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zukuist · 4 years ago

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𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐞

200 followers special

includes: multiple characters (would add more tags but.. i reached 30 ;;)

your name is shortened to y/n, they/them pronouns

notes: thank you for 200 followers! this isn’t really going to be that long, but im just doing the characters i really like so ;; ALSO I MIGHT’VE GOTTEN KIRI’S ENTRY A LITTLE WRONG so ugh sorry ;;

—

shouto todoroki

— THE OBSERVANT SIMP

from the start, he’s quite oblivious to certain things, (social ques, signs of romantic interest, etc.)

but when he’s observant with someone, then that totally means you’re special to him. does he realize how much he pays attention to you? hmm.. maybe?

he’s going to be the first one that notices you’re hungry, even if you don’t realize it yourself. he’s quick to grab a snack and break it open to you

same thing with being thirsty— if he notices that your water bottle is empty, he’ll quickly find the nearest vending machine and buy a bottle.

temperature is also no problem. he can immediately tell whenever someone’s cold; but he usually helps you first

too hot? he’s slowly putting down the room’s temperature

too cold? his left palm starts emitting some sort of heat in your direction, hoping it creates some sort of aid

if your shoelaces are undone, and/or he notices that there’s a button undone on your shirt— he’ll fix it for you

will ask to take your pictures on dates, and he’ll also help you pick out the best photo (not that any photo of you is short of any beauty)

in short— people will notice that he’s actually a big simp for you; because of how observant he is with you specifically.

katsuki bakugou

— THE TSUNDERE SIMP

just because he’s simping for you doesn’t mean he’ll treat you any differently. bakugou will be bakugou, and you eventually learn how to adapt to that.

but even so, his simp habits slip out sometimes.

when he’s cooking, he’ll accidentally make too much to eat, and he’ll coincidentally put the extras in another box and hand it to you

he’s a good student, even with studies. but would he say he’s a good teacher? hm. probably not

but if he notices you need help, he’ll sigh, feining annoyance as he decides to tutor y’all, because those ‘idiots’ are hopeless

rolls his eyes when he sees food on your cheek, but he’ll grab a tissue and wipe it off for you— claiming how you’re so messy.

he’ll act like he hates hearing your ‘annoying ass singing’ but he’ll lean against the doorway and listen to you rock out to whatever song you’re singing to.

denki will call him a simp for looking after you, and bakugou will just yell at him to “SHUT UP” >:T

he secretly likes taking care of you. his words aren’t the softest thing in the world, but his actions make up to it.

izuku midoriya

— THE DETAILED SIMP

as katsuki bakugou would call him; he is a nerd

he definitely meant that as an insult, but his input on detail makes it very useful in things like relationships

he remembers every detail of your quirk, your limits, potential secret moves.

it would’ve been stalker-ish, if it weren’t for the fact that deku does this out of admiration for his s/o

so if you so happen to collapse due to overusing your quirk— deku has a detailed plan on what to do. it’s almost scary.

he puts detail in a lot of things, anniversary gifts, birthday gifts, and so on.

deku’s also the type to plan things weeks before it actually happens. like.. planning out the perfect birthday gift

and with this, his memory is really good. so it’s very unlikely that he’ll just suddenly forget anniversaries and birthdays.

i hc deku as a bad cook, so he eats takeout food more than his homemade food

but he’s takes note of your allergies, your dislikes with food— and he finds himself mumbling small details to recall what you like

when you walk out in pretty/good outfits for dates

his face will break out into shades of red— suddenly rambling all the good details of your outfit, complimenting you while he’s at it

“y/n’s looks fantastic as always. i might die from their beauty”

if anyone calls him a simp, he’ll be really embarrassed about it. “me? a s-simp? is that a bad thing?”

just tell him it’s fine.

denki kaminari

— THE HYPEMAN SIMP

a big simp

like.. really big

he worships the ground you step on, and hypes up everything you do

y’all know when irene from red velvet literally breathed in north korea, and the crowd just

*claps*

yeah, that’s denki to you

it’s so blantly obvious that he’s simping over someone, and everyone’s just kinda used to it at this point

he’s just a big fanboy sometimes

whenever you’re sparring with someone, he’s always in the background like

“go s/o!!” 🤩

and he has tendencies to go a little easy on you like.. what’s he gonna do when you get electricuted??

but that doesn’t mean he’s never serious— nah.

there are times where he’s just a little bashful just being in your presence

sneaking glances your way, as he silently fanboys about you in general.

“s/o looks really good today. they always look good but !!”

when y’all weren’t together, the bakusquad was just tired of the constant romantic pining

it was really obvious that he was simping back then, and they’re not so sure as to how you didn’t say anything about it

mina always called him a simp

so yeah!! it was a big relief when you got together with him. he never makes you feel terrible, because he’s always your #1 hypeman.

eijirou kirishima

— THE HELPING SIMP (rip idk what to call this)

i didn’t really know what kinda name i went for this one but let me carry on

kiri upfront is very confident, and friendly. he never shows a mean side to anyone,

and there are rare cases of him being bashful

he’s kinda almost like a golden retriever? since he’s always nice and friendly to everyone

but then when you enter the room; he suddenly goes quiet, and he’s left alone with his rather loud thoughts about you

he didn’t really know how to properly approach you at first

but him being kiri, he’s still rather friendly to you (for now)

when he’s messing around, practically sharing one braincell with kami and sero

and then you suddenly walk in— he snaps out of his foolishness, and greet you with his very warm smile

“hey y/n!” he waves at you, and he hopes you don’t mention the teasing look on both kami and sero’s face

sometimes when he’s doing his close combat training, and he notices that he’s getting too close to you

he’ll be like “woah man, maybe we should move locations.” bc he doesn’t wanna hit you by accident ;;

kirishima prefers to not stand near you when his hair is all spiky. like he’s never conscious about it, until he’s around you

man poked sero with his hair before, and he doesn’t want to do that to you

kiri always looks at your hand, just to see if it’s occupied with something. his thoughts linger to what your hand might feel like

“their hand looks really.. soft. argh! i shouldn’t be thinking about these kind of things in public! im sorry y/n”

bakugou really only notices kirishima’s simping ways

bakugou always mentions the fact that kirishima goes really silent whenever you’re around—

and he’s secretly contemplating on having you around more so he can just shut up 。・°°・(＞_＜)・°°・。

moving aside all of that, kiri always carries your things.

you’ll beg him to give you at least one thing, and he’ll say no because it’s “not manly to let someone carry all of this.”

if you’re sad, he’s the first one to cheer you up— reassuring you that everything will be okay.

kiri��s just wants to be at your service at all times! it’s manly to help people, right?

hitoshi shinsou

— THE DISCREET SIMP

no one would be able to tell that he’s simping for someone

because unlike kaminari; he’s not like IM HITOSHI SHINSO AND IM ACTUALLY A SIMP

he’s a lot more discreet, and no one has really caught on, besides you and kaminari of course

he’s a lot less sarcastic with you, asking you about anything that’s happened instead of just being there

he prefers it to hear you talk. the way each word and syllable rolls off your tongue smoothly, and the way you use your hands to emphasize things

he’s amused.

oh and the way he looks at you? almost any normal person can sense the simp in him pop out (he’s so contained though)

he’s definitely the person that’ll get rid of any bug that’s terrifying you— even though he’d normally just leave it to them

he’ll do it, regardless if it’s the biggest fucking spider he’s ever seen, or the smallest spider

he’ll do it to make you feel safe.

he has these random spurs of compliments during the day

the source mainly comes from his staring habit

and they’re just so unexpected and out of the blue. hitoshi’s amused whenever he sees your reaction to his compliments

like.. you could be really frustrated about something, and he’ll just go “your eyes are pretty.” that’s his discreet method tO MAKE YOU TEMPORARILY DISTRACTED FROM THE ISSUE—

call him a simp, whatever. it’s true anyway so he doesn’t why should he be ashamed of it?

he’s discreet about it, since it’s your business and his business. but you can definitely feel his feelings loud and clear

neito monoma

— THE 180 SIMP

“i’m not a simp!”

[you enter the room]

*nervous laughter*

he had his last laugh, and he never thought he’d be this soft around someone.

especially if you’re from class 1-A like.. i became the thing i hated, ugh.

relentless teasing is amped but this is his way of making sure you remember him loud and clear

but he’ll never tease you in a condescending way— like how he torments the rest of class 1-A

that’s reserved for them 💅

always compliments you, that’s the first thing he does when he sees you—

and they’re never generic compliments either

“it’s nice to see you here, y/n! you make the world better day by day!”

“i’m still wondering what you’re doing in class 1-A, you’re much better than them!”

everyone secretly wonders how you got monoma to like you

monoma canonically likes pastels. spread the word

so sometimes, you’ll walk over to your desk— and you’ll just see this random pastel ornament sitting on your desk

you know who it’s from

whenever monoma starts becoming annoying, kendo will definitely use you as a weapon to make him shut up

he’ll be laughing at the expression on his face, thinking he’s absolutely winning at this

but the smile is wiped off his face when he hears “ok go on, i’ll tell y/n about your antics.”

“no, no! i’ll behave now, please don’t tell y/n.”

class 1-b literally use you as blackmail whenever monoma acts up, and it’s because of how different he is around you

like.. his personality takes a 180, (besides the obvious teasing) it’s alarming

—

©️zukuist 2021, bnha|mha belongs to horikoshi kohei. do not repost my work❕

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randompurplepanthergorl · 3 years ago

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AU idea

Fack, I can't stop making AU's can I- But I got another AU, an Eddsworld one specifically, a superhero one specifically

I just love superheros alright-

It's one where the neighbors (including Todd) and the main boys, (including Tord) would be super heros, they have side rivalry's but they all have one goal, take down the big main villain

Edd: We all know Poweredd, no need to introduce him, but he also has telekinesis in this AU because it's funny to think about, and because I said so, he's the leader of his crew as always to stop Numero Uno and his team

Tom: He's basically the same- But he now uses his monster form to save people I guess??? IDK He does not really NEED much change for a super hero AU

Tord: He would probably have a wrestler-like name that sounds like it belongs to a villain to "sound cool" or whatever, like "The red destroyer" or "Skull smasher" or somth, but he has no powers of his own, his "power" is his giant robot which also counts as his suit, his robot's now dressed like an anime-magical-girl magical-girl wand and everything, you can STILL recognize it as "Tordbot" it's just dressed like an anime magical girl- Like just picture the Tordbot wearing something like this:

Matt: HE'S NOW MATT GOKU

/j /j /j /j /j /j /j /j /j /j /j

(The image is not mine I found it in the wiki's gallery)

Nah I have a proper concept for him for this AU,

So he'd be called "Mirror Man" or "Mirror Justice" or- something to do with mirrors-

He now lives in like a "mirror world", how it works is like picture a gigantic invisible bubble in the real world, and it follows Matt everywhere and he lives in it, Matt is the only one in the mirror world who can touch and interact with things in the real world, he can also be seen unlike everything/everyone else who enters the mirror world but he can chose not to, if your in the mirror world you cannot directly be seen, you can only be seen in reflective surfaces like an actual mirror or a puddle or a shiny object, etc. etc. this applys to objects too and Matt can chose if this applies to him or not as well at anytime he wishes, you also cannot touch anything unless it is in the mirror world, say there is a book, you can see it but you wont be able to touch it unless Matt brings it into the mirror world but once it's in the mirror world everyone in the real world cannot see it or touch it, unless your Matt

I hope that was not confusing- That's the best I can describe it-

For his suit I'm thinking like a purple full body suit with maybe dress like features and it's purple and teal and has these mirrors on it, not a shit ton but a few here and there like maybe 3-4 on the whole suit and they're small mirrors

Eduardo: Again, we already know Numero Uno, no need to introduce him but just like PowerEdd he also has Telekinesis because I said so

Jon:

He's just Danny Phantom now/hj

So Jon died, not by Tord by some other cause and while dead he figured out how to turn human so now he's like part human part ghost somehow?

I'm not sure on his super name, maybe Jonny Phantom(/j) but I don't think he needs one cause he's a more "Help and fight from the shadows" hero

And I don't think he needs a suit since he's invisible to the naked eye in ghost form

Todd:

You know the show Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts?

So in the series Kipo is like half mega mute well that's kind of my Todd in this AU

So like Kipo, Todd can turn his hands into these giant jaguar paws, he can gain the jaguar ears and listen with them he can just straight up turn into a fuggin godzilla sized jaguar with three tails and six legs and all that

So basically in a nutshell he steals her powers in this AU without "Stealing them" technically, like he has the same powers Kipo does

Todd just, does not use an alt identity, he wears his alt outfit he wears when adventuring (Literally the same outfit but he took his dress shirt off leaving only his tanktop under it-) but that's it- The others claim this is risky but Todd is like "Dude I can just crush the threat with my Jaguar paws it's fine"

Mark:

WOLF MAN WOLF MAN WOLF MA-

His is a little wonky-

So Mark is one of those night heros that only appear at night, he's a werewolf and uses his wolf form as a super form leading to him to only show up at nights there is a full moon

his hero name could have something to do with wolfs or somth

And for his super suit/form just picture a buff ass blond wolf man in a ripped royal purple super suit :P

And thats it!

.....

You REALLY thought I was done?

There's a little more!

Paul's a superhero too,

So he's like an angry fairy dude, he's human sized but a fairy, like just picture Paul in a ballerina outfit and with the fluffy fairy wings

Paul has a magic wand but it's not really magic, he just beats people with it instead lmao, and his preferred magic wand is a gun :)

He also has fairy powers but he mostly only just uses the wings while instead shooting bad guys and beating them with the wand

I'll also talk about the big main villain, I won't say who he is but I'll let y'all just assume since-

Just-

Just take one look at my current pfp-

So the main villain has powers of darkness and destruction, he can kill you with a simple spell and is heavily insane- He also has the ability to turn anyone into his little "Puppets" and pull the strings and make you do as he wishes easy he also hides in the shadows like a snake and plays this little "game" of his seeing the heros as his "puppets" on his quest for more power

I like this AU I just made :D

#ew au #eddsworld au #ew super au #eddsworld super au #eddsworld #ew edd #ew eduardo #ew tom #ew jon #ew tord #ew todd #ew matt #ew mark #ew paul #ew patryck

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bubbly-bungee-may · 4 years ago

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ZoNa Valentine’s Week: Day 4 Why I Ship ZoNa: Part 1

So because i’ve never explained why I ship ZoNa, I’ve decided to use this Valentine’s Week as an excuse to make 3 separate posts on why I ship them.

They will be long posts because I am relying on the gifs I made of the anime rather than the manga (even though the manga may be more accurate, but I just started reading the manga so give me some time lol)

OKAY LET’S START.....

So just as a preface: First and foremost these two have known each other the longest. I’m not saying that in order to be a couple you need to know someone for a long time, but in ZoNa’s case I feel like it’s an important part of their relationship.

They started out as friends then shit went down in Arlong Park (namely where Nami plays the villain for a hot second and that shakes Zoro up cause he had trusted her) but then everything was settled and they went back to being friends.

I feel like that incident was necessary not only for the plot, but for Zoro and Nami’s relationship to develop. After everything, they now have full trust in the other and their relationship was able to evolve.

This all leads me to my first reason as to why I ship ZoNa:

1. They are friends FIRST

Yes, I ship them as a couple, but I believe that all successful relationships begin as friends (that’s just my own personal belief). A foundation built on friendship and mutual understanding and trust is what I believe allows this ship to sail.

And despite the fact that everyone thinks Nami and Zoro are only capable of fighting and butting heads, they are actually very good friends who are capable of holding normal conversations.

Exhibit A (Ep.54) : Nami took notice of how Zoro was acting strange and commented on it. She’s aware of his presence and isn’t just writing him off. And this also shows that she cares about him.

Exhibit B (Ep. 62) : Zoro wanted Nami’s opinion on what the strange sound he heard was. Also Nami is taking the time to answer him; she could’ve just ignored him completely but she decided to pay him attention.

Exhibit C (Ep. 154): This is a very brief moment, but Zoro and Nami have a conversation about dropping anchor and the layout of the island. And they are both on the ship alone and idk I like to think that Zoro was waiting for Nami to be done changing so that they could go on the island together.

Exhibit D (Ep. 161): Nami wanting Zoro’s opinion as to if he saw anything. Just shows that she trusts his judgment and how she can rely on him.

Exhibit E (Ep. 161): Short conversation, but still important. Zoro is showing concern and care for Nami by telling her to be more careful. And Nami is replying sincerely.

Exhibit F (Ep. 217): Zoro notices Nami is mad without even looking at her. If that doesn’t tell you how well he knows her by now, then idk what does. But it’s also important that Zoro is listening to her concerns and commenting on them.

