#idk much abt her i think? i had a book illustrated by her as a kid but idk what

[candysharkart]

louise as a vehicle for style study- was trying to imitate sheila beckett i dont think it reads like that very much but it came out cute enough anyway so oh well

[saradesuchiha]

DES Ü'S NARUHINA FAIR WRAPPED!

PS. LONG POST LMAO

hogwarts au // this was alot of fun to make. this was supposed to be like a quick draw but i was enjoying the moment rendering this comic i ended up w a full blown illustration lmao

1. sunshine family 2. vampire 3. arranged marriage 4. forbidden 5. right person, wrong time

i discovered alot of new creators and very much loved and enjoyed @lavdiiaa and @narutosgirl7's entries :D

//in no particular order

powerful_niya day 12/15/28 entry @powerful-niya - arranged marriage / gifted & cursed / royalty HISTORICAL AU IS MY WEAKNESS. I'M SUPER IN LOVE W THIS. i loved the combination of the elements and it is beautifully written. 100/10 STARS *CHEF'S KISS*

narutosgirl7 day 27 entry @narutosgirl7 - smile FLUFF. FLUFF. FLUFF. i was a smiling idiot reading this. U OWNED MY HEART

secrettastemakerland day 27 entry @secrettastemakerland - smile DORKY IN LOVE NARUTO UGHHHHH hinata w braces ashflaksfhakla + sakura being the best wingwoman!! this fic is so adorable

croissantandmacarons day 8 entry @croissantandmacarons - in-laws HINATA MEETING NARUTO'S FAMILYYYYY AAAAAAAHHHH i love their interactions. minato and kushina and jiraiya in this story. very heartwarming

jimni_soo day 6 entry -sick this is a portuguese fic. i read this w google translate. i balled my eyes reading this. i couldn't think straight. i'm too soft and very emotional for fic like this and yet i loved it

//in no particular order

nuella day 3 entry - study dates NUELLAAAA GURL U KNOW I LOVE U AND UR ART. i'm so in love w this. this was inspired by our times. i adore that film sm!!

hyorinbaek day 23 entry @hyorinbaek - cottagecore I LOVE THE COLORSSS. SO PRETTYYYYYY

jjoneechan day 28 entry @jjoneechan - video game THIS IS SO COOL. JEI IS SO TALENTED.

av_bocetos day 28 entry @avbocetos - royalty AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA this was for prompt exchange. i love royalty aus. i didn't expect her to make so many entries in this prompt. GURL U SPOILED ME SMMMM ILY

lavdiiaa day 9 entry @lavdiiaa -crossover for the nth time, i love historical aus LSHFALSKFHSALKFHAF THIS IS TOO CUTE. LOOK AT THEM FLIRTING. ANDDDD HANABI IS TOO DAMN ADORABLE. for some reason ur art reminds me of one of julia quinn's book covers. i can't recall which is it but it's one of the illustrated versions

//in no particular order

@sessakag @powerful-niya @secrettastemakerland @narutosgirl7 @/fernand53914020 (twitter)

i was patiently waiting and also always excited to see ur entries. i literally put off my reading list to read fics this month. i read fics in the morning and didn't expect to read some smut at that time lmao. thank u sm for all ur wonderful works.

//in no particular order

@/nuella (twitter) @/toyokonotokoro (twitter) @shamylicious-blog @/hinahimalena (twitter) @popipapepu

talented. amazing. wonderful. beautiful. idk how many adjectives to put here abt u and ur art/socmed au. thank u for blessing us w ur work.

funny, we had nh fair idea + plans wayyy back feb 2022.

it was supposedly for nh week (april) but considering we just finished nhmonth2021 and sunshine siblings week (jan) we thought creators needed a creativity break.

we were also considering the possibility that someone might host nhmonth2022 around may. bc last year, we had a backlash setting nhmonth2021 in december. some ppl told us it's overshadowing hinata's birth month and told us to move it around november instead or may since they told us it's naruhina's wedding month. but our main concern was for the participants bc they were the ones needed more time to prepare their entries for we announced it last september.

this year, that one anon ask ignited this to happen.

tbh i was hesitant at first to host again bc of last year's experience. it was fun but it was quite nerve-wracking bc i thought no one will participate considering there were ppl boycotting nhmonth2021. i was afraid it may happen again. very grateful for ate @quirrrky uplifting my spirit to continue hosting this event.

this year's celebration was a BLAST

i literally had the time of my life.

i did mention earlier that i experienced emotional stressed. it's bc of some internal fandom conflict but it wasn't related to the event. but some misinformation happened and the event was thrown in between, so i had to put myself in the situation and mediate. i didn't expect to be this emotionally attached to this fandom. i don't like seeing my mutuals fighting and it was quite hard for me to deal w the situation. it somehow got into me and derailed my momentum, so i took a break.

very grateful for all the entries bc it has kept me going every day. my heart swells w pride and joy seeing everyone's work. i enjoyed seeing and reading each one knowing the creator put their heart and soul into making it for naruhina. i wish i could express myself better w words and tell everyone i truly feel. i just hoped u feel our gratitude and our love and respect through our thank u cards.

i also loved seeing ppl commenting to the creator's post. sending their love. some got inspired to write or draw based on ones entry. i also love seeing ppl giving ideas according to a specific prompt and maybe someone will took inspiration from it.

how i wish i could have more entries. i only have 12 prepared before the event started. i wanted to draw the remaining days on the same day to challenge myself like i did last year, but i failed this year lmao. i was also anticipating some random things to happen that may inspire me to make art.

well, it turns out it did. one for the dilf thread and one from my crazy interactions w ate @bornonthebreakofdawn and @keycipo. i was just innocently scrolling through twitter, i did not expect to see that underwear huhuhuhu. i always send ate born anything naruto related and when i saw that post, i immediately sent it to her. didn't expect senny's posts abt giving naruto little hats. then suddenly both random ideas merged KLASHFKASHFSALKFA IT WAS CRAZY. i was smiling the entire day. i wasn't expecting @wickermayne to join in and write something too hahaha thank u sm for that wonderful, smutty fic. it was such a treat!

my total entry count is 16 but i have +2 more pending bc it's a collab w @keycipo. +2 more i didn't release; one is i decided to delayed posting for personal purposes. the second felt like it didn't fit the prompt. but i'll post these soon at the right time.

speaking of collabs, i'm very grateful for the ppl i collaborated w this month:

@powerful-niya, i can never thank u enough. u are such a sweet heart and a visionary. i very much loved and enjoyed working w u. i'm so happy i met u. my door is always open for ur wonderful ideas. can't wait for us to collaborate more in the future.

@mysummerchoi i know u very much hate angst but i'm very grateful u jumped in and took time and effort to make our collab possible. thank u for always putting up w my crazy ideas. love u always ancient one.

@jjoneechan so happy that we're able to collaborate! jei is one of my fav artists in narutwt. we both have different styles and putting our drawings together was quite challenging. i was scared at first that i might ruin their art when i was editing them together. but i really loved how it turned out. IT WORKED SO WELL *chef's kiss*

@avbocetos AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH u are a wonderful wonderful person. so happy we did this huhuhu. i didn't expect for u to make THREE/FOUR ART from the prompt i choose HUHUHUHU thank u thank u smmmm~

@keycipo I BELIEVE IN U. take ur time. we can post anytime ;)))

THIS GETTING SO LONG. I STILL HAVE MORE TO SAY HAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHA but i'll cut to the chase.

to the ppl who donated and bought the printables on my ko-fi, thank u sm. i hoped u enjoyed the materials and goodies we have for this event.

i already express my gratitude abt creator spotlight. huhuhu

I'M FOREVER GRATEFUL TO THIS COMMUNITY. my love for naruhina has extended for u guys. thank u for welcoming me and my art. thank u for giving me an opportunity to host an event for naruhina. thank u for always believing in me. thank u for the friendship and love and support and everything. i love all very very much.

🌤️

[knifesxedge]

hi love im deep in ur art blog for reasons and im SO in love with the fact that ur ghoul has his OWN nickname tattooed on him in party's writing they are SO 🥺 was wondering if you wanted to talk a bit more abt ghouls tattoos??? theyre just SO gorgeous and intricately laid out

HI i LOVE u i am KISSING u i would love love love to talk about ghoul’s tattoos 🥺❤️

^ yeah ghoul & party have each other’s handwriting tattooed!! for party it’s one of the only tattoos they have & it’s right over their heart (im sure ive mentioned this fact before but idk if ive explicitly noted that it says ‘sunshine’) and ghoul didn’t have the space to put his right over his heart because poison’s kj symbol is there so his is on his upper arm (they ARE soooooooo 🥺 i love them)

ghoul’s tattoos are a healthy mix of sentimental ink and things he just thought were beautiful. when he met the rest of the four he didn’t have THAT many tattoos because 1. he was 14 2. he’d only been in the zones for a little under a year and a half at that point but the ones he DID have (aka his oldest tattoos) were his knuckle tattoos (‘freed’ and ‘fuck’ what can i say he was 13), the big raven on his upper shoulder and neck (he started believing in the witch very early compared to other cityborns but yeah that tattoo was both a way of symbolizing his devotion to the witch and a way of marking himself as a killjoy/shedding his past in the city in the way that he considered clearest), the fangs on his hand, two bats on his leg, the zombie bite on the other side of his neck (i could get a little more into this but BASICALLY ghoul being an ex-crow trainee + a cityborn + being the only surviving member of his first crew had a problem with feeling inhuman and a lot of survivor’s guilt and so he really. idk he connected a lot with zombies & frankenstein’s monster and ghosts & the like when he was a runner for dr. d post-his crew’s deaths. he got better about Seeing Himself as a Person especially once kobra + the other two showed up but the fascination remained) (also not tattoo-related but that’s when he chose his name. before that he’d been called ‘sandpup’ by his old crew & he never had a chance to tell them before they passed but he really loved that they used that as a name for him especially with how much he didn’t want to associate himself with the city) (ghoul had A Lot of issues but the difference there is that he worked thru them a lot earlier than the rest of the four) and “I FORGIVE U” on the back of his neck (in remembrance of said former crew).

