#idk lol like i dont need to go but i feel like i should go and get something out of it bc i probably/definitely need to | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

griem · 3 months ago

Text

ijbol idk man releasing screenshots of very polarizing things said in a private discord server between friends in a public "callout" post is #the most #tumblrific thing ive ever seen LOL.

#opinion 😱 in tags

#our life #gb patch #gb patch games #our life beginnings & always #i also think it should be acknowledged that the white queer 'experience' and the black queer 'experience' are totally different #bc there are multiple occasions where GBLady has recieved an ask where shes accused of Something bc of a super specific issue #this whole situation is just the biggest case of GetOverYourself ive ever seen icl #i think rose is entitled to their opinion as a black trans person + a person who previously identified as a trans man #i think its easy to attack rose as an inflammatory person who 'purposely incites discourse' bc they dont use that super-pacifying #everyone is welcome on my blog tone that if not used is immediately interpreted by white people as hostility and rudeness #i don't agree with a lot of their takes that ive seen on their blog that were allegedly posted BEFORE they became a sensitivity reader #but irdgaf #bc its their personal blog and theyre entitled to their opinion and i don't believe u get to feel insulted or slighted #or deem them as unprofessional and inflammatory just bc they didnt speak to u on their personal blog as Nicely as u wanted them to #i just think this all leads back to a growing sense of entitlement in the gb patch fan community #esp among the our life fans #just bc this is a deeply customizable game doesn't mean that the dev can customize Every Single Thing to ur liking #it also doesn't mean that ignorance on the devs part or the staffs part in most capacities is purposefully discriminatory in nature #like no offence but wdym 'ur hands are shaking and u need to get offline' bc of all of This... please grow up and go outside #also This is controversial but a lot of yall use the fact that GBLady is a white cis woman who happens to b writing stories #with a very diverse and nuanced cast to railroad ur ideals on how the characters should b written #and if they don't meet Your personal experience as a member of that marginalized community then They are automatically written incorrectly #again just a very entitled community IJBOL #idgaf if u disagree come and kill me over it 🤷🏾‍♀️#but also im very curious abt what people think !! 👁#i also dk how to phrase this but the white gb patch community also Reeks of this strange entitlement and i hate to say it but . . .#Sensitivity ??#they have this weird almost parasocial relationship with GBLady + this fantastical relationship with the characters themselves #LOL idk if anybody gets what i mean

57 notes · View notes

puppyeared · 1 year ago

Text

its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously

#I have an assignment that was due a week ago and I really really dont want to do it. I have to but i dont want to #im probably making it worse because my brain has built a wall around it so now i can’t do literally anything else until thats done. but #because I don’t want to do it I’m just kinda stuck. turns out this is what they meant when they said emotional regulation is part of #exec dysfunction.. I’ll have a thought like if I get a little bit of it done now i can get it over with. I can just submit something #and then not even 5 minutes later itll be like ugh but I have to draw all the assets out. I have to write things and make spreads ugh #and its just flopping between those two things. i hate it when ppl are like well how much time do you need to work on one thing #because BOY id love to know too. I’d love to know exactly when my brain wants to cooperate with me and work around that but I cant #even my period can’t decide when it wants to punch me in the stomach. which is kinda funny in the grand scheme of things but still #its so weird im just lying on my bed thinking abt all this like damn.. the time will pass anyways no matter what I decide to do.. damn….#if I submit that assignment now and take the L I literally won’t die. it’ll just be a deduction on an assignment nobody will ask me about #I know this but I’m still stressing myself about it so my thoughts aren’t really connecting to my body. weird #maybe its because Im having a hard time looking forward to things. theres definitely a lot I should be living for but I don’t really feel #a strong attachment to it I guess? it’s been like this for a while with holidays and meeting with friends so I just don’t #I kinda figured its because im pretty passionless and its more like passing interest. but it’s not very fun when it feels like I’m going to #be living distraction to distraction for the next 70 years or so lol #idk it kind of feels like slowly bleeding out. which is funny because I actually did experience blood loss this week #had a 30 minute nosebleed and literally could not stand. also it felt like someone was pinching the back of my brain which was interesting #yapping #does this count as vent #vent #Ive just been making an oc carrd and contemplate changing my blog header for the past 3 days honestly

