#idk the list could go on but my brain isn’t working

[missusmercury]

born to be his controversially young girlfriend forced to read fan fiction about him

[max--phillips]

I’m gonna make my own post about this because it’s been rolling around in my brain since yesterday. I put it in the tags of a post I didn’t want to talk over, but I wanna put it in front of more faces.

There’s a saying that has a few different versions, but the gist is the same: If there’s a Nazi at the table and 9 other people are sitting there talking to him without a care in the world, knowing full well he’s a Nazi, there are 10 Nazis at that table.

The case is the same with racism as white people. (Or really any other bigotry, but we’re talking about racism right now). If you are white in a fandom or some other online community with racists and just let them be racist without saying anything, without calling them in or calling them out, without reflecting on your own biases and examining if your behavior might be encouraging this behavior, you are also (a) racist. If you’re the kind of person who goes “oh no that’s awful!” and performs anti-racism for 45 minutes after some event and then immediately forgets about it, you’re racist and part of the problem.

Anti-racism isn’t something you do one time and check it off your moral-good-to-do list. Anti-racism is continuous, it’s growth, it’s uncomfortable, and it’s changing constantly, like with many other movements for equality and justice. Not only that, but as white people, no matter how anti-racist we are or try to be, we will always benefit from systemic racism in all its forms. You can’t just say “racism bad :(” and pat yourself on the back and go on your merry way. There will always be work to do.

And right now, from my perspective (which is very white so tell me if I’m off base here), the work we need to do in this fandom is evaluating our own behavior and that of our friends and the people we follow. If you’re friends with or follow someone who you know isn’t with the program, unfollow them or talk to them about it or something. Don’t just keep letting it happen. We can’t just let ourselves be complicit.

Obviously there’s nuance here, and we’re not going for perfection. We’re going for improvement, and making people feel welcome in the community they’ve found themselves in. It shouldn’t be hard, and yet this is probably the dozenth time I’ve seen some version of this conversation happen in this fandom in the last 5 years.

(I should note—this is also the second time we’ve had this kind of conversation this year, and it’s March. What could have possibly occurred recently that caused this? Who did white women overwhelmingly vote for in 2024? The world may never know 😒)

Idk man. Be part of the solution. Not asking for much, I think.

[zackbyychocolate]

Over the last week I’ve been plotting a couple ideas for what they have “cooking” and so here’s my list:

- they are putting out a new book or touring

This immediately popped into my brain when they said they were going to be doing something….buuuuttt…I don’t think this is a realistic time line though for either. Like a tour or a book takes TIME and I don’t think they planned that far ahead—they just started the gaming channel not that long ago. It took a little bit to get dan even on board too. Also, their script that was seen in their messages to each other looked pretty short to be some sort of part of a book or tour?? Idk

- some sort of YouTube special or streaming service thing?

Again idk if the timing of this is right. This would take some time to put together and idk if they would want to do something like that after hometown whatever the hell the name of it was. Didn’t they say they didn’t like doing this or something? Maybe im getting my lore mixed up

- PODCAST

This is a DEFINITE possibility. I saw this suggested the other day by @starredhowell …I think they’re on to something. Podcast is not too much time to produce, fans asked for it and would watch it, etc... They could have different guests on there too. Think Brittney broski’s royal court type vibes—I think they could definitely put this into action

- something for pride??

They said to look out next month tho which is July so I’m not sure. I do think it’s sus tho that dan didn’t say anything for the 5 year anniversary for BAG……..

- HOUSE TOUR WITH ARCHITECTURAL DIGEST

I cant stop thinking about this and need to put it out here. Think of like the vibes of Tan France’s open door video or David and Lily Harbour’s house tour. This would be SO cool to see them explain why their house is the way it is in a professional way. I could literally just see them being like yeah this is the master bedroom look how cool it is, this is the architect we worked with blah blah blah. It would be dope and I will be SAT watching it. But at the same time do they need a script for something like this??? I don’t think they would hype up a video like this the way they have been

- rebrand? New channel?

I’ve given it some thought and I don’t think they would create a whole other channel when they have DAPG already. Like I get splitting it up into actual games and then phan content but I feel like we don’t need to do that. There isn’t enough of a demand / complaints about how they “don’t game” on the gaming channel to rebrand. Everyone who is subscribed loves anything they put out. Would be cool tho and I see it being a possibility that they rename it to something else instead of games to reflect what they’ve been doing. But I think how they’ve been hyping up whatever they’ve been “cooking” it just wouldn’t be something small like renaming the gaming channel

Overall, it sounds like they have been putting some hard work into what they are cooking so it can’t be something simple. I’m so excited to see what they do

Let me know what you think!

[nburkhardt]

Of Insomnia and Nightmares.

Idk what this is tbh. We’ll go with hurt/comfort mostly with absolutely no real plot 🫣

“You’re not in bed. I came looking for you.”

His head hits the back of the cabinet with a loud ‘thunk’, wincing he brings his hand up to rub it before looking over at Steve, standing there still with bed-head and his boxers on.

It’s not technically his first time waking up at this ridiculous time of three in the morning. Also not the first time Steve looks for him. It’s an unfortunate side effect from nearly dying; insomnia and nightmares.

They both have it, luckily or well maybe, unluckily.

Steve tends to treat his insomnia by doing house work or he bakes. When he wakes from the nightmares he doesn’t even attempt at leaving the bed; he shifts in bed and holds him tight. Which always wakes Eddie up, but he doesn’t mind.

Because his thing is louder usually, actually. Right now he’s in the kitchen putting dishes away, which isn’t his thing whatsoever.

“Sorry, sunshine. I couldn’t sleep. Nightmares and insomnia, ya know?”

Steve nods and walks further into the kitchen, before stopping next to him. “And you decided to do, my thing?”

He snorts and looks down at the plate in his hand, shrugs and puts it in the cabinet before closing it. “Just needed a moment, needed my hands to be busy.”

Steve wraps his arms around his waist, resting his head on Eddie’s shoulder. Leaning back into his boyfriend, “I usually wake up to the sound of you playing, what’s different?”

“Just, needed to be busy, I guess” he shrugs before turning around to wrap his own arms around Steve, “Let’s go lay down?”

Steve looks at him. Concern is written all over his face and Eddie can see him trying to figure it out, “Bats?”

Sometimes he wants to dive into Steve’s brain and figure out just how he can read him and know. It’s a little frightening to know that he’s easy to read.

He sighs and rests his head against him, closing his eyes he squeezes his eyes shut. “Yeah, they hit before I could even start playing”

Steve let’s out a displeased sigh and squeezes him close. Doesn’t say anything because it’s not necessary, they’ve both told each other the words of comfort already. They’ve been together long enough to know when it’s not necessary.

All he needs right now is to be wrapped up in Steve’s arms.

They’re settled in bed, Eddie nearly on top of Steve. They’re quiet, but not asleep. Neither is actually sleepy at this point now; it’s still too late to really do anything else but lay in bed.

“You know, I was saving those dishes for when I woke up.”

Eddie could’ve sworn Steve was at least falling asleep, he moved his head slightly to look at his boyfriend and finds him with his eyes closed and a small smile, “yeah? You planned that?”

There’s a tiny hum of confirmation, makes him snort before laying his head back down and closing his own eyes. “Sorry, you just looked so comfortable and cute drooling on your pillow that i physically couldn’t wake you up with music”

He feels Steve tighten his arms around him, “I don’t drool”

A smile pulls on his lips, this is nice. This is everything, actually. Didn’t know he could have this.

“Of course not, sweetheart” he mumbles and sinks into the Steve’s warmth more, closing his eyes, “I love you”

The arms tighten again and he feels Steve’s lips press against his head, “I love you more”

~~

Before I ramble more, i’m ending it there. This wasn’t supposed to take me this long but my brain has been lacking on creativity lately :(

Anyway, here’s my permanent tag list under read more! (If you want to be added let me know!!)