umm along with that kind of fascination with the undead/feeling that kind of connection are the frankenstein stitches on his wrists (tho thats more of a common hc) and he has this pretty big tattoo of abstracted bones following his vertebrae down his throat and chest that he’s gotten expanded/fixed/touched up over the years. ik i do a lot of b&w doodles but i feel like i’ve been kind of inconsistent about coloring (most of his tattoos are color). pretty sure ive mostly drawn them in green (???) but in my head they’re like a faded light blue using natural skin tone as highlights.

his more sentimental tattoos…let me see if i can outline them here. this might not be exhaustive but i will do my best to list what ive figured out at least thus far:

the two little bats on his right thigh are for his grandmother and little sister. his sister (juliet adele fujikawa, b. april 2009 d. december 2014) was killed in a car crash shortly before he left the city, and likewise, his grandmother (charlotte fujikawa [藤川 千尋] b. june 1936 d. december 2014) was “moved to retirement housing” at about the same time. that was pretty much the last straw & ghoul left battery city within the week

there’s his crewmates’ symbols on his chest (in order from his right to left: kobra, jet, party) (gotten when their crew had been together for a while. dating this one is based on a couple things: 1. ghoul had been with them for long enough that he felt secure 2. poison and ghoul were friends by this point, or else he wouldn’t have included their symbol and 3. poison’s is over his heart so you can read into that as you will)

text from the graffiti bible on his right calf, as protection for his crew & as a reminder of one of his former friends who was a droid that believed very strongly in destroya’s return

his raygun on his chest (he was pretty proud of the design! this was when he was ~15 or 16) that he had poison’s added to post-sing post-engagement pre-commitment ceremony (so. september 2023) (yes i have my handwritten timeline + my own drawings + my fics out in front of me rn cross-referencing sldkdksksbx!)

one of the girl’s childhood drawings (one she drew of him & her & the stuffed animal he made for her when she was a baby all having a tea party together) from when she’s about 5 or so on his right hip (december 2022 or so)

shooting stars on his upper right shoulder, partially because they’re pretty and blend well with his other tattoos and partially because they’re a reminder of a lot of things, including but not limited to his first night out in the zones seeing the stars for the first time, stories his grandma used to tell him, and right when he’d first joined the fab four and him & kobra sat on the roof during a meteor shower

besides the other one i already mentioned ^ he has more of poison’s handwriting on his left inner forearm — this is also one ive mentioned before but once they’ve been in a relationship for a while they get into the habit of leaving little love notes around for each other! there’s nothing particularly special specifically about the one he got tattooed, besides the fact that it reminded him of poison and they love each other. the text in full (which i don’t think ive ever put anywhere, though im pretty sure ive put fragments of it in fics and art) is as follows:

Good Morning baby <3! I needed new paints, went on a run. Kobra has the Girl @ the Crash Track, Jet’s at the station. call me when you wake up! I love you, be back soon. XO Party <3

he also has the anniversaries of when they started dating and their commitment ceremony (03•03•21 and 10•26•23 respectively) on the inside of his right wrist ^ !

he’s got a snake wrapping around his left leg that kobra picked out and a hand of cards with the ace of spades face up that jet picked out (and these ofc are because they remind him of his crewmates!!)

he has the phoenix witch tattooed on his ribs, left side, styled vaguely after catholic saints (since that imagery can still be found in the inner zones & especially where ‘joys who still practice that religion gather!)

there’s a version of the eye from the mailbox on his right shoulder, and this one is also a sort of symbol of protection/good luck, to show devotion to the witch and to help protect himself and his crew

the constellation libra on his left forearm! this one was done a little while after he started running transmissions and supplies for dr. d! he liked the connection that astrology — whether he believed in the practice or not is up for debate — gave people to the stars, and the feeling that he had a place in the universe, predestined or not

after charlie is born, he gets a portrait of her (~age 4) with her name and birthday underneath done on his left thigh! (~2036)

and on his lower back, he has a fairly simple tattoo of two crows on a wire with their beaks pressed together (aughhhhhh romance) that he gets done as an anniversary surprise for their 10-year (so. 2033)!

his non-sentimental tattoos are largely based off of images from books, either from dr. d’s collection when he was working as a runner for him or from cherri’s after he joined up with the fab four, or else they’re naturally occurring in the zones!! this includes but is not limited to: california golden poppies on the back of his left shoulder, strawberries around his left bicep (he doesn’t ever have a strawberry until he’s like 35, this one is absolutely based off of a particularly pretty illustration), a thundercloud with lightning on his left elbow, a moon on his right inner bicep, a ring of thorns around his right forearm right under the elbow, a dagger on his inner left calf, and a sun, small bat, cross, rose, ribbon (with the word ‘faith’ in script), and wing on his right forearm and hand, all picked from flash sheets

so yeah! that’s about everything i have to say about ghoul’s tattoos atm but ty ty ty sm for letting me ramble abt them i think about his tattoos so much 😔❤️

[nicollekidman]

Hi the same anon again. Sorry for the repeat messaging but I refuse to actively engage in this batshit fandom and you’re actually managing to be normal about stuff, and I’ve been thinking about contrasting interpretations of Alina. Because in my initial read through I accepted her ending, and felt that it fit her character. And I always see people say that it’d have fit her character to remain in power. And I honestly think that dissonance ultimately comes down to the weakness (or strengeth depending on how you want to look at it) of Alina as a defined character in the books. Like she definitely has some sort of personality but her motivations feel all over the place. Because if you go in with the understanding that the Darkling and Nikolai and the people of ravka were all putting pressure on her to be good and pure and saintly and a font of power and an equal in every measure except in will and a figurehead and so on and so forth and the belief that by crossing the line and perverting her power by using merzost, they became a burden, it makes Sense that she’d give up her powers and quietly run an orphanage with Mal because Mal was the only one to see her through all of it and stick around (even if he was a bit of an ass abt it sometimes) and that she’d leave behind her name because the people of Ravka Did need their sun saint and it’d be cruel to rip their faith from them like that. But if you go in with the understanding that wanted this power and that the Darkling was offering her a way (abort twisted way) to more and that she could’ve done it her own, much better way, it becomes a different story

i really should be working instead of answering this skdfjgh but i think it's kind of like...... are you looking at alina through the lens of what all these men are offering her/see her as, or are you more into her POV about these relationships. and really it's exactly what deah said, that you "ship" her with who would fit what you want alina to be, because so much of her is left unfulfilled in Possibilities. but i also think i felt like she was a pretty consistent and interesting character for me from the drop, the only complaint i had was how much she and mal mooned over each other but that made sense to me!

because personally for me as i was reading, her connection to mal feels very much like her connection to keramzin and childhood and simple times - she likes who she is around him (good, uncomplicated, half of a pair) but she also...... was starved and weak during her childhood and saw mal as shelter. PLUS what no one ever talks about (jk i only know three people who even blog about this) is that...... mal was an amplifier too!!!!! leigh brushes over that complication and what it means for their feelings/free will WAY too quick. i think mal sees in alina what he wants her to be and she thinks she should want that too. but if you see alina's journey as a girl who wants peace and belonging and stability, ending up powerless and married off in the forrest makes sense. but for me, mal feels like the past, and not the future.

i think the darkling sees more of alina's Self than he typically gets credit for, and that's where a lot of alina's fear comes from, PLUS i also do NOT buy the ending justification that the power was never hers to take and that giving it up for the good of the country was somehow not a complete devastating loss for her. for me, the darkling has a clear agenda in HOW she uses her power, but he does ultimately see alina in a way no one else is able or willing to do.... she is a grisha and her power makes her whole - she spends the whole trilogy pushing against the darkling as Villain while having a singular vision of exactly the same thing as he does (morozova, power, them together). neither of them have any use of the Sankta outside of how it helps their separate agendas, and both have valid reasons for staying away from each other, and neither can. i just think if you take an orphan who has been weak and appetiteless her whole life, then give her the power to summon the sun and a whole heap of desires she's never felt before, that's going to unleash a whole new path that deserves to be explored. and even if alina wanted to go back to her old life, the LOSS should've been felt.

once i finish soc i want to go into inej/the sol koroleva more because i think if the books had lingered past the final confrontation with the darkling, alina's position as saint would've been the number one most impactful element of her life, especially as she outlived everyone who knew her and thus became even more enshrined in mythos and belief.

