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gayregis · 3 years ago

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As much as i hate twn it's been very interesting seeing the surge of interest around the witcher and seeing how people outside of poland/EE interpret it and what they focus on? Like I dont mean this in any negative way at all but in a "its fascinating how people's cultural background shapes how they look at foreign art and it's weird to be part of the original culture that produced it and not the alien culture consuming it like it is with american movies or something" like it's just Fascinating

it is interesting, i don't have much to add as an american, but i think this should be an open discussion. i think cultural background definitely shapes how one sees characters interact, reads lines that were said, etc...

in my experience, what i've appreciated is reading the books once just to get my first impressions, then going through it over the past couple of years with additions and translation notes from a variety of sources (polish mutuals and other eastern european people on here that post about the witcher, r/wiedzmin commentary, random wordpress blogs, etc) to get a better understanding of what's going on in certain contexts and understanding some of the cultural differences. because i believe translator notes do not just begin and end with "this is what this word means," but rather are needed to understand whole characters and scenes, because of a variety of aspects. for translation in the sense of translating words, the syntax and diction changes a lot from the polish to english official UK translation. of course, some change is inevitable because of the way that polish and english grammar works. but in some cases it's so severe that it changes how the prose sounds and in many cases changes how the characters come off. @karanfile has spoken about this, where in english geralt is pretty wordy, whereas in polish geralt is brisk and curt, and it makes them entirely different characters.

here is also, of course, context surrounding cultural references, such as torque saying “goodnight” at the end of edge of the world, or the bounds of reason/limits of the possible with regards to villentretenmerth and sheepbagger. the witcher does draw on a variety of european mythology (and even extends as far as japanese mythology in season of storms), and many tales are utilized and inverted. but i think where an american audience will know sh’eenaz and duke agloval from hans christen andersen’s the little mermaid, we will be completely in the dark when it comes to princess adda, torque... i have seen many american and british reviews of the witcher praising it for its uniqueness and never-seen-before quality in including kinds of creatures from slavic mythology, and i can’t help but chuckle a bit because it’s not really a matter of uniqueness, just that the american and british audience are not familiar with the mythology! plus, since it loses that “familiarity” like these characters are living in a strange, inverted rendition of a story from your childhood, the message highlighted right on the page that “THIS IS A SERIES ABOUT INVERTING FANTASY TROPES” can be missed sometimes (though i also feel like it still remains obvious, with main characters who are blatant inversions of their tropes...)

another thing i have noticed (also spoke about this with karanfile and others in the discord) especially is how love and romance is interpreted by polish and american audiences. i was reading this wordpress article by sylwia of warsaw about the differences between how polish and american cultures concieve of friendship (i was thinking about how geralt calls dandelion his przyjaciel as his first introduction). (also here is another good article by her on the subject). a few things which came to my mind from reading this, and these thoughts are about broad cultures, not individuals!:

americans generally seem to not recognize that “a friend” can mean someone very close. the word “friend” basically stands in for any kind of friendly relationship, you may spoken to someone once or have known them closely for 20 years, and both are your “friend.” it is also suggested usually that one’s friend is at odds with their boyfriend or girlfriend, i.e., it’s usually suggested that people will prioritize their boyfriend or girlfriend over their friend, nevermind how close either relationship might be to their friend (again, there’s only one real word for “friend”). there is also attitude against this, in a counter-culture manner, in which you get the “bros before hoes” type of sayings. this attitude i think affects how many americans see geralt and dandelion’s relationship - i.e., it is read that dandelion is just geralt’s “friend,” so he is not important to geralt, and that being “friends” doesn’t insinuate any closeness, and is “lesser” to romance. this i think also affects how many geraskiers from twn have changed the dynamic between geralt and jaskier in their fanon, because much “happy” or “ideal” geraskier content is of them calling each other pet names, doting on one another, being overly and overtly romantic. geralt and dandelion have never acted like this in either netflix or the books, and in the books where they are actually friends, they do not treat each other like this and there is nothing to suggest that if they had a romantic relationship that their dynamic would change to fit this idea of what romance is like.

similarly, dandelion’s floweriness and “hyper-romance” (i have no idea how else to phrase it) in the books has been interpreted by some american fans as being genuine, cute, sweet, romantic, and admirable -- when it’s pretty clear that the intention is to make him look foolish and absurd. when he flirts with women such as detchka in eternal flame (the landlord’s daughter), he whines some bullshit (UK translation, made even more flowery and out-of-place by david french, “Forest dryad! Sylph! Fairy! O, Divine creature, with eyes like azure lakes. Thou art as exquisite as the morn, and the shape of thine parted lips are enticeingly…”) geralt and dudu (in the form of dainty) cringe at his performance. and this is who dandelion is, he plays with love and acts embarassingly dramatic and forward about it. but to an american audience, this behavior comes off as sweet, romantic, dreamy, desirable... not utterly stupid like it’s intended to?

i also think about geralt and yennefer. this is barring actual qualms about the writing of their relationship itself, but i have also seen american fans say that they do not act like a couple because they are not constantly doting on one another. and of course, misinterpreting yennefer’s sarcasm about the house dream in time of contempt as a genuine response (i do believe she also longed for a home, but was simply teasing geralt for being so optimistic as to think that they could ever achieve something like that, as it seems improbable (especially to her, as she is older than him and has seen more of life)).

bringing it back to what you have said, anon, i think “romance” is something the american audience definitely bangs their fists on the table to demand, and focuses very closely on couple relationships. not that this isn’t the case in ANY other countries’ cultures, but from my experience, a tie in for deep, blinding romance it seems to be essential to american storytelling. this is unfortunate to me because i believe romance is only one element which makes the witcher strong.

this attitude is also highly reflected in netflix’s witcher series, as they did not show how geralt and jaskier are close friends, did not show how geralt is ciri’s father, and did show geralt and yennefer together, BUT with the caveat that they ruined their entire relationship and made geralt insanely dominant, merciless in rebuking and taking advantage of yennefer. romance is prioritized and it’s only a certain type of romance that is...?

i invite more discussion on this post, if anyone else has thoughts, reblog at will

#ask #anon #the witcher #the witcher netflix #me: 'i dont have much to add' / me: [adds]

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tobiosmilktea · 4 years ago

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can i get some GOOD headcanons on kageyama, kuroo, oikawa, and terushima drunkingly confessing time there best friend? similar to how tsukki did it in the number neighbors au 🥰🥰🥰

drunk confessions w/ kageyama, kuroo, oikawa, and terushima

— k. tobio

OK HEAR ME OUT

kags is the type to be hella emotional when he’s drunk, like full on sobbing or just being moody for no reason

it’s definitely not that bad at first, i would think he could handle his alcohol pretty well but once he get a couple shots in THAT’S when moody kags come in

with you being the designated sober for the group, you had to not drink ofc

out of everyone else in the group he’s one of the more difficult ones

near the end of the might where you had to take everyone home, you literally had to force a sobbing kageyama into the uber

“wHY THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO DAMN CUTE FOR?”

homie would be choking in between sobs as you literally apologize to the driver

ngl it’s kinda hilarious

drunk kags = simp kags

“y/n ur so pwetty 🥺👉🏻👈🏻”

like DEADASS HES AN ENTIRELY NEW PERSON

but if he isn’t showering you with compliments, he would be crying into your shoulder about how stressed he has been bc of volleyball

“coach said my sets are getting weird 😔😔”

and then you would sit there awkwardly laughing as you tried your best comforting him

you would run your hands through his hair and he’s literally about to self combust from the contact

by the time your uber arrives to his apartment, trying to pull him out of the car is harder than pushing him into it

his six foot one ass really be making it harder than it should be

once you do finally get him out of the car, he’s completely slumped over you and you try your best to lead him back to his place

his muscular arms strategically placed around and over your shoulders as his feet basically drag on the ground

“y/n~ where are we going?”

“back to your apartment, tobio.”

this is the part where he groans and immediately starts resisting

the thing is it doesnt last long considering he’s completely fucking drained, if anything the moment you past by the threshold into his apartment he was already halfway unconscious

your muscles strained guiding him to his bedroom to which your literally just plop him onto his bed

you sigh to yourself as you felt immediate relief on your body

after a beat or two passed to regain some strength and energy, you tug on kag’s body again to make him properly lay on the bed rather than being at the cusp of falling off

“you’re so fucking heavy, tobio.” you pull his bedsheets over him, “also don’t get out of bed or else i’ll kick you.”

honestly he looked so cute as he was in the process of passing out

“y/n?” he called out before you could leave his side

“hm?”

it was then his right hand would find yours and pull it close to him, mumbling: “you treat me so well, y/n... no wonder why i’ve been in love with you since high school.”

perhaps you ended up not leaving his side that night

— k. tetsurou

homie won’t leave you alone while you guys are out drinking

HES VERY PROTECTIVE

he literally refuses to leave your side as both of you were drinking

i would say kuroo has a pretty strong alcohol tolerance but ngl yours is stronger fr

this obviously led to kuroo getting completely shitfaced at a much quicker pace than you and when he’s drunk, it’s obvious

like REALLY obvious

he’s most definitely a giggly drunk

he probably laughs at every little thing with that obnoxious hyena laugh you love to hear so much

if there was ever a moment you two did split up, you would immediately know where he was the moment his loud ass laughs literally thundered throughout the entire bar

“excuse me, have you seen my friend? he’s tall, has black hair that look’s like a chicken’s—”

*CUE LOUDASS HYENA LAUGH FROM ACROSS THE BAR*

“oop- nevermind”

you were literally on your way to fetch him as it was getting super late and the both of you needed to go home when you saw him stumbling farther away from you

“kuroo! where the hell are you going?” you would shout over the loud conversating crowds and music

he ultimately didn’t hear you as he continued walking towards the bar

you grumbled as your eyes stay locked on his large figure to which he starts climbing a bar stool

“oh my fucking god—kuroo!!”

this dude literally CLIMBS ONTO THE BAR

“LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!!” he yells over the large crowd, everyone’s attention is on him and you were immediately struck with second-hand embarrassment

“MAY I HAVE YOU ATTENTION PLEASE! I JUST WANTED TO SAY THAT I AM LITERALY HEAD OVER HEELS FOR MY FRIEND Y/N!!”

when i tell you were wanted to drop dead then and there

your eyes widened in shock, your mouth parted, and you stood there completely paralyzed as kuroo points you out in the crowd

everyone surounding you turn towards your figure and your cheeks immediately flushed a bright red and your heart suddenly beating a thousand beats per minute

“IVE LIKED YOU FOR AGES.” kuroo continues, “AND I JUST WANTED TO KNOW IF YOU FELT THE SAME”

silence filled the club like a wet blanket as you nervously chuckle

this was so awkward like it’s not even funny

“well?” a random guy from across the bar shouted

you purse your lips, “if i say yes, would you get off the bar and take me out on a real date?”

the biggest smile melted upon kuroo’s lips as he laughs

he jumps off the bar and practically cuts through the crowd just to pull you into the tightest hug you’ve ever received

“god, you’re so drunk.”

“it was my only way of getting myself to finally say it.”

— o. tooru

if you think this boy has attitude when he’s sober just wait until he’s drunk

like literally he’s so mfing sassy and for what reason ??

i dont even think this boy drinks that much let alone has a high tolerance of alcohol

oikawa’s a lightweight (i said what i said 😤)

literally if he downs anything more than three shots, he’s a literal goner

not to mention HES ABSOLUTELY WILD

drunk oikawa — the wild, sassy one

i’d say he’s pretty loud, but def not as loud or confident enough like kuroo to stand on a mfing bar and confess his love

nah, if anything, oikawa’s more rowdy when it’s a party at someone else’s house

he knows to keep himself in check if he’s drinking in public (like he knows from experience and almost got arrested one time for public indecency but it izz what it izz)

so he practically learned to control himself, but if it’s a house party ??

GIRL, YOU GOT A WHOLE STORM COMIN

knowing that it’s at a friend’s house, especially if it’s your house, he’s letting himself get completely loose

he knows you’ll take care of him anyway

throughout the night he’s literally messing around with friends, maybe a game of beer pong would usually get him drunk

put once the party’s over, he would usually be the last one to leave as he was left on your couch passed out

you didn’t even notice he was there until he started snoring

you couldn’t help but laugh at his adorable unconscious state, it was almost as if you wanted to leave him be, but you knew he had to get back home

so you stroll towards his slumped figure on the couch and kneeled on the ground

his cheek was pressed up again one of the cushions and he was dribbling a bit of saliva but you ultimately chose to ignore it

“oikawa,” you muttered as you rubbed his shoulder and shook it

he wouldn’t really respond for the first few times, but after repeating his name after a while, he would start to stir

he would groan and could barely open his eyes

half-lidded, a smile forms on his lips at the mere sight of you

“hey there gorgeous.” he slurrs through his teeth as he continued to stir

“c’mon, get up you gotta get up and go home. i called an uber for you.”

you tried helping him get up, but he just plops down again

“why can’t i stay wit you?”

“cause you don’t live here.”

“i would if we were together.”

your brows furrow in confusion, “what do you mean?”

“i always wanted to live with someone i really liked... and that’s you.” his words were almost incoherent how slurred they were through his drunkened state

“you like me?” you asked just to reassure what he mumbled was truly what you heard

he nods as you brush his tangled jungle of hair out of his face

there was a deep onset of crimson blush that appeared on your cheeks as he did so, your heart beat quickening it’s speed as you sighed in contrnt

“you act like i didn’t know this whole time. you’re quite obvious about your feelings, oikawa.”