@spectrum-spectre @itsfreakingbats @mysticcrownshipper @artiststarme @thereindeerlady @justforthedead89 @ronniescontinuum @freyaforestafay @littlewildflowerkitten @estrellami-1 @gregre369 @zerokrox-blog @bookworm0690 @flustratedcas @carlprocastinator1000 @marvelmwah @solliesolesito

Also tagging @momotonescreaming & @steddierthings because they asked for this during wip weekends and doing that helped me finish it 🥰🥰

[jupiterpiss]

SIGHHHHH

Roman Roy brain rot has me in a chokehold. SOMEONE HELP. I did a brief read through. This probably has a thousand grammar errors and stuff. this isn’t my best work. Sorry bout that. This is short. Might make this into something else.. idk. We’ll see. Sort of x reader.. but no use of “you” or anything. It’s a fem!reader btw!!

On one hand, Roman could name a few things he genuinely took an interest in. He couldn’t name them now, as his mind is always juggling fifty different thoughts, and he’s certain that if he were to try and focus on one he would have an aneurysm.

Though if he thinks hard enough the list goes something along the lines of “petty drama” as third or “the latest headlines about either him or his father” as second.

If he thinks harder, somewhere in there his father’s approval sits as fifth. Something he wishes was further down.

Then somewhere else, squeezed between his desperation to know what his father thought of him and what others thought of him, was her. As first. Or fourth. Right in the thick of it.

He thinks of it as a piece of popcorn lodged in the gaps of his teeth, something his tongue pokes and wiggles but can never slip out. He could use his fingers or a toothpick, metaphors for the obvious solution of just letting her go and moving on with his life, but he was never a fan of picking the easy way out.

“Aren’t you just gluttonous for punishment?” He scoffs at Kendall’s words now, pushing away the fact he was correct. Of course, he was. It was a fucking obvious thing.

It was exactly why he never strayed away from her.

Being hated wasn’t new for Roman, if anything, it was the ‘normal’. Being ‘nice’ didn’t get anyone far, at least that was the idea rammed into his head since childhood. It was why he never looked for anyone sickly sweet, never fell for someone who didn’t have some bite to their bark.

It was why he never bothered to tug loose the leash that was strung snug around his neck, tied neatly by the very woman he should’ve despised years ago.

He couldn’t though. Hate her, that was. He couldn’t. Physically, mentally, emotionally something inside him tug deep into his bones and ripped out any anger he could feel.

Whether it was possession or his inability to accept the fact he deserved better, something held him back. He didn’t really know, and in all honesty he didn’t really fucking care.

“You’re a sick pervert sometimes, you know that?” She tilts her head at him, brows furrowed as her eyes flicker between his. Seeking from something he isn't aware of, but is certain she’ll find.

She always did.

He smirks, “Maybe,” He shrugs, “Reason for everything,” her gaze only makes him nervous, forcing him to cast his gaze somewhere else.

“Right. Your pervy nature is just a part of something bigger,” she presses.

And just like wet clay under moist hands, he gives in, “something closer to a lawsuit than a ‘higher being’ nature sort of deal. Right? That’s what you always joke about?” She stays silent, he only continues, “fuck- Jesus, staring at me like my creepy pervert uncle-“

“Just trying to give you the ‘Roman Roy experience’ you always gift me,” she argues which only makes him sputter, “oh fuck off.”

“Can’t, you’ll only follow,” and god damn it, isn’t it just funny? Because he would follow, he would follow in a god damn heartbeat. Probably like a sad kicked puppy too. Fuck.

“Don’t you have some businessmen to jerk off? Someone to give the old ‘slip and slide’ too.”

He hopes for some sort of response, some small jab and maybe some banter that would fill the void of a conversation they never have.

But he doesn’t get that, he only gets the continued ‘creepy uncle stare’ as she peers into his wandering eyes. She’s still searching. It’s only when brow twitches and a pout forms on her lips that he realises she found what she was looking for.

“Right, something you’d only wish for,” She backs away from him, “Should really stop speaking your imagination out loud. People might get the wrong idea. Might think you actually want to fuck me,” she pauses, “But I highly doubt your rat dick can handle anything past your hand.”

She walks away, leaving him standing like an idiot.

Later that night he looks at engagement rings.

[squid-socks]

My “WHY???👀👀👀” list. If you are non-disabled or non-neurodivergent please read✨

(These are things that suck imo - the bare minimum is to be aware something isn’t fucking working and seeing it. Bcs the more you know the more you realise why you don’t see many disabled or neurodivergent people - spoiler; THEY CANT GO ANYWHERE)

constant building works. From fucking with your accessible journey to overstimulating the brain✨ I hate to imagine how much more id get done in a day if the constant drilling of building works literally everywhere didn’t take half my spoons to tune out.

Noise pollution in general. In a cafe people don’t use their inside voices, establishments don’t set up quieter areas or infrastructure that absorbs sound, main roads are always close to residential areas and buildings are not built to tune out their horrible noise. Sound✨

Heavily scented areas or perfumes. You are killing your fellow asthmatic and anyone with a tendency to have migraines👀👀 (you don’t need 10 lit candles in a non-personal area. And you don’t need to drink strong perfumes so it seeps out of all of your pores🫶)

Escalators being far from elevators and requiring staff assistance at all times. It’s just stupid. It is. It is just SO FUCKING STUPID AND I SHOULD NOT HAVE TO EXPLAIN WHY??? JUST PUT THE ELEVATOR BY THE ESCALATORS AND SHUT UP✨✨

Not having public bathrooms or putting them in weird places or making them by request only??? I shouldn’t have to run to the 4th floor of a far away mall bcs I have to vomit whilst my knees feel on fire??? And the more bathrooms the less gross each bathroom will be bcs LESS TRAFFIC???👀👀👀 like what????

Bit more random - but recluse spaces. There should be spaces people can hide away and recover from the noise and the bustle and the questions. I shouldn’t have to have a cigarette to be respected needing to leave and get some air👀 I shouldn’t have to smell shit and hear people farting to get away from everyone for a minute (bathrooms)👀

Those stupid tiny handled coffee cups👀👀 no. Just no. It could be the biggest cup but it still has that stupid little handle?? No. My hands hurt. Old people’s hands hurt. WHO IS THIS GOOD FOR. WHY DONT YOU HAVE ALTERNATIVES😂 (just a few mugs for people to request)

No brail anywhere. This is the dumbest of the dumb. Even more when I find brail it’s like 2 letters?? Granted - I don’t know brail but I imagine if I need like 100 words of information on my sandwich then 2 letters is not enough for them!??? What????👀👀 if you’re blind I hope you don’t have allergies or something?😀😀 (though I suppose not text to sprach exists which is wonderful✨)

The underground trains. I’m not explaining I think every single variation of a disabled or neurodivergent person can offer a litany of complaints and issues.

The sun. This one’s a me thing. But I hate that glowing satanic butthole in the sky😑 (good for plants tho…which is nice.)

Now this one may sound a bit much but - wheelchair paths. Or walking issue paths. We have the bike lane, the pedestrian area and on the most inner side to the wall or bushes (for safety reasons) a disability path. So wheelchairs or the slower can just do their thing no problem✨ we anyway should have less cars so…I mean…we could just replace the roads🌈 idk add those rope, electric carriage things I see in Germany all the time🫶

Why are the pedestrian paths in parking houses so skinny?? Anyone bigger than me is half out the fucking safety zone👀👀👀😀

Heavy doors. No bcs what the fuck. I don’t want to have to press my whole body against an icky door to open it. And now imagine I’m on my own in a wheelchair just fucking trapped👀 or I’m too germaphobic to touch the door or everything hurts 😑😑

Lamps where the switch is in the cable and not the lamp. Fuck that.

