#lancelot sacrifices himself for merlin

[lit-in-thy-heart]

thinking about how it's almost worse that the true lancelot thanked merlin at the end of 4x09 because instead of having some comfort in thinking that the shade was only the image of lancelot, merlin has to live with the knowledge that his lancelot was there the entire time, locked away, and he did nothing to help him until it was too late

[gdn7-dollopole]

“No! No!” “… No…”

The small, chocked ‘no’ at the end is Merlin’s shock. This is Merlin’s despair portrayed in what I think is one of the most underrated scenes of the entire show.

Merlin has lost all hope of being seen for who he really is, the moment his only friend, Lancelot, who’s actually known Merlin completely, accepted him without ‘ifs’ and ‘buts’, dies in front of him, and Merlin is the only one who sees him one last time. He wouldn’t have screamed if the other knights were conscious, and we know why.

There is no place for his grief, and now, no one will ever know why Lancelot’s death hurts Merlin the most compared to everyone else.

Merlin’s glued to his place, unable to move, because he doesn’t know what to do, and he knows that there is nothing he can do, for the first time since ever, so he screams, but he doesn’t cry. His shout is as dry as his heart, that stops beating, soundless as the place Merlin finds himself in. Only his eyes tremble, searching for something Merlin knows isn’t there, and his face shakes, his steps slightly faltering back.

Merlin’s all alone.

Not even the Gods are with him anymore.

The shot at the end, widening the ruins, with the single thunder heard in the background, as Merlin stands there motionless, is a great metaphor of his utter solitude from that episode on.

[bellamyblakru]

bro the way merlin’s go-to way to show the people he loves how magic can be beautiful is with fire manipulation,,, im unwell.

[eddiebabygirldiaz]

lancelot

[iamhereandnotatall]

Question: in Merlin, do you think that Lancelot sacrificed himself because he promised Gwen he’d look after Arthur or because he knew Merlin was planning to sacrifice himself?

[chronicowboy]

i !! fucking !!! despise !!!! arthur and merlin's reunion in the darkest hour part two because like you can quite literally see all the things arthur is trying not to say !! he physically opens his mouth and stops himself at least twice !!!! do you understand? arthur watched his best, most trusted friend take a fatal spirit for him and then reluctantly released him to the charge of lancelot believing he'd never see him again, both because merlin would die and arthur would sacrifice himself, and then merlin came back ! whole and unharmed and alive !! and there's so much he could say, but all of it is too big and too scary so he just says good to see you merlin and pats him on the shoulder and - do you understand???

[bluheaven-adw]

Thank you tumblr for absolutely destroying image quality. Freaking wtf?

Some more Dark Excalibur AU

The Knighting of Steve Palchuk

We all agree that Steve needed a better arc than what RotT gave him. He deserved a chance to be a hero, a path that he started in Wizards before it fizzled out into being the comedic relief. Wizards set everyone up as the better generational mirrors to Camelot. Jim to Arthur, Claire to Morgana, Douxie to Merlin, Toby probably to Galahad, and Steve very obviously to Lancelot. I've said at the start that no one comes out of this AU unscathed, so while Steve gets the heroic redemption, it comes at a cost, one that pulls on that parallel.

RotT in the Dk-E still happens, I'm not letting everyone get their happily ever after at the end of Wizards. But I'll be damned if I end it with Toby and so many others dead, and Jim pushed into a timeline reset. You can thank Steve for that. It's because of Steve that Toby lives. Steve goes with Toby in the Taco truck, and it is Steve that yanks Toby out of the way of the collapsing debris. But Steve becomes pinned himself, resulting in the loss of his arm. An act of selflessness and bravery, valor and sacrifice, that earns him the title of First Knight of the Roundtable of New Camelot. An equal advisor, responsible for not only the protection of Camelot, and those Jim has claimed as his (which is everyone, human, troll, changeling, down to the last gnome), but also finding and training new knights, those who value all life and are willing to fight to protect it, and want to see the worlds of man and magic together in harmony instead of hate and fear.

And so we come to the Knighting of Steve Palchuk. This isn't just pomp and meaningless ceremony, this has true weight and meaning to both Jim and Steve. Jim pulls on Excalibur's magic, his voice resonating with ethereal power, creating a bond of trust and loyalty that goes both ways, only formed if given willingly. Knight to his King, King to Knight, both to the protection of all worlds and their peoples. Jim's eyes light up in tandem with the blade as the power of Excalibur and Nimue courses through him, flames licking along the blade's edge and into Steve. Steve's armor reflecting this bond as the magic burns through him.

And like Lancelot, Steve will get a fully functional prosthetic arm. There will be hardship, adapting to this new reality. But Steve has become a hero. A man of courage... far from his highscool self. A survivor, who will fight with everything he has.

Rise now, Sir Steve, First Knight of the Roundtable and New Camelot.

