#idk why I just adore her so much and nobody talks about her

[ghstzzn]

—so confusing

☹︎ because being just friends clearly isn’t working out anymore.

or, your best friend going from avoiding you to letting you dry hump him after an emotional confession.

pairing: yang jungwon x f!reader genre: smut/suggestive, f2l

tags/warnings: smut/suggestive, dry humping, weed usage and mentions, nobody gets too high, completely consensual and he cums in his pants, fluffy shit, he calls her a brat a few times but in a cute way :) MDNI! barely proofread! lmk if i missed any mistakes :3 3.8k words

💭 : yeah its fluffy. idk man. it was supposed to be nasty but i got really emotional.

jungwon was living in the prime years of his life. 

a full ride scholarship in one of the best universities in the country, a tight knit group of friends, the professor’s favorite… and yet, here he was, sitting alone in some basement at a party he should’ve skipped out on as he smoked someone else's weed.

you and jungwon had entered this college together, being study buddies bloomed into something deeper and now you both were each other's treasure— best friends. 

jungwon never once wanted to stay just friends, in fact, he used to have a crush on you when you first became friends. but you were dating someone— someone shitty, who could never treat you the way he could.

but it didn’t matter now that you both were adults, and in college.

he’d watch as you pranced around from boy to boy with a smile, acting as if it never bothered him. he’s moved on from his silly crush. but the feelings linger deep inside of him.

but it’s only gotten worse for jungwon. 

you became confident when it came to him. he was your best friend, the closest friend you had, so of course you came to him when you needed help with boys. when you asked what type of girls his friend jake liked, or if sunghoon had ever talked about you before.

everything went downhill when you accidentally sent him a picture of you in your tiniest bikini, “hows this?” he tried to ignore it, he really did. but it was hard. every time he closed his eyes, he saw your tits squished together and barely covered by the black bikini top. jungwon almost drove himself to the nearest church after he shoved his right hand in his pants while his phone sat in his left.

jungwon was losing his mind.

his feelings grew along with your own popularity. you became a trending name within the university and the parties that were thrown. people started to adore you, they seeked you out in a crowd of people. you were sweet and charming, a rather large friend group but of course—only one best friend. 

the male has been avoiding you since you sent that picture. of course you bugged him, asking if you did something wrong or begged him to just talk to you. even though jungwon was avoiding you, he couldn’t deny the burst of pride he felt in his chest when he knew you seeked him out the most out of everyone.

he avoided you so much that he lost track of your daily routine, he had no idea you were coming to this party tonight.

when jungwon saw you skip around in the living room of the large house, he almost started choking on the drink he was ingesting. the small skirt you were wearing was a centimeter away from revealing the panties you were wearing. 

he was torn between throwing a jacket around your hips or lowering his chair to catch a good glimpse. both would surely get his ass kicked.

and so he escaped, barely noticing the glance you threw in his direction.

he jogged down to the basement of his friend's ridiculously large house, plopping down on the couch with his head in his hands. 

he was fucked, so fucked. jungwon had told you last week that he’d be stuck at the library all night tonight, which is why he turned down your invitation to hang out. he didn’t want to be alone with you on a friday night. 

his phone dings, once or twice. your contact name flashed on his screens for a few moments before it turned off, only showing jungwons reflection. 

all he can hear is charlie xcx vibrating through the upper floorboards of the basement. he’s never felt this confused in his life. he was sure he was over the small crush he had on you, so sure. he went almost three years without a single romantic thought. now his mind was flashing with images of your lips, plush tits and your thighs.

jungwon’s feelings only confused him more when he found himself getting irritated the more he thought about you. he truly did not know if he hated you or if he was in love with you. 

every thought consumes him as he leans back into the couch cushions. your parents loved him, it took awhile for him to gain their trust but he finally did. but now they see jungwon as your protector, a brotherly love, someone who could cherish you but never cross any lines. he wasn’t good enough to be a boyfriend nor a husband like they want, and he was sure that sleeping with you and breaking your heart would result him to be shunned away leaving behind a broken relationship that could never be fixed.

reaching over the coffee table with a huff, jungwon picks up a pre-rolled joint from an unlabeled container. he wastes no time before lighting it and deeply inhaling. 

just to pause his mind.

he closes his eyes, listening to the muffled music as he holds the joint to his lips. soft thuds coming from the staircase rips jungwon from his short meditation session. as soon as his eyes open he’s greeted by you skipping down the stairs, turning your head differently directions as if you were searching for something.

when your eyes land on his lazy figure, they widen and you let out an excited “oh!”

jungwon clears his throat, trying not to choke on the last hit he took and attempts to sit up but you had already appeared directly in front of him.

“jake said you were down here?” you start, slightly out of breath. “i didn’t know you’d be here? didn’t you hear me call for you upstairs?”

he shakes his head, blowing the smoke from his mouth away from you. you quickly take a seat next to him, your legs resting against his. it takes everything in him not to push your legs off of his and run away. 

“do you hate me?” he might. you take a deep breath, toying with the string sticking out from the seam of his pants. “did i do something, won?”

you’ve never really sat down and figured out your feelings for jungwon until he started avoiding you. it started out as a tiny crush on the guy you used to study with, but when he started hanging around more often, your stomach would flutter. 

there was an attempt to get rid of the foolish feelings you had for him. it just would never work between the two of you. your best friend has a smile brighter than the sun, he has aspirations bigger than the both of you  and a pure heart—surely he was interested in someone else.

and the way he looks at you now just hurts. and it hurts worse than the ways he tried so hard to avoid you.

you tried going for his friends, ones that you knew were good guys, cute boys that could easily take your mind off your best friend turned love interest. but if anything, it all got worse. 

every person you turned to had talked about jungwon. it was like you couldn’t escape and you were forced to face your true feelings for him.

so when you saw him tonight, after days of radio silence, you were excited. not just because of your feelings, but because to you—he’s still your best friend.

“you didn’t do anything.” his voice is monotone, dry and weak of any emotion. yet it drives a stake straight through your heart.

“you’re not mad at me?”

he shakes his head.

“were you busy?” 

you only wished he told you yes.

“i wasn’t busy.” jungwon sighs, exhaling the smoke from his mouth. and for the first time tonight, he really looked at you. 

your hair looked softer than usual, it’s probably the new hair product you showed him in a message he never responded to. he can smell it along with your perfume—one that he picked out. he thinks the scents are too strong but he likes them on you.

“are we still friends?” his heart almost breaks in half when he sees the pout forming on your face. the fact that your glossy eyes and downturned lips were because of him, made him hate all of this even more. what was he even doing?

he can feel the high take effect, it’s subtle yet the room still spins around him as he studies your sad expression.

“i could never hate you.”

you glance up at him, locking eyes. 

“but i don’t think i can be friends with you anymore.”

your heartbeat quickens and you feel your hands get clammy. the regret of showing up tonight was starting to sink in, by now, you were wishing he really was stuck at the library for the night. “what?”

“no, don’t say anything.” he sighs and leans forward, stubbing the joint in the ashtray. “i like you. it’s getting to a point where it’s too much for me to handle.” jungwon practically vomits up that sentence, feeling the weight be lifted from his shoulder. “i can’t be around you. it’s like, you control my body and emotions when you’re near me and i just— i can’t pretend to be your friend when you make me feel like an entirely new person.”

you swallow hard at the sudden confession. you want to say something but you feel stuck in your spot.

“i don’t expect you to return my feelings but i need to be honest with you and myself,” he continues, facing away from you because god, he would rather die than see you reject him face to face. “i want you in ways you can’t imagine and i want to be the only one you look at. and you have a right to know this.”

“jungwon, please look at me.” you sigh, pleading with him.

“i literally can’t.”

you roll your eyes and grab his arm, tugging it closer to you which forces him to turn his head. he feels his heart stop when he sees the gummy smile on your face. “i want to ask you to be my boyfriend but only if you’re looking at me.”

“excuse me?” jungwons voice is full of disbelief. 

“what? you just confessed to me as if i’m dying or something,” you giggle, studying his furrowed eyebrows. you could tell this was tearing him up inside. “i want you to be my boyfriend but not if you’re gonna be all gloomy about it. i like you too, stupid.”

jungwon couldn’t even hide the smile growing on his face. it’s take everything inside of you to not lunge at him and kiss every inch of his face. the way his dimples are on display and his eyes crinkle as he smiles makes you melt into the couch. 

you lean forward onto your knees and cup his face in your hands. “you’re the bravest person i know yet you couldn’t even tell a girl that you liked her?”

“not when that girl is you.” his voice is soft and his face is flushed. 

“i’m nothing special,” you respond, leaning close enough so that your lips are ghosting over the tip of his nose. “and i like you a lot.”

jungwon wastes no time pulling you into his lap, earning a giggle from you. it was music to his ears. “and what do you like about me?” 

“well, for one, you’re hot.” he laughs, shaking his head at your response. you smack his shoulder lightly. “i’m serious. and, you’ve got such a broad personality—you’re comforting to be around. i can be myself and not feel bad about it.”

“really? all i do is smoke weed and study.”

“shut up and let me finish,” you cut him off, poking his forehead. he reaches up and grabs your wrist, bringing it down and interlocking his hand with yours. “you make me feel so good about myself, you protect me even when i think i can handle myself and you’ve just always been there when i needed someone. you make me feel safe, won.” 

this was not what jungwon had in mind for the night. never did he think he would be confessing to his best friend at some random college party after a few hits of a blunt. nor did he think she would be the one to ask him out instead.

“so yeah, i fucking like you a lot. and if you ever ignore me again like that, i’m going to tell my mom because that really hurt, won.” 

he lets out a nervous chuckle, “i’m not usually like this.” you nod in agreement, causing him to roll his eyes. “seriously, you know this. i just… didn’t know what to do.”

“well, it doesn’t matter now.” you hum, wrapping your arms loosely around his neck. “okay, boyfriend?”

“mhm… girlfriend.” the room has stopped spinning for jungwon. now, all he could hear was the soft bump of the music upstairs and your breath. he glances up at your eyes but quickly realizes you were focused on his lips. a small smile forms on his face. 

“but what about jake? 