174 notes · View notes

thebirdandhersong · 2 months ago

Text

Lol

#theres nothing quite like your mother saying Well maybe you shouldve been more careful because now your boss might think youve been flirting #with this male coworker (whom i like splendidly as a friend) and now maybe she thinks youre not trustworthy #and maybe she regrets hiring you because you said you feel like youre making a lot of mistakes this week and she might assume thats because #your head is filled with this boy.#so dont make her regret hiring you.#MA'AM I TOLD YOU I WAS ALREADY ANXIOUS BECAUSE I MADE SO MANY MISTAKES TODAY WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME ASHAMED #OF SOMETHING THAT I HONESTLY HAD NO CLUE I OUGHT TO BE ANXIOUS ABOUT AT MY FIRST NEW JOB AFTER IVE GRADUATED????#anyway going to bed i cant take this anymore LOL she said it so lightly and im like. well i never even considered #being afraid of making my boss regret hiring me somehow because of some kind of behaviour that i had no idea was sending some kind of signal #anywaysssss 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#and then she was like why are you crying?? 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀#not to be like this is partly why i didnt want to move home but confound it all why are things like this #can i not simply confide in my mother my anxieties and worriws #worries #and not also have to worry about her potentially being like Well have you considered you ARE right and it IS your fault?#idk man something something firstborn child eldest daughter can i have some room to breathe. please #also not to whine but Not my father walking in on me eating dinner at 10pm because i was holed up #in my room in a semi depressive state after so many gong shows in a work day and straight up having no appetite #but deciding my body needs the food anyway its better late than never.....walking in and then saying #you know if you eat this late you'll gain weight. SIR??????????????????#sorry to complain and rant again i simply cannot in this house and whats more am doing my best to honour my parents #but why is it so hard out here and how can they say stuff like that with a smile!!!!!!!#also i DO have an inner critic who is always like Its your fault you are the worst you should be ashamed always........why do my parents #not understand after knowing me for so long and watching me grow up #that i can make myself so ashamed of the smallest thing so easily and that what they say drives me to shame almost as easily?#ANYWAY LOL WHAT A DAY #you guys!!! i am working so hard i promise i PROMISE I am!!! it is my first full time job ever and i am working so so hard #i am doing my absolute best and no one sees it and that is FINE i just wish my parents would see that i AM trying!!#i come back home so dead every single day because i put in 120%! this is literally my first job after graduation #and my parents KNOW this has been the most exhausting taxing and soul crushing year ive had in my very short life so far

21 notes · View notes

deoidesign · 3 months ago

Note

I’m a trans man that recently got diagnosed with hyper mobile eds, so now seeing Steve makes me extra happy, because cool disabled ftm rep. Thanks for making the radical dude bro, he’s funky.

same disability (waving hand emoji)

Always extremely fulfilling to know my work makes people happy in some small way, it means a lot. Thank you for sharing with me

#I dont talk about having eds cause its not specifically really relevant to my work #been diagnosed with it since 17. woag 10 years next april...#anyways. yeah idk I like the blog to be about my art and I'm used to people asking me a LOT of questions about EDS or disability or canes #just a lot of stuff unrelated to my art. I'm happy to talk about it but I don't want it to be the focus of my blog!#So I've p much chosen to mostly just. not talk about it. even though I'm literally fine talking about it #it's just rarely relevant and no one needs to know LOL #but. I also know that EDS can feel very lonely #and that it's really nice to know other people out there have it #so. hi anon you're not alone #also just in case. literally don't feel bad about anything in the tags here LOL #mostly just like 'please people do not start sending me asks about whether or not you should go to the doctor'#or asks about ableist family members #or venting about pain...#just a lot of invasive and boundary crossing asks the more I talk about it hahahah #but I don't mind sharing at all.#sorry I think I lost the plot on this one #good luck on your journey. starting to accomodate yourself does wonders #and really just extremely happy my work could reach you in this way #sending you love #asks #anon

