#LIKE. MY ROOM IS SMALL. I HAVE A LOT OF STUFF
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I had a similar struggle to OP when my boxed brownies started having QC issues and it was really frustrating. I spent a lot of time modifying recipes slightly to achieve more cake-y slightly chewy brownies that aren't too too sweet. I also do all solids in metric now so I can use a scale and don't create so many dirty measuring spoons.
2/3 cup (57g) cocao
3/4 cup (150g) white sugar
3/4 cup (150g) brown sugar (adds wetness and chewiness)
3/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup (120g) regular all-purpose baking flour
1 cup walnut halves
85g (half bar) dark unsweetened baking chocolate
1/2 cup vegetable oil (or canola is fine)
2 tablespoons water
3 large eggs
Oven to 350⁰F. Line shitty dollar store square pan with aluminum foil. Put walnuts in pan, put pan in oven for 7 mins. This is tricky, your oven may vary and it's better to take them out early than let them get burnt.
Put all dry ingredients into bowl. Take out walnuts and put them in another bowl or something to cool down. Take your eggs out of the fridge so they warm to room temp a bit. Mix the dry ingredients together until they're relatively consistent.
Chop or break baking chocolate into smaller pieces and put in microwave to melt. Use a bigger bowl so you can put more stuff in later. Careful not to burn, do it in small increments or it will Smell Very Bad.
When chocolate is melty add vegetable oil, water, eggs in that bowl and mix a bit.
Put the walnuts in the big mixing bowl. Dump that wet stuff in with the dry stuff. Stir with a spatula until it's all a consistent texture. It should feel heavy and smooth IDK how to describe it but it should hold its shape when you form it into a ball.
Dump into pan, smooth out.
Oven for 33 mins exactly. Your oven will be different. Knife put in the middle should come out clean and smooth. Let it cool completely before cutting.
Top will be crackly, inside will be like a chewy cake with big chunks of walnut. Make a lactose-free parfait by heating the brownie in the microwave for a bit, putting lactose-free plain yoghurt on top, add raspberries or some other fruit. Incredibly decadent.
Potion of tooth decay (unsatisfactory, overly-sweet brownie recipe).
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A Weekend to Remember 💕
Summary: Terry wants to give his girlfriend Siya (Sigh-ya) a peaceful weekend away at his place to help her loosen up after a rough week. 🩵
Warnings: Some smut 💋 and 420 friendly 🍃
This is my first fanfic y’all so take it easy on your girl. It’s been a while! lol. Enjoy!!!
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Terry POV
Friday Night 🌙
My girl Siya, who I’ve been seeing for about five months now, has been expressing her frustration with work all week. I’m not quite sure what her exact job title is but I know she works with badass kids and intense parents everyday in the school system. I’ve always admired her patience with people on a daily. I told her I do labor and engineering work for a reason cause I’d catch a case. Nonetheless, I know she needs an outlet and frankly, just a good time so she can let her hair down a bit. I can admit I’ve been slightly negligent to my lady’s feelings recently due to my own work being a shit storm with high volumes of orders and requests needing to be completed. A couple nights in a row I’ve been falling asleep on her mid conversation from pure exhaustion. I know that stings her a bit because we don’t live together and she really treasures our nightly FaceTime calls. She lives about 35 mins away from me on the other side of the county so anytime I get to see her face I try to make it last. I know she knows I still love her and I’m here for her like always but I’m the type of man to show it. Especially when I know I’ve been slacking a bit.
On the way home from work today, on a high from finally making it to Friday, I text Siya to let her know my plans.
T: Hey babe, hope your work day ended on a high note today. I want you to pack a bag to stay over my place for the weekend. I wanna show you how much I’ve missed you all week.. I’ll be there to get you around 6. I love you ❤️
S: Oooo you got plans plans huh? 😏 lol ok baby, I’ll be ready when you get here. Just let me know when you’re on the way 😘
I smile down at my phone at her response. She always finds a way to make me laugh. That’s why this weekend I want her to feel like she’s fully taken care of. My girl is the kind of woman who loves detail but loves simplicity even more. She loves good vibes and ambience.. she loves to be able to take in all the small joys around her and revel in them while spreading that same feeling to the people around her. It made me think about what I wanted to plan for us this weekend. I want to take Siya’s mind off of all her stress and worries and I have to be quick because I only have about 2 hours until I pick Siya up…
Siya POV
That text from Terry made my day. I haven’t stopped smiling since I got it just as I was about to sprint to my car after calling it a day at work. Don’t get me wrong, I love aspects of my job but the mental rigor of trying to put out fires everyday is A LOT. I was just starting to get annoyed with Terry actually, he’s been seeming a bit distant and uninterested but those thoughts faded away as soon as I read that text. If there’s one thing I know about my man its that he’s thoughtful when it counts and loves to prove it.
Getting home to my quiet condo, I drop all my stuff in my office room then head straight to my bathroom to shower off all the angst of the day. Blasting some Summer Walker and Kehlani while the hot water slowly soothes my body into relaxation. I make sure to shave and moisturize something serious not yet knowing exactly what Terry has planned. I just have a feeling it’s going to make me fall in love with him even more.
After my shower, I decided to fix something small to eat to hold me over and then pack my bag for a stay at my man’s.
*phone vibrates*
T: I’m heading to you now babygirl 🩵
S: Ok be safe ❤️ see you soon daddy 💋
I don’t know what it is but Terry still makes me giddy and nervous. I can’t stop checking my hair and light makeup in the mirror just to make sure nothing is out of place. If he knew I was taking what I looked like so serious, he would reprimand me saying you look beautiful regardless, don’t trip but hey, I’m just a girl with nerves!
Dressed in a causal three piece cozy fit, perfect for this fall weather and brisk evenings, I wait for Tory to arrive while chilling on my living room couch. Just as I start to feel a little antsy my phone vibrates again.
T: Come open your door for me beautiful
Without texting back, I hop out of my seat and speed walk to the door with a smile. I open the door to find my tall, muscular, ocean eyed teddy bear of a boyfriend dressed in a hoodie and joggers to match.
“There she is” he says before softly pulling me into his arms and lifting me into a tight hug. He smells so good..
“Hey baby, I missed you so much” I say before planting a kiss on his soft, plump lips.
“I’ve missed you too baby girl. More than you know. Come on, let me get your bag for you” He says slightly brushing past me into the living room to grab my pink duffle bag. “You ready, mama?”
Terry POV
It feels so good having Siya next to me again. It’s only been about a week and a half since I’ve last seen her in person but right now let me know that’s too long without her. Her soft, luscious, radiant skin. Her fragrance that always smells like something sweet that makes me hungry for her. Head full of curls and that amazing smile that still makes my heart skip a beat. I’m sprung, no doubt. I can’t keep my hands off her as I hit the highway heading back to my place. My free hand found its way in between the heat of her thighs and rested there for comfort as I gripped the steering wheel. Snoh Alegra playing from my truck speakers and our heads bobbing to the smooth tunes. I look over at Siya softly singing the words and I crack a smile involuntarily. Call me corny but I made a playlist just for this ride back so I knew she’d be feeling it.
“You know this is my song” She says with a playful smirk while dancing in her seat.
“Yeah I know love”
Siya went back to her karaoke as i focused on not missing a turn right up ahead of us. As soon as I made the turn off our usual route, Siya stops her concert and looks at me with curious eyes.