Closeups below

Notes: some of the descriptive wording around the ceremony itself came from a discussion about Jim using Excalibur for the knighting, and are used with permission of Sakon76, who is a much better writer than I.

Expect more if Steve's story at a later time.

[ramblings-of-a-chaotic-neutral]

Hello everyone! With me focusing on the "Archeologist Merlin" fic on ao3, it's been a while since I posted an au idea! It's good to be back!

Since an au featuring Lancelot won the last poll, here's my Lancelot au that I tried to make somewhat lighthearted, but it ended up being angsty instead. I hope you enjoy this au idea! :D

PS: For optimal reading conditions, go listen to Hozier's song "Like Real People Do", and then come back here. Trust me, it'll be worth it.

This au takes place in the middle of season 4, picking up right after the episode "Servant of Two Masters", which means that "Lancelot du Lac" hasn't happened yet. At that point, Lancelot had died by sacrificing himself to the veil, and everyone believes that he will stay dead. However, while Merlin was in Morgana's hut to kill the fomorroh that she had stuck in his neck, a book on Morgana's shelf caught his eye. He could feel the power oozing from the book, which was drenched in dark magic. Merlin, knowing that Morgana would absolutely be up to no good with such a powerful book dripping with dark magic, steals the book from her hut before killing the fomorroh. To Merlin, taking the book means that Morgana has one less weapon to attack Camelot with, and he would take any advantage that he could get against Morgana.

Merlin was so focused on killing the fomorroh and getting the dark book away from Morgana that he didn't even see the title of the book that he had stolen until he was back in his room in Camelot. As he prepared to hide the dark book underneath a floorboard in his room, he took a peek at the title of the book for the first time: The Arcane Secrets of Necromancy and Thralls.

Yikes. No wonder the book was dripping with dark magic, if that's what it was about. As Merlin hastily dropped the book down on his bed to free up his hands to pry up the floorboard, he noticed that the book had fallen open to a marked page. Merlin sucked in a breath as he recognized Morgana's handwriting on the page, making notes on one particular spell. As much as he wanted nothing to do with such dark magics, Merlin couldn't pass up the opportunity to learn more about Morgana's plans. He could finally be one step ahead of her!

Merlin hesitantly picked up the book and started reading from the marked page. The page itself detailed the ways a powerful sorcerer could raise a dead soul without having access to the deceased person's body and bend that soul to their will. A violent shiver went down Merlin's spine as he read more. These spells and rituals were horrible and cruel, and it seemed like Morgana had every intention of utilizing them against her enemies. Merlin didn't even want to imagine what awful things Morgana wanted to do with these spells, who she wanted to raise from the dead and torture forevermore.

As Merlin turned the page though, he saw something that immediately drew his attention: a ritual that claimed that it could bring someone back to life with their soul intact and not in any pain. Merlin was frozen as soon as he saw it, staring numbly at the page. Could it even be possible? The ritual claimed that, with an animal sacrifice and enough power on the sorcerer's part, the Old Religion's laws would accept the resurrection of the subject without any human's life being taken in return.

The festering pain in his chest, which had been present since Lancelot's death at the hands of the veil and his heart had felt like it had been torn from his body, throbbed once more. Could he... could he actually do it? Could he truly bring Lancelot back as himself, have his dearest friend, his pillar of support, by his side once more?

As soon as that idea had slithered into his head, Merlin's mind refused to let go of it. It followed him everywhere over the following days, never once leaving him alone, until one day he found himself gathering the ingredients for the ritual.

He had to do it. He owed it to Lancelot, who had sacrificed himself not for Arthur, but for him. If there was even the slightest chance of truly bringing Lancelot back, he had to take that risk.

The ritual itself was complicated, but not impossible, certainly not for Emrys. He had to draw a summoning circle on the forest floor under a lightless new moon, place some of Lancelot's belongings in the circle, of which he chose Lancelot's journals and his prized dagger, and then kill the rabbit he had brought as the sacrifice, collect its lifeblood in a blessed chalice, and finally enchant the blood itself and spill it over Lancelot's belongings in the circle.

Merlin could feel the power of the ritual buzzing around the forest as he performed it, but it didn't frighten him, because he could feel it working. As soon as he poured the rabbit's enchanted blood over the journal and dagger, the circle around him started glowing with a harsh light, urging Merlin on. After the chalice was emptied of blood, Merlin started chanting the final spells of the ritual: one to summon Lancelot's intact and healed body, another to draw Lancelot's soul out of Avalon, and a final spell to merge his body and soul, which would leave Lancelot wholly alive and himself again.

Merlin's heart leapt up to his throat as the first spell succeeded, revealing Lancelot's body, still clad in the same cape and armor that he had worn when he walked into the veil. The mere sight of his friend had Merlin faltering, but he needed to continue through the whole ritual. The second spell summoned a glowing blue mist, which sparkled in the light of the circle and hovered over Lancelot's prone form. Merlin felt strangely comforted at the sight of the mist, and he realized with a gasp that the mist itself must be Lancelot's soul, awaiting his return to his body.