43 notes · View notes

carcarrot · 1 month ago

Text

alright gang place your bets on how insane ill go next year for sparks

#new album AND world tour???? AGAIN??? (just got the maeling list emael. lol)#idk man i really cant keep spending this amount of money on concerts. i gotta cut back #im saying that even though im entertaining the idea of traveling out of the country for the first time and maybe see them in the uk #but idk if im ready for that man. and if im going i gotta go with somebody #not only for safety and anxiety reasons but i need someone to bother #i will probably want to see my beloved california in some form next year. we've been three years running #but i dont knowwwwww. who even knows whats gonna happen next year #can you imagine if the new album is something insane like a bunch of country western covers or something #just to shake up the sparks fans that are trying to predict what the guys are gonna do #its not gonna happen but it would be hysterical #im also less insane abt sparks as i was but with new things happening the feeling may return..... we will see #anyway im excited for kamala my house it should be a great album

10 notes · View notes

funkle420 · 1 month ago

Text

a great way to combat genAI in the future would be educating kids (and teens and college students and all ppl) on art way more.

#i had art classes growing up but i know a lot of ppl didn't and even less kids get art classes nowadays #we need all kinds of art classes too! music and history and painting and woodshop and drawing and life drawing #i think art history is especially important bc it connects us to our past and shows why art is so important #and all kinds of art classes help kids develop different important skills #like fine motor skills and critical thinking and making choices and noticing details and how to really SEE things rather than just looking #and a lot of art skills like woodworking and ceramics and sewing are all very practical basic adult skills that we should all get to learn #there's reasons arts and crafts and other skill based electives are the first to go and its not just bc they're undervalued #its cause a population that feels capable and confident and skilled and knows how to think critically #is harder to make work shitty jobs for shitty pay #harder to control!#same reason they're banning so many books and trying to make education worse #damn maybe i should learn how to teach better #im already planning to at least try doing a workshop for adults but maybe if i end up liking that #i could work towards being able to teach kids #i feel like teaching kids would be harder cause idk what concepts they do or dont know at whatever age they are #id have to do research and maybe talk to someone who has experience teaching art to kids #but even a simple art class would be beneficial i think #like going outside to draw things in nature maybe #or portrait drawing #or a class on how to make comics or animate on paper to impress their friends lol #i would've loved that!#id have to do that with the help of another teacher maybe #idk #vague future plans #anyway the reason education would help combat ai is cause ppl would learn abt what goes onto making art #all the choices and skills and thought #and they'd be able to more easily see the difference btwn real art and ai images and understand why making art is important

7 notes · View notes

decaffeinatedscarykoala · 4 months ago

Text

@messrsrobyn

Your tiktoks give me life

Be my friend

Adopt me pls😭😭😭

#now that ive humiliated myself i'll go make some tea #this is what happens when im bored #i just needed to say something #I've also got a banging headache lol #i feel like a creep #my tiktok is #what.does.t.moo.cow.say #i made it years ago and i dont have it in me to change the name😭😭#i think the name is like ♡🇵🇸#i should stop talking #im running on so little sleep #ill regret this rant in an hour #why did i tag him idk #i have no energy #i feel like a caveman cuz i dont have the willpower for intelligent thought rn so my head just goes 'sad' 'happy' 'ow' and that basically it #alos this whole post is weird and ive just given myself such embarrassment i shouldnt be allowed on this earth i have done humankind wrong

11 notes · View notes

defender-of-jouvente · 2 months ago

Text

{Kind of Important}

{prooobably a bad time to post this considering its pretty late over here, and i think its also probably fair to assume that its pretty late on your end to. buuut i gotta do it now or ill forget.

so! as you've seen prior, we've had occasional interactions with "duplicates" of members of the party- yknow, the fact that theres at least three siffrins, and that one king, and another bonnie hanging around. amongst, ah.... other things.

but, issue is, we as a group have kiiind of- intentionally or not- created a specific universe/timeline for ourselves. one with "official" individuals standing in for each character. which is a long way of saying that we can't really have our characters interact directly- as in face-to-face- if they're a character who has a pre-claimed "role".

long story short: we probably won't be able to have "duplicates" in the central story since it would disrupt it and what we have planned. i promise its no hard feelings, it would just get. Really Messy. otherwise.

