#idk what the cool kids are calling it so
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fanboi thoma
have loved him and shipped him with ayaka from day 1 tbh 🤷🏼♀️
the main kamisato ayaka fan ever
#he would be such a good boyfriend tho please#he would 5124465% spoil his so#with gifts but mostly acts of service#at least that's what i think#fwiw#doesn't hurt that ayaka and i are the same myers briggs type#infj ftw#thoma#ayaka#thoma fanart#ayaka fanart#thomaka fanart#i just totally made up that ship name#idk what the cool kids are calling it so#genshin fanart
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[Image Description: A digital painting of a Lego Bionicle Rahkshi facing left and stooped over as if tracking its prey along the ground. The background is black with a bright green vertical shape to contrast the character in front. The Rahkshi is holding its spear in its right limb, propping its body up with it as it holds its face close to the ground. It is rendered as a black metallic material with red eyes. Its hunched shape and angular spines stand out harshly against the green background. End Image Description.]
I got a rahkshi recently and wanted to draw it so here's this - kind of an experiment with studying a real life object and how to pose it into a interesting composition and then replicating the lighting I got tired of rendering this partway through however :P
#there's so many cool fanarts of rahkshi variations like people really pushing their designs and drawing them super unique and interesting#I think that's so fun and I want to do it too but in order to stylize to my heart's content I gotta learn their basic shapes and forms#squish the kraata around like playdoh#sorry if I got any terms wrong in the image description I don't remember like aaaannyyy lore from when I was a kid#like would you call that thing a spear?? does it have a different name? where do they get their weapons? idr!#can rahkshi smell?????????? the wiki says their senses are heightened. they're like hunters they gotta smell. idk what I'm doing!!!#oh right in case anyone is wondering: this is based on a kurahk but I just recolored it idk.#that's why the spines are like that instead of looking like a vorahk's#bionicle#bionicle fanart#rahkshi
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One thing I love about mutant mayhem is that Leo has a crush on an April who’s not conventionally attractive. It almost feels like, because of the turtles’ isolated upbringing* he hasn’t been influenced by the popular western beauty ideals and just thinks this ordinary human is beautiful! And I think that’s really cool! Because she is!
*though they’ve clearly been exposed to celebrities and other pop culture so ?? idk lol
#tmnt#mutant mayhem#I’m usually a very ‘I’m ugly and that’s okay’ type of person#but that’s really only about the definition of ugly that = not fitting into the popular western beauty ideals#but everyone has something about them that’s beautiful to someone yknow#idk I don’t want to be out here calling this April ugly because I don’t think she is#but I know a lot of male fans of older turtles have been saying she’s ugly#and yeah it’s very cool that this teenage boy character has a crush on an ‘ugly’ girl#and I know I have no stake in straight representation lol but it’s just good to see the girl crush have unconventional features#though I will say personally I don’t want them to be together just because any turtle x human relationship gives me the ick which is fully#just a me thing I think like I don’t think it’s morally reprehensible to ship any turtle with an april or karai (03 leo and karai had me#shipping them as a kid before I even knew what shipping was lol)#my words#ALSO whoever voiced dr stockman sounded SO similar to the 03 him. I was cryin#i feel like this movie wasn’t the best I mean I heavily enjoyed it but I hope it builds up to more. the mid credits scene had me screaming#so here’s hoping we get sequels aaaaa#give me karai or give me death#SMOOTH LIKE BUTTER LIKE A CRIMINAL UNDERCOVER
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depression is really weird actually wdym i spent 2.5 years of my life in bed