— t. yuuji

you and terushima were club regulars

each weekend you were out with him club and bar hopping just for the fun of it

but lately, the more often you do things the more desensitized and bored you get of the same activities over and over again

you and terushima sat in both of your car ready to drive to downtown where all the clubs were when you both lazily sighed

“i’m not really in the mood for loud music and socializing.” you would confess, ready to perhaps hear terushima’s jests of you being a party pooper

but instead he sighs and agrees to your surprise as he’s typically the one dragging you to these places anyway

“same,” he mutters. “i think i’d just hangout with you tonight.”

there was a slight tone in his voice as he peaked at you that you couldnt exactly pinpoint as if you were waiting for the catch

“i still wanna drink though.” he added, there it was

“good call”

from then on you stopped by a convinient store where you and terushima buy the cheapest six pack of canned beer

in the end alcohol was alcohol and you both didnt care about the quality

this was the only case in which you had a lower tolerance than terushima as he could literally handle the strongest of liquors and still act sober

it’s kinda scary as sometimes you can never tell whether or not he’s actually drunk

but as he is a sober drunk, the only way you can tell that he’s absolutely blasted is that he becomes brutally honest with you

that brutal honesty sometimes comes with a childish offhanded joke that you would roll your eyes to

not to mention he sometimes becomes a bit of a perv too

“your ass looks better in the dress you wore last weekend” was one example

and because you both wanted some quiet for once on a late saturday night, you drove all the way to the park where it was quiet enough for you two to relax

terushima had held your hand to help you walk up the steep hill to the top of the park in which oversees a great view of tokyo

with it’s pretty city lights shining upon you two, you and terushima settle yourselves on a bench and crack open your beers

you and him cheers as you two silently sipped at the alcohol

by the time both of you were in your third can of beer, it was obvious terushima was completely wasted

“not gonna lie,” oh here it comes, “your driving sucks.”

you couldn’t help but laugh at his honesty

a laugh that he likes so much, it sounded like heaven to his ears and he wanted to make you laugh again and again

“i mean, you’re the one whose making me drive you everywhere all the time.”

he scoffs, humming in response as his half-lidded eyes flickered towards you, admiring how the moonlight reflected upon your face as you breathed in the sky

“you’re so beautiful,” he practically whispers.

“hmm?” you turn towars him with you eyes coated in honey

god he was in deep

“i like you.”

it honestly shocked you at first as your eyes widened into saucers

it was straight and brutally honest confession

just how you like it

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu headcanons #kageyama x reader #kageyama headcanons #kageyama tobio #kuroo tetsurō #kuroo x reader #kuroo headcanons #oikawa tooru #oikawa x reader #oikawa headcanons #terushima yuuji #terushima x reader #terushima headcanons

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vr2 · 4 years ago

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haha anyways genshin must be on some wild fucking shit if they think theyre gonna try and drag out their main story for like 2 years. on god having like half a year between main chapters of its already weak spindly little story is like mindboggling decision i do not trust your storytelling skills at all to make any of the hype worth it but i also think thanks to the general playerbases inability to read they will continually feel disappointment at how poor genshins main story content is and how it is purveyed to the reader especially in comparison to the lore which is completely jarring in quality of delivery.

in the archon quest at the end of liyue chapter you get a lore dump from zhongli where he just stands there and gives you like 3 quest prompts about shit that exists for no reason other than idk “they needed to put the plot threads in there asap and they forgot they had an entire world to do it in” and then that mf disappears. forever. literally exiled from the overworld unless you pay like ninety quid to summon him on his banner. not to mention every single other npc you meet will never appear again outside of their instanced quests. it’s such a weird jarring end point that you’re left stranded in and its not only a frustratingly awkward delivery, it honestly just seems pointless. why couldn’t there have been an extended epilogue that involves talking to the npc character FROM inazuma, talking to beidou who is a pirate with an electro vision about idk ... travel and her ELECTRO vision being granted which is a feat she in known for in the lore of liyue folk. it could even be someone from the qixing like ningguang who surely would know about the status of foreign nations or keqing who has an electro vision and would absolutely have something to say about baal’s stance on things and her condescension towards humans. god it could still even be zhongli just space it out, let him invite us to dinner and chat over liyue cuisine and let inazuma come up naturally thgouh paimons huge appetite to eat new things. not only would the pacing be better, the plot threads be put in a way where you dont immediately forget them because they’re being rapidfire talked at you, but it would be a great way to make the character seem like theyre people with lives and not just trying to move the plot along and be on their way.

conversely, the story of arundolyn and rostam, the legends of mondstadt and the ordo favonius, the lion and the wolf, the building hints towards the cataclysm of khaenri’ah and what kind of nation earned the scorn of the gods -- its all slowly fed to you piece by piece linked through artifacts, world lore, in-game books, weapons and sometimes the world itself. you uncover things as you explore and the more thoroughly you explore - the more you discover! it’s rewarding, it feels natural and its some of the most fun you have piecing together stories and building out this strange world like some kinda anime historian and it encourages theorycrafting rather than a concrete set of events and characters being straightforward. its genuinely interesting that theres a whole society and cast of characters from the days of yore who are intimately connected with our current cast and the world we live in but also very much their own interesting characters who hold their own legacies and wills, carving them into the stars for ill or good.

its almost as if the main quest writers and the lore writers are completely separate, work on different floors and they dont ever meet because why ... why on earth would you deliver critical parts of the main story in such a blatantly poor way and make it have none of the nuance and intrigue as the worldbuilding? in a game that is designed for the express purpose of making people sympathetic and invested with characters to spend silly money on them? you think your paper thin story is going to let you do that? no gacha game is allowed to have storytelling subpar to the most average middle of the pack lightnovel and get away with being a gacha game. your story has to have at least a few moments where i am dazzled, daresay fucking delighted, at least a second where i have to stop and say ‘this is cool as hell’ or ‘FUCK ITS HAPPENING’ or else it is well and truly expendably worthless non-product! you have to be a little more ambitious than making some normie shit and try and make the story have a little heart! i dont doubt that they can do it, im sure there are talented writers there since i like a lot of the characterisations but man, let em free you need them no more than ever

the only thing i can think of that explains how watered down the story feels in comparison to lore, is a fear of making people ‘read too much’ in the main quests which honestly doesnt seem to be much of an issue to them. lanternrite wasnt that long but the sheer amount of npc dialogue feels staggering because its all ultimately ... inconsequential. we have no investment into these npcs and theres like 15 odd quests of it, it goes from cool world flavour text to genuinely feels like its taking up space all because they are trying to endear you to the lives of these generic npcs when you’d rather know like even one thing about chongyuns life and daily routine or xinyans performances. being able to see kaeya for one second even was the most fun and even then i was still disappointed cause its like bro? you didnt even let him do anything and it was JUST him? in the world there are so many characters explicitly referenced but never utilised and it makes their complete absence even more noticeable and frankly fucking baffling? not even fate episodes for all of our 12 SRs? actually nevermind, even the character stories are somehow unforgivably generic!

honestly i feel like the best event so far was the unreconciled stars event but by my standards it definitely felt like ‘solid gacha game event story’ with a touch of something more interesting with the inclusion of scaramouche’s lore insight. i was hoping this his how events would be in genshin, i really thought that this was the ‘standard’ but for some reason, its beginning to seem like that event was a bit of an outlier? i would gladly take less events and have them be more like the unreconciled stars event, with character interactions and slowly improving and hashing out who these characters are over never-ending carousel of random events that are mostly fetch-quests or fluff.

idk man its just a strange mess of me enjoying genshins world and theorycrafting, loving playing the game and exploring but feeling like the ball is not bein dropped but violently slammed into the ground by the sheer lack of character content whilst being praised by everyone under the sun for ‘story’ and ‘characters’. m*hoyo do better bitch! you already made such a good roster of characters now fuckin do something with them! stop releasing new characters without bothering with any of the existing ones! i beg of you!

#damn you ren #if i like anything in any capacity i immediately have to criticize it sfhajshfsa ITS JUST HOW IT IS .......#the adding characters to gacha but not even utilising them in story is my LEAST favourite thing a gacha game can do #gacha games are ALREADY on thin ice for the sole reason they are gacha games but man genshin really thinks they can get away with that?#im not somebody who cares too much about spending money on gacha games but genshins system is completely unrewarding even for 'early' gacha #the fact that like half the characters DO NOT EVEN HAVE STORY QUESTS? NOT EVEN LIKE AMBERS SHITTY GLIDING TUTORIAL???????????#u rly think i am going to play 3 years of current genshin for khaenriah chapter? do u think you are fgo!?#i also gate that fgo made the lostbelt release schedule like that because EVERYONE ELSE thinks its cool to copy them #completely misunderstanding that i am here for kinoko nasus wacky adventures and no other gacha game should get funny ideas #its the normies for me that make me feel insane. sir this game is incredibly fucking stingy please dont pretend #i do not care to see people try and defend multimillion dollar corporation m*hoyos gacha practices #esp with the whole zhongli and constellation shit like .... if this game did not have its world it would be dead in the water #renshin impact

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asterekmess · 4 years ago

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S3A - E3

Hiya, back with another episode of the rewatch. I am...not looking forward to this episode. *deep breath* here we go.

Read More’s save sanity

Hey, so I know this is a really heavy first bullet point...but isn’t anybody else uncomfortable with the image of a black boy running around out of his mind with fury and bloodlust and going after little...white kids? Am I reading too much into this? I know Cora’s running around too. I just...whatever, I’m just gonna keep my mouth shut.

Straight from way too heavy to way too light. So that girl dropped a big jar of fireflies, but they say that fireflies that actually glow aren’t native to California, which would mean these are part of the whole magic thing going on, and at the end of the whole firefly thing they get rid of all the fireflies. So...what if someone finds that jar and opens it?

...nevermind the jar opened up somehow...

Okay, listen, I have a petty and biased hatred for this moment with Scott. Like...is it so hard to say, “I had to get the kids he was chasing away from him?” It’s not like they don’t have time..they just stand there in silence for a while. I also hate the savior pose he strikes there with the kids clinging to him. Like, I get that it’s a very common trope. I still hate it. I use the anti-scott tag for a reason, let me be salty.

why te fuck does Scott FLOAT in the intro?

Lydia has seriously emptied an entire bottle of ibuprofen? She should be dead. Or at least at a hospital. She’s too smart not to know how dangerous it is to take ibuprofen (even the recommended dosage) for too long at a time.

Lydia...Lydia knows about werewolves now. Did no one tell her about this whole escape plan for the betas? She could’ve helped.

Cue the shitty SFX running. Y’all look ridiculous.

Man, come on. Are you seriously telling me that Derek never played hide and seek with his siblings? Like, they’re werewolves for fuck’s sake. Derek never did fake chases through the woods? He tracked PETER for christ’s sake, all the way across town. He was like yards behind him before he got shot that one time.

This show relies a lot on character’s losing time and just finding themselves places. Jackson losing time, Lydia losing time. Lydia losing time again, but in a new way. Later, it’ll be Stiles losing time. I’m just saying, it happens a lot.

It’s fucking august in California. Does it actually get that cold? Poor Lydia’s nose is always red cus she gets forced to wander around in the dark and freezing. I can see her goosebumps when she kneels next to the pool.

I know it’s gotta be hell on her voice, but I think it’s so interesting the way Lydia screams and how it has to jump around the chords before hitting that one note. I don’t know why I find that so interesting. Guess it just reminds me of a wolf howl. Seriously, look ‘em up. Weirdly similar. GO Holland!

What do you mean the last memory that she had of her mother, Scott? You should’ve told her RIGHT THEN. Right off the bat. There was TONS of time between her getting bit and when she died. You should’ve told Allison right away. Fuck you, you had all of spring break!

god fucking damn it now I’m crying again. Erica, sweetie...Derek honey...

I’m trying to get past the tears to enjoy this romancey stuff, with the candles and the lil lamps, and the LOTR references. I’m really trying.

This is totally not what I should be thinking about while watching the two of them make out, but like, so does Caitlin not go to their school? She just sort of appears a couple times, but Stiles doesn’t seem to know her. Maybe she went to the same school as Heather?

don’t like bugs don’t like bugs ew ew ew ew

Hi cora!

Isaac! You’re somehow feeling better, even though you were apparently out of commission like an hour or two ago...wait huh?

I gotta say, okay, listen I just can’t help it. I know this is serious, but that lil smirk on Isaac’s face? I don’t think he looks smug, personally, I think he looks like he’s about to go play, go rolling around in the grass and leaves, playing with a pack member. He’s been alone for so long this summer, what with Jackson leaving. he’s had no wolves to play with (cus’ we know Derek’s a grump). As worried as he’s gotta be, I bet he’s having funnnnnn.

I..uh..Cora what sound is coming out of your mouth? That..that does not sound like a wolf. That sounds like a wild cat of some kind. Wolves don’t make that screechy noise. They bark and growl, like the sound that came just before. That doesn’t even sound like a roar. Who gave you cheetah sounds?? You’re canine, not feline. Come on they did SO WELL with Derek’s sounds-- No. NO Do not tell me they gave Cora cat sounds cus she’s a chick. I’m gonna fight someone. (For those of you interested, if you scroll to the bottom of this webpage, you can listen to wolf growl snippets and they’re such good quality (I think the bark snippet is broken tho). Listen to those whimpers and whines too, fucking fascinating. I love wolves. Such beautiful animals.)

Cora with Isaac and Scott attacking her and growling at her: “Fuck you, I’ll bite you!” Cora with Derek just growling at her: “BYE bro!”

Stiles, honey! I missed you! Literally, just the sound of your voice makes me feel better.

Scott, Seriously, Derek just said you haven’t tracked either of them anywhere near the pool. You’ve both been following them all night! Yeah, they’re dangerous, but they couldn’t get to the pool and back in time to fight you! I”M GONNA SMACK YOU. DOn’t use that fucking patronizing tone of voice when Derek is TELLING YOU FACTS.

OUR fault? OUR FAULT? I’m gonna fucking *kicks a chair and storms off, grumbling* *Spins around, cus fuck it i’m gonna yell. it’s my post.* NONE OF THIS is DEREK”S FAULT. NOne of this is ISAAC’S FAULT. Fuck dude, I’ll even say that it’s not Scott’s fault! If it’s anyone other than the Alphas’ fault, it’s Allison’s, but tbf she thought she was helping.

DEREK SHUT YOUR PRETTY MOUTH. I swear to god.

ARE YOU FUCKING JOKING? DEREK WOULD NEVER SUGGEST MURDERING BOYD AND CORA. NEVER. He thought Cora was fucking dead and he just found out she’s alive! HE WOULD NEVER. NEVER. FUCK YOU. FUCK EVERYTHING. *Throws a plate* YOU KNOW YOU ONLY FUCKING WROTE IT SO THAT YOU COULD SHOW OFF SCOOT MCFUCKFACE’S SUDDEN FLIP IN MORALITY BY HAVING HIM SAY THAT “KILLING ISN’T THE RIGHT THING TO DO” OH REALLY Scott? REALLY? Killing is bad? YOU DIDN’T THINK SO WHEN YOU SPENT MONTHS attempting to commit PREMEDITATED MURDER of a GUY WHO WAS ALREADY DYING. MONTHS. Scott. FUCK YOU. FUCK THIS SHOW. 13 minutes in and I’m already about to chuck my laptop across the room. MY CAT WON’T EVEN CUDDLE ME ANYMORE I’M SO ANGRY.

And now I’m really fucking sad, cus’ I hate watching this poor girl get told she’s just hallucinating.

WHY does everyone go shopping at fucking 8 pm in Beacon Hills? What...Chris you don’t even have a day job.

