#idk who i’d rather be :’)
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di is sooo touchy
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i will literally never stop thinking about that one glass onion analysis video that said “i wouldn’t say i’d destroy [the mona lisa] to save a stranger’s life, but honestly? it’s kinda fucked up that i wouldn’t. we should value a person’s life, stranger or not, more than a piece of art.” like that changed something in me. bc our society DOES value art. not new art, not artists, sure, but it values the results. they put the results at a higher value than the artist themself, and if they think the results is worthless? they’ll still value the artist less than the result.
#thinkin abt my one friend who said she’d rather die than not complete her art#and another who said he’d kill himself for talent#and another who said the mona lisa was da vinci’s legacy and if it’s gone he’s gone#like what are y’all on abt? what value must u put on art to value urself as less than? how little do u value urself to put ur art as more?#i want so badly to be able to say i’d burn the mona lisa to save a stranger but idk if i would#and like this guy said: it’s fucked up#what we make doesn’t determine our worth. what we can or can’t do doesn’t determine our worth. how much talent we have doesn’t determine our#worth. and it shouldn’t.#idk. it just feels so twisted. and it’s not even abt what art they can make in the future.#it’s abt how we and the ppl around us are alive and that’s our most valuable gift#not some oil on a canvas#glass onion#glass onion a knives out mystery#art#mona lisa
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been thinking a lot about Dakota and autonomy and heroism lately
#he arts#dakota#So . It’s like the thing abt dakota and the Dr is that despite the medical malpractice . Despite everything . He doesn’t see it that way#And most people around him also don’t see it that way . In part I think beacuse his friends jsut want THIER friend to be#Alive and ok. And if that’s what it took to do that then ok. And then also there’s so little people !! In pd !! With normal senses of what#Autonomy is and control is because a lot of being a hero = needing to give that up. Cause u need to be able to put urself second or last#If u can save someoneelse. that’s part of the job description . So no one will ever really look at that much harder than maybe they should#But from dakotas pov i think that’s fascinating beacuse this event MASSIVLY Changed and shaped who he is . So jsut ! Idk it’s complicated#I think 21-22 are really intresting eps for that reason and to me it his descicion to go under surgery again despite obviously also being#Terrified of it but this time with William is jsut a really cool charcter desciion made and also to me always felt a bit like#Reclamation In a way I can’t fully explain. Like look here’s this thing that happend to me that I still haven’t fully processed#Here’s one way I can make myself into my own hero . Here’s how I can be someone who i needed when I was a kid#jrwi pd#SIGHSANYWYAS#idk if I should tag this as gore maybe !? Probaly#tw blood#Tw gore#<- I’d rather be safe than sorry idk if there’s a better tag I shoulda used but
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i kinda wish ppl would let go of the “and it’s supposed to be killing shtola to use her aether to see” just bc that’s not what was intended by “life force” and they’ve made that very clear and also more and more ppl exaggerate it like “the VAST amount of aether it takes for her to see” who said that…
#i do wish obv as i have said before they would do more to show her actually being blind but like show her getting tired from it#rather than like. dying ahdjdksk#anyway was reading something about someone who wants shtola’s desire for knowledge to be a vice rather than a virtue and i’m on the fence#about it just bc i personally don’t want her to be punished for that in a way that would make it like. that desire is bad#i’d rather it be about her recklessness with her own life but then they are all like that so what can you do really…#i do think an examination of what exactly she would do to get the knowledge she’s after but ppl wanting her to be punished for it#makes it feel bad to me idk. idk. maybe it’s the shtola bias talking. and like that being a thing i love about her lol#i need a text post tag#*an examination of what she would do would be interesting. forgot a key part of that sentence lol
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I wish I had a babygirlicious man next to me to keep me company right now 😼😉
#maybe Spencer Reid if he was real tbh#I love you Spencer Reid 💗💗💗#I literally wrote#doin’ it for Spencer Reid#in my book instead of doing my work LMAO 😭😭😭#I also wrote#smart is kewl#and okay werk now 💓#I hate doing work why is it so boring actually#I’m real I suppose#💓💓💓#are you guys still here… reading this… guys?…. guys…. guys…. guys…. 😿😿😿😿#I love this app actually sometimes I can just come on here and yap and post random things it’s so fun#but I’d rather die than like post about my real issues cause idk who’s reading that shiz and I find it a tad embarrassing x#but if that’s you idc do you girl nobody really cares#because why would they#if they care then they’re the weird ones#unless you’re like posting pictures of sh or like actually hate criming someone or something then that’s messed up#anyway#yeah#idk#bye guys fr now 💓💓💓#love you guys#oh and I also wrote this in my note book instead of doing my work#just to let y’all know#it’s a direct quote#I felt like sharing#and also it’s still applicable#OKAY NOW FR IM FOING ACTUALLY BYEEEEEEE