“seriously? i’m about to kiss you and you’re asking about jake…?” 

jungwons eyebrows raise, “i’m just wondering beca-“

you slam your lips onto his, effectively cutting him off. he immediately falls into the kiss, letting his hands wrap around your hips to pull you closer. months of tension had built of to this moment, and it dissipates with every needy pull at his lips.

he starts to regret every minute he spent avoiding you as he holds your body close to his, feeling the warmth against his own. jungwon could lose himself in you, and he wouldn’t mind that at all.

and he’s not sure if it’s the lingering high that's making his stomach flutter as you deepen this kiss or his pure longing for you, but what he does know is that he needs you now.

jungwon pulls back slightly to say something but you peck his lips again, “stop talking.”

“i just wanted to say how pretty you look right now.”

you blush at his words. it was finally sinking in that your best friend returned your feelings, and that you were here in his lap, kissing him as if it were your last night on earth. “are you high?”

he gives you a lazy smile, “a little bit. but that’s not the reason for any of this.”

you purse your lips and shrug. his hands were tight on your hips, rubbing slow lazy circles into your skirt with his thumbs. it sent shivers down your spine. the moodiness of the room plus how good jungwon looked under you was pulling you into a trance.

he looked mesmerizing.

“can you kiss me again?”

his question makes you melt. you nod your head before gently placing your lips on his again. it turns more passionate with every passing second. his tongue brushes against your lips, seeking entrance to your mouth and you let him in.

“‘m so lucky,” he mutters into the kiss. you smile, gripping his hair in your hands as you suck the words out of his mouth. “you’re so pretty… and all mine now.”

you pull back, slightly out of breath. “i’m all yours, so act like it.”

“i promise.” he lifts one hand and pulls you against him once more, this time taking charge of the kiss.

jungwon trails his hand slowly down your side, reaching your lower back. you arch in his touch, rolling your hips against his lap in the process. he lets out a soft groan that makes your ears perk and your heart flutter. 

you release his lips and plant soft kisses around the corners of his mouth, against his cheek and down his jawline. giving soft kitten licks against his jawline as you trail down his neck. he leans back and lifts his head, giving you full access. jungwon takes this as a sign and begins gently moving your hips with his hands, guiding you into grinding against the crotch of his sweats.

you pull back, grabbing his hands as you rut against him, just like he wants. “you’re so cute, won.”

“cute?” his voice is breathy, on the verge of breaking. “you think this is cute?”

“i think you’re very cute when you want something,” you whisper, your lips ghosting over his. he nods his head, his breath hitching as you grind against his hardening length. 

“i told you earlier how badly i wanted you. i wasn’t lying.”

you giggle, pecking at the corners of his mouth. you’re grateful he wore sweatpants to a house party. “i can tell.”

he groans and leans his head back against the cushions. his cock is twitching against the fabric of his sweats, and the fact that your only wearing panties under your skirt isn’t helping him at all. jungwon could practically feel your warmth and it was killing him that he couldn’t be inside you right now. 

“you’re killing me.” his voice is strained, and you can see his jaw tighten with every roll of your hips. 

you situate your position in his lap, making sure you’re directly on top of his length. he sucks his breath in and lifts his head, staring down between both of your laps, wishing he could just move your skirt from his view. 

“but you don’t want me to stop, do you?” 

jungwon shakes his head, gripping your hips tighter and lifting the fabric of your skirt up just enough to see the lace you were hiding beneath them. 

“fuck…” he practically moans out. “please don’t stop.”

you bite back a whimper, every word caught in your throat now. “g-good… because i really don’t want to.”

he lifts your skirt higher, bunching it at your hips so he could watch as you grind down onto his clothed dick. the view is mesmerizing, and the sight of it makes him want to bust right there, especially when his eyes catch the damp patch you were leaving behind on the grey material. 

“just couldn’t wait, could you?” 

you let out a deep exhale, hips stuttering when you hear his voice, deeper and strained. “no… couldn’t wait for this.” 

“baby…” 

“you think that bikini picture was an accident?”

upon hearing those words leave your mouth, he can’t help the way his hips jolt upwards against you, causing you both to let out some form of whimper. 

he lets out a dry laugh and looks up at you, “you’re kind of a brat. all of that was on purpose?”

“i don’t think you know how badly i’ve been wanting you, won.” you admit through breathy whines. “it was all for you.”

“fuck—don’t say that to me, i might cum.”

you lean closer, resting your forehead against his as you quicken the pace of your hips. it was tiring, but hearing that made you gain a burst of stamina. 

jungwon groans loudly, trying to hold your hips still but you push against him. “did—did you not hear me?”

“please jungwon.”

it was pathetic how easily he gave into your pleas. it wasn’t an exaggeration when he says he would do anything for you. but when he hears that whiney voice paired with his name, it wasn’t hard to give up anything. so what if he cums in his pants like he’s never been touched before.

that’s how you made him feel. 

“i-i missed you so much,” you whine against his lips, feeling his hips meet yours, his cock perfectly nested against your cunt despite the fabric of his sweatpants restricting you from completely feeling him.

“i know, i’m sorry, baby,” jungwon responds, voice breaking as he inches closer and closer. his stomach is tense, holding back his oncoming orgasm just for you. it was hard, he shouldn’t have smoked beforehand knowing how sensitive he gets. but god, this was everything he wanted and he did not want to stop. “i won’t do it again, i promise you.” 

you slam your lips against his, eating up every groan and whimper he gives you as you rut against him desperately. and he lets you. jungwon lets you completely take over, he lets you get yourself off—dry humping him with pure need and desire.

his hips stutter and his stomach tenses up, “baby… please s-slow..” his cock is throbbing, begging for release. 

“just let go…” you purr, grinding downwards, feeling his cock practically jump at the action.

and he does. he cums embarrassingly quickly just from your words. 

jungwon holds you against him, burying his face in your chest as he cums against the fabric of his sweats. the throbbing never goes away and the sounds he lets out are no less than pathetic but neither of you care, both desperate for release. 

your own hips stutter when you feel the warm liquid seep through, soaking your thighs and ass. 

“won…” you softly cry out, fingers gripping his hair tightly. this wasn’t at all what you planned for the night, but you aren’t disappointed. even as your own orgasm washes over your body, all you can think about was getting back to his apartment for more. 

his hips jolt in sensitivity, he pulls back and lifts your hips from his lap. “god, please stop…” 

you watch as he throws his head back, eyes shut from the pleasure. a smile takes over your face when you see his chest rise and fall, watching as he tries to recompose himself.

“it’s not funny,” he lifts his head ever so slightly, squinting at you. “just wait… when we get back.”

“don’t over exert yourself, wonnie.” 

your giggles only spur him on. 

“you might be pretty but you’re a fucking brat.”

jungwon lifts his head and lets you fall back to your original position, wincing when you don’t even try to land softly on his crotch. you lean forward and kiss him once, then twice, traveling to his ear. “don’t talk to your girlfriend like that.” you whisper before nibbling on his earlobe. 

“yeah?” goosebumps spread across his skin and he squeezes your ass in response, causing you to pull back and smile widely. 

“yeah. especially when you were so mean to her by ignoring her like she didn’t exist for weeks.”

jungwon tilts your head. you weren’t wrong, but he knew why you kept bringing it up. 

“then i guess i should take you home and make up for all that time missed, huh? as an apology?”

you tap your finger against your chin, humming as you pretend to be deep in thought. “hmm… i guess you could. just don’t cum in your pants before we get home again.”

he shakes his head, scoffing playfully. “seriously. you’re a brat.”

[humongousgothskeletonfarm]

TGR CHAPTER 16 THOUGHTS **SPOILER WARNING**

- the teams in the western district refusing to talk shit about jean and saying he was very polite when asked by reporters is so fucking awesome

- cat and jeans friendship rlly is so precious to me

- disappointed that jean and the girls privacy has been violated in the leak of their address but also that letter from one of jeans old youth exy teammates was rather sweet

- literally just said what the fuck outloud about ten times

istg the raven lineup is being picked off one by fucking one

- pointless update but i just got distracted watching instagram reals for an hour

- “All the Trojans looked excited to be here, Jean realized as he glanced from one laughing face to another, and he felt the chasm between his heart and theirs keenly. ​He couldn’t remember the last time he’d looked at a court with any bright emotion.”

man jean u rlly do ur best to make me cry

- “Derek used the railing to haul himself up, and Tori caught his face in her hands for a quick kiss. A group of fans six rows up erupted in hoots and cheers, and Derek was grinning like a fool when he dropped back down to flat ground. ​Cherise caught Jean’s eye as he started to step back and said, “Look after our boys out there, will you?” ​“Our boys!” Derrick yelled before taking off at full speed. “Our! Boys!” ​“One of these days you’ll figure out he’s not joking about you,” “Sort yourself out before you string him along much longer, would you? He’s my brother.” MY GRIN IS SO HUGE GUYS JUST THIS WHOLE SCENE I LOVE IT

- jean taking every opportunity he gets to say how ugly and tacky he finds the trojans uniform is so funny he’s my fave hater

- stupid beautiful kevin and his big mouth, baby he wasn’t looking at jere he was looking at u

- i do have to say, as absolutely devastating as each revelation about jeans crushes is. kevjerejean shippers gotta be some of the luckiest bitches out there, y’all rlly devoted urselves to a ship with characters that hardly interacted in the og books, two of which clearly had beef and trauma. y’all are being indirectly fed with this series and each new revelation

(and before anyone takes this the wrong way, yes i do enjoy the ship! but if we’re talking kevin day ships then i must admit kandreil is my fave)

- “You are very good,” he said to Jeremy. “I finally understand why Kevin admires this team.” ​Looking at Jeremy was a mistake; Jean forced his attention back to the court so he wouldn’t have to face that pleased smile. ​“We,” Jeremy said. “We are very good, Jean.”

this is adorable and all but i can’t get over the fact that jean has been training with them for so longer and has played against them multiple times and just now he’s like yeah actually u guys aren’t bad!! 😭😭

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

- IMAGINE TRYNA PSYCH OUT UR OPPONENT BY SAYING ‘HON HON HON’ TRYING TO MOCK THEM ID LAUGH IN HIS FACE IF I WAS JEAN LIKE U JUST MADE URSELF LOOK STUPID

- aftg is the only sports book i’ve ever read and the only books that were able to make me actually interested in reading about sports

-Jean offered his mark a thumbs-up and intoned in English, “Have a winning day.” SHUT THE FUCK UP I LOVE HIM BADDDDDD HES SO FUNNY HE DID THE THING!! HIS OPPONENT WAS CUT AS FUCK AFTER THAT

- “Jean thought of Tetsuji and Riko and let the blows land unanswered.” well that majorly brought my mood down :(

- ““Oh,” Jeremy said, affecting surprise. “That’s rude, considering your current roster. I hope you apologize to them later.” JEREMY COMING IN HOT

nobody tell hinch there’s more than two queer people on the trojans team

- “He couldn’t fight Lander, so he did the only thing he could and slammed his racquet into his own shin guard with a one-handed swing.”

istg nora loves to inflict pain upon me

- YOU 😭WERE 😭INCREDIBLE 😭OUT 😭THERE😭

- god jere ur making ME blush with all these compliments i can’t imagine how jean feels…

- pls jeremy telling jean he is infinitely better than his opponent and then going oh god sorry idk what’s come over me that was so rude!

