#idk what im going to do next tho
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This WIP was going to be a college au but then some miracle occurred when I realized how Fred coded Laios is 😭😭😭
#illumoonated art#illumoonated#laios#laios touden#delicious in dungeon#dungeon meshi#marcille donato#marcille#scooby doo#senshi#chilchuck#izutsumi#idk what im going to do next tho#do i make this into a full blown scooby doo with more scooby style clothes?#or do i make a new image entirely#i cannot decide
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#rgg#ryu ga gotoku#ryu ga gotoku 7#yakuza series#yakuza 7#yakuza like a dragon#masato arakawa#snap sketches#how many outfits can i draw masato and daigo in tune in next week to find out#i just think masato would benefit from a cropped blazer .........#all i do is come on here ramble bout Some Bull and give characters outfits i own#its cause when i WANNA go out and show everyone around me i get CANCELLED ON#im fine. really. anyways#ive made dandy progress with my To Do list today i deserve a treat. and to go outside#but there's a thunderstorm approaching and while i love driving in the rain i fear everywhere's closing in three seconds#probably. idk i live near nothing and im not wandering target for an hour#listen i do live that p4 live where going to the grocery store IS the highlight of my week but not today#it is a drive-in-the-rain-and-scream day i think tho ... thats what the weathers telling me#oh while im rambling i put a cubicle in my room. by accident#i was just rearranging things and i accidentally made a cubicle with my screen but i really like it frankly#its cozy and small... epic ...#ok bye im gonna finish up some stuff
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Working my way through Edge of Midnight and Icebound and oughhhh its so good legends of avantris WHEN I GET YOUUUUU
#legends of avantris#edge of midnight#icebound#loa#eom#itll take me a while but when im mostly through with those idk where ill go next#beneath dark wings?? curse of stradanya maybe???#i was debating on going to prime but its easily the longest#OH maybe ill do root/uprooted…#idk about ouaw but ik its objectively their most popular campaign#so ill eventually continue where i left off#from what i can tell its mostly comedy tho right???#its also relatively long so i might be incorrect whose to say
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another fav:
you can see how annoyed jack is over this request. annoyed seems like a weird word. disappointment, frustration, anger, irritation. exhaustion. i was half expecting him to say, “i’m so tired of having to forgive people.”
i do think it was a bit too wide of a net cast with regards to jack’s anger (joke was just a small part of a bigger issue) but what we can understand, especially by episode 4, is how much people let jack down or simply abandon him. his parents leaving in the most brutal way, his guiding force and only male influence betraying him and fucking with his life, this boy he thought he knew fucking with his head and sacrificing himself for 5y.
none of those are small things. and i love how they handled forgiveness—jack didn’t forgive him. the whole scene is great (minus how clearly hot the coach was and idk why they made him keep that on). jack is frustrated, he’s confused, he’s just surviving. when he says he feels empty…he is. yin rly got that across for me esp when he was just listening to what the coach had to say. the emotion through the coolness shows us how genuine he is but also how..well yea, empty.
the visual cramping in the apartment buildings remind me of him. there’s too much to hold in one space and people could fix it but instead pile in more things. jack will burst. there’s this stagnancy to the place they exist in (the city) like nothing changes, no one gets out, there’s no point in struggling just let the misery we know will come, come. it’s so dry but suffocates. you can feel the heat (not only bc THEY DONT DRESS PROPERLYYYY) and stiffness. idk a lot of affectual-visual cues. a lot of thoughts.
anyway tl dr i liked that
#as usual i forgot what i was saying lmao#and im high#jack and joker#ya idk i like yin a lot :) i connect w his acting style. the more he does the more we will feel him. Hes grown a lot so keep going#i liked vee from lm too even tho i hated that show. Like he wasnt smazing but not terrible but i ended up likingn vee which is insane isnt i#and yet! bc he has a compeling way of playing these ppl. And hes too cute!#stanislavski luvr maybe? hmmm? anyway i like watching him and hopefully his next dramas are good and we can see him grow hus skillswt#the show has got a good way of creating that feeling lmao im like#also thinking brecht but tbqh idk and most of that has to do with a radicsl idea of art but still like#not just visually but everything the atmospher the space the way you can ge tlost in the environment#just a well constructed piece that hss its imperfections but i still see something and feel something with it#WEIRD#ANYWAY LIKE he was just like ??? why???? can someone just not hurt me for once? thatd be great
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compilation of my other fav palette challenges from the years past... i should do them again sometime......
