#idk salt is important to me

[lotusarchon]

"oh, you hate mu qing cause he left xie lian-"

I get that the fandom tends to bully Mu Qing for that a lot, but I don't hate him because of that because by that logic I should hate Xie Lian for how he acted, Hua Cheng for his favoritism, Feng Xin for also leaving etc.

I don't hate Mu Qing for leaving Xie Lian because I get where he was coming from. If I was in that situation, i wouldn't be prioritizing Xie Lian, important as he may be, over someone else who's far more important in terms of bond.

I can't speak for other Mu Qing haters tbh, but I hate Mu Qing because of his actions in book one, where he looks down on Xie Lian like he's some kind of toad. Maybe he does evidently change as the novel goes, but first impressions and appearances mean a lot to me, and with the way Mu Qing acted towards Xie Lian in the beginning irked me off, especially with the whole point of looking down upon Xie Lian just because he ascended for the third time and had a lower class than him (memory's foggy it's been a whileeee since I read TGCF)

And me hating Mu Qing doesn't mean I don't understand how his character is. Don't misunderstand that, but I'm not obliged to like him with his shitty ass attitude towards Xie Lian in the first book. Yes he changed but I genuinely don't care, however, that doesn't mean I'm going to yell at Mu Qing fans for liking him.

Me personally, if I had to choose between shooting Jun Wu in the head and Mu Qing, Mu Qing's getting shot twice. [I don't approve of what JW did but at least he was charming on first introduction and not a snobby bitch.]

Edit: someone said it was rude to tag character hate. Twas'nt my attention for people to mildly be aware of me not liking Mu Qing, just kinda to point out that I'm irked by how the fans that hate him only focus on the fact he abandoned Xie Lian. My problem is his attitude but overall I know his character doesn't depend on everything Xie Lian does, and it's absolutely annoying watching people shit on him for THAT alone as if other characters haven't done worst.

[randomnameless]

It's always interesting to see how UO gives to its local church a neutral role in the world - dare I say neutral good as in the faith is cited by some characters as their source of inspiration and strength to endure the various events the game puts them through...

And then, apparently, the decision of not having the option to kill Sanatio is controversial?

albion thoughts under the cut

Albion was undercooked because bankruptcy and all, and I already wrote a bit about the general wtf of that arc that can basically be summed up as "Scarlett's dad told his two right hand men that his daughter is away/in hiding and made them swore to never reveal anything about her to anyone, including themselves", so when Scarlett's dad kicks the bucket, they both know a heir exists somewhere, but they can't trust each other and have a fall out instead, which leads them to fight and, ultimately, to the "plot" and "antagonism" of this arc.

Sanatio's basically in charge of the Orthodoxy - Nigel is in charge of its knights? - and the Pope's second.

Pope told Sanatio Scarlett exists and went away for a "mission", but never told him where she was sent to - something only Nigel knows.

The Pope kicks the bucket - given how Galerius laments his death in Cornia, I doubt Arant was killed by his goons or something after unlocking 5 out of 6 sanctuaries, that's why he's super happy that they finally found Scarlett to unlock the last one - and then Sanation, as the de facto dude in charge of Albion is faced with a dilemna.

Not knowing where Scarlett is, he either reveals to his people and the faithful that the Pope is dead and is line is extinguished - which would send the faithful and the people of Albion in disarray because 1/the pope and his line are revered/sacred in Fevrith's religion 2/the orthodoxy falls apart, including the local churches etc etc, and we see and are told that the faith is the only thing some people rely on to withstand and survive the Zenoiran invasion -

Or Sanatio hides the Pope's death - asking Baltro to sort of preserve his body from decomposing too much - thus lies to the people of Albion and the Faithful, but at least they can still have faith/believe that somehow things are going to be better, and the Church is still, somehow, allowed to do its stuff (Zenoira apparently doesn't mind the church helpind people and doing Sharon things).

"But that means working with Zenoira, the ones who invaded his homeland and the baddies of the verse!"

Having replayed that part in Bastorias, we have a NPC who's basically telling us that while Albion apparently "accepted" to work with Zenoira, their autonomy is nothing but a façade since Zenoira stationned a good chunk of its army there : in a way, Albion is occupied by the Zenoirans.

Without any clue about Scarlett's survival or location, I suppose faced with "we destroy you and what makes your people withstand our occupation/nonsense" and "you will lie to your people and we won't turn you in minced meat, you'll be left with some degree of autonomy (lel) but we won't kill your people (not overtly at least)", it was basically having him be stucked between two hard choices, but only one meant immediate doom, so it's the one he avoided.

Of course it sucks - and a half baked plot being a half baked plot - means that when the Liberation Army manages to boot Zenoira away from Albion, Sanation's choice to accept the Zenoiran rule, if it means temporary respite for his people is seen as fishy/inacceptable, but iirc his Raenys rapport is pretty upfront : some people resent him for siding with Zenoira, and yet, he picked what was, at that time, the "lesser evil" between the two.

Albion is interesting because it's one of the few recurring motives in this arc, and it contrasts well with what we saw in Cornia in the beginning.

Clive's rapports with Joseph are all about him coming to terms with what his father did - and how it wasn't useless - even if it mean his and his family's death : he fought and resisted against Zenoira. Clive himself seems to have little love for the lords who "turned against the crown" and sided with Zenoira after the invasion.

We could have had a confrontation with Monica (and Melisandre!)'s pov, because Monica's grandpa apparently supported Zenoira under the promise/assurance that Galerius and his army were going to let their people alive/alone if they sided with him (as much as Zenoira follows on those kind of promises lol). But then, it's revealed that Monica's grandpa was actually supporting, in the shadows, the Liberation Army.

In the last arc of the game, this is echoed again through Jerome - the knight who bakes sweets. Sure, there's not a lot to say about him since we recruit him so late in the story, and he has nearly no rapport convos to flesh him out : and yet we see in his mission that he is a local lord who is very much appreciated by his people, but immediately surrendered when Zenoira invaded Albion, instead of fighting them (like Fodoquir!) because if he surrendered, it'd mean his people would be spared.

And they were untouched (apparently?) by the Zenoirans.

However, Jerome still thinks he deserves to die (Alain can execute him if the player wants to be an ass I guess) because, even if it was for his people's sake, the thing is he still worked/accepted the Zenoiran rule.

Interestingly, in an era where some people cry everywhere they want "morally grey" settings, it's the second time that when some characters are faced with impossible dilemnas, some part of the fandom revile them for picking a "wrong choice".

in both cases, those people are in charge of that setting's major religion, maybe it's just a coincidence?

Clive wonders if his father made the right choice to priorize "the cause" over "his people", when Jerome immediately abandoned "the cause" for "his people".

and then you have Fodoquir who abandons both when his people sacrifice his son

I guess I'd really have appreciated a rapport conversation between Jerome and the Cornian knights, but VW ran out of time/money.

