#idk what my professor was thinking tbh
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bought the statics ans mechanics of materials book and im so fuckin scared
this things 3 times the bible
#its 1000 pages im going to die TT#also the first half is english#but the second half is in italian??????#idk what my professor was thinking tbh#of ur gonna sell ur own version by stealing the eng versions of the books at the very least translate it girl
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Hi!! Your Cherik is so good and gorgeous 🤩🤩 If you don't mind wanna try to draw some Fall of X Cherik please?
thank you so much !!
i have a couple of ideas relating to the fall of x period specifically since theres. A Lot i wanna play with, so i hope this lil thing may be a satisfactory start :]]
and the obligatory bonus:
#xmen#xmen comics#fall of x#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#erik magnus lehnsherr#max eisenhardt#professor x#magneto#snap sketches#for clarity on of this tag ramble im calling magneto max OK ok#sorry it took me a while to answer- ive been busy this week !#but yah like i said theres a lot of Fall Of X moments i wanna poke at#one i really wanted to doodle around was max's time with the shadow king from Resurrection of Magneto#the third issue is prob my fave in general if im so tbh .... but i wont prattle bout that ill go back to my previous prattle#i dont think i have a comic in mind prob just a doodle with shadow charles....#i mean if im devious enough i can def turn it into a comic but for now i just know i wanna do something with that#honestly even this moment i might revisit when i have more time to draw something. a lil better#i dont hate this its a sound start- but i THINK i wanna draw a smooch. a lil kiss. idk we'll see#cause im cheeky like that. 'will this be the last time i see you' 'girl idk we can kiss about it though' etc etc#god not to get off topic but im so curious what will happen with these two ... but thats for a diff post i guess#honestly if you guys have any runs i should read lemme know !! i just finished way of x and bar that ive just been reading the 60s issues#i have a couple on my list i wanna check out but im always excited to look into recs if yall think theyre worth it !!#but ya. thats all from me for now#my time is so finite this week i hope i can draw these sillies again soon .. i have a lot of ideas i fear#maybe i can sneak in one more doodle tonight ... <- doubtful
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Person A: Do you want a beer? I’m paying.
Person B, going through the restaurant’s menu: No. Ugh, where’s the good stuff?
Person A, half jokingly: I thought you were an alcoholic.
Person B: Exactly. I’d need at least, like, four beers — without food — to get slightly buzzed, and my stomach can’t fit over 2 beers in it. I’m small. I’ll have a rum, neat.
#source: me#incorrect quotes#incorrect quotes ideas#incorrect quotes prompts#tw: drug mention#tw: drugs#i used to be so small when all i did was heroin and ketamine. since i started drinking (i only started drinking every night because the-#-opiate withdrawal was so fucking bad alcohol was the only thing that kept my legs from kicking all night long and my skin from feeling-#-like it was on cold wet fire somehow)#anyway. when all i did was opiates ™ i was like 45 kg and i’m 165 aka 5’5 like i looked like a sickly model#now it’s only been a month drinking and not doing morphine or some shit and i already gained 12 kg it’s insane i’m like almost 60 kg now#i’m queueing this for a month from now so hopefully it’ll have been 2 months when this gets posted#and like i say i’m an alcoholic cause i don’t think it’s normal to drink like 5 nights a week but i’m not chemically dependent on it like i-#-was with opiates like i’m sober half the time. ive never done surgery while drunk for instance. there was this one time i had just had 4-#-shots in the bathroom in secret cause i was having a panic attack and didn’t know what else to do but anyway.#and they asked me if i wanted to close up on a tubal ligation and i passed on the opportunity even though i was Fine bc idk i just didn’t-#-feel good ab it. which is more than i can say for my professor tbh#like some other medical intern said ‘wow it must be so hard having to be On Call 24/7. like i bet u can’t even drink’#and he said ‘oh come on surgeons have lives too. in fact i drank more than a few beers just a few hours ago lol’ and proceeded to cut-#-someone open#anyway. yeah. i don’t get drunk at work yk#felt like i had to make that clear
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dorotheas stats in feh are genuinely so ass but tbh. accurate to her in three houses like i love my girl so so much but it definitely took me a while to get there because my god. YOU CANT DO ANYTHINGGGG 😭😭😭
#ann cries about feh#ik shes a good support bot because of meteor’s attack range#which is when i was like ‘ohhh ok nevermind shes a fav’#but until then she was j like. hubert but worse. and my hubert was already not the greatest 😭#she has a lot of middling stats and nothing super stand out which is just not a great place to be in in a game like 3h specifically#and with me if i like a character i need to find them fun both in terms of character and gameplay#there are a lot of units i just dont like as much bc they were disappointing gameplay wise that has nothing to do with their character#like. for me thats lorenz. i couldnt make him good BUT I TRIED REALLY HARD 😭#i got dorothea there eventually and in a few random class saves she was more fun but like#u really have to push her 😭😭😭#all this to say im not surprised shes kinda bad in feh but if she can sing shes useful which#is more than i can say for most of my demoted favs. hello laurent…#tho i will say something i enjoy about her kind of crappy stats is that it just kinda fits her character#not that i think dorothea is canonically a bad fighter but i think shes an unmotivated one for sure#in the sense that shes one of the few characters post skip that is ALWAYS gonna be like ‘this war is making me depressed’ and its really#refreshing#and its not in like a linhardt way thats lije ‘yawnn… wars too much work’ but in the ‘PEOPLE ARE DYING PROFESSOR’ way which i like#especially in the black eagle house where no one gaf 😭😭#tbh the blue lions too shut up with ur knight shit idc 😭😭😭😭😭#what the hell was this post about. idk. i just love dorothea u guys
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they should make a life where you don't have appointments, work, school and scheduled events every single day for months on end