At last, all of the pieces were in place, and Merlin performed the final spell: rebinding Lancelot's soul into his body. The spell itself required an immense amount of power, but Merlin could both feel and see that it was working! Lancelot's soul was slowly disappearing into his body. He was almost there!

With the last incantation, Merlin staggered backwards, feeling thoroughly drained from performing such powerful magic. However, his exhaustion melted away into excitement as Lancelot opened his eyes and sat up, looking around.

"Lancelot! You're back!"

Merlin launched himself forwards towards his friend, his joy almost overwhelming. He crashed into Lancelot's side and wrapped him in the tightest hug he could manage.

"What were you thinking, going into the veil?! I thought you'd be gone forever! But enough of that, we need to get you back to Camelot!"

Merlin urged his friend, who still looked rather dazed and disoriented, up to his feet. Lancelot's confusion was petty understandable, Merlin could only imagine how confusing it must have been to suddenly return to the living!

"Lancelot, how are you feeling? You aren't hurt, are you?"

Merlin waited with baited breath as Lancelot opened and closed his mouth a few times, as if trying to get used to having a mouth again. Finally, after several agonizing minutes of silence, Lancelot spoke, his voice rough.

"Mer... Merlin. My... my..."

"Your what, Lancelot? What do you need? Whatever it is, I'm sure that I could get it for you!"

Merlin smiled encouragingly at Lancelot, still helping him stay upright. He waited patiently for Lancelot to find whatever words he was looking for.

"My... my lord. I am at your command."

Merlin's heart dropped to his stomach as Lancelot dropped to his knees, kneeling before Merlin just as he did when he pledged his fealty as a knight to Arthur.

"Lancelot, what are you doing? Get up!"

Lancelot, with a sickening level of obedience, immediately rose to his feet, awaiting further commands. Merlin reeled backwards, away from Lancelot, and doubled over, feeling nauseous. What had he done?

Why had this happened?! He knew that the ritual had worked, he could feel it when Lancelot's soul reentered his body, so how was Lancelot devoid of his own will? What had gone wrong?!

As Merlin spent several minutes bowled over, trying to keep himself from hurling up his dinner all over the ground, a wolf howled in the distance, shocking Merlin back into reality. He took a deep breath and glanced back over to where Lancelot was still standing, wearing a terrifyingly blank expression.

He would fix this. He had to. But right now, they needed to get to safety before they could come up with any plan going forward. Swallowing thickly, Merlin called out to Lancelot.

"Come on, we need to get back to Camelot. Gaius might be able to help us fix whatever's gone wrong with the ritual."

Lancelot nodded without hesitation, and they both set back on the trail towards Camelot. It was slightly harder for Merlin to sneak into the castle with another person with him, but he was able to make it work. Eventually, they made it to Gaius's chambers, who jolted awake at the sound of his door slamming open.

Gaius's annoyance at his rude awakening was terrifying enough for Merlin, but it was completely overshadowed at his fury towards Merlin for performing a necromancy ritual.

"How could you be so stupid?! Of course a ritual from that tome would bring him back as your thrall! Even if he's fully healed and has his soul and all of his memories, he's now bound by your will! Any subject of necromancy sees the magic user who raised them from the dead as their god, regardless of the spell or ritual used!"

A fresh wave of dread and guilt threatened to drown Merlin.

"So, there's no way fully bring him back? No matter what I try, he'll never come back as himself again?"

Gaius slowly shook his head, breaking Merlin's last shards of fragile hope.

Lancelot, on his end, was initially very, very confused. One moment he was floating through an endless darkness, and the next he was laying on the ground in the middle of a glowing circle in the forest.

He looked around, and there he was. Merlin, standing at the edge of the circle. Lancelot smiled, glad beyond words to see his friend again, to know that his sacrifice wasn't in vain

Still, there was some odd, foreign feeling bubbling up inside of him at the sight of Merlin. But he didn't have long to ponder those feelings before Merlin was suddenly wrapping his arms around him, hugging him tightly.

It wasn't until Merlin had helped him to his unsteady feet that the foreign feeling pushed to the surface, taking control of his limbs. The thing taking over was him, but it wasn't him, but it felt like the most natural thing in the world to both him and whatever was controlling him to fall to his knees and pledge his fealty to Merlin, as if there was ever a doubt where his devotion lay.

The trip back to Camelot was a blur to Lancelot, feeling like he was both in control of himself and under the control of something else, but he didn't fight against it. No, whatever was now inhabiting his body alongside him seemed to be working with him, not against him.