So YES, they can hold normal conversations, here is the proof! And having known each other the longest, they also know the other well.

Zoro can spot Nami’s money obsession anytime, anywhere. (Ep.105)

And Nami knows how much Zoro loves sake, so she went out of her way to get it for him. (look at how happy he is hehe) (Ep. 255)

And this ⤵ gif (Ep. 159) is one of my newfound favorite moments and leads us into the next reason. It’s not in the manga, but maybe the animators are also ZoNa fans....??

2. They are comfortable around eachother.

Okay, but doesn’t it seem like Zoro is teasing Nami?!?! She almost ran into a tree and then Zoro is like “oooo a perfect opportunity to tease her”. Idk I just found this part super cute. Like Zoro isn’t usually one to be playful like this, but he is with Nami and ughhh it’s so cute!

And then the multiple times that Zoro is seen sitting/sleeping next to/near Nami. It just shows that they don’t mind each other’s company and honestly (intentional or not) I think they gravitate towards each other because of how comfortable they are with each other.

Exhibit A (46): He came to sit next to her during breakfast when he could’ve sat down next to his captain. Like is this his seat? Has he claimed the spot next to Nami as his own? ..... I like to think so.

Exhibit B (48): The start of Zoro’s debt. I just love how Nami leans in and he doesn’t seem to mind it hehe.

Exhibit C (Episode of Alabasta): The circumstance here was a bit different, but I like to think that she just wanted to be close to Zoro. And idc who tf you are, but if you were in Zoro’s position you can’t just not think about or be conscious about the woman on you. Like yeah you can call yourself friends, but you gotta be at least a bit conscious of where you’re touching and what’s touching you.

Exhibit D (Ep.149) : The start of the famed drinking buddies act. Nami moved here after pouring Robin a drink so I like to think that she felt comfortable and decided to settle down next to him. So i’m guessing Zoro’s seat is next to Nami during breakfast, and Nami’s seat is next to Zoro when they’re drinking?!

Exhibit E (Ep. 193): Psssst Zoro, just scoot your hand over a smidgen

Exhibit F (Ep. 225) : Before one of my favorite parts in the Foxy Arc (that will be shown in another part hehe).

Exhibit G (Ep 228): The two of them were up here alone before Sanji came. I like to think that Nami was relaxing and then Zoro came up wordlessly and just plopped down and fell asleep (before Sanji interrupted)

Exhibit H ( Ep 554): Honestly, Zoro is used to it at this point. And this just proves that Nami believes in his strength and believes that he will protect her no matter what.

Exhibit I (569): Ah yes the drinking buddies, an upgrade from Sky Island.

Exhibit J (569): Ah yes the sobering-up buddies. I made another post (here) on this, but I like to think Zoro likes being near her so he can protect her.

Now, I’d also like to make the argument that them butting heads is actually proof of how close they are.

Nami isn’t afraid of getting close to him and giving him a piece of her mind. Remember in my previous post when Zoro does this with Nami (who is Sanji in Nami’s body). Yeah, they def don’t mind being close to each other even when it comes to arguing.

(Ep 93)

You’d think Zoro would learn that he can rarely win an argument with Nami, but nah, that ain’t Zoro. Personally, I think Zoro low key likes arguing with her. Aside from Nami the only one he really argues with is Sanji (but even then what they argue about is usually something petty). (Ep 147)

I really like this gif because it shows that Zoro is trying to explain to Nami why they did what they did. She thinks they were “beaten”, but that isn’t necessarily correct, so he was trying to get her to see the real picture.... which she didn’t. lol (Ep 151)

But if there’s one thing I noticed about Zoro and Nami’s relationship when it comes to arguing, it’s that the other party is trying to get the other one to see from their point of view; they don’t argue just to argue.

Putting aside the fact that they were arguing about marriage (although if they ever did get married I’d think Nami would want something extravagant while Zoro would just be like “whatever just wake me up when I have to go in” ah okay my imagination is running wild.. stop stop)

Anyway, this part is important because this time it’s Nami who is trying to get Zoro to see from her point of view. Of course, she can’t do so without yelling and gnashing teeth, but the sentiment is the same-she wants Zoro to understand where she’s coming from. (Ep 764)

I mean look, friends have differing viewpoints and thoughts. Yes, they may disagree, but in the end it doesn’t really matter because people can still think differently but be close. Ever heard the saying “opposites attract”? yeah, that’s basically ZoNa in a nutshell. They may argue and disagree, but I think that brings them even closer.

And Zoro is usually referred to as the “calm and cool” guy, but the fact that he easily loses his “cool” over something slight that Nami says, idk I just find that cute that she’s able to get under his skin like that.

I love the dynamic between the two. They’re opposites who like to fight, but always have each other’s backs and couldn’t stand to see the other hurt.

#zona #zonami #zonalove #zonaforever #one piece #nami one piece #zoro one piece #nami #zoro #only otp #one piece otp

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goldenkookietae · 4 years ago

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Love Borrowed (M) | KNJ

BTS One shot

Pairing: Musician!Namjoon x reader

Word count: 7,011 words

Warnings: fluff, cute, excessive love for books (not really a warning but idk), little heartbreak(?), smut

Summary: It’s been a long time since you’ve visited the local library. But when you do, you didn’t expect to bump into Kim Namjoon, a book lover just like you. When you start spending all of your time together, you realise that maybe everything in those romantic novels you loved could actually happen in real life.

A/N: Omg, I just added this one to my personal favourites and I am so surprised that I was able to finish this faster than my other ones. Anything that crosses your mind while reading this, comment or send me an ask! Hope y’all enjoy it!

Disclaimer: This story is an AU fan fiction that I have created using the names of the members of BTS. I do not claim any ownership over the members of BTS. The plot and the personalities of the characters are entirely my own.

Do not plagiarise my work and do not repost.

Moodboard

*I do not claim ownership over any of the pictures. They are credited to their original owners.

Stepping out of the house that day felt different. No one was giving her worried stares, no one was trying to convince her to stay home and no one had so far, looked at her with pitiful eyes. Y/N felt free after a very long time. It wasn’t as though the people around her were very controlling, not at all. It was just something everyone did while looking out for their loved ones.

A soft breeze ruffled her hair, stray strands moving to cover her face as she walked down the road she knew like the back of her hand. Pushing them behind her ear, she sighed in content, her eyes locking onto her destination. A small village where everyone knew each other, and everything was just a walk away. Nothing had changed much, except for her.

The local library was an old building, not the most famous, only recalled by youngsters struggling with assignments and a few rare people with a penchant for reading. That was why she was there that day, a familiar feeling of comfort settling into her bones as she entered the brick building. There were only about five people inside, maybe a few more in between the shelves, but she could see only students sitting in different corners, for what Y/N assumed was more focus.

The walls were lined with huge shelves of books, some old and rusty, some stained and a few looking brand new which were definitely added recently. Y/N usually preferred books that had a used feel to them, it was somehow better than the stiff pages of books never touched before. The yellow pages gave her an odd sense of relief and unlike other book lovers, she enjoyed marking her books and dog-earing the pages.

The old lady who usually looked over the library was missing that day, but it was evident that no one ever stole anything from the place. People had a sense of trust there, remembering to return books and making sure they were put back in the right shelf. In a way, that was the respect the old lady had earned from the visitors through the years of manning the place.

Y/N stopped in front of a shelf randomly, inspecting the spines of books trying to choose which ones she could take home. The shelves went up as high as the roof (which was actually pretty low) and Y/N was suddenly reminded of the library at Hogwarts. Chucking the Harry Potter books into the must-read list, her gaze went higher, and she came across a book that looked more like a diary, thick brown leather and a tie going around it and disappearing behind. Curiously, she pulled a ladder towards herself and climbed up slowly, clutching the shelves to keep herself steady. As soon as her hands caught the spine, she quickly came down, knowing she might just topple off being the clumsy person that she was.

“Hi.” She jerked when the voice sounded much too loud in the silence of the library, turning around and being faced with a broad chest. Blushing, she looked up at the person, and the first thing she noticed was a dimpled smile. Glasses drooped from the bridge of his nose as he tilted down to look at her. His brown hair fell to the top of his ears, lightly parted in the middle to give a glimpse of his forehead.

This man was beautiful. Even more so when he raised his eyebrows at her and touched her arm lightly.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” He muttered and Y/N shook her head smiling.

��No, I was just surprised that’s all.” She said, holding her book tighter to her chest and squeezing it lightly.

“I’m Namjoon. I’m new here.” He held out his hand and Y/N took it immediately, gripping his warm hand and giving it a light shake.

“Y/N.” She said, and when she was about to pull back, Namjoon caught her hand and jiggled it quickly, then swung their hands side to side. To most it might’ve looked weird but Y/N recognised it immediately.

“No one has ever given me a Narnian handshake before.” She laughed and Namjoon followed. It was surprising that this small reference to a movie she’d watched as a kid brought about a burst of comfort while she was in the presence of this stranger, because they were still swinging their hands and neither one of them felt awkward about it.

And that was the beginning of their friendship, that would soon turn into more. Over the next week, they visited the library often, and in between those days, the excitement that came with going to the library shifted from the love of books to the loving company of each other. Y/N found herself struggling to remain silent at times, trying to hide her giggles at the goofy faces Namjoon made from across the shelves.

They fell into a routine of reading, picking a book as soon as they came in and competing as to who would finish their book sooner. The next day, they would exchange their books and the battle for the fastest reader began all over again. Once both were done, they would review each one, telling each other their favourite parts and their interpretations of the how the author meant to deliver certain lines.

Y/N wished she could do this all her life. She was starting to lose these battles, often opting to stare at the man across her than the letters in her book. The book was definitely interesting, and on any other day, she would’ve been so immersed in it that she would skip her meals. But that day, Kim Namjoon, who was reading, sat on the floor across her, his hair tucked into a beret, glasses sitting low on his nose and his back leaning against the shelf, legs crossed and the evening sun casting a golden glow upon him - he, had all her attention. Y/N watched him from the top of her book as his lips lifted into a small smile at what she assumed was a good part in the book. She would definitely hear all about it later from him and she wouldn’t dare forget.

How could this man be so beautiful? How could he, who she barely knew anything about apart from the fact that he loved reading and was a hopeless romantic just like her, be so attracted to him? So much that he was all she could think about every second of the day.

Before she could decide to look away, Namjoon’s gaze abruptly shifted to her and in that moment she froze, her eyes not leaving his and accepting the fact that he’d caught her staring. This happened much too often these days, when they’d pick their books and accidentally catch each other on opposite sides, or when they were both reaching for the same book.

Y/N still couldn’t forget the one time that she’d caught him staring at her while she was reading a Sherlock Holmes mystery. They both knew she’d caught him, but Namjoon had played it off as something so normal, going so far as to pull her bottom lip from between her teeth and telling her, “You look adorable when you read.”

Her cheeks blushed a furious red every time she remembered that day and it didn’t get any better when such compliments became more frequent.

Her heart thumped when Namjoon got up and walked over to her, sitting so close to her that their sides were pressed against each other. Y/N liked the warmth and wondered why they hadn’t done that before.

She turned her head towards Namjoon, when he cleared his throat, something he usually did when he first spoke after a stretch of silence.

“Y/N, I was wondering. Maybe we could read somewhere else tomorrow? I was out cycling last night and I found this amazing place and it’d would make an awesome place to read. You can read in the open air, with a cool breeze and we could bring some food along too. Like a picnic! I know you’ll love it!” Namjoon looked at her nervously, waiting to see if she would share the same opinion as him.

He didn’t have to wait for long. The beautiful description that Namjoon gave her already had her agreeing, but the shine in his eyes when he spoke about it and the way he’d thought of sharing this amazing place with her was what made her heart flutter.

“Of course. Come pick me up tomorrow at my house.” She said, trying to sound casual and hoping to god that he couldn’t hear her heart thundering inside her chest.

And as she sat down on the blue blanket laid on the grass the next day, her heart was still beating out of her chest as she watched Namjoon carry the picnic basket to put it in front of her and then laying down spread eagled. The place really was beautiful, a small clearing in the middle of a field, the sound of a gurgling water from a nearby stream soothing to listen to. She looked down at the man who’d brought her to that place as she fiddled with her hands.

Hesitantly she reached out her hands and touched his hair, and she sighed at how soft it felt. Without thinking much she carded her hands through his hair, noticing that Namjoon had closed his eyes.

“Why did you shift here?” She asked suddenly, the thought of a successful music composer shifting to a small town unexpectedly made her believe that it wasn’t just a casual thing like he’d said before. She half expected her question to go unanswered, thinking Namjoon might’ve dozed off.

But he answered a few minutes later, his eyes still closed as he lifted his head from the blanket onto her lap.

“When I first moved into the city, I loved it. It made me feel important in a way, the busy roads, the constant phone calls, meeting so many few faces, it was all so new. But, it got really tiring you know? I started disliking everything about it, I realised my life had become so hectic, so chaotic, that I actually had no time for myself. I was so lost trying to make a place for myself, I think I lost myself somewhere along the way.” Namjoon paused.

He had no idea why he had decided to spill everything, he hadn’t even answered her question but he knew her. He knew she would understand him, at least that was what he hoped. He didn’t dare open his eyes, because he was scared of what he would see. What if she was uncomfortable and didn’t really want to listen to him talk about his problems? An apology was at the tip of his tongue, guilty for dumping his thoughts onto her out of the blue.

“What made you realise?” Y/N asked, and Namjoon felt his shoulders relax. Her tone sounded sincere, and with all that he knew about her, he could tell that she wanted to know and wasn’t asking just because she felt obligated to.

“Two years ago, it was summer, and one of my friends visited this town. When he came back, I could see the change in him. He seemed much more happy, constantly reliving memories from his trip. It was clear that he met someone there, and the letters he would constantly write, all the time he spent talking on the phone and the kind of songs he wrote, it was obvious. Be it that person, or the town or the people here, it had inspired him to do better. So that’s why I came here. To find inspiration.” he finished. He restrained from telling her more, constantly biting his tongue so as to not slip something she wasn’t ready for yet.

“Did you find it?” Y/N asked, her voice small while she absorbed everything Namjoon had said. At that his eyes finally opened, looking up at her as though he had seen the shining stars in her eyes for the first time.

“Yes, I definitely did.” He whispered, and with slow movements so as to not startle her, he brought his hands to rest on Y/N’s cheeks, praying that she was okay with their pace. After all, she didn’t know him like he knew her. Her comfort was the top most priority and he would do anything to keep her at ease. When he saw her cheeks darken and grow warm in his hands, his eyes slipped to her lips and back up to her eyes, only to notice that she was staring at his lips too.

He pulled her face closer to his, watching her reaction, a bated breath and a million thundering heart beats later, their lips finally touched. And in that moment, everything in his life felt complete again. Their lips moved together in sync, and Y/N was amazed at how wondrous it felt. How right it felt. Her body responded to his touch so spontaneously that it was hard to believe that she’d met this man just a month ago. He kissed her and held her like she was his entire world and she kissed him back like he was her home.

When they both parted for air, she rested her forehead against his, her form bent over him while her arms went around his neck and laid on his chest. They both breathed heavily, Y/N overwhelmed by all the emotion she felt and Namjoon trying to keep his tears from falling. It had been too long.

Pushing his lips into a smile, he slowly moved from her lap and reached out for the picnic basket that he’d brought. When he opened it, he put out all the food they’d stuffed inside, his hands finding the one thing he was looking for.

“I brought you a gift.” Namjoon said, making Y/N look at him curiously. Her eyes moved to the small package he held and she already knew what it was. Judging by the paper brown cover and the slim but stiff shape, it definitely had to be a book.

She took it from him greedily, carefully tilting the package and letting the book fall onto her lap. The words “Under the Stars” were printed in stylish cursive on the cover, the background showed the twinkling night sky of a city and a boy donned in a yellow jacket stood with his back facing her. It was definitely not a new book judging by the coffee coloured pages and the dog-eared corners. She quickly flipped through the pages, seeing a lot of places where the sentences were highlighted in different colours and a page where it looked like something had been spilt on it.

“I know it doesn’t look great but, it’s my favourite book. I’ve read it more than a million times and every time I start it again, I just read it like it’s my first time. All the highlights, they’re my favourite lines, all the dog-eared pages, they’re my favourite parts of the story. I wanted you to read it. I think you’ll love it.” Namjoon smiled softly.

Y/N was at a loss for words. His words had stirred something deep inside her, because she was so sure she’d never come across anyone more beautiful than Kim Namjoon - the man who stole her heart, in her entire life. His thoughts, his gestures, his words, everything about him was so pure and so honest, falling in love was inevitable.

She couldn’t help it when she pounced onto him from her place, throwing her arms around his neck and not caring that the force of her attack had made both of them fall backwards. She lay there clutching him close to her, feeling a warmth bloom inside her when his arms wrapped around her waist.