- cat getting so excited about jeans winning day comment is everything

- “i’ve never really been a Raven fan.” QUEEN DO NOT BE ASHAMED TO ADMIT THIS U CLOCKED THEIR BS

- “Butchering it was an understatement.” THE SNARK godddd no wonder i fucking love him and neil’s friendship so much

- THE GASP I JUST GUSPED!!!!! REACHER IS HERE????

-“I don’t owe you anything.” YES BABY UR LEARNING

- 😀 this is my face rn because my app reloaded before i could save this draft and i lost the last half of this post so now i have to go back and rewrite it all from my memory!!!

- i HATE u reacher

- “Jean registered Coach, Rhemann decked Zane hard enough to throw him. He looked ten feet tall as he towered over Zane’s crumpled body, radiating a rage he’d never once turned on his own players.” THANK UUUU COACH RHEMANN UR MY HERO PLS ACCEPT THIS TROPHY 🏆 AS A TOKEN IF MY GRATITUDE FOR DOING WHAT WE ALK WANTED TO DO AND PROTECTING JEAN

- umm hello??? DOES COACH RHEMANN HAVE A HUSBAND??? HES GAY???

- oh i’m sick to my stomach. i am crying rn this is veryyy hard to read. oh jean u didn’t deserve what they put u through. and u did what u had to do to survive.

for anyone who hasn’t read the books and is seeing this, i’d like to leave a trigger warning*** for jeans discussion of rape and him being forced to say that he liked it, and self harm (jean hitting himself in the head). the scene takes place during rhemann and jeans talk in the office after their first match (roughly page 348-351 on mobile app)

it is very difficult and confronting to read, if u know u are likely to get upset by the above topics, pls take care of urself. i’ll leave this with some very wise quotes from rhemann:

“Listen to me. It doesn’t matter what you said. You were just a kid trying to survive as best you could. No one can blame you for that.”

“Repeat after me: I didn’t deserve what they did to me.”

- rhemann telling jean he’s safe and he’s got him and holding him tight as he breaks down goddddd they’re everything. this is what jean needs

(and i hate to make another tfc parallel but theyre always on my mind)

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

- ok i took a break to process after that roller coaster, watched more mind numbing instagram reels and now im back! it is currently 12:47am, i have classes tomorrow but i have about 130 pages left and i am determined to read as much as i can before i pass out. let’s see how i go!

- once again i was right,, rhemann is gay!!

- “Seeing him like this was bewildering; Jean had foolishly believed Rhemann ceased to exist outside of Exy.” nah jean all exy coach’s actually get powered down and put onto charge post exy

- jean and rhemann: 🧑🏻‍🌾🥕👨🏻‍🌾

- “On the other was Neil’s blasé, “I’m sure he knows,” when Jean warned him to hide Andrew from Ichirou, the Trojans’ casual acceptance of their floozy line, and a partnership that somehow survived twenty-eight years in this heartless world.” STOPPPPPPPPP

- it’s easy to forget that aftg is set in the 2000s and not current, especially in these books because i don’t think they refer to it as much (neil and andrew literally use flip phones in the og books it’s hard to ignore that) until you are reminded of the rampant and virulent homophobia

- FRIENDS AND FIREWORKSSSSS

- “fathers” — jean thinking about rhemann and wymack and their unwavering kindness to him and adding fathers to his list in spite of how terrible his own dad is is something so precious. don’t play with me rn

-GOLDEN RAVEN MENTIONEDDDD

- um yeah so that’s as far as i got until i passed out only to wake back up at *checks time* 5am and find that this post didn’t save! hopefully i’ve managed to rewrite it all. onwards and upwards!!

i feel i rewrote those all with much more enthusiasm than i actually did the first time round after reading chapter 17

- unrelatedish side note but i was thinking about how their address got leaked and who it might be. i mean usually id immediately blame riko that’s the type of shit he’d do but he’s dead now soooo… do we reckon it’s a random nobody and we’ll never find out or someone close to the story? jeremy’s brother? another player?

- “Rhemann’s voice in his head, Rhemann’s and his friends’ and Neil’s, drowning out his miserable thoughts and excuses with unrelenting force.” yeah i’m grinning rn, he’s got so many people who love him and want the best for him and for him to heal

(and neil is one of them😭guys u know how i feel about neil and jean)

- “I deserve to get better.” IM CRYING AGAIN OH MY BABY U DO AND IM GLAD U REALISE IT

[maxdibert]

Agree with your last post. I'm so annoyed by people putting Pandora with Regulus, Barty and Evan or Dorcas with the Slytherin gang or idk what else. Like Pandora was Luna's mother, why are they making her to be friends with canon death eaters? Dorcas was killed by Voldemort personally, why are they making her to be so young? Idk it's making me sad that people don't even try to respect the canon story and its characters and expand upon that. Instead they completely butcher it. I understand having fun but these headcanons have completely overshadowed the correct information we have and people now pretend like they have some canon merit.

Pandora is Luna's mother, and that's all we know about her. At what point does she magically end up being the same age as the Marauders? Why turn her into a Rosier? Where did the ridiculous idea come from that she was best friends with Barty Crouch Jr.? Like, hello? She's not Luna's mother; she's just an OC someone made up to fit their narrative, and they justify her existence by saying she’ll eventually become that Pandora. End of story. Like everything they write and do. Their Marauders aren't the real Marauders. That's not James; it's some random guy they invented and slapped his name on, and the same goes for the rest of them. What even is a Dorcas Meadowes? Is that something you can eat? And what's a Marlene McKinnon? Nobody cares—they're not real characters. We don’t care about them, especially if you only include them to hit a lesbian target audience or so the stories aren’t overwhelmingly male-centered and ridiculously problematic because the female presence and relevance don’t even hit the minimum gender quotas from two decades ago, like…

They say "fuck canon," but only to have an excuse to whitewash psychopaths and portray them as twink icons. It makes no sense. I insist: they could create their own lore within the Harry Potter universe. Take all those OCs, remove the canon names of characters they have nothing in common with, give them original and unique names, and create a new category on AO3 for the lore you've created. You wouldn’t be the first to do it, and it’s totally valid. And stop setting the stories in the '70s because all those OCs with canon names act like Gen Z kids—or even Gen Alphas—living in pre-Thatcher Britain, like, what the hell?

The best thing about the First Wizarding War universe years ago was that the CANON was unexplored, and you could create fascinating things. But always based on the CANON. Because no, “fuck canon” doesn’t work, because if you say “fuck canon,” then you're just talking about characters you don’t like. You say you’re a fan of Sirius Black, but you’re not a fan of Sirius Black. You’re a fan of an original fanfic character with traits that have nothing to do with Sirius Black, but you slapped his name on it—why? Sirius Black was the tallest, most handsome, and most masculine and violent of the Marauders in canon. He wasn’t a girly, whiny twink. Rowling spends the ENTIRE saga CONSTANTLY emphasizing how masculine, how macho, how handsome, how masculine, how handsome, and (again) how masculine Sirius Black was. Over and over. The only other character Rowling insists so much on describing physically is Snape, but only to constantly point out how ugly he is and ironically assign him FEMININE traits. Snape, who is canonically unattractive but also canonically not masculine by patriarchal standards, is someone super macho types like Sirius mocked precisely for that.

I think the problem with this fandom is that they want to be the protagonists, the cool kids, the main characters everyone admires. But the reality of the canon is that both the Marauders and the pure-blood Slytherins of the era would have hated, mocked, and marginalized people with the characteristics fans assign to these characters in fandom. That Sirius the fandom adores wouldn’t have lasted half an hour with the real teenage Sirius Black, who would have bullied him immediately for being “weird.” The fandom’s James would have been ridiculed by canon James, who would’ve seen him as a total loser. Fandom Barty? Canon Barty would’ve Crucio’d him to bits. Canon Regulus would’ve paid someone to drown fandom Regulus. And yes, that Severus fandom invented—a sort of rapist or something—would’ve disgusted canon Severus, who didn’t even dare say anything to Lily. But honestly, who’s that fandom Lily? Because canon Lily didn’t know what feminism was and was dying to have a traditional family before 20 with a rich guy who could give her financial stability. Like, seriously, xD.

I’m sorry, but your OCs wouldn’t last half an hour in '70s Hogwarts because both sides would tear them to pieces. And in the end, all the “fuck canon” rhetoric is just a way to deny that they need to project themselves as protagonists, but they know they never would be in the Marauders’ lore because, in that context, they’d end up as bad or worse than Snape. And that’s precisely why they hate Snape so much—because that character constantly reminds them that, in fact, the Marauders were bullies. And they were bullies to those who didn’t have the looks, social class, appearance, or clothes deemed acceptable. Snape is actually the closest thing to themselves that fans of the Marauders will ever find, and that reminds them that in that universe, they would’ve been the nerds, losers, and outcasts of the class.

I’m sorry for being so harsh, but it’s true. They’ve invented characters in their own image, slapped canon names on them to feel important and central, but the reality is that the actual canon characters would’ve bullied them so much they’d have ended up the same or worse than Snape.

[tempestmothstorm]

ok ok so I was just going to draw long haired Sayori but then I came up with a bunch of elementaryish aged designs and now I came up with a bunch of headcanons and more sketches so woohoo lots or text under cut open for more headcanons (also idk why tumblr made the image change quality that is not the same colour or quality I had it in)

Yknow for some reason I just can’t imagine Natsuki being like a happy kid in the past like at all. I think it’s like a “kid who obviously has a bad home life and acts out because of it but nobody’s gonna to actually try to do anything about it so they just put her in detention” kinda vibe. I don’t think anyone outright hates her since she probably would have brought it up in base game/side stories, but she isn’t exactly a beloved member of the school either

In the side stories she talks about being very different in the past and specifically going through a really edgy ‘I hate everyone phase’ in middle school. This isn’t a middle school headcanon but I feel like her being kinda bitter before the total edgy phase makes sense.

