#idk why im emotional over this
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ive been rewatching alot of x-life stuff recently and joel talking about being a fan of hermitcraft and not knowing the hermits very well and not thinking hed ever be invited feels so insane
#ALSO HE SAYS IN ONE OF THE STREAMS#THAT THE BEST MC BUILDER IS PEARL#ITS SO CUTE#idk why im emotional over this#something about timelines#gem was on xlife as well and seeing them interact there was also like crazy to me#because i didnt know gem then so watching that one coven scene i was like holy shit#i mean also theres something about mumbo being an og fan of joel#alshsksgdjdgjshskshd sjshsjshvsjkagsjshskshdjskshdkadgakdhkshdkssh#joel smallishbeans#smallishbeans#hermitcraft#ok but humble king
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ooough jebin me beloved <3
#soundleer's art#sprunki#i think i may have love him a bit too much to where i anthromorphized him#also idk why but for the first image i hc sky to be a runaway child due to emotional abuse and finds comfort from jevin#i like to think sky often visits the building where jevin practices his cultivation when he ran away from home and uhh yea-#i need to flesh out the headcanon bc i do genuinely like it but yee#run away hc aside im still not over this interactive jevin game like WHY IS HE SO CUTE HES A GOOBERRR 😭😭#who gave him permission to be this cute im gonna scrungle him but i have a heart so i cant do affectionate things aggressively waaa-#fine ill feed jebin the tunner muffin and the black cookie. they'll be killed but at least my 42 year old baby is happy :33#sprunki jevin#sprunki sky#sprunki tunner#sprunki black#<- last two tagged charas are the foods lol
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Excuse me but the idea of MC and Xav sitting on their respective balconies and texting each other The Tea while people watching in their neighborhood is both so silly and so endearing to me.
So let's go on a small adventure, shall we?
Warnings: None.
Just fluff. Pure, unadulterated fluff.
The late morning sun was already warming you through the windows of your tiny apartment before you'd even stepped foot outside. It was finally mid-spring in Linkon, which meant you could enjoy your late breakfast on the patio without having to worry about a stray chill or errant frost dampening your weekly Saturday 'brunch' plans.
Opening the patio door with your granola bar in one hand and phone in the other, you settle into the cushioned bench that overlooked your apartment courtyard and took a deep breath. Sometimes it felt like winter was neverending in Linkon, but you could finally feel the tension of the gripping cold that had settled in your bones start to slowly bleed from you.
After getting comfortable, you finally pulled out your phone, and quickly found your brunch 'date's' contact info, sending him the customary "Get up it's people watching hour" text.
[Hey Xav, you up? I'm already on my balcony?]
It doesn't take long for his reply. This has been your weekly tradition for a few months now. Ever since you had both just so happened to see that kid getting dragged down the street by the monstrous hound, it had become something of a... habit for the two of you to text each other the funny happenings on your street when you were home. Not that either of you were particularly prone to gossip, but the simple domesticity of it was oddly comforting after a long week of getting slogged on by wanderers.
[Yeah I'm up. Give me a sec]
The soft ping of your notification broke the peace, followed shortly by the shuffling of his patio door sliding open from above you. Sure, you could simply call out and greet him, as the acoustics out here are great and the soundproofing is atrocious, but the silence is cozy, and the atmosphere almost feels magical. This is your ritual, after all.
It's a bit like a storybook scene, you think, the two of you sharing a moment in time together yet still separated by some outside force. Maybe it was silly, but the fabricated longing almost made it feel romantic in a way that you're sure your neighbor would find ridiculous.
When you hear his footsteps above you come to a halt, you immediately notice something in particular is missing, however.
[You forgot your coffee Xav. Are you gonna be able to stay awake?]
[How could U tell?]
[I didn't smell any burning 🤭🔥]
He doesn't reply, but you can hear the huff he makes over the railing as his footsteps retreat, fading behind the sliding door once again. You don't even try to hold back the laughter his reaction elicits from you, hopeful the concrete carries it to him easily.
When he finally does reemerge, faint smell of bitter charred beans on the wind, his phone is already buzzing with the morning's newest additions to your people watching portfolios.
An older man you'd long ago dubbed "Green Thumb" who liked to frequent the flower garden outside your apartment complex was already taking photos of the new stargazer lily blossoms that had just opened this morning. So enamored by the vibrant petals, he didn't even seem to notice the couple he'd backed into who'd happened to spill their groceries all over the sidewalk. You heard Xavier call "Watch out!" From above you when he'd recognized the impending impact, but at your distance, it was no use.