chara #9 belongs to @askbookwormflareon
#granted theres a glaring issue in one of them#i am not pointing it out lest you end up noticing it when you wouldnt normally~#my art#art q#digital painting#oc#mew#pokemon#purrloin#also i put in my request for availability change#apparently they can reject it...#i just cited second job as reason as to why i need mondays off now#my manager is gonna be super pissed tho cuz they always get mad at everyone who changes their availability#but like i mentally cant keep up with the randomised schedule#esp when i could find out the day before my day off that its my only day i can do comms#i dont have enough time to work my schedule for that w chores and having to go buy food or cat food etc etc#it will come into effect start of next month if they accept it#if they dont then ill just keep resubmitting until they write me upfor it lol idk#i was even nice and specifically asked other higher up staff what the best day to ask off was so it didnt hurt them too bad#but i ranted in stream the other day how like im not responsible for if the store gets fucked just cuz i took one day off my schedule yanno#its not my job to keep that from happening#also im part time and if i was full time id still have 2 guaranteed days off so like ??? idk#scared abt getting the cold shoulder and whatnot the next few weeks from the manager tho#also i stayed up till 4am by accident#and got up at 8am anyways#wish my ass luck
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almost came out to my sister today except she was on speakerphone with her husband so that did NOT happen lmao
#nothing against my BIL i just. want to keep it to the people i trust most in my family for now.#of all my immediate family she's the one i trust the most. completely 100%. oldest brother is a close second.#i think i do want to come out to them in the near future. haven't really figured out what i'm gonna say to them though.#hgrhghh.#winter speaks#personal#and i have to figure out what im going to say to the family At Large too..........................SIGH.#i dont even know if i want to come out to the whole family because i know some of them are republicans but i dont know which ones#bc there's a strict ''no talking about politics'' rule at every single gathering for as long as i can remember. lmao.#so i have no idea which family members will grudgingly tolerate me and which ones want me euthanized lmaooooooo#i don't even. really Want to come out to the whole family honestly. but i don't know how much of a long term solution that is.#whatever. im not gonna worry about all that rn bc i have to worry about how im gonna tell my siblings.#and i trust that they wont tell the rest of the family about it until im ready for it but i should probably be prepared just in case they d#because with my wonderful beautiful loving family you can never ever fucking tell :) <3#im very sure about my brother and sister tho.#whatever. its midnight i should not be thinking about stuff like this#but idk i was literally planning on coming out to her today but she just had a baby so she had the phone on speaker while she and#her husband were taking care of him/my older nephew#next time i guess.