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Alright this might be a bit odd for me to make a statement like this but since we got the d day known as election day in the us coming pretty bloody soon I urge my good folks up there who are of age to vote I’m sorry but frankly I don’t think that the third party route is going to work and I’m sure Kamala’s got plenty of flaws but it’s either her or a felon who wants to deprive the rights of practically everyone and not to mention make things worse for both America and the rest of the planet - maybe it’s cause I’m Aussie I can’t do much but seriously we’re at the last hurdle and implore you lot to vote because there’s jeopardy at play here
#I’m not a political expert and tbh I’d rather have a will to live than be too fussed about the nitty gritty of politics#But my stance on the matter is that trump is a vile piece of shit and should be in a cell - not the fucking white house#Idk I’m just a bit anxious about it all so i just needed to get this off my chest#And for those who support trump don’t waste your time and energy arguing here im too much of a faggot to care about you loud ass fucks#not to mention I’d rather my friends upstairs have fucking rights thanks#mika says#important#cw rant#cw politics#vote 2024#fuck trump
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i love muting people on twitter some of you bitches are very dumb
#what do you MEAN gojo wasn’t traumatized by toji??? 😭#i don’t think that gege has to spoonfeed every single morsel of information for you… like if you READ the manga you’d know 😭#why is the reason gojo works so tirelessly on his infinity??? during his fight w sukuna why was he reminded of toji???#LIKE HELLO??? this is why heavily shipper brains are so useless to me#this one was goge shipper and for some reason they just completely watered down gojo’s personality/trauma like HUH#geto isn’t the only person who went through things 😭#also saying that geto was the only person who saw gojo as a person… that’s true to an extent#pre-defection geto ABSOLUTELY! gojo never was around Normal People so that’s why he acts the way he acted it’s obvious#but i’d argue post-defection geto… even for a little bit… saw gojo as a tool rather than a human#bc he even tells gojo that if suguru was gojo then his impossible ideals wouldn’t be impossible anymore simply by the virtue of being gojo#i think after people realize satoru’s strength they immediately throw away his humanity#which is something that his kids don’t really care much for… like yeah gojo sensei is strong but the 1st years don’t gaf that much 😭#i think they see him more for his personality than his Strength but they obviously know he’s the strongest#and i think they know he wants them to be strong too#satoru also said he can only save people who want to be saved#i think he’s in constant of his students for that reason too… they save each other & communicate & are allowed to be kids#i think also bc satoru finds it so important to enjoy the mundane things of life and to enjoy friendships bc that’s the only thing that +#he himself had cultivated during his years as as student too#this became a rant but . @ shippers & @ anyone stupid… stop watering down gojo#it’s my biggest pet peeve idk why but nothing pisses me off more in the jjk sphere than people watering down gojo#just bc his trauma manifested in different ways doesn’t mean that he wasn’t hurt 😭#like don’t forget about satoru gojo!!!!!! he’s a lot more emotionally perceptive/mature than people give him credit for#personal
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male jjk “fans” on twitter are so fucking weird and annoying and this applies to every male shounen fanbase out there 🙃 just a cesspool of incels that love hating on women that genuinely enjoy the series
#( ♥︎ ) — messy talk.#discourse kinda#everyday i love being a misandrist <33#im always always gonna be pro women idc#but thats not the point here#male shounen fans should all burn#the shipping isnt even a major issue in the jjk fandom#idk why theyre so fixated on hating ppl (majority jjk fans who are women)#because they ship satosugu even tho its canon#and even having a problem with thirsting over gojo or toji???#i understand that some mfs do say some out of pocket shit about the men in jjk#but at the end of the day you still bash women 🤷🏻♀️#all the males in the jjk fandom have is no media literacy#i’d rather be in a room full of jjk fangirls who talk abt gojos asshole 24/7 on twitter than a single power scaling anime dudebro#you mfs wouldn’t even LAST on jjk tumblr#like we’re much more worse ngl
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You know. I still love the first Kingsman movie. There was so much potential. And then the second one kinda just sucked.