Despite Merlin's panic and the unknown entity that was now in his mind, Lancelot thoroughly enjoyed the walk back to Camelot. He never thought that he'd enjoy the simply pleasures that came with having a corporeal body again, so he enjoyed everything from feeling the dirt under his boots to the wind on his face.

When they reached Gaius's chamber though, and he revealed the true consequences of Merlin's efforts to bring him back from the dead. Panic, horror, and betrayal washed over Lancelot in a split second, but those feelings dissipated as soon they appeared.

While Lancelot could chalk up his immediate forgiveness towards Merlin as the work of the foreign entity that now resided within his body, Lancelot knew deep down, in a place in his heart where the entity couldn't touch, that his feelings of forgiveness and acceptance towards Merlin was his and his alone.

Because the truth was that, even before Lancelot stepped into the veil, there wasn't anything he wouldn't do for Merlin.

And this post is getting too long, so I'll cut it off there! From here, the au focuses on people's reactions to Lancelot's return and Merlin's tremendous amounts of guilt for what he's done to Lancelot. Lancelot has some days where he's pretty much his old self again, and other days where he's deeper under the thrall's control.

Because everyone can see the very disturbing sight of Lancelot under the power of the thrall, everyone in the castle (except for Merlin and Gaius) believes that Lancelot was resurrected by an evil sorcerer and enchanted by him to try to destroy Camelot, but they also believe that he's valiantly beating back the sorcerer's enchantment with the power of sheer willpower and friendship and is slowly getting better.

It breaks everyone's heart to see Lancelot's will robbed of him, but it hits especially hard for Gwen, Arthur, and the knights to see the strongest, most noble man they know have to fight every single day for his own free will. Merlin, meanwhile, vows never to give Lancelot any orders, as he will not stoop so low as to bend his dearest friend to his will, but even despite not explicitly giving Lancelot orders, the thrall still sometimes takes over his friend and seeks him out. The only order he ever gives the thrall is to just do whatever Lancelot wants to do, but even that sometimes doesn't work and the thrall just stands there, looking at him blankly.

Well, that's enough angst for today! Let me know if you'd like to see a continuation of this au! Until next time!

And as always, thank you for reading through my ramblings! :D

[theconstantsidekick]

He’s crouched on the ground, cradling Merlin’s lifeless body in his arms, selfishly hogging him all for himself. The Knights are gathered around him, stuck to their spots in silence and no one tries to relieve Merlin of him. They, too, have lost a friend. He can see it in the devastation on Gwaine’s eyes and the tears streaming down Lancelot’s face. They have lost a friend, too. But none of them deny Arthur his selfishness. They don’t step forward to cry over their friend, they let Arthur keep him close to his chest. They let Arthur hold onto him for dear life. Uther has been thwarted, their enemies have been defeated, the world has been saved.  But selfishly Arthur would willingly— happily trade all of that away to have Merlin back. He’d trade away anything and everything to just have Merlin open his eyes, give him a sloppy smile and call him a dollophead. Is this how you felt? He wonders. Is this how you felt when you lost me?   He hugs Merlin closer, whispering pleas against the skin of his damp forehead, for him to open his eyes, just once . Merlin, please. Just once. Stay with me.   Arthur finally understands why Merlin’s heart had been so marred by darkness. If this is how he’d felt, even a fraction of this—this piercing, unbearably heavy desolation when he’d lost Arthur…  Then it’s a testament to Merlin's character, that he never razed the world to ash—despite having every reason to, despite having the power to do so. If Arthur were even half as powerful as Merlin, he would have. He would have turned the word to ash and dust, because what the fuck is the point of living in a world without his sorcerer? What is the point of a world without Merlin, at all? Better to let it burn. Better for there to not be a world at all if Merlin isn’t in it. This world didn’t deserve Merlin’s sacrifice… But Merlin hadn’t sacrificed himself for the world, had he? He’d done it for Arthur.

[theroundbartable]

What do you think are Merlin and Arthur’s greatest personality strengths and weaknesses? Why? What do you love about their dynamic?

OOoh... interesting question.

Arthur Pendragon:

Arthur's positive traits, his strengths, are also his weaknesses. He questions everything. He tries to see the good in people and tries to do right by them. It is kind of why he's such a resetting character. Because every time he reaches out to something, like magic, he gets proven otherwise. Yet, he can't NOT question it. He's trusting and forgiving and yet, he's the character who has most often been deceived, lied to and actively betrayed. In a strange way, this behavior makes him extraordinary. He has trust issues, in the end, but he still offers his trust to his knights and especially to Merlin. In a way, he tends to overlook the bad things people did because he values their positive traits more (like with Agravaine).

And of course, he cares more about his kingdom than himself. His kingdom is even more important to him than his father or any of the people who's love he craves.

Other weaknesses of his are obviously that he can't do basic stuff like brush his hair or cook. And I'm pretty sure he's somehow cursed that all these magic events happen around him.

