#it’s so stupid I feel like ppl will say ‘that is NOT how you should be learning about this stuff’ but like idk it’s kinda been working
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been asked if i’ll make a hamlet version of my uquiz and truly like i get why you’d want me to do that but why would i do that when rosencrantz & guildenstern are dead exists
#if you haven’t seen it go watch it it rules#& tackles a lot of the same themes of fate and destiny that my quiz does#in more serious reasons: idk i feel like the impact of the hamlet one would be lessened? cause ppl already know that’s a tragedy#i mean ppl know that about r&j too but yknow it’s seen sorta as a corny stupid thing sometimes so the twist catches you off guard#no one misunderstands hamlet to be a beautiful romance or asks ‘well why didnt he check to see if ophelia was REALLY dead’#(god someone ask me about one of those common r&j complaints i have answers prepared for all of em)#and also straight up i would need to reread hamlet to do that lol. i’ve only read it once or twice a while ago. r&j i’ve read… idk#like… maybe 15 times if i had to guess? and these are the only shakespeare works i’ve actually read lol#well. plays. i’ve read some sonnets but yknow. i should read midsummer nights & othello & [redacted] & twelfth night yknow#anyway yeah it’s a r&j special interest not shakespeare in general#tho i would genuinely say tragedies are a special interest in and of themselves given how like. almost everything i’m into is one#crazwaz posted
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prefacing this by saying im fine and its whatever and im mostly numb to it. but it kinda fucking sucks that being gaslit about my own sexuality leads to… doubting my own sexuality lol!
#purrs#just went to my first ever lavender graduation ceremony and had a convo w my dad after that touched on the EXACT horrors lol like i need to#learn to not bring this shit up around my parents bc they’re just gonna say the same things. and also it doesn’t matter bc idc about labels#and (to quote ricky) it’s a conversation not a constant. but like fucking hell. just bc ive never ‘’’’’’been with anybody’’’’’’ doesn’t#mean that i can’t know im not straight. the HORRIFIC psychic damage that did to me 5 years ago this month. the way i can’t think about#sexuality or being part of the lgbtq community since and like before then when that happened i thought i was a lesbian and was gonna try to#get involved with the school lgbtq student union . like it’s so ficking stupid and sad. and i can’t trust myself anymore i can’t tell if#anything ive ever felt for anyone is actually real bc according to my (straight and biphobic) parents ‘crushes don’t count’ and i haven’t#even had a crush in months anyway and yeah ive never ‘been with’ anybody. but like god damn. you DO NOT get to tell me i have to call myself#questioning. yeah im questioning but only i can call it that and only if i want to. i get to know me. i get to call me what i am. which also#means i get to work through the years of psychic damage this thread of conversation coming from my own parents has done to me#but i own that. i want to own that. ive had the feelings i have had. maybe they were wrong and misplaced and maybe there are other ways to#interpret them like me jus t having projection issues and whatever. but they were real to me and are real to me and shape how i show up#every single day. i get to know myself. i get to call myself what i am. even though you’re my parents you don’t get to tell me that. and you#should be sorry for how fucked in the head this has made me and how cut off i have become from other people who have felt what i have felt#and from the parts of myself that felt and hurt and loved. like lolllll. i was in a good mood and then that happened and now my heart hurts.#delete later#like i don’t talk abt this shit anymore for a reason 🤪✌️ i am not involved in lgbtq groups or communities online or offline for a reason 🤪✌️#and it’s yet another manifestation of impostor syndrome too like. ppl wonder why im like this…. there is a very good reason 💖
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Oh brother
#I hate stupid bitches so much bro#this video was made in relation to the brick assault on that woman and this bitch here is comparing the value of women to dirt/rocks on the#road to diamonds in a jewelry store basically saying that some women aren’t worth being protected#and that it’s ridiculous to be angry at BM for not risking their lives for BW etc etc#bro what#she kept on talking about how she listens to her bothers and father about not going getting into situations with men and I’m like#I guess she just feels comfortable saying all of this bullshit because she feels like she has that protective system but not all women don’t#even their own families are their abusers most of the time what the fuck is she even talking about#‘you wouldn’t be in this situation anyway if you would just listen to men-‘#girl fucking bye#I don’t expect a lot from this specific lane of bw at all these are some fucking birds#it’s always sad to see other BW run to the rescue of abusive BM while shaming other BW who’ve been abused by these pieces of doo doo#it’s awful like we will never be free#the only ppl agreeing with this clown were ding ding ding of course BM of course#rambling#this video will make your brain turn to slush it isn’t even worth watching#just spreading harmful rhetoric while absolving BM of their violence against BW as per usual#she opens up the video by saying that protection comes with a little bit of sacrifice so that should tell you all that you’ll need to know#about this idiot#the internalized self-hatred of a BW in full bloom right here bro#fucking sad
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One thing you need to know about me is that I will never reblog anything that has the addition "this should be reblogged by everyone" or anything of the like.
#unless it's like#really funny and not a guilt trippy kind of bullshit#i can agree 130% with a post and then see that comment and I'm like#yeah no. go fuck yourself.#(this point has been made so many times but people don't get why it's annoying apparently. people don't dislike your stupid addition#because they secretly disagree with the post but because now it seems like some weird social obligation to rb is#rb this or you're a bad person is a clever marketing strategy but it's quite stupid because it weakens the original point#oh you're saying everyone should rb this? well now it looks like the ppl rbing actually just do it out of some feeling#of social obligation. not because they really want to but because they want to fulfill the arbitrary standards you just made up for being#a good person#and don't get me wrong most certainly are most people rb these posts still out of agreement with the original statement#but it's still annoying as fuck and also you'd think ppl would know by now that people don't generally like being told what to do#so my hypothesis is (and i won't do any research to prove or disprove it (i might be very wrong and most people don't mind obviously)) bjt#but my hypothesis is that people who originally agree with the post but have a strong desire of being free in their choices#won't actually end up rbing bc it's just not that free of a choice anymore bc you just had to make it 'obligatory' but we all know#nothing is obligatory on a stupid webbed site like this so they scroll past while people who maybe would have scrolled past now feel#like they might actually be a bad person if they don't do as it says but without actually caring about the content. which diminishes#the positivity the post originally was supposed to spread bc how do you tell ppl actually mean it now when they rb these things#anyway. am i ranting about something completely asinine phenomenon on tumblr.com? yes.#would it be better to not dedicate my time and energy into making a 'hate' post? absolutely. but that will never stop me from doing so#(also works for things like 'you guys HAVE to do xyz [for your (mental) health/etc]'. literally the best advice phrased like this#is counterproductive. post something that doesn't sound like you're judging everyone who does otherwise and maybe ppl will be more inclined#to believe whatever your point or statement is)#ok I'll stop#shut up amy#void screams
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why do ppl call shark3ozero a debate bro when like. I hardly ever see him actually debate anyone..? usually he’s just talking about current events?? is talking to vaush like twice really enough for ppls black and white thinking to be triggered about ppl????
#talk to vaush once immediatly gets labeled debate bro rip#Anyone Who Has Ever Talked To Vaush Is Problematic#dawg if thats true plenty of your favorite video essayists should be labeled problematic by you lol#admit you have a bias :/#i dont even like vaush but come on.#i think hating vaush and not wanting to be like vaush is a bad starting point for what kind of politics you hold#like thats deeply stupid. like you should form your political opinions based on how you FEEL inside not based on how much you hate certain#external people. bc at some point they're gonna say something you actually agree w but you'll be so blinded by your hate of them that#you'll either choose to heavily misinterpret it or do a complete 180 and decide that belief is bad now.#'w-well i only like the people who come on who disagree with him#!!' thats not fuckin true.#1. the leftists who come on and disagree with him he's USUALLY able to find some sort of agreement with someone about whatever#unless THEY'RE specifically being stubborn and pretending they dont believe something just bc vaush said he believes it and they hate him#so much and agreeing with him would make them look weak to their chat or whatever#that yeah. so no if you've actually ever seen his discussions w ppl YOU like who he disagrees with most of the time they're agreeing about#other shit.#2. plenty of the people who come on who disagree with vaush are nazis. also. because they dont like his leftism. you sure you only#like the ppl who disagree w him?#i hate defending him so much. like theres so much i dont even like about him now but the most frustrating things is ppl making up#reasons to hate him or full on getting all their info about him from neonazis who literally have an agenda to get rid of him#and so many of yall are often useless idiots for these types of neonazsis.
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currently thinking about how when i told my dad to tell my mother i would not be speaking to her until she apologised she just. straight up stopped even trying to contact me. like, not even a text. absolutely insane how much this woman refuses to admit that maybe she was wrong about how she handles some things. she cannot swallow her pride to even do this one really small basic show of respect. fucking mental.