#very much so#I’d have rather Harry stay dead then what they ended up doing#and I know that seems heartless as a hartwin shipper#but like. it could have been so good. and instead they killed off EVERYONE. everyone. for one character to come back#so stupid. and Eggsy giving up EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING HE WORKED SO FUCKING HARD FOR. for a lady who really didn’t actually care about him#or his passions. really doesn’t sit well for me. at all.#idk. Golden Circle could have been so good. but it just isn’t even fun#the first one. the first one was fun.#that’s why we all loved it so much. it was Fun.#the second one smashed the fun out of it.#why am I ranting about Kingsman at 10:10 on a Tuesday morning your wondering??? me too
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I’m not going to be ambitious. I want Ivo’s card. If I get Sha’arnez or Cain’s, though, that’s not bad at all. I am aiming for Ivo’s though. If I aim for only one, soon I will succeed. If I aim for all three, I may lose my peace of mind doing so; it would triple the spins necessary, at minimum.
Probably.
I think?
Math.
#that last part is not a haiku but it feels like one#anyway#am I doing math right? I literally Just woke up so possibly not.#like let’s say on average it takes 4-6 spins to most-likely get Ivo or Sha’arnez or Cain#that’s possibly several days for one of them#I’d rather get a nice surprise with Sha’arnez or Cain while searching for Ivo than actively try to collect all three and become fixated#does that make sense.#Idk how many cards there are and of who btw. but of the ones I know about these three are the ones that caught my attention.
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i found loads of pictures of my uncle i am going 2 cry
#he looked so sweet…..he looks SO much like my dad#i found the last picture of him that my granddad took a month or so before he died it’s so sad#trying to decide if i should tell my mum that i know about him or if i should just keep it to myself#idk if somethings wrong with me maybe it’s because i was already grieving before i found out#but it’s really getting 2 me i can’t concentrate on my uni shit i just keep thinking about it#i think i rlly need to talk about it with someone but i have no idea who or how or what i’d say. but it’s weird because it’s a secret yk#like i’m not even supposed to know he existed#idk. i have a gender clinic appointment next week and i’m going to ask if they can recommend any therapists#me being very very brave and trying therapy again after being forced into it my whole life and ending up a bit traumatised#idk. i feel bad that i’m alive and i’m wasting my life when my uncle got killed when he was just a kid#it makes me feel like i should be more grateful and do more with myself.#and i am going to try but i’d rather he was here instead. same with my granddad#every time i experience something beautiful or good i wish my granddad could experience it because he deserved it more than me#and the best i can do is experience it for him and be grateful. but i would chance places instantly if i could#him and his kid deserve to be here they were so special. i know i don’t know his kid but i’ve heard they were similar#so i know he must have been special too#i found a fb comment today from a family friend i’ve never met and she was saying that she only met my granddad once#but she called him gentle and it made me cry. because he was very scottish and sweary and traditional and masculine#so everyone just assumed he was tough and scary but if you knew him he was really quiet and kind#and i’m glad someone who only met him once could see that#i’m going to be half asleep for the rest of my life i think. i’ve been dreaming since my granddad died and i don’t feel like i ever woke up#nothing has felt real since i was nine years old. everything just stopped and never started again#i’ve just been waiting. i’m waiting for him to change his mind and come back. idk. i don’t know what to do with myself#and i continuously feel fucking insane and stupid for being this way. it’s like fresh grief all the fucking time#but it was fifteen years ago. why does it still feel this way#i can’t even tell people because they won’t understand why i’m still so bothered by it#he was my parent for nine years. i lived with him he was my sole caretaker#i was nonverbal and him and my brother were the only people on the planet who knew what my voice sounded like#he’d think it was silly if i failed my exam because i was crying about him instead#he’d tell me to whisht and stick in. so i will