Another is his self worth. He sees worth in everyone else but never in himself. His life is important only to protect Camelot. His life belongs to his people and he really does believe that. It's not that he thinks he's worthless, it's that he misinterprets it and lives as a breathing sacrifice.

Merlin:

Merlin's strength is his confidence and his faith. From the moment we first see him, he's able to face one of the most powerful people in the world and not back down, even though he knows he has to hide his magic.

He is brave and selfless. In the sense that he doesn't care about his own feelings and life as much as about others, especially Arthur. And of course, he hates conflict.

Merlin is NOT trusting. Not the way Arthur is. Merlin trusts people he has seen do good in action. He does NOT trust people he doesn't know, and in some cases, even his friends. Best example for this part is Lancelot's shade, whom Merlin almost immediately suspected. I think, in a way, he seems more naive and trusting to us because for us this is fiction and just a show. But to Merlin, it is significant that some stuck up noble saves his life without question, or that someone is willing to keep his magic secret for Merlin's sake, or that the dragon helps him find his purpose and helps him to better Camelot. That is why Merlin's trust is RELIABLE, while Arthur's is not. And that is why Arthur trusts Merlin's instincts. I think Arthur knows that Merlin has a better hunch for people's true intentions than he does. It is just that after a while, he thinks he's learned from previous mistakes and he doesn't want to be so bad at it, when HE'S the one who should know, after being betrayed so many times, while Merlin is JUST a servant with no such history (that he knows of).

Their dynamic:

How could I start this part other than with 'they are two sides of the same coin'. And I think it's really fucked up because imagine a coin with a person on each side. They would NEVER be able to ever fully see each other.

Imagine that. I think, Arthur's side is the one with the number on it that tells him exactly what his worth is, where he's supposed to be, supposed to go, what he can be exchanged for.

On the other side is Merlin who is the side that talks about where he's from, what his traditions are, etc.

Merlin has to learn his self worth through the storyline, Arthur needs to learn the traditions and where he is from and what he is truly fighting for. That's kind of why I love the metaphor.

It also means that Arthur can never truly know who Merlin is unless Merlin tells him. Can't know magic, can't know his own background and the circumstances of his birth.

And Merlin can never truly see how important he is to the kingdom. He only knows he's tied to Arthur and that SOMEDAY it will be better. That he's already reached his destiny doesn't even occurr to him.

It makes me wonder what it means when Arthur dies, in relation to this metaphor. Is the side blank now? Has the coin simply been flipped and now Merlin is at the front? What does it mean???

Anyway. What else I love about their dynamic is how intimate it is. I'll say it as I always do, I think Gwen is the better queen and makes more sense to marry Arthur since they both see only the future of the kingdom. But that is the point. Their relationship is public and a symbol of peace. Merlin's and Arthur's shared destiny is always private, always hidden behind layers of lies. Even when they finally share their true feelings, it remains intimate and private. When they are together, they are focused on themselves and their soulbond.

Where Gwen and Arthur discuss the future of the kingdom and what to do with their people, Merlin is personal reassurance for Arthur.

Here are two example scenes that shall make this more clear.

In the episode where Arthur is meant to marry Elena, he asks Merlin what he thinks about the arranged marriage. And Merlin goes on a rant to tell Arthur that his feelings matter. That being emotionally available, by choosing himself and who he loves, he WILL be a better king. In Merlin's rant, Arthur's happiness comes fist. The kingdom, second. Even though they are clearly interconnected.

Arthur had a conversation with Gwen about the marriage beforehand and Gwen accepted his responsibility to marry for the better of the kingdom, putting CAMELOT first. While promising him that he can be happy with his wife too. Even if she's not what he wants at first, he can grow to love her.

Neither of those are bad things. As I said before, Arwen makes sense and MORE sense for the kingdom. But Arthur and Merlin are more private and intimate and basically soulmates. Romance aside, this is what I think makes their dynamic so fascinating to me. It is friendship, a deep emotional bond that often times goes beyond normal friendship. (Not necessarily romantic, but definitely deeper than best friends.)

There is more I love but I don't want to spam the tumblr. Lol. Thank you for the question, anon :)

[angelynmoon]

What if, instead of Merlin or Arthur or Morgana or Lancelot going back in time to fix things instead it's Gwaine, caught in a time loop, everytime he dies he ends up back in that tavern that he first met Merlin in.

--

The first time he meets Merlin, the very first time he still choses to fight with them, he looks into Merlin's confused blue eyes as he introduces himself and knows his life is forever changed.

Gwaine won't say it was love at first sight but it was something similar, a moment where it felt like the world fell into place, 'oh, there you are,' he remembered thinking, 'I've been looking for you.'

And that was every reason why he kept answering Merlin's call to help, he couldn't help it, it was nice knowing that he was Merlin's first choice to help, even if it was for Arthur.

The first time, that very first time, he didn't know about Merlin's magic, didn't know what he did to protect them, the sacrifices Merlin had made.