#and wdym that lifestyle changed so quickly into being out and about and an active member of the world??#very proud of myself#and i mean it wasn't that quick of a change#it was like 1.5 years primarily depression bedrotting with occasional school -> primarily depression bedrotting ->#primarily depression bedrotting with 3-9 hours of work weekly -> straight into 31+ hours school+9-12 hours work weekly#so there was somewhat of a gradual progression#but still#also wowza i wake up 7-7:30am every morning now. 1pm was an early wake up for a not so insignificant amount of time#i mean of all fundamental growth years to miss out on the ages like what 12/13-15 aren't too bad? they would suck in a different way if i#had been socially involved#anyway it's just. yea i'm proud of myself but it is a crazy lifestyle change#and even when i was deeply depressed in a horrible routine i feel like i learned a lot. how to regulate my emotions and cope well and find#the joy in everything. bc if i stayed in bed all day then i would at least be happy about the sun or whatever#and for the while of being not at school at all i WANTED to be at school i just could not find one bc our school system is so cute like tha#(basically every school is at capacity and the local school that has a guaranteed place for me would have been an all boys or girls 😭)#but i miraculously found and got into this school and miraculously made it work so well for me socially and now academically#it's also a good time to get back into school for my education bc any later and it woulda been pretty bad for all my certifications and uni#ive missed out on so much maths that its not worth it to me to try and catch up but my teacher knows that#but ive always hated maths regardless i only ever understood it for the first half of yr 7 then my attendance dropped#and after my recent exam i decided to try harder at school. but i still got an A on the exam i didn't study for!! academic weapon fr#i'm just idk thinking back to myself in the past few years#and how hopeless it all felt. but i got out of it!! i beat the depression and social anxiety and found a good place and made the most of it#and during the peak of my depression i remember i went out someplace near my old school and panicked so so badly about seeing#kids from my old school. and the friends at the time didnt really check on me when i went to shake and cry in a side street lmao#i kept the best of that friendgroup and have better friends now. but anyway now i take a bus each morning with some kids from my old school#and you see these hands? they look like they're shaking to you?#anyway yeah it's just cool i got to this point :) i really had no hope for so long but now i have a life i'm living and a future i'm build#--ing towards#which is funny i just decided some random day last november after watching some better call saul 'huh actually lawyer would b pretty cool'#and will i get there? we'll see but i do have hope now
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Late Night quick thing (New Age Sillies)
Bad news: That joke post about including Reset + Orchid is definitely not canon. (I legit got sad thinking about Reset being in a universe where Orchid isn't- because their stories are so so intertwined- but Nightmare 100% would NOT risk the whole twins exploding Error's soul thing.)
Good news: This means I COULD include Kane (Reset's older brother who usually dies in timelines where Reset is born) and use it to develope his character a bit more! Also! Perhaps a Blue × Dream kiddo is finally in the stars for me to design?
#new age au#really enjoying the idea of Reaper + Geno having an heir at some point (and them sending that heir over to Night's kingdom for#exposure to other places as well as to hang with his third cool knight dad who's hard at work 🙏)#Kane has little to no development besides being a perfect angel (foil to Reset's eventual turn to poor choices) so I'd love to do#to him what I do to every oc of mine. (Namely: Throw them into the Kingdom and see what they do.)