I think in contrast to her having a super defined sense of self present day, Natsuki here was a lot more identityless and unsure about what she wants. She gets really into cutesy stuff in the future but here she leans a lot more into the angry side of her because she doesn’t really understand a lot of what she’s feeling. It’s why I didn’t really give her a unique hairstyle, if she had something she’d actually like I don’t think she would have changed it to the pigtails

Also her clothes are kinda bad and has a hole in her sleeve since she doesn’t really get a lot of clothes due to obligatory ~home life angst~ but this post isn’t about that so

She gets into manga pretty early but just kinda enjoys it casually on a surface level thing. She drops it for a bit before picking it back up, and suddenly understanding what plot and themes are lead to her going insane about it until present day.

She’s into skating because I said so

It also makes a great explanation for why she gets a broken arm and why she always has a bunch of bandaids :))))))))

Ok I might also just like giving character designs bandaids

Tbh I forgot if they said Natsuki’s friends met in middle school or not but I think it still applies since they probably knew her through every cringe phase she had (including the fanfics). But either way they were probably one of the few people to actually give Natsuki a chance which is part of why she puts up with their bullying so much. Throughout every phase she might have had they made fun of her every step of the way, to the point she’s just kinda used to it now. Doesn’t help that she thinks her old self was cringe, so by present day she just assumes she deserves whatever bullying she gets from them. Girl needs to have compassion for her past self. And present self tbh

While Natsuki was cringe in the ‘I hate everything’ way, Yuri was cringe in the ‘I am a massive nerd for cringe pieces of media and am going to make everyone aware of that fact’. At least that’s how they see themselves now

She’s a lot more open to talking about her interests. She can and will yap to random people with little to no prompting because she hasn’t really learned yet that people would be put off by it

She’s not overly social but more willing to chat with others with a polite and friendly attitude. She hasn’t been hurt yet so she is filled with joy and whimsy and is overall more cheerful compared to present day

She has her hair like that so I could give the vibe of ‘cheerfully annoying and/or adorable☝️🤓’ nerd archetype instead of ‘would rather become a speck of dust than talk to a person’ nerd archetype. Her hair is generally more dishevelled to show she’s more naive and less elitist I guess. She also isn’t as good at taking care of her hair yet so it looks kinda bad in a charming way(her school would not agree)

Her bangs being up with the headband shows her being more open and willing to be vulnerable to others in a way that’s lost in present day, where her long bangs hide a lot of her face in that one sprite. Her forehead is a metaphor 😭

I don’t really have parent headcanons but the cardigan is from her mom. I just think it’s cute

Random headcanons idrk where else to put but since that one act 2 sprite just borrows the teeth from Natsuki I like to think her teeth is also weirdly sharp it just doesn’t stick out as much. People think her teeth are creepy though so she tries not to smile with her teeth. She doesn’t care to smile like that anyways since she doesn’t really know how to in pictures (me projecting) and her natural smiles are a lot more subtle/don’t show teeth so it’s all fine.

Stating the obvious here but she was totally outcasted by like most of her school. Most people thought she was weird and her enthusiasm off-putting so they’d try avoiding her. She doesn’t really know why they think she’s off-putting though, people just start avoiding her for no reason. A few would go out of their way to bully her too, which ont added fuel to the iscolation fire, which ended up give her massive vulnerability and self esteem issues. Shocker ik. It takes a while to fully break her down from here to her high school self but it does mess her up a lot even then. At this specific point in time though she stills has her innocence so dw it’s fineeeeeee

Her anxiety issues are also there but she still has enough of a positive attitude to go ‘hey this sucks but maybe this time talking about my interests will work and they’ll actually like me!’ even if it didn’t work the last time. She doesn’t really know how else to talk to people so she keeps trying the same thing hoping maybe this time it’ll work out.

Uh.

things get worse. you probably know that

Sayori still the sillyyyyy

But tbh she probably changes the least compared to present day. I mean she gets more mature and less starry eyed but her mask is basically the same as her kid self. I don’t have as much to say on that specifically cause compared to the rest she doesn’t change that much

Yeah Understanding said she used to have long hair but cut it since she couldn’t really take care of it. I feel like even before the depression got worse she sucked at taking care of it because she has the self proclaimed attention span of a donut. Her hair is really scruffy and if you tried to comb it would probably hurt a lot. So she doesn’t ever

Her and mc are still the the goofy-goober and straight man dynamic they have in base game. Sayori drags mc into some shenanigans and mc tries to help her get out of trouble. He also has less of an ‘I don’t want to be seen with this cringe’ attitude he has a bit of in the base game since he isn’t as concerned with reputation because he’s like 7, so he’s more open with being directly nice to her. He acts a lot more genuinely with their friendship overall compared present day where he finds it a lot harder to earnestly share his appreciation of Sayori as a cool sigma male

A lot of their banter is light hearted, but Sayori doesn’t start interpreting his teasing for actual criticism of her character until a little later into their relationship. His jokes probably hurt more in hindsight when they do end up drifting apart because his lighthearted jokes stated feeling more real.

It’s sorta implied in side stories that there was a point where everyone found out about her depression and was worried constantly about her. It probably was from an old friend group considering nobody else seems to know about it, but I feel like mc drifted apart before that considering he doesn’t know. I think they became friends again by sides stories, but considering he doesn’t act like he’s as concerned for her well-being as he is by the end of act one, he probably wasn’t there when everyone else found out and therefore doesn’t know about the depression here either. Idk though side stories have different continuity apparently so who knows maybe that never happened or maybe he’s just stupid

Yeah of course she still has depression here. It probably got worse over time though since I feel like her constant silly oblivious persona would have came from somewhere. She is naturally pretty upbeat, it’s just that she had to lie more over time in order to keep that idea going. Now she feels like that old her is basically dead, with her just masquerading as someone who isn’t there anymore.

She’s like the only one here who has a positive opinion of her past self, to the point where she actively wants to go back and be that person. In a way she still is that little kid, but at the same time things can never go back to how they were. Uh yeah but she still hates herself so I guess no one gets to reap the rewards of caring for their past self.

She also trips constantly. I don’t think it’s that surprising

Since Monika has the least specific info on her past I got to be a bit silly about it and make up as much as I wanted.

She is like completely different from her present self. Similar to Natsuki she’s also sorta identityless but in a weird quiet gifted kid sorta way instead of an angry lost child sorta way.

She’s pretty quiet and doesn’t talk much. With a pretty expressionless face and more deadpan voice she kinda gives creepy horror movie child vibes but the type of child that appears before the horror actually starts (which is to say not actually scary but just kinda weird) (I just realized a lot of this is just me projecting what I was like as a kid but with less prep energy)

Yeah she’s extroverted but at this point she doesn’t really seek out people until she starts actively trying to boost her image

She doesn’t really have many hobbies outside of being a teacher pet and if it weren’t for her stellar grades she totally would of been bullied, but she’s nice enough to help people study so she’s safe

She isn’t really the most popular in school until high school. She does start out as the token prodigy gifted kid so everyone expected her to excel in everything so on a whim she’s like ‘ok guess I’m doing everything now’ and it’s totally not going to alter the course of her life forever

She likes the validation and wants to live up to the expectations so she starts leaning super hard into the perfect image. She gradually starts joining clubs, getting cool achievements, studying for those straight A+ grades, talking to people and networking, and overall changing her image from quiet kid to strong confidence friendly student who’s going to go far. Awesome

She kinda had to train herself to not be weird creepy child and would practice smiling, facial expressions, being more sociable, talking less deadpan, etc. She has a lot of “fake it till you make it” vibes in the side stories to the point I don’t think she even realizes she’s doing it. I imagine her going from weird little kid to most popular high schooler around was like wearing the mask until it became the real thing.

Tbh this whole design started because I really like the headcanon design of her bangs covering her eyes. And then I gave her a stripped shirt because it felt generic but also not boring but it ended up making her look like one of the seven human souls lol

Honestly if I could describe her vibe here in one sentence it would be utdr protagonist but like in prep school

ok that’s it idrk how to end this but thanks for watching hit the like and subscribe and

[ezra-editss]

Just watched X-men Apocalypse. What the hell.

Okay, so I kinda have a take on all this and idk if that's just how it feels to me, but that's what I wanna know. (I don't think this actually happened, but it's the vibes it is all giving)

So it started when I told my mom about First Class (keep reading I'm gonna get to apocalypse eventually) and we came to the conclusion that it feels like they wrote the script, looked at it again and thought:

"Hmm, this seems pretty gay.. Erik and Charles both have no female love interests and they have those lines that seem pretty romantic. Also, Erik seems almost obsessed with Charles at the end with how overprotective he is. Let's fix that!"

And then they gave both of them a kiss with a woman they weren't interested in and added the line "We're brothers, you and I" and then were proud of how well they "saved" it.

And then they made Days of Future Past and didn't even think of it, but when it came out they saw how people were shipping it and then they were like "oh shitt"

And in the first hour of the movie, I thought they were just doing all of this stuff to "erase" any potential gayness people thought there was and wanted to make sure nobody got the wrong idea about the recent movies. But it was more the reminder they like women, before the EXTREME GAYNESS in the second half.

(This is getting so much more unserious than initially intended💀)

Anyways, Apocalypse.

Either I missed something or Erik settling down and HIDING makes NO SENSE. In the last timeline it was 100% clear that he'd never stop believing in what he did, he would never stop fighting his war. So yes, this is a different timeline, but there is no reason given why he suddenly decides to try Charles way. He failed in Days of Future Past and Charles let him go, but there is no way that's enough. And they played this off like that isn't the thing they both wanted since forever and never seemed possible. Being on the same side. Erik switching to Charles side is insane, why wouldn't he talk to Charles in all those years then?

I can't believe they threw away everything that IS Erik, just so he had a reason to be angry enough to join the guy.

(They also died in such a weird/lame way)

And Charles and I still don't really know her name😭.. I have to admit the scenes where Charles was nervous were cute, but that's just because Charles is adorable. But in First Class she was obviously only there for the plot, in Days of Future Past, she wasn't even mentioned and in Apocalypse, she was, again, only there for the plot. She literally doesn't say anything the entire movie after the beginning. She has like two lines. And in the end fight, she's just standing there. And then Charles makes her remember and the flashbacks are soo bad, BC THEY HAD NO MOMENTS. (Especially bc you can compare it to Erik's flashbacks, we're gonna get to that)

(I don't think I have to say it, but to be sure. I have absolutely nothing against straight couples. I don't care if it's gay or not. But if one of them were a woman, I wouldn't be writing this. I just hate how often they prefer to write a heterosexual couple that has no chemistry at all instead of making the two guys/girls kiss.)