Sunscreen. I love her but the overstimulation is bullshit😭😭 I think I’d rather wear a balaclava

If I have to squeeze through an isle in a store - it’s too close together. Fuck you. 😀 and before someone tells me “it’s cultural” or “it’s a small store”. no it’s just inaccessible. Culture should not be an excuse for ableism👀 My grandma is German is it ok if she is out here hating foreigners. FUCK NO.👀👀👀

Information boards being so low down. Why? No one can see that. Some of them have brail but why should someone have to bend over all the way to touch it😑

Imma stop I’m getting too angry 😅😅

I realise this is on a disability blog with disability hashtags so no idea how helpful this will genuinely be. But for now it was nice to vent. Which may help no one but it helped me a little😀

[where-are-the-spooky-gays-2]

hey, I heard you liked assassin AUs? this ask turned out long as eff, whoops.

tw: mentions of death, murder, gore, dismemberment, mutilation, poison, and probably more. General assassin stuff. (not described, just mentioned)(murder, death, and poison are mentioned throughout, but the rest is just in the first paragraph)

so: 

Everyone has heard of the Duke, he’s a terror. He kills for anyone who pays him, and he does it gruesomely. If you want hearts ripped out of chests, people ground into sausage meat, one body part sent to each of the corpse’s loved ones, you go to the Duke. I heard he lives in the forest near… I know someone who knows someone… he’s easy to find, just go north. The Duke is the kind of story older kids tell to their younger siblings. He’ll find you, he’ll rip you in half… Other, less well-known assassins have said that he won’t last long. They’ve seen killers with his style before, they get careless. They get caught. It hasn’t happened yet though, so who knows? One of those assassins is found impaled the next day, DUKE carved into his chest as a warning to the others. 

Very few have heard of Anxiety. 

Good, Virgil thinks, as he slips ricin powder into a teabag. (He works as a castor oil salesman, he has to use the byproduct for something.) He mails the teabag to the address written on the discreet envelope he had received, and another corrupt politician is dead within the month. Technically, Virgil’s never killed anyone. It’s none of his business what his clients do with his products, after all. 

One day, Virgil is collecting the mail from the false address he uses as Anxiety, and he notices a letter. The stationery is too fancy, the handwriting would be easily identified��either this client is very stupid or they don’t care about being found out, which amounts to the same thing regardless. He carefully opens the letter.

It contains a hundred worth of marks, and instructions.

The instructions say to travel to the royal court. To get a job as a servant in the palace kitchens. To administer his product to the king and four others, whose names Virgil only vaguely recognizes. They must be important, though, for this much money.

He doesn’t usually travel, and this job seems dangerous... Clearly, more factors are at play here than a hired killer is permitted to know. But the letter promises four hundred more when the murder is done, and, well, that’s a lot of money. Virgil would be set for life. And who knows the consequences if he declines? 

He starts a mental packing list, and is on the road to the court within the week. 

(end) 

idk yet what happens next—my current idea is that Remus is also hired to kill the same people, and only the person who completes the job gets paid for it. That’s not great though… I kinda feel like one of them (probably Virgil) would just give up on the job if there was competition. It’d be pretty easy to contrive a reason for them to Not Do That—maybe if they don’t complete the job, they get killed? Virgil’s mysterious employer is already planning to kill him when the job is done, though—can’t have anyone knowing that you were (indirectly) the one to kill the previous king. Virgil isn’t fully aware of his employer’s plans, but he suspects. Virgil suspects everything. Paranoia keeps him alive. 

WAIT ACTUALLY IDEA (you are watching me brainstorm this au in real time)(ooh, how would a brainstorm work in the Mindscape? anyways)

I stopped typing for a sec and my brain wandered over to thinking about where the other sides could come into this au. (bear with me. also, this idea isn’t necessarily better than the last one. you have been warned.) 

So. Virgil’s employer (who I will call M. Evil or probably Mevil from now on) is probably killing the four people who are ahead of them for the throne, right? 

And Roman is a prince, right? 

So: Remus is Roman’s brother… c!Thomas is their dad… Logan and Janus are also ahead of Mevil for the throne (maybe one or both of them is engaged to Roman)… See where I’m going with this? (Maybe? Yes? No?)

(and Patton is the royal baker, Virgil’s boss while he works at the palace. Nobody is trying to kill him, but he might be accidentally endangered anyways)

okay, so Remus is the black sheep of the family, as he is wont to be in basically every AU I write. Being the Duke is sort of his side hobby? (Legally, he is a duke. Being a serial killer is the side hobby) He travels a lot, which is fairly normal for nobility. And wherever he goes, bloodshed follows.

There are theories among the kingdom that the Duke is following Remus, disturbingly obsessed with him. No one suspects that Remus might be the Duke, because Remus is a public figure and is ostensibly under too much scrutiny to get away with literal murder. Interestingly enough, it’s usually the crown’s political opponents who are murdered? Who knows why that could be. 

Somehow (brainstorm first, details later) Remus hears of a plot to murder himself, his twin, his father, and a few of his favourite court members. He travels back to the court to protect them, because who can defend from an assassin better than an assassin? He immediately clocks Virgil as the would-be-killer, they mutually attempt to kill each other a few times, then they fall in gay love and kill Mevil. The end. 

hmm. not the best, but probably better than my first idea. 

thoughts? 

-🐢

I fucking L O V E both ideas S O fucking much oml P L E A S E!!! I absolutely adore the cleverness of their assassin names and Ree being the most creatively gruesome towards his targets is so badass and fitting!!! Character!Thomas being the Creativitwins' dads is such an underrated concept that I L O V E and I am L O O K I N G at that Roloceit implication 👀👀👀👀👀👀 I seriously find the concept that no one suspects Ree to be a known assassin because of his title and that he'd "easily be caught" is D E L I C I O U S like he's just doing his royal duties nothing to see here he's definitely not causing murders or anything XD Also I L O V E that the beloveds are out for each other at first because Ree needs to protect himself and his people but they end up in love and killing Vee's employer instead that's just beautiful <3

[cupcakerias]

roy for the list thingy pretty pls!!!! (ur super cool btw >:3)

AWWWW THANK YOU i’m glad you think this blog is cool 🥹 it’s my favorite blog of mine i’m really proud of it… i don’t wanna waste time being sappy tho soooooo

roy🍕

fave thing about them: oh my god i like everything about roy lol. i admire roy so much. his personality is hilarious. like he’s a coward and apathetic at the same time. it’s so relatable. a lot of people may think that’s a total contradiction but if you’re a true #sufferer you’ll get it. also when he gets super pissed at willow/james for rear-ending his car it’s so funny. i think roy should be allowed to be an asshole sometimes he deserves it. also he’s the only chef who doesn’t smile at the beginning of the day in the original pizzeria THAT’S SO DAMN FUNNY but he’s happy sometimes too and that’s cute to see in the promo art (i specifically like that one christmas artwork with papa and joy and the gingerbread apartment it’s SO CUTE) anyways yay #peaceandloveonplanetearth

his design is one of my favorites. i love the pizzeria uniform AND i love his B style it looks so casual and it’s JARRING because when you see roy you never assume he’s just chilling. but that’s why it’s so funny. literally half of his B style is still work clothes. also read this old ass forum post it makes this even funnier

also i kinda like how he has an established family. idk if it’s apparent yet but i always end up thinking more abt family dynamics rather than ship ones… i don’t mean to favor that over romance bcuz i love shipping as well but IDK that’s just how my brain works. he has a cool ninja older sister and a weird ass uncle and i think it’s funny how he’s like the only average one of the bunch. lol 👍

also his orders are really good it’s like flipline understood the assignment with roy every single time. they never forgot…. also since he likes valentines most of the time most of his orders look super cute LOL i love that

least fave thing about them: there is not a single bone in my body that hates roy. you could not make me hate roy. never ever everrrrrr

brOTP: JOYYYYY i think they have a good relationship. i see interps of them not getting along which makes me kinda sad 🥲 but it’s a totally valid interp anyway so i try not to care especially if the fanwork isn’t focused on them anyways lol. idk roy has “fond memories” of being with joy (mentioned in her flipdeck) and she even “lovingly” based her kart off of her “dearest brother” LOL. also they both like berries and teriyaki and cookies and possibly other stuff as well and i just think it’s so funny how their taste is almost the same sometimes except for like a few things lol. i’ll have to look at that again but it’s such a pain in the ass cuz ninjoy and joy orders are separated on the flipline wiki LOL