that being saiiiiid, we still wanna interact with ya'll, regardless of whether your playing your oc, an alternate timeline version of pre-exisiting character, or something else entirely! (King set up the Anon-Bird thing for that exact reason, but it obviously has it's faults.)

i cannot speak for the others at this time- i think it's sort of a mixed bag of indecision and we need to discuss it more. but i, personally, would love to interact face-to-face. i did say i was welcoming you all with open arms, after all! (it's really our bad for not being a little clearer....)

so, with that noted, my personal solution is to create the concept of "out of universe" interaction. this way we can still have our characters hang out, and it won't disrupt the main timeline. generally speaking, isabeau will still be in whatever physical (and mental) state he is during that point in the timeline, but there won't be the weight of it disrupting what's actually going on for him and getting everything wildly off track.

i reiterate that this isn't a hard rule. this won't necessarily carry across blogs, and, while i dont want to promise anything, if we collectively choose to continue on after the main story is finished, i'll probably loosen it up considerably. because i think the concept having multiples of the same character running around a still recovering vaugarde for no discernible reason is hilarious. and i have a fun idea for connecting prior OoU interactions to make them a little more "canon"- ish.

but, y'know, we all still need to discuss this properly.

shit this got long. okay. UM. UH.

TL;DR: we can't currently "canonically" have our characters interact directly if they're "duplicates" of characters in the main timeline. that being said, we still wanna rp with those folks, so i personally will be making the decision to open up "out of universe" interaction with people so we can still interact without creating a disruption. the others might not do the same, though.

ill probably update the rules with this later. i dunno. im done here though, peace ✌}

#mun post #{emoji description: a hand holding up two fingers in a peace sign}#{the others can add on with their personal preferences for interaction.}#{annnnyways. thank you to the sif in the inbox that sparked this discussion. you saved us a lot of trouble.}#{i'll be using the 'OoU' tag for this stuff. to be fair i dont think we were initially planning to have a hard canon.}#{buuut here we are.}#OoU #<-{that tag}#{idk if this is the quote unquote 'right' solution but its the one im going for for now.}#{feel free to dm me if you wanna hash this out for interactions or smth.}#{affectionately. you guys should make rp blogs for characters that aren't sif.}#{so you dont have to interact with a collective of blogs that have to set up a rule like this bc they got too invested in their story lol}#{also i'd like to see another isabeau. i need to have a second isabeau hit the me. i need these two to collide.}#{ok im talking too much you get the idea thanks good night}

8 notes · View notes

bueris · 6 months ago

Text

okay maybe I should seriously reconsider my path in life and sell my soul to marketing or journalism instead

#okay venting in the tags you are very welcome to ignore or not respond to it i just need to yell somewhere #i always thought id be an art therapist because well i care about people and want to help them and love art #but everyday i wake up feeling like a fraud and an imposter so like. should i really be doing all that when im not entirely #certain i cpuld handle it??? like i know i haven't gotten the meaty bit of the education towards that yet but like #university costs a disgusting amount of money here and if i pick the wronf thing im likely doomed forever thanks to awful government #i know things could get better like they did after thatcher but honestly im not putting any bets on it considering how the current labour #party is so like if i fuck up here im basically dead #also can i actually do art uni. like could i cope with that. im deeply unethused with art at the moment and honestly will i evwr be #idk #it was jusr a thing i always did but education around it is fucking soul sucking #also the emotional weight of hearing and solving people's problems as a therapist. i would consider myself quite empathetic for the most #part i feel other people's pain quite strongly and obviously as a therapist id be feeling that quite a bit so could i actually cope with it?#ik therapists have therapists but still #i mean im doing work experience at an occupational therapy place so ill just be extra inquisitive about it all to make sure im going #the way i wanna #I'll be fine by the end of a levels ill probably understand what i want in life #if not then gap year to work it out #should probably look at unis for english language too then #sigh #ucas website i may as well marry you #ill be okay im getting in my head about stuff im actually pretty good at art even if there are things i can improve on (like patience lol)#yeah maybe the voice telling me i suck doesnt know shit and should shut up #yeah #shut it nasty voice you're wrong actually!!! im doing just fine and you're being overly critical #they should make a brain that's your friend and not mush that hides the amalgamation of every bad thing ever in its crevices #crevices shoyild be filled with kindness and love.#sex jokes about that #why the fuck is yahoo mail syncing i dont use you you washed up search engine #bue waffling #vent post

10 notes · View notes

coridallasmultipass · 7 months ago

Text

Just wanna remind everyone that it's NEVER okay to tell someone to die.

