#idk might develop this into a fic because i am having feelings about this

[celestial-alignment]

I need to sleep but I'm thinking about how in the original Bardock movie, when little Vegeta found out his world was destroyed, they believed he was the only survivor at the time. Who knows how long it was before he was reunited with Nappa and Raditz, but for what probably felt like a lifetime, that little guy believed he was completely alone.

Fast forward to when he meets his son from a future where HE is the only survivor (aside from his mom), because the world was decimated by the androids.

Just wondering if those two dots ever connected for Vegeta or if that was a big part of why he was so god damned mean to Trunks. It's a lot of trauma and toxic indoctrination to work through.

[farshootergotme]

Now that I have the confidence to send you asks, fully expect me to bug you periodically from here on out

Anyways- do you think Dick qualifies as a scapegoat? Cause I 100% think he's a scapegoat. People always try to shove the 'golden child' role onto Dick, and it always confused me cause like. He doesn't fit it at all if you actually look into what a golden child is.

Dick is definitely one of the scapegoats of the batfamily (Jason being the other) and it makes me sad that people always label him a golden child when he's the exact opposite. Seriously- he's hit, beaten, unfairly blamed, lashed out at, not told about important things (Jason or being replaced, Jason dying, Jason's funeral, probably other things, i wouldn't be surprised), etc. Definition of a scapegoat to me.

It's also why I hesitate to label him the 'favorite' even when the comics try to say otherwise. Mostly because... favorite children aren't really treated this way. Favorite weapon, maybe, as I've said in a post I've made before, but that's it. Bruce wouldn't kill for him or any of his kids. He's come close, yeah, but he's also come close to killing the Joker too after Jason's death and had to be threatened into not doing it. Every time, it's in a strong surge of emotion, and the second Bruce thinks rationally- well, he doesn't do it. Dick isn't at all unique, Bruce wouldn't kill for him either.

I think Bruce is the most proud of Dick, and has a unique relationship with him due to knowing him the longest and the parentification, but I don't think that makes him the favorite. Maybe to the other batkids, but probably not in reality.

I don't think Bruce really HAS a favorite- Dick is probably the closest to it, but still.

Though, if you wanna play around with angst and fanon ideas, maybe both Dick and Jason are the favorites and that's why Bruce treats them the worst? Dunno, it'd make a fun fic, even if it's not really grounded in canon (though I ignore RHATO and Comic UTRH).

Idk. Just,, gestures. Dick is a scapegoat to me.

Hope my 2 am rambling made sense lol

Okay, I see you, but I'll argue:

Dick Grayson is both the scapegoat and the golden child.

Now, you might not believe this since he doesn't tend to be both at the same time, and it isn't common for these roles to exist within the same individual. But Dick Grayson is praised and favored as much as he's blamed and pushed.

A golden child is the one who carries most of the expectations in the family. The parent expects them to be perfect, make no mistakes, take on roles they're pushed into with no issue (thus parentification can happen), and continue on and on to be good enough and meet the criteria so they don't make the parent disappointed.

The love is conditional hence they develop this unhealthy perfectionism and self-esteem and self-worth issues that will follow them till adulthood even when they're out of that environment and living their own lives.

The reason why a parent might choose a specific child (or children) to be the favored one is because they tend to see this child as an extension of themselves. And consequential to this, they will project their insecurities onto said child and force them to improve—be the best—where they fall short. All of their capabilities are overvalued, making the parent see them as special and much better than the rest, causing the unrealistic expectations a child must hold and fulfill so as not to “fail” their parent(s).

Although this child might seem like the favorite and who could do no wrong on the outside, the love they receive isn't something they can take for granted.

When a golden child underperforms or isn't as good as they're expected, the parent’s demeanor might change. They will feel the disappointment and fear this might cause the treatment they get to change. Sometimes the child might even fear abandonment or rejection from their parent as a result of their failures.

The mix of all this turns into a person who's over-competent, hard-working and someone that tends to take charge of things so they aren't at risk of failing, making them ‘natural’ leaders in any group they might be part of.

Sounding familiar yet?

Now, let's move on to the scapegoat:

A scapegoat child is the one that is blamed by all the things that go wrong in the family. They are constantly criticized and shamed by things they might've not even been part of, but somehow they're now involved and taking all the blame for the others so there are no consequences for anyone but them.

(All the blame also messes with their perception of certain events, making them prone to self-blame for the problems that occur in the family or their behaviors towards them.)

The scapegoating in the family may be due to subconscious projection from the parent when they're dealing with difficult emotions such as shame, guilt, rage, etc. They feel threatened by their own feelings and therefore they will try to escape from them by externalizing those feelings and making them their scapegoat’s problem.

Because of this treatment, the scapegoat might become an outsider in the family, feeling excluded and isolated from the rest. And for this, when push comes to shove and they're going through a rough patch, they will not have any reliable support they can go to inside the family as they'll be ignored or otherwise unfairly treated, having their feelings be invalidated.

Like the golden child, there's some aspects the scapegoat shares with the former:

Being treated differently by the parent/family.

Having unrealistic expectations placed upon them.

Being pushed into roles or responsibilities the child isn't meant to take.

Fear of expressing how they feel.

Self-worth issues and low self-esteem.

Although they're usually roles that are considered opposites, they aren't as incompatible as one might think. A child can alternate between being a scapegoat or the golden child, and this usually happens when the parent is very emotionally unstable, commonly due to a disorder such as narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) or borderline personality disorder (BPD).

(I have so many thoughts about the latter applying to Bruce, but I will refrain from elaborating to not make this longer than it needs to be)

Having all I've said until now in consideration, I'm sure you've noticed how Dick meets both criterias—dare I say the golden child more often than the scapegoat.

Bruce is always speaking about how Dick is “better than him” and “the thing he's ever done right”, but in both of these statements you can see he's taking who Dick is and making it as something that's part of him, comparing Dick's accomplishments to his and putting him in this pedestal, and because of this projection happens and Bruce starts seeing Dick as an extension of himself.

This is why, when he or Dick fail, Dick will suddenly become the scapegoat, contrasting with the former golden child position he was in.

Here you can see the high expectations, praise for his accomplishments, his siblings feeling like Dick is better than them (i.e. treated differently than the rest), and you can also see how when he doesn't meet the expectations, he's met with disappointment (see: Alfred disappointed he's not as bright as he usually is) or judgment (see: Bruce angry at him because he isn't committing to his cause as much as he expects him to).

And these are examples of Bruce being too harsh on Dick and expecting him to do better, blaming him for his brother's death, and in result Dick having a habit of blaming himself and accepting mistreatment, thinking it must be his fault.

More often than not, Dick is put on a pedestal by his family and even his friends sometimes. They praise and love him, but when there's occasions in which he's acting less than perfect, the treatment towards him can change.

Dick Grayson can be the golden child as much as he can be the scapegoat.

[hwonnrinji]

i wanna be yours

lara raj x fem!reader (7th member of katseye)

req: @lararajjj

a/n: first fic omg. i hope it met your expectations <3 and sorry if it seemed rushed, i had a science project due 😕 i'll probably make another version in the future when my writing develops better

{ synopsis } : you like love lara. you know that in every corner of your heart– yet you bang your head on the wall every night, replaying all the flirty comments lara said to you, wishing that it wasn't all jokes.

{ extra } : fluff, romance, slight jealousy, tw: a bit of arguing (sorry if this wasn't what you wanted, it just occured to me to add it in the fic)

wc: idk, it's probably a lot, i'll count later

═══════════════════════════

"aren't you looking mighty fine today?" a familiar voice called out to you, the tone laced with tease. you immediately froze at the comment, too busy calming your racing heart that began to surpass the limits of beats per minute. "gosh, makes me wanna have you all to myself."

"nice joke," you mumbled. you took in deep breaths, quite hyper aware that your face is flushing redder than a tomato. "get back to practice, lara."

"aw, are you blushing, y/n?" her arm wrapped itself around your waist and pulled you closer. as if you weren't already close enough...

"no? what're you on about." you tried to break free from her hold, only to have her pull you back. as the warmth of her chest seeps into your back, your breathing falters and your heart began to stutter.

"lara, let go."

"you're so worked up today. what's wrong, hm?" she whispers, her voice leaving a tingling sensation on your skin. you let out a shuddering breath as you looked down to see her hands clasped on your stomach, the fabric of your sweatshirt wrinkling due to how tight lara was holding you against her.

"you two! stop flirting and get back to practice," sophia shouted, having been fed up with the lack of focus. what a save, you thought to yourself. lara reluctantly let go– but not without a pout, and went back to her position in the back.

"you enjoyed that, didn't you?" megan teased.

"great, another one." you rolled your eyes, your hands on your hips. what's with everyone and teasing nowadays? megan gave you a sympathetic pat on the back, something you don't need at the moment.

"why won't you tell her how you feel?"