#like…… i think she said ‘im sorry it came out rude’ right after it happened but. GIRL.#THAT IS NOT WHAT YOU SHOULD BE APOLOGISING FOR AND YOU FUCKING KNOW IT.#she knows full well that what she said was inappropriate invalidating triggering and insulting#AND that i have repeatedly asked her NOT to say it over the past few years.#and yet she just says ‘sorry it came out rude’???? like not ‘im sorry i said that’ not ‘i was wrong and insulting and disrespectful of ur#boundries that youve had in place for years now’#and like she keeps doing this again and again and again with so many fucking things#she just has no respect for my mental health issues or who i am or like just me as a person#its near constant. shes always subtly calling me dramatic and ridiculous and telling me that im stupid and that its all my fault#but the moment i try to bring up anything like this to her just just yells#and goes ‘oh i get it im a horrible mum well i tried my best and i put in so much work’ ect ect ect#like i was sharing with her biosocial theory and how i think that bcause we have never different ways of regulating out emotions#it meant i was never taught to do it properly/in a way that works for me and that combined with my autism and my trauma likely led to my bpd#and when i tried to explain that it wasnt anyones fault its just that we’re different ppl and there was no way she couldve knows#she was like ‘ohhhh so its MY fault? hm? I’M the reason youre like this!?’#and she looks down on me so fucking much for my ed and for sh and really just for any symptoms i show bc#why cant i deal with things properly like HER.#idk its so exhausting like i just want a proper apology from my own fucking mother but no.#shes doing the exact same thing that she berates and mocks and looks down on me for.#ugh i feel like screaming
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“You’re gonna die one day you’re gonna die in that stupid costume !!!” But it’s just me pointing at myself in the mirror with the voices of everyone and myself propelling it all
#it’s interesting that ppl always say stuff like that to me or exhibit concern which first of all fuck you and leave me alone#second of all like if you’re gonna act concerned actually show it properly instead of being some annoying fly buzzing around#I give ppl precisely the things I need to feel better yet they waltz around acting deaf dumb AND blind as to what I need whilst continuousl#reiterating the same stupid rhetoric of you should take care of urself and u should get some help#ykw like atp what will get into your thick skulls like do you WANT me to begin telling you abt how I always torture myself just so my#seemingly already concerning situation apparently can lead to you taking pro active steps ? because believe ME idgaf if I end up dead bc of#my habits but clearly ppl who want to comment on it at least act like they do#so go and freaking do something abt it#I’ve never seen a more hopeless population compared to the ppl in situated around#like I give you the tools and answers to what I need right in your hands#if you wish to comment abt how poorly I treat myself then don’t comment and do nothing abt it#don’t waste my time with that useless irritating talk#do something abt it. if you actually don’t care that’s totally fine bc idec myself either but I don’t want to hear a PEEP out of anyone#it’s annoying and a waste of breath bc in truth I don’t care abt the outcome of my actions towards myself#believe ME nobody knows the extents to which I treat myself and I conceal that purposely given how sensitive ppl are about that sort of thi#but do NOT act stupid and annoying around me by being all talk no action … there’s a very obvious reason why I say so often that I hatefool#dora daily
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my tags on that went on for so long i had to go back and edit them to fit tag limit and i still had to delete a bunch of them. Its the autism it literally is
#funerary practices and the afterlife and body disposal methods and just. grief and mourning in general r like. My bigggg autism thing i dont#talk abt it a lot bc 1 i just Dont shut up once i get going 2 a lot of ppl dont want to hear abt stuff like that which is fine. kicked pupp#expression. i just find it very very interesting to see how different ppl grieve and whats considered like. Right and wrong when it comes t#care of the body yk. bc like. most/every culture has their practices and anything outside of that feels wrong to them bc its like. yk its s#pivotal idr the exact anecdote/story but caitlin doughty mentioned it in one of her books where like. there were 2 groups and one cremated#their dead and the other practiced mortuary cannibalism and both viewed the other as barbaric and it rly shaped how i view it like. yk. its#rly something so personal where even when the way someone grieves makes you uncomfortable its like. you cant force someone to grieve in a#way thats palatable to you. yk. for a rly long time washing the body and being with the body after death was a rly important part of grief#in like. usamerican culture its only more recently that it became wayyy less common w the rise of funeral homes and stuff. and obv for many#ppl that wouldnt be comforting but i think it could be for a lot of ppl..#my personal belief on it is everyone should be allowed to grieve and dispose of the dead As they want and that should be like. yk. theres#the nebulous term of Desecration which is legally rly difficult to define there r a lot of states where the law is 'if it would outrage#normal family values' which is just so fucking stupid obviously like. whos family. bc every single person has a different view on whats#appropriate yk... IDK. i think as long as its relatively safe for the living and as long as its not like. Against the wishes of the decease#like. if someone says they want a burial and then theyre cremated (not out of necessity like 4 financial stuff) im like. yk. obv theyre dea#but i think its important to honor their last wishes... yk. and that should go for like. If someone wants an open pyre cremation that shoul#be available... if someone wants aquamation etc. IDK. etc. like. another thing is with embalming while i wish it werent De Facto ppl r#railroaded into it i entirely disagree w ppl who say it should be wiped out entirely like. there r environmental ramifications 4 sure and i#love for that to be more like. talked abt... but embalming is rly important to a lot of ppl and idt its right to shit all over that. idt it#necessary for every death i personally dont see the point of embalming for like. a peaceful death with a quick funeral and theyre getting#cremated after. but ik like. for a lot of black families embalming is very important for like. a reclamation esp in violent or traumatic#deaths its very important to have like. a funeral with a viewing. and i think thats something that shouldnt be taken away from anyone ever.#even like. ik this is controversial but extreme embalming w/ posing and stuff as long as thats what the decease wanted like. i think its#awesome !! i Dont agree w taking the corpses of the poor or disenfranchised to prop up for art pieces Personally but like. there r ppl who#want to be displayed like that like. riding their motorcycle one last time or ummm. that posthumous concert that happened. i get how it can#seem morbid or wtvr but like. the families r happy with that its what those ppl wanted and it like. its a celebration of their life and#their interests and i think thats super important. BASICALLY.#ok tag limits coming so im cutting myself off for sure this time. but wtvr. i hope this makes sense to anybody else sorry i rambled. im ver#passionate abt it KJBADKJBDKJ
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My favorite pastime: roleplaying characters and just making them soso weird and then pulling up the DSM-5 to try to diagnose them
#every time it’s like ‘did I invent a fake mental disorder or are these symptoms applicable to something’#unironically it’s been pretty helpful over the years in making me more aware of all the different kinds of mental illness and such out there#oftentimes I’ll see someone say they have a disorder and I’ll think ‘I remember researching that for my OC’ lol#HONESTLY roleplaying characters with certain issues has been SO helpful in keeping me open minded#and reassuring me that I’m not a horrible person once I started to have more issues like intrusive thoughts#when my intrusive thoughts started to get bad I remembered ‘my oc has those and nobody blames him for it’ then suddenly I was better LOL#it’s so stupid I feel like ppl will say ‘that is NOT how you should be learning about this stuff’ but like idk it’s kinda been working#it’s like how representation is important except I’m making the representation myself…? so… idk. but it inspires me to do research.#anyways I’m currently stumped on one of my characters and how to diagnose him. I’m beginning to think he perhaps experiences delusions.#but I’ll have to do more research.#I haven’t even begun my research so I’m sorry if I’m totally wrong.#also I’m aware many sources might be biased against certain illnesses and such. I already faced that problem searching NPD 😭 I always take#the things I see in top results with a grain of salt. I know people will say ‘talk to ppl who have these disorders!’ but like. how do I tell#them I want to try to diagnose a fictional character that I play. I mean I guess I’m curious anyways? good to know about all this stuff even#without it being applicable to anything personal. but like. can u rlly just say ‘explain ur mental disorder to me’ 😭
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Actually turning off anons cause like most of the time i get anons they dont provide context for asking questions and i dont understand whats going on. Im neurodivergent and if i dont have a whole thing of context i dont get whats going on sarrey. And if i dont get whats going on i take it as an attack even though i suppose its not always intended, im too stupid i cant tell the difference sarrey.
#lodia sayings#i have stupid bitch disorder terminal and it makes me uninteractable tbh.#socially is the main way i feel disabled bc i feel like i never get whats going on or what ppl are talking to me about (or if they do i don#care a lot of the time. when its like small talk at work or something but whatever.) so anyway i never know how to interact.#i read something online the other day that said that a way autism displays in children is if they dont know if they should say hi or hello#they get stuck and dont interact at all.#and you know what real and still relevant at almost 28 yrs old.#like.#today years old i still get anxiety from having to greet ppl bc idk if im gonna time it right etc. or if its appropriate. sometimes ppl#glare at me and i feel like i shouldnt even be speaking to them.n#those are interactions at my WORKPLACE.#hell world tbh i wish i didnt have to be self depending so i could quit social interactions at work#i was watching videos from this person whos autistic and they cant work bc their quality of life is too bad when they do and i was like yea#well theyre disabled for real meanwhile me no bc i can hold a job.#but i realized they had the 'choice' in a way bc they can depend on their partner which i cant. meanwhile if i quit work i just starve.#nevermind that i dont know how long i can do it and my quality of life is atrocious n have a breakdown about it everyweekend etc. so i gues#yea thats where im at rn idk what to do etc. this person cant even get disability aid what chance would i also have like lol#long tags#sarrey..#btw i welcome asks interactions etc from my mutuals are they are beloved and interact w me in a way i understand n i feel ok asking for#clarification if not.
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Batboys and reader doing the hear me out cake trend and reader pulls out a picture of Bruce when he was in his prime.
Apologies anon but this trend…Do not get me started on how misconstrued the phrase ‘hear me out’ is. I’ll rant about how a lot of ppl should look up the definition first. I’m very passionate about how butchered the trend is that every time I see one I can’t help but think ‘not a hear me out, try again or don’t to save my small remnants of sanity.’ I hate it so much.
Dick
Pouts.
‘My dad? Really?’ He’d ask you.
‘Yeah, what can I say he was a total hunk.’ You shrugged.
‘Was?!’ Dick replied, looking at you as though you had grown a second head. ‘What is he now then chopped liver? Do you not like older men?! Do they loose their charm the moment they have a few grey hairs and lines on their face?!’ He exclaims.
This wasn’t what you were expecting when doing this challenge because now you were being grilled by dick on whether you’ll still feel attractive to him when he himself gets old and grey.
‘I don’t have anything against older men dick, I just find your dad hot in this specific picture.’ You defended yourself and dick only puts his hands on your shoulders and gives them a firm squeeze as he presses his forehead against yours.
‘Sweetheart I don’t think you understand because what do you mean you find him hotter in the picture?! It’s Bruce the man is just naturally photogenic!’ Dick tells you. ‘You could’ve chosen a recent picture of Bruce and say the exact same thing.’
‘Eh, it’s not the same thing.’ You say and dick felt as though he might as well rip his hair from his head because what do you mean it’s not the same thing?! He was now more certain that you didn’t like older men if Bruce was only appealing to you in his youth, his supposed prime.
Needless to say the conversation diverted from the fact that you found his dad hot, to one where dick was trying to prove to himself that you just didn’t like older men/ silver foxes for whatever absurd reason.
Jason
He’s oddly silent.
You feared you did something the moment you pulled the picture of young Bruce Wayne out to put on the cake.
The wait was over the moment he did decide to say something but it was nothing like you’d expect to come out of his mouth;
‘Out of all the pictures there are of Bruce, that’s the one you picked? Nothing about that picture is flattering to him in any way whatsoever.’
‘Oh you’re just jealous.’ You’d tell him and Jason only raises his brow at you.
‘Jealous, babe have you seen me? What’s there to be jealous of that old bat.’ Jason replies as he gestures towards himself before pinching your cheeks. ‘I just think it’s adorable how you consider Bruce in his prime as a hear me out, it’s laughable really but you do you chipmunk.’ He adds.
However when you weren’t looking, he’d take the picture of Bruce from the cake and throw it over his shoulder, for there was no way in hell he was going to have a picture of Bruce on a cake. No sir, Jason would much rather die again than allow his own father to overstay his welcome on the damn cake.
He’d even act innocent when you would ask where the picture went as though he didn’t set it on fire with a lighter after plucking it off the cake. ‘It must’ve grew legs and walked off.’ He’d shrug but it wasn’t hard to know the truth.
His dad can fuck off away from the cake and you.
Damian
Another one who’s not so amused by the fact that you added his father on a ‘hear me out’ cake.
He doesn’t partake in such stupid trends that’ll sooner or later long forgotten by the public consciousness in favour of a new trend that’ll run itself to the ground just as quickly as the last. He questions the publics attention span if it was this short and unreliable, he really does and fears that the age of stupidity has begun with people who think a conventional attractive man with a Roman nose or any other unique feature is a ‘hear me out.’
As if they were any less attractive than a man with a plain featured, and rather unappealing and basic appearance. They’re weren’t, if anything people with romantic noses or any other unique features were just as attractive as the plained featured ones, and Damian found it rather ridiculous that is what is being considered a secrete that many think they’ll be judged for finding appealing.
‘My father? Really?’ He’d say as he looked between you and the picture of his father.
‘Yeah.’ You shrugged.
