#it could be the best thing thats ever happened to me but Im so anxious abt trying

[chisatowo]

Watching videos essays abt political stuff is fun except for the fact that it's abt real life and it's not fun

[grahstumhurts]

The stars aligned for us

Synopsis- Y/n had always had a crush on Sophia. this being Y/n's senior year, she had to make it count. Sophia, a untouchable goddess, in Y/ns eyes. Will it happen?

A/N - YES I KNOW ITS A CHEESY TITLE AND FIC, ITS MY FIRST TIME WRITING FOR TUMBLR OKAY. SUE ME IF I WANTED SOME CHEESY ROMANTIC SOPHIA CONTENT. This was not proof read so yeah

 Lara always complains about how I stare at her in the halls when she passes by with her flock. “Dude, its honestly sad how much time you spend a day staring at her and or thinking about her, when in all brutal truth, she probably doesn't give you a single thought.” Lara sighs, rubbing her forehead in frustration as she watches me get out my books for my AP biology class. “Its not that bad, okay. Trust me i've been worse.” I try defending myself, “Listen, Y/N At this point you might as well confess since it's almost the end of the year. Whats the worst that could happen? You get embarrassed, yes, But you won't ever see her again until the highschool reunion.” Lara tries to convince me for the Nth time this year. Senior year was supposed to be the year where I let loose. By the time senior spring had come and college applications were through, there had been one thing I had yet to do. I’ve known her for years. I mean everyone knows her at our school. She's everyone's dream girl, Untouchable you could say. Sophia Laforteza. I sigh, almost giving in this time, “No, I won't do it. Like i've said multiple times, she's an untouchable painting that, Good lord, I want to touch so bad” I close my locker, leaning against it, facing towards Lara. She gives me an unimpressed look. “You have AP Bio with her next right? So why not ask her to study sometime? I mean you are basically failing that class,girl.” I pause, I consider it, My brain algorithm approves. The bell rings for the next period. “why are you actually kinda smart, Lara.” I walk past her “Hey, woah what do you mean kinda, I legit just gave you the best idea ever” she yells at my passing figure as i jog off to mr bennetts classroom. “For the sake of my mental health I pray to Beyonce that this works.” Lara mumbles under her breath as she walks off to her class. 

Now you would think that the universe would be on my side. And you would be right. The stars have aligned as Lara would say, God forbid that girl ever not talk about stars and astrology the moment the conversation dies down. “Alright class, today i'm announcing your semester-long project for this class. This project will be starting today and will be ending by the end of the semester, so right around April we will present. Now this is a partner project” The class groans in disbelief, “Settle down. Now, I will be picking the partners-” The class erupts in boisterous anger at Mr bennett. “Calm down, Jesus, I'm retiring after this year. This project is going to be about whatever you want it to be. as long as it relates to biology.” He opens his laptop. “Now the partners will be…” he pauses reading the screen “Chloe and Marquise, Nickolas and Wendy, Y/N and Sophia” I note down these partnerships in my head just for reference, Wait. Are you fucking kidding me, its me and sophia? Now in hindsight you would think that maybe this is a class prank on me. I swear to fucking god i was about ready to explode, yean no not that kind of explode, the one where im the most anxious person on the god damn planet that we call fucking earth. Out of the 24 students in this class, other than me, there is a one in fucking 24 chance that i would be placed with her. Which i find is fucking ridiculous. “And thats it for partners, now if you could start planning your projects that would be great” Everyone shuffles around the room, trying to find their partner. I scramble to pick up my things when I drop my pencil case. I notice a manicured hand pick it up, i connect the hand to the arm, the arm to the body. Like the gorgeous goddess she is, she hands me my pencil case, Stupid fucking fish pencil case. “I like your pencil case, its pretty creative and unique” She comments, placing the fish on the table “thanks, my grandma got it for me so i've just been using it ever since.” I laugh uncomfortably. “What do you wanna do the project on?” I meekly ask her, I avoid all eye contact possible. She ponders for a moment, “I've always been kinda interested in how the weather contributes to moods, would that be something your okay with doing?”  “imokaywithdoingwhateveryouwant” I spit out, at possibly the pace of a marathon runner. She laughs to herself at my reaction “you're cute.” She mumbles. “Are you free this week to start the project or…” She drags off the end of the word to insinuate for me to answer, “i'm good for this week, maybe tomorrow? After school” “We can go over to your house? My siblings can be quite loud so i dont think that’ll be the best “study spot”” She physically puts those two words in quotations. Which wakes me up to the reality that i will be spending the rest of the semester with her, creating a project. “Sure, Im down.” I say a little too excited, I clear my throat. “Cool, cant wait” she says casually as she walks off to her desk to pack up. 

The first week went surprisingly well. I actually kept my cool and had a normal conversation with her. As the weeks grow, my feelings never really cut off for her. Instead, like a tumour, it grows. And so does my guilt. The project builds up a good amount of research, by the time its almost the end of the semester, March to be exact. The guilt, it flourishes inside me like a mouldy banana in the bottom of your bag. For all I know she could be straight. 

I hear the doorbell ring, I know its her. My mom answers the door, as per usual. lets her in, then she comes up the stairs and up to my room where the door is already open for her to come in. “Hey” she greets me “almost the end huh? I bought some snacks on the way here, I remember last week you mentioned sour skittles to me so I figured I could try them with you.” “you remembered?” “Yeah, why wouldn't i? We are friends right? I mean with all the time we have spent on this project, i assumed we are friends” she looks confused, almost hurt? “Are we not friends” “we are, yeah” I flusteredly responded, panicking at the seemingly wounded look. She cracks a smile “i'm just messing with you,” she knocks my shoulder against hers as she sits down on my bed. “I think there's a storm coming soon actually” she says opening the shopping bag with the seemingly endless amount of snacks in it. “Kinda ironic don't you think?” I say to her, We get to work for the next couple of hours, sprinkling in some goofy moments between the two of us. She ends up having to stay over, The storm inhibiting her ability to go home. I look out the window, the rain looks as if it will never end. “You ever danced in the rain?” She sits next to me, resting her head on my shoulder, observing the perspiration. “I did it once with an ex boyfriend of mine,” she adds to her previous comment. For some reason that last bit stung a little, like a scratch from a cat. “You had a boyfriend?” I ask genuinely curious. “I ended things with him since I figured out that i liked girls” “oh, i didnt know you liked girls.” I looked at her, Her hazel eyes looking back. “Do you like girls?” she questioned me. “Yeah, always have” I answered meekly. An idea came to me when she looked back out the window, I stood up. “Lets go out into the rain” I drag her closely behind me as we walk out the front door to my house, running out into the wet sky. I laugh at her standing confused in the doorway. “Dude come on” I actively try to convince her “you were the one that started talking about dancing in the rain” I open my mouth and let the almost salty droplets hit my tongue. “Eugh, dude, dont you know how disgusting rain water is” She runs out into the rain, fully embracing the uncomfortable wetness covering her body. I curtsy to her “Mi’ Lady would you care for a dance?” I say in a faux british accent. She giggles “Of course Mi’ Lady, a dance would be appreciated.” I bring her in, her waist in one hand and her own hand in the other. “Is this okay?” I yell over the sound of the water droplets hitting the ground. She nods, resting her head on my shoulder as we sway in the middle of the driveway. She looks up at me, searching my face for something. Looking down at my lips, then my eyes, then back at my lips again. “What?” I asked her “do i have something on my face?” She cups my cheeks, her warm thumb stroking my cheekbones. Before I can say another thing, she leans in, and kisses me. The Ivy that is guilt covering my heart slowly withers away, her hands leave my cheeks and caress the hair on the back of my neck. I pull her in closer, wrapping my arms around her body. A lightning crack makes us pull apart. “You seriously dont know how long ive been dreaming of this happening” I tuck my face into her soaking collar, she kisses my forehead. “How long?” she giggles, “1st grade, When i first moved here. And it trailed all the way here.” “damn i wasn't expecting that.” I blush. “Do you wanna be my girlfriend?” I call out over the rain. “Of course dumbass” She leans back in, coating my whole body in a warm honey feeling, The stars aligned for us to be.

[dirtybitfic]

Therapy pt.1

matt sturniolo x y/n

Story contains- language, talking about sexual fantasies and issues, kinks, therapy session.

Pink-you purple- Leslie your best friend. blue -matt. orange the receptionist

story line- you start therapy to help with issues you had with partners in the past and not knowing how to fix them and feeling like your not finding people who match your wants and needs in the bedroom.

Y/n pov-

I just got ready to head to my first sex therapy session. I'm honestly mortified I even have to do this in the first place but Leslie my best friend said it would be helpful.

One week ago..

y/n I love you but you really need to go to someone professional about this

no absolutely not . im not going to a random person to try and figure out my sex issues .

I'm serious it can be really beneficial ! do you want to suffer for the rest of your life with partners who won't give you what you want or do you want to talk to a trained therapist who can help you find the right way to find what you want and why you want it

ughh I don't know I just don't like talking to people I don't know about shit like this .

I know it makes you anxious but some of your fantasies are a bit... extravagant and this therapist might be able to help you understand why you want things like that you know find out the underlying details you might not see for yourself

okay you have a point there.. okay maybe ill go once and if I like it ill stick with it if not then I won't go back

Yeah what's the worst that could happen

I blame you if it goes to shit

yeah yeah whatever your so dramatic

Present time

Im not gonna lie i'm so nervous about this whole thing. I never liked therapy in general . I only like talking about my life with people I trust so talking to a stranger about my sex problems sounds like hell.

Maybe Leslies right though this could end well and I might enjoy it but ... probably fucking not.

I just pulled up to the building and parked in the parking deck I was already 9 minutes late since parking in down town L.A is horrible so obviously thats not helping my anxiety at all.

I made my way to the lobby of the 26 story building and took the elevator up to the 20th floor.

walking out I noticed the seating area was very spacious but also dull.

all the furniture was black and white . Everything looked so clean and pristine I was almost scared to touch anything. As I walked up to the reception desk the young woman noticed me and smiled.