[lit-in-thy-heart]

thinking about how it's almost worse that the true lancelot thanked merlin at the end of 4x09 because instead of having some comfort in thinking that the shade was only the image of lancelot, merlin has to live with the knowledge that his lancelot was there the entire time, locked away, and he did nothing to help him until it was too late

[stinkrascal]

wait i have one more thought about the gale discourse from a few days ago okay

OKAY so we all agree that calling gale an abuser is wrong because he was in a relationship with a literal goddess who obviously had way more power than him and who took advantage of him as a teenager/young adult and now has put a BOMB IN HIS CHEST and expects him to kill himself to destroy the absolute yeah okay anyways. the game literally punishes you for following mystra's orders and allowing gale to "redeem" himself by killing everyone during the final battle in act 2... the worst ending imaginable happens! ur whole party dies, the game immediately ends, mind flayers take over the city! everyone becomes infected or enslaved! the whole game ends miserably!! the narrative in the game tells you explicitly that, by gale following mystra's orders, it becomes the worst thing he could've possibly done not just for himself, but for humanity!! the story is explicitly telling us that gale's story is not strictly about redemption, but about freeing himself from the burden of mystra's manipulation. and freeing himself from her, freeing himself from this idea that he must prove his worthiness to her, is the best thing he can do for himself!! like literally this is the narration telling u that mystra isnt SHIT!!! and yet there are still sillies in this fandom trying to say otherwise. u guys are SILLY! play the game again! read this time! pls! im begging you!

[julystruck]

ABSOLUTELY GIRLFLOPPING THROUGH LIFE 💯 🔥💯 🔥💯 🔥💯 🔥💯 🔥💯 🔥

[danothan]

YOU DIDNT ASK so im sorry in advance (especially because i wont be explaining this well) But. ill be so honest i dont think the t-shirt kon is bad in a vacuum like it could be cute 😭 i do think its genuinely kinda fun when the characters wear their own little merch. the t-shirt outfit is even kind of funny because hes literally just wearing a t-shirt and jeans 😭 i love kon no matter what!!

but in the context of the transition from young justice (the comic) and the gang "graduating" into the teen titans (vol.3) i feel like it was a regression for him. idk i read into kon and transness+being lgbt too much so ive seen interpretations of it being his internalized homo/transphobia because its also a time where he has a secret identity for the first time in small-town america... and i do enjoy that, but it was Not intended by the writes (especially considering who was writing him in the mid-late 2000s)

kon's character to start off is really about identity and the reclamation of it when he was intended to be a Thing, and how he struggled under the weight of acting like he thinks he should/expectations placed on him (especially because he did not have an alternate identity or a name at first, he was just superboy. THEN kon el and conner kent) and how he expresses himself by replacing a tag cadmus put on him with a gold earring and generally dressing in a flashy and flamboyant and alternative way

so then when we transition to the teen titans kon, they sort of......strip him of that expression of personality. hes put in a t-shirt and jeans. they take away his earring. hes put in a relationship w/ cassie sandsmark (who btw. is very wlw coded to match him in the YJ comic, and both of their designs suffered what we call the cishetifcation) that is ultimately so bad for their characters (meanwhile kon is written into the most gay coded friendship w/ tim drake for like. a decade.)

and the young justice cartoon is an adaptation that was attempting to take the teen titans run from the 80s i believe? and young justice 98-2003, AND the 00's teen titans run. (decades of story to work with and way too many characters and groups, leads the cartoon to, in my opinion, suffer from a too many cooks situation)

and it does not handle kons character very well at all either </3 AND they used the t-shirt design while sticking him in a very unhealthy relationship w/ a character hes never really interacted w/ much in the comics. so umm. TL;DR very mixed feelings on t-shirt conner

i do recommend reading young justice though <3 (AND IM GLAD YOU LIKE MY DESIGN !! tysm <333 the curly hair is a must <3) sorry for the essay i just wanted to expand on why i put the t-shirt boy in the "sigh" categories 😭

ah, when i said i liked t-shirt conner, i didn’t mean the outfit, i was specifically referring to the young justice cartoon’s characterization ^^; i do acknowledge that it was a mixed bag that was forced to cherrypick years of history as an adaptation, and i get why conner fans don’t see him as Their Conner, but i’m gonna be so real with you. i liked him a lot in the cartoon 😭 as a standalone show, the first season does a rly good job of letting you understand his struggles and thought process, there were a lot of moments that endeared me to his angst while also letting him still feel like a kid. but i think i’m also biased towards characters that default to anger as a trauma response (completely unrelated to recent events believe it or not! wacky coincidence tho! foreshadowing even…?)

conner and m’gann’s relationship was def not the most interesting to me, but it’s also not the worst one. i have other biases against. other couples. but i’m curious to see how it develops bc unhealthy or not, i wanna see how it affects the characters, ykwim? like i’m not in it for the shipping, even if we All know there’s a better conner ship U__U

idk i just feel worn out by comics cynicism bc while i get it (i’m a hal fan, by god do i get it), i also don’t want to treat anything in dc too sacred. it’s more fun for me personally to view new iterations/adaptations as puzzles to work out rather than view them as character assassinations if even that. there are some truly unsalvageable things out there, but i generally think there’s smth good to gain in everything. and the young justice cartoon gave me a t-shirt conner to gain in my heart, so i can’t fault his character change too much as drastic as it is

all of this to say tho: the alt look is obviously superior. NOTHING beats a cropped jacket <3

[poppyseed799]

My favorite pastime: roleplaying characters and just making them soso weird and then pulling up the DSM-5 to try to diagnose them

[marblemuffin]

man. I might have to block the g/ood o/mens tag. lol

[open-sketchbook]

an interesting thing that has happened to me the more i read is like

that whole 'people were just as smart in the past as they are now' thing is... it's useful to avoid thinking about the past as being being the domain of a universally inferior Other, but also like

i don't think people really appreciate the ways in which a lot of people living right now are way, way healthier than a lot of the people living in the past, in ways that have enormous effects on people's ability to think about stuff

the effect of iodized salt alone! and we don't put lead in everything anymore!

i'm saying this because its important to understand that a much much larger proportion of people in the past were regularly struggling with illnesses and deficiencies that today we think of as health emergencies

that's gonna affect things even before we get to questions of social technologies for learning and experimentation...

so like every once in a while when i see some shit in a history book and i'm like 'wait seriously' i remember the people they're talking about are largely illiterate, most of them experienced childhood malnutrition of some kind, and intellectual curiosity largely wasn't useful because in many cases answers better than 'idk ghosts' did not yet exist.

like, even the stuff they were experts on they still understood primarily through just-so stories because their society just straight up lacked the tools to examine the causes and effects more closely, right? if you don't know what nitrogen is but you do know what four-crop rotation is, you have to make up a story to explain it.

and if you believe that story is true, you might make decisions based on that story that go very poorly for you.

so like, people in the past weren't stupid, yes. but it's also important to recognize how people here in the future are smarter in ways you might not realize, and you gotta temper your despair about The State Of Misinformation Today or whatever with the recognition that we are, by and large, much much better equipped, physically socially and technologically, to deal with misinformation and find the truth than the majority of our ancestors

[ms-demeanor]

Okay THANK YOU for saying “your body craves what it needs” is bs because that felt like bs this whole time.

