#idk what to say about this other than its long and my lesbianism literally cannot be stopped

[violottie]

I cant stress enough how much bi lesbians and bi lesbian discourse flared up my SO-ocd, I was fine for a few months and then I returned to this side of tumblr and I get reminded of them. One of my worst fears is that I am somehow a “bi lesbian” or if after all these years of questioning and finally coming to the conclusion that I’m a lesbian I’ll turn out to be straight in the end. Idk if I should have stayed on the art side of tumblr but where else do I find other lesbians??? I wish I could go back to when I didn’t know “bi lesbians” existed it was easier back then. Apparently the only thing to make intrusive thoughts subside is to be like “so what if I’m not a lesbian, who cares” but I cant do that. I wanna go back to when I didn’t know there were people who deliberately fake being gay because that’s also one of my fears,, even though when I realized I was a lesbian it felt like I REALIZED it rather than chose it

(this is gonna be long but it's very important to talk about so just a heads up on that)

i am so so sorry to hear this, and im infuriated that these fucking creeps in the "community" have caused not only so much blatant lesbophobia to spread but also have caused so much harm to lesbians.

i am right with you because ive been through, and still go through sometimes, what you're experiencing. its terrifying that all this bullshit can snowball and make any doubts we lesbians already have from living in this heterosexual patriarchal society double and multiply even more viciously.

my internalised lesbophobia has worsened also. i doubt myself alot and more often thanks to all this bs. its... i dont even have words to express how damaging lesbophobia, especially from within the "community", is.

it causes harm and trauma and pain and suffering for lesbians, but all these stupid juvenile shits just think it doesnt matter because "uwu theyre so kweer and cool now"

it sucks... but i need you to know it is not your fault that you feel this way.

no matter what anyone inside or outside the community says, and no matter what your spiralling thoughts might make you believe as a result of lesbophobia inside and outside the community, you are not straight, you are not a "bi lesbian", you are not bisexual. you are a lesbian.

i know it is so so hard to just say but i promise you, nothing they say will ever ever change the reality of your lesbianism. i promise you.

it hurts, and its beyond infuriating to have to share space with these disrespectful bastards who coopt our lived experience for a moment of attempted self-actualisation, and that pain deserves to be acknowledged and soothed, not pushed away.

i wish i could give you a hug rn honestly because this shit just fucking sucks. i too wish i could go back to the time when these idiots werent even a concept in my mind or memory, but if there is any advice i can give you to help ease the torment of this constant barrage, it is this:

❤️🧡🤍🩷💖

1) know, for a fact, that nothing anyone, and i mean ANYONE says and no matter how loud they say it, will ever change the lived and exact reality of your innate sexuality.

nothing will ever magic away your lesbianism. it is wired into you, it IS you, a very central part of your personhood. that is not something that any words, especially words shat out of the asshole of a dickhead child on the internet, can ever change.

im not disregarding the hurt, im just reminding you that who you are, who you truly are, cannot change because of the words that hurt. especially because you know deep down that those words are not true.

because being a lesbian is who you are. it is not a quota to reach, or what you do, it is who we are. innately. you know where your natural attactions lie, what genders draw your attraction exclusively and without effort. you know that deep down. we are literally born this way. words cannot change that.

❤️🧡🤍🩷💖

2) the best thing to do whenever you accidentally glimpse said bullshit is to block them and focus on uplifting the actual lesbian community.

lesbians community is such an integral lifeline, i cannot emphasise the sheer importance of enough.

these idiots are, after all, idiots and do not deserve your energy, your time or your pain. they will never matter, and the truth is, they only exist on the internet among weirdos who have no sense of self so seek it by stealing bits and pieces from other peoples personal experience and identity.

they are and always will be inauthentic, unlike you.

❤️🧡🤍🩷💖

3) find and focus on the joy of your lesbianism individually and in lesbian community with other lesbians.

We lesbians are blessed to experience the best kind of human life possible: lesbianism.

our sexuality is bold and strong and proud and beautiful and brilliant and effervescent. it is perfect and brave and worthy of honor and praise and celebration and respect.

our community of lesbians is just as exquisite as we are individually. we are diverse and divine. every butch, femme, stud, stone, masc and feminine lesbian; every trans woman, transmasc, transfem and nonbinary lesbian; every black and brown and lesbian of color; every aromantic, asexual, aroace, non-partnering and polyamourous lesbian; every lesbian of every age and race is so overflown with wisdom and joy and love and brilliance. there is nothing more empowering as a lesbian and nothing that strengthens lesbian pride more than being in a community of lesbians and finding joy in ourselves through each other.

and im not just saying this to be mushy. i mean it. lesbians are divine, and thus, you are also divine.

you are perfect as a lesbian because you ARE a lesbian. you are incredible and intelligent and brilliant and brave.

nothing will change the brilliance of who you are, and in everything you are as a lesbian, you have a universe of lesbians who have been, who are and who will be, all of whom have not only been through the same and similar demeaning bs from the same kind of lesbophobic idiots, but they fought it back and survived and lived and thrived as lesbians.

you are just as strong as every lesbian who has been and is. and you are not alone. i promise you.

i am slowly rebuilding the community of lesbians on this blog that i had on my old one, but i promise you, on my blog you are safe. i swear, i will always always put lesbians first here, and that includes you. i will always defend and support and celebrate lesbians first here, and here you will find many other lesbians who will do the same.

❤️🧡🤍🩷💖

i know this was long, im sorry about that but i just need you to know that i see and feel your pain with you, and i need you to know that you arent going through it alone, and you are not alone.

we lesbians have always stuck together to defend and fight for one another, we have always survived, we have always been here, and we always will be.

i hope this reassures you in some way, and know you're always welcome and safe here ❤️🧡🤍🩷💖

[jemsbitch]

My chain of thorn thoughts (obviously cot spoilery)

Okay first of all: it was disappointing. Tlh was so hyped up I don’t think it could have ever lived up to its expectations. And the biggest problem is it huge cast of main characters that cassie couldn’t really develop and focus on everyone. And the fact that it’s set in the past, she is very limited by what she can do with it so that’s already all not of to a good start.

Now cot. I know she changed it to make it happier but honestly I’d much rather a realistic heartbreaking cot than this.

I’m not saying it’s very bad. The writing is still the same cassie writing. It’s the plot. The way everything shifts too fast or is dragged on too long.

Okay now let’s actually discuss cot:

Cordelia, James and Matthew:

The beginning of cordelia and Matthew in Paris was so good. I wanted and dreaded them kissing. And the most unexpected part for me in the entire cot is James in the room just when they were making out (I kind of what to find out what would have happened if James wasn’t there but then I feel like cordelia would have regretted it so much so I’m glad it didn’t go on)

And then James not telling cordelia is dumb as fuck. But then in my opinion it was in character? (But also it’s dragged on for too long that it just makes it frustrating. But i guess the theme in tlh is miscommunication so what did we expect) And lucie was right. But cordelia and James are too proud and they both could not see it and refused to be seen as weak

Proud of cordelia for having the conversation with Matthew no matter how hard it was (“am I hard to love?” Broke me made me feel as bad as cordelia felt)

Matthew FINALLY addressing his alcoholism and Alastair helping and it being realistic and all his friends there to help makes me so damn happy

I’m glad cassie didn’t shove a love interest at Matthew

I like how James and Matthew friendship have the time to mend (and cordelia and Lucie friendship too)

Lucie and Jesse:

Can’t think of anything bad about them to say

Cassie did give them many scenes so that’s a win for luciejesse fans

(Not really a ship I care about so idk what else to say about it except I can’t find a problem or anything especially good to say about so)

Oh I like their subplot like the problem with Lucie touching him and stuff and the way their relationship are honestly they are just very good

Grace:

Favourite Grace in tlh so far

You can see how much she has grew and changed as a character and honestly I feel so bad for her but I do not blame anyone’s reaction towards her at all

So proud of the tlh characters for treating her accordingly

I just like her in cot lol

Proud of her for having the guts to tell Jesse knowing he will hate her forever

Christopher:

Let me be brutally honest

I’m glad it was Christopher (as I only care about Alastair)

Because all the other characters are fan favourites or not that important

Think about it. Cassie cant kill Matthew James or cordelia, she cant kill tid characters. She absolutely cannot kill thomastairs. She cannot kill lucie and Jesse as well. I guess she could have killed Charles but then the impact will be nothing. Or Anna and Ariadne but I don’t think she will kill off a lesbian couple and Anna is an icon so. So of course it will be christopher

but honestly I feel so bad for Christopher stans

Like boy he is given dogshit

Literally he wasn’t even mention that much after the grief part and he was like briefly mentioned in epilogue but not really

We didn’t see his parents reaction to his death

And cordelia was way too focus on Matthew and James (understandable for her) then Christopher in the grief part, taking away most of the focus

I get how the book is already way too long (even tho I feel like it’s dragged on I feel like so many more things should have been included but at the same time idk what could have been cut) but Christopher does deserve better (even from a person that does not care about him I just feel bad)

Anyways rip to Christopher and his fans. Thoughts and prayers with you😔

Thomastairs:

Literally perfection

Cassie saw how mad we were about the lack of thomastairs in coi and apologised to us LMAO

We got everything we wanted and everything we could ever need (I mean Obv I wouldn’t mind more thomastairs scenes BUT I understand how she already gave us so much and we cannot be too greedy now can we)

I love Thomas lightwood so fucking much (before I only care about him for Alastair but he is so goddam cute)

Thomas lightwood is literally the only character that did not hide his feelings at all throughout cot (even in coi he didn’t hide it from Alastair (he just didn’t tell the others but he aren’t obliged to so)

He keeps confessing and reassuring Alastair no matter how many times Alastair makes excuses and doubts them

He spoke Farsi to Alastair. Thomas lightwood spoke Alastair’s mother tongue to him.

