#idk why i love them like that so much but i do

[beatlblog]

#they should have had this treatment during 68-69#they wouldnt have broken up imo 😔 (via @jarsfullofstarrs)

#ringo john paul and fifth beatle (via @misunderstandings-georg)

#this is what mark david chapman should've fucking done (via @ossifer)

#john no ass TRUE (via @necrophagesaint)

#is george in the fucking peter griffin death pose???#i’m dying 😂😂😂 (via @verydazedveryconfused)

#this will go into my list of favorites I have seen born out of#the glue trap posts. Like yeah this is just what the beatles look like (via @icarianarts)

#this really happened I seened it (via @rusholme)

#this is yoko ono erasure#unless thats her face down in the glue idk i dont know my beatles (via @ourladyoftheflytrap)

that may be the answer they were looking for in why don't we do it in the road (via @stumblngrumbl)

#ivan simon's worst nightmare (via @theflirtmeister)

#ringo’s horrified dying scream is genuinely disturbing me#also WHY DOES GEORGE HAVE MORE ASS THAN JOHN#this is biblically innacurate (via @thegalaxyinapaperbag2)

#this probably isn’t it but based off my doctor who mutuals this is basically the new episode?#I know the new one got something to do with the beetles#and the maestro (via @birdy-bird27)

#did wingo gonge bong & beatle really deserve this? (via @sylviaaaaaaaaaaaa)

#yknow this is actually precisely what they deserved#& the fact no one did this to them is the exact reason the world is so bad today (via @anarcho-sexual)

#imagine theres no heaven (via @brainw0rm5)

#stooooooooooooooop ringo looks like a fucked up moomin (via @dijon-mayonnaise)

#i hate the Beatles all of them.. gringle gongle pongle and john#/j (via @spirking-and-sparkling)

mostly john

Ob La Di? Heh. More like...

Ob LaDIE

(via @voxblade)

#okay ❤️ yay ❤️#the beatles#i need a clever queue tag#george harrison family guy fall pose real (via @cheriboms)

#yoko put them there (via @damagedlemons)

#it's what tolkien would've wanted (via @screwdisimgoinhome)

#ringo would somehow survive (via @realrogerhours)

#good riddance#the beatles#just noticed how cheeked up george is wowza#mr no ass gets the cheeks as a treat (via @nyxnoxxx)

#very earthbound image (via @bigbroemen)

#so soulful (via @h4ngedm1n)

#stu sutcliffe dodged being in the beatles and dying in this glue trap (via @baylen)

#i really enjoy that this is beatles circa sgt pepper (via @auxphonographic-dysphonia)

#how they lost the original paul (via @vault76)

#yuo should have given them little penisses (via @normalbrothers)

#LMAOO#is yhe tiny booty not enough for u??? (via @mmeathead)

#choosing to read those tags in a gollum voice (via @sumikatt)

John's buttcrack is too small (via @bi-ace-acle)

#holy FUCK this post has 17k notes???#my little beables blew up#oh now there's an idea#someone should draw that.....#the beatles being kerploded........ (via @70snasagay)

Smesrhglre will not apologize for messagesses (via @oneofathousentdumbasses)

#their penises got eaten off 😢#by the mice (via @wolfcrush)

#the ripped off during their attempts to escape (via @quirkybird)

#bingo starr finally got them all ....... (via @gayrmlin)

#the oenises would add to it for sure (via @hardcorehashbrown)

#unreleased beatles single dying in glue trap with your mates its called#boy's world (via @edgarware)

#nooo q les paso (via @itwasmaroonnn)

#the complete anguish in johns expression. good#also i love that you gave george an ass. that man was flat as a board thanks for the charity (via @wronglennon)

#1969#know your herstory#the bottles (via @brltpop)

#imagine all the people#dying in a glue trap (via @i-arch-my-backula)

#I love this art so much!!#still insane I have it tattooed on me (via @bandi-off)

#society if etc etc (via @soldiermywinter)

#the beatles#no wait these are#the bottles (via @noleygonteevee)

good on the correction

All of the Beatles dying in a glue trap

[clementine-thedestroyer]

What about Raccoon! reader and bear! price. I think that would be a funny play on the usual prey hybrid reader.

Like this trash panda keeps leaving berries and cool junk outside Prices cave. He doesn't think the trash is as nice as you do but when he finally catches you and you have to try and explain Raccoon courting to him, he gets to decide if he wants to accept your offering or not!

(idk anything about Raccoon courtship btw I made that up💀)

I’m obsessed. I love this so much.

Maybe you’re bringing him what, in your eyes, isn’t even trash. Anything shiny, soft, or remotely interesting will catch your interest- one man’s trash is another man’s treasure and all that- and of course you want to share your greatest treasures with him.

So you start brining him your best finds as little gifts. The first thing you bring to him is an old disco ball ornament meant to dangle from a rearview mirror (it’s got a few of the reflective tiles missing, but they’re no great loss).

The second gift you bring is one of the reflective, crinkly cat toys that looks like little balls of tinsel (shiny and crinkly!!), and the third gift is a section of shiny copper pipe you found about to be thrown out.

You bring him other, smaller gifts too- those were just your favorites. You bring him some of the little minnows you snatch from the creek’s shallow banks and every pretty rock that catches your eye. If you don’t mind bugs, maybe you even bring him a butterfly with pretty wings or a shiny beetle to enjoy.

And all the while, John is convinced someone is fucking with him. Why is there a pile of 3 flopping, still alive and actively suffocating minnows in front of his den? What’s he even supposed to do with them? Eat them? They’re not even half the size of his pinky finger. Unsure of what to do, he ends up picking them up and taking them back to the water, perplexed by the situation.

But as more and more “surprises” of the like show up, he’s only getting more and more confused. Within a month, he’s found piles of junk in front of his send and he’s had to escort multiple sets of minnows and even a few frogs back to the stream. What’s he supposed to make of all this? What possible reason could someone have for leaving a broken pencil for him to find. Was there some sort of message?? Was that metal pipe supposed to be a threat???

So eventually he gets tired of being messed with and has a stakeout, hiding back in the underbrush and watching the entrance to his den as night falls, hoping to catch the perpetrator in the act.

He falls asleep on watch, only waking up at the sound of light, cautious footsteps near the entrance of his den.

He doesn’t hesitate. He knows this must be who’s been messing with him for the past few weeks.

He shoots out of the bushes, tackling you to the ground and ignoring your shrieks and squawks of protest as he wrestles you onto you back, pinning your arms down and glaring down at you.

“Alright. Jigs up. You had your fun messing around with me, but I’m tired of waking up to crap or half dead animals on my doorstep. Time to fess up.” He growls, looking at where he has your wrists pinned, noticing the mangled, bent metal fork in your hand.

Yep. It’s definitely been you.

“Christ.” He grumbles, plucking the fork from your hand, inspecting the twisted metal. “What the hell even is this? Where do you find this crap?? How much effort have you been putting into messing with me?”

“You don’t like it?” You say, your voice cracking.

John looks down at you, taking in the look of hurt in your eyes and the small, light grey and almost oval shaped ears sticking up from the top of your head.

He sighs, resigning himself. Of course you were a raccoon hybrid. He should’ve realized he was being courted… just the gifts and offerings of food didn’t quite line up with what he considered to be typical courting gifts.

He releases your wrists, sitting back on his heels to take his weight off you and taking a deep breath in.

“No… it’s… it’s fine. I love it…. Why don’t you come on inside.”

(Then like a week later after the two of you talk it out and he starts courting you back he just asks why the fish always had to be alive when you left them there and you just told him to prove that they were fresh)

[w2mini]

“Inarizaki with a manager who…” randoms !!

warnings: reader is reserved, fem reader, swearing, platonic or romantic idgaf

IDK bout’ you guys, but every time I think about Inarizaki having a manager, I think about someone who:

Is stereotyped as your typical “quiet” and “reserved” demeanor girlie when in actuality—she just finds herself in a difficult position to open up to the boys. 😓

- I mean, who wouldn’t have a hard time, they’re like top two in the nation and HIGHKEY intimidating to be with, I have respect 4u girl. 🫡 but a job is a job. Kita recruited you since he had to balance his club and academics at one point (also following the coach’s suggestion).

Also should I just mention that you are such a beauty??? Like, maybe if you weren’t so pretty and mysterious then they wouldn’t be bothering you so much just to talk with you!! 😾

- Suna tries to small talk with you sometimes, keyword: tries (his way of trying is giving you the most unnoticeable hints that he wants to talk with you).

- Whenever you begin to feel tired during a long day in practice, Osamu won’t just let it slip past him and hands you some of his mint candy that he has to help you stay awake as he suggests. Yall chill like that🤞

- You and Kita are the ones who are always together, since you guys discuss about the team’s schedule and strategies alongside coach. But that’s just about it.

- Aran and Omimi tends to help you with your duties, especially if it requires lifting heavy weight or a lot of items to carry. We love gentlemen. 🫡

- Riseki is TOO shy to chat with you, but he’s trying his best I swear. 🥲 Your glamorous self just makes him feel like standing beside you feel like a huge offense.

- The closest (🤏) I would consider to be close to you is proably Akagi and Ginjima, they were the ones who approached you with a warm welcome and introduced you to the team as they showed you the ropes of being a manager.

As for Atsumu? I’m gonna need a whole separate section for him hol’ on.

- How do I even start with him.

- Because for the first time, he doesn’t attract your attention, he’s chasing for it.

- You’re supposed to praise him! fangirl over him! shower him with your undying attention! Not just awkwardly standing there and nodding every now and then! 😾

- Can’t you see how hurt his pride is. 😞 (his fault for expecting too much tbh 😹)

- His last straw was during when he was practicing his sets and you were there to watch. So when you approached him, he was expecting the words: “wow you’re amazing Atsumu!”

- Your response?

- “Miya you should probably extend your arms further more so you have better accuracy on the ball.”

- his jaw dropped to the floor.

- YOU? THE MANAGER? giving him TIPS?

- and what’s worst is that you were right and it genuinely improved his sets slightly better, oh he’s never forgetting about this.

But even after all that, you genuinely just could not bring yourself to be close and open up to them, your reason? a lot.

- The volleyball team of Inarizaki is undeniably well known around the campus and to be their manager is either a curse or a blessing.

- actually scrap that. It’s a fucking curse.

- number one. the top on the damn list. their fangirls.

- the amount of them that question you about the team is just too much for your poor social battery to handle. You were their victim number one to harass about the team. (props to Aran for always saving you during times like these 🙂‍↕️)

- which is also why you have a set of rules to yourself whenever you encounter one of the members in the campus: 1) walk quickly past them in the hallways, 2) only talk to them when they initiate it first, and 3) to never bring up anything about them around the campus.

- number two would be the team itself. why? very self explanatory. 😊

- you do not get an ounce of peace and rest around those guys. Especially Atsumu’s endless cycle of jokes and teasing just to get a reaction out of you.

- and that one time Osamu accidentally served a ball towards you. You were on the tribunes just taking notes. WHO SERVES AT THE TRIBUNES.

- but its okay, he bought you a snack as an apology after that on the convenience store run on the way home. His motherfucker of a twin however just laughed at you like a maniac.