I don’t...I don’t understand this scene with Isaac. Like..what exactly are they trying to imply? That he thinks she’s hot? All he’s seen is her raging around with fangs free and glowing eyes. And yeah, some people definitely think that’s hot. But like...that’s just so...what? I choose to read this scene as him just wondering about Derek’s home life. Like, “Since when do you have siblings? Why don’t you tell me these things? I have an aunt?”

WHAT DO YOU mean “Your world?” CHRIS YOU GREW UP AS A HUNTER. THIS IS YOUR WORLD TOO. He was YOUR dad. You’ve been a part of this WAY longer than Scott! Don’t blame the werewolves for ruining your life! THAT WAS YOUR DAD and YOUR STUPID HUNTER CODE’S FAULT.

OKay, listen, I have so many issues with this I need a therapist to mediate my conversations with it. FUCK YOU TW for bringing in Chris. I dont’ give a fuck if he’s experienced or trying to redeem himself. He is a HUNTER he has Slaughtered Derek’s kind for his entire life. He may want to do the right thing, but the right thing definitely doesn’t involved him Standing in front of Derek and forcing him to listen to hunter PROPAGANDA BULLSHIT. I’M SO FUCKING MAD. This was so inappropriate, holy shit. SO far beyond okay. Even the CONCEPT that werewolves wouldn’t be as good at tracking other werewolves as hunters are is fucking stupid. You said it yourself, Chris they can follow scent up to TWO MILES AWAY. Wolves can track their prey for weeks without losing the scent. Just because Isaac stepped on some footprints doesn’t mean he’s incapable of finding them. And what’s all this shit about them “Being able to rely on their human half”? NO? First off, minor detail. Werewolves aren’t half wolf, half human, dumbass. They’re all werewolf. AND The show has said like Ten TIMES that they can’t access their human form/the thought processes they would normally have during a full moon without an anchor, and Boyd and Cora are effectively anchorless on this moon. This is just utter bullshit and I’m so goddamn angry I don’t even know how to process it. “If you’re not trained like me you have no idea this print is Boyd’s” YEAH THEY DO. THEY CAN LITERALLY SMELL IT. DEREK ALREADY IDENTIFIED THE TRACKS. FUCK you.

ALSO. Getting REAL SICk of people slicing their wrists every time they need a little blood for a ritual or for bait. YOU CUT THE MEAT of the arm. ON THE BACK. WHERE YOU WON”T HIT a VEIN. DUMBASSES.

WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK DO YOU MEAN NINE YEARS DEREK? YOU’D BETTER MEAN CORA WAS NINE YEARS OLD, CUS’ THE FIRE WAS SIX YEARS AGO. and what do you mean you don’t have a lock on her scent? you’ve been following it just fine all night! Wolves remember human scents decades later.

Booooo, i hate the entire concept of wolves going mad on a full moon. It’s lazy and boring. Wolves are not vicious animals, they’re shy as fuck. THey don’t attack without reason. Werewolves should be the same. Full moon’s enhance their wolfishness, so it should make them MORE SHY. The moon should enhance whatever they feel, rather than just making them mindlessly aggressive.

“Primal apex Predatory satisfaction”? seriously? Shut the FUCK up Chris, I’m really fucking sick of your hunter bedtime stories.

....i hate this woman.

Casual reminder that Isaac wouldn’t suggest Killing boyd. Ever. I fucking hate these writers.

yeah yeah, running scene. blah blah blah.

See, I never really understood those fics where Peter just refuses to give anyone any info. He tells Derek what’s up constantly. He didn’t lie or hold anything back when he helped Derek figure out what was up with Jackson or how Jackson needed Lydia to be cured. He walks right up to Derek and says “Hey, so those Alphas clearly want you to join them and that means they’re trying to make you kill your own pack” Peter helps Derek all the time. He’s just a dick while he does it.

Look, I love this moment with Peter, his “Let Scott be the hero of his morally black and white world. You and I, we live in shades of gray” lines are so good, and they speak so much to his character and personality. And he’s right. But I hate that they built the scene around Derek planning to kill his own pack, and following Scott around doing as he asks. I just hate what they do to Derek here.

The dog whistles suddenly have no effect on their hearing? Love it.

Take a second to bring up a plotline you won’t explain for ages. I vibe with that, so long as it is eventually explained.

OOh, suddenly BHHS has a football field?

Not gonna cry, not gonna cry. FUCK I’m crying again.

I just...dude I’m over here trying not to completely lose my shit and cry like a baby, and Stiles is in the middle of panicking and losing his oldest friend and he still puts the dots together. Like. Jesus christ this boy.

NOW Derek? You choose NOW to take Every Single Step down the stairs? JUMP.

...what is this a cartoon? Glowing eyes in the dark? one too many sets? Yeah, yeah, I get it, they’re supposed to look like fireflies.

Why did you stop to look at each other after blasting them? Just go.

OH, yeah, of course Scott has to be the one to hear the extra heartbeat. Scott. Not Derek. Not the ALpha who’s senses are heightened above the a Beta’s. Not DEREK the ALPHA who has a PACK, which makes his senses even stronger that that. No. Scott. The omega. Because he’s like an inch closer to the door. Yah. Sure. That makes sense. SUre.

Dude I wish my high school had that much backup supplies free for the teacher’s to grab. Also, I hate this woman.

WHy were the lights off in the boiler room if she was in the back grabbing stuff? That..what?

OH. I forgot, so Caitlin’s out of high school? She’s...what, 18? 19? Okay, fine, I’ll take that.

Oh stop faking Jennifer, fuck you.

Crying again. dont’ mind me. This is Derek. Not choosing to kill his beta or his long lost sister. Choosing to die himself instead. THAT is Derek (it’s self-sacrificing and it’s because he gives his own life no worth, but it’s still him.)

HOW IS IT DAWN? THAT WOULD BE like 6 HOURS of standing around! Or did the sun not set until like 10 pm? Hm? This show has no concept of time, and werewolves are very time oriented. Someone take away the show from the writers. They’ve lost their privileges.

I hate this. I hate that Isaac shouts for Scott. Not Derek. That’s just so fucking dumb. I’m so tired of it. I’m just so fucking sick of it.

I don’t even wanna look at this. I hate this woman so much.

YOU REALIZE that the third Virgin was Taken. The third virgin is DEAD. the sacrifices have been made, and now Jennifer has control over people. This is where she starts controlling Derek. Right Fucking Here. He loses his agency the moment they touch, if not the moment they make eye contact or he gets in range. I hate it. I HATE IT.

BOOM. Episode three, and Stiles already has the villain after next figured out. He’s past the Alphas now.

Final Thoughts: I’m angry, I’m tired, and I honestly got very little joy or interest out of this whole episode. I hate what this show did to werewolves and how much insane Scott glorification there is and how every little thing HAS to be about Scott. Scott’s relationship with Chris. Scott saving the kids. Scott’s the one Isaac calls for. Scott’s the one who hears the heartbeats. I get that he’s the main character. I also hate that he’s the main character. It’s just so sad and pathetic and boring and just....ugh. I’m going to bed. I will try for another episode or two tomorrow.

(I promise I’m okay. Just go listen to the wolf howls for me in that link, huh? Listen to those beauties and imagine how amazing a wolf show could have been.)

#personal #TeenWolf-Rewatch #anti-scott mccall #i'm sad #but i promise not as sad as it might come across #just need a lil break

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crappyimagines · 5 years ago

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The one that got away (Part 1)

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Warning: angst, endgame and infinity war spoilers i guess. the timeline is fucked up so please nevermind it. annndd not proofread so doNt jUdGe Me lOlLoloLOlOL

Summary: you were the one that got away lol

A/N: I made this one for a friend of mine. I promised her a oneshot so here it is. @fruithot

For Jeralyn :)

Steve Rogers.

You loved everything about him. You loved how he keeps making the right things yet he was ready to break some rules for his best friend. He wasn’t too righteous but he wasn’t too much of a rebel either. You loved how he was such an old school gentleman when you first met him.

You were a new recruit for the avengers. Nick Fury, a guy who discovered you and your ‘special abilities’, was escorting you to introduce you to the team. You were really nervous because the people you were about to meet were a bunch of heroes who has done a lot of great things to save the planet from every sort of misfits. They were your childhood heroes and you were just too overwhelmed.

As you stepped out of the elevator with Nick, you found the heroes chilling in the living room of the floor and was just talking to each other. Their attention darted towards Nick and you and that’s when you felt really anxious but a guy stepped up with a heart warming smile.

“Hi ma’am. You must be Y/N, the new recruit.” He smiled as he wiped his hands on his pants.

“I’m Steve Rogers. Nice to meet you” He offered his hand for a handshake.

“Nice to meet you too, Mr. Rogers” you shook his hands and smiled.

“Oh. Please call me Steve. Welcome to the team” He gave you his famous charming smile.

That was the time when Steve was able to find a way into your hear. (As cheesy as that sounds)

You guys were like two peas in a pod. You were able to build a strong relationship with Steve. You two were the best of friends. You two were always there for each other. Your feelings for him grew and grew but Steve didn’t have any clue. That’s when your other best friend stepped in. Natasha was clear when she warned you about getting hurt if you keep up with the ‘best friends’ shenanigans with Steve.

“I swear to God, Y/L/N. If you don’t say anything, you’ll end up being crushed. You need to tell him how you really feel because we all know how dense Steve can be.” Natasha chided.

You laughed at her words but then agreed. You’ve been hiding your feelings for too long. It’s time to finally tell Steve.

There was enough reason to confess your feelings for him. The two of you shared some unforgettable moments that could be considered as romantic.

Y/N and Steve sat on a rooftop, taking in the bright lights at night. They’ve just finished a mission successfully and the ‘couple’ would always have their quality time with each other on the rooftop and would just talk about things in life and just have deep talks with each other.

“Do you ever just think if you could love someone knowing that you can lose them anytime?” Steve suddenly asked.

Y/N gave him a funny look but then answered. “Well I’d rather have spent a quarter of my life with someone I love instead of regretting every second of my life not having the chance to feel what it would be like to be with that someone.” Steve looked at her for a second when she spoke again.

“Have you ever loved someone but could never tell them how you really feel?” Y/N asked.

The two of them sat there just looking at each other. ‘This is it.’ Y/N thought.

‘This is the perfect time to tell him’

Right before she could say something, Steve stood up and excused himself back to his room.

Y/N sighed to herself.

“I guess it could wait.”

The problem is every single time you would admit your feelings for him, something will come up and you’ll feel that your confession is a bit irrelevant for the situation.

First it was Peggy. His lover back in the day.

Steve found out that Peggy, was still alive and of course, being the best friend, you are, you accompanied Steve with visiting Peggy at the hospital.

Y/N stood in the corner of the room as Steve and Peggy talked. The old lady told Steve about her life after Steve disappeared. Steve looked at Peggy with guilt but also with love and adoration. Y/N felt a burning sensation inside of her. She knows that he still hasn’t moved on from Peggy. He might never will. Y/N thought about how selfish it would be for her to force Steve into moving on and being with her when clearly, he wasn’t over Peggy yet.

After that, Y/N pushed the thought of confessing away. It never came to mind. Especially when Peggy’s niece, Sharon, texted Steve that her aunt Peggy died in her sleep.

Y/N saw how devastated Steve was and made sure to be by his side for support.

At Peggy’s funeral, Y/N remained by Steve’s side all the time. Everyone had left the church except for the two.

“Thank you for being here for me, Y/N” Steve smiled sadly.

“Of course. Anything for you, Steve”

“You know, you don’t have to do this, Y/N” Steve said seriously.

“I know” she sighed.

“I just don’t want you to be alone” she smiled at him as she embraced him in a hug which he returned.

There was the problem with Bucky. You helped him find his old best friend and helped him deal with Bucky’s memories.

After that, you thought it would be the perfect time to confess yet another problem came up.

There came the Sokovia Accords and Ironman helping the government with catching Bucky. The team was divided into two. You didn’t even think twice when you decided to help Steve with protecting Bucky.

“Y/N. It would really be great if you don’t sign the-“

“Don’t worry, Steve. I’ll always be by your side, remember?” Y/N smiled.

“Thank you. You really are the best friend, Y/N” Steve replied. Y/N smile faltered but she put a fake smile back on before Steve could even notice.

But what broke her the most was that time when she saw Steve and Sharon when she was giving him his old uniform.

You sat in the back of the car with Bucky as Sam sat in front, on the passenger’s seat.

Steve and Sharon were talking and the three of you were watching them.

Out of nowhere, Steve leaned in towards Sharon and right in front of you,

You saw the man you were falling head over heels with kissing another girl. You didn’t have the right to be jealous. You were never together. You never even told him about your feelings for him. You didn’t think it was appropriate to confess after Peggy’s death but here they are. Sharon beat you to it.

You never had your chance.

That’s the reason why you never got to tell him your true feelings.

#steve rogers imagine #steve rogers angst #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers oneshot #captain america imagine #captain america angst #captain america onshot #captain america x reader #chris evans imagine #avengers imagine #chris evans x reader

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sanrosa · 2 years ago

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04:40am

i think it's time i be honest and open about this. how i feel in relationships, or any romantic connections. what my love language is. and what i want.

i feel like... the concept of what i want in a relationship has gradually looked liked a far-fetched notion, yet it's so easy to obtain. i don't understand. why are the men i meet just not decent enough and soft and funny and loving and trustworthy and empathetic and patient and consistent and respectful and communicative and then have some emotional intelligence? like these things aren't difficult to be. at all.

but then, i guess... i need to learn myself. to learn to be these things i want kwa mna.

anyways, my love language is words of affirmations. i can't conceal it anymore. words of affirmation is high up there for me to feel love from you. do you know how much just a small meaningful compliment means to me? and do you also know how much a hurtful statement can linger in my mind forever and make me lose respect for you? man, words speak a lot to me. i am sensitive to the things i hear. (almost like i am clairaudient) so what i listen to or hear can alter my feelings for a while.

shit, i know this may make me seem sensitive or naive to what people could say to me. but i'm being very honest right now.

and that's all i want to be right now. honest. i want to be honest that i am tired of the shit i have put up with in the past. men who i have dated or done anything intimate with, they've either never complimented me or they've instead made it worse and criticized me. and even my parents who didn't understand the concept of feeding positivity to your children through words. "hey, are you feeling okay?" "I love you, okay? you don't have to worry" "you are the most beautiful and most precious thing ever. the world doesn't know what's coming for them, a smart, beautiful, talented little girl" "you are brave and powerful person. you need to understand that" "your soul is beautiful, your kindness means a lot to others." etc.

none of this stuff, or anything like it, have i heard during my childhood. none!

i just... was trying to hear these things enough to push me to feeling good and better about myself on days where i felt abnormal and wrong or guilty or weird in a sad way. but to be able to instead embrace the good in me. embrace my good qualities and not have to worry too much.

bc what can i embrace them from now if there's no base? where can my mind gather that i am actually amazing and smart and funny and beautiful person... if i've never heard of that shit ??! where? my subconscious knows nothing about that stuff. and at this point, it's too late, my brain is engraved in this mentality of being basic. or even worse: not worthy. of many things. [and then later down the line it turned into imposter syndrome]. because my god where was i supposed to gather that i should love myself more, love myself enough to be able to say no to stuff and set boundaries, or to push myself when it gets hard or to be okay with being different and going a different route as long as it makes me happy or to just show love to others as well because i know love within too?

i was never told these things.

yes, yes, i know you shouldn't need people to tell you who you are and how you should feel about yourself. spare me the confident talk that should make me feel bad about actually being more empathetic than logical. i can't help that i listen to my emotions more tf. is it so bad to be empathic, yet using my logic when it matters? should i just always listen to the mind and never mind the fact that i am human? i contain a soul as much as i contain a brain. they're both there with their functions. and you know what? i balance both. the world right now on the other hand... logic is just the one thing at the forefront of everything. nevermind being empathetic. nevermind caring about others. oh those are old times that dont exist anymore.

yuck. fuck that is just horrible. a horrible existence. all of us just caring about securing the bag, about getting at the highest point of the hierarchy, about obtaining all these things... that don't matter to our hearts. but just matter to our physical environment. no wonder we're dying of depression. we don't listen to each other's emotions. our emotions even. we barely take time to even do that.

man.

i just want... to feel again, on a beautiful note. i want to feel the beauty of life. i'm tired of looking at the sadness.