"it's not that easy, meg. if she doesn't feel the same, everything will be ruined."

"stop being so negative would you?" despite megan's best efforts to play off the situation, you still can't help but feel your heart burning with want. you want to be able to hold lara's hand just because. you want to finally be able to kiss those lips you've been dreaming of at night.

and more importantly, you want to be able to call her yours. call her yours and say 'i love you' forever.

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

2:38 AM

you lightly cursed under your breath when the keypad beeped too loud as you entered the passcode, hoping it didn't wake an of the girls. you held the handle and turned it, pushing the door inward to enter the house.

taking off your shoes and leaving them at the entrance, you tiptoed through the hall to make your way to your shared room with yoonchae and sophia. the leader might scold you later but all you need to do is to make it back in one piece.

"ahem."

"fuck." you turned around to see lara standing at her doorway, her duck onesie basically asking, urging, you to laugh and wake up the whole house. she raises an eyebrow, seemingly demanding to know where you were to be back this late. "i...was at a friend's house?"

did it seem convincing? no, definitely not with the way you were dressed.

did you try to make it seem convincing? well yes! you always gave your best.

"like hell you were." she looked at you up and down, and you swear, swear on your life, that she was checking you out rather than just looking at you outfit. "where were you? who were you with? you reek of alcohol..." she trails off, every gear in her head turning to know where you could've possibly be at this late into the night.

"ok, look. i was at some get together. it's no big deal, i got a little intoxicated but–"

"i don't care what you were doing. who were you with?" she interrupted you.

"why does that matter?" you furrowed your brows, your patience thinning by the second this conversation went on. "why do care about who i was out with?"

"y/n, just tell me! it's not that hard." her voice raised in volume and you hear sheets shuffling from yoonchae and sophia's room. you secretly crossed your fingers, playing out your cards, hoping that the leader didn't wake up.

"and it's not hard to tell me why you're so nosy about my life!"

"can't i be worried? you're probably hanging out with the wrong people if you're sneaking out!" lara exclaimed. now you're seething. how can she make assumptions like this? especially knowing how you were with people.

"tell me why you're suddenly caring now? out of all the times that you snuck out, i never once mentioned it. i never asked you who you were out with, what you were doing, all that nonsense. that's because i know you!"

lara was taken aback, the way you snapped was foreign almost. your calm, collected demeanor faded right before her eyes and she doesn't know what to do. your chest heaved in anger, your eyes began to get tingly and your vision turned blurry.

"why're you acting all jealous now?" your voice got quieter as tears prickled at the corner of your eyes. great, now the alcohol was getting to you.

"what do you mean?" lara questioned.

"what i mean is," you paused, wiping the tears from your eyes. "why are you only acting jealous now? i tried and tried to get you to be jealous by being close to the girls but nothing ever worked."

"and maybe, i thought you didn't feel the same way, but god fucking damnit, lara! you say one thing and your body language says the other."

"you– you like me?" she pointed a finger at herself and you shake your head. she didn't get the point. maybe she never will.

"fuck liking you, i love you."

lara's face fell and you hope she finally understood the reasons why you look at her like she hung the stars. like she hung your stars. the stars that hang in your sky and spell out her name.

"you're such an idiot." and with that, you turned around and went into your room, leaving lara to stand by herself to process everything you just said. you didn't pay attention to the empty bed on yoonchae's side, or the missing pair of noise canceling headphones on your desk, or sophia's bed having more than one person in it.

you had enough for tonight.

"good night, y/n." despite being muffled by yoonchae's hoodie, sophia's voice still rang through the silent room. it buzzed through your ear like another pop-up ad.

"good night, soph."

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

the next few days were awkward for you, lara, and everybody else. they all heard the conversation you two had, and no one dared to bring it up, not even the mighty leader. wherever lara stayed was where you would leave. you couldn't even bear to stay alone with her for a minute.

"hey, me and the girls are going out." daniela briefly told you as she put on her shoes. you stopped midway bringing the spoon full of cereal to your mouth, looking to the side to see everybody dressed up— but no lara.

oh no.

"im coming with–"

"no. your ass is staying here to work things out with lara." manon pointed an accusing finger at you, only putting it down aftee being told to by sophia. yoonchae only waved to you, quickly leaving because she wanted shotgun, the others racing after her.

"but–"

"you'll do what i say, y/n," sophia said before going out the door, completely leaving you alone with a sleeping lara in her room.

"well shit," you cursed. you hurriedly finished your cereal, placing it in the sink then rushing to your room. if you were in your safe haven, then no one can bother you until everybody gets home. great idea.

. . .

it was, in fact, not a great idea. when lara woke up, you heard her go into the bathroom to get ready for the day despite it already being twelve in the afternoon. you know her morning routine step by step, so after washing up, she'll definitely get breakfast. definitely.

she'll pass by your door, thinking you went with the others. you just need to stay quiet-

"i know you're in your room, y/n."

what. the. fuck.

"sophia told me you're here." of course she did. you slowly got up from your place on the floor, quietly sliding over to the door. "open the door."

your hand reached out but it never quite made contact with the handle. your nerves got to you. what if this go wrong? what if your friendship never goes back to how it was? what if, what if, what if...

"if you don't open this door, i will."

well, you can't have a broken door, can you? you finally held onto the handle, turning it and slightly opening the door, peeking out the crack to see lara.

"what?" you asked.

"let me come in."

"no."

"y/n, im serious."

"...fine." you stepped back and opened the door wider, allowing her to come inside. she sat on the beanbag on the floor, so you sat on the bed furthest away. neither of you wanted to address the elephant in the room, brushing off the actual elephant plushie sitting on yoonchae's bed.

"you're wearing my sweater?" lara started. you blushed and looked down to see that indeed, you were wearing her sweater than you stole from her.

"what about it?"

"nothing."

a beat passed and none of you said anything else. the silence was awkward and it was slowly killing a part of you. the part of you that wants to rush over and jump into her arms. the part of you that wants to tell her all your pent up feelings.

"so, you like me?"

"love, but who cares. wasn't it obvious?" you looked at her, her gaze meeting yours without even meaning to do so. you look away, but she doesn't. she keeps staring like you were the one who created her world.

"then it should've been obvious that i love you too."

"hm?!" you face scrunched up in confusion, looking like an frowning kitty. "you what?"

"i love you too, idiot." lara rolled her eyes, leaning back into the beanbag. "it developed when you stopped sleeping over in my room. i think it was because i missed having you as a pillow."

you couldn't help but chuckle, quickly collecting yourself and returning your face back to neutral. "why didn't you say anything?" the question was a bit hypocritical but you had a good reason for why you chose to stay silent about your feelings.

"better question, why didn't you?"

"i was scared. i mean i had every right to be. look at you, then look at me. a gorgeous girl and adam sandler female version," you confessed. your fingers fidgeted with the hem of her sweater, loose threads everywhere but you love it.

"what if i told you i like the way you look?"

"quit lying for once."

"im not." lara got up and walked over to you, sitting down right next to you on the bed. the mattress dipped from the added weight. "you're really pretty. if anything, i should've been the one who was scared to make a move."

"yet you made every move in a chess guide book."

"stop flaming me, would you?" she laughed, making you laugh along as well. she took in a deep breath, turning her head to look at you. "im sorry for getting a little nosy that night."

"forgiveness pending.."

"and that's fine." her hand found yours in the middle, intertwining your fingers with her's. her hands feel cold. she scoot in a little closer, her hips making contact with yours. "you'll forgive me in the end, right?"

"whatever helps you sleep at night." you joked. she lightly smacked your arm but even so, she still gave a little giggle.

"what does this mean? labels and all."

"we'll figure it out." you turned you head to finally face her, the distance between your faces just inches away. "but what we know for sure right now is..."

"that we can officially kiss and make up?" lara perked up, a little too hopeful. you smile, leaning in.

"yeah, sure. let's go with that." your lips finally connected with hers and goodness, you wished you spoke up a little sooner because kissing her felt just right. it felt like cereal and milk for breakfast, or a fancy steak dinner on an anniversary. or chocolates and flowers on valentine's day. everything perfect can't even sum up to the feeling of this.

and nevertheless, you want the feeling to remain the same forever and ever. in this life or another.

(a/n: #rushed because of a science poster)

[cecilysass]

Hello! You once told me that I could always ask you for fic recs so here I am! I’ve only seen up to S2E17 so idk if you have anything that doesn’t deal too heavily after that. Minor spoilers/references are okay, just nothing major. I’m also not a smut person generally. If you can’t think of anything that fits those criteria, feel free to ignore this! I hope you have a lovely day:)

Okay, I am SO EXCITED about this question, but also nervous, because I don’t want to accidentally include something that will spoil you. I am going to throw a few recs out, and maybe others will think of more?