“Thank you. I know I’ll love it.” She whispered, and she felt him smile as his face nestled closer into the crook of her neck.

That night, Y/N sat in bed after a long shower, the sheets pulled over her form as she clutched the book above them. Looking at the book made her feel so giddy, the butterflies in her stomach only multiplying when she touched her lips, feeling the lingering taste of Namjoon’s lips on hers. When he’d kissed her good night after walking her home, it had taken everything in her not to cling to him and stay glued to his side.

Y/N couldn’t believe it was happening, her life seeming like all the love stories she’d read in the novels. Their moments were magical, spell-binding and the only thing that made her afraid was that, all such stories did have a tragic twist, and she hated that the thought had even crossed her mind. Nothing could make her give him up now, and she would prove the fact that not all stories were that complicated.

People meet, like each other, fall in love, get married, have a beautiful family and live happily ever after. That was what would happen. Y/N buried her face in her pillow, blushing at the thought that she’d road mapped her entire life with Namjoon just after their first kiss. Clearing her throat she flipped to the first page of “Under the Stars” and began reading.

“I can’t believe this. This book is enchanting.” she said, two weeks later, her eyes roaming over the coloured pages for the hundredth time. Namjoon laid on the blanket as usual, his head resting on Y/N’s thighs as he read a book while holding it up over his chest. The place had quickly become their special place and they spent most of their time there. However, this time around, their focus was always interrupted by each other, with stolen glances and quick kisses.

“Yes, I know, it’s a beautiful book.” Namjoon said, put his book down on his chest and smiling at her. “I’m glad you like it.”

“I love it. I can’t believe it isn’t more popular. The last part when they’re both at the roof confessing to each other, my favourite.” Y/N enthused, remembering the last pages, where almost every line had been highlighted and all page corners had been folded inwards. It made her feel like there was something about this book that Namjoon was keeping from her and that bothered her. She desperately wanted to know.

“Why’re there three colours here?” She asked as she pointed to the highlights. A few lines were marked in yellow and light pink, and a majority of them were in orange as though both yellow and pink had been used, turning it into a different colour altogether.

Namjoon’s response came all too quickly. “Just colours.” He shrugged, and Y/N couldn’t help but notice that there was a little hesitance in his voice. That only confirmed her suspicion, and at the same time made her feel like she was over thinking things.

“I see.” She said, flipping another page full of colours, this one dog-eared. She heard Namjoon hum, before he was pulling away from her and sitting upright.

“Have I kissed you today?” He asked, his finger tapping against his chin as he pretended to think. Y/N giggled and set aside her book, crossing her arms as she imitated his look.

“I don’t know...have you?” She asked playfully, conveniently pushing aside the fact that they’d spent the whole ride there stealing kisses from each other.

“Don’t think I have.” Namjoon bit his lip and Y/N followed, biting her own.

“No you haven’t.” She told him, watching him crawl closer to her as he stopped inches from her face.

“Better late than never.” Namjoon murmured before pulling Y/N to him, their lips clashing hungrily, a need to feel each other closer etched in their minds. Her hands trailed over his chest and reached behind him, meshing with his soft hair trying to pull him closer. His tongue trailed over her bottom lip softly, waiting, and she let out a tiny gasp as she parted her lips. The soft muscle immediately clashed with hers, and she wondered if she could ever stop herself from kissing him.

His hands on her hips tightened as he pulled her up onto his lap, her legs going around his waist immediately so she could feel him against her. One hand reached up to cup her jaw as he bit on her lip and pulled. A moan spilt from her lips as a low groan rumbled in Namjoon’s chest.

Before she could do the same to him, a splitting ache hit her, a sudden jolt of pain as she pulled away and clutched her head. Her brain went blank, her eyes turned foggy for a few moments before the pain receded in waves, making her breathless and exhausted.

Namjoon sat stock still, his hands holding her steady as he rubbed soothing circles into her back while she recovered. She’d already told him about this, and he’d already seen it happen to her once before and also panicked, but Y/N had explained it to him. Since then, he’d hoped. He hated seeing her in pain, but he hoped it could bring back something.

“I’m sorry, that wasn’t on purpose. I really want to-” Y/N started feeling guilty that something like that had to happen in the middle of such an amazing moment, but Namjoon cut her off.

“It’s okay, love. I know.” He smiled, rubbing her arms and giving her a small kiss on her nose. “Do you want to lie down?” He asked, and she nodded slowly, the need to close her eyes growing even more.

Y/N sighed as she let Namjoon do all the work, clearing up the place for her as she lay down. He quickly joined her side and she wasted no time in turning towards him and laying on his chest. His arm spread underneath her, curling around her shoulder to pull her closer as his bicep acted as her pillow.

His warmth, his musky scent and his steady heartbeat. Those were all she needed to fall asleep.

“I’ll let you borrow that one.”

The words echoed over and over again and Y/N jolted from her sleep. Her forehead was covered with a layer of sweat and her breath came out in pants as she wiped her face with the back of her hand.

The book, those words, they definitely had to be a memory, and even if it wasn’t much, it meant everything to Y/N. It was like looking through a keyhole, being able to see just a glimpse of it, but not knowing what secrets the room held. But somehow, she knew she didn’t need all of those. She’d remembered something that was enough to make her believe of its existence, and the rest, she knew she had someone to depend on for.

That someone was now sitting up with her, hugging her tightly and rocking her as though she had had a nightmare. She smiled. It was good dream, it was a memory.

““I’ll let you borrow that one”, that’s what I’d said. I remember Namjoon, I gave you that book.” She whispered, and felt him stiffen behind her. Those were words he’d dreamed of hearing, never in a million years thought she would say them and now that she had, he had no clue on what to do.

“How much do you remember?” He asked, his voice shaky and he tried to gulp down the lump in his throat. At his words, Y/N looked away from him, her face frowning as she tried to recollect.

“I’m sorry, it’s not much. But I remember using the pink highlighter. I did those, didn’t I? In the book? I’m really sorry, I am trying to remember but I just-ugh.” Y/N grew frustrated that her memory was failing her the one time she had needed it desperately.

After her accident, she had made peace with the fact that she’d lost two years worth of memories, because she had been around the same people all her life who told her all that had happened. But what she did not expect and never gave much thought to was the fact that all her memories with a particular person had been completely wiped out.

Her recovery itself had taken more than six months and she’d had an year to get back to normal when she understood that those memories were gone. But had still left a mark upon her. She just hadn’t tried, she hadn’t known to try and remember things at all. As though her thoughts, were written all over her face, Namjoon clutched her closer, sensing the anger bubbling in her voice.

“Shh...baby it’s not your fault. I’ll tell you everything there is to know. You trust me, don’t you?” Namjoon asked, tilting her chin towards him with a finger making her look him in the eyes.

“Yes. Oh god yes, I do. Please tell me. I’m so sorry I forgot you.” Her voice trembled as the first tear rolled down her cheek and Namjoon wiped it away instantly.

“I’m here now. We’re both here now. Together.” Namjoon whispered, pecking Y/N’s lips softly before sighing. His eyes held a nostalgic look, as he opened up a painful part of his memories.

“Remember that friend I told you about?” He asked, smiling when she nodded quickly, “Well, that was actually me. I visited this town two years ago in summer, and I met you in the library. You bumped into me while searching for a book. It was a fantasy book about werewolves I believe, The Lycan Mark, I think, which I thought was absolutely ridiculous.” Namjoon chuckled as Y/N hit his shoulder playfully, muttering something about werewolves being very interesting.

“Anyway, you gave me the Narnian handshake and pretty much everything happened like it did this time, we read together all the time, and it was then that I’d found this place. I brought you here and we kissed here. You bought ‘Under the Stars’ at a local fair, and you read it first to make sure I’d like it. You marked all your favourite lines and pages with a pink highlighter and gifted it to me one day. I went home and did the same thing with yellow. Most of our favourites were the same, you noticed the orange ones.” He smiled.

“Those three months were the best ever in my life. But then I had to leave, I had visited just for the summer, I had a job back in the city, friends, I had to go back. But we kept in touch, we wrote each other letters like the hopeless romantics we were and we called each other all the time. That happened for around two months.” He sighed, reminiscing all the days, where he’d stare at his phone waiting for it to ring with Y/N’s name.

“And then the accident happened.” Y/N whispered, suddenly feeling an ache in her chest.

“Yes, I know now. I didn’t receive any letters, no calls, and when I called you, the number was out of service. I thought about it for months about what happened, but there was no form of communication. I finally decided that it had just been a summer love, right? And that I should move on, I tried to, for more than an year. But I just got tired of my life there, it wasn’t so exciting without being with you on the phone for hours or opening up your letter. So I came back here to find you, hoping I’d get some explanation.” Namjoon sighed, giving her a sad smile while Y/N clutched his hands in hers.

“How did you know?” She asked, giving his hand a light squeeze.

“The day I met you at the library, you saw me coming towards the building and I recognised you, but you didn’t. I was so confused. I asked the old lady who you were, hoping she’d tell me of anything that had changed about you and she’d just told me everything she knew. For a moment, it felt like my world had turned upside down.” Namjoon chuckled, trying to lighten up the mood when they both knew that he’d been more affected than just that.

“I’m so sorry.” Y/N whispered, bringing his hand to her face and pressing a kiss to his knuckles. Their story was really something like the novels. A fairy tale meeting, happy moments of love. She was right about the tragic twist too, except she didn’t realise until then that it had already happened. But Namjoon was the one who’d fought for her. He had waited patiently and was still doing the same. She couldn’t imagine how difficult it had been for him.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you when you were in the accident. Or when you were recovering. I’m sorry I ever left.” Namjoon gulped, the lump in his throat making itself painful evident as tears brimmed in his eyes.

“Please don’t apologise, all this time, you’ve been trying to make me remember, right from the moment you met me. The handshake, this place, that kiss, the book,” her voice broke as she held back a sob, "I’m sorry it took this long.” she whispered.

Namjoon simply shook his head, bringing her closer and swallowing her sobs as he covered her mouth with his. He kissed her slowly this time, making sure to savour every second of how her lips felt pressed against him. Feeling comfort at the fact that she remembered maybe not all of him, but at least a piece that connected her to him. They could always make new memories.

They were making one right then, holding each other close as realisation dawned upon them. He held her and kissed her like she was his entire world because that’s exactly what she was. And she kissed him back like he was her home, because that was what he was.

Y/N pulled back to look him in the eyes, her hands softly combing through his hair as she looked at him lovingly. Namjoon closed his eyes slowly, sighing in content as he felt the weight and tension of finally drop from his shoulders, his heart now as light as a feather. When his eyes snapped open, he felt the shift in her gaze as she leaned forward and placed a light kiss on his jaw.

The kiss ignited a fire in his chest and it only burned brighter as Y/N continued to pepper his jaw with kisses, slowly trailing down and breathing on his neck. He felt her lips touch his skin and he shivered when she bit him lightly. Cupping her cheeks, he brought her up to his face again, greedily pressing his lips to hers and slipping his tongue into her mouth to taste her.

His hands slipped under her shirt, rubbing the soft skin of her waist, warm against cool skin. He pulled away from her slightly, still brushing his lips against hers and rubbing soothing circles into her skin.

“Are you cold, baby?” Namjoon asked and despite feeling the chill of the evening settle into her bones, she shook her head just as a shiver ran through her. Namjoon smiled as pulled back from her a little, while she followed his movements to stay closer to him. She watched him pull out another blanket from their basket, spreading it open and wrapping it around her shoulders.

Holding on to the edges of the blanket, he pulled her closer, rubbing her arms in attempts to make her warm. Her lips had found their way back to his neck, peppering kisses while moving higher as she kissed right below his ear. As she adjusted herself closer to him, she felt it, his hardness poking her thighs as it strained against the material of his jeans.

Namjoon flushed a beet red and made to move instantly, clutching Y/N to lift her off of him, but she didn’t budge. Her arms tightened around his shoulders as she wiggled in his lap making sure to brush against his bulge in the process. Hesitantly, he pushed his hips upwards and felt a rush of emotion when Y/N threw her head back with her mouth open.

He didn’t want to rush things and he certainly did not want to make her feel pressured into doing something together and so he bit his lip and looked into her eyes, asking her silently if that was what she wanted.

Y/N couldn’t believe this man, always so concerned about her, always trying to put her comfort above his. Maybe, probably, they were moving a little too fast but when Y/N looked into Namjoon’s eyes she knew she couldn’t wait any longer. Who knew what might happen the next day, life was short and full of unexpected twists every nook and corner, and she could only think of making the most of the moment right there, make every second the happiest. Because that was what Namjoon gave her. Happiness.

And even though her eyes had made her intentions clear, she still said them out loud, to make him happy. “I’m sure. I want you, Joon.”

His heart jolted at that, the form of endearment making it beat faster than it already was. Slowly he turned them both around and laid Y/N on the blanket, her hair splaying out around her like a halo. He stared at her for a long moment, memorising they way she looked right then, going over her features repeatedly to ensure he’d never forget. It was only when she pulled him down by the collar of his shirt whining that he let his eyes close.

Their lips never left each others as they clumsily slipped out of their clothes under the blanket, the chilly night breeze hitting their bare skin and Namjoon pulled the blanket tighter around them.

“Tell me to stop if anything is too much, okay? Promise me.” He whispered, his self control teetering at the edge of a cliff, waiting for him to let go. His erection had become painful, and even if she stopped him right then, he would still have to go sit behind a tree and jerk himself off to ever feel peaceful again.

“I promise.” Y/N whispered before she pulled him to her again, while their hands explored each others skin. She glided her hands over his smooth chest and his abdomen, her fingers tracing the small dips of skin at the edges of his abs. Namjoon let out a soft sigh as she flicked his nipple, and she made sure to remember that it was something he enjoyed.

Namjoon trailed kisses down to her chest, placing tiny kisses just at the swell of her breast and sucking on them, creating hues of pink and purple. A hand came up to squeeze her breast, his other holding him above her so as to not crush her with his weight. His mouth covered her breast as he flattened his tongue against the soft flesh and then flicking her nipple making Y/N moan softly. His fingers imitated his moments on her other breast and her hands travelled up his back as she held onto his shoulders.

With her mind in a mess at how hot and bothered Namjoon made her feel, her thighs clenched together instinctively as she struggled to feel pleasure in her attempts to create friction between her thighs. She pushed her hips upward in need, her skin meeting his, as his hardened member settled into the dip between her thighs. Namjoon let out a load groan as he felt her flesh squeeze together against his member, the fractional moment of pleasure making him frustrated and needing more.

Y/N continued to tease him, enjoying the way Namjoon would release soft gasps while he rolled his tongue around her nipples to make her feel the same intensity. When she’d almost become smug with the fact, she felt Namjoon’s fingers slip between her folds, and she let out a strangled gasp.

“So wet.” Namjoon whispered as he spread the arousal dripping between her thighs all over her heat, flicking her clit before experimentally sliding a finger into her wetness. “So tight.” He grunted as Y/N clutched onto him tighter, her nails digging into his skin as she felt her walls squeeze his finger. He was slowly thrusting his fingers into her, setting a steady pace as he added another finger when he felt her relax a little. Her last time had been more than two years ago, and the feeling felt foreign, yet so much needed as she circled her hips against his fingers.

He slowly added a third finger, his pace going a little faster as tiny mewls slipped out of Y/N’s mouth. Even when she was so tight around his fingers, she couldn’t help but feel the need for more, spilling out the same in words that were lost with her moans.

Before he could push her to her edge she gripped his wrist stilling his ministrations while she tried to regain her breathing. Namjoon looked at her with worry, wondering if he’d gone too fast in the heat of the moment, but Y/N’s next words erased all such thoughts from his mind.

“I want you inside me.” She whispered and Namjoon licked his lips as he slipped his fingers out of her and laid his hand on her belly. Fumbling with a pocket of his jeans lying next to their tangled legs, he tore open the wrapper of a condom as he rolled it onto his member in a hurry.

“Did you expect us to do it today?” Y/N giggled amused, watching Namjoon hurry back into place.

“When you’re around someone you like, you always gotta carry stuff around ya know. Wouldn’t want something so trivial put a break to what could be.” Namjoon chuckled, watching Y/N let out another sweet giggle and he beamed at her. Scooping down to indulge in a rather mushy kiss, his hand travelled down to his length.

Rubbing the tip of his member against her folds, he gathered Y/N’s slick arousal and rubbed it over his length , slowly edging into her heat as she held onto him tightly. Y/N let out a low breath, willing herself to relax as she tried to accommodate the stretch from his thick length. A few seconds later, she nodded to him, Namjoon seeing that as the green light and thrusting into her at a slow pace.