Hey you must be y/n . Your here for the 7:00 appointment right?

yes hi im so sorry im late parking was a mess

no worries matts last appointment is running a little behind anyways.Take a seat and ill let you know when to head back

okay thank you

I took a seat on one of the black couches and scrolled on my phone trying to busy my mind

After about 10 more minutes a couple walked out of the long hallway looking very pissed off and on edge .

I averted my attention back to my phone to avoid awkward eye contact.

Y/n Matt is ready for you if you'd like to head back

okay thank you

I make my way down the long hallway slowly still unsure of going through with this or not.

I reach the doors and softly push one open and walk in .

A man who im guessing is matt is sitting in a chair at a desk facing out to the windows so I can only see the back of his head.

I softly clear my throat.

hi Mr.sturniolo im y/n

he jolts in his chair

Oh hi im sorry your so quiet I didn't hear you come in he says as he spins around to face you and your breathe catches in your throat .

He is the most attractive man you've ever seen . Dark hair with bright blue eyes, nice stubble and tattoos adorned his left arm. Maybe this won't be so bad

I hold eye contact not saying anything but smiling awkwardly.

oh sorry please have a seat and we can get started

I take a seat in the chair opposite to him and softy set my phone on my lap and purse on the ground.

so y/n what made you choose to come see me

umm well it was a suggestion my beat friend made she said that it might help me work out some things that I might not be seeing for my self

okay well lets start off with your relationship backgrounds . How many relationships have you had and how long were they

well i've only had two real relationships. The first one was when I was a sophomore in high school it was about 6 months and my second one was my during summer going into sophomore year of college it was about 3 months.

okay ... why would you say the first relationship didn't work out?

Umm I don't know . He was pretty verbally abusive and made me feel bad about myself . He closed me off From my friends and threw temper tantrums in front of my parents which was very embarrassing but after a while I got fed up with the way he treated me even after I asked him to fix some things that I didn't like and he didn't so I broke up with him.

okay and how was the sexual relationship with him

I mean pretty good id say its one of the only reasons I stuck around for so long

okay so what made it good .?What are some things he did that you enjoyed?

well I don't know . He let me keep my shirt on so I liked that

he chuckled a little bit at your answer .

okay thats ... nice but name things he did that made you feel good . Did he talk you through it . touch you in a way that made you feel good ... things like that

yeah I mean he was my first everything . He would choke me which is something that I like ... he would give me hickeys in only places we could see which I thought was hot I guess. He would I guess praise me a little which made me feel good .

okay and did he ever prioritize your pleasure over his

n-no not really I mean he never made me cum

You were with him for 6 months and he didn't make you cum at all?

no I mean he would make me ummm you started to get nervous for some reason not wanting to say squirt.

So he made you squirt but never gave you a full orgasm

yeah

okay and what about the second relationship

well it was more of a glorified situationship but he was great until he wasn't . He treated me well always made me feel pretty and wanted. The sex was fucking amazing I mean he was the only man who ever gave me head and I used to hate the idea of having a man go down on me I still kinda do but he was so good at it . And he made me you know uh squirt a lot but again never made me orgasm or he'd have me right at the brink of orgasming and then he'd cum and that was it. But after 2 and a half months he got distant said he was going through a lot and pretty much ghosted me for 2 weeks so I broke it off and never spoke to him again.

okay and what are things he did during sex that you enjoyed.

well he would choke me and he'd degrade me which is something I love and he would slap me which I did have to ask him to do but he did it willingly and he would talk to me a lot during it which I liked especially when id be over stimulated and id be crying and he'd hold me closer but made me take it which I found really attractive . He also bit my shoulder sometimes which for some reason I liked . He also liked to leave hands prints on my ass which I loved too and I loved leaving scratch marks on his back and he also enjoyed it .

okay so what ive gathered so far is you like being choked , its easier for you squirt than it is to orgasm , you have a pain kink, you like receiving and leaving marks, you like impact play and with an educated guess your a submissive.

Y-yeah I mean you got all that from such little information...

well I mean it is my job y/n he smiles at you causing you to smile back .

That is true you say with a quite laugh

so what are somethings that you feel were missing from your past sexual partners or maybe somethings you wanted them to do but were too afraid to bring up

well I mean obviously Id like to find a man who Puts in the effort to make me cum . I also guess I wish id like my partners to be more vocal even if its just sounds I like to know im doing a good job and that I make them feel good. I also wish they would make me call them specific names... sometimes I don't find it hot to moan their names so I just don't . I also would like someone who fully dominates me you know bosses me around tells me exactly what to do and how to do it. I also wish that I could fully voice what I want but when I try I pussy out.

okay so obviously they haven't fully satisfied your wants and needs in the past. How do you usually feel after sex?

I guess used in a way . I haven't really had a guy yet who takes care of me after . They all have just gotten up threw me a towel to clean myself off and then I get dressed and leave.

so you crave the intimate parts as well as the sex. You want to feel taken care of after and not just like they got what they want and thats all

yeah exactly I mean thats why I haven't really had sex in a while I started to have a lot of mental challenges with myself and it created a lot of body image issues and I just got tired of feeling used

im sorry they made you feel that way. I think what a lot of guys fail to realize is girls minds are very different . They don't think the way they treat a girl after has that much effect but it does and ive seen through the years the toll that it can take on younger woman's minds that can even lead to eating disorders. Its very important to make woman feel loved and take care of even if the sex is rough and after they do something so small like running a bath to help you relax small things can really make a difference

exactly I want something like that but I feel like I always go for emotionally immature men who just see me as a piece off ass and get what they want then leave I just feel like its hard to find a man who will fit my every want and desire but I don't want to keep lowering my standards just so I can get fucked once and a while

You shouldn't have to lower your standards for that but it does sounds like being celibate isn't something you're happy about he says with a look on his face that you cant exactly read .

well no I mean I like having sex honestly sometimes I think I like it a bit too much . Im horny a lot and don't get me wrong toys are great but its never quite the same and having someone on top of me making me feel good

I understand what you mean . Don't take this the wrong way but do you think that you might be a sex addict

i... well maybe I don't know you say as your face gets red with embarrassment .

do you think that maybe looking into something like a bdsm club would be worth a try . Judging by the things you like that you've told me so far you need a dominant who not only wants to pleasure you but enjoys giving you everything you want

I don't know ive looked into it but they all seem weird and sketchy .

Well what is your dream man explain what he would look like what he would do to you that would meet your every deep desire

well I like a man who's taller than me who I can stand next to and feel small compared too but also feel protected by. I like a man who looks dark and mysterious kind of like if he walked into a room people would feel on edge and a bit scared. I like a man with dark hair and light eyes preferably with tattoos that has an energy to him that makes me feel slightly in danger even though im not. I want a man who asks me my kinks and fantasies and has no problem making them a reality .

And what is your darkest fantasy . one you've never told anybody he says leaning closer to you over the desk making your breathe hitch .

He narrows his eyes on you as he notices your breathing pattern changing and the way your thighs rub together as you squirm in your chair. With how attractive he is and the way he pins you down with his eye contact and all the sex talk it has you wet and horny.

I don't know if you really want to hear about that to be honest you'll probably think im crazy

I would never think that y/n you have to remember I hear about things like this on a day to day bases its nothing that I probably haven't heard before.

okay c-can I look in my notes app thats where I have them written in full detail

of course also lets move to the couch this seat gets uncomfortable after sitting in it all day

okay you say as you slowly get up making your way to the couch and taking a seat in the middle

he stands adjusting his pants and taking off his tie setting in on his chair as he unbuttons a couple of the top buttons of his dress shirt getting more comfortable since your his last client of the day.

he comes over and sits almost knee to knee with you causing your breathing to accelerate at the closeness between you both.

whenever your ready to share go ahead I promise this is a safe space I will not judge you

okay . Well my fantasy takes place in a grave yard...

okay scence set he says smiling over at you

well it starts off with me taking a walk in the grave yard kind of late and its dark and foggy as I make my way to the far back where there's tress and the larger graves I hear a branch snap like someone is watching me causing me to get nervous and a bit scared but I keep walking back further till I hit old decrepit stairs that lead into catacombs . As I make my way to the stairs I hear more branches snapping and look into the woods to see a man in a mask watching me as he slowly makes his way to me before I run down the stairs causing his to chase after me into the catacombs and before I can get father away he grabs me by my hair causing me to slam back into his big tall frame and fear to flood my body . Then he drags me into one of the open rooms with skulls adorning the walls and throws me on the ground ripping my clothes off and tying my hands behind my back so I cant move them or push him away as he slides into me roughly from the back and he fucks me so hard im crying and shaking under as he tells me how wet I am for him and how much of a good girl I am for letting him take me like this and makes beg him to let me cum so many times im crying and shaking . I also think it would be hot for him to create small cuts in my back with a knife every time I cum until they make up his initials in my back and he fills me to the brim with his cum.

you finally finish reading it and take a deep breathe even scared to look at him not wanting to see his face

y/n look at me

I cant

and why not he says in a deep raspy tone

because I just cant

he moves his hand to your back sliding up slowly until he reaches the back of your head tugging on your scalp causing you to gasp as he forces you too look at him.

I said I would not judge you and I meant that but when I tell you to look at me I expect you to treat me with respect and do as your told

y-yes mr sturniolo im sorry you wince when he lets go of the strong grip he had in your hair .

You were already wet from reading your dirtiest fantasy to him but then he did that and now you were a fucking water fall you could feel it seeping through your thong under your skirt.

you stare at him as he stares back as you with darkened eyes that have you melting into the couch feeling intimidated by the way he is looking at you so intensely.

there's a knock on the door causing you both to break out of the trance you were in and look over .

hey mr sturniolo I was just coming in to check if everything was okay its 20 minutes after my clock out time...

oh im so sorry Kayla you can head out we have some things to finish up on im sorry for holding you over

its okay see you Monday morning

she walks out leaving you and matt alone again.

if you need to go I understand I didn't realize we went over time

no its okay we still have some more stuff to talk about and to be honest I don't have anywhere to rush too

alright then what else do we have to talk about

what about this fantasy excites you the most

um I guess the fear of not knowing who's under the mask but also the fact they followed me I guess it makes me feel special and that he put in that much effort just to get me

Okay so fear turns you on?

