#idk what I'm doing background wise

[toiletpudding]

The additional doodles I was originally going to have with the last post, next up is another comic and more drawings of our snake boi 🐍 🤌

[dkettchen]

not me adding literal buddhist monk shaolin masters to my very short list of ppl I’ve ever strongly related to the philosophy/mentality/approach to life of oh boy

[fools-ramblings-and-whatnot]

DISCUSSION (YAP SESSION): LOVE GROWS (WHERE MY ROSEMARY GOES)

Today I will yap on how The Song Love Grows by Edison Lighthouse is Yuu/MC's themesong. Disclaimer: I am a Yuu enthusiast so my views and opinions are biased.

Not serious character analysis, may be inaccurate in some parts.

She ain't got no money Her clothes are kinda funny Her hair is kinda wild and free Oh, but love grows where my Rosemary goes And nobody knows like me

Yuu doesn't have money. They are broke (1st lyric)

Their clothes don't fit them because it's a little bit saggy on them, as commented by others. Look's like the clothes kinda wear them. This means the clothes are kinda funny *GASP*

They don't care much appearance wise. So maybe their HAIR does go wild and free most of the time

Love grows? Yes. FRIENDSHIP. CAMARADERIE. (mayhaps even romance but that's the delusional in me talking) In the First chapter, they made the Adeuce duo WORK together. Crowley was so shocked that the students in NRC could work together he un-expelled them.

And Nobody knows like me- THEY MADE CLOSE FRIENDSHIPS. They've seen the other side of their friends and seniors. This also applies to the main cast to Yuu. Also they KNOW Yuu is a special case. Yuu TAKES A PHOTO OF THEIR BEST (The photos in the Cards)

She talks kinda lazy And people say she's crazy And her life's a mystery Oh, but love grows where my Rosemary goes And nobody knows like me

Yuu is the silent type. However they DO get excitable

Yuu is known to be a trouble maker, and trouble attracts them.

They're also called the "trickters" by Rook. Some cast think they're an odd one. (The staring, the poking(screen interactions), the sometimes looking ditzy, being both sharp and oblivious). They call the 5th strongest wizard Hornton *kinda crazy don't ya think?*

Their life IS A MYSTERY (They're not from this world)

There's something about her hand holding mine It's a feeling that's fine And I just gotta say, hey She's really got a magical spell And it's working so well That I can't get away

THEY'RE TOUCHY (Screen interactions). Handholding can also be a metaphor to "Supporting" or "helping", because Yuu truly cares for others

It's a feeling that's fine: Helped solved overblots.

THEY DO HAVE A SPELL IT'S CALLED THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP (and occasional violence)

IT IS WORKING SO WELL, 6/7 overblots overcome :> *Proud*

I'm a lucky fella And I've just got to tell her That I love her endlessly Because love grows where my Rosemary goes And nobody knows like me

This is the part where I get a bitttt more delusional

ACE AND DEUCE WORRY ABOUT THEIR SAFETYYYY. If that's not love idk what is. Interpret it as you want, I am ok with platonic but personally I think both boys might have a lil crush on the Prefect

Malleus caresssss FOR THEM. Very much

I just think its neat that they get to tag along with the cast and they get a chance to bond and extend their friendship/camaraderie.

Although MC/Yuu is usually in the background, some lines imply that they are held in a certain regard in various ways by others.

I think if we wear our "ship" glasses on, any ship can definitely work (although they romance is doomed by the narrative cuz Yuu needs to go home, so meaning the cast left behind will truly love them ENDLESSLY although in memory.)

There's something about her hand holding mine It's a feeling that's fine And I just gotta say, hey She's really got a magical spell And it's working so well That I can't get away I'm a lucky fella And I've just got to tell her That I love her endlessly Because love grows where my Rosemary goes And nobody knows like me

We don't really know what Yuu/MC does in the bacground of fights, but given that the'yre kinda "beast tamer" or can come up with cunning tricks, they either Command/Instruct others where to fight. They're like a manager of sorts! Hence, holding hand=guiding

Magical spell(makes a change)- I truly believe without MC/Yuu from the beginning the events of Heartlabyul and Riddle NOT overblotting would've caused an awful domino effect. They're like, a catalyst for change, like ofc its not all thanks to them but they were a huge part of it from the beginning. I think given the circumstances in the game, the dormleaders+Jamil would've overblotted even without the existence of Grim and MC, given how they used their powers. It just happens then that MC was at the right place at the right time, and it WORKS.

Their existence in Twst, their isekai adventure, is DESTINY. They were MEANT to meet the Main cast. (obvs, its the main premise of the game, but ya gotta find the magic in this kinda stuff)

It keeps growing every place she's been (oh, but love grows where my Rosemary goes) And nobody knows like me If you've met her, you'll never forget her (love grows where my Rosemary goes) And nobody knows like me Better believe it when you've seen it (love grows where my Rosemary goes) Nobody knows like me

:)))))) Need I say more?

-End yap session.

[xx-j4nu5-c4t5-xx]

look what finally remembered it has a tumblr account 💀 hi everybody

I drew a couple premades with colors based on albums that remind me of them, thought y'all would enjoy

nervous - who really cares (tv girl)

ripp - sports (modern baseball)

I ramble about them under here

janus shut up about tv girl challenge 💀 this isn't even really my favorite band lmfao I just feel like it suits nervous and pascal so well. there's this overwhelming vibe of longing in that whole album, like you had something wonderful and now it's gone and you're scared that that was the peak of your life, and it's all downhill from here. now it's just the memories and the bitterness and the things you left in each other's apartments. OUUGGH IM RGRGH AUGH

drawing-wise I like how nervous's drawing turned out. I have a tendency to absolutely destroy my colors and make them all muddy and blended so being limited to like five colors total and having to use the screen tones and dithering effects and stuff made it feel really... sharp, I guess? I don't like how it interfered with some of the details (like the face) but it was definitely a good way to tie everything together. main gripes with this one are the bandage on his leg (I know the blue is like symbolic or something but why is it so much darker than his skin it looks stupid) and the brick in the background because WHAT HAPPENED 😭 I finished this drawing at like 3am and I really thought I knocked it out of the park with that

ripp's is definitely worse though. the cover for who really cares is incredibly simple, but the one for sports is a whole picture, and I feel like I didn't lean hard enough into the yellows that dominate most of it. the piece looks nice, don't get me wrong; the colors are way richer than I usually would've chosen and it looks awesome, but... it doesn't look anything like the reference. which was kind of the idea. with nervous's, even though it's not incredibly similar to the album cover, you can see where I'm going with it. I don't think anyone would know that ripp's was based on the album cover unless you told them. I set myself up for failure the second I used more red/orange tones than the yellows and creams. whoopsie daisy I guess

I can't really pick out a single song that reminds me of ripp from this album, but I feel like the whole thing gives off "I need to get out of my hometown asap" vibes, as well as the weird awkwardness that comes with figuring out what to do next, which I feel absolutely screams ripp. go struggling small town boy! struggle to navigate early adulthood!

anyway idk I kinda hate both of them just because I've been staring at them for probably six hours combined and I'm about to explode

I might do more of these with other characters but there's not a lot of other premades that I associate with entire albums rather than random songs so idk we'll see

as a parting gift here's a shitty doodles of pascal and nervous as the dogs from twin fantasy by car seat headrest

(the words in the background are random lyrics from the album)

[eggingtontoast]

Hi there! I have not interacted much in the Hatchetfield fandom, but I've talked endlessly about Hatchetfield in the @blinkysrewatchparty discord server. My name is Egg and I have a problem. I'm obsessed with a side character. A side character named Karen Chasity.

Below is most of the contents of what is a five page document about how I interpret her as a character. A lot of it is headcanon, because we simply don't have enough information about her. Again, I have a problem. Enjoy.

My Karen Chasity Problem: How I approach Karen as a character. (SFW EDITION kinda.)

[Disclaimer: Within this document I discuss Karen’s interaction with characters such as Girl Jeri(from now on referred to as Jeri), Detective Shapiro (NPMD), and Doug(Mariah’s cop from TGWDLM). At the time of writing, I’ve written Karen in ships with these three, so there will be mention of each briefly, though it is not the main focus.]

Karen's main theme is first and foremost restraint.

To lesser extent there is also repression and control.

