#idk if i will ever feel truly happy with that last answer because it means a lot

[theboytatu]

no because you're so right. i mean not even suho is anticipating the anniversary (he's not even in sk...) and the day's just around the corner 😭 just like ksoo said back in january, they aren't going to have any activities as a group this year, so yeah they're fine ignoring the fact that they're part of a kpop group and focusing on their own projects. that's FINE and NORMAL, and i hope they're having fun and feel satisfied with their achievements etc etc. but idk... it's not the case but i just feel like we've truly reached a point in which almost none of them gaf about exo the group anymore/feel tired about it all. or maybe they feel bigger than the group (sorry if i'm not explaining myself that well) even though obviously they won't say it if that's the case, when let's be real most of them are not anymore LMAO. sorry if this sounds mean, i'm not trying to be rude and i'm not asking for them to be #bonded brothers got7 style all of a sudden, but can we at least try and beat the barely coworkers allegations a little bit harder :) and can we recognize that just because we might vibe with our new boss or whatever he's not necessarily a good businessman and that it might be in our best interest to be willing to participate in any future activities taking place in china if proposed despite not liking our former agency :) anyways i'll be happy if we even get a badly photoshopped group pic no matter what happens we are one 👉🏼

alright. i'm gonna answer this once and not again. i hope you understand it's exhausting for me to rehash this every two weeks but i guess i haven't put my full thoughts on paper addressing this whole mess. DISCLAIMER FOR A LONG ASS ESSAY

not to be incredibly weareonepilled but i don't think they're any less close than they have ever been. bonded brothers? exo have been (trauma)bonded for years now and they keep proving it. the comparison with got7 misses the point imo because their situations could not be any more different. like okay. you do know at this point any one of the exo members could have called it quits and focus on a very lucrative solo career right?

kyungsoo could act for the rest of his life and put out little acoustic songs on his own and be alright. SM is gonna keep giving kai solo comebacks every 9 months regardless of what he does with exo. junmyeon is literally in a place where he could move permanently to LA and fund his own acting career in indie movies. chanyeol could fuck around in his studio upload covers to soundcloud and get a few acting gigs in kdramas for years. and god knows jongdae could invest all the money he made off of years breaking his back with exo, tell all korean antis to fuck off forever and retire with his family to see his daughters grow up.

and baekhyun? baekhyun could have left the group the first time around he was in contract negotiations with SM. he had another chance to leave them all behind when they gave him the rights to his solo career management. he didn't. sure - he's still making it incredibly difficult for exo to continue activities normally - but the root cause of this conflict is that baekhyun does NOT want to leave exo. he wants to keep being in the group while being allowed to put out projects and promote the way he wants to. and SM is not allowing that.

he made a bad business deal with his own company that of course backfired because SM will stab you in the back the moment they have a chance... but objectively, if baekhyun wanted to he could simply go on with inb100 as his main company, stop trying to fight for the contractual obligations that make him give 10% of his earnings to SM and instead pay the penalty fees to terminate the contract he signed last time he was renegotiating with SM. break it off cleanly, for once.

but he hasn't. because terminating that contract (while also probably incredibly expensive at a moment baekhyun is almost certainly suffering from liquidity issues) means forfeiting any rights he has to be part of exo. terminating that contract means terminating the relationship with SM in all areas - individual and group activities. SM knows that. they purposefully included that in the new contract because they needed to keep baekhyun in a leash somehow. and SM knows that, when push comes to shove, every single member of exo will put exo first. at this point, exo group activities are the carrot and their contracts are the stick.

we already know that most of the kpop industry is built on slave contracts and unfair clauses that put the company in a vantage point - securing their financial power over the idols that make them rich in the first place. the situation with groups like newjeans, loona, and fiftyfifty has shed a light on that recently. granted - 30+ year old men that have already made their own fortune are not as disadvantaged as these examples, but the principle remains the same.

and well. SM is insidiously good at playing the contract game, and have been for decades. other companies aren't nearly as cutthroat when it comes to these negotiations. case in point, jyp allowed got7 to walk away with their trademark name and IP. that can happen when you lawyer up and study the fine print (which is what jaebeom did and all respect to him and his group for that) but the company has to be WILLING to meet those terms in the first place. SM will never, ever, in a thousand years, allow EXO or any other group for that matter to be the owners of their own brand. SM is built on this: the company always has to be the stronger brand. no group and no idol can be above that.

the only way EXO can keep being EXO is as a group under SM entertainment. and the members know that. and that is the reason that after all these years, and after all the disrespect, and after all the mistreatment and the impatience and the pressure from the fandom, they still keep going back to the hand that slaps them. they keep trying to make this work solely because they love being a part of EXO.

because i fully believe they have been brothers and will continue to be brothers for probably the rest of their lives. it's just incredibly hard to remember this when the entire situation keeps looking like all the odds are stacked against them. but i will never doubt them. i will never doubt their bond - friends can have disagreements and fight and then make up. that's literally life. but everything they have shown me so far is that they are ride or die for each other, even when life gets in the way.

[randomness-is-my-order]

Considering you like mlb.

What's your opinion on the whole "Marinatte and Co. keeping Gabriel bring monarch a secret from adrien" thing? Cause man it's made adrienette more icky to me, cause yeah ik mari has her reasons but idk 😅

before i answer anon, just know that when i say i’m into mlb, i mean that after being disappointed by the canon media i have exclusively engaged with the fandom output (fics, art, some analyses) and stopped watching the show post like the fourth season. xP

my opinion on the “marinette and others keeping adrien out of the loop about how his FATHER was the main antagonist of the show for multiple seasons and actively harmed him both inside and outside his superhero identity to keep him ignorantly happy and let him believe his pos dad was a hero” is that it is some truly spectacular bullshit. idk how the show is proceeding from this pithole it is has dug for itself but the very fact that adrien’s kept in the dark about such a crucial piece of information by the very people he trusts the most is gonna sit sourly on anyone’s tongue who cares even remotely for his character and even marinette’s, for that matter.

i think it is really ironic that one facet of adrien we are shown to affect him most negatively is when he is kept out of secrets and alienated in terms of information and we went through a whole arc about ladybug learning to keep chat noir in the loop and then she goes and repeats the same process, only this time it’s so much worse. i’m assuming she’s doing this for “both” chat noir and adrien but it’s especially egregious for adrien since marinette/ladybug KNOWS how poorly gabriel treated his son. idk man, i think the writers could have resolved this so much better than bypassing the confrontation (chat noir vs gabriel) that so many of us had been awaiting.

and of course, marinette’s just a kid with absolutely too much on her plate and she’s probably feeling very guilty about all of this and there will be an eventual blow-up of the secrets kept but here, the drama of the situation matters less than maintaining the integrity of the narrative which was already compromised during last season’s finale. everything done now has to grasp at straws to reach a point that compensates for the absence of adrien’s involvement in the downfall of his own father and subsequent matyrdom and the choices ladybug and others took in the wake of it but honestly? i’m not sure the writers will handle the gravity of such choices with enough weight for me to be compelled by whatever character development they show.

adrien’s agency has been repeatedly compromised, mishandled, disrespected over the course of the show and it continues to be so, so i don’t blame you for being uncomfortable with adrinette in the current season because i feel the same way. being manipulated and thereby controlled “for his own good” is not a good look and all the history we have on his character and gabriel’s makes it really harrowing as a plot point to watch unfold (which is why i’m not gonna). until and unless adrien is treated like a person capable of making his own decisions, allowed to know everything that relates to him, allowed to be a person who can react in whichever the fuck way he wants to potentially devastating news, the relationship between adrinette in any form won’t restore the balance that has been off for seasons now.

atp anon, the fandom is a gift that keeps giving so go on ao3 and find a retelling of the recent seasons that are probably more faithful to both adrien and marinette than the show will ever be.

[yourmidnightlover]

undeserving

pairing: bucky barnes x reader

summary: your self destructive tendencies have won this round, leading to you making a pivotal decision to end your relationship with bucky.

warnings: intense depression and self hatred, low self esteem/self worth, ANGST LMAOOO, no happy ending :(

a/n: short and not so sweet. idk why i was wanting to write something so sad lol. on a brighter note... i'm currently working on the next chapter to timeless :)

you didn't deserve the love you were being shown.

your pulse racing, tears clouding your vision as the music drowned out all of your senses that remained. he enveloped you entirely, made you want to be better.

he deserved so much. so much more than what you could give him.

he had come back from literal hell on the other side, and the world, ever so cruel, gave him you. a sick sense of humor it's got, truly.

you're weighed down by the simple tasks of everyday life. getting out of bed, brushing your teeth, showering... everything is a battle.

there was an urge, an unbridling urge, to want to be everything he deserved and more. but something in your godforsaken brain wasn't clicking.

the chemical imbalance in your brain has ruined your path. now, it was muddy and cloudy and there was no clear answer of what to do or say or ask in order to fix it.

but when you see him, his strength, you simply feel pitiful. how could someone battle his inner demons everyday and win, conquering them as he has battles from his past, be with someone who let menial tasks ruin their day?

so, as he stood in his tux, awaiting your arrival so he could finally ask you to dance, you approached him with baited breath.

"may i have this dance, doll?" he held his hand out, an uncharacteristic smile gracing his lips, the one that only showed when you were near.

you couldn't trust your voice. instead, you placed your hand in his, relishing in the fire that sparked from his touch, savoring it as if it were the last time. because it was.

you rested your head on his chest, swaying to the music as your free hand grasped his shoulder, tethering yourself to the ground so you wouldn't float away like you desperately wanted.

maybe you should've bribed the dj, made him put this song on a loop. a promise of calm and serenity before you wrecked your entire world.

maybe it was your self destructive tendencies that made this decision.

maybe it was reality sinking in, that the an who was holding you like you were the most beautiful thing to exist should be holding someone who truly was beautiful... and unbroken.

as the song came to a close, you pulled back with tears in your eyes. you could see his face contorting as he tried to piece together why you were so distraught.

"'doll..." his hands grasped your waist tenderly, gently squeezing as if he, too, was trying to ensure that he wouldn't float away.

"i-i can't," you choked on a sob, not wanting to cause a scene in the middle of the beautiful event. "i'll always love you, james," you let your hands hold his face one last time, leaning forward to press a kiss to his nose. "but i can't be with you anymore." your voice was cracking as the tears were streaming down your face, breaking down the stoic barrier you had tried to keep plastered up through the night.

you couldn't look in his eyes again. they would tell a story you were too afraid to hear. they would whisper that you were being a coward, too scared to not amount to the expectations you had set for yourself. they would whisper that you should listen to bucky when he told you how wonderful you are.

eventually, they would convince you to stay.

but staying would mean you were dragging him down with you. you refused to be that kind of burden to him.

later, when he retreated to his room, bucky would find a letter you had written him. one detailing the shortcomings you believed you had, how he deserved more and better than someone so tormented by their own mind.

how you were so undeserving of his love.