I mean I guess but only in certain scenarios

okay so lets say you lived in a big house with a lot of land and you didn't have close neighbors and you had a stalker and he showed up every night watching you from far away . Is that something that would turn you on

yeah I mean the books I read have definitely tainted my mind but yes that would turn me on

what about having a stalker turns you on?

I guess the fact that they are so obsessed with me they feel the need to stalk and watch me

so you like the feeling of knowing someone is obsessed with you

yeah it would make me feel special I guess I don't know saying that out loud sounds concerning

no it doesn't I think you like attention you like knowing that someone is watching you and waiting to pounce on you when they want . You like thinking of someone taking you when they want and not having a say don't you

yeah I guess

so im guessing you also have a consensual non consensual kink ?

yeah you sigh . its kind of concerning how good he is at guessing your kinks and finding ways to get the information out of you without you having to just straight out say it. It honestly makes it less awkward .

so with the cnc kink what about it do you like?

I guess the fighting back I like to push buttons see how much of a fight I can put up until they finally brake and take their anger out on me

so your a brat?

excuse me you ask shocked at what he called you.

he laughs seeing you expression

y/n im not calling you a brat its a type of submissive trait you like getting a man annoyed at you so they punish you when they've had enough of your attitude

ohh yeah okay that makes more sense you say laughing softly to yourself

so you like being punished he says moving his leg closer to yours making them touch fully which has you pulsing around nothing. The way he speaks to you turns you on just the tones of his voice is deep yet soothing put there's also an underlying tones that makes it sounds like he's humiliating you with the words he speaks.

I mean I don't know ive never been punished a day in my life even as a kid I didn't get punished.

come here he says making you look at him confused

he softly grabs your arm then pulls you over his knees

w-what are you doing

don't worry this is strictly a lesson if you'd like me to stop I will but its easier to show you this way then explain with words

your breathing is loud at this point as your thighs squeeze together . the way he has you over his knees is doing something to you given the fact you know your ass is showing since your skirt is kind of short

are you okay with me showing you it will help you get an idea if being punished is something your into or not

you nod your head with cases him to jolt his knee up causing your body to bounce up and your skirt to ride up.

I need you to use your words y/n

y-yes this is okay I trust you

good now lets say I was your dominant okay. The thing I will be punishing you for is earlier can you tell me what that might be

ummm I don't know uh your voice coming out a little shaky. Your so turned on and you're sure if he looks down at any point he could see your soaked thong.

some on use your brain I know you'll figure it out he says as. you feel his hand on your back slowly rubbing small soothing circles

um when I didn't look at you after reading my fantasy

good girl thats exactly what I will punish you for and the punishment will be leaving my hand print on your ass would that be okay

y-yes

good now ill do 5 on each side okay if you want me to stop just tell me and I will okay

okay you say softly. The last thing you expected was for your first session to end with you over your therapists knee having a full demonstration of something you could be into.

his hand slides down your back to your ass as he rubs softly over your left cheek then his hand smacks down hard causing you to gasp.

thats one and I want you to count for me okay

y-yes sir

he groans causing you to blush and wait for the next smack

his hand comes down again making you squeak out Two

your doing good

after the last smack your breathing hard and your left cheek is stinging and pulsing in the spot he continuously hit.

his hand smacks down on your right cheek causing you to jolt forward .

fuck you gasp he hit harder than you expected.

you need me to stop

no im okay keep going

he finishes the last 4 and you're panting as your thighs are clenching together so hard you can feel the muscles straining. He helps you off his lap and you sit back down on the couch wincing in pain as your raw ass hits the surface.

he looks at you with dark blown out eyes with a slight smirk on his face.

well you obviously like being punished he says causing you to furrow your brows at him as you face got hotter.

oh yeah and how do you know that. you said in a snippy tone

because you clenched your thighs the entire time and ... I could see how soaked your thong was

your breathe hitched as you looked down at the ground trying to hide your embarrassment .

no need to be embarrassed . We did it to see if it was something you liked at it proved you did .

matt was about four years older than you making him 26 and you 22 which made this situation even hotter given the age gap.

yeah I know im just embarrassed I like it that much I guess

well I think we covered a good amount for out first session . When do you want to schedule your next meeting ?

do you have any openings on Tuesday ?

let me check he says getting up and going over to his desk to look at his computer .

he looked so hot leaning over his desk , his sleeves rolled up showing his toned forearms and his big veiny hands gripping the tables edge. God you wish you could have those hands around your neck. which makes you realize you forgot to mention one of your biggest kinks .

oh I did forget one kink that plays a roll in a lot

oh yeah and what is that he say still focusing on his computer

Hands you say biting your lip still looking at his hands.

he looks at you then notices you're looking at his hands causing his dick to stiffen even more in his pants. You hadn't noticed he had a hard on and he's glad about that. He's never had a client so close to his age that also fits everything he finds attractive . You're exactly the type of girl he's ever wanted , the perfect bratty submissive but he keeps it to himself knowing he's your therapist and he cant jeopardize your business relationship.

You snap out of it meeting his eyes as he's smirking at you causing your face to get red knowing he caught you looking at his hands.

I have two openings one in the afternoon for 1 pm or 7pm

can we do the 7 pm again

yeah of course ill put you in for 7pm

he finishes setting your appointment and starts grabbing his stuff you stand up off the couch and go to grab your phone where you had set it on his desk and grab your purse taking out your keys.

wait for me and ill walk you out its pretty late out you shouldn't be walking out of here on your own

okay thank you I mean you don't have to do that

no I insist he says before walking around his desk to you and leading you to the door.

he turns the lights off then locks his office doors then you both make your way down the hall to the sitting room area . He turns off all the overhead lights then meets you at the front entrance doors.

He locks those then you make your way to the elevators down to the parking deck.

so what did you think of your first session I know a lot of people don't like therapy

honestly I was really not excited but it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be

im glad I wasn't that bad

me too honestly I was expecting an old man not ...you

ill take that as a good thing

oh yeah no sorry I didn't mean it in a bad way im really glad your young it made me a little less nervous

im glad and I hope it helped to talk through some stuff

it did I mean I usually don't talk about most of this sex stuff with people so it felt good to get some of it out

well then I guess the therapy is doing its job

yeah I guess so you say smiling over at him

which floor did you park on

im pretty sure eight

cool me too ill walk you to your car

oh no you don't have to do that don't you have like a girlfriend to get home to or something

no actually I don't I do have brothers that are waiting for me to get them dinner though

oh well don't let me take more of your time im sure I can safely make it to my car

come on were in down town LA there could be crack heads roaming around ill walk you they can wait

fine if you insist

you make it down to the 8th floor of the parking deck and start walking in the direction of where you parked

so do you live with your brothers

yeah im actually a triplet so you know were very close we haven't really felt the need to move into our own places

oh wow thats cool I have an older brother but were not super close I always wished id had a twin sister though

how old is your brother

oh hes 26

ahh the older brother dynamic I get it its kind of hard to have a close relationship when your 4 years apart

yeah we've gotten closer through the years but you know he's a guy im a girl its different

yeah I get that

okay well this is me you say pointing to your car

thank you for walking me

of course its no problem see you Tuesday

yep see you Tuesday goodnight mr.sturniolo

goodnight y/n and just so you know you can call me matt

okay well good night matt you say as you start to get in your car .

he starts walking the opposite way to where he's parked as you start your car up and head home .

... part 2 coming soon.

[stellawolfearts]

Tang (oh wow, someone who isnt nezha or macaque its a miracle :o), 😇, 👻, 🌟, 🖕 and 😶

OH I LOVE TANG! I dont talk about him much but i adore my headcanons for him. He's so squishable. like a stress toy.

😇 A headcanon about their religion/lack thereof

hmmm, im unsure about this one. cause in a world where gods litterally go into the mortal realm, Sun Wukong is a popular celebrity and magic stuff happens all the time in places where everyone can see. its a little hard for me to imagine anyone in LMK having a religion that deviates from the gods that we know already exist in this world.

I think tang tho, would have a specific god he worshipped. and while it is definitly a more popular one I think it's a good fit. I think Tang would have a Statue of Quanyin and has prayed to her, worshiped her, all that stuff. Just seem's fitting to me.

I can also see him being the one that convinced Pigsy to put a statue of her in his noodle shop.

👻 A headcanon about what scares them

Tang definitly isn't the bravest of the bunch, he gets overwhelmed by all the crazy magic stuff pretty easily. Especially when LMK stars.

I feel like Tang just has alot of anxiety in general. Sometimes its obvious, sometimes it's not.

In general I like to think he's got a handle on his anxiety until something happens and then he starts spiraling and then will obsess over what happened for the rest of the day. Mess up a lecture? (i hc him as a scholar/teacher) he's faceplanted into the table in Pigsy's shop. Completly mortified for the rest of the day. the only thing that gets him pulling his head back up is a bowl of noodles. and then Pigsy can convince him it wasn't that bad, the students likely didnt even notice and if they did they probably dont even care.

Then a worse fear i think he would have is being alone and being useless. Ending up not worth anything to anyone and being alone because of it. Yeah Tang deals with it in that one samadhi ring episode but fear's and worrys dont go away emmediatly. He might have grown to handle it better but it's not gone. Especially with everyone around him growing stronger by the day. there's a little voice in his head that's telling him he wont ever catch up to them all, that he will be left behind in thier wake.

which, of course isn't true. He tries his best not to give that fear any attention and after the samadhi ring episode he and Macaqe have it mostly works. but it's still there.

🌟 A headcanon about their desires/wishes

Peace and quiet for one week, without something Mk and Mei did that gave him a heart attack. It's alot worse now that they both got powers.

but on a more serious note I can see him dreaming of becoming a renowned scholar. Like, he's known at work for knowing WAY more then the average teacher should (he works at a university) so i can see him wanting to write a book with all his reaserch.

🖕 A headcanon relating to anger

Tang would get heated in an argument about the subject he specializes in. History of the Gods.

If someone tries to tell him he's wrong he will stare at them, adjust his glasses, and then tell them exactly why their wrong. If they keep fighting thats when Tang gets heated. He will pull out sources upon sources and tear down every single arguement that person has with ease.

Most of his angry outbursts comes from being anxious and overwhelmed.

