#idk ill try my best tho!
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Hetaween day 2: Werewolves! (plus a Vampire), featuring Nyo!America and Nyo!England @hetaween-event
#hetaween 2024#hws america#hws england#nyo america#nyo england#hetalia#usuk#hetalia usuk#tomorrow will more than likely just be a sketch#i started working on day 4 but im struggling with motivation rn due to some of my meds being out of stock sadlt#i really wanted to participate in all the days but sadly i may not be able to. i might just do sketches from here on out...#idk ill try my best tho!
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seafood trio portraits !
+ some alts. with spoilers !
#this is how they look after the 3yr jump 👍#pretty proud that i managed to capture how i usually imagine them :0 ! been in an art slump so this was a pleasant surprise#idk if ill b able to draw them consistently tho . so these designs r for my brain only#might try to color these but i havent eaten lunch yet so thats a problem for another day#solar-drawss#my art#han sooyoung#kim dokja#yoo joonghyuk#yhk#yoohankim#orv#orv spoilers#omniscient reader's viewpoint#omnicient reader's view point#cackling at how miserable sp and 63hsy look compared to kdj in the middle#her whimsy … shes living her best life rn#……i lied i think i just gave him My face straight up jfc . get that off of u asshole#anyways if u didnt already notice ! yoohan have matching eyebrow scars 🫶#kdj has one on his nose in that first one#the second kdj has cracks all over her which i forgot to add is inspired by hehearse’s works !!#the reason why they dont show up in the first one is bc aileen covered it up before he went to 1863#like . hoseki no kuni style ✌️#fun fact i sketched that hsy the night before her birthday skfjsjf had to give up bc it was too late tho#so now im repurposing it for this#NO WAIT I SHOULD JUST GO BACK AND GIVE HSY A CLEFT LIP …. dam lost opportunity. well whoevers reading this just kno she has one now
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as cute as apple pie!!!!
#or peach pie#in this color coded case#yall im trying to make words from my brain but theres these loud ass frogs outside my house#they might be the tiny frogs that sleep on my flowers#idk theyre so noisy tho#i guess thats good tho so ill know theyre still alive#i care for them so#i love how ant tries his best to look cool collected and nonchalant#and he does have that air of calm intrigue to him#but he also just looks like such a little pookie bear like i cant take it srsly#just wanna give him a lil smooch on his smiley cheek#when he was mimicking dillon and watching the enemy team warmup all intimidating like#and he just ended up looking like some small curious fellow who wants to join their game of catch#but is too shy to say so#ant trying to be tuff: 🙂
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As another Magneto player honestly if I'm up against a Wolverine and I think he's gonna get me I try and hold my ult to solo ult him when he's trying to jump me. Might not kill him but it gives me a headstart.
solo ulting a wolverine is crazy but honestly depending on the situation fair enough 😭
#snap chats#like i cant ever WHOLLY admonish a solo ult because It Depends On The Situation. also its funny sometimes#as of this moment im trying to figure out what best to do against a wolverine as mags#i have to open up the game and mess around in the practice area but like... idk pick a god and pray#just hope he doesnt isolate you idfk 👀👄👀#ok no let me be fr let me actually try to think. im pretty sure mags' left click does....#ok i cant im opening the game really quick brb#ok im back vkAELJAKLE#logan rn has 300 hp and can be taken out in four direct hits. fuck me i forgot mags' right click HANG ON#ok im back. whyd i do all that my conclusion was youre definitely fucked if wolverine has his revive JVELAKGJAEKL#ill at least say for those who dont know mags' left click does 90 per hit and 30 on splash damage#and his right click escalates from 50 -> 80 -> 110 . im p sure. either that or 45 -> 75 -> 105#i dont have a friend to help me see the exact numbers i just have to look at the health bar indents jvlejakl#also your bubble lasts for three seconds BUT can pop if damaged too much. again i dont know that damage threshold due to Lack Of Friends#his barrier is infinite tho and takes 10 seconds to fully recharge after using + you can track it with the lil bar on the right#his barrier at max health holds for three seconds which doesnt sound like a lot but yes it is you WILL feel the difference#anyway even solo ulting could be risky cause if he didnt use his lunge already and /or still has revive#1.) he could grab you out of ult 2.) he comes back from dying and gets you anyway#not totally purposeless like Again you did get rid of his revive so .. again it depends ..