As they both moaned together, a sudden urgency creeped up on them, the need to become each other’s tearing through their skin as they moved faster, Namjoon pumping into her at a faster pace and Y/N pushing her hips up to met his hips for every thrust. They couldn’t describe it any other way than the fear of losing each other again, and the what if’s of whether or not they would find each other again. It was a stinging feeling in Namjoon’s mind, the thought of it making his eyes tear at everything he had been through since Y/N had stopped writing to him. Y/N could sense it in the way Namjoon was breathless, and the salty taste that met her lips when they kissed.

“I’m not going anywhere.” She reassured him silently, watching him pull away from her face to look at her, his pace slowing down again. His eyes shone brighter than the stars in the sky, their light somehow dimming in the wake of his mesmerising eyes. Namjoon was astonished that she could tell what he had been thinking and those were the exact words he’d needed to hear.

“I won’t ever let you go.” He vowed, thrusting into her deeply as Y/N moaned, feeling him hit the perfect spot. Everything was heavenly at that moment, they were in each others arms, warm, and were becoming one under the starry sky. The beauty of it was beyond compare and Y/N bit her lip as she felt Namjoon lower down slightly and press his body against hers gently.

A knot grew inside her, and her back arched, pushing her chest to Namjoon’s torso making him grunt. She wrapped her hands his neck instinctively as he buried his face in her nape, his plump lips touching her skin softly. The knot in her stomach grew as Namjoon thrusted into her faster, his hand coming up again to fondle her clit.

With one flick at the nub, the knot unfurled, Y/N shuddering as hot pleasure shot through her body. It left her gasping and moaning, her held tilted to the side and pressed to the blanket and she pinched her eyes shut. With Y/N’s walls clenching around his member, Namjoon followed her into nirvana, his load filling up the condom as he rode out his orgasm moaning Y/N’s name.

He slowly came to a stop, pulling out and ripping the condom off to dispose it. He laid down beside Y/N after, pulling her onto his body so she was laying on his chest. A few synchronised breaths later, they both turned to each and smiling as though they had something in mind.

“I love you.” They whispered together, a smile growing on both of their lips as their cheeks tinted a light pink. Namjoon slowly titled Y/N’s face towards himself with his hand, kissing her softly before touching their foreheads together.

As they lay under the stars, hugging each other tightly, they were both calm and peaceful. They loved each other and were together and nothing could ever keep them apart. Because no matter what, they’d find a way back to each other. They were each others home, and as they rightly say ‘Home is where the heart is’.

A/N: Let me know if you guys want me to write about ‘Under the Stars’ too. If you do, which member au would you like it to be?

Masterlist - Main | Masterlist - Imagines | Navigation

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kaeyas-beloved · 4 years ago

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Wait wait so your thing says request are still close but where u wrote something for someone it said request open so hmm idk ;-;. But just in case there open how about I request a mother MC/father theo from ikemen vampire where theo takes care of there newborn baby for the day this is a weird request DONT kill me ;-;

Hey Anon! Sorry for the confusion and the long wait - and don’t worry, your request isn’t weird at all! But I may have strayed from the request just a teeny tiny bit though... for the most part I think I stuck to the original idea of Theo with his baby for a day.

I hope you enjoy and you can always come back and request again if this wasn’t what you wanted :)

Warning(s): Teeny tiny spoilers for Theo’s route (if you know who Vollard is you’re fine!), One (1) Dutch swear word

A Newborn’s Smile {Theo x MC/Reader}

“Are you sure you’ll be alright Theo?” she asked her husband again, staring up into his calm ocean coloured orbs. Suppressing the urge to roll his eyes, Theo ruffles her hair with a playful smirk on his face.

“What? Think I can’t take care of our daughter?”

“N-no, but-” she began, an anxious look in her eyes. While she may have full confidence that he can handle a day with their child, it’s still going to be the first full day that he’ll be left alone with her.

“Listen Hondje, you go with Sebas and when you get back you’ll see that everything will be the same as you left. Now, no more senseless worrying, it’ll be fine!”

Ten minutes later and everything was, in fact, not fine.

“Now what’s with all this noise?” Dazai rose a brow, having just entered via the mansion’s window, as per usual. Mozart, who rarely ever sat at the table, sighed, taking a sip of his black coffee.

“The girl left with Sebastian to run errands. Theo’s taking care of their baby...” Another ear piercing cry filled the room and they all winced. While the sound was deafening to the ears, the twinge of pain that filled Theo’s chest hurt more. The fact that his pride and joy was crying her little heart out and he wasn’t sure what to do had him completely lost.

‘How does Hondje do it?’

“Theo old boy, you should take a page out of your wife’s book right about now...” Arthur chuckled while rubbing at his temple, the writer only somewhat enjoying the sight of his friend struggling to take care of his kid.

“What do you mean?”

“He means it’s lunch time, she’s probably hungry” Napoleon piped up, emerging from the kitchen with a pre-made bottle in hand. Passing it to the Dutch art dealer, Theo began to feed his daughter, the baby quieting as she drank. Sighs of relief left everyone at the peace they got...

..which was short lived, the little girl beginning to cry once more.

“Well, someone’s not a daddy’s girl~”

“Quiet klootzak!” the baby cried louder, “tch, I’m gonna go see Vincent, he was always good with kids...”

“Best of luck~” Tossing a final glare paired with a scowl at the Brit, the younger van Gogh made his way up to the painter’s room.

“Afternoon Broer, sorry for barging in while you were painting...” Prompted by the sound of his brother’s voice, Vincent set down the brush he held, wiping off as much paint from his hands as possible while smiling.

“It’s alright Theo, I was finishing up anyway! But,” he frowned a little, gazing down with a troubled look at his niece, “you seem to be having a bit of trouble...”

“Yeah.. she’s been crying ever since this morning. Hondje was able to make her stop for the time being but then she left with Sebas and, well...”

“Mm... I see” Vincent hummed, trying to think of a way to help out his little brother.

“Ah! Why not show her the painting? Maybe if she sees it she’ll stop crying! It always worked when you were little!”

The idea was pure, innocent. It quite frankly made Theo embarrassed and for a split second he doubted that it’d really work. But, he reminded himself, Vincent is more experienced with kids than he is - plus, it didn't hurt to try.

“Fine...” stepping up to the coloured canvas, Theo angled his arms so that the little girl could catch a glimpse of the masterpiece. For some time nothing came of it as she continued to wail and Theo sighed, about to throw in the towel, claim that it was pointless and he’d just have to wait until his wife got home.

That was until the crying gradually got quieter and quieter before ceasing altogether.

The brothers stared in astonishment, watching as eyes that resembled the colour of a stormy sea stared in wonder at the painting of a vast ocean. Chubby little hands started to try and reach out to the picture, the little limps desperate to explore the new discovery more. And along with the newfound curiosity was a happy baby grin, a real one at that, and not just one of the usual reflex smiles.

It was truly a sight for sore eyes, a masterpiece that out does any other that the art dealer has seen before. If he’d had the ability to paint like his brother, Theo would’ve captured this moment in a heartbeat.

“Look Theo! She’s smiling! And she likes art just like you!” Vincent laughed joyfully, the smile contagious. At the same time the words spoken to him sparked Theo with an idea of his own.

“You’re a genius Broer! Dank je!”

“But I didn’t do anything- hey! Careful Theo!” Watching as his brother nearly raced out of his room, Vincent stared at the doorway, wondering what went through the other van Gogh’s mind to cause such a reaction.

Vollard’s is where he took her. If his little girl enjoyed his brother’s artwork surely she’d be over the moon with wonder at seeing the bright colours of other young artist’s work.

Turns out, he was right.

Instead of the cries from this morning, squeals of delight and laughter filled the room. Thankfully, none of the people who were expressing their creativity cared, it was a small price to pay if they had the honor of seeing the renown art dealer in such an unguarded and calm state.

This was his element, art having been a large part of his life, and the fact that Theo got to experience something like this with his daughter (no matter how young she is) was nothing short of precious to him, a memory he’d treasure for as long as he lived.

When every nook and cranny of the art studio was explored, Theo went around to other Paris museums, showcasing as much fine art as he could. While the reactions weren’t as lively towards the standard religious paintings, the look of wonder and awe that mirrors his own still remained.

And as afternoon turned to evening, the streets bathed in an orange hue and his daughter having dozed off long ago, Theodorus van Gogh donned one of the softest smiles he’s had in either of his lives. While he gazed down at the sleeping girl the image of her smile from earlier in the day flashed through his mind. Oh how he wished his wife was there to witness it with him.

Theo placed a light kiss to the child’s forehead.