 She is the most uptight/serious of all the Chasity household. (As evidenced in NPMD, she does not make jokes like Mark, nor does she fly off the handle like Grace) 

This is not to say she is completely stone faced, she does have instances where she emotes quite a bit, but (in my opinion) it feels exaggerated for comedic effect (because it's a comedy musical/scene where her dang daughter is breaking apart)

Her conversation with just Mark about her concerns with Grace not acting her usual self says a lot here

She is obviously someone who cares for her loved ones, though she may not bring up those concerns with the person in question. She is caring, in a quiet way. In NPMD there is a time skip between Dirty Girl to Max's death to Grace waking up after Richie's death. We know that Grace has been acting off for at least that amount of time. This gives Karen a time frame to notice that change in behavior.

NPMD is a blip in the rest of their lives, time wise. I’m interested in the Karen Chasity that isn’t worrying over her daughter, the Karen Chasity that isn’t rife with paranoia during a townwide lockdown.

Karen’s secondary theme is devotion.

She is literally religious.

There is an argument for this if we do take into account the dinner scene with the Chasity household and how she nods along with Mark talking about the Holy Ghost, as well as how quick she checks Grace’s temperature. This is all also said by the above section. 

While I choose not to use a character’s… characterization in musical numbers too much, it’s clear that Karen, without her restraint (In Hatchet Town), still cares deeply about her loved ones. Sure, she may be rife with paranoia in that song but she still emphasizes the safety of the children in her part. She still cares, even if in that song it’s far too much.

She gives to others far more than she gets back.

Maybe this entire thing is rendered moot by the above section. This isn’t a formal document, fuck it.

Karen's slight mid-west(?) accent popping out when she talks to Grace

This is more prominent when she tells Grace she's gonna be late to being early for school (emphasis on "oo" noises, elongation and shortening of syllables. Monophthongal [e:] and [o:] present in both minnesota and michigan among other places) 

It’s probably because Hatchetfield is placed in Michigan, but no one else does this in the Hatchetfield universe. It could be another thing played up for comedy? I choose to see this as Karen playing up her maternal role. I could headcanon this as her drawing from her own mother? 

If we go with this, this could reference back to the headcanon/idea of “Karen’s family was a big influence on herself and despite wanting to move away from that connection, Karen is someone very much from her background.”

The accent itself makes her sound different than from the initial Chasity household scene, maybe it’s just nothing idk. 

“...beautiful old house” particularly has her pronouncing the “o” in old and house as more round and wide instead of that tighter “o” later on when she says “school”

Potentially trans-atlantic accent during first Chasity scene in NPMD (the fuck am I saying)

Mark kinda does this too, could be just vocal direction being older film for that more “classic nuclear family” feel

Consistently speaks kind of sing-songy in the show, though I don’t prescribe to that being her natural speaking tone.

(quick aside: you could probably replace Curt and Kim with muppet versions of themselves as the Chasitys and it wouldn’t change anything about the show, it would be funny)

Okay let’s move on from the fucking voice thing

We know very little about the Chasitys aside from Grace, but that’s because she’s appeared the most out of all of them. 

Therefore, I am playing fast and loose with how I characterize Karen.

I write her as a queer woman, who has been closeted for a very long time.

So Karen is restrained. 

An entire theme with the Chasitys is their repression due to religion. It’s not hard to simply write any of them as extremely closeted because of this. 

Therefore, Karen is uptight. 

The stressors of maintaining the image of a heterosexual, pure, Christian woman on a day to day basis would grate on anyone, especially if they are queer. Any singular slip up in a community like a church the Chasitys go to, could mean social death. 

Karen’s humor is subtle.

She doesn’t outwardly make jokes like Mark, or has unhinged, comedic reactions like Grace. If anything, Karen is the straight man in the comedy of the Chasity household. She is the baseline Mark and Grace work off of, stable and secure.

When writing Karen I tend to make her a little more deadpan than canon. She is such an over the top character in NPMD, it’s hard for me to write that in a believable way. I tend to make characters a little more grounded. If a musical is loud and bright, I’m writing them in a stage play, or a movie.

Because of this, I’m taking that one Smokey the Bear line from Abstinence Camp and saying Karen said that in the most deadpan voice that Grace simply did not realize it was a joke.

Karen has body language tells

We see her wringing her hands together as she walks toward Mark in NPMD, expressing her concern for Grace.

Furthermore, she nods quietly and hums when listening to others(Chasity dinner table conversation, Grace bedroom conversation, etc.)

I like to imagine that while she might be “playing a role” as a mother/church woman/pristine Chasity she still exemplifies some of these bodily tells. Just in a more restrained way. She pulls toward her own body instead of gesturing outward. In NPMD she leans and curls in on herself, to present more demure. 

In my own writing, I contrast this with how she acts outside of the context of her church, or with Grace. Because I see her and Mark as mutual beards, as best friends, she is able to drop that facade of a demure housewife and stand straighter(lol) and taller. Her shoulders are not hunched in on themselves, they are pushed back. What we see in NPMD is a role she plays in her day to day, but is not necessarily her authentic self.

Again this is like heavy headcanon and this is also the SFW version of the document sorry guys you have to be at least 18 to get the full context lmao tough shit

Karen is someone who says a lot with her hands(and to an extent, her eyes), Even as someone who may not gesture overtly. She holds them together, points, accents her speech with them. Karen's hands are the way she interacts with the world when she doesn't verbally talk much.

Karen is controlling.

Maybe this feels a little obvious. She is controlling with herself and how she presents herself. She is caught in a web of her own making, and this can extend to who she associates herself with. If this becomes too much it’s horribly unhealthy. It is the fear of her truths coming out that keep her from going too far. 

This manifests with how she approaches Jeri at first, and how she starts making packed lunches for Doug and Shapiro. It’s a sliding scale of when control is acceptable. 

As well as volunteering for church business and around town. Karen is a busy woman because if she is left idle she doesn’t know what else to do. She does not know how to relax.

Karen is afraid.

Her repression and restraint stem from the fear of ostracization. From her church, her community, and her own family. 

While I’m operating on the idea of her and Mark being mutual beards (their marriage being a lavender one) I imagine she is afraid of the way Grace would react if she found out her mother -someone whom Grace obviously looks toward for guidance and help- is queer.

The same goes for her church. She’s presented herself as a heterosexual woman for so long (due to her and Mark’s safety as two queer people coming from conservative families) that she is stuck in that role. She immerses herself in aforementioned church activities and volunteer work to maintain that label, and that level of safety.

[sillystappen]

HELLO

i was wondering if you can do max as a singer and not a driver

i wonder if he can be MARINA and he interested in f1 and goes there to watch the races

HIHI!!!

Singer!Max huh? Ok I see you.

And mother of god did figuring the logistics of this AU hurt my brain :')

Ofc Max would retain his interest in F1 heck I might even make him kart when he was a kid but drop out for angsty lore reasons. Naturally this would make his relationship with his father very strained and almost nonexistent if it weren't for the fact Max still hasn't blocked his number. He spent most of his kid/teenage life with his mum and sister in belgium and thrived in music classes, having a natural sense of rhythm and being able to hear the layers in a song. He still watches F1 on tv and becomes a Daniel fan after Spain 2014 - Daniel's first podium, though he also is team Rosberg when brocedes happens (no reason other than I like Nico Rosberg)

As for his music type honest to god I can see why you would say MARINA as those lyrics can definitely be Max coded but genre wise and looking at her performing idk if that fits the Max vibes bc I wanna keep him from going too OOC. But not in a total stray from the idea of MARINA, I propose... Conan Gray. Still kinda indie vibes (and I love indie) and there's a lot of desiderium songs as well as full on pop bops and hopeless romantic stuff which give people some good emotional rollercoaster concerts. However these songs and albums release date will be manipulated to it my narrative because trying to align a calendar with an interesting plot and those songs just was too much...

For Daniel and any race settings, I am thinking of using the 2021 season. Which I'm sure you all are thinking: Silly, what would be the 2021 season without Max in it? Wouldn't it just go to Lewis without a fight? And I thought long and hard about it, looking through the grid and reserves to see who if anyone should take the seat that Max originally had and... it's Daniel. You heard it here first folks this baby is a Daniel never left Red Bull fic too. Using this Mr V's Garage's video, I borrowed the simulated 2021 season between Norris and Sainz and made it Lewis and Daniel (who will ofc win) with 3rd place going to Checo (because i like checo) and 4th Bottas. As for Abu Dhabi... there's no way it won't be controversial come on.