#having wanda could probably help mags a lot their chaos blade does the same as mags' fully-charged rings#can definitely cut down logan a lot faster so i mean ... better hope you have a wanda on your team ig lol ..#we'll get to that when we get to it it might not even be that bad ...... eearjaLKJa
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me, stupidly and weirdly resistant to listening to audio books vs reading a physical book for no real reason: man i wish there was a way to like, read a book while i crochet like i do with tv shows and movies and podcasts
#toy txt post#my reasons are irrational you dont need to try to talk me into it. i KNOW#its very silly of me#imagine how much reading i could get done. but alas. Feels Bad#even listening to a more. uh. Story type podcast or fiction like nightvale was a bit difficult to start for me. i like nightvale now i#listened. but i worry that is clocking in my brain as an Exception 😔 maybe it would be easier if i tried some nonfiction books? scary#i also struggle with single host podcasts apparently even tho im also ehhhh on the kind where the structure is the host Interviewing a#different person everytime? maybe it would be okay with a nonfiction audiobook tho cos it would be getting read by a narrator and not sound#so much like a guy ranting into a mic which makes me feel a little insane. altho propaganda doesnt necessarily always sound like a guy#ranting into a mic so idk. i could probably make it through if i can find a nice book about like. parasitic worms. i could tolerate#feeling like im falling into sigma male affirmations videos for worms i think. wormffirmations are allowed#*to clarify i dont listen to those but listening to better offline makes me feel like im morphing into the kinda guy who does and i hate it#which feels unfair cos he is RIGHT and the podcast is good but i need there to be like a cohost there to break the tension of the Ranting#sometimes he has guests on? but its not quite the same#i think the format i like best is either like 2 or 3 regular cohosts discussing things within a specific topic#OR. 1 host whos like infodumping to the other host who knows nothing about the subject. OR. 2 hosts info dumping to each other about#different aspects of the subject. OR. 1 host who brings on fun guests to infodump to them about a subject. and then obviously the subject#needs to intrigue me. ex. sawbones well theres your problem (I HATE THAT THIS ONE IS BEST EXPERIENCED ON YOUTUBE😭 I WANT THEM TO JUST DUMP#ALL THE SLIDES INTO A BIG BLOG POST SOMEWHERE AND I CAN CHECK IN AND FOLLOW ALONG THAT WAY WITHOUT HAVING TO HAVE MY PHONE SCREEN ON THE#WHOLE TIME!!!!!!!!! but. im listening for free so its unreasonable to demand more of them BUT ALSO I FEEL LIKE JUST COPYPASTING ALL OF THE#SLIDES INTO A BIG BLOG POST ISNT THAT MUCH MORE EFFORT THAN EDITING A WHOLE YOUTUBE VIDEO? WAAAAAH. THEY DONT NEED TO BE TIMESTAMPED OR#ANYTHING JUST THROW EM IN ILL FIGURE IT OUTTTTTT#anyway. also more than 3 hosts is really pushing my ability to keep track of voices.#anyway: sawbones wtyp tpwky behind the bastards scam goddess#(which is true crime adjacent but focuses mainly on scams and isnt copaganda and laci is funny and cool)#common descent pod completely arbortrary maintenance phase if books could kill#deep sea podcast has more bringing ppl in to interview them about shit than i personally enjoy but i put up with it cos i do like the hosts#and the subject
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how is your game dev going:O
hi hi! ^-^/ it's tedious time-consuming work but thinking about The OCs™ I lovingly made and people maybe liking them all one day is what drives me when i get lazy or wonder why im doing this fr.
