#idk i just need to vent
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i hate how much control my mum has over my emotions
#i live in another state and i don’t think she has any idea that i’m queer#but she calls me and when i pick up i can’t hear anything on the other end and i’m ready to cry#i don’t even know what i think happened#she called me twice#i missed the first one but i have an excuse cause it was on skype#i’m so fucking worried#i can’t cope with coming out right now#idk i just need to vent#fuck i can’t do anything i’m so anxious and it’s an hour until i get home#he speaks
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if you're a white person taking pleasure in the idea that Trump voters of colour are experiencing racist violence from white trumpers because "they got what's coming to them" I don't think you're anti-racist at all, I think you were just waiting for an acceptable target, and you're also fucking weird.
Bad Person Deserves Punishment For Their Sins give me a fucking break and get yourself out of the fucking catholic church. you're all prison abolitionists until you see someone you don't like.
#assholes still do not deserve to be victims of bigotry#people will crow this up and down until they find someone they think is a big enough asshole to really deserve it#watch your cognitive dissonance kids#i really am only speaking to white people here. as a white person.#POC can feel however they feel.#though i still don't think it's an appropriate sentiment to turn into Political Praxis there is of course a need to vent#like idk i don't find any marginalised suffering under fascism funny. i think it's fucking sad.#i think it is sad when right wing gay people experience homophobia and i think it is sad when right wing trans people experience transphobia#and when right wing disabled people experience ableism and when right wing women experience misogyny#leopards eating faces is funny when it's about like. rich people or misogynists or whatever it's.#do you understand that this is punching down?#why are we wasting our energy hoping for the victimisation of specific marginalised people#this would be a great time to do some outreach but instead everyone is just fucking MOCKING THEM#you're so fucking stupid you don't care about The Cause you care about Winning#this shit makes me furious.#have some compassion#the system speaks#USpol#Trump#racism#politics
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When your identity issues collide with your feelings of being unwanted ;p
Oops! Loops angst /personal vent!
Only doodle cuz. eepy.
#no sketch#straight from brain to paper#cuz eepy#in stars and time#isat#isat loop#isat siffrin#isat two hats#it's more-so implied than anything buuuut. kinda important for context imo??#cuz y'know. Not Their family#they already have a Siffrin so there's no need for Them#yk yk#id tag the rest of the party but like.... i barely drew thems......... idk idk i feel like there's not enough of them to tag em yk???#i was originally gonna color this and shit tbh i just. ugh. tired mann i don't wanna do all thatt#maybe i will in the future. probably not but. maybe.#vent#vent art#vent post#my art#art tag
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self proclaimed n*zis will write entire manifestos about how [insert marginalized groups here] are the scum of the earth and then kill them in a mass shooting in hopes of inspiring others to do the same but won’t even be charged with a hate crime, yet luigi killed one (1) man and he’s being charged with terrorism? it’s scary how blatantly the government protects the rich and puts their interests over all else jfc. they’re making the class divide look so much more obvious.
#politics#vent#idk mute one of these words to never see me talk about this stuff again#i just c a n t take it#luigi mangione#like yes if he killed some one he needs to be charged with murder but TERRORISM?
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Ngl it's really annoying seeing the posts that say stuff like "HBO and this fandom are missing the point, you aren't supposed to pick sides, there is no good side, neither side is right, both sides did bad things".
One side was antagonistic for years, one side spoke of committing treason for years, one side staged a coup and usurped the throne, one side committed the first murder and started the war, and that side was not team black.
Team black was forced into war. They all would have lived in peace if not for team green. But oh no, team black retaliated after having crimes committed against them so that makes them just as terrible as the people who put them in that position.
Despite team green being the aggressors in all of this, I guess team black should have just let this all happen without a fight and let themselves be at the mercy of team green. That would have been the only appropriate response to team green's treason and kinslaying apparently.
I also see people try to say both sides were fueled by greed, but how?? Rhaenyra was apparently greedy because she wanted the throne that was rightfully hers, the throne that all the lords recognized her as heir for when the king named her as his successor? Otto Hightower was planning on his family stealing that throne one way or another right from episode one, but somehow both sides are equally in the wrong I guess.
