push her way into our morning so that she could see for herself what the situation was. After she left, I called her a nosy busybody. Rick laughed, kissed my head, and agreed with me. That was when I knew for sure that it couldn't really be him. Rick always used to get so mad whenever I insulted Sally, like I didn't have any right to hate her even though she'd been fucking my husband for years. But today there was none of that. He didn’t even try to defend her.

I know what you must be thinking. If he was in an accident or something, he might’ve had some kind of traumatic brain injury that caused him to forget some things about his life, maybe even change his personality. And that's a valid, reasonable explanation. I have no doubt it's what the police would tell me if I reported all this.

But you know why I'm dead certain that man isn't my husband? He doesn't have a scar. If he was really Rick, he'd have a scar on the side of his forehead shaped like the golf club I hit him with. But there's nothing. Not a mark. Honestly, I'm this close to going out tonight and digging up my petunias just to make sure he's still under there.

I don't know what I'm sharing a bed with, but I know it's not my husband. So what the hell am I going to do?

innet

[justtwotired]

Whispers of the night - Lloyd Garmadon x F!reader

Tag list: @cipheress-to-k-pop @whore-of-many-hot-men @bodieohbo @anyth1ngfor0urmoony @luvlloyd @viannasthings @beef-fajitas @bubblekitts

Part 1 - previous - next

Got nothing to say other than… enjoy<3

Warnings: some juicy content and flirty comments, swearing

Lloyd POV:

When I woke up, Y/n was already looking at me as I groggily opened my eyes. I smiled and kissed her forehead, making her smiled back and cuddle into me more.

I inspected her face and noticed smudged mascara and messy eyeshadow. It seemed like she hadn’t taken her make up of the evening before, yet she still looked beautiful, especially with the morning light peeking through the curtains, shining on her beautiful hair.

“I think you forgot something, yesterday,” I pointed out to her, attempting to try and wipe away some of the mascara with my thumb but it didn’t do much good.

“Mhmm, I know,” she groaned and went to lay on her back. “My head hurts,” she whined and I chuckled before kissing her cheek and getting up.

“Stay in bed, I’ll grab you some breakfast and painkillers,” I promised and she just smiled at me from the bed, with tired eyes before closing them again to block out the light.

I headed downstairs and found Y/n’s mom there, seemingly preparing some fruit in a small colourful bowl, I guessed it was for Ace who I spotted in the living room watching tv.

“Oh, Lloyd,” she seemed a bit surprised. “Good morning to you,” she smiled warmly at me.

“Morning,” I greeted with a smile. “Y/n’s not feeling to well, I’m grabbing her some quick breakfast and some painkillers,” he explained calmly and she shook her head.

“That’s what happens after those parties, hm?” She sighed. “That girl is just like her brother,” she stated before taking the bowl of fruit on the counter. “I’ll go give this to Ace, tell my daughter that hang over or not, it’s a school day and she’s going, she knows our agreement,” and like that she left the kitchen.

I opened the fridge door before halting suddenly. Brother? Did she just say brother? There couldn’t be any way she was talking about Ace if it was about hangovers and alcohol, right?

She never mentioned another brother, maybe I was just imagining things and I didn’t understand her right. I’ll ask Y/n.

I made a quick breakfast with toast and some orange juice. I entered her room and gave her the food which she happily ate, thanking me in between bites.

���Say, love,” she hummed in acknowledgment and I continued. “Do you have another brother? Your mom mentioned something just now,” I wondered and she just nodded.

“Yeah, Oliver, he’s my older brother, he studies in Nom, why?” She told casually, taking a quick sip of her drink as she looked at me expectantly.

“Your mom mentioned it,” I shrugged. “I never knew you had another brother,” I looked at her and she seemed to think.

“Don’t think I’ve ever mentioned him no,” she admitted. “He’s not important anyway,” she grinned down at her food after having made a jab at her brother who wasn’t even there, making me chuckle lightly.

“You should hurry, school starts in thirty minutes, and you’re still in your pyjama’s,” I pointed out and she almost choked on her food. She quickly ate before hurrying to the bathroom and taking a quick shower.

Whilst she showered, I grabbed some my clothes she still had in her house and put them on before laying down on her bed and grabbing my phone.

She walked back into the room after ten minutes, fully dressed and light make up on her face. I glanced up and she was hurriedly putting on some jewellery.

When she was done I got up from the bed and she grabbed her backpack.

“C’mon, I’ll give you a ride,” I told her and she smiled at me and grabbed my hand. I followed her downstairs and just managed to grab my coat as she dragged me out the door and called out a goodbye to her mom who was now in the living room.

Your pov:

It was silent in the car ride, not for a specific reason. It was comfortable silence, the radio sounded in the back and I’d made myself comfortable in my seat for the twenty minute drive.

Lloyd focused on the road while I typed away at my phone, I enjoyed our little quiet moments like this so now and then.

The abusement park

King Charles👑

Can we all do something this evening?

I’m bored

Lulu🫶

yeah, let’s go to the twins house, just chill in the attic

Me

sure, I don’t have any plans anyway

Besides its been ages since we did something like this

Flowers😍

it’s been two weeks, that’s two weeks to long

Ant🐜

Oh yeah, just invite yourselves over to our house, whatever🙄

Lulu🫶

yeah, no problem, we have

Ant🐜

.🖕

Millie👀

I’ll see if I can make it, I’m working late :(

Arty😈

we can vibe at ours but our parents are in tonight

Flowers😍

idc, your parents are the sweetest

Me

^^^

Jamie

Ill be there as long as there will be skittles

Ant🐜

Yeah yeah, whatever

I’ll get em

Jamie

Then I’ll be there

Oh! N/n take ur bf

Me - reacting to Millie👀

You better be there

I’ll cry

Millie👀

Nooo pookie

I’ll do my best

Lulu

We will kidnap you

Me - reacting to Jamie

I’ll ask

I left the conversation when they started making elaborate plans to kidnap Millie from her work and looked at Lloyd.

“Do you have patrol tonight?” I asked, breaking the silence we had going on.

“No, why?” He looked over at me curiously and I shrugged.

“Me and my friends are hanging out, they were wondering if you wanted to join,” I smiled over at him and he softly nodded.

“Only if you want me to aswel,” he caught my eyes making me give him a look.

“Baby, if I didn’t want you to come, I wouldn’t be asking,” I pointed out to him, causing him to chuckle lowly.

“Then I’ll be there,” he promised.

When we had arrived, I’d kissed Lloyd goodbye and left the car to quickly hurry inside, if I ran, I might make it in time to my English class.

I quickly shot a text to Flora to let her know I was on my way and a minute later I reached my classroom, being just in time as my teacher was about to close the door.

She gave me a pointed look, but made no further comment.

Flora was giggling when I came to sit next to her and I quickly shot her a look, but it didn’t help anything as she just continued giggling into her hand anyway.

“So, is Lloyd coming tonight?” Luna asked as the lot of us sat in the cafeteria, eating the soggy pizza they had to offer.

Millie and James snickered, causing Charlie to catch on and snicker aswel. Arthur hit the back of Jamie’s head and scolded all of them.

“You are such children, honestly, one single comment and you’re a giggling mess,” he shook his head I disappointment, causing me and Luna to share a look of amusement.

“Yeah, yeah, alright, mom,” Charlie shot, at him, causing everyone to chuckle again.

“Honestly Anthony, you don’t need to act like you don’t make these jokes like- everyday,” Millie accused, but was surprised by everyone looking up in confusion before quickly grinning.

“Ohh! Twin miss!” I called out excitedly. “That’s one dollar for the pot,”

“No!” Millie cursed but grabbed her phone to ad one dollar to our shared online piggy bank anyway. “That’s not happened to me in ages,” she grumbled in annoyance.

“Yeah, it was always Flora, seeing she was new and all,” Anthony snickered.

“Fuck off, all of you always lured me into it, that’s so unfair,” she shook her head in disapproval. “Remember when you changed shirts one time to confuse me and lure me in? That was just unfair,” she crossed her arms looking the other way.

Charlie went to put his arms around her and kissed her temple, mumbling something only the other side of the table could her properly and she pouted at him.

“I never got an answer to my question,” Luna looked at me next tot her and I remembered what she’d asked me a few moments ago.

“Oh, yeah he said he’ll come,” I smiled excitedly.

I noticed Millie purse her lips and exchange a look with James, causing Arthur to call them out again.

I scoffed, stupid idiots.

It felt forever until the day was over, but finally, after what felt like an eternity, I walked towards the school gates with Charlie and Jamie who were also done for the day. The others all still had an hour or two to go.

Lloyd was already waiting for me, leaning against his car, his face brightened when he saw me. I quickly confirmed the times for the coming night with my friends before running of to greet him.

“Hm, what’s a pretty girl like you doing around here,” he greeted with a lobsided grin.

“Off to greet my prettyboy boyfriend,” I winked before kissing his cheek.

He quickly dipped down to plant a kiss on my lips before moving to get into the car.

“How was school?” He asked on our way to my house and I just let out a long groan. “Got it,” he grinned at me, causing me to sent him a pout.

———

The door was flung open before I could even knock, making me jump slightly. Lloyd just gave me an amused look, he’d heard her coming.

Amelia -who was lucky to get of early from work- looked at us with wide eyes before turning to Lloyd.

“Make haste, make haste,” she pulled him inside, making him shoot me a baffled, shocked look. “The boys are getting make-overs and you are absolutely joining,” she stated, Lloyd send me a look that screamed help and I just grinned.

“You are on your own,” I winked, I quickly discarded my jacket on the coat rack before following the two upstairs to the attic.

When I got up, I found the normal light being on instead of our usual colourful led lights, meaning this was some serious business.

I snorted when I found Luna and Flora doing Jamie’s and Charlie’s makeup. The twins where both laughing but quickly shut up when Luna threatened that they where next.

Lloyd gave me a gobsmacked look as Amelia pushed him on the couch and wandered of to grab me.

“Say, N/n,” she put an arm around me. “Who are you giving a make over today?” She asked me.

“Depends, who are our candidates?” I asked with an amused look, Millie gave me a triumph smile and looked at the twins.

Arthur immediately tried to scramble off but she grabbed his arm.

“We have our dear Arthur, we’d have to get rid of the lil beard he has going on here, of course, but I’d say some winged liner, a bit of glitter and some beautiful red lips, with of course, some concealer,” she pointed all over his face while he just stood next to her, looking quite defeated.

“Then, our good friends Tony, I’d say a complete full face of make up, foundation, highlighter, beautiful eyeshadow, fake lashes, lipstick, the whole enchilada,” she held his face between her hands while he tried prying her off.

“And then, last but not least, your dearest boyfriend, Lloyd. Now, let’s see, I’m saying some clean girl make up, you know, just some light make up, maybe some clear lip gloss, I bet you’d know just what to do,” she sent me a look and I grinned.

“I’ll take it,” I winked at my confused looking boyfriend. “Come, come,” I walked over with extended hands and he took them.

I lead him to the corner the other makeup artists where sitting, the best light was over there after all.