#i just wanna spend like 2 full days rotting in bed is that too much to ask#december i'm going on a vacation with family + gf and we're trying to schedule a lunch/dinner so that we can go over the itinerery#and other stuff like my gf is diabetic so she's going to tell everyone the procedures in case of an emergency etc#and the soonest i'm available for that is oct 20th like bruh#every week day i've got classes 7:30-11:50 work 13:00-17:00 and then gym therapy or futsal practice at night#oh and sometimes the professor that i'm the student assistant (? monitor in pt) for wants me to go to her night classes#and then on weekends i've got futsal practice sat morning usually a match either saturday or sunday legal advice clinic 4x a semester#and then birthdays friend group meetups (with ppl i haven't properly seen in a WHILE so i don't wanna bail) family stuff or gf's family stu#oh and i take care of the finances of our futsal team so there's that as well#and then when i'm free i spend my time with my love (who i mostly see on either day of the weekend and sometimes for dinner on weekdays)#those are my favorite “appointments” i love spending time with her so much but even though we have quite a few staying in dates we also#pretty frequently go out to cafes restaurants parks meet up with mutual friends etc#so like... no bed rotting ever adfdsal#honestly i am not THAT busy compared to some ppl that i know#like i work from home most days of the week commute only 20 min to college am not a part of any study group etc etc#but man... that vyvense sure is working cause i do not think i would be able to do what i do now when my adhd was unmedicated#also i'm thinking of maybe getting a new internship next year cause even though i love my current one it's in public law which atm#is the field i'm thinking of getting into after school but getting into private law in brazil with only public law uni experience is#incredibly difficult. so i wanna be 100% sure i actually want public law. which means experiencing private law.#which means a private law internship#so i'm wondering how the fuck imma be able to pull that off next year#at least it pays much more than my current one! like probably double!#but honestly even with all the shit that i do and wishing i had more time for myself i've actually been so happy lately#i'm learning more at uni than i used to be able to i do pretty well at my internship i've got wonderful friends both old and new#my family is well and we get along like always i switched positions in futsal and am doing suprisingly good as a goalkeeper#and i'm in my first ever relationship. it's been almost 8 months till we made it official and it blows me away how good it's been#like we haven't faught once. disagreed on a couple things sure. but not a single fight and tbh even disagreements are very rare#idk we communicate and give each other grace and i just feel so loved. she knows me so well. i love her so so so so much.#like man just this saturday we were having an early dinner at a bakery. she stopped what she was saying and just stared at me smiling#and like i couldn't hold eye contact. cause she's so so fucking beautiful and she was looking at me with so much love and i had to look awa
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>:(
#i need to vent a little im sorry pls ignore this if u are bothered by my thoughts#SH tw !!!!!!#this morning i was supposed to have my weekly therapy session but i had to cancel bc my mom got covid and obviously stayed home from work#and i do online therapy and i didnt feel comfortable doing it with my mom around but i really needed to do it tbh#and then my professor replied to my email with all of the things ive been working on since august and didnt say anything about the material#he just asked to call me on the phone tomorrow and i started to spiral…. like Spiral with a capital s#even now thinking about it my stomach sinks bc i have this feeling that his feedback is going to be negative and i just know my#barely existent self esteem is going to break and idk what im gonna do with myself then#this afternoon while i was spiraling all i wanted to do was /hurt/ myself. i kept thinking that i wasnt good enough and i had done a#horrible job.. so bad that he couldnt even tell me by email but needed to do it on the phone and i felt like throwing up and i couldnt get#/that/ thought out of my head and i could only cry#and all of this not even actually knowing what my professors feed back is going to be because this is just all in my head#but i was talking to my school friends and they were like oh its gonna be fine even if he doesnt like it u can still put the project in ur#portfolio hes not even our professor anymore and so on#and i kept saying that i knew that but i just could not handle that sort of feedback and rejection mentally#i was telling them that i knew i would crumble if i got real negative feedback and i was terrified of that and they just couldnt get it and#idk it made me feel really lonely#im a bit calmer now but i feel so depressed#i am really anticipating something that will hurt really bad
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sorry about your boyfriend btw. yeah I transed her gender. she's a girl now. wait you're cool with that? oh
#professor layton#rangela#randall ascot#hershel layton#angela ledore#r does an art#trans headcanon#btw: masked gentleman is now a woman. she transed her gender even harder after she fell#and descole's letter was addressed to her deadname ofc bc he wouldn’t know she transed her gender#so she's like. ok that isn't my name. but god i can't believe my friends would do that to me. i'll join you if you don't call me that again#descole a fellow deadname haver: okay yeah sure#idk *what* she would choose as her new name in this scenario tbh but#i don't hc angela as a lesbian btw but i think the phrasing of her coming out is ambiguous enough where it could be any sapphic orientation#idk how to do the 'sorry i did something to your boyfriend' meme i tried
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Just saw an email from a professor saying she the class to meet in person at least 3 times for an ONLINE class…
I’d have to spend more money on transportation bc I was only planning on commuting to school twice a week and now she’s tryna make us come in.
AND I’d be there from 5:30-8:00 pm which means I wouldn’t get home till 9:30-10:30 pm… like school hasn’t even started yet and I’m already annoyed. I hated taking late afternoon/evening classes during the fall bc I had to wait for the bus in the dark and I’d come home hungry 😭. I purposely signed up for morning in-person classes and online night classes so I wouldn’t have to deal with this type of stuff smh.
