#idk i'm sad right now

[heart-of-the-morningstar]

I really don’t want to sound entitled or like I’m getting worked up over nothing but like...one of my biggest pet peeves is when you message someone and you see that they’ve read your message and they just DON'T RESPOND

I honestly understand that people may be responding and not hit “send” by accident or just outright forget to respond but...I don’t know it just rubs me the wrong way when it happens so frequently. I don’t think it’s too much to ask for something like a “Hey, I’m busy right now, I’ll message back soon” or “I don’t have an answer to your question right now, let me get back to you”. I feel like if you have the time to read the message, you have the time to send a quick response if you don’t have the time to have a full blown conversation.

And especially when you’ve explained how you feel about it more than once. I’m more sad than anything (having RSD really does not help me), I just automatically assume the worst when I don’t get a response when I know they’ve seen the message...am I allowed to feel this way or am I being dramatic?

[dootznbootz]

Fascinating how Polites, the character who is the personification of Odysseus' optimism and is only in 5 songs, is more grieved and appreciated than Eurylochus, a character who is his own person and is in 11 songs.

[amywritesthings]

early this morning i told my partner i was going to announce an indefinite hiatus and abandon my writing altogether while i deal with the grief of what's happening.

i decided to check tiktok (instinct when i'm waiting for my bagel to heat up) -- the first video was someone saying 'running to spend the week reading fanfic and nothing else'. comments upon comments were asking for fluffy, immersive fics of any kind just to keep people going. to feel something. to have some kind of hope.

my mom and i had a lengthy conversation at 6am about everything, and something she said curbed my crying instantly: "do not let those motherfuckers take your light."

so i won't.

i have really incredible people who interact with my stories, this is my joy and safe space, and as hard as things are right now, as hopeless as i may feel, i can create art and help put some good out there in a time where that light feels dimmed. i will still be kind to myself -- i'm still processing, and i'm sure i won't feel right for a very long time -- but quitting writing and disappearing would only bring joy to the people who want to police art, fiction, humanity.

so i will be working on the drabble challenge through november. i will still post a poll about amymas sometime later this week. i will still open my docs for silver underground, dating mode, seven days, etc. i may need more time. i may be slow. i may start an entirely new wip to cope. but i'll still create.

[lazylittledragon]

i keep trying to think of funny/poetic ways to talk about all the things i'm feeling right now but i honestly can't so. i'm really sad about what happened with my partner. i know he was an inconsiderate prick about it and that i didn't do anything wrong and i couldn't have prevented it but i'm just really fucking sad.

[evilkitten3]

i have a theory about shinji, gin, and aizen, but i'm not really sure how to word it.

we never really see shinji and gin interact all that much, which makes sense bc both of them have significantly more important relationships with aizen, but at the same time it's a little odd how much there isn't.

like. gin cut hiyori in half. shinji is understandably pissed about that, but he aims that anger at aizen - and this seems to be one of the very few things in the bleach world that honestly isn't on him bc he never told gin to do that, he never even implied it. hiyori was never a threat to him. hell, we don't even know if she was charging in the right direction; if anything, attacking her implies that she was which is a really stupid thing to do when you're surrounded by a bunch of people who super want you dead and would kill you if they could be sure you weren't tricking them into stabbing each other (ofc it could also be a fakeout but still)

but i don't remember shinji's beef ever really being with gin, even tho he didn't seem to anticipate that gin was working with aizen the whole time during tbtp. so like does he feel responsibility there? cuz gin went straight from academy to 3rd seat and shinji could plausibly feel like that sent him right to aizen bc he doesn't know that gin was always aiming for that. did he blame himself? does he feel like he should've seen it coming? does he still see him as some weird genius kid? does he just view gin as an extension of aizen, which is both dehumanizing to an extent but also entirely fair bc gin did that to himself?

the thing is, since we never really see them interact much, it's kind of only interesting on shinji's side of things, bc gin doesn't really care about much outside of whatever the fuck he thought he was doing and the version of rangiku that he has in his head who needs back something that the real one doesn't ever seem to have realized she lost to begin with. gin's so disconnected with basically everybody that most of the time you can usually assume his thoughts are just "lol. lmao" and there's no reason to think that doesn't extend to shinji as well (gin has deep thoughts on: aizen, ichigo, and matsumoto (massive asterisk on that one ofc) and i think everyone else is kinda set dressing to him lmao the guy is Fucked Up)

anyway i think it's interesting to toy around with that relationship as it was in reality as well as how it might've been perceived, but also in the sense of both of them being sort of opposite ends of the manchild spectrum - shinji leans into his childish side but still has a fairly adult worldview, and gin is able to pull off maturity to an extent but was never able to escape a deeply childish mindset

[soulmvtes]

feeling a bit sad tonight

[fisheito]

collab #2 with @xenole i was given a chibi yakumo and i.. i...... turned it into thiS

[ladsofsorrow24]

idk why i'm crying from this scene lol but...

i did. i'm crying right now.

[m-a-r-i--c-h-a-t]

but who told them all my distorted thoughts lmao

[20001541]

What do you think about afo being touch starved and having depression?

well afo decided to only let one person be close to his heart and treated everyone else like disposables so I would say he is both touch starved and depressed, but acts as though he's not lol. it's what happens when you decide to put all your needs onto one person and close yourself off to everyone else.

I don't headcanon afo to be super affectionate, an unpopular opinion, but humans do desire touch from other humans so he would feel the ache of that absence of touch in his life which is why getting yoichi back is so important as that's the only person he feels that could fulfill his emotional needs.

I do think yoichi felt suffocated often because of this and felt an obligation to stay with him when he was alive as without him who else would afo have? of course after afo goes too far he decided to leave, but I think not wanting his brother to be alone was a contributing factor for yoichi staying with him for so long as it's never hinted at that he wanted to leave before the vault incident.

the depression didn't kick in until after yoichi died and was at it's worse during the time from the sewers to where he's sitting alone and realizes a part of yoichi is still out there. it improved once he got his hope renewed that he could get some form of yoichi back, but it never truly leaves him.

the fact that he changed tenko's name to tomura is the biggest piece of evidence of this to me as the name tomura it means "to mourn". knowing how afo had intended to take over his body I think it's fitting he gives his vessel that name as his whole life has been defined by grieving. with grief being his main motivator for majority of the story to how much grief we see him inflict on others throughout it.

so I do think he's touch starved and depressed and it affects him deeply, but he did dig his own grave in that aspect so he has no one to blame but himself for that so I'm going to bonk him on the head for it

get bonked idiot

[sleepanonymous]

(source)

Is it missing III hours for anyone else? Jic it is, here's some photos of him wearing nifty honeycomb socks.

[danikatze]

[ID in alt text]

Another wip! It's kind of almost done :)

[kanerallels]

Girl help my brain won't brain AGAIN

[silkjade]

i haven’t been here much recently, and i’m sorry i’ve only been negative on the off chance i’ve been online, but let me just say one last piece before the end of this month, so that maybe the next might be better….

[statementlou]

.

[disposal-blueeee]

halloween thing i drew for an art trade with @cherry-207 ! she asked for edgar and scri dressed as angel and devil . you can see her part here !

edgar vargas belongs to jhonen vasquez

scriabin belongs to @zarla-s