“Where we going?” She asks
“Just a little detour babe, don’t worry” I reassure her grabbing onto her hand to hold.
I could tell my words put her at ease. I watch her lean back in her seat to take in the beautiful sunset outside our car windows. The sky barely lit but just above the horizon it’s painted a firey bright orange with clouds leaving small traces of purple and blue. Approaching our destination, I see Siya sit up, peeking out of the windows to take in the view before us. A walking park adorned with vast land scattered with trees and a beautiful lake front that provided a perfect view to watch the remainder of the sunset. The area is empty and barely any cars drive past at this time of day. Perfect for a chill ass smoke session to get my girl right for this relaxing weekend I got planned for her.
Siya POV
Terry is always up to something I tell ya. I’ve always appreciated the effort and thought he puts into the things he does for me. No matter how little or large. Terry knows I’m a sentimental nostalgic who loves taking in sunsets and sunrises. I mean, I couldn’t even count the amount of moon photos I have in my camera roll too. He also knows I don’t take the time to enjoy these things as much as I’d like to. To just be present.. with a beautiful view.
“Let’s sit at these benches over here” Terry said taking my hand and leading me to our seats near the lake.
“This is beautiful Terry. How do you know about this place?”
“Me and a homeboy of mine use to come here and go fishing sometimes. We even came out here just to chill. Get our minds right” Terry reaches into this hoodie pocket, “So, with my beautiful lady having the hard week she did.. I figured we’d start this weekend with some reallll relaxation” he declares pulling out a thick cigar blunt with a playful, big cheesy smile.
Terry and I have smoked together before but it���s been quite a while. Shortly after we started dating we both decided to take a tolerance break and focus on work and being a bit healthier. Not to say we didn’t break our pact from time to time but it has definitely been a couple months since I faced a fat blunt.
“When did you start smoking again?” I ask genuinely curious.
“Right now. I figured since work has been kicking both of our asses, we deserve this. You deserve this,” He says lighting the blunt and passing it to me. Instantly the thick weed smoke and scent hit my nose and brought back all those fond memories of getting high and letting my worries roll off of me like water.
I take a deep breath and allow the smoke to hit my chest. I hold it for a few seconds before a deep harsh cough escapes my throat.
“Take it easy, babe” Terry said laughing while patting my back.
“Oh whatever! It’s been a while” I snap back at him out of a little embarrassment of my fragile lungs. I take another puff and force myself to keep in the smoke long enough to feel the after effects.
“You good mama?” Terry asks me as I pass him back the blunt.
“Yeah I’m good. This shit is hitting me nice..” I say leaning back into the bench, letting my body and mind unwind. I start to listen to the gentle wind of the night breezing past my ears, the lake in front of me rippling from the wind. It’s so peaceful. I feel Terry’s arm cradle my shoulders from be side, providing extra warm from the cool breeze. We continued to pass back and forth until our blunt became a roach. The lowering sun completely gone but now the fluorescent moonlight took its place. It gave us ample light reflecting from the shimmering lake. I could feel every bit of my body soften and loosen up. My head lay back to rest on Terry’s buff arm still wrapped around me. We were both pretty quiet enjoying our high and the tranquility around us. I look over to Terry to make sure he’s okay only to meet his incredible grey eyes, low and hazy from the marijuana, already locked on me.
“How you feeling?” He asks deep in tone, his gaze still stuck on me.
“Good. I feel great actually”
“Good. I’m glad to hear, babe. Come here…” Terry whispers before grabbing me around my waist and pulling me into his lap. Never taking his eyes off me. I was starting to really get lost in them. All I could picture was the last time we fucked, soaking my satin panties as I clinch my thighs on Terry’s lap. My eyes gaze down to his juicy pink lips that just seem to be calling my name. Without hesitation, i pull Terry in for a passionate kiss. Lips smacking and soft biting making us both groan into each other’s mouths. I could feel Terry’s thick bulge grow stiffer below me as he shifts my booty on his lap to help adjust himself. He let out a soft moan before placing lewd, wet kisses all over my neck.
“Terry you know that makes me weak” I moan out as he hits all my spots causing me to quiver.
Ignoring my plea, gripping onto my thighs, he continues to place warm kisses on my neck and slowly down my chest. Suddenly he stops and looks up at me. The moonlight beaming out of his now dark clouded eyes. He sits up, gently moving me off his lap and back on the bench before standing up and starting to take off his hoodie. I bite my lip watching him undress, revealing a white tee hugging his defined abs and massive arms. I quietly stare up at him from my seat, heat rising within me from anticipation, wondering what’s next to come. Also forgetting that we’re technically in public.
I’m high as shit.
“Lay back on my hoodie babygirl” Terry says softly while stretching his hoodie out on the bench space beside me. I do as he ask and lay my heated back to the wood bench to rest. Terry, now sitting by my feet and smirking down at me, slowly turns to me with his eyes still intensely on me, lifts my legs and places them firmly over his shoulders. Now I get the hint..
“Take these off” he whispers before licking his lips and pulling at my pants with authority.
I lift my lower body to assist him in slipping my pants and panties off in one quick swipe. The cool air hit my bare legs and made me clinch my legs shut.
“Open up for me, babe” Terry commands sliding his large body back on the bench and lowering his head right above my wet, aching pussy. “I got the munchies.. but all I wanna snack on is you”
With a sloppy, wet kiss to my throbbing clit, Terry began to devour my pussy like his last meal. I couldn’t help but to moan loudly as he slurps and licks me with purpose. One thick swipe of his tongue after another. As he playful darts his tongue in and out of my pussy and tenderly rubs my pulsing clit, I stare up at the stars above. Thanking God and the universe that I’ve found this man.
“Ahhhh Terry.. this feels so fucking good babyyy” I cry out reaching for the bench arm rest behind my head for leverage.
“Mmm.. you taste so damn good mama.. I could eat you all night..” he spoke with all his concentration still on my leaking pussy. Suddenly feeling two thick fingers slowly sliding into me, I arch my back out of pure ecstasy.
“Fuuuuck” I cry out letting Terry quicken his pace. Beginning to feel an amazing but unfamiliar pressure build within me.
“Pussy clenching up baby, you about to cum?”
“Oh my god… Terry!” I shout unable to explain what I was feeling. Silence falls as nothing but the sound of Terry’s fingers slipping in and out of me and his slurping and smacking fill the air. My eyes close shut and I swear even with them closed, I can still see stars. Suddenly, a loud gush erupts from my slippery center.
“God damn..” Terry groans staring at my pussy forming a puddle below him with a look of pride and accomplishment.
“Did you just make me squirt?!” I asks out of pure shock. Did I really just squirt on my boyfriend on a public bench?
“Hell yeah I did. You got me and my hoodie soaked baby girl” he says with a chuckle and a menacing smirk.
“Oh my god” I say laughing to myself, covering my face as Terry lifts me up to hold me in his arms, face to face.
“Aww none of that now. Shit, that was fucking amazing. I didn’t know you could squirt like that, mama. I find it sexy.. lets me know I’m doing all the right things.. maybe I should get you high and eat you out more often” he suggest with that enticing smile of his.