Like you don’t need more sugar if you crave sweets that is NOT what that means. Sugar is a food that people crave because it tastes good/sugar I think is an addictive food??

Idk it just felt like people making excuses when they’re supposed to be trying to eat a little healthier (healthier, not low cal, not low fat or keto or whatever. Diets are bs but craving sweets does not mean sugar is healthy thing for your body rn)

People crave sugar because it tastes good, which is not a bad thing, and there is an evolutionary reason that sugar and fat taste good to us. Carbs are your body's favorite thing because it is SUPER easy for your body to break them down into useful molecules.

I'm not a fan of the idea that any foods are addictive and I'm skeptical of models that suggest "refined food addiction" is a thing with a measurable, real-world impact; there's a lot of debate in that area of nutrition science and to me it kind of seems like the tools people use to track food addiction aren't really examining the addictiveness of specific foods, but are decent screening tools for people who have compulsive behaviors around food (for instance, one group of people who the Yale Food Addiction Scale has repeatedly been demonstrated to be REALLY good at identifying is people with anorexia).

But your body needs sugar all the time, whether that's in the form of complex carbohydrates that get broken down into simple sugars by your body, or simple sugars that you stir into your tea that then gets sent to your cells as energy. If your diet doesn't have enough sugar in it, your body has a processes to turn non-sugars into sugar so that it can use the sugar (gluconeogenesis!). Sugar is unambiguously good for you in the way that fat is unambiguously good for you. You need sugar to survive and it's not a bad thing if you want to have a cookie or a soda or some candy, and again - your craving probably isn't telling you that you're deficient in a specific micro or macronutrient, but I still think that you should listen to your craving.

Like, I don't know how much you know about psychotherapy but the attitude that a lot of diet-focused discussion takes toward cravings reminds me of cognitive behavioral therapy. "When you crave chocolate, no you don't! Don't think about the chocolate, you actually probably need starch or sugar or something, let's redirect that into having a banana, or some frozen berries, or some spinach. Point away from the unhealthy craving and into the healthy replacement, or, better yet, ignore the craving. Mind over matter. You choose how you act."

(I actually think "X craving means that I want Y food so I shall replace it with Z, which is similar" "craving salt means that I am dehydrated and need electrolytes so instead of potato chips I'll have some soup" is how this goes most of the time. I think this is a diet culture thing, not a food positivity thing.)

And you know what I think that's a garbage way to look at both food and emotions.

When I'm craving ice cream it's not because I've been mostly vegetarian for a week and am low on dietary cholesterol (AN IMPORTANT NUTRIENT. Don't be scared of consuming some cholesterol), I'm craving ice cream because sugar and fat taste good. So instead of trying to pretend that I'm getting "what I need" from a piece of salmon the size of a deck of cards with no salt and some lemon squeezed on top, I'm going to scoop out a moderate portion of ice cream and eat it while focusing on how much I enjoy it. And I'm going to do that instead of sitting down with a pint and a spoon while I'm stressed at work and eating something that tastes good to distract from the fact that work is stressful. (And sometimes it's fine to sit down with a pint and a spoon but I will say that's generally best not to do while you're in the middle of something stressful)

And if you want to relate that back to therapy I see this as more of the DBT approach. I've accepted that I want ice cream so I'm going to eat it in an intentional way and enjoy it instead of eating so much that I don't want dinner, or that it makes me feel sick, or that I eat it without noticing it because I'm using it as a distraction instead of a snack.

I'm not trying to shut down the negative emotion or shun the "bad" food, I'm accepting that I have that emotion and I'm working this neutral food into my day so that I'll feel good tomorrow and won't get heartburn overnight.

So I see that you're trying to be kind of anti diet culture here, but I don't think people need excuses to eat sugar, and I actually think that making excuses to eat it is significantly less healthy than just eating the sugar (which, again, is unambiguously healthy to eat as part of a varied, filling, nutritious diet). It seems like you may have internalized some ideas about sugar that are not great even if you are trying to separate from diet culture.

Nobody is ever going to eat a diet so healthy and nutritionally complete that they don't want candy or cake or cookies sometimes. Food is not only fuel, it is entertainment and culture and comfort and distraction and celebration and a million other things, but it is not bad. I don't think there's a single universally bad food out there, or any food that never belongs as part of someone's diet (unless it's something you're allergic to - I don't care if you're craving peanuts, do not eat peanuts if you have a peanut allergy).

So it's okay to make sugar, you don't need to make excuses. It's okay to eat sugar if you're craving sugar, even if that's not what your body "needs". But also sometimes a craving is your body saying "I'm hungry and this sounds good, please feed me" even if you're not a finely-tuned spectrometer that's craving blueberries pie because you actually need antioxidants from the blueberries (you're not a finely tuned spectrometer, you don't need the antioxidants from the blueberries, it's perfectly fine to just eat a slice of pie).

[skipper1331]

Red and Blue // Leah Williamson

a/n: might be back or not, idk :)

Long distance.

You hated that word.

It reminded you that you wouldn‘t wake up next to your lover,

that you wouldn’t get a good night kiss or cuddles either,

that you couldn't get any affection except over the phone - which wasn't a long-term solution.

Each day that passed it was harder to deny the desire to go back home, back home to Leah.

To be fair, it wasn’t the first time that you‘d been long distance but ever since Leah had put a ring to your finger, the 'fiancé' and 'soon to be wife' rolling of her tongue made your heart ache.

Home was calling.

-

When you shared your thoughts on transferring back to the English league, Leah was excited and so happy - she’s been missing you like crazy. The blonde more than obsessed with you and still so in love with you. The thought of playing side by side with you in red was everything she could wish for. Every time you wore her Arsenal jersey - 'Williamson' on your back - she fell more and more in love with you. Sometimes she thought there was no way that she could love you even more yet you surprised her each time. Sometimes it was the way you smiled or other times it was the way her family loved you, endless possibilities. She would never stop falling deeper in love with you.

Though, what didn’t occur to her was that you hadn’t gotten any offers by Arsenal.

Brighton had offered one, Liverpool too, as did Chelsea.

Chelsea

London… Leah… Leah. London. London. Leah. Leah. London.

you couldn’t say no to that, could you?

Many thoughts ran through your mind.

should you or should you not?

do you want to or do you not?

Would Leah still love you or not?