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i just rememberd adhd meds exist and now im upset because i could have that if it wasn't for that freakin neurologyst we went to see that told us it was impossible that i could have adhd because i have good grades in school. literally the ONLY question he asked me and immediately said it was impossible. we spent like 5 minutes there. he could've at least... explained something???? anything?????? and now i'd feel bad about asking my parents to see another neurologist because that costs a lot of money :((
#now im just unable to concentrate on anything and feeling very worthless#ok gonna start rambling here a bit#vent? ->#i'm just not good at anything except drawing. everything is hard and i don't think i'm capable of getting a job and contributing to society#in any way except drawing. my self worth is being held almost entirely by my ability to draw.#but i'm also incredibly slow and unproductive and it's so hard sitting down and starting a drawing and finishing that drawing#drawing is the thing that makes me feel alive and feel good about myself so when i can't draw i just feel really awful#i just wish i could concentrate and work and be productive man. why do i have so much stuff going on in my brain. why is everything so hard#sadge 😔😔#ok gonna try to draw i hope something cool comes out or i'm throwing my computer out the window and playing videogames#oh also another neurologist once told me depression can't be caused by school#i'm pretty sure it can but idk im not a doctor#what is up with these neurologists man#i know it's gonna get better tho. life might suck but i *am* a teenager and it's only gonna go up from here.#im still learning about myself and stuff. also no school next year that's gonna be awesome#don't wanna end on a sad note bc life is good actually#and i'm fucking amazing at drawing
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i might've fucked up -.-
#idk what's wrong with me#god im so tired of being stressed all the time and im tired of it#just being fully my fault ugh why do i keep fucking up this entire uni thing#im just so stressed i freeze and i don't do the things i have to do i dont send documentation#i didnt sign up for ANY class yet because i just couldnt get myself to look at them and i think i fucked everything up and its going to#be a whole thing#idk i would just rather stay at home and do nothing but i cant so i gotta go#but i feel sick at the thought ugh#i dont feel any energy to do any assignments of even go to class already and im not even there im still at home#ughhhhhhhhhhhhh#im so tiredd i cant do this#i have to pack and i cant get myself to do it either#vent#sorry sorry sorry#i need to talk about it i cant talk to anyone here cause ill just get yelled at or something my fam doesnt get it it just makes me#feel worse ughhhh#idk if i should even go#i feel like im wasting people's time and money and my own sanity just to underachieve and feel like shit all the time but the one thing#that therapist told me was that i shouldn't drop out because it's gonna solidify my views that im constantly failing at everything so this#has been one of the main reasons im still trying idk maybe itll do something one day#but heyy if i keep at it maybe next month my uni will give me money so i can go to a psych appointment or something#tho tbh the more i think about it the worse i feel about THAT like yeah i feel like shit but i feel like if just was better and stronger an#less lazy i could do it all easily
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btw one of the things i want to do when i really rap up atbb for real is spontaneously get the energy at will to do actual updated fullbodies of the main 4 since now i actually have the ability to draw them the way they look in my head & have the skills to put some more variety in their shapes. basically i wanna
#warning big character design rambling in these tags but like. were u expecting any less#if ur wondering what changed-#first of all everybody has bigger hands bc i'm actively deciding to commit to that decision because i like it :3#next russ is a bit taller . i'll probably change some other things like making his armor look more solid & making him look more frail#-without it but i dont wanna pick up my tablet rn so thats all i feel like editing with my mouse lmao#edge has the biggest changes mostly in just being Wider. i want to make him Look stronger yknow#currently its just one of those annoying “skinny anime girl actually has 2d spraypainted abs and can lift a truck” tropes that i Hate#its a lil too many triangles when he should really be more like a triangle-flavored square. yknow#that being said the weirdly feminine hips were not intentional but only time will tell if they make it into the actual final design or not#i will not be making his pauldrons wider than they were originally. those things are already wacking everything around him they're fine#fluff's change is just being a bit skinnier so he looks more pathetic and sad. probably gonna try to make him look a bit younger too#but age is hard to represent with skeletons from The Land Of Sharp Features#i might also change up his pants/shoes more idk. Baggy Everything makes a very difficult silhouette and the boots are just boring tbhh#they're the bi flag but i dont think a single