honestly i always want to talk about em here, but there's a part of me that doesnt want to spoil too much or 'ruin' the surprise for others yknow?
i do have a gamedev account. i nvr shared it cuz i got shy, but for those that want little peeks and updates here and there youre free to follow -> @kendev
but overall there's been pretty good progress on art and writing. been trying to focus more-so on the writing for a good while though, it's hard when you get distracted easy and lack discipline </3 </3 </3 but its getting there!
better to try than not :] ty for the ask
#kenmail#honestly i havent posted much there in a long time. its mainly little doodles or textposts i think fit characters#with the occasional devlog or character sprite/color testing#the separate blog is bcuz idk how much constant updates and stuff would bug ppl here#like yeah i get it. its my account i can post whatever! but there are some excited abt the game who want to go in somewhat blind#so i was trying to consider that. like 'hm ok. ill just make an account dedicated to The Work and snippets' yknow#that way people have the choice to view it if they want. or even mute the blog i suppose.#besides i wanna make more games in the future!! i figure its best for general branding. keep all the games under one catalogue kinda(?)#like yay follow this account for xyz updates. u-u probably gonna have to be a name change in the future tho maybe?#unless i make a separate blog again 🤔 so many accounts tho it sounds like more work so who knows....
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and when i live on my own ill be able to decorate like real life decorate ive never gotten to do that in real life b4
#like im not barred from doing it Nd i do like. a little bit kind of but its like. Idk my entire life is a very transient thing and im rly#rly rly not used to being in one place for a long time so as a kid we never rly decorated ever#and like obv i wont be Owning a house or anything like that so itll still have to be moveable but i can like. but furniture that i like and#stuff... ive never gotten to do that b4 even in um. wa. i didnt rly get to do any of the decorating even when i was in the actual house bc#him and the roommates umm. did all that. Okay well now ive sort of freaked it by making myself think of that so im going to go stare#longingly at the floorplan i did#bc umm. well ideally id like to move into one of the apartments thats right across the way bc theres a couple of apt buildings like right#there 5 min walk tops and one of the places Has an open one but no floorplan#i wont be movjng out for ages i just wanted to look at floorplans yk#but like i said no floorplans BUT theres one a bit further away not rly walkable bc its umm#youd have to walk on the interstate and stuff and um. no sidewalk and everything but theeeeeeeeee thing had a floorplan#still very close by like 2 min drive but yk. but i still did my little mockup floorplan with that apartment instead#i want it to be closeby so everybody can come visit and so that i dont die and explode . i dont rly want to continue living in this town#4ever once km like Normal and have savings and ive got everything worked out i wanna maybe move to chicago or something since il is better#for the transgenderisms. + ive always wanted to try living in a big city at least once and i think itd be awesome#but thats Ages and ages away like maybe 5 years depending on how good i am. weeee will see if 5 years in the future is like on the table 4#me LOLLLL 24 year old connor seems rly crazy to imagine. but anyways....#but itll be nice to move out and still be in town bc then i can have the same job yk . and maybe ill know how to drive atp and i can like .#buy a car ..or something . if i do know how to drive#which i probably should since this town very car dependent and i dont want my mom to have to drive me to work esp if umm. i dont live with#them ... im just rly rly rly rly rly fucking scared of driving but i know also in my heart that when i do know how to drive the bond between#me and that car will be crazyyyy like. idk how many of you followed me last year but you may remember my insane bond with angel my cart from#work and there was a lot gokng on woth that <- was Very delusional at the time and i was convinced that she was a sentient thing and had the#power to make my life better or worse if i upset her so i said good morning and goodnight to her every single day so that i could have a#good day . looking back on it probably was something to be concerned abt but whatever.... she is still my best friend and i do miss her#deeply#her bathtub and heater were my besttt friends when i was in wa LOL. i was quite unwell#bathtub is still in my room tho yayyy. heater lives with lamp now and angel is of course at my old job....#bathtub currently is holding a project i gave up on. everyone say thank.you bathtub im looking at her right now
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Guys I missed the countdown by 7 minutes can we redo it?