[sachermorte]

You give the idea that youve already really made it. Maybe you dont try to, but you seem.. sucesfull. Accomplished. Happy. Doing things and getting them done and having a large list of things youve already done behind you. You are confident and very bold in an almost, sometimes, annoying manner. Perhaps I only see you as that only because I'm jealous of how easy you love yourself. Your ego definetely gives the idea that youve made it and if not the "making it" is in your grasp. Idk. You live in one of the most beautiful places on Earth and you buy beautiful items every other day and you teach what seems as magnificent things magnificently and people love you, admire you. Are jealous of you. Havent you made it?

I'm sorry if this seems like hate, it is not. I respect you. And I understand if this jovialness is after it all only a persona for the internet. If it is, it works very well. You dont have to answer this, of course.

The attitude is a bit of a front. Not just for the internet, but for everyone who knows me in real life as well. I would feel as naked without it as I would if I went out without clothes. But also I think it's fully real? As in I've been wearing it for so long that it's melded into me, and now I'm just sort of like this. It's very Falco-esque in a way. Depends heavily on my mood and whatever is going on at the time.

I have my problems, of course. Trauma and mental illness and instability in my moods and relationships. My job security is only until the end of May. I have to find another legal justification to stay in this place that I love after I graduate with my master's. Something always comes through to save me from utter disgrace and ruin but I'm getting sick of counting on miracles. I have financial issues not because I'm necessarily spending beyond my means all the time (most of the things I pick up are only a few euro with very notable exceptions) but because I make just barely above the Armutsgefährdungsschwelle and had to dig myself out of a pit after the third worst time in my life. I seek out human contact because I don't do well alone, but if we spend too much time together too quickly I start to become disgusted with my own feelings.

Do people love me? Do they admire me? Are they jealous of me? I honestly can't tell. I'm notoriously bad at gauging someone's positive emotions towards me. I'm always utterly floored when someone says they were thinking about me when I'm not around. It just doesn't register. The idea that people love me sounds strange. The idea that they admire me is flattering. The idea that they're jealous of me feels alien, if only because I know the intricacies of my own situation. I think they're all very nice thoughts, but I struggle to fully integrate them.

But then, who isn't sailing through a secret storm, so to speak? I try to be good to myself even when things are a bit hard, because things are always a bit hard, and I want the good memories afterward. I'm living in the only place on earth worth living still muddling through somehow, despite it all. Not everyone can do that. Haven't I already made it? Haven't I just?

I don't know if I'm happy. I don't know if anyone can truly be said to be happy. But I am making a committed effort to enjoy myself. Maybe that's what matters.

P.S. I read this last night and wanted to give you a proper response once I'd thought about it, but I was h o w l i n g over "you are confident and very bold in an almost sometimes annoying manner". I honestly consider it one of the highest compliments I have ever received. It's uproariously funny. I kept coming back to read that very line over and over and cackling to myself about it. I want to have it printed and put in the binder of testimonials I have because I forget that people think fondly of me. Christ. I'll drink to that. Here's to annoying confidence and boldness. Somebody put on Egoist by Falco.

[likesunsetorange]

omg don't be sorry for rambling pls i love hearing about what you have to say!! the fact that levi and mikasa's dynamic reminds you of you and your brother is so sweet stoppp 😭

i don't have twitter so i didn't know DOL was pretty personal to you as a writer but i love that. i can tell it's something created out of love! <3

i'm glad to hear we'll get to hear more eruri's lore in DOL omg hhahdjs, i didn't know you like them so much that makes me so happy to hear haha, i'm just so obsessed with ackermans and their men idk isayama cooked peak romance with that i think. but hey, if you ever do decide to write a full on eruri fic i will be your number 1 supporter hahdjdh 🫡

haha i’m glad someone enjoys my rambles then!!

but idk how much of the dol lore i’ve shared on tumblr, mostly because i feel like i don’t talk about dol as much on here? so i guess here’s a bit of a dol lore dump if you must!!! and just some other stuff about the fic too!

but forgive me if i have LOL but for those of y’all that maybe don’t follow me on twitter, dol was actually inspired by something that happened to me!

i mention it in the first chapter of the fic, but the whole package scenario actually happened to me with my neighbor! i used to actually kind of have a tiny crush on my neighbor (nothing crazy i just thought he was cute lol) and my package got delivered to him!! but he lived directly across from me lol so i didn’t bother knocking or letting him know when i got my package but he saw me on the ring and then came knocking on my door a few hours later asking about the package lmfao 😭 it was super awkward in my case bc my dad answered the door and i had just gotten out the shower and i looked so bad LOL it was very embarrassing and i avoided him until he moved out a month later lolbut yea i like to think of it as a little butterfly effect in my life! bc it brought me to the fandom and stuff! so dol is really special to me in that aspect, i turned an embarrassing moment in my life into something special haha

and then in actual dol, hitch annie and sasha are really a big combination of all of my female besties (i have several lol), but i have a friend group of four, and their dynamic reminds me a lot of the of the four of us!! there’s so many convos and tidbits of their friendship lore, i’ve kinda stolen from my friends and i and our stupid escapades 😭 if you read the one shot i did of mikasa’s college days, there’s a few little tidbits that are actually just about me i slipped in! i really love writing their scenes bc i think about my friends and our friendship and what they mean to me! one of my fav scenes i have planned is from a really pivotal moment i think of often between one of my friends and i!

this is me actually really exposing the fuck out of myself too LOL but for eren’s character too, i’ve honestly put some traits of all my past romantic conquests 💀 i won’t say much more than that but yea LOL

and i’ve also expressed my experiences with grief a lot while writing dol too! my own personal experiences and just in the last few years seeing how those around me have handled it as well!

i think that’s why i just love dol so much bc it’s like little pieces of my life broken into the story, i like to say dol is a love letter to those around me and the people i love! it’s from the heart truly lol it’s not perfect but the love really is there and dol at its core (or at least i hope it’s being conveyed) is about love!!! platonic familial and romantic!! but that’ll make more sense later i think haha

but i am also obsessed with all the ackerman relationships!! i’m obsessed w kenuri too!!! i think they’re all peak tbh isayama went off w them he cooked i fear. BUT THANKS SM ABOUT THE ERURI 😭🤍 YOURE TOO KIND ANON! in glad i have a shooter!!! maybe i will write a little drabble about it bc dol eruri is kinda peak to me they make me emo i won’t lie 😭🩵

[thefrogdalorian]

Hi, Spud!! Firstly, I would like to thank you for your amazing stories, they really help me get through tough times and always brighten my day!! 🥰 I love the way you write, every time I read your stories featuring Din I can literally feel his comforting presence through words and through the way that you describe everything in small details that make up a beautiful and heartwarming story. I think you’re very talented and such an interesting person to get to know better!! I’d really love to 🥺

If you don’t mind, can you answer 4, 13, 11, 22 (What’s your favorite drink??), 27, 28 (What’s your favorite music genre? Perhaps you have a favorite artist?) (it was really hard to choose, I wanted to ask you every one of these questions and more!). How did you get into writing??

Thank you for answering them and absolutely no pressure at all, you can choose the most comfortable ones!!!

Hello friend! Wow, what a lovely message to receive, thanks so much for taking the time to write and send this to me. You made my entire day 🥺

I'm SO happy that you enjoy my writing and my version of Din brings you comfort aaah. That means the world to me and messages like yours are why I love writing so much. To know that something you create means something to another person means the world.

Anyway, gonna answer your questions underneath the cut since you sent quite a few! It means a lot to know that you'd like to get to know me better. I am just a Din Djarin loving loser with an internet connection and far too much time on my hands but it's really nice to hear that you'd like to get to know me better!

4. mythical creature you think/believe is real?

I've got to go with Nessie, the Loch Ness Monster. I believe in my heart she is. I remember seeing a film when I was a kid about her being real and idk she seems friend-shaped even if she'd probably rip my head off without a second thought.

11. anything from your childhood you've held onto?

Trauma Nooo seriously: physically I think a lot of books and a fridge magnet collection I started back then. But intangibly: my love for Star Wars, playing musical instruments and a passion for writing and reading that have never truly left, even if they were dormant for a few years while I was at University.

13. first thing you're doing in the purge?

Too much of a coward to do anything really bad or violent, so I'd drive myself (well I don't have my license yet so that would already be one crime... but I think I could manage it hahah) to the nearest toy shop and clean it out of Lego. It's so expensive and there are so many nice sets I'll never own so that would solve that problem.

22. do you have an emotional support water bottle? (and my fave drink)

I do! It's actually a Mando one hahah it's this one I got from Primark and I love it. As for fave drink: it is 100% iced coffee. I don't drink alcohol anymore but tbh I haven't saved that much money since I gave up because of my slight iced coffee addiction.

27. what's your favorite or go-to outfit?

I definitely chose comfort over style. Usually just dress in jeans and a nerdy t-shirt with a comfortable sweater or hoodie on top. And always a pair of Dr. Martens! Comfiest shoes ever when you get past the blisters. I've never been one for fashion really but as long as colours don't clash, I don't care!

28. last meal on earth?

Ooh good question! So, so many foods I love but if I had to pick the last thing i could ever eat, I'd definitely go for a Korean barbecue. Such a good meal and the whole experience with a group of friends is the best.

What’s your favorite music genre? Perhaps you have a favorite artist?

Honestly the basic answer but I'll listen to pretty much anything. My top genres according to spotify wrapped last year were: pop, rock, modern rock, pov: indie (what) and soft rock so make of that what you will! My top artist was Taylor Swift last year and I love her but I have so many other artists I adore too! The other top 5 were blink-182, Lana Del Rey, Coldplay and The 1975 so that gives you some idea of what I'm into hehe. I'm so bad at describing my own music taste but it's sort of middle-aged dad core (also love Arcade Fire, The Stone Roses, Fleetwood Mac and Queen) plus Taylor Swift and Lana. AND 80s CHEESE LIKE ABBA!! Can't forget the cheese.

How did you get into writing??

I've always loved writing and done little bits here and there, but never had much confidence in myself until I did NaNoWriMo for the first time in 2020. I've completed it three times since then but it was really a combination of watching Mando s3 again and reading a book called Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell which I picked up for cheap in a charity shop last summer that made me think.... hey I could write fanfiction! And here we are! I love doing it. It's done so much good for my mental health and allowed me to chat to so many lovely people like you! I'm very grateful to have discovered writing when I did. Not sure where I'd be without it tbh!

Thanks again for all your questions, hope that helped you to get to know me a little better! If you feel like you want to, I'm more than happy for you to message me privately and chat too. But equally no pressure, thanks for your message and I hope we'll speak again!