Universal Invariants by syntax6 This is so, so good. It’s a classic. A novel-length casefile, plus an AU riff on season 1 and 2 through the abduction arc, so I think you are entirely good with spoilers. The big change from canon is that Scully is still with her boyfriend, Ethan. (If you don't know Ethan, he is a character that was originally in the Pilot but cut from the actual show.) There are... other changes from canon, but you’ll see. There's some smut, but it’s not the focus. And there's a sequel to this, too, which you will definitely eventually want to read, but you're going to have to finish season 5 first.

the progression (and regression) of first names by skuls Scully works through some early identity issues in relation to Mulder. This author (skuls) is always delightful, always recommended.

Center Mass by kateyes224 This fic provides a painful, in character explanation for what might have happened between them after the Pilot that could have resulted in so much subsequent slow burn. Hot and angsty, but not really smutty.

Early On by sunflowerseedsandscience This is also an AU season 1 with Ethan, but this one is more focused on Scully slowly feeling her attention stray from Ethan as her relationship with Mulder develops. It's a series with ten (short) parts. It's very engaging. There are some smutty parts.

Eight Things That Could Have Happened In Oregon by Stephen Greenwood No spoilers here, only things that didn't happen but might sound like spoilers. This is wistful, a little sad, beautiful, odd. The First Year by mldrgrl Their first New Year's Eve, not long after the Pilot. I love the hesitant vibe here.

Still Feeling My Father Ascend - cecily_sass This is my own fic, so I am being kind of a self promoter recommending it to you. But it’s a Beyond the Sea post ep, and I know my own work pretty well lol, so I know there’s no later spoilers, or only really minor things that won’t be meaningful until later. It was written for a prompt for an early season fic exchange.

And I'm not going to recommend it exactly, but I do want to mention that one of the first works of XF fanfic was actually written in 1993 and published online in 1994, so during season one. It's called The Sound of Windchimes by Sarah Stegall. It's got some serious CW (noncon) and some pretty wild content (I've read it), but if you're brave or curious and interested in fan history, you can check it out. Here's the fanlore page, which includes links.

***

Obviously I can come up with SO MANY MORE fics as you get further along. So just let me know. I would say most XF fic is probably written about seasons 5 / 6 / 7 for whatever reason, so once you're in that range, everyone can give you tons. Anyone have any other favorite early season fic they can recommend? It's sometimes tricky because sometimes early MSR has later details embedded in it...

[yesimwriting]

hello! I was hoping for a Joel miller imagine where the reader gets hit on in a bar when she’s dating Joel and he sees this and confronts the guy and hits him because he’s aggressive and is all protective over the reader!

I love your writing and this would be amazing thank you xx

A/n first joel request,, slay

update: watched the new episode, bill and frank, still crying 

i feel like this gives post outbreak joel a little more bc of the physical protectiveness,, but i can't remember if there's much/any descriptions of like literal bars in the QZ,, i've only watched the show and i don't remember seeing details,, like ik there's alc/pills available, but actual bars??

idk it's possible i've missed it or forgot bc i have terrible memory

so enjoy my 'makeshift' bar concept as i try my best to deviate from canon as much as possible

not to shamelessly self promo,, but if you like this fic i have another joel fic with what i feel like is a more developed version of this dynamic (bc it’s longer and more internal monologue centered) here and i’m making a part 2 for it so if you like these vibes and want something similar, it’s there, it exists :) 

----

You're staring again, and trying your hardest to convince yourself that you're not. It's more than pointless, it's bordering on ridiculous.

Joel Miller is not some fleeting crush that’d fit somebody in grade school better than it’d fit you. Not anymore. You know what you are. You've had a talk. The kind of talk that you didn't think existed anymore in this world.

It wasn't exactly the rom-com 'what are we', but after a man Joel was dealing with got a little too friendly, it led to an argument. One you didn't fully understand, especially since Tess practically lived by his side.

Don't pretend, you might come off as all innocent, but you're too smart to be that naive. Men like that only have one intention.

And that had rightfully infuriated you, because after weeks of lingering touches that could be justified with a few words but never were and all the goddamn looks, he had no right to lecture you about another man's intentions with you. His intentions don't matter because that has no affect on me and who I am. Why the fuck does it even matter?

Why does it matter? It had been this subtle scoff of a response that made you take a step back. That made your back brush against the wall of his apartment. Because I don't want other men like that lookin' at you, let alone speaking to you.

The world stopped spinning on its axis and all the air preparing to leave your lungs was trapped with no where to go. Too many implications. 'Other men like that', the inclusion of himself in men that had those intentions. Maybe even more importantly, the implication that he’s some sort of exception.

 Even more deafening, your response: Well maybe I wouldn't speak to them if you didn't entertain ev--

The rest of your sentence, whatever it would have been, was lost to his mouth on yours. A snapping of tension that took its time fizzling down to something less consuming. Something that allowed you both to talk enough to make it clear that Joel was yours and you were his.

It wasn't a magical snapping into place like it might have been in a world without the outbreak. In some ways, it added a new layer of hesitance, and in other ways it propelled you forward. There are growing pains with anything new, and the whole relationship thing is definitely new to you. Especially in this world.

If only you could get past staring. Maybe after Joel secures the whiskey-bourbon-hybrid whatever they're passing as alcohol these days from a less than trustworthy trading contact, you'll get buzzed enough to graduate to handholding, or at the very least, you'll be able to do something besides sit there.

You're starting to feel insane. How is making out easier than the small things? Maybe the setting is more at fault here than you. In the outside world, any form of attachment could easily be twisted into weakness. It’s likely best that you keep some distance from Joel here, especially with the way other men keep looking over at the two of you. 

It’s not like you’re never awkward about the little things when confined safely between the walls of Joel’s place, that’s slowly but surely starting to feel like it’s at least partially yours, as well. But the way you get in public is something else entirely. It’s probably for the best. There are already too many eyes on you. 

Like the guy with red hair that glints oddly in the yellow light of the stranger’s building. He’s swaying slightly, a dark looking glass in his hand that he’s yet to release in the entire time you’ve been here. Every time one of his friends leaves him, his gaze returns to yours. 

Your skin crawls each time, but you keep your expression as stoic as possible. Joel’s getting better at trusting you, better at letting you serve as a sort of backup in the way that Tess usually would. You know that if it came down to it, the man that keeps looking at you wouldn’t be an actual issue, and you know Tess wouldn’t let it get to her. 

Ugh. Another thing you want to get yourself to stop doing. Comparison. It’s ugly and so insignificant. Tess didn’t exactly welcome you with open arms when you first showed up, but you get that. And eventually she warmed a little. You think she’d still trade you for a few ration cards, but she doesn’t hate you. She’s, at the very least, no longer skeptical of you. The other day you caught her hiding a smile over a joke you made.

But it’s hard not to compare. They were the closest thing either of them had to a support system for years before you showed up, and you know that they’ve been together casually. Always casual. Joel stressed that part, but that doesn’t mean it’s an easy thing to know, especially now. 

You bury the thoughts the way you often do and turn your attention back to Joel. Back to staring. At least you’re consistent.

A man peaks out of the closet that seems to be the source of all the alcohol. He gestures vaguely in your direction. “That’s us,” Joel says, voice flat, “Wait here, I’ll be back.” 

Nodding as if to dismiss your own thoughts, you beg your mind to not create imaginary problems by reading into him telling you to stay. He’s walking a few feet away to get some boxes, it’s not the rejection insecurity is making it out to be. “I’ll hold down the fort, keep away trouble.” 

Joel blinks, turning his head in your direction briefly. The corner of his mouth turns up slightly, which is more of a reaction than he likes to give when in these kinds of places. He shifts his hand casually, his fingers brushing against yours briefly as he stands. The gesture is small but immediately dislodges the lump in your chest. 

“I’ll believe it when I see it.” It’s little more than a whisper, but there’s something hidden beneath the roughness of his tone. A pinch of lighthearted humor that’s only visible to you. 

It eases you even further. Joel turns away, moving behind the long table serving as a sort of bar counter. You tap your fingers against the surface without much thought, taking a second to absorb the easiness of it all. It’s rare that getting anything require so little. You don’t think anything’s ever come as easy as sitting on an uncomfortable bar stool. 

“So...” You blink, posture straightening as your eyes flit to the source of the sound. “Guard dog finally left you alone, princess?” 

Okay. Ew. Of course it’s the guy that’s been staring you down since you first sat down. You have to fight to not let your nose wrinkle. There’s no good in reacting, in escalating the situation. “Not a guard dog.” 

You hope that it’ll be enough to show that you’re not interested. “Aw, not feelin’ too friendly, baby.” Ew. You’re torn between cussing him out or actually punching him. Neither is an actual option. Places like these are a minefield and you refuse to be the one to set off a series of explosions. “Maybe you’ll cheer up after a drink, could get you one.” 