“Yeah maybe” I respond with a smile and gaining a little sense of confidence back. The sound of loud car exhaust approaching made us both grab for our clothes and get dressed. Terry wasn’t lying when he said I soaked his hoodie. Even with it being black I could tell I left the majority of it damp and knew he’d be cold in this frigid wind as we walk back to his truck.
“I’m sorry again about that Babe” I say with my arms crossed in front of me to shield my exposed skin from the breeze.
“You don’t hear me complaining do you? Stop worrying, love. So what I’m drenched? I love that shit. All that matters to me right now is that you feel good.. you gushing all on me like that just shows me you was feeling more than good though.. right baby?” He asks slowly stepping closer to me, forcing my back against the truck door, invading my space in a way that makes my knees almost buckle. Him and these goddamn eyes!!
“Oh I’m more than good..” I almost whisper looking deep into his glistening orbs, feeling like I’m under a trance.
“That’s what I like to hear. Gimme kiss..” Terry says before pulling me into him by the waist and giving me two sweet, wet kisses, “come on, beautiful. Let’s get back on the road. We still got the night ahead of us.”
PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YALL THINK and sorry for any typos 🙈🩷 Depending on feedback I’ll write the rest of the weekend with Tory and Siya 🥰 I have a feeling this is gonna get cute and nasty lmao appreciate y’all! -Kye ✌🏽
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ʜᴀɴᴋᴇʀɪɴ' ꜰᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴀꜱᴛ
✭ pairing(s): boothill x gn reader
✩ in which: boothill's been quiet since he came back from penacony. way too quiet.
✧ a/n: little by little im chipping away at my depressive episode and building my motivation again
✦ taglist: @fffrost, @shinysora
🗒 cw: gn reader, 2.6 spoilers, mention of torture, hurt/comfort, not proofread
✎ wc: 2.4k
Ever since his most recent trip to Penacony, Boothill had been spacing out more when he got home. He insisted, very firmly, that you stay at home this time, leaving no room for any discussion. You were to stay home no matter what, and if he found you had tried to sneak out, even to the town, there would be words to be had. He was never this demanding, and he never barred you from going out. Yet when he told you, there was a certain look in his eyes. Fear. Something so rare within him that it made you obey without a word of protest. Now that he is back, he hasn’t been as energetic as you’re used to. In fact, he had practically stayed glued to the couch.
You could poke and prod at him and he wouldn’t so much as smirk, and you hadn’t even gotten so much of a squeak out of him aside from why he had left in the first place. Despite his victory, he was just… quiet. You wake up to him staring at the ceiling, chewing on his lip. Even though he doesn’t necessarily need sleep, he’s always cuddling up to you when you go to sleep. So when you wake up next to him (quite a rare sight), it’s odd.
Not just that, but you notice he spends an oddly long time gazing out over the plains that surround your house, nearly unphased when you poke and squeeze at his cheeks. It’s not that he is entirely silent the whole time, but his words are few and far between. You can’t remember the last time he’d been so lost in thought.
After the third day, you’ve decided you’ve had enough. It was fine if he didn’t want to talk about it (though you are certain it would help), but you were starting to miss Boothill’s voice, or the silly things he would do. So, you catch him on the couch while he’s charging, deciding to lay on top of him. Cheek to cheek, you press into him with a smile.
“Hi,” You say simply. Boothill doesn’t react much, looking up at you with his eye and a small grin.
“Hey, darlin’,” He responds, his voice quiet.
“Whatcha thinkin’ about?”
“Mh, nothin’,” Boothill sighs, shifting awkwardly just a little beneath you. You raise your eyebrow, and he sighs, admitting defeat so easily. “Okay. Thinkin’ about a lot.”
“Care to share?”
“I dunno sugar, it’s kinda heavy,”
“Heavy is the cost.”
A silence stretches between the two of you, as Boothill ruminates over whether or not to share what’s on his mind. You lean further into him, draping yourself over him like a blanket, even though he wasn’t necessarily the most comfortable person to lay on. You weren’t going to say it out loud, and you have spent hours on him before, so it wasn’t necessarily a problem. There were days where his body was the most wonderful thing to lay on, when he had been lounging in the sun and you had been unbearably cold for Aeons knows what reason. In moments like those, he was like your own space heater.
“Well, I mean, there was a lot goin’ on in Penacony, and all these mind games, and…” Boothill sighs, his body relaxing slightly as he pulls an arm out from under you and slings it over your waist. “Got to rememberin’ a lot of things. Stuff I ain’t exactly keen on thinkin’ about. Now I can’t stop.”
“Do you think telling me about it would help?” You purse your lips, blinking at him inquisitively.
“Haven’t I yapped enough? I swear you ask me about all o’ this at least once a week,” He pokes at your side, causing you to squirm and yelp, before he takes hold of your waist and readjusts both of you, so he’s sitting up and cradling you in his lap. “Gonna make me talk til my jaw falls off, you know that?”
“I’m sorry…”
“Don’t apologize, darlin’,” Boothill smiles, something gentle despite his normally cocky grin. “I know you mean well. You’re the only one I like talkin’ to about this stuff, anyways.”
You tilt your head, silently asking him to continue. For a moment he doesn’t get the hint, raising his brow and chewing on his lip. He’s always been avoidant of such topics like the past, not that you could squeeze much out of him regardless. The most he let you know was of his family, specifically why he held a grudge against the IPC, and who he held a grudge against. Not to mention, he doesn’t enjoy talking things out much. He enjoys venting whatever’s gnawing at him in other ways, such as shooting. Still, he always seems to relent when you ask…
“Ah! Uhm, well…” He wraps both his arms around you, finally sitting up. He readjusts, making sure you’re seated comfortably in his lap. “They got me thinkin’ about when I was a kid… Well, more than that, really. Hard to explain.”
“I can listen all day. I like your voice.” You reply smugly.
“I– That’s not what I meant…” He chuckles sheepishly, shaking his head. “It was like a… hm. Felt like the kind of stuff the IPC had done to me when they caught me.”
Suddenly, you don’t know how to react. Your flirty demeanor drops, and so does your smile. Part of you didn’t think it’d be this kind of conversation. While he said it was heavy, you really didn’t think it’d be on the same level. Boothill sighs, patting your back lightly at your reaction.
“It ain’t that bad. I’m back home now, right? All in one piece.” He consoles, his voice just a tinge softer than before.
“Yeah, but–”
“It didn’t do much to me, really. Just got me thinkin’,” He shrugs so nonchalantly, like torture is something he’s used to. “You asked, right? Lemme continue.”
With a huff, you concede. He strokes through your hair leisurely at your complacence, taking another moment to enjoy the quiet moment. As if what he was about to explain wasn’t something as terrifying as torture.
“It was somethin’ goin’ on with Dr. Primitive. Or at least, someone who aspired to be like him. Really odd thing, actually. With these monkeys and bananas, people wanted to become one. People were becoming one. Freaky, really. I mean, the things were cute n’ all… Not the point.” He takes a deep breath, “Some sort of induction… they… I don’t know how they did it, but they were able to bring back some sort of past version of me…? Took almost everything from me, voice, hearing, colors, sight, anger… they took it all. And suddenly, I felt like I was a kid again.”
The silence continues, while you ponder if anything you’ll say will be right, or okay. There’s not much you can think of to say, without sounding out of place. Dr. Primitive was one thing, and something horrifying at that, but the monkeys threw you off. Furthermore, what Boothill had described made your body feel… cold. It felt like it was one step away from wiping his memory completely.