That first time Gwaine survived Arthur's death and Merlin's execution for having magic when he returned to tell Guinevere of Arthur's death. She couldn't pardon Merlin, the council overruled her and Merlin Burned.

Gwaine had stayed for Guinevere and Leon, to keep her safe as she worked to repeal the ban on Magic, for Merlin, for Morgana and all the innocents that had died for the anger and grief of one man.

Gwaine had died soon after, drinking poison slipped into Guinevere's goblet, choking and gasping as Leon and Percival had searched to capture the assassin Gwaine hadn't minded dying in his Queen's lap, held in her arms as she begged him to stay awake.

No, Gwaine hadn't minded dying, at least he'd get to see Merlin again.

Gwaine had woken in that dark little tavern he'd first met Merlin in, it'd been confusing but Gwaine hadn't minded that either, he got to relive finding Merlin, making him blush, falling in love with him all over again and getting him to fall in love with him back.

Merlin's sweet kisses made every heartbreak worth it.

The first few times, Gwaine didn't change anything, still thinking it was a weird afterlife, but eventually he couldn't bare to watch Merlin Burn again, threw himself on the pyre to go with him and learned that no matter how he died he'd end up in that no name tavern.

It wasn't always the same time that Merlin and Arthur would be there, sometimes it was years earlier, sometimes weeks, sometimes it was days, but it was always that same tavern where his life was forever changed.

There were times he ran from the tavern as soon as possible, he wasn't proud of it, but he couldn't fall in love just to watch Merlin Burn.

Gwaine would find Merlin eventually anyway, if not in the Perilous Lands, then he'd find him in the fighting ring while he looked for the Cup of Life.

Sometimes he'd meet Lancelot first and when Lancelot answered Merlin's call Gwaine would follow.

He fell for Merlin everytime, couldn't help it, he could no more stop loving Merlin than he could change Destiny.

He'd tried.

Sometimes he'd find Morgana and behead her without guilt, he'd burn her body like Merlin's had burned so many times and scatter her ashes far and wide, but nothing changed, in the lives that Gwaine killed Morgana, Mordred would take her place, in the lives Gwaine killed Mordred as a child, Merlin always Burned before they met.

In the few lives that Gwaine chose to behead King Uther before Morgana and Morgause could invade Camelot it was Gwaine that Burned, he didn't mind that so much, better him than Merlin.

Merlin never watched, always turned from the sight, those moments made Gwaine wonder if he felt the same loss as Gwaine did when the never had time to fall in love.

There was one life that Gwaine decided to kill Arthur instead and had been torn apart by Merlin's own Magic, he doesn't think Merlin meant to, not with the way the man had cradled him at the end as he died, that had been the first time Gwaine wondered how much Merlin had sacrificed for Arthur's life.

It wouldn't be the last.

He discovered one life that Lancelot knew about Merlin's Magic, that he knew Merlin intended to take Arthur's place to seal the Veil. Helped cover for Merlin when Lancelot was helping him with Magic Beasts and Sorcerers.

He never told Merlin he knew.

One life Gwaine chose to take Lancelot's place to seal the Veil.

The return to the Tavern was strange that time, it felt longer, colder.

But return he did, as he always did.

That life he proposed to Merlin instead of introducing himself, was shocked when Merlin said yes.

When he woke in Merlin's bed he'd kissed him and said he was still going to marry him if he was willing.

That life he'd stayed in Camelot from the first time, using his Noblity to avoid banishment, thankfully he and Merlin had already exchanged vows before Geoffry with Arthur as witness so Uthur could not stop him and Merlin from being together.

That life he died when Morgana wanted to set an example, that life Merlin had turned Camelot's castle into rubble and Morgana and Morgause into ash as Gwaine had bled out.

That life Gwaine had died cradled in the arms of the man he loved in so many lives as Uthur ordered his husband's execution, as Arthur tried to change Uthur's mind.

That life Gwaine had lived long enough to hear Merlin ask Lancelot to kill him with the sword that killed immortal men.

He did not live long enough to know if Lancelot did as asked.

After that, some lives Gwaine would seek Merlin out, he'd turn up in Ealdor and make a shy young Warlock fall in love with him, he never asked why the flowers he gave never wilted, and when he went off to Camelot, Gwaine would follow, would marry him in the quiet morning before they left Ealdor, Hunith smiling happily.

In those lives Gwaine told Merlin to share his secret with Morgana, to help her control herself, in those lives Merlin and Morgana stood together against Morgause, in those lives Magic was let free under Uther's rule and Morgana offered a child to them to raise, in those lives Merlin died an old man with grandchildren and the flowers never wilted in Camelot's castle.

In one life Gwaine went searching for Balinor instead if Merlin, he begged the man to share his knowledge with him, in that life Gwaine slayed the Great Dragon without remorse, a dragon's heart is on the right, not the left, Gwaine always remembered, and he took Merlin to meet his father in secret and watched as their relationship bloomed.