Turning your head, you take a breath before replying. “I have enough friends.” The stranger is clearly apart of a group. You don’t know if you could call them all friends, you’re not sure there’s enough casual trust in the world left for genuine friend groups. But they’re at least acquaintances, or work associates, or maybe they met here, equally inebriated enough to accept each other. It doesn’t matter, the point is they were chatting up a storm before he decided to wander over here and bother you. “And it looks like you do, too.” 

“Fine,” he relents too quickly, “Let’s not be friends, then.” His hand shoots forward, landing firmly--and disgustingly--on your waist. “Let’s be something else.” 

You’re unsure if you’re more repulsed by his hand on you or how terrible that line was. Your own hand clasps his, pushing and pulling in an attempt to create a space. He’s relentless, even when your nails start clawing at him. “If you want to keep your hand, I suggest getting off of me.” 

He blinks at your threat and then grins, flashing a smile that’s missing teeth. And then he laughs. A cold chuckle that makes its way beneath your skin. “God, I like them feisty.” 

Shoving your fingers under his, you manage to pry him off of you. Your foot moves, heels smashing into his toes as subtly as possible. “And I like them when they know how to fuck off.” 

His smile broadens, a cynical undertone to the look that makes it worse than before. “Oh, darling,” his hand finds your arm, tugging you forward, “You’re gonna pay for that.” 

“Pay for what?” Relief washes through you before you’ve even fully registered the familiar, even timber of Joel’s voice. He’s speaking in a lower tone than usual, an icy rage that you can feel in your bones and it’s not even directed at you. “Touching what’s not yours, ‘cause you’re the only one doing that.” 

There’s probably something you should say. A subtle warning to not go beyond scaring off the man that is clearly incapable of respecting a woman’s autonomy outside of another man’s claim over her. To not take it too far because it’s not worth it. Because you have it under control. Relatively.

Instead, you’re silent as the man releases you. He takes his time assessing Joel. The stranger is physically smaller and Joel does have that edge that only comes from someone that’s lost enough to be dangerous to anyone threatening what’s left. 

The man holds his hands up in defense, his glass sitting precariously between his thumb and pointer finger. “Easy, man.” You don’t even have to look at Joel to know that that was the wrong thing to say. “I didn’t mean any harm, if you set the price right, I’d be--” 

The rest of the proposition is taken care of by Joel’s fist connecting with the man’s jaw. You hear the audible crack before your mind can make the connection between Joel’s quick movement and the man’s silence. 

Holy shit. Joel didn’t just throw a punch, he threw a punch meant to shatter bone. He barely glances at you, and you’re too focused on the fact that Joel’s standing there, completely fine like he didn’t exert enough force to knock over a grown man. You blink as Joel extends the arm he’s been using to hold the small case. 

You’re too shocked to do more than take the box. The implication of why he’d hand you the box while still standing there doesn’t settle until Joel’s throwing another punch. Each hit is more committed than the last, even when the stranger’s knees give in and he collapses. 

Yeah, there’s definitely something you should say. Now. Like right now. You’d never ask him to hit anybody once, let alone do whatever he’s doing now. But words like ‘stop’ and ‘okay, think he gets it’ all jam themselves so far down your throat, you wouldn’t be able to pry them out with a wrench. 

All you can do is watch. It’s the kind of morbid fascination that reminds you of what it felt like to drive a little slower when passing a car wreck. You’re rooted in place by a realization that’s always been there at the back of your mind, an implied awareness. Joel’s more than just prone to violence when he needs to be. He’s angry. 

It should scare you. Terrify you. Your stillness should be some byproduct of that. But it’s not. Joe’s not a danger to you, he’s a danger for you. 

It’s a level of protectiveness you never thought you’d experience. Your chest feels warm. You hope you’re not messed up enough to consider this some grand display of love. However, there’s a vulnerability in the violence you can’t deny. You’re in a public place, the kind of morally questionable people that are far from above exploiting vulnerability. And yet here he is, announcing an undeniable attachment. 

Joel finishes, chest heaving and hands still curled into fists. The low light makes the thin layer of sweat on his skin seem like he’s practically glowing. His knuckles are already evidently split and swirling in distinct shades of blue and red. You’re mesmerized. 

“You can’t do that shit here.” 

That’s it. The only reprimand. In the world of before, he would have gotten the cops called on him. He would have gone to jail. 

Joel looks up, mumbles something under his breath that sounds suspiciously close to fuck off. He then looks at you, gestures with a tilt of his head for you to follow, and walks forward. 

You try not to think of what it must look like when you follow, quickening your steps to get closer to him after you’re out of focus. When you reach the door, Joel pulls it open with one hand and reaches for your fingers with the other. 

----

The way your eyebrows draw together when you’re examining an injury is different than the way they pull together for anything else. It’s too focused to be concerned and too concerned to be focused. 

Joel could stare at that expression for longer than he’d ever admit to. He could concentrate on that little line above your forehead and forget about everything else. “I’m fine,” he mutters, knowing that there’s no real point. You’ll do what you’re going to do when it comes to these kinds of things.

You nod absentmindedly, another small sign that you’re not as here as you normally odd. “It’d be awfully sad if you died of something as small as non-fungal infection.” 

He swallows, minding that look behind your eye. Things are still normal, you’ve yet to show any sign of rejection. He kept your fingers locked practically the entire way here and you let him. Never pulled away. 

It’s not like he needs to apologize. Joel did nothing wrong. He even gave you a minute to handle the situation, but the man was relentless. The kind of asshole that takes advantage of a world with little order to prey on women. Joel would do it again. And again. And again. There are no regrets there.

You’re not naive. You know what you signed up for when you accepted him. He’s never hid that from you. That doesn’t change the fact that you’ve always had a pension for forgiveness, a pinch of empathy the world hasn’t managed to snuff. 

“You’re dramatic, anyone ever tell you that?” 

A touch of a smile pulls on the corner of your mouth. “Hm. Think I’ve heard that once or twice from this one guy. Dark hair, dark eyes, cute, but not really my type.” 

Joel smiles, a partial laugh escaping him. “Really?” 

Turning over his hand with a gentleness he still finds difficult to understand, you press a quick kiss to his palm. You move back into your previous position so quickly it almost feels bashful. “I think you know the answer.” You flip his hand so that his knuckles face you again and go back to cleaning them. “You know, you didn’t have to...I wouldn’t have ever asked you to do that.” 

Joel can’t help his partial smile at that. Like there was ever any doubt. “I know,” he manages, “You’re not that.” 

It takes a second for you to understand what he’s implying. That you’re not like him. Yes, you get mad and you have nothing against putting people in their place, but you don’t like hurting people. Your lips part awkwardly, like you want to say he’s not that either, but you can’t. He just proved it to the both of you. 

“Nothing wrong with being like that,” you say, all too casual, “So don’t say it like it’s this big thing.” There is no end to the level of understanding you offer him. He doesn’t deserve it, he never will. “And you’re not like that in the way you mean. That asshole was, you’re not.” 

Joel lets out a low breath. Of course, even this you’d find a way to reframe. “You’d think so.” 

“I’m right.” It’s a quick reply, and the exact kind of response he expected. “You’re not a shitty person just because you beat up some guy or any of the reasons you’re thinking. New world, new morals. Accept it.” 

Your lips pull together into what’s almost a pout in your determination. Always so sure when it comes to him. “Mhm,” he breathes, watching your surprise at his compliancy. You know something’s coming, but not what. Your awareness does little to help you when Joel twists your hand in his pushes you back against the couch. “And what about you?” 

He hasn’t grabbed your hands yet, but you stay still, eyes trained on him. “I am a lot meaner than you think I am.” 

He tilts his head down to hide his amused expression. Your version of mean is fighting back. “You want to prove it?”

[graciereadshannigram]

re: audhd, heuristics, emotional processing, and critical thinking*

hooo boy, can't wait for all the nuance here to be completely missed but walk with me for a minute? (tl;dr at the bottom)

in psychology, there’s this idea of mental heuristics, right? they’re the shortcuts your brain uses to make decisions or problem solve faster. and thinking about it, for someone with audhd (hi hello that is me), those shortcuts are probably even more important because we’re already using up so much processing power just dealing with daily stuff.

which brings me to emotional processing and critical thinking.

to paraphrase one of my fav tiktokers, jasminesgarden23, "if you're feeling triggered, your critical thinking shuts down." so when strong emotions like fear, shame, or disgust** get triggered, critical thinking stops being a priority! dealing with the Emotion and coming back to baseline becomes the priority.

and the bigger the emotion, the more our brain looks for the quickest way out, and that's when mental heuristics (like black-and-white thinking) really start to take over.

instead of spending a bunch of energy processing every angle of a situation, we can just jump to an either/or conclusion. it’s not great for nuance, but it definitely saves on brainpower. like, you don’t have to get stuck in the messy middle of a problem if you can just label it good or bad, right or wrong, move on.

i mean, we see this all the time with Tumblr Discourse™️, right?

for example, "if you read [insert 'problematic' ship or kink/tag here] fics, you’re automatically a bad person."

boom, a mental heuristic.

because why sit in the discomfort of processing a complex issue when you can just label something good or bad and move on?

it doesn't require deeper critical thinking, it validates your emotional trigger, and allows you to process and move on in a less energy-intensive way.