Let's talk about the ending. Sometimes when I talk about this stuff I'm a little worried that I interpret things wrong bc I want it to be like that and I'm not being objective anymore, but I was proven right so many times in this. When Mystique and Erik kissed in First Class, it felt really weird to me because Erik obviously had no interest in her. (I suppose it was to show her she's beautiful) And that was pretty much proven right when she talks to him and he barely reacts to what she's saying. I also thought that he probably didn't know Charles was dying, bc he wouldn't let that happen. Then Mystique says "Charles" and suddenly he does show a reaction and when she's gone, he has those god damn flashbacks. WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIS ISN'T A ROMANTIC PLOT?😭 and then the specific one of Charles turning away and leaving him. (Could be a metaphor for Charles giving up on him) THAT'S WHAT GOT HIM.

And they make it even more clear when Mystique is dying and Erik doesn't react, but when Charles is dying, is when he steps in.

Ending was cute, but damnn the "you can make me do anything" was crazy.

(This turned out soo long, I've never been so obsessed with something.)

[carmillas-vampiric-rage]

mk1 khaos reigns spoilers under the cut

okay. first of all. I LOVE how Bi-Han focused KR was, like i was literally jumping up and down and screaming like my man was in almost every scene YESSSSS!!!

I'm also s o fucking relieved (you literally have no idea) that we got Bi-Han back so quickly, I was so worried he'd remain Noob Saibot forever. Like I nearly started sobbing.

also, sad pathetic puppy Bi-Han shsjsjssj he's so cute

he literally looks so upset and cute uggh i can't stand him.

idc what anyone says, him and Sektor are so freaking cute!!! I can't even express to you how I almost imploded when they touched foreheads (Kauai Liang judging in the background 😭😭)

I can't even begin to express how beautiful it is that someone unconditionally loves this piece of shit bastard. She pushed for them to bring him back to Earthrealm so he could be healed. She was set on finding him and bringing him back from the beginning. just uggh. I know Bi-Han is a complete and utter dick who seriously needs his ass beat- but nobody cares for him. His brothers understandably hate him and everyone else has a level of dislike for him- but Sektor is the only one who truly loves him, and sees his vision. Like yesss queen both of us would be behind this man full stop. 😭😭😭😭😭

my only complaint is we didn't get enough Kitana. like hello??? She should have played a way bigger part!! Have her come along with them to Khaos Realm!!!!!

But the few scenes she was in, she slayed. I love how she moves her hands when she talks uggh!! I just love her so freaking much.

i know some peeps are disappointed with the storymode and everything and I understand that, but personally I loved it. I've only been involved with MK1 so maybe that's why some of the changes and additions and stuff don't bother me idk.

But anyway I'm gonna sit in my own tears for three to four business days and try not to think about Bi-Han and how cute and adorable he is and how I wanna slap him in the face for ruining Kuai Liang and Harumi's wedding omfg.

Also every single person in this photo ate. no crumbs. BI-HANNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!! just wish Kitana and Mileena were there too

[mrcrawly]

my actual genuine critiques of The Walking Dead

hey im about to watch TWD series finale and had some things i wanted to talk about here! also disclaimer, i think TWD is a fantastic show. there's not many shows i can say ive avidly watched for eleven straight seasons and not been bored by (i abandoned Supernatural after season 7). it's one of the most famous shows in cable history for a reason! but there are some things i thought were weird or just...? never brought up again? also, i have not watched ANY of the spinoffs yet, so if any of these are addressed in another series, lmk!

idk if ill get flamed for this but i did not like how Michonne was written. this is NOT me saying i didn't like Michonne, i adore her and she's a good character. but i don't feel that they developed who she was prior to the apocalypse enough. what details were given felt thrown-in and weren't very fleshed out. a lot of her significance is entirely tied to Rick and their relationship. i don't even remember if they gave her a last name. this is excusable for some characters who are mostly supporting cast members, but Michonne is a MAIN character. like guys. idk maybe some things just got lost in translation?

im not super critical of this one, but i wish they had fleshed out the significance of Daryl and Leah's relationship a little more. it felt like he moved on from that a little fast. like that is the ONLY real romantic relationship he's ever had and once he killed her it was just... done. idk it felt a little one-and-done to me

i just generally want to see more of RJ? why does no one ever talk about RJ? his momma disappeared and they just stopped caring about him like guys Where Is He

again, im not very critical of this one because Annie was introduced in the last half of the last season, so that's not a lot of time for... anything, but like, i didn't fully understand where she came from or when Negan met her. it's possible that i just got confused because of all the time skips that happened in s11 but . when did you meet her and how did you get married and pregnant this fast. but maybe a detail got lost in translation for me?

PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHY DID DARYL DANCE AROUND CONNIE like i just DO NOT understand what the purpose of EXPLICITLY stating that Daryl wanted her just for Nothing to happen. like im not sure what the point was. and why not? the ONE healthy relationship that he's been offered this whole time? like Hello?

i AM critical of this one: WHY did nobody mourn Tara?? or Enid? like the only person who mourned Enid was Alden and then he fucking Died? like i understand the big thing was Henry and yes that one hit me the hardest, but we moved on from Tara's death REALLY REALLY fast. like insanely fast. what are we talking about.

more minor thing but i wish Daryl and Carl had more screentime together when Carl was still alive ☹️

i never got the chance to care about Siddiq. like i was excited to get a new character and the fact that Carl had sacrificed SO much to help him (literally his own life) but genuinely he lasted what? a season and a half if that? yes he was the doctor and Rosita's baby daddy but. he was just the doctor and Rosita's baby daddy. and then he DIED and we moved on really fast! why??

ok that's all i got for you!! if any of this is just because I missed some major details somehow then tell me, maybe i need to rewatch?? idk

[noeggets]

making a post about Tails and Belle because i honestly thought she was gonna be his new love interest, someone once told me they dont think Tails could have another one but i feel like it isn't far fetched considering they allowed Cosmo and she is kinda canon and they allowed Boom!Tails to have one as well. Tails isn't the protagonist he's a supporting role so if Rouge can have a crush on Knuckles it isn't too far out there that Belle could like Tails or Tails could have a crush on her, she is tech afterall and that peaks his interest alot about her.

Here are a lot of moments between them i thought were cute

Tails often goes to hold her hands alot and she's very :) about it

she's a little distance about them at first, and Sonic is very protective about Tails here i love it

Again, but this time she had just pushed him out of the way a second time saving him from getting trapped they are adorable look at them

Sonic is not about this life, he doesn't want anything to do with her lol not with my lil bro your not

smug

Sonic thought she was gonna leave but he's come around to the idea of her staying, Tails is praising her

Tails outright asking her to stay with him as his assistant, this isn't about her being a help she's just so glad somebody wants her around for once

Belle values what he's done for her, he's given her a place to stay and a job to do, thats a big thing for a robot

he's not gonna be pushy about this, he knows this is hard for her to talk about

Excited to introduce his new friend :)

being the only one saying bye to her

saying "We" instead of "I" including her in helping fix things after fixing her hand for her

Taking a interest in her ideas and dreams of making badniks good

CONCERN

Tails wasn't afraid she would hit him, he didn't even care but Sonic cared, Sonic still seems to be slightly worried about that fact she's technically a badnik, IDK why Sonic's always there to 3rd wheel lol

Belle's life is a really thought one, between getting stolen by Starline and pouring her heart out to somebody who's not even listening nor cares too much about her struggles, being disowned by Eggman, slapped by Metal sonic HER BROTHER Belle's life is really tough and i think she deserves Tails as someone in her life who will be there for her, she's got friends like Tangle,Whisper Amy others but nobody is doing it like Tails and also Vector

that's her father, she's part of the Chaotix now bc this scene

[idontactuallywherepjs]

pt.3 BOOK 2!!!!

Halt is a Dad. He is such a Dad. I loved him in this book. Sending Will away on a "safe" mission (honey, you've got a big storm coming) so he can relax even in a time of war and regain trust in himself is so sweet.

He was so like, idk loving? when talking to Gilan about this mission. The vibe to me was just "I'm proud of you and trust you, you have nothing to worry about. I've seen what you've become and know you can do this"

All three of them ribbing on each other when Gilan first arrives, they're so comfy with each other!

Also recommending Horace in part because he's Will's friend and he wants to let these kids just, be kids together? I have cavities.

And THEN. They've gone on the mission. His two boys are out of the house, off on a journey and he's stuck in Araluen. And he's coping. He's coping in a very healthy and normal manner.

He's coping by throwing people into moats. Hilarious.

Arald, Rhodney and Lady Pauline put their heads together, figure out that it's empty nest syndrome, and decide to shove a happy child who needs a little bit of reassurance in his general direction: Alyss.

They think this will solve him chucking people into moats.

She tells him to do it again. Beautiful, this is so fun. Half the time they're on this mini journey Halt's thinking about Will. It's great.

I have a lot of feelings for this family can you tell?

The romance is clunky. That's like my big negative for this book. Alyss declaring when she was young that she was going to marry Will? Very cute. Her telling his dad that? Why? that's my only complaint with it why would she tell him that?

Also everyone being hung up on Pauline and Halt maybe being a thing in the past? It wasn't really confirmed, heavily implied maybe, and I think that two people who are dedicated to their jobs drifting apart and ending a relationship, then years later getting back together as they've both grown and missed the other person in that way and coming out of it stronger is a super sweet story. It'd be adorable. But it's like, thrown in there by other characters? and it's out of place almost? especially since their country just entered war?

I had a similar problem with the kiss in book one. Objectively? very sweet, i didn't mind it. But their was a lack of build up that made it a bit shoehorned in? It was a lot more obvious in this book though.

Thankfully, we don't spend all that much time on the romance subplots because those were not working at this moment.

I was very surprised when the war kicked off immediately. I was expecting it to build for at least a few books, and it to take like six to get sorted or something, but no. We're just in it now.

It didn't feel too sudden though. It felt very much like this was something Morgarath had set up over that past fifteen years, and the events of the story only started because He was finally ready, not because our heroes were ready to confront him.