OTP: so basically i see roy as the boring dating sim protag so i like ship him with like way too much people 😭😭😭 fave is probz roy x allan tho

nOTP: i can’t believe i have to say this but joy and papa louie 😓

random headcanon: i think he’s a really good cook in general and he could probably take over every other restaurant if he wanted to. but he DOESN’T want to. i think he has no idea what he wants to do so he just goes around and helps papa louie all day lol

i actually think he is well-liked by most customers because they don’t think he’s a gloomy dude, they just think he’s the brutally-honest reality check type of guy which is actually fun to have around LOL. he probably just thinks everyone hates him cuz of anxiety XD

he has “normie anime protagonist who is born into a family of greatness” energy basically

unpopular opinion: he doesn’t COMPLETELY hate his job he’s just kinda just doesn’t care abt it lol. he likes it when people enjoy his food and he takes pride in that. he’s like “GOD i can’t take it anymore i’m gonna quit” but the next minute he’s like “This is great. I'm going to get a good grade in pizza, something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve,” lol

fave picture of them: too much LMAO but probably this holiday picture cuz i think the tracksuit/hoodie (?) looks nice over the uniform and he is smiling :) awwww how nice!

shout out to this one from the pizzeria DX ad on youtube tho i use it at a reaction image all the time now 😍

[momochi789]

I was supposed to write a paper, but my brain decided to fixate on an au that vaguely entered my mind at 3 am. Now it’s 6 am and I have a whole chart to share and ask questions about.

So I’m really into Linked Universe @linkeduniverse and I’ve also been watching Dungeon Meshi. Mush them together and that’s the au.

Before going into this, note that relationships between characters are altered so things don’t get weird. I’m not a big shipper. So if there is any romantic relationships, it’s likely between Link and Zelda (Or some other canon relationship).

All the notes are done in Procreate and I was writing with my finger so don’t judge my handwriting.

Red means I’m pretty certain that I want that character in that role. (Still taking input on them tho)

Blue means I have an idea but, I’m uncertain.

Purple means I’m really uncertain and would really like some input.

The Touden Party came pretty easy to me. The only issue is Marcille. I initially had Legend as Marcille, but I have some pretty fun ideas if Legend is Shuro instead.

At the moment I have Twilight as Marcille. Which I honestly like. I mean he uses dark magic of which Chilchuck/Four has some gripes about, has big sibling energy with Laios/Wild, and is an adult who Senshi/Time views as younger than he is. The issue comes in with Twilight’s relationship with Falin/Hyrule. I don’t really know their dynamic that well so idk if Twilight would match Marcille’s desperation. So input on that would be nice.

I quite like the idea for Shuro/Legend’s party. The only grievance I have with it is that Legend is my favorite Link and I would like him to be more present for the story. But if I must sacrifice favoritism for the story I will.

I had initially been hesitant about these roles but I’ve decided that I quite like them. Though I’m super unsure about who should be Mr and Mrs Tansu.

Wars as Kabru was a no brained to me. I think out of all the Links he’s the most assimilated into society and is the resident human expert. I have general ideas about the rest of the party, but Daya is giving me some trouble.

To be honest, I’m in the middle of watching the anime so most of my knowledge about these characters are from being on social media. So I would greatly appreciate input on these ones in particular.

These ones I just thought would be fun.

As for the Canaries, they’re also a group I know very little about so help would be appreciated. One thing to note is that I thought it would be fun if all of them were characters from Hyrule Warriors.

I have literally no info on these characters aside from them having a relation to Senshi/Time. So idk if the Kokiri fit.

Lastly this is a list of Minor characters. These ones aren’t too important to the au, but I thought it might be fun or interesting. I don’t have many ideas for it tho. So if anyone has any suggestions, I’m open to hearing them.

If you suggest a character because a plot point that could be a spoiler for me, still feel free to share anyways because I will enjoy the show regardless of being spoiled.

This isn’t anything super serious. I might make a couple mini comics about it. But this is all just for fun. I’m not trying on a be super rigid with the story.

Thank you if you read all of this. Feel free to dm any suggestions.

P.S. I finished writing all of this out around 7 am so I’ve been working on this for the past 4 hours at an ungodly hour lmao

[cuntycthulu]

Update 3/20/25: I might be going on hiatus. Idk for how long.

This has been long overdue. I’d love to introduce myself, and hopefully make some new kinky friends. Hello fellow transgender autistics and weirdos in my phone :3

I like and follow from @tarajinsiyati-cthulu. This is my second blog.

This is a kink blog: Minors do not interact. Put your age in your bio, or I block. No asks or private messages from anyone under 20. 18 to 20 year olds that are flirty in the tags/comments are on thin ice. 

Outside of minors, I do not have a comprehensive DNI list, but I reserve the right to block anyone I feel like blocking. [Yes, whatever groups of people that commit or encourage violence of any type against any living breathing beings, I block.]

🧿🧿🇮🇷🧿🧿⚧️🪬⚧️🧿🧿🇮🇷🧿🧿

I am Axtar (‎اختر), and my pronouns are he/they (‎آنها/او). I am 24.

(No, that’s not my irl name. It’s one I’m using to protect my privacy.

If my Farsi is wrong, please kindly and respectfully correct me. I am an adoptee, and learning about both Persian and Nordic culture to reconnect with my heritage.)

Get to know me:

I am a fat autistic chronically ill intersex trans man. I’m epicene, queer, abrosexual, and figuring out whether or not I am caedsexual. Honestly, I think trans and nonbinary people of all genders and sexes are incredibly hot. Romantically, I am so T4T, ofc including nonbinary and intersex people. I am autistic with ADHD, OCD, and cPTSD. I have hEDS, POTS, and chronic migraines with brain stem aura. I’m a switch and vers.

Hellraiser is my favorite film. My favorite colors are aquatic blues + greens, mystic indigos, and blood reds. My special interests are horror, drag, makeup, fashion, sex/kink, Marvel, forensic science, animals/nature, spirituality/theology, history, and art (art of really any kind tbh). I especially love film and TV. I am currently working on a short film script.

(Yes I am in the spideypool and poolverine fandom. Honestly, I have participated in a shit ton of ships and fandoms. And yes, I freaking love Dragula, the Shudder horror and alternative drag competition reality TV series.)

My best friend and chosen little brother is a furry. I have a deep respect, fondness, and appreciation for the furry community. My government assigned fursona is a binturong, and I do plan on drawing him 😎

I am an eclectic pagan, and I worship several deities of different origins. I look to Nahid and my ancestors for guidance. My fulltrúi is Loki. Currently learning more about Krishna.

My List of Kinks and Limits:

Please assume all my kinks are only for enthusiastically consenting adults!

Kinks:

- Watersports, omorashi, really any kind of piss play (Except for piss drinking and piss enemas)

- Squirting/milking. (I’m a double Virgo of course I’m insanely aroused by making my partner and myself feel good)

- I am a size king, make that shit hurt.