- also the amount of strays you have to pick up during practice is EXHAUSTING. Being their manager made your spine feel like 85 years old.

However, you are genuinely such a hardworking girlie🥹 your actions spoke louder than words, it’s just your way of showing you care for them but sometimes you just don’t feel like it’s enough and you don’t think they notice it either because of how reserved you could be.

- Inarizaki’s volleyball team was independent, they didn’t need a manager.

- which is what they think.

- because ever since you arrived, Kita has felt a heavy weight lift off his shoulders (++ coach too). You’ve genuinely helped them in ways that you didn’t deem possible

- you also took notes of the smallest things or even the quiet observations about the team on your notebook (e.g. “Make sure Atsumu doesn’t forget about his water” or “Osamu gets grumpy if he skips meals” etc.)

- Although they may not be vocal about it or have mentioned about it—the team just has so much respect for you. To be able to manage a team like them is impressive. They don’t think anyone would be able to top your managing skills EVER.

So yeah, it kinda just went on like that… not for long. You strictly kept a classmate relationship between them and just went on being their manager—you do your job, but you kept a distance. That is until Inarizaki gets their win against another strong team.

It wasn’t anything serious or sad with what became the turning point in your relationship with the team, I’d say its very Inarizaki like.

- It happened when Inarizaki won against a really strong team, the game was fierce and stressful to watch, but in the end they were able to snatch the gold.

- Undeniably, the boys are all hyped. “We should celebrate! C’mon let’s go out to eat!” Akagi says as he excitedly suggested.

- the others agreed with the idea, especially a certain twin. On the way, they all discussed their orders and plans for later. In the end they all decided to go for ramen.

- You on the other hand kept silent. You decided it was best for you to go home already and let them have their fun, your social battery was draining anyways.

- which COULD’VE been the plan.

- Until Kita turns around to your direction, then offhandedly says: “You’re coming too right?”

- your brain short circuits.

- it doesn’t help with the fact now that the rest is also waiting for your answer.

- is this what they call peer pressure. 😵‍💫

- but it was in this moment that you realize that—they actually want you to be there. Not just as their manager, but as part of the team.

- So you agreed.

- It was a warm moment when you guys were inside the ramen bar, everyone made an effort to include you, making stupid jokes, teasing you slightly, sharing food, etc.

- And, probably for the first time ever, you were laughing with them.

- And, they all just. froze.

- Because they rarely saw you express emotions around them. Heck, not even a laugh!

- They all glanced at each other and nodded, yep, it was like they had antennas saying their common goal: to see you smile more.

In the end, Inarizaki needs a manager who can handle their shit—and love them anyway.

WOOO kinda short but hope u guys enjoyed, I just kinda wanted to share my thoughts BECAUSE every time I write about Inarizaki having a manager, I always imagine someone who’s just keeps to herself yk, but thas js me🤷‍♀️ Thats why I chose Haerin for today’s layout because the personality matches her sm lowk omg

I kinda wanna make this a series tbh, LIKE that one shiratorizawa series in Ao3 I FORGOT THE NAME but you guys know right….. right.

[mxrcurysb1tch]

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ Astrology 🐉observations pt. 5 ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

Song of the day <3 idk why but feeling this vibe today fr fr maybe it’s the Leo full moon making me wanna partyyyy

^ྀི Gemini moons are super intelligent and generally study maths or engineering. They’re also super good at getting stuff done even though they never seem to ever be actually working? It’s like a talent.

^ྀི Ever wonder how someone can think a certain way and yet speak in a totally different way? They likely have their moon and mercury in completely different signs. For example, I’m a Capricorn moon with a Leo Mercury and while I am generally very hard on myself and sometimes pessimistic, it sometimes comes out as me appearing overly confident or self obsessed even though I feel anything but that. Another example is, a Gemini moon I know, he is always overthinking in his mind, feels anxious or flighty but his speech is very calm and levelled, since he is a Capricorn Mercury. This can sometimes lead to frustration especially if Mercury is debilitated or retrograde. People with complimentary or the same moon and mercury sign might have a more congruent way of expressing themselves and because they are sure of their convictions, many people may listen to them and respect them.

^ྀི Mars and Mercury conjunctions make someone very good at insults or even verbal aggression, depending on the sign/house and other placements. Their humour is likely to be playfully making fun of people or even themselves. They may be witty with it too. When it comes to arguments they always know exactly what to say to win.

^ྀི Virgo placements especially rising, sun and mars have a tendency to be very connected to their bodies, and even hyper aware of the processes going on inside them. They’re not usually the types to forget to eat or rest. Not because they know better (but let’s face it they usually do) but simply because they feel their internal sensations so strongly. It can also sometimes develop into psycho-somatic conditions or health anxiety if it is too pronounced.

^ྀི Having multiple detriment placements (especially if you also have no domiciles and if Saturn is also involved) can make the native feel like they have to work super hard at everything they do and like nothing comes naturally to them. They might feel like they aren’t talented or gifted in any way or that they weren’t blessed in life like other people are. This usually isn’t true though, what these natives need is a bit of self belief and self love.

^ྀི Meeting someone with the same moon sign as you is an elite experience. You might just feel connected to them in some way and just intuitively understand each other. Of course it will depend on their other placements too, but usually you guys will feel like the other “just gets it”. This is because you won’t have to explain to them why you feel a certain way or modify your expression in order to relate to them on a deeper level. My childhood best friend has the same moon sign as me and I have always felt like we are platonic soulmates.

^ྀི Whichever house you have Scorpio in can show where/what in your life you are most secretive about. For example, if you have Scorpio in your 2nd house you might be very secretive about your money, home or possessions. You might not want people to know how you earn money/how much you earn or you might not like having people come over to your house. If you have Scorpio in the 7th house you might be secretive about your relationships, you might engage in a lot of clandestine flings or affairs.

^ྀི People with the same sun as their rising feel so warm and genuine, what you see is what you get. They’re usually super confident in their own skin. They can’t help but be transparent and bare their souls to you. The degree to which will depend on the sign, of course. However, People with the same moon as their rising might feel overexposed and vulnerable. They usually have a more quiet presence, or always look like they’re sad or far away. They’re usually lost in thought or emotion though as they can’t help but be forced to examine their inner world in excruciating details.

[time-traveller-archives]

So true, I always wonder why though? Is it a search of human validation or just our self doubt of not being able to understand our pain through our eyes? Maybe we all need someone to look out for us, to feel we are looked out for. To hope that someone is waiting to see us the next morning. Maybe that's what kept our day moving, idk. Maybe life is a blessing when someone's around. Maybe that's all it is. Maybe I wanted more than love, care or affection. I wanted a 'me' to shine out there for me, so that 'that me', could give back the love everyone who loved me deserved, not the love the present 'me' who was broken squeezing herself in corners and was nothing in front of her future me. I used to think it was the future me, who could give it all back. Not me, the me that existed even if she loved, she was broken, there was something wrong with her. So I crafted that me, worked hard to erase the present 'me' so I could be the new 'me' all for the people I loved and cared about the most. The future 'me' was waste of time though for the present 'me'. I would waste so much time thinking how she should walk, how she should move, who she should be, so that everyone around me and mostly myself would feel some pride in 'me' not me.

Seems like now, there's no future 'me', its just goals and ambitions, but now goals and ambitions don't feel passionate anymore, there's no zest of changing yourself every single day, it just feels like there was no point in being a person of service to others, there was a point in being so detached. There's no one left to serve, even if there's someone. Why should I? Should I go help, why though? Is there any reward or sense of happiness I will get with that, maybe, but how many skeletons do you think they have in their closets, is it worth being a helper forever, whose validation is it that Iam suffering so much for. Is there any love in it, in helping others, yes there is, there is love for humanity, not lizards, love for people, not a bunch of thieves who SA humans and burn them out on a regular basis. Not a bunch of disgusting people who instead of learning to live a good and humble life, who could have taught so much, decide to obliterate us through SA,pedophilia and what not? Is this what I am here for, on this Earth, why am i here? Am I not here to serve for the upliftment of souls, creation of new ideas and philosophies for helping the inquisitive minds grow, what is it I am here for? To see a bunch of greedy, selfish, pedos take powerful position and enjoy abusing others. What do I bring to this plate? Cause I have brought a lot, accepted a lot, tried to understand a lot more than I could have ever believed I could have ever done. More than the expectations of shit face people around me and their imposed beliefs on me and my benevolence. Then why? what have I done wrong?

Why should I stay stuck with the most disgusting people, out of all other humans and animals and other species. What am I here to do? Just suffer in their hands. Why? Just why am I here? Who brought me here to do this place? What am I doing here? How am I thriving? Why am I thriving? This is disgusting, I need my shell, my shell where everything is alright, nothing has changed, nobody has gone, where the hell is that dream, that future, those people I envisioned to see in my future. This is the most degrading I have ever been, and Iam trying so hard to match the vibe with my life that now my life is falling apart but not visibly falling apart. Just why? I hate this all this materialistic big room, big space, big bed, big floors, I needed this facility, yes but for why? Why Just why do I do this to myself? Why do I even need all these. I don't even need that extra space in the room, maybe I do. But why do I need this when all i wanna do is shrink, shrink and die. I'm tired I'm tired of being this and being 'her' that her who got it to Bangalore. I still can't believe its me. This opportunity is too big for me, I always knew it, I can't do it, I just can't, its too much. Why are we here? Why should I do this? Why do I this? Why did I start this in the first place? Who is this all for? Who was it all for? Was it me, no no way, it was me, it wasn't me, I didn't want her, I never knew this, could catch these stars, could have ever imagined expected or fallen for these stars. Then why stars, why are they here? They look all shiny and gleamy but its all play. They are rotten from inside. There's no way this college is this good. There's no way I'm in Bangalore. There's no way everything is going right in my life for the first time without any intervention, without somebody's help. How am I living this? How do I do this? Iam not capable of such power. I have never been. Then how do I do this? Where do I go from here? Who is it out there to meet me? Where do I take this from here? How just how, do I imagine, do I make it big. Does it grow? Does it go bigger than this? Am I there yet? Am I in my life yet? Where is it going? How do I row ? Is there it there? Can I do it again? And again? Will I make it there? Wherever it is there? Where is it? Can I go

“People start to heal the moment they feel heard.”