Why Gwaine returned to that Tavern when he died he never found out, there were no tales of such a thing happening, the Druids didn't know either and Uthur had burned so many books and the other Kingdoms had as well, even the Castle of The Fisher King held no answers for him.

But life after life he found himself finding Merlin, one day he'd find out how to break the curse of his family, one day he'd eventually live one last life with the man he loved, one day his line would be free, but for now, Gwaine wakes up in the Tavern where he met the man he Loved over a thousand lives.

"I'd like to see you try." Merlin snorted into his mug.

"You just had to open your big mouth, didn'tyou Merlin?" Arthur said.

And Gwaine, Gwaine got up to meet Destiny in a small, no account Tavern.

Maybe he'd propose to Merlin again instead of introducing himself.

--

A/n: just a little thought I had and demanded to be written.

You know for someone who reads mainly Arthur/Merlin, I never seem to write Arthur/Merlin.

[shepherds-of-haven]

Hi there! So I was wondering something, theres a scene in the TV show Merlin (I don't know if you've ever watched, if not and you want to watch it to get a better understanding just search up on google "TV show Merlin Lancelot sacrifice") in which Lancelot sacrifices himself to stop Merlin and Arthur sacrificing themselves. Now obviously, under the right circumstances, everyone in the Shepherds would do it for the MC, but my question is, what would be their reaction if the MC did it for them? Any stage of relationship is fine, your preference! Could also be an alternate AU if it makes it easier for you :) Have a lovely rest of your day/night!

Hiya, I've never seen Merlin, but I think you would enjoy checking out the #angst tag, as there are lots of scenarios involving the MC sacrificing themselves for the world or for their RO, the RO doing it, how the RO would react if MC were to die, and etc.! I hope that's helpful!

[ramblings-of-lola]

My thoughts on Merlin Season 4

@swans-chirping-in-the-distance @gay-for-zoya

Oddly enough, Lancelot's sacrifice didn't emotionally impact me that much. I'm not sure why, maybe because I never got too attached to him or because his sacrifice made sense for his character

I'm so happy there's another dragon!! But, I'm slightly worried for the next season with Morgana, since the white dragon healed her, I wonder if he'll align himself with her.

I loved when Merlin was able to age himself because he's so funny in that "disguise" as Dragoon

I'm really glad that Uther died because I hate him, but I was so sad for Arthur. And Merlin's healing spell backfiring because of Morgana was awful.

Lancelot being brought back to ruin Gwen and Arthur's relationship was so sad to watch. And seeing Merlin burn his body and say goodbye to him was also sad.

When it was revealed that Arthur led the raid on the Druid camp in the episode when Eylan was possessed, it just really put into perspective how Uther put his ruthlessness on Arthur at a young age. I can't imagine how hard that would be for Arthur as a teen.

The last two episodes where so good. I liked seeing Merlin be a bit ruthless and reveal who he is to Agravaine before killing him. It's not a side of Merlin that shown often.

Arthur and Morgana telling each other they are both like Uther was really interesting. These two siblings don't want to be like him, but they are to an extent. Morgana has Uther's hate and ruthlessness while Arthur has his father's loyalty to the laws of Camelot.

[chipinabag]

It's starts with a coin, they are rare in his time not because of the magic in the world, but because of the population of the world.(there is about 1 every 100.) he is given his first one when kilgharah tells him of his destiny. Of course when he asks he is only given a riddle as an answer. A riddle he figures out only after he is holding Arthur's dead body. He carries that one around his neck with a leather cord to keep it there.

A coin is floating over nimuah's body after she is struck by lightning, he often questions if it is because he killed her or because he masters the power of life and death. He collects it anyways.

A coin is around Cornelius Segan's neck with a gold chain when merlin fights him, he manages to grab it before he kills him.

Freya gives him one during her final moments with merlin.

His father gives him a coin with a silver chain, while he dies. Merlin now keeps that one on and arthur one day relizes where he got that chain but he doesn't asks questions he just gives merlin a silver chain and tells him (more like orders) to swap the leather cord for the silver one.

When he meets gwaine he noticed a silver chain around his neck with a crescent moon, a ring and a coin but he doesn't ask for it he is too distracted by saving gwaine's life. He never asks about it, but he does sorta eyes the chain every once in a while.

Lancelot is given one during his time with Percival but sadly gives merlin it when he relizes that he is going to sacrifice himself for merlin. He doesn't know why but it feels right to give it to merlin. He guesses it will help merlin with his destiny in the future.

Mordred gives him one when he becomes a knight hoping it will get him on merlin's good side. (It does not) later on when he is dying on the sandy planes of camlann he smirks at the thought of the coin he has given Emrys and when his fate lies ahead now that he has stabbed the once and future king.