All the kisses and dialogues and scenes with them is just perfection

Alastair is as witty and useful as ever and Thomas is so nervous and cute and not him being one of the only ones grieving for Christopher

Anyways can you tell how much I just love them

Now the fucking plot:

It’s such a typical cliche ya plot that yeah it make sense for a ya book and i guess in some ways it is fathomable but at the same time it’s cheap it’s predictable it’s nothing unusual or exciting

It’s like the book cannot decide between being an action focus and character focus so it’s just a weird uncomfortable mixture between the two

And because readers have so much expectations because it’s about characters we already know and love and that’s why cassie had to be so careful

Ngl, I feel like she did her best with the limits she have (that she sets for herself in her previous books and shit)

But I just want the sadder version (unless it’s sad for thomastairs then im glad it’s this version)

(I didn’t mention ari and Anna because idk what else to say for them except same as how I feel about Lucie and Jesse)

I cannot say im satisfied but I also cant say im disappointed. More like I expected this and it’s just what I expected and it’s disappointing that it didn’t surprise or exceed my expectations

So yeah this is my cot thoughts.

Am I happy with cot? Not really? Am I disappointed? Maybe? Am I glad/relieved about the ending? Yeah

[evilbonehag]

Dorris/The Shadowy Dame Headcannons Because She’s Obviously My Favorite

(Please note, I’ve found next to zero info on her and I have not played The Outlast Trials, I’m just consuming everyone’s let’s plays of it, so some of this info might be wrong. Feel free to add or correct.)

• I love that Dorris is living proof that it is in fact possible to retire from doing trials. She got here by force of will and pure batshit insanity and is mildly popular around the Sleep Room because of this

• People tend to avoid her wherever she goes but not because people don’t like her, its just to avoid suspicion. She appreciates this.

• a fucking BEAST during the trials though. Easterman’s one mistake was letting a Native New Yorker into the facility. She runs fast and fights like an animal.

•By the end of her career, some of the ex-pops actually began to recognize her, making her a target in some cases, but giving her an advantage in others (I’d be willing to bet some of the grunts actually run in the other direction upon seeing her).

• “But Hemlock why would they do that?” She’s known for knocking out teeth idk what to tell you.

•Mildly afraid of Coyle but in a confrontational way. Will throw bricks and bottles at him because few hate cops more than Dorris.

• Gooseberry however, terrifies her. She avoids her at all costs when she can. She believes in evasion first with Phyllis, don’t confront.

• you can always tell where she is because she’s fucking shrieking like a banshee the entire time

• Coyle on Dorris: “That cheatin’ bitch in the slippers”

• post trials, totally different demeanor. Appears to be very nonchalant, but theres a deep haunted look in her eyes. Very often looking over her shoulder.

• checks everywhere for everything. Checks her food for foreign objects, checks her room for cameras, checks her bed for thumbtacks, etcetera etcetera.

• “Emily Barlow keeps her private life private” Yeah because she’s sapphic and Dorris has been subtly courting her for at least a year despite being pretty certain she’s married. It’s very much an ‘exchanging longing glances’ kind of relationship.

•Dorris sources some of her contraband through Emily because literally no one suspects her.

• Dorris and Emily tease each other in a way that makes everyone think theyre not on good terms.

•Dorris teases Cornelius in a way that makes him think theyre not on good terms. He’s actually one of her favorite people but she won’t tell him that.

• Jewish!!!

• I like to think her scar is from the Pouncer. Dorris specifically has nightmares about that, mostly because she feels uniquely sorry for almost fucking murdering the poor girl.

• Mildly interested in Marxism and alternative systems of economics and government, but cannot be vocal about it because she knows she’ll be targeted.

• was known for helping her teammates/dragging them out of danger while swearing at them the whole time. “Move your ass, kid. You don’t get to bleed out and die here unless I fucking say so.”

• Lesbian :)))

[dehydratedpercy]

hey hey hey!! i'm about to finish my umpteenth reread of preserve or raze and i just wanted to shower you with love because you literally cannot imagine how much i adore your fic oh my gods

first off. the characters sir. the characters. i like every single one of them more than in canon and that's saying something because i loved them a lot in the first place

jason grace? absolute perfection. hazel levesque? frank is the most relatable character ever because i too am such a damn simp for her. frank himself? ultimate best boy. and percy? *fanboy sounds intensify* yeah that should be enough of an answer. i love him your honour. nico di angelo? adored him back then adore him now. also long hair in a bun!nico lives rent free in my head. and annabeth? she's one of the only characters i didn't like much in the original books anyway but such kudos to you for writing her denial arc about percy, it was so amazingly written and god. truly all i can offer is admiration

not to mention how much i long to take part in those cuddle parties and movie nights with the gang

also hell yeah lesbian piper and rachel. you were doing god's work fixing the former character's writing tbh

and the plot itself is SO GOOD. like. it's not a coincidence that it can fully hold my autistic ass's attention all the way through even though it's 277k words at this point. it's truly one of the best things i've read and that is saying something because i read A Lot

so. god. thank you so much for this masterpiece!! and please keep going!! this book means more to me than you can imagine

(but ofc, please only do so within your boundaries and while putting yourself first - just in case it wasn't obvious /gen)

i hope you're doing well and that the rest of your day is gonna be great <3

all the best, jay

Hi jay!! This is an old ask, but that is only because it delighted me so much that I wanted to keep it in my ask box for a while to appreciate it.

"first off. the characters sir. the characters. i like every single one of them more than in canon and that's saying something because i loved them a lot in the first place"

YES let's talk characters. Rick did a great job setting up the basics, okay? Okay. He did great. It has been my honor to just EXPAND upon the basics, which, also, were mostly 13 year olds who didn't cuss. But they were SO badass, they really deserved better-- like, idk, to be in their 20s, to have mature relationship drama/hookups, to be even more dramatic and less goody-two-shoes, and yes, of course, to swear up a storm. FRANK DESERVES TO SAY FUCK.

You know those first few chapters of Mark of Athena (told from Annabeth's POV) where she sees Jason acting all regal (and yet still kinda fucked up), she sees Percy acting all buddy buddy with Frank and Hazel (and it makes her feel nervous/worried), she interacts with Reyna (and there's this weird underlying tension)? And its generally just about... two cultures combining and problem solving together and a bunch of characters we love acting hesitant around each other because they don't know who's a threat and who's not? Well, PoR was VERY inspired by those chapters. I read those chapters and went "You know what would be nice? 250k words of this" and then thats what I spent the next three years writing.

"jason grace? absolute perfection. hazel levesque? frank is the most relatable character ever because i too am such a damn simp for her. frank himself? ultimate best boy. and percy? *fanboy sounds intensify* yeah that should be enough of an answer. i love him your honour. nico di angelo? adored him back then adore him now. also long hair in a bun!nico lives rent free in my head. and annabeth? she's one of the only characters i didn't like much in the original books anyway but such kudos to you for writing her denial arc about percy, it was so amazingly written and god. truly all i can offer is admiration"

Hazel is chill but also lowkey magical and wonderful. Frank is 100% right to feel such strong admiration of her. And yes, Frank is DEFINITELY the best boy, and not only because he turns into a very cute pug. PERCY. Love of my life, waterer of my crops.

"and annabeth? she's one of the only characters i didn't like much in the original books anyway but such kudos to you for writing her denial arc about percy, it was so amazingly written and god. truly all i can offer is admiration"

Okay, the Annabeth thing is so interesting because I've heard a LOT of people say they didn't like her in the books?? Which shocks me, because I thought she was great. I really projected heavily onto Percy, but I liked Annabeth and their relationship a lot. I think fanon Annabeth gets a little messy, so maybe the issue is that people struggle when figuring out how to interpret her-- they either see her as really basic, or really controlling and mean. Personally, I think Annabeth is a lot more than either of those things: she's the type of person who's in touch with her emotions, but is constantly fighting between logic and emotions, deciding what is the smartest thing to do versus what is the thing she is most called to do. The people surrounding her at camp pigeonhole her into being logical, because "Annabeth wouldn't do something irrational" "Annabeth is smart, she should act like it" "Annabeth should always think things through". That's why she works so well with percy-- he DOESN'T think things through, he totally flies by the seat of his pants and acts on his emotions every time, even when its going to fuck him up. Percy shows Annabeth that it's okay to act emotionally instead of rationally-- that you can still get places that way. Annabeth lived a life where everyone else was holding her back, and then met Percy, and Percy was one of the first people who didn't try to hold her back. If anything, he encouraged her to push further, yell louder, and just-- be more.

So yeah. I do, genuinely, love Percabeth. And I'm glad this fic has made you appreciate them-- or at least Annabeth-- more ;)

"not to mention how much i long to take part in those cuddle parties and movie nights with the gang"

HELL!!!! YEAH!!!!

"also hell yeah lesbian piper and rachel. you were doing god's work fixing the former character's writing tbh"

THANK!!!! YOU!!!!! Look all I'm saying is. Piper and Rachel should've been canon. Piper's SUCH a hippie. The way she dresses, the way she thinks-- yes. She needs, NEEDS, an artist girlfriend. And Rachel-- UGH, you don't understand, she wants Piper so bad. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.

Should've been canon, I'm telling you.

"and the plot itself is SO GOOD. like. it's not a coincidence that it can fully hold my autistic ass's attention all the way through even though it's 277k words at this point. it's truly one of the best things i've read and that is saying something because i read A Lot"

I'm honored 😭🥰 The true miracle is that it held my autistic ass's attention for long enough to write that much in the first place, holy shit. This was a special interest to rival God. I have really, really loved writing it though, so I'm glad you've enjoyed it so much :') ❤️❤️❤️

"so. god. thank you so much for this masterpiece!! and please keep going!! this book means more to me than you can imagine"

🥰🥰🥰 Thank you!! And good news for you, these upcoming days/weeks I will be writing the remaining chapters and continuing/finishing this story! My current job gives me a LOT of free time so I think it's only right that I use it to give PoR the conclusion it deserves.

Thanks so much for the ask and all the love. I wish you wonderful reading and a wonderful day as well!