I like that. He wasn't dragged out as the ultimate evil of the world, nobody can stop him except these young upstarts. He's a warlord, and he's acting like it. He didn't have much of a character, just a menacing presence for our protagonists to shiver at, but he did serve the story well.

pt 4 incoming super fast, that one will focus on the goings on in Celtica, and then pt 5 should be focusing more on the end of the book. I had a lot more to gush about in book 2 then i thought.

[dootznbootz]

what are ur fave fanfic characterisations of penelope if any??

Okay, so like, in general. I'm so desperate for fics that are about Pen in general. I'll take really any sort of flawed and deeply characterized silly lady. give me headcanons about her that have nothing to do with Odysseus or Helen or Telemachus and I'll bake you cookies. (favorite color, mannerisms she has, phobias, scars, etc.)

So like, I'll take anything that just...really goes full throttle on HER characterization. like if she's quiet and thoughtful or the Chaos gremlin I see her as, as long as people show care and headcanons and go to delve into who she is as well, I'm happy. To me, I see OdyPen as "likeminded" and therefore, anything he would do? Yeah, she'd do it too. Both are smart and stupid at the same time. That's like, my ultimate fave characterization for her. I love my chaotic lil gremlin Water Woman and her equally chaotic gremlin husband.

That's my favorite. Hands down. I think it's so much fun when characterizing them both is to test out if "hey, would the other do that too?" while writing and working to be consistent with that :3

But as I said, I'm just desperate for Penelope stuff in general. and thankfully, just like Odysseus, (likeminded) she is also a "woman of many twists and turns" lol. There's a lot of different ways she is in the Odyssey. :) like it's honestly become my goal to have more things about Penelope in my writing than Odysseus to make up for others just...ignoring her. ;~;

Anything that has Penelope as "more than wife and mother" is fantastic. I've seen way too many basically place Penelope as this "Oh she's what Odysseus longs for!" and never go into WHY and/or about HER. Like, Odysseus loves his wife, absolutely fucking adores her. But there's a REASON why and that's because she's FUN.

Like fics with her being someone outside of what she is for Odysseus. as while I like OdyPen. I fucking adore it actually. I really hate seeing her as a prop for him. I mean my two fics that are up now are both OdyPen but I almost like, have Odysseus be the "secondary character" or like, "it's not about him. it may be his pov for some but It's about Pen, she's sick and stubborn and we're trying to take care of her". And even then, like with the sickfic, I wanted to show her being messy and imperfect and a persoonnnnn

I've found a few fics that have fun with her, but not as many as I'd like ;~; (those who do I love you)

and I mean anything. like, about her past, her siblings and parents, her feelings about motherhood, about Anticlea and Laertes, etc.

like an example I can think of, is when someone mentioned to me that their Penelope "always felt like she was in Helen's shadow". WHICH FANTASTIC!!! GREAT START!!!

But go into why and how exactly that takes form. :)

Is she grateful for Helen taking a lot of the attention? Feeling safer or a bit shyer and wishing to be left alone? Is she a bit scared with what happened with Theseus and Helen happening to her? Was she planning to be a Priestess of Athena before she married Odysseus?

Or was it something that bothered her? Made her feel "lesser than"? Did she resent Helen because of it? Did she WANT to be in the spotlight more? was she angry? etc.

lots of fics about her comforting Odysseus. understandable. but what about her? Does she wake up with nightmares? Thinking it was all a dream? Fear of the Suitors? etc. They are partners and will take care of each other.

stuff like that? What about cute moments of her being a mom to Telemachus? her and Anticlea weaving? etc. etc.

I always get a bit saddened when I'll talk to folks and they don't ever wanna go DEEPER about Penelope, but will about...practically anyone else... :') idk, it feels a bit like loving a doll that nobody else wants to play with? (some ofc, and I love you all who do.) and idk, gets a bit lonely playing with her and no one else wants to.

I mean, we have near nothing on Polites. (one line in the Odyssey) and people still have his past alllllllllll laid out. :/

I feel like some folks like "#odypen" more than they like "#Penelope" :/

Lil vent but I really don't like when fics (memes are fine. memes are fun) have this sort of "Penelope with her manchild husband Odysseus on a leash to keep him from being stupid" AKA the very same man who lead armies, is a king, came up with the Trojan Horse, etc. apparently needs his wife to act more like his mother and be like "nuh uh, no no Odysseus. No crime. Don't do that." as if she wasn't praying that the suitors died everyday and wasn't scamming people in the Odyssey

Sorry to go off on a vent in general, Dear Anon. But oof...Been a wee bit sad about it lately ;~;

[m1ssunderstanding]

Get Back Rewatch 55 Years On: Day 14

Who is this talking to Ringo? Press? A boy scruff? Someone who wants their project produced by Apple? He tries George too.

Again, I love the "freak-out" as John calls it. They really could've had so much fun together under different circumstances. (Different being neither of them ever dated John) But John's so sweet saying, "Id like it to be part of her new LP. Our new LP."

I wonder what Robert Fraser thought of the beard.

Why are we playing 20 Flight Rock now, Paul? It's just overlayed over a montage to change "scenes", but I wonder what the real context was.

Billy. What a little ray of sunshine honestly.

"So what should we do that's fun? Besides work?" I feel like every day, John has a little adorable quote, and this is today's. Words to live by.

I don't remember if Get Back includes the "Oh Darling" version where John's answering back between lines in conversation with the lyrics. I sincerely hope so. Peter Jackson was probably like "well I can only include so much homosexuality before people have too many questions."

Ringo, you smooth criminal. I love that he just has this trick he learned as a teenager that the Beatles were all impressed by, back when Ringo was the scary gangster with the car and the beard, and he still does it for them like ten years later. It's so endearing.

Another cute John and Yoko moment: "It's just that screaming all the way." "Poor John." "Yes, it's so terrible." She's teasing him and being sweet to him at the same time. Cuties.

George asks Paul where his Rickenbacker is. "Isn't that one much better?" And Paul makes up some shit about the Hoffner being lighter. You nostalgic little bitch. Poor baby.

John's little guilty look at the camera when he's almost just taken something on film. It's cute. He looks like a naughty kid. But it's kind of a cool moment. It shows just how relaxed and natural he is. He's not performing for or worried about the cameras at all. What we're seeing of him today is just him. You know? Idk I think it's nice.

What's with the little pigeon noises in the middle of a recording, guys? They're so weird smh

Poor Glyn. He's just trying to do his job and he has to deal with fucking Leopold and Leob over here. He gives them some instruction. There's a look between the two of them. And then it's all, "Don't interrupt" "Hey son" "Stahhs when" "Hey" "they're recording. We're bloody Stahhs you know." "Look fuckface. Don't comment." "The cheek." The impenetrable wall of Lennon and McCartney, folks.

"Well, we'll have to do it sitting down. Or we get too excited." It's heartbreaking to me how obvious it is that they're still just having the absolute time of their lives together and that, as John put it, "the minutes are crumbling away."

Literally what the hell is with Dennis smacking Paul's ass (as like a 'good job, your band wants to put your song out as the single' I guess) and nobody reacting? Linda would've been like "ope, time to find a new head of Apple films." (Dave Spinoza on RAM, anyone?) He really does look so proud of himself, though. Happy for you, baby.

Oh, right, that's what Robert thinks. Paul looks like his working class fantasy. (DH Lawrence. Victorian Miner.)

And I'm just going to add this, since Peter Jackson REFUSES. Paul: Can't afford to mess around here, you know. Then

[austinslounge]

why not be with someone you care about though? It’s not as if Austin would have a difficult time finding someone who actually adores him. Unless he has someone that we don’t know about on the side that he actually cares about.

Idk about Austin's private life other than what we see out in the open.

Wrt your question though -- Think about this for a second. This is just a thought.

Austin was in an almost 9-year relationship with a woman that he loved very much, and who was the most serious (and longest) relationship he's had in his adult life so far. Austin and Vanessa were practically married rofl 🤣, and in some states, they may have even been viewed as a common law marriage. When they broke up, it was shocking (tbh), and one of the reasons I think they may have gone their separate ways is because Vanessa may have been coming to a stage of her life where she really wanted to settle down and start having kids (which is totally normal and understandable), and Austin just wasn't ready for that at that time, and/or perhaps wanted to get his career in order first before settling down with someone. They were discussing marriage before their breakup, so it's obviously smthg that they were both considering.

No matter what V stans on Twitter or random people online say, I think both Vanessa and Austin were both hurt by the breakup. Anytime you have been with someone for that long, it's going to hurt when you go through a breakup with them, because this was someone you loved, someone you shared your deep thoughts and feelings with, and (in Austin & Vanessa's case) someone who went through the toughest moments of the death of a parent with you and were there for you during those difficult times. 😔 Even if you know that a breakup was for the best, it still hurts.

Idc what anyone says, that breakup hurt Austin too. He doesn't have a heart of stone, and we all saw how happy and how comfortable (at least in public) he looked with her. So nobody can convince me that he wasn't hurt by their breakup too.

We all know the rebounding he did after the breakup. It's normal.

My thought is: I've been wondering if maybe due to what he went through with Vanessa and how painful it was that he wasn't able to be "the one" for her or who she wanted him to be (her husband), that Austin may have decided that the next "serious" relationship he got into with a woman, he would make sure that it wasn't someone that he wanted to be super serious with, and he wouldn't be with someone who would want kids and marriage right now so as not to hurt the person or go through pain himself.

Right now, Austin's main priority seems to be his career. That's not to say that he doesn't ever want marriage or kids one day (he's never talked about those things, so we really don't know for sure), but it might just mean that he doesn't necessarily want those things right now.

Again, this is just a theory, not fact.

[aquamarinebich]

OMG THOSE EPS--- I HAVE SO MANY EMOTIONS I CANT---

HAZBIN HOTEL EP 7-8 SPOILERS WARNING‼️

Okay so Charlie actually didnt forget Vaggie for lying for that long, which is understandable, really.

So Charlie ACTUALLY MADE A DEAL WITH ALASTOR NO MATTER HOW MUCH TIMES VAGGIE TOLD HER NOT TO.

Rosie is really sweet lady, but im not really vibing her voice

But i really DO vibe the cannibals. They all have this cool aesthetic n i really love that!

Carmillas n Vaggies song was also really good!

Also when Vaggies wings SUDDENLY N OUT OF NOWHERE came out i was like: OKAAAAAYY... IM NOT SURE WHY BUT GO OFF IG!!