“Oh, Ant,” I heard Millie call in a sing song voice. Followed by some frightened yelping from Anthony who also joined us in the corner.

I watched as Luna was taking pictures of James who’s make up was not quite done, but he already looked fantastic.

“Let’s see,” I used my hand to hold Lloyd’s jaw and turned his head from side to side.

His confused look, was taken over by an amused one. Without much struggle, he let me put on the makeup. I had some complaints about tickling and cold products but I’d quickly shut him up each time.

“Wow, James, you’ve never looked better,” Millie snorted from her place on the ground, letting go of Anthony’s forehead, which she’d been slightly pushing back to do his lashes.

James was posing, with his makeup, hitting a different pose each second.

“Wait, look here,” Luna said and when he did, she snapped a 0.5 picture of him. She laughed when she opened it and showed it to all of us.

“Who is this diva!?” I called, everyone laughed, even Arthur, who was quickly threatened that he was next.

“We’ll do his with the lot of us,” Luna decided. “He’ll get the extra attention- Flores! You’re supposed to be doing Charles his make up, not doing him!” She called, causing the kiss the couple had been in to break up immediately.

“Luna!” Charlie scolded with red cheeks.

I chuckled and shook my head as I continued Lloyd’s makeup, hearing in the bickering in the background.

Out of habit of doing the girls’ makeup, I pouted my lips to Lloyd, letting him know I would be grabbing the lipgloss.

He grinned and quickly leaned forward to peck my lips making me give him a warning glance. He winked at me and before I could comment, Luna attacked us too.

“Nooo, not you guys too,” she whined angrily.

“Wha- he kissed me!” I accused and he sent me a betrayed look.

“Lloyd, stop kissing your girlfriend,” Luna ordered and he let out an offended noice. “I don’t want to hear any complaints, especially not from the ginger,”

“Hey!” Charles called out offended, and the bickering started again.

I chuckled before gently tilting Lloyd’s head up by putting two fingers on his chin. I applied the lipgloss and he sat perfectly still as I did.

“Alright, eyeliner time,” I pulled out the pencil and Lloyd looked at it before averting his gaze over to me.

“Do not poke my eyes out please,” he requested and I chuckled.

“I promise,” I chuckled before shuffling forward a bit. I wasn’t really on a good spot and was wondering in how I was gonna do this when I had an idea.

I crawled into Lloyd’s lap without any warning. He seemed shocked for a moment before just accepting it. I hooked my legs around his torso and now I had a good angle.

I did my best to hide the shiver that went up my spine when he rested his hands on my thighs, but because of his chuckle, I suppose he noticed.

“Alright, close your eyes, love,” I said and he did just that. Carefully I started drawing winged liner on his eyelid before going over to the next. “Mhm, open your eyes?” He did as I requested and I grumbled when I noticed it was just a tiny bit uneven.

After another try, it looked perfect and I climbed of his lap. Flora had finished with Charlie only moments before and was already taking pictures.

I pulled out my phone aswel and he just softly smiled as I snapped the pics.

“Now only Ant and then it’s your turn,” Luna looked over at Arthur who pouted and she just stuck out her tongue.

Anthony’s makeup was the most colourful, but he was also the only one with eyeshadow after all. Or well, Charlie had some, but it was brown.

Our gazes fixed on Arthur who just sighed in defeat before deciding to just let it happen. Luna was to one to shave away his beard, he put up a sad look as she did, but laughed non the less.

It’s was that only the four of us girls working all together to make him look fabulous.

After about twenty minutes we were done and we finally allowed him to look in the mirror.

“Somewhere I’d expected you all to make me look horrible, but it’s not bad,” he admitted, making us cheer lightly.

“Can we get it off now? It is quite uncomfortable,” Charlie had already been wiping at his makeup earlier, so we just decided to have mercy.

While the boys where in the bathroom getting the make up off with Luna’s remover, us girls where upstairs all having cracked open a beer.

“So, Millie,” I looked over at her with a grin. “How was the party yesterday?” I asked.

She blushed before going into an explanation over the night she had with her crush.

“She definitely likes you,” Luna nodded, taking a swing of her beer. “Like come on, laughing at some of those stupid jokes? It’s obvious at this point,” she shrugged.

“No it’s not,” Millie cried out. “I don’t even know if she’s gay,” she crossed her arms.

The two other girls and I exchanged looks before sighing.

“Mills she is so obviously gay,”

“How is that even a question anymore?”

“Amelia, she had a lesbian pin on her bag,”

“Yeah- so!?” She called out. “Doesn’t tell me nothing,”

I groaned into my hands while the other two just gave up aswel.

James:

I was the first one done with taking the makeup off and was now just waiting for all the others to also be clean again so we could join the girls back up at the attic.

I looked up when I heard the notification of a phone and saw Lloyd picking his up. I looked over his shoulder as he typed in the passcode.

It was Y/n’s birthday, of course it was. Well, only easier for me to remember. I quickly shot Luna a text.

Me

Got his passcode, no trouble

🌜✨.

Yooo

Good going Jamie

What is it?

Me

Take a guess

🌜✨.

??

Me

N/n’s birthday

🌜✨.

Of course it is

That’s cute though

Easy to remember aswel😈

Me

Demon

🌜✨.

):

See, maybe remembering someone’s password to their phone is a bit weird, but me and Luna had an idea.

We love Y/n, but we also love to bully her a bit here and there.

Your pov

The boys didn’t take long and soon enough we were all listening to Luna ranting about an annoying customer she had to deal with earlier that week.

I was sat next to Lloyd for the most of the time, but at one point I’d stood up to grab myself a drink on the other side of the room.

My phone buzzed in my pocket and I took it out as I turned to walk back with my can of icedtea in hand, I frowned when I saw Lloyd’s contact name on my screen and quickly opened the message.

Blondie🫶

I bet you’d look adorable while grasping at the sheets of my bed ;)

My breath got stuck in my throat and I stopped my walking for a second. My cheeks grew warm and I shot a look over at Lloyd who was also looking at me. An innocent, confused look was visible on his face and I quickly bit my lip and slid my phone back into me pocket.

“You good, N/n?” Luna, who’d noticed my pause, called out.

“Yeah,” I just managed to squeak out before I walked back to take my seat again. I completely missed the grinning look exchanged between Luna and James.

I sat next to Lloyd who just kissed the top of my head and shot me another confused look.

God this man was in trouble.

Lloyd pov:

I looked up when I noticed Y/n’s heartbeat quicken and she suddenly stopped mid walk. She met my gaze, her cheeks red and face flustered, I looked back, a bit confused.

When she obviously lied after Luna asked if she was alright, I’d just decided to ask when we were in the car back to the momentary.

The remaining of the night was fun. I did not get any calls from the team needing help and Y/n’s friends where funny as always and completely accepting of me.

It all went smoothly and soon enough, I noticed my beautiful girlfriend getting tired and suggested to get back home, causing her to nod in agreement.

We bid everyone goodbye and Arthur walked with us to the front door. When we were about to leave, Luna came running downstairs.

“Lloyd, wait!” She called and I turned around. “Your phone, you left it on the couch,” she told me and I smiled.

“Oh shit, thanks,” I took it from her and then we left.

Your pov:

After sneaking trough the monastery as silently as we could, we brushed our teeth and headed to Lloyd’s room to get ready for bed.

I held his hand as he led me trough the hallway and trough the door to his room.

It was only then that I remembered that he needed some absolute scolding.

“Lloyd,” I started and he turned around with a hum. Just looking at his face already made me absolutely flustered when I thought back to the text.

Just thinking about it made my imagination go in all sorts of directions and I found myself unable to form any words. Did he have any idea what he did to me.

“Are you alright, love?” He asked amused, taking a step closer to put his hands on my cheeks, making my look up at him.

He smiled but I gave him a scolding look back, causing him to frown.

“What did I do?” He asked and just the face he pulled made me ready to forgive him for his absolute sin.

“Oh come on,” I rolled my eyes. “Do you really have to ask that? You know what you did,” I accused but he just gave me a confuse look back.

“No?” He seemed to replay the entire night trough his head but just shook it in the end. “What are you talking about?”

“Lloyd!” I scolded. “I love you, but come on, do you really love to embarrass me like that?” I asked but he just looked absolutely lost.

“I’m sorry?” He tried, which just caused my face to turn serious. “Sweetheart, I really do not know what I did, I’m sorry,” he said again and I just scrunched my nose.

“The text, Lloyd,” I clarified. “I’m talking about the text you send me,”

“I didn’t send you anything,” he insisted. “What do you think I send you?” He asked and I faltered.

I grabbed my phone to look at it but it was clearly him who sent it to me-

Luna.

The little witch.

Forgot his phone my ass.

“Nothing,” I quickly said and put the phone back in my pocket. “Nevermind,” I turned around, causing his hands to fall from my cheeks, but he quickly came to stand in front of me again.

“What happened?” He asked, now being utterly lost. I didn’t blame him, this was all quite confusing.

“No it’s nothing,” I insisted. “Just- just forget it,” I stuttered and tried to avoid his eyes but he gently grabbed me jaw and turned me to look at him.

My eyes just turned the other way and he sighed. “Darling, can you look at me?” He requested and I lost my breath. “Hm?”

I looked up at him with red cheeks and he smiled. “It’s nothing,” I stated.

“Y/n,” he said my name, I pulled myself back to planet earth and gave him a more serious look.

“Don’t worry about it,” I smiled before quickly pecking his lips, about to turned away, when,

“A text, you said?” He pulled his phone out of his pocket, I froze. “From me?” He asked and met my flustered gaze.

He chuckled and clicked around a bit in his phone. “Your bbeautiful contact, pinned, of course,” he winked at me, but I couldn’t really find it in myself to respond as I looked at his face.

He seemed to open our chat and read something. He frowned for a second before faltering. His cheeks grew red and his eyes met mine.

“I- I did not send that,” he stammered, the flustered look on his face was slowly fading, but the blush on his cheeks wasn’t.

“I figured,” I said before groaning. “God I’m gonna murder Luna,”

“Of course she did,” Lloyd huffed a laugh before pulling my embarrassed self towards him.

“Where you scared to tell me?” He asked teasingly and I let out an embarrassed grumble against his chest as his arms were wrapped around me. “You don’t have to be embarrassed my love,” I felt the rumble of his chest as he softly laughed.

I just put my arms around him aswel and held him close, my red cheeks slowly becoming their normal colour again and my heart starting to slow down.

He pulled back slightly and we stared each other in the eyes for a second. His hand moved to my chin and he lovingly traced my lips, leaving me in a tired trance.

“I bet it’s true though,” he broke the silence and it didn’t really register.

“Hm?” I hummed in confusion, not really knowing what he meant.

He leaned forward till his lips brushed the shell of my ear. “I bet you’d look adorable,” he whispered.

My heartbeat skyrocketed and my breath hitched. He pulled back with a grin as I just stared at him with wide eyes.

I blinked a few times while he chuckled. “You moron,” I managed to say, causing him to grin before dipping down and catching my lips in a sweet, passionate kiss.