Ask game

[doublegoblin]

This or That

Thank ya @gummybugg for the tag !

It's been a while since I've done one of these and there are some different questions so I'll be answering for myself on this one.

As far as who else to tag, @asterhaze @randomstupidchaos @princessw0lf @angie-j-kay and anyone else whom'st've the desire to join in the fun!

historical or futuristic

Between the two I enjoy the aesthetic more. When it comes to futuristic I feel that sometimes the descriptions and setting can get a bit muddy and bloated with stuff. Idk just vibes too.

the opening or closing chapter

I can't really recall what I put last time and I am too lazy to double check. But, as I've been working more and more on longer WIPS I've come to really enjoy the concept of that final chapter. Putting everything in its place and tying it off with a happy little bow. Carrot on a stick kind of mentality.

light+fluffy or dark+gritty

Despite the content that I typically write, I don't typically like to engage with bummer stuff. Also in my experience, dark and gritty is usually just a shorthand for making everyone bastards. Real big oh ho ho we people are just a bad day away from tribalism like bro, gtfo with that shit. Not to say it isn't valid, just not what I want to engage with.

animal companion or found family

Both are equally good, but, just vibes?

horror or romance

Despite what I said two questions up, I do enjoy me a good spoopin'. Not too much like blood and gore, but like, the tingle at the back of your neck kind of horror. Don't put a bomb under a table and have the viscera go everywhere, tell me a bomb is under the table and then nothing else. Plus, I'm an edgy bitch who enjoys edgy monsters.

hard magic system or soft magic system

I'm a nerd who enjoys rules and regulating things. Maybe there is some neurospicyness to it, idk. Hard magic lets you have a problem and find fun ways to use those same problems and maybe come up with a unique solution. Or better yet, find some loops holes that still make it "technically" correct.

standalone or series

This was a toughy, but just once again comes down to vibes. What it came down to was me splitting some hairs. If a work follows the same storyline but just over multiple iterations (i.e. the original Percy Jackson series) I still consider it a standalone. A series takes place in the same universe but different stories are told in that same universe (think more spin offs or side stories, once again Percy Jackson). Does this actually make sense? Not really. But, these are my vibes.

one project at a time or always juggling 2+

I want it to be this way, but my WIPs disagree with me. Though I tend to only focus heavily on one for an extended time before jumping to the other (usually a chapter or so).

one award winner or one bestseller

You could make the argument that a bestseller is also an award winner, but, when it comes down to it I'd rather have my stuff reach the most amount of people who want to engage with it on its own merits rather than because it has a fancy qualifier.

For stuff I engage with, I truly don't give a shit about either. I am a slop enjoyer.

fantasy or sci-fi

Same kind of answer as the first question.

Unrelated I do have strong feelings and opinions on the color use in sci-fi. Technology with a Black/Green color scheme is NOT the same as Black/Red and I will die on this arbitrary hill.

character description or setting description

I hate writing character descriptions.

first draft or final draft

It is that primordial marble block, just begging to be sculpted into something. And with every sculpture, you don't start off with smooth features, you have to beat the rough shape out and then gentle shape it. I really enjoy the hammering.

love triangle in everything or no romantic arcs

Between the two, give me nothing. Also with a love triangle (which is hardly ever an actual triangle more of a horseshoe of conflict) you will always, and I mean ALWAYS, have people adamant the wrong choice was made.

Also another quick aside (and I know this isn't the case in every situation but I can only engage with so much media) the choices for the "triangle" are just like pallete swaps of each other. Also it seems that no matter who the center object picks, there doesn't seem to be any bad blood or long term consequences, the unpicked option usually gets a "runner up" prize anway.

constant sandstorm or rainstorm

In a perfect world where the weather doesn't matter, this 100%. Like have you seen the vibetastic photos of inside a sandstorm? The auburn hues, the occasional static discharges, the dim but still useful light? Pure vibes.

Maybe it's also because I live in an area that gets plenty of rain, and the idea of something new is exciting.

[strawbrygashez]

More questions I stole from a post because I like yapping

1. selfie

No

2. what would you name your future kids?

I probably wouldn’t actually name them this but I absolutely love the name Freya (Fray-uh)

3. do you miss anyone?

Answered this yesterday but yeah. My grandmother passed kinda recently

4. what are you looking forward to?

Talking to Zee again.

5. is there anyone who can always make you smile?

Yeah. Zee and some of my moots

6. is it hard for you to get over someone?

Depends on how obsessed or attached I am.

7. what was your life like last year?

I honestly can’t remember too well but I guess kinda shit. This year has been going better in a few ways.

8. have you ever cried because you were so annoyed?

Probably. I feel like there has to be another feeling mixed in tho for me to cry besides being annoyed.

9. who did you last see in person?

My mom

10. are you good at hiding your feelings?

Kinda. A lot of people don’t know how I truly feel about them. In some situations I’m terrible at hiding my feelings though. Especially if it’s like someone making me genuinely upset.

11. are you listening to music right now?

Nope. All i can hear is the rain and clothing washer rn.

12. what is something you want right now?

To pee.

13. how do you feel right now?

Alright. Need to get up to pee.

14. when was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you?

Yesterday. Hugged a guy family member

15. personality description

Hmm. I dunno. I don’t often have people tell me what personality aspects of mine they notice besides I guess Zee told me I’m nice. Uhm. I guess generally speaking I’m quiet and polite. My sibling would probably say I’m annoying and crazy tho.

16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t?

Multiple times thru out my life.

17. opinion on insecurities.

Uh. People having insecurities? Thats normal. Sure having them and other people having them sucks but I mean it’s just a part of life.

18. do you miss how things were a year ago?

Not really no.

19. have you ever been to New York?

No

20. what is your favourite song at the moment?

SEVENTH HAVEN from Tokyo 7th sisters.

21. age and birthday?

No

22. description of crush.

Ouuuggh… he’s very handsome. Just looking at him makes me wanna curl up and die because he’s so attractive. He’s funnnnie and smexy 😋

23. fear(s)

Complete dark, bugs, people I care deeply about getting tired of me, speaking in front of a crowd, loud sudden sounds, men raising their voice, uhm.. I dunno. I have OCD so I get random fears a lot so I can’t list out all of em.

24. height

I think exactly 5 feet tall.

25. role model

No one currently. Growing up it was Marilyn Manson.

26. idol(s)

Miku? Idk.

27. things i hate

Tons of things. I’ll list a couple simple things I hate tho.

Doing dishes, being yelled at, being expected to care for or like certain people, being forced to do certain things, having to act normal/happy irl to cover my ass from getting yelled at or having people ‘worry’ about me.

28. i’ll love you if…

You’re not annoying and overly sensitive. Nice to me :p

29. favourite film(s)

Queen of the damned, The Lost Boys, Joker, and The Crow.

30. favourite tv show(s)

I don’t watch tv shows really. Does anime count? I love some anime. The Love Live series and Chobits are my favorites.

31. 3 random facts

About me? I’ll go with about me. I’ve seen Korn and Slipknot preform, I cry really easily over idol animes, and I can name all the love live girls easily up until LL!Superstars.

32. are your friends mainly girls or guys?

I’m not sure to be honest.

33. something you want to learn

How to be better at scrapbooking & I would like better conversation skills.

34. most embarrassing moment

My leg fell asleep once in elementary school and when I went to get up to leave the class I fell over and smacked my head against the white board. I’ve also fallen up the stairs in middle school and off a desk.

35. favourite subject

English if this refers to while I was in school.

36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill?

Meeting Zee, going on my first date, having my first boyfriend.

37. favourite actor/actress

None. I don’t care for actors.

38. favourite comedian(s)

None

39. favourite sport(s)

None

40. favourite memory

Going to a anime store in Florida and getting tons of Love Live merch.

41. relationship status

Single but harassing someone to be mine.

42. favourite book(s)

Chobits manga.

43. favourite song ever

Jesus that’s a hard one. Uhm. I couldn’t pick one really but Ningyo Hime by Rie Tanaka is really really nice.

44. age you get mistaken for

A teenager. I’m in my early 20s.

45. how you found out about your idol

I said miku was my idol sooo I found her thru an Adventure Time amv

46. what my last text message says

I asked someone where they were

47. turn ons

Dark humor, a sense of confidence, and being very nicey to me

48. turn offs

People who whine about everything ever, people who get insanely annoying about the fact other people have different opinions and beliefs.

49. where i want to be right now

With Zee

50. favourite picture of your idol

No.

51. starsign

Cancer

52. something i’m talented at

Nothing really. Having knowledge on dumb things I guess.

53. 5 things that make me happy

Zee, Love Live, Chobits, gifts, and being left to do my own thing.

54. something thats worrying me at the moment

How much I’m peeing. I did have like 2 water bottles but 🙄

55. tumblr friends

My mutuals. I’m not listing them all out.

56. favourite food(s)

Ice

57. favourite animal(s)

Axolotls

58. description of my best friend

I don’t know if I have a best friend. I care most about Zee so uhm. Read my previous answer about my crush

59. why i joined tumblr

Bc im autistic

60. ask me anything you want

*twerks*

[1d1195]

its totallyyyyyyy valid to be feeling that way because truth be told, all those things are super expensive. and when they’re just sucker punching you from all sides, one after the other ?? nuh uh😮‍💨 like how much can one person truly afford yk ?? especially when one of thems a little further away like you mentioned, because you’ve just got so much more to worry about than a local wedding (hotels, gas, food, etc.) so i think it’s good you’re not taking on that extra stress. there will always be more weddings and the ‘no’ option is there for a reason🫶

ahhhhhh let me just start off and say thank you so much for your kind words, they truly mean more than you know💖💖 (especially the math thing bc i am not a math girly so i may just take you up on that😭) i don’t think anyone’s really rooting for me on my end (family, friends, & whatnot) so reading your message was just the kindest thing in the world really💘

i always think the exact same thing with the ‘well someone has to do that’ when someone makes fun of certain classes or careers and i rlly hate that people say that to you ! no one needs me to remind them of this but teachers are literally so important and i 100% would want to be one i just have no patience and im actually terrible at explaining things🤣 but i cannot tell you how much teachers can actually change someone’s life, i still remember very specific moments of how kind some of my teachers were back in school and things like that really stick with you, you’re job is so important, arguably the most important, so if someone ever tries to say something like that again i will personally take them on in a fist fight (now, i might not win but ima get the message across dw💘☺️)

thursday was soooooooo good omg i felt soooo bad for our girl when she was just sitting there like …..👀 while harry was getting talked down to by hailey AND WHEN SHE WAS THINKING ABT ASKING HIM IF HE KNEW WHAT SHAMPOO SHE USED HAHAHHA SHES SO REAL FOR THAT. idea for a future blurb: they go out somewhere on a saturday (his favorite day mhmm…) and run into her ex ;) srry but im alwayyssss going to be a sucker for jealousrry 

YAY LOVE A NEW SONG ! no because i completely understand what you mean about the romantic/whimsy part of it because something abt the violins and the guitar together is just soooo 🌅🌻🍃🌊✨ idek if that make sense but ya😭 i love love love the melody

HAVE THE GREATEST DAY OF YOUR LIFEEEEE <33333 sending the warmest virtual hugs🫂🫂🫂

~🎶

Not that it's like a competition or anything, but the wedding I'm not attending, the couple did not attend my sister's wedding so I feel less bad about not going 🤷‍♀️ however, I think my mom wants me to go because more than likely she needs someone with eyesight to go 🙃 so I bet I'll get roped into going even though I don't want to.