#oh! and I could see Blue and Dream (beloved boys) listening to the warnings of possible complications if they try to have a lil babybones#and Dream deciding he'd take the risk and carry the growing soul#(<- though tbf this is MANY years into the future and they'd be well established knights of the realm)#i'm not evil so they *would* manage to avoid the twins curse and have a singular beautiful babybones#they'd get raised partially on the move but stay behind with Night and Error if the two had a more dangerous mission#and grow up to be an obnoxiously powerful warrior following after their dads#(but they'd probably be hesitant to follow into the footsteps of being a knight and might go on a quest with friends before choosing a#final path for themselves)#<- Most spoiled rotten kid ever. courtesy of Nightmare and Error and all their extended family <3#oh last note. Ancha has me cracking up w/ ideas for Cross potentially meeting someone and I was beamed w/ an old ship request post I saw and#I think it'd be funny to include Lust in here somehow... (probably call him smth else as a nickname but y'know-)#like. He works in the city around the castle as some sort of... idk tailor? and he's been making things for Nightmare for years without#knowing because Ccino always was discreet about the orders and providing measurements + always tipped well so it was none of his business#but one day it's like. before a big announcement ceremony or smth and Ccino drags Cross in by the scruff because no one can get him to get#clothes that actually fit aside from armor (hc he steals the others clothes a lot and wears 1 shirt until it's threadbare)#so Ccino makes him go to Lust and Lust is able to get him fitted for sone new outfits because. well. Lust doesn't do much but he's very very#handsome and Cross is super easily flustered and shy around new people and he's awkward and aughhh.#and then he thinks about the interaction for the next month before deciding he's going to ask Ccino to go back there again.#and Lust likes dressing Cross up in new outfits (everyone thinks it's great Cross is loosening up and meeting new friends cuz Lust introduce#s him to people in town) and it takes forever for Cross to get over his worries and ask Lust out to a ride on his horse (romantic. of course#) and Lust agrees because he's charmed.#and the best part would be Cross *actually* manages to keep it a secret. like. no one finds out until one morning Killer bursts into Cross'#room to wake him for surprise training and it's Cross. the weird Dog. and- holy shit did Cross have someone over???#Cross pulls the cool ones frfr 🙏#it's just a casual thing between them with little plot relevance or drama I think. just a chill lil relationship 🙏
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I have seen you talking about Dick & Dami's relationship and Dick & Tim as well,but what are your takes on Dick and Jason actually?
Like how you wish their relationship should be portrayed today and where are them missing when it comes to making those two acting like siblings?
Do you think in the past their dynamic was better?
How Dick views Jason and how Jason views Dick?
This is difficult to answer because there are like 8 different stages to Dick and Jason's relationship with various dynamics. They also view each other a bit differently depending on which stage we're talking about.
The way I would like their relationship to be portrayed today isn’t necessarily possible thanks to Jason’s integration into the family and acceptance of the no killing moral code. For me, their ideal dynamic is portrayed in Outsiders #44-46. And I know people are gonna find that regressive as hell but, tbh, that dynamic is far more interesting than the kinda awkward thing they have going on now.
Although, I don't mind that they acknowledge their brotherhood in a serious manner now. Like before they'd kinda be like, "Eh... I mean... we were adopted from the same guy but... brothers? Eh..." And now they're more firmly in the, "We're brothers," camp. So that development is interesting.
Character progression wise, it wouldn't feel right for for them to be super close in the way that, say, Dick and Tim are (unless we saw a lot of trust and relationship building between them), but at the same time, there is part of me that kind of wants them to have that older sibling bond (except Jason is closer in age to Tim than he is to Dick sooo actually let's just leave older sibling things to Dick and Cass... not that Cass is much older than Jason though so LOL this is why Dick has to lone the oldest sibling thing by himself... which is funny because Dick is technically no longer the oldest sibling, he's a baby brother now... except Dick and Melinda's relationship really hasn't progressed much sooo you could say they share blood but don't consider each other family yet, in which case, Dick is still the oldest... I mean, regardless, Dick is the oldest sibling of the Waynes... god why did they have to make all of this so difficult 😫).