person has ever noticed lmao#and stretch's biggest change is that he's going to Have A Fullbody Reference That Isn't From 2019#probably make his hoodie longer/looser so i can make the transition to the leggings less awkward & show off his tank under it a bit more#the leggings & sneakers get to stay tho i think. the red wraps the design up well & the chicken legs are funny to me :>#and karma isn't here but he'll probably also get an update to be more square as well. and NOT SKINNYYYYYY#i gotta cram some more emotional repression & inferiority complex hints into his outfit so his post-void look contrasts more its IMPORTANT#AND ALSO NEVER USE UNDERTALE SPRITES AS A REFERENCE FOR ARMOR EVER EVER EVER AGAIN#that being said im really excited to one day finally sit down and draw his post-void design i think i'll have fun with that one#theres a reason my sf bros dont really fit their “roles” in the au yet like undyne & alphys do. hehehe#basically to sum up all these tags: becoming more skilled at art is a curse because you KNOW you can do things better now
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giving up on going to bed proper tonight i am Not getting everything i need to do done in forty minutes [adjusted for time it took to write this post. 30 minutes]
#and it took me so long to fall asleep the last two nights i might as well have just stayed up [shrug]#this isnt even representative of what working is going to be like!!!! i didnt know i was going to be working this week!!! until monday!!!!!#the night before!!!!!!!!! i couldnt prepare anything or pre-do any chores!!!!!!!!!!!#<- the job is really genuinely great so far but my position has so little to do w literally anything else in the building that im#super falling thru the cracks about every single thing me and my single coworker arent a squeaky wheel about lol. im a little#irritated about it but whatever <- i didnt have access to anything i needed half my first day even tho they had the whole month#to get the ball rolling on that 😭😭 i still dont have access to some stuff#i may or may not have to work friday. wont know till tomorrow. idk what im doing next week. im taking verbal 'yeah probably'#permission to not come in this weekend bc i dont want to lol#AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#anyways. [keyed up] [why its been taking me so long to fall asleep]
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Still can’t wrap my head around how Izzy shooting Ed was supposed to symbolize him “breaking up with Blackbeard” and have them go through that whole thing at the beginning of the season, to have Izzy be the one who tells Ed to follow what makes him happy, and have Izzy’s whole arc be about who he is without Blackbeard just for the finale to turn around and say that Izzy had to die because he was half of Blackbeard and that Ed couldn’t fully let go of Blackbeard otherwise.
#by all accounts it doesn't make sense#Izzy stopped caring about Blackbeard when he stopped following Ed’s orders and started going with the crew#when he told Ed he wouldn’t kill him#he had his figurative death when he tried to shoot himself and Blackbeard had his literal death when the crew killed him#when he’s fucking doing his whole speech saying that piracy isn’t about glory or fame it’s about the community it’s about the crew#the fact that they said that they just didn’t know what else to do with Izzy’s arc so dying was the best conclusion is INSANE to me#like im so hung up on this#blackbeard WAS us#YEAH WAS#dont get me started on how izzy used his fk dying breath to take the blame for everything just protecting others til the very end uh#izzy hands#him telling ed that the crew loves him and then he just....leaves#bitch the crew LOVED YOU#the whole “blackbeard was us i needed him” does gut me a little bit tho ngl like oof can yall stop being tragic for 2secs 😔#anywayyyyy sorry if im being rly negative i dont want to be truly im just upset#it’s like I understand what they were going for but when you put it next to everything that’s happened it’s like ….idk#“izzy keeps the story of Blackbeard alive by being alive!!” and ed doesnt ???#hes literally the face of Blackbeard#so he gets to change and grow and become something else and live as that but izzy cant?#you cannot kill a whole by just getting rid of half#izzy was moving past Blackbeard i just what the fuck is UP#“its cause ed is the mc and izzy is just the side character there to be a device for his growth”#ok well then dont have that characters whole motivation be about actualizing himself as his own person for a whole season#ofmd critical#ofmd
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I'm gonna make a new pinned post sometime I think bcs while I like my squid story links I think they can just be like. a thing it links to lol I post art and stuff more than writing
#also the list is kind of long and will b getting longer within the next few months haha#i gotta find/make an image to use for it tho I like having a lil banner there#its going to be margin..... you know it#kind of became more paranoid abt my splatfics lately which is maybe what prompted this but idk#w spl3 its more obviously canon divergent (since the game came out after my currently written stuff) but before that it is but less obvious#liiike there is a reason Octavio is Not In the spl3 fic other than occasional mentions lol (he's not dead)#going to be a big squid and post the others anyway bcs i have like 200k+ words im sure someone in the world would like to read#oh yeah sorry for not posting much recently also i have been doing artfight + comms + a zine lol..... i need to draw more splatoons