He slowly walked me backwards until I sat down on his bed, caged between his arms.

We broke apart for air and I glared at him slightly. “Fuck you,” I grumbled.

“If you wish,” he whispered back.

———

I awoke with a grumble, I turned to give my dearest ninja boyfriend a kiss, only to be met with an empty bed.

My eyebrows knotted together, slightly upset at him being gone. Sure it’s fine if he gets up before me, but I’d appreciate if he was there in the morning after a night like that.

I went to grab my phone, hoping to find a message from him, when I spotted a note.

Out on a mission, back in the early afternoon, love you♡

-Lloyd

A small smile formed on my face. Alright, fine, good excuse. I threw the covers off of myself and opened the drawer Lloyd had emptied for my clothes.

I grabbed some trousers, socks and than snatched my bra of the ground. I stole one of Lloyd’s green hoodies and then headed downstairs to the kitchen.

When I entered I found Zane searching trough a cabinet.

“Good morning, Y/n” he greeted, not even looking back.

“Morning, Zane,” I smiled before lightly frowning. “What are you doing?” I asked, watching him go trough the cabinet.

“I am searching for our last chocolate chips,” he said, looking rather sour. “I am afraid that Jay- oh, nevermind,” he pulled a bag full of dark chocolate chips out of the cabinet. “I am baking cookies, if you want, you may assist me,” he smiled at me.

“I’d love to!” I beamed before my stomach grumbled. “After some breakfast,” I smiled sheepishly. He chuckled, and put the bag down before asking what I’d like.

After Zane’s insistence on making me breakfast, he’d prepared some noodles that I quickly ate. His cooking was to die for, if I could, I’d eat here every night.

“Alright, first we wash our hands,” Zane started. He’d given me an apron, just like last time we baked cookies together.

“Zane, I know how to bake cookies,” I laughed, putting soap in my hands to wash them.

He was about to respond when he stopped. “Oh,” he said before composing himself. “Yes, I’ll be on my way,”

I frowned at the nindroid in confusion. “What’s happening?” I asked, a bit lost at what was going on.

“Pixal says that Lloyd, Cole and Kai need my help,” he told me and I smiled sadly.

“Well go on, I’ll make the cookies, than you lot have something to eat when you come back,” I promised. He smiled back at me and nodded, before bidding me goodbye and hurrying out of the room.

I started on making the cookies, everything I needed was in the table and I’d just decided to use my mom’s recipe, seeing that I knew it by heart.

I weighed out my ingredients before throwing my eggs, milk and sugar into the bowl and starting to whisk.

While I was at it, the door had opened behind me and Koko walked in.

“Oh, Y/n!” She said happily. “I didn’t know you where here, the others are out,” she told me and I smiled at her.

“Yeah I stayed the night, Zane was here when I woke up but had to leave before we could start on our cookies,” I gestured.

“Ah, I see,” she said with a smile, dropping her bag in the kitchen and started to empty it by putting some things in their place. “I was out doing groceries before it could get too busy in the afternoon,” she told me. “Somehow Saturday is always the busiest day for everyone ti get their groceries,” she shook her head in annoyance causing me to chuckle.

“Do you need a hand?” I asked her and she just shot me a quick smile.

“No, I’m alright dear, you continue on the cookies, the team shall be hungry when you get back, Nya and Jay would be lucky if there still is some when they get back from their date,” she chuckled and I followed, covering my mouth with a hand.

The first batch was in the oven and I was rolling the remaining of the dough into balls when the door opened. I looked back to find Kai, Cole, Zane and Lloyd entering the kitchen, all absolutely exhausted.

“How bad was it?” I asked them, turning back to the dough.

“It’s not that the fight was to bad, but it was raining buckets,” Kai complained, I glanced back to see his hair flat and sticking to his forehead, causing me to laugh.

I shook my head, putting my small ball of cookie-dough on the plate. Suddenly two hands snaked around my waist and a pair of cold lips kissed my cheek.

“Lloyd, you are drenched!” I struggled out of his hold and he chuckled.

“Sorry, love,” he kissed my cheek again and then turned to the bowl on the counter, reaching out his hand.

I slapped it away and gave him a scolding look. “Don’t touch it with your dirty, sweaty, glove hands,” I warned. “You lot go shower and change, the cookies will be done when you get back here,” I told them and Lloyd grumbled but complied.

“Y/n, your hair is down,” I frowned and turned to Zane in confusion. “When one bakes or cooks, they put their hair up, so no hair gets into the food,” I said matter of factly and I shrugged.

“I always bake with my hair down, unless I’m at work,” I stated but he just kept looking at me in expectation. “Fine,” I grumbled and gathered my hair to put it into a bun.

Next to me, I heard a panicked noise from Lloyd before he gulped. I shot him with a strange look, but he just looked the other way with red cheeks.

Behind me, there was laughter and I turned around to see Kai and Jay both laughing, while Zane just smirked.

I gave Lloyd a questioning look, causing him to point at his neck and only then did I realise what was going on.

“Go shower,” I yelled at the others who laughed as they left the room. I looked over at Lloyd who nervously chuckled.

“Oops?” He tried causing me to roll my eyes, opening my mouth to tell him off, before I realised something, causing my hand to clasp over my mouth in horror.

“I talked to your mom this morning,” I revealed. He gave me a strange look, before realisation washed over his face. “She didn’t say anything about it- maybe she didn’t see,” I tried.

“Sweetheart, it’s my mom, she definitely noticed,” he said concerned before pursing his lips. “I think I’m gonna get the talk all over again,”

“I’m sorry,” I apologised with a small pout and he chuckled and took a step forward to kiss my lips, his wet hair leaving drops on my face.

“It’s alright,” he muttered before smirking, putting his lips next to my ear. “It was worth it, cause in the end, you did look adorable,” he whispered into my ear before kissing my temple and leaving the kitchen.

I shook my head and continued my work in a flustered state. Whatever, he was probably being teased by the boys right now anyway.

Lloyd pov:

The moment I walked into the hallway to my room, I heard clapping. I looked up unamused, Kai was clapping and Cole did the same while chucking , Zane just stood there while leaning against the wall, looking amused.

“Yeah, yeah, just let me have it so I can shower,” I glared at them.

“So, lover boy, how was it?” Kai wiggled his eyebrows at me and I rolled my eyes.

“You know, hickeys don’t immediately indicate-” but Cole cut me off.

“Yeah, we’re not dumb, Lloyd,” he grinned at me and I just pursed my lips while looking at the ground.

“It was fine,” I mumbled. Obviously it was more than fine, but right now I was just embarrassed.

“Our little ninja is growing up,” Kai wiped fake tears. “Sooo, yesterday, first time,” he bumped my arm with his elbow causing my blush to deepen and I didn’t know how to break the news.

“Well- not exactly,” I sheepishly said, catching them all off guard. “Yesterday was just one thing that lead to another, first time was at the start of this week,” I admitted.

“Oh, so now you have two things to tell us?” Cole teased and I rolled my eyes.

“I don’t have to tell you anything,” I shot at him, slightly irritated. Somewhere in me it felt like an invasion of her privacy.

“Wow, no need to be angry,” Kai chuckled. “You don’t have to share details,” he poked my head.

I didn’t answer him and then moved to head into my room.

“Damn, two times a week, brother?” Kai suddenly said, making me look over at him in annoyance.

“Now that you say it, yeah, two times a week?” Cole agreed. “But if you think about it, two horny teenagers, just learning about-” I punched his shoulder and he winced while laughing. “Sorry, sorry,”

“Technically, yesterday was her friends’ fault,” I murmured, opening my door, but they just saw it as an invitation and followed me right in.

“How could it be her friends’ fault?” Zane finally spoke up and he seemed confused with himself why he was even asking.

“I- Luna sent her a text from my phone,” is all I said before turning away and tossing my mask on the bed. “Now get out of my room,” I crossed my arms and gave them a stern look but only Zane followed my order, probably having lost his interest by now.

He did sent me a smirk and a wink on his way out, which caused me to huff and look the other way.

“What’d she text say?” Kai asked amused. “Cause it can’t have just been a random text,”

“Nothing- get out!” I pointed at the door annoyed but they just exchanged glances and didn’t move an inch.

“Was it flirty?” Cole asked amused by my effort to get them out of my room. “Maybe more forward than you are,” he teased, making me scoff in annoyance.

“Come on, just show us the text, it can’t be too bad,” Kai pushed and I sighed.

“If I show you, will you just get out of my room already?” I asked and they a hanged glances before nodding. “Fine,” I grumbled and grabbed my phone before opening my chat with Y/n and showing them the screen.

Both their mouths hung open as they saw what was written.

“That was send when you where with all her friends?” Cole asked me bewildered, I nodded and took the phone away again.

“Was she mad?” Kai asked with a grin.

“Yes, obviously, now get out,” I held the door open for them and they finally left.

“Yeah, yeah, fine, go shower loverboy,” Kai called, making Cole laugh again. I just slammed my door shut quickly, my face feeling hot as I started taking off my wet gi.

(Meanwhile Y/n realising that the last time she baked with Zane she also had her hair loose and he didn’t say a thing: “that little bastard-”)

[seancurry1]

I wrote a follow up to this today, check it out below and at my website.

Remember, Thou Art—Even Still—Barnacle

Well, that certainly could have gone better. 

The one thing I keep thinking today is: “you are still a barnacle.” And, yeah, I think that’s true—serenity prayers apply even when everything goes wrong. But while I spoke at length yesterday about accepting what we do not have the power to change, I only briefly mentioned the power we definitely do still have. 

Even today. Even right now, even tomorrow, even on January 20, 2025, you will still have power. So I’d like to examine what it means to “be a barnacle” on the other side of a colossal, world-shaping fuck up.

America went to the polls over the last few months and, even though one of the options available to them was not a fascist, chose the fascist. It doesn’t matter what choices the Harris campaign did or didn’t make. New Jersey went to Harris by less than 5 percentage points. At some point, voters have agency, and in this case, they used that agency to overwhelmingly vote for fascism. 

They voted for a monster to be president, because they wanted a monster to be president. 

And you are a barnacle. And I am a barnacle. And we did all we could—or, at least, all we were going to do—and it still happened. Donald Trump is going to be the president, again, and there is nothing you can do on an individual level to stop that. 

And he won the popular vote this time! More people who voted wanted him instead of his opponent! 

And there is nothing either of us can do to change that. All we can do with that fact is accept it, and move forward from there. But forward motion cannot happen without power—so if we’re moving forward from there, then we have some power. 

So what power do we still have?

More here: https://www.sean-curry.com/blog/we-are-still-barnacles

Subscribe here: https://www.sean-curry.com/signup

Remember, Thou Art Barnacle

A serenity prayer for election day.

Originally posted on my website.

The Ann Selzer Iowa poll, regarded as the gold standard in all of political polling, shows Harris is up +3 in a state that Trump won by +8 in 2016 and by +9 in 2020. 

And you are a barnacle. 