Anyways I’m not gonna show up, I’ll just use the excuse that I commute to school and I’m not tryna spend extra money on bus tickets. This is my go-to excuse to get out of going on campus late at night (that and having work)
#me#rant#college#like I’m so annoyed don’t call it an online class if you’re gonna force us to come in person#I hope some of the other students email her and say they can’t show up with but idk bc this is a class mixed w/ undergrad and grad students#and if I say it should be illegal to call it an online class and then try to make students show up in person then what???#and I bet she’ll just let me listen to the lesson on zoom anyways… so why make me come in in the first place#ALSO I don’t even have a schedule for my work schedule yet…#it’s so annoying bc professors never think about students who commute and/or work smh#buses are less frequent at night which is another reason I prefer morning/early afternoon classes tbh
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#see i know i can’t and i know i won’t but i’m giggling to myself at the prospect of emailing my professor to let him know#that i didn’t finish my presentation bc d*pression when the damn thing is about d*pression 🥰 like LOL#and tbh i don’t even think that’s what this is i’m just. idk man
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i fucked up 😌
#what makes me feel better that mr perfect at everything™️ from my group also didn't manage to solve it so i feel less stupid#he fell for the beginner trap which was rewriting what the math program solved and it was almost endless page of various calculations#and he didn't manage to rewrite it in time#meanwhile i used my head for once and half did something myself half used the program for some parts of the equation#was it correct? i doubt it but i still feel that what i did had more sense because at least i understood what i was doing#instead of blindly rewriting quadruple fractions#and i hope i'll get at least idk 0.2 points#but in all honestly i think i already accepted that those exams go not as good as i'd want them to#so i guess it's fine#on the contrary to that one guy form my group because he's FURIOUS right now lol#but tbh we have online tests without cameras so what did he expect. easy equations? oh come on#don't blame it on the fact that the test is hard if the test conditions are perfect for people to cheat and people WILL cheat#and the professor knows it hence messed up tests
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Got my score back for my presentation, & it was About what I was expecting. I knew the weak point of the presentation was how dense it was + how much I had to cover, and as a result I did end up largely reading off of the slides. Tried to insert some extra information about the stuff, but didn't have much in the way of discussion built into my slides. So like... I can accept that criticism lol (even if it does sting a lil 😭)
Overall tho I got an average score of 8.6, professor score of 8... I'm not sure actually what will count for my grade. Is he including his score in the average at the top??? Also 8.6 is also not right. When I calculated my score from the tallied numbers, I got 8.31 for class average, 8.29 if I include the professor's rating in there as just one. For some reason, what he wrote is higher than either?? I certainly won't complain about a higher score, though I'm confused lol
But yeah people in general praised my research and preparation. Also video choice. Yay!
I will now try to focus on the good points and not worry so much about the bad. Regardless of any of it, 8.6 or 8 (out of max 9) is generally Pretty Good. Might as my professor for clarification on the grades when I next see him.
#speculation nation#which will probably be on...monday. he said it doesnt rly matter if i get the thing in on friday or monday#so since i'll already be on campus monday for class. also gives me more time to do it. it just makes sense.#oh also i was praised for the use of my quiz at the beginning hfksk yayyyy#gonna be looking thru my classmates reviews again i think. theyre generally nice.#i got 9 scores of 9. 4 scores of 8. 2 of 7. and 1 of 6. (again. where 9 is the top score)#the funny thing is. well the two 7s have valid critiques on them (primarily my delivery lol)#the 6 doesnt really?? have any criticisms in it. which is strange. like girl why did u give me a 6 😭😭 tell me pls 😭😭😭#another praise i got was for including both sides of things. which tbh that was a big part of what video i chose over ERA#bc when i looked at that i was like 'why in the world would people protest against the Equal Rights Amendment?'#so i felt like it was an important thing to include. found a video that included perspectives from key figures on either side.#bc i dont Agree with the ppl who oppose it. but i think the context is important to understand Why we dont have the ERA yet.#ok looking thru all the things again makes me feel better about it all. overall the criticisms are valid lol#i definitely dont prefer the presentation style i had. just. ya kno. god there was so much to cover.#i will accept this deduction... as it is fair. also tho i do not know what my final score is 😭 professor please#'well prepared but weaker in delivery' was my professor's summary of it. yeah . yeah😔#oh well at least it's over lol. and even if it's an 8/9 thats not bad. would love the 8.6/9 to be my final score tho lol#idk i'll ask for clarification. later.
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c:
#not fandom related#personal log stardate#trans stuff#wow i feel so blessed#over the last few weeks ive been coming out to all my family members and friends#ive been out to my closest friends for a long time but now ive also told not so close friends like former colleagues that im still#in contact w. and so far. every single person has reacted positively#theyre all like wow ive been assuming youre trans for a while now but i didnt want to bother you when you werent ready to share by yourself#and im so happy for you. they all said this!! more or less#sure my closed family freaked out when i started T but theyve managed to deal w it and have come around now and are happy for me#ive not ever experienced transphobia or homophobia from the ppl im close w and i feel so blessed bc of it#even my friends during my teenage yrs took it well when i told them im bi#and well yknow what teens are like. sure i have this one uncle whos said a few transphobic things#but i hope hes gonna come around now and stop this shit now that he knows im trans#also sry for the spelling im on my pc and tbh i cant be bothered to press shift and that little line thingy. idk what its called. apostroph#i think. anyway. even professors at university took it well. my doctors took it well. its like. wow!!! blessed blessed blessed#only this one therapist was transphobic and i immediately stopped seeing her after she asked me if it turns me on to wear mens underwear#like wtf lol. yikes
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💭