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#NOT TO BE NSFT ON MAIN#But I'm going through it... and by it I mean well... the horn knee#but like. lots of Thoughs about- HFH how Valentin is probably the first trans guy for Mitch#not that its rare by 2077 but because I HC him as demisexual#his first time was late-ish compared to his friends - he didnt had a lot of lovers - then there was Scorpion#who was more of a brother than a boyfriend but I DO HC THAT THEY ROLLED IN THE HAY Alright#But back to the thingy-- He's probably not experienced when it comes to Well Tdicks right#Mitch start to develop feelings for Val too the whole vets group start to notice it hardcore#cause these two gonkasses arent exactly subtle - they're just blind#and so one night while the vets are chillin drinkin the usual#subject comes up like eyy hows it going with V you gonna rizz him up or what#Mitch going PFFF idk what yall talkin about but he's red and suddenly don't know what to do with his hands#conversation goes and he's all like awkward cause Well Duh#Boys take showers together so everyone knows Val isnt Cis- there's others trans folks in the camp too its nothing unusual just an info#and get this... what if. its Butch Grease Queen Carol who gives him tips on how to get his boy all rilled up#while drunk ofc - Mitch wishin he could disapear from the discussion cause it's just too much but lowkey taking notes HKGJDKZKG#while some other vet goes on about how good it feels in there tm and all-- YNOW WARM N WET AND ALL#Mitch just nervously laugh and thanks them for the advices tm even if nothing will ever happen and just change the subject#he def jerk off in his tent tho cause he can't keep the vision out mH. hhhHHFHHF 👁👁#and he'd be like damn here I go doin it over a friend again and feels guilty next time he sees Val#(val def does it too in his northern appartment#idk where im going with this don't mind me JHGJ#sex is such an insignificant part of their love - its present and they explore all type of stuff together#but its not something that would ever be source of problem or doubts if that makes any sense#while simultaneously being important - cause Mitch was Val first time - and in a way Val was Mitchs first too#and his boy sure does feel nice /)UwU(\ weeeee#tbd
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ohoho boy tomorrow is gonna be so bad but yanno what I’m gonna be a brave little guy and I’m gonna treat myself to back to back bath days so it’s all gonna be good in the end. Today was so bad today was fucking dreadful but there will be a way !!!!! I have to remember the small joys I have to stay strong
#I hate driving lessons. I’m sick of pretending that I don’t dread them every week. The guy who teaches me can tell and it pisses him off but#I HAVE to learn to drive I just have to and I WANT to be able to drive I just don’t wanna have to do it.#Plus idk what I’m gonna do bc it snowed today and if it’s still snowy out where I drive it’s gonna be cold asf and I’m gonna hate it !!!!#It’ll be fucking SCARY I’m already scared driving normally#And then I have psychology which isn’t even bad but I had a really bad consolidation task and ever since I haven’t been able to delete that#Connotation between the two in my brain.#I’m gonna create plans tho im gonna decide what im wearing for the next three days and a couple fun things that are going into my schedule#So I can look forward without worrying about offsetting the routine which is what ruined today (fuck snow)#I’m gonna try and read more and spend less money!!!!#Now I’m happy because I’ve got a bit of chill time tonight and then Friday’s horrors will fly pass effortlessly I’m sure and then before I#Know it it’ll be Saturday and the worries will be gone especially as now I know work bestie hasn’t like. Died (work bestie was like really#bad sick last week)
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turned 24 today and i Do Not like it much
#past 25 i'll be fine. this next couple years tho? HM#hb to me im ngl to yall i was planning to go to the cinema and i . accidentally. napped#now its too late for the cinema :(((( and im stuck in loserland doing nothin and not feeling like much more either!#i AM annoyed bc i did in fact want to dress up and look hot and go out but. idk where. idk what to do. should i just roam the city#rizcore
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guys have i mentioned yet that im fucking insane over roblox pressure i literally cant stop playing it
#i play it EVERY DAY.#IDK WHATS SO ADDICTING ABT IT#i love it i adore it im so good at it#heh... already won three times.... (i have like 17 deaths)#i stand in the lobby sometimes just observing other peoples death/win ratio and basically.. im better than everyone 🤓👆#i got the lightless badge like two days ago :33 not that thats particularily hard but#i wanna go a the damageless run next#im never gonna be able to do lockerless tho im ngl im not that good LMFAOOO#jesters ramblings
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