Otherwise he's a nerd arguing over historical accuracies.

😶 A random headcanon!

I dont have alot of headcanons for Tang but im sure i can come up with something.

I think he would have a tumblr account. He would answer questions about the information of the gods the mortal realm has, I would think he's pretty fluent in english so even accounts from the west could read them. he'd post mainly in chinese but under the 'read more' application would be the english translation of what was said in the post.

not only that but he would have a main and a side account.

Main is reblogging stuff and being in fandom (you cannot convince me he wouldnt be in fandoms. he has older millennial vibes. so like. late 30's early 40's. so he would be a veteran in fandom spaces atp XD) I think he would like Heavens official blessing. He would probably enjoy Madoka magica and analyze its themes and details.

there would probably be more but i think in general he would enjoy stories with fantasy/magic settings and love it even more when those stories have deeper themes he can dissect.

hes definitly a fanfic writer in hiding. posts once every blue moon in a new fandom and drives said fandom mad

Side account is for sharing information on the gods that he has.

no one knows theres one person behind these two blogs and the ao3 account. theres no connection to each account and neither is there any connection to the real him.

man, Tang is so fun to write about

[tobiotaesan]

so uhmm.....a little rant because im sad and angry at the same time. i randomly woke up at 3am bcus i slept early yesterday and this was the first thing i saw when i did and now i cant go back to sleep. i wish i could just cry myself to sleep.

yesterday, i was so excited when i thought of how i could start writing for riize again. because in my older acc, i originally had planned a lot for future riize contents (au, smau etc). i was planning on making a banner or poster to announce that i will start writing for riize and even prepared a separate acc to post contents for riize and bnd in my native language.

because i thought, "finally, after 11 months of boycotting and waiting, we can all finally be happy with the assurance that he has returned."

i didnt know it all meant nothing to that shitty ass company and that it would only take 2 days of knetz "protest" after the announcement was all it would take.

im not undermining what they did, sending funeral flower wreaths demanding that ot6 is what they want for the group, thats freaking insane. absolute batshit crazy. but thats nothing compared to the airplane, subway ads, that floating jet thing with a banner flying around sment with seunghans banner, the i heart seunghan banner that locals mistaken for being a tourist photo spot, etc. 160+ projects for seunghan in the span pf 10-11 months compared to 2-3 days of flower wreaths, which btw sm apparently called the police for to get removed and allegedly was going to sue the ppl behind them.

and also because i do not want to invalidate seunghans feelings. we do not know if it really was him in that video. but clearly, those flower wreaths affected him greatly and im afraid that it may even have traumatised him. i fear this will make him forever anxious and scared of falling in love in the future. i fear that he will never look at flowers the same way ever again.

i have so many thoughts about the news and so many emotions going through me right now. but then i think about just how much harder this is for him and the members too. how much more painful all these are for them. im not sure but i saw someone say sohee was crying at the airport. the decision was made and posted when the members were on the plane back to korea. we dont know if they were informed beforehand or if they found out when they landed.

but regardless, i just think its so unfair for them because this time, with this decision of seunghan leaving. they were not consulted and honestly i think it is hastily made. im not blaming seunghan because tbh i think he made the decision to leave because he felt cornered or pressured by the reaction of knetz. i think sm couldve done more with reassuring and convincing him to stay with the group especially since it had only been barely 3 days since the announcement of his return.

when they said he was returning, they shouldve expected this because its their fault too that ot6 stans exist. had they done something to protect and defend seunghan this wouldnt have happened. so many artists have gone on hiatuses and fans waited and were happy with their return to activities. but because they were silent about seunghan, even tried to completely erased any traces of him in the group, it just pushed the narrative to the public (knetz) that they acknowledge that his leaked personal life and private photos from his pre febut days are indeed "wrong" and that he "shouldnt have done those things" like the knetz are saying.

to conclude this, sm is shit. and as an orbit, now is the best time to seriously boycott them if we really want to give justice to seunghan. this is honestly giving me serious flashbacks with what happened to chuu and loona and the fact that it happened around this time of the year too. the situation may be different but boycotts do work. and companies are all the same, lead by capitalists who do not give a fuck about their artists at all. they have the guts to create "global" groups and yet doesnt listen to the intl fans of the said "global group".

the only way to make them move is to harm their sales. unfollow all riize socmed accounts, ig, twt, fb, yt channel, unfollow their community in weverse!!

do not stream any of their music! especially with shit they will do like re-recording songs that seunghan is in (im looking at you siren 2024 ver). do not buy albums, lightsticks, any riize merch. you do not need those damn plushie keychains! you are funding sm ent to continue their shitty ass treatment and disrespect to the riize members and wizard production! you are validating their actions towards seunghan.

this is bigger than seunghan and riize. these companies need to understand that these idols are not products to be controlled, shamed and punished for having a life. that the intl fans is not like the knetz they are used to, knetz who are obssessive and would go to dangerous lengths to ruin someones life due to "cultural differences" with intl fans bcus "unlike the west artists, idols shouldnt have personal life". they need to know not to be complacent to the dangerous parasocial psychopathic behaviour of knetz.

so please, im being so serious right now, boycott sm. boycott riize.

[weirdcat1213]

another day another week ANOTHER FUCKING VOLUME-

okok lets relax

vol 11 thoughts

chap 1:

you know i barely remember this so it should be fun :D

-CHAPEL IDC IF THIS A FLASHBACK BUT THE TF OUT OF MY HOUSE

-"all he did was to shoot you in the spine" lmao elendira calling legato a baby is my favorite thing

-you know what girlie youre so right- oh a joke? damn it

-ily zazie, youre so cool

-VASH SLEEPING IN THE CAR :D

-oh hey brad is here

-ah NO NOT THE AFTERMATH MOMENTS NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

-brad, brad, honey....he knows

-why is my poor baby apologizing :c

-i mean brad's fears are valid and all but HE DOESNT KNOW AND WE KNOW AND VASH KNOWS AND ITS ALL JUST REALLY SAD

-GIVE MY MAN A BREAK LMAO XD

-also i can relate to livio here cuz rn my environment is too trusting and im so paranoid about security like yeah vash, i would never sleep in the back of a car of someone whom i just met you dumbass-

-shut up literally shut up

-fair

-Ion Blaster TM time :3

-final phase you say-

-oh....oh no. vash, this is gonna be one of those moments where you sigh and curse knives for being kinda right

-oh he angy xd

-OHH RIGHT YEAH

-yeap...they are fucked atm

-OMG ITS THEM THEYRE COMING YIPPYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY :D

chap 2

-THEYRE ALMOST HEREEEEE

-catch me being that guy when the end comes (just a dude in a coat with a hat playing music, thats gonna be me)

-oh god no, the worst and most boring thing you could do is to label knives as a terrorist. the guy is so much more and that word just doesnt fit him

-yes thank you! no time for nonsense

-THERE SHE IS HEY GIRLLLLL ITS BEEN SO LONG, TOO LONG, YOU LOOK SO PRETTY :3

-MILLY MY BELOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED

-when was the last time we saw them? 2 volumes ago?

-"i would never would have imagined this. that the world could change so fast" and that goes on the list of "timeless trigun things" or TTT for short

-:c

-wait so...transphobe guy? get yeeted

-oh...oh i didnt remember...oh i will cry

-ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh the reunioooooooooon

-look at their fucking faces, they missed each other so much

-tbh if i met the most jesus-allegory guy ever, then lost trail of where or how he was for 2 volumes of a manga ,to find him later in the middle of a silly fight i would also cry

-that scene with the pieces of earth announcement makes me kinda sad, no one will come for us

-geesus christ

-ohhh kinda pretty tho, looks like a phoenix

chap 3:

-"its all happening so fast" yeah sorry dude, its a trigun tradition

-HE LOOKS SO HAPPY, HIS DUTY (according to him) OF PROTECTING THE PEOPLE IS ALMOST DONE

-"do you want me to come along?" he would be the best person to go to public places when you are too anxious to talk to strangers

- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DONT ASK PLS NO

-livio honey what was the idea here "oh you guys seem like you liked him. i actually killed him. well not me but also me. im sorry"

-milly my girl is cursed to be the 1st and og wolfwood stan in any version. we feel your pain girl

-LMAO THE NOTE ABOUT ZAZIE XD

-AWWWWWWWWWWWWW :3 A BAG OF LITTLE THINGSSS

-NOT VASH CARRYING FIGURINES AROUND, HES LIKE ME FR FR WITH MY KEYCHAINS

-also ofc he has rare figurines, the man has had enough time to look for it lmao

-ok but imagine if vash actually had lost the coins xd

-the pressure and guilt livio must feel rn. his brother died trying to protect him and he has the official Vash Thinks Youre Cool stamp. he has to change cuz if he doesnt he would throw all of that away and really stop being human

-you did good brad

-"must be lonely" im eating my own arm

-oh im really crying over this, ok, fun

-i also dont know what to do vash the stampede but im begging you to ASK FOR HELP YOU MFFFFFFFFFF

-AH SHIT ZAZIE NO

-AH FUCK ITS HIM

chap 4:

-july 20th? ah great, july 20th-21st is cursed here too

-rad as hell as always

-huh, i expected knives to just yeet them on sight

-i would say him and humans are pretty much alike but ok, sure,hm

-i love her being suspicious of legato 1st xd

-i wonder how can this go wrong, seems like a solid plan

-oh right...him

-YEAH GO GET HIM >:3

-oh...oh thats so cool. like his body doesnt work...but he controls it...but not in the same way a human would...wow

-OH BEAUTIFUL EYE HOLY SHIT THATS BEAUTIFUL

-GATE CONSUMING STUFF YOU SAY.....HMMMMM I WONDER WHERE I SAW THE SAME TRIGUN CONCEPT-

(side note: "you still dont know how to control your gate" SO THATS HOW IT LOOKS WHEN YOU CONTROL IT? IT ONLY CONSUMES/CREATE WHAT YOU WANT?? ORANGEEE)

-MAGIC BULLETSSSSSS

-LMAO THE HOLE XD

-vash you cant say shit about silly haircuts im sorry

-also "new hair new outlook"...........i will curl myself into the moon

-they forgor

-who are you

-also ngl i never got the idea of what the coins did so lets find out

chap 5:

-SHES FUCKING HERE REJOICEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

-wait wdym neural blocking programs

-LMAO XD

-LIVIO IS SO SCARED AND WITH REASON

-just the two of us :3

-i love his game face and then its just "ugh i cant do this" xd

-"fight vash the stampede fight" me cheering vash on in stampede

-vash i love you but you cant call my wife a bitch, thats not polite

-oh livio, oh i didnt get to appreciate you too much on my 1st read but come here man, come here. youre doing great

-they have officially trauma bonded :3 (ik thats a terrible oversimplification but leave me alone)

-"is it possible for something created by humans to completely break away from their creators?" yes next question

-OH NO IS THIS THE VOLUME WITH *THAT SCENE*?