-Atlas

[stoiicist]

reyna sexuality headcanon. let’s go. (ps this got looong so undercut for your dashboard’s sake)

let’s start with young reyna. she doesn’t really have time to think about love or crushes. she hears about them in passing, on tv and in pop songs and from giggling girls at school. reyna doesn’t quite get why the other girls squeal and laugh when one of the boys come over and tries to hold one of their hands, but she laughs along with them because that’s what she’s supposed to do. she doesn’t get why as they grow older, her friends start to care more about what boys think of them than what their next math test is over, isn’t familiar with the feelings of butterflies the other girls supposedly get when one particular boy in the grade above them walks past. reyna does know, however, that she likes looking at the poster of selena that hylla keeps on her wall a little too much, but she tries not to think about that.

her life is kind of a huge shitty mess, ya know with the abusive father and demigod bullshit on her plate since she was like four years old, so if you were to ask her what she thought about love or if she had any crushes, she would just tell you that she’s too focused on school to think about those sort of things. even on circe’s island, when the other hairdressers spend hours talking about love and crushes long after the lights had gone out and reyna gets a better understanding of what love is supposed to feel like, it still doesn’t make sense to her the same way it does to the other girls. reyna tries to look at the boys and men who come to their little island the same way they do, but it feels forced and uncomfortable and unnatural. not at all like the other girls describe.

it’s not until a blonde girl around her age arrives on circe’s island that reyna understands what the other girls meant when they talked about their crushes, that flash flood of nervous excitement they mention every time something tall, dark, and handsome washes upon their shore. she is quiet and fierce-eyed and not at all like the other girls they tend to. this girl isn’t disoriented and cheery like them. she watches them with those grey eyes, both intimidating and distracting, and reyna finds her fingers fumbling as she tries to untangle her hair. 

the feeling in her chest is uncomfortable, as she watches the girl in quiet admiration. but the other girls never talked about girls like they talk about boys, so something tells reyna she shouldn’t share this little discovery with the other hairdressers. but she ends up not having to worry about that, because that girl helps that boy destroy her home and reyna never sees any of the other hairdressers ever again.

reyna knows she shouldn’t, knows hylla would scold her if she ever knew, but she sometimes catches herself thinking about that blonde, quick-witted girl anyways.

shit happens. she has to fight for her life again, so all that angst gets put on the back burner. she’s too busy grieving her home, her separation from hylla, proving her strength to lupa to even think about the blonde girl, much less try to sort out what it means for her. she arrives at camp jupiter and reyna is hoping to finally have some structure in her life. a place to figure herself out and figure out what she wants in her life. 

and then she meets jason. they butt heads at first, but they eventually grow to be close friends. they share similar views on their hopes for the future of CJ, a shared loyalty to new rome and their fellow demigods, and both often find themselves in position of leadership together. when they’re eventually made praetors, reyna isn’t the least bit surprised. but that only means more hours spent together, more sharing in struggles and job stress; their bond deepens significantly.

when reyna thinks about it, he’s everything she should want in a guy. he’s strong and brave and kind and he makes her feel less alone than she really is. but he doesn’t give her butterflies or the same captivated feeling that blonde girl on circe’s island did. but reyna tries to think of him as something more than her best friend. after all, it’s what’s expected of them. they’re co-praetors. that sort of thing happens all the time ( at least, that’s what people said ). in fact, she heard about it so much that reyna just started expecting it to happen one day. that one day, she would look at jason and feel that something and he would look at her and he’d feel it too and they would maybe kiss and that would be the beginning of the end. 

and then he disappears, in the midst of reyna trying to figure out her feelings for him. and that sure throws a wrench in things, doesn’t it, because it’s even harder to figure out her feelings for him when she’s missing him and she’s overworked and she’s worried about whether he’s even alive. it’s easier to confuse those feelings for romantic love, it’s much, much easier love the idea of jason, the idea of jason as her boyfriend, when the reality is nowhere near her.

and then comes along percy. reyna is tired to the bone, more alone than she’s ever been. she’s been running the camp for months, a job meant for two, surrounded by merciless senators and legionnaires prepared to devour her if she falters even a bit. it’d make anyone desperate for a partner. she offers the position of praetorship to percy, but because of what they talked about before with her and jason, it sounds like she’s offering more. she isn’t, really. she only keeps the option open to percy, because of what people expect from praetors, expect from her. he declines and reyna’s relieved, until the realization that she will continue to shoulder the responsibilities alone hits.

when jason returns, the way he looks at her doesn’t ever change and part of her is grateful for that, because try as she might, she can only ever look at jason, think about being in love with him, and feel like something is forced. like trying to put a puzzle piece in the wrong spot. she knew he needed to be in her picture, that just wasn’t the right place for him.

she meets jason’s friends, obviously has a lot of conflicted feelings over that because there’s that blonde girl again ( her name is annabeth ) and how can reyna be sure this isn’t just the effect of charmspeak ( or maybe piper’s always this alluring ), but then they fire on her camp and they’re enemies on the battlefield so that puts figuring everything out on hold again. sometimes the thoughts creep into her head at night when she’s alone and she’s tired and she wants to think of anything but the war they’re fighting. it usually doesn’t make her feel any better.

a part of her has always known, not in explicit terms, but just knowing that something was different about her. the sneaking suspicion that all the romantic indifference she’s ever felt towards men had to mean something, she just wasn’t sure what. for a while, she thought she just wasn’t interested in romance at all. that she was one of those people that would be alone forever with a couple dogs, or maybe live with her best ( female ) friend and be happy about it.

and then she talks with nico, because there isn’t really any hiding anything when reyna can feel all his emotions wash over her like a tidal wave, and he talks about cupid and his recovering from that and coming to terms with it, and reyna’s like why the hell does that sound a lot like me...

and then there’s no denying it, or talking around it, or trying to explain away the feelings she’s had since she was young. she’s a lesbian! she’s gay! and it feels good to finally have a word for it and daunting to wake up the next day knowing exactly who she is and what she wants and comforting to know she has a group of friends who will do nothing but celebrate this with her. :^)

i could probably write a shit ton more but this is so goddamn long and i need this out of my drafts anjfdnfkf so yeah here’s like the mainverse closest-to-canon lesbian reyna hc i got for ya. if you read this im sorry about your eyes

[bullsandthebones]

my friends and I are talking about our headcanons for ST characters so, here's mine! some of these are just haha funnies bc I think they're dumb

Eddie:

-he/it

-very gay, very homo

-tries to explain it/its pronouns to Steve

-makes fun of Steve's hair products

-makes "ur mom"/" ur dad" jokes

-calls Steve to help him brush out his hair

-wears croptops

-trans ftm

-cannot cook

-fnaf lvr

-knows the lore of every analog horror ever

-loves walten files the most

-puts dice in his mouth. (we all do, cmon)

-has probably almost swallowed a die

-it was probably a d4

-hurt like hell

Steve:

-doesn't understand pronouns

-mentally blue screens when Eddie and Robin try and explain pronouns

-starts sobbing when neos get put into the mix

-defo himbo but very supportive anyways

-bisexual w/ a lean for the ladies

-has made one deez nuts joke and immediately regretted it

-sobs while brushing Eddie's hair

-has definitely tried on a skirt

-definitely cannot cook

Robin:

-she/they + any neos

-makes deez nuts jokes with Dustin

-canon lesbian, I would never change that

-hates tryna teach Steve about pronouns

-amazing cook, "yes chef" "thank you chef"

-can probably sew

-most definitely makes special clothes for her besties

-wears two different shoes

-cool bitch syndrome

-would probably be really good at ddr and fnf

Nancy:

-she/her 😐

-hetero 😐

-ally (talk valentina! ally!)

-loves Johnathan no matter what his genitals are <3

-can definitely cook

-secretly has read lotr

-probably ate sand as a kid

-if she was a dog she'd be a poodle.

-gets Robin fabric for her projects

Johnathan:

-trans ftm <333

-he/him

-definitely laughs at deez nuts jokes

-mmmm bisexual?

-maybe pansexual

-ooo definitely pansexual

-probably can't hold his liquor

-threw up the first time he hit a bong

-didn't know how to pack a bowl for a long time

-Argyle had to teach him

-actually cooks better when high

Argyle:

-I'll be honest, I haven't finished s4

-idk much about him

-probably he/they

-gives me pansexual vibes

-makes the most raunchy jokes

-has the weirdest cravings when high

Billy:

-"nor/mal"

-"okay but what's between your legs?"

-idfk, probably bisexual but he's got too much internalized homophobia

Dustin:

-wh/at

-por/que

-desperately trying to learn pronouns but he doesn't understand very well

-honestly? straight

-makes deez nuts jokes. it's the funniest shit to him

-has never cooked

-only uses the microwave

-ramen forever

-is quite literally the biggest ally

-the best guy

-the "bro code" probably doesn't matter to him

-will tell on you if you're cheating 👁👁

-feminist

Mike:

-dumb/bitch

-stupid/whore

-I hate him I'm sorry

-probably bi but like Billy, too much internalized homophobia

-misgenders people when they anger him

Lucas:

-I'll be honest

-I'm torn

-probably says pronouns don't exist

-but uses he/they

-straight?

-idk he's confusing

Max:

-non binary

-they/she

-bisexual and on the ace spectrum

-hates fem clothing

-is a bitch when you get pronouns wrong

-will fight transphobes

-probably would do softball

-that's a gay sport right?

-I'm pretty sure it is

-salty when they lose to Robin at ddr

-loves fnaf

-hates that Eddie loves fnaf

-probably more into gemini entertainment than any of the other analog horrors

-plays tlou religiously

-loves zombie games

Eleven:

-agender but is okay with she/her

-aroace spec!

-doesn't have a set sexuality, isn't sure on labels

-mimics Dustin's jokes

-Hopper gets upset at that

-doesn't understand video games but loves watching max play

-is actually pretty good at ddr

-I'm sorry, I love ddr

-has also put dice in their mouth

-Eddie dared them to

Will:

-doesn't have the energy to figure out gender labels

-doesn't care about his own pronouns

-call him whatever

-gay but,,, on the aro spectrum, probably grayromantic

-plays the dark pictures anthology

-loves little hope the most

-has tried to get others to play them

-failed

-wears two different socks

-is probably really good at kickball but he's too scared of getting laughed at

-me too man

that's uh, that's all. you're welcome.