Damian only sighed as he crossed his arms over his chest. ‘A conventionally attractive man is you hear me out?’
‘Not just any conventionally attractive man-‘ you tried to explain but Damian didn’t allow you the space to do so.
‘My father in his prime doesn’t count, you should really do better research before putting random people on a cake, or better yet don’t partake in a challenge you don’t understand.’ Was all Damian said before he leaves the room, he’s not impressed and feared that there was too many people who for some stupid reason also though his father in his prime is a ‘hear me out.’
It freaks him out and disappoints him greatly of what the future of Gotham and humanity as a whole would look like if these people were to be at the helm.
Tim
Not amused.
He’s sick and tired of people putting conventional attractive people and anthropomorphic animals who are drawn in a specific way to elicit such emotions out of people.
So to see that you had put his father, more specifically Bruce in his first steps as the dark knight, he couldn’t help but look at you disappointedly.
One, you obviously didn’t understand the concept of a hear me out and Tim is more then ready to educate you on what one is with his long ass PowerPoint presentation. And two, really? His dad? What was wrong with his dad in his current old age? Did you have something against older men?
Wait- why was he so suddenly concerned whether or not you find his father less appealing now than how he looked in his prime? He should be more focused on the fact that you found such pristine picture of Bruce during that time, he’s tried multiple times but the resolution was god awful and didn’t do anything to flatter Bruce.
You’re still getting lectured on what a proper hear me out is though. Tim’s got fucking tons.
#dc imagine#dc x reader#dc x you#dc comics x reader#dc fanfic#dc fic#dc x y/n#dc fanfiction#jason todd imagine#jason todd x reader#jason todd fluff#jason todd x y/n#jason todd imagines#jason todd x you#dick grayson x you#dick grayson imagine#dick grayson imagines#dick grayson x reader#dick grayson fluff#damian wayne x you#damian wayne imagine#damian wayne x reader#damian wayne imagines#damian wayne fluff#tim drake x you#tim drake imagines#tim drake x reader#tim drake imagine#red hood x you#red hood imagine
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Keep This Low Key
💜 Pairings: Choso x F!reader- and Gojo x reader- Rating: Explicit- MDNI
💜 Contents/Warnings: Remember this is a slow burn. You'll hate Cho in this and reader lol. In this chapter, blow jobs, sixty nine, kissing, fingering and play. Jealous angst. Warning- the reader and Choso are with other ppl (intimately- reader w/Gojo in this chap- cho w/Amber) They're idiots. Plz don't read if upset about this kind of thing, Cho and reader are NOT dating but still. HEAVY ANGST this chap like I cried writing it.
💜 Word Count: this chap - 10.8k (longest so far!)
💜 Summary: You have been Choso's best friend for years, and one night he has a date with Yuki, his girlfriend, while you have a date with Ino, your boyfriend, only for them both to break up with you at the same time! You all think of calling each other, but run right into each other. Choso brings you home since you didn't even have your car, and you two are crying over a couple beers and a silly movie, only to have a sudden idea. Why not say fuck dating, fuck heartbreak, and just fuck each other?
No drama, no mess, no upset, and you two are such good friends, nothing can go wrong, right? The only agreement is no feelings, and if you all find a s/o, you'll end things. But the moment Choso opens his heart to you, and the moment you start falling, things get messy, as you realize he's the best you've had, and you're falling hard. Will you all stay friends, become more, or will everything blow up?
✨️Comments and reblogs appreciated if you enjoy ✨️
Chapter Three 💜 Masterlist 💜 Playlist 💜
Chapter Four
Choso’s POV
Choso and you are out shopping at the mall, it’s been so long since you all have done this, used to be a frequent occurrence for you. You both walk into Hot Topic, you giggle at the memories in the dark store with the blaring emo music, fingers brushing against a black anime shirt as Choso starts looking at some of the black spiky bracelets on the racks.
“God, too many memories here.” He muses, looking at you with a little smile, you’re so pretty today, you’re just in some ripped jeans and a band tee, his band on you, more like how he remembers you. Though Choso adores each and every version of you over the many years, something is so sweet when you’re comfortable and casual with him like this.
“A lot of memories.” You agree, bending over then, those jeans are tight and form fitting, and the sight of your ass like this?
After he’d literally edged you a week ago, you all had done nothing but hang out, the entire time he’s constantly dying to taste you again, to touch you, but it seemed like you weren’t backing down, and neither was he. He feels horrible that you saw that kiss, the kiss that happened because the thought of you with Gojo had him feeling so petty, so stupid.
Now to think you saw him? How did it make you feel? How did Gojo make you feel, having left a bruise on your pretty neck, how did you like kissing him? The thoughts are destroying him, it’s as if you won’t leave his head, leave his every dream, he can practically taste you in his memories on his tongue. Like some drug he’s now addicted to but can’t have.
And you’re right there, but not there. You’re a little distant, and it breaks him, it confuses him, did you not want him anymore? Was Gojo in your head like high school, should he protect his heart? A million questions enter Choso’s already scattered brain while studying your delicate features, your pretty face that won’t leave his brain for even a second.
Sleeping with you had made every feeling from high school come back with a vengeance, and knowing Gojo is in the picture is torture, it’s as if you’re just out of reach, and now he knows that he hurt you too. After you all slept together and you had run, he’d been so upset, so worried about it, and you must have thought he had just dismissed what happened.
Choso jerked off before even coming to get you today, he’d hoped it would give him just a little clarity, but you fuck his mind up any which way. Just inhaling your scent when you hug him, that fruity shampoo you use, whatever body spray it is you’ve used since school days, takes over his senses, whatever he has left of them. Just feeling your warm body, your soft skin.
You walk up to him now, brushing against him, looking at the bracelets he’s completely forgotten about. “Those are so cool! You should get em, Cho bear.”
“You think so?” You nod, and he hums to himself, peeking over at them and snatching them up. “If you like them.”
“I do! Ugh we spent so much time here, oh and Spencers! We should go there next.” You giggle, the sound so pleasing to his ears, especially since you’ve been a little quiet and distant this week. He looks down at you, your eyes are glittering, you’re biting your lower lip.
“We will. What about this shirt, isn’t that your anime husbando?” You laugh at that, nodding. “Grab that one then. Oh, this skirt…”
“It’s too short!”
“Could wear it around me.” He says before he thinks better, and watches you blush all over as you do, down your neck and even your chest, while he holds up the little pink plaid skirt with chains.
“Wear it around you, why?” You finger the material, shyly looking down, Choso steps closer, leaning down and grabbing your hip, you suck in a breath, and he feels your body tense.
“Why wouldn’t I wanna see you in that? Die to see your pretty legs in it-” His phone starts ringing now, making him take a breath and a step back, you curiously look at it, lips tensing just a bit.
“Ah, is that the girlfriend?” You ask, putting the skirt on the wrack and turning away from him.
“I don’t have a girlfriend.” He wants you as his girlfriend, god it’s not even a good enough word for what he really wants, but how does he even say it!? How can he ruin you being in his life, what if he’s not ‘manly’ enough for you, too? What if he’s not good enough!?
He gulps down his words as you turn back and look at it, ringing again. “Well you can answer it, I’m just your friend remember, no biggie.” Your words make him sick to his stomach, churning all around, sure it’s true but…
Fuck, it hurts.
He doesn’t even care for this girl either way, she’s some distraction, and she’s overtly distracting him. She’s a huge fan of his band and has been, so she’s quite annoyingly persistent. She’s sweet and very pretty, but god just look at you, at how beautiful you are just existing near him, in his orbit, pulling him in with that gravity you’re clueless of.
Having pushed you in the dark recesses of his mind for so long and forcing himself to see you as a best friend had been so difficult, but since your intimacy it’s become impossible. It’s as if you both opened some can of worms you really should not have, but now he’s dying to do it again, again, again.
He wants you to cum all over his cock again, fuck especially without the protection, so insane it had felt, the only time he had done so. He wants to fill you up full of his cum, watch it ooze out of your perfect little cunt, just to put more loads inside of you. You do something to him Yuki never did, no one ever has, it’s things he didn’t even know he craved.
“Cho, it’s three calls, answer.” You sound irritated then, Choso sighs.
“It’s rude.”
“It’s not, go ahead.” Choso steps out now, taking a breath of air and entering the busy mall right outside of the open Hot Topic doors.
“Hello?” He asks, he hopes he doesn’t sound rude, but he’s annoyed that she’s called so much.
“Choso! Oh my god, listen, I have such a good gig for you all. I just had to tell you!” Amber says, oh yeah that’s her name… Choso forgets, it seems the only name ingrained in his mind is yours now.
“Oh shit, what is it?” He asks, he’s excited for such an opportunity, Amber has a lot of connections as well, but he is looking at you as you’re making purchases, curious what you got yourself. The cashier is making eyes at you, but who wouldn’t?
“It’s at a huge venue for the rockfest coming up! They said they’d love to have you, but you will have to come meet them so we can register and prep. Are you down this afternoon?” Choso pauses, he’d promised you the day together, you both had wanted to do the mall, food and hit the movies.
But the rockfest is huge and the biggest event there is for discovering new rock bands, with heavy hitters everywhere. He’s absolutely sure Megumi and Yuji will lose their minds when he tells them. “That’s an insane opportunity, you don’t have to do all of this you know.”
“Of course I do, I believe in you. Also, I’d love to see you again.” Her voice drops a suggestive octave, you come out with a little smile now, standing next to him and poking around on your phone.
“Yeah, I’ll definitely be there. Can you shoot me a text with what time and where?”
“Sure thing, love. See you soon!” She hangs up now, and you frown a bit when Choso sighs.
“Everything okay?” You ask softly, a hand on his arm.
“Good news, she actually got me a gig opportunity at the rockfest coming up next week.”
“Oh my god that’s amazing!” You hug him, giggling, god you feel good against him. “I can’t wait! Listen I just bought you a bunch of bracelets and rings, you need new ones.”
You hand him the little bag to open, full of far too many of them, making him melt from such a cute gesture, you always do this when you two go shopping. “No, don’t buy things for me!”
“They’re all cheap, silly.”
“But you didn’t get yourself anything.” He peers in the bag, you apparently decided against that skirt that would look so sexy on you. You usually don’t get yourself anything do you? You shrug a shoulder, smiling a bit.
“I’m good, Cho. I didn’t see anything that I needed. Um… ooh Spencers though, is that our next adventure? Oh my God, remember the adult section the first time we snuck in?” You ask, whispering conspiratorially, he laughs then, as the text pops up, and he sees he needs to be there in two hours.
“Shit, so the meeting is in two hours though.” You blink a bit.
“With your… blond friend?”
“Amber, yeah.”
“Amber.” You murmur. “Oh then… I guess get me home so you can get ready.” You start heading away, and Choso grabs your arm then.
“No, we can hit at least one more store!”
“No, you need to get dressed, get there… I definitely don’t want to delay a big opportunity for something-” His phone goes off again, and it’s a selfie of Amber, sticking her tongue out and in a bustier that hides nothing, saying she can’t wait to see him, and he watches your face fall as your eyes hit the screen.