I'm so proud of you for doing what you want despite not having support! You always have my support and I'm happy to give you pep talks whenever needed!

I'm glad you liked Thursday, I feel so bad I really wasn't into it. I feel like it was super lackluster. I was going to put her ex in as well (because Jealousrry is a fan fave for sure) but I couldn't imagine writing another sentence for it 😭 I didn't want to force anything longer than I did! But i think her ex will make an appearance next time!

NO it makes so much sense! I just fell in love with it so quick! I thought it was so fun and it has really brightened up my commute over the last week of school!

I can't remember when you sent me your message regarding the wedding. You said it was a little over a week but idk if I answered the ask later than you sent it so I feel like it might be this weekend!? I hope you have fun if it is!

xoxo

[deyanirahayes]

idk man this is the only social media that i have no ties to anyone on and i just need to vent/rant/ whatever bc the unsent project only allows 100 characters and i have so many emotions that i will get lectured at if i post somewhere ppl will see it.

i am fine. not happy. not good. just fine.

i miss a life that i never had. something i have learned over the years ive been alone is how much i love to run. anytime anything in my life gets hard i do whatever i can to run away from it. ill change my name, hair, style, house, friends, ANYTHING to forget that version of myself and that time of my life. i have never had a strong sense of self, i dont know who i am or what i stand for. its funny, my mother may have been wrong about so much but she was right about that.

i have done horrible things. everyday when theres a pause in the chaos i remember. i hate it. no matter what i change, the memories remain.

ive gotten better at taking accountability. ive gotten better at just making the right decisions in the first place. what might be the easy choice is rarely ever the right answer. my brain is sick, but other people shouldnt have to suffer because of it.

i started taking my meds regularly again. its not easy and i feel empty but if thats what keeps the people i love safe then ill do it over and over again. i still remember the last message he ever sent me. he really was trying even after everything.

i catch myself missing him often. its not fair; its actually incredibly selfish. things were not good. we were awful together because of me. i wonder if we had met later on, maybe things wouldve been different.

i doubt it. he was my first true love. if it wasnt with him it wouldve been someone else. thats how i know deep down i was the issue all along.

overall im fine. there is nothing special about me. anyone on the street wouldnt give me a second glance. i no longer feel pride in being "brutally honest". ive learned thats nothing but an excuse for being mean. i just dont see the world like i used to. i am not better than anyone else. i dont need to be.

im glad that im working on being better. im just sorry it happened too late. i couldve been so much more.

nostalgia is a funny thing. i am in love with my past. maybe its because in the end ill always be more comfortable in chaos. maybe its because im scared ill forget the things ive truly loved.

i still write about him. not music. its more poetry. music is alive. everything about him is dead now. like ink on parchment.

in the end, i really want him to know he was what changed me. im glad i no longer cringe away from mirrors. im glad i dont see her in my reflection anymore. he always did feel obligated to fix what was broken. i just wish my brokenness didnt cut into him as deep as it did.

i dont love him. i dont hate him. i just want to be free of who i was when i was with him. but thats the price of destruction.

[reigningsniper-a]

9, 18

9. Favorite battle? Why?

     Poignancy-wise? I have to choose Roy v Envy. 

     Lust v Roy is amazing and well earned, don’t get me wrong - but there is a lot riding on this confrontation that isn’t in the fight against Lust. Lust stabbed Hughes before Envy shot him, sure, but as the audience we know that Envy was ultimately Hughes’ killer. So ever since Envy shot him, we have been waiting for Roy to find out. 

     And when it finally hits? All bets are off. Roy absolutely falls into a wrathful and vengeful rage and leaves no prisoners behind. We have to watch a man so dedicated to protecting people, measured and controlled until someone is threatened, absolutely lose it and almost totally lose himself. The emotions, man…. There’s layers and layers to the complexity of how emotions roil on that my chest tightens thinking about it.

     But (because I just, can’t let this one go unmentioned after discussing this choice with a friend). Sheer holy shit yes YES fight? Al v Pride and Kimblee. I remember watching those sequences, enthralled with the animation. But we also see Al finally give it his all. And he’s got a Philosopher’s stone to use. He struggles with the conflict of using the souls and their energy, but ultimately he knows that the souls would at least want to aid in the battle against the ones who murdered them all for their power. 

     And he’s battling Kimblee and Pride.

     FMA has so many amazing fights. They’re all different and there’s so many combinations of face-offs. Some are also lucky, because certain matchups would have met resounding defeat at certain times or just because of the people involved. It’s actually a little crazy to really think about their weight and the time they occur, who they’re between, etc... They are all?? So?? good??? 

18. What was the biggest thing you took from the series (most important moral)?

     I have always adored the emphasis on the ones that you hold dear in tandem with all of the connections that you end up making. You look at the canon and it’s a wide range of people. It’s not just limited to the Elric’s closest family and friends. It’s all the people they come across and make connections with, even the briefest of ones. We start with Rose and the conflict in Liore right in the very beginning (manga) and three episodes in (brotherhood). 

     Then all of a sudden after Winry escapes from Kimblee’s reach and the chimeras rebel, the party ends up back there. And Rose recalls how Ed told her to stand up and get back onto her own two feet. It goes much deeper than a coincidence. It specifically was meant to highlight that even in his brashest and bluntest of moments, Ed was able to so resoundingly and meaningfully affect people. 

     The entire start of the plot and what solidifies them into the Homunculi’s crosshairs is Ed and Al wanting to bring their mother back, someone who loved them and touched them dearly someone they missed. Roy loses Hughes, his best friend, and spends the entire rest of the series trying to avenge him and to simultaneously protect everyone else while losing the other five closest to him. Ed and Al grapple with Winry being pulled into the conflict and trying to keep her from harm. Even Lan Fan and Fu return from Xing, new automail and all, in search of Ling but also to assist in helping Ed and his allies.

     Even Marcoh, a little doctor hiding in a small town reappears and becomes so vital. It shows how as life goes on everything manifests in an intricate web. You meet people, they meet people, sometimes it overlaps, you meet again, etc… It’s…a wonderful push and pull that I think makes the sacrifice Ed makes all the more powerful. Alchemy touted as a gift and something to be valued. Ed relies on it for so long and puts so much faith in the research to get their bodies back. But when faced with getting Al’s body and soul back he would happily give away his ability to perform alchemy because of all of the people he has behind him and around him. 

[devildomdisaster]

Idk if you read Lore Olympus but chapter 129 gave me an angsty request idea.

So Persephone, who’s the goddess of spring, goes into a hibernation-like state and when her emotions go out of control, she ends up growing her hair really long and her body sprouts a lot of plants from her; to the point of covering her and whatever area she’s in with her plants.

So I would like to request head cannons of the Brothers reacting to an MC who gets really sad whenever the brothers insult or threaten them and after several weeks of being berated by demons it causes MC to shut down and go to their room but mistakes a comfort spell with a plant curse that causes their hair and plants to grow continuously long. The plants fill up MC’s room and while they would normally be surprised at the mistake, they don’t care any more. They allow the plants to to grow, even wrap around their neck and body, and hopes the curse kills them off before the brothers notice as they go in the “hibernation” stage of the curse (The curse causes the victim to grow a lot of plants and vines from their body until they die, which can take a few days).

I’m sorry for being so long and descriptive, I just wanna see the Bros panic and feel guilty that MC felt pushed to do this to themselves but I understand if you don’t want to do it

I don't read Lore Olympus but you described the situation really well so I hope this is something close to what you wanted.

Comfort spell gone wrong

Lately, nothing seemed to be good enough for the demons. No matter what you did one of them would find something to berate you for.

“Mc, your grades are subpar even for an exchange student. You’ll have to try harder in order to not be a disappointment to Diavolo and myself.” Lucifer warned over breakfast.

“Mc, you burned dinner. You should learn to be a better cook.” Beel grumbled. As if you had ever seen any of these ingredients before ending up in the Devildom.

Even Mammon seemed to be in a particularly unpleasant mood. A never-ending string of complaints about how hard it is to protect an ordinary human. “Geez, you’re such a hassle human.”

Taking refuge in the library to study and to give Mammon a break from you proved disastrous and nearly deadly. Somehow you’d managed to spill your cup of tea all over an old somewhat rare text after Asmo had barged in and startled you. Your string of bad luck continued when Satan rounded the corner and saw the soggy tea-stained pages you’d been trying to decipher. In his fit of rage, he’d called you several unpleasant names and asked if you were “capable of doing anything right or if all humans are as stupid as you?” You’d left as quickly as you were able to avoid any more of his wrath.

No matter where you went you kept walking in on Belphie napping and without fail he’d say something nasty to you, that would make tears burn the backs of your eyes.

Levi had angrily called you a “useless normie,” who he wished would “never come back.” and had pushed you from his room with a slam of his door.

Even Asmo who usually just ignored you when he was upset found every reason imaginable to critique your every aspect. Physical and personality. Not a single one of which made you feel any more than worthless.

So was it any wonder when at the end of a long week you’d locked yourself in your room and decided to try that comfort spell you’d heard Solomon talking about? It seemed simple enough. But then your tears had blurred your vision as you’d recited the words and your Latin was still shaky at best. But it was just a few lines! And there was no way you were going to go to one of the brothers for comfort when they had seemed perfectly happy to make you miserable for the last few weeks.

You’d read the spell aloud and curled up hoping that the spell would kick in and you’d feel even just the slightest bit better. The blinding green light and sudden drop in energy was the first and only warning the spell had gone wrong. But being new to magic meant it still sapped your energy, so you didn’t stop to think something might be wrong. By the time you realized what was happening, everything was out of control. Plants had begun to sprout from your skin and the floor around you, growing and growing. With each inch they grew you felt your exhaustion creep up and consume you. You were just so tired. Your eyes fluttered closed. This was wrong! You forced your eyes open again. You need to fix this. The spell! But a short nap wouldn’t hurt, would it? You’d have more energy after you woke up. Then you could go get one of the brothers. Satan would know how to fix this. Or Lucifer! He’d clean the spell up easily. Yes, after you woke up…

Lucifer hadn’t seen you all weekend. He figures you’re most likely studying. But you don’t show up for meals and none of his brothers have seen you either… and oh Diavolo! He can feel the spell from the dining room. How did he not notice sooner? The cold pulling sensation of the spell, like it was sucking the warmth and life from its surroundings.