#jason's like blerghhh dad always loved you best. but also hey we should work together bc you're a killer like me#and then jason's also like hey dick you were the most amazing thing i've ever seen and idk you're cool but i won't say that to you#and then he's also like hey dick i've got girl advice for you and i also need your opinion on my hair. oh now bane is trying to kill us#and then he's also like oh you got amnesia? i don't give a fuck about you and maybe i'll kill you#and he's also like oh you trust me? okay well... we're brothers and i'm gonna save you#and then dick's like oh hey kid call me if you need me. oh you died? i am literally devastated i'm so sorry#and he's also like wow you're very good at what you do but i don't trust you... okay but i trust the intel you're giving me sooo....#and then he's like why the fuck are you dressing like me and killing people?? quit doing stupid shit!!#and then he's like jason what the fuck are you doing--let me help you!!#and then he's like kinda indifferent to jason but jason is still Ugh this family is stupid why am i here#and then dick's like ofc i'm gonna come help you if you need me but also this is awkward af and things are weird between us so bye#except not bye because i'm staying here to help you and your team#and then dick's like i'm being controlled by joker so i'm gonna kill yoooou#and then he's like eh i trust you and i'm gonna help you bc we're brothers but you literally wrecked bruce's car you numbskull#and then he's like you're doing dumb shit and i have to take you down but oh thanks for not letting the train kill me#and then they're both like meh we're doing shit w the batfam even though neither of us should be here rn#and yeah that's how it goes. that's. literally it. writers cannot keep their relationship consistent in the long term#Dick Grayson#Jason Todd#relationship analysis#anon
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I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently
#facebook always does that 'here's a post from this day 8 years ago' thing. and I see old comments interacting#with people and it's so like.. OOOOO~~ where are they now?? what's going on? how much have they changed as people?#how much are they the same? this is fascinating. i should contact them!!' but then it's like... take that to it's logical conclusion though#you would contact them and then IF they even responded it would take you 80 years to respond and then they would#think there was something wrong or that you were trying to be insulting or something. To contact anyone I need to include an 85 page#disclaimer of all of my social issues & mental illness things. 'If i take 3 weeks to reply I promise it has nothing to do with u' etc lol#THIS is why more people need to be into phone calls/voice calls/some form of audio real time communication/etc.#I think one of the main things that's hard about messaging through text for me is it's so unscheduled and open ended#(plus it takes forever if you're talking about anything in detail and gets very long very quickly)#because like you can send a message and then just get a reply whenever. and then you're expected to reply back whenever#so it's like you never know when the response will come or when a new obligation to reply can come up? so it's like this sudden thing with#no outline?? if that makes sense. whereas a phone call is very like 'hello let's schedule a call from 10am - 2pm on thursday'. And you know#EXACTLY when the interaction will start and EXACTLY when it will end and you can plan around it in your schedule easily.#I have the reverse thing of a lot of people (how people don't pick up phone calls/hate calls/only text)#I would literally talk on the phone with a stranger. I would have a discord voice chat with someone I barely know.#if someone I hardly even remember from elementary school asked to have a voice call with me out of nowhere I would do it.#but if a stranger MESSAGED me?? or someone I barely know sent me a TEXT or something?? I will never reply probably#It's just too vague and weird. and you can't read voice tone over text. and the interaction could last forever with no clear end#point and etc. etc. But a call is like. set. established. clear boundaries. you can read the flow of conversation better. rapport. etc. etc#I get that I guess people feel more anonymous or distanced over text?? but you can have fake phone numbers on the computer. or do like disc#rd calls. or zoom without a camera or etc. etc. Also the distance that's present in text is BAD distance because it just means that tone is#not conveyed properly and you will never truly get a sense of the person's conversational vibe or mannerisms or how well you really click.#ANYWAY ghgjh...... I'm so so so interested in concepts of like.. How did that one kid I used to talk to in elementary school#but then they moved away in 5th grade - how did they end up? what are they doing now?? etc. etc. Like despite the severe social anhedonia#and general lack of connection with others I'm just really fascinated in like.. idk. the human development of it all and like#the concept of how we're actually a million different people through the course of our lives ever evolving in different iterations and etc.#PLUS again. i love nostalgia. sometimes old peple you know might remember a shared memory or can tell you about something you forgot#or etc. like it's SUCH A COOL THING in CONCEPT but I am too socially inept generally speaking lol. which people I still talk to today are#familiar with my 'phone call once every few months' communication style. but strangers would just be like... wtf. And I don't blame them#Sure I literally cannot change the physical health + brain issues i have - but also I know enough to not put others through that lol
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I would like to thank the Witch Craft SMP for gifting me a reason to draw Ihascupquake fanart in the year of our lord 2023
#rambles#my art#mcyt#witchcraft smp#wcsmp#ihascupquake#ihascupquake fanart#*points gun* ALL OF YOU APPRECIATE TIFFANY QUAKE THIS INSTANT ITS AN ORDER#THAT RIGHT THERE IS MY MINECRAFT MOM AND ON OF THE REASONS I DRAW TO THIS DAY I LOVE HER#anyways omg hiii blockmen art? from aj catzgam3rz? who'da thunk!#i love her outfit and ALL OF THE WITCHES OUTFITS??? THEY ALL LOOK SO COOL???#i wanna watch peoples intros and then draw more of them because it makes my brain go brrrr :)#oh also colours subject to change! but I enjoy this as like a starting point :D also the flowers are inspired by Peonies!#idk if I got close enough to call them peonies but thats what I was looking at!#also accidentally maybe implied a starborne!Tiff with this design? In my Heart of Hearts she's some sort of Fae creature but maybe both :0?#okay okay ranting over but i am serious if you are interested please consider ihascupquakes pov :D#she is probably one of the most fundamentally influential content creators I engaged with as a kid#and she is still so entertaining and sweet ;w;#I'm suddenly really worried that the ref I was using was too dark for the teal?? because the thumbnail looks brighter >:/?