ALSO OMG THIS SONG WHERE CHARLIE IS TRYING TO BRING CANNIBALS ON HER SIDE WAS SO COOL, ESPECIALLY THE END PART THAT WAS IN DA TRAILER, ITS SO COOL JSHSBSJSJ

Also they so cute n silly, I love em

AND AWWW THEY ALL GOT ALONG N BECOME FRIENDS 😭😭😭😭 I JUST KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN IN THE NEXT EP N THIS MAKES IT LOOK SO SAD 😭😭😭😭😭😭

the 8th ep...

OMG VOX IS BACK HIIIIIII!!!!!!! I MISSED U SO MUCHHH

AWWW NIFTY DID THIS LIL THINGY FOR ALASTOR ITS SO CUTE

Also can we talk bout how Charlie n Vaggie FINALLY KISSED??? I CANT IMMA JUST----

Im really so glad that Alastor is actually protecting the hotel and all people in it, hes probably doing it just because he have no choice, but i really hope that he do care about Charlie n everyone else. Also their fighting outfits is really cool. AND THE ANIMATIONS WHEN HE TOOK HIS DEMON FORM WAS SOOOO COOL, IT WAS LIKE IN 3D (maybe it actually was in 3d idk-)

Okay yknow.. When Adam blasted (idk if thats a correct word for that) at Alastor n broke his michrophone and Als voice became so clear, like, without any radio effects, I actually thought that he lost all his abilities, cuz Adam is clearly stronger than Al, and i got so scared becuz that would mean that he wont be able to protect the hotel anymore and maybe even die... But it didnt happen so its all good!!

Also Vox watching this whole fight being so exited for Als death was kinda funny to watch.

Okay.... I dont wanna cry again so can i not talk about sir Pentious? Thank you. All i gotta say, I really happy he managed to confess his feelings to Cherri before he... yknow...

Also Charlie FINALLY TOOK HER FULL DEMON FORM. N I ACTUALLY WAS NOT EXPECTIN RAZZLE N DAZZLE TO BE A GIANT DRAGONS THAT WAS SO COOL without thinking that one of them died...

Also i immediatly thought that sparing Lute was a mistake. Guess what? IT WAS!! :DDDDDD

ALSO I THROUGH THIS WHOLE FIGHT WAS REALLY HOPING THAT LUCI WILL COME OUT N SLAUGHT ALL THOSE BITHES FOR GOOD. N HE DID!!! I LITERALLY, ALL IN TEARS AFTER SR PENTIOUS' DEATH, WAS SO HAPPY I WAS LIKE: FUCKING FUCK YESSS!!! KILL THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS!!! '!!'! '! ₽!! 3!&!& ALSO I ADORE THE FACT THAT EVEN IN A FIGHT HES SUCH A SILLY CUTIE PATOOTIE.

And we saw his demon form n its really cool!

ALSO I WAS SO ANGRY WHEN CHARLIE MADE LUCI SPARE ADAM LIKE-- PLS LUCI KILL HIM N LUTE, THEY CLEARLY DONT DESERVE TO LIVE. Also we saw Adams real face which is kinda cool.

ADN MY GIRL NIFFTY DID ALL THE JOB HERSELF, LIKE GOOD JOB GURL! I KHEW WE CAN COUNT ON U.

Okay, at 1st ep i was not sure bout Katies new voice, cuz it clearly was hearable that its a mans voice, but in this ep its actually working! I absolutely loved this: «Nobody gives a shit about you, Tom!» xd

Ok so.... Ill try not to scream... khem- THEYRE CANNON!!!! THEYRE!!! FUCKING!!! CANNON!!!!! IM SO HAPPY U CANT EVEN UNDERSTAND!!!!!!! I FUCKING KHEW THAT THEYLL BE CANNON, IM A FUCKING GENIUS IDC. IK THERE WILL BE SOME PPL THAT WILL BE LIKE: "nOoO tHeY rE nOt cAnNoN iTs pRoBaBlY mIsAnDerStOoDinG....." YOU KNOW WHAT? FUCK YOU. THEY ARE CANNON, I DONT GIVE A SHIT!!!! FUCK U IF U THINK THEYRE NOT TOGETHER

JUST LOOK AT THEM THEYRE SO CUTE AAAAAA

Also this last part of the song with Alastor was so strange. Yk english is not my first language so i probably missed alot what he said in that, but i clearly remember that he said something bout his wings n i was like WHAAAAT????? I know i probably just heard it wrong, cuz HE JUST CANT BE AN ANGEL RIGHT?... RIGHT??? He also said smt bout his freedom, so yeah, I think the wings was just a metaphor. But overall he looked really scared for some reason, which is actually so weird. Its so weird to see Alastor actually being scared..

ALSO WE FINALLY SAW LILITH, but sadly didnt hear her voice. N what is weird, it looked like she was on sorta vacathion, and Lute talked with her bout Adam being Killed AND THATS SO WEIRD AHHH I CANT WAIT TO FIND OUT WHAT IS HER ROLE IN ALL HERE!!

ALSO CAN WE TALK ABOUT THAT CHARLIE WAS RIGHT?? SINNERS CAN BE REDEEMED. CUZ PENTIOUS APPEARED IN HEAVEN AFTER HIS DEATH (n im really-really happy for him actually, im so glad that he didnt dissapear from the show, cuz he actually was my fav character in the pilot)

aoisjdjdjndndnns i cant wait for season 2!!!! Ig that the main antogonists in this season will finally be VEES?? OHHH IM SO EXITEDDDD

My review/thoughts on eps 1-2

My review/thoughts on eps 3-4

My review/thoughts on eps 5-6

[felikatze]

actually yeah. dowed verily does need a redemption arc. i just put her there because the spoiled bitch princess is Such A Staple of the Betrayed By The Hero's Party types. but there's never really much attempt to give her depth or motive. what's her aim in putting down the protagonist? what does she stand to gain from this? does she want the hero's favor, if yes, why? does she personally hate the protag, if yes, why?

especially since i'm now yknow, also more actively thinking abt how utterly Fucked "everyone gets given an rpg job title by the gods" is as like, a setting (which the [TO ME] heavy hitter "Banished from the Hero's Party, I Decided to Live a Quiet Life in the Countryside" actually also explores in how much the chosen hero fucking hates being the chosen hero)

i could like keep watching Shield Hero to find out if it ever does anything interesting with Malty as a character but also i don't want to keep watching Shield Hero because the levels of waifubait are inhospitable to me. you fucking know what i mean god it's gross.

hrgrh. Princess Chosen By The Gods and Beloved By All who sees the holy hero and maybe thinks she's found someone like her. Someone who is so untouchable that they are utterly alone in being adored. Nobody who sees them as a person beyond a symbol. And if only she had the opportunity to talk to him. Get to know him. Find kinship with him. If only....

Anyways, what I'm saying is, trying to kick out Corvirus is an excuse to get to Emmerich's side and if i ever rewrite it, everyone's gonna have a nice long talk about why she thought this was a good idea and then she gets to be the sixth party member. God Bless.

maybe also like. idk. change her name and get gender about it because i will admit to essentially just naming her "big tits". she can trans her gender like me, marth

[eco-lite]

Finally finished volume 4! Here are my many, many thoughts:

“???”

* Holy shit, Seigi, you have got it so bad for Richard. I’m begging you, please do some self-analysis!

* Noooo not the pomegranate tree that represents Seigi and Richard’s relationshippp. 😫😫😫

* I feel like Richard’s last advice to Seigi was actually for himself.

* Seigi refusing to drink tea with Saul from the cups he and Richard would use. 😢 The pining is so strong.

* HE SAID IT. 👁️

* “Just because I spend every waking moment thinking about him, just because my heart skips a beat every time I lay eyes on his face, just because I’m having dreams about him kissing me every night, it doesn’t mean I’m in love with him” (21). JESUS FUCKING CHRIST.

* “‘Now, tell me, what happens to a young man flying on the wings of romantic dreams when he slams into the cold hard wall of reality? His delicate shell smashes into a million little pieces, scattering his contents every which way, just like an egg thrown against concrete!’” (22). I think Saul is talking about both Seigi and Richard here.

* “Was I being an emotional two-timing bastard without even realizing it?” (33). Lol kinda.

* Badass!Seigi let’s gooooo!

* You are absolutely not giving up, Seigi! Now is the time to take Richard’s advice that was so bad about Tanimoto but so good in this situation. Go to him!

* Tanimoto is actually really emotionally intelligent. I adore this scene between her and Seigi. Seigi really just needed to talk through his feelings, huh?

* So Seigi can admit to Saul that he loves Richard, but can’t admit to himself that it’s in a romantic way. I agree that the lines between friendship and romance can get blurry—I’ve experienced it myself—but everything Seigi is saying about his feelings since Richard left him are so romance coded. Like, clearly Tsujimura wants us to think Seigi is in love with him.

* Please please can Seigi call Richard an idiot to his face? I need to see his expression.

“The Secret of Alexandrite”

* I don’t trust anyone who uses the word “brouhaha” unironically… Or who talks and talks and talks without letting the other person say more than a single sentence. Or calls England the land of Harry Potter. 🤮

* Richard’s father is an entomologist. 🙂 Let’s go bugs! 🙂

* I’m pretty surprised that Seigi explains his Richard kissing dream so plainly to Jeffrey.

* “Was even death not enough to quell the fury of the xenophobic seventh Earl of Claremont?” (103). Oh Seigi, my sweet naïve child. Nobody is as xenophobic as the British aristocracy. “‘It’s an iron-clad wall of bigotry’” (106). HA.

* “It didn’t seem to have occurred to him that the four years Richard had spent ‘running away’ was really just ‘moving’ and ‘having a career’” (115). Idk why I find this so funny. It’s not even sarcastic—it’s just facts.

* Frankly, fuck you, Jeffrey. It’s been a while since I watched the anime, but I remember Jeffrey being a lot more goofy and sympathetic than this. Either they toned him down for the show or I had severe fandom brain. (Okay, I forgot he was just trying to protect Henry, but he’s still an ass!)

* “He was looking at me with an expression of pure joy. It was the same look you’d give a beloved pet when you’re thinking, ‘Man, what a stupid little guy you are’” (130). Lol I have made this face many times at my dog. Love her so much!

“Follow the Lapis Lazuli”

* Richard leaving secret notes and showing up at the museum in drag is so iconic. What a drama queen.