ANYWAYS! i think i just view alina fundamentally as someone who willingly shut away a huge part of herself in the darkness for the majority of her life so she could be warm and protected and simple, and once she embraced the power, there was no going back for her. idk how you can look inside yourself and say "sorry i kept you waiting" and then give that all up and not feel the emptiness. i think canonically she would've been happiest dying with the darkling, but barring that, i think she'd always have a hunger and a desire for More, whether it be off on a ship exploring more of the maps she used to fill out, or ruling grisha and pushing her powers to see what could be done with small science (and merzost). i'm interested in the darkling as his own character and being outside of alina (which i can't say for any of the others) but if we're using different ships as a way to illustrate our ideal paths for alina.... i would just want her to look forward and not back, without having to burn part of herself away.

[thecrenellations]

Return of the Thief Notes, Part Two: The Book of Pheris, Volume 2, Chapters 1-5

Notes from my first read, October 2020. (Part One | Part Three | TaT)

Contents: Me losing my mind in multiple ways each chapter, helpful links, nighttime garden cousins, an Irene pun, notes from my second read, “mwt is just like going for it,” and “this is so fucked up and heartwarming.”

Format: Page number. My thoughts (Context?)

Volume 2

Illustration

Book 2 bro

Now we’re caught up and changed forever by lots of things

What printer’s apprentice made this?

Elephants!

Chapter 1

175. me too, Costis, me too. I am so tired. (it’s hard to sleep when your brain and heart and everything are fizzing because you’re reading Return of the Thief for the first time and a new Queen’s Thief book for the last time) 

176. Klimun + Gerosthenes vibes [moon doodle]

Holes in documents. That’s cute

Gen!!! <3

Wtf Ansel was hoodwinked!

177. The Queen waited

They’re ridiculous

Hi Pheris

Wtf he stole her earrings for Melheret?!?

178. Excuse me??? What is this book (sleeveless leather tunic)

He still roams!!!

Tattoos!

179. a sentence I never fucking expected to read ever “The absence of tattoos…”

180. that’s interesting

Stacked like kindling wow oh dear

181. She wants him to move in lol

Lol sorry Ion

Did she just want them to leave the room?

182. I can’t with this… I can’t. Why is sex symbol Relius canon. (the play that featured him! It’s great, it’s great, it was just a lot to take in!)

Silver crown?

183. Cleon! Rude!

Did they call Costis to deck him?

Queen scene!! <3

184. This is an epic. Abt Costis. Dirty stranger

185. he’s “the high king”

Lol

187. prophet (Pheris sure makes Costis sound like one)

Shut up Piloxides

188. resources for war! (book launch foreshadowing part two! She talked a lot about this kind of thing as well, and recommended the book Alexander the Great and the Logistics of the Macedonian Army)

189. “we”

What were you gonna say (Gen almost says something to Costis part one)

193. RIP The Magus Archives … it was not to be. Yet.

194. Melenze’s doorstep. Why? Bc Melenze is Ferria’s dog. (idk dude that line from ACoK has just never left me)

195. This is … a big war

196. Oh gen

Nighttime garden cousins.

Chapter 2

197. wtf did Relius think of that play

Also … not a peep from the sacred mountain huh

198. wtf will happen with Cleon

with Erondites

with THE MOUNTAIN

a lot going on

everyone was in that room but Kamet! So close!

199. Cute Fordad + Gen friendship (I never said these notes would make me look smart)

Same 2 T + R! :) It’s not them is it? (I NEVER SAID THESE NOTES WOULD MAKE ME LOOK SMART)

Poor Teleus

200. gdi Gen

Excuse me? Is he worried for Pheris??? (taking his tablet)

They trust each other! C’mon!

Sure he has reasons

202. oh dear. :( that’s … the worst cover story

Also falling

203. wow almost like a story huh

Ula’s altar :(

Why haven’t we had a Gen and Costis scene IN THREE BOOKS

205. I just … I don’t know if he’s just miserable or if it’s all a plan. I feel like I should know it’s all a plan. But he really feels like he has far to go. He’s just a mess and the same and so different. (having a small Gen meltdown)

205. he did give him the gun

Odd that he missed Quedue

206. he’s gonna bite them (buckle up! it’s abdication time!)

207. Power. Power. Power. Power.

Thx 4 the editorializing Pheris

208. Gen is making choices. That’s a choice.

209. There’s KoA down the drain

Aaaand he’s Eugenides

“Eugenides stared into the future”

The page of like 3 different tumblr posts: Trophy husband, Library, No! yes!

210. make sure he doesn’t leave lol

211. Pheris :(

Also fucked up timing for Irene

I love them

212. again with the birthday book

He’s still the king in the narration

Go on the roof! So close!

213. EUGENIDES IS ALWAYS APPROPRIATE my motto

Viper! Bastard!

Oh shit. I love them.

214. “our treaty” “our queen”

AAAH! Wedding night!

Asked her to leave!

Smash Erondites and peace out, literally

215. a frank talk

HE SAID IT.

216. The Bructs?

Wait is this his grandfather (taking a moment to remember all about Susa)

Also that’s Costis territory

217. who is this lion

218. #3 to Gen.

219. hmmm ring

There’s been a lot to unpack wow.

Did this happen, Pheris? Pheris?! 

220. Atté atté!

(Dear reader: for some strange reason, I completely forgot about taking notes on the final pages of this chapter. These notes are from when I reread those pages a few minutes later.)

Erondites full cup to brimming

The Pherises…

We must think of others before ourselves … occasionally

I do not like Orutus

Don’t fence Costis in! Does this count as prison? No (I had a square on my bingo board for “someone ends up in prison” ... but it turned out to be for someone else)

221. damn Costis

Aaah

Costis …

Irene… your jokes (I mean, it’s a joke, but also it is very real for her.)

SHE SAID IT!

My heart

222. where is Relius going?

SPYING

What you see and what you think it means (I love these instructions/this quote so much)

So are Susa + Erondites 2gether or what (listen ... proximity generates meaning in these books)

Also, like

What can

I say

WHAT CAN I SAY (Hell yeah! Never more glad to be wrong about the magus)

[page long list of doubles and parallels - from Cleons and Pherises and Ions to god-character and character-character connections]

Also the fact that in KoA and TaT Relius was like … oh … no … I just live a gentle life being friends with my king and queen and being scholarly. But no. He’s SPYING and TRAVELING MYSTERIOUSLY and has MANY LOVERS and also has been WITH TELEUS ALL ALONG and there is a PLAY written about him and he has a ~messenger~ network and PLAYS THE FLUTE and DOESN’T MAKE HIS BED and DISLIKES MATH and oh and he’s VERY HANDSOME! (Yes I was losing it, I hope my note from after the poem helps show some of the feelings behind this rant.)

Fucking … Wine shop. Should have known.

Chapter 3

224. ominous

Hello magus!

Sophos … babe (his impatience!)

225. Magus … cool your socks that’s your bff (he’s just describing Helen’s dead body! Fun!!!!)

In the van

That was good I love them

Why is it Couples Hour?

226. finally we’re out of the capital of Attolia

Ok they’re so cute

She was NEVER Helen in ACoK narration! 

Also – Pheris. This is all Pheris. (Pheris plus information others told him!)

227. Bringing each other up to date – that’s their thing. Talking forever

All this talk of shooting Therespides

228. EX FUCKING SCUSE ME (time to learn a lot about the country of Eddis)

He was 15! (or almost 15)

He didn’t know! Or did he!

The MoW!

All thru Pheris

Fuck you magus

When did he know

229. EXCUSE ME

The emeralds?

Assumed the worst?

That classic quote about little to do with winter but with “seducing other people’s lovers”

230. yeah Sophos that’s a lost cause (“spare me my blushes”)

Also she didn’t answer you

What are they laughing about (the generally nameless men we’re learning many things about this chapter)

233. Gen I think it’s fair to say that was a mistake

234. wtf Gen

GEN! he just. Had those. (the jewels!)

Her crown

I cannot

235. Gen!

237. Crash

Her CHANGES

238. THESE TWO

239. called annux

Yeah it’s like … a family meeting (the war council)

Bring your father to work day

241. Oh no.

Stenides! Boagus!!!!!!!

EDDIS!

Wolves! Lol

mwt is just like going for it

243. aww

Eddis > Boagus > Gen

244. Yeah I’m with her on this. (“if that doesn’t frighten you, it should”)

Chapter 4

245. Gen and Magus scene yes!

Two people affected by his long hair (Gen and the magus? I think?)

Pheris are you there?

Gen … you used to wish yourself out of existence

Wow

Hair vanity

Yeah also battlefield

Ion is a darling tbh

248. Is he. Is he going to fight all of them

Also they are all his cousins huh

AULUS! I liked you!

Same, Hilarion

Taking a page out of Costis’s book?

You have definitely seen it before. (I mistook his lie for truth!)

Will Costis hear about this? (please)

249. #4 to Gen!

Pheris where are you

Why doesn’t the Continent want to conquer them (do I get partial credit for this)

A tattoo!

250. “Do not offend the gods”

Honestly … too bad Helen DIDN’T do this

251. he said he’d give all he had

I’m sure there are rules

253. Just men? :( (let everybody fight him!)

Ornon is back! I mean, of course he is

Also yea they practice

HELLO ORNON

A house being built … or one knocked down. Nice

Is Teleus in on this?

254. Pheris called him my king!

255. I wanna know which guards though

:( he’d been faking

Kicked him in the head (ouch)

256. “when he fell”

I … don’t like this

He never gives up. The thieves don’t have limits. They have flash points.

Stepped on his hand

“Enough Gen” – what Irene said?

257. :( :( :( :( :( :( :(

The magus. I forgot he was there.