I imagine a meeting between Daniel and Max would be him getting paddock passes after saving up and ends up being recognised by Daniel at the Belgian Grand Prix. At this point he has he has had Kid Krow out for nearly 2 years after saving a crap load of money from royalties and a birthday gift from his sister he finally had enough money for a paddock pass over a grandstand ticket (but holy fuck those things are expensive). He meets Daniel who is like "holy shit you're Max Verstappen! Wearing my DR3 hat?" and Max feels like holy shit is very much correct because Daniel knows who he is?!?! Queue both of them having a fanboy moment and Daniel admitting he cried when he heard heather for the first time. But Daniel has to be pulled away so he gives Max his number and invites him to the garage (much to christian's chagrin but hey, number one golden driver championship contender privileges). Max totally nerds and Daniel thinks its cute and the mechanics are surprised by Max's knowledge.

They go on "friend-dates" to get to know each other properly and surprisingly (to them not to us) they click really well. Daniel invites him to GPs and Max invites Daniel to music video sets (they sneak Daniel into an MV and if you look close enough you can see him in the background) and a lot of trips to the recording studio. The internet being the internet picks up on this and are like AIN'T NO WAY OMG WORLDS COLLIDING all dramatic like that. There's even TikTok edits and a small tumblr community (hi) about them.

Then one day Max goes on an interview and is asked about Daniel. "He's probably the best person in my life right now, outside of work and family. Gosh, I've been a fan since 2014, and my sister will tell you I yelled pretty loudly when he won in Canada that year. But the Daniel you guys see in media is only half the story. He's kind and considerate and generous and a really comfortable person to be around and I am glad I bumped into him in Spa. He's been my rock as I work on my newest album."

Hashtag maxiel starts popping off a lot more mainstream and Daniel calls Max after the interview to tell him how sweet and lovely he is and as he gushes Daniel has the 'oh I love him' moment, like actually in love and not just a how a fan would. He doesn't say it, of course, but the penny has dropped.

For Max, the 'oh I love him' would be when they're back in Daniel's hotel room post race (that Daniel won ofc) and they're sat on a sofa in front of a quiet TV playing some sort of movie when Daniel falls asleep on Max's shoulder. Max looks down at him and just knows 'i love him' then and there. It's a quiet realisation, and one he is content with.

As for how they get together, it's one of the times Daniel is in Max's recording studio listening as Max sings, completely entrapped. When Max finishes and sits down next to him, he asks what Daniel thinks Daniel doesn't hesitate to say he thinks Max is amazing and that the song will be a hit, but suggests a few tweaks to the instrumental. Max takes this seriously and appreciates the honesty, kissing Daniel's cheek as thanks. It was the way Max looked at him and gently held his face that has Daniel sitting there for a moment before going fuck it and properly kissing Max.

They don't announce their relationship until Daniel after wins his second championship in 2022 but spend the rest of 2021 and the entirety of 2022 soft launching it and teasing. Daniel posts photos of Max hugging him in Abu Dhabi 2021 and lots of photos of them hanging out in winter and summer break. The F1 media catches Max in the paddock and Red Bull garage a lot and Daniel at the Superache tour in late 2022 (what about the tour? what tour? the early 2022 world tour? yh that didnt happen I'm just adding a couple songs from there into the superache setlist). Max also posts a video of Daniel lipsyncing to Overdrive whilst holding a deodorant can and standing on a bed.

The actual announcement spooks the F1 world more than the music one and at first it's a lot for them, the questions and the prying, the demand to know it all and of course the homophobia but they get through it all fine and dandy.

Oh and Jimmy and Sassy? They give Daniel the seal of approval the moment he shows up offering pets. And that was the only outside opinion that ever mattered.

{I may flesh this into a full on fic, but I also might not but I liked your idea anyway and wanted to put the concept I created into the world! I hope you like it.}

[ravel-puzzlewell]

Hi! Do you mind elaborating on what you meant by "tiefling politics" on that wotr vs bg3 post? Just curious, ignore if you want

its about the fact that bg3 has a lot of tiefling characters, somehow more than wotr, and huge theme of like hells and connections to demons\devils and somehow manages to say absolutely nothing interesting about it.

in wotr we have examination of tieflings fitting into human society, ostracization and (literal) demonization of them, where even if some of them would want to help in war against hell, they are scared (frex, group of tieflings thieves you save which you can ask to help u and they are like are u kidding me, crusaders will torch us). woljif in particular is a deconstruction of selfish chaotic neutral tielfling rogue archetype, his story both exploring how both he was pushed into being a criminal bc he had no other options, but also interplay with how he then himself tends to dismiss his own agency in being able to decide for himself and choose better, forever excusing himself with "well this is a crappy hand dealt to me", his survivalist attitude of everyone for themselves vs desire for community, how when given a smidge of stability and access to decision making in council, he tries to awkwardly, but eagerly advocate for societal improvement for all tieflings, and this is one of his most sincere moments - and gets laughed at immediately, etc etc. and speaking of community, v interesting intersection between "good" and "bad" marginalized groups of mongrels vs tieflings, with Lann being self-righteous about both his moral superiority and how mongrels "have it worse", while ignoring that mongrels - and he himself specifically - are mistreated literally bc they are mistaken for tieflings.

btw if anyone wants me to talk more about mongrels vs tieflings thing, hit me up, i think there was a interesting stuff, even if not properly dramatized

meanwhile in bg3 being tiefling largely means nothing? like the refugees would sometimes like drop a line out loud about how tieflings should stick together bc humans won't help them, but like that's it. the refugees could literally be humans running from war or blue cat ppl from avatar running from capitalism and nothing in the plot or characters would need to be changed. tieflings is just cosmetics for them, like idk its cool to have colorful NPCs with fire eyes and sexy horns. And even companions wise, you know I love Karlach and tried to romance her, but being tiefling is just looks for her, its not meaningful. It doesn't matter for her backstory, she could have been a strong human from poor background who was sold out to idk, underdark. like it sucked bc she was forced to do violence and everyne was an asshole and she couldn't see sun, but otherwise it being Blood War specifically doesn't come into play. and like. Blood War has famously huge effects on ppl with hell heritage! I'm not saying she should have been Valen Shadowbreath with entire plotline about struggling with blood war calling, but like. idk, something?

my point is that tieflings and hell has a lot of lore and like, FLAVOUR in this setting, which were not explored at all. these are just ppl with horns and generic Bad Place.

and then like. devil essentialism. bg3 has central motive of how evil races are not ontologically evil, but like, devils are. sdfghjk. apparentely mind flayers can fight actual mind control if they are V Special, but all devils/demons are evil with no exceptions. karlach was in hell for 10 years and never met a single sympathetic devil. the closest one he had mocks IS Evil when we meet her in game. and I actually liked Raphael (transition could've saved her), but there is nothing particularily interesting about him, he's also straighforwardly evil. this severely limits how interesting interactions with hell are. in wotr there is a wide range from reformed succubus to most evil sadists, with every shade in between, which allows for complex stories, like that that fucked up love between that betrayer dwarf and demoness who seduced him. she's legit evil, but she also has actual twisted affection for him, and he knows she uses him, but he was pushed too far by humans and chooses her anyway. this background story is honestly has more depth than wyll's and mizora relationship, where shes just evil and he's straighforwardly martyr. when mizora offered to have fun wink wink, i immediately knew she's gonna Evil It. and she did. and she didn't even get anything out of it! it was just staining your soul to be evil:3 like ok, but boring tbh.

and like yeah war with hell is central plot of wotr, obviously it has a lot more to say and explore about it, but like. bg3 didn't HAVE to have to include so many tieflings and have us follow their stories through all acts. it didn't have to include hell in "no race essentialism" game if it didn't want to talk about it. it chose to, and when game has big chuncks of content about smth connected by a theme, i expect it to say smth about it? anything interesting? eh.

btw, this is not to say i think wotr's writing is perfect, far from it, i can talk for ages of my problems with that game's writing, but this initial phrase was from shitposts specifically comparng things in wotr to bg3, so

[bilbao-song]

ulterior motives: an unnecessarily elaborate guide & review

okay literally no one asked for this but here is my full synopsis of the ulterior motives album. i wish more secret time capsule-ish albums from past decades would be released so i can start doing this type of thing more often

🐬 disclaimer: i think only like two? three? people who follow me are (currently.....) interested in this as far as i'm aware. therefore it's going to be sooooo self indulgent and tbh partially just for my own satisfaction <3 but hopefully someone will find it useful/enjoyable/etc.!! also it's super long but like...idk it's a Review. also if ur interested but otherwise have no clue what this is about, i'm putting some useful links at the veeeery bottom :-)