#tbh this professor for this online pharmacology class sucks and has a stick up her ass#like what’s the point of having us do discussion and quizzes on videos if you’re emphasizing to study these dumb flash cards???#she’s also hella strict with the discussions too and like for what???#requiring us to format original posts and replies a specific way/including a word count/ being strict of citations/etc#like this whole class could just be memorizing flash cards and takins exams tbh since nothing else really matters#and again I’ve never had an online class that proctored exams/quizzes require us to do a desk scan before???#it’s dumb af/I gotta lift my whole laptop to do the desk/workspace#I’m gonna be mad if she’s says anything about me working on my dad’s desk/office cuz his computers are off and I removed his notes/notebooks#i still don’t know if I did it right tbh but I tried to show the desk and that no notes or papers were around#idk I’m a bit anxious that she’ll email me and make me take a new quiz with new questions cuz that’s what she threatened us with#but also I only looked at my computer screen/ I didn’t look off to the side or anything like other people did on the 1st quiz#although tbh I did write a couple things on my left hand but I never looked at it#but I’m a little worried if I adjusted my glasses with my left hand and if it’ll flag that my left had had stuff inside…#although proctorio I think only flags of you look off to the side and away from your computer screen which I didn’t…#idk I’m probably overreacting and overthinking… I did good on the quiz and got 14/15 and I did remember the material#jazz uses curse! 💜
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Disgusting holy shit
and while we’re talking abt noah schnapp as a fandom, we should also be calling out brett gelman who is a HUGE zionist and is posting increasingly troubling calls for violence, is vehemently opposed to a ceasefire, and posts pictures of normal (aka non-famous/public figures) pro-palestinian protestors to his insta story, basically saying “find them” to his almost 1 millions followers
#Ops tags the only thing I've seen about celebrities besides the Noah schnapp thing is gal Gadot obviously being a zionist (always has been)#But I'm not shocked that many celebrities are on the casual zionist bandwagon (Noah schnapp and Brett gelman go beyond that)#Bc i see celebrity public opinions as often heavily impacted by what they're meant to think in order to cause the least damage#Often not always. Painting broad strokes#But I think being a celebrity makes you more susceptible to powerful propaganda tbh#Also there is a bit of McCarthyism going on#People in journalism and education are getting silenced and fired for supporting Palestine. My school had a protest for this recently.#It's reflective of the McCarthy era which heavily affected actors.#Not saying that actors and such will be blacklisted for supporting Palestine but I imagine it's heavily discouraged#Idk though#What I do know is that I haven't taken people who accuse anti-zionists of lacking education seriously for one second#I took political science courses in the beginning of my college career and one class was mainly about Zionism (and antisemitism)#globalism & propaganda in countries like Denmark whose right wing groups will pose their Progressive Ways as a mask for xenophobia#(Denmark would get Muslim refugees/immigrants and right winged groups would say the immigrants are against everything they stand for)#(such as being pro-Lgbt rights)#Anyways it's similar to what people are doing with Israel#In addition to the spread of literal misinformation and silencing the truth. There's this angle of like we should support Israel#Bc it's more western and Palestine doesn't support gay people#Which is a really sick angle. My best friend's mom used it against her.#Anyways the other reason I don't take that talking point abt education seriously:#The most well-read (in related subjects) people I know are pro Palestine lol. My grandpa was a history teacher#And has always disagreed w US involvement in the middle east (including the making of Israel in this)#Was called a traitor for protesting war in Iraq. Now look at public opinion.#my professor? Pro Palestine (he doesn't talk about it but offhandedly mentioned he had to go join the protest downstairs)#(I knew he would be based on what he teaches us)#But even without all that you have to see that what's happening to Palestine is genocide#Israel isn't. They're continuing to send young people on birthright RIGHT NOW#My friend's friend got an email confirming it's still happening either yesterday or two days ago.#Actually I'm highly suspicious of the fact that they're doing it still#Like is this ... A strategy....
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✮˚. ᵎᵎ I LOVE YOU I'M SORRY 𖦹彡⋆。˚
⤷ spidey!ellie williams headcanons
⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪ sophia's letter ! i took a hiatus without meaning to😞 unfortunately this is all i had time for, but it was lowk fun. tbh i think i’ll stick to one shots bc this is basically a few blurbs in one, like this is all over the place idk i don’t like it but i needa post. also, LIAAAM NOOO all payne no liam :((
.ᐟ. . . content warnings. r's race is not specified, characters death, spiders, fighting, unrequited love, r is bi/pan, ellie mistaken for a guy, ellie mistakes r for a straight girl, mental instability, fall from a high building twice, alternative universe, assault attempt, unserious writing style, grammar mistakes probably
{ inspired by @hiiikiko ‘s spider-man!ellie. pls check out their work, it’s so good ! }
do not support naughty dog or zionist neil druckmann
HELP HERE🇵🇸
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie personally i think she's already a peter parker varient, trust me. these goofballs haunted down the killer of their father-figure for christ sake! of course peter had that whole not killing moto but like... oh well!
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie in my mind gets her powers basically the same as in tasm, except she was only in the Anderson Tower (hehe see what i did there) bc one of her professors assigned a thesis on one of their exhibitions. of course she goes the same day you do, the girl she lowkey has a crush on.
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie is a major LOSER omg. she admires you from afar bc she doesn't have the balls to start a conversation. she doesn't even think you're into girls to begin with so whats the point. leave it to ellie williams to fall for a straight girl smh
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie needs glasses to see or else everything is just a blur. she never takes them off, not even to sleep, yet somehow she doesn't see you until it's too late. now, ellie only ever sees you in class, so in her defense, poor girl wasn't expecting you to just appear in front of her and bump into you. otherwise, she would've turned the other way.
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie has an apology problem, at least when she's nervous and boy do you make her nervous with your hair down and pretty face and glossy lips and cute outfits and gosh, she needs to get a grip. you tell her it's fine with a little laugh and ellie feels her face grow warm.
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie like canon ellie, is an overthinker, so of course she's thinking abt that awkward interaction. well, it was for her, you didn't even think twice abt it. you're a chill person and it wasn't like ellie shoved you hard. ellie didn't have that kind of strenght... not yet, anyway.
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie was just too distracted to notice a colorful spider jump on her back, only feeling a sting after stepping foot out of the mutlibillion dollar company tower. you can imagine her disturbed look when she got to her dorm, feeling around her neck until she plucked off a web string with a dead spider still attached on its end. yuck. to make matters worse, ellie started feeling sick. she passed out and didn't wake up until noon of the next day.
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie was an orphan after her mother passed away when she was nine. she was left under the care of her mother's best friend, marlene, since that was the closest thing to family she had left. to ellie, marlene was family, so she'd called her aunt marlene. i think you can guess where this is going...