You don't know how hard they're fighting to stay alive every day. Or if they don't even want to fight for that any more.

#i hate that i let that get to me lmao just ruined my fucking day ive been sitting here sobbing for like an hour #i cant tell anyone just how much i dont even want to try any more bc i dont see the point #medical issues and mental issues dont pair well and i dunno if im even gonna be able to survive the next flare up #i dont need fandom spaces telling me to die when im already telling myself that every fucking day #also why does my age always get brought up lmao i didnt choose to be born 30 years ago stop telling me im old #my body has been telling me im old since age 11 you dont know what ive fucking been thru #30 was just a formality and serves as another reminder of how ill never meet societys expectations for a 30yo lmao #my point is. you should try showing a little more kindness if telling someone to die comes so easily #ive literally never once told anyone to die in my life. you just dont fucking go there. what if they kill themself right after that?#can you live knowing they did so on your command?#i couldnt #thats just like beyond fucked up #anyway im gonna go try and stop crying #ill prob stay off tumblr today idk i feel real sick lol #delete later / /#i hate that i cant exist as myself either in person (too queer and closeted in a rural area) or online (too queer and weird ships)#anyway

8 notes · View notes

fruityumbrella · 10 days ago

Text

if i was braver id have made that last chapter end like the textpost about shower sex

#you know the one #god i really am like. idk i dont want to be such an oversharer spiraler on here bc it makes me feel silly to have people read my fics-#-and then see what an insane loser i am about writing them but whatever its my blog #anyway i feel kind of disconnected from this one already maybe bc i took a big break from writing it or smth idk #but i LOVED it when i was first writing it but now i.......idk. i dont feel very anything about it and that really sucks #and i feel like im constantly shaving down edges on anything i write in an effort to make it palatable #which is so fucking stupid anyway like. i end up hitting post and immediately going. well i should have done this done that #ok then why didnt you dawg nobody has a gun to your head lol #augh. whatever. ill figure out a way to do what i want eventually #i think i need to start working on 4 fics at once again

2 notes · View notes

opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year ago

Text

...

#hello to anyone who happens to b interested in the saga of my life... also maybe the irl person i gave my url to... hopefully my blog #didnt freak her out too much lol. anyway so its been a busy week? 2 weeks? month? year? life? its been a lot. my parents helped me move #across the country from the desert to somewhere that's beautiful and green. my dad is so jealous of me lol its so so so pretty and theres s #so much to do. will i do any of it? that remains to be seen but im gonna try to be better about that sort of thing. try to get some help #with the thoughts in my head that keep me from doing and enjoying most things. its weird like im decorating my new room which i love. the #location and living situation seem ideal and i really hope i can stay here all 5 years of my program but i was picking a lot of bright #colors and now it feel uncomfortable. like if i wear things that r too bright or my room is too bright without dark contrast it feel weird #like if im wearing it it kinda makes me feel sick. idk what thats abt. anyway. ill try to heal my brain and im just so happy to b out of the #southwest. i was so so so excited when we were leaving thr city and even more so when we left the state. i cant believe im here. in December #it felt like a million years away and i really truely could not fathom how i was gonna survive that long. my thoughts were so distorted. but #i did and here i am. and in like a month i should b starting my phd program and my parents were telling me how excited ppl r for me and #jealous of where im living and im glad. im glad they're excited. i think i am too but its under a layer of: if i get excited it wont happen #im not allowed to b excited or it wont happen. which is irrational but ya kno. anyway so that's yeah. im so happy to have a fresh start and #the town seems super cool. a liberal blip in a sea of... not that so theyre very visibly pride forward haha and i think itll b way easier #for me to get around without driving. and im gonna try to make friends. i need someone to tell me where to get tattoos haha. so yea im happy #but exhausted and i dont wanna go back to work and so so greatful to my parents for being wonderful ppl idk how bc both of them had fucked #up childhoods. like my mum will say the saddest shit and im like bro this is y i don't wanna talk to my grandma fuck her and my dads parents #r so fucked. like my nana is the reason im so fucking control freaked out but i kno i have issues and she has no insight and thinks shes #better than everyone. anyway hopefully i can get back to drawing a posting more now. ive been drawing it its been in a sketch book #like an actual sketch book for sketching big ideas thst r gonna take fucking forever to draw 😭#so that's all. just uprooted my whole life. thats all. but in a good way :-]#unrelated