When Lucifer reaches your door Mammon is already there. Knocking and shouting for you, but there's no answer. He all but breaks your door down, his brothers behind him, and finds you at the center of the spell. Unresponsive and covered in the plants using your energy to grow. The plants had begun climbing up the walls and twisting through your hair, sending out snow-white flowers.

“Beel! Don’t!” Lucifer warns as Beel reaches out to pull a handful of plants from you. “We don’t know what did this and what will happen to Mc if we just rip the spell off like that.”

“Lucifer, Mc did this to themself,” Satan points to the open spellbook. “It looks like they got a comfort spell mixed up.”

Fortunately, your last tired thoughts were correct and Lucifer is able to break the spell quickly. You wake surrounded by the brothers.

Lucifer:

All this happened for a comfort spell? Because you didn’t feel like you could come to him, to any of them?

He’s so sorry Mc. Enough that as he leans down to pick you up out of the mess of withering plants you can feel tears fall onto your face.

“Nothing I did was good enough for you Lucifer. Any of you. I just wanted to feel… I just wanted-”

His heart breaks when he realizes this is his brother’s fault, his fault. “You are always good enough, Mc. Much more than I could ever ask you to be, and if I ever made you feel like you weren't. No, the fact that I made you feel like you weren’t, means I have been truly terrible.”

You’re choking back your own tears now and you curl further into his arms as he carries you down the hall. “You said I was a disappointment.”

“My dear Mc, you have never been, nor could you ever be a disappointment to me. Forgive me for ever making you feel as if you were.”

Lucifer takes you to his bathroom and draws you a bath to wash away the last of the plant matter from your body.

Afterward, he’ll bring you anything you ask for. He wants to wrap you in his arms but doesn’t want to push you, so he asks softly if he can hold you.

He’ll spend weeks trying to make this up to you, even after you forgive him, he’ll be sure to tell you how much he loves you more often than he did before.

Mammon:

Shit human! Why didn’t you come to him? He loves you so much and oh. He made you feel like a burden.

How could he be so stupid when he knows how his brothers make him feel?

Mammon begs for your forgiveness in front of all his brothers.

“Please can ya forgive me? I never meant to make ya feel like a burden. You're the only human I- I want to protect you Mc. I’m so sorry.”

Mammon helps you up and since your room is covered in plants he offers to let you sleep in his room for the night.

He wraps you in blankets and brushes the hair from your face with trembling fingertips.

There are still a few stubborn leaves sticking to your face and in your hair so Mammon takes a warm washcloth and wipes them from your face before gently untangling the plants from your hair.

You’ll be getting little gifts and tokens of mammon’s affections for the foreseeable future.

Levi:

He threw you out of his room when you came to him for comfort and the guilt at seeing you almost die because of it is eating him alive.

He feels frozen

Maybe you would be better off without an otaku shut-in like him. He starts avoiding you like the plague.

You start to think that Levi is so disgusted with the fact that you did that spell that he doesn’t want anything to do with you anymore.

Despite this Levi still checks up on you. He wants to know that you are ok, he just does it without you knowing.

He’ll ask his brothers about you and discreetly glance at you during meals to make sure you’re eating enough and look healthy.

A few days later when your favorite and manga anime start showing up outside your door you confront Levi. “Are you mad at me? Do you just not want to be around me after what happened? Levi, I miss you!”

He is shook, and he can’t believe he messed up so badly.

He’s happy that he can invite you to hang out again, and he makes sure to spend long nights gaming or watching movies with you until you fall asleep against him. He’ll even stutter out how much he treasures his time with you, blushing fiercely all the while.

Satan:

Satan feels anger swell up inside him. How could he have let this happen? How could no one have seen how upset you were?

Once the spell has been dissolved he is at your side instantly. Brushing vines from your skin. His fingers are shaking in anger but his touch is so gentle.

When both you and your room are cleaned up Satan sits at your bedside, book in hand, reading to you.

He just wants to be close to you now. He wants you to know how much he cares about you but is still too worked up to get his thoughts out properly.

Eventually, his thoughts calm and he stops reading in the middle of a sentence. “Mc, I am so sorry. I never meant to make you feel unwanted. Every day I spend with you is infinitely better than a day without you. I know the spell was a mistake but… we almost lost you. I almost lost you.”

He wants to talk about what pushed you to do this. He won’t push but he really does think that he will be better able to help you if he understands.

Satan makes sure to spend more time with you from now on. He makes a conscious effort to check his temper at the door and be with you when you need him.

Sometimes he’ll just read to you until one of you confides in the other in quiet voices.

Asmo:

As you blink your eyes open Asmo gently brushes some plants from your cheek.

You are so pale and his heart breaks as you flinch away from him. You feel like a mess and you know you must look like one too so curl your body away from him trying to hide. Trying to avoid his critical gaze.

This is the moment Asmo knows he screwed up.

He draws his hand back, for a moment, before reaching out to you again. Cupping your cheek and wiping your tears away with perfectly manicured hands.

Lucifer has him take you to his bathroom to clean up while the rest of the brothers work to clear the plants from your room.

Asmo is quiet for a long while as he untangles plants from your hair.

“You’re so loved, Mc,” he says softly. “You are.” he insists when you shake your head no.

“More than you could ever know, and it’s our fault for not telling you. My fault for not making you feel worthy.”

After this incident, Asmo wants to make sure you know how beautiful you are. He starts self-care days once a week that soon turn into whole family affairs. Each week different combinations of his brother attend and you all work to pamper each other.

Asmo makes sure nothing like this happens again, he never wants to be part of the reason you feel unloved ever again.

Beel:

At first, Beel thinks you did this on purpose. Once the brothers realize you messed up the spell he is less angry but no less distraught.

Once you wake up, he wants to take you to get desserts. He’s heard humans eat Chocolate/ other sweets to feel better. And this makes sense to him, food does make everything better.

But you don’t want to go to Madam Screams or the kitchen to make your own. You’re still so tired. Not to mention embarrassed that you screwed the spell up this bad.

And now they are all staring at you like they care so much when none of them had any time to notice how they were making you feel before.

When you become unresponsive to the brother’s questions and apologies Beel scoops you up in his arms and walks away with you.

Something about the way he holds you close to his chest and his warmth causes you to finally let go.

You bury your face in his shirt to muffle your crying.

“I just… I felt so alone! And… I...but no one” you gasp out shakily between sobs.

Beel soothes you with soft murmuring as he gently cards his fingers through your hair and strokes down your back.

Once your crying quiets he starts to speak “Don’t do that again. You can always come to me Mc. I’m so sorry you felt like you couldn’t”

Belphie:

Belphie thinks it’s a joke at first. “Man, how could they mess up this bad?”

Then he sees Lucifer’s panicked expression and it hits him how serious this is.

Belphie is immediately by your side. Hands frantically feeling your wrist for a pulse.

After Lucifer breaks the spell and your eyes flutter open Belphie is filled with relief until a wave of guilt washes through him.

He can’t believe he fucked up so badly again. Sure this time he didn’t directly cause you physical harm, but he did play a role in causing you to almost die again.

“I am so very sorry Mc, I never meant to hurt you.”

He does everything he can think of to make it up to you. Anything you ask him for, as long as it’s within his power, is yours. No questions asked.

He asks permission just to hold your hand for weeks afterward as if he thinks you’ll come to your senses and decide you don’t want anything to do with him.

He wants to comfort you so bad.

To make sure you don’t feel like this again Belphie pulls you away to nap with him as often as he can get away with it. Most likely only a few times a week (much less often than he would like). Sometimes he uses this time just to talk with you. Others you really do nap, and Belphie curls himself around you. Occasionally he enters your dreams while you nap together to make sure no nightmares can touch you.

[luna-writes-stuff]

I would be honored if you could do an imagine for Fili crushing on someone who went on the journey with the Company. He thought she liked his brother, but after seeing him with Tauriel, Fili feels like he has a chance and offers everything to make her as happy as he thought she would be with Kili. Lovely fluff and some misunderstandings with everyone living because IF I CAN'T SEE CANON THEN IT DOESN'T EXIST

Mixed signals, Fili Durin (platonic Kili x reader)

what do you mean they don’t usually live???? Idk I always skip the last half hour of botfa. If I don’t see it, it doesn’t exist.

Ahahah I got taken away a bit so it’s a long request. Sorry….

Headcanons, female s/o

Tw: misunderstood feelings, mention of injury and blood, tiny sprinkle of angst, fluff, Kili being a lil shit, Fili being jealous, few mentions of Y/N I’m so sorry.

- This man is whipped for you. I posted a request similar to this one yesterday, and I feel like it says enough.

- The moment he sees you, he knows you’re his One. Yet, he can’t allow himself to show you. His brother wouldn’t shut up about it and besides that, after Erebor was to be reclaimed, he had to marry royalty in order to form an alliance.

- But Thorin wasn’t blind. He has seen the look in Dis’ eyes many times before. He had seen his sister find her One, so it came as nothing out of the ordinary when he witnessed his nephew do the same.

- And this is pre-dragonsickness. Back when Thorin was all “I hate everyone but I guess I have to keep up with these two idiots so I’ll tolerate them.”

- And he wanted to grant Fili the opportunity to be with his One. He had even told him to simply go for it.

- But Fili was a bit insecure. When you met him, you didn’t seem taken away in any way. It was almost as if it had only been him who was in love.

- And with that, you had grown remarkably close to his brother, Kili. You two joked around all the time. You sat together during the evenings, Kili would help you up on your horse/pony, he would take offer your watches and he even let you hold his bow and arrow. That is basically dwarven language for “I love you and I wish to court you” or “I love you and I’m so glad to have you in my family.”

- What Fili didn’t know is that Thorin told Kili about you being his One. But instead of teasing Fili about it, Kili had made it his duty to agitate his brother so much that he would have no choice but to confess to you before Kili would sneak you away.

- For your information: Kili had no intention of sneaking you away. He just wanted to make it look like it for Fili, and, lucky for him, you had just been going along with it subconsciously.

- But it did not agitate Fili. It made the poor lad confused and tired. You were showing so much affection and endearment to his brother that he felt like he could never compete. Even though Kili had never been attractive in dwarven standards, he knew his way around women. And seeing someone finally pay attention to him, made Fili happy for his brother.