- BDSM (Including shibari, restraints, spreader bars, dom/sub relationships, whips/paddles, pain play, chastity, etc)

- Biting and hickeys (in places where no one could see the marks <3)

- Breeding kink goes burrrrr

- Edging

- Desperate fucking with clothes still on

- Forcemasc [and/or anything gender affirming/encouraging. We (especially right now) need some fucking positivity]

- Roleplay

- Monsterfucking

- Aphrodisiacs/gentle intox

- Leather, PVC, wet-look, and lingerie. Just fetish wear and gear in general.

- Kink with historical context like flagging

- Body hair on literally anyone of any gender or sex. I will go absolutely feral.

- Exhibitionism

- Strapless strap (this isn’t rly a kink, just an extension of my body lol)

- hierophilia and blasphemy (a way of life 😈)

- Age gap (Only in a situation where my scene partner is older than me. I have a thing for people in their thirties to forties.)

- I just want to say, because I think they don’t get enough attention: I fucking love submissive men, and men that are in touch with their emotions. Men that are desperate to please, and whine for my touch. Men that roll their hips, and arch their backs. Men that get wet and/or hard easily. Men that whine to come. Men that can ruin their orgasms just to last longer for me. Men with scruff. Men with happy trails. Men that aren’t afraid to wear makeup and lingerie. Give them to me.

- There will probably be more kinks listed here.

Soft limits:

- ONLINE, STRICTLY FICTIONAL, roleplay involving scarification, blood, needles, torture, etc. can be a turn on in some situations. (I mean come on, you read that my favorite movie is Hellraiser. This shouldn’t be that much of a stretch.)

- CNC (and some harsher forms of intox) as a submissive, never as a dom. (this has the potential to be a turn on for me, but only ONLINE, STRICTLY FICTIONAL. Even if we are ever in an irl relationship, CNC will never ever be a real kink of mine. Always make sure I am awake, aware, sober, and enthusiastically consenting before making a move on me.)

- I’m curious but also nervous about anal training.

Hard Limits that I (usually) won’t block over if a blog posts them, or if a scene partner enjoys them, I just don’t want pms/roleplay about these:

- No scat /ABDL /messing

- No catheters.

- No enemas.

- No snot or sneezing.

- No vomit.

- No farting.

- No inflation.

- No feeder/feedee play nor content.

- No misgendering, detrans, force-fem, etc.

- No roachification.

- Somno might get a block from me if it goes with the kinks I go over next…

Hard Limits that I will block over:

- [No age regression, no pedophilia (including faux/illustrations), no incest (including faux/illustrations), no zoophilia (including faux/illustrations) etc] Basically, nothing “icky”.

- No “birth kink”. No images or videos of a person nor animal giving birth (including illustrations/animation). Please dear god I do not want to witness the miracle of child birth.

- No medical kink, including odontophilia, even if it’s just sharing fantasies. Please do that with someone else.

- No kink that involves the fetishization of trauma and/or systemic discrimination, including “Master/Slave”, and “race play”. (Black sex workers and kinksters that engage in this will not be blocked; I get people have different views on it. It’s just something I personally would not like to engage in.)

- No talk, footage, images, or illustrations surrounding irl physical harm (including rape/abuse) of another real living breathing being. [Including no talk, footage, images, or illustrations surrounding irl physical harm (including rape/abuse) of another real FORMERLY living breathing being. Basically, no necrophilia]

If there is a kink that you have that you haven’t seen in my list of kinks, soft limits, and hard limits: please ask me for my consent first before including it in a scene (including both irl and online).

And, my list of soft and hard limits for real life is obviously going to be different than my online ones. For anyone that I engage with in IRL kink spaces, I’d appreciate if we had a discussion on our IRL soft and hard limits before entering a scene.

I am open to dms and asks only from other trans, nonbinary, queer, intersex, and/or GNC people. That may change eventually, but that’s where I am right now. (And again, I do not welcome dms from anyone under 20.)

If it sounds like we’re a good fit, don’t be afraid to send me a dm/ask! If you want to stay anonymous, specify who you are with an emoji. I’ll list the taken emoji’s here:

[trobedgirldads]

Hey, I'm working on my Cooliver fic. Do you have a list of episodes that are best to rewatch to get their personalities and dynamics?

okay first of all i’m honored that you thought to ask me. second of all, i’m sorry i took forever to reply but i realized i didn’t have a list so i put one together lol

the otto motto (s1 e18) is the first time the idea of oliver being gay is mentioned

the walk (s1 e 20) is sooo important for cooper. first time we see his real personality instead of just his cool kid facade. also iirc this is the first appearance of “move on to your next point”

boo-who? (s2 e5) is pretty good for early oliver. it’s got his sass, some insecurities, a touch of scheming and ofc his iconic scream. cooper’s not in it tho.

blondetourage (s2 e11) is so iconic for them. the sneakers, the phone scheme. “i’m already riding bitch on your vespa.”

all coupled up (s2 e17) is their first big fight, so if you’re writing a fight/argument this is a good one. also some good cooper & katie moments.

it’s hard to say goodbye (s2 e19) is another one without cooper, but if you’re writing sad oliver this is such a good reference; he’s really well written and acted in this episode. the cgi tears take me out tho 😭😭

here we go again (s3 e2) has them work through conflicts and like resolve a fight without intervention from katie/greg. i love them <3. absolutely banger episode for each of them individually, and them as a duo.

enemies: an otto story (s3 e4) has a good oliver scheme, and he gets cooper in on it. cooper talking about tagging along to boarding school with him makes me feel things.

trust me (s3 e5) is the absolutely iconic scooby-doo halloween costumes/making out practice episode that every cooliver writer has written about. i think it’s the first time cooper is seriously brought into the whole “oliver might be gay” bit, but i might be wrong about that (i know cooper’s mentioned the first time it’s ever brought up, but i think this is the first time he really seems like a piece of the puzzle)

body image (s3 e6) again, no cooper, but very good for insecure oliver

mo’ money, mo’ problems (s3 e13) is also so iconic in my brain. idk how genuinely important it is to either of their development, but it means a lot to me. i can’t remember who it was, but someone on here posted a really good analysis of cooper in this episode and how he’s lying to try to get oliver to not go to the party, which could be useful depending what you’re writing. also this is the first time cooper calls katie and greg mom and dad :(

insta-friends (s3 e16) is another big fight for them, and also some serious cooper daddy/mommy issues. this one isn’t super helpful for individual oliver, but it’s great for individual cooper and their dynamic when they’re mad at each other

field trippin’ (s3 e20) is a much sillier, fluffier episode than a lot of what i have on this list. silly lil scheme gone wrong. cooper’s really only in the first like half of this one tho

a mom’s parade (s3 e22) ok so hot take i don’t really like this episode that much… you can do you is very queer coded tho so it’s going on the list lol

girls’ night out (s4 e6) is just so awesome. oliver’s really sweet towards the end, and it’s bcuz of cooper. cooliver/triplor double date mention!!! tiny touch of cooper angst. greg implying that cooper holds a similar role in the family to trip. just all of it is so perfectly cooliver. this is one of their best episodes imo

hip to be square (s4 e9) is the i love you episode!!!!!!!!!!!! them fighting and then saying they love each other!!!!!!!!!!! so interesting for their dynamic!!!

a very english scandal (s4 e14) is the one where the whole school thinks oliver is gay. the one time cooper denies being oliver’s boyfriend. overall very gay episode.

all is fair in love and war reenactment (s4 e17) is a good one for them supporting each other, but not enabling each other’s shitty behavior. really good for their dynamic, and cooper’s got some good layers in this episode

senior prank (s4 e18) ohhhhh they’re such big brothers in this one i love it so much. if you wanna write them as parents this might be a decent reference. also, not cooliver related but franklin is just so iconic in this.