[fox-steward]

hi. i hope you don't mind me asking this but i need some advice.

i was born female, and ive always been a tomboy, sometimes in the most stereotypical way. i was also a little lesbian who didn't know it yet. but after my younger sibling came out to me as trans, i started second guessing everything about myself.

for the sake of my sibling, who im closer to than anyone in my life, i learned about what theyre going through to support them and ended up getting taken in myself. i consumed all the yaoi and gay fanfiction they did, i read up on all the identities that were within the trans umbrella and eventually i started to think i wasnt a girl at all, but my infact a feminine transboy.

i never was able to transition on account of my family but the growing inner hate i felt for myself made me want to because deep down I knew that no matterr what i said or believed, id never be the cis gay boys i, essentially, fetishised and craved to be. it made me miserable, but i wanted to be accepted so badly that i stuck with it. but then i fou d your blog and others like it, and reading through it, whole reevaluating myself made me realise how misguided my mindset was.

despite realising that me being a tomboy is perfectly fine, i cant help but cling to that idea of being a boy, even though i have no idea what it means to "be a boy" or "feel like a boy". all i know is what the media portrays boys, feminine boys and gay boys to be like, and i clung to that idea for so long that i believed it to be my identity.

i just wanted to ask, if i can, how can i get over this mindset? i feel terrible because my younger sibling still identifies as trans without a shadow of a doubt, and my questioning of myself makes me feel awful, but i also feel bad because... i dont know who i am really now. how can i just be me again?

sorry this is long. any advice would be very very much appreciated.

it sounds like you’ve been through it, anon. whew! i just wanna acknowledge what a mindfuck you’ve been through, and it’s normal to feel no so great.

i actually think you’re grieving, strange as that sounds, but hear me out. being female is not easy, being a masculine woman comes with its own set of challenges, and imagining yourself as a “gay transboy” was an escape from all that. you could imagine a future for yourself where you grew up to be a gay man, not a gay woman. it’s worth noting relationships between men are the only sexual/romantic pairing that isn’t party to misogyny within the relationship itself.

it’s intoxicating to imagine we could have that ourselves, huh? it happened to me too, and i’m not even actually attracted to males at all, i was really just seduced by the idea of a relationship of equals.

but this. is. a. fantasy. one we as female people can never achieve.

so you’re grieving the vision you had for your future. your grief doesn’t care that the thing you promised yourself is impossible.

you’re undergoing another shift in the way you see yourself, the way you imagine yourself moving through the world. that’s hard, anon. being a tomboy, while absolutely lovely and perfectly fine, can be really difficult in our misogynistic society. it’s like that dworkin quote i’m about to butcher—something something absolutely excruciating to be fully aware of the misogyny all around us. you get the gist. and she’s right, but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth it.

so idk, i don’t have any specific advice, but i do know a lot about grief. with grief, you gotta accept you’re gonna feel shitty for a while and absolve yourself of the responsibility of ~fEeLiNg HaPpY~ for now. i’m being flippant because happiness is a mirage anyway. we get pricks of joy, moments of brightness or laughter, flow and contentment, enjoyment, pleasure, and these fill in between other moments of discomfort or monotony or tedium or malaise or or or. and if we’re lucky we are aware when the good stuff is happening, so that we can pause and say, gee this is nice. and if you get enough of then and you’re aware enough as they’re happening, perhaps you can tie it up in a bow of hindsight and call it contentment.

tangent, sorry. practically, keep yourself busy and tire yourself the fuck out, tbh. when my wife left, i started just going and doing things, anything i didn’t actively NOT want to do. dancing, concerts, art class, bike ride, walk a friends dog, cooking class, sit in a field and listen to music.

just do anything. i know it’s hard during covid, but it isn’t so much WHAT you do but THAT you do. take the field example—you have to travel there (that kills time!) and maybe you walk or bike (that is physical activity) then you do the thing you planned to do (takes more time) and you have to travel home (more time and activity) then you have completed something you set out to do (an achievement/free endorphins).

i also took up running when she left (tire myself the fuck out) and that changed so much for me. with grief, rumination and sleeplessness plagued me; running took both those out of the equation. so my sleep improved, i got stronger and my cardiovascular fitness improved, i ate better, i got to see myself improve and achieve goals, got to build an identity separate from who i was in my marriage. so i cannot recommend running enough.

and as for identity, finding out “who you are”—identity is a trap. don’t cement yourself to any one thing because everything changes. don’t define yourself by externalities, just be open and curious about your inner life, your qualities (which are also able to change btw) and start to strengthen the ones you like, like training a muscle. i practice (literally practice) kindness and discipline, which are important qualities for how i see myself. i also practice at compassion and i like how these things make me feel and how i show up in the world when i’m practicing at them. what qualities will you train in yourself?

you’re not defined in relation to your sibling, btw, and they aren’t defined in relation to you. you can question transness while still loving them.

you’re gonna be just fine, anon. you have plenty of time. grieve the future you can’t have, even though it’s truly for the best, and cultivate a person in yourself you’re excited to be. good luck.

[raisinchallah]

im unsure truly how to reenter the world i feel like i try to discuss things with my mom or my friends and is like.. this wall of positivity without anything material because like sure one can say i have my life ahead of me but in many ways i see myself as like removed from time i may be 22 and that may seem young now but i have been stuck like this since i was 15 whats another 7 years you know like would u be so hopeful when im 30, 40 etc like the nebulous idea of having more time has done so little to materially allow me to exit my pathetic little hole i have dug for myself and cannot leave like there is literally no roadmap and its so utterly unbearably depressing how just saying basic details of my life makes it so difficult to like make friends or find connections its like barring me from leaving where i am and every bad experience just makes me retreat more i honestly dont know if i can ever hold a long term job and i truly dont know if there is any future for me and i just so desperately want some kind of honesty and realistic ideas about a future for myself its so weird cuz i truly also have seen so few people who have lives like mine or even like read about anyone who lives like me and has escaped i swear to god like my lesbian experience with loneliness is one of the few times ive ever seen any person discuss their life and felt like it spoke to my experience and like she is still insanely depressed and hasnt really seemed to do a ton better even after achieving some flavor of minimal success you know and also like the few other people ive heard about pulling themselves out of severe isolation had a life line i dont really have like maybe they had a job they continued to work or a few like irl friends in their area they could start seeing more often and idk i just really so deeply dont feel like a human being anymore and truly do not know where to turn or what to do... i just got out of a truly horrid job situation and feel more hopeless than ever like is there a place in this world for me or is there a timer that is rapidly running out of time..

[the-gayest-tree-you-ever-did-see]

literally ✨samantha✨

also unrelated but a long time ago she posted her dog with like a rainbow scarf on pride with a a lgbt supportive caption :))

I know!! i remember when i was younger thinking that i was the only queer indian person like??? bitch you’re not that special lmao..

i get what you mean about home, coming out means essentially losing a connection to your culture and heritage. it’s scary to think of how much i would be losing in order to be authentically me and honestly idk if i could ever come out. i’m rlly glad that you exist as an online person like i cannot put into words how grateful i am to have found you (insert sappy tears) cause it’s like reassurance that i can still be connected to my culture and be queer :’)

(also idk if any Indian actress was my gay awakening or if i has one.. maybe like kristen stewart lol)

awe discourse:

you bring up so many valid points! i hate to think that it made it worse for so many people instead of raising awareness like it wanted to do. also the lesbianism is in my blood made me giggle. can’t say that there are any lesbians in my bloodline personally but i did come out of the womb a raging homosexual

mWAh 💐 <3 (what can i say, i move fast 😉)

also i did bring u flowers

- indi

.

.

mwah! (totally got you with a surprise kiss)

soooo true, like idk if youve seen ashta chamma but when the girls at the beginning are losing their minds over mahesh babu getting married? that was me when samantha got married like ma'am 😭 im right here!

bestie where??? i spent half on hour scouring for it, she posts so many pics of her dogs im 😤 miss ma'am i get it but please

lmao i did that too! i actually have a diary entry of me cerca like age 10 if i'm the only telugu gay girl, then i can never go to india again like yeah i was devastated but. in hindsight that was hilarious (to be fair i was reading a lot of ya novels at the time so i thought i was The Only Special One

its the exact same for me! like i know when i get older and come out and live as myself, i'll still cook telugu food and watch telugu movies and maybe even perform telugu poojas for the heck of it, but it still feels like i'll be losing something. like i'll never have a wedding with my grandparents yelling at people for the food and decor.... my uncles and cousins will never help me get ready before.... i'll never be rubbed in turmeric by my cousins and no one will do my gorintaku and feed me tirupati ladoos.... i know in the long run i wont miss it, but i still feel a bit sad that even if i get married in a hindu, telugu fashion as the groom, i wont be able to get married with my humungous entended family watching. 😔

but i do know that i will find other queer indian people, and maybe even more queer telugu people, and i'll have a family i made myself, and people by my side that i chose, and that will be more than enough.

(babe every time i watched an indian movie with an item song id be like i am looking respectfully...... wait why am i looking? so pretty much every actress i saw in my formative years was their own awakening) (i think an american gay awakening would be anne hathaway? shes amazing)

im glad you think im funny lol. i like thinking about my bloodline (ironically since im the one whos gonna end it) bc like... i cannot be the only queer person in my family. like i cant. so queerness is in my blood somewhere, and that makes me feel a little better about myself. its actually what helped me smack away my internalized homophobia (for the most part) bc what can i do about it if the gay gene is floating inside me? 😌

💐 wow these flowers are so beautiful! ill keep them in a vase right here 🍶 to remind me of you <3

.

.