- And Kili just kept up with the act. He was oblivious to what his brother was feeling. Thorin had quite specifically told Kili not to tell his brother, and for once, he didn’t. But when days turned into weeks, Kili made more advances. Not in any way uncomfortable for you, but they had been a step further.

- He would let you rest against him during night shifts, he would let his hand linger on your waist when he helped you get onto your horse/pony. This sneaky bastard even managed to toy with your hair.

- Fili grew absolutely devastated at these moments. He had distanced himself more and truly felt as if his One had been taken away and he would die alone.

- But then Mirkwood happened. It was obvious to Fili that his brother had taken a liking on Tauriel, the female elf that saved him earlier. You had been passed out of exhaustion in your cell, not paying attention to your surroundings anymore.

- And that was when Fili finally decided to speak.

- “What are you doing? I thought you liked Y/N and now you’re flirting with that elf? You can’t treat her like that!”

- And now Kili was confused.

- “I thought you liked Y/N?” He had questioned, not even knowing whether his uncle had been lying to him or not.

- “That doesn’t matter. What matters is, you can’t just run around-“ but Kili had already cut him off. “It does matter. Because Y/N isn’t my One. I’m not attracted to her!”

- And now Fili was dead silent. He had been contemplating on whether to act furious or taken aback. In reality, he had been a bit of both.

- “You don’t like Y/N?” Fili asked, nearly insulted.

- “I was only trying to agitate you. Uncle said she was your One but that you wouldn’t confess.” Kili admitted finally, knowing that keeping the act up any longer wouldn’t work.

- “So you tried to beat it out of me?” The only response the blonde got was a quiet hum.

- “You thought I would take away your chance of happiness?” Fili wondered aloud, his anger now showing more clearly. “Well, not if you put it like that-“ “How else am I supposed to put it?”

- With those words, the space grew quiet. One more question lingered on Fili’s mind, and he had to ask it.

- “Does she know you don’t like her?” A short pause was heard from Kili before he responded. “She does. When we grew closer she told me she wasn’t attracted to me and I told her she wasn’t my One.”

- A sigh of relief came Fili’s way, but his brother kept on talking. “She grew all confused by the concept of ‘Ones’. Had to give her a whole history lesson. She thinks it’s adorable. I’m sure she won’t reject you.” With those words, Fili’s ears pricked up.

- “How so?” “Because every time we are together, she won’t stop asking me about you.” Fili never thought someone could ever bring him more butterflies than when you smiled at him, but as Kili’s sentences reached him, his stomach felt all light again.

- “At first I thought it was because you were ignoring her, but I quickly figured out that wasn’t the case.” Kili shot a quick look his brother’s way, even though he had been in a cell on the other side of the hall. “She likes you, she really does. She’s not as good at hiding it as you are. If you ask her to court you, she won’t say no.”

- Fili had spent the entire night pondering over his brother’s words. Even as they escaped the dungeons and took the boat to Laketown, his anxiety bubbled up.

- But as soon as the orcs entered the city, reality sunk back in. They had been on the run while simultaneously claiming their homeland. There might be a chance neither of you would make it. And it terrified him.

- As you were busy holding off the orcs in Bard’s home, Fili had been right beside you covering your back. He knew asking you to court him would require more steps. Up until this moment you had only held a handful of conversations, but Fili was running out of patience.

- “When all this is over, I need you by my side.” He told you quickly, his voice heavy as he fenced off the attackers. You grew confused at your words, yet your actions did not falter one bit. And it only made Fili more attracted to you. How you maintained yourself on a battlefield, yet somehow managed to hold that perfect look. It could quite easily take his breath away.

- “But I am by your side.” You answered, not catching his meaning, thinking it had been too good to be true.

- “I mean by my side at Erebor. When we reclaim the mountain. Will you stay with me?” Upon your silence, Fili tried explaining his speech. “I know asking you to court me requires more steps but we might not have time for them anymore. I need you to stay with me. We can do all these steps afterwards, I promise.”

- You cast him a quick look before giving him a sincere nod. “I’ll stay with you.”

- And that is exactly what you did. Upon finally arriving at the mountain with the four dwarves, Fili finally got the time to braid your hair, even if Thorin told him to look for the Arkenstone. You had even managed to braid his hair too, even though you had no beads yet.

- Even as Thorin slowly grew insane, Fili had done what he promised; he remained by your side, defending you against his uncle and keeping you as safe as he could.

- During the battle of the five armies, you stayed with him and Kili. You traveled with the three of you, not once separating. Not even when Fili decided you should split up. Because of that, you managed to do quite a number on Azog before Thorin called out to him.

- Azog had gotten a good slash on your leg, nothing life threatening but enough to make you collapse on the spot. Fili had been so worried. He had promised to look out for you, but now you were bleeding out on the snow covered floor. Kili had already ran off for help, even though the possibility he would come back with one would be highly unlikely, as battle was still raging on.

- On top of Ravenhill everything had grown silent. Bodies of dead orcs were littered over the floor but all that mattered to Fili right now was you being safe. Eventually, Kili had ran back with Bilbo, Thorin and Gandalf by his side. They had successfully beaten Azog, finally putting an end to the bloodshed.

- As the mountain was being rebuilt, Oin had put you on bed rest to let your leg heal and Fili had been with you the entire time. Thorin hadn’t even tried to get him for royal duties. He knew he had been awful to you during his dragonsickness, and this was his way of apologizing to you. And you had been fine with it.

- When you had finally recovered, Kili took you to the forges to make beads for Fili. You wanted it to be a surprise for him, but you needed supervision. At first, Dis, Fili and Kili’s mother, had offered to help, but it had become her duty to distract the crown prince.

- A few burns and scratched had started to form on both your and Kili’s hands but it had been worth it. The beads were incredible.

- Fili was so happy when you gave them to him. He was so surprised by the amazing details and the thought and time your poured into them.

- He wears them the entire time. Now exceptions. Not even for bed or bath. None. They must always be in his hair.

- I WANNA WRITE MORE BUT IT’S ALREADY SO LONG BUT JUST ASSUME HE LOVES YOU SO MUCH AND WILL TREASURE YOU FOREVER AND LOVE YOU FOR EVERY LITTLE THING YOU DO

[reidsnose]

Black Eye

overview: reader and spencer go to reader's highschool reunion as a fake couple

genre: fluff i think

warnings: mild violence and swearing, a guy being kind of a total creep, and mentions of bullying

a/n: idk if its any good again just love the idea but it was inspired by a dream i had last night (thank you temporal lobe) so yeah let me know what yall think !! :) also im posting this at like ass oclock in the morning so whoops

masterlist

-

-

you and spencer had gotten yourselves in quite the situation.

your dreaded highschool reunion was just around the corner and you made the mistake of complaining about it to penelope. she was always trying to make everyones life easier (and more interesting) so when she heard you had no date she took it upon herself to find you one.

it didn't take a lot of looking, none at all actually; because Penelope had already been trying to figure out ways to get you and Reid together.

you two were undeniably perfect for each other. you were an amazing team at work, you hung out alone all the time (though both of you denied these hang out as being dates, Garcia had her own ideas on this), and you were both very obliviously head over heels for each other.

and somehow, through the magical ways of Penelope Garcia, you and Spencer were now sitting in the parking lot, fake married for your high school reunion.

"do we need to go over our back story again?" you worried, looking up at him.

"our backstory is basically all true anyway we just fall in love after a little bit. and i have an eidetic memory so i remember; you're my wife you should know this!" he joked, trying to relax you. "we got this! we're gonna be so married!"

Spencer had actually never been this nervous in his life but he was trying to be brave for you. it would be more embarrassing for you both to show up like nervous wrecks than if you had just come alone. he was just happy to get to be fake married to you.

"the marriedest!" smiled, fist bumping him.

"now lets go make some people jealous!" he chuckled getting out of the car and jogging over to your side, opening your door before you got the chance to; like a true gentleman.

you stuck out your hand which he happily took into his, neither of you commenting on the redness you both had sprinkled across your cheeks. as you walked in, you saw all the people you dreaded seeing.

the boys who tormented you were balding and the girls who made sure you felt awful everyday had wrinkles riddling there skin. you were surrounded by botched botox and bleached blonde to cover graying hair. you felt terrible to admit it, but you were a little happy to see that their beauty had faded like this; they made their looks their whole personality in high school, you couldn't help but wonder what was left for them to be. not that it mattered, but you and Spencer were undeniably the most attractive couple there.

you actually had an ok time, you had spotted a few of your friends that you hadn't seen in quite a few years and it was nice to catch up.

Spencer had wondered a bit, but not too far, he was talking to some guys who used to be in science club when you were younger. you smiled at the thought of what they might be talking about.

"y/n! hey youve really filled out!" you heard a gruff voice from behind you.

you turned around and were met with the very unappealing face of the ex quarterback. Spencers attention had been caught at the sound of your name.

"um..hello," you muttered, trying to covertly back away from him.

"i see youve got a ring, interesting i dont remember us getting married!" he said in an incredibly creepy tone.

"do you know im a federal agent now?" you said through a gritted smile.

spencer had already begun walking towards you, he could tell something was off.

"ill tell you what sweetheart," he put his hand on your shoulder, pulling you slightly closer to him, "you can put me in handcuffs any day."

you threw his hand off of you and drew back your fist, but were cut off before you could deliver the punch but his hand engulfing your own, and squeezing.

"THATS MY WIFE!" spencer yelled in a voice you had never heard from him before.in the blink of an eye he was standing between in front of him. "do not ever talk to her like that, let alone lay a finger on her or so help me God i will-"

"what beanpole? what are you gonna do? what if i did this?" the man asked.

and then he sent a swift punch to Spencer's face.

thats gonna leave a mark.

in a matter of seconds, Spencer had him overpowered, laying face first on the floor with his hands uncomfortably angled behind him, completely helpless.

"now i'm going to let you go and you're going to walk out of here unharmed. if you try anything like that again, ill let my wife handle you. and i promise if she gets a hold of you, you'll be a dead son of a bitch." Spencer muttered in the mans ear, gruffly pulling him up by his collar and shoving him towards the door.

"were leaving." you said, grabbing Spencer's hand, trying to ignore how incredibly attractive he looked right now.

"babe if you want to stay we can stay," he offered as if he didn't just have his shit kicked in by a coward with misogynistic tendencies.

"honey, i want to take you home," you smiled, liking the way it felt to call him a pet name. you walked into the parking lot, "what were you thinking?"

"i was thinking this guy is trying to hurt you and i was not going to ever let that happen." he answered confidently as you two reached the car. "plus this totally made the marriage thing more believable. i wouldn't get a black eye for just anyone."

"thank you. i'm sorry you got punched trying to protect me." you sighed, feeling incredibly awful about the whole thing.

he chuckled, "id do it again."

you fought hard against the blush creeping up your face.

