#idk what to tag this as and I’m too tired
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pinky promise couple necklace
#my posts#stim#sensory#stimmy#stimblr#stim gifs#lovecore#jewelry#necklaces#silver#idk what to tag this as and I’m too tired#matching necklaces#I hope you guys like the gifs recently
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#Hi#idk why I got yelled at when I got home tonight#I should be patient and supportive and all#Bc honestly if I can’t be that what do I even bring to this household#Was just too tired. I guess clients are meant to make lame choices and ask for 1000+ versions of the same pointless detail.#Only a couple weeks of that and I’m bored already. Urgh it’s so silly.#I gotta be patient with : client. manager. and boss. each wanting their idea to win.#I was happily coming home. Then some shitty vibe poisoned the air now everyone feels bad. We are the stupidest thing istg#Wish yall a good time tho ! Anyways. Tags.#Wolfwood#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun#vashwood#Drew my soft star crossed lovers to snack on a bit of comfort
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Hatchetfield @femslashfortnight Day 6: Protect
#some campfire confessions for yall :)#I had a very draining day today so we’re not doing long tags for this one#I have a drawing im still working on for day 4 so its gonna be a little out of order#but whatever it is what it is#I used the fun brush again for this one :D#fun fact: bears are my favorite animal#look I never said I wouldn’t ever do personal facts#also I’m too tired to go looking for facts#so there’s some Ricky lore#what’s YOUR favorite animal?#let me know in the tags if you feel like it /nf#idk yall#campfire confession#abstinence camp#nerdy prudes must die#hatchetfield femslash fortnight#karen chasity#girl jeri#nightmare time#Starkid#hatchetfield#team starkid#Kim Whalen#hatchetfield axe man#man- Axe Man is such a banger- it’s my favorite hatchetfield song#it’s just too good I love it#that episode has a lot of good songs#my art
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LSTR-S2301 and the maintenance tunnel ARAR are best friends to me even though that Elster was only on sierpinski for a seemingly brief time, they’re bros who fuck around on the clock during work. I think Elster was probably more willing to put extra time in however she’s also very “okay you’ve given me a list of tasks I did them. They’re done and done well. That’s it, my time now.” Whereas I see Ara being more of a slacker (very valid of her) or at the very least just a bare minimum type of gal when it comes to work.
Idk I tend to imagine them fucking off in the middle of shifts to go find weird lonely corners of sierpinski to hang out in. They don’t even talk half the time but they love it.
#listen I know sierpinski Elster has Alina as her lover#I don’t necessarily see Elster/ara as romantic although it could be#they’re just tired work bros to me#u have machine autism and plant autism and they’re both silent types I think they’d click#I’ve seen some fun takes on Lilith and Elster as characters too#to me Lilith Itou is definitely the strong silent type but not bc she always means to be#yes she is an intimidating war veteran but I think part of that intimidation factor comes from her being awkward as hell when it comes#to talking#combo of awkward/ just being a woman of few words anyway#which comes through in LSTRs I think#they don’t say much when they don’t feel that they need to ig#anyway idk if this makes sense I’m just rambling#I was also just trying to think abt LSTR-S2301 bc poor thing#imagine being your own individual replika but you’re brought to this place as basically a sacrificial lamb? of sorts#in that you as you are. it’s not what you need to be for a god’s purpose#but it’s close enough that the parts that aren’t needed can be stripped away#and filled again#she was only ever meant to be a vessel for 512 in many ways#but she was still S2301 and had her own life and friends for a brief moment in time#signalis#this isn’t worded well but gets the tag regardless#I should make a rambles tag separate from my personal tag maybe#lynx rambles#<- new tag ig
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anyone else feel ugly and invisible all the time?
just me?
okay
#sigh#we are at it again#another depressing post#rip#I swear the apocalypse is more likely to happen than a guy calling me pretty#athena didn’t only give annabeth her hat of invisibility#i got mine too#apparently#:)))#losing hope#i’m sad#I’m depressed#liesmultixxx talks 🩵#male attention who?#i only get attention when people want to abuse me#lol#how great#idk what to tag this#just me ranting#vent#vent post#the bpd is bpding#and kicking my ass#why do I have a break down every day 😭😭😭#i’m tired
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accidentally said i was going to fucking kill myself in front of my coworkers 🥴
#not what you want to hear from your boss !!!#there’s just too much going on at work right now#when i’m like. i don’t want to do anything !!! at all !!!!!!#and turning 30 at the end of the month is getting to me so bad#i’m not where i want to be but i don’t know where to go from here#and it’s so overwhelming and depressing#i see myself becoming increasingly apathetic but idk how to fix it#i’m just tired of everything#anyway. i’ll be fine don’t worry i just hate all of this rn#gg txt#suicide tw#suicide ideation tw#sorry idk how to tag that
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max is my ride or die i got into f1 a carlos girlie but i’m a max girlie for now and forever. he’s just so!!! i saw a picture of him out in public a couple weeks ago (never in my life have i seen an advertisement for f1 or like, brand sponsorships with drivers in my country) and i giggled so much i had to be dragged away im so unnormal about him (kinda weird now that i think about it but oh well im just a girl).