The election better markets have Trump up by +19 (as of noon EST, 11/5/24), and bettors don’t care if people are ashamed to admit who they’re voting for—they’re in it for the money and only the money.

And you are a barnacle. 

Mainstream pollsters have admitted to weighting their polls heavily in favor of Trump, to ensure they don’t end up with egg on their face like they did in 2016 and 2020 again. International whales are taking out huge bets in favor of Trump, swinging the markets, and right wing think tanks are flooding the zone with bullshit polls to artificially inflate Trump’s odds in the aggregate. And even if the popular vote is overwhelmingly for Harris, Trump’s team is already laying the narrative groundwork to support a Stop the Steal campaign that, by the time you read this, will likely already have started. 

All of that is true. 

And you are still a barnacle. 

You are not piloting the ship. You are not the captain of the ship. You are not laying out the potential courses the ship could take, you are not deciding which course the ship will take, you are not scouting ahead. 

You aren’t even a paying, ticket-holding passenger on the ship. You are a barnacle on the hull, deep underwater, and unfortunately, there isn’t really anything you can individually do to affect where this ship goes. Sorry! 

This isn’t an invitation to check out, or become apathetic, or (heaven forbid) embrace doomerism. Quite the opposite: this is a reminder of who you actually are in this entire scenario, of the power you do not have, and of the power you definitely do. 

After the 2016 election, some small part of myself was convinced I could change the outcome if I just posted hard enough. If I fought enough of my friends on Facebook, texted angrily, and tweeted from enough protests and rallies, somehow Trump would no longer be President-elect. 

All it did was, literally, give me a rash. I got so angry for so long that my skin started to break out in hives. A doctor friend more-than-half seriously prescribed that I “get the fuck off Facebook” until my skin returned to normal. Trump was still President-elect, the next 8 years happened the way they did, and here we are today. 

You’re going to hear a lot today: polls are tightening! Votes still aren’t in from this critical precinct! If these trends hold, then we can expect to know something by such-and-such a time! The race is as tight as can be! White supremacists are threatening violence to avenge a dead squirrel! 

(The squirrel thing is 100% real, and my god, I really wish I was joking.) 

Remember, through all of it, that you are not the captain of the ship. You are a barnacle on its hull, and there is very little you can personally do to change it at this point. You’ve already done all you can do—or maybe you haven’t, but even then, you’ve already done all you’re going to do. 

And as you stress, and consider how inebriated you’re going to get, and decide on which web pages you’ll be refreshing every thirty seconds, and stress out some more, remember too that Donald Trump hasn’t ever won the popular vote in his entire miserable life. He only won the electoral college, a racist system explicitly designed to empower slaveholders in southern states, one time, and ever since then, he has lost every election he’s declared for. 

More people did vote for the woman candidate the last time one ran for President, and more people have voted for the candidate of color than their opponent every single time a person of color has run for President on a major party ticket. 

And women have already made up a larger share of early voting than men in this, the first general election post-Dobbs, than ever before in American history. (53% women to 44% men.) 

So as you stress and consider your inebriates and say to yourself, “How can it possibly be this close?!” for the umpteenth time today, remember too that Donald Trump is a fascistic, deeply unpopular person (let alone President) backed by an even more deeply weird party, and that almost the entirety of your experience of this election is being filtered through the lens of a national, for-profit media that doesn’t care who wins, so long as you keep watching. 

Remember, you are not the captain of the ship, you are not the helmsman, you are not the map-maker. 

You are a barnacle. 

Vote for Harris, vote Democrat in your local and state races, and trust your other barnacles.

If you like this, consider signing up for my newsletter to get more writing from me right in your inbox the second it posts: sean-curry.com/signup

[oozebrain]

Slow burn Art the clown x Reader. Reader is ND, has anxiety, and low self esteem.

Chapter 2 of How Close Your Soul

General warnings: descriptions of food insecurity and poverty, adult themes, drug use (weed), and thoughts associated with low self esteem. Minors DNI.

Chapter summary: With unlimited free time on your hands now, you go on an adventure in the city with your new friend. (Alt summary: you smoke a blunt with Art then go to McDonalds)

Your mind races as you walk. You rose early because you couldn’t fight off the feeling of anxiety. No, it wasn’t necessarily anxiety, you were restless. Art lingered on your mind and you were excited to see him again. You knew this was reckless to meet up with a stranger in an isolated alley, but your curiosity had often gotten the better of you.

You had a ways to go still and couldn’t help but be consumed with worry. What if he wasn’t there? What if something happened to him? What if you approached to find him injured or dead? You barely knew him, but the thought of him succumbing to the harsh elements hurt your heart and made you feel guilty for enjoying your own comfort during the cold fall night. As you noticed the frost on the grass your worries grew.

Winding through the alley, you navigate through discarded boxes and trash cans, overflowing with litter. There are syringes on the ground, indicating a spot for partying. They weren’t there yesterday and you hoped no one had given Art any trouble. You pace slowly back and forth as you survey the area.

You looked around, scanning the dumpsters and rows of cans for a sign of black and white. He stuck out in this landscape, yet he was nowhere to be seen. With a small voice you call out, “Art?”

You waited for a response but none came. Turning in place, you continue to soak in your surroundings for any trace of him. Your worries grew the longer you stood there. The spot he had cleared out to sit was still visible, a nest of sorts, but where was Art?

Behind you, you hear glass being ground into the pavement and look. It was Art, stone still with his hands in the air and an overly large smile on his face, showing off his rows and rows of teeth. His smile seemed endless and the gleam in his eye was disconcerting. You felt your worry and excitement change over into something else, something you couldn’t quite put your finger on. Whatever it was, you didn’t like it.

He’s wielding a hammer, and he looks thrilled as hell to see you. His mouth manages to stretch even further and his eyes are wide with anticipation. His grip on the hammer tightened as he took a step towards you, to which you responded by taking a step back. This dance continued for a few steps before you stopped. 

Was he going to hurt you? But why would he? Your hands began shaking as he maintained his static pose of intimidating stature. He was merely steps away and loomed over you. He was so tall that he blocked out the sun above and it shrouded his face in surreal shadows. It was as though his face twisted and contorted into a nightmarish entity. 

“Art?” You ask nervously and he gives no response. He doesn’t even blink, and you aren’t sure if he’s breathing. Surely you were not making another poor judge of character. You wring your hands together, “Um... I wanted to thank you for yesterday so I brought you something.”

His eyebrows twitched in response and some sort of fire was lit in his eyes. He was curious. He arm relaxed slightly as it lowered a little. Maybe this was some sort of game? Art was so hard to read, maybe he just had an intense sense of humor. Still, it’s frightening. You swallow hard and continue, “Do... you wanna smoke a blunt?”

He pauses and his smile turns into a grimace. Art is visibly thinking about your proposal. He looks away, deep in thought, eyebrows furrowed and forehead wrinkled. The man looked back to you, then back to the hammer for an uncomfortable period of time, then finally back to you. He made an inquisitive face and you revealed what you were talking about.

It was one your friend had given you. It was half smoked and hard as a rock, but still did just fine. You wave it a little like a tempting treat and his eyes follow its rapid movement. He finally drops the hammer, grabs his trash bag to drag behind, and closes the small gap between you.

Art stares at what is contained in your hand and you hold it out a little more so he can inspect it. He touches it lightly and his face only became more of a confused scowl. He looked at you then waved his hand in front of his face in a grimace, portraying he thought it would stink. You nod some, “Yeah it’s skunky but it doesn’t taste bad. There’s wax in it. Not like, candle wax... it’s hard to explain...”

You think a moment then look up at him, “Sometimes we just need to catch a good buzz, you know? I thought we could smoke and talk, maybe learn some more ASL.”

He perked up at that and signed his name with curious eyes to which you responded with a smile, “Yeah! Soon you’ll be a total chatterbox.”

You look around for a comfortable pace to sit and scope out a spot atop a dumpster. It looks like it was recently dumped and smelled the least offensive, so you hoist yourself up and hold your hand out for Art to follow. He has a much easier time clambering up the side than you did, but he struggles to heave his garbage bag beside him.

You didn’t ask about it. It was likely his only way to transport his possessions, but it still made you worry for him. It could easily become stolen or mistaken for actual trash. Perhaps you would get Art a proper means to carry his things, but that was getting ahead of yourself. Today your rent was due and you were seven hundred dollars short. There was no way you were going to get that much money in time, so you were doing the next best thing- running away from your problems. This was the present, and the present meant you were about to get high with a complete stranger.

“Are you okay with this?” You ask as you show him the blunt. He mouths ‘oh yeah’ a little too assertively and puffs his chest out. Though he seemed confident you wondered if he’d ever smoked weed before. You were become more and more curious about your friend, “Are you sure?”

He nodded enthusiastically with a smile but his eyes were transfixed on the mysteriously wrapped cigarette. Wherever it went his eyes followed. You patted your pocket and realized you forgot your lighter at home, “Damn. Art, you wouldn’t happen to have a lighter by any chance would you?”

Art holds his finger up in a ‘one moment’ gesture and starts looking through the same black trash bag as yesterday. From this angle you could see inside a little. It was a hodgepodge of metal, trinkets, saws...

Saws?

Your eyes widen when he pulls out a blow torch, his mouth stretched in a wide tooth filled grin of glee and accomplishment. He looked so proud to hold it in his hands and his lights lit up when he playfully blew at you with the fire. It should scare you on a deeper level than it did, but you really wanted to smoke.

“Awesome. Do you care if I see it? “ You ask, but he seems incredibly reluctant to hand it over as he hugs it to his chest and furrows his brows in response. His theatrics made it hard to take him seriously or view him as any sort of threat. 

So to the stranger with a blow torch you say, “Art, no offense man but I’m not gonna come outta here looking like creme brûlée.”

He laughs uproariously in silence and slaps his knee. That seemed to have tickled him and you relax a little. Another similarity. Humor. Finally, someone with a sense of humor. Art wipes a faux tear from his eye and obliges, shoulders still heaving sporadically in a fit of voiceless giggles.

You test it experimentally, a small lick of fire coming out the end. You look at art with raised brows and mirror his previous actions by blowing fire at him. He laughs again and offers you one, hardy clap on your back. It makes you feel warm and secure inside. You didn’t know how much you needed that, but you were silently grateful. 

He watched you with visible curiosity as you lit the end and took a deep inhale. You held it for as long as your lungs could stand before exhaling. Unconsciously you hold it out to Art to pass the blunt. Hesitantly, he takes it from you and holds it between the nails of his thumb and index finger.

You snort in a laugh. Who needs clips when you have him? You mime a smoking motion and nod to him, “Draw it into your mouth then hold it in your lungs, but don't—”

Before you could finish he was chiefing it. He took a hit as big as his lungs could expand, held it for half a second, then exploded in a coughing fit. It wracked his body and he held his chest, all of his motions dramatic and theatrical as he figuratively withered and died right in front of you. It was definitely his first time.

You reach out and, after careful consideration, rest your hand on his back and pat as you finish your sentence, “...don’t take a big hit.”