“What’s with that look?” He chuckles, shaking off the heavy air so easily. “You asked me to tell you, right?”
“Yeah…” You sigh. It’s still quite hard to wrap your mind around such things, but you do your best to ignore it.
“Now you sound all sad. C’mon, I’m alive, ain’t I? Plus, I think I do feel a little better now that I think about it…”
His voice tapers off at the end, before pursing his lips as if he was thinking. Again. Before you can ask him what else he’s got on his mind, his eyes light up. Without so much as a grunt, he picks you up and sets you down on the floor.
“Here, actually, I think I’ve figured out somethin’,” He says, placing a hand on the small of your back as he leads you to the front door. He makes no further effort to explain what he meant, simply choosing to lead you off with a smile.
As he opens the door, light spills into the cabin. The land looks practically golden, you’ve forgotten just how beautiful the plains are at sunset. When you two step out on the porch, a light breeze greets you, wading through the grass. Boothill lets out another chuckle, before stepping off the porch. He stands still for a moment, appreciating the art of the world, the way the wind whispered across the grass, the birds in the distance and their song, and finally, he lets out a content sigh.
“Can’t say it’s as beautiful as Aeragan-Epharshel, but…” He begins, looking back at you for a moment, waving you closer. “It’s close enough…”
“What do you mean?” You finally take a step down off the porch. He wraps his arm around your waist and pulls you closer with an even bigger smile.
“All that work they did, well it gave me a hankerin’ for the past,” He takes a deep breath, his voice wavering ever so slightly. “Don’t like thinkin’ about it too much cause then I miss it even more.”
He cocks his head down at you, before his hand slides from your waist to your own, interlocking fingers. They’re not cold, for once, about body temperature. Perhaps that’s what you get for laying on top of him. He starts to lead you through the grass, his other hand gliding over the soft blades, sometimes grabbing at one just for the fun of it. However, there’s a certain sadness pulling at his face, his stride, even. He’s quiet for another minute, before he stops.
“It’s odd only feelin’ the wind in my hair.” He states, allowing nature to fill the silence once more.
“Boothill…” You mutter, reluctantly wiggling your hand out of his, reaching up to cup his cheek instead.
“It’s okay, sugar, I don’t need any pity,” Despite his words, he leans into your touch so easily, eyes fluttering closed. “Just… expressin’ myself.” After a beat, he opens his eyes and looks back out on the landscape, sighing softly. “I miss all the mischief I’d get into. After I’d finished my work on the ranch, I’d… run off somewhere, mostly off to the town. I’d get into all sorts of trouble just to keep myself from gettin’ bored. So I could get a chance to run through the fields again.”
He turns to you with a somber look in his eyes, as if he’d tear up. Not that he could, he’d lost that function long ago. His hands fall to your waist, gripping gently at the fabric of your shirt.
“There’s nothin’ quite like that feelin’. Runnin’ through the fields, the wind in your hair, stingin’ your cheeks and fingers, heart beatin’ fast as you find somewhere to hide…” He continues. Again, his voice wavers, and he swallows. He does his best to hold off on his own sadness, something he hadn’t allowed himself to properly feel for Aeons knows how long. “I guess I sorta get it still… bein’ wanted ‘n’ all… but it ain’t the same. It ain’t never been the same since…”
He ducks his head, the wind causing his hair to obscure his face. His hat dips, and you raise your hand to catch it. You don’t know what else to do. You haven’t seen Boothill this sad, ever. He’s always so rowdy and practically radiant, and yet now he’s dour, forcing himself to get his words through. He sniffles, then lets out a choked sound that goes straight to your heart. You wrap your arms around him, pulling him in close and squishing your face against his chest. The minute your arms meet his body, he mirrors the gesture. He practically crumbles in your arms, knees buckling as if he were flesh and bone, sliding down in your arms until his knees are planted firmly in the ground beneath you. In turn he presses his ear to your chest, listening to the gentle sound of your beating heart. At this, he grasps your shirt so tightly, pulling you impossibly closer, letting out another whine.
You pet through his hair, doing your best to still your own thoughts. Not only have you never seen Boothill sad before, you don’t think you’ve ever seen him so… weak. Especially on the topic of his past. He could always speak of Clementine, of Nick and Gray, even of his hatred for the IPC with such confidence. Never once did his voice break, did his scowl turn into a frown. His body is wracked with shudders, biting his lip to quiet his sobs.
You two stay like that for a couple of more minutes, Boothill clinging onto you for dear life while you did your best to comfort him, scratching at his scalp and shushing him gently, whispering all sorts of cliche things to calm him down. Eventually, he finally lets up, with a soft breath. His grip weakens on your clothes, and he stands up. When he does, you card your fingers through his hair, moving his bangs from his face. He can’t help but let out a weak chuckle, allowing you to enjoy the feeling.
“M’sorry honey,” He mutters, his shoulders sagging slightly. “Didn’t mean to get all gloomy like that.”
“It’s fine, really,” You smile, your fingers lingering in his hair, before pulling away. “I think you needed it.”
“I… probably,” He sighs, “Just got too caught up in… all of this.”
Still, he nudges you, hand finding yours once more. He squeezes it, before leading you back to the cabin. The wind started to bite, the sun just peaking over the horizon as the sky went from orange and pink, to pink and purple. The clouds waned, the stars just barely visible as you two walked back. The silence is comfortable now, a small smile tugging at Boothill’s lips. He opens the door for you, taking one last look at the plains, before stepping in and closing the door.
“I’ll make dinner, then,” He says triumphantly, clearly feeling lighter than before. “As an apology. For makin’ you see me like that.”
“You don’t have t–”
“I want to, sugar. Let me? Please?” He cocks his head to the side, his smile turning gentler.
You wouldn’t fight it, either way. Despite how much he’s enjoyed literal bullets and oil, you wouldn’t dare stop him from cooking. He was like an angel, really, almost terrifyingly good in the kitchen. While you wanted to say that he didn’t have to apologize, if his cooking was on the line, you’ve found no choice but to concede.
© freyito, 2024 | masterlist | queue | kofi | discord server | star header by roseschoices DO NOT REPOST AS YOUR OWN, REPOST ON ANY OTHER PLATFORM, OR USE FOR AI/AI CHATBOTS.
#⁺◟freyito#hsr x reader#honkai star rail x reader#boothill x reader#boothill hsr x reader#boothill x you#boothill hsr x you#hsr x you
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🟢 for Jenson button x reader? during his brawn days
It was a well-known fact that Jenson Button was a whore.
Which is something that infuriated you to no end as his PR manager.
Warnings: smut, PinMultipleVs sex, oral (jenson knows how to use his mouth, it's canon trust me bro), forced voyeurism (hear me out), sex tape, Jenson has a thing for begging, a lot of dirty talk, it's kind of cringe maybe? Idk you be the judge
2.9k words, and about ⅓ of that is fuck/fucking lmao
Requested from my prompt list
You'd never caught him really doing anything, which was a blessing.
Usually you'd let yourself into his hotel room in the morning because he was late (you always had a spare key for this exact reason) and find him in bed with someone (the number and gender of the persons will remain redacted).