Normally, you immediately would talk to her, thinking about the pros and the cons, what your heart was telling you to do.

But this time your heart was torn apart into two pieces. On piece was blue: with the opportunities you had at Chelsea - Champions League, winning titles, fellow English teammates, amazing staff,… The other piece was red: yelling, fighting and begging to wait, maybe Arsenal would offer something, some day. Would Leah be mad at you? She‘s been a gunner since she was little.

-

After many sleepless nights, you did the only right thing.

You signed with the Blues.

Leah wouldn’t be mad at you, would she? Your career is important to her too. She just couldn’t be mad. She loved you and you loved her.

Sun and moon.

Salt and pepper.

day and night.

black and white.

red and blue.

It would be fine, right?

-

Leaving the airport was a relief. You were finally back in England.

The great news was that Leah happily agreed to pick you up from the airport, still fully convinced that you had signed with the gunners.

The bad news was that you didn‘t and you still needed to tell her that you signed with the blue rival.

You were tense, nervous even. The defender not sensing any of that as she was in such a bliss of your presence and touch, her hand holding yours tightly as she drove to her apartment - her mind racing about moving in together.

-

The first hour in Leah’s apartment was spent with kisses and cuddling on the couch, trying to catch up the time you spent apart.

"Do you want something to eat, my love? I could make you something. I‘m sure you‘re hungry from the flight" she smiled, her fingers tracing patterns on your back.

"Yes please, but no ham sandwich" you giggled, the blonde gasping before pressing an gentle kiss to your forehead.

As you sat alone on the couch for a few minutes, you realized that you had to tell her now. Or wouldn’t ever tell her - too afraid of her reaction.

Standing up, you grabbed something, wrapped in wrapping paper, out of your backpack.

Please don’t kill me

Please don’t break up with me

"Love, dinner is almost ready." the girl smiled, proudly stating that nothing‘s burned.

"Leah, could we talk about something first?" you fidgeted with your fingers.

"Yes, of course. I actually wanted to talk to you about something too! Do you want to move in with me?" She was so excited, her smile wider than it was in a long time. Your heart fluttered.

"I‘d love that, but maybe you‘d like to open this first" you stated, your voice low as you tried to be cool, calm and collected.

Skeptically, she looked at you - you‘re nervous, "What‘s this?" she asked, already opening the gift.

"What the fuck ist that!" the gunner growled, seeing the Chelsea jersey, "are you trying to be funny!" she questioned, a scowl on her face as she stared at the 'Williamson' on the back.

"No" you whispered - now or never.. "I signed with Chelsea, Leah. And I‘d like to play with your- soon also my name on the back"

"WHAT!" She shouted, outraged by the thought of you in blue, hurt by thought of you not being in red.

"Arsenal didn’t offer me a contract and that‘s okay because I’m still here, back with you" you said, trying to lighten the mood.

Failing miserably.

"I‘d rather not see you at all than seeing you in blue!" she yelled, her fists clenching at her sides. How could you do that? How could play for the one club the despised the most.

Was her loyalty a joke to you? Was her childhood club a joke to you?

"You don’t mean that" you said, trying to convince yourself more than any other person.

"Oh, I absolutely do! Fly to wherever, I don’t care. And the audacity to think-" she laughed, "to think that you‘d play with the name Williamson on the back of a Chelsea shirt some day" turning off the stove, she walked around the counter, her face now serious as she glared at you like you had killed someone.

"Leave" she pointed at the door, "and just so you know, the invitation to move in has been rescinded"

your own anger started to bubble up now. You get it, she‘s mad, you expected her to be but to throw insults like at you? That wasn‘t okay. Angrily, you grabbed your bagpack, your suitcases still in Leah‘s car, something you‘d worry about later as you put on your shoes while the blonde still grumbled to herself about how reckless you were, that you didn‘t use your brain, questioning if you even had functional brain cells.

"You know what Leah, you‘re right. I wasn‘t using my brain. But not when I signed the contract but when I said yes to your proposal!" yanking down the engagement ring, you shoved it against her chest.

And as soon as you had slammed the door, the tears were spilling out of your eyes.

This was not the way you expected everything to happen nor did you want it that way.

In short: Leah Williamson was obviously furios but actually it was just a facade that she became aware of as soon as you had left the house. She was deeply hurt.

Deeply hurt by the fact that you had let her think she‘d be finally playing side by side with the love of her life. Because she was so excited, she had already planned everything through. This was everything she had ever wanted.. and now, it‘s gone.

You were gone.

Added to that, your last comment ripped her heart out, smashed it to the ground and stomped on it.

Fuck! Did you really just broke up with her?

Why was she stupid?! Why couldn’t she react normal, like every other person would have! Her stupid pride was in the way, once again.

She wanted to run after you. She really wanted to, but her legs wouldn’t move. It was too late.

You were gone.

she couldn't have caught up to you even if she wanted to.

Panic.

Panic, panic, panic.

Tears.

More tears.

Everything was too much.

She tried to call you.

No answer.

She texted.

Not even delivered.

Fuck.

"Mum, I-" she hiccuped in the speaker, "I fucked up and" her sobs were getting louder and louder, she didn‘t want to say it out loud, "and I think she broke up with me"

-

Within a few minutes Amanda let herself in in her daughters home.

She found Leah crying on the couch, sobbing violently while she typed something on her phone.

"Y/n-" her head snapped up, disappointed when she saw her mum instead of you, "oh, it‘s you" she whispered, wiping away the tears which didn’t help much as new tears streamed down.

"You wanna tell me what happened?" Amanda asked as she took a seat beside her daughter, arms wrapping around.

As soon as her mother hugged her the defender broke down once again, clinging onto her mother. Her heart was broken. She had broken your heart, so you broke hers in return. She deserved this. She‘s been nothing but an arse.

Once Leah had calmed down, she started to tell the story, every detail, every snarky comment she had left. She wasn‘t proud of her behavior. "I don‘t know what I was thinking. it just happened. I‘m so sorry. I love her"

"You need to apologize to her, not to me"

"I don’t know where she is! If she‘s safe or- I don‘t know, mum" she was desperate. The tears started to get less and less yet the broken heart very much felt.

"I‘ve been dreaming of this wedding since I’m 16! Do you know how often I imagined her being a Williamson? Every day, mum, every fucking day."

-

Around midnight her mum left, Leah promising her that she would call if she needed anything.

The only thing she needed was you, though.

She had to make things right, she couldn’t throw an over a decade going relationship away. Not when it was a relationship with you. The girl she loved more than anything in this world. The girl she would quit football for if she had to. She would walk to Antarctica if that would bring you back to her, back home.

Unknown to her, you weren‘t far away, just around the corner of her house actually.

When you left the house, you didn‘t know where to go. You didn‘t want to call any of your friends because you would have had to explain the situation and in that moment, you didn’t have the strength to do so.