He stills instantly at your touch and you withdraw your hand like you’ve touched a hot stove. Had you crossed a boundary? Were you a nuisance? Did you hurt him? Were you what your boss thought: a predatory creep who preyed on older men? Was that possible?

“I’m... I’m sorry Art.” You offer awkwardly and rub your hands together, fidgeting and picking at your nails. An audible gulp leaves you as you stare down at the ground, too ashamed to look at him. You didn’t know what you did wrong, but you’d certainly done something. 

Silence falls between the two of you for a while. It feels like hours as the absence of noise makes your ears ring and only amplifies your transgression. You finally look to him and see him in the same position, still as a stone and just as silent. After a moment you find your voice, “Art... are you okay?”

His eyes visibly shift when he breaks out of his trance and he finally looks to you. Art stares at you, barely half lidded and the scelra bloodshot and red. He offers you a lazy grin and you mirror it, relief flooding you. He wasn’t upset, he was just stoned!

“You scared me there for a minute buddy!” You sigh as your anxiety leaves you and begin to swing your feet idly back and forth. He sleepily watches your feet a moment before mirroring you, keeping your same pace. Art trails his eyes up your body then meets your eyes, the same lazy, blissful smile spread over his face. He takes another, much smaller, hit off of the blunt, holds it, then exhales through his nose. 

The smoke snakes upwards and plumes around him. He caught on quick. Art hands you back the blunt and you accept it gratefully then taking a greedy hit off it. This time, you enjoy it. You savor it and hold it until your lungs feel as though they are smoldering and flaking away. You exhale slowly, watching the swirls and twirls of the white plumes that flow like water in the sun’s rays.

“So, Art...” You begin, passing the blunt back to him, “what are you into? Like what are your hobbies?”

He visibly ponders a moment, looks you dead in the eye and offers you the scariest, widest smile you’ve ever seen. It reminded you of something you’ve seen browsing the depths of horror forums. You heart palpitates as he stares at you, eyes wild and teeth prominent. You had no idea what kind of emotion he was displaying and nervously averted your eyes.

Art tapped on your shoulder and motions upward for you to meet his gaze again. Nervously, you oblige and find his expression has changed dramatically. He’s back to sleepy eyes and a closed mouth, crooked smile. Art hands you the blunt back so he can use both hands to speak.

He makes a single handed digging motion, adding little details like running into rocks and patting the soil down. You smile at him in kind, “You like to garden?”

Art pauses and makes a ‘kind of’ motion with his hand then waves you off. That isn’t what he was trying to say. He taps his chin in thought, this time creating the illusion of digging with a two handed shovel.  But still you do not understand and offer him a sheepish apology and urge him to continue. 

He makes an arch shape near the head of where he was digging, but that only confused you further. You point at the imaginary object, “What is that?”

Art huffed and pointed aggressively to a pebble on the ground. You ponder a moment then offer, “Rock? Close? Uhh... stone?”

He points to you with joy and nods fervently, rolling his hand and looking at you in giddy apprehension to finally guess the correct answer. But nothing comes. You purse your lips, afraid to say the wrong thing. Art repeats the motion, never taking his eyes off you as he dug in the imaginary hole then made a pulling motion at the air and loading up his pockets. 

You look at him, desperately trying to understand but the concept continues to not only elude you but become more confusing with each additional gesture. You want to know, but if it isn’t gardening what else could it be? What other activities involve digging holes near large stone objects at the head and rummaging through their contents? The only thing that kept coming to mind was digging up buried treasure and you knew that isn’t what it was.

He shares your frustration and sighs in silence. Art throws his hands up and draws a distressed question mark in the air over and over again. You didn’t understand what he didn’t understand. And your confusion made his confusion grow. Your eyes widen and to ease the pressure you say, “I think we’re too high man.”

Art’s eyes widen and he seems briefly alarmed before relaxing all at once and nodding along with your remark. He smiles at you and wipes imaginary sweat off his forehead and lifts his hat to you in a polite gesture. You weren't going to stop trying to learn about your new friend and decided to do a rewind.

“Let’s get to the spelling. So, Art, what does the letter of your hobby start with?” You never thought your limited knowledge of ASL would come in handy when smoking a blunt with a clown, but this life was truly full of surprises.

He drew a G in the air and you repeat the sign for the corresponding letter. He mirrors you then draws several more letters in the air. R... A... V... E...

“Grave?” You ask, tilting your head slightly. Suddenly, it dawned on you, “Oh! Do you work at a cemetery? You tend to the graves?”

This simply cracked him the hell up. He laughed and laughed, holding his hands over his mouth in a wordless giggle as though he were bottling up some big juicy secret. After a moment he nodded with a smile, mouthing 'sure'. That explained some of his strange behaviors. Dead people didn’t talk and neither did he, so they already had more in common than the living. You, yourself, had felt more of a relation to the dead than the living, as well, and found his profession interesting. 

Before you could ask him any more questions he gripped his stomach, brow knitted in confusion. He looked to you questioningly, lips parted as though to speak. He was mumbling something voicelessly but you couldn’t hear nor read his lips. You try to placate him.

“It’s called the munchies, it’s normal.”

But he wouldn’t stop staring at you. His stomach audibly grumbled and he swallowed hard. He was looking at you in a way no one ever had before. He was looking at you like YOU were food. You’re high; you’re feeling bold and joke, “Bro if you’re gonna cannibalize me go ahead, with the week I’ve had I’m ready.”

He stops and laughs, his eyes crinkling into slits as he gets lost in a fit of giggles. His hand didn’t leave his stomach as he rubbed it absent mindedly, still staring at you with wolfish hunger. His stomach gurgled again and he winced some. He hunger was clearly a step above regular munchies.

“I’ve heard people taste like pork...” Your stomach growls at the thought of slow roasted meat, so tender it fell off the bone. You’d always had a fascination with human meat, and one of your current friends had dabbled in cannibalism in their childhood so it wasn’t too far fetched of a concept. Art did not strike you as a cannibal, but if he was that strangely wouldn’t bother you, at least not right now. Maybe you really were too high. 

Without warning, Art slides off the dumpster. His trash bag lands on the ground with a loud, metallic thud, and then he extends his hand out to you. His hand is filthy, his gloves stiff and stained with dirt and some sort of bodily fluid. You weren’t sure what it was, but logic escaped you right now.

You took his hand in yours and allowed him to help you off the dumpster. With effort, you awkwardly slide down and begin following after him like a puppy. At first you struggled to keep up with his long gait but he slowed down so the two of you could walk side by side.

“Where are we going, Art?” You look up at him and ask curiously. He smiles down at you and makes an M in the air in the same shape as the iconic golden arches. The idea of a hot, greasy, barely edible hamburger made you so hungry you nearly dry heaved right there. But then it hit you, “I don’t have any money.”

He waved you off and rubbed his fingers together then pointed at himself smugly, showing that he had money and was paying. But could you really allow him to do something like that? You open your mouth to protest and he holds his finger to his lips to shush you. You relent. Art is going to do what he wants, and if he wants to buy you a cheeseburger then so be it. Perhaps the pair of you could have a symbiotic relationship. You were interested in compiling resources, so this was just part of it.

The walk there was short but simulaneously felt as though it dragged on forever. From the parking lot, you could smell the grilled beef and frying grease and it made your mouth water. It seemed to have a similar effect on Art as his stomach produced a low rumble of its own. With a flamboyant display, he holds the door open for you and makes a sweeping motion with his arm for you to enter. You titter in playful bashfulness and enter. The restaurant is warm and the delicious smell of food envelops you like cartoon smoke.

But people are looking at you, whispering and giving you ugly stares. They’re all pointing at Art and hurried murmurs emerging: ‘is that him?’, ‘what horrible taste’, ‘appalling.

Appalling? 

You realize they aren’t talking about you, they’re talking about Art. You look up to him. He pays them no mind. His mouth is agape as he strums his chin in thought, voicelessly mouthing to himself as he read the menu. You already know what you’re going to get and stand beside him patiently. You give him a few moments then tug on his sleeve to get his attention, of which he obliges.

“Which number do you want, Art?”

He ponders again before holding two fingers up, indicating he wanted the same thing you were getting. You smile, “Great minds, yeah?”

Art offers a small chuckle and nods, lingering behind as you approach the counter. The cashier seems off, uncomfortable, and scared. You were familiar with stares of the ignorant, but this seemed different. She seemed petrified.

“Are you okay?” The cashier whispers. 

You look around and everyone is staring at you. You eye her nervously and offer a wary, “Yeah...?”

“Are you sure? He’s just... he’s just a guy in a costume, right?”

You look back at Art, who is enamored with the toy display, his face merely inches from the bright and colorful beanie babies contained within. You’re too high to deal with this kind of dumb shit right now. Why was everyone looking at him like that? And why was everyone being so mean about him? He was just a guy in a clown costume... wasn’t he?

Art looks back at you and gives a friendly little wave before resuming fawning over the toys. There’s no way this guy was some kind of depraved murderer or demon, he was just a guy in a suit. He was weird, like you. You both had a similar sense of humor and people just didn’t get you. So what if he liked to dress like a clown? You thought he was brave to be who he was and admired how easily he brushed off other people's abrasive attitude.

You look back at the cashier, “Yeah it’s just a costume. We’d like two number twos and we’ll be getting that to go, please.”

With shaking hands, she types in the order. Art is by your side, digging through his trash bag before withdrawing a wallet. He flips through the row of credit cards then hands one out to the cashier. You lived off credit cards for a while too so you thought little of it.

She takes it, trying her best not to make contact with his hand and swipes it. It was approved and she slid it back across the counter, “Thanks we’ll uh, we’ll call your number as soon as its ready.”

She can’t take her eyes off Art as she backs away and retreats to the kitchen. She is talking to what you assume is her manager, pointing and motioning to the pair of you. Seriously? What was her problem. Part of you wants to confront her and tell her to mind her own fucking business, but your anxiety roots you firmly in place.

This display is not lost to Art. His lip curls into a smirk as he returns to the beanie babies. You join him and admire them. You loved stuffed animals and your eyes glitter with wonder. You’ve never seen any of these before, all small little animals. There’s a turtle, a red panda, a giraffe, a hedgehog... so many wonderful little creatures.

“Wow...” You breathe out, “I wish I’d gotten a happy meal instead. I’d love to have these.”

“Number six forty three!” Comes a voice behind you. That’s your number. You happily scamper over to the counter to retrieve your bag and drinks.

“You ready, Art?” You call back to him but he says nothing. He looks at you, then back to the toy display. Without warning, he strikes it again, and again, and again. The hard plastic cracks and crumbles from his blows and it is not long before he is loading up his trash bag with every beanie baby in the display.

You were so dumbfounded by Art’s actions you weren’t sure what to say, or do, so you did nothing but watch and stare. This is something you had fantasized about many times as a child, eyeing the coveted toys in the case your parents could not afford, but you never had the strength to execute it. One by one, each beanie baby was snatched up.