“I don’t know why she’s sending selfies, it really is for the band I-”
“No need to explain. It’s cool.” You walk further, and he senses it, you’re upset, and what do you do when upset?
Run from him.
Choso catches up with you, his hand grabbing yours, and you stare at it for a moment, before looking back up at him, emotion making your eyes glassy, breaking his heart then, his chest feels like something is squeezing it, his throat closing up. But what you say and how you look at him don’t match, they don’t compute, and he doesn’t know how you feel.
“Come with me then! I would love it if you were there, and we can still spend the day.” He offers, but you gently pull your little hand out of his grip, walking out of the doors now, heading toward where he parked.
“No, it’s important shit. And she’d like you to herself I am sure, sounds… awkward I don’t know, spending time with you and her.” Choso runs to open the passenger door before you can touch the handle. “Thanks, Cho.”
The ride is quiet, far too fucking quiet, and when he puts a hand on your thigh over the denim, you just stare out the window quietly. There’s music playing but all he can hear is his heart racing, worrying he’s messed something up again, worrying about you and your feelings, confused and feeling like he just doesn’t know what the fuck he’s really doing.
“Am I fucking up our friendship?” He asks, and you look at him then, hand coming on top of his, exhaling.
“No, never. I’m sorry, I’ve been a little in my head.” He nods, looking at the road, feeling your fingers brush his knuckles, he nears your home which is spo close by, he’s been here a million times, it’s like clockwork to go there.
“We can always talk, you know.” He says, you just nod a bit, putting on a fake smile, he knows it’s fake, because that genuine one you just had at the mall has now completely vanished.
“It’s just in my head I think, my… thoughts.” After some more quiet, you both pull up. He tilts his head, leaning close as you unsnap your seatbelt.
“I’m always here. I’ll make it up to you, we can go out tonight to grab a bite to eat you think?”
“I’m sure she’ll want to. Don’t worry.” Your face is tight, your voice quiet,
“But I want to spend time with you. I miss you.”
“Cho, we just spent time…”
“I miss you.” He says again, you falter, when he leans close, cupping your face in his big tattooed hand, thumb brushing on your jaw.
“You want a good luck blowjob huh.” You tease, but your words are serious, he can feel them.
“A good luck kiss, only if you want to.” He murmurs, eyeing your plump lower lip, glossy as you run your tongue across them.
“You wanna kiss me?” He wants to laugh at that, how the fuck do you think he doesn’t always want to kiss you? Not just during sex, during any moment. “Thought it was just when we want to fuck.”
“Well do you even want to kiss me?”
“Of course I do.” You rest your forehead against his, leaning close, your noses just barely touching. “I’m aching for you.”
“Then why the distance?” His eyes lock on yours, pulling back, trying to study your beautiful face for some clue.
“I just thought I was being too much, and how you left things…”
“I’m sorry, I was being an ass. Edging your perfect pussy that way.” You exhale, leaning further, as his hand slips up your thigh, gripping your ass, pulling you further towards him, you let out this sexy little cry. “Let me make it up to you tonight, please… I’ll make you feel so good.”
“If we kiss and don’t… aren’t we breaking a rule?” You ask, and he wonders at these idiotic rules, were they so he didn’t fall for you?
They were failing.
“A prelude to tonight then.”
“You can kiss Amber though.” He scowls now. “I don’t mean it in a bad way, I’d love to kiss you, I love your lips, that tongue ring.” Your little fingers drift across them. “But just being honest, especially after that picture, she’s pretty hot you know.”
Choso glares more, tilting your chin up to look at him, as the car softly hums and he’s pressing you against him as much as he can in his little car. “I asked if I could get a kiss from you. You. Not her.”
You lean up, brushing your lips against his gently, pulling back and then leaning in again, another sweet brush, that destroys him then, his mind turns to complete mush as he feels the sensation of your lips. He exhales, dragging you onto his lap before he can think better, hands cupping your face and kissing over and over, as you press against his lap.
“Fuck you taste so good.” He murmurs, sweet like some sort of cherries, you whine out now, straddling him in tight jeans, your heat pressing against his clothed cock, making his cock strain from just that.
“Cho…” You whimper now, rolling your hips, kissing him messier, more desperate now, tongue all sloppy as you play with his hair with teasing fingers. Choso’s hands find purchase against the nip at your waist, pressing into your ribcage and earning a little sigh of pleasure when he gently presses you down more. “Mnh.”
“Lemme get you off, please.” You shake your head, taking a breath and leaning back.
“It’s fine, I’m fine- ah!” Choso’s grinding you against him, tip of him pressing against your folds, watching your eyes roll back, hair falling like a curtain as your back arches, he slides up your shirt, revealing a black lacy bra over your perfect tits, he begins to lavish your nipples one by one.
“Pretty titties… perfect little angel.” He watches you melt, your hands enwrapping in his long hair he wore loose today, manicured nails barely pressing against his scalp, just like when he’d drunk your juices out of your pussy last week.
“Please.” Is all you manage to whisper, Choso eagerly grinds you more against him, your breath catching, hot sticky wetness gathering on your panties when his fingers slip under the waistband of your jeans, he groans as he feels you. “Please, Cho… need you.”
“I need you to cum for me.” He presses his thumb on your clit, feeling your damn and sticky underwear, your slick drooling, he watches as your eyes dilate, and you keep grinding on his hard cock, that’s desperate to slide inside you.
His phone rings as you’re kissing him again, and he goes to turn it off on his car screen, only for Amber’s voice to ring out in the car, making you halt. “Cho, did you get the address love?”
You freeze now, he watches everything shift as you do, you quickly hop off his lap, zipping yourself up with shaky hands. “Yes I have it, Amber I’m busy-”
“You’re not busy.” You whisper, and Choso’s mouth drops open when you rush out of the car, he gets out and follows you right to your porch, you turn and shake your head with a fake smile. “Go, Cho. Tell me how it goes.”
“Will you stop running!? All the time!” He grabs your shoulders, and you can still hear her voice from the car, looking at it and then back at him.
“You’re confusing me. You say one thing and do another.”
“What!? What do you even mean?”
“You’re clearly very close, love, getting damn near naked pics, calling you three times in a row, then calling again?”
Choso scowls now. “And you and Gojo?”
You snort, rolling your eyes. “I haven’t talked to him since you edged me last week, I thought you were mad, I thought you… wanted me… to…”
You’re tearing up now, breaking Choso into pieces as he watches you, so fragile. He tries to cup your face but you push him away, sniffling now. “Please, please don’t cry, just talk to me. I thought you were still talking to him?”
“No! Because I thought you were wanting to be more. But I’m a fucking idiot oh my god. I’m just some fun distraction.”
“What do you mean, I thought you wanted just friends? You-”
“And we will be just friends. I won’t do that again.” You swipe at your eyes, and Choso’s heart breaks as it beats even.
“You’re always confusing me-”
“No, no it’s you who is confusing this. Acting like you think I’m so beautiful, making me feel that way, special. You shouldn’t do that to casual fucks.”
“You are beautiful, so beautiful god why can’t you see this? You are special, more special than almost anyone in my life. I don’t know how you think you’re not. Fuck this let me push this off-”
“No. It’s important. Even if I’m upset I’d never put your music off.” You take a shaky breath, kissing his cheek. “Amber’s upset. Go, and good luck.”
“Please, angel-” You shut the door quickly, rushing in your home, Choso’s hand is pressed on the door, leaning his head on it. “Please, let me in, let me talk to you. You’re wrong, I swear you are.”
You say nothing, Choso tries to knock, feeling emotions catch in his throat, but you say nothing, he can faintly hear a cry from there, pushing him to feel even worse. You weren’t even talking to Gojo!? And here he was, he’s been texting and calling Amber this entire time, but you…
“Please. Just talk to me, or I won’t go.” You open the door, tears streaking your cheeks.
“You’re being petty.”
“Yeah, I am.” He swipes the emotion from his eyes.
“Go, I want you to, I’m f-fine. I just… I thought we… just go.” Choso steps in, cupping your face again, thumbs brushing the apples of your cheeks. “Don’t do that, don’t look like that at me. We are only friends.”
Choso scoffs now. “I want you to cum on my face, on my cock, I want you moaning and writhing under me.” He presses you against the doorway, feels your desire with your every breath, but you shake your head, pushing on him.
“It hurts too much. I thought I could, but I can’t separate it. It’s too much for me, the desire… the feelings.” Your voice is barely above a whisper.
Choso blinks in surprise. Could you possibly have some feelings for him!? Was it more than… “Feelings?”
“Cho, go. I’ll be fine.” You kiss his cheek now, how you used to, Choso gulps down the emotions.
“I can’t leave you like this.”
“I’m your friend. That’s it. We’ll do food and movies another day, yeah?” You gently push him out your door, smiling tremulously. “I think I’m PMSing, I don't know. I’m cool if you talk to her, fuck her whatever. Just tell me I guess.”
“Fuck her?”
“It’s cool, I swear. Go kill it, Cho bear.” You shut your door, he hears your lock click this time, your steps echoing.
He feels like a part of him is ripped in half in your absence, driving with no music, your sweet scent lingering in his car, your tears lingering in his mind. He had you in his lap, on his lips, isn't this what you both wanted, to have sex with no complications… but there are more and more complications every moment. And he left you there, to cry, sure you told him to leave, but this gnawing instinct makes him wish he had stayed.
Your POV
You see Cho and Amber on Instagram a couple hours later, with two huge Rockstars from popular bands that are running the show. You want to be so happy for him, and sure you are, but his hand on Amber's waist makes you ill, the way her hand is on his chest!? You can't stomach it.
You keep checking, wondering if Choso would message you. Call you. But the only messages are from Utahime and Satoru Gojo, who you've ignored ALL fucking week, waiting on Cho to make a move, only for him to have been clearly talking to this girl very regularly.
Sweet Cho Bear may be great as a friend and superb at fucking, but he seems to be the worst thing that could have happened to your mind. The way he so casually hurts you and puts you second is damn near debilitating, you’re tired of crying in your bed over him, when he was once the one who would comfort you, who would hold you while you cried over a boy.
Now Cho is that boy, and you're a whole idiot. You still can’t even process exactly what it is you’re feeling, was it just how good Choso made you feel? Is that all this was, a confusion from lack of experience, and his stupidly good skills? Or is it the moment you kiss him, and want nothing more than to lose yourself in him, when you feel his heartbeat against you…
When you call Utahime back on Facetime, she gasps when she sees you in tears. “Was it Gojo? Imma kill him.”
“No, no… it’s Cho.”
“Choso, what’d that sweet boy do!?”
“Ugh.” You take a breath, setting Utahime down on your dresser, deciding to start putting on makeup to hide your tired eyes and tear streaked face. “He’s got this girl, Amber, I saw them kiss.”