In that moment, you needed to be alone. Your thoughts were running in every direction, trying to escape reality. Did you really broke up with Leah? Or had she broken up with you? You couldn’t tell. All you knew was that your heart hurt and felt empty. You waited ages for this day, to finally see Leah and it ended like this. One hour of bliss, more hours of horror. This couldn’t be the end, could it?

It was Leah and you.

There‘s never been You without Leah or Leah without You.

The picture of Leah‘s face haunted you. It seemed like her world collapsed when you gave her the ring. Were you overreacting? Your feelings were valid. She couldn’t just go crazy, tell you to fuck off and then expect to be happily ever after.

But even though, you‘re feelings were hurt in one of the worst ways possible, you couldn’t just give up. This was Leah. You knew Leah. You knew that it had to be deeper.

And when you saw her mum‘s car pulling up in the driveway, you knew that Leah was a wreck. The blonde was tough on the outside but on the inside, she was this sweet charming sensitive girl who adored to love and to be loved. And the fact that it hadn’t even been 20min before Amanda was at her apartment, surely meant something.

-

Standing at the front door, you thought about leaving again. Amanda had only left like 5 minutes ago, but you didn’t want to be outside any longer. It was dark and cold. And all you wanted was to be with Leah. You couldn’t just leave the things at where they were, that wasn’t like you.

So here you were, still fighting an inner battle if to knock on the door or not.

Yet you did.

Your love for the blonde defender was stronger than any pride right now.

A little spot in your mind hoped that she wouldn’t open the door, afraid to be confronted.

The gunner was shocked when she saw you standing there. Her eyes wide, the tear stains visible, cat caught her tongue.

Her next reaction was hugging you like her life depended on it and you did just the same. "I love you, I love you, I love you" you heard her whisper, not making any attempt of letting you go any time soon. She needed this.

You both needed it.

After what felt like forever, she pulled back, her hands cupping your face, thumbs caressing your cheeks, "you’re safe" her eyes checked for any sign of injury or discomfort, "I‘m okay" you confirmed.

"Let us talk, okay? I love you. I promise not to explode like that again. I love you so much" a single tear escaped her eye. You were quick to gently wipe it away, the blonde relaxing under your touch.

"Do you think I could get something from the dinner you made earlier?" you shyly smiled, your stomach growling. The lioness let out a breathy relieved laugh, nodding, "anything you want, my love." Without thinking she pressed a kiss to your forehead, pulling you into the kitchen.

There was an awkward silence while she re-heated up the dinner yet happily doing so. This was a good sign, wasn’t it?

Once finished, she placed the plate of food in front of you, "Do you want to be left alone while you eat? I‘ll be in the bedroom, you can call me whenever you‘re ready" she was already turning, ready to give you some space when you grabbed her wrist, "please stay"

-

"Thank you for dinner, it tasted great" you smiled. Leah returned your smile shyly, cheeks turning red.

"Um, and I guess we should talk, yes?"

she nodded slowly, "yes. I think it‘s really important that we share all of our thoughts and listen to each other before reacting to something said, is that okay with you? I know it‘s my fault it blew up earlier but I’d really like to apologize and let you understand what was going through me. And I want to understand your side of the story too and not cut you off in the middle of the sentence. I know my behavior earlier was very childish, I won’t let that happen again." gently she squeezed your hand, reassuring as well as promising you that she was ready to behave like a grown woman, like the woman you fell in love with.

"Would you like to start?"

"Yes, that would be very nice"

-

After hours of conversation, apologizing and exchanging thoughts, feelings and insecurities, you both came to a conclusion that worked for the both of you:

1. Leah promised to never ever treat you like that again. She respected you, she really did and she would forever try to show you that

2. always listen to each other before speaking! Communication is key.

3. Leah promised to cook dinner for two whole months as a sign of her remorse, also she offered a thousand kisses and more.

4. You promised Leah to never let her in the dark.

5. Moving in together seemed perfect.

Later that night, or rather in the early morning hours, you laid in bed together, you were snuggled up in Leah‘s side, your head resting on her chest as she played with your hair.

"I can hear your brain working, my love, what‘s the matter?" you asked gently, resting your chin on your hand, so could look at her - your finger seemed so empty.

With a quick motion, you sat on her lap, the blonde now sitting up as well, "I love you" gently, she took your hand in her own, holding it a way that had your hand facing her.

She didn‘t say anything, but pressing a feather light kiss on your ring finger. You got the silent message, plead even.

"yeah, I’d love to have my ring back" you smiled, the lionesses already reaching for it on her nightstand.

"I can’t wait for you to be a Williamson" she admired as she put the ring on its original place.

"Me neither"

Ps. Leah Williamson still didn‘t like Chelsea and she never would but she learned to love the colour blue - because it was you - even more when the name Williamson was displayed on the back.

No matter the colour, Leah Williamson would always loved you.

Though learning to love the colour blue was a process, she still begged you wear her red Arsenal jersey every now and then.

[kosmicdream]

Hello. After drawing webcomics for 10 years and making about 10,000 pages of comics, here are some things i have learned/observed in that experience..

1) making comics does not get easier.. Not really

Making comics is a tedious and slow process and with so many different facets of the experience to learn - you’ll never run out of stuff to learn or weaknesses to work on. I’m not saying this to discourage but to just give the frank reality that it really takes a lifetime to understand. Be patient with yourself and try to set healthy expectations. 

2) Read your own comics after making them.

I don’t know if this is as important to other people as it is to me, but I do think that sometimes its easy to not re-read your own work and just go from your own memory of it, or maybe you’re tired of looking at it because of all the flaws. I don’t personally get sucked into the “rewrite/remake” cycle that I know is common with comics, as I sort of just accept things as they are, but re-reading my work does help me see where I have come from and where I need to go to next. I personally don’t like to lose sight of that, and I think re-reading helps ground me in the planning process of my work and gives me a better perspective on all aspects.

3) A lot of comic advice should be taken with a grain of salt, because its the person talking to themselves. (including this)

I see a lot of advice that never would have worked for me, or just simply wasn’t something I was ever going to follow. “Dont start with your big epic long stories”! Is a common one. I don’t think that’s bad advice exactly, but how many young artists are going to listen, especially if they’ve never told a story in the first place? Yes, the advice to start small and build yourself up with experience sounds great, I’m sure people do it, but if you’re an artist you’re probably not gonna be that responsible. And for me, when i tried to do this with eggshells, my house burnt down and i kinda gave up comics for a while because i lost a lot of work. 

Writing short stories is still something I struggle with, its just not easy for me. I have gotten better at it but i don’t think that makes me less of a comic artist because I haven’t gotten good at that particular format, or that I jump around on my projects. Is it more impressive to have more completed work under your belt, sure. But I also think that.. Idk.. what is the advice actually saying, because with that one it sort of feels (often times) as a warning that you’re setting yourself up for failure/embarrassment by attempting a comic like that. I don’t know how to tell you this, but comics are gonna be embarrassing no matter what you do and there’s no guarantee you’ll be more successful/not experience failure by avoiding your passions. Something to think about anyway. 