“Sir! Sir you can’t--” The cashier is cut off. He looks back at her with a wide, toothy grin and sizes her up. Even a hardened veteran of customer service isn’t immune to his intimidating stare. He holds his threatening stance a moment before looking back to you and grabbing your hand. He practically drags you out of there, an entire audiences’ eyes on you as you make your dramatic exit.

The further you get away the more the situation sinks into you, and so does the ferocious anxiety. What was going to happen? How was he being so casual about this? Did he regularly steal from their toy display, is that why they were looking at him like that?

As you both tuck behind an old gas station your anxiety finally breaks. Oh no...

“Art what if we get in trouble? What was that back there man? What...”

He shushes you and rests his hand on your shoulder. This time, you still and look back at him. Though stoic, he seems weirdly reassuring. You had just knocked off a McDonald’s and stolen twelve beanie babies. TWELVE. 

“What if we get banned from every McDonald’s? What if we go to jail.” Fear washes over you and it multiplies with the influence of weed, “Art I don’t wanna go to jail. We have to take them back and apologize... no we can’t do that, we’ll be arrested... What if they’re looking for us... Art! What if they’re--”

Art shushes you again and rubs your shoulder gently. He gives the ‘ok’ sigh with his hand and pats you. He begins to walk away but stops as he realizes you aren’t following him. You’re too anxious and a prisoner in your own mind. This is too scary, it’s too intense. Your rush of adrenaline had quickly turned over into a full blown anxiety attack.

Your heart pounded so hard it made you see spots and you struggled to stand still. You began pacing, wringing your hands as thousands of thoughts burst into your mind all at once. What if this is it? You’ve lost your job, you’re going to lose your apartment, and now you were going to jail for stealing stuffed animals... at least this way you’d still have shelter and three meals a day...

There was a warmth against your back. You start and look up at the source: Art. His hand is between your shoulder blades. He makes no motion to move but stays there, silent and strong as his large hand offers you a tether to the moment. You say nothing and just focus on the feeling. His touch felt so deliberate and affirming, it felt meaningful and stilled your trembling. 

You wanted to lean into him, but you weren’t sure if he’d appreciate that. You look at him questioningly and, is if he read your mind, moves his hand to your shoulder and draws you near to him. You remain this way for a while. He holds you in silence, hand gingerly rubbing up and down on your arm and occasionally patting as he tried to comfort you.

It was working. You hadn’t felt this secure since you’d been in His arms: the former object of your affection who now made your heart ache and your stomach sick. You are touch starved and his affection makes something inside you melt. You nuzzle into his chest and he allows this, moving his hand to rest on your head and gently smooth your hair. 

Your hands are too full to reciprocate the hug, but you do your best to return the affection by leaning further into him and he obliges  by holding you closer. The pair of you remain this way for some time. There are no police sirens, no angry mob, and no cashier chasing after you. All of your worries were limited to your mind and, gradually, you relax. Slowly, you pull away from him and offer him a kind, but slightly strained, smile.

“Art... I mean this in the nicest way possible but... You gotta take a shower man. Do you wanna come over to my place? I have body wash and stuff you can use.”

His eyebrows fly to the sky and his mouth forms into a large O. This expression is brief as a wide smile takes its place. He nods happily, his little hat bobbling, and you mirror his smile. You felt good that you were able to help someone out and reciprocate his aid. As the pair of you made your way home with McDonald’s loot, you begin to wonder if this will be the start of a beautiful and peculiar friendship.

[some-triangles]

Now that everyone's a little less raw it looks like the Takes are rolling in, so I might as well add mine.

The thing that frustrates me is that everybody knows that the democratic party is a bought and paid for centrism machine, but we forget this every time an election rolls around. It's been the most important election of my lifetime, where we have to set aside petty concerns like the social safety net or not slaughtering people in the middle east in order to vote for the lesser of two evils, for the last 20 years. It is a reflection on how eagerly human beings will divide themselves into factions that this continues to work.

I want you to reflect on that moment of enthusiasm the left collectively had when Harris came on board (do you remember when Walz made that joke about Vance fucking a couch? Good times.) Do you ever get the feeling you've been cheated?

There is a very obvious lesson to be learned from Trump's win here, but it will go aggressively unlearned, because it is not in the interests of the media or the political classes to learn it. The CNN roundtable on how Harris lost because she wasn't pro-Israel enough went out yesterday. Consider how much money is spent on a presidential election in this country - even the nicest, most liberal lobbyists, lawyers, "journalists", consultants and associated professionals have mortgages to pay and mouths to feed.

All I want at this point is a little honesty from the "in my america" lawn sign brigade, a little reflection. All I want is for the next time the democratic party comes around asking for your money, your energy, your attention- just think a little bit about what you've bought from them so far. Think about the current state of the healthcare system, think about who profits from it, think about how much you still spend on insurance and on top of insurance. Think about how the rich get richer under both parties. Think about how this election was decided when business decided they could accept Trump and the democrats were left holding the principles they'd been trying to sell, outbid for them. Tear up the fundraising letters, and on top of that, tear up your medical bills. Kick the sunk cost fallacy out of your brain and admit that this isn't working. I'm not asking you to take the next step, to think about why a message founded on white supremacy and american exceptionalism is so persuasive to so many of us, or why every single person in a position of real power is lying about a genocide that we can see happening on our phones. Just think about where your money has gone and whether there's been a return on your investment.

For those of you who already know what I'm talking about, the story is the same as it ever was. Due to inflation the 20 bucks of mutual aid we pass around should probably be updated to 50, and we should probably find some way of passing it that doesn't involve Peter Thiel, but other than that, business as usual.

[piinksdoll]

→ [808 | Spencer Reid/Emily Prentiss]

Pairing~ Spencer Reid x Fem!Bau!Reader, Emily Prentiss x Fem!Bau!Reader

Genre~ angst, fluff, kissing

Word Count~ 2.8k

Warnings~ heartbreak, wine thats rlly it

a/n~ k this is very angsty, sad spence, sad reader, cute emily tho so yeah! have fun lmk what yall think! also NOT PROOFREAD!!!!

Today is the day. October 17th. 808 days. 

Spencer and I have been together for 808 days. I've counted every day since the first time he said ‘I love you’. I remember that day like it was yesterday. It was after a particularly hard case, and I had gotten hurt. After coming back to Quantico he insisted on driving me home. He walked me to my door and stood in front of me. His hands were trembling, the rain soaked his hair and his clothes. He looked at me with pure adoration before the words left his lips. “I love you Y/n.” 

I have been up for 6 hours, pacing my apartment trying to prepare myself for what's to come. He's on his way here and I know why. It’s over.

I glance up at the clock, 7:58. He’ll be here any minute. Suddenly I'm snapped out of my thoughts with the knock on my door. I opened the door and there he stood.  “Come in.” I moved out the way to let him in. He enters my apartment, his eyes scanning the familiar surroundings as if he’s trying to memorise every detail. The warmth of my home feels so stark against the chill of the situation.

“Hey.” His voice barely above a whisper. “Hey.” I replied, my voice almost inaudible. “Do you want some coffee or-?” I start, desperate to break the silence, but he cuts me off. “No, I- ” He hesitates, glancing down at the floor before meeting my eyes. “I think we need to talk. I swallow hard, nodding slowly as the knot in my stomach tightens. “Yeah, I think we do.”

“Y/n, I don't know how to say this. I've been thinking about us, about everything.” He looked at me with those damn brown eyes. I could melt in them. “I think... I think we need to take a break. I need time to figure things out.” My brows furrowed in confusion. “Spencer. I don't know what to say to you.”

He nods slowly, tears pooling in his eyes. “I think it’s for the best. For both of us.” I shook my head, laughing bitterly at his words. “The best? For both of us? No Spencer, I think this is just for you.” His brow furrows, confusion mixed with hurt flashing across his face. “What do you mean?” I close my eyes trying to stop my tears from falling. “I mean, you’ve found something with JJ, haven’t you?” I cross my arms defensively, my heart racing. “You’re too scared to admit it, but you want her. You’re using ‘us’ as an excuse to justify leaving.”

“That’s not true!” he protests, his voice rising slightly. “I didn’t plan for any of this to happen. You know how much I care about you.” I shake my head at his words. 

“No Spencer, you don't because if you did, we wouldn't be here. Don't act like there's nothing going on between you too because there is. I've seen the stolen glances, the lingering touches. Do you think im stupid? I've seen the way you look at eachother so don't. Don't try to pretend you care about my feelings because you do not.” A sob escapes my lips. My hands are shaking and tears are streaming down my face as I continue “You don't get it do you? You are my whole world Spencer. I'd give my life for you and all I get is ‘I didn't plan for this to happen?’ You’re leaving me for one of, not only yours, but also my best friend. Like who does that to someone they love.” I shake my head, my tears blurring my vision, and for a moment, it feels like the world is collapsing around me. 

“I thought we had something special,” I say, my voice cracking. “Every day for 2 years, I believed we were building a future together. But now, here we are, and you’re throwing it all away.”

“Just go Spencer, I can't look at you without it ripping my heart out.” My voice trembles. He freezes for a moment, his hand still hovering over the doorknob, and I can see the hurt in his eyes “Y/N…” he starts, but I can’t bear to hear any more. “Please,” I choke out, forcing myself to meet his gaze one last time. “Just go.” His eyes search mine, a mixture of longing and despair etched across his face, and I want to scream at him to stay, to tell him I’ll forgive him, that we can work through this. But I can't do that to myself.  “I’m so sorry,” he whispers, his voice cracking as he leaves my apartment for the last time. 

My knees give in, I hit the floor unable to hold myself up. A gut wrenching scream leaves my lips, it feels as if the walls are closing in on me suffocating me with the weight of my heartbreak. I curl into myself, clutching my arms around my legs, the tears flowing freely now as sobs wrack my body. Each cry is a release, a desperate attempt to let go of the pain that clings to me like a second skin. It's over

—

Tonight is the first pasta and wine night at Rossi’s since Spencer left me for JJ. I smooth out my dress before heading out. Emily came to pick me up, “Hey, gorgeous! Ready to have some fun?” she asks, pulling me into a quick hug. I force a smile. “Yeah, let’s do this.” 

The drive to Rossi’s was quiet. I felt like Emily wanted to say something but chose not to pry. As we pulled into the driveway of Rossi’s gorgeous house, I saw Spencer’s car already parked. It made my stomach uneasy. I feel a pang in my chest, but I shake it off as we step inside.

“Y/N! Emily! You made it!” Penelope squeals, rushing over to pull me into a tight hug. Her excitement is contagious, and I can’t help but smile. “Of course! Wouldn’t miss Rossi’s cooking for the world,” I reply, attempting to sound cheerful. I felt Emily squeeze my hand, she gave me an encouraging smile as we walked further into the house. 

I catch glimpses of Spencer and JJ together as we walk past the kitchen into the living room. They’re sitting side by side on the couch, sharing quiet laughs and playful nudges. The way Spencer leans closer to her, the way JJ tucks her hair behind her ear, it all feels like a cruel reminder of what I’ve lost. I swallow hard, forcing myself to look away.