[That was nice of you Xav. Too bad it didn't help 🫠]
[I can't believe they didn't see Green Thumb. He was so hard to miss. Even when Ur distracted U still see better]
[HEY! I'm not the one who sleep walks! 💀]
[And yet I'm always there to guard Ur back partner]
He's right of course, though you're not going to tell him. Xavier likes to play the part of a soft and harmless little thing, but it doesn't take much to stoke the hunter into burning hotter than you intended. His evol might be light, but you know better than anyone that light, under careful concentration, can start a blazing fire if you're not mindful. His teasing isn't ever harmful though, so instead you decide to simply poke the bear.
[Only because I'm starting to suspect you like it back there]
The distinct sound of a phone accidentally hitting the concrete marks the end of that thread.
Its not long before another of your regulars, pair of young kids Xavier had called the Trouble Twins arrived on scene. Aptly named for the number of times their poor mother has chastised them for chasing the ducks and picking the flowers, the siblings were quite the rambunctious duo. Today they seem to be a few steps ahead of their vigilant mother, rushing into the park with high-pitched hollers and improvised swords made of small branches they'd found. Today's unfortunate conquest seemed to be the pigeons that were being fed by the local grannies.
[They look like a pair of knights today don't they?]
[Knights? Don't knights usually protect people?]
[Maybe they're protecting us from the pigeons]
[Xavier those old ladies look pretty mad idk. That one even tried to chase the boy and almost caught him!]
The pause in messages was punctuated by his soft laughter above you, carried on the spring breeze. It was so warm, so genuine, so comfortable. You didn't need a mirror to feel the heat bloom in your cheeks; the overwhelming sensation of ardor flooding you at the the very sound.
[You're right. He needs more training. A good Knight should never be caught by an old lady]
[.... I don't think that's the message here Xav]
The rest of your morning goes back and forth like this for another hour. Watching your favorite people pass by, concocting new and interesting stories for them as they pass your balconies. Xavier has very interesting and oddly insightful opinions on those around him, considering you don't really recall seeing him with many friends. None the less, his company and companionship on your balconies has easily become your favorite part of the week. The only noises between you are the laughter that passes back and forth as the texts volley from one to another.
Finally, as the afternoon sun starts to become an uncomfortable heat, your phone chimes once more.
[I'm getting kind of hungry]
[Oh good. You're warning me this time. Thanks!]
[What?]
[No. I was going to ask if U wanted to go to lunch. With me, I mean?]
And just like that, the storybook was snapping shut. No longer a fragment lost in time where two people gazed at the same scene together from two separate places, but a tangible moment you could step into. Something intimate and real.
Perhaps you stayed in this thought a moment too long, or your silence below him made him second guess himself, as the chime of your phone snapped you out of your daze again.
[I didn't mean to impose if U have plans]
[I know it's Ur day off too]
Fumbling with the suddenly slippery device, softly cursing, and praying he didn't hear, you quickly hammer out the only thing that's been playing in your head on repeat-
[Yes absolutely! I'd love to grab some lunch I'm starving]
[Meet me downstairs in 30?]
#look i had 3 hours of sleep and i chose to this idk why#written in a single go like a psychopath#and now im going to bed gnight ♡#lnds#love and deepspace#lads#l&ds#love & deepspace#xavier#xavier love and deepspace#xavier lnds#xavvy baby#kay writes#this text was just too cute I had too i was over come with emotions#god why is Xavier so adorable ugh#so soft boy sometimes i love himb#also-#not proofread we die like men#sorry im Le~ tired ill edit tomorrow
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I hate the stretch lines in the front of Curly's uniform because that means the devs rushed to make a model in like a month or so and thought "They gotta at least know he has huge knockers, gotta know he's got back pain." Cause like what is the thematic importance of his tits having overhang?
What responsibility is that representing? Breast reduction? It shows an inherent greed in his character due to the excess and heshouldletmeholdone and that he clearly is blinded cause if he tries to look down his damn ladder all he's seeing is his own cleavage.