The magus said … nevermind …

The magus is probs very into this as a cultural thing. Also he was talking to the MoW

Pigeon. The sky. :( Like in TT (OH BOY, THE SKYYYY)

If there was a god, Pheris would see…

258. They’ve, they’ve been through a lot.

Oh god what’s next

259. I … no. not in his arms to the palace.

The palace where….

The stairs…

They are all 3 lookers. Basilisks and brass and lead

I hate this. But I love this.

I will someday see this differently.

Ah yes… the grunt. Approval.

260. Honestly, this is so fucked up and heartwarming. These books.

Lol don’t defend Hilarion, we know him

Eddis visits him.

Attolia watches him.

261.WTF Gen. I knew it. Why.

Crying or laughing? Crying? :(

How does this not undermine her now that he is her king?

But … what he wouldn’t do for her.

262. “he did fine”

This book is like… Reasons Gen Says Sorry

So, so… - Helen

GEN!

263. I am right. I am always right. It’s a curse.

Helen :( :( :(

The amount of times these people have seen him beaten.

He’s like … self destructive, but in a way that gives himself more power. Which he hates.

Gen, let them in. Let them in.

Chapter 5

264. honeycomb

OH NO. is it happening?

266. I’m just supposed to accept this?!! What does it mean?!

267. … a my king moment … important

But like … now can he fight?

Caryatid? [doodle after I looked it up]

268. Teleus!

C’mon Teleus. Everyone you love or respect loves him!

Honestly Pheris and Teleus … not a duo I expected

THESE TWO ARE SO DEDICATED TO TELLING HIM THAT! Ok I should chill. At least he said “may.” These are like … Pheris’s life lessons.

Honestly… I love that Teleus likes poetry, or at least likes it for Relius.

269. Lol Legarus. It’s been years! I mean, I guess that was a big deal for him… (almost being executed is a big deal for most people.)

Does he not love Gen because of Relius? Because Gen manipulated him? Because he keeps sending away his successor? Why on earth not! Hop on that train! (...)

It’s interesting that their relationship is the one that touches Pheris, not Gen and Irene. Hm.

Also … “Idiot.” The parallels.

“relatively gently” (it’s so good)

~Teleus here to talk about love~

This book is full of surprises.

270. That is NOT the bright side, Gen (“I could use my newfound authority to insist on going into battle”)

271. BUNNY! Wtf is a wineglass warrior

Very cute everyone, good job.

Still sad about Helen’s tears.

271. Gen. Don’t say these things. [volcano doodle]

272. SEE I was worried about this! The doubt!

I am not ok

This is TOO MANY Eddisian Revelations (Lader time)

Yeah. Wow.

273. Cleon x5

I … his grandfather

No.

Baby Helen begging

How did Pheris get this scene

Gen chose Cleon for his plan

275. IRENE WITH THE STATS!

276. lol Gen

My brother Sounis!

277. Missing Relius club.

Where is he though

Yes! Sophos Gen food fight!

Grapes!

“Wisdom”

He’s “the king” here and in KoA bc that’s the story but also that’s who he is to Pheris and Costis

278. So how did that Irene and MoW meeting go anyway?

How does Aulus know???

Thief short story! Probably terrible to reread, oh no

279. Are … are Aulus and Boagus together???! (“his slightly smaller partner”)

This feels … potentially traumatic … but fun? Idk

Fleece

280. This dang book. No rules!

The chandelier! So dramatic!

Mwt had … a lot to put into this one. A lot. A lot.

283. “not the Thief he was chasing”

284. The queens! The salute!

He can’t give this up.

Official Worries:

100,000 soldiers heading towards Kamet

Re: Lyopidus, Gen called Sophos his brother. Helen apparently might BE his sister. Temenus and Stenides are also going to a war where 9/10 will probably die.

Also

the MoW could have been a king if he’d stolen Helen’s throne. A lot there.

why does this book have the vibe of the library post, my comic from 2010, the king and queen interactions here, and the military tactics dream

[viktcrr-alt]

MAXENCE DANET FAUVAL / NONBINARY — don’t look now, but is that viktor samuels i see? the 24 year old visual arts student is in their senior year and he/they are a rochester alum. i hear they can be observant, ingenious, reticent and dependent, so maybe keep that in mind. i bet he/they will make a name for themselves living in garcia row. ( james. 20. est. she/they. )

LAST INTRO WOOOO !! u know what to mf DO !!

TW DEATH, HEAVY GRIEF, OVERDOSE / DRUG ADDICTION, HOSPITALIZATION, HYPERSEXUALITY, RELIGION MENTIONS, MENTAL ILLNESS

a e s t h e t i c s

old tvs and their static, worn tapes, horror movie screams, spilled ink, a sculptor’s hands, clay-stained, chicken scratch handwriting, messy notes, messy hair, scoffs and eye-rolls, bruised knuckles, sore throats, funeral homes and a crying preacher, shattered ceramics, knife fights, high ledges, vertically-striped pants, red lights, the moon shrouded in clouds, cigarette butts.

general info !!

full name: viktor phillip samuels

nickname(s): icky vicky :/

b.o.d. - jan 2nd

label(s): the black hole, the crepehanger, the impious, the opaque, the tempest, etc.

height: 6′0″

hometown: rochester, new york

sexuality: uuuhhh god … probably pan tbh

pinterest

stats

biography !!

okay so … born and raised in rochester, new york to the well known samuels family. preacher father, a mother, a twin sister born 15 minutes before him - aka tatiana samuels, who died back in january.

kinda … grew up as a really awkward, quiet kid? like … just didn’t really interact with other kids super well, preferred being alone and like … digging up bugs in the dirt. only friend was like … his own sister.

grew out of this as they got older, instead sort of … becoming a bit of a dick? to compensate for years of awkwardness? will bite the hand that feeds him. was a full on nuisance by middle school. tatiana was not, at least, noticeably.

has always been a fan of darker materials, y’know - grim and creepy, morbid shit. big fan of tim burton ever since he was a kid, which isn’t … a good look for a preacher’s son, but he’s never really felt ~in~ with the rest of his family, anyway.

drew disturbing pictures as a kid probably tbh that prompted one or two or five phone calls home 2 assure everything was fine.

has always been really … good at art, in general - from drawing to painting to playing with clay, that’s always been viktor’s Thing.

aNyWaYs. being tatiana’s twin brother was kinda hard sometimes. tatiana and him were near opposites besides their same mean-spirited trait. she was better in the public than he was, but viktor was arguably more talented than tatiana. they both loved each other deeply and found each other as competition for their parents’ attention - a rivalry, of sorts.

high school is when viktor really started to act out - started extreme, like losing his virginity in their church and vandalism around the neighborhoods. faked being possessed in the middle of sunday service. almost had an exorcism performed on him, probably.

the only redeemable trait was like … his sheer talent with art. was in a 3d art AP course, specialized in sculpting - could pretty much create anything he wanted with enough dedication.

because his parents would be focused on disciplining him for his antics, tatiana could sneak away and get away with stuff easier. so like, y’know, that’s on the bright-side of things.

never been particularly motivated to do much - wasn’t planning on attending lockwood but his parents kinda … did and sent in his application for him b/c they were Not on board with him Wasting Away (wanted him out of the house asap)

actually pretty smart !! just doesn’t like … want to apply himself ever. double majoring in english and visual arts because they’re like … two of his only interests :/ plus he wants to write and illustrate his own series of children books with a style similar to tim burton’s

he’d been experimenting since high school but college is where he really started to like … crack down on himself and figure himself out. was out as pan & nonbinary by his sophomore year of college, just … not to his family, necessarily. thinks tatiana always knew, but didn’t … really use it against him, blessedly enough

always felt like the whole twin - connection thing was … both wack and also not-wack? sometimes it felt believable but sometimes he had no idea what was going on in tatiana’s head. but he felt oddly transparent to her, always - like he was predictable to no one but her.

( TW DEATH, GRIEF, OVERDOSE / HOSPITALIZATION BEYOND THIS POINT )

but when tatiana disappeared - it was like, like viktor knew. the moment she had been kidnapped - felt something deeply wrong in his gut. and when tatiana died - viktor felt something cut so severely in him. he knew, he always knew exactly when. he couldn’t put his finger on how - but he knew. even when everybody else held out hope for her to be found - he knew.

went on a bender around the same time, had always struggled w/ drug addiction but it got worse the longer tatiana went without being found.