“Rest well mijn schatje...” he whispered, silently promising that for as long as he can, Theo will make sure that his daughter continues to smile as brightly as she did today. Vowing that he’ll protect her happiness from the dangers of the world and doing anything to make sure that the joyful expression on her face stays a constant in all stages of her life.

~~~

*schatje can have the meaning of ‘little treasure’ (which is what I was going for in this)*

As of me posting this, requests are open [check my bio though to be sure]! Don’t forget to check the rules too for the fandoms/topics I write for (which are linked in my masterlist)!

Masterlist

#ikevamp theo #ikemen vampire #theo x reader #ikevam x reader #ikevam fanfic #ikevamp #ikevamp theo x reader #ikemen vampire theo #ikevam theo #ikevam theo x reader #ikemen vampire theo x reader #ikemen vampire theodorus #ikevamp theodorus

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logsfm · 4 years ago

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hey my loves ! i’m mia , 21 from the east coast ! i have not roleplayed in sheeeesh ... like five or six months ? but i am so excited to be here for opening with all of y’all . i spent like all morning trying to weed out this gal logan right here ... she’s a trip , that’s the best overall description i have for ya . anywho , lets get to the actual thing you’re here for her lil intro . also if you wanna mssg on discord here ya go 𝐤𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐯𝐬 𝖜𝖍𝖔𝖗𝖊#7040 .

logan samara-de jaager was spotted in the fashion district adorning air force 1’s university blue , with some airpod pros on . they’re most likely listening to benz i know by kelvyn colt . you may know them as @delogan or as that bella hadid lookalike . their twenty fourth birthday just passed . while living in the upper east side , they’ve gained a bit of a reputation . they’re known to be querulous but on the other hand passionate . wonder if they’ll be the next person to hit the headlines . ( cisfemale / she/her + mia / twenty one / she/her ) + ( “ logan de jaager seen shoving ex in hotel footage during heated argument , not so sweet huh? ” / “ miss de jaager was spotted sneaking into ex beau’s apartment , what could she be up to? ” / “ sweet socialite or greedy trust fund baby ? milan de jaager publicly accuses daughter logan of stealing $1M … ” )

born into the true lap of luxury . the daughter of real estate magnate & high - profile attorney milan de jaager and his wife , british born socialite lana samara . the two of them held high favor within the 1% but were also able to find a perfect balance . they did a great job of separating personal life from the tabloids . it was rare to really know the happenings of their day to day . they had this particular kind of mystery to them , if you will .

it wasn’t long before lana began to instill the very same rhetoric she received as a child into her own . quality over quantity , was the motto . just not in the way you’d assume . the quality at which a de jaager presented themselves to you was much more important than than quantity of time you spent with them . looks ? they’re everything , in the de jaager household . time was simply a societal construct implemented to catch you on a bad day , for that very line of thinking they embodied being late . rushing out of the house to finish your make up in the car ? a literal sin in the eyes of her mother .

she was encouraged to take part in ballet and beauty pageants growing up . anything that could showcase how beautiful their daughter was lana and milan were on board for . personally logan hated ballet but she couldn’t deny she loved the applause the night of a showcase . she also couldn’t stand pageants but loved having all eyes on her as she went on stage .

it became quite clear as the years went on that her parents were much more like close friends to their daughter than like rule - instilling guardians . she would text them to dismiss her from school , get them to buy her & her friends alcohol for sleepovers / parties , was very much so that kid who got high with her parents . really anything you could do with your friends ? was fair game with logan & her folks .

at sixteen a friend of her moms who was going to be a designer for spring fashion week that year asked if logan would want to walk for him . she was quick to accept the offer and before she knew it she had multiple offers to walk in that years fall fashion weeks , because of how easy it came to her - though , she’s the first to admit she never really took modeling all that seriously .

it was just a year later that her way of life changed drastically , logan and her twin brother had been caught by paparazzi on a friends boat in the hamptons snorting a white substance , anyone with eyes knew exactly what the group of teenagers were doing . upon returning home the two received the crackdown of the century . their once friendly parents turned to strict jail like guardians . often reminded that they put the families reputation at stake . the pressure to be perfect was something logan had never had to deal with until now & she almost cracked under the pressure at every turn .

it wasn’t until she left for college that she was finally given some room to breathe , attending the university of florida was the best choice for what logan truly wanted to do with her life - become a sports analyst . growing up she was infatuated with sports & and would have been involved in much more than just cheerleading had her mom allowed for her to get so much as a speck of dirt on her . during her time in florida the paparazzi seemed to find her more often than not , something her parents often denounced both over the phone & in public . the longer she spent away from the upper east side the more she became america’s sweetheart & simultaneously a thorn in her parents side . she graduated from university in 2018 , only returning back to new york for the sake of work . she’d been offered a reporting job with espn , on top of taking up modeling gigs here & there when ever she felt necessary .

personality …

one thing is very true about the de jaager’s & is very much so the same for logan ; she is not to be trusted . she can be extremely charming when she wants to be . she could sell a bag of rocks to a beach & get a princess to sell her sole to sex work . she knows exactly what people want to hear & when they want to hear it and has no qualms about lying straight to someone’s face if it means she gets something out of it . in fact sometimes , she might lie to your face just for the sheer fun of being able to call you gullible .

she’s very much so a spoiled brat although she hates when anyone call her one , she feels like she has more layers to her than that broad term . hand in hand with that is her drama queen like tendencies , any situation were there is a simple solution she will find a way to blow vastly out of portion .

due to her mother’s heavy influence growing up , she can be rather vein & materialistic . catch her like “ i can’t date a garbage person ” to someone simply because they’re not as rich or known enough for her liking .

it’s rare that you’ll ever see her jump out of character . she’s very calculated & aware of who she is ( or who she needs to seem like ) so if you ever see her emotions getting the better of her , you’ve really broken her .

she’s the type to dabble in a little bit of anything ? she’s a rich nyc party girl who’s been partying well before anyone should have allowed her to so she’s done it all . you’d be kidding yourself to think you could surprise / scare logan on a wild night out .

she’s quick & creative with her sense of humor . she has both a crude / dry sense of humor , as well , and really just doesn’t find goofy things to be funny but more or less embarrassing ( so if she ever tells you you’re goofy , remember it’s not a compliment ) .

her upbringing & parents sentiment on tabloids once reflected massively on logan , but now she couldn’t quite care less about it all . after all she spends hours in front of cameras on a regular basis for work . although she does tend to shy away from people who she deems are hungry for fame or attention . she’s been used in the past for fame & will never let it happen again , plus she’s the type to lap up attention so she likes to have as little fame whores around her as possible , more shine for her .

when she isn’t being a total nightmare though she’s actually really fun to be around ? she’s playful & loves to keep the party alive . often can be found claiming “ i’m high on life ” although everyone saw the pictures , logan , we know what you’re really high on , girl .

very chatty girl , too . victim of foot - in - mouth syndrome , big time . she doesn’t try to be disloyal & spill people’s secrets ( or does she ? ) but she can’t help herself . if she has piping hot tea she’s gonna spill it because she doesn’t wanna burn herself .

very observant girl , who loves to people watch but her observations can sometimes get muddled when she starts judging people a little too hardcore .

she’s also a undercover couch potato & by that i mean if you give her an option to go out & do something she’ll never outwardly choose to stay home to watch netflix and snuggle up under the blankets but secretly she’s hoping & praying she gets a chance to do so .

plots ...

END THIS ( L.O.V.E ) / her first love . these two brought the absolute worst out of one another . they messed her up so much that she has a weird perspective on what love between two s/o’s should even feel like now . maybe they had another s/o at the same time as her & kinda just strung her on & when it came out were able to lie so much to her that she believed them . idk , in truth we could really plot something completely different as to what they did & inevitably what the breaking point was . maybe they broke up with her & had they not ended it maybe she would’ve still been okay with being in the relationship . idk i just feel like this one could be fun as hell . also they’d be the one whom she was caught arguing with in one of her headlines . ( 0 / 1 )

AFTER PARTY / this is a more reckless take of party buddies . im envisioning a group of people who when the parties over they all pull up to close by gulf course , indulge even more in their choices of substance , there is a naked gulf tournament going on , there are drunks driving golf carts , swerving and pouring bacardi all over the course . running from security when they pop up . it’s tradition at this point & if someone doesn’t come it’s almost disrespectful at this point . idk i just love the thought of this kinda vibe . ( 2 / ? )

SECRETS / okay so this one is messy . basically logan was very private for most of her life ( thanks mom & dad ) and during the early stages of highschool she lied to everyone saying she was a virgin . she told each one of these individuals that they were her first whether it be to make them fall for her “ innocence ” , want to chase after her , or whatever else we might be able to plot out . inevitably they compare notes at some point and find out that she’d been lying to them all . we can plot out how they confronted her i feel like we could make this real dramatic though . this would also be a backstory plot so , we can also plot out how things have transpired since for them . ( 0 / 3 or 4 )

BEST FRIEND / these two girls take best friends to the next level . they relate to one another on every level and are there for one another at all times . there is never a moment where they are competing with one another because they know that their #1 in there respective category . they are one another’s ultimate hype beasts . they truly embody chaotic goddess vibes . it’s like they were placed on this earth simply to be friends because they compliment one another that well . ( 0 / 1 )

LETS FALL IN LOVE FOR THE NIGHT / they are the one that’s there whenever she’s down . they have the ability to make her feel like they have some sort of old love whenever she’s around them . those feelings only last for the night though . they enjoy when she rambles on about sports or the novel she just recently read or really just anything she enjoys can put a smile on their face . they know better than to ever confuse what is going on between them though , they know that she’ll never be theirs . whether they’re okay with this or not we can definitely plot out . ( 0 / 1 )

MOANA / they are not a fan of logan . they see her for what she is : an attention seeking , spoiled brat and the fact that they don’t want anything to do with her makes her want them all the more . when they finally slept with her it was only to prove a point to her s/o at the time , to prove that she’s not the sweet girlfriend she claimed to be . basically they’re the person who outed her for being a ho ho ho but despite knowing that they outed her for that she still tries to hook up with them because they were the best she ever had . they often turn her down but after a while not even they can deny that they’re attracted to her . they still don’t fuck with her though . also i think it’d be cool if their were two of them & maybe they worked together to out her to her s/o that didn’t believe she was a cheater ( 0 / 2 ) also bring the s/o that they outed her to ( 0 / 1 )

ELEVEN / the type of relationship that is stuck in the grey area . they’re more than friends but they don’t necessarily admit to having feelings for one another . honestly they probably don’t even think they have feelings for one another . it’s a weird dynamic . they spend the most of their time together late at night . there meeting time ? 11pm . they go on wild joy rides to the beach . heads out of the sun roof as they let out a loud woo . the only thing accompanying them is a big bag of weed . sometimes they have deep talks , honestly they probably know more about one another than anyone else ? because of these adventurous of theirs . when they aren’t having deep talks they’re running across the beach aimlessly & rolling around in the sand with one another . it’s really just a very pure plot that i need in my life . ( 0 / 1 )

TRUST NOBODY / this is someone who used logan for fame / attention . they either became close friends or even started dating & they used everything they learned about her or what went on between them to relay back to a tabloid / would call paparazzi to come and take pictures of them together whenever they’d go out . ( 0 / 1 )

some other plot ideas i’d love to see : x , x , x , x , x , x , x , x , x , x , x .

#wealthyhq:intro #hellurrrr *

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nekoabiwrites · 4 years ago

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Explainable Coincidences

Idk why this came to mind, I just thought it was funny.

AU: Human/Teen Pairing: Sort of implied Moceit, but it can be read platonically. Words: 3557 Warnings: Mention of ghosts, Virgil being very anxious. Anything else, please let me know!

Summary: Roman makes Remus take him to the abandoned hotel nearby their home so he can get some pictures. What they didn’t count on were others also joining them...

“Hurry up already!” Roman hissed, eyes darting around cautiously. He was walking along the wire fence that surrounded the abandoned hotel with his twin brother a few steps behind, on the lookout for the broken portion that would allow them entry.

“Calm down, we’re not going to get caught.” Remus replied casually, his hand trailing along the fence, as casual as could be. “I told you, I’ve been here loads. Anyone who’d see us wouldn’t snitch.”

“Sure. Maybe not on you…” Roman muttered. He didn’t give Remus a chance to respond as he noticed their entrance to the hotel just a few short steps away. Roman rushed over and looked at the fence. It had clearly been intentionally broken, almost as if someone had cut the wire and then kicked it in to create a large enough gap for people to slip through.

“Admiring our work?” Remus asked, voice low and chilling right next to Roman’s ear. He cackled as his twin screeched in fear and jumped away several paces. Even as his brother started to whisper crude insults and bemoan the fact that someone could have heard them, Remus pushed on through the broken fence and waltzed across the over-grown grounds, looking utterly at home with his ragged appearance. He glanced behind, noting that his pristinely dressed twin – who was fighting to not catch any part of his outfit on the sharp edges – was completely out of his element here. Sure, it had been Roman’s idea to come here, but only Remus could do this with him. A sly grin crossed Remus’ face; he was in control here.

Roman finally managed to get himself through and he stalked towards Remus with a scowl before stopping just before his brother. They stood in silence for a few seconds, staring at each other before Remus raised his eyebrows questioningly. Roman rolled his eyes and cocked his hip, giving Remus a disapproving once-over, “Are you going to get us inside or what? I don’t want to be out here when it rains.” Remus went to talk back, but Roman managed to silence him with a pointed look, “Now. Remus.”

The more bedraggled of the two held his hands up in defeat and started heading around the side of the large hotel, before slipping through a door that was hanging off of its hinges. Remus waited just the other side as Roman cautiously entered behind him, “Normally, we’d go through the windows but you’re too soft for that, so I thought I’d be nice for once.” He could almost hear the rolling of his brother’s eyes before footsteps passed him by and Roman was taking the lead through the hallway. “Hey! Wait for me!” Remus jogged after him.

Unbeknownst to the brothers, they were not about to be alone in the building. Two more figures approached the locked gate at the front of the abandoned site, clearly also looking for entry. Well, one of them was.

“Virgil. This is pointless. There is no force that is making you do this.”

“No, L. For like the fiftieth time, I have to do this.” Virgil snapped, “You’re the one who didn’t have to come along.”

Logan sighed as Virgil started clambering up the side of the gate, using the wire fence for extra footholds. He waited until the emo was near the top before joining him in ascending the bars, “I am responsible for you, Virgil. Therefore, if you simply must do this, I must accompany you.”

Virgil, now on the ground on the other side of the fence, grinned, “You just wanted to come see this place. I know you did.”

“A completely unfounded and baseless claim.” Logan said, voice straining with the effort he was using in his climb. A snort had him sending a weak glare to his companion just before he managed to clamber over the highest bar and begin his descent. Logan’s grip slipped in his haste and he yelped loudly but managed to hold on enough to slide down to the ground. His cheeks flushed, Logan adjusted his glasses and pretended nothing had happened. “So, where shall we enter?”

Virgil, trying to hide his amused smile at Logan’s uncharacteristic loss of composure, pointed to a broken window on the lowest floor, “There looks good.”

“Let us go then. If we are quick, we should be able to be in and out before the rain starts.” Logan quickly made his way through the overgrowth with Virgil hot on his heels.

Inside, the twins had frozen in place. They’d made their way up to the third floor; where a few of the rooms were still partially furnished. Roman was in the middle of setting up his shot, while Remus rummaged around for whatever he could find that interested him. The loud yelp had been unexpected.

“Hey, uh, Rem?”

“Yeah?”

“This place… there’s, like, strays here… right?”

“Uh… sure? I guess? Yeah. Yeah, there must be.” Remus feigned confidence, going back to his scavenging.

Roman listened intensely for a few moments more, but only the wind and the general creaking of the building was there along with his twin’s movements. Slowly, he returned to his camera, hoping to get all the shots done quickly and get out of here already – though things just weren’t lining up quite right.

Back outside, two more figures were approaching the hotel at speed. The one in front threw themselves at the chained-up gate, almost desperately trying to open it, while the other was far more casual.

“Patton. Calm down. I’m sure they’re fine. I doubt Virgil even came here.” The second figure drawled.

“But he wasn’t at home! He must have come here, Jan!” Patton scrambled to climb the gate, but his upper body strength wasn’t enough to get him up. He fell to the ground, landing on his butt. “How do we get in?!” Patton’s lip was wobbling as he looked up towards his companion.

Janus only needed to glance at Patton’s sad expression for a moment before he knew this was already a losing battle. With a sigh and an adjustment of his hat, he gestured for Patton to follow him, “There are broken sections of fence around here.”

“Oh, that sounds dangerous and scary…” Patton’s voice quivered as he came up behind Janus, hand grasping onto his sleeve for comfort.

“It’s really not, so long as you’re careful. See, watch me.” They’d quickly come upon a way to pass through the fence. Patton very slowly let go of Janus and waited, shifting his weight nervously from foot to foot. With practiced motions, Janus threw his leg through the hole and ducked down, hand instinctively going to hold his hat in order to not lose it. He swung his body back up and pulled his other leg through, ending up standing on the opposite side without so much as a scratch. “Your turn.” He gestured to Patton, who approached looking scared.

Unlike Janus, Patton wasn’t able to move with much grace. He attempted the first movement several times, each time chickening out before actually getting his foot through the hole. After the eighth attempt, Janus couldn’t stand it any longer and offered Patton a hand. Janus felt that the extra help wasn’t entirely necessary, but since the other almost face-planted onto the ground after getting through the gap, he was re-evaluating his stance.

Patton dusted himself off and stood up straight once again, now looking up at the five floors of the hotel. “So, um… wh-where do we go in?” He was shaking.

Janus opened his mouth to tell Patton that he didn’t need to go in and look if he was that scared, but the determination in the other’s eyes stopped him. With a reluctant sigh, Janus started walking towards the building, leaving Patton to catch up once again. The broken doors had just come into view as they rounded the corner when a loud scraping sound had them both jumping, Patton’s grip tightening as he flattened himself against Janus’ back. Both of them slowly looked up to the building and then to each other, trying to gauge how much they really wanted to go in. Then a droplet of water fell on Patton’s cheek. The rain began pouring, almost immediately. The pair ran in as fast as they could.