“Shit… but you all are friends with benefits not…”
“Yeah, I know. But ‘Hime, I felt so special, the way he looks at me.” You’re sniffling, and then you peek at Amber’s IG, poking around, jaw setting when on her Instagram she’s kissing Choso’s cheek. “Look at this.”
You send it to her, Utahime’s eyes narrow. “Okay no, that’s… I thought he didn’t wanna date? Wasn’t that the point?”
“Right, nothing serious. But she called him four times in one outing, fuck she came through the car bluetooth and cockblocked me.”
“Shit. Babe maybe no more sex, before you ruin your friendship, I’d hate you two not being friends.”
“I know, I know. I told him no more, I don’t think he got it though, he seems to say one thing and do another, and I’m just tired. And as for Gojo, I blew him off all week because I misread what Choso meant.”
“Well it’s still fuck Gojo till it’s backwards- and I don’t mean actually fuck him.” You snort.
“You just hate him.”
“Sure do.”
“But I’m feeling petty, and horny. And mad as fuck. Am I immature?” Utahime sighs.
“You and Choso both are naive little babies I think. Have you tried telling him how you feel?”
“He doesn’t feel that way, clearly. Look.” You send another pic now, one that Choso and Amber are tagged in, with the group of people preparing press for the show, Choso looks so fucking good, despite the girl clinging to him.
“Ah. Babe if you fuck Gojo I’ll come smack you I know this hurts but…”
“I’m not gonna fuck him, ‘Hime. Just maybe hang out and take an Insta pic and post it.” She smirks as you do.
“You petty ass bitch.”
“Bitch!”
“Fine. You have my blessing to be petty, but no dick.”
“Yes mommy.” You feel so much better, sighing. “Come see me when you get in tomorrow, please!”
“I will. Love you.” You disconnect the phone, peering at it to see if Choso has said any fucking thing to you, but you imagine he’s busy. He posts about the event, tagging Yuji and Megumi.
Nice to know the support you’ve always given him isn’t shit compared to a new pretty fan with connections. You yank off his band shirt, throwing it across the room, when Satoru’s text comes in.
Jock Gojo- you can’t stay angry at me I’m too pretty.
You find yourself giggling, rolling your eyes.
You- I’m not even angry, just had a lot on my mind.
Jock Gojo- Let me fuck your brains out then?
You- Nvm fuck you actually.
Jock Gojo- You’re punishing me :’( for being a dick on prom.
You snap off your bra, giggling a bit when he calls.
“What’s up?” You ask, popping him on speaker.
“Thinking about this mean girl, she was a nerd goodie goodie. She has a really nice ass…”
“Stop it!” You burst out laughing, slipping off your jeans now.
“Whatchya wearing?”
“Just panties right now.” You hear him exhale.
“You’re trying to kill me.” The flattery is getting you, especially feeling so damn inadequate with Choso right now.
“I am sorry I blew you off, it wasn’t you though. Do you wanna… I don’t know, catch up?” You’re digging through your closet now, tilting your head as you peer at the bevy of dresses you’ve bought for when you were with Ino.
“I’d love that. Are you free tonight? We can grab something to eat, see a movie… I dunno whatever you want. You can suck my dick in the theater!?” You snort again at him, rolling your eyes.
“You’re ridiculous, Satoru. But… yeah I’m down to go out. A movie doesn’t sound bad at all.” That’s what you and Choso were supposed to do, see the new Star Wars movie that’s out.
“It’s a date then. Wear something easy-access.”
“Oh whatever, you’re so dumb.” He laughs softly, the sound is always pleasing, Satoru’s voice is pleasing altogether with its deep timbre. “What time?”
“Well what movies are out?”
“Star Wars!”
“Nerdy ass. Fine.” You giggle now.
“I was supposed to go with Cho but he’s… got this girl and also a whole gig going for the band. We can see something else though?”
“I don’t mind. Alright I’ll pick you up in an hour?”
“Sure.” You both hang up, you keep looking through your wardrobe until you come upon a cute plaid skirt, similar to what Choso wanted you to buy, but this hit mid thigh versus exposing all of your ass.
The thoughts make your cheeks heat up, then your tummy clench, how he’d just been kissing you, touching you. For him, you suppose, he truly could be a friend with benefits, but you fail at it completely, and though you certainly don’t plan on fucking Gojo, you’re curious at things.
Could you feel good with someone else?
“Hey sweets… I need all this candy.” You and Satoru are checking into the movie, his hand resting at your waist.
“They overprice the candy!”
“I’m rich, I don’t care.” Satoru buys a copious amount of candy and then two giant slushies, amusing the fuck out of you.
“Is one for me?” You ask teasingly.
“No way.” He hands you a slushie and you have to admit you feel a little giddy and excited, which is lovely after feeling so down earlier. Satoru is basically a big damn kid and his energy is infectious. You’re shoving thoughts of Choso way down when Satoru nudges you as you all walk toward the theater.
You take a sip of your slushie, looking at him curiously. “What?”
“Your friend, yeah?” You blink and see him then, holding hands with her, in line to check in for a movie at the opposite side of the theater.
So…
Choso blew you off, didn’t see a movie with you and is instead with Amber, and isn’t even seeing Star Wars!??!
“Hey buddy!”
“Satoru no…” You hiss but he’s waving with a box of candy. Choso looks at him curiously, then at you, his jaw tensing, Amber bounces over, looking at Satoru and then you with a pretty grin.
“Oh damn, I guess I don’t have to worry about you, dating this hottie.” She clings to Choso and winks at Satoru, you feel sick to your fucking stomach, the one gulp of that drink you took making you want to now vomit.
“We’re not dating yet, she’s mean to me. And she’s a nerd and was dying to see Star Wars. You now pew pew pew.” Satoru starts acting like his candy is a lightsaber, you’d be laughing if you didn’t wanna punch your own friend in the face.
“Can we talk for a minute?” Choso asks, and you shrug, stepping aside and touching Satoru on the shoulder gently, earning Choso’s anger directed right at you.
“Be back?”
“Sure thing.” Satoru says.
Choso and you step aside just a bit, laugh without humor. “You’re not even seeing it? Even if you didn’t wanna go with me, you are seriously missing it altogether?” You ask quietly, and Choso shakes his head quickly, glaring over at Gojo.
“You said you didn’t want to go out tonight, remember? I wanted to go with you after.” His words are soft, as Satoru and Amber start giggling about something.
“Because it’d apparently be me as a third wheel. Damn.” You scoff, and Choso steps up to you closer, his violet eyes glossy with worry.
“I thought you were done with-”
“Yeah the Instagram pictures made me realize maybe I need to move on from whatever the fuck this is.” You hiss the words quietly, Choso steps back, hurt clear on his face.
“I wrote you.”
“You didn’t-”
“I did!”
You pull out your phone, seeing his several texts now, but you were so mad you put him on mute. You gulp, scrolling through as he repeatedly asks you out to eat, as he asks if you’re home, as he asks if you’re upset with him. You see sad emojis and heart emojis and ‘angel’ please messages, making you feel a pit in your stomach, but where had these been all day?
“Ah, well I didn’t see, but whatever. Have fun.” You turn to step away, and Choso gently touches your hand.
“You’re mad when you’re here with him?” He asks, and it’s your turn to narrow your eyes at him.
“I blew him off a week for some dumb idea that maybe you wanted to date.” You whisper, and he blinks, opening his mouth, but you hold up your hand. “This was a huge mistake, though you’re a great friend, I can’t just fuck you, I felt too much.”
“You think I don’t feel things for you? You think you aren’t in my mind?” He leans low, and you step back to breathe.
“If we want to stay friends we can never do it again.” Choso’s eyes get wide, you watch his lip tremble just slightly.
“Do you not want me anymore?” He asks, and you shake your head, disbelieving he can’t notice what he does to you when he’s touching you.
“I wanted you too much. I was stupid, not you, you’re great at it, at sex… at being unaffected, nonchalant. At doing your thing. I am the one that couldn’t do it. So we should forget it all, every bit.” You hate the words spilling from your lips, but you know they’re necessary.
“Forget it?” You nod now, trembling as you stand there, your heart pounding out of your damn chest. “How can I forget you in that way, your taste, your lips on mine… your body? How your back arches as I’m making you cum?”
His words make your mind flit with images, you shake your head, shutting your eyes and pushing them away as much as you can. God just with words he fucked you up. “You’d had to forget it when you and Amber fuck anyway, so work on it.” Choso gasps softly, his handsome face falling.
“So it meant nothing.” Choso’s words are broken, but it’s just not fair to say it like that, it’s not fair to do this to your heart, you know him and have known him, so you know it’s not intentional. But it doesn’t make it hurt less.
“It meant too much.” You step away then, putting on a little smile, walking back to Gojo and putting your arm in his as you look at Amber, who’s clinging to Choso when he walks back up. “I hope you guys have fun, can’t wait for the concert.”
“You should bring him!” She pokes at Gojo with a giggle.
“I think I will.” Choso glares at you, the look of fucking death, and you get some small satisfaction that you shouldn’t.
You’re done being dickmatized by your best friend, you’re done falling for him so fast and so hard, you’re done with all the feelings that have been driving you since Senior year of high school pooling at once. When he’d let you know so casually he was in love with Yuki, and if he’d wanted you all this time, why did he never make a move?
“Sounds good man I love to see ya play.” Satoru is so unbothered, you wish you could have a teeny bit of that yourself.
“Appreciate it. Have fun, angel.” He says to you now, right in front of both of them in a soft tone, you catch his eyes and feel every emotion, you feel the weight of such simple words, like he’s claiming you his, like he’s telling you so much more without saying it truly.
“Have fun Cho bear.” You say with a bright smile, so fake, and you can tell he knows it’s fake by his frown, but Amber is tugging him away.
“So… he was the fuck buddy.”
“Satoru!” You smack at him, he just smirks, shaking his head.
“It’s obvious.”
You sigh, handing the usher your tickets as you and Choso walk your separate ways, as you always have you suppose, it was foolish to think so much would change from a couple of experiences. He was so in love with Yuki he was about to buy her a fucking ring, of course he was upset that night, and it had been you who brought it up, not him.
You caused this.
“I’m sorry maybe I should’ve told you?”
“Nah, we’re on date number two, and I told you I have regulars. Not that I’ve been with them all week.” You raise your brows in surprise, Satoru pops down in the theater, with big recliner seats, you both settle in and ease back.
“Oh? Actually, me either.” Satoru slurps on his drink, sticking out his tongue now and making you laugh softly as the lights dim.
“Blue! Like my balls after our date.”
“Oh god.” You shake your head, and you picture it, Choso next to you so fucking excited, the both of you have seen every single Star Wars movie absolutely ever, this was the first he’s missing.
You can’t even be mad at him, Amber is pretty, clingy and not in a friend zone like you. If you both were meant to be, wouldn’t you have by now? But your mind drifts to him, missing him though you’ve seen him all day, but it’s Satoru Gojo sitting next to you, annoyingly whispering every time a character pops up, asking who the hell any of them are.