You'd have to politely wake them up and tell them to leave, then give Jenson an earful about how he couldn't afford a bad rep now that he was leading a championship.
It was a familiar routine, he’d run around his room trying to gather his stuff, sometimes having slipped some underwear on, sometimes not, and winking at you cheekily the whole time.
He was hot, there was no denying that. His body was lean but toned from the hours he would put in at the gym, and doing… other activities. And that fucking smile would have swept you off your feet had you not been his PR manager.
But you were his PR manager, so anything happening between you two was a big no no.
However that didn’t stop your mind wandering. Sometimes you wondered what it would be like to be with him.
You’d heard stories and rumours about how good he was. And you’d heard proof of it too, whenever you had a room next to his in the hotel, or when you’d stop outside his driver’s room door listening to the high pitched moans of whichever paddock pass-gifted model was there that week.
And they weren’t fake. You could tell the difference.
Which is why today, you’d strolled into his driver’s room without knocking, because you’d listened in and heard only silence.
You only realised your mistake once your eyes landed on him, on his single bed with a model on all fours, taking his hard thrusts with a makeshift gag that looked suspiciously like one of his shirts.
It was completely muffling the poor girl’s moans, tears running down her cheeks as Jenson pounded into her.
“Jenson!” you hissed, quickly shutting the door behind you. “Anyone could have walked in!”
He wasn’t deterred in the slightest and he just kept going while he replied.
“Well I’m glad it was you, then, because you can’t get me fired”
The fact that he was still balls deep in the woman, who’s arms had buckled and was now face down on the small bed, was rendering you almost speechless.
You’d never actually caught him in the act before, and it was quite a sight to behold. His muscles bulged with his rough movements and there was a deep blush on his neck and chest.
You refused to look at his dick, you feared that if you did, you might never look away.
“Jenson, stop this! I’m serious, we need to talk about that disaster of a practice session!”
He just chuckled and carried on.
“Jenson!”
“Okay fine! Just give me a minute to make her come, I never let a girl leave unsatisfied…”
Your jaw dropped at his audacity. What the fuck.
He leaned over her, mouthing at her neck while one of his hands went down to circle her clit roughly.
“You going to come for me sweetheart? Going to come so that this lovely woman can kick you out and yell at me for fucking you where anyone could see us?”
You saw red and the woman saw white, you clenching your fists as you held back from swinging at the man, her cunt clenching around Jenson as she wailed into the gag.
Needless to say the girl didn’t stay very long after that…
And Jenson had the decency to look slightly afraid as you screamed at him for the next half an hour.
He’d never seen you this angry, rage seeping through your every pore at the fact that he was careless and reckless, and quite frankly irredeemable in terms of PR. And you told him that you wished that you’d been hired by any other driver. Yes, even Sebastian fucking Vettel, because at least he hides the fact that he’s a complete whore!
You didn’t speak to him much over the next few days.
The truth is you were angry. So angry, at him for being a dickhead, but most importantly at your brain for replaying the whole thing over and over again.
The image of his strong body pounding into that woman… you shuddered. You didn’t even know her name, and you were fairly sure Jenson didn’t either, the sexy bastard.
You knew you had been a bit harsh with him, but part of you hoped he would take your words as a kick in the arse and change his ways.
Well… you were sadly mistaken.
A few days later he knocked on the door of your office with the kind of news that no PR manager ever wants to hear.
“You fucking what?!” you shouted angrily.
He flinched and ducked as you threw a book that was lying on your desk at him.
“A fucking sex tape?! You twat!” you paced around your office as he cowered on the couch.
“Could you be any more of a fucking idiot? What were you thinking?”
He picked at the skin of his nails. “I wasn’t thinking…”
You halted in front of him. “You can fucking say that again!”
You paced some more while he explained the whole situation.
A few months ago he’d filmed himself fucking his ex and now she was hungry for money and was blackmailing him. Unfortunately he had ignored all previous threats, and the video was now trending on Pornhub.
You sat at your desk with your head in your hands as you tried not to cry.
“Show me” you said dejectedly after a few minutes of silent thinking.
“What?”
You sighed. “Show me” you got up and motioned to your seat. “Find it and show me. I need to know what I’m dealing with here. Maybe there’s a way of pretending it isn’t you or something”
He looked almost sheepish as he shuffled over and hovered in front of the seat.
“Are you sure? I uhm….”
“Oh I’m sorry” you snarled sarcastically, “would you rather I didn’t see it? Are you shy now? You weren’t shy when you fucked that other woman in front of me, now sit the fuck down and find me the fucking tape, Jenson!”
He sat down and did as he was told, for once, and the thumbnail was enough to make you groan.
“Really Jenson? In your race suit? For fuck’s sake!”
You clicked on it angrily, barely registering the title “F1 driver makes me beg for his cock before bending me over his car”
The first part wasn’t too bad. And by not too bad, I mean his face wasn’t in it, but he was yapping non-stop dirty talk at the woman rubbing herself over his suit-clad thigh.
Voices can be manipulated, you thought. Voices can be imitated.
Voices can also be low and husky and make you want to drop to your knees when they say “Beg for it baby. Show me how bad you want it. You’re not getting my cock until you beg for it…”
Right. Whatever. There was still hope blooming in your chest (and other things blooming elsewhere).
The hopes were quashed however when he finally took the suit off.
His tattoos. His fucking tattoos. They were obvious to anyone who’ ever seen Jenson shirtless, which was anyone from fans, to every single f1 employee, to his mother, to his thousands of hookups. (You were barely exaggerating for effect, but the point still stood).
And then your eyes drifted down into dangerous territory.
Territory as yet undiscovered by your hungry gaze.
His cock. You’d seen it soft, sure, that was nothing to write home about. But for the first time you were seeing it hard and leaking onto his stomach.
Then the scene cut and another problem came up as it changed to something else.
He was now holding the camera, filming himself splitting open the woman’s cunt while she was indeed, bent over the hood of his car.
His very fucking recognisable car, a bright yellow fucking Ferrari.
Your brain only spent about a second on the car however because the angle of the camera quickly changed again.
He’d propped it up against the windshield and now his full fucking upper body was in in view, tattoos and all, and his full stupid fucking face.
His face that was a quite a sight at that moment. He was biting his lip, frowning in concentration as he pounded into the woman who was all but drooling onto the hood, trying and failing to find purchase on the smooth surface as she begged for release.
Fuck he looked good, letting out little whiny sounds every time he buried himself to the hilt.
It was enough to make a grown woman wet.
You realised a beat too late that you’d been staring at Jenson way too long when you felt the real Jenson turn towards you in your peripheral vision.
“Is this fucking turning you on?” he asked, half in awe, half mocking.
You scoffed and straightened up. “Of course not, don’t be ridiculous”
You turned away pretending to be busy with something on the desk.
“You were rubbing your thighs together and basically drooling over the video” he was so fucking smug.
A smug, hot fucking prick of a man.
“No I wasn’t” you denied it but in your heart you knew it was probably true.
“Prove it, then” he stood up from the chair and stalked towards you, eyes full of challenge.
You crossed your arms in defiance, “and how on earth am I supposed to do that?”
You were backed up against your own desk, feeling caged in and small next to his impressive build.
His hand landed on your thigh as he smirked at you, only inches separating your bodies.