“Oh, that is so much better!” Roman knelt down, taking a few shots of the rearranged room. He’d had Remus move some of the furniture around, since his twin wasn’t doing anything else worthwhile. “I’m honestly impressed how helpful you are.” Roman spoke absent-mindedly as he got back to his feet, looking through the pictures he’d gotten.

“Rude. Who got you here for your silly photography blog stuff?” Remus puffed out his chest, “You didn’t even know this cool place was here until I told you about it.”

“Until you got caught coming here and mom and dad told you off about it, you mean.” Roman corrected, walking back out into the corridor.

“Still all me, doesn’t matter about that. Now that you’ve done your boring bit, follow me to see the cool stuff!” Remus ran down to the end of the hallway, with Roman following shortly behind.

On the floor below, Virgil’s arms were wrapped around himself as he looked up to the thundering sounds above. He really didn’t want to come here, but he also wasn’t about to let Janus win this one. Sure, it had been a stupid dare, likely an off-hand snarky comment by the other, but Virgil was not going to let the asshole claim he was a scaredy cat any longer. “H-hey L? Wh.. what do you think that was?” The sounds had stopped.

“It sounded like footsteps to me.” Logan said simply, turning away from the faded painting he’d been trying to decipher for the last minute.

Virgil’s shoulders shot up in fear as he tensed. His voice dropped to a whisper, “Do you think there are other people here? What if they’re murderers or something and they wait here for idiot teenagers like us?!”

“Speak for yourself.” Logan gave Virgil an indignant look before returning to his usual stoic self. “I am confident there are no murderers waiting for ‘idiot teenagers’, Virgil. By my guess, it would likely be a stray dog of sorts that would be using this building as a shelter.”

“What if it’s rabid…” Virgil muttered under his breath.

Logan sighed, “I promise you, Virgil, we are most definitely safe from rabid animals. Come now, let’s get to the top floor and take the picture you feel you need.” Virgil nodded gently and slowly began to start walking down the hallway, following Logan closely out of fear. They were ascending the creaking stairs when they both heard a voice.

“Virgil?”

It echoed all around the empty stone walls. The voice was quiet and shaking. Logan prided himself in being a rational human being, but even he couldn’t shake the immediate idea that the voice had a ghost-like quality.

“Oh my god oh my god. I’m gonna die. I’m so dead. This place is haunted and wants me dead. Oh my god. I’m so fucking dead, so absolutely fucking dead.” Virgil was shaking heavily, stuck in place on the step. His eyes were wide; pupils staring straight ahead as he dare not look around just in case the ghost calling his name just appeared in his vision.

The voice called out again, this time louder. Virgil, somehow, tensed even more, his body now rigid. Slow footsteps were approaching from below and tears of fear welled up from Virgil’s eyes. He couldn’t move. No matter how much his mind was screaming at him to run the fuck away, his muscles just wouldn’t listen. A quiet sob escaped him when the voice called out again.

Virgil was then suddenly off the ground. His immediate thought was that the ghost had caught him and was taking him down. But then he realised he was going upwards. In one stiff movement, Virgil turned to see Logan’s determined face to his right. The stone walls were almost bouncing up and down behind his head. Logan was carrying him up the stairs. He was saved. Virgil was safe. For now. He started to relax.

They burst loudly through the door to the top floor, breaking the last of the glass in the pane as it slammed against the wall.

A scream sounded from the stairs. Virgil tensed again. Fuck, he was so dead, and Logan was dying with him. Because of him.

Down at the first floor, Patton was clinging to Janus, shivering as he looked up to where the loud bang had sounded. “Wh-what… what was that?”

“Must have been the wind. Things like that happen all the time.” Janus lied confidently, though the clenching of his fists should have given him away. Thankfully, Patton was fairly oblivious.

“I don’t like this place.” Patton whined, “Let’s find Virgil and leave!”

Janus pondered for a moment, thinking about where their emo friend would have gone in a place like this. Considering all this happened because of Janus’ challenge, Virgil would likely want to go somewhere to prove he’d been here. The place immediately came to mind. “I know where he might be. Come on.”

“Okay…” Patton’s grip loosened slightly, but he still clung onto Janus’ sleeve. It made the trek up the stairs awkward and uncomfortable, as Janus’ arm was twisted behind himself. Even though they had the space, Patton seemed completely unwilling to walk alongside his friend. Janus considered stopping and talking with him about it but decided it would be best to just get their task done as Patton was clearly terrified of the abandoned hotel. Finally, after what felt like forever, they reached the landing of the top floor.

They hadn’t even taken more than a couple of steps past the broken door before a loud crack of lightning lit up the sky outside, followed very shortly by a loud rumble, and a very loud echo-y scream, and the sound of many things hitting the floor, then a high-pitched, witchy cackle. Patton squealed and buried his head against Janus’ back.

Janus paused. That cackle…

In one of the rooms around the corner, Roman groaned, holding his head. The lightning had been so unexpected, he’d stumbled back and fell against one of the old dressers in the room. It had pretty much entirely collapsed under his weight, so now he found himself in a pile of broken wood and rusty looking nails. Carefully, Roman got to his feet and checked on his camera, hoping to every god he could think of that it was unharmed. His parents would kill him if they knew. He ignored Remus practically crying with laughter on one of the well-worn couches.

It was thanks to his brother’s incredibly loud laughing that Roman didn’t hear the approaching footsteps from either side of the hallway. He stood and swatted at Remus’ arm, stopping the sound almost immediately as Remus then yelled out, “Hey!” in offence.

“Just be quiet. I need to fo-”

“Logan, why are you holding Virgil like a child?”

Roman stopped mid-sentence as another voice sounded outside the room. He turned his gaze to Remus who simply shrugged, though the fact his face was split into a wide grin told Roman that his disgusting brother was going to enjoy this opportunity. Everything was a blur. One moment, Roman had his camera in hand, the next, it was gone. Remus was already at the door, poking his head around in order to grab a picture of whatever was going on outside. It was only after the snapping sound of the camera going off that Roman’s brain caught up and he ran over to shove Remus aside.

“What is goi- Uh…” Roman, once again, couldn’t finish.

To his left, he saw Logan and Virgil. Logan was red-faced and his chest was heaving as though he’d just ran an entire marathon, while Virgil was tense and curled up in the other’s arms. To his right, Janus stood looking baffled and confused, a pair of legs visible just behind him with Roman could only assume to be Patton by process of elimination. Remus was now on the floor, face down in the dust and dirt, cackling away once again. Roman ignored him.

“What are you all doing here? And why is Logan carrying Virgil like that? And… is Patton hiding back there?” Roman asked in rapid succession. Logan was unable to answer as he was still breathing heavily and was clearly feeling the strain of holding the other teen in his arms, while Patton was still cowering away. That left only Janus who simply shrugged.

Roman sighed, “Look, come in here and chill out for a bit. Maybe we can figure it all out when they aren’t so… so…”

“Fucked!” Remus chimed in helpfully, still on the floor.

“Sure, why not.”

It took a lot of coaxing and promises of safety before Virgil was finally able to pry himself from Logan’s arms – who’d taken up the seat that Remus had previously occupied on the couch. Patton was still pressed tightly to Janus but was at least able to be seen now that he was beside him rather than behind. Once Virgil had fully regained the movement of his limbs and Patton was giggling at Remus’ odd jokes, the topic was brought up again.

“So, what are you doing here?”

Virgil immediately glared at Janus, “It’s all his fault!”

“Me? I didn’t do a thing…” Janus drawled in response, avoiding Virgil’s gaze. He happened to catch Logan’s instead, which immediately scared him into speaking. “Okay, fine. I may have challenged Virgil accidentally by… implying that he was, uh…”

“You called me chicken!”

“Ah, yes, I did.” Janus smiled, “But I didn’t expect he’d come here. Patton brought me along to come search for you, because he was just so worried.”

“You weren’t at home, mom and dad hadn’t seen you, so yeah… I got really worried!” Patton’s lip quivered, “But I didn’t expect it to be so scary…”

“Alright… but that doesn’t explain why Logan was carrying Virgil…” Roman pondered, “What was all that about?”

“We were crossing the hallway on the second floor when we heard footsteps above us. Virgil was quite shocked by the sound and became rather anxious. So, we began to walk up to this floor so Virgil could get a picture as proof. But then a rather… unfamiliar sounding voice called out to him and sent him into an extreme panic. I picked him up and ran up the stairs into the top floor, but I wasn’t sure which room we needed to go into.” Logan explained, still massaging his arms.

“IT WAS A GHOST, I SWEAR! It wanted to kill me! How else would it know my name?!” Virgil yelled, arms wrapping around himself once again as a protective shield.

“Wait, so you heard someone call your name? Where from?” Janus prompted, now interested.

“It was like… from below us in the stairs…”

Janus then chuckled lightly, “That was likely Patton. He and I were on the stairs when there was this loud crash from above us. I’m guessing that was you?”

Logan flushed, “I may have pushed the door with too much force and caused some of the glass to fall out, yes…”

“And I assume you screamed earlier?”

“I do not scream.” Logan responded forcefully, his frustrated gaze boring deep into Janus.

Roman raised his hand, “That may have been me, actually. The lightning surprised me. Apologies…”

“Hey, that’s something. Why are you here?” Virgil pointed accusingly at Roman.

“Why only me?!” Roman responded indignantly.

“Because Remus basically lives here during the day.”

“I mean, he’s right.”

“Shut up, Remus!” Virgil and Roman spoke in unison.

Roman tossed his head back to get stray strands of his hair back into place, “If you must know, I came here for our art assignment. I was taking photos.” He held up the camera that he’d manged to snatch back from Remus sometime earlier.

Somehow, this started Virgil off on how the place was an absolute dump and not even worth a decent grade. Roman took offense, as did Remus and Janus. It turned into a shouting match between them all, with each of them changing sides multiple times to make it a confused mess. Logan rubbed his temples as he was starting to get a headache. He glanced out of the window and noticed that the rain had stopped. With an impossibly loud shout, he got the attention of everyone in the room.

“Shall we leave? I think we’ve all had enough of this place for today.” Logan huffed, clearly annoying. Immediately, everyone agreed, and they started to file out of the hotel. No one wanted to start a fight when Logan was like this. It was only once they were outside of the fence when someone spoke up again.

“So… that place isn’t haunted then?” Patton asked innocently.

Remus cackled and turned, walking backwards so he could look Patton directly in the eyes, “Oh, it’s definitely haunted. Wanna come back and see the ghost another day?”

“Remus.” Janus chided as Patton grabbed a hold of his arm for the umpteenth time that evening.

“What? I’m being serious!”

My other stuff: http://nekoabi.tumblr.com/myworks Mobile Accessible Masterlist: http://nekoabi.tumblr.com/post/181954641376/fic-masterlist

General Tag List: @not-so-innocent-bi-sander @didsomeonesayprince @llamaly @justanotherpurplebutterfly @iaminmultiplefandoms @ultimate-queen-of-fandoms2 @lowkeyvirgilobsessed @louisthewarlock @xxladystarlightxx @sleepyssnail @ao-koshka @notalwaysthevillian @pumpkinminette @doces-e--tuga @safesandersides @hogwarts-my-love @cloverlyanxious

#Sanders Sides #Fanfiction #Roman Sanders #Remus Sanders #Virgil Sanders #Logan Sanders #Patton Sanders #Janus Sanders #Creativity Sanders #Dark Creativity Sanders #Anxiety Sanders #Logic Sanders #Morality Sanders #Deceit Sanders #Human AU #Teenagers AU

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a-tcos · 4 years ago

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Alright it’s time to share my own Claude headcanons:

Note: these will be modern au headcanons and there’s a fair amount of projection. I love comparing HCs and seeing how we all differently characterize the same character, so feel free to share your own/make your own posts/whatever! Now onto Claude Faustus.

Metal head, 100%

Listens to 100 Gecs

Stone walls people he doesn’t particularly find interesting or as a way to protect himself (emotionally). By not showing any emotion, he looks intimidating or boring. It also keeps him calm and in control of situations. He prefers to keep others at a distance.

Definitely more self-aware than he lets on. Many, many people will perceive him as boring or emotionless and he’s okay with that.

Sometimes he’s bothered when people call him boring just because he’s genuinely quiet. This is different than him showing no emotions, as it’s actually just who he is.

Thinks his actions are justified (think Machiavellianism). Despite that, he has a capacity to feel guilt. He just rarely feels guilty about anything he’s done.

Hides a LOT of anger. There’s many little things that piss him off but why should he waste energy on getting upset when he could do so many other things? You wouldn’t even know if you pissed him off.

Claude’s sexuality? Short answer: he’s bi. Long answer: Claude doesn’t define his sexuality in a way humans would do so; he’s attracted to whoever he’s attracted to. If asked, he’ll describe his sexuality as fluid overall.

He 100% identifies as male, though.

What does Claude look for in a partner/love interest/hookup? Claude’s type is: shorter than him, heavier than him (preferably curvy at least), alternative and non-comformative in any sense, not especially emotional, able to partake in his hobbies, not clingy but not entirely independent (he likes to feel wanted/needed), and shares his dark sense of humor.

Built. Sturdy. Broad shoulders. Mans has muscles. I would give him a dad bod AND muscles but IDK

Very active man, a bit of a health nut

Of course the man never cries in front of others.

Can actually appreciate when someone has more energy + is louder than him as a way to cheer him up or just make him laugh, even at their expense. Also if they do that, they can give him a bit more energy. Too much and it gets annoying/draining no matter who’s doing it.

INTJ. Definitely INTJ.

Can participate in social stuff and can fake being extroverted but is really introverted and finds social gatherings draining

Smokes weed

His face drink (alcohol) is red wine.

I think it would be funny if Claude actually needs a strong prescription just so he can see but I think he wears glasses because he likes them.

Triple threat (singer, actor, dancer)

Compared to Sebastian, he’s much more competent (this man does not deserve his right to a brain but he has it)

However, unlike Sebastian, he isn’t a show-off or a perfectionist. He’s a big picture kind of person and doesn’t mind rushing work he doesn’t like doing (side note: Claude is definitely lazier than Sebastian but he refers to this as working smarter, not harder).

One thing he doesn’t rush is cooking. He loves to cook and bake.

Claude is older than Sebastian.

Going back to how little emotion he shows (depending on the people he’s around), he’s a demon, so I imagine that’s also why. He can be smug like Seb, that’s for sure, but demons aren’t typically emotional (in my own HCs/writing that is)

Speaking of demon stuff, I see him as a demon of gluttony (I’ve ranted about this before and will probably do so in another post.

Arrogant and overconfident BUT if he slips up, he doesn’t blame others. He actually apologizes more than one would imagine him doing so.

Can either be very romantic or very Not Romantic .

Weird. Just Weird.

As a genuine explanation for the above, Claude just has goofy/odd tendencies that are either inhuman (prolonged eye contact, studying humans, or make him seem more human (sing along to songs that are playing)

No One Talks About His Long Tongue. I Would Like to Talk About His Long Tongue.

I imagine that Claude didn’t just (forgive my lack of better wording here) “snap” when he tasted Ciel’s blood. I believe it was certainly adding onto a flame, but he was always planning to take Ciel’s soul. Therefore, this goes along with my HC that Claude can show plenty emotion/be more relaxed/be a bit more irrational if he feels comfortable. When he isn’t comfortable/is working/is planning/is hiding something, then he shows no emotion.

Outfit 1: thin turtleneck under a suit jacket and slacks, dress shoes

Outfit 2: metal band tee, leather jacket, black jeans, combat boots

Outfit 3: Business Casual Dad

Outfit 4: Vacation Dad

Likes all animals (and I really mean ALL animals here)

This is admittedly based off of someone else’s HC but he would definitely have a pet tarantula

Gets very defensive when someone kills a spider (especially if they’re in his home)

Crafty yet handy. Loves to crochet, knit, write, paint abstract art, sculpting, and more. The man has many, many hobbies.

Very manipulative, antagonistic, sadistic, controlling, and domineering. I will say that he has a soft spot for his partner and will be decent with them, but he’s still Nasty.

This is essentially canon but Claude can still be so dramatic while also being stoic as hell. He Has The Range.

Can speak various languages fluently (English, Spanish, Japanese, and Latin).

Can speak Russian and Hebrew Not Very Fluently (he picked up the Hebrew from Sebastian).

Can not speak French at all (well, he refuses to learn it, claiming that that’s Sebastian’s thing).

Loves to banter with Seb, other friends, and potential partners.

Also loves to banter with enemies.

I think he gets red in the face easily. He doesn’t blush heavily or even a lot, but if slapped his face will definitely show the imprint of a hand.

I mentioned dark humor; Claude is semi-sarcastic and laughs at self-deprecation jokes/dark jokes that he can relate to.

Constantly overthinks but doesn’t show it. He’s too analytical, if that makes sense.

I HC him as having anxiety but He’s Also a Demon so idk if demons can have GAD but he definitely has the demon equivalent of that.

If you want me to show you how I much I really project onto him, please listen to Lies by Will Jay. You will understand what I mean.

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betawithablog · 4 years ago

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I'm writing a story where an omega left his pups and alpha. Can you make some head canons about what would happen to the pups and omega?

ooh this sounds interesting!! I can certainly try!!

So a lot’s gonna depend on why the Omega left in the first place!

Perhaps the Alpha is the asshole in the situation.

Perhaps the Omega left because it was an abusive relationship; the Omega got out as soon as he could but couldn’t save the pups. Maybe there was too much pressure and fear-mongering from the Alpha’s family/pack.

Maybe the Omega is planning on rescuing his pups from the abusive Alpha. Listen; hell hath no fury like an Omega who’s pups are in peril, so once the Omega frees himself of the relationship for long enough to clear his head and get support, that Alpha’s gonna be In For It.

If you’d like some extra angst with your order, I can imagine the Alpha deciding to give the pups away as soon as the Omega left; as a kind of punishment for leaving, but also because some Alphas have the mentality that raising the pups isn’t their job, it’s the Omega’s.

Once he get his pups back that Omega will be the most ferociously protective papa... not letting them out of his sight, not letting any strangers near them, being cautious even of friends if they’re not in the pack... I’ll bet he’d go into overdrive scenting those pups and everything surrounding them; all their blankets, all their clothes, right down to every last teeny tiny sock.

If you don’t mind considering a situation that’s a bit darker; maybe the Omega doesn’t want the pups back at all because the Alpha forced themselves and the pups on him.

In this situation, I can imagine the pups not imprinting onto the Omega because he’s rejecting them. They were a reminder of the abuse he was going through, and the thought of raising them when every time he looks at them he remembers what happened just makes him feel sick.

Obviously the Omega is going to be dealing with so much guilt and self-loathing and depression because of this. The Omega might not ever feel like they can have pups again afterwards because it’ll be a reminder of what happened last time they had pups.

Or perhaps the Omega is the asshole in the situation.

Perhaps when they were having relationship problems or struggling with parenting he just decided he didn’t want to bother with the responsibility anymore and up and left, abandoning the Alpha and pups without much warning, leaving the Alpha reeling.

The poor Alpha in this situation... I can imagine an Alpha being too proud to ask the Omega to pay for childcare payments (pupcare payments, if you will), because they might see it as their duty as an Alpha to be able to provide everything the pups need all by themselves.

Society doesn’t take particularly kindly to Alpha single parents, so the poor thing would probably have to deal with a ton of snide remarks and judgemental looks from others. And perhaps the Alpha powers through and fiercely ignores them and tries to be the best damn parent they can for their pups, but perhaps it still all gets to them sometimes.

There are days when the ruminating thoughts of I’m an awful parent, my pups deserve better, if I had been better maybe my Omega wouldn’t have left me just come pouring in by the bucket load. Hoo boyy will that Alpha have abandonment issues up the caboose.