"i gotta say, the black eye really suits you. you look pretty badass." you chuckled, trying to change the subject before it got too sappy and you said something you shouldn't.

"maybe it should just be my new look," he joked, looking down at a ping from his phone. "uh oh."

"we have a case?" you asked.

"yep. and hotch wants us in the office asap which means we cont stop by either of our houses." he sighed before starting the car.

the drive was mostly silent. but a comfortable silence. Spencer thought about how in the moment, he didn't care how many punches the guy threw at him, as long as it meant you were ok, he was willing to take it. he knew he loved you far before that moment but that truly solidified it.

at the same time you were thinking of how quickly your time as a 'married couple' was over. it felt so right to call Spencer yours. so unexplainably perfect for the two of you to be together. if only your time wasn't cut short by a sucker punch.

you neared the building's parking lot. you looked over at Spencer who you could very easily tell was lost in his own world.

"whats going on in that beautiful head of yours?" you asked, causing him to stifle a smile.

"just thinking." he answered.

"what about?"

"us." he stated, pulling into his parking spot.

oh. oh.

"do tell."

he hesitated, "if i tell you, and you disagree, do you promise it wont change anything about us?"

"i promise."

"did it feel right to you? us being together?" he asked, his eyes innocent and filled to the brim with a mixture of anxiety and adoration as he looked at you.

"yes. it absolutely did. and i was so mad at the assclown for cutting our time short," you admitted, "and punching you in the eye, obviously."

"i- i'm not sure how to ask this but- do you...would you..sorry i-" he stammered.

"yes."

you cut him off, pressing your lips to his. his hand gently cupped your face, deepening the kiss and you both felt like you were on cloud nine.

"thats exactly what i was trying to say," he cracked a dopey smile, causing you to chuckle.

"i've been trying to say it for so long." you confessed, causing him to smile impossibly wider, "we gotta go hotch is waiting."

"just one more kiss?" he asked, which you gave in to, obviously. and then another. and another.

maybe it was good thing that he got a black eye that day, because when you got to the office the whole team was so focused on it they didn't even notice the hint of your lipstick left on spencers lips.

-

-

ultra mega super cool taglist:

@mac99martin @imhreid @spencersmagic @hollydaisy23 @raelady1184 @a-broken-pact @padfootswife @hey-there-angels @star-stuff-in-the-cosmos

[freakygirlie]

Hi. Itk here. Believe me, don't, doesn't matter. Thought I'd drop (after you summoned ha) by given the chaos and try to enlighten the ones who choose to believe me, as much as I'm capable of.

The first thing I wanna say is: stop trying to figure out their relationship. You most likely never will. Fans are stuck on both extremes, when the actuality of it is far more in the middle (perhaps even up or down and all around ha). It's complex and strange and not at all "normal" (as normal as they could be, anyways).

It's not as simple as "oh they're just a closeted couple who engage in bearding and have kids and behind closed doors they're just a regular, old married couple and a big, happy rainbow family".

Doesn't sound like itk info, believe me, I get that but observing the fandom I'd say it almost is because most fans simply hang on extreme simplistic ideas of what their relationship is.

Second thing I'd like to say and unfortunately seems like it's not at all obvious but: do not believe anything they share publicly. Not saying they're lying compulsively, but they are public figures and they have a lot at stake to just casually drop the actual truth of any given situation.

Just don't. The same salt you have regarding itks, have towards them. It'd do you some good...Believe me. Unless you are involved in the entertainment or political life, you cannot even begin to fathom what it's really like, the level of manipulation, falsehood and well, overall deviation of it. It's quite disturbing tbh. So just always take whatever's said and shown with a good amount of salt. With public people hardly anything is accidental or casual.

I think the most prominent question now is...Why? Why would they do something like that? Regardless if you have the ingenuity to believe the little scene they made or not...Still, the question lingers.

With my level of "in the knowness" I cannot for sure say the real reason, yet from the pieces I've collected so far, seems to be a multiple gain scheme. It was a high risk, they were well aware, and it paid out in the way they were expecting, minus small bumps here and there. But overall it seemed to have worked in their favor. How in the hell, one would ask?

Believe me, I used my best sneaky capabilities to find out exactly why but they were smart enough to keep this one locked tight, minus a few loose lips. And from those all I've heard was that "whatever the purpose was, it worked out".

As weird as it may sound to the innocent mind, it's actually not at all, given that even leaked nudes are not at all leaked or accidental, and those tend to (at least in the past) get immense amount of backlash. It's not the first time famous folks fake a fight, surely won't be the last.

A lot goes into public image, it's not black and white as "well but it looked bad on Jensen", "it looked bad on the prequel", etc. You'd be surprised as how little this truly matters given the level of manipulation they are able to pull on the public. And well, even with them...It happens all the time. Both made mistakes far worse than just "not telling my bestie about my new project" and fans would eventually let that go and put them back on the pedestal.

So just remember, always: not in the industry? then don't judge anything because you simply do not understand how it works.

Another piece of itk information I can give besides "this was planned and it worked" is: they are fine. From what I've heard they are not fighting over it or going through anything more dramatic than what they usually have been going through ever since they met haha.

So just sit back and chill out. Breathe, read fanfiction and remember that we will never truly get answers, because even what comes out of their mouths are most of the time carefully thought out and directed to have a specific meaning and effect (why do you think Jared mumbles and rambles so much?).

Another interesting piece of itk: you know how they always say they never fight? Even though that sounds insanely hard to believe even if they were just friends because who knows someone for that long and is constantly together and never fights? Unlikely, right? Yes, as obvious as that was. But unfortunately a lot of you seem to believe that, given the level of shock you had for this little twitter feud (as fake as it was). Yeah. They fight. A lot.

They fight as much as individuals in their situation would. Like I said, not at all what most people absentmindedly seem to think it is. They go through a lot. Way more than anyone who isn't in a similar situation would understand. It's messy, although they try their best to make it simpler in the ways they can.

On top of being in a very complex situation, they both have strong personalities and one of them is quite hard to "pin down". So altercations happen a lot, but they know how to deal, and they are exceptionally good at making sure that doesn't interfere in their work (oh well, at least not any work that doesn't benefit from intense emotional exchanges, anyways 😉...chemistry isn't something random, you know? haha).

I find it quite...interesting (to put it nicely) that a lot of hats easily believe they are a couple that lies constantly about almost every aspect of their lives, yet, they cannot believe they would fake a social media narrative. It makes no sense whatsoever.

It'd do you all good to be a little less tendentious and look at them as, you know...Humans? They are not what they seem to be, just as you guys also take in different versions of yourselves in different situations, they do too. And don't be so hopelessly naive to actually believe they see fans as "hashtag family". This is their work. And as grateful as they are for supporters, they certainly do not consider them family. To the point of never lying and trusting you with their life.

I'm sure they love their fans, but come on, saying they would never lie because that's mean to fans is just beyond naive. They've been doing it all along and oh, another interesting info? They don't think they're doing anything wrong.

Yeah, sounds weird, you'd think they'd feel guilty. But again, unless you were media trained, you'd never get it.

From years now if there's one consistent info I've gotten was this: they don't feel obligated to tell you anything. They believe they are doing "what they are supposed to do, the right thing for everyone involved".

So. Yeah. And hell, they are right about not being obligated to say anything about anything, I guess.

Well, I hope that was helpful or at least entertaining. It's hard to share info without accidentally making it obvious who I am for the lurkers (sure you guys were well aware that they lurk around the fandom). But it's safe because as long as I don't provide evidence, I'm fine. Just walking a thin line between sharing and not sharing something too specific that would be easy fir them to know who has that info and although they can't do anything against itks, they can manage to cut us off somehow and I enjoy having access lol, so that'd be a bummer.

Anyways, take itks and J2 themselves with a ton of salt haha! You are lovely, btw, you seem very kind and I enjoy your blog very much! much love!

itk anon everything you said was <333 and i agree with like almost all of it. very nice analysis and ask thank you ! i don't always believe everything j2 put out but the whole stunt being a false narrative just seems wrong so idk what to make of it. regardless i myself can sometimes get carried away in my star-struck love of j2. and i am a tinhat so well :) and now they look to be really good and taking a break from here was well worth it <3

''You are lovely, btw, you seem very kind and I enjoy your blog very much! much love!'' i love u so much hope u have a great day !

[eligaxy]

Wind

☆ℜ𝔢𝔩𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫𝔰𝔥𝔦𝔭 : Venti x gn!Reader

☆𝔚𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰 : near death experience, you’re confused asf about everything, bad writing cause i suck, spoilers for the we will be reunited quest!! And also for venti’s backstory, venti is serious for once (yes it’s a legitimate warning🤚)

☆𝔊𝔢𝔫𝔯𝔢 : Some angst, some fluff? Idk bye🤨

☆𝔖𝔲𝔪𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔶 : "It's okay, it's over now" he kneeled to be at your level, his arms still wrapped around you, and you didn't have the energy to fight your urge of nuzzling into him. "I'll always be here for you, wherever there is wind, remember I'm here too. You only need to ask." (2.8k words)

♪𝔑𝔬𝔱𝔢𝔰 : i’m an idiot simp, i did this in one sitting and half asleep, english isnt my first language BLA BLA IM SORRY FOR MY POOR WRITING BUT HAVE THIS

basically you don’t know if you can trust venti or not, head says no, heart screams yes

Also, I was listening to stormterror’s lair ost while writing it, just because its fucking amazing, you might wanna listen to it too

I’m nervous to post this?/&:! This is the second fic i’ve ever finished in my whole life

i love venti and he’s hot in his god outfit i don’t make the rules

KAY ENJOY <3

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

"Please, anybody... Just help me."

Saying you were exhausted would have been an understatement. After reuniting with your sibling, you had been frantically searching for clues about khaenri'ah and ways to Inazuma. With no luck, you couldn't find any traces of Dainsleif or of your twin. The ruins had been sealed and you had no idea what happened to the inverted statue or the corpse you had found there. Desperately, you clung into every little information you had, you would have turned every rock on this archon damned continent if you had to, which is what led you into those ruins near Guilli plains.

Walking along the destroyed buildings your eyes caught sight of a dandelion and you froze. You missed them so much, why couldn't they go back home with you? All you ever wanted was to be by their side why, why were they running away from you?

You remembered your travels, the moments you shared together, their protectiveness over you, the fondness in their eyes when you smiled at them. You remember the times you got hurt and healed one another with your now missing powers. You remember sleeping by their side and being grateful to the universe to let you keep your ray of sunshine everywhere with you. How ironic.