#this is my curly slander post ig#disclaimer i need you to understand i see all fictional men i like as like butches Curly is no exception#but like they didnt need to add that many polygons to his chest like its unnessary and honestly a little mean he already has so many things#to handle and you expect him to hold those boys up like that just aint right this is like something so stupid but i know you can tell im#having strong feelings about it cause like what was the point why did they survive the fucking crash it has to be a injoke at this point#with the devs it shouldnt make me this mad im turning into a misandrist but only towards large chested men#mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#shitpost#suggestive#ig because this is just about his chest but like also they made him objectively pretty for no reason like yeah like ideal man and work ig#but they went over the extra mile like i have a right to be mad they did that much for a model we see canonically for like two seconds its#crazy actually how little we see of curly pre crash because we also lose his physical movements to help characterize him the way we see#body language with the other characters and how it gives way to their struggles and personalities and sentiments in certain moments#like all he does and how he emotes is stifled by the fact we always play as him until the last moments where he takes over to try and save#the ship and crew and even right before that the scene is so wrought with tension we cant tell what that look he gave Jimmy meant due to#the limitations of the models and how stiff Curly is like was it fear acceptance denial we dont know enought about how he acts himself#to tell and then everything else is charaterized by what Jimmy had done to where we dont really just get to see Curly as himself like Anya#and Swansea and Daisuke we have no idea how theyd act in a regular moment outside of a few glimpses and even then it is them doing#their jobs like grrrr we hate an unreliable narrator but also its the fact jimmy clearly does not interact with them or try to outside of#his position as copilot and then captain harkening back to the entire capitlist view of utility and how he views all of them as useless eve#Curly which fandom tangent the fandom also tends to do to Curly as they base every trait on what they think he failed to do as Captain#between Jimmy and Anya when the QnAs kinda make him out to be a rather open and willing person but still someone who isnt like a push over#just thinking of QnA three where it mentions hes very open to trying new things and you need to be an open minded person to open urself up#to failure like that and ig this is just the weird view that Curly needs to learn that or that theres redemption he needs personality wise#verses healing and learning from trauma like idk its the idea that people assume he did abosultely nothing when the games points out direct#and throught parallels he was taking actions its just wasnt enough and an over focus on absolute inaction vs ineffective methods used to#tackle the issues and themes the game grapples with plus wanting someone to take the blame and have to make it up to Anya even tho#i think it would mean nothing from Curly because she saw his efforts and would be disappointed it wasnt enough but the idea she would#disregard the attempts or not acknoweldge Jimmy as the epicenter compared ot Curly is weird and too focused on someone
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thinking abt dick giving jason his number.... the ski trip they went on..... oh they tried to be close didn't they. they tried. even if for a bit, even if for a day or some moments. they tried.
#my emotional state has been an oversensitive wreck these past few days#idk why im so emotional over this one random thought#dick grayson#jason todd
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god DAMN college loneliness actually hits hard :-(
#dragon's discussions#i dont even knwo why ims ad#i got emotional over fuckin WAGO WHEEL by darius rucker#and i wanna drive so bad#but im sad and lonely now and idk why im lonely when i clearly have friends here#like. theyre new friends so we dont have a warriors bond yet#but theyre pretty good friends!!!#and theyre all so cool!!!!!!#but im so fucking sad and i want a really big hug and i want someone to cuddle with#augh its lonely#i was just thinking earlier that i was adjusting well cuz i wasnt thinking stuff like#'ok college is great but im going home this wekeend' and i didint miss my parents that much#but i kinda feel really touch starved rn#whatever#i push on [actively sobbing]
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i couldnt fall asleep and spent the last few hours watching tiktoks of people pretending to be wolves so i probably cant articulate this well rn but i think theres something deeply sad about how much of not just fandom but life in general is done with ironic detachment nowadays. a kind of plausible deniability of feeling anything at all. and i catch myself doing this too!! its just a lot easier to not be vulnerable and earnest online. baring ur soul in front of anyone is terrifying because ur always giving them the opportunity to hurt u when u do it
like even with this post a part of my brain is going ok its not that deep omg but like. maybe it is that deep. maybe the things we do and say and the way we navigate the world matters even in an online space about a sitcom. maybe everything can have meaning and we should be careful of what we are saying and listen to other people and try to be nice to each other because theres already plenty of cruelty in the world
and again i have the internet socialised part of my brain screaming at me that this is cringe and nobody cares but again thats stupid. like thats stupid. nobody is being held at gunpoint to read my dumb rambles and if people mock my words thats their personal failure and not mine. u just have to kinda not listen and be earnest anyways and be comforted by the fact that this mindset of self denial isnt healthy for anyone. u cant be detached and happy those two things are mutually exclusive and irony is a thing that can genuinely poison you. like im speaking from experience i literally have the same kind of brainrot and i think that most people have it, especially gen z since we grew up on the internet and started curating the way people perceive us online way too soon. like yeah theres a point where u only know the self that exists to be perceived and that sucks i think.