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HATE when i’m taking a class that i KNOW would be a piece of cake for people who are fans of objective definitions with no exceptions and unexamined moral outrage…
#i just think… that creating black-and-white definitions for certain concepts is very limiting#and that personal moral judgements are not particularly helpful most of the time#like. in an applied sense#but here i am in an ethics class…#i’ve taken several courses that covered applied ethical behavior in my discipline#but this theoretical stuff is just so much…#trying to find the happy medium between my theoretical and applied answers to these questions is SO hard…#‘why is [x practice] ethically important?’#idk man… can’t we just Do It?? do we have to have a moral justification here?#‘who is morally responsible for [bad thing]?#DOES IT MATTER??????#how does answering that question help us?#when all we have access to is who is legally responsible and our legal system is kind of fucked anyhow#the economic system that allows disasters like that to happen is what is inherently immoral - not individual people#wait… can i actually just write about that??#can they stop me????#probably not…#hmmmmmmmmm…#bc i’d MUCH rather talk about that than why a few random rich people suck#bc yeah they DO but saying that doesn’t help us#disempowering them and people like them from future exploitative opportunities DOES#yep. i have talked myself into my project topic#THANKS EVERYONE!!!!!!!
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it’s really weird being trans and going to the doctor when you don’t plan on transitioning medically
#marzi speaks#i have no interest in t or top surgery atm so for convenience my doctors know me as a woman#which like. that isn’t. incorrect. but it’s not all of me#idk. i’m someone who typically just despises being closeted#i’m privileged to be able to not be closeted in my daily life but like. i just hate hiding myself yanno#but if i mark myself down as ‘other’ on those forms then everything just gets so much more complicated#plus even if i say i’m comfortable with all pronouns i’ll likely still just be she/her-ed. maybe she/they-ed if i’m lucky#so like. there’s no point in complicating things for myself like that#but it’s weird. i’m not staying closeted because i’m afraid of my doctors not caring for me#(although i do worry about systematic biases)#but instead because it’s just. easier. and doesn’t that kind of suck#being fully myself in a medical setting is inconvenient. it gets in the way#because the medical system isn’t built to accomodate me. so i fold away those parts of me to make it easier#idk. it’s kinda fucked but it mostly just makes me feel weird. i feel like i’m lying when i tell them i’m female but it’s my easiest option#plus i’d hate to be asked if i’ve transitioned medically at all and have ‘biologically female’ written on my chart when i say no#i’d rather just see an F on the gender marker than be told my body is that of a woman’s
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part of my reluctance to watch Hit New Shows the moment they air is that. i do not enjoy being in a fandom in infancy. i prefer being in fandoms that are at least a few years old, because by that time, the worst, most vitriolic elements have probably left or latched onto a new media and the only people remaining are the ones who really love the source. not that insane drama can’t happen in older fandoms, but there’s less growing pains, less people getting in because of hype and then getting caught up in said hype to start fights with anyone who disagrees with them. it’s settled. into a nice soup.
#the one exception to this in recent years i think was when i watched succession while it was ‘airing’#but also i was not In fandom circles for succession to be fair. beyond my lovely mutuals who were also into it and gave me gifsets that made#me ill. positive.#idk man i’ve done the song and dance enough. im fucking tired. every new fandom feels like it needs to explode a few times before it settles#into something liveable. i’d rather just wait. i don’t really care about missing out on All That
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👙𝐒𝐋𝐄𝐄𝐏𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓🧘🏼♀️
Time to start out SLEEPOVER EVENT! This is last years summer event rebranded. If you haven’t had a chance to participate last time -here’s your shot!