I imagine the pup’s naturally soothing Baby Pup Smell™ (I’ve never smelled a baby’s head before myself but I’ve heard they smell good so I imagine it’s like that) is gonna help their Alpha a lot; I’m picturing lots of late-night snuggling, whispered promises like mantras “I’m not leaving you, I won’t ever leave you, I’ll always be here for you, I’m not going anywhere”

(Particularly after some jerk suggests they give the pups up for adoption because “an Alpha can never raise pups on their own, everyone knows that! you’re kidding yourself if you think you can!”)

Or perhaps no one’s really an asshole after all.

Perhaps the Omega left because his mental health was just in a really bad place. Perhaps his postnatal depression started making him believe that he was a failure of a parent and his Alpha deserved better than him, and so he ran away, leaving his Alpha and their friends trying to find him to bring him home and get him help.

Or maybe it was just because the relationship was failing and the couple agreed, for whatever reason, that the Alpha would be the best person for the pups to have as a primary carer.

The Omega still pays pupcare and visits every now and then, but the pups live with the Alpha. It all ended amicably and no one’s to blame; life just happens like that sometimes.

But this situation would suck for the Omega. Those who know or find out about him having pups and leaving them would start turning their noses up at him. Like, way more than they would if it were an Alpha or a Beta in the same situation. Omegas are believed (falsely, but it’s a societal stereotype) to have the strongest bond and connection with pups, especially their own; so abandoning your pups would make you some kind of monster.

So it would be difficult for an Omega to make and maintain friendships if the fact that he left his pups became public knowledge. Judgement from everyone. Romances? Even worse. Someone who’s been courting him for a little while and the Omega is really starting to like finds out and drops him instantly because “no one wants to be with someone who’d leave his own pups!”

Hell, if he’s trying to apply for a job and their potential future boss looks him up and finds out about the pups I can imagine he wouldn’t get the job for that reason; an Alpha or Beta not wanting to be a parent and leaving is perfectly fine, but an Omega? How irresponsible and selfish!

Basically, his entire life and livelihood will change for the worst.

To consider in any situation: Were the Omega and Alpha bite-bonded beforehand?

Because if they were, bondmates being separated is painful (whether the bond was forced or not). Like, not just emotionally. Being separated from your bondmate can have physical health consequences, such as: literal heartache, stomach aches because the body is anxious, increased fatigue, or increased energy to the point of insomnia.

Would your Omega be tempted to return to the Alpha for these reasons...? How would they try and remind themselves why this is such a bad idea...? Would they go so far as to consider (the very risky process of) surgically removing the bond...? Would they go so far as asking someone else to replace the claiming bite with their own so the symptoms stop...?

Did the pups imprint on the Omega (and vice-versa)?

Idk that much about how other people imagine imprinting working, but I see it as a bond formed between pups and their parental figures; kind of like an invisible, familial bonding bite. It’s often formed very soon after birth between the pup and their birth-parent, and then not long between the pup and the other parent(s).

So if the Omega and his pups did imprint on one another, the symptoms after the Omega leaves are going to be similar to the symptoms of your bondmate leaving you. There will be a lot of emotional turmoil and heartache and missing their presence and craving their scent.

If it was the Omega’s choice to leave he’s going to have to do a lot of fighting with himself and reminding himself why he left and that it’s just a phase and the pain won’t last forever.

If the Omega wants to get their pups back he’ll probably be clinging onto that pain like it’s a comfort blanket; it’s a reminder of what his pups are feeling right now too, and incentive, if he even needed any more, to rescue them.

If they’re a good parent and are keeping the pups, the Alpha is going to have to put up with a lot of crying from their pups because of the loss of an imprinted parent.

If you really want to spice up the story with extra angst, the abandonment and strain of losing the first parent they imprinted on could lead to health problems for the pup; the body shutting down, perhaps, because it believes it’s been abandoned and won’t be able to survive on it’s own.

Obviously I demand you end this situation happily (because I am weak and cannot handle a sad ending 😂😂) with either the Omega rescuing them and snuggling and scenting them back to health, or with the Alpha being the absolute best parent and any illnesses fading because the pup realises it’s not been abandoned and is safe and loved

Tried to cover plenty of bases here, hope there’s enough here to keep you inspired! 💕 Good luck and have fun with your story! ✍️

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thegreatescape · 5 years ago

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SHARE THE LOVE CONVENTION

Here’s what happened at the Share The Love Con in Milan! :) [Sorry for my terrible English lol]

At the con I was in the front row with my friends. It was amazing but at the same time I felt a little bit observed lol Pietro was the first one who greeted me and then Nicholas recognized me ;;

After the panel, my friend and I decided to take a picture with Federico because he was too beautiful with that blue sweater and when we went to take the picture he gave us a tight hug that I will remember forever. I don't know why but I was more nervous than the previous times... maybe because he was even more beautiful than usual lol

Then we queued for the Fede + Rocco duo and I don’t know where I found the courage but I showed them a photo in which two people were kissing a girl on the cheek and this happened sdifhoisadpo

Damn Fede has really soft lips, I cry just thinking about it. I left the room shaking like a leaf lol Then we went to the autographs of Nicholas, Greta and Beatrice. Greta and Bea were a wonderful surprise. They are both so kind and sweet. When Greta saw my drawing she gave me a hug and said ‘thank you’ a hundred of times. She was sooo cute! ;;

Even Beatrice thanked me so much and complimented me and said “You drew me so hot!” And I was like "Well, you are" haha

Then I went to Nicholas and this happened:

Nicholas: Hi! I'm a big fan of yours!

And I smiled at him sooo embarrassed.

Nicholas: I don't know how to thank you! I’m very tired after a drawing, you draw 10 drawings every day! You're very good.

Then Greta arrived at his table and said: Did you see my beautiful drawing with the pink background?

And he was like: Mine is gray! :(

Me: I made the backgrounds based on the shirt you had in the photos and you always have a black shirt.

Nicholas: I have to do a photoshoot then haha

Nicholas then asked me to show some of my drawings to Bea and when I showed her my Instagram profile she remembered those I had done for her and Greta added: Oh my God you made me the drawing of me and Nini kissing? It's beautiful! ; _;

This is Nicholas’ autograph. He drew me Luchino eating pizza’s crusts LOL

Then we went to the autographs of Pietro, Fede and Rocco and I have to say that this was one of the most beautiful moments of the Convention. When Pietro saw me he greeted me with an "Hello darling, how are you?" And before I answered he said: "Did you bring me something?" And when I gave him the drawing he said: “Oh my God, it's awesome! This is a new one!”

Me: “Well, yes, I couldn't post it before, it had to be a surprise!”

Pietro: “Can I keep it? ;)”

Me: “Sure it's for you! Also, sorry if I tag you on so many drawings.”

Pietro: “It makes me so happy! You drew the futuristic black and white one, the one where I’m in Venice, the one with the flag you gave me last time and ... this, right? (he remembered all of them ; ___;) And then he added: “But you drew Federico more :( AHAHAH”

Then I went to Fede and he said: “I know that yesterday was your birthday so… HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” And he sent me a kiss. I died. Then I gave him the drawing and he thanked me and he looked at me with a pleased smile saying: “What can I write here ..?” And he wrote me this beautiful autograph that I’ve to frame.

Then, without saying anything, he got up and hugged me and it was a beautiful moment because I didn't want to let him go. Maybe that was the best hug- not only because it lasted longer but because I could tell him how grateful I was for everything.

Then I went to Rocco and he greeted me with a big smile saying: “Hello Giulia, how are you ?!” And I was actually dying inside so I immediately gave him the drawing and he said something like: “Wtf is this a drawing? Oh my God it’s amazing thank you so much” and he showed it to Fede.

Then in the afternoon there were other panels but for those I will make a special mentions at the end of the post.

Then there was Fede and Rocco meet & greet. It was pretty weird because we were all so shy and we didn’t know what to say so they told us something that happened on set during Marti and Nico reunion on the terrace in 2x09.

Fede: “Ludovico told us ‘Kiss!', so we did it. It was so romantic, but when we stopped, I noticed that I had Rocco's snot on my cheek. So I said: WHAT THE FUCK IS IT? THIS IS DISGUSTING! and the atmosphere was ruined.

Rocco: “It's true HAHAHA”

Fede: “I had your snot on me all the time! You were always crying!

Rocco: "Yes, there was an important exchange of body fluids. AHHA”

Then we went to eat the pizza with the cast. The first one who sat at our table was Federico. I was the first one to get the pizza and he said: “Well you're the birthday girl that’s why they gave you the pizza first”. I just smiled like an idiot and he said: “Eat it or it gets cold!"

Me: "No, I'm waiting for you …"

He: “But if it gets cold, it sucks”. (it sucked anyway haha)

Then me and my friends started arguing with him bc Federico claimed that the pizza has to be cut in 8 pieces (and we were cutting it in 4). Thankfully Pietro arrived and supported us and told Fede: “Stop being so annoying” ahah.

After that, there was the most embarrassing interaction that I've ever had with him. We looked at each other and he smiled, so I smiled back but I was too nervous to say anything. Basically we kept smiling for like 15 seconds and it all ended with an embarrassing silence :))))

Then Rocco sat right next to me and he was so… excited? Haha

Rocco: “Did you eat today?”

Me: “No, we were anxious…”

Rocco: “Why? C’mon we know each other now! We’re friends!” (I almost cried, I swear).

Then I showed him a bracelet that my friends bought me for my bday (a heart with the word ‘Sbedemmic’ written on it) and he enlightened and said: “Nooo! Oh my god! Sbedemmic !? A-ma-zing!”

Then we asked him how to pronounce “Maxence” and Rocco called him at out table and Maxence rushed to us leaning towards us and we were blown away because he has really beautiful eyes and honestly I didn't even listen to what he said ahaha

Then Nicholas joined us and said "I want to sit right next to Giulia” (I wanted to hug him ;u;) and we talked about drawings and it was wonderful. Then at a certain point I don't remember what he wanted to ask Bea and he started to call her addressing a girl at the table next to ours and only after a while we pointed out that Bea was sitting on the other side of the room and he was like: “Who was I calling? The girl doesn't even have hair like Bea!” HAHAH

Before he left we hugged each other tight and we thanked each other for everything.

Maxence is literally an elf. He is nice, funny and he gave me a lot of positivity. We asked him to take a photo all together and he immediately put the glass of wine down because “If my mom sees the picture she gets angry” xD He said he never had the chance to interact so much with the fans at the events and that he thinks it’s amazing to create a bond with us.

Then I apologized bc I tag him on a lot of drawings and he asked me “Wait, what did you draw?”

Before I answered him he started to jump on the chair saying “The raccoon one!?”

Me: “Yes, even the-”

He: “The one with the shirt! Come on, let me see it!”

So I showed him the drawing and he exclaimed: “YEEEEES! THIS ONE! YEEEEES! THE SHIRT!!!”

He thanked me and I closed instagram, but I had forgotten to change my background and I had a photograph of me with Federico.

Maxence saw it and said: “Is that your boyfriend?"

And I said: “I WISH!”

I swear I didn't want to say it out loud, but it was spontaneous. He widened his eyes and literally burst into laughing while I turned RED. I apologized saying it wasn’t my intention to say it out loud but he said that he got that bc he read the panic in my eyes as soon as I realized it, but he appreciated my spontaneity and he said that it will be our little secret xD (then we talked outside and we took a couple of photos, he even chose the poses AHAHAH but then we got caught and the staff told him to go inside xD).

1 December

The second day in the morning we went to the autographs of Robin and Lukas and they both thanked me so much for the drawings (I will never forget their expressions ;;).

After giving Lukas the drawing he stood up and hugged me tight and he was the sweetest, with his beautiful and kind smile :’)

Then I took a photo with Nicholas

and a duo with Maxence and Rocco where I asked for a group hug and Maxence said: A POLIPATA ?! (an Italian word that idk how to translate. Obviously Rocco taught him that haha it’s like “hugging like an octopus” lol)

The last photos were those with Federico. When I showed him the photo I wanted to do he made an expression that I will never forget a mix between a smile and ;) and he said: “Uh, today we are in the mood for kisses”. And of course I turned BRIGHT RED :DDD

The last activity of the day was the autograph with Maxence. He thanked me for the drawing and said "You made me a beautiful drawing, so I will also make your own beautiful drawing" and he made a stylized character of me ahaha

At the cocktail party Maxence was the first one to sit with us! He didn’t know what to say so he asked us to do a toast and we all said in chorus 'cin-cin' and he said: "Do you know that ‘cin-cin’ means vagina in Chinese?” Ahah This was the highlight of our conversation.

Then Nicholas and Rocco came at our table and we talked all the time about medicines and reflux lmao We looked like the geriatric department bc they said that all the cocktails tasted like medicines lol

Then Pietro and Fede arrived, both sooo tired, but Fede greeted us with "Hello rays of sunshine!" And we were literally dying . Pietro said he was worried about not being able to return home because he would have arrived after midnight and he didn't have the keys. "I can't call someone and say "Hi, I'm the guy who lives upstairs" ahaha

Then we talked to Lukas and Robin and they were so cute ;; Lukas is a very interesting person, he has a pure soul and it was a pleasure to know him ;;

In the end, Bea and Greta arrived and we gossiped a lot, especially about boys haha

Best moments of PANELs:

-Nicholas said his favorite word is Australopithecus Robustus and Greta said "Fregno" (it’s a slang for ‘hot’) xD

-Fede said his Spirit animal is a Golden Retriever and that Martino’s is a fox

-Fede made fun of Rocco because he spoke with metaphors that didn’t make any sense so Fede was like: Enough Rocco, enough! Stop it! THAT'S ENOUGH!

-We made a video for Bea and everyone cried in the room

-THE KARAOKE

-Fede said that Rocco didn’t know how to ride a bicycle and they had to shoot that scene a lot of times

-Fede complimented Rocco and then he gave the microphone to him saying: “Come on, I’m waiting.” Because he wanted to get compliments too haha

-Rocco sat in the audience and asked Fede the story of Bambi and Fede called him “Er Lucertola (lizard)” in revenge and said that the name of Bambi was born because of a toxic (Rocco haha)

-Pietro who answered BOH to all the questions haha

-When a girl mentioned the 4th season (even if we couldn’t) and everyone said to keep hoping and thanked us for fighting so much during these months and then Rocco said: Yes, thank you very much for the support. Without you it wouldn't have been pos— Everyone: ROCCO !!!!! haha

-When another girl talked about Massimo Reale -Dr. Spera- (referring to the photos he posted from the 4th season’s set) and then Bea said: She just wanted to know the name of Dr. Spera and yes, it’s Massimo Reale xD

-Rocco screaming SBEDEM

Here’s some pics I took at the panels :)

Everything was AWESOME! I miss them all so much ;;

Please if you want to use one of these pics tag my instagram account: here

#skam italia #skam france #druck #federico cesari #maxence danet fauvel #rocco fasano #robin migne #lukas von horbatschewsky #beatrice bruschi #greta ragusa #pietro turano #nicholas zerbini #skamit cast #share the love #i #i fede #i rocco

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karliesbuzzcut · 5 years ago

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When art really speaks to you, pt. 2: probably just a coincidence but idk

Disclaimer: all these theories are rabbit holes on their own, so trying to explain them in a couple of paragraphs is, automatically, doing them a disservice. Especially since I’m only going to be primarily addressing the part of the theory that focuses on the artist communicating with their public through their work.

Since I’ve already dedicated paragraphs to the introduction in part 1, let’s just jump into it.

Leonardo Da Vinci’s fuckton of theories.

Let’s start with the daddy of all conspiracies. After all, not many can gloat about their reachings becoming a movie starring Tom Hanks.

The thing with Da Vinci’s conspiracies is that there are so many of them, and they range from “maybe this is also a painting made by Da Vinci but he wasn’t credited because of reasons” to ALIENS. Which, I think, shows how different our interpretations of art can be, and how much it depends on an already established worldview.

But the most interesting part isn’t the conclusions, but how people look for clues. For example, just like people say Taylor Swift is obsessed with numbers or oranges (depending who you ask, I guess), Da Vinci was supposedly a big fan of reflections. So, if you want to decode his paintings you must mirror them... and then move then a little bit... there you go, you’ve just found yourself an alien...! Or a daemon...! Or someone wearing a funny hat! And that’s totally what he wanted us to find, right? Why else would he had shown any sort of interest in reflections if he didn’t want us to reflect everything!!

Shakespeare is an illusion... kinda, but yeah.

Personally, I think Kaylors would love to dig into this one. Sure, it doesn’t have many lesbians playing political spies. But it does involve a lot of literature analysis. Just like Kaylors don’t think a heterosexual woman could’ve written Taylor’s songs; some people (referred as anti-Stratfordians, thank you very much) don’t think someone from a lower class could’ve written Shakespeare’s plays.

Here’s the tea... the very cold tea: because Shakespeare was the son of a glover, anti-Stratfordians say he couldn’t have had the knowledge to write his plays. They, instead, come up with a list of “more suitable” writers that could’ve worked together. But they decided to keep their identities a secret because being a play writer, at that time, wasn’t respectable. Here, we will start noticing a trend with Conspiracy Theories: society, as a whole, can’t handle the truth, only a selected few. That’s where Francis Bacon comes in.

Francis Bacon was a very smart dude. He, also, worked for the state - giving him the credentials to be worthy of writing Shakespeare calibre plays. And also, also, he developed a method to conceal messages in the presentation of a text. To be able to do this, you would need to use two typefaces. Guess what has more than one typeface? Shakespeare’s plays.

I have to say - while I don’t believe either theory we have seen, they are somewhat understandable. We barely know anything about Shakespeare and Da Vinci beyond their work, so it’s normal that people are trying to figure out who they were; what did they believed in; where did they get all of their knowledge. We like theorising about the answers to these questions, knowing we’ll never get a confirmed truth. Not so the case with our next conspiracy...

Lewis Carroll was Jack the Ripper - someone had to be, right?

Now, allow me to fangirl all over this one. It combines my interests for conspiracy theories, true crime and pop-culture.

I’m assuming everyone here knows about Jack the Ripper: a serial killer who murdered at least 5 people (mainly prostitutes) in London, between the years 1888 and 1891. Well, someone looked at this and thought “you know what this murder-mystery is missing? Famous people”. Well, this theory says that the author of Alice in Wonderland did it He was the only celebrity living nearby at the time of the killings, so... 🤷‍♀️

This becomes a case of “I have already made up my mind about this issue, so I’m going to go ahead and search for proof that confirms it”. Authors and, now, internet sleuths went through his books, selected this random-ass excerpt from the nursery version of Alice and decided it was an anagram. And a crappy one at that. Supposedly, if you arrange the letters you get a detailed and gruesome confession. You, however, have to take away some letter and add others. Listen, I’m not an English major, but I’ve heard that’s cheating.

This theory also has that characteristic we mentioned: the “I don’t want to admit it out loud, so I’m going to come up with convoluted ways for my audience to figure it out” - which almost borders on psychotic behaviour. But at least it, somewhat, works with the serial killer narrative, you know? Not very much with Taylor, a woman who simply wants to chill with her girlfriend.

The moon landing was fake and directed by Stanley Kubrick.

I’m not going to dig into the moon landing conspiracy, this post is going to be long enough already. Just know that, when the USA government was planning to fake the whole thing, they had just watched ‘2001: A Space Odyssey’ and they were all like “that’s so cool! That’s how we want our fake moon landing to look!” So they contacted its director, Kubrick.