“Only one sure way to find out…” his hand trailed up the inside of your thigh, under your skirt and ghosted over your underwear.
“Jenson… we can’t be doing this” you looked up at him, eyes wide as his fingers dipped under your waistband.
“No one has to know… It’ll be our little secret” he whispered, body coming closer and forcing you to lean back and spread your legs to accommodate him.
Your body trembled as his fingers inched towards where you needed him most, briefly making contact with your clit before sliding through your folds.
“Just as I thought…” he growled in your ear. “Fucking soaked.”
His fingers retracted and he pulled them out of your underwear to tap them against your bottom lip.
“Open your mouth, taste how much you want me”
You did as you were told and the taste of yourself on his fingers was enough to fry your brain completely as you sucked them clean.
“Good girl” he said, and sank down to his knees between your legs, looking up at you with that devilish smirk.
“Now let's try this again. Did it turn you on seeing me bend that woman over and stuff her full until she cried?”
You were too desperate to argue. You could have agreed to absolutely anything in that moment, with your bare drooling cunt inches away from Jenson's hungry gaze.
“Yes Jenson. It did turn me on”
He smiled, genuinely surprised that you were giving in so easily.
“And are you going to be a good girl and beg me to do the same to you?”
Your thighs tensed as butterflies erupted in your stomach at his words, his hands keeping you in place and spread open for him.
You let out a huffed whine.
“Yes, Jenson”
“Then I'd better get to work...”
And with that he slid your underwear to the side and dived into your wetness, tongue first.
It was so messy, but so good as he basically made out with your cunt, his tongue exploring every inch of your skin while he slurped up your juices noisily.
He sucked on your clit and you let out a shudder, hands coming to tangle in his hair as you guided him.
He slid a couple of fingers inside you and hummed against your clit, the vibration making you whine as you got closer to an orgasm.
“Jenson, I’m so close-“
“Beg for it” he mumbled into your skin. “Beg for it or I'll leave you here dripping all over your desk”
“Please Jenson, fuck- Please let me cum. I'll do anything please, please, please!”
The closer you got the higher pitched your pleas became, desperation too great to be embarrassed.
But just as you got to the brink of ecstasy, your release was snatched away as he retreated and stood up, cupping your jaw to tilt your head upwards.
“The only way you're coming is on my cock, darling” he patted your cheek sympathetically “And you’re going to have to do better than that if you want it”
He took a step back and looked at you, waiting to see what you would do.
You looked at his pants where an impressive bulge had formed, and your mind went back to the video.
You gulped, turned around slowly and bent over, elbows making contact with the surface and your fingers gripped the edge as your body shook with need.
“Please, please fuck me Jenson. I need your cock inside me. Fuck me until I can't remember my name, please.”
How could he refuse when you were asking so politely.
You felt the heat of his hands on your back before they slid lower to cup the flesh of your ass and squeeze.
“I'm gonna fuck you so good, baby” he pulled up your skirt and peeled off your now dripping underwear before removing his own layers to free his cock. “And you're going to come on my cock like a good girl aren't you?”
You nodded desperately as he rubbed himself through your folds to spread the wetness, head catching on your hole every now and then.
“Please, I need you” you spread your legs wider and he bit his lip at your submissiveness.
He pushed just an inch in to start, then slid in more on every shallow thrust until he was fully inside you and you both let out a breath.
“Fuck” “Fuck”
He was more affected than he thought he'd be and he had to hold your hips down to stop you squirming and potentially ending this far too early for his liking.
You were feeling fuller than you'd ever felt before, fluttering around his length as you walls got adjusted to his girth.
He took a breath and gave an experimental thrust, knocking into your cervix and rendering you utterly boneless under him.
He repeated the action and you whined pitifully, his cock was hitting every spot perfectly at this angle and you knew you weren't going to last long.
After only a minute you were already drooling onto the desk and begging for him to go faster.
“Jesus Christ” he groaned, his hips slapping against your ass, “You're so fucking perfect for me, my perfect little slut”
You were already so close you could taste it.
“M'gonna come Jenson. Please make me come, I'll be a good girl for you, anything, just- please, fuck!”
He didn't stop this time, instead driving into you harder to chase his own release as you rode the waves of your high, made more intense by his unrelenting pace.
He finally came inside you as you'd just started to feel the ache of overstimulation and you twitched around him, feeling his cum leak out of you when he turned soft and pulled out gently.
The clean up was quick and awkward.
He sat down on the couch and you sat at your desk.
No one said anything for several minutes, gazes wandering around the room but never crossing...
You decided to brake the silence, being the only real adult in the room.
“I'll see what I can do for the tape” you sighed.
“Thank you” he bit his lip shyly.
“However...” you said, pausing to make him look at you. “I can't be your PR manager anymore”
He honestly looked like he was about to cry.
“But-“
You cut him off. “I will find you a replacement don't worry. But I'm almost going grey with how much stress you put me under, not to mention what we just did is entirely unprofessional, so I need to stop.”
“But-”
“However!” you cut him off again. “For the sake of the next person who's going to have to deal with you, and for my own personal needs. I'd be willing to make your sex life less public, and less... chaotic by becoming your girlfriend”
His jaw dropped. He definitely wasn't expecting that.
A small smile crept onto his his face that slowly grew until he was full on grinning at you.
You couldn't help smiling back.
“Don't think I hadn't noticed that all the shit you pulled was just to get my attention, I'm not that blind.”
He laughed and looked at the floor in embarrassment.
“So if you'll have me...” you got up and walked over to him, hooking a finger under his chin, “I’d love for you to bend me over every piece of furniture in your house”
He gulped and licked his lips as his pupils grew a fraction.
“Yes please”
#my thots#jenson thots#jenson button x reader#jenson button smut#jenson button#f1#formula 1#ask#request
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Hello! 👋 I love your Luther fics, you write him so well 💖 I have a bit of an odd request for him if you don't mind.
Could you do headcanons of Luther with a S/O who is aroused by his inhuman nature please? Like they're turned on by the fact that he is a cryptid and could potentially be dangerous if he wanted to. Maybe size kink stuff could also factor in? Anyways I hope you have a wonderful day/night!
Human | Luther Headcannons
➷ Paring - Luther Von Ivory x Fem!Reader [Randal's Friends / Ranfren]
➷ CWs - slight biting, size kink
a/n - this is an incredibly old ask, i am SO sorry i took forever on this,, im trying my best to do the older asks so if you’ve been waiting pleasedontkillme. anyhoot I LOVE LUTHER!!!!
Luther interests you immediately when you first lay your eyes on him
His big, wide eyes almost look small on his long face. Thin lips drawn into a line as he stares back at you. His brown pageboy haircut sways a bit in the light breeze, and you realize that you’re eyeing a stranger at the park
He notices immediately, walking up to you and making you realize how tall he is. At least 6’1, but you’re sure if he wasn’t hunching ever so slightly, he’d seem bigger
“You’re staring, you must like my new scarf.” He says, his voice smooth. It’s not as deep as you expected, almost monotone
He gestures to his dark green wooly scarf wrapped around his neck, noting the several rings adorning his long fingers. You also notice that the scarf is the only warming item of clothing on his body. Which is weird, considering its late fall in Canada
You nod, trying to break his gaze to not let nervousness overcome you. He’s interesting, and you think maybe he likes you with the round blush below his big, unblinking eyes. Swallowing any anxiety you’re sure he can sense, you hold out your trembling hand
“Would you like to get dinner?”