A coin floats over morgana's dead body after merlin stabs her and arthur watches as the coin floats to merlin and merlin grabs it. "We are finally at peace." Again merlin doesn't know why he is given the coin, for killing a high priestess or because he has killed morgana and brought peace.

Arthur now relizes that he is going to die it his last moments with merlin. He manages to grab the chain around his neck and puts it in merlin's hand when he says "thank you". He doesn't know if it was because he was dying but it felt right and his body felt light as he closes his eyes.

Merlin now relizes what the coins mean and what kilgharah's riddles means.

Gaius gives him a coin after merlin comes back from avalon and has earned the title of court physician. That night Gaius passes in his sleep, merlin now carries that coin with his father's coin.

His mother said that she was given the coin when she gave birth to him. She gives it him as he holds her hand as she passes.

Percival gives him the necklace that gwaine wore right before he goes on a patrol mission. Merlin tries to give it back, begging him to take it back. Telling him he will die if gives him the necklace. Percival smiles and pulls him into a hug, "I know." He says into merlin's neck. Merlin was quiet after his tears stopped. He is silent during the knights death ceremony.

Leon and Gwen both died in their sleep both giving him a coin. Leon was given his after he was saved by the druids. Gwen was given by her brother before he died. She didn't relize she had it after she was released from morgana's spell. She cried over her brother that night with arthur to comfort her.

Merlin, now alone, leaves camelot and spends a couple of decades in his hut by the lake of avalon.

He tries to throw the coins into the lake but he wakes up wet and the coins where they had were previously.

He is mugged for them multiple times, but he wakes up alone, bloody and the coins in his pouch and around his neck.

When he burned he returned back from the ashes again with the coins.

As years go by he becomes anything that would get him close to people. Not because he wants to but because he has to. He needs the coins.

physician,

teacher,

Student,

painter ,

poet ,

lover,

whore,

robber,

cop,

Bank teller,

Book store owner,

Centuries has passed by and the coins are even more rare as before, over time they became more and more harder to find. Now not because of population but because of magic in the world. Now it maybe 1 in 5,000 people have a coin.

He had time and the magic (though not as strong as before) to help him achieve his goal.

Time passes he now only needs one more, one more to finally join his friends in avalon. One More and he can leave this world and move on.

The time has come and merlin has bumped into someone and he feels it. He feels the coin on this person. He looks up to apologize he stubbles back and lands on his ass.

This man. He has seen this man. In his dreams. In his nightmares reminding him of his failures. Of his destiny.  His other half.

"Watch where your going you clumsy idiot, do you know who I am?"

Merlin now confused and now exciting where this final life with this reincarnated arthur will take him, but he is excited.

"No, but I know that your a pompous prat!"

[garthofshayeris]

How do you think Mera would've reacted if Garth actually died during death of a prince?

Obviously, Mera cares deeply for Garth. I think, at the time of Death of a Prince, she mostly likely thought of him as Arthur’s kid brother; obviously they are incredibly close but I don’t think she (or Arthur) understood that they were his surrogate parents.

If Arthur killed Garth, as Manta intended, I don’t see him actually volunteering that information right away, if at all. That could be an incredibly cool story or underlying theme, very tell-tale heart or even play into the Garth-is-Lancelot thing with having a betrayal destroy Arthur’s kingdom (in the myth, Lancelot betrays Arthur but you know what I mean)

If I was Arthur and in my panic to save my son I killed my own sidekick, I might spin the story to Mera that Garth died while saving the baby, or that it was a sacrifice (never “he sacrificed himself” but perhaps “we must honor that sacrifice”?) in which case the entire kingdom, Mera included, would mourn him.

Maybe Manta reveals the truth, or someone else spills the tea to the people of Atlantis. And when Mera finds out, I think she would be absolutely devastated and probably take after her canon counterpart, leaving Arthur (perhaps with child in tow).

NOW, this assumes that Fate would allow Garth to die. The canon during Death of a Prince does not have any magical backstory for Garth, but it does have a story about a king who goes mad. Perhaps Garth did not die (Atlan intervention on the 90s lore, but even just magic or a good-hearted Idylist) and he suddenly has a complex about his biological and adoptive dad suddenly becoming murderous? I do not believe Garth had the capacity to become evil (he’s canonically pure of heart) but that could lean into a mysterious man of the shadows thing for him; a hermit (Merlin-like, even!) who follows Arthur around like a ghost.

Anyway. You asked about Mera so I will say again; if she did not know the true story, she would mourn him as a hero. If she knew the true story, she would be absolutely furious.

[eliounora]

arthur and the knights are going on a dangerous quest where he plans to sacrifice himself for the greater good. previous scene, gwen asks lancelot to look after arthur. after that, merlin says it's his duty to protect arthur. lancelot says he understands that "very well". with all these parallels here, my judgement of this is.... gay