4) Don’t draw every leaf. Unless you really want to.

I’m the kind of comic artist that kind of doesn’t care about the art as much as the whole package of the comic. When i see a very impressively drawn panel/page, with laborious detail that is well drawn and maybe even colored ect.. That usually is kind of, I guess, a turn off for me as part of the reading experience. The thing is, when i encounter that, it usually signals to me that someone has poor planning skills for comics. It says to me that comic is probably not going to see its end or that artist is overworking themselves in an unnecessary way, that ends up concerning me about how they’re doing. Because i know how hard it is to draw comics. When an artist phones things in a bit, or has a limit on how much they work on a page, its a relief for me to see! because I understand they have healthier boundaries and expectations, and the art itself usually is less stiff too. This is all an overgeneralization, but I think with a lot of webcomic artists we are usually drawing a comic for the first time ever, so it makes sense we want to do our best and try as hard as possible - that just usually isn’t the smartest plan to put all the stock in the visual department. This also kinda frustrates me to see because most comics (professional or not) will also (generally) not reel the art in ever or make a more simple style. Generally I see it always trying to outdo itself, which leads to burn out. I personally only work about 1hr on each page i draw, that hasn’t changed in the 10 years I have been drawing comics, but i used to spend hundreds of hours drawing detailed lineart for eggshells and it didn’t even read well and i’d be disappointed with the results, feeling more lost with my goals than ever. PLEASe.. Just draw worse, its usually better looking in the end too. (because you wont have the experience to judge visual clarity until you’ve been drawing comics for a while imo..)

5) Don’t draw ahead, draw those inbetweenies.

“Inbetweenies” are the pages for the “boring” ones. They are also usually the most common KIND of page. Its the pages that are necessary, but “inbetween” the action. The impact moments in a scene, ect. You gotta draw them. They’re always gonna be there. They’re the pages where maybe, the character is walking somewhere, thinking, ect. The after impact from an action.. There’s a million examples, but hopefully you’ll understand what I mean when I say they’re both necessary pages/panels, sometimes so mundane/redundant, but also required for telling the story.. As a comic is a sequence of images. This is why, the previous advice is also important IMO- because if you really want to “draw every leaf” - maybe you should save that energy and effort for those impact moments that you want to impress the reader with.. And not for the inbetweenies, which are the foundational support, but also not the most important moments. If you conserve your energy a bit, the contrast OF that effort will also pop more. I personally find it funny when I put more effort into a page and end up tricking my readers into thinking I got better at drawing, when really i just have been able to draw better and only save it for moments like this instead of always.

Also, when I say don’t draw ahead.. I mean I draw each page at a time before going to the next one. I have no idea if this is an unusual practice or not, and I know a lot of people will draw their chapters/episodes/whatever in sections like sketch/ink/color/ect.. But I personally draw and finish page by page, unless its the thumb/sketch stage. Even then, i don’t go ahead much. I think that you can control flow/pacing better by doing chapters all at once of course, I see that as a benefit. But i also think that makes things very overwhelming and can also result in a lack of flexibility if something isn’t working. No matter HOW much planning you do- comics are always going to have an aspect of IMPROVISATION with the result you get in the end. There are way too many factors in play to be in complete control of all of them and always know the result of the reading experience. SO for me, this technique is easier and has been something that continues to get me to working effectively. Plus, rumiko takahashi said that’s what she does. And i think she has some of the best visual flow/compositions in comics. So that’s what I do.

I could write more personal advice or rules that i follow..but I think those are the ones I find are the most important to me anyway. Of course, comics are a strange medium and not everything that works for me will work for you. That’s all for now.. Bye bye…! 

Oh by the way, my comics are here: feastforaking.com nastyreddogs.com https://kosmic.itch.io/ Support me on patreon! https://www.patreon.com/kosmic

[hiddenhearthwitch]

📚 Small Intro To Polytheism📚

One of the most frequent asks I receive is how and where to get started when it comes to polytheism. This is a fairly broad subject and I’ll try to be as general as I can for advice but I will include specific references for Norse polytheists as that’s my shit. This information can be used to help you find a pantheon or to help you pick deities to work with it. If you’d like to use it to pick a patron deity that’s super, if you want to worship 20 gods and not have a patron deity that’s cool too. You do you dude. Please keep in mind this is all reflective of my research and personal practice. 🌻

Picking A Pantheon/Deity

This really boils down to personal preference. You’ll read a lot of posts and books that tell you many different ways and it’s entirely up to you because it is your practice.  That being said, there’s a couple of different ways to go about it. 

Research! This is one of my favorite ways to delve in. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with reading the stories of multiple pantheons and picking on that calls to you. You can also talk to other devotees and see what they have to say about deities and their religions. It is important to keep in mind that some religions are closed so please do proper research!

For example, I wasn’t originally a Norse pagan. I read some stories and thought the Hellenic pantheon would best suit me. I reached out to Eros for a while but after feeling no real connection to the pantheon I continued my research! After reading up on the Norse pantheon I decided to reach out to them out. Obviously, I fucking loved it because here I am. Point being, you can pick a pantheon based on research and not some divine message or whatever. You are also more than welcome to try out a religion, decide it doesn’t suit you, and move on. 

Divination! You can use runes, a pendulum, tarot, etc.This can go a few different ways. You can write pantheon/deity names on separate pieces of paper, mix them up, and place them face down then ask the pendulum to pick. You can assign a deity/pantheon to each suit of cards or major arcana card or even do the same thing with runes. 

For example, this is how I found a devotion to Frigg and Hel. I asked if there were any deities who were interested in working with me and pulled the runes Hagalaz and Berkana which read as Hel and Frigg to me. I followed up with tarot cards and pulled Death(Hel) plus the Queen of Pentacles(Frigg).

Asking/waiting for a sign. This isn’t something I’ve personally done so I don’t have much to say on the subject. You can go about meditating, praying, doing a ritual, or whatever and essentially wait for a sign after. It can come via a dream, something you experience, symbols you see in your daily life, it’s pretty much up to your intuition to decipher it. If anyone has information they’d like me to add in here please let me know!

If there’s a god you’re curious about and don’t want to do any of the above it’s totally cool to just reach out and ask if they want to work with you. 

Idk How To Research

Same, tbh my keyword search game is weak. Anyways, good portion of us are looking up dead religions with little reliable resources. To give those curious about the Norse an easy head start here’s a compiled list of  books by yours truly(click me!!) . It’s important to take everything with a grain a salt of salt when doing research. In my experience a lot of the retold Norse sagas have been Christianized or written under heavy Wiccan influences. It’s a good idea to do research on the author before reading one of their books.