vacation! (s4 e19) i’ve said it before and ill say it again: this episode feels more like a cooliver fic than an actual episode. so good for both of them as individuals, their dynamic as a couple, and how cooper fits into the otto family as a whole.

prom (s4 e20) is another one that i think is good for oliver as an individual and their relationship as a pair. also big brother cooper crumbs!! (they’re very small but they’re there and they’re important to me 😌)

graduation (s5 e1) is ofc so good if you’re writing some angst. seeing how they deal with issues involving them that seem out of their control. also more cooper fitting into the family as a whole <3

psych (s5 e2) is really good for later-seasons oliver and his need for validation. also supportive bf cooper :)

coupling (s5 e3) is the episode i show ppl if i want to get them into the show bcuz it gives such a good overview of all of the characters and their relationships with each other. more cooliver fighting if you need references for that. the couple coding in this episode is so intense.

kids these days (s5 e5) is sooooo good for their dynamic bcuz it really shows how they support each other without enabling each other. i love cooper so much in this episode. “our family” <3

mother’s little helper (s5 e6) is pretty good. shows off that no matter how much they’ve grown, they’re still just dumb teenage boys.

encourage, discourage (s5 e8) is soooo good for cooper fitting into the family as a whole.

the heist (s5 e9) chef cooper origin!!!!! oliver being a supportive bf!!! i love them!!!

getting frank with the ottos (s5 e10) is a big turning point in their relationship. once again, supportive bf oliver!! they’re so cute.

the election (s5 e13) i feel like their dynamic is a little bit weird in this episode (oliver’s like weirdly chill abt once again being confronted w the idea of cooper moving, but ig it’s bcuz he has his own stuff going on) but it’s so good for sad cooper/daddy issues cooper. this is definitely a huge one for cooper angst references

okok so this is a really big list. obvs i don’t know what the plot of your fic is or when it’s set, so some of these might be much more helpful than others depending what you’re writing. these are just my suggestions of the ones that stand out as important for them as individuals and as a duo. hope this is helpful!!!! i’m excited to read your fic if/when you post it :)

[dollarstoreartsupplies]

Hi!!! Sorry I know you reblogged that DVD fic commentary post like literally last year HOWEVER I have been going insane over your Cinderella!pete fic and (not)imaginary friend tinkly and was hoping you would like to share your thoughts? It’s fine if you don’t I just really love all of your npmd fics!

Hi Hi Hi @sanguineed!!! Sorry this took so long I have SO many thoughts and honestly i apologize if this is NOTHING i truly just infodumped about thought process for like a million words and have no clue if it's anything or even coherent hgkjdflkll

(Cinderella Pete fic link)

(Imaginary Friend fic link)

OKAY SO starting with Cinderella pete:

I’m honestly obsessed with Cinderella aus they’re my one weakness because I’m a big hurt/comfort and fairy tale loser and they are DEEP in that hurt-comfort-fairy-tale sauce, but they’re also a very fun blank slate that you can do SO MUCH WITH

So, honestly, from the second I watched NPMD and the characters burrowed their way deeply into my beautiful mind I had a really bare bones ‘day-dream-a-fic-in-my-brain’ lautski cinderella au that was nothing and I never planned on writing it and then one of the Lautski Week prompts was fairy tale and I rewatched season one of once upon a time (unrelated to the prompt list, i do that like once a year) it very rapidly because A Much More Detailed thing

I didn’t want to just do a normal step-family plot line because then that gets very weird and complicated having to really hone in on the non-existent spankoffski parents and I wanted Ted to be involved, so i just, honestly, fully yoinked Erica from princess and the pauper’s backstory and went ‘okay that works’

AND THEN back to once upon a time (in case y’all aren’t fellow ouat-heads): so in that show rumplestiltskin canonically murders cinderella’s fairy godmother and becomes her new fairy godmother (just, like, much more sinisterly) and that concept is so horrific and fascinating that it has been rotating in my brain since I was nine years old and resurfaced just in time as I was starting this fic

Because I honestly wasn’t sure if I was going to have a traditional fairy godmother at first? I was just going to have his friends help him, and then I was like OH! Miss Holloway! Of course! And then tinky slowly rose into view in the middle distance and unfortunately there was NOTHING i could do but make him the fairy godmother stand in (which, thank god, tbh idk if I would have been able to write a substantial enough plot without him there to make things Bad)

It just all worked out SO well in a way I really wasn’t expecting because Steph is a REALLY fun prince(ss) charming! Because she’s Not! Good! At! It! But thats almost entirely because she’s Not! Trying! To! Be!

It’s just very fun to show the contrast between both steph and pete having been born into their roles/titles, and how it affects them/they react to it. Steph’s got way more expectations, and her role is technically more ‘important’ but she resents a lot of the really awful parts and isn’t being supported in the way she should be so of course she’s not the best at it! And on the flip side pete is WAY overqualified for what he has to do and he KNOWS that but there's literally nothing he can do to fix it,,,,, and,,,, they’re gonna kiss,..,.,..

Ughghghh theres so much more about this fic id love to talk about but honestly all the really fun stuff is still coming so I may have to come back to this post so i dont spoil! I do have to say: pete’s about to have such a bad time and then eventually SUCH a good time!

AND THEN YES NON-IMAGINARY FRIEND TINKY!!!! MY BELOVED!!!

I’m honestly so thrilled I was actually able to pull that one into a real fic, because it was just such a fun concept that bonked around in my head for like a week and I was convinced it was gonna stay there. But it didn’t! And you all seem to enjoy it so im very glad!!

Honestly that one stems ENTIRELY from the line in the nmt Yellow Jacket where Lex says she used to be able to see Webby (i thinkkkkkk someone also made a tumblr post about the same thing that wormed it’s way into my brain but i have NOT been able to find it so if someone knows the one Im talking about plssss let me know) and i started to think about the lords in black potentially pulling a webby on their own chosen?

Because Tinky is obsessed with ted, we know this, but theres a HUGE age gap between pete and ted and i think it would be very fun for a tinky to look down at one time line’s ted, whose already eighteen-ish and at best would think he was losing his mind, and try to get to him through his not-yet-born brother,,,,, like it’s so upsetting,,,,, very fun though

I also just REALLY love writing the spankoffski brothers (i’ve got two older siblings, one of whom is significantly older than me, and sibling dynamics are some of my favorites to write) and it was really fun to explore them at the Peak of their age gap. Ted is such an interesting character; he loves his little brother but he’s also an asshole and pretty self-centered so he’s doing a lot right (answering pete’s questions, not caring what Pete wears, trying his best not to swear or upset him) but he isn’t Built for child care so he’s also ignoring pete for his tv show and prone to snap when something that (admittedly is so incredibly fucked up) upsets him gets brought up. 