(i'm guessing disgust is a big driver in this particular example, but so might be this idea of moral justice, this feeling of wanting to be a 'good' person, which is a whole other topic to explore another time)

(this particular heuristic is also completely invalid on multiple levels, don't come at me please).

and i want to emphasize that our brains evolved these mental shortcuts for a reason! they can be useful! they can also be incredibly harmful.

but the thing is, if you develop an over-reliance on these shortcuts, and aren't interrogating why and when you're using them and whether or not they're helpful or harmful, when are you supposed to practice your critical thinking skills? and if you aren't practicing, critical thinking could remain this energy-intensive task.

idk man, would love to respectfully and thoughtfully discuss with others if you're interested in it. (on tumblr??? you ask? yeah maybe not the best platform, but here we are!)

tl;dr: black-and-white thinking is a mental shortcut that conserves energy, especially for audhd brains, but it becomes even more tempting when strong emotions like disgust or fear are involved. while it simplifies complex issues, it could possibly weaken critical thinking over time, making it harder to deal with nuance without getting overwhelmed.

*i am heavily relying on my undergraduate degree in psychology, my master's degree in social & behavioral sciences, and my career in qualitative psych research, but have done exactly zero extra research before word vomiting my thoughts up. so like. take this with a grain of salt.

**these primary emotions are sometimes expressed via anger, a secondary emotion

[honeyhotteoks]

just saw your response about writing a book and dreams and i wanted to ask like-- do you think you'd ever change careers to do that? im in the middle of trying to change careers right now and the market is straight doggy doodoo in the us, but also maybe egg on my face for applying right before the holidays. id like to think to those of us with wants and dreams there is a place. i think you're a bit older than i am, and i guess i want your opinion as someone a little more sage. idk sorry if this is too personal - i have noticed you like to keep your personal and kpoppie fandom life separate, so i wont press :3! happiness to all

such a great question!! so let me answer your question in a few parts bc honestly, the way careers and life work out in your twenties is so goddamn weird lol

so i went to school for literature and intended to go for the professor path, but realized pretty quick id be poor forever. so i bopped around job to job for a while feeling pretty unfulfilled, probably through my mid twenties. then i accidentally fell into a job at a small company where they let me switch over to the software dev team bc i surprisingly liked it / was good at it, and thats what ive been doing since. im 30 now, and to be honest, i make pretty good money doing that plus im able to fully work remotely and kind of have a flexible schedule.

so to answer your question….. no, i don’t think i would be willing to take the risk right now to try switching for writing but that’s largely because i finally like my job and im a little risk adverse as a person when it comes to my own finances.

i think realistically if i ever tried writing professionally it would be something i did in my off time like fic and then if i was able to make money doing that then maybe id switch paths. i have the flexibility for that given what i do, but thats just me.

for you, being a little younger in age and maybe your career though id give you this advice (as someone who changed careers) - you might need to start low on the totem poll to get into the career path you want, especially when switching, but do not let yourself work at lower pay for too long. no matter how great the company is etc., jobs that hire low experience and let you sink or swim are great for experience but they will never, ever pay you what you’re worth no matter how nice your bosses are. so if you get your foot in the door, crush it and get that resume built, and then get out in 1-2 years.

the other thing i’ll say is know your worth now. every job and degree gives you resume builders and skills you don’t even realize are marketable. focus on getting good at interviews so once you land one, you’ll get farther. people hire people they like, i guarantee im not the best developer but i am really personable and honest in an interview and it’s always got me a call back.

i would also say, career changing takes time. don’t be afraid to make money doing something you don’t love while you try for something else. it took me 2 years to transition from a job i didn’t love to doing something i enjoy for good money now, and it’s not my total dream job, but it affords me the time and money to enjoy my passions and that’s a good fit for me.

anyways i don’t know if this was helpful, but please don’t be shy to dm me here or on twt, i’d be happy to talk about my experiences or give you more advice on your situation.

i know it’s tough out there, but you got this! for the majority of my twenties i was really lost and struggling, but i promise if you stay the course and be honest with yourself the path in front of you gets clearer and easier to walk. 💗

[justapalspal]

10 Questions for Fic Writers

thanks for the tag @quoththemaiden !! tagging @ninjam117 & @millenniumringg too because why not <3 + feel free to snag it @ everyone else if you wanna!!

1. How many works do you have on AO3? Six! But one of them is a collection of artwork that I don’t particularly count as an ao3 work in my head anymore lmao. So five written works!!

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 12,979 words <3

3. What fandoms do you write for? ygo dm bay beee (is bakurae enjoyer a sub-fandom? do we count as our own little sub-fandom lmao)

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Yes!! I love a good comment discussion and love getting to give director’s commentary on my fics about things ppl commented about!! I try to get to every comment eventually <3

5. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know of lmfao (aside from ao3 getting mirrored with “pay the app dev” stuff every so often)

6. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Me and my siblings when we were younger co-wrote ridiculous amounts of self-insert fanfiction together. What a lovely time that was

7. What's your all-time favourite ship? tendies owns my heart forever <33 I used to periodically come back to it every few years before coming back to ygo permanently and now it’s like ahhh we’re almost at ten years of consistent bakurae goodness <33

8. What are your writing strengths? I like to think I have strengths in comedy and dialogue because those are pretty fun and easy for me to churn out… but at the same time perhaps like. Minute details could be a strength of mine. I definitely used to think unusual and innovative prose/emotional descriptions were a strength of mine but I’ve kind of let that skill atrophy so I definitely need to work to regain that skill lmao <33

otherwise I do like my plot bunnies (when I’m able to cultivate them) I like to think developing plot bunnies is also a strength of mine!

9. What are your writing weaknesses? Consistency lmaoooo but nah if we’re gonna like talk real weaknesses it might be like… pacing and connecting scenes together! And also not rambling endlessly. Like. Rambling has its place but often I would find in my work I went on just a tad too long in areas and the pacing would suffer minutely for it. With yami b’s got a crush I really strove to be clear and concise, and I think it paid off so far <3

otherwise also like. choosing a point at which to start the action of a story is hard hard hard for me to do haha. that might also count as a weakness!!

10. First fandom you wrote for? oh gosh. It’s gotta be code lyoko because code lyoko was one of the first two if not first fandoms I ever read fanfic for. The other was I am legend (yes the will smith movie) and I never ended up writing for I am legend so. LMAO

first fandom I ever created stories for and didn’t post tho? idk I cannot remember that far back to what me and my sibs first did as kids lmaoo (we did write a lot of self insert for Narnia and Marvel, tho)

[soaps-mohawk]

To hop on previous ask, can only omegas get pregnant? What about female betas like Dr. Keller? If she had a mate- alpha, beta, or omega- who was male, could she feasibly get pregnant? I know there's fics where a/b/o were like a secondary gender so a man who presented as an omega might get pregnant because they have both sets of parts- though i've seen some backlash on that from people calling it transphobic, but that's neither here nor there.... woops, let that train get away from me XD anyway, i would be curious to hear your take and/or how that might work in your version, or even just your version in this particular fic. Are Betas basically seen as the enders of family lines? Oh oh! And how does the passing on of family lines work? Is it strictly patriarchal where the sons' names are always taken by the bride or is it the alphas, male or female, who "continue" the family line? I'm thinking about Mulan 2 where because she was the only child, all of her ancestors would no longer be honored because she'd have to go to her husband's ancestors after the marriage (meaning Mushu would be out of his guardian job- again- which of course leads to highjinks of him trying to break them up before the wedding, and here i am getting distracted again...)

Sorry for the long and rambly ask. Hope you're doing well, or at least taking time to recover if things aren't going as well as they could be. Remember, you are important, and you don't have to "earn" rest, nor do you have to have anything "bad" happen to earn it either. Idk if i said that right, but i'm gonna stop 'cause this ask is too long already XD

<3<3 - crow anon

Alphas, betas, and omegas can get pregnant! It's just omegas that are only fertile during their heat cycle, but they can get impregnated by alpha, beta, or even another omega during that time. Alphas and betas are more like us regular humans, as they can get pregnant at any point and don't rely on a heat/rut cycle for fertility. Though the standard pairing is alpha/omega (and that's what gives the status of purebred for alphas and omegas that have that parentage), as we've seen in the fic there can be alpha/beta pairings (Price's parents), or beta/beta pairings (Gaz's parents), and like in the last ask, in a larger pack you might have beta/omega or even omega/omega pairings.