But it’s not annoying then, it’s nice. You could be alone, and not with a handsome, tall white haired little shit, your first kiss. Satoru could have been your first everything, but of course you weren’t ready back then. He has a big hand on your bare thigh, thumb brushing against your skin in little circles, as he’s popping candy into his mouth, making you wonder at his metabolism.
“Who’s that!? Is that yoda?” You giggle quietly, leaning on him.
“Grogu. It’s like a baby yoda.”
“It’s cute! I want one.” You nod in agreement.
“So cute, right? He’s actually old though.”
“Explain, I’m so interested.” His fingers slide higher, making you tremble now, you take several breaths, as they dance against your skin, leaving goosebumps everywhere he touches.
“Are you now?” You find yourself leaning against him, kissing a little trail up his cheek and ear, his fingertips press into the plush of your thigh as you do, that little shitty guilty feeling gnawing at even that.
And why?
You and Choso were friends and you yourself had said ‘no attachments, no emotions, no drama’ and couldn’t make it past three times fucking him (and two ridiculous times of him eating you out… fuck it makes you clench thinking of it) and you caught feelings. It’s pathetic that it happened so fast for you, but how could someone not fall for Choso Kamo? He certainly doesn’t even comprehend the effects he has on people.
“Mmm…” Satoru’s little breathy cry does something to you, as do his fingers brushing higher when you nip on his earlobe, before turning your eyes back to the movie and holding his hand. “Fuck.”
He leans to you now, kissing a trail up your neck, you all are not surrounded by anyone at all where you are and hidden mostly in the recliners, you let your eyes flutter shut when he kisses your neck, when his tongue laps out at your skin, and he’s slipping the hand up further. You’ve been edged twice this week, you can’t help but shift your hips closer.
Satoru kisses you lazy and sensually, biting your lower lip between his teeth, then lapping his tongue along it, cupping your face, you’re enjoying his kisses, the butterflies he stirs even after years. Satoru may have been an asshole back in high school, but he was a hell of a distraction right now, especially when he’s rubbing you over lacy panties.
“You’re gonna distract me from… the…” You’re trying to keep in your little cry, biting your lip when he presses on your clothed clit, finding you damp and sticky, he exhales against your ear now.
“You’re so wet, though. Need me to take care of you?” He asks, you tense then just a bit, but your body reacts, getting wetter and wetter with his practiced circles, he slips his fingers under them now, finding your bare pussy.
“Not saying so.” He laughs, kissing you again, you cry out ever so softly into his lips, hips rolling as his finger teases your entrance.
“She says so.” You lose yourself for a moment, before getting a bit of a clear head, realizing where you all are, he slips a finger inside your slick walls, you clench around the invasion of it, long and sinking deep. “Fuck you’re tight.”
“We shouldn’t here, though.” He pouts in the dark theater.
“You’re mean to her.” He sucks on his finger now, and the sight of Satoru’s pouty lips licking your arousal fucks you up, your brain short circuits for a minute. “You’re as sweet as these candies, fuck.”
“You do go on.” You kiss yourself off him now, before shifting your skirt down a bit, blushing in the darkness. “Okay I need a sec.”
“Gotta play with your pussy?”
“Shush!” You sneak past him, he’s grinning all handsome, and for a moment you think, fuck this is nice, and maybe you could forget this feeling for Choso.
Until you walk by him heading out of the bathroom.
You turn away, and he’s calling your name softly. “What?”
“Can we talk tonight, please?” He asks, standing just a little away from you, the theater is empty as everyone is nestled inside each show, just a person or two walking across.
“What’s there to talk about?” His dark brows lower.
“You really don’t ever want to again? To feel that again?” He cups your chin in his hand, tilting your gaze up to him, to your sweet best friend that currently makes your mind haywire.
“Of course I do. But it means more to me than it does to you.”
“How do you even know that? Have you asked me?”
“I can clearly see, each time we do something you have no problem being with another girl.”
“We haven’t-”
“It doesn’t matter. We won’t again, go enjoy your movie Cho bear.”
“I hurt you.” His words make you pause, you shake your head quickly. “I have hurt you, I can tell it. Written all over your beautiful fucking face.”
“Don’t say shit like that. I’m trying to get over you.” He blinks in confusion, you turn away and he follows you in the damn bathroom. “Choso, seriously, leave me the fuck alone.”
“Get over me? Get over what, being my friend?” You lean against the sink, looking at him exasperatedly.
“I’m still your friend. I always will be. It was a mistake, everything.” You hate that the tears are back.
“How was that a fucking mistake? Feeling you cum around my cock like that, drinking you up?” You whine pathetically when his hands are cupping your face, and he’s bent so low. “No way it’s normal to feel that.”
“So what, you’re saying I’m good in bed? Thanks Cho, so are you, but we can’t do it. I can’t hurt like this. Now go.”
“So you can be with Gojo?” You shove him then, you shove sweet ass Choso Kamo, your best friend, and he looks at you, shocked.
“So you can be with Amber. Funny, I couldn’t in years do shit like she could for your band. Good pick.” Choso steps back up, his hands now on your waist, big strong hands that you wonder at, how much could he throw you around if he tried, if he’d have more chances.
Hands that simultaneously drive you with need and drive you to insanity, god you wish you never knew how good it was. “I want you.”
“What, now that you see me with someone? All week you haven’t said or done shit. I’m not a game.”
“I’m not playing a game.”
“You may not know it, but you are. And my mind is the fucking victim.” Choso slams his lips on yours now, not the sweet way he kisses, no it’s brutal, it’s so different, you cry out, clinging to him, before pulling back and gasping. “I said no more of this.”
“Say it, that you don’t want me to. That you don’t feel this.” You’re shaking now, as his hand comes over yours, your eyes shut with the overwhelming sensations he’s fucking you up with, the way his big hand entwines with yours, and now your lips are tingling from him.
“It hurts too much to see you with her.”
“What do you think it’s like for me?”
“It’ll ruin us if we do it again.” Choso rests his forehead on yours. “I wanted you to choose me, just once.”
“What!?” You step away then, finally able to breathe, rushing out. “You told me to go, I wrote you-”
“Just because I said to, doesn’t mean I meant it.” You watch the hurt and confusion, making you feel like shit. “I fucked up asking you to do this. Blame me, it wasn’t your desires or ideas. Please, have fun, and forget any of this.” You put a hand on his shoulder, hating when a tear falls.
But you can’t let him keep hurting you like this, building your hopes up just to shatter them the fuck down, even if he’s so sweet he doesn’t know, or doesn’t mean to do it. You have to pull back, even as he’s trying to pull you close, and you watch him bite his lower lip.
“Let’s both leave right now.” He says huskily, you shake your head.
“It’s a terrible idea. I’ll fall more.”
“Fall? You’re…”
“Forget it, please. I don’t want to lose you in my life, but if we go any further, I won’t be able to pull back.”
“What if I don’t want you to?” You inhale and exhale, before turning away and walking back into the theater, trying to forget the hurt look on his face.
It’s not much longer that you certainly forget that sad look on his face, when you’re walking out into the chilly night and Satoru throws an expensive jacket over your shoulders. When you see Choso in his car with his head tilted back, and you worry, is he devastated, have you made a terrible decision? What if he truly did feel things for you-
Then you see Amber pop her head up, giggling.
Oh.
Oh.
She kisses Choso, he is presumably kissing his fucking cum off her lips, you feel your heart beat erratically, walking past with Satoru then, of course you have the shit luck that they parked right across from you all. Satoru comes to open the door when Choso’s eyes lock on yours, and his panicked face says everything you needed to know.
He never loved you, he never even cared, if so how could he so casually profess one thing while doing the absolute opposite? He rushes out of the car, and Satoru’s pretty blue eyes narrow a bit when he’s standing right in front of you, and you look down to see his pants unbuttoned just a bit.
You told him just friends, it appears he’s taken it seriously.
Were you some stepping stone for Choso’s hoe era?
“Your button.” You say softly, he hastily buttons it, and Satoru snorts now.
“Nice man, car blow job?”
“Can you shut the fuck up.” You glare, and Satoru’s chuckling, completely unbothered, Choso’s hands are clenching into fists.
“Gonna be mean to him? For what?”
“He left you at prom-”
“We were seventeen. It’s in the damn past. Your girl is pouting by the way, pay her some attention.” You say now, slipping into the car.
“I need to explain things to you.” He murmurs, leaning close, and you just sigh, shaking your head. “It’s not what you think, and you said just friends.”
“Yep. Just friends. Bye now, Cho bear.” You shut your door, Satoru puts an arm around you as he revs up the car, and you lean in, kissing him deeply.
“Mmm, I like petty you.” He teases, you snort, burying your face in his neck. “Can I get a car blow job too?”
“Oh drive, Gojo, jesus.” He’s laughing, pulling you against him as you all leave the parking lot, you could swear you feel his eyes on you, but you really are past fucking caring.
Maybe dick is really what you need to get over him?
Choso’s POV (A few minutes earlier)
“No, you shouldn’t…” Choso’s struggling to pull Amber off him, her mouth is latched on his neck, hand stroking his cock, visions of you flitting in his mind, of you telling him you don’t even want to be intimate again. That you made a mistake of being with him.
It makes him feel horrible, did he take advantage of you in some way!? He’s so clueless of these things, he’d tried to text you over and over before he agreed to go to this movie, and then when he saw you with Satoru!? Fuck it hurt, but he’s pushed you there, you were upset and he shouldn’t have left.
You say one thing and mean another, how can he read you, how can he understand you? How can he just go back to friendship, fuck you all were so dumb for this, completely underestimating what would be there. He kissed Amber once, and it was nothing like kissing you, her body against his and lips now are just no comparison, when he had your sweet lips.
Your moans.
Your breaths.
The way you…
Fuck now he’s thinking of your body, gorgeous, your smooth skin, every curve and line he wants to devour, all while Amber is stroking his cock. He knows you’re probably going to be with Gojo, have you already done things? He sees visions of Gojo fucking you, on your hands and knees maybe, your ass arched in the air, with his experience is he so much better?
Will you cum for him like you do Choso, will he get to drink up those juices from your perfect plump little pussy? Will he have you fingers gripping his hair, those blunt nails pressing against his scalp, your slick heat enwrapping him? Amber giggles since now Choso is completely hard, even though he’s upset, the thought of you like that makes him go insane with need.
To claim you, to make you his. But you want nothing to do with him, he’s fucked it all up somehow, and he truly doesn’t know how to make it right, how to say the words out loud that are eating him alive. How to say how much he’s falling for you, how amazing you are, how he dreams of you…
“Lemme take care of you, Choso.” Amber cooes, and Choso feels terrible, guilty as fuck, but why? You two aren’t together, now he doesn’t even get to kiss your perfect lips again. You don’t want to anymore, because of him.
You weren’t together, just friends you both said.
But you’re not just his friend.
Before he knows it, so lost in thought, Amber is undoing his pants, he pulls her hair now, earning her moan. “No, no! No, shit… sorry for pulling your hair, but… y-you can’t. Shouldn’t- mmm!”