Other blogs! There are tons of great witches and pagans on tumblr that have information waiting for you. 💗 You can search their blog/tags for good references for books, websites, podcasts, etc. Plus lots of blogs are open to answer asks. If you don’t know where to start for searching it’s best to try things based around your interest like: “norse polytheist”, “hellenic witch”, “gaelic polytheism”, etc.

Media! How lucky are we that we live in the age of technology? Knowledge is right at our fingertips! There are countless documentaries, podcasts, and audiobooks on youtube full of information for different cultures and religions. I’d personally recommend almost anything by BBC, Myths & Legends, and World Mythology!

Books! I love starting on goodreads to find good books and trust worthy authors. They’ve had almost every book I looked up with bunches of different reviews so you can get varying perspectives. Check out your local library as well! A lot of city libraries have online databases now of all of their books so you can “check it out” online and read the PDF(personal fave). 

Feeling Lost Still?

That’s completely reasonable and your feelings are more than valid. It can be overwhelming and lot of information to soak up. Just do your best and take it at your own pace, there’s no rush to find a deity or pantheon. 💞 Below are a few other general concerns I hear a lot that I was hoping to address.

“I’m leaving a monotheistic(Christian, Catholic, Jewish, etc) religion and it’s giving me anxiety.” This is entirely common and almost expected in my opinion. I was raised Roman Catholic and my first year to two looking into polytheism riddled me with anxiety. I was constantly concerned that god would smite me down or I’d face an eternity in hell for worshiping false gods. While I can’t speak for everyone that fear was entirely erased for me when I found my gods. I’ve never felt so safe and strong and hopefully with time you can find the same in your gods!

It’s okay to want to learn more or to seek something more. I can’t tell you how to handle your anxiety but please know you’re not alone in that fear. There’s whole communities out there willing to support you and help you find your safe space(including me)!

“What’s UPG?” You’ll see a lot of posts, mine included, that mention UPG - UPG is Unverified Personal Gnosis. This is essentially someone’s personal thoughts and beliefs about a deity. For example, I associate Sif with hazelnuts. There’s nothing in the lore or any book that says that she likes hazelnuts; that’s just a personal opinion(aka a UPG).

“How do I reach out to the gods?” I have a lot of information on my blog about this topic although a lot of it is Norse specific. You can check out my beginner polytheist tag here and my beginner norse post/ask here.

Altar! This is my go to typically. Altars aren’t limited to the cookie cutter image that comes to mind(no hate though I have a few); one thing you can make a side blog dedicated to your pantheon/deity, make a small one in a tin can, or even make one in a video game like Minecraft or some shit. You can be as creative or as to the book as you want. It’s up to you.

Prayer! You can totally just sit down and be like, “Hey man wanna work on some shit together?”. While I’m not 100% that all gods would be down with you being that casual it’s still something you can try.😂 You can reach out to them by sitting down in a quiet space and meditating into prayer, praying in the car or in the shower, or just pray at the altar you set up if you did. Again, I can not reiterate this enough, it’s your practice, reach out to them as you please.

Do something personal! This is more like devotional work in my opinion. Let’s say you knit and you want to reach out to a creative or domestic deity, you can knit something as a devotional act to them and as a way to reach out. For example I pick up litter in honor of the Vanir and Jörð, or I play Skyrim for Thor and Týr.

Most importantly just be honest and up front with the god that you’re reaching out too. Considering that statement be honest with yourself as well. There’s no point going into a relationship with a god if you can’t be upfront, it’ll end up in nothing but grief.

“Can deities reach out through gods/signs?” They totally can. However, it is up to you and your intuition if a deity has and it’s not likely another witch will decipher that for you. Sounds, experiences, images, all have different meanings to each of us - they may show you something that’s very personal to you but would be mundane to someone else. Trust your instincts. However, please remember that not everything is magical, sometimes a raven is just a raven and not Odin.

✨Take everything you learn with a grain of salt. Including this post.✨

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[tightjeansjavi]

The Rite of Movement | drabble

“the most important meal of the day”

A/N: yeah so I guess me simply getting dressed this morning spurred the idea for pornstar!joel and baby love to do yoga together? I—yeah! Idk 😵‍💫

~word count: 956~

Summary: Joel eats you for breakfast

Pairing | pornstar!joel x pornstar!female reader

Warnings: none, fluff, smut, domestic intimacy, amateur porn video, established relationship, oral (f receiving) unprotected piv, teasing, pet names, semi-public sex, one mention of the reader ovulating, Joel is in his 40’s reader is in her 30’s, they are disgustingly in love, reader has no physical descriptions, +18 minors dni!

series masterlist

It was your suggestion that you and Joel should start causally filming vlogs depicting all the little special and real moments in your relationship outside of producing pornos. Joel was elated with the idea immediately, and later surprised you with a brand new handheld camcorder.

You were elated and feeling all those warm fuzzy feelings when he presented the camera to you with a frilly pink bow wrapped around it. Your excitement to document new memories with him on the camera was palpable as you gently threw your arms around his neck, hugging him tightly while his arms looped around your waist, nuzzling his nose into your neck affectionately.

He lived to see you happy even over the littlest things that he had to offer you.

You took to your socials immediately, gushing about Joel, and the new camera which you hinted at on your instagram story. In the corner of the screen you could see his thick middle finger pointed upwards, and his cheesy lopsided grin.

God, did you love this man.

The first video you filmed on the new camera was outside on Joel’s patio. It was a beautiful morning with you and your man participating in yoga with a side of breakfast. You had been the one to encourage him to start practicing yoga to help with the growing stiffness in his back and in his joints overall. He agreed enthusiastically to your suggestion, and he couldn’t say no to an excuse to see you in your cute workout clothes.

But between the mid-morning Texas humidity, and Joel’s occasional low grunts while he was in the downwards dog position, stretching out his back muscles with his head falling between his shoulders, and his salt and peppered hair all sweaty, falling in ringlets over his forehead, you could barely hold your composure for much longer.

There was an obvious wet patch forming through the breathable fabric of your workout shorts the longer you ogled at him, watching the way the muscles in his forearms flexed under the warm sun.

“What’re you lookin’ at, baby love?” His tone was low, deep, and rasping from the angle he was in. He looked over his shoulder at you, brows raised in amusement.

“Nothing, baby.” You lied sweetly, “you’re holding that position really well, Joel. Good job.”

He, however, was unconvinced with your response and slowly sat back on his thighs so that you had a direct view of the growing bulge in loose workout shorts. His cock was already growing hard and heavy, slicked with sweat and a drool of precum that stained the front of his shorts.

“S’that all I’m doin’ well? Can see ya ogling me like I’m your next meal.” He chuckled, grinning from ear to ear with his hands resting on his meaty, strong thighs.