— Cheryl Richardson

[mvctavish]

hesdcanosn for graves and price where the reader is pretty bossy and kind of intimidating? for graves she's sort of the co-commander of shadow co. and for price she's the 141's medic

𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐒 𝐍 𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐄 - 𝐁𝐎𝐒𝐒𝐘!𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐇𝐂𝐒

notes: i love this idea so so much you're a genius anon!! since the relationship wasn't specified... i just made the reader their wife... cuz it felt right to me. if u were hoping for platonic hcs or anything different don't be afraid to send in another ask and i'll do it!! anyways, happy reading <3

summary: (seperate) headcanons of graves and price with a bossy/intimidating wife

cw: wife!reader (for both), deputycommander!reader (for graves), medic!reader (for price), general war stuff idk, probably inaccuracies when it comes to the military/PMCs, reader is kind of bitchy, for price reader is mentioned to be at least smaller than him

cdr. phillip graves

౿ ۪ ݁ he's scared of you, and it's pretty obvious despite his attempts at hiding it. when you get mad, he gets all quiet and mutters a quick and respectful "yes ma'am" no matter what you request or say to him. it's rather funny seeing the commander so scared of his own wife. phillip has seen first-hand just how angry you can get when things don't go your way. the aftermath ain't pretty. while he knows you'd never actually hurt him (besides throw around a few choice words) he prefers to keep the peace at all costs. he hates seeing you upset, whether it's a mission gone sour or down to something little like him leaving the toilet seat up.

you two first met way back in the marines, fresh outta boot camp and ready to conquer the world. even then you were intimidating, a fiery attitude that could challenge the sargeant above you both. you ended up leaving the military when phillip did, and got married not long after. despite the fact that he'd much rather have you not risk your life — you were insistent on being part of shadow company when it was formed, and not behind the scenes.

as his deputy commander, you're right there by his side. the shadows are like family to both you and graves — they're your boys — but you aren't afraid to whip them into shape if necessary. some new recruits are being too rambunctious for your liking? you're giving a sharp, glaring look to your husband and he's quick to get them in line. it doesn't take long at all for them to learn to respect (and fear) you, perhaps even more than graves. you're a force to be reckoned with.

down to the more domestic aspects of your life, you're always on his ass about the upkeep of the house. when you're both home, the work is split 50/50 (which was a huge shock to graves at first since he's always been a bit more traditional) but he knows it's only fair since you both work. you like your house in pristine condition, down to the floorboards being dusted, to the lampshades being in just the right position. you're bossy about little things, like always pairing up the socks when they're taken out of the dryer or him rinsing his beard trimmings down the sink whenever he's done shaving. he knows you tend to get a little pissy when things aren't done exactly how you like them, so that's why graves makes sure he — and the shadows — always listen to your input.

capt. john price

౿ ۪ ݁ price is more impressed than anything. there's so much fire and spirit crammed into one small thing: you. it's funny to him, how most people you interact with can be so intimidated by you. you have the bossy attitude as an angry mother bear, yet can still be sweet when it's needed. price first met you when he was still a lieutenant, suffering from a bad injury on the field. you were the only combat medic on duty. he'd tried to convince you that he was fine — there were other men that needed your help, too, and that he could keep going — but you'd grabbed him by the ear and chewed him out. calling him a "damn fool with a death wish," and that if he wanted to live he'd "better listen to you and sit his ass down." he'd immediately gone quiet and did as he was told. price wasn't used to being spoken to like that, much less from someone of a lower rank. that was the moment he knew he had to have you, and the rest was history.

it took a while to gain your attention around base, and you were the reason he grew out his beard in the first place, after a passing comment that you'd made about how you thought it'd make him more rugged. it took time, but you were worth every second.

relationships in your line of work can be messy, and perhaps one of the worst aspects could be the judgment from others. in one interaction with a new face on base, you'd gotten into quite a heated argument. the guy thought you'd be easy picking, a way to make fun of you and show off in front of his new pals. your sharp tongue and quick insults resulted in the man leaving close to tears, whilst price watched round the corner with a little smirk on his face. deep down, he'd always worry about you. you were his wife, his woman, his world. it was only natural — but instances like that reminded him that you could stand up for yourself. you were strong and independent, and never let anyone walk all over you. you'd been a people pleaser in the past, but never again. you lived for yourself.

once task force 141 was formed, it's obvious that your husband recruited you to join as well. it was difficult, and he had to abuse a few loopholes in the policies to even be allowed to be your CO, but in the end, it worked. rounding back to the mama bear point, ghost, gaz, and soap quickly warm up to you. you're honestly the closest thing any of them have to a mum. a scary, bossy, picky one, but still a mum. your team's safety is your number one priority, and you certainly aren't afraid of getting your hands dirty both figuratively and literally. you keep the boys and price in line, constantly nagging about drinking water and insisting that they need to eat more than just a damn protein barn before a mission. MREs suck, but it's better than going hungry.

price lets you boss him round whenever you two are home from deployment. of course, on the battlefield, he's in charge. but home? it's a different story. the lawn needs to be mowed? you bet it'll be done by the evening. low on groceries? he's starting a list and planning to drive down to the shops. you and price never really get into any real arguments. he's seen you on the battlefield, frightening as you shout orders to anyone around as you're patching up an injured soldier — that sort of intensity is one he does everything to avoid seeing in you.

[whatifitis]

♡ Pack It Up - CL 16 ♡

Summary: You're so irrevocably in love with Charles Leclerc and enjoying life when all of a sudden, you hear this agitating noise (your ex who is an actor and probably mentally deranged or SOMETHING).

Author's Note: Hi my lovlies! This is my first attempt at an SMAU so PLEASE BE NICE 😭 this is based off this request! also this can be seen as a pt. 2 to good luck charlie, but can also be read as a stand alone 😋 also the part 2 link is here and at the bottom cause fuck ass tumblr can suck my dick

CW: SMAU, uhhhh, fluff? angst? girl idk 😭use of the word hoe/whore in portuguese

y/n_l/n

Liked by charlesleclerc, yourbestie, 745,372 others

y/n_l/n in your eyes, i get lost, i get washed away

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charlesleclerc mon amoureuse, the most beautiful person in the world and the one i get to belong to ❤️

User67 ohhh our girl is so in love 🤭

User32 does this mean the next album will solely be a love album? 👀

jade_distinguinn ✨🌘

alex_albon i just know the next album is gonna eat!

↳ lilymhe who tf taught you that?!

↳ alex_albon you?!

↳ lilymhe mhm 🤨 im watching you, Alexander Albon Ansusinha

↳ User22 yall… its been 3 hrs since albon was last seen, do you think lily got him? 

↳ lilymhe 🤫

↳ User22 😨

-=+=-

charles_leclerc 

Liked by y/n_l/n, francisca.cgomes, and 1,549,948

charles_leclerc i wanna teach you how forever feels, ma déesse

View all comments 

y/n_l/n je t’aime tellement, mon amour. I can’t believe that this incredible man is all mine 🥰

User89 wait he’s using her song lyrics about him 😭😭😭😭

User56 yall ever think about how on y/n’s posts, the first pic is of charles but charles never puts her in the first pic?

↳ User44 it’s not that serious dude

↳ User79 hmmm i never thought of that, it is a bit weird, like he doesn’t want people to see her that much?

↳ User10 yall are crazy, this post has 4 pictures and 3 of them have y/n in it

↳ User05 tom never hid her tho 🙃 just saying

User23 ugh they’re literally couple GOALS 😍

-=+=-

tomblyth

Liked by rachelzegler, kit.connor, and 379,941 others

tomblythe some photos from christmas break, ready to come back to work happy and healthy 👍

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User51 ugh, could he be any hotter 😫

User33 ehm, who dat?

User00 cringing at the 2nd pic

↳ User99 okay and? U didn’t have to voice it

↳ User12 but yet i did 

User0 is that rachel?

↳ User9 NO IT’S Y/N

↳ User34 yall need to let that go, they broke up so long ago

↳ User9 no im being so fr, y/n posted that exact picture when they were together

↳ User56 omg?! You might be right, i recognize that pic

↳ User12 YALL ITS LEGIT  HER, ITS MY PFP AND I GRABBED IT WHEN IT WAS FIRST POSTED WHEN THEY WERE TOGETHER OMFG

↳ User66 wait, so what does this mean? I thought y/n was dating that one french guy

↳ User45 that guy is not french, hes monegasque ☝️ and yes they are dating

↳ User3 maybe they broke up? 

↳ User72 no way, they just posted pics of each other, my money is tom is playing dirty to get her back

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y/n_l/n posted a story

-=+=-

-=+=- 

y/n_l/n posted a story

-=+=-

-=+=-

tomblyth posted a story

Replies: 

User99 oh sir…

User34 it was clearly an accident, you don’t have to apologize

User76 so are u guys not getting back together? 😔

User89 but why did u have it? It’s been years

-=+=-

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tomblyth posted a story

Replies: 

User32 OMG ARE YOU AND Y/N BACK TOGETHER?! PLS STOP WITH THE GAMES AND TELL US

User45 bruh this is so fucking weird, using your ex’s song to soft launch your new girl?

User96 ooooh this tea is piping HOT

User62 Oh hell no 😭

User05 so you’re not single anymore? 🥺

francisca.cgomes VAI P’A PUTA QUE TU PARIU

-=+=-

f1gossippofficial

169,452 Likes

F1gossippofficial seems like y/n l/n’s ex, Tom Blythe, wants her back? Tom has not only posted an old picture of y/n but has also used her song, which she wrote about him, to soft launch a new girl… or should i say someone he’s knows ‘all too well’

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User96 I can’t be the only one who thinks this is crazy, right? 

↳ User55 Def not, idk what’s going on but holy fuck they either need to stay together or get over eachother

↳ User87 i think y/n has been over Tom for quite some time now. She seems happy with charles

↳ User34 but is she really? Tom was the one to end things so she might’ve “moved on” but is wasting time with charles

↳ User66 no way, those two are so in love and you can see it in the way they look at eachother and talk about eachother. I mean just listen the song she just put out ‘ease my mind’

↳ User29 if you’re gonna bring that up, then let's also bring up ‘we can’t be friends’ i mean it’s all about how she’s waiting for Tom “wait until you love me again”

User10 Tom needs to leave Y/n ALONE

↳ User98 AGREED

Use09 she’s probably just another bitch using charles for fame and money, she should just leave him already cause he deserves so much better

↳ User77 not to mention she’s not as pretty as his exes 🤭

-=+=-

-=+=-

tomblyth

Liked by rachelzegler, bensonboone, 90,342 others

tomblythe the smell of you hair reminds me of her feet

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User40 wtf is that caption

↳ User55 OH GIRL LEMME TELL YOU. so this song is called ‘be my mistake’ and it’s essentially this guy telling the girl he’s fucking with that she will never be the girl he loves. Like “you’re great but shes amazing and beautiful” type of stuff

↳ User40 nah that’s sickening 😭

User76 i lowkey feel bad for his new girl, he’s obvs using her to get y/n back

↳ User56 yall not everything is about y/n

↳ User78 but it clearly is?! All the evidence points to it being about y/n and getting her back

User66 omg couples goals 😍

User90 that girl is so lucky to have tom like UGH i wish

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-=+=-

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f1gossippofficial

130,593 Likes

F1gossippofficial Breaking: Charles Leclerc was recently spotted attending a brand event… without y/n? Rumor has it the two have separated 😱

Thoughts? 👀

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User49 OMG DID HE FINALLY DUMP THAT GOLD DIGGING BITCH 🤩

User12 nooo, mi parents 🙁

User56 honestly about time

↳ User44 wdym about time?

↳ User56 i feel like it’s been obvious that they’ve been unhappy together for a while. Tom is also a better match for y/n

↳ User44 uhm, they literally posted pics of eachother not long ago in a loving photo dump? Also tom was a manipulative person towards y/n and he drained the fuck out of her and made her miserable

↳ User56 instagram posts dont mean shit in the real world. And all this stuff against tom is alleged 

User32 now’s my chance 😍

User66 orrrr maybe they dont have to be together 24/7?