Send in one emoji per ask please. You can send in as many asks as you’d like. Fandoms that apply are listed at the bottom of the post, but you can send in others as long as I know them
🌷 - give me a character and any pointers you have and I will write an x reader story (not the usual headcanons, actual story)
💋 - describe yourself and I will ship you with a fictional character (no/short explanation)
🧸 - same thing as above but platonic/parental
🐶 - ask me a question about me/my works
🎀- I will make you a short playlist for you and a fictional character of your choosing
🍧 - I’ll give you a snippet from my works
🥤- send me a character and I will make you a relationship mood board plus date ideas for you and the character
🍒 - give me a fandom plus something about yourself to get a short story on how you would do in the fandom (‘your life in XYZ’ kind of deal)
🌞 - MUTUALS ONLY. Ask me what characters you remind me of
🌺 - pick a character and I’ll give you outfits inspired by them from my Pinterest (specify gender)
🥂 - I’ll give you a random song rec, just give me some vague vibes
🎸 - give me a few key words and I’ll recommend you a book (to the best of my ability)
💫 - give me a ‘would you rather’ question and watch me struggle
🪭 - choose a character and I will give you a polish song they would listen to
🥞 - PJO/HOO ONLY. Tell me something about yourself and I’ll give you your godly parent
🦩 - MUTUALS ONLY. Cym
🌅 - tell me your name and a song you like. I’ll do a moodboard for you
🎟️ - give me three characters for ‘fuck, marry, kill’
🩰 - MUTUALS ONLY. I’ll list what colour and song I associate you with
⭐️ - MUTUALS ONLY, nerd edition. I’ll give you a dnd alignment, class and race
🐕 - give me a character you like and I’ll find you a polish song (romance adjacent)
🍉 - send me a confession and let me judge you
🩷 - I’ll give you my personal headcanons about anything and anyone
FANDOMS: BRIDGERTON, HEROES OF OLYMPUS, DEAD POETS SOCIETY, SIX OF CROWS, IT, MISS PEREGRINE’S HOME FOR PECULIAR CHILDREN, LORD OF THE FLIES*, HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON, TOTAL DRAMA 2023, TANGLED THE SERIES, THE OWL HOUSE, WEDNESDAY, DEAR EVAN HANSEN, HELLUVA BOSS, LUCA, THE LEGEND OF VOX MACHINA, MOOMINS etc…
#*don’t be creepy about it#don’t give me romantic asks about those guys pls#idk who is requesting so I’d rather not#special event#writer event#x reader#self ship#self shipping#selfshipping#selfship#tangled the series#tangled x reader#varian x reader#bridgerton#bridgerton x reader#six of crows#grishaverse#shadow and bone#soc x reader#send asks#asks#matchups#headcanons#losers club#Wednesday#dead poets society#toh#httyd#total drama reboot#kaz brekker
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anyway. am i allowed to say that yes aimsey is a good role player and they make really cool stories and i’m very excited for her being in purgatory, but i’ve always been kinda meh on them ever since they threw a little shitfit over the existence of bisexual lesbians a few months ago?? like it was kinda hypocritical that he was pissed over bisexual women who may also identify as lesbians, which is an identity that breaks the typical definitions of both of those labels, while also being nonbinary and a lesbian, which is also an identity that breaks the typical definition of both of those labels. ik it was a while ago, they did apologize and explain their reasoning, but it’s just left a bad taste in my mouth ever since
#whiskey yelling into the void#SORRY it’s just bothered me for a while#like people are going to yell at you for having an identity they don’t understand#and you’re going to turn around and do the exact same thing to people with identities you don’t understand#like you can’t exist as one identity people will be confused about while also pushing down other confusing identities#because we’re all weird degenerates at the end of the day in the eyes of homophobes#and i’d rather support people with contradictory identities than stand by gays who think i’m weird for identifying as a butch trans man#support weird labels they’re just WORDS who gives a shit we all die anyway and infighting is DUMB#i do think they’re a good person and they meant well it was just something that put me off for a while#and i can’t rly push past it and watch them again yk????#if u still watch aimsey that’s cool tho!!! i’m not pissed about them having a fanbase i don’t want to like. cancel them or w/e#idk this is just me ranting i’m not trying to start shit and i’m very happy for u if ur excited for qaimsey!! i do like their rp characters
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