#strawberry mint series

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mommydragon-of-all · 6 years ago

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OC Interview Meme

This looks fun. Also some answers drastically differ depending on around what time this "interview” takes place. So i got thinking and since I was tagged by@sakurabunnie who’s getting to know my pre-inquisition Soren, i choose to time this before Inquisition. Then i was tagged by dear @hadiden-lavellan too, but by then i was halfway through his post, and hey why not, some looking back :) Thank you both!!!! :3333

For Soren (Lavellan):

1. What is your name?

“A lot of people have called me by a lot of names. You can call me Soren.”

2. What is your real name?

“It is actually Soren. Yep, just Soren. I lost my original belonging and i didnt take any of my families surnames. Not permanently nor in any way official.”

3. Do you know why you were called that?

“Oh well, my parents wanted a pair of short and strong names that ring together, even if they had to get a bit creative. Also, as i learned, a pair of names that can be lilted and growled equally well haha “

4. Are you single or taken?

“i am free like a bird. Does your nest have some extra space on a cold night by the way?”

5. Have any abilities or powers?

“Im a highly trained assassin, among … other things. If you ever get in trouble… *slides over a strange little object* flash this around the shady parts of any city. They will take care of the rest. But for your lives sake, do not try to lie”

6. Stop being a Mary Sue.

“ I dont think i ever used that alias… “

7. What’s your eye color?

“Oohhh you are welcome to gaze into them closer, yes ;) no low light excuses, they have their own, so just lean over… “

8. How about your hair color?

“ Oh yes that is harder to tell in different lights. Its dark red, like good wine or blood from the liver .”

9. Have you any family members?

“ I have tons. If you meant blood relation… other than my twin sister i have some distant family. Literally distant even, like few and far between, out in the world. Some of us exchange awesome birthday gifts some years though, regardless of the exact date. Who has time to time that. “

(Scattered by the wind, but firmly standing like the trees)

10. Oh? What about pets?

“ Sadly animals are deadly afraid of me. It takes just a sniff to run for dear life… Even predators… it takes a special blend of proud and crazy to befriend me it seems. I would kill for such treasures. Like that Hart i once fought for an apple in that deep forest and lately rode to far destinations… i think it starts to get even attached!!! If he sticks around im gonna call him Captain. But remember, Dont go close to him! For your dear life, please dont. He is easy to recognize. Big as a mountain and looks like “Oh, Shit”. “

(’Where to, Captain?’)

11. That’s cool I guess, now tell me about something you don’t like.

“ Those things are about to change. Or drop in numbers significantly in the world. Just wait. …as truly as i want to mean that, unfortunately some things never change. Like the darkness in people, festering hearts. There will always be things like betrayal, prejudice, hatred, discrimination, envy, greed, cruelty,... i could go on. People who mostly keep themselves above those shades of their nature are all worth to be protected.“

12. Do you have any hobbies/activities you like doing?

“ Oh there are so many awesome things in the world and so many exciting things to do! I cant even count them. Like there’s hunting dragons for one! Speaking of hunting, there is also treasure hunt and demon hunt and manhunt and wyvernhunt and countless others, the bigger and meaner the better! But then theres also MAGIC! Do you have any idea how awesome that is? Everything magic and everything it touched. Putting together and using magic objects for so many things! And spells??? Potions, lotions, weapons... And there are also PEOPLE! The most magical thing is the warm light in ones heart. And they are so various and unique! There are different languages and codes and symbols and oh the stories! And dance and music and pleasures and laughing and caring and helping and…. oh … haha… im sorry, are you awake? Please ask away. “

(’Ah, what a beautiful day!’)

13. Ever hurt anyone before?

“ I think you snoozed off and forgot about my profession already. :) “

14. Ever… killed anyone before?

“ Hahaha oh these sharp and pointy things and stuff arent for chopping and cooking vegetables either.”

15. What kind of animal are you?

“Pfffft i am my own species! Hehe! A unique hybrid i guess! But definitely a big animal, yes. Sis’ won that argument long ago, so there you have the answer. “

16. Name your worst habits.

“Hmm? What?” (*Muffs out with one of the interviewers -already leafed through-notebooks between his sharp teeth, booth on table...*) Hey! That is… how did you… *sigh*... nevermind

(exhibit 99: ‘”I’ll go straight there!”)

17. Do you look up to anyone at all?

“My sister, definitely. She is the best. She is indestructible in every way i swear! Gotta be the strongest person alive. She is also really cool. But hot. I mean explosive! Not that shes not hot, technically... she is my female version after all haha. And caring for me with great big sister love (*mumble*:even if i am like 5 minutes older), but dont spread that ;) Might harm her notoriety. I also look up to several of my tutors and many other people for many different reasons. People can be so many kinds of amazing.”

18. Gay, straight, or bisexual?

“You can not expect me to label my interests in a world full of so many differently beautiful people with warm hearts.”

19. Do you go to school?

“Yes. Life. 24/7. Got less intense since i learned how to survive and sustain myself, and grew a strong body to back up my needs and will, but there are always new things to learn and lessons you never asked for too. I had some actual teachers along the way too, but lately mostly i just teach myself what i dont just encounter by diving into new things. Which is not only fun by the way, you are bound to learn a few things. Then there are books, theories, researching, digging, honing instincts and reflexes, combining and refining techniques or theories, trial and error... Life is a bottomless school “

20. Do you ever want to marry and have kids one day?

“Wow, wow, you mean like.. babies? Sweet Fade, i wouldnt dare breathe their way, they are so fragile... little young PEOPLE, persons who arrived so recently and understand so little and cant even tell whats up just cry and i cant understand them, i understand every language but i can not understand babies for my life and ... and... thats terrifying! And do you have any idea how EASY it is to kill someone? And then there is that small bundle of vulnerability, my proximity could be lethal to it! And .... *sigh*... sorry just... It all would depend on that special person i might find who would want to keep me for life, for better or worse, and if they wanted kids... even if babies, i would be on board. I would do anything for that special someone. Even learn baby care... Bigger kids, well, i already have :D . In good care. If any of them were to be taken under my constant and indirect care, would depend on a lot of things. Right now they are much safer otherwise.”

21. Do you have any fanboys/fangirls?

“Most certainly ;D.But none of them know much about me, of course. With that comes a transformation of those feelings”

22. What are you most afraid of?

‘Im not afraid of ANYTHING!” *eyes instantly betraying* “Fine, fine, gotta be loss. Ironic, isnt it, for i have but what is on my person. Replaceable come and goes. Im mostly afraid of losses that arent even really “mine”, but others. Loved ones or even barely known ones loosing their lives or their light. Loosing my sister, myself, my heart... that is all i am. The only thing i cannot live without is my heart, i AM my heart, and loosing pieces of it or have it broken or freezing through a hole... I hate how selfish that is. But yeah. There you go. I still tend to leave pieces of it everywhere, and it only grows with that, funny how that works, but it also tends to get wounded on every turn. I fear the numbing cold. I fear the day when i cant hold it together and go on anymore.”

(from “When you are away”)

23. What do you usually wear?

“What you see is my whole wardrobe, hahah. But i shift and change to blend in from the dirt of Orzammar’s dust town to the shining halls of Orlesian palaces. Its fun. What i like to wear mostly are well covering clothes, that allow a great scale of mobility, but not baggy to catch on things. Made of high quality materials only. My clothes MUST be of great quality materials, more for comfort than durability. Heightened overall senses arent always fun. Oh and for outer wear i like leather, especially dragonskin stuff for light armor, and long boots are the only footwear i acknowledge, some with high heels, and a matching pair of long gloves from soft fine leather are necessary too. Long coats from mostly leather and all the necessary leather straps and harnesses and pouches and belt too of course. If it counts, all my current favorite necklaces with magical pendants and bracelets are a constant wear too. It also doesnt hurt if my clothes look great. But fine materials tailored to my body and my needs usually bring that effect without further touches.”

(*his gear gotta let his smooth ass move*)

24. Do you love someone?

“I love all good people. ...and some others”

25. When was the last time you wet yourself?

"Bahahahhahaa now thats some blunt question! It deserves to be answered truthfully. I wish i could say when i was a baby, but truth is i think it happened a few times during the wilder rides of intense poison training with blood magic assistance, but im not really sure, i was barely conscious through those parts from pain and all kinds of nasty sensations, i came to my senses naked and tucked in after them. I never do extreme limit pushing training alone. There were also times when i was subject to some blood spells and experiments unwilling too. I have some suspicious blurry memories that i have made all sorts of messes. Egh. Lets move on to more fun questions”

26. Well, it’s not over yet!

“Perfect!”

27. What class are you? (High class, middle class, low class)

“I live outside of such systems. But i took part in every class during my life, thanks to current families or goals.”

28. How many friends do you have?

“Plenty, but one cant have too many. Helping each other goes a long way. I tend to make some friends everywhere i go, but i have few close friends. The closest one is my sis’. She knows me more than i know myself, and she is always there for me, at any cost.”

29. What are your thoughts on pie?

“Pie? One of the most fun cakes. It was invented for throwing i swear!”

30. Favourite drink?

“Hmmmm... old, red wine, hot and seasoned, spiced with a nice kick of that special antivan poison blend. I dont recommend you trying it, but you dont know what you’re missing out.”

31. What’s your favourite place?

“Wherever i am welcome.”

(*one favorite place example. It is not Where, it is Who*)

32. Are you interested in someone?

“I am interested in everyone. Are you fishing for some special interest?”

33. What’s your bra cup size and/or how big is your willy?

“Hahahha oh you never disappoint! Well, it was a long time ago when i last i wore a bra, back when i could still pull off the young girl appearance, to get in paces and so on. I always made sure to have a proportional but quite evident bosom. Oh it was such fun, my long hair helped too, and i dished out that act spot on! Like that time in Val Royeaux, when the heads i turned waltzing in as part of a rich antivan court were spinning all around in frantic search in the chaos, while i walked right out as a male servant. Oh sorry, i got distracted. You also asked about my “willy” if i recall correctly. If you would like to measure it so badly we can discuss that later ;) “

34. Would you rather swim in the lake or the ocean?

“Hmmm.... whichever promises more sunk treasures and secrets. Some lakes hide quite the surprises let me tell you.”

(’Looks like a perfect place for some diving..’)

35. What’s your type?

“My type of what, exactly, dear? ;)”

36. Any fetishes?

“I am very flexible in many ways, let me tell you, in case you are planning to bend me to your will. And if id have some suggestions, well, let it remain a little mystery for now ;p”

37. Seme or uke? Top or Bottom? Dominant or Submissive?

“Depends. What would you like me to be?”

38. Camping or indoors?

“Nothing beats a warm bed and a well secured resting place. Especially with my... condition, and experiences”

39. Are you wanting the interview to end?

“Are you kidding me? You have such awkward, uncomfortable questions... Let me get a new round of drinks for us and lets do this till morning!” “What do you mean new round... when did this cup of hot wine get here? It has my name on it??? What the... I better go i think.”

40. Now it’s over!

“What? Oh come on, we just got to some really “embarrassing” parts! Talking about “embarrassing”, would you like to hear the story of my encounter with this qounari dreadnought captain and ended up on board to Ostwick? Maybe you can tell me some stories yourself too in exchange..” *puppy eyes+shining grin combo* “Well, im not exactly in a hurry...” “Excellent!” *shifts closer and pours more wine*

I tag @quizzikemen @pelle-lavellan @hadiden-lavellan @sakurabunnie @elalavella @nipuni and everyone who wants to do it! For those who already did this consider this a tag for another OC! Gotta love them all :D (if you feel like doing it. I always feel like reading it)

#finally i got around to finish this post #soren lavellan #oc meme #dragon age inquisition #dual wield assassin #male lavellan #screenshots

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323398149 · 4 years ago

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I need a new therapist. I dont like this lady and she makes me feel like shit. She was like what's your goal here but the whole point is that I cant think when I'm put on the spot like obviously I'm not gonna have an answer for you cause you're freaking me tf out. I would have appreciated a headsup like here fill this out or think of these things before our appointment. Or also just read my file before our appointment??? Dont tell me "have we spoken before?" Like wtf that's not supposed to make me feel like a number? I gave you my entire life story last time and we spoke for hours and I would expect that we could carry that conversation because clearly I DON'T HAVE A PERCEPTION OF TIME and to me that feels like last month so can't you just re-read your notes and prepare????

I feel angry with myself for even asking for help, she just made me feel like suffering on my own and venting to friends was easier than this. I shouldn't hate myself more AFTER the appointment than I did before. I was honestly feeling good today and proud of myself for following up multiple times to get this appointment and now I feel like crap because I couldn't coherently answer any of her questions like when I tell you after a very long pause that my goal is to be able to speak doesn't that explain to you that I cant answer your question cause my brain is blanking ?