Choso whines out and gasps when she takes his length in her mouth, swirling her tongue and humming. “Mmm, you’re fucking huge.”
“Please don’t do that, get up-ah.” She sucks so hard, he bucks up, his hand accidentally shoving her further by some stupid instinct, she’s bobbing up and down him, clearly an insane level of experience. Sucking him up like a vacuum, swallowing his cock whole down her throat, her long nails digging into his jeans, pressing against his thighs.
He leans his head back, he’s been as edged as you this week, and it does feel good, if you ignore the sinking in his stomach, when his eyes come to focus, and you’re by the car right across from him, Gojo’s jacket on your shoulder. You look right at him for a moment, and he panics, as Amber giggles, leaning up now.
“You’re the biggest guy I’ve sucked, fuck you’ll feel good in me.” Choso immediately zips up his pants, running out of the car, and when he sees you, he knows then.
Shoulders slumped down.
Eyes glossy and glittering.
Lips set in such a tense line.
He knows it, then, you won’t forgive this, in his desperation to explain, you have no care to hear, you’re so withdrawn he doesn’t even know if you’ll be his friend, and how could he blame you? Begging you to be with him, only for you to see something like that, and now you’re kissing Satoru right in front of him, knocking the wind out of his body.
He almost collapses as you drive away, numb and mindlessly going through the motions, you must think he is a liar, you must think you were right, he’d hurt you, truly hurt you. You’ve been his rock for so long, so important to him, so important to even his little brother, like family for so long, now he’s going to lose you, and now he know everything he’s losing.
Choso: Please, please it’s not what you think. Angel…
Read.
Choso: I’m so sorry, I never meant to hurt you, it wasn’t what you think, and… I think of you. I think of you constantly, always.
Nothing.
Choso: Cuss me out, do something, say something. Please, I understand if you hate me forever, but this wasn’t intentional, and I’m confused, I don’t know what we are, I don’t know what to do.
Read, and nothing.
You read each single one and say nothing in response, Choso drops Amber off with a faint good bye, he doesn’t kiss her, he barely talks to her, she’s babbling away but his heart is being ripped from his chest. If you hadn’t already done things with Gojo, surely you would now, and what if he is so much better than Choso could be?
Rich, always so fucking popular, the head of the football team, good with ladies, fuck you fawned over him, when he had it so bad for you. You would doodle Satoru Gojo and you in wedding clothes as he’d sit at study sessions, and the fear of him pushed Choso even further to lose his mind and thoughts with Amber, but now even he doesn’t know if he can forgive himself.
Not for hurting you like this.
Choso: Please, I’ll do anything, just talk to me. Just… still be my best friend, even if I want you as so much more, I’ll take it, I’ll take just that again over none of you… please.
You don’t read it, your green dot is off line, seven minutes ago.
Choso sobs into his hands, sitting on his couch, thinking of the hurt on your pretty face when you saw it, fuck did you feel unwanted? When all he wants is you, but how could you know now? How could you know that he does, when you saw that.
Did you really feel like this ‘distraction’ or a game to him? You’re more than that, so much more. As he curls into a ball and sobs, he hates himself then, why can’t he know better, do better, why can’t he just know what’s right? You should hate him after this.
He’s losing you, and he never even really had you, not in the way he wants, he craves, he needs in his soul. After a long time, he falls asleep with streaks of tears drying on his cheeks, eyes heavy and reddened and sore. He is dreaming of you, snuggling next to him, heat on his leg, your smile so sleepy and cute. Your hair is a mess, and you’re in his tee shirt.
How can he lose you like this?
Your POV
“F-Fuck, Satoru!” You’re crying out as he’s pumping two stupidly long fingers deep in your pussy, and Satour’s moaning into your mouth, you’re literally on your front porch in the middle of the evening as he’s pressing you against your door, scissoring his fingers in and out. You’re clinging to him, he’s doing it so well your mind is shut, your eyes rolled back.
“Hear her, fuck… slutty pussy.” He huffs, grabbing you rough, he’s not delicate or careful like Cho, his grip on your thigh is bruising, your hands glide down his abdomen then, finding his cock over his pants, your phone is incessantly buzzing in your purse, you know it’s Choso, but you don’t really care right now.
“Please…” You whisper out.
“Please what, pretty little slut?” He murmurs, you should be offended but you’re not, you want more of it, to feel mindless, numb, good.
“Make me cum.” You’re hastily unlocking your door now, Satoru’s hands both press against your waist as you shut the door, and he has you picked up, effortlessly, your legs wrap around his hips as you all kiss, over and over.
“Bed?” He asks, you nod barely, pointing and he’s carrying you right to it, laying you down, somewhere Choso really has never been.
Fuck can’t you get him out of your head!?
You reach down between you both, stroking Satoru’s length, he’s long and curved, your thumb brushes on precum, earning his pink lips parted, a red flush on his porcelain skin. “I was missing all this?” He asks softly now, shoving up your shirt and revealing your tits that squish in his grip.
“Y-you were a dick.” You mumble, he chuckles, sucking on your nipple now, sliding panties down your thighs and rolling on your clit with his thumb until you’re dripping down his fingers.
“I still am a dick, baby, you’re just horny and mad.” He taunts, he’s somehow infuriatingly perceptive for an idiot.
“Just shut up, Satoru you talk too- ah!” Satoru’s got you flipped now, fucking obscene, dragging your pussy on his face, still in his fancy ass dress shirt, you’re still in a skirt and a top yanked down, his cock sprung in your face. “I haven’t…”
“No sixty nine?” He smacks your ass, and you tremble, bracing yourself on your arms as he drags his tongue between your folds. “Such a goodie goodie.”
“Fuck you, Satoru.” He laughs, breath tickling, so you suck him down your throat, he tastes good, his tongue is godly, but you just don’t feel that thing. You don’t feel whatever the fuck it was, and this proves it.
You shove it back as he shoves his cock in your mouth, swirling his tongue around your clit and then shoving his two fingers in your cunt again, playing with you over and over, pumping in and out, you’re clenching them like a vise as he sucks your little clit in his mouth. You grind on him weakly, crying out around his length, hair falling against his thighs.
He has his pants and boxers still half way on, your hands cling to them as he’s relentless with his tongue, sucking all of your juices up as his fingers fuck your gummy little walls. He’s hitting every spot you have, grinning against you whenl you’re cumming on Satoru Gojo’s face.
He’s moaning as he smacks your ass, still fingering you. “There, fuck… if you keep… I’m…” Satoru cums then with a groan, pulsing deep in your throat, you swallow the salty and slightly bitter taste down, his hum on your clit making you cum as you do, shaking when you cum again and finally pull up, shutting your eyes.
What have you done? Just what Amber was doing to Choso, and out of what, jealousy, need? Are you any better?
Satoru exhales, tapping your hip, and you ease off him, nervously looking away. “I’m sorry I came quick, your throat…”
“No, no! It’s good. I came clearly.” He exhales, planting a kiss on your lips, his glittery eyes dilated. “That was…”
“Fucking awesome, sweets. If you give me a bit, we can actually fuck.” He teases, dragging you on his lap now, you giggle then, breathless.
“Not just yet, this was a lot more than I expected already. We don’t even date or whatever.”
“You worry too much. If it feels good just do it.” You contemplate his words, more seriously than he intended. “All right, I’m out then sweets.”
“No pussy you’re out?” You raise a brow, he grins.
“I have your pussy all over my face, so shut it.” He smacks your ass once more, hopping up and getting dressed, you start to realize what happened, it’s slowly sinking in more and more, when you walk him to the door and he winks.
“Try not to look so pleased, Satoru.” You say, he grins bigger, snatching up his coat and throwing it on his shoulders.
“Got you off enough, I should be pleased. Don’t ignore me for a week again, it makes me sad you know.” He pouts, you can’t help but sigh, he’s gorgeous, he’s talented and fuck that was good.
But…
It feels so impersonal?
“Am I like a booty call now?” You ask, trying to hide your anxiousness with him, he shrugs a shoulder.
“I don’t take them on dates, I have standards. But I don’t label, so chill.” He pats your head now, winking. “I’m like your revenge fuck.”
“Oh god.” You roll your eyes.
“Nighty night. Text me.”
“Good night Satoru.” Satoru literally hops and prances to the damn car, but you feel it, the emotions choking you already, where Choso had snuggled and kissed, or he had tried to- you’d stopped it- Satoru’s prancing to his door and zipping away, clearly he got some of what he wanted from you.
Is this who you are now?
You take a shower, resting your head on the wall, shutting your eyes as you see it, over and over, Choso and Amber in that car. But you told him you were done, you told him there was no sex anymore, so what was wrong with what either of you did? What was this feeling like hot fire pokers in your throat, this clutching and pulling at your heart?
Tearing you in two.
If you were just horny and edged, Satoru should have scratched every fucking itch you ever had, he’s perhaps more skilled than Choso at a woman’s body, you’re sure fucking him would be fun, and there’s just no feelings. He would have been a perfect friend with benefit, not Choso Kamo, the man that you look into his eyes and he sees you, truly sees you.
The man you want in bed with you, every night, you remember all those nights sleeping next to him on the couch, hearing his gentle breathing or little snores. And now you think you can’t even be his friend, it hurts too much, and you think it’s pushed you here to do this, something you would never, but the rejection from Ino stung and now Choso?
Drying up you see the twenty messages from him, each one hurting more and more as you read through them all, especially the last one, which is like a knife to your fucking heart.
Cho Bear: Please, I’ll do anything, just talk to me. Just… still be my best friend, even if I want you to be so much more, I’ll take it, I’ll take just that again over none of you… please.
That was an hour ago.
You can’t talk to him now, you can’t look at him now, after what you just did, the tears start falling from your face, it felt so empty and hollow, pure pleasure without those feelings. Without feeling like the most beautiful, important girl in the fucking world, without Choso’s sweet and sincere words. The way he’d held your face and just looked at you.
It was never just getting off with Choso, the moment he kissed you, you irrevocably fell for him, and now you feel nothing but despair.
How does doing something not ‘wrong’ feel this wrong.
You put the phone down, you can’t face him, you can’t call him, you’re still so upset with him and now with yourself. You find yourself curled in a ball on your bed, a bed Satoru Gojo had just been in, fuck it happened so fast too, and now you know it even more so.
You’re in love with Choso.
What have you done?
What has he done?What have you both done?