-"you really have become a crybaby" and im glad cuz she was always so serious with her job and all, now she can express her feelings more

-STOPPPP THIS ALWAYS GETS ME CUZ AHHHHHH STOP

-AH NAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH :C

-...........and thats story is technically stampede but anyway jajajajaja :D

-the prettiest eyes

-FUNNY ENOUGH HE DOES LOOK LIKE A BUG

-OH ITS TIME ITS FUCKING TIME HOLY SHIT

chap 6:

-the title :c

-liviooooooo :c

-HEY! my boi can still kick your ass >:[

-DONT YOU EVEN *DARE*

-just leave him out of this pls

-i love that he still considers himself human <3 i want to think wolfwood taught him that indirectly

-FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

-I MEAN YES YOURE RIGHT BUT CAN YOU NOT???

-huh, the silhouette kinda looks like wolfwo- *gunshot*

-i love knowing exacty what livio is thinking rn

-aww :3

-liviooooooooooo :c

-his cowboy era is about to start im so proud of him :')

[the1975attheirverybest]

Hi!! Just want to share a hard time i've gone through this last month and I think only another the 1975 fan can understand (maybe).

I have to explain that I'm really really into music since as a little child, been through my emo fase and all hahaha. So I'm always that friend that people see as kind of a reference about music, you know? And the thing I like the most is going to shows. It always seemed to me the most wonderful experiece. I have severe FOMO when I can't go to a show of some artist I like.

I had to give this context cause I became a 1975 fan after the whole TS thing on tiktok. It felt very weird that I didnt listen to them before, because they are the kind of artist I tend to like.

The fact that I didn't know them before this made me feel so bad, like I was some kind of fraud? How could I miss this?? And so I found out they had come to my country several times, actuallly they came here this year!! And it gets worse! They played at Lollapalooza in my country several times and on days I was there and I didn't know them, so I didn't watch their show.

It made me so, so sad and anxious, I had to talk tô my psychiayrist about this hahaha I know It sounds soo silly but the FOMO is so real to me. Plus I was on vacation, so I didn't have much to do and my days were basicly listening to them, watching interviews and being here on Tumblr talking to you and another fan accounts.

My husband is the only one I can talk to about this but since he isn't into music he doesn't understand me haha. And I am ashamed to talk to my friends about it and they say something like "you just heard about this band, how can you feel like this?".

Sorry about the long text, I just wanted to get this out of my chest and I wonder If anyone been through something similar, so I don't feel like a crazy 12yo even though I'm 30yo hahaha.

no no no I can TOOOTTTAAALLLYYY understand. and as bad as you feel, its completely normal. But i have 3 things( maybe 4, idk, lets see where i go with this) to tell you:

When I first found the band my first reaction was THIS IS THE BEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD. immediately followed by "im so sad I missed two album drops with this band. all that time i felt weird and out of place and like i had no way of expressing myself, this shit has been under my nose all along and i missed it???" I was so upset. Cuz, like you, I love music. And im not afraid of mixing it up either. Like I listen to Hank Williams, Bob Dylan, Beyonce, The Beatles, Miley Cyrus, Talking Heads, AM, 1975, you name it. and im pretty snobby about it. like its "my thing" that keeps me sane. AND my academic specialties being philosophy and literature, its basically the crossover of my dreams, this band.

When I first got into them, I kept asking around to see if any of my friends had already been fans. Nope. Then I remembered Matty's "we're the biggest band that you've never heard of." which is sooo true. they have such a strong following, but it's mostly fans. no casual listeners who sort of know them and know his but couldn't name the drummer or couldn't name an album. you know what I mean? they're a very specific case.

MATTY TIMOTHY HEALY. THEEEE MATTY HEALY! who's knowledge of music rivals my own didn't know The Mountain Goats existed until Feb. 2023. that SHOCKED ME TO MY VERY CORE. They're very much up his alley too like how come????? these things happen! the 1975 are your mountain goats. and thats okay!

Rob Sheffield (terrific music journalist who writes for rolling stone) once said "the music will find you when the time is right" like sometimes if you force yourself to sit down and really listen to Leonard Cohen, you might just be like "meh. i dont see the appeal. not for me," But one random day, years later, after you've gone through some experiences or expanded your musical palette or whatever, you might encounter him again, totally accidentally, and it'll allllll make sense. It'll find you when you need it. The 1975 found you at the right time. And now you have them in your life. if you'd been forced to listen to them years ago maybe you would've been like "nope. not for me," and then kept that impression of them so that any time you encountered them you'd have brush it off like "ooh yeah. tried them. not that great. no thanks." so its better that you waited.

WELCOME TO THE FANDOM. SOO SOOOO GLAD YOU'RE HERE. AT LEAST SOMETHING GOOD CAME OUT OF THE WHOLE TS THING!

[ahaura]

yellowjackets s2e4 lb

WHAT IS GOING ON i dont remember that clip from the last ep but it's fine

taissa repressed/separated the part of herself so much that its turned into a completely Other Self

DID HER SLEEPWALKING TAKE HER TO VAN?

is it just me or is it simply the link im using or does the themesong sound... more sinister...?

apex predator (survivalist cannibal) shauna shipman is HERE

once again... a comedy<3

FRODO AND MISTY BESTIE TIME?

"it's pretty rare for a friend to so relentlessly have your back" ok so i have theories. 1) he actually is just a weirdo who is also on misty's wavelength 2) fed 3) cult member (unlikely) 4) forest-sent (unlikely but it'd be interesting)

i REALLY want misty to have a fellow morally dubious and hilarious bestest best friend but i ALSO know that we are in a tv show where things have to happen. so. im enjoying it while i can.

IS IT STARTING? ARE THEY FINALLY TURNING ON COACH BEN BECAUSE HE DID NOT PARTAKE IN THE RITUALISTIC FOREST-INDUCED CANNIBALISM EVENT OF EATING JACKIE'S CORPSE? LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOO

"a contest" oh boy

its happeninggggg the splintering the division fairytale vs "logic" putting saint lottie of new jersey on the spot lets GO

cult convo in the carrrrr

every time a character takes their eyes off the road when theyre drying i think of that one time when frodo says "get off the road!" in fotr except it's "keep your eyes on the road" <3

oh lottie....

lottie speaks and all i hear is therapy voice like she DOES know what to say and how to think about things but only in the way that does not threaten the frame of mind she was forced into likeeeee god there's a lottie underneath it all just like there's a shauna underneath it all under the layers of bullshit and time they're still under there lottie pleeeeaaaase

THE RITUAL OF PREPARATION.... I NEED A MINUTE...

is that snow in the line of lottie's scar.... like the snow in the carving on the tree...

also tho if u think about it i DO get it like nat refusing to take the blessing bec she thinks its stupid and it doesnt work and the others believing that it means shes not doing EVERYTHING she can to feed them i get that i can see it...

"im a millionaire its on youtube" JASDSDKSAJFKDS?????

shes touching the mouse... if you hear yelling in the distance thats my mom saying "mice carrie DISEASES"

lottie getting tetanus so the group can eat... <3

NAT IS SO FUNNYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

LISAAAAAAAAA

oh lisa...

ok i do want to say. first and foremost. it is entirely possible do feel numb when they got on medication and im not going to discount that. HOWEVER. in my PERSONAL experience with depression, therapy, and medication... a lot of the times that "numb" is experiencing "stable" like you're not feeling the super highs and super lows anymore you've tapered off and entered a more... normal? ??? range of emotions im getting sleepy so i cant remember the name of it but my therapist has described tolerance and vibrations and whatever and when youre in a Downtrend you are depressed but when you're Activated (angry, worried, anxious, etc.) you're Doing things and the goal is not to seesaw as much so violently into both ends but find a safe middle ground where you're supposed to be able to manage ur emotions well. idk what's going on w lisa i cant speak to her specifics or anything but like . im fairly sure that the idea that medication "numbs" you and turns you into a zombie is not as common as media portrays? if not entirely misrepresented or a misconception? i could be totally wrong in that and am only speaking from personal experience so take that as you will

DID SHAUNA REALLY JUST ADMIT TO KILLING ADAM TO HER KID? THE SAME KID WHO SNITCHED ON HER? LMAOOOOOOOOOOO WE'VE STARTED THE COUNTDOWN BABEYYYYYY (maybe) (we'll havet o see)

"hes not a bad person hes just a bad criminal" LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RIP JEFF FOUND DEAD IN NEW JERSEY

"i promise i wont tell anyone my mom murdered someone" im sure this will have no future ramfications atall <3 ever <3

oh im a fan of lisa its official im not letting her go.

NAT GOING OFF ON LISA'S MOM LET'S GO LET'S FUCKIN GGO

NAT PUT THE FISH IN HER MOUTH TO STEAL IT FROM THE MOM AND GAVE IT BACK TO LISA IM SCREEECHINGGGGG SHES CRAZYYYYYYY

mari caring more about the rules of the game more than not starving... eye see... also the moose may be a false hope/trap set by the forest but who knows<3

A PLANE? THE PLANE?

LEONARD????? THE BEAR??????

IS IT A VISION OR??????

GIRL SOMETHING IS WRONG!

GIRL WTF

WTF

WTF

WTF

is this the woods telling nat she should have taken the blessing...

jeff is right one (1) time youre really NOT supposed to let your kid know you killed people

im fairly certain thats not how youre supposed to treat hypothermia but what do i know. and what do they know too for that matter

lotttieeee...