And he microphone quality was ass and everytime I asked her to repeat herself she wouldn't speak any slower/more coherent and I just felt dumb but clearly it's not my headphones cause i talk to people all the time and can hear fine you dont have to make me guess your words? And also at the end she like was so rude when she asked what my prescription was for and where my pharmacy is as if i was some criminal for asking for a refill like her voice turned harder than it already was and i almost wanted to be like okay nevermind i dont want it if you're going to make me feel bad i regret even asking gosh I'm sorry i swear I'm not some junky university student i swear I didnt abuse it like but I couldn't even say all this because that's my whole issue and I'd much rather we did some sort of journaling system where I could write my thoughts instead of say them because like i just told you i can’t speak to people why dont you get that

why am i apologizing i hate this i feel so horrible and i haven’t felt this bad in over a month and i did not have the energy for this in the middle of exam week

i was PROUD of myself for coping and taking care of myself this year and not being depressed and now i just feel like shit like none of that happened because i didn’t tell someone? like it discredits all the effort i put in

and also i did journal whenever i wished i could make an appointment but couldn’t bring myself to make one and i did write down how i was feeling so it DID happen

why do i need a goal? can’t i just have someone to talk to and help me make sense of my brain, can’t that be my goal? i don’t know what i want to change because i don’t know whats wrong with me ive just always been this way and i don’t want to feel this way anymore

im so angry my appt was supposed to be from 2:00 to 2:45 but she didn’t even email me ahead of time and then yeah i took too long to speak and now i have a headache but i wanted to finish my essay by tonight.

i feel more alone and like i dont have an adult to turn to now more than i did before the appointment and idk what to do i want to die but i have to log back into work and have already gone over my break but im lucky because my manager has been off today gosh im just so mad at her and myself and i hated every minute of that and it did not make me feel better and i can’t do therapy out loud is my conclusion i need someone that will let me write to them

#personal #w21

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feckyeslife · 7 years ago

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we now return to a dramatic critique of “Four” picking up where we left off. Having just finished The Initiate, I needed to take a long break before coming back to this... writing.

(side note, I somehow skipped the Son and had to go back to read that about 10 pages into the Traitor)

THE SON

- Four waxes a bit poetic about how he’s not Abnegation anymore and it kind of amuses me because he’s not really Dauntless, either.

- Max comes in to ask/encourage Four into picking Leader. The smoothness of the process makes me feel a lot better about my own Leadership training fic scenes, though the fact that it takes over a year gives me pause because it’s implied in the next section that Eric had given Four orders on how to lead training in that interrum year. So... either trainee-Eric was given some power or he finished it quicker than a year. Or continuity doesn’t matter in this collection of short stories -.- Also he TAKES the role? Whaaaat.

Putting the rest under a cut to save all y’all’s dashboards. But there’s more. So much more.

- Zeke volunteers Four to be on a double date with him and it was the perfect moment to question if Four might have possibly been not-straight, but alas.

- Alright I know I was a bit tipsy by the end of the last read-through but how have these people already forgotten / not realized that Four came from Abnegation? It feels awkward and forced in this moment bc this is literally like... not even a week after Initiation. Not enough time to have legitimately forgotten to consider that maybe he was an Abnie.

- The banter about hand-holding is lame and awkward. No 16 year old boys banter about hand-holding, I’m SORRY.

- Also Shauna’s interest in Zeke is just *yawn* like I don’t care that she’s jealous of this double date.

- Someone was in Four’s apartment and broke a drinking glass. I facepalm and wonder why a single apartment would have its own kitted out kitchen when they have a MESS HALL

- Four’s internal thoughts about Dauntless wisdom of living life without fear are actually very nice. This is the side of him as a protag that would have been interesting because it’s less self-righteous as the rest of his actions and comments in the other books.

(for those just joining us, VRoth stated that originally the series was about Four as a protag and honestly it makes way more sense. And would have allowed Tris to be a very solid side character and *gasp* even a failed love interest to show that the world isn’t always perfect and you don’t always actually work with the girl you ~have love at first sight~ with)

- The training program includes tests to see how quickly they learn and Four - and the narrative - once again one-dimensionally claims that this is an Erudite quality and therefore odd. How freaking hard is it to acknowledge that intelligence is something that the military Leadership would need? Very hard, apparently.

- Max passes out info sheets for them to fill out and it’s like My First Fascism spelled out. Very dystopian and, again, a better cue for the reader than how very straightforward the tension was with Tris’ initiation. A little heavy handed but not terribly so.

- OKAY HERE AGAIN with the inconsistencies. Earlier I made the comment about him hiding his heritage and it was flavored with OH NO THEY CAN”T KNOW I’M ABNEGATION. Here during the double date, there’s a moment where Four is asked how he met Zeke and if he was a transfer. Four thinks that he doesn’t want people to think he’s uptight and also doesn’t want to cue in about his parentage. But the feeling is so different from earlier. Naturally this means that he just straight up lies and claims to be DB. /sigh

- Nicole is conventionally attractive and as flat as a pancake, character wise. She gets pissed that Four is being a shitty date - he is - but has to walk about because he doesn’t call her pretty.

VROTH THIS IS NOT HOW TEENAGERS TALK. I’M SORRY BUT WHAT THE FUCK.

“Personality is much more important that-”

“Than my unsatisfactory looks?”

- Shauna once again is upset that Zeke’s mackin’ on a girl that isn’t her. I’m yawning and bored that this is as dramatic as VRoth thinks the background relationships can get.

- I might actually vomit the next time we’re introduced to a side character whose entire description is just LOOK HOW COLORFUL THEIR HAIR IS AND ALSO SO MANY PIERCINGS!!!!! Sidenote, this was actually Lauren being re-introduced.

- please please please dont make me read through VRoth trying to describe code. i’ll do anything. no? I have to? fine.

A) Lauren explains shit too fast, for too long, and doesn’t give people paper to even make notes. that’s not teaching that’s torture

B) Eric’s a smug jackwad about already knowing it all and I love him for it even though it’s a dick move. Remember, the last time he and Four interacted was when Four beat the shit out of him after he conceded.

C) Why the fuck would Dauntless be writing their own code to do stuff? I get that you might need to tinker with settings or whatnot, but are we honestly jumping to a world where the program to call up a security feed is something that you have to hand write or piece together to get working?

D) the punctuation that VRoth has Four paying attention to are periods (fine) quotation marks (alright) and backslashes (nope). Not a semicolon? REALLY? What language is she assuming they’re using? 65% of all my code errors ever were misplaced semi-colons or improperly nested loops.

E) apparently the only errors they’re looking for are like Baby’s First Code issues because there’s not a mention of BASIC shit like loops, defining variables, or even having to decipher the logic of any of the programs which is, you know, how you do code review.

- Ah the intruder has to do with his mother. Alright then. But why the fuck did they knock a drinking glass down? Unless they’re two unrelated break ins.

- Cameras are everywhere in the world yeah yeah but what about when Edward gets stabbed? Ah yes, getting Peter caught then would have broken the plot so clearly they weren’t in the initiate dorms.

- So here’s where there’s basically confirmation that Eric’s been an Erudite pawn all along. I don’t have to like it, so I won’t.

- Four waxes on about acknowledging that he’s his father’s son and once again it’s slightly grounding as a character and further drives the knife into my metaphorical back that he’s such an ass in Insurgent.

- Evelyn is totally Jewish in heritage. Curly haired, hooked nose. Mmm. Part of me wants to extrapolate about the outright Christian nature of Abnegation versus the other persecuted people - the Factionless - but I’ll hold off because I’m too tired to do it well.

- Evelyn pulls the same crap about the city changing and people needing to pick a side. It’s classic dystopian YA lit and makes sense if only because we’ve all already read Insurgent and seen the city make those choices. But two years before that all boiled over, its a bit... meh. The dialogue once again is very heavy on crap like “Jeanine Matthews frequents Dauntless headquarters” and other crap that people don’t actually say unless they’re writing something down or making a speech.

- SINCE WHEN ARE TATTOOS ABOUT DAUNTLESS SUPREMACY? Where is this jump in LOGIC? Ugh ugh ugh the whole Divergents-are-better-than-everyone-bc-we-know-how-to-be-multifacited narrative is horrible and lame. Suddenly there’s active call-outs that people are faction traitors and concerns that even situated Dauntless feel like they need to prove themselves. Where is any of this? It’s all tell and no show beyond the special people like Amar and Four and Tris who have already been made special by the narrative paying attention to them. If we saw someone like Lauren concerning about being “dauntless enough” I would take it with less complaint, but instead it comes off as just WE GOTTA RAMP UP THE TENSION.

- There’s talk again about “if we believe that Dauntless truly is the superior faction” then blah blah blah, Eric’s ideas for training (which on their own make sense to me). Four gets on about the actual idea of choosing values over supremacy like a normal human being. There’s also this assumption that people getting kicked out wouldn’t kind of deserve it - again, it’s a military so freaking AL should not be in it, I’m not sorry. Four makes the assumption that the “small, smart, brave” wouldn’t be able to succeed which really shows that either people aren’t being trained to use their skills - christina did fine as a small, smart, brave girl in fights - or we just needed the casual reminder that Tris and people like Tris are the special ones who manage to survive and shouldn’t have. If I were Four, I would counter Eric’s arguments against the bs supremacy ideas and also support giving proper training and evaluation so that “qualified” doesn’t only mean big and beefy. But, hey, that argument’s tough to make. His arguments hinge on the whole idealism crap and doesn’t touch real goals beyond “take out the knife throwing” which of course isn’t going to impress.

- Max has Eric leave and actually is a bit... mature in the conversation with Four? He doesn’t talk down to him and it’s rather jarring compared to the earlier conversation. Four still thinks Max just wants someone to control which doesn’t mesh with this conversation or even really with the earliest one of the section. He seemed to genuinely think that Four had solid qualities but dealing with others in power clearly isn’t one of them. Or really, dealing with Eric.

- Eric gloats, fully in the evil villain role. I’m unimpressed. He works best as Four’s antagonist, though, rather than Tris & Co’s. Another reminder that the direction of the story has always been on Four and his struggles, not Tris’.

- We get acknowledgement that of COURSE Four’s going to be a good teacher because he taught Shauna that one time (because he’s a boy and she’s a girl nevermind the fact that she’s grown up here)

- The section ends with him leaving a message for Evelyn that one day he’ll support her but not yet. After he just had this section rambling about how he chooses the middle path to be himself and find moments of rebellion against the people trying to control him INCLUDING Evelyn. Doesn’t seem very rebellious to yield to the woman who doesn’t care about you as a person, just as a weapon or a tool.

THE TRAITOR

- .”Beatrice. That name is so wrong for her.” I’m like 80% sure that this is the only time i’m gonna agree with him. But also, I feel like i remember him calling her Beatrice in Insurgent sooooo

- Tris was fragile-looking when she first entered Dauntless. Not a great descriptor but not the worst.

- Two years later and he’s still broody mc brooderson. His supervisor in the Control Room reminds him it’s alright to have fun and he literally grumbles under his breath.

- He get’s Max’s password from the security feed because Max is bad at typing. I almost want to sin that just because even if you suck at typing, you can usually do your password (esp one that’s just numbers) entirely by instinct. But maybe - just maybe - Dauntless rotates passwords and Max just sucks. Either way, meh.

- Lauren’s part of the technical staff. An interesting (re)discovery [I had read this before realizing I skipped the other part]. She helps him to get a program to mirror Max’s computer under the pretext of a prank on Zeke. I’m a bit befuddled simply because... How would Four ever prank Zeke with a mirroring program? Like, they just watch security feeds and maybe write reports? I also feel like it reflects even more poorly on Dauntless that they’re cool with pranks like that. But, then again, Dauntless is a bunch of morons according to VRoth’s POV so, I guess I can’t be too surprised.

- The conversation /chewing out by Gus is SO stilted and awkward. We already got the info dump about taking feeds out of rotation but here we get literally the same explanation as Four’s defense. A good edit would have eliminated the awkwardness. Also, Four getting called out for being shitty at his job amuses me because from Tris’s POV in the other books, he can do no wrong.

- Four gets Edward and Will mixed up in his head. These are his kids for the past x weeks and he doesn’t know who the “blonde erudite” is? Sideyeing so hard.

- Max and Four duke it out verbally over the stabbing as Four insists that it’s Eric’s fault bc the kids are so wound up. And Max gets some niiice jabs in about how Four could have a better leg to stand on if a) he stopped insulting every superior officer in his path and b) didn’t back down on the leadership role. Also a jab that, hey, you know who’s 100% at fault? The person who STABBED EDWARD!

- Ugghhh Tris is Dauntless but the faction “isn’t really Dauntless anymore.” Dude you’ve been here 2 years. You refuse to work with the current system to help it to teach the real values. Like here, where you refuse to call Tris out for insubordination - or at least WARN her that she’s getting away with it - and earlier complained about how you got bitched out for stopping last year’s fights. Figure out how to teach real lessons Mr. “Great Teacher” while following the letter of the writing.

- He also pulls the “i’m hard on Tris because she can take it” line and I’m unamused. He had the time here to actually say what he wanted to say or at least a version of it that isn’t tempered by being a dick like he claimed ten seconds ago he wasn’t with her because he “respects her.” The amount of flip-flopping could fill a beach.

- he touches her back and it addles his mind. Either his balls are that blue or VRoth is laying on the one-sided attraction a bit thick.

- I don’t remember this scene being this long in Divergent, but at least Tris is getting credit for being perceptive about things. Even if that perception is just to put Four on a pedestal of “so much better than Eric/Dauntless.” There’s also more detail about how training had ACTUALLY changed to previously include padding and not bare-knuckle boxing. Six years ago. I’m 200 pages into this short story and this is the FIRST empirical evidence that Dauntless had changed before Four got there beyond early Fear Landscaping.

- Tris calls Eric jealous and Four spends a hot second considering that Eric might actually have motives and emotions beyond cocky. It’s the best I’ll get and I’ll take it.

- Two years into Dauntless as Four “tries a Dauntless expression” to tell Tris that she doesn’t look like she’s been crying. Two years. What a friggen outsider. Again, makes sense with the previous storyline but not really in the actual story because, gee, if he’s such a good Dauntless why is he an outsider? (well because Dauntless - even the non-Erics or Maxes - is horrible, don’t’cha know UGH)

- He discovers the plans for the attack on Abnegation and claims how this makes sense because of how much Max and Jeanine hate the Abnegation. Far as we’ve seen, Max doesn’t give a single shit about Abnegation, but hey, it wouldn’t do to have a villain who didn’t hate where the protag came from.

- Please lets note how even in these scenes, Tris has displayed no actual return affection towards Four’s tiny attempts at connecting with her. It’s all about Four.