↳ User94 they always go to events together tho…

↳ User21 well y/n also has a job so maybe she was busy

↳ User50 idk man, doesn't look good for charles atm

-=+=-

y/n_l/n

Liked by francisca.cgomes, oliviarodrigo, and 784,483 others

y/n_l/n working on things 👍

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User77 NOW LOOK WHAT YALL DID! YOU TOOK HER SPARKLE

oliviarodrigo omg so excited bestie 🤭

User93 omg new music? 👀

↳ User33 breakup music? ☹️

↳ User10 do NOT put that into the universe ☝️

User65 yall i dont wanna be a bummer but… charles isnt in the likes…

↳ User80 why is this a big deal?! Maybe he’s busy 

↳ User34 charles is ALWAYS the first to like her posts, he’s never missed a post or been late

↳ User78 omg did they actually breakup?! 

User89 FUCK YOU TOM BLYTH! YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID

francisca.cgomes my beautiful girl, love you so much ❤️

↳ y/n_l/n love you too 🩷

↳ User42 YALL SHE ISN’T USING THE RED HEART, ITS OVER 😭😫

Part 2

[erinwantstowrite]

A while ago you liked a comment of mine on TikTok where I said that there should be no second Batman bc having Bruce retire/die means his fight should be over and he should be able to rest properly, (idk if that’s exactly what I said but I think it’s in the ball park) so can I ask what you think about a legacy Batman? And who would you have be the second Batman? Also your art is amazing and I love leap of faith, hope you have a great day

i remember that comment!!!!

i honestly believe that having a "legacy" for every single hero is just,,, boring. the reason this happens is because they are never going to NOT have Batman. how else would they make money??? so they just keep giving us reasons why his mantle has to be there. just like the Joker HAS to always come back, why new characters are always tied in to existing characters somehow, etc.

in a perfect world, we'd get new characters sometimes and overarching storylines that aren't regressed the second we make any headway on character development. we'd have new villains by now that make a name for themselves outside of the original villains, we'd see an impact on our settings and characters, all that jazz. and in this perfect world, we wouldn't have so many legacy mantles

and i mean, like, one of the supers taking up the Superman name? that's cool. they're a family, thematically it works. even with the Flash family, I accept how they do it (though I hardly keep up with their comics)

but Batman?????

STOPPPPP

Every other Batfam member has an arc where they branch away from Bruce and the name, save for Tim and Cass, I think. Tim is... a gray area. I only put him here because he's back to being Robin (because DC can't let go of that money maker!). It's an insult to their characters to put them into the Batman mantle, but in universe, this keeps happening because "Gotham needs Batman."

No! No they do not! They do not need Batman specifically. They need his ideals! His kids do not need to be Batman to have Batman still be around after he's put up the cape or died, because they are that future without the cape! There is no magic tied in to that stupid cowl, they just see it that way because Batman is this larger than life figure. Of course they think their dad is impervious to the world, that the cape that protected them is special, that they need Batman. But that is NOT the case.

Just like with any family, life will move on. The legacy continues through the lessons that the kids learned. In many ways, they are better than Batman because they learned from his mistakes, too. Just like every kid does with their parent.

But they don't want to be Batman. And it's kind of insane to keep putting them in someone else's suit, basically someone else's identity. Dick is a great Batman, but his biggest fear is losing himself in Bruce's shadow. What happened to Jason was because of Batman's failure, and it isn't healthy to put him in the Batman suit. Tim should be allowed to move on from Robin and finally get his own mantle because he has always used someone else's. (Yes I am purposefully forgetting that Drake existed do not remind me.) That and the existence of Gun Batman. Do NOT put him in that suit!!!!!!! Damian is branching out of vigilante life altogether, which is so so so good for him. Him becoming Batman after struggling so much with his identity, purpose, and blood ties, is a spit in the face to character development. I think Duke should get to choose his own name for a hero mantle (because Bruce thought of Signal), and thematically I don't think he fits into the Batman role. He is a shining light the way Robin was, but this time more literal because of his powers. Batman is very human, that's what makes his character. Duke deserves more than being Batman.

The best person for that job is Cass.

Not only does she understand the No Kill Rule in the way that Bruce understands it, she is also his equal or superior in every way. Whether it's her physical abilities, or her intelligence, or her morals, Cass fits the bill. She's one of the strongest members of the Batfam and I think she would be able to take on the burden without crumbling under the pressure or feeling scared of that responsibility. She's fit in to the Batman role before, has mirrored him in many ways, and is also her own character (and man I just really love Cass). She strikes the same amount of fear into people that Batman does, a master of the shadows, the dark, and she has a hope that I think Gotham could need.

But she doesn't need to be Batman to do it. She just has to fill in that role. Sure, she could pick up the name Batman, it won't kill me. But so long as she fills in the space that Bruce left behind, becoming the next leader and mentor, she could be anyone.

I think it's more powerful that way to show that the time has passed. That Bruce's time as a vigilante made an impact. Gotham has changed. His kids have grown up. And the Dark Knight is still there, at home.

[kurthummeldeservesbetter]

more jayvik headcanons

in honor of those two dudes who did a cosplay and kissed? idk I'm not on the clock app anymore (lmao can you tell this has been in the drafts forever)

Ximena was the first to "officially" know when Jayvik started going out. (The reality is that she knew a month prior, but let them think they were being secretive). Jayce brought Viktor for their family dinner, was like "hey, it's official, he's my boyfriend" and she had to be like : ) wow I thought this would happen much later <3

Also she immediately took to Viktor the moment she met him. Essentially adopted him and started sharing embarrassing stories about Jayce. It only intensified when she found out he had no living relatives. If Jayce doesn't bring Viktor to family dinner nights there better be a good reason why.

Viktor loves wearing Jayce's shirts. There about three sizes too big, but with his brace, he enjoyed not wearing something constricting.

Jayce also loves it when Viktor wears his shirts.

They are hooked on mystery radio shows. They play every Thursday night and Jayvik has a routine-they leave the lab early, make dinner, and sit by the radio silently and listen. They have notes on the current murder mystery and debate over favorite characters.

Despite living in Piltover for a long time, Viktor gets lost. All the time. Their layout is so different than Zaun (which I imagine similar to a NYC layout where there are boroughs, blocks, and sections easy to remember. Piltover is the worst, where road 17 is actually next to road 10 and road 10 is actually three lanes away from road 9. He hasn't figured it out and never will.

They tried learning to play poker. They can do the actual card portion, but they cannot control their expressions. Sky, Cait, and Vi always win at game night.

Viktor hates english muffins. Especially when provided as a breakfast sandwich option. Jayce doesn't understand it, but he provides Vik with breakfast burritos instead. Yum.

Sky helped Jayce get revenge of Ximena sharing baby photos by sharing pictures of her and Viktor and other Zaunite kids growing up, when their area got a camera with a lot of film.

Viktor had a emo-like phase and Jayce refuses to let him live it down.

[alacants]

in the space of 12 months jannik sinner happened. but i can't get into that or this post will REALLY get out of control. <- wait im new to tennisblr/this gen of tennis players (tho not to tennis, dormant fan ig) and i'd love to hear your take if u feel like elaborating!

oh hey welcome back to tennis!! idk how much exploration you've done so bear with me if i'm just telling you stuff you know. (and jannikblr sorry in advance for the abbreviated summary, i can't do 1200 words every time.) (edit: you'll never guess what happened next.)

the very brief recap is that jannik's tennis trajectory started out relatively normally compared to where he is now—he grabbed everyone's attention winning the 2019 nextgen finals, got a lot of hype, but then had ups and downs for the next few years. won some titles but got a reputation for flopping in big tournaments, for example the wimbledon 2022 qf where he was up two sets to love over novak and still lost. meanwhile carlos alcaraz, who apparently burst onto the scene fully formed, won the us open at 19 and wimbledon at 20. (and all the while was talking up jannik as his major rival. ok.) so the early narrative was that sinner was yet another victim of expectations who was failing to live up to the hype.

then in early 2023 he split with his long-time coach. took a while to adjust to his new team (his current coaches, cahill & vagnozzi) but by the end of 2023 he started to get results. and kept getting them, and kept getting them, until he won his first slam (ao 24), his second slam (uso 24), and went 73-6 for the entirety of 2024. he is now arguably the best player on tour, and inarguably the best player on hard court. and everyone compares him to novak.

(this is not necessarily a compliment.)

actual novak has lost three matches to jannik on the bounce, all on hard court. once again: end of 2023 was the turning point. jannik lost to novak 6-3 6-3 in the tour finals final—then literally the next week they met in the davis cup sf. jannik saved three third set match points, took the match (on the way to italy's first davis cup in 47 years), and has not lost to novak since. that includes the 2024 australian open, where jannik beat novak in four sets and handed him his first ao semifinal defeat ever. ever. 

this run of matches culminated with the shanghai 2024 final, where jannik beat novak in straight sets without breaking a sweat while roger and carlos watched from the box. like. ok we get it! thanks for the symbolism!

(as a side note, that match had me convinced novak was on the verge of retirement because he just did not seem to care, like, at all. sure, another final. whatever. well he certainly figured out how to solve that problem!)

so all of this—the 12 month meteoric rise—is going on in the background while carlos and novak are facing off at wimbledon, at the olympics, and finally at ao again. the very same australian open where jannik says he thinks djokovic/alcaraz is the best rivalry in tennis right now.

so the question is, why IS djokovic/alcaraz a rivalry in a way that djokovic/sinner is not, and why has novak embraced carlos with so much more enthusiasm than jannik. is it because right now the rivalry is so one-sided. (yikes but true.) is it because the comparisons rub novak the wrong way and he does not think he plays tennis like that actually. is it because he just likes other people persons more. (the historical record does not seem to bear this out.) is it because it's intensely frustrating to see someone who plays like you, who like you didn't come up through the ranks with a silver tennis spoon in his mouth,  get the validation you didn't at that age and then not respond to it. like if roger : carlos :: novak : jannik then this is incredible reverse fedole, where the charismatic genius is like LET'S BE FRIENDS and the self-made machine responds with, tennis isn't about friends.

(aka MEANWHILE, THE SINCARAZ OF IT ALL, which i TRULY cannot even begin to recap. i assume you've picked this up elsewhere. if not. god. idek where to begin man.)

i don't have an answer for this lol. jannik is going to stay harder to beat for novak, at age 37, than carlos because more of novak's game is going to hinge on finding exploitable weaknesses and jannik has so few. especially psychologically. novak and jannik both have terrifying levels of mental control; that makes jannik pretty immune to a lot of the strategies novak (or anyone else) might use to try and get inside an opponent's head. ...at least on hard court. novak and jannik haven't played each other on clay since roland garros 2023 sf or on grass since wimbledon 2022 qf, so. i think that might be fun. :)

addendum #1: there is more than one hallway in the big 4 house of mirrors. as if i would get through this whole post without bringing up novandy, please! there is something in carlos' eagerness to put himself and jannik on a special level together, and jannik's hesitance to accept, versus how novak did start out with a peer who was supposed to be his rival-partner in overthrowing the established order at the top, and who now tries to remove himself from that discussion entirely. carlos singling out jannik as his special rival and novak talking up the big four while jannik is like, i love djokoraz! and andy captions photos "the big 3 + some clown."

addendum #2: WAIT late-breaking addition to this post, user @virtual-particle just described novak getting close to carlos as potentially a low-key power play on not just carlos himself but also jannik, a "steal your boyfriend special rival's attention" vibe. and i would like 6000 words of fanfiction about this on my desk by monday ok thanks!