* Me whenever Richard calls Seigi “my knight in shining armor”: 😳😳😳

* Nurse!Richard unlocked

* Richard hugging Seigi and squeezing him till it hurts 🥲

* “Richard enunciated the two-word idiom with the precision of a vocabulary exercise. I don’t think I’d ever heard someone say ‘Eat shit,’ with such clear and perfect intonation. He put his whole body into that one” (161). Richard, I love you so much for this. The way this paragraph was translated too, is just so hilarious.

* Wow, I’m getting really emotional about Richard taking care of Seigi like this. Please can somebody do this for me?

* Richard’s violent responses to boys confessing their romantic attraction to him is interesting. Although Richard never directly says that he’s bi, he doesn’t shut down the idea that he could be attracted to a man. But I feel like that conclusion has come after a lot of struggle with internalized homophobia. The British aristocracy is not known for being accepting of queerness, and since we know what a racist shit bag Richard’s great-grandfather was, I doubt his family had a history of accepting other forms of difference. Richard says he’s struggled with the boundaries of friendship. Maybe because he did feel romantic attraction to those friends. But he ended up lashing out once the other boy would acknowledge the romantic nature of his actions, because he couldn’t accept that he was also attracted to these boys. That would be wrong. I think it’s only once he distanced himself from his family that Richard was able to analyze his feelings with a more open minded perspective.

“The Gospel of White Sapphire”

* Even though I know Seigi has a plan, it’s still very unsettling to see him going along with Jeffrey so convincingly. And poor Richard is so confused and betrayed. 😞

* Instead of Seigi’s whole life flashing before his eyes as he prepares to destroy the diamond, it’s just the moments he felt closest to Richard. 🥲

* Okay Seigi wtf? After all this time and everything he’s done for you? Why can you not see that Richard cares about you very much? How the fuck could you possibly think that he could just move on after you got thrown in prison for saving him from the stupid will? Freaking delusional! And giving him the pudding recipe?! I need to shake this man like a rag doll.

* Richard. You cannot say things like “When you threw that stone, it rekindled my love for you,” and then be like “haha just kidding.” No.

* “When Richard finished, he gently raised his right hand and placed it on my cheek. The same hand he so carefully handled gemstones with. It was soft, and cold, and tender” (227). I got fucking chills!

* Pages 224-229. 🥹🥹🥹 Tsujimura’s writing is so beautiful here. They crafted this intimate moment so well.

* This situation where Richard and Seigi both did incomprehensible things in order to protect the other is giving me serious Good Omens vibes. At least Richard and Seigi are a hell of a lot better at communicating than Aziraphale and Crowley!

* Seigi making Richard pudding to cheer him up right after the conversation in which Richard told him not to over exert himself trying to be useful and make others happy. But Seigi himself said that when Richard is happy, Seigi is happy. So I guess there truly aren’t anything lengths Seigi wouldn’t go to to ensure Richard’s happiness. I mean, he was prepared to take on £300 million in debt and go to prison if it meant Richard could be happy with someone else. So…

* It’s good to know that Seigi doesn’t call his mom “Hiromi” because of some falling out they had. They don’t seem particularly close now, but at least they’re on good terms.

* “We talked about the things that scared us—for me, it was my family members’ tears, and for Richard, it was the mirror” (253). Heart crushed at my feet omg Richard 😢

* They literally exchanged rings and are being so sweet I’m dhdjdjdk

* “I shut my mouth and straightened up, and Richard touched my cheek with his hand. At least, I think it was his hand. It was probably his hand. His blond hair tickled my ear and then pulled away again” (262). HAHAHAHHAAAAAA

* For real though, Seigi works so well as an unreliable narrator because he’s not purposedfully misleading the reader. He genuinely is so self-deluded about his relationship with Richard.

* “Honestly, I was pretty sure that what touched my cheek earlier wasn’t his hand. But I decided to pretend that it was. I didn’t think my heart could take the alternative” (263). OH GOD.

* Richard saying “Oh, you sweet summer child,” to Seigi is too good. I’ve said that about Seigi my head so many times.

* After Richard teases Seigi that he and Tanimoto might become a couple if Seigi introduced them: “Richard cocked his head to the side. His seductive gaze was dripping with allure. I never knew he was such a ladykiller” (268). SEIGI. Just who is Richard staring at with that seductive gaze? Certainly not any ladies! 🙄

* Seigi’s subconscious truly knows more than he does. Every time he says something that expresses his true feelings about Richard, or acknowledges Richard’s feelings for him, he suddenly starts thinking about Tanimoto. Hmmm interesting. Seigi knows that he and Richard love each other, but his brain can’t put a label on what kind of love that is. It’s much easier to think about Tanimoto, who Seigi does understand his feelings for.

* God, that chapter was an absolute whirlwind. I can’t believe almost all of that happened in a single day. What a ride!

“The Bicolor Tourmaline Tease”

* First of all, this title is incredible

* Wow, Tsujimura didn’t keep us waiting at all for Richard’s return lol

* This whole volume I thought the stone on the cover was supposed to represent Jeffrey’s color-shifting alexandrite lapel pin, but apparently it’s this metaphor-rich tourmaline!

* Seigi is not into this roleplay lol

* Seigi dishes out compliments and sentimental shit to Richard all the time but he absolutely cannot take them in return. 😂

* This is really too much Richard, omg

* “‘While I can’t understand it myself, you seem to enjoy lavishing me with praise. Consequently, I do not mind you doing so. In much the same way, I would like to indulge in the sweets I love to the greatest extent my health might permit, I implore you to praise me unabashedly to your heart’s content. But in return, I eagerly await the day that praising you will bring me such joy, Seigi’” (288). I’m going fucking feral over this.

* “‘Now, what we’re you talking about, Richard? You had the audacity to call me, the man to whom you owe your life, to Japan, asking me to step in to take care of the Ginza shop ‘indefinitely,’ and what’s the first thing you do when you come back? Flirt with the part-timer?’” (291). GSJDKDK SAUL I LOVE YOU

* DID SAUL AND SEIGI PLAN THIS?? WTF

* I can’t tell if that story took years off my life due to stress, or extended my life due to sheer joy. That was pure chaos and I loved every second of it.

“Overcast Iolite”

* A nice quiet story in which Richard tries to encourage Seigi in his own way. And of course, an interesting history lesson.

“Moonstone’s Affection”

* It makes me very happy that Seigi and Richard have dinner together on Saturdays now.

* NOT “THE MOON IS BEAUTIFUL, ISN’T IT?” 👀👀👀 And Richard brought up Natsume Souseki so he knows.

* Oh god, Richard said it too. Honey…

* WAIT SEIGI KNOWS WHAT IT MEANS

* I don’t think I can handle this new era of Seigi complimenting Richard so freely.

This volume was beautiful but such a fucking whirlwind! Can’t wait to start #5 tomorrow!

[junespriince]

Rating the inside jokes and things we've said out of context I have with Nebby ( @nebulous-shatin )

"so, do you agree." -100/10 BECAUSE MY LOYALTY IS TAKEN FOR GRANTED AND I FALL FOR IT EVERY SINGLE TIME I HATE IT RHDHDHDB NEBBY OS WRONG!

Bargain bin boy💕 8/10, I love him and his atrocious fits

Praise oia, 100/10, oia is life, oia is love.

Praise the Eldridge god upon Nebby's wardrobe, 10/10 bless neb sib for that duck too since it neb sib's duck lol will ask neb sib once there is I can hold it once, just once

Oh it grandpa! 4/10 BECAUSE I DON'T SEE GRAMPA AS OFTEN IT'S A CRIME!!!!

Thoughts? And prayers. 1/10, Nebby made me better at giving feedback BUT AT WHAT COST (tho 'FEEDBACK!? 😭" meme 10/10)

You slug! ∞/10 I was already obsessed with slugs and neb unlocked my true potential, I wouldn't be Sluggy wouldn't Nebby, most importantly timeline stuff

Vc? 8/10, I mean I get she too lazy to type shit because same and I love Nebby voice, it's very soothing for me!

Knee caps, now. 10/10 Nebby lost that one knee cap privileges.

Huggles, 9/10, Nebby just A HATER EXCUSE THIS IS PEAK WORD SMASHING.

Ew, German. -5/10, that's me being a hater but learning German is hard okay, I barely speak English well tf

*us shit talking so badly people ask are we actually fighting* 10/10, we just get bored, and being little shits it funny, if we finally have that real fight please let it be over something stupid it be so funny.

I want to strangle you 3/10, I told you I suck at platforms and you choose a platform puzzle game, that's on you lol

Horny jail 2/10, LISTEN NOT MY FAULT OKAY I LOVE 2D PEOPLE IDK WHAT TO TELL YOU

Found through birdflash, was writing about drawing birdflash, knew I love birdflash, sends her oc Dilly "Hi. Im nervous as it is." 200/10, that never be so funny to me and it branded on my brain, I ain't even written out the entire message but it up here.

Dragging me everywhere like a doll, 6/10 but I don't mind I follow Nebby to the end of the earth because why not.

Where was we? 1/10, our brain mush, we so forgetful

Peepaw and knight doomed old man yoai divorce arc, 8/10, was a funny moment playing with Nebby

I liked bullying him 10/10 Nebby gets me and my love for Cove

"I'll miss you're cute voice" 1/10 SHUT THE FUCK UP OH MY GOD I HATE UUUUUU NOBODY LOOK AT ME

Starlight, 8/10 nickname, I gotta bring it back the og nickname

Nebby, 9,000/10, just,,, don't take a drink every time I say Nebby you will die for alcohol poisoning

German goddess, 7/10, just when she use our shared brain cells to help me it is praise thee, but never used outside of joking.

Flirt 10/10 def Wally's favorite.

Ally, 9/10, shorting of my name! I adore!!

Lovebug 10/10, I is her bug, I bug her, and she loves me

Want to read that I got so far? 10/10, any fans for Nebby's work starve but I'm fed every single time, bestie privileges, sucks to sucks

Dream Nebby, 1/10 how dare you eat onions on pizza, have a TV in ya bathroom, and saying you don't like your kitty children get out of here evil Nebby,,, YebbN lol

Last one,

The first abomination child, 6/10 he haunts me. Truly worthy of being called a mistake.

I have so much more I'm realizing but I mean that's what you get for talking to someone every single day for 5yrs lol, god five years and it feels like a lifetime I've known ya nebs jeez