( also struggled heavily with his mental health, too ?? has manic and depressive episodes. will fixate on a sculpting project for six months and then purposely knock it off the table and destroy it in the matter of seconds once it’s finished for. no fucking reason. impulse spends A Lot. )

when her body was found, viktor went off the rails. ended up overdosing and being hospitalized where he spent the next like … however long months … until they deemed him better.

has been back since the beginning of fall semester in an attempt to finish his senior year - mostly out of his parents’ insistence that he did, because he very much did not want to. 

is still dealing with a lot of trauma & grief, which was only amplified with dean lockwood’s death - causing him to spiral and be unpredictable with his mental health. some days are good, and some days are very bad.

personality !!

the human embodiment of a gremlin, fed after midnight. a goblin, if u will. one of those cats with a narrow head and big ass ears. that’s him.

b i g horror & halloween enthusiast. loves the old campy horror movies. probably has an abundance of masks from different movies. dresses like a grimy millennial beetlejuice more than he should. love those vertically striped pants!

fashion alternates between e-boy (would b tik tok famous if he were like … 17), millennial beetlejuice, and like … goth in a crop top and sweatpants. big fan of crop tops. big fan of sweatpants.

he can be fucking mean. petty, aggressive, instigator. will literally spit in ur face or no reason. kind of person who’ll stick his gum into other ppl’s hair. other than that he’s like … pretty okay. he’s not always mean, he’s just a dick like … 70% of the time lmao

i mean yeah okay he’ll call someone a stinky bitch for no reason except He Feels Like It And Believes It. it’s fine he’s fine, we’re fine.

despite the fact tht he’s probably getting into fights whenever - considers himself 2 be a lover n not a fighter but that’s just because he Fucks a lot. kind of uses it like a coping mechanism, like he’s this big fancy carnival show that’s like ‘come one, come all! fuck the dead girl’s twin brother!’ may have a problem w/ hypersexuality but it’s nothing he’s fully. aware of.

the preacher’s whore son, basically

like i said he’s pan & nb, switches between he and they pronouns but like … he has such a fragile grip on his identity that u could call him ‘dog-faced bitch’ and he’d turn like hey wassup :)

vastly impulsive, like i’ve mentioned … destroys his own creations 4 the fun of it, spends all his money on useless shit, will cheat on someone bc he feels like it. screams into the night sky frequently, like a cat in heat.

i mean he also creates useless shit for no reason too. spent six months sculpting a hollowed out tree the size of him and then took a sledgehammer to it.

dramatic fuck. used to play the organ at the church like … when no one was looking after him and service was about to start. just these creepy as melodies. would do the same thing at home on his keyboard w/ the organ setting whenever he got grounded until his parents took away his keyboard sadjfkg

won’t talk about his time away b/c it’s not rly anybody’s business but ofc nothing is sacred to the watershed app, y’know, nothing’s private.

still like - he absolutely refuses to talk about tatiana’s death and like, his mental health or his addiction (he’s fallen back into it tbh but it hasn’t gotten bad again … yet) or like … anything involving his own emotions

will literally just change the topic! abruptly, no warning, asks about the jonas brothers instead.

that being said he’s obsessed with tatiana’s death. tatiana was very much a rock for him, kinda dependent on her in a way? just … being there, y’know, kept him grounded.

so he obv became a shepherd bc he wants to know Everything there is abt the app, wants to be deep inside it, wanted to know Who Exactly Killed Tatiana and like … not saying he wants 2 commit murder but :/ yknow. he’s very upset.

emotionally unavailable while also like crying twice a day.

will tell you straight up what he wants from you, no bullshit, no beating around the bush - just blunt. if he wants to just fuck, nothing else, then that’s that. if he feels deviation he’ll ghost in like. less than a second. kinda awful like that! feels no shame.

but like … also is emotional ?? as shit ?? it’s confusing. he’ll cry on a whim and then flip u off if u try to console him or like. ask him anything. will bite you.

he goes to therapy but he generally fucks around and wastes most of the time until the therapist threatens to like … idk what therapists r allowed to threaten. to send him off to another therapist? idk.

likes being intimidating but like … not with his body or nothing ‘cos he’s a TWIG, but like … uses his love for horror n creepy shit to his advantage. has an abundance of fake blood. has channeled the energy of jack nicholson and used it on tatiana’s boyfriends before.

( also a big fan of sfx makeup, has dabbled in it)

probably chases kids with a chainsaw (w/o the like … chain … or w/e … so it’s not actually Dangerous) around halloween

he’s generally never doing good, both mental health wise and morally.

would probably steal candy from a baby for the fun of it.

i don’t know if there’s a good to him, deep down, and i don’t know if he sees any issues with himself either !! nothing really breaks through to him anymore, the only person who ever really made him stop and Think about his actions was tatiana.

kinda introverted, recluse type who doesn’t rly like most people or going out, but he’ll go to parties if it means he’ll be high as shit.

pretty observant. likes to analyze people even though he’s probably not … fully right.

wanted connections !!

he lives alone currently but like … ex - roommates where viktor was just. a nightmare to live with.

feel like a lot of enemies is also a possibility !! viktor’s messy.

people that like … knew tatiana. dated tatiana, even, and viktor would pretty much try to intimidate / scare them at any given chance :/

close friends of tatiana too

people who hated tatiana but liked viktor. people who hated viktor but liked tatiana

people who take pity on him and he Hates it viciously and vocally.

a band of hooligan gremlin kids who do drugs and fuck shit up around town like they’re edgy teenagers even though they’re all early to mid 20s.

the girl he lost his virginity 2 in high school lmao … a distant memory

fellow rochester locals, from church or school or whatever

exes from the past !! good terms and bad terms, but i love bad terms a whole lot mainly b/c viktor’s a jackass.

don’t know if he’s soft towards anybody but we can try. we can Try.

friends, old friends, new friends, bad friends, good friends, close friends, frenemies, etc. etc. all of it

hookups !! so many hookups. fwbs, one night stands, whatever.

uuhhhh god. i don’t know. im so sleepy rn. people in the same major or similar majors.

maybe a ride or die.

people he’s a bad influence on / an enabler towards / all around toxic for them / each other.

people he’s fought !! people who’ve seen him get into random fights and were like ‘uh wtf’

fellow shepherds !!

literally anything im not picky.

[livvywrites]

the ask goblin emerges,, but imma see how much ik abt you,, 1 (probs bc ur daydreaming got out of control & just jumped onto paper), 2 (p young), 3 (something fantasy idk pls tell), 4 (fantasy), 5 (,, sports is a genre in the sims i imagine u'd hate that a lot), 6 (all of them), 7 (u have no weakness), 8 (too many),,, you need to answer 9, 10, 11, 12 bc i have no idea

1. What made you start writing?

hahaha that’s what made me start writing TMQ but in general,,,

i loved reading & the way it made me feel & how it let me go on adventures even when i was sick & stuck in a hospital bed & i wanted to give other people that experience.

2. How old were you when you started writing?

yesss. i first decided i wanted to be a writer when i was like,,, uhhhh. i was in 3rd grade so around like, 7? 8? p damn young.

& i started actually writing at like 11, though i had written sporadically before that.

3. What was the first story you ever wrote about?

haha. yes & no.

the first novel i sat down & tried to write was about gryphon riders & it TOTALLY wasn’t a ripoff of my favorite book at the time (Eragon)

but before that, i had written & illustrated my own book about a dog superhero; & had also turned an old horse calander into a story.

4. What’s your favorite genre?

y e p.

5. What’s your least favorite genre?

lmfao

okay i actually read like. these books when i was younger about like. kids who played sports (there was a series about baseball i read bc. they were there?) & while i don’t think it’s a genre exactly it isn’t my favorite no.

my least favorite is probably like. horror?? like. i enjoy some horror things every now and again but most of it is too much for me. same for crime fiction/thrillers. & i don’t like romance that ends with one or both people dying?? & tragedies in general.

6. What’s your biggest strength as a writer?

i’m flattered! i’d say character voice & dialogue? maybe description. (which used to be my big weakness but i worked rly hard at it!)

7. What’s your biggest weakness as a writer?

pacing; fight/action scenes; & high emotional scenes.

8. What writing projects are you currently working on?

that is correct. mainly though i’m working on the revision for the martyr queen & my short story collection.

9. Who’s your favorite author?

i own almost every book by sarah j maas so her, ig? i don’t really have one tho tbh.

10. Who’s your least favorite author?

uh. i don’t rly enjoy anything by stephen king or nicolas sparks?

11. What’s your favorite book?

the only book i own two copies of is the last unicorn by peter s beagle so i’m going to say that one.

12. What’s your least favorite book?

hmmm. there’s a couple actually.

i hated tom sawyer. not bc of the bad grammar as some people assume, but just. i hated it a lot.

i also hated this one book, skinned?? i don’t remember the author but it was about this girl whose parents had her consciousness transferred to a robot body after a car accident, but then they (& her sister) resented her afternoon.

those are the two that immedialy come to mind lmao

[viktcrr-archive]

MAXENCE DANET FAUVEL / NONBINARY. — viktor samuels is really making a name for themselves as a tier 3 shepherd. i think that he/they are studying english + visual arts in their senior year at lockwood, living in peregrinis. originally from rochester, new york, viktor is known to be observant & ingenious, but can also be reticent & dependent. — james / 20 / est / she/they.