I walk back into the kitchen not wanting to witness them for another second taking a seat on the island with Emily standing next to me. “How are you doing bella?” Rossi asks concern etched on his face as he sets down a plate of freshly baked garlic bread.

I force a smile, trying to mask the hurt inside me. “I’m okay. Just… enjoying the night.” He gives me a knowing look, one that makes my heart sink a little. “You know I’m here for you, right? You don’t have to put on a brave face for me. And I know you’ll find someone, in fact they may be closer than you think.” I look at him confused. “Thanks, Rossi,” I reply, my voice soft. “I appreciate it.” I look back at Emily whose cheeks are now covered in a pink hue.

“What’s going on with you two?” I ask, raising an eyebrow playfully to mask my curiosity. She straightens up, her demeanour shifting. “Nothing! Just… a little wine, that’s all,” she stammers, glancing at the glass in her hand as if it holds all the answers. “Uh-huh, sure,” I tease.

After dinner we all begin to, wine is flowing a little more freely, and laughter filling the spaces between conversation. I catch JJ glancing at me more than once from across the living room, but I do my best to avoid her eyes, pretending to be focused on Emily’s story about some misadventure with Penelope. Eventually, JJ stands up “I’ll be right back,” she whispers to Spencer before making her way to the couch im seated on, and I feel the dread in my stomach grow as she walks towards me.

“Y/N?” JJ’s voice is gentle as she comes to stand by me. “Can we… talk for a second?” I hesitate, glancing at Emily, who gives me a subtle nod. I take a deep breath, then nod, standing up to follow JJ out of the living room and onto the back patio. The cool winds brushed me, I instinctively wrapped my arms around myself. 

“Y/N,” JJ begins softly, “I know I should’ve talked to you sooner. I just… I didn’t want to hurt you more than I already have.” I blink back the sting of tears in my eyes, She takes a breath, “I didn’t plan for any of this to happen. It just… did. And I’m sorry. I never wanted to cause you pain.” I nod slowly, taking a deep breath to steady myself. “I know, JJ,” I whisper, my voice softer than I expected. “But you did. You really hurt me.”

JJ’s face falls, and I can see the guilt in her eyes as she steps a little closer, her voice shaky. “I’m so sorry, Y/N. And you have every right to not forgive me or let me in your life. I care about you. You’re my family.”

I give her a small, sad smile. “That’s the thing, Jaje,” I say quietly. “You’re like my big sister. I’ve always looked up to you, trusted you. That’s why this hurts so much. I don’t know why you’d do this.”

She looks down, biting her lip as tears well up in her eyes. “I never wanted to hurt you,” she says again, her voice breaking. “It just… I don’t know how to explain it. Spencer and I, we just…”

I shake my head, cutting her off gently. “You don’t have to explain. I get it. These things happen, and I know you didn’t plan for it. But it still hurts, JJ.” Her shoulders sag, and I can see the weight of her guilt bearing down on her. “I know,” she whispers, tears spilling over. “And I wish I could take it back. I really do.” I reach out, placing my hands on her arms lightly, offering her an understanding look. “I can forgive you, JJ,” I tell her softly. “With time, I will. But right now… I just need space. I need time to heal.” JJ nods, wiping at her eyes with the back of her hand. “I understand. And I’m so sorry, Y/N. I wish I could make it right.”

“I know you are,” I reply. “And I appreciate that you’re here, apologising. But it’s going to take time.” She sniffs, trying to compose herself. “If you ever want to talk, I’ll be here. I just want you to know that.”

I give her a small nod. “Thanks, JJ. You’ll always be my sister. No matter what. I love you.” JJ’s breath hitches at my words, her eyes widening in surprise. But as I pull her into a tight hug, I feel her tense body soften against mine, and she wraps her arms around me in return. “I love you too, Y/N,” she whispers, her voice thick with emotion. “I always will.” I give her a warm smile before returning to the group. 

—

It’s been a month since everything with Spencer and JJ. A long, painful month, but slowly, things have been getting easier. I’ve been spending more time with Emily lately. She’s been there for me, a constant source of support when I needed it most. What started as a few friendly drinks after work or late-night phone calls turned into something more, a connection I hadn’t realised was forming. 

Tonight, the team is out for drinks, one of those rare evenings where the case is over, and for once, we don’t have to rush off to the next one. The bar is lively, the music loud, and the energy infectious. Emily and I have been dancing for the past hour, laughing and letting loose. I haven’t felt this carefree in a long time. I step away from the dance floor for a second, and go to the table where Derek, Penelope, Aaron, Rossi, and Spencer were sat. Emily and JJ went to grab drinks. 

“So, you and Prentiss looked pretty cozy out there. Do I sense a relationship perhaps?” Derek teases me, nudging my shoulder with a playful grin, I roll my eyes, trying to play it off, but I can feel a blush creeping up my face. “Derek, it’s not like that,” I protest, though my voice betrays me. 

Penelope leans in, her eyes have a look of mischief. “Uh-huh, sure. You’ve been glued to each other all night. Just saying.” Even Hotch cracks a small smile, sipping his drink. “It’s been nice to see you so relaxed lately,” he says, with genuine warmth in his voice. I can’t help but smile back “I’m just enjoying the night, guys. And even if I like her, who says she likes me?” They all look at me in shock, “Y/n be serious for a second, she cant get enough of you. You guys are attached at the hip every second you’re together.” Penelope exclaimed, trying to convince me. “I- I don't know you guys…” I shake my head reluctantly, as Morgan is about to reply Emily and JJ come back with drinks for everyone. “What’re we talking about?” Emily asked as she slid into the booth next to me. ��They’re being ridiculous as always and I kinda wanna leave…” I whispered the last part leaning into her shoulder. “Alright we can leave, ok you guys I think we’re done for the night. We're gonna head out!” I let out a breath of relief as we made our way out of the bar. 

Emily took my hand into hers shooting chills up my spine. I thought about Penelope and Derek’s words, could she really see me like that? Especially after seeing me and supporting my relationship with one of our mutual friends? As I was about to speak up Emily beat me to it. 

“You know, you're someone I look forward to seeing everyday Y/n.” The look in her eyes made my heart skip a beat. I felt a blush creep up my cheeks, I swallowed, nervousness and excitement swirling inside me. “Emily…” I look down to hide the grin forming on my face. 

“And I don't want to rush you. I know this isn't where you thought you'd be but Y/n I- I like you a lot. And I underst-” she continued, but before she could finish I reached up pressing my lips against hers. 

Emily froze for a split second before melting into the kiss, her hand coming up to gently cup my face. The world seemed to stop as we stood there, wrapped in each other, my heart pounding in a way I hadn’t felt in so long. It felt like all the tension and unspoken words from the past few months were pouring out between us in that single, tender moment.

When we finally broke apart, she kept her forehead pressed to mine, her voice barely a whisper. “I didn’t think I’d be this lucky tonight.” I let out a shaky laugh, feeling a surge of emotions that I’d tried to ignore for so long. “I didn’t think I’d ever feel this way again… but here you are.”

Emily smiled, her thumb brushing over my cheek as she pulled me close. “One step at a time, okay? We don’t have to figure it all out tonight.” I nodded, a wave of relief washing over me. “Yeah. I’d like that. One step at a time.”

(Spencer’s Pov)

I stepped out of the bar and caught sight of Y/N and Emily up ahead, walking together under the dim glow of the streetlights, her hand held in Emily’s. My heart clenched. Not being with her has been eating away at me, more than I wanted to admit. She was right about everything—how I took her for granted, how I’d let myself fall for JJ, that I lost sight of what really mattered.

Seeing her now, laughing softly with Emily, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I’d made the biggest mistake of my life. I’d tried to convince myself that walking away was for the best, that it would be easier on both of us, but watching her find happiness without me made it all feel final. She deserves someone who would make her feel seen, who wouldn’t let her slip through their fingers. And maybe Emily could be that person in a way I never could.

As they turned the corner, I hesitated, realising I didn’t have a reason to go after her anymore, and it ripped my heart out. 

“2 years, and 75 days…”

[thesleepyfable]

~ SWTD: Still Here AU Part 24: ~

A Lighthouse:

We're in the final 3rd of the story. About another 3-4 chapters left. I hope everyone's enjoyed the journey so far, and with what's the come.

The difference between Caz and Suze was staggering. Whilst she sat to attention on the bench table, without a single slouch in her body, Caz was hunched, twiddling his thumbs as his foot bounced. They had found a small footpath by the side of the garden, which led to a small clearing for the public, less than a quarter of a mile away from the farm. It was only empty because it was out of season. With a deep breath, Caz sat to attention and rested his hands on the table.

'Shit, Caz,' Suze muttered. She held out a hand, and Caz instantly accepted. 'I'm so sorry you had to go through that. All of you.' He told her everything. From when he and Gregor fell into the sea, to watching that thing die and turn to dust.

Suze gave herself a moment to take it all in. She tapped the table with her free hand whilst she thought of what to even say. Her grip on Caz tightened, helping his body relax.

'I heard you.' She frowned. 'In whatever it was. I heard your voice calling to me or repeating things you said.' His grip tightened as well. 'I think I'm infected.' Suze's face fell, and her skin turned white.

'Jesus, Caz. Will you-'

'No,' he interrupted with a shake of his head. 'I would have turned by now.'

'Then, how do you know you're infected?'

'A lighthouse.'

'Because, after I was fished out from the sea, I can tell whenever they're nearby. I'm a fucking radar to them now.' Saying that made Caz weakly chuckle, but it was empty. He was tired. So tired. Suze paused for a moment. Now, she knew what to say.

'What?'

'You're more like a lighthouse.' It took Caz a moment to understand what she was saying, and when it clicked, he just started laughing. He didn't feel tired anymore. Finally, a smile crossed both of their faces. Together, they laughed for a few seconds.

'Well, I'm not going to work on one of those.'

They let their laughter fade. This hard conversation wasn't over yet, but there was a lightness between them. The grey storm cloud lingering above them didn't look angry anymore.

'So, how did you manage to them back?'

'Shipping containers.'

'Don't they go straight to the docks?'

'Aye.' With all that's happened, Caz had to remind himself that was only yesterday. 'Gave that cheap bastard Bernard Cunningham a right-fright. But Rennick got him to turn the other cheek and let us either go home or here. Quiet the adventure, eh?'

'Well, I do remember saying you were feeling adventurous.'

'Yeah. I think I'm ready to go back to flats and shops, if I don't get thrown in jail, but...' Caz's smile vanished. He didn't want to navigate the storm. He had to be brave. 'Will you be there with me?'

'Yes,' Suze answered without a moments hesitation. Caz was surprised by that. 'I took a vow. And, despite what's happened to us over these past months, you're still my love. We can weather this. You, me, and the girls.'

Tears filled his eyes again. Caz lowered his head and composed himself with a deep, shakey breath.

'Has it been hard without me?'

'What about Billy?'

'Aye...'

'He's kept his distance, but he's not dropped the charges. Had a few drop ins from the police, but they've stopped over the last month.'

'I'm sorry.'

'Don't be.'

'Are you okay?'

'I am now.'

'Good.'