🥰😚 ah you got me! i love you indi 💖

[dangdiggitydang]

rotbtd tag game

i was tagged by @hobie-brown :D

this could get long...

name/nickname? mags! my favourite one atm is magatron

how did you get into rotbtd? saw some fanart on google images while i was perusing through the httyd fanart as a ten year old and never looked back. deviant art and youtue amvs became my vices after that.

what made you stay/come back? httyd 3 actually! even though it's my least favourite of the trilogy, it made me so nostalgic for rotbtd. also the content now is so much better than it used to be imo.

out of the four movies, which one is your favourite? httyd1 definitely. i think its the most well written and constructed (tangled is a close second) and the soundtrack is amazing. while i think brave and rotg aren't as narratively strong, they have the same heart and loveable characters as the other two. tbh, i thoroughly enjoy watching all of them

dreamworks dragons or rapunzel’s tangled adventure? i ADORED rob and dob and i used to watch it episode by episode on abc3, but i haven't gotten around to watching all of rtte yet. tbh...i don't like the characterisation in rtte very much, something just feels off about it. character and plot wise, i don't have anything against rapunzel's tangled adventure, but some of it gets boring and repetitive after a while. this is a long winded way of saying i prefer dreamwork's dragons, but just rob and dob ig.

which one do you prefer to be made a sequel of, brave or rise of the guardians? like @hobie-brown said, disney should not be trusted with merida or any of her family. that being said! a rotg sequel would be a dream come true!! there's so much lore and world building that needs to be explored!! i have so many questions. how did the other guardians die? they mentioned the groundhog, are there other spirits?? are there different ones from other cultures?? and obviously there's will joyce's series to take inspiration from as well. imo, a series would work better to explore everything. (also give me a pitch black redemption arc. i LIVE for the villain-turned-awkward-relative trope)

otp/brotp(s)? my otp is hiccstrid and i think eugene and rapunzel is one of disney's most solid romances so there's that. jarida!! my beloved!! tbh, i was indifferent to jarida until like three months ago but now i cannot stop thinking abt them. in terms of brotps? all of them. literally any. the best thing abt the rotbtd revival is the lack of ship wars and the realisation that all of them have wonderful and distinct chemistry between any other member of the group.

favourite characters? httyd and brave were my gateways into this fandom, so i guess hiccup and merida?? but i actively kin rapunzel and jack has so many unexplored character traits beyond Ice Themed Bad Boy That Pulls Pranks. idk man, don't make me pick.

favourite au(s)? BAND AU. OMG i LOVE BAND AUs. @risoris made an awesome band au and a fic to go with it and i think i cried when i saw it. some of my other favourites are: office aus, superhero aus or camp counsellors aus (which @ven-finn has drawn art for ;))

pick one! favourite b4 house placement in hogwarts au? im not as into hp as i was before bc of reasons but my headcanons for house placements are: hiccup - ravenclaw, rapunzel - gryffindor, merida - slytherin, jack - hufflepuff

pick one! since this is 2021, any hot takes you want to give us? | what old fanon tropes that you still enjoyed to this day? hm. i think old fanon tropes were frustratingly heteronormative and surface-level. some hot takes... umm

when merida's old and her kingdom's passed onto her brothers or her heir (if she has one), her retirement plan is to go live in the woods and become the resident cryptid.

any aus that take away hiccup's disability is yuck.

i mentioned this in an earlier question, but jack has SO MUCH character beyond the basic bad boy arcetype everyone placed him in during early fandom. like, the boy needs therapy but not in the way wattpad boys need therapy y'know?

in general, i think old fandom lacked a lot of nuance when it came to the characters, especially when they were all together so im glad that's starting to change!

in a modern au, raps would DEFINITELY be on art tiktok. like those mirror painting trends and the cottagecore aesthetics remind me so much of her.

everyone thought that jack would play hockey bc he's ice themed and everything, when in fact 1) he uses his staff much more like a lacrosse stick than a hockey stick and 2) you think that twink isnt the resident smart ass who makes fun of the sports people at the risk of being punched in the face?

any fic recs? or if you couldn't think of any, what was the last rotbtd fanfiction that you read? the last one i think i read was @risoris 's 'Like A Fist In The Eye' which is a jarida soulmates au but with a twist that they hate eachother. it's only got one chapter and they haven't met yet, but im in love with it. a few i'd recommend are:

we cannot be friends (cannot pretend it makes sense) which is a platonic merida and hiccup fic with added hiccstrid and lesbian merida

Jack Frost and the Shadows of Van der Bor which is a jarida hogwarts fic!

im tagging @risoris and @therearedragonsindunbroch if they haven't already seen/done this!

[matoitech]

hello u dont have to answer this if u dont want, but ur situation with gender is scarily similar to where im at except im in the mindset that im nb wlw and dont rlly kno whats going on. I guess if u kno how to explain it, I wanted to ask how u made that jump or how u could tell it isnt just a "womanhood is like that" kind of thing and is actually "i am a guy"

oh man i wish i had smth that would make it Click for u easier cuz i def understand being rly confused abt this kinda thing.. i got a few Thoughts, idk if they will help u out but hopefully they give u some more thoughts to chew on that will maybe help anyway. this got so long oh hell sorry gbfhg

i think like the main thing as like a tip b4 we get in2 the Meat of it is it is good to relax and b open to thinking abt bein a guy as a possibility, i dont know if this will make sense bc i do not know how to explain it rly but when i was struggling 2 figure stuff out what i had rly needed 2 know was that being a dif gender can just feel like You (but as u become more comfortable w it, you but happier!) for some reason i thought u had to meet certain criteria to b ‘allowed’ to make what seemed 2 me at the time a Leap but thats not how it works lol. u as u r right now can b a guy if u want to or r considering it. u dont have to feel different and u dont have to think abt ur body a different way or anything. sry if this part doesnt make sense its difficult for me to verbalize lol

it was hard for me personally bc ppl would b like ‘if u Want to b a dif gender than b one’ but like i said in those last posts, for a long time i genuinely did not know i Wanted to be a guy/was a guy, or whatever. i had no conscious longing about it or anything, that came later once i was more comfortable w accepting it. i didnt have ‘i want to be a boy/am a boy’ moments i can rly consciously remember putting into those words as a kid, cuz i just did not care about gender on that level till i was a teenager. like i cannot stress this enough, ur life and feelings abt gender n whatever do not have to match up with what u have commonly heard the trans experience is about. once u figure stuff out and r more comfortable w urself u may look back and notice things that may b like that common trans experience, but remembering this stuff or having these childhood experiences or whatever in the first place is not a ‘requirement’. like i said, no requirements for bein a dif gender

for me like.. knowing it for sure... making the Jump as it were. like its kinda embarrassing but literally the way i Found Out was i was feeling all sorts of things whenever i watched promare and i just felt this INTENSE longing whenever i saw galo that i later realized was just me rly feeling the Gender w him and being envious of that.. it had happened w other chars b4 growing up, but i had never rly noticed to that extent till now. and one night i was thinking my usual ‘i wish i looked like galo i wish i could be a guy’ maybe for the first time in like a Conscious thought, when i had never rly heard it in words b4, and i kinda stopped and was like. what? i WHAT? and then it clicked and it was like a euphoric moment for me. easily top 5 best 2 ams of my life. it is kind of a hyperspecific experience but it is also not UNCOMMON rly lol

also figuring out my sexuality was intertwined in that bc i was iding as a butch nonbinary lesbian and i had tossed the idea of ‘maybe id b more comfortable as a man’ around a bit but the idea of being a straight man didnt feel right 2 me, but luckily i kind of made the connection of wait im a man and im attracted to men at like the exact same time, it had to b both at once for me personally to figure it out and b happy about it. idk if thats smth going thru ur head at all but it was for me and was part of my Journey i guess and may help to think abt it a bit lol

and while yes its absolutely about what makes u more comfortable at the end of the day, i think it wouldve helped for me to hear ppl say that just bc the idea of being a dif gender (in this case Man) might make u feel confused and maybe even uncomfortable rn, that doesnt necessarily mean u r not one if youve been struggling w this and wondering, it might just mean u havent had that clicky moment and r ready to rly think abt it yet. i have grown much more comfortable w myself over time as ive figured this stuff out and i am still open to figuring out more abt myself and i think thats a good place to b at! just b open to stuff like this that u maybe had never thought would have a positive effect on you or make you happier.

speaking from experience i think if ur confused and maybe even miserable telling urself that womanhood is just like that and u gotta suck it up and get used to feeling uncomfortable and bad, u dont have to live like that! im not saying that ‘oh im actually a guy’ is gonna b what everyone who is struggling w thats answer is cuz obviously thats not true- and im not saying how i just described it is even how u feel- but like. as someone who thought that same thing but less consciously. womanhood does not have to be a confusing sad experience, its not an inherently miserable experience, it is possible it just isnt for you and trying smth else might make u feel better. and that can b rly hard to figure out in the moment, cuz ur Used to feeling like this and even if youve heard it can b different it might b hard to have that ‘oh theyre talking to ME, it can be different for ME not just everyone else’ moment lol

also i dont know if this is relevant to u but im saying it in general 2 anyone who needs it i guess; being a man isnt a bad thing and it doesnt make u an inherently bad person, manhood and masculinity r not inherently or naturally toxic or something. thats a harmful mindset to have for multiple reasons and a whole nother post so im not gonna b like and now a word about transphobic red flags but like, worth mentioning that that can b harmful or dangerous to trans ppl, transmascs and transfems.

my god this got rly long... if anyone else has went thru a similar thing and has anything 2 add, feel free to :0 hope i somehow got around to answering ur question w all the rambling! i am just one guy and my experience may or may not b helpful to hear about, especially bc my memory is not the best lol <3 hope it helped at all tho!