mocking others vulnerability is fun and safe but it cant make you happy. the only thing that can is being genuine and open and vulnerable. its scary but its the only way. what im trying to say is that the live laugh love girlies were kinda onto something (minus the christian fundamentalism) and we are gradually spiraling into a world in which nothing is real and everything is a commodity and the only way to save ur soul is to be genuine and earnest with people u love and with the world in general. lets cling to our humanity as capitalism alienates us and keeps us trapped in a perpetual cycle of dissatisfaction so we can consume and be consumed forever and ever while giving just enough to keep the engine pumping. im not saying that actively trying to be earnest is the antidote for capitalism but i do think it helps salvage our humanity. and i do think its the only way to be happy
#like yeah idk ill always be a person that feels things deeply and gets emotional about dumb things#and ive learned to grow a hard shell over my feelings that im still trying to whittle down#and even now its like. why am i saying over dumb things? why am i doing that to myself#theres no such thing as being emotional over a dumb thing because being emotional is never stupid. its good and important#this isnt sunny fandom specific just something ive noticed online#idk. and even in person. tho its worse online ofc because#further detachment via screen etc#i should sleep
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someone replied to one of my posts with this and i am removing this from context but i just think gwen literally looks so so cute here im almost in tears about it… babygirl of all time…
#SHES LITERALLY :)#SHES THE :) EMOTICON IRL!!! sorry but im so emotional over this and idk even why.#bbc merlin#bbc gwen#guinevere pendragon#gwen#e.txt
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Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.
Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.
#my characters#waiting on some info on the next commission so i indulged in ocs today bc i doubt i will have as much time for lil comics for a bit#deacon is so devoted hes like yeah i would kill for a deity that could easily kill anything himself but yknow teehee#and fulj just did you tell him you needed therapy also does he even know youd murder in his name#deacon caught red handed haha no of course i havent told him it should be obvious enough haha.... and its in his defense not his name :c#man really does have some issues but i love him so much and hes so devoted but like. unhealthily after a while#he does in fact need a chill pill and therapy but to be fair#ymber has needed therapy for centuries and yet he just bottles it all up and suffers so#its pretty unhealthy until they yell at each other one (1) time bc they are so insecure about things and get mad over very valid reasons#but then theyre like you know what that was necessary and i still want to stay by your side if you let me#and then fulj is like dude hey sorry you seem really happy did you fu- and ymber is like no please stop there we have not#fulj just squinting cause have not is very different than will not but whatever she doesnt wanna think about that with deacon involved ew#and eventually fulj is like hey ymber im sorry to say but i really do hate deacon and i dont even know why but he makes me uncomfortable#while deacon is just. in the room. hearing this and thinking how he knows she thinks hes weird but wow that wording hurts#and ymber doesnt wanna fill in memories better forgotten by fulj which she had forcefully removed#so he just says oh well his hair and clothing are black and you had someone in the past that you might see in him and its not a pleasant en#so you know maybe its that idk#and fulj is then WHATST i was rude to him for someone i cant even remember? lame im gonna try SO HARD to be nice to him now#and deacon just still sitting there with some food like this is v awkward and i wish i could not be here for it#and later he asks ymber about who he resembled and as ymber is descibing her it clicks in deacons head and he gets really sad#that he might somehow remind fulj of the woman she loved before she was punished for loving a mortal#and he feels kinda bad pestering her so much with his curiosities about deities and he kinda gets it#the fact hes close to ymber might remind her at the core that she was once that close with a mortal if not closer#anyway story time in the tags again#im so obsessed with these peeps and i have made them suffer so much but they do all end on a happy note#its still funny and nice to me that while fulj is creeped out by deacon and doesnt like talking to him#he still expresses the most emotions to her - he tries hard to remain serious around ymber and collected and obedient at all times#and when out and about with ymber he has to be intimidating and refuses smiling but fulj?? all sunshine and smiles and emotions easy to rea#and she is just that is so weird go away i hate you
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"If you could see yourself like this, you'd have never tried it"