[rookamell]

There are people who are going to disagree with me on this for thematic Rook/Solas reasons and that's ok, but I've been stewing on this for a few weeks now and I truly believe the Regret Prison was the biggest missed oppertunity to have a Fort Drakon Part 2: Electric Boogaloo.

So Rook falls in behind the statue of Varric, and the screen fades to black, and it switches to the companions in the Lighthouse library. I can't decide but I'm leaning toward the scene indicating that a substantial amount of time has passed (three weeks in game? That's a good time?) and the companions are arguing, because of course they are, because Rook isn't there to 'lead'.

Idk how, but somehow Emmrich locates Rook in the Fade, but there's some sort of barrier, obviously, because Rook can't find their way out of their own in this scenario: so We (the team) have to go in an find them.

BUT! Oh no! Emmrich can only hold the Fade open (or however you say it) long enough for two people to get through. So your love interest obviously immediately jumps at the chance, and then whichever companion you have the highest bond/ most approval with goes with them. (Could be a good way to incorporate the bond/approval thing they have going on in the game, because I don't think they utilised it enough AT ALL) if you didn't romance anyone, it's just the two with the highest approval.

So you play as these two, and you have to work together to face Rook's Regrets. (You could even have a callback here to the Gauntlet in Origins when you have to get Andraste's Ashes when you fight whichever companions you brought, but instead maybe its whichever companions you fucked over so Neve/Bellara, Lace/Davrin, Neve/Lucanis <- sucks a little that Neve is there twice but this is a work in progress, ok?) and obviously you face a bunch of other stuff (maybe have to answer some questions about what Rook did for the team like in Inner Demons? Idk) and the 'final boss' is Varric, who is already standing with Rook.

The kicker here is that the 'boss fight' is not a fight, your success or lack thereof depends on 1.) how much your companions approve of you and 2.) if they are all heroes of the Veilguard (aka if you actually did as Varric asked and 'looked after the team for [him], kid')

And then Rook and whoever is there share a moment before they all move on and get back to the others yadda yadda.

I get why they didn't do this because 1.) I think it would take A Lot to implement in the game actually and idk if they had the time/budget for that, and 2.) there is a theme there with Solas being stuck in his regret and Rook being able to make their way out.

But as for 2.) I think you could still say there's a Rook/Solas thing there because Solas pushed everyone away while Rook embraced their team/friends and so they got out because they had people willing to help them get out. Like I said, I know people aren't going to agree with that but it's just my take.

It would have been a cool way to show how much the companions do care about Rook and also gain some insight into Rook that's not their perspective. Also it would actually add to the whole 'found family' thing the game tries to tell you is what's happening in a very tell not show way. This could be the 'show'.

Just some thoughts anyway

[simply-mei]

timebomb

am i the only one who doesn't like timebomb? i mean theres nothing wrong with liking the ship i obviously wouldn't judge others for having a different opinion than me, but lots of things about the ship just doesn’t sit right with me personally.

like for example ekko was in the au for only two days (he showed up two days before his au self was supposed to show off his project and left the night before which means he was only there for two days) yet in those two days he managed to fall in love with someone who tried to kill him and has killed many of his friends multiple times? i get that he had an obvious cute little crush on her when they were kids (if you pay attention it was pretty obvious and also kinda cute) but that wasn't long lived because she literally switched sides after that and for the next 8 years they weren't in contact (not much contact other than her trying to kill him or/and his friends anyways) like idk about anyone else but i personally wouldn’t fall in love with the person who killed many of my loved ones let alone falling in love with that person within two days that’s just impossible. i understand that he probably still had some lingering feelings for his universe's jinx and that’s why it was so easy for him to fall in love with au powder in just two days but in my opinion it's still too rushed and unrealistic. i couldn’t even begin to imagine myself falling in love with someone who simply talked bad about me behind my back let alone someone who’s killed my loved ones and has tried to kill me too.

i like the IDEA of them like two former childhood friends turned into enemies who are lovers in a different universe and only one of them obtains the knowledge of the fact that they’re lovers in a different life, and so the only one who knows is left yearning for that kind of connection in their current universe as well??? Like that’s such a good trope. normally i’d eat it up, but the way it was portrayed messed it up for me personally, so now i’m left only liking the idea of the ship but not actually fully liking the ship itself, and i don’t think i ever will tbh.

now this is just my personal opinion i didn’t make this post as an opening for people to argue with me or try to change my mind in the comments nor did i make this post to bash anyone who likes the ship since its an overall nice trope and they’re conanly together so i dont see why i’d bash anyone who likes this ship i simply made this post to see if anyone else agrees and to just share my opinion and simply yap on MY blog cause i can do that since its MYYYY blog (say this for the sensitive people who will try to attack me)

[willowisdead345]

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧my safe foods✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Big post of my safe foods!! With calories, so basically a big post of low cal and low fat foods that are basically all I eat... and I feel full, satisfied and have lost over 17 kg so eating them is working I guess??

under cut because this is looooong

Dairy products

Almond milk (instead of cream in cooking): 2 dl of "no sugar" almond milk is 26 kcal and tastes creamy in food, without the fat and kcals from that

fat free greek yogurt: the one I buy has 13 grams of protain and 65 kcal for 100 g, and my regular portion (1/3 package) is only 109 kcal

fat free quark: 10 grams of protein and 59 kcal for 100 g

skyr: (type of like yogurt I assume), naturally fat free and there are lots of flavored options. The one I eat (my favourite) is 16 g of protein and 94 kcal for the whole thing

sugar and fat free drinkable yogurt (with beneficial bacteria), really good for a snack or sweet craving but not very filling, mainly for just the taste (my safe one has strawberry flavour), it's 27 kcal for 100 g (which happens to also be the size of the bottle)

fat free cottage cheese: 63 kcal for 100 g (although it's also lactose free which lowers the calories), great for protein and can be blended into stuff if you can't deal with the texture (source: I can't)

proteins

egg white: 1 large egg white is 18 kcal, and contains no fat but does contain protein! seasoned with salt and pepper and fried without oil is my favourite way to have it. Note that the yolk does contain fat and has a lot more calories, so removing it is what I do

Tuna: canned tuna in water!! Forgot to add this and remembered only now, but I also consider tuna a "safe" protein to have, I use it in salads or sauces.

quorn: quorn is a mushroom and egg white based protein, without much of a taste and a texture like that of chicken. Huge recommendation for this if it's sold in your country. 89 kcal for 100 g and very low in fat!

turkey slices: idk why but this is the only meat i'm not scared of, and it's a specific brand of turkey deli meat. 1% fat (probably why I'm not scared of it) and a 15 g slice is 13 kcal and it's meat, so a lot of protein. Goes well with lentil flatbread sandwiches!

lentils: have protein and work very well in soups and lentil flatbread/pancakes!! 100 g of dried red lentils has 118 kcal

dairy products: already covered but a lot of them have protein

"sides"

shirataki noodles: whole bag is 20 kcal, and contains 4 reasonable portions!! If you can deal with the texture, I definitely recommend!

Cauliflower: amazing vegetable, works as a base for soups, nuggets, a side for any meal, replacement for rice, literally anything... 25 kcal for 100 g, very, very good for volume eating!

green beans: really good in place of potato with meals, 31 kcal for 100 g and goes well boiled or air fried (or just stuck in the oven)

cucumber: with or without seasoning, goes really well as an easy side dish! One entire cucumber is 28 kcal!! try being hungry after eating an entire cucumber...

salad: great as a meal with a source of protein or as a side, calories vary for ingredients (ingredient I love include tomato, bell pepper, cucumber, lettuce, arugula and salt and pepper for seasoning)

homemade meals:

lentil flatbread/pancakes: made with 3 ingredients (egg white, lentils and water), have 50 kcal for 3 pieces (which is a reasonable portion). work both as a replacement for bread when had with savory toppings and pancakes when had with sweet toppings, basically very versatile! Made with a frying pan and no oil, they don't need oil

SOUPS!! Lentil soup (delicious) or my favourite, vegetable-cottage cheese-blended soup!! ingredients determine the calories, but usually they vary between 80-120 kcal per portion and I love soup as a nice (and filling!) dinner :)

sauces: (with shirataki noodles, cauliflower or green beans to skip the calories from potato or pasta), my favourites are tomato based, but cream based made with almond milk is also something I enjoy. calculate the calories for whatever you make

salads: with a protein a salad can be a filling meal! lettuce, cucumber, bell pepper and tomato are all pretty low calorie, meaning the portions of them can be massive and still under 100 kcal combined!! my favourite protein for salads is tuna (canned IN WATER), and of course seasoned with salt and black pepper (my favourite seasonings tbh)

vegetables

CAULIFLOWER!! best vegetable in my opinion. Makes a perfect replacement for potato as mash, rice, makes a good base for soups, is delicious oven fried with grill seasoning... just love cauliflower so much and get through about a head a week lol. 25 kcal for 100 g

broccoli: pretty nice in soups and as a side, 34 kcal for 100 g but pretty nice and low kcal for the volume

CARROTS!! 35 kcal for 100 grams, so a 200 gram bag is 70 kcal and will fill you up. I love carrots and have 200 g for lunch almost every day, and get through a LOT of carrots during other meals too! I love the taste and texture, and they are so low kcal for the volume. Huge recommendation, carrots are amazing, and zero fat!

leafy greens: my faves are arugula, spinach and lettuce. arugula and lettuce are the best in salads, and spinach is nice cooked. Depending on which one you have the kcal differ abvs

mushrooms: (i know, I know it's not a vegetable but still), 22 kcal for 100 grams! if you are like me and picky with textures, blended mushrooms taste pretty nice and it goes well in soups!