WHOO---?

JAVI????????????????????????

VAN!!!!!!

well that was fun. i hope i can get some caps out of this ep if i can get around 2 it.<3

[sapokanivan]

first i need to spend a year being single and figuring myself out

maybe ill spend the rest of my life single after that

learning how to love being alone and unlearn a desire to be saved or fixed by anyone because i don't need to be

fighting my negative thoughts about myself

working on my mental health issues while i have the time

doing everything i wanted to do my entire life and while i was in a committed relationship

mentally i feel banned from NB right now

once i am ready to start my career and get into a serious relationship and live in park slope and after i give my dreams my best try and whatever

i would prefer to pursue the person i end up with

i regret being a bad gf and constantly thinking our relationship was wrong and it needed to end but i mustve thought that for a reason yeah?

i would love to feel secure in a relationship, because in a way i did feel secure and comfortable but then again i also didnt, i dont want that didnt again

i just want to click with someone again but have it not make me anxious, have it make me a better person as we continue our relationship, i really loved being in love even though it was a fucked up situation and i became a shell of myself with him.. and i felt like i was wasting my life acting married

UGH SENIOR YEAR, its fine, he commutes its fine!

he DOESNT MATTER steph, please please please get better and MOVE ON

i wish i could just be over it and how everything went down already.. be happy for the 302/173 memories but not want to live in them

for two years i wasn't able to get past his baggage and thats what scares me, but i think him not being in life at all will also help speed along the process, also i never ever want to live like that again and now i know that

i can't say i wasted my college years, i did a lot more than a lot of pathetic people on reddit, i also got to have a lot of good loving relationship sex while i was hot and young!

i would also love to decenter romantic relationships and care about myself my life my friends and my hobbies more.. ugh its my dream

my life has changed SO much

april steph would be terrified LMAO her life was filled with comfort

you need new connections

i know you, you only miss the comfort and safety and connection, that also made you sick bc you knew you were settling for a middlesex county life and guy that was beneath you! and him setting you free is forcing you to take life by the balls even though its fucking scary and youre terrified of never making any new friends and connections

i want to be with someone who cooks for me and gives me massages and doesn't lovebomb and future fake me weeks after we start dating and isnt weird about so many things but is also so open and communicative and understanding not defensive and filled with false broad promises

i learned so so so much but im still hurting so bad living at home but i also think moments like these when it seems like everyones life is going better than you can make you ever happier and grateful in the long run when good things happen!!!

[capcomgrl]

been so upset recently

arguing w boyfriend

fatter than ever

Just having a hard time finding any moment of relaxation or peace. There is no relief. Got fucked over at my job and now i’m struggling to pay any bills. Always on edge. Anxiety medication makes me drowsy into the next day. Can’t sleep if me and bf are arguing. We argued because i got slightly triggered in the car, I’m sensitive to gore and he was pretending to cut my thigh with his fingers and staple me. Ive asked him not too before. I had an interview earlier so i was a little high strung. I got upset & asked him to just say a quick sorry, bc he got super quiet. And thats how we stayed for 30 mins. He told me he gets frustrated and doesnt like feeling like he has to always apologize for something. That it happens too much. He still didnt say sorry, only when I asked twice. And then I comforted him instead of him comforting me. Then I had to go to work. I’m currently a server and that has been another hell in itself. I’m just super nervous and anxious but thats how ive been all the time recently. Theres never something to not be freaking out about. If im happy I cant be because im fucking fat and ugly. Why has this always been my life man. I didn’t ask for these things to happen that led me here and made me have these vicious emotions and thoughts. I think about dying a lot. I had a psychologist tell me he thinks I’m schizotypal. Fuck man I’m just weird but not in the cute way. Not in the still lovable way. Different but interesting. i'm awful. i have a hard time talking to anyone. and its getting worse as I get older. i just want it to stop. trying to fix these problems i have just made it easier to gain all my weight back. i got even fatter when i went inpatient for my overeating. its been two years and I have only lost 10 lbs. i just dont wanna be fat anymore i hate using food for comfort or food to cope for me. i hate always having to have some kind of noise playing because I cant just be alone and do one thing silently. i cant read i cant draw. i feel my fat cushioning everywhere around me every time i move. my bf is stressed bc he is having to pay for all of the bills. ive never been job insecure but of course when i finally move out of my moldy health hazard house my job starts giving me 5 hrs a week. i couldnt believe it. i cant just be happy. im always causing a problem or starting something or just not happy enough. i cant even be alone with myself. i'll k myself I hate myself. its not getting better for me its only getting worse. i just want to be able to function the way most people can. he will be home soon and he'll notice im not as energetic or happy. he'll want to talk about it but not really. he'll want me to make him feel better about me feeling upset. i cant do it right now. whats wrong with me. i cant shower but my problems with cleanliness are getting worse. i cant get in my bed or wear my pajamas if im not showered even if its only been a day. i do my best it never takes more than 10 minutes but it feels awful. to look at me and to remember what that fuck ass counselor told me about my showering. that it only makes sense why i avoid the shower. why did she have to make that connection for me. i think about it every time i shower. i feel crazy. i feel like it will never go away. it gets harder to deal with. i will start school soon and i am excited for that. and i have a very sweet cat. and my partner and i do have our good moments. i just wish I could make everything fit together better.

[grossillygirl]

Just gonna vent this here, genuinely like you a lot, i see your posts and interactions but i don't think it's healthy for me to continue like this.

I think you're amazing but feel like I'm longing for your attention or to give you everything you could possibly want but all I'm doing is craving something... a friendship that i don't that i don't think will ever happen.

I see you have posts about people you chat with share things about and later say it's just random people and for me you're not just some random girl.

You're someone i would like to at the very least be good friends with and I think i feel better saying it here like this than off annon since it's now I feel you see me.

Just know with everything that you have going on good or bad you did had someone always trying to reach out and it was for a genuine connection.

All the best

- random person on the internet who likes you a lot and wanted to be friends

I'm sorry :( I appreciate that you were seeking a genuine connection and friendship with me but i feel like my blog does make it pretty clear that im emotionally unstable & unavailable?? And i dont think theres many ppl off here who I've formed genuine friendships with. Like genuinely a handful. I try my best to not like lead someone on to think ill be able to be a good friend to anyone new. Because I cant. So i dont appreciate this kind of ask which seems like its made to make me feel bad for you/ bad for my behaviour?

Idk like not many ppl on here genuinely expect friendship from me either, i feel like most ppl see my anxious stressed vents and rants and can understand that im not reliable right mow in that way😭 and thats not to be self depreciating either, i would never expect that from someone else going through whay im going through or anything similar. I prefer to give space but also make it clear im here for them & maybe occasional check ups.

Also did i call you a random person on one of my posts on here and you took offense to that? If so I truly apologise for that and I'll be more careful with my posts here on out.

[midnighteloquence]

i just wanna talk

uh minor (MINORS!!!!!!!!) vent because im thinking

(mention of sui, sh, purg1ng, etc)

i actually dont know what to feel anymore. i dont really feel much these days except for pure, unbridled sadness. i can feel excited over my interests, but that excitement doesnt really last long till im just nothing again.

ive been getting more frequent stomach aches. not a stomach bug i mean the anxiety stomach aches. theyre here right now actually. ive just been super anxious and on edge recently, and i dont know how to stop the ever growing pit in my stomach. it grows every time i enter a room, when i have to present something infront of my classmates, when someone talks to me, when i text people, when im alone, when im with people. its everywhere and i dont like it.

earlier this term i avoided people because i was just so tired and empty. i hoped that it would somehow make me feel better, if i avoid the person who did me wrong. it really didnt. i didnt give them a satisfactory answer whenever they playfully insulted me because i could not bare to have them insult me one more fucking time. you know what happened? they started saying “ok.” to me saying literally fucking anything. i said “ok” to you dryly because you pissed me off, but if im talking about my interests casually thats nothing to be pissed off about.

i apologised to them for distancing myself (even though i was trying to fix my mental health) and told them i would talk to them more even though i dont like them anymore. the next day they sent a paragraph talking about how i wasnt really “proving myself” and that “they waited for me to talk to them instead of them starting the rare conversations we have” which actually killed me a bit. thats over exaggerating but im trying my fucking hardest to try and be your friend but my best isnt worthy enough. and also when have you ever put any effort into what im saying? like actually if i talk about my interests you say shit like “thats crazy” in a disinterested tone. i may be autistic but i can still pick up that you do not fucking care for a word i say. i actually pay attention, and you tell me im not proving myself to you? im sorry i started ranting haha

i think my crush started hating me. and this is a super common thing with all of my crushes for some reason. i just cant get them to not think im annoying. i just get so attached to them and the thought of being with them that they just stop liking me. and then i pick up on this and ask them constantly if they like me. he barely texts me anymore, his texts are super dry, its so obvious he doesnt want to talk to me. i started leaving him on read, just hoping he’ll start liking me again. thats probably super immature and slightly mentally unstable of me but idk im sorry

i stopped thinking about my future because i dont think i see one. i spent all week tired, crying in the school bathrooms, crying in my own bathroom, or crying in my room. i post constantly about killing myself or cvtting myself or purging because at this point i do not care what happens to me. my friend might be moving, my other friend im so fucking tired of, my other other friend is probably tired of me, the rest of the friendgroup probably wouldnt care less about me, i havent been the daughter i couldve been to my parents, im distant towards my brother, my crush lives far away anyways and probably doesnt like me anymore. it just seems like nothings really worth it. how likely is it that i get into a good university and get a good job? i dont even know what i want to do with my life past 18. the clubs i joined are just exhausting to go to now, im making no progress in my language learning, i get average scores in my tests, the only two hobbies i have i barely do anymore. its just so nothing

i have no dreams or aspirations, i have no hope for the future of not only me, this whole world. it will take me a hot 48 hours to think of a thing i wanna pursue. no one wants to be in a relationship with me. im pretty but not pretty enough for people to like me, and even if someone’s attracted to me, theres still my personality. its nothing special, plus just a bunch of red flags like jealousy, attachment, being distant, being sensitive, the list can go on. im just nothing really, i feel nothing, my personality is nothing, my looks are nothing, im nothing.