#more playing around with different medias#and also colors ig#i just like my funky art crayons#also i want my sketchbook to be prettier and colors are fun#uhh so idk why i keep drawing angst???#im actually pretty solid mentally i just think drawing it is fun dhhshds#lots of emotions and interesting ways to express stuff#if anybody is curious the words are refrencing the song call your mom by noah kahan#cuz it popped up and i was like#suddenly i want to draw#so#had alot of trouble w chuuyas face ngl#didnt really sketch any of this out except chuuyas face cuz i didnt wanna mess it up lol#nit totally happy w it but eh its a doodle im not gonna stress myself over it#anyways#bungou stray dogs#soukoku#soukoku angst#chuuya nakahara#bsd chuuya#dazai osamu#bsd dazai#angst#bsd fanart#soukoku fanart#tw suicide#tw blood#also sorry for the bad picture it was 1 in the mornig when i took it lol#my art
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:(
#i literally feel VIOLENTLY ill at the fact the hospital handled my mum’s passing so badly that her funeral is exactly ONE MONTH after it#i’ll forever be furious and angry and hurt and traumatised by the way they handled it#like A MONTH#it should not be happening this long after#and it’s her birthday on sunday so maybe i’m just feeling ten times worse because of that#but it’s not fair#it’s never gonna be fair#why the FUCK did she get taken from me like this#and then having to be the only one who knew about her funeral plans bc she only told me#and then everybody including my dad tells me how strong i am#IM NOT STRONG!!?!!?!??!?#i’m a girl who needs her mama. i’m just a girl who is so lost and confused and needs her mama#i literally want 2 die#tw death#i turned my tv off and immediately started crying bc i felt like the worst person in the world#did i not love her enough#should i have been better to get#*her#idk i just want her to know i adored her#and i need to hear her voice and get a hug#one of the last things she said to me was ‘i love you more’ well i love you most so how about that#tw grief#i am never getting over losing her#please . feel free to let me rant i just feel like i can’t talk to my dad or family bc like idk .#i always talked to my mum about my emotions and well! that can’t happen anymore lmfao 😭#i just need a place to vent the HELL out of my feelings bc i am not going back to therapy
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Last day of first year mbbs. I never want to live it again (except maybe the day i got full in the viva ig)
#idk why is everyone being so emotional#It was hands down the hardest thing I’ve endured in my life im happy the year is over and im going home again
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Happy pride to Babette and raggedy Anne ONLY
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Types of guy who thinks Oct 7 (797 civilian deaths) was justified but the Lebanon pager/walkie attacks (42 deaths TOTAL, estimated 12 civilians) was a crime against humanity, because such a person inevitably exists:
Only cares about things that happen to people who look and sound like them (every group of people has this sort)
Entire moral compass guided by "the underdogs are always the good guys and it's bad to be mean to them," includes greatest hits like "drone strikes against ISIS are bad because robots are scary :("
Violently antisemitic*
*this post is NOT about criticizing Israel, it's about people who SUPPORT Oct 7 while being outspoken AGAINST the pager attacks. 95% this doesn't ever break containment but yknow. Just in case someone with miserable reading comprehension stumbles their way over here
#tldr for all of history: emotions are very powerful and make people act fucking stupid#idk why im so pissed off over an emotions-based post i saw earlier today#i dont even want to describe the post so i dont get called a monster by the underdog fetishists#rambles#politiposting#ykw. turning off reblogs
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Will yall laugh at me if i say this Tender Moment is genuinely making me tear up
#ughh bro im too cool for this#IDK#this whole story is doing something to me#the way he just have so much appreciation for mundane things#i think this story just struck a cord??? maybe thats why its fucking with me#also idk about yall but his theme song or character song...#the sound....it also makes me emotional and i do not fully understand why#me when someone plays notes in a specific order: its so fucking over#anyways um....#kind of in love with this guy lol#love and deepspace#love and deepspace rafayel
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Feeling a deep sense of yearning tonight
#the sky is a deep dark blue and i am looking at it trying not to cry thinking about how much cool stuff i could do if i lived in the city#or went outside actually#the tears are completely neitral btw idk why im having emotions enough to cry over it cause its not like im devestated#cawcaw motherfucker#i want to go places but im too scared to go out on my own for NO REASON#its not like im nkot allowed my younger brother was out all day today#on his own#ventish
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