CUCUMBER: 28 kcal for an entire cucumber! i feel stuffed after half a cucumber, which is just 14 kcal... cucumber and grill seasoning is the best snack, I beg for you to try it. I get through like 4 cucumbers in a week lmao, love them and they are the best snack and volume food imho

bell pepper: goes well in salads or as a snack raw, 24 kcal for an entire bell pepper! and the texture is so satisfying if you're craving something crunchy

green beans: 31 kcal for 100 g, and it was already mentioned before as a good side, but it also works as "fries" when oven roasted and with grill seasoning

fruits and berries

tangerines: 40 kcal for a small tangerine! really easy as a snack and tastes really nice

kiwi: 42 kcal for one medium kiwi! and eaten with a spoon, you don't even need to peel it (just like scrape the kiwi out), kiwis are also sooo good when they are ripe

tomato: one medium tomato is 22 kcal, and is so good in salads. Also grilled, just grill the tomato until it's soft and it's so good

banana: one medium banana is 105 kcal, and the only way i have bananas is cooked. Just put it in a frying pan and heat on medium heat until it's cooked (no oil needed), it becomes so much sweeter and it's delicious.

strawberry: 32 kcal for 100 g, strawberries are great and taste so good. I love frozen strawberries especially, they are cheaper here and they last longer

raspberry: 53 kcal for 100 g, raspberries are better in taste than strawberries in my opinion, even though they are higher in calories. Go great with yogurt though!

cloudberries: they grow in swamps over here, i get mine from my grandparents lol. if offered, definitely do try them, they are good! 51 kcal for 100 g, and they are really good

desserts:

sugarfree "raspberry soup" (mehukeitto), basically just raspberry juice with a thickening agent, so can be eaten with a spoon. 8 kcal for 100 g, and I like having it as a dessert sometimes

sugarfree vanilla syrup: basically 0 kcal, goes great with yogurt or berries or lentil pancakes...

sugarfree cola: almost 0 kcal, and the best thing ever if you're craving something sweet!

rooibos: basically tea, except it's a different plant, and naturally caffeine free. It's also sweeter, and won't make you stay up at night so great before bed

coffee: not sweet unless you add sugarfree sweetener, but black coffee is pretty low in kcal (2 per cup), i love black coffee and have it each morning

artificial sweetener: nice in tea and a life saver if you need to bake something! The one I use is stevia based, but anything works

sugarfree juice: 1 kcal per 100 ml, and just another amazing thing to have in case of sweet cravings

others?

oatmeal, 40 g of dry oats is 145 kcal. best tip for oatmeal is to season it with salt, it is soo much better with a bit of salt! pretty high kcal though

rye bran, 16 kcal for a tablespoon and like 39 % fiber! goes well in yog if you are trying to make sure you get enough fiber

(baby) corn puffs: a portion is 30 grams and is a bit over 100 kcal! amazing texture, literally cheese puffs without cheese.

sugarfree gum: very low in kcal, and a great help to stop mindlessly eating and start mindlessly chewing instead, basically treat like snacks when watching a movie or the like

sugarfree cough drops: nice, especially if you are like me and are paranoid your breath smells. the ones I have are like 2 kcal for one, and sucking on them they last pretty long

sugarfree energy drinks: my favourite (and the one I always buy) is 15 kcal, but for example white monster tastes like lemonade and is 11 kcal for a can. caffeine also helps curb appetite!

grill seasoning: if you've read this far, you'll know that this is the best thing in combination with cucumber or cauliflower! Has stuff like paprika powder, salt and other spices that are soo good. of course also good for meat if that's what you want to eat. low kcal food does NOT need to be bland! i personally don't count seasoning with my calories (COUNT OIL THOUGH!!)

the end, thanks:) if you have others you want to add, comment or reblog or something, I want to know about all the cool foods out there!!

[tsukumomei]

OKOKOK in my mind in the “puppy love” fic, reader is moving to spain

and then three years later sae comes to spain cause he gets scouted by re al you know the story

and so they meet again ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹 (they have cute “dates” if you will, where she shows him around spain and what not 🤭)

now idk if you’re taking requests at the moment, or even want to write a part two for this, but i (and many others i feel like) would LOVE to see this!

no force though, if you do wish to write it take your time, and if you don’t it’s all fine too!

much love, xoxo 💋

a/n: This is actually insane because this is EXACTLY what I had in mind for a bonus part! I was originally going to end it when they saw each other again, but I took your request and wrote about their dates too. Enjoy! Mwah! I wouldn’t consider this a part 2, though—if I ever write one, it’ll still be from Rin’s POV. But I’m open to writing more bonus parts for this fic, so feel free to send me an ask! ^^

—RIGHT WHERE WE LEFT OFF

ft. Sae Itoshi

a bonus chapter for Puppy Love

synposis: Sae moves to Madrid after getting scouted by Real, but he has two problems. One—he hates it. The city feels unfamiliar, foreign, nothing like home. Two—he’s determined to forget about you. But the harder he tries, the more his own mind betrays him—because no matter what he does, everything leads him right back to you. wc: 3.1 k

The shuffling in Sae’s carry-on grows more frantic as he impatiently searches for that notebook from you.

It was the first thing he stuffed into his bag.

Flipping through the worn pages, his eyes finally land on the last one—covered in messy scribbles, but the only thing that stands out is a single line written in red ink at the bottom:

"Wait for me. ❤️ Y/N"

Sae presses his thumb against the words, as if touching them could somehow bring back the past. Could somehow make you feel real again.

He leans back into his seat, staring out at the endless stretch of sky beyond the plane window, but it’s not Madrid he’s thinking about. It’s you.

This morning, back at the house, he’d been kicking a soccer ball around the backyard, the steady thud of leather against concrete filling the quiet air. Rin was there too, watching him with a knowing look before finally speaking up.

"Nii-chan, it was just puppy love."

Maybe it was. Maybe Rin was right.

But if it was just puppy love, why is it still lingering?

Why did he still worry—that if you ever came back, that you’d be mad at him for not being there?

It’s been three years.

The chances of seeing you again were close to impossible.

—

Sae steps into his new apartment in Madrid, rolling his suitcase inside as his manager gestures around the space.

“This is your living room,” his manager begins, flipping on the lights. The apartment is modern, minimalistic—exactly what Sae expected. “Kitchen’s over there. Fridge is stocked for now, but you’ll need to do your own groceries after this week.”

Sae nods, setting his bag neatly by the couch.

“The bedroom’s down the hall,” the manager continues, walking ahead. “Bathroom’s connected. There’s a desk if you need to study or review game footage. Wi-Fi’s already set up.”

Sae peeks into the bedroom—plain, clean, nothing extravagant. Just a bed, a nightstand, and a small window overlooking the street below.

“You’re across the hall?” Sae asks as they return to the main area.

“Yeah,” his manager confirms, crossing. “If you need anything, just knock.”

Sae scoffs lightly. “I’ll be fine.”

His manager gives him a once-over, then exhales. “Good. Then I’ll leave you to settle in.”

With that, the manager steps out, leaving Sae alone.

The moment the door clicks shut, Sae gets to work. He unzips his luggage, methodically putting his clothes away, setting his toiletries in the bathroom, and neatly stacking his training gear by the closet. He takes mental notes of what he needs—more food, basic supplies, maybe an extra pillow.

Once everything is in place, he pulls out his phone and dials home.

His mother picks up almost immediately. “Sae?”

“I just landed and got to the apartment,” he informs her, his voice steady. “Everything’s fine.”

“That’s good,” she says warmly. “Have you eaten?”

“I will soon.”

“Don’t just eat whatever’s fastest. Make sure you’re getting proper meals.”

Sae hums in acknowledgment before adding, “Tell Dad I made it safely. And Rin, too.”

“Of course,” his mother says. There’s a brief pause, then a softer, knowing tone in her voice. “It feels real now, doesn’t it?”

Sae leans against the counter, staring at the empty space around him. His new home. His new life.

“Yeah,” he murmurs.

After a few more exchanges, he hangs up, setting his phone aside.

His eyes drift to his carry-on, to the one thing he hadn’t put away yet.

The notebook.

The worn cover, the slightly frayed edges—he traces them with his fingers before flipping it open once again. The pages are filled with your handwriting, messy yet familiar, scrawled with thoughts and doodles from years ago.

It’s ridiculous, really. He hasn’t seen you in three years. He has no idea where you are, if you’re still in the same country, if you even remember him the way he remembers you.

But memories flood in anyway. The afternoons spent at the park, your determined expression when you first crashed his soccer game, the way you always talked too much but somehow, he never minded. The way you scribbled on his arm once with the same red ink you used to write—

"Wait for me. ❤️ y/n"

Sae exhales sharply and shuts the notebook.

Maybe it really was just puppy love.

He stands, grabs his wallet, and heads for the door.

He needs to get out, get familiar with the city. He’s going to live here now, after all.

—

The city is foreign, unfamiliar—Sae hates it.

He was never one for traveling. The only reason he’s here is to play soccer at an international level, but outside of that, it feels suffocating in a way he never expected.

The streets are too loud yet too quiet at the same time. He doesn’t understand the conversations happening around him, the unfamiliar syllables blending into meaningless noise. The people pass by in a blur, all strangers, none of them acknowledging him beyond quick  glances.

It’s not like he’s stupid enough to get scammed—he’s careful, always aware of his surroundings. But that doesn’t change the fact that he doesn’t belong here. It doesn’t change how frustrating it is to have all this free time and nowhere to go, no one to turn to.

The city is alive, buzzing with movement, but it only makes the loneliness feel sharper.

—

Today marks his second week in Madrid.

Sae realizes just how useless he is when it comes to directions.

The sun is already beginning to set, casting a golden glow over Madrid, and he has no idea where he is.

The street signs might as well be in a foreign language—which, technically, they are. He squints at them, but the unfamiliar words blur together, useless in helping him find his way. And as for Spanish? Well, he knows about as much as a toddler forming his first sentence.

Great.

Of course, it’s at a time like this that he remembers you.

Because you were always the human GPS between the two of you, navigating streets like you had a built-in map inside your head. You always knew the right turns to take, the fastest shortcuts.

And right now? Right now, he is the one most in need of that skill.

Rin thinks Sae is perfect, so he probably doesn’t even know about this little flaw of his.

Sae scoffs to himself, shaking his head. It’s ridiculous that, even now, when he’s supposed to be moving on, he still finds himself thinking about you.

He exhales sharply, pushing the thoughts away.

Enough.

With renewed determination, Sae steps onto the crosswalk, telling himself—again—that it’s time to leave his childhood love in the past.

But by the time he reaches the middle, doubt creeps in—just enough for him to hesitate, just enough for him to misstep.

And just enough for him to accidentally bump into someone walking from the opposite direction.

"Perdón," the girl mutters, barely sparing him a glance—until she does.

She stops short, eyes widening in surprise.

"Oh."

Sae blinks.

"It’s you."

For a moment, the city fades into the background. The people rushing past, the hum of conversation, the faint honking of impatient drivers—it all disappears.

You look different now. Your hair is dyed, a little wavier than before. A stylish bag hangs off your shoulder, outfit effortlessly put together in a way that makes you stand out even in the middle of Madrid.

But to him, you’re still the same stubborn girl who once barged into his soccer game with Rin, the one who never asked for permission—just demanded a pass like you belonged there. The one who never looked at him like everyone else did.

Your eyes are the same. That’s what catches him the most. Time has changed a lot of things, but not that. They still hold the same warmth, the same quiet confidence.

Sae wonders if he looks different to you, too. If you notice the way his shoulders have grown broader, the way the exhaustion lingers under his eyes. If you can tell that beneath all the fame and titles, there’s still a part of him that never stopped waiting for you.

Neither of you speak. Just stood there, caught in something neither of you were prepared for.

Sae exhales, then—without thinking—extends his hand toward you

But before you can take it, a sharp whistle cuts through the air.

"¡Oye! Move it!"

The traffic officer’s whistle cuts through the air, snapping both of you out of your daze.

Startled, you both turn at the same time, realizing the light has already turned green—and you’re still standing in the middle of the crosswalk.

Reality has always had a way of interrupting you two, hasn’t it?

Sae clenches his jaw, frustration flickering across his face. Meanwhile, you weren’t handling it any better—because instead of just walking away like a normal person, you were flipping off the traffic officer and hurling a wooden spoon at him.