“God fucking dammit.” You let out a groan and let yourself fall gracefully onto your back, thighs parting open so he can see the visible wet patch through the thin fabric. “I’m ovulating, you jackass. And you’re over there grunting and flexing your muscles and— fuck me—” you let out a strained laugh.

“And I’m as hard as a fucking slab of granite with you over there bending and twisting in ways that I didn’t know you could move in.” He nearly growled, eyes zoning in on the wet patch between your thighs. He was crawling towards you on the rubber yoga mat before you even had a chance to respond. “And you’re fuckin’ drippin’ right through your workout shorts, baby love.”

“No shit, Sherlock.” You said sarcastically with a playful roll of your eyes as you sat up on your elbows.

He was between your thighs immediately, big hands grasping your bare skin and pressing you open so the breadth of his shoulders could fit snugly between you. He dragged the tip of his nose right through the wet patch of the fabric. Letting out a deep, manly groan from the mixed aroma of your sweat and arousal, feeling his cock twitch in his shorts.

You reached for his hair, tangling your fingers through the sweaty ringlets, gripping them tightly as he pressed his face further into your covered cunt. “You’re gonna spoil your breakfast, Joel.” You said with a soft giggle, lashes fluttering shut.

“Fuck the breakfast. I’m eatin’ you up instead.” He mumbled against you, dragging his tongue from your covered hole right to your pulsing clit. He nibbled playfully on the fabric with his teeth, pulling the elastic back slowly before letting it snapback. “Would much rather eat my girl, anyway.” He snickered, rubbing his nose back and forth against you, listening to your sweet little whines that spurred him on to continue with his ministrations with his skilled tongue.

More. More. More.

And while he could have just easily pulled down your shorts for easier access, he decided that ripping them open was the better alternative.

And before you could even think about scolding him for ripping your shorts, he was lapping at your folds, and suckling on your clit like a man that was absolutely pussy starved. His eyes were shut as obscene sounds were murmured against your soaked pussy.

Thank goodness neither of you had to worry about any peeping neighbors!

After you’ve come along his tongue more times than you or he can count, he’s slowly feeding you his cock which has grown painfully hard up until this point. He’s so hard, the tip of his cock is nearly swollen as he uses his thumb to press himself into your weeping little hole. He fucks you slow and deep, letting you feel all of him with your calves resting over his shoulders. He’s forgotten all about the ache in his lower back when he’s all far too consumed with you: his baby love, and your pretty pussy hugging him just right.

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[amelee23]

Interpretation of messages and references in Railway

I would like to first say these are my interpretations and I could very well be wrong about these or read way too far into it

!! So take this with a grain of salt !!

TW: BLOOD, GORE AND DEATH TOPICS

1. The text in Romanian

Now, I have seen a few translations because this text is well, spelt wrong. (Idk if it was on purpose or not, maybe to throw us off?)

Special occasion info reveal, but I am Romanian.

My own interpretation is this:

"Castelul meu este un loc al intunericului." which translates to "My castle is a place of darkness."

This translation makes the most sense to me, but like I said, I have seen other translations by people which are a tiny bit different. (but nothing too game changing.)

Personally I like "My castle is a place of darkness" because I feel like it could reference something like a mind palace. So basically saying "my mind is a dark place."

2. Vampire concept

This vampire concept to me seemed to be inspired by Bram Stoker's Dracula at first, but then I realized it was more than that. I'm gonna bring a few arguments as to why I think that it might be a lot more well documented.

Dracula was based on the real Romanian Emperor Vlad the Impaler, a violent leader who used to stake people alive.

These creatures, to me, seem to be tied to these flags, and honestly this imagine immediately made me think of Vlad the Impaler's gruesome history. He was such a cruel man that the people back then used to think he was feeding off of the blood of people, and that's why he was so eager to kill.

However!! Before these concepts really set into the Romanian folklore, 'vampires' (the correct name is actually strigoi) were the souls of people (dead or alive) turned evil, that would come to haunt people.

"The evil dead committed always returns to the person who committed it"

Romanian folklore followed this rule as well, up to a certain point, as it was said that people who weren't allowed into Zalmoxis's (A god) kingdom after death would come back to haunt the earth. (So basically sinners.)

On top of that it was also said that strigoi used to crawl out of the earth during a full moon,

And perhaps the most interesting part of all of the references, to me, is the idea of duality. Because Vlad the Impaler as an Emperor, ruthless as he was, was an excellent warrior and army commander, and has led the country to victory (although it was through very gruesome methods). Therefore, historians have been torn in between calling him a tyrant or a hero.

All in all, as Chan is also a leader, I think it makes sense to somewhat represent the duality of a person in command, the tension between goodwill and the means of it, if you will.

3. Final thoughts

Personally I think the most general interpretation I can make out of all I have collected is that he killed the dark side of his mind. Or wants to, at least, in order to let the kind, good one take charge. I see the English quote as a reference to the weight of responsibility, and how one's actions can affect others. That's why I consider it important to translate the Romanian into "my castle is a place of darkness" because then it becomes obvious that the MV symbolizes an inner battle. So, as gory as the video is, I think Chan is saying that he'll always choose kindness, no matter how complicated his mind is. 😁

[muxas-world2]

@rooooooossssssse Cause the ranch wasn’t the reason—I don’t even think Marc believes that. Since the doc, he barely brings it up. For me 2022 Marc is fun as hell when talking about Rosquez because he has this “move on but I’m setting the record straight” vibe. Really think the ranch incident and the whole infamous narrative abaut the race track record around it? That’s just Marc being a dick with his comments (as he shuld). The whole ranch’s thing whit context seem less important in terms of their right or fight cause , Marc didn’t even win that race, and there are multiple accounts of what really went down. Yes they were trying to kill one and another and went crazy but like for all acaunts and videos seems ther were having fun for example, Lacave (who I usually take with a grain of salt but he has a great rosquez article that is well documented and has good sources) wrote a pretty solid piece about the incident. According to that, Uccio was already mad at Marc and tried to badmouth him to Vale, saying, “He comes here with his mechanics, etc.” But even during the ranch race, Vale dismissed most of that drama.

I think what really happened is that Vale probably felt a bit weird seeing Marc show up with his own mechanic to what was supposed to be an amateur-style race. That’s all. The real fallout didn’t start there. It was the result of everything else that year the incidents, the escalating tension, and the whole story we already know from different perspectives.

In my opinion, Vale started to distance himself from Marc(and others people like idk his ex ) because, after the first test and early races in 2015, he realized that this was his year his last real shot to win a championship and finally claim that 10th title. By then, the Vale that Marc met in 2013–14, who was more relaxed and less focused, was kinda gone 2015 Vale was much different, and completely centered on the championship. That’s why he probably felt more vale more distant and acted the way he did like probably at the beginning it wasn’t just about Marc or the fears it was about the pressure of knowing this was his final chance to really get the 10th.