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie had promised marlene she would help with a charity event called the fireflies, but with ellie's new... condition, ellie just had too much on her mind. trying to balance college, having a lesbian crush on a straight girl, and finding out you can climb walls is a lot for a nineteen year old. and okay, maybe the first two are universial experiences, but definitely not the third. who is she supposed to talk to abt that?
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie was stressing and she never had the best temper when stressed. she had been focusing in creating organic web fluid bc in my au shes not gonna have anything shooting out of her, okay? i mean i still have some questions for tobey's spidey.... moving on! the charity simply slipped out of her mind and when ellie checked her phone after an entire day of testing her new abilities, swinging and even doing a handstand in just her index and middle fingers, she saw abt fifteen missed calls from aunt marlene. ellie decided to stop by to apologies and that’s when all hell broke lose.
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie acts like her mother's death doesn't bother her after a decade, but when her name falls out of aunt marlene's lips during her lecture abt ellie's bad puntuality and lack of time managment, it was obvious it's still an open wound.
'you are a lot like your mother, ellie,' marlene spoke. so far ellie was just nodding along to whatever marlene was saying but that sentence really annoyed the hell out of her. 'you truly are, and that's a good thing.' ellie's jaw tightened, but she didn't say anything. 'but she lived believing that if you can do good things for people, you have an obligation to do those things,' marlene pointed a finger at ellie's direction. 'that's what's at stake here. not choice; responsibility.' ellie scoffed. 'that's nice. yea, that’s all well and good. so where's she?' 'what?' marlene stops. 'where is my mom? don't you think it was her responsibility to tell me this herself?' the words coming out of her mouth taste like venom. there's tears threatening to spill, but ellie refuses to let them fall. marlene exhales, shaking her head. 'how dare you?' ellie raises her voice for the first time that night. "how dare i? how dare you!'
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie never got the chance to apologize for snapping at marlene. she knew deep down that marlene was just looking out for her, yet she was too in her head to see it then. ellie had stormed out right after and marlene went out looking for her. and it was the same thief that ellie did nothing to stop as she witness him rob a deli and even handed her a drink which she took without a second thought who killed marlene that night.
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie will never forgive herself for that, for not stopping the thief and letting him kill the one person she had left. since then, ellie uses her powers to help others.
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie also has a joel in this universe and he's finally being introduced, yippe! im mixing andrew's and tom's peters so i couldn't make him the uncle ben ik y'all thought he was gonna be. he's more like mcu's aunt may and tony. now bare with me pls
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie made herself a suit out of old clothes and a handmade mask. she'd been going around the neighborhood for a few weeks doing small things: returning stolen bikes, bringing cats down from trees, helping senior citizens cross the street, etc. there were no headlines on her yet, but she was growing popular on reddit. it wasn't until one day ellie felt this weird chill down her spine. everything happened so fast, ellie just remembers the after math, the adrenaline rush of catching a 3000 pounds car going at 40 miles with her bare hands to stop it from crashing into a school bus. that was the first time ellie saved a live, multiple at that, and she knew this is what she wanted- no, needed to do.
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie had kept a low profile as her alter ego until then. never would she imagine that the video of her stopping a moving vehicle would get in the hands of the joel miller, ceo of miller industries. he's known of the expirements jerry had been doing with all sorts of animals and he didn't like it. joel never thought jerry had it in him to actually modify the human dna, but here he stood with a wall-crawling college student.
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie didn't fangirl like mcu peter did when he met tony for the first time (i miss them). in fact she had the opposite reaction. she wasn't a fan of joel just like you and i aren't a fan of elon musk, but she respected him bc he has a flying suit. in this universe, joel was iron man and like tony, he told the entire world. when one of his enemies' killed sarah, he stopped wearing the suit. there's also no avengers bc that's too much writing for me 😇
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie agrees to work with joel only bc he promised to make her a super cool suit with lots of new tech. he said her homemade suit looked like an onesie and the only insult ellie could come up with was that his face looked like an onesie... oh how did joel wished the one to get bit would've been a grown adult smh
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie learns to be more in tune with her new abilities as time goes by. that chill down her spine, yea remember that? obviously we know they're spidey senses, but ellie doesn't know that, not until now. she kinda put two and two together, how she would get the feeling every time something bad was gonna happen. what pissed her off was that she had a you sense too. her stupid enhanced senses told her when you were near, but it only happened with you. like, what the fuck seriously
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie is still a loser even after the bite so of course she has yet to talk to you. you now acknowledge her after the incident at the anderson tower, but it's just smiles if you two make eye contact. god, ellie feels so pathetic abt this clearly unrequited crush. until one day she overhears - not that she did it on surpose, it just happens a lot with her enhanced hearing - you talking about her! well... her alter ego, but it's still her.... yea, abt that actually....you and everyone else seem to think she’s a he?????
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie is part of the tiny tittie committie as we know, so when she puts on joel's new and upgraded suit, she looks flat chested. she wasn't insecure of her size or anything, but ever since publicly teaming up with joel and gaining more publicity, people have mistaken her for a man, giving her the title of spider-man. it made her bust out laughing tbh
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie started seeing her masked self almost everywhere, especially in classes. that's when she heard you and your friend talk abt her, or well him.
'i need him,' ellie almost choked on air hearing you speak. you were watching a video compilation on tiktok of spider-man saving people with chloe, a friend you made during the beginning of the semester. 'ew, he could be like your dad's age.' chloe laughed. ellie frowned, sitting a few rows back. she is definitely not old enough to be a college student's dad. as a matter of fact, she can't even be a dad so. you smiled at chloe and shrugged. 'that wouldn't matter, because what matters is what's on the inside.' it was clear that you were joking, but as ellie looked up to where you were sitting she wondered how you would react if you found out it was a girl you were talking about. would it matter? would you still like her then? or would you be disappointed?
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie tries to get over this crush by focusing on spider-boy, or wtv his name is. ever since becoming the city's hero, it's like everything has been dial up to eleven. crime fighting is far more intense but ellie likes the challenges. she's gotten a little cocky too, always joking and teasing the criminals she fights. her suit has a voice changer and she has a blast using it.