you know how there’s the whole scenarios of “fucking the english out of someone”. that but max fucking the dutch into his girl where he’ll only let her come if she’s spoken to him in dutch yeah i need him so bad
- 🌙
no its ok i buy redbull bc of him so i can get the cans w him on it 🤭 im only a girl. its good for the economy.
crying that’s a max thing to do and he would tauntingly say whatever he wanted her to repeat back to him until she did, every time she begs, he repeats the same dutch phrase back to her or says he can’t understand her until she finally says it and she can’t stop saying it
#ask#🌙 anon#i need max more than anything#i was going to bed thinking about max and peach and how i wanna write their storyline as kinda enemies to lovers#not really shes in love w him but he thinks shes his rivals annoying sister who happens to be super cute#and i thought of A Line or maybe The Line idk i was rushing to grab my phone to put it in my notes app#someone talk to me about max and peach#does anyone even read my tags#i just brainrot in them#thats what tumblr tags are for thats why they go on foreeeeeveerrrrr#sorry im tired i wont even remember this in the morning thats why i rushed for my notes app#so glad i checked tumblr too bc this ask is delicious and i’m going to write it into max and peach’s story for sureee
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god i cannot wait to be off these steroids…
#marzi speaks#marzivents#<- it’s late n i’m kinda pent up abt this#i’m so TIRED of themmmm#i’m probs gonna be on them for the rest of the year. which SUCKSSS#i don’t like how many ppl comment on the moon face#i don’t mind it. like i look in a mirror and i’m okay.#it’s a little weird. but like. just because it’s different. like getting used to a new haircut#but every time i see someone for the first time in a bit it’s ‘woah your face got rounder’#and i have to go ‘oh yeah it’s water retention- steroids thing it’ll go away when i’m able to go off ‘em’#and they go ‘oh alright :) you still look good btw don’t worry’#and i just. i HATE how people talk about it!! like jfc. it’s so clear that they think it’s like kinda sad#my dad said he thinks it’s cute and he’s the only one i actually think is telling the truth there#my mom and i agree that it doesn’t matter. but even then she tries to tell me not to panic#like a little extra squish in my face is something to panic over#it’s so clear that so many people see it as another thing to pity#oh poor thing. has that chronic illness for the rest of her life. and the steroids made her jaw look rounder :(#like jfc i knew fatphobia was prevalent but come the fuck on. literally i’m like barely retaining water for steroids too#like. i’m still very much skinny (i JUST finished being malnourished ffs) but bc i’m retaining water in my face#now ppl feel the need to comfort me. over this tiny cosmetic thing that does not matter#like. i wouldn’t feel weird abt it if it weren’t for everyone else making it such a THING. why is everyone so weird about it#i’m not insecure about it but when ppl try to comfort me or go ‘it’s not that bad’ it makes me feel like i’m SUPPOSED to be insecure abt it#and it drives me NUTS. bc there are things about being on steroids that i would love to be comforted about#but the water retention is not one of them. i couldn’t give a rat’s ass about the water retention#y’know what i’d like to be comforted over? the mood swings. the irritability. the insomnia. the appetite fluctuation#the slow healing of skin. thinning and dryness in the skin. having to take like 3 other medications alongside the steroid#bc taking the steroid causes side effects that need to be medically treated or prevented#even outside of the steroid! i’d like some comfort about having to build back my stamina from scratch#i’d like some comfort about having the worst balance i’ve had in years#there’s. more to this. but i’m out of tags. maybe i’ll make some replies idk. i’m just. UGH
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Trying to figure out highschool era designs for the band boys or something idk
And one for comparison to the present sure why not
#Death’s doorstep#I am. Unsure what else to tag this#I worked on this way too long I kinda hate it now LMAO#Not satisfied with Cross’s high school design it doesn’t feel right to me but I redid it like four times so this is how it is for now#Anyway I’m not sure what the point of this post is hopefully you. Care??#idk man I’m tired#This is mostly just me fucking around and trying to figure stuff out#Happiest with killer’s and horror’s
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I think people should be allowed to share their distaste for certain headcanons n such without people making posts about how they’re ‘gatekeeping’. for as much as I’m a ‘do what you want’ kinda dude, I do think that includes allowing people to express why they don’t enjoy something. like most people are pretty civil bout it until you antagonize them by pointing and saying they’re ‘policing’ spaces.