He’s a guy who works best in extreme situations; he’s the best at being a brother when he’s thrown into action (getting pete out of the road/forcing his parents to get pete help), but he’s not exactly a Bad brother other times,,,, he’s just a dude,,,, just a guy,,,, 

I also kind of wanted to make it unclear if pete Does have low blood sugar episodes or if thats tinky all on his own, because i think playing with the Power Of Belief is a really fun thing in stories like this (can you…. tell i ran essentially an It fandom blog for like three years ghfksl)

So, to break the Pete-tinky belief timeline down (prob unnecessarily but i think it’s fun):

Pete was born and tinky has ALWAYS been there, Pete does not think this is at all weird and also has always known tinky so it would be like suddenly deciding your mom isn’t real– you wouldn’t do it, it wouldn’t even cross your mind

He’s a kid, so everyone humors him and assumes it’s an imaginary friend thing (and his parents are older and old fashioned so even if it sometimes tilted a little farther from conceivable little kid with an imaginary friend territory they’d never EVER assume or mention that it could be something a little more serious/an actual problem)

Any time his voices doubts about people thinking tinky was imaginary tinky 'very logically' explains it as pete just being special, so the only one who can see him, and, once again, he’s always seen and known tinky was there so this makes way more sense then him just NOT BEING REAL

He does something really dangerous, TED specifically forces everyone to actually figure it out, and the only conceivable thing a doctor can find is pete is diabetic, specifically prone to low blood sugar episodes, which can cause hallucinations

Pete is a Very Logical kid, and suddenly a seed of doubt has actually been planted with reasoning

Tinky knows this and Does Not Like it but as it keeps going and he keeps getting more upset and everyone keeps making a plan to deal with pete’s diabetes he’s started to get more and more convinced that tinky might not actually be real

Once he’s more convinced than he isn’t that tinky is a hallucination tinky starts to lose his hold, and once pete starts taking low blood sugar precautions he either creates a block so tinky can ONLY show up to him when his blood sugar is low OR tinky personally fucks with his blood sugar so he can be seen (like a fucked up version of lex with webby- it’s just a far more logic and fact based way of growing out of it/not being allowed to fully see him)

As he grows up he forgets just how convinced he had been that tinky was real and just generally gets used to this weird little quirk of his low blood sugar/fully dreads it

THEN pete goes into the old waylon place and because it’s the main alter for the LIB tinky regains ALL his power and then some over pete/the physical world of the house while inside

That’s where the fic gets to, and honestly probably where it’ll stay, but if i was to write more i think it would sort of waver in the opposite direction time line wise, where pete holds onto the belief that tinky isn’t real for a littttle longer than he probably should, even after he kills max and eventually as doubt really creeps in tinky starts showing up more

THEN OKAY SO the one scene I really wanted to write but couldn’t fit it in so I blended parts of it up into the end of the current fic was a little precursor summoning?

So, obviously theres the real summoning, which is SO fun in this au and I’m still praying one day I’ll get enough ideas/spoons to write it, and idk where this would fit in the show timeline, maybe where if I loved you kind of fits or right before it, but essentially:

Pete comes clean to steph, in a way that fits with all the weird supernatural fuckery going on but not fully, honestly (so she doesn’t know the full extent until post-summoning), and the two of them make a plan (that steph DOES NOT LIKE) where he’ll, like, chug some coffee and purposefully trigger a low blood sugar episode so he can see tinky and ask him questions

If i had ended up writing it that would have been when he really realizes that tinky is a real thing; he probably would have pushed it a little too hard until steph gets nervous and kind of forces him swallow a glucose tablet and he snaps out of it (and tinky goes away, but just to fuck with pete and build the tension, not because he has to now)

I hadn’t been totally able to figure out how it would work out in a timeline (Which is why it never got written) but my plan was potentially to have solomon not be the one to show them the book, but instead tinky gives pete the directions, OR, if Solomon does show it to them, pete knows uncomfortably intrinsically how to do the ritual and is almost falling exactly in step with steph’s dad to find the book and on what to do

BUT YES!! Them!!! I know this was a way more general summary kind of overview, so if there were any specific scenes or characters or anything you were interested in lmk! I would love to get into it! Thank you so so much!! There's literally NEVER a time limit on any ask prompt things i reblog im always thrilled to answer! <3<3<3

[greenokapi]

So… what do y’all do when you wanna do a bajillion things but you can’t settle on which thing to do so you just kind of end up doing nothing?

… lissen I’m still only recently diagnosed with adhd so I still don’t know how to work with it… I wanna draw so many things, wanna make merch, comics, I wanna write a fuckton of silly cringe fanfics… I wanna make videos? Like maybe youtube videos rambling abt stuff while drawing but then I don’t know if anyone would even be interested in that, and besides I haven’t done video editing in…. Probably close to 20years? What program should I use? Anyone got any tips on that?

I also wanna make stuff, lil bead things like these guys I made a while ago for example

I also wanna try doll customization cause it’s kinda only been the last decade or so where I’ve allowed myself to like dolls… reasons for that being … uh… gender stuff… it’s like only now in my life, around 30 have I finally gotten somewhat close to getting a grasp on my gender and sexuality, and I never even really realized before that this was something I had a problem with? Which probably makes no sense tbh…

I also wanna do sculpting and even paint, after art school teachers made me feel like I should never paint again bcs idk man I wasn’t up to their standards 🤷

And… I wanna do all this stuff but not only does brain say ‘adhd my guy’ but there’s also my increasing health issues that… I mean I’ve always had them but I guess getting older makes it harder and harder to constantly deal with them… and that’s another thing I never really realized was so bad until back when I was in Japan in 2015-2016 as an exchange student and would have to go to the hospital increasingly often bcs of pain nobody could diagnose… aand then I was shamed for it bcs having to go to the hospital in the middle of the night sometimes was a huge hassle to the dorm staff, idk I was a problem…

Since then I’ve had two operations and will probably need to have more in the future. Also, amusingly, when I finally got diagnosed I was looking at the list of symptoms, all of which I could relate to in at least some way, but the ones that stood out, for some reason, were ‘constant exhaustion’ and then below it was ‘insomnia’ and… maybe I’m not actually lazy when I’m tired all the time? But y’know, I don’t really wanna use a chronic condition as an excuse to just do nothing, plenty of ppl have chronic problems but still do stuff with their life… but when I think like that I also remember this isn’t a ‘pain competition’ or something like that and different people just have different capabilities to deal with chronic pain and such… idk, I honestly think I’m still trying to come to terms with the realization that being exhausted and in pain all the time probably counts as some kind of disability….. but I don’t feel like I’m allowed to say I’m disabled bcs I do also have good days, you know? I should probably try harder to just DO things?

Ahem, it’s like 9AM and I haven’t been able to sleep and stuff hurts… I just wanna go do something productive but instead I’m whining on here which I probably shouldn’t do bcs this is the internet and strangers can see what you post and maybe use it against you but also sometimes you just really wanna rant into the void… or maybe more like semi-void cause idk, maybe someone reads this and can relate or give advice or just talk or something? Buuut you suck at talking… then later you feel embarrassed about your tired rambles and probably end up deleting them and just bring them up in therapy later like you should…

Anyway, until this embarrassment pops up I’m probably gonna try to find some painkillers and go draw or something -3-

[foggyfanfic]

Neurodivergent Madrigals

So in the tags of my first headcanon list @omgcheez mentioned neurodivergent headcanons for the canon characters, and it got me thinking. I don't know if I would call all of these headcanons, most of them are my interpretations of canon, or theories I have, but that's close enough.

Bruno- Dude has OCD, they put it in the script, the creators said he’s based off of ND family members, it’s canon. Dude may have autism too, I am largely apathetic to that reading of his character. I neither like nor dislike it. I think it works for him but his character also works without autism. I do headcanon that he comes out of the walls with back problems that not even Julieta can fix, that will make him bed ridden in the last year of his life.

Alma- The whole movie is kind of contingent on her PTSD. Like, she watched her husband get murdered right in front of her and it changed her. It would be really weird to be like “Yeah, sure, her trauma changed her forever, but it didn’t alter her brain chemistry or anything!” So yeah, Alma has PTSD.

Pepa- I don’t know a lot about anxiety disorders, so this theory is one grain of salt away from being canon to me. Is it still an anxiety disorder if the thing making you anxious is the ever looming threat you might summon a hurricane? Or is that just perfectly normal, non-disordered anxiety? Either way, the woman is constantly anxious, so depending on the definition of Anxiety Disorder, she probably has one.