🐠 relevant introductory notes: im not rlly a lostwave person actually. like as a concept i think it's very cool, but this is litcherally the only one i've come across that appeals to me thus far. i was somehow exposed to it like a year ago and went bananas bc i enjoy funky little 80s songs and i desperately wanted that song in particular. i think some people have kind of dismissed this as like, a ~tiktok thing~ and well <3 i don't care. tiktok didnt exist in the 80s but this music sure did. anyway i would urge you to ignore that entirely at this point and just enjoy the funky 80s bops no matter how they got here (actually that's like part of why i'm even making this post. consider this like...a guide. forget tiktok exists and learn to love this album full of 80s music w me)

🐬 preliminary assessment of vibes: half cute 80s synthpop and half things that make me want to pretend to be really elegant on a cruise ship somewhere between like 1987-1992, a period of time in which i was not alive but enjoy pretending i have some kind of experience with anyway. sometimes it kind of feels like music that someone would put over an old video of people walking around a mall, which is probably really appealing to a lot of people tbh. that seems to be a well-liked vibe recently. *not* an album to listen to if ur looking for something deep/poetically meaningful/super serious, 10000000% an album to listen to if u want something catchy/fun/zesty/poppy/very 80s!! it is very muchly unpretentious music for a good time

also may i just say that throughout this album there are like, random elements that remind me of like 68769376386896 different other artists who are varying degrees of wildly unrelated to this album. i mean like, there are brief moments that give me michael jackson vibes (tangentially related!), and every once in awhile something reminds me of frankie valli (??????????). that's only the tip of the iceberg tbh but if i made an exhaustive list i feel like it would just look like me listing off every third thing i have ever heard of. also a lot of people have made comparisons to wham! and i can definitely see why, soooo if that’s your type of thing!! ur in luck

anyway:

🐠 a track by track analysis & review:

to preface this: if ur skeptical...the sweet spot for me is like, tracks 8-11, and if you like those, try 4 as well. i like the album start to finish tbh, but if you just want a little sampling for now, i suggest starting with those. beyond that, upon putting this together i have noticed that you can kind of break this album into categories vibe-wise. tracks 1-4 seem like they wanted to be long lost singles, 5-7 = Vibing Music. smooth and pleasant sounds to have on in the background. not the sort of thing you’d probably sing along to but the vibes are immaculate. a calm moment before things get zesty again, 8-11 = back to back hits. cream of the crop. exquisite cuisine. all pretty upbeat and poppy and i genuinely cannot imagine not enjoying this at least a little. 12-13 = very nice closing tracks to put a neat bow on it <3

pink titles = my top recommendations (i'm trying to be selective here)

here is the full album on youtube and here it is on spotify. individual youtube links next to each song title :-)

#1 - chemistry - [x] - excellent choice as a first track bc the quality is very Crisp and it kind of encompasses both the whole 80s synthpop vibe and the smooth, kind of classy thing that a lot of these songs have going on. this one is very popular among those of us who have been eagerly waiting for this album to be released and it’s super nice to have a full version available now!! we had like a minute long sample of it there for awhile and i kept listening to a three minute looped version on youtube bc i was desperate. anyway!! there’s a LOT going on here. it flows well, is super catchy, and i really like it. would probably be fun to dance to if ur into that sort of thing

#2 - your guy - [x] - smooth and snazzy!! makes u want to light some candles. spoken portions in songs are always kind of funny to me for some reason but i can lean into the overall vibe and embrace it. very cute. one of my favorite things about it are the moments where the backing vocals are like, drastically deeper than the lead vocals (around 1:42ish). love that

#3 - ulterior motives - [x] - this one needs no introduction i guess lmao. tbh i feel like i still kind of need more time to absorb this version as compared to the old version — being entirely honest, if i pay very close attention, i CAN pinpoint a few little odd things going on with it quality-wise. idk what that's about (definitely doesn’t seem to be a skill issue lmao these guys know their shit) but it also doesn't ruin it for me or anything. i feel like a major part of the issue is just down to being sooo used to hearing one particular version. any difference good or bad is going to stand out. whatever, it’s still a delicious song (and there are pleeeeeenty of different cleaned up versions ripped from the movie to be found on youtube if anyone is just fully unsatisfied w this one)

#4 - man needs love - [x] - THIS is one of the best ones hands down. once again we are monologuing in the middle of a song but imo it works pretty well here. it feels veeeery of the era and i definitely feel like this could've been tremendously popular if not for the whole Never Got Released thing. it is super fun and catchy. if u came for the wham! comparisons this should be ur starting point

#5 - so in love - [x] - the beginning to this one is soooooooooo exquisite to me. my overall take on this one is that it's kind of...well. Vibing Music. like i would never choose or recommend this for karaoke night but it is excellent for having on in the background while you do basically anything else. smooth and snazzy yet again. definitely creates some kind of vibe. also i really like a lot of the vocals on this one

#6 - you turn me on - [x] - when i first saw the title i did not expect to enjoy this one quite so much, BUT it's actually pretty great.......visceral subject matter notwithstanding (that's just rlly not my thing usually but i think i'm the odd one out here so disregard this lmao). very chill vibes; kind of in a similar category to the previous track re: Vibing Music status. lots of interesting sounds and things, very very VERY of the era. importantly, it contains that instrument that i can only ever think of as "lizard noise thing" (apparently that's a vibraslap), and that appeals to me immensely.

#7 - rock me to sleep - [x] - more Vibing Music. initially i wasn’t sure how to feel about the whole whispering thing but i’ve concluded that they pull it off well. it reminds me of something but i really can’t place what it is — some kind of particularly funky and vibey 80s background music type of thing. late 80s/early 90s fashion show music!! for sure

#8 - think i'm gonna cry - [x] - back to the more upbeat vibes. another one of my favorites!! possibly THE favorite for me. seems a little underrated among fans thus far imo so allow me to champion it here. kind of similar vibe-wise to man needs love, so if u liked that one then you'll probably feel positively about this one too. definitely another one that should appeal to anyone for whom the wham! comparison sparks interest. i honestly think this is like...one of the best tracks. if i didn't know any better you could have easily convinced me that this was popular in its era bc the overall quality is there and it reeeeaaaaally has a poppy vibe that feels almost universally appealing. it feels like a fun song for summer. also pretty short in length, so v approachable to anyone feeling impatient <3

#9 - potion of emotion - [x] - another one that i thought i wouldn't be a huge fan of when i saw the title lmao but i was wrong!! i love the deeper vocals here and just ?? well. basically everything about it. not to bust out a technical term but i do just absolutely love the synthiness. there's something kind of satisfying about the lyrics...i mean they're not like, deep elaborate poetry lmao it just sounds neat from like, an auditory perspective. anyway, it’s smooth yet fun. i want to be hearing this on a cruise ship

#10 - one last look - [x] - deliciousss. i feel like this one is almost a sssslightly different flavor of 80s vibe but i have no idea how describe it. maybe ummm idk more pop-rock than just straight pop. feels pretty summer-y. very 80s classic rock-sounding guitar parts (delicious). if i had heard this on the radio at some point i would've wholly accepted it as just like. idk a normal popular 80s song i just never happened upon before (this applies to a Lot of these tbh)

#11 - nothing lasts forever - [x] - another solid favorite for me!!! suuuuuper catchy, has been stuck in my head for like three days!!!!!! i love it!!!!! fun horns!!!!!! idk what else to say but it's fun, upbeat, and ummmmmm. one of the best songs here imo

#12 - language of love - [x] - actually probably my least favorite, but it's still fine. from what i've seen it seems pretty popular though so who knows!! i feel like putting it second to last was a good idea because it does kind of seem like…idk, calming down after four very zesty ones in a row.