#crow thoughts#sorry fandom stuff is like. kinda stressing me out a bit#and it’s kinda making me nervous to post opinions on things.#additionally I think people need to hear out minorities when it comes to things and not antagonize them#additionally if they aren’t going up to people and saying rude shit or actively posting rude shit in the tags#what does it matter if they don’t enjoy your headcanon?#like I’ve already seen four different posts all talking about fandom negativity and it’s like. just block them.#additionally maybe also don’t put those posts in the main tags? especially if the other person just posted it to their blog :-|#im not explaining this correctly. I just don’t have good experience with people who point and claim negativity#especially in the context of actual criticism about character design preferences and the treatment of certain designs#like you cannot deny that people treat fat designs very differently from skinny designs#ur not a bad dude for having a skinny design but you gotta allow people to discuss and critique things#idk I’m just tired as fuck seeing people in the main tags make longass posts about an opinion from a handful of people-#-who only posted it to their blog and not directly in the tags yknow?#if I get too anxious I’ll delete this but for now I’ll post this
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ok bad pic but here’s what i got done. got about ~14 “acceptable” vines plus words out of ~23 prints so better than half but not by much 😪 did some 8x10s too but didn’t look too close at those. i had TWO vines on this fancy confetti washi & those both came out ok thank god. did some plain with just text & then since i had the red out & wanted to print something that actually looked nice remembered i had this cute cute heart stamp i wanted to experiment with printing like a block (cause like why not) that i took from work & printed up a batch of those. i’m gonna carve something to put in the middle of them but not sure yet. so i printed about one million prints today but really mixed bag on success rate
#i’m eating a salad now 👍#ive also GOT to buy a good baren bc all of mine suck shit & my favorite tea canister lid is completely fucked (not flat anymore)#the tea canister lid is the only one i like but since it’s not flat i really need to find a real tool to replace it#if anyone has any reccs please drop them below#i have such a headache and i’m in pain from standing over my desk lol. i need to like. idk. stand better#photo record#art tag#chatpost#the words are hard to read but i decided i liked what that added to the message so whatev#maybe some day in the far future i’ll do these in a different color way#i need to buy more paper soon too i’m down to my second to last pack#ugh i’m tired. i hate when a print day goes bad it’s so.. sad. lol
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._.
#upset with myself because none of my winter coats fit#because i’ve stress eaten myself into a lot of weight gain this year#and so i went to the thrift store to buy a new coat#because i don’t want to buy a New new coat right now#and i was looking at the men’s larges and tried a couple on#but none of them fit#i wasn’t able to zip them up#it used to be that mens larges were too big on me. now they’re too small?#idk when tf that happened but i’m upset#and tired#and just stressed about a million other things and i didn’t need this on top of it#i just feel like a gross lump#and you know what i’m gonne do about it? eat#of course#ugh#tw weight#weight#weight talk#body image#idk what else to tag this as if nobody wants to read it#i’ll probably delete it later anywY
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Writing over 30,000 words worth of content for a fic only to realize it’s all pointless because you have no interest in it anymore and you were never gonna finish it anyway….
What even is The Point anymore
#current mood#it’s so joever#this isn’t even the worst part honestly#what really sucks is that this project was the last thing in my life I had any sustainable interest in and now that’s gone too.#now I have nothing. like#the fuck am I supposed to do??? get a new interest??? that’s fucking impossible#nothing hits like it used to and everything is just….bland….and SO MUCH EFFORT to get into#like hobbies are so difficult? and my old hobbies (ex writing) are becoming more and more toxic and like a chore rather than something fun#like writing at this point has become a battle of perfectionism and I’m fucking losing#what am I supposed to do. nothing inspires me. I have no interests. no hobbies. not many friends irl#and it’s not like we ever hang out because people are a fucking piece of work#either they cling to you like dog shit or they never respond to your texts no in between#im just so tired of existing??? and also college??? is fine but like#what the fuck am I DOING here like#why am I getting an art degree??? is this really how I should be spending my time and my parents money?#what the fuck am I gonna do for a job??? what do I WANT from a job???? I don’t even fucking know#i can’t see myself being happy in life doing anything and that’s such a nonstarter#it makes it impossible to start planning anything because I feel paralyzed with fear#and like I said….i don’t have any interests. I don’t LIKE anything. I am the antithesis of curiosity and interest like. there’s just nothing#i can’t do this anymore#im so done#idk why I made this so long but#I guess I have a lot on my mind I wanted to share#sorry for cringe posting on main it will happen again#im sorry in general actually for everything im sorry for being needy and attention seeking and annoying and flaky and never finishing any of#my fics because I lose interest and for not responding to anyone in my inbox I’m sorry#personal#cringe#cringetober#long tags
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I DONT FUCKING RECOMMEND LOOKING AT JOE HAWLEYS SPOTIFY RN ESPECIALLY NOT THE NEW SINGLE “I LOVE YOU JOE” BECAUSE THERE IS POSSIBLY FUCKING FRESH SELF HARM ON THE COVER IM NOT COMPLETELY SURE SINCE I LOOKED AT IT FOR LIKE LESS THEN FIVE SECONDS BUT I SAW BLOOD (POSSIBLY FAKE BUT IDK) AND A RAZOR BLADE AND THATS ENOUGH FOR ME TO NOT WANT TO LOOK AT IT ANYMORE
#eddie’s random rambles#tw sh related#ask to tag#i dont fucking know what else to tag this#I’m probably fucking a bit late to fucking say this since the new single was released like yesterday but like idk#I’m going to bed I’m too tired for this
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It’s strange, I’m used to hyperfixating hard on things like HARD (beats my 2yr long beetlejuice musical obsession back with a stick) but Starbreaker- not even fantasy high itself took me over to the point of feeling like a teen about. Like I haven’t had this much fun in fandom in years. I haven’t like- interacted with people this much in fandom in years (which is still not enough but if I beat myself up about social interaction again I’ll jump off a cliff)
But there’s never been a concern of like “this obsession won’t fade for a while but it’ll lose popularity” and that’s fine and surprisingly it hasn’t. But it is different. It’s like adapting to it constantly as the thing itself changes even when there are aspects that you’d like to stay the same. Like that ‘I don’t go to this school of thought, but I’ll still take the class bc it’s interesting’ sorta thing.