3/5 !!! once again ... little edits

TW DEATH, HEAVY GRIEF, OVERDOSE / DRUG ADDICTION, HOSPITALIZATION, HYPERSEXUALITY, RELIGION MENTIONS, MENTAL ILLNESS

a e s t h e t i c s

old tvs and their static, worn tapes, horror movie screams, spilled ink, a sculptor’s hands, clay-stained, chicken scratch handwriting, messy notes, messy hair, scoffs and eye-rolls, bruised knuckles, sore throats, funeral homes and a crying preacher, shattered ceramics, knife fights, high ledges, vertically-striped pants, red lights, the moon shrouded in clouds, cigarette butts.

general info !!

full name: viktor phillip samuels

nickname(s): icky vicky :/

b.o.d. - jan 2nd

label(s): the black hole, the crepehanger, the impious, the opaque, the tempest, etc.

height: 6′0″

hometown: rochester, new york

sexuality: uuuhhh god … probably pan tbh

pinterest

stats

biography !!

okay so … born and raised in rochester, new york to the well known samuels family. preacher father, a mother, a twin sister born 15 minutes before him - aka tatiana samuels, who died back in january.

kinda … grew up as a really awkward, quiet kid? like … just didn’t really interact with other kids super well, preferred being alone and like … digging up bugs in the dirt. only friend was like … his own sister.

grew out of this as they got older, instead sort of … becoming a bit of a dick? to compensate for years of awkwardness? will bite the hand that feeds him. was a full on nuisance by middle school. tatiana was not, at least, noticeably.

has always been a fan of darker materials, y’know - grim and creepy, morbid shit. big fan of tim burton ever since he was a kid, which isn’t … a good look for a preacher’s son, but he’s never really felt ~in~ with the rest of his family, anyway.

drew disturbing pictures as a kid probably tbh that prompted one or two or five phone calls home 2 assure everything was fine.

has always been really … good at art, in general - from drawing to painting to playing with clay, that’s always been viktor’s Thing.

aNyWaYs. being tatiana’s twin brother was kinda hard sometimes. tatiana and him were near opposites besides their same mean-spirited trait. she was better in the public than he was, but viktor was arguably more talented than tatiana. they both loved each other deeply and found each other as competition for their parents’ attention - a rivalry, of sorts.

high school is when viktor really started to act out - started extreme, like losing his virginity in their church and vandalism around the neighborhoods. faked being possessed in the middle of sunday service. almost had an exorcism performed on him, probably.

the only redeemable trait was like … his sheer talent with art. was in a 3d art AP course, specialized in sculpting - could pretty much create anything he wanted with enough dedication.

because his parents would be focused on disciplining him for his antics, tatiana could sneak away and get away with stuff easier. so like, y’know, that’s on the bright-side of things.

never been particularly motivated to do much - wasn’t planning on attending lockwood but his parents kinda … did and sent in his application for him b/c they were Not on board with him Wasting Away (wanted him out of the house asap)

actually pretty smart !! just doesn’t like … want to apply himself ever. double majoring in english and visual arts because they’re like … two of his only interests :/ plus he wants to write and illustrate his own series of children books with a style similar to tim burton’s

he’d been experimenting since high school but college is where he really started to like … crack down on himself and figure himself out. was out as pan & nonbinary by his sophomore year of college, just … not to his family, necessarily. thinks tatiana always knew, but didn’t … really use it against him, blessedly enough

always felt like the whole twin - connection thing was … both wack and also not-wack? sometimes it felt believable but sometimes he had no idea what was going on in tatiana’s head. but he felt oddly transparent to her, always - like he was predictable to no one but her.

( TW DEATH, GRIEF, OVERDOSE / HOSPITALIZATION BEYOND THIS POINT )

but when tatiana disappeared - it was like, like viktor knew. the moment she had been kidnapped - felt something deeply wrong in his gut. and when tatiana died - viktor felt something cut so severely in him. he knew, he always knew exactly when. he couldn’t put his finger on how - but he knew. even when everybody else held out hope for her to be found - he knew.

went on a bender around the same time, had always struggled w/ drug addiction but it got worse the longer tatiana went without being found.

( also struggled heavily with his mental health, too ?? has manic and depressive episodes. will fixate on a sculpting project for six months and then purposely knock it off the table and destroy it in the matter of seconds once it’s finished for. no fucking reason. impulse spends A Lot. )

when her body was found, viktor went off the rails. ended up overdosing and being hospitalized where he spent the next like … however long months … until they deemed him better.

stayed out of school until very recently b/c he just … didn’t want to go back. didn’t want to deal with it. didn’t want to be known as the dead girl’s twin. but then his mom kinda just was like ‘u go back 2 school or god so help me’ n he was like FINE.

so ya !! viktor’s back after being gone since tatiana’s body was found. that’s it, that’s him, a lil glimpse of his life.

trying to finish his senior year b/c he … obviously left before he could.

finding out that it was george who killed tatiana has ultimately ... caused viktor to spiral. his lows are some of his lowest, his highs are ... very high, but very bad. unstable & unpredictable in his actions it’s ... a whole thing :/

personality !!

the human embodiment of a gremlin, fed after midnight. a goblin, if u will. one of those cats with a narrow head and big ass ears. that’s him.

b i g horror & halloween enthusiast. loves the old campy horror movies. probably has an abundance of masks from different movies. dresses like a grimy millennial beetlejuice more than he should. love those vertically striped pants!

fashion alternates between e-boy (would b tik tok famous if he were like … 17), millennial beetlejuice, and like … goth in a crop top and sweatpants. big fan of crop tops. big fan of sweatpants.

he can be fucking mean. petty, aggressive, instigator. will literally spit in ur face or no reason. kind of person who’ll stick his gum into other ppl’s hair. other than that he’s like … pretty okay. he’s not always mean, he’s just a dick like … 70% of the time lmao

i mean yeah okay he’ll call someone a stinky bitch for no reason except He Feels Like It And Believes It. it’s fine he’s fine, we’re fine.

despite the fact tht he’s probably getting into fights whenever - considers himself 2 be a lover n not a fighter but that’s just because he Fucks a lot. kind of uses it like a coping mechanism, like he’s this big fancy carnival show that’s like ‘come one, come all! fuck the dead girl’s twin brother!’ may have a problem w/ hypersexuality but it’s nothing he’s fully. aware of.

the preacher’s whore son, basically

like i said he’s pan & nb, switches between he and they pronouns but like … he has such a fragile grip on his identity that u could call him ‘dog-faced bitch’ and he’d turn like hey wassup :)

vastly impulsive, like i’ve mentioned … destroys his own creations 4 the fun of it, spends all his money on useless shit, will cheat on someone bc he feels like it. screams into the night sky frequently, like a cat in heat.

i mean he also creates useless shit for no reason too. spent six months sculpting a hollowed out tree the size of him and then took a sledgehammer to it.

dramatic fuck. used to play the organ at the church like … when no one was looking after him and service was about to start. just these creepy as melodies. would do the same thing at home on his keyboard w/ the organ setting whenever he got grounded until his parents took away his keyboard sadjfkg

won’t talk about his time away b/c it’s not rly anybody’s business but ofc nothing is sacred to the watershed app, y’know, nothing’s private.

still like - he absolutely refuses to talk about tatiana’s death and like, his mental health or his addiction (he’s fallen back into it tbh but it hasn’t gotten bad again … yet) or like … anything involving his own emotions

will literally just change the topic! abruptly, no warning, asks about the jonas brothers instead.

that being said he’s obsessed with tatiana’s death. tatiana was very much a rock for him, kinda dependent on her in a way? just … being there, y’know, kept him grounded.

so he obv became a shepherd bc he wants to know Everything there is abt the app, wants to be deep inside it, wanted to know Who Exactly Killed Tatiana and like … not saying he wants 2 commit murder but :/ yknow. he’s very upset.

emotionally unavailable while also like crying twice a day.

will tell you straight up what he wants from you, no bullshit, no beating around the bush - just blunt. if he wants to just fuck, nothing else, then that’s that. if he feels deviation he’ll ghost in like. less than a second. kinda awful like that! feels no shame.

but like … also is emotional ?? as shit ?? it’s confusing. he’ll cry on a whim and then flip u off if u try to console him or like. ask him anything. will bite you.

he goes to therapy but he generally fucks around and wastes most of the time until the therapist threatens to like … idk what therapists r allowed to threaten. to send him off to another therapist? idk.

likes being intimidating but like … not with his body or nothing ‘cos he’s a TWIG, but like … uses his love for horror n creepy shit to his advantage. has an abundance of fake blood. has channeled the energy of jack nicholson and used it on tatiana’s boyfriends before.

( also a big fan of sfx makeup, has dabbled in it)

probably chases kids with a chainsaw (w/o the like … chain … or w/e … so it’s not actually Dangerous) around halloween

he’s generally never doing good, both mental health wise and morally.

would probably steal candy from a baby for the fun of it.

i don’t know if there’s a good to him, deep down, and i don’t know if he sees any issues with himself either !! nothing really breaks through to him anymore, the only person who ever really made him stop and Think about his actions was tatiana.

kinda introverted, recluse type who doesn’t rly like most people or going out, but he’ll go to parties if it means he’ll be high as shit.

pretty observant. likes to analyze people even though he’s probably not … fully right.

connections to the victims !!

tatiana samuels / his twin sister, other half - the only one able to control viktor.

george craig iii / close family friends ... they could appreciate each other, when viktor wasn’t being an outright asshole.

hana williams / ‘friends’ with benefits, their relationship was rocky at best but she was a good lay. have often fought due to their clash in personalities and viktor’s history with christoph.

christoph wainwright / an ex-hook up, an infrequent occasion whenever christoph wanted to tick off hana. viktor was often on board, never the one to consider others’ feelings.

wanted connections !!

he lives alone currently but like … ex - roommates where viktor was just. a nightmare to live with.

feel like a lot of enemies is also a possibility !! viktor’s messy.

people that like … knew tatiana. dated tatiana, even, and viktor would pretty much try to intimidate / scare them at any given chance :/

close friends of tatiana too

people who hated tatiana but liked viktor. people who hated viktor but liked tatiana

people who take pity on him and he Hates it viciously and vocally.

a band of hooligan gremlin kids who do drugs and fuck shit up around town like they’re edgy teenagers even though they’re all early to mid 20s.

the girl he lost his virginity 2 in high school lmao … a distant memory

fellow rochester locals, from church or school or whatever

exes from the past !! good terms and bad terms, but i love bad terms a whole lot mainly b/c viktor’s a jackass.

don’t know if he’s soft towards anybody but we can try. we can Try.

friends, old friends, new friends, bad friends, good friends, close friends, frenemies, etc. etc. all of it

hookups !! so many hookups. fwbs, one night stands, whatever.

uuhhhh god. i don’t know. im so sleepy rn. people in the same major or similar majors.

maybe a ride or die.

people he’s a bad influence on / an enabler towards / all around toxic for them / each other.

people he’s fought !! people who’ve seen him get into random fights and were like ‘uh wtf’

fellow shepherds !!

literally anything im not picky.