Antonio- This is in that nebulous space between “an idea the writers had” and “something that wasn’t in the movie”. It’s not technically canon, but it’s a little more than a fan theory. He was originally supposed to be non-verbal, so unless the plan was for him to be straight up mute, I think it’s pretty safe to read him as autistic. Although mute Antonio would have been interesting too.

Luisa- This is on the line between fan theory and headcanon. Her people pleasing tendencies scream anxiety disorder to me, especially considering the way she melts down when she feels like she’s disappointing everyone.

Dolores- I don’t think the writers intended for her to be autistic, but a lot of people in that community vibe with her, so that’s a headcanon I will go to bat for. I think that even if she isn’t literally autistic, her gift effects her in ways that she kind of might as well be. Y'know? It's like with Alma, it's sort of weird to be like "Yeah, ok, so because of her super hearing she experiences a lot of the same issues as an autistic person who struggles with sensory sensitivity, but she doesn't have an autistic brain! Just an extremely similar life experience!".

Mirabel- She’s probably got some unaddressed depression, I feel like that’s kind of a given. Although, the movie sets her up more as a metaphor for being physically disabled.

Isabela- I think you could very easily read Isabela as being some variation of ND that hyper fixates (on plants), and she just has masking skills off the charts. So either autism or ADHD, or both.

Julieta- IDK what problems Juli has, but realistically she’s been dealing with gruesome injuries from a young age. So she’s probably got some sort of trauma response. We don't see enough of her character outside the role of Caring Mother for me to make a call on this.

Camilo- He’s a theatre kid.

[vacantgodling]

since @sarahlizziewrites asked, i figure it’d be good to make a post kind of explaining my method of madness or how i’m trying to force myself to finish a book by catering to and weaponizing my interest focused brain

STEP 1: i have a full outline for myself where i actually do bracket out what happens in every single chapter. obviously when i go to write things stuff may change, get added, will be longer etc but we’re focusing on the “first draft get it out!” scenario. your outline doesn’t have to be perfect—you can leave stuff out etc. but the goal is that you literally have the entire story written out beat for beat. how are we getting from point a to point z. paramour’s full outline is 12 pages but yours could be longer or shorter than that. the reason for this is because as a lot of people do, it’s easy to figure out the beginning and the end but the middle is always a befuddled mess. so i’m basically doing this to take the excuse out of my brain that i can’t write this because idk what happens next—because i do! the outline also serves as a rekindling of interest for me because it’s like reading an abridged version of the book i know i want to write and love. when i lose motivation i can go back and reread my notes for a chapter or the whole thing and get reinvigorated to work on everything because WOW!! i can’t wait to get here!!!

STEP 2: this is optional but if your memory isn’t great like mine this might help. i create “chapter titles” more so as a guide to tell me in even shorter hand what a chapter is about. for instance, the chapter i’m currently working on in paramour is chapter 10. it’s cheat sheet title is “aloe” to remind me, oh yeah, this is the chapter that hya and aloe meet in person for the first time. stuff like that. this will help with the next step.

STEP 3: rank each chapter, between 1-5 stars, based on how excited i am to write it. it doesn’t matter what the reason, my goal was to simply gauge my interest level for each chapter, what things do i have a good idea of, which scenes are more difficult or require more research or technical or they aren’t as interesting or whatever.

STEP 4: FINALLY i group them all together, all the five stars, the four stars, the three, etc. and then among those lists, which of THOSE am i the most excited to write? same 5 star scale. and that’s how i ended up creating my list: most excited to write to least excited to write. for me that process looked like this:

now, what you do with this list is up for you to decide. for me, i’m playing into my interest addled brain: i wrote the chapter i was MOST EXCITED to write first (chapter 20 i finished it in 2 days lolol) but now i went to the very bottom of my list to write the chapter i want to write the least with the promise that i can go back up to the top to write the chapter i want to write most next as a motivator! so yeah that’s the process for how i decided everything it’s been working pretty good so far (even tho it’s only been a few days). i hope that explanation makes sense haha,,

[lemonmoxy]

Ok just to preface this. I am not a fan of AI. For labor reasons, for quality reasons, for the selfish reason of when I’m looking for art I don’t want it clogged down with just objectively bad art (like the hands are fucked up and extra feet).

I do think the primary problem isn’t AI itself but unregulated capitalism that doesn’t care about quality, only lowering costs and the lack of safety nets for people who are ejected to cut costs. It’s bad that the companies do that. It’s bad that there are no safety nets. The problem isn’t really AI BUT until we fix those problems we should regulate the thing directly causing harm.

But some of you anti-AI people have lost your fucking minds.

So. A lot of you are crying about stolen commissions. I promise you, most of the people using AI to generate pictures of their OCs were never going to pay you. They cannot afford to pay you. Or that’s a luxury expense that just isn’t going to happen. I am paycheck to paycheck and I’m never going to spend a whole video game’s worth of money on a picture of my little goblin. Your art IS worth that much, I promise you, I’m not telling you to lower your rates. But I do not have that kind of money for that sort of indulgence. I’m sorry but you peddle luxury, there’s a reason why we had art patrons back in the day.

Some of my friends use AI for their OCs for table top games. I don’t. Because honestly sitting there fucking with it sounds tedious and frustrating to me and the results are always mid at best. But y’all also get mad about people “taking” your art to use for their OCs and maybe editing it to fit the character they have in mind. Which is WILD. I’ll agree, people who do that shouldn’t post it, but if you’re so mad at what people are doing in the privacy of their non published casual dnd sessions, maybe chill the fuck out? Being you sounds exhausting. I also see some of you get mad at people tagging things as inspiration. So what? You want people to pay the poor tax of using piccrew? Even though the results are samey and kinda bad? Idk y’all just are tripping on something.

I’m starting to wonder just what people think inspiration and brainstorming are. People have been pretending to be baffled about why people might use AI to brainstorm. “Use your own brain”. What the fuck do you think brainstorming is? You do not brainstorm by sitting in your room thinking. I mean maybe YOU do. But like you get inspiration from the world around you guys, be for real. A conversation you overheard. An outfit you saw at a crosswalk. The set of the brow of someone on your bus route. A funny post you saw on tumblr. A generative AI like chat GPT is taking things found online and showing them to you. Unless you’re uncritically using it to write a story (and if so that’s bad. Lack of effort and a bad product is bad obviously) you ARE using your brain. We draw inspiration from the world around us, just like the AI does. I know it sucks to feel unoriginal but you just are, sorry. That’s not bad even if it might feel like it. It just is. Even if you sit in a little box and don’t look at the world while you think, you’re thinking about the things you’ve seen and reconfiguring them. Sorry to be the one to break it to you?

Also, you know what chatGPT is good for? Anything an intern could do. You wanna organize your schedule? It’s good at that. You want a grocery list? It’s good at that. You want a menu based of what you got? It’s good at that. Not perfect. Don’t fucking trust a machine without quality checking it, we know that, you guys know that, corporations know that too they just don’t CARE. I don’t know why they’re pretending not to know, money, I don’t know why you guys started pretending.

I saw someone complaining like an old person about spell check and grammar check and how their kid didn’t know that it could be wrong. A ten year old. As if that isn’t normal and explaining to kids how the world works is dystopian. Nah man it’s not a mystery why the kid who still has spelling tests as a part of their everyday school lesions might not know that machines are fallible yet. Probably just how he hasn’t quite learned that adults are idiots too. This person was acting like spell check was some moral sin, some hallmark of the end. Ok grandpa, do you think we should give up the pencil too because writing things down is rotting our brains?

Just like writing things down isn’t an evil action of destroying your memory. I really do not see the difference between me googling for recipes with my ingredients and chatGPT doing it for me. Frankly I’m just as likely to forget I don’t have coriander. But it takes longer for me to do it and sucks.