Things like adoption, fostering, surrogacy, and (for the rich) IU and IVF, still exist in the world of the fic. Let's take Laswell and her wife for example. They're both betas and if they decided they wanted a pup at some point, they could go a lot of routes like adoption or IU or surrogacy. With the IU/surrogacy options, they'd have a choice of an alpha or beta donor (if they cared about the potential presentation of their pup later on, which I don't think they really would.)

And I know someone is going to ask, if the omega has male anatomy, and the alpha has female anatomy, the omega will be the one impregnating the alpha. Male omegas still go through heat cycles, but it's more like a male alpha's rut, and they're still only fertile during the heat cycle and could only impregnate their alpha during that time. The male omega will still feel the intense instincts to care for the pup, even if they themselves didn't birth the pup. Same with adoption at any age (I think I did talk about this at one point), omegas will develop those intense instincts to care for pups that aren't their own. Even from outside a pack.

As far as family line goes, that's a bit trickier. It really depends on the type of pack. The more normal, small pack with just two people would be closer to what we'd expect from a marriage in our world. In traditional alpha/omega packs, the omega would take the name of the alpha, and that's probably the case in most alpha/beta packs too. Beta/beta packs it would probably be whichever has the cooler name lmaoo, or they might just keep their own names. It's kind of just up to personal preference.

In larger packs though, obviously you've got multiple people with multiple names and they're not just all going to take the pack alpha's name (as we see with the pack in the fic, they don't all have Price's name). Some might choose to do so, for many different reasons, but it's less expected of them versus like in a traditional pack. Omegas might, simply to show off status/claiming. There wouldn't really be any benefit to it, like they wouldn't suddenly have rights because they're mated to an alpha or part of a pack. Just like in marriages in our world, it's a simple paper that shows proof of claiming and then if the parties change their names/etc that's entirely up to them.

I hope this makes sense lol I could write a whole novel about this stuff lol.

[silly-goose-kid]

🍄🍬🎨🌻 :)))

🍄 - share a headcanon for one of your favourite ships/pairings

AUGHHH this is weirdly hard to pick a specific headcanon… okay hm. akito weighted blanket when toya needs grounding/comfort, hair ruffles and pats and kisses et cetera we know the drill. toya often little spoons despite being taller, because akito likes the sensation of holding him; he’s at neck level when they do this and will cover the back of toya’s neck in little kisses. toya really likes watching akito sleep, because he’s always so focused and energetic and driven in the day; it’s very very nice to watch him just be peaceful and soft when he’s sleeping.

🍬 - post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character

OHH GOODNESS I don’t have many unpopular opinions I’m a basic bitcg… i feel bad being mean to popular characters lmao

not exactly a popular character buyuuuuut people should do more with harumichi. is he a good dad NO!!!! is he fucking trying Yes. badly? probably but still. there’s sooooo much interesting stuff you can do with him and toya’s Slowly developing relationship and people don’t use that enough (yes i am absolutely guilty of using him for angst but can you blame me my point still stands)

🎨 - link your favourite piece of fanart and explain why you like it

OOOO OKAY. hrm. need to think and get links

cuddles - yes i know who sent this ask no i do not care. any akitoya soft cuddles art gets me… same artist akitoya sleepy doodles auuuugh 😭😭 they’re so comfort

staying warm - everyone knew I would link them who cares. gestures of love through gift giving and knowing someone so well, the colour palette with all the browns… again just comfort and love auuuugh

sneepy - can you tell i like cuddles. this one is girltoya so extra flare but just… morning snuggles… toya rarely waking up before akito so it being a nice thing for her to watch him sleep DUMB SLEEPU AKITO help.

also: anything by @/actual-rowlet, @/xulips, and @/buunyuwu (on Instagram)!! might reblog tomorrow to add more when I have better wifi + not sleepy!!!

🌻 - tag someone you appreciate but don’t talk to on a regular basis

HMMM…. idk if i have anyone like this i talk to most of my moots… most people like this are my ao3 commenters not all of whom have tumblr (that i know of). if any of you are reading this: @v1bri i do know your tumblr, flamboyanceiskey, cinnamaow, akitosbiggesthater, and kamisai, I LOVE YOU!!!! there are def others that im forgetting but i loooove all my frequent/recurring commenters so much, it means sm to me that people appreciate my fics <33 also @chifuyunohnashi as an author!!!! one of my favs ever, got me reading a ship I don’t even like

TY OOMF!! <33

also as a treat, on that point about harumichi: a reeeeeeally old wip I wanna finish under the cut

[knockyasocksoff2022]

ADA -> PM Switch deal fic poll

I already wrote a Tanizaki Port Mafia AU (where he decides to join on his own), so besides him, who should I write about. I'm talking about being selected for the transfer, not voluntarily joining. (Excluding Yosano, ofc as well as Kenji, and Kyouka b/c just nO!)

Might include ships, but might not depending on the person.

Here are some ways I think each member could be good in the PM:

FUKUZAWA

no extra training required

knows Mori

and is at least somewhat familar with Yokohama's underground

Kunikida and/or Ranpo could take over the ADA

he canonically has bloodlust

and only stopped killing because he knew it was BaD

people would be AFRAID

it's be really interetsing b/c if he goes Ranpo might follow

and then where would the ADA be?

Prob tortured Fukumori

slowburn (idk how good I am at writing slow burn but we'l see . . .)

rekindling of old failed toxic love that was killed before it could really get anywhere or see if it could bloom into sometjing pure

now they have to figure it out in their new circumstances

and if it even can work

but first they'll have to admit that there's still even the faintest hint of something there

and even then Mori will have to WORK for Fukuzawa's love (don't worry)

RANPO

while he has no combat training he is hella smart

we don't even need to say that

kind of reminds me of Elise

so i don't think Mori would have that much of a problem dealing with him

though i HIGHLY doubt mori would do that to Fukuzawa

unless he picked him because he actually wanted Fukuzawa and knew he’s volunteer in his place

ranpo could be and (somewhat is for the ADA) a brillaint strategist

he could be an analyst

the PM's enmies would cower in fear and so would any traitors

ranpo could deduce their location and plans in seconds

people would fear him for his mind alone

even if it took a bit for them to realise exactly how scary he actually so

if Mori did pick him Fukuzawa might follow him and transfer as well so . . .

Two for One?

I probably won’t write him b/c he’s already in the mafia in one of my other fics

but maybe I could write where Mori picks him and Fukuzawa volunteers instead

maybe Mori even knew that would happen.

either way, like i said, if he picks one he’ll prob get both

KUNIKIDA

he's organised and efficient so he could easily manage trading operations domestic and overseas

he's smart even if we may not see alot b/c of dazai and Ranpo

he could probably pickup languages easily

i think he'd be great at undercover work since he's actually capable of being subtle

and he used to being around *normal* people more and has better social skills

i feel like he's the type where he can look totally differnet with a diff hair style (or colour) or even if he just take soff his glasses or doesn't wear his little vest or something

and his ideals don't align exactly with the law, only what he thinsk is right

he’s willing to do what is necessary to get the job done

if joining the pm and controlling Yokohama’s underworld means less crime and violence overall then he’ll do it

i still think he wouldn’t kill but

he'd prob be really good at interrogation and combat missions that didn't involve killing (like theft or kidnapping for information/money or something)

I don't think he'd be the perfect fit but if they wrapped or broke him enough he could be absolutley terrifying in the mafia

No ships

Kuni has way higher standards (58 criteria to be percise) and these FREAKS meet none of them

DAZAI

people ahve so many opinions and theories that I'm not even going to get into this

his story, emotions, and lore are so complex I'm not even going to try b/c I feel like i won't do hima nd his character development justice

maybe some other time

NAOMI

I know I said I wouldn't do Junichirou

but if you're getting one, you're getting both

they're a package deal

and what's not to love

besides Jun's crazy killer skills

Noami is smart, savage and a little cruel (how she treats Jun when he's seasick) and unhinged

(thinking of the time she suggested Atsushi do sexual stuff for his entrance exam)

not to mention Dazai tutors her

if you can't have Dazai, why not have his student?

(I swear that's canon, correct me if I'm wrong though

)

she has the potential to be heartless, sadistic, and terrifying

She also likes to see people (Junichirou, at least) squirm and be uncomfortable or suffer to some extent.

idk

maybe that’s just their dYnAmIc though

(thinking again of how she treats him when he says no to her and is clearly uncomfortable. Also when she talks loudly and obviously about sexual stuff in front of others.

im not sure if it’s intentional or if she really is that insensitive or unaware of how it makes others feel

i suspect the former

I prob won't write her either

but maybe if I focus on her story more it won't seem TOO repetitive

Idk

what the people want, the people get

but we just know sooo painfuly little about her (aside from her in relation to Jun since their *thing* is kinda her whole personality *cringe*)

unlike some I still like her

If i did there would be no ships

idk even who to ship her with in the mafia

or maybe i'd be BOLD and go for the ewwie incest

idk

if not then prob very abckground Tachizaki

ATSUSHI

obviously, his ability

it's the full deal: stength, speed, agility, regeneration

the perfect partner for sskk

the thing last Mori needs for his SKK 2.0

his combat skills are a little haphazard (relying on brute force mostly) but Kunikida has been taring him in martial arts a little even though they have hardly has any time with all the CHOAS

you're prob thinking "NO WAY! He litterly says he needs to save people to live! That's liek hsi whole thing!"

you're right

but if Mori or the other executives wrapped him i think

b/c he's so insecure

they could convince him

(kind of like they did Kyouka, only her will is stronger than Atsushi's)

that violence and destruction and killing is his purpose and what he was born for.