[pepprs]

[DONT RB] ok so there’s no way for me to talk abt this that isn’t gonna make me look like an absolute dumbass but im in the middle of a creative existential crisis and i rly need help figuring it out :•( this is gonna get SUPER LONG so im putting it under a readmore. thank u to anyone who reads this!!! and double thank u to anyone who can give some input / advice, i rly rly appreciate it. im sorry abt the length!

aight so for some background.... ive been drawing n writing poetry for abt 5 yrs now and both of those things r rly important to me. in school im an english major w a creative writing minor (for the poetry) and i work as a graphic designer (for the art) so ive been growing a lot as an artist and writer esp in the past 2 yrs and im kinda workin towards one or the other (or ideally both somehow!) as a career. one of the biggest dreams ive had since i started seriously pursuing both of these hobbies 5 yrs ago is to publish a book of poetry that i design / illustrate myself, and also to have a portfolio online where ppl can read all of my poetry and see all of my artwork (both professional / work stuff but also archives of all of my sketchbooks since those r rly important to me!!!) and maybe even make some sort of online shop where ppl can buy my art (stickers, keychains, etc!) and my poetry books!

that sounds pretty simple right? WRONG!!!!!! why? bc im a fucking idiot! and there are several dumb things i do that make this dream completely impossible for me to achieve! love that for me!

so for starters... ive been posting (almost) all of my art and ALL of my poetry online for all 5 yrs ive been creating it. that’s bad because:

ive hardly ever used my real name (which i would want to use for the book / shop / portfolio), it’s been under my usernames / aliases that go along w them (p*pe, pep, pea, etc and related usernames that shall not be mentioned) and i started going by my real first name only abt a yr ago, but still maintain those usernames for the most part in conjunction w my real name

my work has been primarily been posted to d*viantart and tumblr which aren’t exactly the most uh... professional places to do that. not that there rly are many i guess lmao but still

my online persona on these platforms is rly like. lax and loose which is Cool And Quirky when brought into a professional setting if it’s done right i guess.... but im just immature and unprofessional. i swear all the time, i shitpost constantly, im incessantly tmi? and that’s not even it like it’s just a whole mess!

SO there’s that whole set of problems and like im just concerned because... i stopped posting art online last yr for the most part and a lot of the old stuff that’s on dA (since that was rly where i did it most) is bad and not worth sharing like that anyways, so im not as worried abt that. but my poetry.... i still actively post that online in all my messiness and candidness here and like. it’s rly not that hard to find me? like if u copy a poem of mine and put it in google it’ll pull up my dA right away! and that’s like.... GOD i just am embarrassed for anyone irl to see that or for that to be connected with my irl / professional self in the future, but i don’t want to stop posting my work there (or here!!!!!) bc the community is so supportive and ive made some rly good connections / built a lot of traction over the 5 yrs ive been doing it. (PLUS for the online portfolio i wanna do specifically... i kinda want to post all of my art and poetry there, like everything ive ever done (specifically poetry, ive written almost 500 poems over the 5 yrs ive been doing it!), but i feel like that’s not rly the most professional thing to do and idk how to even gauge whether it is or not :-/)

but that’s not all!!!! because there’s another part to this and that is: the very nature of the content i produce is Not Good! for my art it’s not as much of a problem bc since I work as an artist rn a lot of what i make is professional, but for my personal art... a lot of that is either self portraits or my characters and a lot of my characters are like. animals. like specifically pepe (who is basically Me As A Cat).... i draw her constantly and so much of my best work is of her but it’s just like? embarrassing i guess for my ocs to take up so much of my portfolio and sketchbooks and stuff and share that. like i know everyone has characters and it’s not bad to do that and share that but i feel like ppl will judge me :-( so it’s made me rly hesitant to post stuff to my art ig for example bc i just don’t fucking know how to act, like it’s bad enough that i can’t type the way i want to and i have to type in proper caps n whatever instead bc irls i don’t know / trust as well follow me (including some ppl from work? Yikes?)....... but i feel like i can’t share my sketchbook stuff for example bc it’s all cats and my characters and visual shitposts and im uncomfy to share that bc like... im almost 20 and i don’t want ppl to think im immature or whatever? i kno i should feel like it’s my account and i can post wot i want but like. i fucking can’t bro i just can’t!!

and THEN.... my poetry. that’s the biggie bc like for my art? even tho im uncomfortable i don’t mind sharing that w ppl i know irl but for my POETRY.... it’s very easy to find like where i share that i guess? (the google thing i mentioned earlier but also its linked to my art on here and dA too... f) but i literally never actively share my writing w irl ppl unless im performing @ an open mic or workshopping in class bc im fucking terrified of the possibility of irl ppl finding my poetry. it’s almost ironic how public ive been w it online but how private i am abt it irl... it’s like im living a double life and it’s fucking terrible but it’s the only way i feel safe. bc like art is what i do for other ppl and also to destress and vent when i need a quick fix on my own time. but poetry.... that’s personal, it’s where i feel most like myself, it’s how i talk abt my life and ppl in it and make meaning of things and talk abt things authentically and Get Deep. and my literal worst nightmare is for ppl (who have the explicit ability to by virtue of Knowing Me) to read into it and Understand what im talking abt and have that power over me and see me differently for feeling the way i do or doing what i do. ive actually already been burned by this before after my mom read some work of mine that had been published irl (i don’t want to get too into it but basically i retroactively outed myself thru her reading that poem for what it was and it was Very Very Bad) and as paranoid abt it as i was before, it’s even worse now that it’s actually happened to me and could happen again at any time, esp if i decide to take my work further.

that manifests in a few ways too, like my writing is so cryptic and vague and very heavy on metaphors / symbolism and shit partially out of that deep fear and need to shield myself and my work. sometimes in spaces where i do feel comfy sharing, ppl have a hard time understanding my poetry unless i give context. online and on stage and in workshop ppl don’t rly know me outside of a context where the only thing we have in common is self expression thru poetry, so i don’t rly mind sharing more when it’s appropriate. but if i were to share my work as a book or w/e, ppl im close to (who maybe don’t always think like a poet / artist does bc they aren’t that) would want to buy it and read it and might ask abt what it means and i don’t even know what i would do in that situation. and if ppl were to read my work and see themselves / others in it, whether it is abt them or not, im scared it could genuinely damage relationships like it did with my mom.

SO UH.... idk where im going w this rly, i kno it’s long and rambly and melodramatic and im probably overthinking it and making a mountain out of a molehill and nobody even knows / cares abt me AND my work @ the same time enough to read That Deep into it. but it just fucking sucks that im so uncomfortable and insecure that i can’t comfortably fulfill literally the one single long term goal / life dream that i have. andthe thing that sucks is i can’t talk to Anybody abt this except like... my sister and brother bc they’re the only ppl i genuinely tell everything to, but they don’t have the knowledge and expertise abt art / poetry that like... my poetry prof does, for example. and my poetry prof is one of the best ppl ive ever met and the Only person ive ever met irl who respects and understands my poetry in the exact way i need someone to. she and i have been talking and she rly wants to help me publish my poetry bc she sees merit in my work and knows how bad i want to / how successful it’s been already, but i don’t know how to talk abt this to her bc im embarrassed to tell her abt posting online and being ashamed abt my muses and all that and it just!!! sucks so much bc i kinda want to publish my work @ least once before i graduate and do it semi regularly for the rest of my life? but there’s so much in my way and it’s just! FGGFHDGJGGGG

[unproduciblesmackdown]

and see now i didnt know masterpiece was gonna do an adaptation of little women.....i dont know if ive ever watched one all the way through

its a fun book if only because of how goddamn long it is, you get to be all following along and stuff......and like individual chapters can be fairly charming b/c its just like...cozy and all. and some scenes are just particularly fun....the Lively Second Oldest self-insert in jo is great too. cutting off all her hair scandalously, always an icon for that. its been ages since i last read through it so i’m like....feeling like theres some classic jo antic im missing here. its really too bad that she had to end up paired off with some older good christian father figure type guy out of nowhere, maybe b/c honestly it wouldve been too good if she got to date the other wild child of the night who was her bff and all....like, everything that happens is bound by Morals and virtuous christian lessons, rather than the characters or even the plot, which is overall just kind of like “several years pass”

coz as snuggly a read as it is and as fun as certain scenes are and following along with the characters are, its so constrained by the Moral Lessons for Virtuous Young Girls that every single arc has to land on. and i mean the author louisa may alcott was completely annoyed for that same reason too, she was actually having to make the book ultimately be a sort of christian guide for christian readers and it mustve been exasperating, especially for like, writing a book actually about girls and what they are like as people in their own women-only home, vs how you have to tell them how to be

off the top of my head, some particularly annoying points that were all “X character has to learn Y godly christian life path lesson”:

meg getting her hair burnt for all her vanity of trying to curl it like a god damn temptress instead of relying on ye olde humble godgiven natural looks

the entirety of what happens to meg after being married, aka in perpetual domestic servitude that required nonstop docility and charming housewifely attitude and being patronized by her Always Right husband and his manly wisdom and sensibility. i dont think louisa may alcott was fond of the concept of a married womans life, especially as per whatever christian morality had to say about it for 19th cent women

jo being lectured by her father figure i-guess-eventual-husband over the fact she made money as a writer via pulp stories, instead of like, following her heart as like a novelist or whatever. like she’s sinful for writing sensational lowly drivel and trying to get some god damn cash. i think she still has the chronically ill sister at that point. like lay off, you ass.