idk what else to say so bye :0) (clown)

[dumbbitchfrommars]

should i be getting rid of his stuff?? somehow i feel his energy is around me if i keep it. i can feel his presence all the time. like im lowkey obsessing over the thought/idea of him. its understandable and im not upset over it, he was genuinely the best i ever had. ive said this multiple times now. its not a huge deal, cause its only up from here. and he wont be the best forever. but like its a shift. a positive shift in my standards for men.

ive always said i need to experience things to really learn and the consequence of a mistake leaves me with the gift of wisdom and knowledge. so ill never regret it. but yeah... im done. so i should probably get rid of his stuff?

its crazy how much energy can stick. its literally like something is compelling me to attach to him. something so addictive and hard to resist? like almost like magic? its strange. i only knew this man so briefly and im completely sucked in. like no one ive ever experienced before.

maybe its BECAUSE it was so brief that im so addicted? it was so long ago but i cant forget. everything is so incredibly vivid in my memory. it was so exciting, like being with him was so magnetic and our energies literally bounced off eachother. like what? was that lovebombing ? it felt so real and unlike something ive had with someone.... actually, i did with my ex. i think something like it. could it be something in me changed? no. he brought that side out in me. but not many guys can...

hmm. im starting to rethink ghosting him so soon. but he was ignoring me for days! no. hes not the idea you have of him. he switched up. no grown man does that to a girl he cares about. also, hes all of 24 and doesnt know that being that kind of guy is so fucking cringe and going to leave you single for longer??? but then i come back around to my main, anxious, pointless idea - maybe he never intended to be in a relationship, and had some desire to know (insecure?) that i WOULD be in a relationship with him, and after achieving getting me to come around - manipulating me? playing me - just lost interest? textbook time waster. and then that brings me to the idea that what kind of person finds satisfaction in that? like how mentally ill can you be?? then i feel bad for him. cause thats so sad...

im literally so happy and abundant and radiant on my own, that i think guys think using their usual tactics and playing games somehow works in claiming that energy for themself. the reality is, they'll feel it for a split second, and once i leave, theyll never forget how they fumbled the most authentic person theyll probably ever meet or have the privilege of knowing. you cant steal my personality and my energy for yourself. i am smarter than that now. i know im an earth angel and my energy is so precious for the people who do matter.

you hurt me but youre only helping me in calling in the next lesson in for my growth.

okay i went on a stoned tangent there.

another interesting thing about this situation is the typical flashbacks to my ex that i get after a failed relationship. its really unlikely hed still have the exact same personality as the guy i dated, but the way we connected at the time still feels very profound and unlike any relationship i have had since. like pivotal in my development.

my heart was fully open and i was all in with him. and he was with me. like... thats crazy. and the way we'd be playful with eachother... it was amazing.

and then i meet this guy, and in one hour he has established that comfortable, flirty, playful banter between us so authentically. and by the next morning he made me feel comfortable enough to do the most crazy things in bed with him. reading that back sounds like a red flag. i dont know. it was fun.

maybe i need to consider why the fuck i am so attracted to toxicity, if that is the case and i just happened to ignore a billion red flags. i need to debrief with chloe to find out if this is true.

its not a redflag! it was fun. it was everything i needed it to be. it was everything that happened after we separated that was the red flag. im kind of just glad he was normal while we were together so i could enjoy the fun of it.

this has been a riveting, worthwhile experience.

one of my core memories is watching a late night movie as a child on a random channel where a writer was cheating on her husband with another married couple where there was a specific scene of the other man upset at her because writers care about experiences/their writing more than other people.

ever since that day... i feel like thats been central in my life. i really just was to be confident and comfortable in myself enough to do anything that will thicken the plot, or give me more understanding about life. any crazy thing. any rebellious thing. anything that might be disapproved of. because i can.

i did it because i could and it was a once in a lifetime opportunity. and it ended up being a once in a lifetime experience. and im glad it gets to stay perfect in its little bubble of one random weekend at the end of spring...

anyways. fucking hell girl. GIRL , MOVE ON!!!! in my sassy mans words, move on.

[abvfluxing]

Several months ago i told my roommate i wasnt interested in looking at a new place to live, bcus at the time i figured there was a good chance i wouldnt still be living in ohio in the next several months to year. (I never told her why i didnt want to look at new places thankfully). Bcus i thot things were going to keep moving in a positive way with him. Very stupid of me.

I waited 6 months on two things. "Idk how I feel " and "we will meet in person". 6 fucking months of waiting patiently.

And when i finally bring up the first thing i get "well i don't think i feel that way... but who knows what the future holds". Wtf. half a year and you still cant say it decisively. I tried so hard to take that as a definitive response and move on, but it wasnt and i couldnt. Bcus im an idiot.

After the first cancelled meeting i waited. Then a second cancelled meeting. And he says "well im not going out of my way looking to pick up trips to go that way, itll happen when it happens". I keep waiting. One day i try to sincerely explain how much its hurting me to wait to meet like this, and how much I want to take the initiative and plan a trip to his city. And how worried i am about the whole "flight school" on the horizon since its going to most likely alter his schedule in such a way that him and i will have so little free time at the same time. And how that scares me bcus it feels like the first step to losing him completely. And this is another reason im pushing to make a meeting happen.

So Making it very very clear that i only would want for one small simple meeting, like a lunch, and that if thats all i got with him that would be enough bcus i also just really want to travel somewhere and see things jve never seen and that taking a plane by myself is a very scary thing, but if im going somehwere where i know a friend is on the otherside it gives me the strength to do something so extreme for myself, i mean im someone that gets stressed and anxious just trying to go to a store or run errands. He says "no, i cant guarantee it would work out to meet, and i dont want you to spend all that money and be disappointed" also "im not out to my family so itd be comllicated to have you over as anything other than a friend". First of all, im not even allowed to try and make something happen. 2nd with weeks ahead of time anybody can plan for a single lunch to happen once out of 2 or 3 days possible. 3rd it must not matter how important it is to me, to be able to try and do something like this, how little i expect how little commitment im asking for it, how unobtrusive im trying to be but also experience something. It doesnt matter. 4th, what the fuck is that second excuse coming from? I didnt ask to meet your family, i didnt ask to come over to a family dinner and ve introduced as your boyfriend. How is that a concern when ive made it clear none of that is expected? (Well stupid ass me thinks only someone thinking of doing those things would randomly bring them up when they were not previously stated). 5thly, if you had a job that would literally PAY you to go and visit your alleged "best friend" ... wouldnt you kinda fucking want to do that? Wouldnt that be cool as shit? If i could get paid to visit some of my friends, i think maybe i might try and make that happen every once in a while. So he wont take a paid trip to see me, and im not allowed to pay for my own trip to him. Kinda really sounds like "i dont want to meet you". Only took this dumbass about 8 months to realize that one.

The last couple of weeks ive been trying to act "normal ". Im not messaging him everyday, even tho i want to. And it fucking hurts me. And idk how he feels about it, or if hes even noticed. Not like he would ever really tell me the truth anyway. So im an idiot and an asshole.

I can't even get him to say something as simple as "i want to spend time with you" i tried so hard one night to see if he could even say that much, it didnt work. Bcus im an idiot.

We had two big fights recently too. The one everyone could see where he made it clear he thinks im stupid as shit. And then a second one a few days later while in a discord call. He was upsetting me so much i had to hang up on him before i blew a gasket. Then i explained to him why i got so upset and his response was "wow you got upset over someone elses opinions". He was going to let the night end like that. Soni explained further why I was so upset. And he said something like "ok". And i had to be like "do i even get an apology?" (After i had already apologized for hanging up and getting upset, earlier in the convo). And only then did he finally give a half assed barely covering the problem apology. But I took it and rejoined the call after calming down a bit more. Once again i was being stupid and an ass.

Ever since those two fights i feel like i get treated like shit all the time. Like he is mad at me about stuff but cant even remotely bring it up outside of treating me like shit. But then the one day he streams its all "this is the game brad recommended for me, he knows me so well" blah blah blah. And weirdly nice replies sometimes. Like clearly something is up. But more likely im just an idiot.

He was trying to talk to me the other day, just a couple days after my "worst day" of the very very bad past two weeks. I told him "sorry i havent been feeling well". Him "oh are you sick. Me "well not like cough cough sick". Him " then what is it?". Me "its hard to say out loud". Him "oh ok".

And that was it. No reassurance, no "im here", no "i understand but you can talk to me if itd help". Nothing. Is that really how someone responds to their "best friend" clearly not being well? Its hard for me to tell bcus im so stupid.

And then the announcement earlier. Came with no warning to me. Last i heard he hadnt heard back from any places. And hours before he posted that he asked what I was doing, and i was playing totk amd watching gdq with the roommate. Not really a good time for him and i to play a game together that would take the main tv in the living room. So he said ok have fun. And i said "if you want to hang out in a call thatd be cool". Him "well id have to go in the other room, ill just stay in the living its more comfortable". Me "ok well lmk if you figure out how to use discord in the living room and id be down to hang out". Him "id either have to wear headphones and not hear the game or put you on speaker and youd hear my game. Which is so annoying". Me "i normally use headphone and just leave one ear uncovered to hear the game. Also so when my games have been too loud". Him "its mostly my friend nate 'blah blah blah" convo ends. And a couple hours later we get that announcement.

Hes got his next two months planned out basically. One month of "working back to back" which contains two weeks off, one of which an international vacation! Lmao. Followed by starting school the next month. two weeks before my birthday! How perfect! I messaged him and told him im happy to hear that he finally heard back from a place. And that im happy for him. But im also so fucking pissed. Ive told him how this school thing coming worries me, and he makes a group post instead of telling his "best friend" first. Isnt that fucked up? Once again im being treated like shit. And hes able to have two weeks off in june, including an 8 day international vacation. But i get "ill try to stream for those other days". Somebody you said "we will meet eventually" and you cant make room for me after all this time before turning your whole lifes schedule around making it so you know we wont be able to hang out anymore. So clearly im a huge fucking asshole for having such selfish fucking thots when all i should have thot was "oh yay good for you!". But hey thats what you get when your a stupid worthless ashole am i right? 😆 😂 😆 😂 😆 😂 😆 😂 😆 😂 😆 😂 😆 😂 😆

[svquence]

⋆ ★ “18, what a nightmare”

✿ pairing! quantum jumper!yang jungwon x reader ✿ genre! sci-fi (?) ✿ wc! 1.4k ✿ warnings! kinda angsty, happy ending, one curse word lmao, this is a mess

❀ A/N! i added limits to quantum jumping for the sake of the fic. this is pure fiction! therefore don’t take this as how quantum jumping really works. almost everything said here is just for the effect of the fic. Once again im a new writer so bare with me. Love u guys!