- He goes to mommy dearest about the danger of Max and Jeanine’s plans. It’s regrettably the only logical thing to do. And mommy doesn’t care. The only interesting thing about this is that this is the only scene that doesn’t present the attack on Abnegation as an attack on the poor innocent Christians. They’re shown as liars and backstabbers, supporting Marcus rather than good hearted folks helping the Divergent. It explains Four’s desire to back his mother in Insurgent rather than the rest of the city.

- We hit one moment of Tris actually responding to Four’s kindness which I feel like I need to emphasize is the only time that he’s actually said nice shit without being a tool before or after it. Weird how girls don’t like that.

- Earlier Four couldn’t remember who the Blone Erudite transfer was but he can tell from the shape of a hooded figure that Al’s the third attacker. Mmmkay.

- UGH he hates the fights but he doesn’t resent how Tris beat Molly into a pulp and beyond because she’s got tits and Eric doesn’t. It’s as simple as that. Sorry, not sorry.

- Four’s internal dialogue: I need to find someone I can trust. This girl is cute and she also beats people into a pulp when she’s upset but this will never happen again and any further rage from her will result in me telling her to stop and be a better person but this is what connects us right now so it’s okay.

- Four makes a pathetic attempt to consider reporting the assault to Eric who uses it to rightly call out Four’s inability to control his kids. Then Eric goes over the villain line again and says it’s a way to tell who the strong and the weak are. Yawn.

- Holy balls, Shauna and Zeke get brought in to be Four’s muscle and scare Peter. I get why we never saw this through Tris’ POV but you THINK it could have maybe been mentioned? Also we get a tiny glimpse into Dauntless culture as they threaten to ruin Peter’s reputation forever, etc etc. Not that any of this really matters because all Dauntless are dumb, remember? Only the special main characters matter.

- Zeke also makes a vague insinuation about Al falling into the chasm and I’m suddenly a bit astounded as the next scene is, well, Al’s body being dragged up. Four realizes he’s been a shitty instructor and a choir of angels sing “of course, you idiot”

- There’s the scene of Tris and Four after Al’s death where he attempts again to give her half answers and sideways comments that only serve to frustrate her and me. And the stupid line about pushing her until she breaks because he thinks how it doesn’t mean he wants to hurt her but it’s so CLEARLY not his actual goal in literally any of their interactions, even from his POV! Where does this line come from? His imagination?

- We flip-flop again, this time about how most of Abnegation IS actually good don’tchaknow

- There’s the re-do of the fear landscape where we go back to other-book canon where jumping off the side is all well and good because you don’t need to have a perfectly logical reaction to the landscape. Mmm. Tris is also like 80 times better than him, still. Just sayin’

- I’m again reminded of how quickly they go from one sided to barely flirting in the fear sim to touching casually and him kissing her forehead. All those subtle intimacies are just way too sudden. Ugh.

- His decision to go to Marcus is driven by the desire to protect her and I’m once again a bit nauseated by the idea that Tris has to be protected by someone. It makes sense for his character and as much as I’m nitpicking this story, it’s a better, clearer story arc than Tris’. I love Tris to death, but the story of the trilogy is not hers. It’s her dealing with the fall of Abnegation and then tumbling into Four’s family drama. Everything works WAY better from his POV (with tweaking and with her breaking up with him because I say yet again HE IS SUCH A DICK IN INSURGENT)

anywho i’m skipping the last three “bonus scenes” because I need to take a break and also not kill myself.

#Divergent #Anti-Four #Four: the book

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sightofsea · 8 years ago

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this is rly dumb and there is the HUGE chance im going to regret this but ok

basically when i was 15 i wrote an approx. 200k OC doctor who fanfiction featuring a kind of half self insert/half attempt to subvert mary sue comapnion stereotypes named jenna quigley. and ive been thinking about it more lately like the general storyline bc like. idk. n i figured i should write it out.

i should mention this is all 11th doctor era bc i was a huge fan at that time, and it takes place between that time he leaves amy n rory to when he does his farewell tour bc i wanted to try n add some canonical irony that ill get to later

so basically its all narrated from jenna pov as kind of stories she’s telling to the tardis database via recording. why, we don’t know yet. she;s. ok so in the plot she was from our universe n was an AVID fan of the show which like tacky i know but whatever. she starts out 15 and in basically my house and neighborhood (this fic started from a constant daydream i would have of going on adventures w the doctor bc i was a nerdy 15 yo so like. sue me) and there have been a disturbing amount of disappearances in the surrounding area that local police are stuck on. so everyones kinda afraid to go out into their own homes and at one point, jenna is doing something out in her backyard and actually witnesses one of the abductions, but is surprised to see the kidnapper looks like the silence, aka the television show shes been watching. she thinks shes going bonkers. her family leave her alone for the day to go to a thing for one of her siblings and she’s just kind of ruminating on this event when--lo and behold, an officer arrives at her door.

and jenna, she’s very skeptical about this guy. like, given recent events she doesnt trust her own eyes. and the guy is...off. like his badge n credentials, if she concentrates, looks like something else for a flash of a second, and for some reason the figure of him is kind of hazy whenever jenna tries to look directly at him. he is shown to have a quirky, friendly demeanor n jenna figures well, i gotta tell someone about what ive seen, so she invites him in. they have a brief chat n its obvious to the reader that this guy is someone VERY familiar (mostly due to my bad writing at the time) and jenna begins to explain what she saw and how its like this one show she watches, and this guy suddenly becomes very very interested in this before realizing he’s got it all pieced together and asks for jenna’s help in navigating the area to find what is, ultimately, a silence space ship.

jenna agrees and over time realizes this guy is most definitely connected to something in the whoniverse and originally believes he might be a time agent bc that seems more likely given their number as they travel to the ship. its also revealed that the officer has brought jenna along bc the key thing about what she saw is that she actually remembers the silence and can see past perception filters due to the qualities of alternate universe, slightly alternate brain chemistry and so on. its not exactly perfect--she can’t get through perception filters rly, especially good ones--but its enough to know something is wrong n remember certain things others from the dw universe might not be able to like the actual silence aliens themselves.

anyway they make their way to the ship, which has come through a massive tear in reality that the officer came through. in the fic lore i guess tears are seen as usually benign things meant to leak ideas of universes into other universes as a kind of waste disposal system, and as a side effect create inspiration in those who are close to them. this tear, though, became too big, kind of like a leaky pipe, and actual material was able to get through by keeping a frequency from both ends of the tear as a kind of safety rope. and to maintain their energy as a stranded ship the silence have been using humans as batteries. i put a lot of thought into this, i know.

SO once theyre in the ship the “”officer”” (we know who he is by now lets just face it) and jenna are captured n separated. jenna is held hostage and it is revealed she is a part of a second half of the “silence will fall when the question is asked” prophecy which goes “the unexpected shall follow the guided task” (i loved rhymes) which is further revealed to the be the following: change the timeline and destroy the doctor. and jenna, being jenna, is like “listen u guys i dont even know the guy so uh failed step one i guess”. she’s saved by the “”officer”” in the nick of time through work of faulty electrical work (like? i know its for style but the silence have all those lights on the floor n it is VERY dangerous) so the whole ship is blacked out n she hears the differently pitched speech patterns (”why do u sound all different” “they took my equipment nevermind lets go”) and after doing some work to reverse the frequency and basically make the ship implode back into its original universe they run back to jenna’s home in the dark, seeing as she was out for quite a bit. her family is conveniently not home yet n decided to hang out with some friends. and when she gets back n is finally in the light SURPRISE!!! turns out the officer was the doctor all along in disguise from the silence using a perception filter. 15 year old me was a literary genius.

n u might think hannah this is rly long is it done now and of course it isnt!! that was just the intro!! after the initial shock jenna kind of parses what era the doctor is from, which is pre-silencio but after finding out about it n in that 200 yr stretch that was never rly shown. and jenna’s like, a whole season ahead of him basically and knows all this stuff and is trying to engage with this guy she’s a huge fan of without like accidentally spilling the beans on his future. she sits him down to explain the whole tv show thing n lets him watch an episode while she goes to her room to pack like clothes n her laptop because its not every day the doctor just flies in and she’s 15 so shes like hellz yeah im gonna be a COMPANION not even THINKING of the consequences in terms of the multiverse, the prophecy and her family (she does leave a note but its self centered n kinda lame tbh just like be back whenever). afterwards she walks the doctor back to the tardis and is like so where we gonna go n the doctor looks at her like jenna you are a literal child im not taking you anywhere and jenna though some MASTERY of writing that was basically hey look over there! and doing it anyway sneaks into the tardis when the doctor isnt looking n becomes his stowaway.

for the next few weeks she just kind of chills in the tardis with this fear that the doctor will immediately bring her back home so might as well have fun and kinda sneaks around him and keeps couch hopping from room to room. the tardis does not like her one bit due to the whole different universe funky energies thing (and this was pre-clara and i really wanted to see a companion the tardis didnt like so) and has multiple conversations with it via the interface hologram which meant i could write cameos for classic companions and write the tardis as a character bc i was a nerd.

SO after weeks of casually avoiding the doctor eventually she gets caught by him and hes not happy about it so shes like well ok then send me home n then she gets the real kicker which is the tears all mended up. after the material was put back in place it went back to being benign n too small for anything to travel between. so jenna basically stuck in this foreign universe with a very slim chance of returning back to her old life and her family and friends and she mistakes the doctors anger at the situation for anger at her so shes like basically im all alone here oh god n has a crisis n has a dramatic run off into the bowels of the tardis hallways

eventually the doctor finds her and they bond over being kind of the last of their kind in a way and he takes a kind of fatherly role and is like well youre already here and im miserable on my own so why dont we two birds one stone it n just go on adventures for the time being and takes a kind of fatherly platonic role with jenna bc i was sick of seeing companions hook up with the doctor and was confused as to why they wanted to hook up with him (spoiler alert: huge lesbian)

so they set off on their adventures. the first one was about the doctor and jenna accidentally boarding a ship of genetically engineered soldiers called evos being shipped off to a galactic war and finding out some of them had rebelled and had been camping out in the ships underbelly. they had no mouths but were able to communicate via sign language n empath touch powers of transferable memories. the captain was a bitch who didnt see the evos as living things n eventually in a stand off either offered them a chance for the other, still podded evos to live and for them all to live a horrible life or have the podded evos be ejected into space in return for them to have a chance to fight for their freedom. the choice ended up coming down to jenna, somehow, i think, and she chose freedom and cost the lives of like 200 evos but were able to get the ones they were able to save (about, like, 100 i think) to safety and create their own civilization away from harm on a distant planet and their success and triumph to live their own lives i guess canceled out the fact that jenna played a part in the deaths of 200 beings. it was. i dont even know

the next “episode” after a brief interlude of less impactful adventures and discussing mortality was a sherlock crossover episode that im too embarrassed to go into detail about but did reveal jenna’s newly formed abandonment issues due to her stranded in a strange universe situation and the fact she had a self harm problem that, surprise, mirrored mine. her n the doctor went on some more adventures over the next few months that were mentioned in passing. it should be noted that this first “act” i guess takes place over a solid year

the next episode featured river song bc i was gay for her without knowing it and i had just learned about easter island in history class and i decided to expand on one of the adventures said in passing during the series to kind of root my fic in canon bc i was a smarmy bitch. it involved being perceived as gods and the silence and using the flesh as a means of luring villagers to be used as human batteries and also putting a percetion filter on the ship so what was actually a crater was perceived to be a mountain. through this episode we saw the doctor again facing his own mortality, river sitting jenna down after a series of events pieced together her abandonment issues n harm problem n being like you cant rely on the doctor for this alone trust me i know its fun but when it starts ending it wont be. jenna gets kidnapped again by the silence n is reproduced as flesh to try and steer the doctor n river away from saving the day but overcomes that impulse and eventually pulls herself out of it and helps save things.

this episode also imports an important plot device of misplacement, which i shouldve put in earlier if im honest. the basic idea of it, within the fic lore, was that the universe, multiverse, whatever had to compensate for temporal displacement all the time when choices were made, but when big things that would alter history happened--like a giant supposed mountain blowing up 200 years after it had already blew up--it had a fail safe to transport the object causing the harm to the exact place but in a different time where the event would have less of a temporal impact. theres also an important note here where the doctor doesnt recall jenna being with him on their first adventure together. both are setting up the larger plot.

after the deal with the kidnapping and the flesh and all their adventures the doctor becomes kind of protective of jenna because i mean the dude also has abandonment issues like lets be real. so he kind of tones down the danger in fear of jenna dying or getting hurt. i mean, its been a year and theyve kind of become these friends who snark at each other like a family would and its nice that jenna has this person she can trust because she watched the show and like, knows him and knows his tells and calls him out on his bullshit before he can even get started and feels a kind of responsibility for due to the prophecy she was given and the doctor has someone to talk to and someone he also doesnt have to hide from really because she already knows almost everything. theyve been equally protective of each other--jenna keeping the doctor in the dark about the prophecy about her and keeping mum on the fact that she knows he isnt going to die, and the doctor worrying about jenna’s safety and trying not to screw her up like he has past companions to kind of try to atone for his past mistakes and make it up to this girl whose life he kind of unintentionally ruined. ok honestly idk why im getting in depth but i spent. years on this fic you dont understand

so. after a while jenna just kind of calls the doctor out like come on lets at least go somewhere fun and end up spending christmas eve in new york in the forties and befriend this newly single mother and jenna fakes a REALLY BAD accent to get across that her n the doctor are related n poor to gain sympathy. they do all the things she wants like times square and macy’s, where surprise! she sees amy n rory n their son and just kind of like. guides them away from the doctor like guys. this aint ur guy. and it would fuck EVERYTHING up also hi i know your guys’s entire life story, cute kid, etc. they give jenna some advice dealing w the doctor and she tells them that she’ll try her best to make sure he doesnt like, go self hating n all that bullshit n they part ways. her n the doctor meet up again and throughout this whole first part jenna’s been noticing people following her? with like, these weird orange-y eyes. and she thinks like fuck ok this’ll ruin the adventure, maybe theyll leave but they end up starting to go after her and reveal themselves to be a species called the visicheck

after escaping and dumpster diving because the visicheck hunt based on scent, jenna and the doctor start heading towards the single mother’s place for refuge (she had seen their situation n offered a place to spend christmas eve) and on the cab ride over the doctor explains that the visicheck r these ancestors of the family of blood, and basically are lifeless specks that latch onto living things and possess them until they burn them out and move onto the next one. they consume what is the basic energy a thing needs to exist and be alive, and for different species there’s different levels. lets say a dw universe human is ur basic ten on the scale. because of different circumstances in different universes, jenna is basically a 120 on the scale. like, these things could possess her body and use it for centuries to wreck havoc with the kind of energy she holds. and jenna, thinking about the prophecy of changing the timeline and also not wanting to basically be the living dead is like yeah ok fuck this is bad.