[straighttohellbuddy]

🥺🧡 Im gonna send a snippet in my next ask!! Also I’m cool w/you posting it. If anything it might actually give me the push bc I have ideas!!! but most ppl I often scream abt ideas with are in different fandoms and they’re not too keen on corpse so it’s low-key awkward but my fixation does not let me rest lmao. I have been working on a playlist for the fic tho and I’m trying to group it in order of kinda progression in the fic if that makes sense? but atm the current playlist is just jumbled mess. STOP THATS SO COOL omg pls find a way for it to come up as a discussion point between reader and corpse bc that kinda stuff makes the dopamine HIT. I am excited for this music adventure n I hope life helps you find the right people to work with on that!!! -🐈‍⬛

I LOVED THE SNIPPET DUDE!! also i definitely feel ya on the ‘friends in different fandoms aren’t too keen on corpse/yt’ hence why i have a wholeass YT sideblog. cannot BELIEVE corpse revived my yt blog. my older posts are SO INCREDIBLY EMBARRASSING it was from 2014. someone liked a gifset of eef from idk how long ago where i was relentlessly thirsting in the tags, like, NO past me, you’ve got gender envy and an aesthetic attraction, but you are a Fucking NB Lesbian please calm down. but that’s a whole other thing. 

i’ve got too many playlists for this fic specifically, cos i have the album ones, but i also have the sykkuno and y/n vibes one, and also the full fic playlist that’s just the vibes for the playlist, which is so jumbled rn but i also definitely know what you mean abt chronological order for the songs relating to the fic, i do that with all my fic-specific playlists

side note, a list of songs you definitely shouldn’t think about in the context of angel!corpse/demon!reader:

Take Me To Church - Hozier (for obvious reasons, but it makes me yell when considering that they almost definitely think it about the other, if that makes sense??)

Saint Bernard - Lincoln (im going to go feral)

Crave You (Original) & (Adventure Club Remix) - Flight Facilities (the remix is much more the vibe im going for, but also the original has some lyrics that hurt my little rabbit heart. if this ain’t the reader idk what is;

there’s more but i don’t have them on hand rn.

yesssss so i’ve just started on the reader working on a song abt corpse, even though they haven’t really spoken, because things have kind of changed and ive got more of a story arc than i did before, but it makes sense. y/n needs a rest. badly. 

also welcome to wildly unrealistic things i think about that won’t happen in the fic, but that i literally cannot get out of my mind because of the aesthetic of it all. (and if ur sick abt me talking abt billie eilish in relation to this fic i’d scroll on now im sorry but her musical aesthetic is what i want my soul to look like)

so i go back and forth abt the reader telling the world that they’re a demon, on the one hand, that’s their business and the world can get fucked, it needs to learn respect and boundaries, on the OTHER HAND there are so many ways that they could?? the one that lives rent free in my head is while performing live, at a festival. SPECIFICALLY (the theatrics, ladies and gentlemen, and those of us who know better, the theatrics) i have this idea of them joining Billie Eilish on stage during her set, since they’ve collabed before and they’ve worked this all out, (if it doesn’t load properly, bcos its a 7 min video, the bit im thinking of starts at 6:11)

so it’s bury a friend, with this whole semi-choreographed duet thing, so the lyrics become kind of a conversation, and the reader’s kind of playing this confident, antagonistic character on stage as they both jump around, and duck and chase, but they get to that bit, to the second chorus, and y/n steps up behind billie so they can rest their chin on her shoulder, and y/n has their eyes closed and is mouthing the words, but their microphone is lowered, and billie’s the one singing

Step on the glass, staple your tongue (Ahh-ha) Bury a friend, try to wake up (Ahh-ha) Cannibal class, killin' the son (Ahh)

but, BUT, Billie gives this pleased little knowing smile, which the cameras that are getting close ups catch, and projecting them on the screens either side of the stage, and Billie moves the microphone so y/n can say the- Bury a friend - as their eyes open to show of their demon eyes and this wicked smile, and the - I wanna end me - is said as the crowd is GOING OFF and the bass drops, and y/n reveals their wings as the lights and screen behind them are strobing and going off behind them, creating the silhouette of these gigantic black, iridescent, feathered wings, and it’s so bright people can’t be quite sure if what they’re seeing is right, but then billie steps away from y/n as the lights flood the stage with red and everyone can see them with their arms out, like royalty, confident and intimidating and incredible, and billie’s laughing her fucking head off, delighted, before they both get into the final bit of the song, even though the music can barely be heard over the crowd at this point.

like i said, SUPER unrealistic and mostly just for aesthetic and will not be what happens, but the image in my head is very cool so i had to talk abt it. thank u.

[lesbiancarat]

I went into your askbox ready to talk abt an underrated group but it turned into a weird, sad rambling mess and then I deleted it anyways pls share your group recs

anon that’s such a mood you have no idea how many times i start writing a post and the same thing happens so i end up deleting it or saving it to my drafts dkfjhg but if you do get your thoughts together id love to hear them!

first of all disclaimer that aside from toppdogg/xeno-t i don’t consider myself a stan of any of these groups meaning i know little to nothing about the members or the group’s history. also some of these groups i know their whole discography and others i literally only know one song, but i’ll try to make that clear for each group!

secondly most of these are gonna be boy groups. i did and do listen to girl groups but when it comes to underrated groups i mostly know about boy groups OTL

thirdly this is gonna be a long post because a lot of these songs/groups were a huge part of my introduction to kpop and im very nostalgic about them but i don’t really get the chance to talk about them a lot! that being said i’m going to put the actual recs below the cut but for your convenience i’ve also put together:

youtube and spotify* playlists of my recs!

*unfortunately i couldn’t find acrush’s action on spotify ;-;

to all of my followers i encourage yall to listen to at least a few of my recs, especially if you’re not familiar with a lot of underrated groups. there are some hidden gems in there!

the groups i’m more familiar with are toward the top of the list but other than that they’re in no particular order! so without further ado...

1. ToppDogg/Xeno-T

As I’ve mentioned on my blog a few times before, toppdogg is the only group i’ve stanned aside from svt, and the group that got me into kpop. i could say a lot about them but i’m gonna focus on music recs! my favorite td song is without a doubt rainy day, which is the title track for their last* album first street, which is also my favorite album by them and the first kpop album i bought if memory serves. i especially recommend the b-side sunshine.

first street is pretty different than their other music so if you like it you may not necessarily like their other music but some of my other td recs include annie, arario, topdog, and open the door. if you like rap you might want to check out peekaboo!

*by “last album” i mean their last under the name toppdogg. after rainy day era td went from ot9 to ot5 and rebranded as xeno-t and released the japanese single together which i love

final note on td/xt: some of the members have worn black hairstyles in the past and in some of their MVs which is 😬 so i just wanted to give a heads up for anyone who wants to avoid that

2. IZ

I literally recommend IZ’s entire discography, especially if you’re a fan of rock or k-bands. a friend of mine introduced me to them when they debuted back in 2017 and I’ve been listening to their music on and off ever since. in the last few months I finally listened to their whole discography and im literally obsessed

but for a starting point i’ll suggest all you want, angel, eden, and hello

3. FANXY RED/ACRUSH

sapphics... stan fanxy red DKJFH the only reason i say i don’t stan them is i feel there’s not enough content to get to know the members super well. but they’re known for being a gender non-conforming/androgynous girl group and also...lesbians (ok idk/remember if the members have openly identified as lesbians but im also not just saying that bc of their fashion/concept watch this guide video if u want to know more about them)

songs to check out: T.O.P, holla, and action

im also IN LOVE with marco’s solo song all right

4. SNUPER

ok here’s where i start getting into groups i know less about dkfhg snuper’s song platonic love is basically a kpop version of take on me and it slaps! their song you=heaven is super cute it’s just one of those songs that makes me smile :’)

5. SPEED

ok i feel like if you know anything at all about underrated groups youve probably heard of speed, but i can’t not mention them. their choreos for what u and don’t tease me in particular are insane. if you want to see a choreo in heelys and Literal acrobatics check these out

6. VROMANCE

i cannot recommend she by vromance enough ive literally considered creating a youtube channel just so i can make a video talking about this song and mv. which might be hyping it up too much, in the grand scheme of things its not super unique or anything but it is still amazing and i love it a lot.

on the other hand their song im fine made me cry actual tears :)) this is fine. im fine

7. BOYFRIEND

ok, from my understanding boyfriend used to be more well known so on the whole they may not qualify as an underrated group, but i specifically want to recommend their song to my bestfriend which was released in 2016 and only has 1M views which is a shame bc its honestly such a good song its so cute

8. KNK

THEIR SONG RAIN IS LITERALLY ONE OF MY FAVORITE KPOP SONGS EVER ITS SO GOOD OH MY GOD. PLUS UMBRELLA CHOREO??? HELLO??? AND THE MV IS SO PRETTY IT MAKES ME WANT TO CRY FOR MORE REASON THAN ONE OK THANK U FOR YOUR TIME

9. 24K

i’m a big fan of their song only you, and super fly is also good! i believe they self produce/write at least some of their songs! also random but i always remember the member cory, who’s korean-american, saying his parents named him that bc when u call his name in korean fashion (cory-ah!) it sounds like korea which is dkfghj cute

10. HOTSHOT

i don’t have much to say about hotshot except that jelly is iconic

+bonus

i have a few other groups that come to mind when i think of underrated groups but i don’t have any song recs for, either bc i never actually listened to them or its been ages and i forgot DKJFH but if you’re really interested in underrated groups or are desperate for new groups or music you might try checking out UP10TION, cross gene, bulldok

i know there are loads more underrated groups i’ve at least heard of but for some reason these three popped into my head when i was looking for the other groups on my list and i figured i’d at least throw them out there!

[splendidshinobi]

FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST 2003 LIVE REACT: EPISODES 6-10

back at it again with the white vans

episode 6: the alchemy exam

alrighty then

um mustang calling edward “ed” is EXTREMELY offputting

ohhhhhhh noooooo not shou tucker

FUCK

im wholly unprepared

them all being in central instead of east is low key jarring like my brain isnt computing it

alexander’s intro is basically the same 

nina bbyyyyy girl u deserved so much better

ed is such a fucking nerd...chemistry club modern au confirmed

god the more tucker talks the more i wanna beat his face in

al pretending to eat by tossing a potato in his armor i-

aww theyre playing in the snow theyre so pure

wonder how long thatll last

“bigger brother” and “little big brother” and ed doesnt even get mad

ed’s birthday party????????

A MELON? ED YOURE SO RUDE

so 03 had ed’s bday instead of elicia’s...CAUSE THEY GOT ELICIA IN THE WOMB

“it’s here!” “the tea?” “the baby!” hughes is a fuck head

ok so now they’re having elicia replace rush valley baby arc

this was winry’s time to shine in fmab i miss her 

if winry isnt here who is gonna birth this baby

oh my god they just realized ed can use alchemy without a circle

no wonder he’s been using circles this whole time

SO ELICIA JUST POPPED OUT????? WHAT

STUFF ALEXANDER IN THE ARMOR AND PRETEND YOURE A TALKING DOG???