#13 - lie school - [x] - if u feel dissatisfied with the new ulterior motives, this is like...the next best thing. very similar vibes both in terms of theme and sound, but not in like, a repetitive way. i actually rlly like that it's the last track bc it kind of feels like sort of a callback to ulterior motives, and i looooooove when albums do that kind of thing. anyway i definitely feel that it’s a little……hmmm. idk the whole school thing is just such a highly specific theme and they really stick with it. but i like it >:-)

🐬 closing thoughts:

i just really really like it tbh. i hope i have converted at least a few people not only bc it's a worthy cause but also bc i spent literal hours spread across two days writing this. shoutout to christopher and philip booth, thank you for this whole entire album and also for inexplicably moving to my town in the midwestern usa despite being from the uk. idk why you did that but i think it's very cool and learning that information after a year of hoping somebody would find ulterior motives made me feel like i was living in some kind of weird dream. also. vinyl release when?? <3

additional links:

rolling stone article that pretty thoroughly explains what this is about

my tag where i've been putting relevant posts thus far

album on youtube

album on spotify

[kozachenko]

A Retrospective Analysis on Touhou 17

So it's finally here, and even though I know for a fact that I am not going to be able to get the Keiki drawing done by this time (I'm having trouble with the eyes, for some reason it's always that aspect of drawing her that's difficult for me, I can never really capture the essence of her character no matter what I do) I still wanted to post something about this game today since it's the game's 5 year anniversary. I have a lot of thoughts on it, and my views on the game have changed quite a lot throughout my time being a Touhou fan. This is going to be very long so I'll put the rest under the keep reading tag.

So for some background, Touhou 17 was the first Touhou game I ever played, I got into the series during 2021 shortly after my Hunter X Hunter phase ended (since the manga was still on hiatus at the time) and I remember playing 17 during that time as well. I'm pretty sure that the reason I played it was because of that one nitirushh animation where Keiki disses the animal spirits so hard that they die (still my favourite fan-depection of Keiki tbh, it's just really funny to me) and that set my interest in the game itself. It was also the newest Touhou game at the time and none of the other games interested me as much. Then I actually played the game and at the time I found it insanely fun. I remember feeling so excited playing the stage 1 of the game and thinking to myself "Holy shit I'm actually playing a Touhou game" and having a lot of fun with it. Even though the game itself is the easiest out of all the Touhou games, it was still a challenge for me at the time since I had never played a bullet Hell before. For this reason, the game as a whole struck a chord with me. Funny Touhou animation aside, I don't know if it was because I had only recently gotten out of my Hunter X Hunter phase after finishing the whole 2011 version of the anime and had caught up with the manga during 2020, but maybe some aspect of 17 kinda scratched a similar itch in my brain and it really stuck with me IDK.

As for what I think of the game itself now.... gameplay wise, it could be better, it's still fun but there was so much potential for the game to tell it's story through the medium it chose to present itself in. Why did we not have more similarities between Eika and Keiki's danmaku styles to show their connection? Why did we not have a moment similar to what happened in TD during the final boss fight where Mayumi comes back in to take over during the fight in a last ditch effort to protect Keiki? It's the final boss so go all out! The animal spirits could also be balanced a lot better as well, especially with Youmu becoming incredibly overpowered with the wolf spirit, and visibility is a bit of a problem in this game. Some of the tracks could use a bit more polish too, I commend ZUN for being experimental with his newer tracks but the stage 3 theme and staff roll theme are both kinda eh, and while the boss themes have a lot of good punch to them and can be really good, it still feels like some extra spice could've been added to really make them stand out (which is why I love the theme remixes Saki and Yachie got in Touhou 19). I also wish the Animal Realm got explained better within the lore of the series, mainly because it raises a lot of questions about how Hell was founded and it kinda needlessly complicates things. I would've rather it be introduced as it's own region of Hell rather than being a separate thing entirely that just so happens to be located next to it. I also wish that we got more stuff with this setting that explains how it connects to the rest of the worldbuilding a lot more, I definitely feel like actually having it explained more in the mangas would definitely help to make it feel less convuluted, but unfortunately the closest we're getting are cameos in Lotus Eaters and very brief mentions of the games themselves. I still like the game though, as I've mentioned I do love a lot of the music and I love all the characters we got introduced to in this game. I've been appreciating Eika a lot more recently, I do like Urumi but she's neat and I like her design a lot, Kutaka is a fucking shithead who kept FUCKING UP MY 1CCS IN BOTH 17 AND 17.5 THE FUCKING BITCH- who is very funny and I love seeing more insight into Hell's management. Yachie's great and I find her relationships to the other characters in this game very interesting, Mayumi is awesome and the more I think about her the more I like her, and I love how Saki contrasts Yachie in her strategies. That being she has no strategy and just goes "fuck it, we ball" with no hesitation lmao.

I'm pretty sure you all noticed the absence of one character in particular, that being Keiki. I've made it no secret on this blog that Keiki is my favourite Touhou character, and a lot of that is because of her role as an antagonist in Touhou 17. I always found it really fascinating how ZUN created her as an allegory for AI (I don't know if Apollo just randomly blessed him with the gift of prophecy because MAN does that statement hit harder now more than ever) and the fact that she's portrayed as a very morally grey character in the game itself and Reimu's reaction to her, stating that she can see an "evil aura" in Keiki. I've already talked a lot about Keiki on this blog and I don't know what there is that I haven't said, but I wanted to start off with her because it ties into a big part of why I still find this game's story interesting. That main aspect being it's parallels to Gensokyo and Touhou's overarching them of humanity's relationship with nature.

So to step back from 17 for a second, I feel like we should look at what the Youkai represent in the story. Youkai in Touhou are created from humanity's fear, and back before science was able to properly explain anything, this fear very often manifested into a fear of nature. Natural disasters would end up wiping out villages, dangerous animals would often lurk in forests and end up killing anyone who would go in them. Overall nature isn't very kind to humanity, and humanity knows this. This is why humanity would often try and find reasons as to why these things would happen. This brings us back to the Youkai in Touhou who are the embodiment of the unexplainable. In manga like Forbidden Scrollery and Lotus Eaters, we often see how the humans in the human village are at the mercy of these Youkai, the only reason that they aren't being slaughtered is entirely for their own benefit so they don't run out of resources. The only hope the humans in the village really have is to turn to the gods, another product of man's desire to explain the unexplainable, to potentially save them. The survival of the people in the human village will always be in the hands of beings beyond their comprehension. No matter what, humanity will always be at the mercy of nature.

Coming back to Touhou 17, we can see that the relationship between the human and beast spirits isn't exactly.... pleasant. The beast spirits all see the human spirits as slaves essentially and they gain strength from their torment. The only way that the human spirits are even able to stand a chance against them is to submit themselves to a god and pray for their protection. And even then there's no way in Hell that they're getting out of this situation since the god they're praying to views them the same way as the animal spirits (whether they are aware of it or not).

So if you haven't noticed by my word choice, there are quite a lot of similarities here with the dynamics of the Animal realm and Gensokyo. That's not even mentioning the fact that in both places we have at least 3 different parties fighting over control of the humans, whether it be animal spirits or Youkai. Hell, this race for power in Gensokyo is a plot point in Lotus Eaters and Forbidden Scrollery, so it's not like this is a new concept for the series to explore either.

There's also something to be said about how Keiki and the technology she brings with her are seen as a threat to the order of the animal realm. Throughout human history, humanity's creativity and ingenuity have always been major factors in our survival as a species. We created tools to use the nature around us and make it work to our advantage, we created weapons to more efficiently hunt and find food to survive, and we created art and literature to document our histories and make sense of the world. Going back to 17, Keiki is the epitome of humanity's evolution and creativity and she is the one who responded to the human's cries for salvation. Another thing to think about is that in Gensokyo, the best the villagers are going to get in terms of technology are old computers that are very limited in their use, and even then barely anyone will have any idea how to use them. The reason that Gensokyo even exists in the first place is to preserve the Youkai and Gods that would become forgotten by humanity's technological advancement. In both of these places, technological advancement is seen as a threat to the natural order and must be suppressed at all costs.

Of course in Gensokyo it isn't as extreme as the animal realm. The Kappa, the Tengu, and even gods like Kanako are all quite technologically advanced and/or are introducing new technologies to Gensokyo (those are just the ones I could list off the top of my head, but please tell me if there are more that I forgot). But here's the interesting thing, notice how none of the examples I listed there were humans. The only way for the humans of Gensokyo to have these technologies introduced to them is if the powers that be, nature, let them have those technologies. Going back to the animal realm, even after Keiki is defeated we can see that the beast spirits are still using the technologies she (most likely) introduced, i.e. that one chapter in Lotus Eaters where one of the otter spirits introduced what is essentially a GameBoy to the Kappa and Nitori saying stuff like, "oh yeah the animal realm is actually pretty technologically advanced nowadays" as well as that one story in CoLA where Ran and Yachie deal with the AI Sumireko made. Once again, the only times when the use of technology goes unprotested in this series are when it's kept out of the hands of humans and back into the hands of nature. Even when humans are able to fight back and create their own technology, nature will always win in the end, no matter how hard humanity tries to defeat it. The way Touhou 17 ends is indicative of this, with Keiki being defeated and the Animal Realm returning to it's status quo.