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i feel rly sad and conflicted abt one of my best friends on earth but idk who to ask for advice bc i usually would have consulted her in this situation lmao
#shes cool and i dont want to lose her and i know Logically i love her but atm i feel so strange towards her#and idk what to do abt it bc i know in the past ive like...over-communicated a lot and over the last few yrs ive been trying to not do that#bc thats an anxious impulse i think .so like . self control#AND IMPORTANTLY . i may actually be the problem here ?? ok again i love her i dont want to lose her etc but basically ive noticed a pattern#which is that whenever she gets a bf/a man (even fwb) in her life she basically stops talking to me and the limited interactions we do have#become abt him. and while i support her it is acc too much. like we barely talked while she was w her ex bf until he became abusive and#then we talked a lottt like all our convos understandably were abt him . and then when they broke up we kept hanging out so i didnt rly see#the pattern there but still she seemed to centre men a lot in her life like sbe was excited to not date and find herself and then#immediately afterwards started seeing this other guy with whom shes basically in a relationship now#hes nice and all but like . HES ALL SHE TALKS ABT . actually we barely talk atp but when we do its abt him#she sends me reels sometimes but its all abt being jealous abt him etc . and shes bi but she said she doesnt like the idea of dating women#bc theyre scary . and i thought she was kidding in the ohhh women r so beautiful that theyre intimidating way but no she was being entirely#fr . she explained jts bc she was bullied by a girl in the past but like...bro ur ex bf literally abused you like surely you see men are#capable of just as much harm? but obvs who she dates is her own choice . but anyway she has consistently made plans w me then cancelled the#like an hr before . or asked to call me and then proceeded to not do so . when i ask her to meet/call its the same she just doesnt respond#or she cancels ? and while i understand anxiety sucks it feels SO WEIRD STILL . maybe im the problem slightly too bc ik i have no right to#feel this way but it rubs me the wrong way that ik she has so much time to spend w him/calls him all the time despite meeting him just a fe#months ago whereas i just have to like ...be ok w not actually having talked to her for a long time#its gotten to the point where when she says do you wanna meet/call i automatically respond yes and then just assume it doesnt happen . like#there have been several times over the past few months i double booked plans over when we were supposed to call/meet bc i was sure she#wouldnt show up and ive been right each time#like she sends me texts that she misses me or im her best friend etc etc occasionally and then acts rly . contrary to that ?#ive talked to her abt the issue w cancelling on me twice btw. when i was still dating the situationship person she would get sooo mad at#them for not respecting my time and shed tell me i deserve better etc etc and then like . she doesnt seem to respect my time at all#anyway she said she understand and she admits to like...being flaky etc but does nothing abt it#and its not like i can tell her to stop caring so much abt men bc we sorta had convos like that b4 she got This involved w this guy#and apparently it did nothing and the last thing i want is to police her relationships or get in her way#its just AUSHD AUGH#anyway i rly miss her it just doesnt feel the same at all anymore
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Part of me, deep deep down, wonders if we still may have a scene of MK on his knees versus his friends a la 4x07