“i dont think thats very funny” NO ALPHONSE IT IS NOT

THEY KNEW EXACTLY WHAT THEY WERE DOING WITH THAT ONE I SWEAR TO GOD IN THIS ESSAY I WILL

damn bradley what up homie

im so thrown off by the way theyre doing the exam omg

seriously what the hell is fuhrer bradley’s purpose right now is he even the fuhrer in this i feel like they wouldve mentioned it

oh lord ed is about to impress everyone with his clappy hands

ok so next episode is nina FUCK

episode 7: night of the chimera’s cry

havoc babeeee

im gonna marry him my himbo king

also can RIZA DO SOMETHING PLZ

“huhhhhhhhh nina” ew tucker that was weirdly gross

wonder why

cant do it cant do it

do we think jean kirstein was modeled after jean havoc slightly looks wise

was that purposeful 

ill have to google 

serial killer who only targets women?  it cant be scar...scar drinks respect women juice

barry or slicer bros maybe? um ok

why did we start with liore if they were just gonna hop right back into the past for a huge chunk of episodes idk

assessment day??? oh noodles

AL WHY DID YOU TELL TUCKER TO MAKE ANOTHER TALKING CHIMERA ALPHONSE NO

THE NOISE I EMITTED IM GONNA TAKE A LAP

im gonna FUCKING SCREAM

ed r u writing to winry??? that’s a bit out of character for u good sir

no tucker put that baby down

im gonna fucking SCREAM

aww he burned nina’s picture thats not sus at all

SHESKA!!!!!

wait does the ironblood alchemist know what tucker did to his wife? thats kinda the vibe im getting

SCARRRRRRRR

looking like a pirate too damn

his voice sounds different is that j michael tatum 

apparently not it was dameon clarke in 03 ya learn something new everyday 

ew elicia has a lot of hair for a FUCKING NEWBORN

ed really is such a cynic very suspicious of everyone as he should be really

basque grand knowS SOMETHING

oh jesus oh fuck oh god please do not TOUCH THAT BABY

ed and al snuck back in to the house well u know what its for the best

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

im gonna cry again please god no

FUCKING DIE SHIT HOLE

she’s hurting? oh my god

my sweet angel

ew his eyes!!!!!!! 

tucker is such a fucking failure...like look at the chimera squad and greed’s theatre troupe being the way they are. ugh it really hits how fucking unfair it is 

ed was really about to split them? boy you know better

where is nina going...im hurting

ed really tried to save her in this one

SCAR KILLS NINA IN THE STREETS???????? SIR

thats different

oh snap 

oh FUCK

SCAR WHY DID YOU LEAVE HER BODY LIKE THAT

THE WAY SHE WAS ARRANGED ON THE WALL THAT WAS FUCKED UP

AND THEY FOUND HER LIKE THAT???? AT LEAST IN BROTHERHOOD THEY DIDNT HVE TO SEE HER CORPSE ARE YOU SHITTING ME?

that was fucked.

episode 8: the philosopher’s stone

can yall get ed and al away from nina’s fucking MURAL 

get out of the car mustang

finally jesus christ

roy mustang talking about healthy coping mechanisms dont make me laugh but alright baby boy go off i guess?

im curious about who this goddamn serial killer is though lets turn to that plot thread

r u kidding me

mustang is making ed and al take over tucker’s research?? thats actually wildly messed up

oh tucker was straight executed that’s a choice i guess

tucker and the philosopher’s stone sounds inaccurate but ok

ed please stop being mean to your brother

03 mustang has got me reaching for a fucking baseball bat on GOD

scar and edward having this conversation right now i literally cannot

WINRY yes bitch

BRADLEY WHAT IN TARNATION

JESUS LORRRRRRDDDDDDDDDDDD

alphonse shut your mouthhhhhhhhhhh

im so confused what is bradley up to

“alchemists are not cold blooded murderers?”

i mean

kimblee would beg to differ for one

whos this creepy lady 

her voice sounds familiar

barry’s food shop?

the killer is barry ok got it

IS BARRY DISGUISED AS A WOMAN

I KNEW THAT WAS JERRY JEWELL’S VOICE

WELL I KNEW IT SOUNDED FAMILIAR AT LEAST

WINRY GET OUT OF THE FUCKING TRUCk

has PINAKO TAUGHT YOU NOTHING

ok so i VASTLY prefer suit of armor original manga canon barry

this is such an odd plot what in fuck

um OW the meat cleaver

im so confused this fucking plotline

oh hey alphonse nice of you to show up!

is barry still gonna become a suit of armor later on

it makes NO SENSE to introduce him otherwise 

everytime i see 03 mustang i wanna beat his ass HONESTLY

literally i will shove my foot up his ass

fullmetal here we go

ed thinks he’s so punk rock 

oh great scar’s seen the watch

episode 9: be thou for the people

ed you simp buying winry all this stuff my edwin heart is ascending

SIMP SIMP SIMP

“mr. elric”?? you mean MAJOR ELRIC

to be fair though fuck the military

YOUSWELL??? oh LORD

im gonna need to read a full chronology of this show

 alphonse continues to be a precious angel 

where’s my boy yoki!!!!!

edward you idiot don’t go flaunting your money

woof woof ed

al looks so offended by ed saying they just met

whereas in brotherhood didnt he totally throw ed under the bus??? 

a choice to be sure

ah there he is hello yoki

who’s the chick

shes a lesbian

yoki makes me miss my baby girl mei chang

mei where r u

WAS THIS MILITARY DUDE REALLY ABOUT TO CUT DOWN A CHILD??? oh my god

hawkeye getting a promotion yes bby girl

jesus theyre transferring them to east now OKKKKKAY thats not how it happened it the book but ill take it....just doing it the opposite way i guess

who is lyra who is she

cute some military bribery 

umm lyra what the fuck did you do

lyra is a homunculus im callin it now

they definitely invented/changed up some homunculi in fact im certain they did and shes one of em. gotta be

i feel like 03 wrote ed as much more insensitive towards others than he really is...just a vibe im getting

i know he was faking for the townspeople’s sake but i still get this vibe from other instances 

i mean i cant say its not “canon” because its 03 canon

anyways what a show off

i cant believe theyre going to east...fuery and breda better be there

ok finally some answers on their ages....ed got his license at 12 like normal and nina and youswell were when he was 12...liore was 15, 

if they didnt flash the ages on the screen id be lost honestly

at least we’re back up to “present day”

episode 10: the phantom thief

ed saying he doesnt wanna see mustang

same

03 mustang is activating my fight or flight and im choosing fight

ed cheating at cards totally checks out

um who the fuck is this woman

what is she wearing

SERIOUSLY WHAT IS THAT CUTOUT MAAM HOW DO YOUR C**CHY LIPS NOT POKE OUT

idk but this is fem!hisoka

“hey shouldnt we talk first” after getting handcuffed??? christ almighty these innuendos

siren??????? siren is probably also a “fake” homunculus

ugh

ok so the nurse is siren

ya aint slick girly

alphonse control your crush

I REFUSE!!!! ALMEI RIGHTS

why is al’s hair so brown in this flashback anywayssss

oh its spelled psiren ope

like she’s literally a batman villain...

oh my god...............the tiddy grab. my son would never

my son is respectful

is this her homunculus tat or just a random alchemy tat

the added plotlines and original content continue to confuse and astound me every single time....

ok but if psiren really was doing this for the hospital she wouldnt be so flashy about it. like thats how you get caught sweet cheeks

girly stop flirting with this child on god im gonna fucking kick you

now shes a nun????????????????

Shes a fucking troll i hate her

im going to kick alphonse into the sun 

oh great now shes a teacher

wow shes a savior. the savior of amestrian venice. greatttttt

ed looking exactly like this emoji on this gondola rn 🧍‍♀️

STOP FLIRTING WITH THE CHILD 

GOD THIS IS SO BATMAN VILLAIN ESQUE

alphonse plzzzzzzzzzz she aint your girl

ok so probably not the last we see of this ding dong con artist

ok so its starting to get muddy. im scared the 03 stans are gonna come after me like i do like it and im having fun watching it but some of the plot and characterization choices are just....odd??? idk i gotta keep going though!! im sorry i just stan arakawa and her work in all her glory!!!

[festeringfae]

i honestly cannot believe this movie introduced a plot like 10 minutes ago about separating the girls so they don’t catch the gay and now the girls are literally naked bathing together in a bathtub and we are not shown how or why this is allowed to happen and i know, i KNOW, it is never going to be addressed

this is just. not one of the ways i expected heavenly creatures to be bad, you know? they interviewed 40 people! they have diaries! i did not think a problem was going to be fucking CONTINUITY!

i mean one thing thats nice is that im barely creeped out anymore im just annoyed so thats sort of phobia conquering, but also i know saying that has jynxed it, especially since Kate Winslet has been both the most horrifying and cringe-inducing character, and shes been offscreen awhile but shes back now. you know. IN A BATHTUB.