However, Gensokyo has never had this kind of issue before.... or so it may seem. Yes there's never been any technological uprising by the human villagers and with the way things are there most likely never will be, but when you take away the potential for technological advancement from humans then the next best thing would be magic. And when humans in Gensokyo use magic to find a way to gain power and be more than just fodder for the Youkai, they end up being punished. This is most prevalent in Forbidden Scrollery when Reimu kills the fortune teller. I don't think I need to go too in depth about this moment since I already did so in my Forbidden Scrollery review but this once again shows a parallel between Gensokyo and the Animal Realm.

So what am I trying to say with all of this? I've been bringing up a lot of the similarities that these two places have but similarities can just be chalked up to coincidences that don't mean anything. What I've been trying to say with this whole thing is that the Animal Realm represents an extreme version of Gensokyo, one where every ugly aspect of it is dialed up to 11 and the law of the strong eating the weak rules all. It's a Gensokyo without a spell card system to level the playing field. I do want to say that I don't believe Gensokyo is a grimdark setting, sure some parts about it are bleaker than others, but there are also many good aspects of Gensokyo that I feel like I should bring up. It's a safe-haven for the forgotten, and if we continue viewing the Youkai and Gods from the lens of both of them being allegories for nature, Gensokyo is a place where nature can fluorish outside of humanity's hands. Unlike the Animal Realm, Gensokyo was never established with the intentions of harming people. Nature is both beautiful and terrifying, and where Gensokyo displays the beautiful sides of nature, the Animal Realm displays all the ugly sides of it. Even then, there is some overlap between the two, Gensokyo does have a nastier side to it and the Animal Realm is a place where nature can exist unrestrained by humanity (even if the place is still a shitshow overall). Now that I think about it, this sort of duality between the two realms is kinda fitting for Touhou, and I can't stress enough that when I say that Gensokyo and the Animal Realm have some parallels I am not trying to say Gensokyo is a grimdark dystopia. Hell even going back into the Lotus Eaters manga, the otter spirit that escaped from the Animal Realm even said that Gensokyo was a better place to live.

So yeah, I don't really have any good way to end this aside from saying happy 5 year anniversary Touhou 17. You are a flawed game but god do I still love you. Oh yeah, and if there's anything I missed or any mistakes I made, please correct me/let me know.

[sorrinslays]

OKOK SO IDK IF YOU'VE DONE ANY POST LIKE THIS BUT

What do you think a 5 star Sampo would be like? Both in lore/personality, and in design or even kit! Hell, maybe how he is introduced as his 5 star version would be cool to think of too. I want more opinions on this, and the idea of his 5 star version makes me more and more excited

Hello anon!!! So, I have talked about it a bit while reblogging @feroluce's post about 5* Sampo ideas but I don't mind elaborating on my thoughts a bit more.

In that post, the idea of Sampo having a 'stage hand' inspired abilities/design was presented and I fell in love with it, so a lot of my thoughts are inspired by it.

First and foremost, I think he would have the fire element as a five star. I've seen a lot of people wanting him to be Quantum, but honestly it doesn't speak to me. Maybe it's because I'm not a fan of the Quantum element in general, I don't know.

I think fire suits him for a variety of reasons, but most importantly, it creates contrast. I'd like to start by mentioning that fire is eye catching, going against his theme of the stage hand, a background entity. Can you imagine? Aha creating Sampo to be eye catching, giving him powers that are meant to be viewed, admired. Sampo being created to be the center of attention, yet he goes against all that. Preferring to stay in the shadows and watch everything unfold from a distance.

I like to think that his design is dark, full of cool colours and drenched in black, showing that he himself wants to blend in with the background and his element being the exact opposite. Him going against his 'nature' you could say. Against his purpose.

If we want to look a bit deeper we can go two ways. Firstly, fire represents enlightenment, self-awareness, rebirth, and rebellion which (if we follow my headcannon of Sampo being a Creation of Elation turned Emanator) would suit him a lot. Enlightenment when he understood the real meaning behind Elation. Self-awareness showing that he understands what he is, what he wants to achieve and how. Rebirth as in leaving the Masked Fools and their flawed view of Elation. Rebellion because he goes against his Aeon, his creator.

Furthermore, it's be nice to see how a character like Sampo would respond to having Aha as a "parent"/creator. The struggle of sharing an ideology yet trying to distance himself from his creator. His appearance being the complete opposite of his powers would be a cool way to show how he resists Aha's view of Elation.

As for his playable path... I want to keep him Nihility. The path of IX is very similar to the Elation at it's core. Both believe that the universe has no meaning, THEY just respond to it differently. Where IX does nothing because there's no point in doing anything, Aha acts in a way that would entertain only THEMSELVES.

Alternatively, it'd be nice if Hoyo made the Elation a playable path only for Sampo's 5* design. It'd be mad funny but also on theme with how meme-y hsr really is.

Now, for his clothing. Like mentioned previously cool tones and dark clothing is the way to go. But, to elaborate more on that I think there's specific parts of his original 4* design that I would like to keep, like his jacket that looks like a ring leader's jacket, just in a different colour and with other accessories/details.

The snake symbolism should stay as well, I think. It's be nice that instead of snake bones it would be leather and shit, to show that it's "alive", that he's back to being an active Emanator.

I also really like the idea of him having two sets on hands that at his fingertips end in different colours that was proposed by the original post I linked earlier. The first set fading to white and the second to black showing how one set is pulling the strings in the background while the other is the one everyone sees.

I think his mask should rest on top of his head like Sparkle's, a plain red thing contrasting with his blue hair and dark clothing, another contrast to Aha.

Personality-wise I think he would be pretty much the same, expect less greedy and money-driven. I don't know, I feel like that's a part of Sampo Koski's personality, not his, if that makes sense.

If you want a bit more on how 5* could work in my mind in the story I recommend you read my post on Gepard's role in the story, although it's mostly about Gepard I managed to sneak in a few thoughts on Emanator Sampo because of course I did

[blighted-lights]

because of course im gonna ask: first aid? —cmofirstaid

(Based off of this post! TFP Soundwave, IDW Sunstreaker, IDW First Aid, IDW Ravage, and IDW Cosmos have all been asked for! Feel free to send in an ask for any character that isn't one of these five 🌸❗️Not limited to followers or mutuals, so go wild!)

First Impression: Oh shit, First Aid! I read MTMTE before I read most of IDW, and I was fucking stoked to see him appear in the Delphi arc- ESPECIALLY with how he was introduced with his report that doubled as the issue's intro narration. Aside from that, though, I didn't focus on him much during my first read-through. Pharma and Ambulon immediately stole the show away from him, and it wasn't until my second read a few months later that I really focused on Aid. Aside from being happy to see him, I LOVED how he was drawn in MTMTE. He's always been cute, but something with how he was drawn in the first half of MTMTE really cemented for me that he has one of the best designs. He somehow manages to be boxy and round at the same time and I love him for it.

Impression Now: You are ENTIERLY responsible for how much First Aid means to me now, I hope you know this. One of my top ten IDW faves. His design remains one of my favorites, and I wish we got more canon content digging into his POV of things pre-mutiny. I wish he stayed on the Lost Light instead of being called away, too! There is so much focus on Ratchet passing over the title of CMO to First Aid, but then Aid leaves so quickly after. Idk, I wish we just got to see him more pre-mutiny. Aid is such a tragic character to me but he's another background tragedy and it makes me want to shake my screen a bit when I think about him. A somewhat vaguely odd thing to say, but I wish we got to see more of First Aid's grief over Ambulon and his feelings towards Pharma. Honestly I wished we got to see more interactions between Aid and the rest of the medical cast in general- including Ratchet, Velocity (ESPECIALLY Lotty (is not biased)), and Rung.

Favorite Moment: Speaking of Pharma, my favorite moment of First Aid is this one right here:

I think Aid should be shown like this more often. I NEED him to be angry. I need him to be murderous. As a treat for myself. I hate the idea in media where the good guys refuse to kill a villain because they'd be "letting the villain win". It's good to see that narrative challenged by Aid here.

... Even if the consequences aren't easily forgotten.