Time passes, and you realize very quickly just how special Luther really is
His house looms, halls leading into rooms and rooms that seem impossible to keep track of. He introduces you to his younger brother, Randal, who bombards you with questions you can barely register before Luther scolds him for overwhelming you
Very quickly, you say it’s alright– you’re just trying to think of a proper response. You’ll get back to him on who your favorite Joker is, it’s been a while since you’ve seen the movies
Your response to his brother seems to please Luther, liking how you don’t blow him off or get weirded out by his… big personality. His brother does mean a lot to Luther!
Then it’s his catmen, two almost twin like men with cat ears and drawn whiskers. You watch as they follow him, listening to him when he asks them to bring you a cup of water after you mention you’re thirsty
He’s the man of the house, he says. Responsible for all his family. It can be hard, he continues, but he tries his best. He’s only human after all ♡
Human, you think, totally
When Luther talks, you pay attention to the sharpness of his teeth. Mouth large as he bites into a sandwich, and you can only imagine him biting into your shoulder with those jagged teeth, long arms wrapped around you as he pulls you onto his lap—
You fantasize about being completely dwarfed and overpowered by him. The idea of being helpless and at the mercy of his inhuman strength is something that makes you shiver
You also love the way Luther casually invades your personal space, always standing too close, his presence overwhelming your senses. His proximity makes your heart race, aching to feel his large, cold hands on you
“What are you thinking, schatz?” He says, and maybe he didn’t mean to slightly open his second set of eyes, but he does… and you notice
Perhaps you should question it, but you’re sure it would be rude to bring it up to Luther. He’s not typical, nothing around him is as human as he thinks it is. For as long as he tells you he’s been around, you’d think he’d have it down by now
But it's okay, you think he’s cute the way he is :)
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My main YW is my Warlock Max so I’ll give some tidbits about him!
One of the older lightbearers! Time and chronology in Destiny is quite wonky but this man has been risen for around 150-300 years!
He was never Maximus at all before he became an Exo! He was Maxwell Lumière who then became Maxwell-1. But after coming back from the dead by his Ghost Spinner, he had some missing parts of his memory banks regarding identity. He had to complete Max////-1 for himself and decided to name himself Maximus-1.
With the previous point, he has suffered a lot from spontaneous reset syndrome. I headcanon him as to not having had any problems with DER during his pre-Risen days and so had been able to stay as Maxwell-1 for a long time. But when becoming Risen (as Maximus-1), he had suffered 11 spontaneous resets through his time as a Lightbearer. The earlier resets had him forget more but with time and with the Light, the chances of spontaneously resetting and the severity of memory loss becomes low.
Sentimentality is a big thing for him! He probably has pockets and bags and stuff filled with mementos from his friends. Biggest sentimental thing is his Warlock bond with the symbol of Shaxx’s Crucible. Even has a small room within his apartment looking like a museum full of such mementos.
Photographer! He likes taking pictures with his Ghost and anyone accompanying him. All those photos end up in his photo journal.
Guardians!
What are some of your head canons for your Young Wolf?
I'm interested. 👀
Give me little fun facts.✨
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I'm so not normal about nursery songs like You Are My Sunshine... we are singing our loved ones (babies and young especially) that they are the sun in our hearts, that they warm us with their very presence and that they are so, so dear and loved. How could you hate humanity when we have this unadulterated love for each other?
#positivity#that's why i changed my header to what it is now#entering my hopepilled era (i am still compulsively online about it though)#do other countries have songs like the english you are my sunshine? i am SURE they're out there#but each time i look for songs with the same themes as you are my sunshine it's just equivalent translations of the phrase#anyway... i know i post a lot of hopeful/positive stuff because we need it#the club is bumping. the ladies look good. the alcohol is flowing. there is much pain in the world but not in this room.#(also the context for that quote is the raver was ranting about how osama bin laden looks like a dick so FUCK that guy)#(note that the raver kid said FUCK osama because he looks like a dick. i am not supporting osama bin laden)#please for your own sake... find one small but beautiful thing and become OBSESSED with how beautiful and meaningful it is to you#if you are from another country and have a sweet or kind little poem/song akin to the song i mention: PLEASE SHARE IT PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE#please allow me the kindness of breaking my heart over how beautiful this world is because i cannot handle just how beautiful we are
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.
#i never really post about my Real Life Stuff on this account anymore but i feel like i must acknowledge the elephant in the room.#especially as a lesbian who lives in one of the most backwards southern states in the country.#the last few days have been an emotional rollercoaster for me. because of politics; because of work; because of a lot of stuff.#i know a lot of you are feeling the same which sucks but also shows we are in this together!#there is so much to be angry about but now more than ever i want to focus on the things i love#i love my family. i love my friends. i love my community. i love you.#i love creating art and consuming it. i love my job for giving me the means to help people even if its in a relatively small capacity.#i love being a lesbian no matter how loud hateful idiots believe they can be.#anyways.#hang in there guys. stay safe. stay connected. isolating yourself is not the answer.#carolcore
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my mum has decided she doesn't want any of my stuff in the rest of the house so i am now staring at my very filled bedroom.
#got like binbags of my halloween decorations. all of my food. all my dvds and books. all the random candles and wall decor i brought.#ig i'm climbing over it all everyday#(btw my bedroom is quite small & i have lots of stuff cause i'm reckless with my money. like my room was already packed full)#enbysiriusblack lore
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i need a new strategy for like, cleaning my room and doing yoga and reading and leaving the house. the adhd has reached mythic levels of bad. i have the thought, "i should do X," and then i won't move. i make a to-do list and i won't do anything on it. i queue up a yoga practice and i won't do it. i stare at my room and get stressed out about how cluttered it is. i write 3000 words of notes for a fic i don't even know if i'm going to write. i think and i think and i think about my OCs and they won't let me write them. i spend hours looking at stuff i can't buy. i take like an hour to write this.
#rum.txt#i have to do something about my phone...........#i might be able to uninstall tumblr#i can't uninstall twitter because the stupid fucking thing turns off notifications when you do#so i wouldn't be able to catch up on the accs i have notifs on for#(a very small list of forcebook- and kaibaek-related accs)#i can't uninstall instagram because of forcebook again lol#i also use it for recipes sigh#but i might start just... leaving it in my room when i get up and see how that goes#i'd also have to try to not look at my phone first thing in the morning#i also have to start actually getting up in the morning#i think that's the main thing#ok maybe when i take my medication in the evening i start getting ready for bed#it'll take long enough that it'll probably still be late but reasonable late#and not like. almost 3 am like now#one of the problems with my room right now is that i have a lot of STUFF#and i'm afraid of getting rid of the STUFF#because the last time i got rid of a bunch of STUFF#(mostly clothes)#i totally regretted most of it and i'm still like ah shit i don't have that anymore? :(#but also i have a big bed that i just want OUT of there#and a huge wardrobe that unfortunately holds a lot of the STUFF#so i don't know where all the STUFF would go#and every job i apply to sucks#and every job i actually want is TERRIFYING in both its unattainability and the miniscule possibility of its improbable successful executio#so i'm like stressed out about a thing that hasn't happened to make something that hasn't happened that i'm also stressed out about#every possible scenario whether i want it or not feels like it could lead to a meltdown because everything is so god damn hard right now#AND I FEEL SO!!!!!! SMALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#and the worst part is that i know all this is because my stupid fucking period is coming up#but just because my hormones are making me feel overwhelmed and melodramatic about everything doesn't make anything i've said untrue
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At some point soon ish I'll try to gather all my knives up for another group pic. It's been a while since I've taken one. I have so many fucking knives
#speculation nation#call me millions knives the way i own way too many fucking knives#the unfortunate thing is that i have knives just. fucking everywhere. god it'll be some work to gather them all.#ive got a lot of the small ones in a box and ive got most of the big ones in my closet#but i have a tendency to just kinda leave knives out like. everywhere lol#every room has at least one knife in it. for easy grabbing if i wanna open something#and then ive got knives in a few different bags. so i always have at least 1 knife on me when i leave my apartment#and i need to not forget stuff like my knife necklaces. i own. two.#and i own several knife keychains. which are in various places.#i admit it i am a knife nut. i just think theyre so cool.#i need to find my nonbinary knife. and my damascus pocket knife. theyre probably in some boxes or something#this is the kind of bachelor's life i live. the Knife Life. lol.