#like maybe we WON'T. and that's totally fine#I did get ''You were locked in a corner- told to get on your knees and accept your fate! And you didn't!#You came back and chose to stand to meet your end! Together.'' Like at the very least *kisses kneeling/standing motif*#And it's like ''your friends will turn on you- seeing you for the monster you will become!'' like where did that fear come from. Wukong#Wukong & Macaque#And what are we MAYBE getting answers to next season. Wukong V Macaque#I just. *gestures* the chaos shit is so weird. the staff corruption is so weird#''When the chaos makes them who they are'' SO WEIRD#So like. Rn I feel like MK finally gets hey. You really don't have to do it alone! And it's okay it all leads to pain! Good job bestie#Like the option is it all leads to pain or there's nothing. Cool cool#But I do feel like. He needs to be okay with his role specifically? You know? Like the ''it's always my fault!'' aspect of it#''It definitely shouldn't be left up to me'' like. Well. It kinda was#This was YOUR choice#Idk man like. This is just gonna have consequences#like ''I saw my children couldn't survive the chaos'' We have lost the safety net of the cycle#We have lost the 10 kings. We've lost heaven (ish).#MK you quite literally chose your sentimentality for mortal pleasures over a lot. Over guaranteed survival#God part of me is like. U were so willing to kill yourself so you could finally make up for being you I know it#I fucking know it MK#Ur so rayla core#my god#U were like "I can finally make the world better than I found it by fucking killing myself'' like dude. dude no#this is such a weird amalgamation of getting better/worse MK like I love you#character of all time#And earlier in the season being like ''You're a beast. A monster'' and then calling nine a monster like. MK. whatever#was part of LBD's plan literally destroying chaos with the fire (''And everything beyond even that!'') like idk I'm losing it#lmk#lego monkie kid#lmk rant#lmk spoilers
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one of my old students from korea keeps telling her mom she misses me and saying she wants to talk to me and this happens to be the only mom i exchanged contact info with so she just messaged me telling me how much her daughter misses me and asked if we can video call and im fine with video calling but i have a feeling it may be a prelude to asking me to do video english lessons and im kinda 50/50 on how i would respond to that
#like on the one hand i love this kid she was an excellent student and her mom was always super nice to me as well#and i would not say no to some extra money for a couple of video calls per week where we chat and talk books or whatever#she is also starting first grade in the spring which is what makes me think her mom might bring it up and being in first grade is such a#peak time for reading and i have so many things i can recommend her#but also since leaving korea i have realized how underqualified i was for the job of 'english teacher' and indeed how underqualified most#are for it. and idk if i want the pressure and responsibility of being her english teacher again#like rn if i went back to korea i would hit up the mom and we'd all meet up for parfait or smth and it would be cool#i want to be able to do that whenever i visit korea#if i do a bad job as her long distance english teacher i worry we wont be able to hang like that#t
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‘well punk is rooted in socialist beliefsssssss’ okay cool. call yourself a socialist and get out of my music subgenre
#text#my post#mobi#it’s sort of a all punks are socialists (or at least should be because yes in practice that’s not necessarily what happens)#but not all socialists are punks. which is fine. like everyone wants to be a cool kid but you do actually have to listen to the music to#call yourself a fan of the music. sorry. i don’t know why this is like. mean to say.#like idk! i don’t even call MYSELF a punk because i don’t live the aesthetic all the time!#like i listen to the music and am involved in some scenes a bit but even ME. WHO LIKES AND IS ON SOME LEVEL INVOLVED WITH LIKING THE MUSIC#even i’m like yeah but am i a punk??? and at that point i KNOW ohhhhhh being kind is punk letting sunshine flow out of your ass is punk#crowd sure as shit isn’t. okay. sorry. done.#edit: some people in the notes are pointing out the subculture =/= the music genre and there are people who don’t or can’t listen to music#who are involved. this is all true! i apologize for not including this in my discussion#and that is true. obviously. however i need to point out once again that those people do PICK UP AESTHETICS and are involved in the spaces#and movement so my point still stands. sorry for leaning so heavily on the music aspect my b