What had they meant 'once you reach the end of your journey' ? What does that even mean? Stupid twin, if they knew you were here the whole time, why hadn't they come to you? Why were they always leaving just when they were within your grasp? Why? Did they know how much you missed them and how much your heart broke when you finally saw them? Did they?

You only realized you were crying when a small gust of wind had your wet cheek react to the cold, breaking your train of thought. Wind.

The wind is everywhere, you think, free as a bird, always accompanying every citizen of this world, never truly alone. With this in mind, you resumed your exploring, slower this time.

A sigh escaped your mouth. You didn't want to admit it, but the wind did comfort you a little. Almost as if he was here. God of freedom and of the breeze, he was more a singer than a protector and you couldn't bear to think about him. Was it true? What Dain said... Did he destroy this nation? Was he the cause of the scenery that still haunted your nightmares up until 500 years later? Your brain simply couldn't accept that Venti, your Venti, you catch yourself thinking, could have made such an act of wrath. He was the epitome of freedom, why would he take the very thing he based all of his existence on from mere mortals? Barbatos simply couldn't be afraid of being overpowered, he didn't even care about power. All he wanted was freedom and happiness for his people. Surley this couldn't be right?

But then again, who were you to deny the wipe out of an entire nation? The gods did it. They were afraid that Celestia would be overthrown by the pride of humankind, the destruction of khaenri'ah by divine beings was a fact. There was no misunderstanding about this. That was the one thing you were sure of. So why did you feel like crying even more now?

The mere thought of a gentle soul such as Venti committing innocent people to an eternity of suffering didn't sit right with you. Even when his dearest friend Dvalin had turned against him, he didn't try to stop him, didn't even ask the dragon to save him. He healed and helped him, gave him a choice.

'What is freedom if demanded of you by a god?' was the same person that asked this question the same one who committed mass murder? Genocide?

Did the little wine-lover bard you had grown fond of destroy all hopes and light your kin had?

You remember that night when he freed Stanley from his burden, freed his and his friends' spirits. You had marveled at his action, in that instant he was a god, and he definitely hadn't struck you as a murderer. You remember that look of silent pain and grief in his eyes when he sang the tales of the nameless bard he had taken the appearance of. You knew he trusted you enough to share his story, something so personal, you could almost feel the war that took down the tyrant of Mond. Oh how much you cherished that evening, treating him to some well deserved dandelion wine afterwards, his favorite, and asking him to sing you more about the time where was nothing but the spirit of a breeze.

Your heart broke a little, remembering his rosy cheeks and drunk smile, you wish you could talk to him, ask him what happened. What did he do, was he really as dangerous as you had been told? If so, then why did you feel so good around him? Why did you feel like you could give hi-

You stopped walking upon seeing a ruin guard up ahead in the distance. You're so stupid, you think. Feeling this way is not gonna get you anywhere, especially with how the bard had been missing for a few weeks now. Ever since you had last seen your sibling.

Where was he, where was he wandering off to? You walk towards the disabled ruin guard, not really paying any mind to it, still thinking about the god you longed to meet with. If you could see him, what would you even say? Would he even answer your questions? Why did your stomach feel so light and funny when you thought about seeing him, why aren't you angrier?

You're almost at the killing machine's level now, so lost in your thought you don't notice the five other similar robots hidden behind a wall next to it. You notice them only when it's too late and you've already turned them on while thinking about examining them and collecting their serial numbers. When you hear the familiar tick of the mechanism turning on, you internally panic and think about running away only to calm down moments later and think to yourself that you can simply beat it and take what you came here for. Even if you are emotionally and physically tired, you can manage, you think.

That was before hearing five other consecutive ticks right after it, and all around you.

Turning around, your gaze falls upon the small army of field tillers. Fuck.

Paimon wasn't with you today, you had asked for some time alone which she hesitantly accepted, so you couldn't ask her to go fetch help. You would have been worried if you had all your capacities but with the state you were in, you were wondering how you were going to survive this fight. You were alone, none of your companions with you, and deeply weakened by the busy day you had and the few hours of sleep you had managed to steal away from the night. Was it today you would meet your doom, with all your questions and uncertainties unanswered?

You tried your best to fight with the strength you had left, but quickly grew desperate after what felt like hours of efforts to swing your blade and being able to only take one monster down out of the six. It didn't help that you got injured along the way, their blows becoming harder and harder to dodge. After being thrown on the grown for the third time, you understood you had at least two broken ribs and that your shaking legs would soon fail you as well.

Fear crept upon you, you would die here today, alone. Alone. You couldn't talk to your sibling after all, couldn't understand. You didn't even get to talk to him one last time. Him... You would die without the knowledge of the truth about your bard. You would die alone. You didn't want that, you couldn't look death straight in the eye.

"Please, anybody... Just help me."

-

In Mondstadt, there was a musician, a weird singer everyone had heard about at least once. He lived off of his songs and was mostly known for having a great story-telling and being an alcoholic.

The number of people who knew the true nature of his identity were few and he was perfectly content with that. He didn't wish to be a god anymore, his gnosis had been taken away anyway and it's not like he had any power over the city of wind nowadays. Even if his people still worshipped him as Barbatos, it didn't sit right with him to be called a god anymore. It actually never did, he thinks to himself with a smile, he never really took any responsibilities that came with the divine title which is why he was so weak today. But it didn't matter to him, his smile turns into a soft giggle.

Sitting on a mill that was once born from his steps he looks fondly over the city he founded. Even if they were godless, the citizens were still thriving and free. He cared oh so very deeply about the place even if he rarely, if not never, showed the affection within his heart. He remembers the day he grew strong enough to dispel the storms over his actual Mondstadt, and made the weather gentle enough so that there was no need for fireplaces. Nowadays, he loves watching birds nest into the chimney tops and seeing them found their own home. It gave him a sense of belonging like no other, not above his people, but walking among them and watching them nest into this cocoon he created. He was proud of what happened to his land and would do it all over again if he had to.

Especially since it led to him meeting you. This thought doesn't catch him off guard, you often roamed around in his mind after all, and it's not like he didn't write at least three songs about you and your feat, your smile, your courage...

Ah there he goes again, rambling about you in a whisper. He turns around to the statue of him his people erected in his honor, chuckling at how they never made the connection with his signature braids. His, but not really his, since he had stolen this form from someone who was much more deserving of this power than him. Seeing his friend being honored with the statues of the seven around the land made him happy, he hoped that it was a good enough thank you gift in return for everything that the bard whom he couldn't even remember the name of anymore did for him.

Upon gazing at the statue, he remembered telling you of his long gone friend. It was the first time he had talked about him to someone else, he didn't even mention it to Venessa, she who made him believe in himself again. He could ask himself why, but he simply knew that you had something different, more than meets the eye. Perhaps it was because you weren't from Teyvat, or perhaps it was just you being as simple as your natural self but he was simply and utterly captivated by your being. You inspired him to no end, at first he thought it was because he had never met someone like you and he loved new things! But as time grew and he got to know you, he understood quickly the meaning and depth of his passions. He thought of it with a light chuckle, content with your presence alone. He really did need and want you around.

So why did he purposely avoid you like the plague?

The wind had brought to his ears that you had met with Dainsleif.

And your twin.

His first reaction was to search for you, talk to you, he wanted to be here to know what happened! You had searched so long, he couldn't contain himself, still listening to what the wind told him, he started running with excitement but... But wait, Dainsleif was... He told you what?

Oh.

So you heard about Khaenri'ah. He had stopped dead in his tracks and turned back, only sending a warm current of wind your way, hugging you from afar.

He wasn't ready to talk about this yet, not ready to face you and absolutely not ready to answer your questions. He was a coward, he thought, running away like that but what else could he do, really. It was only natural for him to be as uncatchable as air.

A sorry excuse to avoid the fact that even if his past had marvelous story like the one of the nameless bard, it also had its share of darkness, something he wasn't ready to dive back into. Especially not now when your arrival has been shaking this world up like it hasn't been since at least 500 years.

But oh, how he longed to see your face or to hear your voice. So he asked a breeze to report to him what you were up to, and where you were. Just in case! he tells himself, what if you needed help ehe? But he knows you're competent and you won't need the help of a weakling coward like him anytime soon. Or so he thought.

Because when the breeze only gives him a few words back, his blood runs cold.

"Please, anybody... Just help me."

-

As you murmured these words in your desperate state, not really for anyone but yourself as a last resort, a prayer of some sort, you tried to stand by leaning yourself on your sword and failing miserably. You didn't dare look up as you heard the loud footsteps of the metal giants coming your way. It was over, and you barely managed to accept it.

As you rested your forehead against the cold handle of your sword, you closed your eyes, tears starting to make their ways out of your closed eyelids. All you could feel was remorse.

A soft breeze moved your hair slightly and your chest felt like a black hole had taken place where your heart used to be, regretting to not have been able to meet him under the tree at Windrise one last time.

The breeze quickly grew stronger, until it felt unnatural and you looked up from the ground, only to close your eyes again immediately when you realized the wind was too powerful for you to keep them open. If you had struggled to see though, you would have been blinded by the white light that soon illuminated the whole ruins. You didn't have enough time to register the situation when you felt a hand being laid atop your shoulder, snaking around your collarbones and pulling you back into... nothing? Another arm circled your weak form and a voice you immediately recognized said

"I've dealt with things worse than you, now crumble."

You realized that if you couldn't feel a chest behind you while still being embraced by his arms, it was because he was floating above you, and not standing behind you. A look in his direction confirmed your suspicions but what stunned you wasn't the fact that he was flying, but the attire he wore. Barely covering his body, a white set made of materials that seemed like clouds and liquid gold contrasted perfectly with his regular green clothes. His hair was glowing green and his eyes that were focused on the ruin guards up ahead had a marvelous shine that you had never seen before. He had that same aura he did the night he freed Stanley, but there was also something different about the way his hands gripped you a little too tightly or the way his voice sounded.

"Venti.." You muttered his name, relief and affection flooding you all at once, in his presence you felt as if nothing bad could happen to you. How foolish could you be, just a few hours ago you were speculating wether or not he had wiped out an entire civilisation and now here you were, being saved by him and feeling safer than you had in months.

"Close your eyes, I don't want give you a headache" he said, slowly floating legs first towards the ground. His unusually serious voice surprised you (and him) but you did as he told you. Letting go of your sword and leaning back into him, you let him deal with the monsters ahead of you.

"It's okay, it's over now" he kneeled to be at your level, his arms still wrapped around you, and you didn't have the energy to fight your urge of nuzzling into him. "I'll always be here for you, wherever there is wind, remember I'm here too. You only need to ask."

Being protected by a god really didn't feel that bad. Especially when you were in love with said god.

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

Thank you so much for reading whatever this is until the end :’)

Don’t hesitate to comment or reblog, tysm <3

Ps: venti loves u and so do i do pls take care of urself mwah