———————————————————————

If there was one thing Jungwon could’ve changed, it would’ve been his life purpose. Oh, how he wishes he could’ve been just a normal guy, one that could finish education, engage in things he enjoys, maybe even find a lover that he could spend the rest of his days with. Yet, Jungwon was not able to get that. The young man he wished to be, wasn’t in his reach.

His purpose was to travel in between realities, explore the bigger part of the universe and find answers to what the higher beings wished to know. Tho, Jungwon never knew why he was the one chosen to do this, but he had no choice but to obey and no chance of changing his mission.

The red haired boy’s life started when he was born in Korea, thinking he was meant to live a normal life just like the people around him, yet it wasn’t like that, and it would never be like that. From a child who everyone thought had an incredible imagination, to a young man with a mission, therefore being a quantum jumper. All of his life, Jungwon had vivid dreams every night of things he couldn’t even understand, he sometimes found himself in places that he couldn’t even explain, but no one understood him when he came back. No one believed him, thus the young boy was always viewed as just an adorable imaginative child. Eventually, he had to give up trying to explain his situation, which made everything harder.

It was never his choice for his life to play like this. If there was one thing he regretted most, tho, it was meeting you. But at the same time, it was one of the best things that could’ve happened to him. Being childhood friends, ever since you talked to him in primary school, to growing up having a crush on you. If he knew that this was his fate, he would’ve never made plans for your guys’ future, never gotten attached to you, or even talked to you. But he did all of those things and regret is now suffocating him.

The poor boy didn’t even have any idea of what was waiting for him. Thats how he found himself in his bed, right before his 18th birthday, planning how his birthday would go and how he would confess his feelings to you. He was so ready, equally happy and excited as well. Little did he know that in that night, he would cut ties with this reality for way too long. Longer than he wanted to. As he fell asleep, he imagined himself being with you. Of course he did, because you too felt the same way. You both showed it, its just that one had to take a step forward and that would’ve been him. But now, he couldn’t. He wasn’t aware of it, at least.

When he found himself in yet another inexplicable place, he was less than not phased, because this has been going on forever. One thing he didn’t know, was that this time, he wasn’t going back.

As he saw how much time has passed without him going back, he was confused and especially anxious. Was he going to lose his birthday? His confession? He couldn’t. Even if his body was still there, doing everything he planned to do, he wanted to be there. He wanted to feel it.

He kept thinking that he needs to wake up, he was trying his hardest to pull his awareness back to his body, but that was until an unknown energy, yet with a bright and positive aura came to his current body and talked to him in the sweetest yet saddest tone he ever heard. “Please stop trying, Jungwon. You have a mission to finish. Going back isn’t a choice yet” He was confused, but he was more shocked than anything. The moment this being of light stopped sharing its message, he looked back at it and screamed as he felt tons of emotions at once “What the fuck is going on? Why can’t i go back? WHAT mission?” he spilled out as tears swelled up in his eyes. He could feel that this energy was protective, hence he immediately calmed down after shouting at it out of anger. He felt in a way, calm. “You’ll find out, for now i can’t give you any answers, but i will guide you the best i can. Good luck, Jungwon” the energy said as it slowly started disappearing into thin air. The moment he tried to reach for it, it was gone. All that could be heard after was Jungwon’s screams and cries, him begging for it to all be dream. He couldn’t see his parents, friends and especially you for so long. Yet he got up, as he reminded himself that he just had to finish the mission in order to go back. He will see all of you again, no way he could give up. It couldn’t take that long, right?

As for you? That day you woke up ecstatic because it was your best friend’s and crush’s birthday! Oh, little did you know, that a part of Jungwon was out there, struggling to see you again. Yet, you would never notice, because Jungwon? He was still here, with you. He just wasn’t aware of it.

Your best friend was finding information and answers to so much stuff, he met so many different beings, but his only focus was still on you. All he did was for you, and it took him thousands of years to finally finish his purpose. Although, in your timeline, only 65 years have passed. For one second, Jungwon didn’t forget you.

The moment he was congratulated, his questions were answered and he was given the free will to finally travel wherever he wanted, the boy was ecstatic. Yet, it still took him way too long to find his original timeline again, because even tho he could, he didn’t know how to travel where he wanted.

As he saw himself in his original timeline, the boy, now temporarily an old man was found in a small yet beautiful house. He rose from the bed, and as he recalled his memories from this body, he realized the things he feared most. His parents were long gone, his friends were now old and all married & ill, and you, his now wife, was dead. When he tried to get out of bed in order to analyze his surroundings, he realized that it was all true. He, himself, was now old. Which he wouldn’t have hated, but he didn’t see any of his loved ones or himself grow up. As fast as he could, he reached your grave, which wasn’t far from the house. Everything was so beautiful, your “forever place” was covered in beautiful flowers, perfectly positioned under a tree which gave it the prettiest shadow ever seen, yet it was the saddest sight he saw in all of his years. As he stared at the name thats carved on the decorated piece of stone, the name he sighted was yours, and it broke him.

And as tears left his eyes, thats when he decided, that no matter what, he would find a way to travel to another reality where everyone he loved most wasn’t out of his life. And he did, but it took him so long to learn and finally be able to reach it. He jumped in between realities for so long. Nevertheless, he never gave up.

As he woke up in his original bedroom that he fell asleep in the night before everything happened, he was enthusiastic. Before he could even recall his memories from this body, in order to tell if he was in his desired place, he saw his parents, but more importantly you, staring at him from the doorway. When he spotted a cake with the numbers 1 and 8 on it, as you and his parents screamed “Happy birthday, Jungwon!” he finally sighed in relief. That’s the moment where the red haired boy realized that it was finally over. He could finally live the life he always dreamed of. In the end, he was free.

[hella1975]

I'm writing this ask as I read the new update so here, we go.

Initial reaction to the first two paragraphs: Absolutely immaculate. Perfection. Incredible. All the praise. I read the first paragraph and immediately had to take a moment to fully process what it was I'm about to read because I forgot how YOU write. Like 'Oh yeah this is HELLA.' (I've probably read hundreds of books in my life and you're the best author I've ever read). It's like I've been fueling my hunger with the fanfiction equivalent of empty calories since your last update, and I feel like a starved child sitting down at a feast and immediately I had to take a moment to take it all in.

I'm where Bato is in the tent with the book and Hella, let me tell you. I've already been struggling with my sexuality recently and if this makes me even more confused, I swear I'm gonna-

"He could point to these sentences and say look, here, that's where I fit." - That's going to be the part I maim you over. I'm barely into this update and already you're doing this crap. Mind you I'm ace, so I decided I'm projecting onto Kanut.

"Maybe there are types of love you can't access." AAAHH. The way you talked about this is so perfect, I can't with you.

I love Sokka and Zuko and the way you write them. It's so incredible.

Bato you menace

It's good to know that Bato ships Tomnook.

I don't usually like Bato. Not in the show, not in the other fics, but I absolutely love him in taob.

Tomnook you menaces

"If a flower was enough to rob a man of his strength, then perhaps he wasn't so strong to begin with." Love that, 10/10, using that on my sexist relatives one day.

WERE GETTING SOME KANUT AND ZUKO SCENES THIS IS NOT A DRILL- I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL (I love those two so much)

It was shortlived, nvm

ITS HAPPENING AGAIN AND APPAS THERE TOO

AAHAHAHAHH THATS TOO PERFECT HELLLA I HATE YOU SM WHY DO YOU DO THIS WHAT THE FFFFFF

"Needed to vent, you're a fantastic listener." Kanut you king

Hella that was absolutely beautiful. You deserve all the kudos all the fame jk rowlings career all of it. Sexuality is such a touchy subject and you handled it completely perfectly. I can't put into words how perfect that last scene was, I love that old healer.

You are genuinely the best writer I have ever seen and you are incredible at writing everything everyone else does a crap job at and I admire you so much and I aspire to write something this incredible.

I dont like commenting on ao3 so I just decided to leave this in your ask box thing :)

❤❤❤

Also, this is the same anon who has a list of their favorite things about you (lists are kind of my thing) and I have something I would like to add onto the list. I'm just going to tag this onto this specific ask because why not. It's also completely unrelated to the rest of this ask.

That is the way you tag things. You're the funniest person I follow and you show that in the way you tag things on here. I think I mentioned you're general chaoticness before, but thats unrelated to how hilarious you are. I can't even put it into words, like why the things you say in tags always make me laugh but they do and yeah.

list anon im literally slow dancing with u we're two slow dancers last ones out im twirling u in my arms i cant do this rn. parts of this ask that knocked me out:

'I've probably read hundreds of books in my life and you're the best author I've ever read' YOU CANNOT JUST SAY THIS TO ME AND EXPECT ME TO BE NORMAL ABOUT IT

'I love Sokka and Zuko and the way you write them. It's so incredible' okay ive said briefly in the past that im SUPER anxious about every aspect of taob zukka like im hyperaware of it every scene i write of them just bc i feel people have waited so long for it that it's now my job to execute it Perfectly or people will be let down, so every time i get even the smallest compliment about taob zukka i get soooo giddy

'Sexuality is such a touchy subject and you handled it completely perfectly' i cannot stress enough how nervous i was for this chapter like i wanted to do it justice so fucking badly so this is just very <333 yeah

'You are genuinely the best writer I have ever seen and you are incredible at writing everything everyone else does a crap job at and I admire you so much and I aspire to write something this incredible' BARK BARK GROWL HISS BARK GRRRRRRRR

'You're the funniest person I follow' TO THINK THAT WE COULD STAY THE SAME BUT WE'RE TWO SLOW DANCERS LAST ONES OUT-