'my grandma punches better than you,' she'd fake a yawn while grabbing the fist of one of the robbers when he tried to throw a punch. then she'd turn to the other who is already webbed up, 'actually, i never met my grandma.' then she'd punch the first guy just hard enough to kick him out cold. ‘but i bet her punches are still better.’
another instance is when she stopped a pretty big drug deal. about five men were going over what the plan was for the day, none noticed when ellie sneaked in until what seemed to be the leader grunted, 'you guys know what to do, now stay out of my ass.' ellie sighed loudly, 'it's hard to miss it.'
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie is just having the time of her life with this new identity that it becomes addicting, it's like her copying mechanism fr. joel starts noticing that ellie has become sloppy and tries to warn her, and although ellie promises she'll do better, she doesn't. she's saving lives, jesus christ. can’t a girl have fun?
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie learns the hard way that not everyone is a fan, especially not the police. and okay yea that humbled her alr. it also annoys her bc she's doing half their job so you'd think they'd be more appreciative but no they named her a criminal and put out a reward for whoever can discover the vigilante's identity. now she has to put in double the work bc everyone she fights tries to pin her down to take off her mask. ellie really dislikes your mother for that, the police captian of the boston police department - bc im messy hehehe. you're like in love with spider-man tho, and are quite vocal abt it too
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie loves to hear you fangirl over her. like okay you're unaware of a lot of minor details - like the fact that it's actually spider-woman - but that’s okay, it's fineeee! baby steps right? well ellie takes a huge big girl step one night when she saves you from a gross man trying to assault you.
her spidey senses were going off, and she let them take her to a dark alley. she heard the voice of a girl struggling to push someone off as she crawled on the wall. ellie froze when she realized it was you, her heart beat picking up. this is the first time someone she knows is in trouble, and it made her feel uneasy. 'buddy, is this anyway to treat a lady?' ellie jumped down, voice changer on, making both you and the sick drunk to look over at her. 'i don't think so,' she grabbed him by the shoulder and pushed him to the ground, off of you. 'go.' she spoke, a little desperate to get you out of here. you stood in shock until you looked up at your savior and then booked it out of there. you run further into the alley until you made it to the other end, turning back behind you once you’re under a lamppost. you frowned when you couldn't see anyone. where did they go? ellie held onto a web while she came down upside down. feeling movement, you turned and came face to face with masked eyes looking back at you. 'you saved me.' it was her job, of course she would save you, but no words came out. all ellie did was nod. there was a moment of silence as you two stared at each other, both out of breath. you from prior events, and ellie because she's never been this close to you. you slowly brought your hands up to ellie's neck where the mask began. ellie quickly grabbed one of your wrists to stop you, but you reassured her. 'i won't take it off,' you whispered. ellie let go of your hand and felt you pull her mask up to her nose so only half of her face showed. you held onto the sides of her face as you lean in to kiss her lips. ellie knew it was wrong, that in a way she was abusing her power. but when your lips connected with hers, all she could think about was how soft you felt. there was no way she would get over you now.
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie swang you home that night and ever since she visits you almost everyday, im talking five days out of the week. girl has it BAD after that kiss #freemygirl frfr😞 the visits start innocent and it wasn't like ellie was expecting anything, but somehow you two end up making out and who is ellie to stop it ok? she is just a girl. i mean she does feel bad at the beginning bc you STILL believe she's a male - in your defense, ellie still keeps her mask half way on even in a make out session as well the voice changer. you understand that "he" just wants to keep "his" identity a secret, especially after your mom's manhunt, so you don't question it. and that makes ellie feel even worse.
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie was planning on telling you, i swear, but then joel found out ellie was seeing a girl and he warn her not to tell you anything. she was abt to cuss him out until he told her she was alr putting you in danger by being associated with a crime fighting hero, you knowing who is under the mask would just make you a bigger target. not to mention your own mother still hates her guts, and is putting you in multiple uncomfortable situations.
'can i at least tell her i'm a girl?' ellie questioned, already fed up by this conversation. she rubbed the bridge of her nose before looking up at joel, who she had grown to look up to as a mentor. although they still bicker. joel sighed, 'we talked about this, kiddo. if people keep thinking there's a spider-man, the changes of finding out your identity are low.' 'she won't tell anyone.' ellie trusts you. in the time that you've been together, you haven't told any of your friends that you're up in your room with none other than boston's masked vigilante. you kept this part of your life like an oath, and ellie appreciates you for it. however, joel doesn't know you like she does. 'have you forgotten who her mother is? this could be a set up, and you're falling for it.' ellie shakes her head. 'she's not like that.' 'look, if it had been any other girl, i would've said go for it. but she's the daughter of the woman who wants to turn you in, dead or alive.' ellie looks away from joel, but he continues. 'we gotta be smart about this.' ellie sighs, nodding. 'okay.'
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie wants to go up to you in person as herself whenever she sees you in class, but knows she can't. like what do you mean her tongue was exploring your mouth just the night before but now you two are back to strangers????? it's driving her crazyyy and she feels so stupid and so guilty. it doesn't matter how many people she saves, ellie feels like she's going to hell for doing this to you. yet she can’t stop, not now, she’s addicted to your taste and when she sees you as her masked self later that day, she smacks her lips against yours for all the times she felt the argue to kiss you as ellie but couldn't.