#would anyone believe me if i said i was distracted by wrestling cable around a piece of wood#i got the best shower thought to pull my amp so it faces into my room instead of into the corner#just rotating it#and the fuckening cable was stuck under a wooden art project (like a canvas) and i had a sbahj moment trying to figure out...#...which side of the canvas the majority of the cable was on#i know where the cable is connected to the wall but i didnt know how far along i pushed it along the wall#ughhhhshdjdossb#rip my back but im determined to go into the new year playing guitar#so can we redo it now 14 minutes later? bc i cant explain the configuration of my room#ShitPost.exe#OBLIGATORY: 'DISCLAIMER: i'M HI (HIGH)' TAG#wait i need more minutes i think i gotta tune to C please hold idk what tune this band does#firmly grasp the moment. go back to 2359 and hold the moment for me ill hit unpuase when im good and ready#edit: unpause i was being dramatic its only drop D but i found the keyboard riff so ill learn that on guitar instead#WE'LL START FROM FIVE... 4... 3.. 2.. fuckyou#dundundununundundjndunnizndnndndjsn#listen up yall#edit 2: i wasn't being dramatic lmao the song i was planning on in the shower was actually C#but i changed my mind when i sat down bc i couldnt remember which song (ive had the playlist on repeat most of today#so fuck my life back to tuning ig#its okay tho i fiddled around on the midnight in my heart#wow can i say anything without innuendo#edit 3: oh thank god its drop c not c lmao still maybe i should prank future cori by leaving my guitar in drop c for the next time i play#gonna pull it out like 'holy shit whats wrong with this thang' (i would not lol i tune it every time)#but ill remember this moment and shake my fist at past cori bc theres nothing future cori can do to stop present cori#can u tell im procrastinating lol. my amp made a funny sound when i turned it on and its not nearly old enough to need warming up yet#fuck i mean i need time to warm up too but like . fuck lol.
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hmm I think instead of feeling bad I will simply project this bad onto The Character . for funsies .
#just blahs#not gonna do anything abt it bcs idk how i could but ovuehncke sparrow with scrupulosity ocd <3#just consider with me sparrow being terrified of accidentally saying anything wrong or offending literally anyone#and her completely accidentally saying smthin offensive and trying to figure out how to properly deal with that#without just making the whole situation about herself rather than the person she actually offended#bcs shes afraid that makes her a bad person who just didnt care enough to be aware of herself#gets a bit venty past this point but guys im literally pinky promising you rn I'm ok and ill figure it out please no one bring it up to me#and nobody think about the fact that im projecting rn just think about sparrow ok#this is my way of dealing w similar stuff w/o making it about me bcs ik that thats a shitty thing to do and i need to work it out myself#aughhncns literally every time goddamnit . i accidentally do smthin wrong and then someone (very kindly !!!) tells me hey that was wrong#and then i have a breakdown about it and feel bad and overthink it for the next like week#jesus fucking christ ok it's fine im being patient with myself and i know no one thinks im a bad person#and i know that they know i didnt mean it#and i know that i did say smthin insensitive and thats just something i have to be aware of#and the fact that i said it doesn't mean that im a terrible horrific irredeemable person#i'm trying my best now to be aware of it and be better and think abt whst they said and that's all i can do and thats ok#its fine .#anyways .#also hi cookies if you see this genuinely thank you for telling me tho like i do appreciate it and i am ok dw
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With a combination of medicine, excessive water, and Soup, I am feeling... okay.
Very sleepy. But at least it's not agony to swallow like it was last night. So I'll take it.