Idea for a Story: Someone put First Aid and Rung into a therapy appointment, I need to pick their interactions apart under a microscope. I do not thing going to Rung would be able to help Aid. In fact, it might just make an already shitty situation worse. But I want to see First Aid sit down and talk about what he is experiencing. And maybe I want to see Rung unintentionally making his grieving process more difficult. We already know from Rung's own admission in Lost Light that he does not know who he is without his patients. He banks his entire identity and self-worth on trying to assist other people. But what happens when nothing he does seems to help First Aid, and therefore his own self-image begins to crumble for it? How does his own perceived failings affect his treatment of First Aid?

Unpopular Opinion: 🤔 Not sure if I have one. I'm allergic to the idea of Aid being really nice and nervous 100% of the time, ig. All things considered, the First Aid we have in IDW isn't nervous at all. But I don't actually know how prevalent this is in fandom or if this is even an unpopular take 🤷‍♂️.

Favorite Relationship: Canon-wise? It's a toss up between him and Ambulon and then him and Ratchet. It is devastating how hard Aid takes Ambulon's death, and his desperation to help save Ambulon when Ratchet wouldn't let him was heartbreaking to read. At the same time, I NEED more of First Aid and Ratchet arguing with each other and Aid calling Ratchet out on his bullshit. It is rare that anyone steps up to Ratchet like that and succeeds in affecting him. I would like more, thanks.

Non-canon relationships? Another toss-up between Velocity and Ravage. Put these three in a blunt rotation, I'm sure they'll be fine.

Favorite Headcanon: First Aid is extremely tactile. There is not a word or phrase that could properly describe how touchy First Aid is. He has the capability to turn someone who is touch-starved to touched-out in the span of thirty minutes. While this is in part due to just him being an affectionate person in general (or at the very least, more physically affectionate than most other Autobots), it is also partially because of his intense focus on Autobot brands. He is so used to checking everyone he comes across for their brands in the case that they might have a bullet shot through them that the process of checking someone over is compulsive. This extends to people who fall outside of the Autobot ranks who do not even have brands, like Ravage, Cyclonus, and Ten. It's earned him more than a few strange looks and awkward silences over the course of being on the Lost Light.

[t-hornapple]

ORNAMENT ILLUSTRATION COMMISSIONS - OPEN

the basics:

- black and white linework - traditional ink done on recycled, toothy 24lb paper - usually 7”x9” or 9”x7” - base price starts at $300. Payment is half down, half on delivery - you get the original, jpegs/pngs and one or two prints of it

I am very interested in and comfortable drawing:

- nudity - trans and queer bodies - historical interiors & exteriors - western weapons and armor (from the early middle ages on) - richly patterned fabrics (but richly patterned all sorts of things) - religious motifs - bdsm scenes & fetish wear (leather, pup & pony play, bondage, etc) - occult and esoterica - soulsborne stuff

I do not draw:

- underage or bestiality - furry art (yes, ik there's a small overlap w this in some fetish wear, but I do not draw fursonas) - anything sci-fi, futuristic. mechs, androids, machines, that sort of thing. idk how! - fan art of anything live action, or living people

More detailed info:

‘Ornament Illustrations’ is what I call these highly-patterned black and white linework pieces. Base price for these pieces starts at $300 and goes up for extra complexity. There are no hard-and-fast rules to what is included subject matter wise in that $300. Most subjects (unless it's an orgy of 100 people and you want it drawn to 18" x 24") is gonna fit in a $300 price tag.

(This more simply put: I don't do the type of commissions based on number of characters & complexity of background.)

These are entirely traditionally drawn, and usually put together here and there digitally if I'm layering in patterns, or have a lot of black fill to do. I do not do digital linework or color.

I am not super inclined to draw a lot of fan art, mainly due to unfamiliarity with the subject. I'm open to discussing it however! Some prompts for a commission I might reject for reasons not shown here.

Payment is required half up front, half upon completion. Completion time varies, as this depends on how quickly you get back to me with reviewing sketches. It's usually about 2-4 weeks. I do have shit hands these days, though, and can't ink as much at once as I used to be able to. So my work goes a bit slower now.

For your money, you get:

- the original inked piece - one or two high quality prints of the finished piece - digital files of the work

Please note that I tend to layer in patterns and background shading digitally sometimes, which means they will not show up on the original inking. That's why I provide a print.

I do enjoy being able to provide prints in my shop of commissioned pieces, but let the client choose whether or not they want prints made available to the public.

How to commission:

Email me at thornapplepress(a)gmail.com with your idea. It can be fully fleshed out—Hades as a leather daddy & Cerberus as a non-binary sub in 3-headed pup play—or more vague—something sapphic, intimate and lush.

I do my best to get back to commission requests in 2-3 days, but please do note that I don’t do email on the weekends to help preserve my attempt at work/life balance and my sanity.

[psychedelic-ink]

𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐲 𝐈𝐧 𝐁𝐞𝐝 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐄𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐒𝐨𝐨𝐧

It's been a while hasn't it? Two weeks I think? Thank you for being so patient with me everyone 🧡 I'm still contemplating where I want to take the story ending-wise (might make a poll about it or maybe I'll just mull it over idk yet) but I'm just grateful for all the love you guys have shown this series. I don't want to spoil anything but things heat up this chapter 🤭

here's a little unedited sneak peek under the cut, enjoy!

chapter summary: Your brother comes for a visit and of course, he wants to meet the Millers. Things with Joel come to a boiling point, threatening to pour over.

word count: 343

stay in bed masterlist

Joel doesn’t want to bother anyone, so he slips into the hall. 

Maybe he should’ve asked you first, before going exploring. He can’t really help it. Joel finds himself in the renovated room. It’s basically done, the room fully painted and bookshelves back in place. You even have a couple of easels holding your latest artwork. He stumbles inside, the conversations fading into the background. 

It’s hard not to feel upset. He’s not quite sure what he’s doing wrong. At the time, not allowing you to say what you had swirling in your head felt like the right thing to do. Joel doesn’t know if he could've held back if you confessed. Even though he was rather close to confessing himself, that was before Tommy took the initiative. 

He observes the first painting. His initial thought is that it looks nice. There are a lot of colors in geometric shapes. He sees a lot of red and pink. Some blue. Some white. His eyes move up and down, and as it does, he slowly begins to realize the smaller shapes form a bigger one. It’s human. A naked one. He follows the vee of the adonis belt, the softened stomach. Suddenly it’s very clear to him that this is a man. Joel takes a step back. The face hadn’t been painted yet. No eyes, no nose, no mouth. A somber smile touches his lips. Sometimes he wishes he didn’t have any of those. Maybe he won’t fuck up so bad if he doesn’t. 

Joel’s about to leave when he sees it. The smallest stain on the front of the person’s hip. Tilting his head, he steps closer. His skin tight over his muscles, his breath hitches. 

It’s a bullseye. The tiniest, you blink you miss it, bullseye.

He leans closer, it’s definitely a bullseye. Smaller than his tattoo, but it’s the same shape, in the same spot. 

[kalopses-sonderes]

Alrighttttttt sagau x hamilton brainrots/crack now (first time writing about sagau and genshin in general so sorry for ooc) only adult characters. This is also pre-Fontaine update

Again, they never heard of a Hamiltion so they think you fully created this play what a smart creator

Zhongli as Hamilton or Washington, leaning more towards being Washington. Like, he is just wise and what not and his voice might work more towards Washington.

Traveler as hamilton also makes sense, THE TWIN BEING AARON BURR????

ITTO AS HERCULES MULLIGANNNNNNN, thats it. Like bro, he’d be perfect for it and I stand fully by it. Theres no other person to do it better

Al Haitham as Lafyette since he knows more than one language

Thoma as James Madison and Childe as Thomas Jefferson?? Childe as the king also makes sense, he’d completely rock that little cape and crown.

Ningguang as Jean, Jean as Angelica, and Yan Fei as Peggy. I'm willing to change my mind on this but idk who else to put

Kaeya as Lawrance, prove me wrong. Diluc would be a background character at most, probably not. Might help you direct tho

Kaveh as that guy who also sings in farmer refuted, I dont think he has a name-

Brainrot over

[writerfae]

Cries over Rook and Cryptan (whose name my phone is desperately trying to turn into crystal). Their friendship kinda reminds me of Adél and Bendegúz, not because of any parallels, but it's this very strong, deep friendship.