But, I doubt Mori would go the route of telling him it's all he's good for and that if he doesn't do it, he's good for nothing again.

He knows it didn't work the first time and it's too easy to reverse esp since Atsushi has already been with the ADA.

I think Mori would set about convincing him that he deserves to let his anger out for all the world has done to him

that the world is his enemy and that he should punsih it

that people deserve his wrath for allowing a society where he could be treated the way he has been exists

Prob slowburn eventual SSKK

on this blog we say Aku is just fine, perfectly okay, and doing well

They're still going to fight like angry cats

Aku will prob realise his feelings when he finds himself misisng Atsushi's old personality

idk

meanwhile Atsushi is just drowning in the brainwash

the "bliss" of anger and he's too unaware even to fight it

still SSKK become partners

and knowing them, it's to the point where only they don't know they are together

them "not-dating" will prob be like their messed up theray and break Atsushi's trace or smth

maybe they hide the fact that he's not mid controlled or whatever form Mori

Atsushi might still decide to stay just to keep any other agency members form geing tansferred

and who knows he may even learn to like it

idk

i haven't thought to far ahead yet

it's too late and i should be in bed but

ANYWAYS here you go!

[starry-mist]

S6e12 thoughts:

The brief flashback…okay we didn’t get the Charah and Rex meet cute, but I have conceded that aging Charlie down would be far more challenging than it was to just throw a wig on Mayko to bring back Sarah’s s1/2 hair.

The “hostage” situation somehow took even less time than I thought it would.

Holy crap. That nonverbal communication between Charlie, Sarah, Jesse, and Rex in the first scene. Just, wow. But in particular I loved Charlie’s quick thinking, the way he indicated to Sarah where Rex was with just a glance, her barely-perceptible nod, and the takedown. The takedown was a thing of beauty.

I love the subtle reassurances between Charlie and Sarah, again mostly with their eyes, but also with the tiniest hint of physical contact, and the brief moment when Charlie’s mask slips with the “you didn’t know that…I didn’t know that” lines when Sarah is talking about how she was never in actual danger.

A house scene! Yay! They were so cute and flirty. I will extend it with fic. (I’m also developing a headcanon based on all of two scenes as to why Sarah didn’t like working with Det. Porter, which might make it in.)

I picked out the killer right away, but my suspicion as to motive was incorrect (I figured it would have something to do with Gabriel being trans, so the “actually I kidnapped my daughter and he found out” kind of came out of left field.)

Sarah working to exonerate the guy who held a knife to her throat, because of course she would, because she’s Sarah. Ugh I love her so much.

Charlie…not that I’m complaining, but is there no dress code for him anymore? Because the number of undone buttons just to expose that extra little bit of chest hair…again, not complaining, but he’s gone totally feral.

And Charah once again with the workplace PDA. I am forever here for it. (I would be especially here for it leading to a baddie targeting one or both of them thanks to knowing their weakness but I am a complicated light whump/heavy angst-loving being.)

Next week’s promo:

I want to be excited for the travel to Toronto (which might actually be filmed more in Hamilton, IDK) but it looks like Charlie and Sarah will likely spend a lot of it separated and I don’t know how into that I am. I’m doubting the wife is really the “bad guy” (my money is on Stuart from Letterkenny who we saw in the promo.) I’ll be happy if they end the episode with Charah in the big city together for a scene or two but I’m not going to get my hopes up.

Also, honestly, how many best friends does Sarah have now? Because it’s starting to feel like a lot���

[imakemywings]

Having read your wonderful takes, I would like to know something. How would you write Elwing's reunion with M&M in Valinor? Or with Elrond (with the popular fanon of supposedly bringing M to the land)? I've read many takes/fics that tackle that and while I am in no way policing how people should write these characters, its a bit alarming the way Elwing is written so much as a hysterical bitch which is then used as a gotcha moment for feanorian apologists to say M&M were the rightful people to raised E&E because she is acting like that. Or have Elrond defend the oath against Elwing when she gives M&M grief for it. I feel like these all give great disservice to all of their characters but idk. I would like to know your own thoughts/headcanons about it.

Well I expect you know I love Elwing, so I'm going to lean towards a sympathetic take on her and a generally positive take on her relationship with her children, but I actually haven't considered much my own take on that reunion.

I feel like there are a lot of ways it could go.

A teary, big hugs "we missed each other so much" kind of thing scratches a particular itch for me and it really is a very lovely, sweet scene. It feels very cathartic considering how much was taken from them and how much time they might have had together that they lost.

A more awkward one where they are really glad to see each other but don't really know what to say also tracks for me. Elwing last saw Elrond when he was a little boy, and it would be reasonable that she's not sure how to treat him as an adult (in a sense, he's really a stranger to her now). Similarly, Elrond doesn't know his mother at all--the mom that you "know" as a little kid is usually a fair bit removed from the mom you know as an adult.

A delayed reunion also makes sense to me. One where Elwing holds back from seeking Elrond out, because she isn't sure if he wants to see her and/or trying to give him space for other reunions (such as with Celebrian) without having to deal with his mom as well; or where Elrond maybe has to gather himself a bit before seeking her out. There's a lot of feeling that's surely built up around their final days together so that would be a bit emotionally intimidating to tackle.

I could even take a slightly more standoffish reunion where Elrond, because Elwing is more myth and legend than mother to him at this point, isn't even sure what he wants from her, if anything, and it maybe takes some getting to know her before he realizes he wants her to be a part of his life again.

(Semi-related, I enjoy the idea of Elwing developing a relationship with Celebrian while they wait for Elrond to join them in Eldamar)

Even if you h/c Elrond with a very positive relationship with Maglor, it's clear through LotR that he very much still views Earendil and Elwing as his parents, which suggests to me there is still strong positive feeling there, even if their initial reunion also harbors some awkward or stilted feelings. And just for me, personally, I want that to be a positive and loving relationship because I think both Elwing and Elrond deserve that. They were robbed of having a relationship through most of Elrond's childhood and adolescence; they deserve to get to have a relationship with each other now.

As for any reunion between Elwing and the Feanorians I suppose my thought would be: There isn't one. I don't think Elwing would ever want to see any of them again for any reason, and my personal feelings for her are that she never forgives them.

Assuming Elrond was still fostering a relationship with Maglor, I don't think he would ever try to bring those two together unless Elwing proposed it, because he would be aware of how traumatizing it would be for her to see him again (having had to grow up with the guy himself). I absolutely cannot imagine Elrond defending the Feanorians to Elwing, except possibly to share some of the less terrible things they did while he was under their care. I don't think Elrond would find the oath justifiable, let alone try to defend it to other people. He can love Maglor and still think he was in the wrong.

I also honestly don't think Maglor would view himself as the "rightful" parent of Elrond, especially by the time he gets back to Valinor: I think he is well aware of what he stole from both of them and he would want Elrond to take the opportunity to finally have that relationship with Elwing (Maglor has his own mommy to repair relations with as well, after all).

Under the cut I'm putting some of my favorite "Elwing and Elrond reunion" fics!

The Myth Hanging Heavy Over You by stormfallen - 1.1k - Elrond asks about his mother, in 100-word drabbles.

Stained Glass by @polutrope - 400 - Elrond meets his mother.

Joy is a Bird, a Fragile Thing by estuarie - 1k - Elrond comes to Aman and meets someone who has been lost to him.

The One with All the Birds by clothono - 46.5k - Elwing and Nerdanel in Valinor in the Fourth Age; a story about children coming home.

[elanorpam]

Hey, ive been a fan of your cultstuck series since i first read it 10 years ago and its one that i hold dear along woth toastyglow and their siblings' works. Given that we are all adults now with very busy lives, i dont expect you to kerp up with an old project like writing a fan novel fpr free, but i am curious as what ur current plants for earthbent are, if there are any atm.