#speculation nation#idk if it's progress or drugs but im glad to not be utterly miserable#i just feel kinda crummy.#but i have nowhere to be for all of today. so i can just spend it lounging.#for now ill probably nap. later i might wanna try watching a show maybe. if i can get myself to.#rn i have like... no concentration in my brain lol. so i cant do anything i actually care about.#sleepytired... such is my existence rn... just existing waiting for the next dose of my nyquil...#i did order a care package for myself tho. of dietary supplement shakes. apple sauce. and More Soup.#since. last night even just having the soft mac n cheese hurt real bad.#so im on a mostly liquid diet rn. not the best. but it's better than nothing.#getting lots of fluids... lots of nutrients... trying my best to take care of myself... i am...
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Tag rambling ignore me
#clemmie talks#im dropping out of my masters program for library science#i feel bad doing it but im so burnt out from undergrad and its too hard for me intellectuallly#like im just too dumb and silly i dont know whats going on :(#im going to work on getting my drivers license and a regular job with my bachelors instead for now#hopefully at Best Buy or something. cuz i love computers#but yeah ill try my masters again later. mentally i am not able to do it rj#*rn#i feel bad and stupid bc my other friends were able to do it. but i am like.... idk#i think its autistic burnout cuz i am barely functioning#need to talk with my psychiatrist about it i know. for now tho. i guess ill do my best to.... do other stuff#:/ i wish i was smarter and more motivated but im. so tired all the time
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official review of the new j&a: I liked it! that is all
#idk why theyre putting them on headgum now but i don't nesasarily mind#if anything it only strengthens my argument that post-finale j&a canon is not official canon. still fun tho!!!#that being said: i liked the episode!! not the best vid ever but better than a lot of the new ones i thought#it felt more classic and i thought it was pretty funny. had my favourite j&a style/format. nothing groundbreaking but i did like it#also love the wider canon implications that amir stayed in contact with parm but not with leron lmaooo#also i liked when he asked jake to run away with him. i love my delicious ship crumbs :)#n e ways. i liked it. p good. defo midtier but ill take a standard episode in these trying times
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rly love how the energy of the lantern rite epilogue is just everyone going "what the F*ck, hu tao"
#buzz#genshin impact#im glad she at least politely (exaggerated) asked him tho. from what ive seen she just straight up dragged him lmao#im always happy to see my boy tho....#good scenes tho. ill always have a soft spot for the liyue kids#also that dumb*ss interaction between venti and the olden boys... amazing#also first post swearing on this blog lets go#cw cursing#cw swearing#swearing tw#cursing tw#idk lol#also hu tao and venti friendship?? wow#genshin impact spoilers#but not rly#lantern rite spoilers#but not rly also#also my poor baby meow meow ily ily ily xiao kjdfkjsdfdsn baby baby boy hes trying his best!!!!!!#im sorry for making fun of zhongli in front of you!!! sorry!!!!!#the lil liyue kids doing dumb (affectionate) games and being stupid (affectionate) sighs...