they find some brief refuge in the single mothers apartment for a time and enjoy a lovely christmas eve dinner but eventually the visicheck catch up to them. the doctor escorts the single mother n her kid into a cab to get as far away as possible while jenna is just supposed to keep holed up in the apartment, but things arent so easy and they end up breaking in. she’s able to hit them over the head with a pan n kind of stave them off for a bit and heads for the roof, but is eventually backed into a circle. knowing the visichek can’t possess something that is dead and not wanting to potentially endanger the universe just to keep her life jenna jumps off the building in a dramatic fashion that i wrote to play with the carol of the bells because i thought it was cool, and you know what? it was. it really was.

and so jenna dies

at least for a bit

she wakes up in the tardis, rly confused because like, she died. like she knows she did. and the doctors not speaking n acting all broody and she finally gets the story out of him that after she died (posted as an anonymous person in the newspaper, i should note, and put in an unnamed grave to keep the whole “written in stone” thing in line) he kind of. went off on his own for a bit before rly hating himself for letting jenna die right in front of him and went back to catch and save her before she landed, therefore altering the events as it happened. and jenna is...not happy about this. like, one bit. because, in a twist of fate, because she is both living and dead the universe must compensate by going to misplacement, but jenna can’t fully complete the misplacement “”process”” i guess until she is in the exact location she is misplaced from, only different time and all, and in this case she’s in the tardis which almost always has its shields up, so she can’t even complete that bit. so, as explained, the universe will start the process over whenever the tardis decides to fly off again, and send jenna to a different time within the tardis’s general vicinity.

basically, she’s gonna be stuck hopping around the doctor’s timeline. like, all of it, until she finally meets up with the right doctor who knows her n has been past this point. which could take years for her. and, mind you, the task she was “assigned” in the prophecy was to change the timeline, and as a result destroy the doctor. so this is basically jenna’s worst nightmare, and she finally spills the beans about the prophecy in a fit of anger before trying to say goodbye and being whisked off

and this is where the angst stuff happens

basically, for the next year or so (when i rewrite in my head its two years, makes more sense) jenna is thrown around one end of the universe to the other, trying to stay out of the way of the doctor’s events while also trying to, you know, survive and eat and drink and sleep. she’s basically a homeless vagabond for most of it, and her abandonment issues and self harming kind of escalate. she begins leading a really lonely life, and grows this kind of love/hate relationship with the doctor where she really hopes to see him again but also grows bitter against him for putting him in this situation. she visits companions before their time with the doctor, like donna, by accident and stumbles through meeting them and trying to just keep going. in her loneliness she starts talking to a version of the doctor in her head, which starts taking more and more of a form to her before its a fully grown kind of hallucination she’s created out of loneliness (which was kind of based off of me being a lonely kid and having pretend conversations with characters to simulate human connection which is. sad. i know. really sad. its a lot).

for a time jenna is stuck with the doctor and martha during the months leading up to human nature/the family of blood, and inadvertently meets martha and gets a job at the school as a fellow maid through helping martha drag the doctor to the place. she figures its the only stability she’ll have for a while and since she was never shown in the show it isnt rly affecting the most important bits of the timeline, and resolves to stay as far away from john smith as she can and just live out her life until the events of the episodes start happening and she’ll vamoose. she adopts an accent to blend in and when she has free time finds the stashed away tardis, which initially does not recognize jenna as a companion until finding archived recordings from the future bc duh its a time machine, which brings the whole pov thing full circle, and interacts with the interface to get answers about her growing questions about the silence and her situation and learns about a device called the cage, which has been alluded to in previous “episodes” only by name, as a great machine created by the silence that is meant to basically make it so that anything inside of it would be erased for existence, past present and future, using energy form the cracks in the universe. this was still at a point in the actual series where we knew nothing so i just kind of went buckwild.

anyways

jenna ends up having to interact with the tenth doctor as john smith once, and kind of aims all of her bitterness towards her future self at him and realizes that isnt fair, apologizes, and has a cathartic moment of finally moving past a grudge with the wrong version of the doctor. eventually the events of the episodes start happening and she vamooses before getting sent off to god knows where again, yippee

eventually through the next year jenna kind of begins to rly lose hope. like, it’s been a year already, she doesn’t know if she can keep living like this. so she makes a deal with herself to wait out until the end of this second year of time travelling vagabonding before she decides to off herself to save herself and the universe the trouble.

she keeps going through the motions and actually stumbles upon a future, post-silencio doctor, with rory and amy in tow, and in a fit of like oh my god relief she kind of runs up to him and is like i found you, finally, holy shit n the doctor looks at her like im sorry but i dont...know you? like i genuinely dont know who you are. you might have ur timelines all switched up. and jenna knows this isnt true and freaks out and kind of just is like, theres like fifteen days until the deadline, all hope is lost, gonna just completely self destruct n cuts her hair and stops eating, but on the day of the actual deadline she keeps stalling as she zaps from place to place before finally deciding to end how it should end by jumping off a building n she has this heartfelt convo with this imaginary figure thats kept her company all this time

so she makes the journey up this apartment building in this basically abandoned future...chicago, i think? yeah. and you know, is about to do when whaddaya know, a familiar voice is calling out for her. she thinks its just the hallucination but eventually realizes that its actually the doctor, one that knows her, and they have this really heartfelt hug before she punches him square in the face

after the fact is a lot of secret keeping on jenna’s side. she doesnt want to be a burden and just kind of wants things to eventually get back to normal after a period of just resting finally and lies about her time being thrown around the doctors timeline, telling him it was only a few months instead of two years, and hiding the evidence of her self harm and other forms of self destruction to try and get things back to the way they were. the doctor can see through jenna’s bullshit though and over a month of just kind of chilling in the tardis and getting better she eventually tells him and after being pulled into an adventure with alien bees and a prison break and characters very much based off of the captor brothers from homestuck they kind of find their original rhythm

the next adventure was the one where i stopped writing mostly bc the plot absolutely sucked. it was a beach adventure episode, involving aliens and aliens who were mermaids and being stranded on a remote island. also, at the time i was going through a sexuality crisis and decided jenna was gonna go through it too and made her realize she was gay for one of the alien mermaids and totally made out with her. you can see how the plot was failing a bit, and the only thing i dont regret is the whole mermaid makeout thing really.

the rest of the series from that point on was supposed to go something like this: jenna has to go back to her old high school, except in the dw universe, and finds out she actually doesn’t exist in this universe??? which is weird. the doctor plays teacher and they live in the prop attic of the school investigating a counselor that literally feeds off of emotions until the students are a husk and die. there was going to be a filler where the doctor and jenna start the doctors farewell tour (it is revealed when they finally find each other at the end of the timeline jumping debacle that the doctor has like two years left until silencio happens, with like a hundred years passing between new york n finding jenna) and the doctors mortality is discussed and jenna begins to wonder what happens to her since she isnt at the event or anything going forward, and begins to worry about the prophecy again.

the finale of jenna’s adventures was supposed to go like this: they end up tackling the silence again, only with the help of the cage, after jenna notices the doctor beginning to forget more and more things about her. they get captured and the silence plan to place the doctor in the cage and eradicate him from existence so that the question to be asked never existed to begin with. i hadnt figured out how yet, but basically jenna would finally click everything together and realize it was her destiny to do this, and even had a better chance since it eradicated her from this universe, and she still had a life in another one and could maybe start over and appreciate her family and friends a bit more, and would pull a switcheroo so that she would be put in the cage and slowly eradicated from existence. from that point the silence ship would kind of go haywire from the power being used by the cage and jenna would drag the incapicitated doctor back to the tardis and saying she has to go record something real quick, and then we dont hear from her again.

last scene would be of the doctor, years and years into the future, during one of his alone periods, sifting through the tardis database and happening upon the archived recording files and listening to them, not remembering exactly but living through these events with a person that was there but also never there to begin with, and the last recording being an actual face recording of jenna saying you know, she doesnt regret a minute of it, go out there and have a nice life and dont feel bad for her before saying goodbye and zapping out of existence.

last “scene” i guess would be a fifteen year old jenna, rather than the 18-19 year old we’ve come to know, waking up the day it all started and realizing she accidentally napped through the whole day when her parents wake her up. it seems apparent she doesn’t remember a thing, but her parents say something offhand that wouldve been a prolific line and she has a sense of deja vu and hints towards her someday maybe remembering but also having a chance to live a life without the trauma of her life lead in the other universe

so uh yeah. idk why i decided to write all of this. actually i do i have an essay i have to write but. idk this fic was a huge part of my life for like. a good amount of time and despite its tackiness im actually very proud of it and just wanted to share its story without having anyone ever have the link to it and read it because despite my careful planning i did narrate like a superwholock for most of it and it was REALLY annoyin. but this fic and the character of jenna actually helped me work through a lot of my own bullshit and im still kind of in love with it. and in the years to come actually m*ffat fucking used these plot points like the tardis hating the companion n the doctor forgetting about a companion like years after i wrote this shit but i think i wrapped up the cracks in the universe n silence thing pretty fucking well so uh. petition for fifteen year old me to rewrite the last half of season 6 i guess. anyway its 2 in the morning and i just wrote honest to god a full 5,000 words about my doctor who oc fanfiction so uh. yeah. fuck.

#so dumb

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craftmanatee · 8 years ago

Text

Felidae (1994) Review

So I just watched a sort of old animated film, about cats investigating murders of other cats, and it has an adult and sexual theme... uh... READ MORE ABOUT IT

This film... is blurry to me.

The film stars a cat named Francis who moved in with his owner at a new place. He quickly finds out about a murder spree that is happening among the cats of the neighbourhood and from there, he is undergoing an investigation to find who the murderer is.

The story, and the lore behind the motive of the attacks and why things are happening is actually pretty interesting. It has some cool ideas, but it is plagued by inconsistencies and annoyances.

First of all, I watched the film in English. The film is originally german, and so the lip syncing and the script are probably different. I tried my best to forgive the dubbing, but honestly they ended up doing a mediocre job. And for such a grim story with grim visuals, I honestly regret not watching it on german. I think they probably did a better job, and (Forgive me for this) the german language would fit just nicely to such an adult theme.

Animation Quality

I also have to mention that the animation is both good and bad. There are select shots I think are... pretty clever and cool, and then there are the nots. The film is actually well animated, or has a quality to it, but it does go back and forward with the quality. So the animation is “Bearable” at worst. Pretty alright at best.

Alright, my first gripe with the film, and it went on CONSISTENTLY is how the pacing just does. Not. STOP. It goes on, and on. Not in a slow pace, but in a consistent speed. There is no breaks, or moments. There are some, but the whole film falls into a blurry mess because most of the film just flies by in one speed.

You can see this during the opening and the first shots of the film. Just, left and right shots of the cat (francis) walking around, exploring it. But you just HAVE to watch him walk from room to room, you dont jump cut to each room, no no. You watch go from door to door. That is just bad storyboarding I guess, but what sucks is that there is no atmosphere to it. Those shots simply had no intention to show anything. And most of the film is like that.

The english dub did not help with this, I honestly think that the english dub made it worse. The scenes progress too fast for the dialogue and the thought behind them to kick in for us. HECK even the characters dont get time to think. It falls into one of those animated films where sometimes the characters have to speak over each other just to save time and fit in within the timeframe. It is a mess and is unfortunate.

However, there are some key scenes that make this film, unordinary.

First of all, I also want to say that I think the film has some interesting choices, some amazing ones and some... regretful ones.

For one, the film is Adult themed, meaning it will show gore, sex and... contain naughty language. The cartoony style of the film is so weird to have juxtaposing with lines such as “he is too old to get it up for any feline” or, something like that. So weird to hear and see this cartoon, almost disney esque designs along with an adult film. One of the first visuals for this is plainly the gore on some murdered cats. That is fine and dandy, it sets up the expectations and assumptions for the film going forward.

Then not too long after, we meet this interesting character choice in an animated film, especially for its time, and it is basically a blind cat. This character was actually, very well done, I never thought I would be happy to see such a choice. Heck she even animates in a way that makes sense, like who would have- oh... no nevermind this film is merciless.

I try not to spoil it, but I had a mini-game of thrones moment.

The parts that stand out the most is the dream, and nightmare sequences.

Francis the cat ends up having dreams and nightmares. Maybe just one or two, the film does not give itself time more than these two. But honestly, the grotesque nightmare sequence is pretty damn amazing. Even the dream sequence was actually well done, even for the benefit of the story. Heck, truought the film I noticed there were some foreshadowing here and there. So... kudos? The nightmare and dream sequence were probably animated by completely different studios. They were both way too good/pretty to be animated in-house.

And then there are the parts that stand out, for the bad reasons.

Lets start with the first big bad standout. The sex scene.

There is a sex scene between Francis and an egyptian cat lady. God damn, they fucking handled it so... cat like and realistically that it just... does not fit within the film. I hate this scene, but it does play a role. They even added the silhouette of crows fuckin! I mean Aaawrgh, it just does not fit the god damn designs of the characters. I did not assume the film to be like this. But... honestly, the film feels more important because of it.

There is also the laboratory log tape scene. This is probably the most brutal and gory part of the film. I, also hate this scene too. Not because of the gore or brutality, but how it was handled. You basically have these cats being experimented on, and they actually show this healing serum, fucking melt the back skull of a cat. They are trying to make a healing serum of some kind but it always ends up the opposite in an acid sort of way. Again, I hate the way they handled the scene by mostly being memorable for its gore. I did not get a mood, or feeling or any kind of emotional attention other than just a realistic depiction of what is a brutal action. There were no, scary lighting or anything. It was just... shot for shot a doctor, trying to get a serum to work. Log to log.

Most of the film is like this.

There just are no moods of any kind. I think the only mood the film gave itself to in a particular scene was the cultist/sect scene. There was electricity, chanting, shadow, lights flickering. Probably the only scene crafted to have some kind of... mood.

I am lying, a little bit. The final fight scene had a mood too. But, it was pretty typical... Fighting, fire, orange... danger. But I wanna save that for later...

Characters

Francis (Main character) is, pretty gosh darn straight forward. I kinda like him, and not. He just does not seem believable and I think a big part of it is the english dubbing.

BlueBeard (Sidekick) is oddly placed. I think at first he was gonna be the anti-hero but he just ends up being some... sidekick to the main character. He is the only character with the most personality, and he delivers it well. Except for the way he pees...