And then there’s that feeling of WANTING to contribute but the thing has become such a beast that it’s like oooh I’m so out of my depths here.
Also like constantly having to look myself in the eye and be like ‘bitch you don’t have to talk or contribute to EVERYTHING’ and the sooner I accept that and accept that it is what it is, ill miss things, I won’t get enjoyment out of every aspect and every aspect isn’t for me and that that isn’t a bad thing, I’ll stop having moments of feeling weird and out of place. I have my lil corner and that’s okay
#ngl I think the biggest ‘culture shock’ ig about being in fandom is that tagging systems have changed so much or something bc I’m used to#walking in a tag and that’s where you find everything#but now it’s different#things are tagged wayyy differently and it means missing things or setting aside time to go down a list to check every blog#I dunno#I always feel a little weird about main tagging sb stuff now bc I’ll check the tag and it’s like oh? things are slowing down#but it’s like nooo bc of tagging and different lanes entirely I’m just missing stuff#idk what this is I’m just talking but it’s strange#I think I’m bad at fandom and that defeats the purpose of it bc it’s recreational#it’s supposed to be fun.#it’s /supposed/ to be fun#I saw a post the other day of someone that’s in this purely for Jace and having similar feelings of being out of the loop and it got me#thinking bc on some part I’ve contributed to it and I’ve probably clogged tags#but the lizard part of my brain that gets the dopamine boost from getting a note is like if I don’t main tag it won’t be seen#but truly either way I am mostly talking to myself lmao#so yah know? idk it should be fun#idk what this is and idk if I’ll fully ever commit to a different/quieter tagging system#bc tumblr is the place I got to scream and be annoying without being told it’s too much and some how I’ve convinced myself that on my own#blog and fandom spaces I enjoy that I’m just annoying#and I don’t wanna think that#I think I’m tired. like hyperfixation hasn’t died but the part of me that’s hungry for being completely consumed by it is tired#my one fear is that I’ll be so annoying that my fic will finish and no one will care#which isn’t true bc I’ll care until the bitter end lmao#idk I’ve talked so much that I’m like oh I’ve done the thing again I should shut up#also this is too like- self focused way too self focused#which just makes it worse bc then I’m like that’s what got me in this mess#but goddamn there’s just so much shit I’m missing out on and interactions I’d like to have but about things that I’m out of my depths on#so it made fandom a little lonely and a little secular#feeling like a kid on the outs#I want that feeling to die especially about the things I love
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I don’t know how, but recently I started thinking about ye old early dsmp and L’Manburg and all that good stuff so here’s a doodle dump
I know some people really hate dsmp, or think it’s cringe, or whatever else. But it’s honestly what got me through most of the pandemic. Not to mention the mutuals I met on here through it!! So no matter what, it holds a little special place in my heart :]]
#I am really tired today#but the grind never stops (I love making and posting art :3)#maybe I show redraw some old things from 2020#I think I’ve improved a lot since then#so it would be pretty cool to see!!#anyways hope this isn’t too cringe for you guys#I may be cringe but I am free!!!!!!! motto for life!!!!!!!#dsmp#dsmp fanart#lmanburg#uhhhhh what are the fuckin tags again#c!tommy#<- would they still be like this??? idk I hope so#let me know if I’m wrong#c!tubbo#c!niki#Crab Doodles#also don’t mind how long it took me to actually search up niki to figure out her hair -_-#I’m just a little lazy sometimes but I figured it out in the end!!
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