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Watching videos essays abt political stuff is fun except for the fact that it's abt real life and it's not fun
#rat rambles#^ just finished a video essay abt trans stuff and is having a Moment™#Im ok just kinda emotional#and filled with rage abt everything ever but yknow when am I not#I rlyyy need to see if theres any lgbtq originisatons in my area#if theres one close enough maybe I could start vollenteering? idk#Im just anxious abt not being considered queer enough yknow the usual sorts dhndhdjhdjd#but honestly its more so abt my lesbianism since I have a very complicated relationship with ulit#like it makes me feel like if I bring up my acearo identity it makes my lesbianism less ~real~ somehow#like idk I wanna meet other queer ppl irl and I want more queer friends and I wanna be able to experiment with stuff#but idk why Im so scared abt the idea of having to explain myself#I know ppl probably wont care but ig Im just scared that if other queer ppl reject me then Ill have nowhere to go#or maybe itd go great and I could get a girlfriend like fuck man thats the problem xhdkgsksh#it could be the best thing thats ever happened to me but Im so anxious abt trying#Ive been so lonely and fuck man I dont trust myself to not let myself get trampled#sorry this got real personal real fast dhdkgdkdh again Im ok just emotional#now that I brought up the girlfriend thing tho I am going to be having gay thoughts while I shower so oops dhkdhkdh#idk Im still so unsure abt how I feel abt dating no romantic attraction asside like#again Ive never been able to experiment? and I also just dont know if theres anyone Id be willing to date in practice#like it might just be lonliness but it also could be me forming a stronger sense of self and better existing outside of relationships#and as such feeling more comfortable abt the idea of having more deep relationships with ppl even outside of dating and such#but again its all theoretical rn 😔#anyways I need to shower bro its so late#rat vents
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didnt think it was actually physically possible to experience worse period cramps than I was already getting every month but being back on the pill again has proven me wrong 🫠🫠🫠🫠
#bad enough i now have a new step on my pain scale i dont think ive experienced a 9 until now all i could do was sob and thrash around#its gone down to.maybe a 7.5 now but holy fucking shit. what the fuck is wrong with my fucking body. i can feel each cramp pass through#every individual muscle fibre thryre so strong im shaking. girl fucking chill out ur not in fucking labour!!!!!!!#nothing is fucking helping i took twice my usual dose of naproxen half an hour ago and it hasnt had an effect yet i wish i had#codeine that wasnt combined with ibuprofen bc i cant take another nsaid unless i want a stomach perforation fucks sake i usually have#cocodamol but im out rn maybe ill just take a bunch of paracetamol too and hope for the best#tens machine had absolutely zero effect the thing is i can feel the tissue doing the same involuntary spasming without it#the heat is the only thing bringing it down from that 9 i can already tell im getting burns but oh well#was very close to calling emergency services once i regained enough coherent thought to be able to open my phone#but i dont think theres any point now like itd be so low priority itd take hours and hours for anyone to show up by then itll have eased#man i would do fucking anything for smth stronger tho please. i can be trusted with morphine.#ik i have a friend with access to some maybe i should call him. its fucking 2am tho and he lives the next city over and idk him that well#and he was talking abt disposing of it anyway so maybe he doesnt have it anymore. ugrhfhjh. man#not finishing this course ik theres only 2 days left but fuck it. no more hormones unless they agree to prescribe me stronger painkillers#if i cant find a way of dealing with this shit im going to have to kill myself im not doing this every month for the rest of my life#its getting progressively worse anyway so maybe itll actually kill me before i can do it like maybe ill get a crazy rupture and bleed out#but man im in pain all the fucking time even if its mostly mild and then once a month i have to experience this and im supposed to carry#on living my life around that and waitlists for tests are years let alone treatment and i cant fucking afford to go private#and i dont know what to do any more about it im so so so fucking tired and it hurts so much and i wish someone else was here with me rn#and i havr to be up for work in 4 hours. although i wont physically be able to go in if this doesnt subside bc i cant fucking walk#but if i have to take a sick day and be alone with this pain without distraction. ahahahahahahaha. im in danger#okay okay okay i think meds are kicking in a little the edge is softening. im going to refill this again and try to sleep if i can#fucking drama man. my jaw hurts from clenching it so much#.vent
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*hypnotises you* you sooooo wanna write seunghwan and junseok threesome😍😍
-🪐
OMG FUCK YEAH I DO IF YOUVE BEEN FOLLOWING ME FOR A WHILE YOU SHOULD KNOW ABT THE SEUNGHWAN MELTDOWN I HAD ON HERE AND JUNSEOK IS LITERALLY LOML SO LIKE THERE IS LITERALLY NOTHING THAT COULD TOP THIS IDEA
#☆ ; hey listen ?#i just got home from work#so ill eat shower and do my laundry n then ill get right to it!!#idk if ill be able to finish it tonight tho its almost midnight already //:#ill try my best!!!!!#☆ ; my 🪐 ᡣ𐭩
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