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie is still bitter towards joel for not letting her confess her secret to you but they've grown close and he is helping her find out why jerry anderson would create radioactive spiders. they don't find much until the top of the anderson tower bursts into flames. boston for sure thought they were going to be the next 9/11 but thanfully ellie got everyone out safetly. it was afterwork hours so not a lot of people were there, but when ellie went back to make sure she didn't miss anyone, a sinister laugh echoed. ellie's body went cold and her spidey senses were going crazy. if you couldn't tell jerry is the green goblin in this au but i still picture willem dafoe bc he's just TEW good as the green goblin so im recasting him as jerry 😁
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie definitely has a whole panic attack after being thrown against multiple walls by this not so kind dr anderson. she was just so overstimulated and physically hurt that it was all too much at once. this is ellie's first big villian and the old man can punch alr
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie has friends - dina and jessy ofc, but they’re unaware of her double life. ik i said she's a loser and i haven't mention them, but in my au her and abby were childhood friends until abby was sent to boarding school. they're literally peter and harry, you get me? so like norman, jerry was also neglectful and wouldn't pay attention to abby's friends, especially ones from so long ago, but ellie remembers him - also bc who wouldn't know the jerry anderson - and she knows that whatever she fought that night wasn't jerry, not entirely. he had this crazy look in his eyes and creepy smile, flying around in a hoverboard, accusing her of stealing his powers. yikes, awkward...
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie continues to fight him for some time, trying to figure out what the hell happened to him and how to help him. along with discoverying about anderson's sickness, ellie also finds out her mom used to work with jerry and she's the one who created the formula to cross-species genetics. yup, that really sent her spiraling - also im so uncreative and unoriginal im stealing from tasm bc ellie's mom also sabotaged the formula and added her dna into the equation, which is why ellie got her powers while jerry went nuts. okay he also gained some abilities but at what cost?
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie goes to your place after finding all of this shit out without telling you any of it, but just being near you helps her calm down. at this point, she knows so much abt you and you so little abt her, but you don't seem to mind. you tell her that you've been fighting a lot with your mom recently, and ellie listens. it's nice to talk abt other things to get her mind off of wtv is happening in her messed up life. you ask her if her parents know what she does, and for some reason, ellie opens up. she tells you the few memories she has of her mother, something she's never done with anyone apart from marlene but even then those moments were rare, more so now that's she gone too.
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie is letting her guard down around you more and more, that she doesn't realize she's being followed. in her mind, your apartment is a safe place so why would she need to be on alert? well ima tell you why: her spidey senses woke her up in the middle of the night, but she dismisses them since she's been anxious for the past few days. it isn’t until later when she goes to class, the one with you in it, that her senses go off again, stonger this time after not seeing you enter through the doors at all. you've been late before, but never absent since attendance is mandatory in this class. she rushes to your apartment after class thinking maybe you're sick - which she knows isn't the case bc she saw you last night and you were perfectly fine. when she gets there, there's a green note sitting eerly on your bed waiting for her. 'WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, SPIDER-GIRL'
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie feels like she's going to throw up. jerry knows and he has you. ellie spends all day trying to locate you with joel's help. they were able to track jerry's/green goblin's last location to be in an abandoned clock tower on the outskirts of boston. without wasting anymore time, ellie rushes there.
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie gets to the clock tower as the last bits of sunlight set in the horizon. she climbs up and peaks through one of the broken windows. there, she sees you tied up to a pull with your arms above you kinda like mary jane in the spider-man 2. ellie couldn't see jerry anywhere but her focus was to get your out of here so very quietly she went in. you tried to warn her but by the time she removed the ropes on your wrists, a little pumpkin bomb landed next to her, exploding and making both you fall. i won't write the entire scene but i'll tease something - fyi when i say clock tower, think tasm2 gwen's death scene
jerry - or the green goblin - held you in his arms as his board hovered over ellie. he grabbed your jaw harshly, forcing you to keep your teary eyes on ellie. her gaze remained low after taken off her mask. she was following the goblin's instructions, too terrified of something happening to you. yet, she couldn't bring herself to meet the look of betrayal in your eyes. 'no, that can't be,' goblin mocked, and ellie never wanted to punch someone as much as she does right now. 'where is spider-man? i could've sworn there was a man under the mask. i thought so, did you, pretty face?' his neck turned to look at you, question ringing with faux surprise. ellie clenched her fists, finally looking up at the goblin. 'you got what you wanted, now let her go!' goblin broke into a crazy smile. 'i want you dead, spidey! i need your blood!' 'you have me. just, let her go and we can talk about this.' ellie took a few careful steps forward. the goblin chuckled before nodding, 'okay.' then he pushed you off his board. 'no!' ellie tried to jump after you, but the goblin took a hold of her and threw her against a wall across the platform she was standing.
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie starts seeing joel as a father figure that night after he shows up in the suit. nobody had seen joel as iron man in years, but he couldn't let the girl he had grown to care for as a daughter fight alone. he got you to the ground safely before going back to help ellie fight the goblin. unfortunately he managed to escape but they were able to get a sample of his blood to start working on a cure.
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie puts her mask back on before going up to you. she's holding onto her side, for sure with a few broken ribs that will heal in a week thanks to her fast self healing, and a limp on her walk. you're still shaken up from everything, from being kidnap and finding spidey's identity. you look at her with this unreadable expression and ellie starts trying to explain herself. joel flies down, interrupting the conversation to tell you it was his idea not to tell you anything, but before you can speak, sirens are heard outside the tower.