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been super busy lately and haven't been able to create anything of substance. but here's a sketchy thing I made of one of my OCs! her name is Meg and I love her very much :)
#eliza draws#eliza doodle#my art#OC#fun fact I named her after my mom :)#but also her name is important to the story#I haven't shared it yet bc 1 I dont think anyone really cares and 2 its a little cringe el oh el#yk what ill put it in the tags so if people care enough they can choose to read it#basically there's this college kid and he finds out that hes the reincarnation of THE King Arthur and he has no idea what to do about it#this is his twin sister meg and she is lead to believe that she's the reincarnation of Morgan le fey#and she's so scared of becoming 'evil' and hurting her brother she ends up running away to Avalon#and Arthur and Merlin and his new friends (the new knights of the round table) have to save her from The Bad Guy#(who wants to get revenge on the planet earth for eradicating magic and has been kidnapping people in town to use for an Evil Ritual)#I haven't ironed out all of the details but I have lots of ideas for adventures in Avalon and the people that live there#rn I have like...a whole trilogy planned out in my mind. I think it would be cool to turn it into a book but im bad at writing so idk#right now the story is called Long Live The King so that's what ill tag it as#Long Live The King#LLTK#if you read all of this and made it this far hi!! o/ <3 ty!!
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it would be really cool to have another chronicles-esque series
#bwark#obviously i want the staffing issues and working conditions at olm to be better first#or just get another studio to do it#i think things might have improved? given that horizons has ran pretty smoothly so far? i hope so at least#not even taking the point of this post into consideration for that i just want the conditions at olm to be good#but back to chronicles. im not the type of guy who demands that ash be brought back#and reaches excessively to try and find hints that he will return#some ash fans can be really annoying about this esp the ones who criticize everything horizons does without even having seen it#like im completely fine with having a new cast and i don't need to bring him up every 5 minutes when discussing horizons#but with that being said i do miss the kid. baby's first blorbo#and i think a chronicles-esque series would be a good way to bring him back without tying him down#like they're not restricted to a series-long story and can just focus it on an episode by episode basis#and ik that's kinda what they tried to do with atbapm but that series was also about ending ash's time as the protagonist#meanwhile this wouldn't have any restrictions at all#hell even focusing on ash's old friends the same way the original chronicles did would still be cool even if ash isn't involved#idk im just spitballing here#the staff have said they're not opposed to bringing him back if a good reason calls for it#also i don't want it to be au ash. nothing against him but the au verse means nothing to me
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Another thing about Drayton that I've latched onto is his line about how 'you don't want to see me ugly cry' when you battle him. It makes me wonder how he'd cry exactly.
I'm torn between two types. One is that he's the sort to get really quiet when he cries. Just suppressing it full force, shoulders shaking and tears just sliding down his face. In private too cause it's not cool to be caught like that, and maybe he'd grab a pillow or something to muffle sobs but after like 5-10 mins, it's like a switch flipped. He calms down, washes his face and proceeds with his day normally. Sidesteps any and all questions about why his eyes look red rimmed and puffy.
Another is that he is an ugly crier. Just full on sobbing, snot and tears going down his face. Trying to wipe away but it just keeps coming. Kinda lashing out at people who try to get close or comfort him. He hates feeling this way, hates having others see him like this but it's just too much to pretend that he's fine right now. When he's calmed down, just rough scrubs to his face and then quick exit, ignoring people calling out to him.