For whatever reason, Caz didn't think that far. He knew he was only thinking of himself when he chose to run away, but in his mind, he was doing it for everyone. Adding charges by fleeing and putting more stress on Suze was something he heavily overlooked. What a selfish fool he had been. Yes, of course, he still wanted to slip away. He still held out hope in Bernard's office, but reality was quick to remind him that wasn't going to happen. Not unless he was fine in tearing the family apart more, to which he wasn't.

'Rennick got a letter from the mainland. The police had contacted him, and I don't blame you for telling them where I am-'

'I didn't.'

The pair frowned and shared a confused look.

'What?'

'I never told the police anything, Caz.'

'But then how did they...'

'I did it,' came the small voice of Maidie. The pair, with surprised eyes, turned to see the young girl coming out of her hiding spot. She'd been standing behind one of the fence poles surrounded by dead bushes, listening to everything. She didn't understand the big words and deep topics, but it was enough to make her confess.

'Maidie?'

Her face was beat red from her silent sobs. For weeks, she'd been holding in the guilt, putting on a brave face, but now she finally started to crack. Maidie mumbled her words and gripped the bottom of her coat, unsure with what to do with herself.

'They-They said if I told them where you were, then they'd bring you home. I'm so sorry, Daddy. I don't want you to go to jail!' Now she sobbed. Maidie's screams and cries could be heard across the Highlands. Without a second thought, Caz swept her into his arms. She wrapped her arms around his neck and continued to sob into his shoulder. 'Don't hate me, Daddy! I'm sorry! I'M SORRY!'

'Ssshh...Ssshh...' Caz began to bounce and stroke her hair. 'It's okay, Mads. It's okay. What you did was very brave.' The girl didn't respond for a moment and continued to cry.

'You won't go to jail, will ye?'

'Ssshh... Don't think about it. I'm sorry you heard anything. How about we get Uncle Roy to make you a hot chocolate, eh?' She nodded. 'Good girl.'

Caz and Suze shared another look. He wasn't going to lie to Maidie. Not after all he's put them through. Of course, he was going to jail. Brodie and the others might put in a good word for him, but was that enough? Caz always doubted that, despite how grateful he was. He adjusted the weight of Maidie to rest on one of his arms, and he held his hand out for Suze. She accepted, and together, the three began to make their way back. They could feel the cloud getting smaller above their heads. It wasn't gone yet it no longer bothered them with its suffocating presence. Was that a good thing? Were Caz and Suze on the mend now?

'New Year,' Caz told himself. 'I just want to be with them until after New Year.' Three days, he was going to enjoy with his loved ones and friends. However, under the kind face he held for his wife and daughter, a rage boiled. How dare the police pressure and manipulate his daughter like that, and make her miserable. How Maidie was able to carry this guilt for weeks was beyond him and something he had to commend.

As for Suze, her own guilt was overwhelming. She had been so wrapped up in her anger towards Caz that she didn't even notice how much Maidie was suffering in silence. Questions and thoughts raced through her mind. Ranging from how terrible of a mother she must be, to wondering why Maidie didn't say anything. Her thoughts began to reflect on her face, with wide eyes and a chewed lower-lip. Caz lightly squeezed her hand, snapping Suze back into reality. She glanced to her husband. Caz didn't say anything, but the look on his face said it all.

'Don't worry. We can figure it out later.'

'Still not answering?' Caz called.

A small nod from Suze in return. She moved closer and rested her head against his, with a small smile on her face.

The first thing Caz noticed when they got back was Rennick using a tendril to hang up the phone inside the corridor. He didn't look happy. There was that tired look in his eyes. He must have heard the snow crunching under their feet because he quickly put on a stoic face.

'Not yet.'

'Give it time. I'm sure he will.'

Rennick turned to leave with a huff, stopped to pause, and then looked back. 'Thanks.' It was genuine. Caz didn't react, but he heard as his little family went to find Roy and the others.

Rennick went to leave again, until the sight of someone approaching from the drive behind the McLeary's caught his attention. An older woman with greying, short blonde hair, wearing a thick brown coat and dressed appropriately for the heavy snow compared to everyone else. She tried not to be shocked at the sight of Rennick, who in turn tried not to show disappointment. They knew each other.

'Rennick.'

'Mary.'

'Where's Dónal?'

[deathbxnny]

Hiya! Can I request Lynette, Kaeya, and Ayaka with a sibling!reader who sleep talks in their sleep?

I was inspired by my sibling who sleep talks the most random stuff in their sleep. We both shared a room together when we were younger, so I had heard some of the stuff they say. While my sibling never said if i myself sleep talk but apparently my assigned roommate yesterday told me they possibly? heard me sleep talk.. I wonder if it's genetic?

context:

Write however you want but please make what reader say either funny ("seelies taste like mist flower core") or heartwarming ("I'm so glad we're siblings -insert chosen character-")

Hope you have a lovely day/night!

-Flower Anon 🌸

Genshin characters with a sibling that talks in their sleep. | Kaeya, Ayaka, Lynette x Gn!Reader

Hello Flower Anon!! Thank you for your great request, I had a lot of fun writing this!<33

Content: Sibling reader, platonic relationships, unserious, sfw

Reader has no set pronouns!

((Not proofread))

》KAEYA

Said man was used to your rather odd sleeping habits since you were children in the dawn winery. Sleep talking was the norm for you, and whilst it usually was only a couple of words, it was still hilarious every time. This time, however, you actually spoke in whole sentences in your sleep during a sleepover at his humble home.

"... I want to eat snow so I can grow taller..." You whispered in the dead of night whilst he was busy completing the last of his paperwork. His head tilted to you in confusion, your back turned to him as you spoke. Were you asleep? He was unsure. "Hm? Why's that?" "Milk... makes you taller... and snow is white... so it's milk." Ah, you were definitely asleep. And quite responsive at that! Snorting, he put down his pen and crossed his arms, body leaning back in absolute amusement. "Oh? I didn't know that." "Many don't... no one can know this secret..." "I see, who told you about it though?" "... The snowmen. They are watching."

Kaeya raised a brow at the ominous message yet it took everything in him not to burst into laughter. You certainly wouldn't remember saying any of that in the morning... but he would for sure.

》Lynette

"If I drank all the sea water in Fountaine, would the fish float in place?" Silence overtook the bedroom you shared with your sister, who was very much unamused. She just wanted to sleep, and yet, your mind didn't let her even in your sleep. Deciding to ignore you, she pulled the blankets over her head and prayed you'd stop soon. But alas, you still had a lot more to share. "I think they will, because they can actually fly and are lying to us..." More silence, and the girl had to realise that you were in a better mood than usual. It wasn't abnormal for you to talk in your sleep but this was getting ridiculous!

Taking a deep breath, she lowered her blankets and gave your sleeping form an unimpressed glance. "Stay quiet and go to sleep properly." She muttered, but you clearly didn't seem to hate her properly in your dreams. "And you know what...? If the fish can fly... then Freminet can probably fly, too... oh my god, he can-" You were shaken from your deep sleep by a door slamming shut, as your sister fast walked down to another room with her blankets in hand.

You had the nerve to ask her why she left in the morning, clearly not remembering what happened, but she simply ignored you as a response with a tired huff.

》AYAKA

The one time you and Ayaka were sleeping in the same room, it definitely took her by surprise to see you sleep talking. It was certainly not common in the family. But what worried her the most were your ominous words. "What-" "-The birds... are walking towards us." You hummed into the darkness of the room, making your sister sit up in confusion. Had she accidentally left the door to the outside open? No way... she would've noticed the strong wind seeping in. She couldn't make out your form in the dimness of the room and therefore assumed that you were awake at first. "Uhm... where are they?" "They are on my head now, all three of them... and they can sing... but they are also red, so they shouldn't be able to."

Blinking, Ayaka slowly turned to your form next to her and out a hand on your shoulder carefully. Leaning forward, she could only barely see your closed eyes, which confirmed that you were indeed sleeping. Ah, so that was it... you were somehow sleep talking? "Oh... well, tell them you have to sleep." "Okay..." With a small hiccup, you relaxed back into a deep sleep, and the silence was deafening.

She definitely brought it up to an awfully amused Ayato the next morning, who reassured that this was normal for you. Expect to be teased about it, too.

[interstellar-productions]

I want to continue my earlier post about Aaron and pastels. More specifically i want to talk about why i think he would naturally lean to pastels. (Outside of my own personal bias of putting pretty boys in pretty colors)

If we’re bringing in my Aaron post yesterday (about how he copes with his traumas) then i think he’d lean naturally to pastels for similar reasons as to why the rest of the OG foxes like the vibrant orange of PSU. Aaron doesn’t want people to see him or look at him, he wants people to glance right over him. The artist part of me considers the symbolism of colors and how they can be used to convey messages.

With that i bring you this. The foxes use bright orange as their colors so that way they can’t be looked over. This has more then one meaning to me as a psych major and art enthusiast. The general public doesn’t like to acknowledge people like the foxes because their living breathing proof that the world is an ugly place. These are people that have been used and abused to a point where they’ve been severely damaged. By the foxes colors being bright orange its a statement that forces people to acknowledge their existence, their survival. “You ignored me when I was being broken. You will NOT ignore me now that I have to live with the aftermath of your ignorance” for the foxes the bright colors are an act of defiance.

Aaron hates the bright orange, he doesn’t want people to see him because people seeing him means that he has to admit what happened too him. That’s why he hates the bright orange because everyone knows what it represents and more importantly it’s such a bright color he can’t hide when he wears it. He’s forced to stand out and be seen.

Thus we move forward to several years down the line (in my mind he starts with socks in his senior year) he’s made peace with himself and what happened to him. Therapy and strong support system and building better relationships with his family (the foxes). He might never really get to the point of wearing or being comfortable in the bright fox orange (I imagine that all the foxes still have certain things that are fox orange, I also imagine that Aaron has never felt comfortable in the color). But i think at some point he gets used to wearing pastels. Aaron and Andrew wear dark colors a lot in the books and i have to think that for Aaron it comes from needing to blend in and Andrew it comes from a place of intimidation.

So as Aaron gets more comfortable and heals he starts to unconsciously lean to pastels colors. The foxes use neons to make themselves seen. Aaron leans into pastels.

The foxes: im going to make you notice me so that way you’ll never be able to say “i didn’t know” again.

Aaron: its ok if you look at me, I’ve made my peace with what i am

The foxes what you to see them, thats how they heal.

Aaron grows to be ok with being seen even if he doesn’t go trying to make people notice him.

Just Aaron whose version of healing is him going from so violently wanting not be noticed and wanting to be normal so bad it physically pains him, growing to be comfortable with maybe not being completely normal and becoming ok with standing out just slightly. Just enough.

Aaron going from being scared of being noticed to be ok with it if it happens.

Making peace with it. Making peace with himself.

And it all starts his last year at PSU when he’s at the mall and comes across a pair of socks that will be so comfortable with his scrubs and work shoes. He doesn’t even care that their sky blue with pastel creamsicle orange fox silhouettes.

[timegears-moved]

.