34 notes · View notes

lesbianlenas · 2 months ago

Text

the way that i am always like how can i get out of going to class & now when i had to call the paramedics i’m like but i HAVE to go to class tomorrow :( like ok girl what is it? suddenly when it’s better not to ur like no i need to i see how it is

#michelle speaks #my first class is on zoom at least…..i would like to be able to go to my other 2 classes but i will have to see how i feel….#bc i feel better now but still not so great & if i go to class i might feel bad again so idk…..MIGHT be very tempted to not go to my #externship friday tho lol…….but that is just bc i dont feel great rn yk…..i will prob feel better tomorrow 😩#basically i had really severe abdominal pain so my body feels like it has been thru a traumatic experience which it was lol #the pain is like 95% gone now & it didn’t seem like it was a medical emergency so i’m fine #but the pain was legit worse than a migraine & that is saying sooooo much let me tell you. i was like oh i’m gonna die fr 😭😭😭😭#so like my body is still coping w that experience lol……so i should prob not go to class but i can only miss one more class for one of them #and what if i need to miss it at some other point yk…….it’s hard 😔#also this is SOOOOOOO sad bc they finally had the good garlic bread at whole foods & i was so excited to eat some 😔#drank like 60oz of water & ate some apple sauce tho so i guess i’ll live…..but at the cost of no garlic bread 😔

3 notes · View notes

deoidesign · 2 months ago

Note

just wanted to say that I absolutely LOVE your comic I am so inspired by it and it’s so lovely and I wanna buy the physical books (I’ve never done that before) I just AUGGHHH EVERYTHING ABOUT IT IS SO 💙💙💙

do you allow fanart? And is there anything not allowed? I wanna draw adam and steve so bad 😭

Of course it's allowed! Fanart fanfic fan music fan dubs whatever!

I like to think I'm sort of "building a playground" when I make a story, have fun on it! I made it for you!

In my general opinion, it's not my business what my "fandom" does... It's on you and also me to curate our own spaces! If you're inspired by my work in any way, that's the greatest honor I could imagine and I want you to feel fully free to explore that. If someone is being weird, I know where the block button is and they can keep being weird where I don't have to see it haha

Just don't like... sell it... it's messy legally with webtoon and I'm one person making the story and it's my whole income so the few sales I get are kind of huge for me ;_;

#the way I see it is if I put up a boundary of like 'dont make something that I wouldnt want to see'#all it does is scare the people who respect me into not making anything!#and the people who were never going to respect me anyways were going to make those things regardless #because they didn't respect me. so they wouldnt care if I put that boundary up.#so my opinion is like honestly it's not my business what you do... if you're doing something weird with my story it's not reflecting on me #like youre the one doing the weird thing not me...? so why would I care LOL #I'm pretty good about blocking tags or ignoring the things that make me uncomfortable. which has happened #also like. I'll be honest #if you sold like 3 I also wouldnt care AHGASJGLKGJASLGKJSA #cause idk. I dont generally feel like it's taking away from my business...#idk!!! it's a weird zone #like I need money to live but morally I'm not opposed to other people making art and selling it so idk where to land on that #but uhhh webtoon wouldnt like it if you sold it. so #I'm not going to like go after someone idk...#if I did not need the money to live. I wouldnt care at all and would probably encourage other people selling my stuff #or like their art of my stuff. not my art of my stuff. never do that #thats just regular theft #but webtoon does NOT!!! like that and idk how much they go after stuff like that. I know they went after scanlation sites sob #novaeverse #asks #sorry this is so unclear. my opinions on it are unclear lmao #basically. do whatever.#I can't stop what you are doing and I will not waste the energy trying #all I ask for is some basic respect!#and I dont think I can or should ask for more. so #enjoy! make whatever! it's literally making free art for me AUGASJGLKSAJGALKGJ how could I say no...

