#idk i just wish my dad had a better dad

[yourworldiseternallycomplete]

my dad called to tell me that his father died and also that he's been listening to this podcast about an unsolved chlorine bomb at a furry convention in chicago

[maeamian]

When I was a young excited physics student I went down to my advisor and asked for a job in a lab. Those of you who are in the sciences may recognize this as exceedingly common, most schools with science departments will hire undergrads for their labs both to give the undergrads experience and to have someone comparatively cheap to do the least skilled labor in those labs.

For me, the lab I was sent to was one doing cool photonics projects and I was assigned to a guy who was doing the theoretical modeling for them and I got put on a side project for them to develop a method to double check their results using Monte Carlo simulations.

Put bluntly, I toiled away in the little cubicle they had me in for about half a year before I transferred to a different school without ever having produced anything of any particular value other than a Monte Carlo simulation whose temperature readings were not taking into account the existence of a heat sink and therefore got overwhelmed by thermal photons in a completely inaccurate and unhelpful way.

Ultimately, many tasks, farmed out like this in a speculative way to undergrads, fail, certainly it's not exceptional that mine did and I learned a lot about the process in the process, so it wasn't wasted time for me, but it produced absolutely nothing the lab could use to further its results.

This is where it turns from a little anecdote about my work history into a morality tale, because what I have thus far deliberately failed to tell you is that the lab I was assigned to is a provider of radar services to the US Military. Had I produced anything of any value whatsoever the work I did would have been used by the US military to help with its capacity to deliver bombs. This is, unfortunately, as those of you who are in the sciences may recognize, also exceedingly common. Luckily, and through no foresight or moral thinking of my own, simply the inexperience of youth, I produced nothing of value but view the path they tried to set me down as a grim warning of what might have been.

I'm not asking for forgiveness, the harm I might have done was not done by me, although I'm also sure was done without my help. They didn't need it to be me they just needed someone with basic calculus knowledge who wouldn't think too hard about the connection between the work and the world, and they were happy enough that particular warm body was me.

So this is my plea, if you're young and getting involved in the sciences because you're passionate about knowledge and understanding our place in the universe. When you go to get that job in that lab that's such a good stepping stone to the next thing you want to do, take a second and look into where that lab's funding is coming from. If it turns out it's the military, maybe then take another second and really deeply consider what kind of thing your work can be used to do and if you would like some of the most bloodthirsty people on the planet to be able to do that thing because of your help.

I got lucky that I didn't help, but I'm hoping that with this warning you might be able to not help on purpose which is a greater moral good than what I managed.

[vendarkoe]

playing slow damage rn why'd they have my beautiful genderqueer king cut off his hair at the end of his route what are we doing to our queens

[insanechayne]

~ ~ ~

[wren-kitchens]

yk when you can feel yourself starting to stop caring about stuff you love and you are White Knuckling through it because no I Will still love this so fucking help me

[girlivealwaysbean]

it would feel so nice to work towards a career that has meaningful impact and makes millions of people happy

[bongsavior]

HOWEVER !!!!!!!!!!

[beepmon]

life is bad and i’m filled with rage

[streetdumpster]

I think (as much as I annoyingly complain and whine about not having a partner) being single this long has been good for me. I'm learning a lot about myself and I'm learning why I was a shit person, and through finding the root of the problem I can kind of... start to heal. I can be nicer to myself so I can grow and get better. Because TBH.. being mean and cruel to yourself doesn't make you become a better person. It just makes you believe that thats what you /are,/ and thats what you /always will be,/ as opposed to realizing that you are a product of your circumstances but that does not mean you can't get better and become a better person. Accepting help and trying to get better so you can eventually love yourself – even if no one else does – is the greatest and loveliest thing you can do for yourself. You deserve that love, you exist and you live and you feel and that is a truly beautiful gift.

[milo-is-rambling]

I forget how much I hate the taste of vodka but the whipped cream vodka is so much better my god

[disorderly]

Everything is triggering again

[lavellane]

ok. ok. i think im finally (mostly) settled on elspeth's ending and her handling of the landsmeet in particular. illegible hysteria below

i spent like 20 hours of this game hyping up an alistair/anora alliance but i dont think i can do it in practice im too weak Lol. BUT i do like the idea of trying it anyway and it falling apart bc everything always falls apart in this universe. so yeah, alistair does do the dual in the end, despite what i said the other day (he's the one who at this point wants to be king. so why not) much to ella's horror. the detail i mentioned about loghain being the only person to defeat her in her tourney days still carries symbolic weight, because it was ELLA who trained and mentored and levelled alistair up through the blight. shes like babe if i cant beat him you shouldnt risk it !! and so him then BEATING loghain regardless is a nice lil "student surpasses the teacher" moment and also drives home that ella is a good commander and theyre both stronger than they were.

ofc this means alistair obviously goes rogue and does what he does at the end of the fight — regardless of the promises of mercy ella made to anora and their attempts at an alliance lol. which sucks and its not as neat a solution, but emotions were high and its understandable and also L + ratio + loghain sold elves into slavery. ella got her vengeance over howe earlier so shes like sigh ok anyways. SO. the alliance is a bust, but alistair is hardened anyway so its not the end of the world. he rules alone post canon with ella still as adviser and his mistress, BUT :) im thinking about him refusing to take a wife in this path, specifically because he's trying to convince ELLA to marry him and make it official. she always rejects him but its in an ahaha.... unless 👀 kinda way that encourages him to keep trying. i mean the only reason she doesnt feel like she can is bc Duty and Responsibilities and Obligations blah blah blah..... ALL of which she could still honor while being queen. so yeah. completing her story and having her reaffirm her grey warden duty + alistair's king duty, and their mutual dark ritual sacrifice, but with the open ended possibility that a happier ending IS possible at some point ! when she's ready ! maybe after she cures the taint :) who knows

[theafrochick]

And so it begins again. I love going in early. I love working full time hours and not getting the benefits that come with it.

[nomairuins]

thank GODDD the doctor is taking time to work on himself maybe now he can stop ruining womens lives .

[peppermintbutch]

it's vienna billy joel time of the year again huh

[jonny-b-meowborn]

Btw that lil meltdown I had a while ago, the one about not having any safe spaces, was caused because I was thinking about pet regression. Like, today's stress made me feel more dog like. And I was wondering, if the things I feel classify as pet regression, and if not, if I could be able to achieve that if I like, just fully allowed myself to lean into that. And then I was like, yeah but I don't have any opportunities to try because i never feel fully safe and comfortable enough. So yeah once again everything is about me being a dog