Khan (Anti-hero) is the blockiest cat Ive ever seen. Nothing too much about him other than, being incredibly cartoony.

Felicity (Supporting character) Yeah...

So... honestly, I dont find the characters to be in anyway interesting other than Felicity. For the most part, the characters, as cats, should be taken in an anthropomorphic way. The situation, the investigation. It all plays out like a noir film, and I think the characters as CATS do it pretty much ok. It is simply made a little more interesting because they are cats. But that also delivers a fuck ton of inconsistencies.

The story inconsistencies are there, and you are made aware.

You just have to bite and take it in anyway. Im sure the actual book has made these inconsistencies to be believable but, fuuuck the placement of things in this film.

I mean, since when could francis know how to use a computer?! Hes not a god damn fucking mutant cat! god damnit...

The Film in the end receives a “NICE TRY”

This cat noir story, is not well made in animated form. But, for its odd choices, I honestly think you should give it a watch. It is only 1h 18min long, and is not entirely predictable in the way you think.

A film, both good and bad. But should not be disregarded.

Nice Try Felidea!

(SPOILERS)

2 final bits of Awesome things from the film

Bluebeard assumes that the first murdered cat they see was done by humans. This line is oddly well foreshadowed. What is made even better is that nothing mentions how Bluebeard was right all along. Ive just came to this conclussion thinking about the story.

And the ending fight with the ending slice actually made me burst into laughter. Probably the most over the top awesome thing in the film. I thought it was funny and ... well cool in the right way.

#felidea #animated #film #review #cats #noir #thing #felidea 1994 #felidae #felidae 1994

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therewas-a-girl · 8 years ago

Note

I've been so bitter about a large part of this fandom and its hypocrisy & double standards. They've made things miserable and been awful (to the cast, crew, other fans), only to change their tune or been about the moment it became clear that they were going back to olicity and Felicity's Helix story took off (and I say that as a Felicity fan). They don't care about other characters. They're only good when they need other example to prop up their complaints. The season has been far

from perfect but it also had some great stuff. They don’t care about Digg outside of being yoda/couple cheerleader. Where did the good fandom we had go? or maybe I was too naive to see how it was before.

I get where you’re coming from anon, i really do. there’s being critical of a show and then there’s piling shit on it only because you’re not getting the storylie you want.

the problem with arrow is that its so problematic that all the reasons for being critical of it overlap: the logical and illogical ones.

however i do understand that for some people olicity is the only reason they watch, so if they’re not together, arrow is not worth watching. its a valid reason. (for example, while we’re talking about Felicity: i was one of the people that would have punched arrow in the face, had arrow been a person, for flippant and dismissive/diminutive way it treated Felicity in the first half of the season. ...and i would have murdered them in the throat for her storyline last year… and in the gut for the one in s3 )

to be fair to the arrow and olicity fandom, I don’t think there are good fandoms anywhere. there are just good corners. and no matter what, people have a right to like or dislike a material given to them, for the reasons they chose to. (within reason and decency, meaning that no, i do not understand or condone harassing other fans or the actors, who are just doing their jobs. i dont understand the relentless offensive questions and the holding these people responsible for things they have no control over, nor do i understand this fandom’s blindness to the fact that actors/producers/crew are here to sell a product and will speak accordingly.

nevermind gugenheim tho, he’s a prime ass pig, he deserves the middle finger cause he’s gross and thinks he’s god’s gift)

i do believe in confronting people for their bullshit, but only on the issues of where someone’s opinion disrespects another person’s humanity - like confronting the racist language some fans use to bash Rene, for instance, just cause they dont like the show’s direction, and use him as an outlet for their anger.

can we maybe … take a moment … to appreciate how AMAZING team arrow looks right now !!!! and how GOOD this season has been for representation !!! and the fact that the New Team Arrow: Rene, Curtis, Dinah, are ALL people of color !!! like, can we do that? cause its so beautiful !!!

on matters of how ppl like/dislike the show, you and i can’t really do anything about it. nor should we - at least i dont think so. it’s not fair to ask anyone to shut up because their opinions are ruining our experience - it’s our job to safeguard that experience, whatever it may be.

Im with you on the fact that s5 has been remarkably better quality-wise, in comparison to both s4 and s3. if one doesn’t count how hard arrow has backtracked from certain slorylines and - what i most despise in any kind of writing - refused to deal with the consequences of its own stories for too long, until it was convenient (and used contrived ways to do so) s5 is actually quite fun. the overall quality feels higher, and i can admit that despite being a VERY critical fan of the show, because i realize that my issues with arrow are systemic, and have been in the shows dna from the start

(raging unforgiving sexism, racism, fridging, manpain, silencing of women’s stories, overall low quality writing, the utter disregard for emotional continuity, the cheerful ignoring of the emotional fallout of certain storylines etc)

they are - these things are not new! the only thing that is new that has caused so much ruckus is that oliver and felicity are not together - which makes ppl impatient and less forgiving of things they have overlooked before. yeah, that is a double standard - and frankly a little alienating, to me, how ppl’s obsession with olicity overshadows so much - especially since this show fucked up hard in much more offensive ways before, and hardly anyone had that many shits to give because oliver and felicity rode in the sunset together.

people will be people, you know. we cant come in here to preach the right way or try to change people’s minds, cause it will ruing it all for everyone, but most especially for you. we just have to admit that we’re different and like the same thing for very different reasons; hopefully friends friends who share those reasons and enjoy the ride, i guess.

#arrow thoughts #personal #s5 #Anonymous

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oflgtfol · 5 years ago

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and the thing that really pisses me off with these cross necklaces and these stupid fucking ceramic baby things with my baptism date or my communion date on the back of them is that like.

my mom hasnt gone to church since i was 8. nearly 10 years. she hasnt done confession in over 30 years. in practice? she’s a bad christian. she’s a christian by faith only (nevermind the fact she’s a conservative republican and has no compassion for human life which like goes against what jesus taught so she’s not even really christian in faith either LOL)

but GOD forbid i tell her i want to throw this ceramic baby with the date of my baptism written in sharpie on the back of it out. GOD forbid i tell her im throwing out all my cross necklaces (except the one high quality gift one bc i feel guilty abt throwing out such a nice gift that i never even wore once. i’ll throw it out in five years from now)

she’ll tell me its sacreligious, like How Dare I Say That, like im a Bad Christian and a Bad Person for doing it

LIKE its so fuckinng performative. its a fucking CERAMIC BABY i dont GOD DAMN care about this. i have 0 sentimental attachment to it i just know that its been clogging up space in my room for as long as i can remember. but obviously this fake need to be a Good Christian outrules the fact that these things serve no purpose and just take up room that like I NEED to have a tidy room which she’s always bugging me about for years -_-

#LIKE. MY ROOM IS SMALL. I HAVE A LOT OF STUFF #i need my drawers! i need the top of my dresser! i need these spaces to put things that i DO need #i DONT need this FUCKIG ceramic baby and this fucking ceramic cross and all this shit #like how dare she lecture me on being a Good Christian when she hasnt gone to confession in THIRTY YEARS! LOL #THIRTY YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!#and confession is an actual SACRAMENT #holding onto ceramic religious imagery is NOT #delete soon #OK. im done talking about this -_-

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somedaypast-thesunset · 8 years ago

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i feel upset today because there is a continual expectation for me to put myself out for other people and get next to nothing in return as they ask for everything. and if i ask for something, it just goes ignored.

i’m tired of my work being devalued. i’m tired of people just taking it for granted and using it to their own benefit. i felt nothing but anxiety and animosity at the last show our group put on because i was knowingly bullied on more than one occasion by another member and then forced to put on a show with them - and was even questioned why i might pull out my art.

i was going to perform at this event. but as the weeks passed i realized i was putting in more work than anyone else and when i asked for certain things, they were ignored or put off. and yet there was an expectation for me to complete something for them ‘asap’. this made performing for the first time really devalued. like sure, i worked hard to create the event but why? what was the purpose of this? it was never to bring anyone together, it was never to showcase anything but the organizers themselves and the lack of good promotion means the likelihood of selling something at a venue not known for after hours shows and not joining our marketing is pretty low.

i am 27 years old now. i have no fucking desire to put on shitty teen shows that are half assed thrown together with a bunch of my friends. thats not what this is about for me - it lacks a certain amount of organization and class. it lacks a curation in performers. i thought i might be the worst one - and that’d be okay. they cant all be winners. but now it’s just open mic - and if i really wanted to perform at a open mic, i’d go to a real one. if i’m going to do a large amount of the work - outside of meeting with the owner one time and putting up 5 flyers on street poles - i want the results to be worth the work i put in. and IMO it’s not. it’s mediocre and thrown together.

and i feel a personal insult about this because of how much work i put intothe group itself. ive dedicated time on a semi regular basis to all the admin work, the promotion, keeping social media active, posting new submissions, fielding a majority of the questions and i’m not asking for praise - i’m asking for people to respect the work i’ve done. don’t come in and draw on it with magic marker and tell me its acceptable quality when theres folks painting in oils. i dedicated time to create an entity that could be used and harnessed; i ask for the quality of our output to match whats already there.

and i think it’s asinine that i would hve to argue doing better than average. if this is just a hobby or random activity for you - fine. it’s not serious. you’re not serious. none of this matters. but it was presented as serious. it was presented as a showcase of people’s craft. there is no effort into making it somewhere one would wnt to be. we’re all going for the ~decor. we print posters because we want to see our name on a poster in the street - not becuse we’re really advertising an event. it was acceptable that the only people in attendance would be the performers and a few of their friends. acceptable!! that’s an unsuccessful house party, in my opinion.

you know whats missing locally? proper use of social media to network between people. it’s impossible to find other artists in the area unless you scour through obscure hashtags. but yet theres dozens and dozens if not hundreds of artists in the local area. this means you get stuck in one influence and within that influence you may be chastised for going against the “norm” of their influence. instead of new ideas being welcomed, they’re constantly turned down or argued against.

i’ve met all of the people i know through facebook and instagram in my art world. thats a very powerful tool.i know models who only book through instagram. and ive had arguements about the use of hashtags. as if theyre not relevant.

i’m tired of questioning what i know. tht honestly gives me the most anxiety. and its not like im tired of questioning what i do - its healthy to question your actions - but what i know and believe makes me feel unsure of myself and the skills i have. i have had experience working in the creative industries since i was 17, freelancing. and i have a wide variety of skills in graphic design, retouching photos, photography of models & landscapes & products, glamour modeling & product modeling (of which i’ve done for dozens of photographers in the local area), web design & blogging + knowlege of e-commerce platforms, wordpress, seo, promotion & marketing both online & offline, i’ve sold crafts online for almost four years and switched my primary creative tool from artisan crafts to trditional & figure art that i studied & practiced extensively for over two years, i have skills in copywriting & journalism, i have a handle on the basic laws of creative works & how they can be used, basic knowledge in building & selling a brand, communicating with clients & customers (of which i’ve had no complaints in regards to my communication - ive had complaints about shipping because post offices are not so nice), creating organized file systems which can be used by multiple people -- i have paid my dues. i am still growing, absolutely. i am not the best at any of the above things i listed. i could be even better. i could spend two hours today on one of these skills and be better than i am right now. i can always be better.

but just because i can be better doesnt take away from what i know now, what i have learned, what i have studied - like i took the time to study and read up on research and marketing & promotion techniques. a good portion of my first shop was spent reading about how to sell stuff, not so much making stuff to sell. as i did not realize at the time how much work went into being successful online. and i did not realize until my shop closed how i had taken that skill for granted - because i had done all that work & effort, it was able to pull in a few sales a month with little to no effort now. if i worked harder, maybe i couldve been even better.

i also (un)willingly have worked full time as an artist and only an artist for at least two years. this is the “luxury” ive been allowed in life even though i am the definition of starving artist. i didnt have it as a part time job or hobby - it was something i did every single day and i marketed & promoted for hours a day. an acquaintance of mine upon hearing of my mental state now told me that i had gone so hard for so long - and i kind of appreciated that he saw that on the outside. that someone could see that i actully did work incredibly hard. that i was dedicated.. that i AM dedicated.

i’m not saying any of this makes me better thn anyone else or knowing more - it just means i’m experienced. i am very very experienced in not only practicing a craft but marketing that craft to sell, displaying that craft in it’s best light, knowing the best places to sell. i also work in quality over quantity. i am not interested in doing 9 - 10 shows a year. i’m not interested in shitting out 5 - 7 paintings at a time. it means before i touch anything to paper or canvas or wood - i’ve thought about it. i’ve really, really thought about it. i didnt just sit down and throw paint on the canvas. i couldve been thinking of this image for days before i do it. or the craft itself - my bone jewelry came because i absolutely neded to make a necklace out of fish bones i found and they needed vials attached. why? i dont know. but it just needed to be.

when i started the group, i asked about names. i didnt choose a name or dictate the name. i was given a suggestion by someone i actually dont like at all and was given a reson for why he felt it was a good suggestion and i agreed because business-wise it was a good suggestion. i respected that he hd different ideas and experiences that shaped that suggestion that i did not have. i learned through it that i should expand my reach - both in my personal creative life and my ‘business’ creative life.

my ~partner was disappointed i wasn’t going to perform. i could tell it was frustrating and dissappointing to him because i think he thought it wouldve been good for me and that i would hopefully find something in it that would bring me something. and through his disappointment he told me that it wasn’t totally right to drop out of something you planned to do or that peopl expected you to be at.

but i’d like to turn that around - my partner is someone who also puts himself out for others on a regular basis. and for a long, long, long time he was fucked around and fucked over by many people. an old friend came to his door and asked to borrow money and he allowed him to despite knowing he might be a drug addict now. he had no obligation to this person but it was like since he was asked, he should. and i think if he lerned to say no, or learned to walk away from an unhealthy situation, he would be happier as well. i’ve learned first hand the benefit of walking away from something toxic. and you will feel misplaced guilt for a bit, i feel some guilt now but it’s for the best.

i try to think how i can change my perspective on it but i cannot. i wold not walk down the street if this was held in the local gallery, nevermind 20km away. like once i took myself out as a performer i realized i wouldnt even want to go. i dont want to see anyone perform but my partner; who will already be subdued because of the venue. ive been completely taken out of the organization of the event - despite having been continually involved in the promotion and a few conversations since the lst one where i said i didnt want to keep doing this. so ive deleted my advertisement efforts online andi’m just halting any further promotion on my part of this event. i’m 97% sure i’m personally not even going to go. i no longer ant to see half of the people there on a personal level so it’s not even worth going to to hang out and i dont care about displaying my art.

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