that same guy having to ward off the Evil Corrupting Modern Atheists. ok i get it. jesus and all

ok now im remembering married meg getting all In Trouble with her husband for buying herself expensive fabric for a dress. and feeling all ashamed like, her character is basically treated like a child in contrast with the unerring Good Sense of her husband and all his quiet mature disappointment in things she does and its like, good god. you were more respected during courtship. and ok i get it meg is so vain for caring about looks and clothes and hair and ughhhhhhH

and its funny with amy and her limes as the “following a schoolchums Trend and caring about social standing rather than being steadfast and detached from such frivolous matters” lesson but like also, let her have the 1860s equivalent of a beyblade or whatever and worry abt the immature stuff that matters to a like 10 yr old or whatever. jeez. christianity...

jo of course has to be punished for having a temper and has to settle down from her freespirited, unladylike ways in her maturity like.....yah ok

there’s like 827 chapters so of course a lot of them are just....especially heavy handed Lessons Of The Moment and dont even hardly have a plot

a lot of the Relationships in the end have to do with one character deciding to morally chastise another

im sure i’ll think of more Things That Chafed Most later. its like. Sigh

theres the time beth is the only one not affected by Sloth to go care for some sickly orphans and then she gets sick and nearly dies and doesnt but then does, so maybe thats a lesson in “dont overdo it.” syke she was pretty much A Timid Churchmouse Saint type so like...clearly her archetype was “actually too good for this world” and she had to die or else be cloistered forever. nowhere to go for that character type sorry. except heaven

also there is just a total lack of sexuality to anyone or anything at any time. everyones affections are very courtly and there is like, no concept of...idk, kissing even. jo is all “ugh why would you want to marry anyone, gross,” and its like, right on, and then she’s like “but anyways i myself will now marry this old scholarly dude who keeps acting like a dad at me” and its like. sigh. ppl have kids though too? it just........occurs...

but its got the fun parts anyways......i still remember a couple wild misconceptions i had the first time i read the book, the largest of which was that i completely missed the fact that beth dies like two thirds of the way through the book. i finished the book without noticing. i went about my life without noticing. i may have actually only noticed upon rereading it all later. she dies very euphemistically.

i also on my first reading didnt quite get the precise historical/cultural context in the very beginning b/c i didnt realize that like, describing laurie as brown and firmly establishing that he has dark eyes/skin/hair actually herein meant, like, “italian” rather than that he was black. it wasnt until i got a fair number of chapters past his introduction that i came across an illustration and was like ???????? whom?

well anyhow. i meant to be drawing rn instead of saying all this so i’ll just dump this out

[goldfizzle]

Ok imma rant abt something

So back in primary school I was on and off friends with this one girl, let’s call her Leah. Anyways, Leah was a bitch. Like she was the very definition of toxic. If someone hit her, accidental or not she would yell “ow” and sort of look at the teacher with an upset look on her face. I once told my friend that she thought this one guy in our class was cool, but my mate took it the wrong way and straight up fucking told Leah I said she fancied that guy, which was true but I didn’t say it, and then she wouldn’t talk to me for a fucking year. She said I ruined her life. So yeah, bit of a bitch.

In y4/5 she created this group called the manfans. Idk either, it’s pretty fucking weird. There were only ever 3 ppl in it maximum and we all had “names”. Leah named herself “man”, this other girl was called “guy” and I was called “dude”. Actually I was called “dude 2” bc I got kicked out the first time for saying my name wasn’t actually dude. I never really enjoyed being in it, but Leah would manipulate ppl into joining. She would manipulate u into being a bitch like her and then when ur real friends got mad u would have no choice but to hang out with her instead. And there were these 2 kids, who were only mildly annoying and one of them I actually quite liked, who Leah would constantly shit on. We would have entire days assigned to chatting shit about them and it got so bad we actually had some weird fucking meeting with the teachers about beaches or smthn (I kinda tuned out ngl). I felt rly bad abt it but Leah was just so manipulative.

I had this other friend, who we’ll call Chris. Me and him had been friends since reception, and although it was a little on and off, we never rly fell out. But he liked playing w me at break/lunch and was upset that I was spending so much time w Leah and the other girl. To cut a long story short, him and Leah got into some serious beef, a teacher got involved and I was given a fucking schedule of who to hang out with and when. It’s worth pointing out I had no say in this at all. Anyway, it was Chris’s turn to hand out w me, so I played with him and it was pretty fun. But then Leah and the other girl came up to me and started getting rly mad at me for not playing w them instead. I told them that it was Chris’s turn, and reminded them that I actually said it was his turn the day before, but they said they didn’t remember and that I should have told them that day. So yeah that was shit.

Another time, it was a “manfans” meeting and I think we had to bring something in, but I forgot. They got rly mad at me and kept on saying that u only forget important things, so I must not think that this is important. They yelled at me for most of break just bc I forgot something. Which btw is probably bc I have adhd, I just hadn’t been diagnosed at that time.

Yet another time, we were in like y2 and she was at my house. We were playing this game where we were an author and an illustrator for separate books. I was the illustrator but I changed my mind and told her I wanted to be an author. She got rly mad and said I couldn’t bc she was an author. I pointed out that it didn’t even matter bc we were working on different books and it was only a game, but nooo I wasn’t allowed. So she ended up making 6 yr old me cry and she went to tell my dad on me, which seemed very unreasonable to me. Luckily though, my dad took my side. I can’t remember much of what happened next but we ended up watching 60s Batman in sleeping bags bc it was cold. I had the worse quality sleeping bag and asked my dad if I could have the nicer one just bc I was freezing. He asked Leah and that bitch full on denied.

Also when I was 5 she blew out my birthday candles

[stjames]

All the cafe asks

Thank you!! I like doing these a lot lmao 

Vanilla Chai Latte : Are you in love? uhFlat White : Coffee or Tea? tea!Cappuccino : What’s your middle name? it’s danger, babyMocha : Dream Job? starfleet captain! screenwriter! Pumpkin Spice : Dream car? ah I don't really think abt cars a lot but there was a point where I wanted like a little cafe racer and I went through like a zcar phase..lmaoJasmine Tea : If you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be and why? the other day I was talking about Italy with @colcheta and it seems very good, but honestly there are so many places..I want travel so bad I can’t pick oneOld English : You’re stranded on an island, who do you bring with you? idk not a friend I’m not going to strand them on an island also maybe someone either skilled in survival or a bad person and leave them there lmaoIced Chocolate : Do you have a crush on someone? byeCaramel Frappe : Favorite video game? it’s so problematic but,,,borderlands tbhIced Lemon Tea : Favorite song/band? it changes so much I don’t have one honestly. but nina simone possibly? I listen to her consistently  Iced Cafe Mocha : Favorite thing to do on rainy days? draw, or watch movies. rainy days are goodHot Chocolate : Are you an affectionate person? I want to be are you kidding! with my friends, extremely so. if they’ll let me touch them, hang off of them, hold their hand I WANT TO but I’m wary of initiating and also if you aren’t a close friend of mine…get the fuck off meCaramel Macchiato : You’re travelling the entire world but you can only take one person with you. Who do you take? probably a friend..mayb my grandma..I’d enjoy doing that with any of my friendsGreen Tea : How tall are you? I had myself measured for this! 5′10.5″ not tall enough kill me my dad gets to be 6′5″Early Grey Tea : The inevitable Zombie Apocalypse is upon us! What’s your plan of action? my bug out bag is already packed!! I go, grab the people I need, together we decide the best course of action (where to go first, establishing our plan, etc) and then get tf out of atlanta have you seen the walking dead?????Mint Tea : How do you relax? I do no such thingVanilla Latte : Board games or drinking games? none of my friends drink so board games w my cousins esp Iced Coffee : Do you like reading? If so, what’s your favorite book? I love it! I don’t focus incredibly well, but when I hyperfocus I love to. favorite, maybe the illustrated man, or the martian chronicles…..maybeItalian Soda : Describe your dream date hm. idk I like adventure I like going places, so maybe somewhere where we can see the stars or IDEALLY we drive really fast and then see the starsSparkling Water : Describe what qualities you look for in a person honesty, morality, HUMOR. just..be a nice person..and be nice to be around I don’t need a whole lotOrange Juice : Have you ever had a valentine? wtf is thatRose Hip Tea : Describe your first kiss I kissed a boy behind a grill in my backyard in kindergarten, but first real one was in my bed with my friend and it was good but I was nervous and probably went to fast LMAOHerbal Tea : You’re at a candle shop, what scented candle do you buy? pine forest!! but not the totally overwhelming kind that’re like..toxic and give you a headache but in general pine is my favorite scent..I love you Oregon,,

Thank you I enjoyed all of these!!