Where did you even get that? Sae has no idea. And honestly, he’s not sure he wants to.

But then he feels you grab his arm, yanking him across the street as you break into a run—both of you fleeing from the traffic officer, who Sae can only assume is cursing you out in rapid Spanish.

And just like that, his expression softens.

—

“Whew, that was close,” you say between heavy breaths, still catching your breath from all that running.

Sae glances at you, unimpressed. “Maybe if you didn’t throw a spoon at him, we wouldn’t have to run.”

You roll your eyes, waving him off. “Oh, please. That guy already hates me. This isn’t even the first time, you know.”

Sae raises a brow. “Not surprised.”

You nudge him with your elbow. “Hey! Rude.”

He exhales sharply, stuffing his hands into his pockets. “What did you do to piss him off before?”

You smirk, tilting your head playfully. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

Sae gives you a look—unamused but intrigued nonetheless. “I would, actually.”

You grin, pretending to think. “Let’s just say… it involved a churro cart, an old lady, and a very, very unfortunate slip on my part.”

Sae stares at you for a moment before shaking his head. “You’re a menace.” 

You flash him a cheeky smile. “And yet, here you are, running away from traffic officers with me.”

He huffs but doesn’t argue. Because, somehow, you’re right—because he’s relieved that he can finally talk to someone other than his manager, and just as relieved to see that you haven’t changed at all.

Isn’t it ironic? The very day he decides to finally let go of your memory, fate throws you right back into his life.

But something nags at him. You haven’t asked about Madrid, about why he’s here. It’s like you’re not surprised at all, like it’s the most natural thing in the world to bump into him on the street.

Sae narrows his eyes slightly before speaking. “Hey, you’re not gonna ask?”

“Ask what?” you blink at him, confused. Then, as if remembering something, your face lights up. “Oh! Where are my manners?”

Before he can react, you throw yourself at him, wrapping him in a warm embrace.

Sae stiffens, caught completely off guard. But before he can say anything, you sigh dramatically against his shoulder. “I missed you so much! I can’t believe you followed me all the way to Spain. Oh, you really do love me.”

He clicks his tongue, exasperated. You’re being an idiot again—definitely pushing it.

But he doesn’t argue. He doesn’t deny it.

Instead, after a brief hesitation, he exhales and wraps a single arm around you, listening as you ramble on like no time has passed at all.

—

“Maybe I should put a tracker on you.” you tease, walking a step ahead of Sae as you lead him through the narrow streets of Madrid.  

He exhales sharply, shoving his hands into his pockets. “I would’ve figured it out eventually.”  

You throw him a look over your shoulder. “Yeah, sure. After getting lost for another three hours.”  

Sae doesn’t bother denying it. Instead, he follows as you turn into an alleyway, stopping in front of a small, unassuming café tucked between two buildings. 

“This place has the best tostada con tomate in the city,” you say, nodding toward the café. 

“The old man inside—Rafa—he always yells at me for ordering too much, but then he sneaks me an extra pastry for free.”  

As if on cue, the door swings open, and an elderly man steps out. His eyes land on you, and a slow grin spreads across his face. “¡Ah, mira quién es! La niña que me arruina el negocio.” (Ah, look who it is! The girl who’s ruining my business.)  

You laugh, stepping forward to greet him. “Don’t lie, Rafa. You love me.”  

Rafa scoffs but affectionately ruffles your hair before turning to Sae, eyes narrowing in scrutiny. “¿Y este quién es?” (And who’s this?)  

“My amigo,” you reply smoothly, though there’s a glint of mischief in your eyes. “He just moved here, so I’m showing him around.”  

Rafa studies Sae for a moment before nodding in approval. “Bien. Come inside. I’ll make sure he eats something decent.”  

Sae barely has time to protest before you’re dragging him through the door, the scent of warm spices and grilled meat immediately filling the air. The restaurant is small, a little tucked away from the busier streets, but it’s lively, filled with laughter and the soft hum of conversation.

When the food arrives, you dig in without hesitation, taking a bite and immediately letting out a dramatic sigh. “Oh my god,” you moan, clutching your chest like you’ve just ascended to heaven. “This is it. This is what happiness tastes like.”

Sae raises an eyebrow, unimpressed. “You sound ridiculous.”

“You sound jealous,” you retort, shoveling another bite into your mouth. “You haven’t even touched your food.”

Sae watches you for a moment. The way you eat so shamelessly, without a care for how you look, is something he vaguely remembers from when you were kids. Some things never change.

“I’m just letting you be the poison tester,” he mutters, finally picking up his fork.

You roll your eyes. “Please. If Rafa wanted to kill me, he would’ve done it years ago.”

Rafa, passing by, snorts. “She’s not wrong.”

Sae sighs, finally taking a bite. He won’t admit it, but it’s good. Really good.

Just as you’re finishing your plate, you glance at your phone and stand abruptly. “Be right back. Don’t go running off without me.”

Sae only scoffs in response, watching as you disappear towards the bathroom. The moment you’re gone, Rafa leans against the counter, wiping his hands on a towel before turning to Sae with a knowing smirk.

“She talked about you before, you know,” Rafa says casually.

Sae tenses slightly. “Did she?”

Rafa nods, chuckling. “Not by name. Just 'some guy I used to know who’s hopeless with anything besides soccer and even worse with emotions.'”

Sae huffs. “Sounds like something she'd say.”

Rafa shrugs. “Well, if you’re sticking around, you better get used to her dragging you everywhere. She’s got a habit of making lost people feel at home.”

Sae doesn’t respond, just looks at him, expression unreadable. Rafa only chuckles, shaking his head as he wipes down the counter.

A moment later, you return, eyes narrowing the second you spot them. “What’s this?” you ask suspiciously, sliding back into your seat. “What were you two talking about?”

Rafa smirks, tilting his head towards Sae. “Oh, nothing much. Just sharing stories.”

You gasp dramatically, pointing a finger at Sae. “You weren’t talking bad about me, were you?”

Sae finally speaks, deadpan. “Wouldn’t need to. You embarrass yourself enough.”

You scoff, reaching over to steal a piece of food from his plate. “Unbelievable. I leave for one second, and you two become best friends conspiring against me.”

Rafa laughs. “Don’t worry, querida. He’s not that easy to befriend.”

You nod sagely. “That’s true. I had to force him to like me.”

Sae rolls his eyes. That was true for most people, but definitely not for you.

He liked you from the get-go, like there was a gravitational pull towards you that he just couldn't escape from.

The day continues like that.  

You don’t take him to the usual tourist spots—the grand plazas or famous museums. Instead, you show him the Madrid you love.  

A tucked-away bookstore where the owner lets you sit and read for hours without buying anything. A tiny family-run tapas bar where the food is cheap but incredible, and the owners greet you like family. A rooftop spot where you swear the sunset looks better than anywhere else in the city.  

Everywhere you go, you introduce him like he belongs there.  

By the time the sky turns golden, Sae realizes something.  

This isn’t just a city to you. It’s a home.  

And for the first time since moving here, Madrid doesn’t feel so unfamiliar to him anymore.  

Maybe it’s because he’s finally seeing it through your eyes.

And maybe that so-called puppy love Rin kept telling him about is beginning to grow into something more.

a/n: "Puppy Love" is the one and only beloved Sae Itoshi fanfic franchise that will remain untouched by despair. I wholeheartedly believe that at some point during his four years in Spain, Sae had his dreams crushed and utterly heartbroken. But in this au? nah. no angst, no career-crushing disappointments, Just endless, tooth-rotting fluff and relationship bliss. The kind of soft, sweet moments Sae would never admit he enjoys. Because for once, he deserves to have something go perfectly right.

[pinksugarberries]

Se-mi NSFW alphabet

♪ ⁺ ➺ new upload! ⌢ 　　⠀ 𝜗𝜚ㅤ

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ﹏ ⠀⠀⠀⠀°(ˊ ᵔ ˋ )°　　⠀𝄒!　　⠀

∿⠀⠀⠀⠀ 𓉸ྀི⠀⠀⠀⠀𓈒⠀ 𓈒⠀⠀⠀⠀wc :: N/A⠀ᥘ⠀ׄ 🍯

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ♩ ⠀⠀warnings :: smut (obviously), hair pulling, spit, cigarette burning on skin, humiliation, recording, idk if i’m forgetting anything, female reader intended, fingering, overstimulating, se-mi and reader are switches, no game au　　୧

➺ ✿ ̣̣͙ a/n :: sorry for not posting tbh im just a lazy bums and i’ve been playing adopt me and cookie run kingdom… plz dont pull up to my house with pitchforks. enjoy this basic upload every other creator has done while i figure out how the ruck im gonna write this se-mi fic without getting second hand embarrassment. i wanna die. i might just scrap it and actually do the nam-gyu hate sex ok sorry for yapping ok bye done ok it’s about to start OKAY BYE IM SORRY აㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Aftercare

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ — what they like after sex

in my opinion, after fucking your brains out she would take the best care of you. bringing you practically any snacks, drinks, or take a shower with you (maybe have continuing shower sex) ♡⸜(˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ )⸝

if she subbed that night, she would usually be knocked out immediately and not ask for not, but may cuddle you in her sleep.

Body part

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ — their favorite body part about themselves and about you.

her favorite body part about her is definitely her tongue and fingers. she loves to specially please you with her tongue, licking and biting the sensitive spots on your neck and giving u a new rack of hickeys all over your perky, sensitive chest. she loves to watch you suck on her fingers and overstimulate you.

her favorite body part about you is definitely your tits or thighs. she loves sitting between them, or marking them as her own territory. she loves looking at your tits and can look at them for hours straight. she loves grabbing them while your on top and watching you bounce around on her strap, or looking at them in a tube top or a tank top u decided to wear, which showed off some of the healed hickeys she gave you. (you miserably failed at hiding them with your hair)

Cum

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ — anything about cum

she loves watching you coat her fingers white with your sweet juices while she’s fingering you, overstimulating you too the brim. if you’re not frying and yearning for her touch by the end of your session, she didn’t do her job correctly.

she likes to see you make a mess all over her strap, she has countless videos of your cumming all over her in her camera roll.

Dirty secret

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ — a dirty secret of theirs

she wants to have high sex with you, but she knows it’ll never happen.

has a photo album in her hidden photos of just your nudes

Experience

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ — how my much experience do they have?

she’s not as experienced, but she knows how to please you and only you.

Favorite Position

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ — (it’s not favourite you dorks)

she definitely prefers reverse cowgirl and doggystyle. but while your topping her, she finds it more comfortable to ride you. while your in doggystyle position, she loves to grab onto your lose tits as you take her strap relentlessly.

Goofy

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ — are they more serious during intimacy?

ok so i don’t she’s as serious as you guys think she is, sure she is like LOCKED IN but she might crack a corny joke at the wrong time while you’re having sex, that’s just who she is.

Intimacy

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ — how intimate are they during sex?

she’s not the biggest on intimacy, but she doesn’t completely neglect it. sometimes if you’re both tired but still horny she’ll take things more slow and talk you through it, whispering sweet nothings in your ear while her strap is pounding into you slowly but deeply.