Ok an adult did notice they were in the bathroom together but only when they were taking, like, photographs or something or maybe cutting their hair, idk, but the fact that a) hankypanky is a word spoken about a thing they could have been DOING IN THE BEDROOM and not them getting caught IN A BATH TOGETHER and b) that they were alone long enough to take a bath together and not get caught.....the hulme mom is rightfully telling her husband to calm the fuck down but i feel like theyre gonna paint her as an apathetic sex vixen again which just like STOP

ok not necessarily sexual but they really had her say “im sure its perfectly innocent” and then jump cut to them grabbing valuables to sell so they can move abroad to live together so like YEAH U DEF JUST IMPLIED IF U R WORRIED ABOUT YR GIRLS BEING LESBIANS AND DECIDE TO BE CHILL ABOUT IT THEY WILL ACTUALLY STEAL YOUR VALUABLES TO RUN OFF TOGETHER AT AGE 14 AND MAYBE ALSO MURDER ONE OF THEIR PARENTS

Weirdly i think this is where i tuned in and also its both weird that they still demonstrate the girls having “real”/explicit crushes on the men (not even in a diary entry!) but also juliet suggests for the first time irl “simply murder” for their wives, and because its juliet its not a first hand source and ive noticed a pattern of juliet suggesting things first/being the leader to the Melanie Igor and its like??? is that supposed to be a statement on class? is it what is suggested by history? is it a thing in the diary they just don’t quote, like. These Are Key Details About the Why and the story does not appear to be a whydunnit which i guess is what i assumed so WHAT! IS! THIS! STORY! ABOUT!

oh my God, this is exactly where i tuned in at 15, and other than the backstory about the assault (which went??? nowhere for some reason??), the TB context, and maaaaybe the gay concern, there is. absolutely nothing the story told me in that previous hour and 7 minutes that explains or drives us toward the actual action/plot, which is them deciding to move to hollywood and....i feel like thats relaed to the mom killer plan? this movie literally could have been 45 minutes, is what i’m saying. 60 at most. which like......what would those 45 minutes be ah yes other than the intro/establishing scenes MOSTLY JUST THE DIARY. JUST DO A DAMN DOCUMENTARY CENTERED AROUND THE DIARY AND CONDUCT INTERVIEWS TO GIVE FURTHER CONTEXT,, PETER JACKSON! YOU HAD TO DO THE INTERVIEWS FOR THIS ANYWAY AND YOU KNEW HOW TO MAKE A DOCUMENTARY AT THE TIME! WHAT THE FUCK!

also again im sure there was a REASON, if not a good one, that the girl’s grades slipped and so they felt threatened and decided to run off to hollywood but to avoid suspicion sucked up to their parents, but since WE ARE NEVER TOLD WHAT THAT REASON IS it’s just like.......why go through the effort to steal all the stuff and run off to hollywood NOW when u could just suck up and fake it until they graduate? like we’re told their grades are failing and that they think theyre smarter and more important than everyone else, but we never see them venting to each other about that or lamenting how they think its a trial to think about english class when all they wanna do is think about fantasy world instead. CHARACTERIZATION! RISING ACTION! ANYTHING!

oh my God, why is the juliet’s mom is a slut “subplot” back. how is this RELEVANT.

I feel like i’m supposed to be horrified by juliet’s preoccupation with the macabre but its like a of all ive met a goth person before b of all it makes sense given how shes literally been in hospitals all alone at lengths of a time that shed romanticize it c) see point a but specifically: she kinda just talks like Katya.

HOW IS THIS THE FIRST TIME WE’RE SEEING HENRY/JULIETS DAD HAVING ISSUES AT HIS JOB WHEN ITS THE DRIVING FORCE THREATENING TO TAKE JULIET AWAY, PRESUMABLY? WHAT WAS THE POINT IN INTRODUCING ALL OF THOSE OTHER THREATS ABOUT SEPARATING THEM PURPOSEFULLY EVEN LIVING IN THE SAME PLACE THAT WAS TRULY NEVER ACKNOWLEDGED BY ANYONE AGAIN WHATSOEVER? JUST TO DO SOME COMMENTARY ON LESOPHOBIA THAT I CANNOT FATHOM THE INTENTION OF? THATS THE ONLY THING I CAN THINK OF AND IM NOT EVEN CONFIDENT ABOUT IT BC WTF IS GOING ON. I never got why people were swearing The Hobbit movies were bad when they claimed the LOTR ones were cinematic genius but the thought of the director of THIS movie having to decide what to split and change into two whole movies with new plot elements..........Godspeed, you poor,poor nerds.

look, i dont want to be heartless while this man who is a real person is openly weeping about losing his job while his wife is cheating on him in the next room and his only child is shortly going to murder someone. that being said. the introduction of this element of the story is so ridiculously random and shoehorned that it literally FEELS LIKE the point in a documentary where a new context is introduced to events we already know about. like i not only WANT multiple peoples interpretations of how he experienced this and how it impacted later events, i literally FEEL LIKE the talking head section is gonna switch heads in a second and some lady who knew him from church is gonna say something like “he seemed....different after that” or whatever. i have gone from wanting this to be a documentary to just plain stymied that it isn’t. WHO IS LAURIE? IS HE A BOARDER? I think so. WHY DOES SHE NEED TO STILL BE IIN THE BATHTUBE TO FINISH WHAT SHES WRITING? she doesn’t have a look or anything that conveys “oh shit i took my notebook into the bath with me to get this thought down but i lost track of time and i haven’t washed my hair yet”

also with all this sexuality stuff is no one worried shes in their masturbating?

also-also NOW people are worried about the length of baths??? after SHE TOOK A BATH WITH JULIET AT THE HULMES??? we also still don’t know fucking why pauline is losing wait or if its related to her mental health or even her emotions towards the thing happening outside of the consequence of her not being well enough by her moms approximation also for a movie thats supposed to show like the Real Story of who these girls really were, this animosity towards her mother seems to be coming from fucking NOWHERE, and it doesn’t help that she has had on FULL HORROR MOVIE CREEPY CHILD TERRIFYING STEWING SCOWL the whole movie, so there’s no slow shift from relatable teenage annoyance and hyberbolic “i could kill you!” feelings to legit murder feelings. like a diary entry that was just “mom was being annoying again and so i rang deborah becausei simply had to ltell someone who would listen with a sympathetic ear. i really hate my mom” doesn’t have any kind of build to that last sentence, or casual teenage cadence because its in front of more diary entries about being mad at the mom. it is literally just. full angry ghost child face being read in a way where YOU CAN HEAR. THE CAPITAL LETTERS. THROUGH GRITTED TEETH. like. where is this coming from?? and if the movie doesn’t know, why isn’t the horror based in how you can’t know where its coming from, sometimes theyre sweet and sometimes tehy aren’t?? i just realized the getting up early to do all the chores thing went. absolutely nowhere. they didnt run off for hollywood the next day, they didn’t talk about it again, nd pauline specifically mentioned acting cheerful, which she has clearly given up here since improved/cheery disposition is one of the things her mom tells her she needs before shell be allowed to go to the event she wants to go to at the end of the week. like WHY ARE THINGS HAPPENING? what is ANYONE’S motivation about ANYTHING? what does this have to do with matricide?????

[dweebgf]

What are ur opinions on these things? Are aces lgbt? Neopronouns valid? More than 2 genders? Transmed or tucute? He him lesbians? Ace spectrum? Self diagnosing? Pan = bi? Pan is transphobic? How many sexualities? Lgbt or lgbtq? Pro mogai? Genitalia preferences transphobic? Does dating trans ppl make u gay or bi? Do aces face oppression? Neurogenders? Can children b ace? Are MAPs and pedos valid and good? Is queer a slur? Are trans men real men?

ok i know this is like a troll/trap anon being sent around but tbh if ur gonna unfollow me for my opinions i don’t,,, really care

are aces LGBT: sure why not, as long as you don’t insert yourself into conversations that aren’t about you or talk over others (usually lesbians) i have no qualms with you being in the community and also like. its not my call whether or not someone is inherently LGBT

neopronouns valid: there is no scientific backing for them and therefore i will respect them but do not necessarily believe in them 

more than 2 genders: nah i don’t think so? nonbinary people are valid, but they are outside the gender binary, therefore don’t fit into a construct of one or the other; not a third, but outside.

transmed or tucute: i guess people would consider me a transmed, but most people don’t know what that means??? like we don’t think you need to loathe yourself to be trans, or be cisnormaitve. the only requirement is dysphoria, mild or otherwise. dysphoria does not mean hating yourself; it is a disconnect. this is my personal opinion for the sake of this post, but i would not speak over members of the trans community. 

he/him lesbians: i don’t really get it, tbh. like. if you’re more comfortable using masculine pronouns, wouldn’t you rather be perceived as masculine or masc-aligned? like. lesbian means women who love women, and he/him women doesn’t rly make sense to me? if ur a he/him lesbian and wanna explain to me id be willing to understand though!

ace spectrum: ??? i mean. what does this mean?? it’s real if thats what ur asking??

self diagnosis: yes. many people cannot get a diagnosis, due to health, safety, or financial issues, and these people deserve to be able to find a label and community to help them deal with their mental illnesses. as long as it is an informed, researched, thought out diagnosis, i see no issue. self diagnosis often leads to professional diagnosis.

pan = bi: i think they are similar, and can be used interchangeably, but if the distinction is significant to you, that’s valid.

pan is transphobic: what?? ive literally never heard this but it sounds dumb

how many sexualities? sexuality is fluid, but if you find a label that works for you, go for it.

Lgbt or lgbtq? interchangeable. same thing. queer is an umbrella term.

pro mogai? no.

genitalia preferences transphobic: not inherently. if you say ‘i won’t have sex with you because you’re trans’ then yeah, but if you say ‘im sorry but it would cause me significant trauma/distress/etc. to have sex w a penis’ then no?? no one should expect that of you either.

does dating trans ppl make u gay or bi: only if you’re a man dating a trans man / woman dating a trans woman (gay) or mlm/wlw who also dates the opposite gender (bi), no, dating trans people has no bearing on your sexuality. trans men are men, trans women are women. full stop. 

do aces face oppression: i would say so, but definitely not to the degree of lesbians, gays, bisexuals, and trans people. i am however speaking in broad terms of the majority, there’s obviously gonna be some shitty cases no matter your orientation

neurogenders: fuck not that shit is so offensive

can children b ace: depends on what you mean by children. literal children? don’t have a sexuality, full stop. younger teens coming into puberty, hormonal changes, etc? sure! and if that changes when you get older, thats fine too.

are MAPs and pedos valid and good: ahahahhahahhahahahahhahah fUCK NO, AND IF YOU THINK THEY ARE IN ANY CAPACITY, GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME. 

is queer a slur: in my opinion, no, its a scientific term, as well as a term we fought to be able to use. if its used in a derogatory way against us by someone who isnt LGBT then yeah its a slur, but in the same way lesbians can say dyke but men cannot call us that, we as queer people can choose whether or not we want to say it, and cannot police others who disagree.

are trans men real men: yes?? next question??