17 notes · View notes

gothamcityneedsme · 3 months ago

Text

i was like. why am i flying by the seat of my pants on these dlcs omg. *realizes ive been doing this whole playthrough on master difficulty* ohhhh

#shitpost #im about to do sanat. and then only masakado left #smtiv replay #i need to use metatron as my healer b/c my other healers have too low hp lol #one of my fav things about smtiv though is that even at level 99 flynn can still die. the way armor and such works in the game means like #it isn't super easy #and tbh i think smtiva would be the same but the issue THERE is that twisted tokyo makes you go above level cap and so like #my nanashi is TOO powerful now because he's in the 300s or 400s or whatever the fuck lol #i think i have some maxxed skills too. i'd have to check #so like flynn can still have trouble but nanashi built for twisted tokyo is just too powerful for the maingame.#i should do a playthrough where i dont do that lol #is it possible to have the level break dlc but not activate it? idk man #i'd love to have level 99 nanashi feel the same as level 99 flynn #and then i'd just do only one level of twisted tokyo and not mroe than that #idk.

5 notes · View notes

nomairuins · 4 months ago

Text

i just fucking hate having ptsd all of it. so many stupid fucking things send me into fucking hysterics it sucks and i hate it and i dont want itttt anymore i dont want it.

#i literally like. i didnt tell u guys bc it was embarassing #but i had to hype myself up to eat a fucking orange the other day. like i was shaking and crying and i nearly threw up.#bc it fucking reminded me of All that and also bc its one of the only foods i got to eat outside ofm my one meal a day #while i was living there. bc my coworker gave me oranges sometimes #and one time she gave me a whole bag of cuties which was wonderful of her i miss her #but i pretty much like. bc during m-f i had a meal at work #and i could get something from the vending machine if i needed to #but on the weekends i had to either order food (which would always make me insanely nauseous bc of. the money stuff. yk) or just eat #what i had in my room bc i couldnt use the kitchen bc the roommates would be mad at me #and they might kick me out and id be actually fucked. its so crazy looking back that i genuinely the entire time i fucking lived there even #b4 the breakup the entire time i was in terror that theyd evict me. bc i wouldnt have been able to do anything abt it #i mean thats why i didnt like. leave him after he . and stuff. both bc i thought i didnt deserve anything better and bc i was terrified #theyd evict me and i wouldnt have any way to get home. it was terrifying #but ya. so for a couple weeks i rationed myself One orange per day lol. and on weekends that was all i was able to eat rly #idk. i hate ptsd. basicalllyyyy is the gist of ittt. and i keep thinking abt random fucking things they did to me #me when they jokingly tell me to starve myself when i literally have a fucking eating disorder. and when i told The Only Person i knew in #that fucking house abt it he told me i was being dramatic and i was just being greedy and etc. and then later when i got off work today i #saw on their fucking whiteboard in the kitchen i wasnt supposed to use Eat more <3 as one of their goals. while i went to sit in the garage #for the weekend eating a single fucking orange a day. god #idk. ive gotten better with eating i still have the scale but i ws able to go months without using it until the medical call the other week #and i havent used it since but. everytime i think abt all that itmakes me want to go back to it. i cant tho everyone would notice #i do still eat a wholee lot less than i did b4 washington but idk. idont remember if i even ate today i probably should but i dont feel #hungry but i cant even fucking trust that bc i Starved myself for so fucking long im too good at ignoring hunger. and i never was super in #touch with my body but im constantly numb now. idk.#ed ment #a2t #i ws gonna say more but it ws tmi + tag limit anyway. its just insane that my fucking ed wouldnt have happened if it werent for him and it #graduated i wouldnt have been isolatedinever wouldve had an ed. like 50% of my ptsd would be Gone if i just hadnt joined that discord. lol

3 notes · View notes