Jack off

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ — how frequent do they masturbate/jack off?

she doesn’t masturbate much, but if she does it’s because you’re away from her.

she never watches porn. why would she when she has videos and photos of you in her phone?

Kink

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ — one or more of their kinks

i don’t know if there’s a specific kink name for this, but she would enjoy smoking while your having sex, and lighting them out all over your body, leave cigarette marks all over your thighs and back, likes she’s painting a canvas.

would love the idea of breeding you but (you know) (should i made g!p next?)

loves to overstimulate you during sex. her favorite way to clear you is swirling her tongue around your sensitive clit as she had 3 to 4 fingers in your hole, pounding into you relentlessly.

Location

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ — where they like or dislike to have sex

she would pretty much do it anywhere with your approval.

but she feels more comfortable in your house.

she prefers to bend you over onto the counter and fuck you in your kitchen, or catch you off guard while your in the living room.

Motivation

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ — what turns them on

she definitely gets turned on by your body, and just you in general.

she likes it when you tease her, but she also finds it slightly annoying while the both of you are in a public area.

she loves seeing you vulnerable with her, and she is grateful to have your trust.

No

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ — what they would not do at all, no negotiations

sorry, but definitely role play. she wouldn’t take it serious and she thinks it’s just stupid and a time waster.

even though she likes to see your pretty tears fall while she’s fucking you, she would never inflict pain onto you, even if you asked, she just isn’t that type of person.

Oral

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ — preferences in giving, receiving, and skill

she is definitely more on the giving side, but she wouldn’t mind receiving.

she loves when you sit on her face. she gets to play with your ass while she eats you out (win win situation for her)

she has some of the best skills, like… i don’t think she is bad at it at all. but when you guys first had intercourse, it wasn’t as good as it was now.

Pace

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ — fast? rough? slow? sensual?

she can be any of these at any time.

she she’s subbing, she prefers you to be more sensual that she is with you. she loves when you whisper in her ear and feel on her body as you fuck her, it really gets her going.

she prefers to go rough, but slow/sensual with you. like DEEP ass thrust. (with her strap… heh.)

Quickie

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ — what they think of quickies

she loves a good quickie once in while, especially if it’s you and her in a slightly cramped bathroom as she’s fingering your itch all her might, her other hand gripping your clothed toy as you put a hand over your mouth. she loves to feel your body pulsate over her fingers.

but, she does prefer to do the whole thing when you get home, she feels more comfortable and she feels like her best performances are there.

Risk

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ — do they take risk during sex? do they like to explore?

she doesn’t usually explore unless you bring anything up.

she has a hate love relationship with risk. ever since the two of you got caught that one time fucking in nam-guys bathroom, she’s always been down but a bit more cautious.

Stamina

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ — how many rounds can they go?

she can go about 5 rounds max before she is out cold.

surprisingly, she has a lot more stamina than you thought she would.

her thrust and licks may get a bit lazier and weaker on the 5th round, but she is more sensual and more attractive during her tired, vulnerable moment.

Toys

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ — do they own toys? do they use them? etc.

strap, dildo, vibrator

(sometimes she uses the dildo on herself—) WHO SAID THAT

she definitely likes to overstimulate with toys as well, not just her tongue.

she also enjoys to watch you fuck yourself with a dildo sometimes when she’s out of it but still horny.

Unfair

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ — how much they tease during sex

she is a TOTAL tease.

she also constantly edges you or makes you beg for your release.

she also gets extremely cocky during sex, just thought i should add that

Volume

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ — how loud are they during sex?

while she’s domming, she’s not really the loudest when she isn’t scissoring you. she may let out a few grunts once in awhile

when the two of you are scissoring, she moans a lot louder and more than you expected her too, she gets REALLY in the moment.

Wild card

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ — a random headcannon of the character

let’s you squirt into her mouth without any compliants

X-ray

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ — what’s going on under them panties?

idfk how to answer this.. she has a black 7inch strap.

Yearning

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ — how high is their sex drive

her sex drive isn’t the highest, but it’s not the lowest, she’s somewhere in the middle, but she’s never turned down an opportunity to have sex with you.

Zzz

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ — how quickly they fall asleep after sex

she usually isn’t fast asleep, she may turn on the tv for white noise for the both of you to fall asleep too or grab you some water, than falls sleep next to you.

but if she’s REALLY tired, she is almost out immediately.

[orionhelluvaranting]

My Predictions for Helluva Boss

Alright, guys, not gonna lie... I'm tired from HB! Protagonist-centered morality, favoritism, lack of stakes, Stolass' endless woobification, etc... It has become too much for me. Thus I've gave up any hopes for the writing improvement and refused to watch the show in the long run.

But!

This won't stop me from analysing the previous episodes that I've already watched. Furthermore, I wanna make a few predictions about what's going to happen in the next two seasons (unless those will be cancelled). Perhaps I'll repeat some of the points other critics had already made. So I'm sorry in advance for this, mates.

Now careful, there's a HUGE list under the cut! 🔮

⋆˙˖⟡°˖⟡˙ {Predictions} ˙⟡˖°⟡˖˙⋆

None of the main cast is dead. The plot armor is too strong. Especially for Stolass. I mean, do you genuinely believe that Viv would kill her precious sad bean?! Bitch, please! 🤗

All/most of the antagonists are dead. The only exception I can think about is Cherubs. They're just too unthreatening to bother about. Prolly the D.H.O.R.K.S are dead but reborn in the Hell and Idk if that counts or not 💀⚰️

If the rumors about one of the Deadly Sins' upcoming death are true then it's going to be Mammon. No other options 💸 (Btw I saw a fan theory about Blitzø killing Mammon and taking his place... Well, considering how poorly Viv handles the class problem I wouldn't be surprised if that came true)

F!zzarozz!e get married (S3) 💞 - 100% probability

Stol!tzø get married (S4, finale) 💞 - 100% probability

M&M became parents. Honestly I thought they'll save it for the end but after Sinsmas... Yeah. Anyway the truth about Millie's pregnancy is revealed (nearly to the middle of S3), she gives a birth for pro-lifers' delight and takes maternity leave becoming a background character. The child prolly is a boy and gets a better development than his mother. Apparently he's named Blitzø Junior or smth like that 👨‍👩‍👧

F!zzarozz!e & Stol!tzø double date💕

Moxxie's insecurity issue is showed at least once at the season. Now he isn't sure about himself being a good father/protector/role model for his son 💪

Loona shows her human disguise at least once at the season. Doesn't really matter if there's no logical reason for that 🐺➡️👩

More sappy sad ballads performed by Stolass 🎵

I.M.P. continue murdering people and not giving a fuck about morality (Sinsmas was the only act of mercy) OR they leave the business and fully go for Stol!tz soap opera (not like they haven't done that already- but hey! there's always room for degradation, right?) 📉

Stolass succeeds at the dime novels writing 📜✍️

Carnal hyper-sensual coitus between Stolass and Blitzø appears on-screen. Correct me if I'm wrong but I remember Viv expressed her desire to animate an intimacy act, so I have zero doubts these two are involved. It can't be anyone but them 🤢

Octavia forgives Stolass the moment she finds out about Stella's abusive nature. And since Stella's confirmed as a "stupid cow" the truth's revealed in the dumbest way possible. I wouldn't be surprised if Stella spilled the beans by herself 🤦‍♀️

Blitzø boosts his connection with Stolass the moment he finds out about Stella's abusive nature. After all we've got a sex out of pity, so why wouldn't we got a love out of pity as well? 🤡

Possibly Striker/Stella had been a thing at a certain time. Why? Because ✨fanservice✨ of course! And yes, it's going to be as dull, flat and out of nowhere as Cherr!snake. Or maybe worse 🙁

Stella's backstory turns out like the "she was born evil so don't you dare to sympathise with her" full edition. There is no valid motivation, no intriguing conflicts, no nuances - none of that. There is only Stolass' woobification arc. So this backstory isn't about Stella. It's revolved mainly around Stolass, maybe around Andrealphus or Vassago at the least. Granted that Stella ever had a chance to receive a decent backstory for herself Vivienne would've thrown it away right in the next episode without mentioning it ever again 😭

Actually Mammon can't play the guitar 🎸 He's just too dumb and untalented for this (according to Vivienne). Don't expect an epic villain song from him. I'd be happy to be wrong about this one but my hopes are dead

More fatphobic jokes toward Mammon 👎

Stolass' in drag. Just no comments 💄👠

Love triangle between Stolass, Blitzø and Vassago. At one point, Stolass leaves Blitzø because he doesn't satisfy his wet dreams well enough. Vassago and Stolass have complete mutual understanding and the idyll but Stolass feels smth isn't right. Smth is missing, smth like… Meanwhile Blitzø suffers and seeks Stolass' mercy. Eventually Stolass comes back to Blitzø because 💖 ~ they belong together ~ 💖

Perhaps after the breakup between Stolass and Vassago the latter will get together with Andrealphus 💘

Millie & Moxxie or Fizz & Ozzie giving romantic advices to Blitzø / helping him improve the relationship with Stolass 💝

Barbie Wire forgives Blitzø in her next appearance and then moves away from the plot without a trace 💨

Sapphic bait 💗 Verosika/Barbie Wire? Barbie Wire/Sallie May? Sallie May/Verosika? All of them together? I don't know! But I do know Viv would rather escape from being accused of wlw underrepresentation. Since she has promised S3 is going to be "a queer roller coaster" she would need to dilute her sausage party a bit. And of course the lesbian ship (whichever it would be) is poorly developed.

New unnecessary characters for celebrity VA's ⭐

Stolass was kidnapped... again?! Yes, Striker abducted him before but... Why wouldn't do this one more time? After all the stans love presenting Viv's auto-plagiarism as meaningful "symbolic parallels". Besides kidnapping is one of the most beloved tropes in fanfiction. And HB is an animated fanfic for sure ⛓

More shitty dads/exes? Because Viv adores reusing the same tropes over and over again 💩

"Positive" characters keep being justified and woobified infinitely 😇 while villains are losing all their charisma and braincells from episode to episode 😈

Nobody will ever remember that Stolass harassed Blitzø 🙈

Nobody will ever remember that Ozzie allows succubi to enter the mortal realm and seduce humans by hypnotic songs (which doesn't sound pro-consent, does it, Mr. Lust-Is-Not-About-Force?) 🙉

Nobody will ever remember that Queen Bee runs shelters (which are essentially slave trade hellholes) in terrible conditions 🙊

Stolass' "depression" is brought up occasionally as a reason to justify and pity him. Stolass' immediately healed by Stella's death. Right after that the depression has disappeared completely. Therapy sessions aren't required. Even if the therapy is shown then only as a lame joke 🌧

Stolass brings his powers back because he's out... for LOOOOoOHoOOOHoOOVE!!! 💓💃🏻

Stolass gets everything he ever wanted without any efforts and self-improvement. Because he's good enough already and everyone who disagree is just stupid and mean 🏆

Aaaaaaaand that's all! My forecast: at least 80% of these predictions will come true one way or another. And what do you think? Maybe you have your own ideas? Please share those in the comments/reblogs! It'd be cool if someone made a bingo based on all this. It definitely wouldn't be me because today I'm identifying myself as a lazy ass. Bye-bye! 👋😊