(Tbh id be happy with any answer you provide, whether its a detailed outline, an unsure shrug, an excited wink hinting at a deadline or an announcement of permanent hiatus. Youve given so much with your writing, thst i just want you to be happy with whatever plans u have)

hey there! i'm going to go with unsure shrug as an answer here.

see, I did have a detailed outline for cultstuck-- i wrote it all down at around ...2015? very soon after the second eridan chapter, and sent it to my beta, who then proceeded to ghost me forever. I was already sensing she was growing disinterested in the fic/the fandom, giving constant excuses, and I myself was dealing with an anxiety/depression combo that would sharply nosedive by the time the finale came around, so i just... let it go. She didn't care. I wasn't in a good mental place to care. We went our separate ways.

I decided to take a mental health sabbatical, and now, after a few years of sertraline and therapy, the thought of picking it back up is very, very far down my list of priorities. I have so many other fics I want to write, for media which hasn't let me this profoundly down! And also, Cultstuck was conceptualized in the post-cascade hiatus, in chat logs and rough outlines, and was never supposed to take later canon into account unless it dropped any interesting, matching lore...

...but late act 6 took such a dump on the characters and the setting that it took the joy right out of playing on my patch of sandbox, fenced off as it was. And I couldn't connect with the Retcon timeline at all, but some of its developments are so popular and so deeply entrenched that I hesitate to contradict them even though i kind of hate the whole thing and never meant to take it into account?

Let's take the strongest example: Davekat. Dave and Karkat in Cultstuck were never meant to be anything more than mutually annoying acquaintances connected only indirectly via Terezi-- Dave was to be her moirail, and aro-ace besides. This was because for the entirety of the comic, that was the only vibe I got from Dave as a character, and from his interactions with Karkat as a whole-- he and Karkat felt too similar in mutually unpleasant ways, like a cousin that's just enough like you to give you second-hand embarrassment. So by the point the comic was playing coy with pushing the New Dave and New Karkat action figures together, you couldn't get me to care about Davekat if you put a gun to my head. This really hasn't changed in the least. And that means whenever I think of dealing with disappointed Davekat fans in the future of the fic, I just feel an all-encompassing, soul-deep exhaustion.

but i also don't want to drop the fic altogether, for some reason? Like, I might not feel this way forever. So idk, i'm keeping my options open i guess. Subscribe to the fic/series and maybe 10 years from now you'll get a notification like a holiday miracle. Who knows.

[yorsgirl]

I just read through both chapters of your Gojo fic and I’m OBSESSED! So many thoughts right now, you’re so talented 😭

Y/N has given us a bit of insight as to why she dislikes Kazumi and I can honestly say that IF what she’s telling us is true (since we’re really only getting her perspective) then I don’t blame her for her feelings. Your rich friend that can accomplish anything they want because they were born into wealth constantly reminding you that YOU can’t always get what you want? Nah, I wouldn’t let a friend shit on my hopes and dreams whenever I spoke of them. Then continuing to call someone a nickname they’ve clearly said they didn’t like is also pretty disrespectful too, I wonder if there’s any more though because… Y/N GIRLIE why not just stop being friends with her if you didn’t like her 😭 she’s been inconsiderate of your feelings enough for you to just drop her but… None of this is an excuse to have an affair with the man your “best friend” loves though like??

I wonder if Y/N has actually developed feelings for Satoru. I’m sure their affair has started out of mutual attraction and revenge on Y/N’s part, but given her reaction when Satoru promptly reminded her of her place of not being on Kazumi’s level (which I wonder if he’s said because he most likely knows she’s insecure about it) then she might have without realizing it.

There’s so many questions racking through my brain, has Kazumi really not suspected a thing even through their blatant flirting in front of her on their first meeting? Why did Y/N stick with someone she clearly can’t stand? Is there more to Y/N and Kazumi’s relationship that we have yet to see or is Y/N just that awful of a person to Kazumi? As of right now my mind is just racing!

I can’t wait to see the aftermath of this situation, Y/N babe let’s get some therapy maybe 😌 Kazumi, I’m so sorry you were betrayed by the two people you probably loved most omg 😭 Satoru, you can go to hell (need you so bad tbh)

THANK YOU FOR THE CHAPTER and I’m so sorry for the essay message 😭 looking forward to part three! Have a good one ❤️

First, I just want to say THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SENDING ME THIS AND READING MY WORK!! ❤️ ✨️ and your character study is awesome dearie!!

Secondly, I love how you left messages for everyone, here's there answers for you:

Y/N: I am sure I can use a bit of therapy after all that, thank you.

Kazumi: I still can't... it's so hard to even believe but... I guess, I knew bits and pieces about it... Still it doesn't help but thank you for your concern.

Satoru: Would you accompany me on the road to hell, m'lady? *winks*

Now, to answer your questions, I won't answer about Kazumi and y/n's relationship and why didn't Kazumi suspect much cause anything it'll spoil the next part.

As for, why Y/N didn't leave Kazumi:

Its kind of an attachment issues. I have incorporated this trait in y/n recalling my behaviour with some of my former(toxic) friends. Idk if anyone relates with it or not but in this issue, you can't just let go of people who have done wrong to you.

There's a tendency to just stay with them even though you absolutely hate them. But the reason for the stay is because you want to witness and revel whenever the other person's suffering. And as we saw, y/n is a two-faced bitch – she'd provide fake support while laughing internally.

But this attachment issue also makes her suffer as she is not really "leaving" even though she might say that she doesn't care for Kazumi, she is actively present in her life and in a way does care (for her suffering). It is making her suffer too which kind of gives the feel of an internal masochism.

This brings me to my second answer:

I guess I have mentioned it that y/n does harbour feelings for Satoru even though she knows he is an asshole. And yes, the affair was mainly a revenge but then think about it, you are actively flirting, sleeping, meeting someone but all in secret. It gives you the - Us against the world vibe which is thrilling in itself and you don't know when you overstep the threshold of love even after knowing that your partner is a Dick.

Y/n knows that her feelings can be one sided and its causing her to suffer (internal masochism), still she can't stop this affair (attachment issues at play again).

That's just it!! And thank you for reading and writing to me. It really means a lot !! 💗 😭

[rebornofstars]

* I know I’m technically a focus on art but I also want to chat as writer—what’s one of your favorite troupes that you rarely write whether it’s because you feel you can’t do it justice or just because you don’t? Me personally I am an AVID fan of mind bending/un-reality fics, but I can never write them to a satisfactory level. They’re so fun to read especially when they’re multi-chapter and you’ve gotta theorize on wtf is going on!!! It’s quirky and fun!!!! No one knows what’s going on and I ADORE that type of confusion. Learning to write is fun but I’m not at that level yet and I’m excited for when I can GGHRAAAHHH!!!!

OH BOY. oh boy. hello there thank you so much for the ask i absolutely love it. this took me a while to respond to because i had to get my thoughts in order 😅 i like a good never-say-never attitude, but there are many many things i write that are not as good as the blurry versions of themselves rotating around the inside of my head! the potential, u know? i can never do the potential justice. somehow i don't think that will ever change.

one thing i definitely struggle with is long-term character development - whether it's romantic, like a slow burn, or platonic or just in terms of narrative structure, whatever. i can't seem to get it happening to my satisfaction. i am so comfortable collecting snapshots of specific points of a character's journey, but when i try to slowly allow them to grow and change, it always feels cheap idk 😬😭 i'm also not so good at writing stories which span a longer period of time and/or have timeskips. it's mostly due to lack of practice with longer stories, and i'm working on improving!

in terms of more specific tropes or genres, though.... mysteries. i can never figure out how heavy or subtle the foreshadowing should be. comedy is also hard, although i've been practicing that one and i think i'm slowly getting the hang of a few different styles that are more humourous. and sometimes i read, like, Feist and Wurts' Empire trilogy, or Rothfuss' The Name of the Wind, and realise all over again i have a looooong way yet to go when it comes to introducing worldbuilding into a story naturally and intuitively. also, this might be silly, because the LU fic i'm most known for is literally about this, but reveals? i'm not so confident i can live up to the hype or satisfactorily fulfill the tension i've built. i hope my cursebreaker readers are not going to be disappointed by the payoff/reveal i have planned 🤞🤞😁

that being said, though, i keep writing all of those tropes and genres anyway, and it's really an honour to have the space and encouragement to be giving it a shot. i'm so grateful that all my recurring readers have put their trust in me and my ability to deliver a good story. throughout my childhood writing has always been a very solitary endeavour for me and i cannot express how much fun i've been having on ao3 over the last year, and tumblr the last few months. i've never had a fandom community like this before 💕 and i like to think that while i'm still growing my skills, i also have the potential inside me for anything, if i give it a good shot and keep at it. i think we all do.

i'm very sorry for all of this word vomit 😁 i guess, to chat as a writer, all i can say is i also LOVE reality bending stories, and they're SO FUN and you're SO RIGHT, and i don't have so much one problem writing as i do a lot of smaller more general ones, because i like to throw myself into my problems head-first, and i believe that you too have a million potentials inside you if you keep at it, and i for one am very, very excited to see where you go. i guess this whole answer was a gesture of enouragement, in the end. 🤩🥰