According to the theory, Kubrick felt really guilty afterwards but he couldn’t say anything about it because he signed an NDA? it would be dangerous, I guess. So he did the same thing Taylor would do decades later: he “spelled it out” for us on his work, under the excuse of “I didn’t explicitly said it, did I? My most intelligent and attractive fans just happened to figure it out for themselves”.

The movie ‘The Shinning’ has been analysed to shreds. Think ‘Look What You Made Me Do’ music video, but 2 hours and 26 minutes instead. There are many theories about its underlying theme, but we’re only focusing on the moon landing one. The biggest piece of evidence, according to believers, comes from that famous scene in the hallway. Basically, the kid, Danny, is on the floor playing and wearing an Apollo 11 sweater. He stands up = the rocket launches. He walks to Room N.237. Which is almost an anagram for MOON - but actually, a perfect anagram for MORON - I didn’t come up with that joke, I’m just sharing it. Anyway. In the book, the room number is 217 but Kubrick changed it to 237 because there are 237,000 miles between the Earth and the Moon... except that’s not exactly true, but this is their Kissgate, you see?

“Paul is Dead” aka “the granddaddy of Kaylor is Real”

Now, this is THE conspiracy theory. Kaylors would love to have the amount of evidence this theory has. Give them 50 years, they’ll get there.

Our story starts in 1966, Paul McCartney dies in a car accident. The British Government panics, “this will drive our teenagers into a massive suicide!” So they cover it up. They find this guy who looks like Paul and hire him to replace the original.

You might’ve only heard about those stores where pop-stars get their beards. But there’s also a branch that focuses on celebrity look-a-likes.

The rest of The Beatles went along with it (because that’s how these artists seem to operate, they’re always the victims of their circumstances) but they did not like it. So - you guessed it - they used their music, artwork, photo-shoots, etc. to communicate the truth. Faux-Paul might’ve felt a bit awkward about it, but he’s a nice chap and let the other guys work through their grief.

Kaylors might have agreed on blue being the colour of breaks up and yellow is for Karlie-Sunshine; but the Paul-truthers concluded white is the colour of heaven, jeans are for gravediggers and black for morticians... oh! And not wearing shoes means you’re dead. Taylor being near a door symbolises her leaving the closet; Paul being near an open trunk symbolises him being in a coffin. Is the letter K, for Karlie, surrounding Taylor? Well, there’s a 28IF in the plaques of a car, for Paul being 28 IF he hadn’t died. People hear a phantasmagorical “she” in ‘Call It What You Want’; just like people heard “I buried Paul” in ‘Strawberry Fields Forever’.

If you have never looked up this theory, I seriously recommend it. There are so many parallels with Kaylor. Here’s a 30 minute video, if you’re interested. It summarises the theory neatly while discussing the effects that these, seemingly innocent, conspiracies have on the way we absorb information.

Paul might be dead but 2pac is very much alive.

If I haven’t made it clear by now, I think it’s very deceptive to use a musician’s lyrics to back up your alternate version of events. As confessional as these verses can be, they’re still a form of art. Which, in terms of music lyrics, they need to follow certain parameters, as well as a desired sound. And, as many other forms of art, they might focus a bit more on transmitting a feeling, rather than an accurate portrayal of reality.

Why am I stopping to say all of this now? Well, because this specific theory relies a lot on Tupac’s lyrics.

A bit of context: In 1996, Tupac Shakur was shot 4 times while at a stoplight. He died from his injuries days later. While there are theories, to this day, no one knows who killed him. Unless you believe one of those theories, which claims no one did.

The believers of this theory cite Tupac’s lyrics to argue that he was explicitly telling his fans that he was going to fake his own death. Here are two examples:

I’ve been shot and murdered, can’t tell you how it happened word for word but best believe that n*****’ gonna get what they deserve. - Richie Rich’s N***** Done Change

I heard rumours that I died murdered in cold blood, traumatised pictures of me in my final states — you know mama cried. But that was fiction, some coward got the story twisted - Aint’ Hard 2 Find

Just like anti-Kaylors don’t necessarily oppose the idea of Taylor being gay; I bet the “antis” of this theory aren’t happy Tupac died and weren’t against his existence on the first place. It’s more of an argument about confusing your feelings with facts, just because they can be more comforting or exciting.

“Avril Lavigne is dead”... or “every artist you think is alive is, actually, dead and, the ones you think are dead, aren’t” I guess.

After everything we have seen, this one isn’t that interesting. The real Avril died in 2003, right after her first album. Her record label bought a new one. Proof? She says ‘dead’ in ‘My Happy Ending’, blah, blah. A poor man’s “Paul is Dead”.

I added it, mainly for the lulz, after the last entry, I needed them. But also because it all started with a blog. What’s hilarious is that the guy who created it admitted he only did it to show how gullible people are but, at that point, he had already convinced people about. The conspirators didn’t need him anymore. So they discarded him but not the Theory... which just reminds me a little too much of how TCG, HBH, Jennyboom &co. have been excommunicated from the Church of Kaylor.

Beyonce and Jay Z are members of the sexy sexy Illuminati.

I did not save the best for last. But maybe I’m just biased because the Illuminati theory bores me to death. However, if you allow me a bit of social criticism... remember how the Shakespeare Conspiracy started because a bunch of classicist people didn’t believe a lower class citizen could write such good plays? I think this one has a bit of that. I’d bet my life that this one started when a bunch of white dudes got super uncomfortable by black people being so talented and earning their successful.

What this Conspiracy shows, too, is the amplifying effect the internet has had on the proliferation of such theories. Most of the conspiracies I’ve mentioned were huge... but how were you supposed to communicate your ideas and add to the old ones, before the internet? You could publish a book. Talk about it at parties. And, at some point, there were internet forums but, still, you can’t compare that to how widespread Social Media is nowadays.

Today, we can watch someone ramble for 2 hours on YouTube about how Beyonce looks like a robot if you watch Single Ladies in reverse; read someone’s dissertation of ‘Apeshit’; or spend all night looking at those pictures where someone has drawn a red circle around anything that resembles a triangle.

It might look like a lot of evidence but that’s only because there are a lot of people very attached to this theory. Wanting - for whatever reason - for it to be true (perhaps because it would confirm that their fears about the world were well founded). And all those dozens or hundredths of people were working together to form as many patterns as possible.

Unfortunately we are going to keep talking about the Illuminati in Part 3 but also about Taylor, so that should be nice. Because - to the surprise of absolutely no one - there’s a bunch of people who also think they understand Taylor better than the rest. That they have figured out her secret codes and her ultimate message. Only, not all of those theories involve lesbian supermodels, so they aren’t as popular on Tumblr.

#Kaylor #conspiracy theory

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mbti-notes · 5 years ago

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Anonymous asked:

Hello. How to be a well-known and well-liked person at work?

Why do you want to know? What is your underlying motivation? When you approach personal learning and development without a clear or authentic intention, you are liable to stumble badly and get unpleasant results. Your question includes a lot of confused thinking, which is a major part of the problem.

I used to think that knowledge and working hard are the only things necessary for success at work. I haven't had a career yet. but I hear from others that other factors and office politics are also involved. Good comunication and social skills, being liked by coworkers and bosses for example. There are people who join a workplace/college and after a short time, they know almost everyone and everyone knows them, trusts and loves them. Bosses like and respect them, don't want replace them, etc.

You seem to “think” a lot of things. And to what end exactly? Do you enjoy “thinking” yourself into a pit of worry? You don’t possess any meaningful experience, yet you still claim to “know” things based only on some imaginings and secondhand information. This kind of speculation is problematic, a bad cognitive habit that should be stopped, because it is counter-productive to learning and growth. You are misinterpreting the few facts that you’re hearing. Yes, it is a fact that some people are good at socializing, but what does that mean for YOU? Does it mean that you have to be just like them? Yes, good social skills are required to succeed in some work environments? But all of them? Don’t jump to conclusions so quickly. You can’t seem to tell the difference between a fact and your own faulty interpretations of the fact.

Do you believe that you can become a good footballer by listening to people talk about how to play or describe their impressions of a few matches they watched? Secondhand information is subjective and anecdotal. You take the few facts that were presented and then you stitch together an elaborate narrative of some abstract “workplace” that you believe represents ultimate reality. This is very poor reasoning. In the end, you construct a very distorted view of the world and become blinded by faulty or oversimplified beliefs about how the world works. All this before having even stepped out the door, so to speak.

While I like to have that, I don't have the energy or skills for that as an introvert. I don't know how to start a good conversation or get people to like me, trust me and open up to me. I would naturally want to get the job done and go home. I'm not really interested in people's lives. meeting with more than seven people or going somewhere crowded gives me social anxiety and sensory overload. and Idk what is ok to say/ask in convos. Idk if I should be friendly or professional with bosses, supervisors and coworkers. or what behavior is ok or too much.

If you want to learn, then learn. There are lots of resources available out there. If you don't want to learn, then don't. It's your choice to make, as it's your life to live. DO YOU OR DO YOU NOT WANT TO LEARN? I can’t help you if you are stuck in contradiction and talking out of both sides of your mouth, saying that you both want but don’t want (i.e. unaware of who you really are or what you really want). How are you ever going to get motivated when you can’t commit to any particular desire/goal/direction?

If you suffer from severe social anxiety, get professional help for it. Social skills can be learned, just like learning how to play football by actually playing it though hours of practice. If you want to learn any worthwhile skill, you must put in time and effort to study and practice repeatedly, to get better gradually - it is certainly tiring - no pain, no gain. Is feeling “tired” the end of the world? You seem to believe that it is for some strange reason, which means that you’re not willing to put in the work? If you’re not willing to work hard, that is the end of the story.

So I just stay safe, overly formal, independent and polite. I prefer to be alone. During long hours of college or socializing, I stay quiet and anxious, get headaches and feel dizzy/confused. And I'm not on any social media because I don't care about the pictures people post about family, pets, celebs. I'm also not assertive and I'm afraid of drama or ppl hurting/using me.

"Stay safe" is the key phrase. Generally speaking, an excessive desire for safety is rooted in emotional problems, often stemming from painful memories and/or traumatic experiences. Until you resolve the emotional problems that keep you stuck and resistant against venturing outside your comfort zone, you won’t be able to grow as a person. The heavier the emotional baggage you’re unconsciously dragging around, the more “tiring” the learning process is, because there are too many self-inflicted psychological obstacles holding you back.

Instead of facing up to your emotional problems, you’d rather entertain useless speculation about imaginary workplaces and people you haven’t met yet, making yourself more and more scared (in order to justify isolation)? It’s quite easy to speculate and imagine all the possible threats out there in the world. It’s hard to examine the reality of how much you fear being hurt and how the fear twists your perception of reality. You keep taking the easy road and then wonder why you never get anywhere. DO YOU OR DO YOU NOT WANT TO CHANGE? Once again, I can’t help you if you are stuck in contradiction and talking out of both sides of your mouth, saying that you both like and don’t like how you are (i.e. unaware of who you really are or what you really want). I only help people who are fully committed to change.

I already know the consequences of being the way I am.

I’d argue that you don't understand - another example of thinking that you “know” when you really don’t. You've emphasized that you prefer to be alone, which means that you LIKE the consequences - your feelings tell the true story. You don't perceive the consequences as being negative, so why would you change your behavior? If you like isolation, isolate. Why not just “be yourself” and live the life that you want? Who says that you have to be anything but what you are? Why do you even care about any of this “social” stuff (that you also claim to not care about)? Why pressure yourself to be something that you’re not? If you put the pressure on yourself, then you take it off at any time.

But “being yourself”, if you’re doing it properly, won’t lead you into an unhealthy tertiary loop, so you’re not doing it properly, are you? If you’re not ready to leave your loop, don’t. Keep pretending that you’re “staying true” to your antisocial self, keep enjoying the safety of isolation, until you can’t live in denial anymore. That’s how most people have to play out their tertiary loop.

One day, when you’ve had enough, you may realize that your desire for isolation isn’t actually “staying true” to who you are and what you want. One day, you may realize that “staying true to yourself” was just an excuse, that you don’t really know yourself at all, and that your self-image has been nothing but a twisted little ball of fear all along. In other words, right now, your idea of “being yourself” is actually just being a scared little puppy that hides from every loud noise - is this what you really are and want to be? Is there nothing more to you than fear? Do you want to spend your entire life under the spell of the irrational fears you have conjured up to protect your comfort zone?

I need your help. How can I develop interest in people? How can I have more energy to socialize? How can I gain social skills and get people to like me, trust me, open up with me and let me in? (without being fake or pushy?).

Very simple: You have to care about more than just yourself and your own safety and comfort. But this is impossible if you leave your fear unaddressed and it continues to hijack your whole mindset. When you live in fear, you are all too willing to believe that people are bad and the world is terrible (based on selective evidence gathering), only looking out for yourself and your own feelings, which, in the end, amounts to starting every relationship in an extreme state of defensiveness and self-centeredness. A person needs to know you to like you, and how would they know you when you are emotionally closed-off and obviously hostile to their advances, when all you show them is coldness? A positive relationship should be built through the connection of two open and trusting hearts. Cynicism about people or society is merely a convenient cover that allows fearful or helpless people to feel safe/superior, but only in their own mind. Living in a coffin, worrying or complaining about the outside world without ever venturing out, is surely safe emotionally. But nothing ever happens there, does it? You’ve put yourself in there because you’re scared, which means that it’s up to you to own your fear and step out anyway.

How can I maintain relationships?

By putting in the time and effort to build your social skills and learn through firsthand relationship experiences. By taking the time to care about something other than yourself. Even psychopaths manage to care about the people closest to them. Is the problem that you can’t care or that you won’t care? If it’s a problem of won’t, why won’t you?

Relationship skills aren’t something that can be summarized in one paragraph, especially if you have a lot of dysfunctional relationship habits to unlearn. I've already recommended many relevant books on the resources list. Are you a good learner? From what you’ve said, I suspect that you have trouble learning or accepting advice because you always think that you know better and/or have an excuse ready to rebut good advice? If you’re serious about learning, then devote yourself fully to studying and practicing.

How can I learn office politics? How can I make my bosses like/trust me without seeming fake?

"Office politics" is not what you believe it is - dismantle your faulty fearful beliefs. Every workplace is just a group of people, made up of various individuals, some of them not too different from you. The quality of a group depends on the quality of the individuals and what they contribute to it collectively, and this varies quite widely from group to group and the size of it. If you contribute negativity, you influence others to be negative. If you contribute positivity, you influence others to be positive. But you don’t care about how you affect others because you don’t even recognize that you have any power to affect anything due to your fear, passivity, and helplessness. All you care about is whether you get paid? Work has no other benefit or purpose besides monetary compensation?

Some of the surest signs of having poor social skills include:

mindreading: presuming to know what people think/feel with little to no evidence; grossly misinterpreting people’s intentions/behavior due to fear, insecurity, anxiety, or overactive imagination

prejudice: making blanket/overgeneralized judgments about individuals, groups, or society based on very selective “facts” or superficial characteristics; unable to treat people as individuals to be dealt with in an adaptable case-by-case basis

self-centeredness: compulsively resorting to inauthentic and/or defensive behavior to manipulate social situations for personal reward/comfort; unable to understand situations from other people’s point of view

You suffer all three problems. You are quick to assume that people have ill-intentions. You like to divide people up into these or those “kinds” of people. You only care about people in terms of whether they make you feel good/bad and inexplicably refuse to care about their perspective.

A healthy relationship should be mutually satisfying in order to establish a sense of connectedness. A healthy relationship should be mutually beneficial in order to establish a sense of equality. A healthy relationship should include mutual caring and sharing in order to establish intimacy. Why would anyone want to enter a relationship with you if you make them feel uneasy, unsatisfied, and uncared for? Would you want to enter a relationship with you? If you’re a terrible friend, you’ll feel undeserving of friendship, because, deep down, you believe that you don’t deserve any kindness for never giving any kindness to anyone. If you want good friendships, you must first be a good friend. If you’re not willing to open up emotionally to care for people, that is the end of the story.

How can I make sure people don't see me as a good target to hurt, use or gossip about?

What is the source of your paranoia? Why is your first stance towards the social world one of negativity, fear, mistrust, suspicion, attack-and-defense? If you’ve been hurt before and that’s why you’re scared, then address that problem. Serious questions: Have you ever known LOVE? Have you ever known a caring, supportive, empathetic, and intimate relationship with someone? If you haven’t, for whatever reason, then you have a lot to learn about relationships. But going around pretending that you already know how people are (out to get you) and how the social world works (to victimize you) is not going to help you learn. You won’t learn if you already presume to know.

I haven't had a job yet. but I'm honestly afraid of having a career for these reasons.

You can’t prepare for every situation in life. No amount of mental preparation is going to eliminate your fear when the fear itself is always left unaddressed. Go out into the world, live your life, learn from your experiences. That's how life goes. But you don't want to live in real life, do you? You prefer living in your own imagination, pretending to know what the world is like without proper breadth of experience?

"Afraid" is the key word. Are you really ready to confront your fear? I don't think you are yet because you are still talking about how nice it is to be safely protected by tertiary loop. No one can force you to let go of your faulty beliefs when you depend on them so much for safety. You overthink and overanalyze, speculate and imagine, turn human beings into abstractions, convince yourself that you “know” when you really don’t... all for what? It is all a defense mechanism that keeps you trapped within yourself, ruminating in circles. It's all just meant to hide the fact that you are afraid, helpless, and willfully ignorant (in twisting the facts). The solution to fear is to actively confront it. The solution to helplessness is mastering the appropriate social and emotional skills. The solution to willful ignorance is humility: let go of what you think you know so that you can finally start to learn fresh.

#social skills #people skills #social anxiety #ti loop #friendship #career #past #baggage #emotional intelligence #ask

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