A/N- Yep. It's a mess, I am sure ya'll are as upset and mad as I am writing these two fking idiots, but it's a slow burn despite their immediate physical connection. I always enjoy your thoughts, how was this angst omg! This actually made me upset but remember I write happy endings <3
Taglist: @erencvlt @antisocialinlw @aquamarine001 @maskedpacific @mima0127 @yxnnu @lana18918 @bigbird789 @angellliqua @ghostskilledmyaddiction21 @aldebrana @staygoldsquatchling02 @bts-psycho @lillycore @mysticalnightbeliever @wystriz @tokyolhtl @imabyssa @delicate-ray-of-sunshine @ivyvenus333 @ghostskilledmyaddiction21 @sparklydeerface @10honeybee01 @marie-is-in-the-dark @lavender-hvze @angelcakkess @bellasworlds-stuff @pauliiis-stuff @mysouleaten @city-of-lovers @teddiiursula @flowerbbybananamilk
(tagging the rest in commentsss)
#choso jjk#choso x reader#choso kamo#jjk choso#choso smut#jujutsu kaisen choso#kamo choso#choso kamo x you#choso x y/n#choso x you#jjk x reader#jujustu kaisen#choso kamo x reader#jjk angst#choso angst#gojo smut#satoru gojo#jjk smut
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thoughts utc :
It’s a little weird to me that some people want others who are the complete opposite to them because to me at least since as long as I can remember the things I wanted from others I would emulate it within myself, I would meticulously work to be the best version that in my eyes a human can be. Like if I was attracted to intelligence and I am, then I would work incredibly hard to be intelligent. If I was attracted to emotional maturity and sensitivity then I would literally ensure I am exactly those things, to the best of my ability of course. And while I am not perfect and I do hate fundamental things about myself, which were forced upon me to hate, not that I hate those qualities that I tried to perfect into myself, the essence of what I’m trying to emulate remains.
It’s interested me that people wish for someone their exact opposite, if that’s the case, change is very much free, why not be what you wish for a partner or friend to be like ? It’s confusing because the issue I’ve had for so long is that why does nobody notice the little things I do the ones I meticulously pedantically plan to do for a very explicit precise reason. It’s annoying. It’s so infuriating in fact. Sometimes I wish I could just grab the person and sit them down and just explain exactly why every single action I do is purposeful and intended. Why every single word and I do not even joke here or over exaggerate. Every single word I say has a meaning even silly ones like the or and or whatnot. They are filtered and selected with care because sometimes even tho the other might not recognise that a simple word like that could change the tone a little I do use the most preferable one possible. But nobody notices that. It’s annoying. Not because I care too much but because I feel unappreciated. Truthfully I don’t think anyone realises how much I care how much I invest etc. ik lots of people say they’re a yearner they care they’re pedantic but I swear to god none of you are like this whatsoever. No one. And if I find someone like this you bet I’m gonna propose to them asap 😭🙏 it’s like being surrounded by people who haven’t gained consciousness. Like they’re living in their own stupid bubble. It’s so annoying ugh. And when ppl think I missed a cue no the fuck I did not. That too is purposeful. It’s to teach said person to stfu or rethink or it’s meant to be a moment of repercussion for their actions. I am very much for justice and fairness so if I feel someone is being an imbecile with me you bet I’ll discretely try to put them in their place all the while acting silly and like I dunno anything. Or laughing about things or acting confused. Because yall suck hard and are lowkey a little stupid. Scratch that not a little but a LOT.
That is why I absolutely go insane when someone tries to rebut me or refute any argument I put out. It’s like wtf did you just tell me. Like do you even know how much prep and logic and reason and meaning goes into what I say and do ? While you pea brain just spout things out of your ass ✋😭 literally stfu do NAWT speak to me with your stupidity rn I literally explode (in my head) all the while trying to keep composure and act very nice and caring etc. it’s so NDIWKSKSK cause why are ppl so stupid. Why are they insufferable and dumb. Literally why like I thought humans were meant to be smart but it’s like I’m talking to someone who came out half baked and deformed. Or they were dropped as a child. JDIWWKAKAOQK
#.#dora daily#talked abt a lotttt here#gosh how freeing#to add : even me ‘venting’ (ew I hate that word) is purposeful and planned#in fact I honestly didn’t know ppl genuinely got comfort from talking abt their issues cause I didn’t feel that way before#I just feel Adrenalin or whatnot when I experience things because I love talking and that thing would’ve been a good tale#yk something other than complete stasis to talk abt#but only after my emotions started getting more intense and suffocating (I’m talking on the brink of suicidalness) is when talking abt it#makes things slightly better#but when I’m normal I don’t get it#when I do so however there is always a reason for me doing so; even if it’s for comfort I’m actively doing so for another reason kinda like#an experiment to find genuine proof or dispute claims I have in my head abt something or someone#it’s all very interesting seeing how people react and thus learning more on their mannerisms and thoughts#one of my biggest pet peeves is when people have the audacity to talk to me as if I’m stupid and as if I should reconsider#like no bitch I think YOU should reconsider because I doubt anything goes through that pea brain of yours; Goddddd#like excuse you but maybe you should have hope and trust in what I say. if I did not ask then no need to try to dispute with your weak ass#responses.#okay done I think !!!
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this is a stupid way to reply to that post because first of all it’s only tangentially relevant but beyond that u honestly should know how to respond to a fat person getting fitted for a dress if that’s literally part of your job. i had to measure a girl for a corset once who was apologizing abt her weight, and it was very easy to assuage her and also to point out that corsets generally look great on ppl with her body type because they’re able to fill them out better. that’s just an example anyway. or try smiling up at them and saying “i have a rule that you’re not allowed to be mean to your body while you’re here.” SOMETHING rather than just chuckling awkwardly in implied agreement (or the “i don’t think you’re that fat” that i’m sure many people attempt) like idk. do u not understand why so many fat ppl would feel a compulsion to apologize while showing you their bodies?? well maybe not since the cherry on top is of course the quirky mention of them being far too skinny to relate
#‘read the room’ shut uppppppppp#my favorite part abt styling people is showing them they’re more beautiful than they think. confronting some of the long-held beliefs#they have about themselves when their clothes are off. urg…
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I don't use Tiktok, never will, In my opinion I think the app should shut down. [ But that will never happen... So I will cope.] But god are ya'll are insufferable on there. The fact you have this strong par asocial attachment to Sebastian and claim that Zerum is ""ruining the character"" is just blasphemy and shows you guys know nothing to zero about writing and do not play the game whats so ever. I've talked to Zerum; Ive talked to the devs and mods ; and all the false claims and misinformation that's being spread like a wildfire IS CRAZY. Everyone's so exhausted. It takes just a couple of minutes to prove it's false but that would actually require these people to literally sit down and fucking read. Zerum never banned anybody. Zerum doesn't handle the bans in the server. If you got banned or muted, it was most likely the automod in the server that they have implemented to avoid people saying anything weird or sexual... [ A friend of mine got muted because they sent a gif that had a weird name to it; nothing related to the gif, the gif was fine and they filed a ticket and got unmuted. Its just the bot doing its job.] and even then the mods probably banned you for something completely unrelated...
and even then, can we STOP normalizing this??
Like this GRINDS my gears, it fucking rusts, it makes me want to break down and combust into flames- Stop. Stop. YOU ARE THE ISSUE. Creators want to create. Either for ourselves or for others, whatever it maybe people enjoy letting their creativity flow because ITS FUN. IT SHOULD BE--- FUN!!! We are giving you literally something free and something to ENJOY because we enjoy it just as much! This stupid fucking mindset being so normalized makes me SO SICK. " whatever is put on the internet is free reign!" you guys have ZERO respect for any creator; even yourselves and its so BLATANTLY OBVIOUS. You guys preach about "respecting artists/creators" till it doesnt fit with your agenda, because we should just "expect" our works to be disrespected and used. Like our feelings never mattered. Are we going to ignore the discussion of AI art too? Or copyright, or literally anything of that sort here? Yes, its the internet, there WILL be people who are so drastically cruel and do something you will not like. I do agree its best to ignore those kinds of people but that does not mean we should just LET it happen. It does not mean we should suck it up and take the blows. This is how people stop creating, youre killing artists, youre shunning them away because "its the internet, lol, dont get mad if ppl -" Stop it, you're teaching younger generations that it does not matter if you have boundaries or not and that your voice doesnt mean anything. I mean fuck, you put your oc here I can use it however I want then! Because you shouldve expected the moment you click post for other people to use it! Who cares right?! its OUR oc now >:)!!! No matter what the character is from, by a indie game, a comic, a book, yadda yadda. If youre gonna be scum, you are gonna BE scum. Artists should be respected and be listened to. If Zerum ships her oc to her oc, so fucking what? She created him. YES. SHE CREATED HIM. Just because she is a """co-owner" You forget she wrote and designed him. You forget its STILL HER CHARACTER. WHICH BTW, HE WOULDNT EXIST IF IT WASNT FOR ZERUM!! ITS HER CHARACTER- Not yours, and if your first thing that comes to mind " oh but shes ruining her character" then so what, its not MADE for you. Hell, Sebastian is only like 1% of the whole entire game! ENJOY THE GAME, ENJOY THE ACTUAL LORE. MAKE YOUR OWN OCS, GO WACKY WOOHOO AND ENJOY IT WITH OTHERS. If you make headcanons for Sebastian or any other characters! Great! As long as you are respectful who literally cares. HAVE FUN! Stop harassing and bullying and literally spreading misinfo; I am so sick of people with this mindset! This is why the internet is such a shit place to begin with because we just let this stuff happen. Grow up! Like PAInter said.." YOURE NO FUN AT ALL!"
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Some civilians were kidnapped by Mr. Freeze and the bats were trying to figure out how to get them out
Suddenly one of the hostages spoke up
"Dude! Your wife is is just ectocontaminated, easy fix."
Mr. Freeze turns to the girl who looks at him like he's stupid
"Don't look so surprised, I'm contaminated myself but your wife just doesn't have the right stuff to cleanse it. There's a charm on my bag and if you put it on her - clothes not skin - she'll start cleansing... No, no the pink bag, yes, don't fucking rip it off you hooligan"
Mr. Freeze was still mistrustful but every chance is important so the hostage was brought to him
"If you lie-"
"What would I get out of it? Now take of the chunky ghost necklace and put it on her as well to speed it up."
...he did so
The bats were watching with bated breath as Mr freeze took it off and flinched
"Yeah feels kinda weird to normal ppl but trust, it feels great when you got some ecto in ya. If you really wanna speed it up I can fall in a favor but I will need a sheet of paper and a pencil for that."
After watching his wife's vitals change for the better, Mr freeze immediately got them for her. She then started painting a weird circle and chanting in a language no one understood.
Then a white haired guy in a hazmat suit appeared.
"Yo phantom, can ya help out his wife... On the condition he let's all the hostages go and..."
The hostages were freed pretty much immediately and nightwing decided to charade to them it was supposed to say "he stays peaceful" but it was not easy to understand
"...yeah well...help his wife" she ended up saying, much to nightwings dismay
"So while he does his thing, your wifes vitals might change and your gonna think it's worse but they work with the ecto, you can check mine, we should get similar ones, you can keep my cleanse stuff, she should keep one around at all times and-"
The...hostage? Helper?... The girl rambled on while Mr. Freeze checked her vitals
"Yeah no, blood isn't gonna show up differently, I don't think this universe has the stuff to see it yet"
Wait what-
#mr freeze#danny phantom#danny fenton#dc x dp#dp x dc#dc#dc robin#batman#nightwing#dick grayson#oc? maybe#but idk#cryptid amity park#could be star#who knows#i dont
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