Now what would make him cry like that is the big question haha
Oh bet he represses everything, and I mean every single thing lmfaoo
But I also imagine him being a mix of both in a way, like, he doesn't show it to anyone else ofc, he would never ever cry in public, that's so uncool in his words, but once he's alone it just,, it's a gradual thing, it builds up y'know, it's like the feeling of anxiety, where your chest feels tight and your throat feels dry and you can feel every nerve in your body almost pulsing just beneath your skin, and suddenly every little problem starts to pile up on him, until it reaches its peak and he just,,, tears up, tries to stop them, trying so hard, so hard he's trying so hard why can't they see that I'm trying and until he starts to really ugly cry, like, his chest hurts y'know, broken sobs echo within the room as he tries so hard to calm himself down, until his pokemon come out to try and calm him, until he lashes out on them, until he falls to his knees, falls to the floor, his Dragonite nuzzling close to him, hoping it's enough comfort without really hugging him, without having to risk him panicking again from being held too tight
And they wait for him y'know, wait till he's the one reaching out for them, wait till he's the one clinging to his pokemon, holding them tight, closer, impossibly closer, at least they won't leave him
Ofc, his process is still slow, after his tears were shed, he'd just,,, sit there or lie down and look up at the ceiling, letting the last remnants of his tears to fall before he takes a deep breath, let's it out, and sits upright again, chuckling to himself, saying shit like "well, that was something, huh?" And after he makes sure he looks presentable, he goes on his day as if he didn't just cry for almost thirty minutes
Low-key tho but other than being compared to his fam, I think his academic record would kinda haunt him, cause like yeah, he knows he's a strong trainer, he has no doubts with that, but he knows he's struggling w class and while he's so chill abt it, repeating his school year kinda messed with him a bit. Maybe that, and maybe the whispers abt him too ofc, how he knows other people doubt if he really wants to be a Dragon Master like Drayden and Iris, he is from a family of Dragon Masters, so why isn't he making more of an effort to become one? Idk but yeah hahaha
#speaking of i was supposed to post smth last night abt dray and iris too but i got so tired i forgot cbndnd#now i really forgot what its supposed to be lmfao#but damn tho w his cool kid persona he really gives off dave vibes hahah#idk its just that i know despite how he is he cares a bit too much but never ever shows it#bc emotions will only hurt you more yknow so he keeps it all in#idk i think that while hes good at hiding his emotions hes so shit at handling them#like w kieran he knows itd mess w kieran if he gets beaten again by the player#and how kieran doesnt like being called ex champ anymore as hes apologizing to drayton#but idk i think hed be the type to hold grudges bc yeah hes shit at handling emotions#he means well yknow its all fun and games for him#but sometimes payback is payback. and for him payback is fair#pokemon hcs#an ask and an answer#anon
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this post is not going to be very well planned out so i’d like you all to be niceys to me if i bungle the wording but i feel like the moment people understand that certain forms of bigotry stem from hatred for certain groups but can affect people not belonging to those groups and hurt them just the same is the moment a lot of our conversations about diversity, oppression, and how to combat marginalization stop going so hard in circles and start being productive
#marzi speaks#marzirants#i do think ppl are making progress#but like. with idk misogyny for example. that’s a form of bigotry i know well enough to ramble abt#there are plenty of specific types of bigotry that stem from misogyny. like�� the fundamentalist idea of the power heirarchy of a household#yanno the umbrella one. god -> husband -> wife -> kids#this power dynamic leads to a lot of abuse of power which is why so many fundamentalist homes have abusive fathers#the dynamic exists primarily to elevate the man above all others- especially the woman#(children are an oppressed class too but that is a diff conversation from rn)#but it still causes suffering to the children despite it being this way primarily to diminish the woman#hell it can even cause suffering to the man if he ‘fails’ to fulfill that social role of provider#misogyny will be leveled against him and he will have his manhood called into question by his community#and this misogyny is not ‘misdirected’ in this case. it’s working exactly as intended#and once we can start to understand concepts like this esp in the contexts of intersectionality#and how different types of bigotry may look very similar but occur for very different reasons#i think we’ll be able to have much more meaningful conversations about where this bigotry stems from and what pushes it forward#and therefore the best things we can do to combat it#PLEASE REMEMBER I AM IN A WEIRD STATE RN DON’T YELL AT ME IF I GOOFED PLS. LIFE BIG AND I’M TIRED AND SCARED OF EVERYTHING COOL
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