#i’d rather just see an F on the gender marker than be told my body is that of a woman’s
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it’s really weird being trans and going to the doctor when you don’t plan on transitioning medically
#marzi speaks#i have no interest in t or top surgery atm so for convenience my doctors know me as a woman#which like. that isn’t. incorrect. but it’s not all of me#idk. i’m someone who typically just despises being closeted#i’m privileged to be able to not be closeted in my daily life but like. i just hate hiding myself yanno#but if i mark myself down as ‘other’ on those forms then everything just gets so much more complicated#plus even if i say i’m comfortable with all pronouns i’ll likely still just be she/her-ed. maybe she/they-ed if i’m lucky#so like. there’s no point in complicating things for myself like that#but it’s weird. i’m not staying closeted because i’m afraid of my doctors not caring for me#(although i do worry about systematic biases)#but instead because it’s just. easier. and doesn’t that kind of suck#being fully myself in a medical setting is inconvenient. it gets in the way#because the medical system isn’t built to accomodate me. so i fold away those parts of me to make it easier#idk. it’s kinda fucked but it mostly just makes me feel weird. i feel like i’m lying when i tell them i’m female but it’s my easiest option#plus i’d hate to be asked if i’ve transitioned medically at all and have ‘biologically female’ written on my chart when i say no#i’d rather just see an F on the gender marker than be told my body is that of a woman’s
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