...if I think about it, they remind me of the villain Adél au, where Bendegúz doesn't go with her to look for Ákos (and this becomes his biggest regret), and to put it simply Adél makes a deal with the Black swamp: Ákos remains unharmed, and Adél will carry on the Black swamp's purpose after Odette desrtoys it.

Adél and Bendegúz end up on opposite sides when it's the last thing they want.

It would be interesting how your characters from the present would get along with pre madness Rook (if you discount the fact that Aiden's job is to stop him from coming back). Just personality wise.

Also, I forgot to ask last time: can Callan fight?

Also, also:

Continuing the your traumatized boy takes care of mine Aiden babysitting Ákos saga:

I had this idea (that is actually canon) that i see as half cute half sad, which is this:

No matter how cute and precious Ákos is, despite still being a child he still managed to survive a month in a very hostile environment because 1: he's very smart, 2: he took some advice from each of his older siblings that helped him. He took care of himself... but he didn't like doing it. He stayed strong, sharp, and determined, but in the background, there was this little "I don't know what to do" (among other things, but this is what's relevant rn). And he couldn't do it forever. One time, he just stopped (and i can't say more cause spoilers).

And one of his feelings that I love writing about actually is that after Adél and Bendegúz find him and there's finally someone to take care of him. It's this repeated feeling of "It's okay, it's okay", but it's still a little suprising each time.

Finally getting to the point:

Ákos knows he can take care of himself, but on "bad days" he doesn't like it. Fortunately, he also knows that he has people he can rely on. So on some "bad days" (he has different types of bad days) he just follows people around like a little duckling (or on very bad days just Adél or Bendegúz), and yeah, he sometimes does this anyway, the difference is that on these days he kinda wants people to show him/ tell him what to do. To guide him a little.

And I think this would look so cute actually when Aiden's looking after him.

Like, idk exactly why (maybe because he was also left alone as a child), but I can totally see Aiden being like: child needs me to steer the ship for a bit so I will! with no hesitation.

Rook and Cyprian are everything to me at the moment <3

The villain Adél AU sounds cool! Dare I say it does remind me of Rook a bit. Either way, it's interesting!

Original Rook would get along quite well with everyone. Like insaid, hes really older brother-coded, not just with his issues. He's older than all of them and often busy though, so they probably wouldn't really spend much time together.

Callan can fight, but chooses not to. He's a person that sees fighting as a last option. He got weapon and fight training, though, so he can defend himself if necessary.

Poor Akós, that sounds like his survival instincts took over. But it's understandable, especially for someone so young, to just be taken care of.

Aiden knows how to look after himself, has been since he was a child. For him, it's almost normal, he had to unlearn that first. Had to learn to accept help. But he likes to give help, so as soon as he recognizes Ákos problem, I'm sure he'll try to help

[an-abyss-of-stars]

Fic Updates!!

(Yes, I'm back with these 😂)

Update notes for:

It's Visceral And It's Cruel

Burnt Over And Over Again

He Saw Her At Daybreak

Struck By Fire Drowned By The Sea

*Burnt Over And Over Again* (Modern Au)

So I am currently working on this MAJOR sex scene for the upcoming chapter (chapter 5). BUT I'm actually in the process of reworking it. The initial draft was like 80% finished 🤣💀

I'M SORRY, I was actually so close to being ready to edit and then post. But the further I went with that version, it just wasn't giving what it was meant to give. And to share my thoughts/struggles with this plot point/scene without spoiling the entire scene. If y'all remember, chapter 4 has Rhaena and Aemond bickering like an old married couple in a nightclub in Prague. And as their drama progresses, Aemond finds a way to get Rhaena alone so they can have a private tense conversation. Their sexual tension builds up to a point where they HAVE to do something about it.

Semantics I guess, but there's a ✨mood✨ I'm trying to convey and it's SOO hard to convey it genuinely, idk why 🤣 Like Rhaena is in denial, but she's CLEARLY still very attracted to him. And he's down so BADDD for her, but he's also really frustrated and annoyed with the current state of their relationship. Like the sex isn't going to be all that frantic, because of the way I've slowly built the tension. But at the same time, Aemond's frustration still needs to be present? At least I want it to be? Like I want him to coax her into this, because deep down she definitely wants it, she's just in denial.

Am I making any sense? I don't really know 🤣 I just don't want it to sound like coercion, and that feels like such a fine line with this scene for some reason 😩 like he's definitely not forcing her to do anything, but he is leading this whole thing. The key for me, is making it really feel like she's down for this and welcoming it all physically even if she's still trying to keep him at arm's length emotionally... UGHH it's a fine line fr.

My goal is to update this fic before I move onto any others. So fingers crossed for meeee 😭

(I'm also working out some more background lore for this modern au universe, like what everyone in the family does career wise, I'm working out who has pets and whatnot, expanding the lore of Rhaena's former relationship with Dalton since I initially made it rather vague...SOOOO get ready for this whole story to expand as it goes. Because I kinda want this story to be a bit more than short fic now 😂)

—

*It's Visceral And It's Cruel* (reg medieval time period)

Nowww this is my bread and butterrrr 🤣 I have about 13k of next chapter (chapter 9) written and ready for editing. BUT I still have about 5 scenes to go, or at least those were scenes I originally planned to include in this chapter.

I'm starting to think adding in all of those scenes will make this chapter TOO long if I include them all here 💀 like I added in two extra scenes to make the narrative flow in a more interconnected manner. But in doing that, it's definitely going to make this chapter too long. And the final scene I initially had for this chapter was going to be the Royal Hunt shenanigans. And THAT is a scene/plot point that needs a lot of time/words dedicated to it. Especially since it's going to be written from Aemond's POV, and that boy is going to be going THROUGH it watching Rhaena purposely flirt with literally every other man there EXCEPT for him 🤣🤣

So I think I'm going to move the hunt over to chapter 10 (even though I promised it would be here 😭😭). Because logically...like I must 😂 I can't let this chapter be 40k in length, I'd take DAYSSS to edit it if I did🤣💀

—

*He Saw Her At Daybreak* (horny married Rhaemond Fic)

UMMMM I actually have no clue when I plan to work on the next chapter LMAO 😂 There are a few things I need to map out plot wise. Like slight spoilers:

But here are the scenes I'm planning on including in chapter 10:

• Actually showing Aemond flying over to Driftmark and interacting with Grandma Rhaenys (for the Spice Towk salt that Rhaena craves).

•Aemond and Aegon actually discussing their mother returning to court for the birth of the baby.

•I want to slip in a sex for Rhaemond, since ya know, this IS the horny fic 🤣and this is my last chance to include the lactation kink before the baby gets here, so I must do it 😂 I'm also thinking that scene could definitely start with pregnant Rhaena being a little self conscious about her body before a family event. Like I haven't had much of that insecurity mentioned for her.

•The family event being the Valyrian equivalent Yule/Christmas holiday event, that's going to be like a nice wholesome gift giving scene. Targ family shenanigans.

•ALL culminating with Rhaena's water breaking and the baby finally coming. Like this baby is COMING in this chapter, most definitely 😂😂 we are ending the chapter with Rhaemond happily holding their newborn baby.

So there's a lot to write, and I'm still only on the first scene 💀💀 but hey, now the 10 of you so still tune in, have an idea of what's to come! 😂😂

—

*Struck by Fire, Drowned By The Sea* (Pirate Fic)

LORD, I PROMISE I HAVEN'T FORGOT ABOUT THIS ONEEEE. AGHHH oddly enough, like this writing process feels like the sex scene in BO&OA, I can't seem to land on the vibe™ for the next chapter (chapter 5). And it's not even a sex scene, so Idk why I'm overthinking it all 🤣🤣

It's weird, really. I usually have a really easy time writing from Aemond's POV for my other fics, but since Pirate Captain Aemond is more of a mystery to both Rhaena and the audience. It for some reason feels a lot harder 💀🤣 like it shouldn't be, but it is 🤣🤣 I've rewritten/restarted this chapter at least 6 times trying various ways to tell the same scene, seeing how much I should give away in his inner thoughts or not. And I just haven't landed on a good ratio for him, like we all know this IS Aemond. But there's still so much of his past that hasn't been revealed, and it's all still a mysterious element for captive Rhaena, she's still trying to figure him out... especially since they've never really met until now.

Their relationship is going to be SOMETHING wild, if I can get past this damn chapter 🤣🤣

—

This just feels like me explaining in depth, four various types of writer's block 🤣🤣

Anywaysss, if any of y'all have any suggestions or helpful ideas, for any of these fics, I'm very open to them 💖