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Thinking about how embarrassed I was cause I realized that like. Look my roommates know how much I like Mario. But they had never seen my room in person before and they came over and saw my room and I had never been more embarrassed in my life for people to see my Mario collection. This is an acceptable part of me they do not mind at all or make fun of me I was being stupid but I literally laughed so hard when they were like "I know you said you had a lot of Mario stuff but I wasn't expecting this much" CHCHCHXNXND
#I literally was like “Okay i bring a lot of Mario stuff to school right? that is only a small fraction of it.” lmfao#there is not a single place on my room that doesn't have something mario related visible#i gotta get rid of some stuff when i move and by that i have like 2-3 backpacks that serve 0 purpose#i use a mario kart one for cosplay storage but i have a tote for that now
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When you FINALLY organize your hobby closet. 👍
Whos next? 💪💜👊
#took me 5 hours to gut the whole closet and find all the one time hobbies im never gonna try again#for real this closet could not be stepped into yesterday#the shelves were so full i couldnt put both my phone and a drink down without moving something#now the tubs are organized#the shelves are clean#and once i hang up a few shadowboxes and knick knack shelves most of my crystals will be off the shelf#and the finished dnd minis#when we moved it was just from one unit to another in the same apt so we didnt have a moving day so much as a moving week#so nothing was orgainized by room when we moved in so i tossed a lot of stuff in closets#this is the 1st one done#i might do the small hallway closet today....#or both hallway closets... they dont have too much in them like this one did#man i wish i did a 'before' shot#mc og#organization#decluttering
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The chronic back pain I get because I don't have a desk to work at is mad. I feel like an old woman. I'll be graduating this degree with a piece of paper and a walking stick.
#law school woes#I have a giant bed that's helped with some of my sleeping issues ngl#but there's no fucking room for a desk#at this point I'd be down to just have a singlebed mattress on the floor again just so I can get a goddamn table and chair in here#sleeping on a mattress on the floor is underrated btw I kinda liked that part of moving places a lot#I'm closer to the ground and the earth#but also the design of this room is so poorly done#I like when a bed is long ways against a wall cause I like sleeping in corners - feels safe#but this room has sliding cupboard doors on one wall#windows spanning most of another wall#and so there is no corner in this room where a bed could comfortably be lengthways against one of the bare unobstructed walls#cause the head and foot of the bed would be in inconvenient and definitely not harmonious places#and it would mess up the whole damn affair#so instead I have to have a bed in the middle of the room smack bang and taking up so much more floor space#then there's my bedside table and my bookshelf#getting rid of the bedside table would not help#and removing the bookshelf MIGHT give me room for a small/thin table but no chair and now a problem with all the stuff that needs shelving#snatching the house design plans from whatever idiot did this#I was designing houses better at 12 years old in videogames
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YAYYY MISHA THEME!!!
MISHA 💖💓🩷❤️💕💖💓🩷💖❤️💖💓💓💖🩷💓
#i loevev them so much did you know that#currently saving up for him and it is HELL after spending it all on sparkel .so many quests and not enough timw .........#and . ouhhh havent had the chance to talk abt . shit what is it called . lemme go see real quick .#A CHILDS DREAM . yknow that one map with the text on the walls and the melted clocks and stuff .#that was done . SO incredibly well it makes me INSANE...........#so like . im 100.1% sure the speaker (who talks abt mikhail a lot) in that room is misha.#like that IS her voice right . im not going insane#its just . auuh... the dreams (or at least golden hour) in peacony are so childlike .... like . some of the puzzles are jigsaw puzzle ;#turn into a small cartoon character ; and help the cartoon character find his cartoon gears .#and then you get to clockie . who can only be seen by someone w a childs innoence (or smth around those lines)#and that misha can see clockie . which like . cool right ? yeab. UNTIL YOU GET TO A CHILDS DREAM ..#where theres something just ... sososo off .#and its ... its just gotta be misha . its gotta be . idk if theres anything outside of main story im missing (there probably is)#BUT . augh . auf even .#childs dream still has these childlike qualities to it (the paper birds; walking on walls) but just ... more warped#(the general atmosphere of the place; the monsters even .)#the music having a music box to make the tone of the song more distressing ... how its so much more smaller than golden hour ..#aughhhhhh ... its just such a good parallel..... i could talk abt it all day really .#anyways . i WAS going to tell u abt my misha theory (which may or may not be confirmed) bu t i got DISTRACTED.#uhh anyways . my theory is that misha is somehow trapped in peacony .#when misha goes onto the parlor car they mention that theyve never been outside of peacony before and that she can t stay for long .#which i imagine is very normal! BUT its this combined w her lock motif (pupils; most of the doors in childs dream) thag make me suspicious#i mentioned before that golden hour has a very childish quality to it. and that misha has that childish quality.#okay well . what if mishas being kept there so that golden hour can keep on being a dream for other people?#and so that would make golden hour mishas dream. (or part of his dream? could be more people the familys keeping)#and that would imply that childs dream is . well . mishas nightmare .#uhm . i think thats it ..? if i come up w anything else ill . ramble abt it somewhere . definitely not the most eloquent but#i hope i got the point across <33#i think its an understatement to say i love misha . i LOVE MISHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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trying to remember that good friends enjoy doing occasional favors for the people they love and it's not weird to ask them for help when you need it..............
#asking for help is literally a skill#one i have not learned in my life lmao#i was just talking to my brother about how neither of us know how to ask favors - big small or in between#''can you vacuum the living room'' is just as terrifying to ask someone as big things like ''can you drive me to the airport''#its so much easier to just figure things out yourself even if it sucks and its overwhelming and you have plenty of people who WOULD help#if you just asked#this is probably the biggest hurdle i've had to face as an adult. truly#because as a kid/teenager this behavior made me independent and mature for my age#but as an adult it makes me exhausted and lonely and i'm NOT capable of doing everything on my own#but instead of sharing that burden i just. let a lot of stuff go unfinished#even important stuff#and it's so hard to break this habit but i'm TRYINGGGG#even though 2024 is trying to kill me i'm trying so hard 😭😭😭
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