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie watches as you run to your mom, hugging her as she asks you if you're hurt. ellie stands to the side doing that thing where her foot fidgets with the dirt and she starts playing with her hands, lowk feeling lonely. that’s when joel will come in with a hand on her shoulder, telling her she did good and that almost makes her break down. dw guys, i promise they won’t end up like mcu peter & tony or game ellie & joel🥹
✮⋆˙ᖭི༏ᖫྀ ˙⋆ ✮ spidey!ellie doesn't see you in class after that, not for a week. she also doesn't go to your place to respect the fact that you most definitely need space. you're kinda mad at ellie, but you're feelings are still there. if only she had been honest from the beginning. obviously you recognized her from class, so after a week you go up to her. annndddd this is where im ending this bc i have an exam to study for but yea yea you end up forgiving her and all that lovey-dovey stuff, hope y’all liked this chaotic headcanon
˚ ༘ 🦕𖦹⋆。˚
#୧ ‧₊˚ 🎀 ⋅ 𝕾𝐎𝐏𝐇𝐈𝐀 𝖂𝐎𝐑𝐊𝐒#୧ ‧₊˚ 🩰 ⋅ 𝕾𝐎𝐏𝐇𝐈𝐀 𝕽𝐀𝐌𝐁𝐋𝐄𝐒#୧ ‧₊˚ 🌷 ⋅ 𝕾𝐎𝐏𝐇𝐈𝐀 𝕾𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒#୧ ‧₊˚ 🍰 ⋅ 𝕾𝐎𝐏𝐇𝐈𝐀 𝖂𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆#୧ ‧₊˚ 🍓 ⋅ 𝕾𝐎𝐏𝐇𝐈𝐀 𝕽𝐄𝐐#୧ ‧₊˚ 🎧 ⋅ 𝕾𝐎𝐏𝐇𝐈𝐀 𝕬𝐒𝐊𝐒#୧ ‧₊˚ 🏹 ⋅ 𝕾𝐎𝐏𝐇𝐈𝐀 𝕭𝐋𝐔𝐑𝐁𝐒#ellie williams fanfiction#ellie williams imagine#ellie williams x reader#ellie tlou#ellie x reader#ellie x fem reader#ellie the last of us#spidey!ellie williams#au ellie williams
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i shifted accidentally for the first time last night 😭
it wasn't my first time shifting, but it was my first time shifting on accident to a reality completely unknown to me 😭 Anyway here's that (long, quite detailed) story time !! (with reaction pics of course 😋)
i was so tired last night, and i had to wake up at 7AM today, i wanted my mind to be quiet so i could fall asleep easily and not have any vivid/random dreams (they make it so i can't rest well)
my subconscious with a different plan:
i remember being asleep here, lying on my bed and the darkness of my room, and all of the sudden i was standing in front of a white haired professor in a school in JAPAN !!!
now I don't have any japanese drs, or am close to anything japanese for that matter (i dont watch anime, etc etc) i think maybe i thought how i'd like to go to a tokyo grand prix for five seconds yesterday but that was it 😭 there was absolutely no reason for me to have woken up in a different country AND AT A SCHOOL !! for that matter like i genuinely have no idea what happened.
ANYWAYS...
the professor just talked about how i was new and my professors, and classmates, and all (i don't remember exactly what he said but when i woke up i knew it was an introductory "welcome to this school talk) and sent me to a classroom where i got way too worked up about a sexist mf, i kinda yelled at him for being sexist and the shit he was saying.
(i didn't YELL i confronted him and told him his ideology was stupid and might've given him (thrown...ish) some stuff to him but it was on topic i promise it was more like i landed him... some trash... like i put it at his feet for him to pick up okay, let's move on)
then i left that class !! but it was just as other classes were about to begin and another guy that had been in that class with me dragged me into another classroom because he had liked me (he didn't say it but he was rlly nice to me so i assumed he liked me) (liked me as in yk he didn't hate me after the whole class confrontation, i just had so he wasn't as bad as that other mf !!, im not saying he fell in love w me just in case anybody gets confused) (also the classroom wasn't empty he just had another class and dragged me along with him)
in that classroom he told me to put my hood on (i was wearing a black cotton jacket with a hood on it, we didn't have uniforms) and to not draw too much attention to myself (it was an all boys class, so if the professor found out im a girl she would've kicked me out and tbh idk what i would've done 😔)
and then the teacher came in, (i wanna describe her bc she was sooo,,, teacher core LMAO she had a big nose, glasses, red hair up, burgundy sweater and a white sort of lab coat thingy) introduced the class, and said she was going to play a movie, closed the class curtains and that's when i started remembering i had shifted here.
she played the movie (looking back at it now, i think they might've picked up from where they had left off in a previous class)
it was a movie with rupert grint where he was an adult and he had discovered like a magical realm, i remember i thought of harry potter (bc of rupert) and knowing that had never existed there, he had never been ron. There was also a blonde woman (gorgeous long blonde hair kinda looked like tilda swinton) and a little girl that was somehow related to Rupert's character.
I realized that movie didn't exist in this reality and that's when I sort of began panicking and remembered i had Actually shifted there
I decided to check my 5 senses but then I realized I don't know the steps to do it....
like i have to 5 what 4 what 3 what 2 what 1 what
so i just touched the desk where i was sitting, i touched the paper from the boy's notebooks and more stuff i can't remember, i remember wanting to touch the pencils inside the pencilcases but I couldn't be loud + those weren't mine !! and then i breathed in a couple times
and then i opened my eyes here again
now I know that stuff really doesn't work for me it just brings me back to my dr, because im just trying to remember what the tiktok i saw on this reality about the 5 senses method said 😭
ALSO !!
something i didn't mention is that when I walked into the second classroom, i got nervous when i realized it was an all boys class. I don't know what the class was on, i was looking around frantically, the curtains surprised me they were dark and i had never seen dark gray curtains in a classroom (what a stupid culture shock 😭)
when the teacher came in i put my hair on my eyes to FAKE A FRINGE !!! I didn't listen to her at all when she began the class, and then another guy with big blue eyes was mouthing something to me and the boy behind me, the boy i was with said "he's deaf just read his lips"
MF I DON'T KNOW HOW TO READ LIPS ?!?
so now im nervous as fuck about not being able to read his lips and looking like an asshole that doesn't want to talk to deaf people
all while trying not to get kicked out of this class !!
it was A Lot of information to take in 😭 no wonder i shifted back i was being silly af
also THEN i shifted to a reality where my phone had barely charged (it had a decent amount of battery after i shifted, it went from 75% at 5AM when i woke up from my shift to 25% at 7AM)
#shifting#shifting story#shifting story time#story time#shift#shifting community#shiftblr#shifting blog#shifting reality#reality shift#reality shifting#shifters#shifting diary#master manifestor#loa#law of assumption#loa blog
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