#idk if any of this makes sense but i dont care#i just needed to vent#anti team green#pro team black#anti alicent hightower#house of the dragon#pro house targaryen#team black#rhaenyra targaryen
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yknow what. I wanna say: CSA and COCSA survivors are all incredible, but I also wanna give a shout out to ppl who were exposed to sexual stuff or had any kind of sexual experience as a kid that they either aren't comfortable labelling as or don't consider abuse, but they know it still fucking sucked and shouldnt have happened. Even if that changes later in life and you identify as a victim/surivor, it can be messy to have to imagine those labels applying to the ppl in ur life and that can take time.
The most important thing is to prioritize your recovery + health, and to support other victims + survivors.
#COCSA ment#CSA ment#This is like. V personal and venting (maybe over sharing)#It's. I'm going to be honest recent discussion really brought this back into my brain aaughhh. Not in a bad way necessarily#Just. I know I've had experiences that I think others might label this way and I struggle to really understand that#Beyond the gut feeling of ''it doesnt count'' there's the understand that I might be denying it bc of shame or even just. The fact I have#An internal definition of it that excludes myself. And that I don't want to imagine the other ppl as 'abusive' and I don't think they had#The intent to hurt me. And the fact in one situation I know none of us understood boundaries or consent bc we didn't#Actually talk with adults about what like. Sex and sexuality meant so all out fucking context was porn. And just idk#I have specific experiences but those Memorable Incidents were just part of a larger pattern of me learning Abt sex young#And then failing to get proper sex ed for years. And the internet. And the Fucking Internet#(fanfic is like. Anti sex ed. 70% just the fucking worst shit to internalize 30% ''hey this is actually Okay'')#Sex Ed... Like in school... Needs a fucking HEAVY overhaul but it's still better than nothing usually
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I met the me who made different choices
#idk what this means so dont ask#got the words stuck in my head and this is what I wanted to draw for it immediately#me at my desk. so.#I dont look exactly like this obviously. doesnt matter. anyways#hard time recently in a lot of different ways#lots of work to do!#given up on getting everything done I kind of failed at that. it was too much#so now I'm just trying to get anything done that will make the next 6 months not kill me again#ideally. 3 episodes. or the book#or like at least close enough to that that its basically that#I'm feeling really screwed LOL#I dont know how I've been working every day for so long and still havent done enough...#(its because the work load is way too much)#every time I take 1 hour for myself. to cook. or clean. or draw something else. or play a game. I feel so guilty auauau#I hate webtoon I hate this damn green app...#DOESNT MATTER!!!#what DOES matter is my art is good as hell... look at this shit...#the light. the colors. I love you red I love you green#I need to get more red pants I only have the one pair.#I saw this guy with red pants that had skeleton legs on them and I was like FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!! I need them!!!!#I need to start sewing again. I dont have a sewing machine cause my apartment is too small so I havent sewn in years but I really want to..#I want to make clothes again... I need some vests I need some dresses..#I will not make pants or sleeved shirts because I dont hate myself#sketch#art#vent art I guess LMFAO its not#its just this fun little thing we like to call self expression#also this isnt how my desk setup actually is I scooted things around cause I didnt wanna draw anything twice. fuck it we ball#ok back to work
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coloring experiments with some displeased españas 🍅 i always love digging beneath his optimism to find the negativity underneath thats Just as passionate -- its one of the most fascinating things about him to me
closeups under the cut
#hetalia world stars#hws spain#aph spain#i simultaneously Am him and need him carnally. and im not sure which ones more embarrassing#his anger and my anger are.... upsettingly similar and ive been very Angry with my job recently. so. ofc ive been thinking about him#country of passion in all emotions. and the sun isnt just warm and bright. it Burns.#anyway this is Kind of a little bit of a vent piece maybe idk#my art#'i need to rest my hand' i say and then i get so furious at work these all come out of my brain#i have never been so close to starting a physical fight with my coworkers lmaoooo.
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on loneliness jenny slate / japanese breakfast, posing for cars / corinne von lebusa, big glow / dadushin / alejandra pizarnik, tr. me / fka twings, home with you / avocado_ibuprofen / fiona apple, left alone / anne carson, “the anthropology of water”, plainwater / kiki smith, free fall / alejandra pizarnik, diaries
#hi my post#oooooohhh this is just a compilation of my own feelings lately#i know i have a red de apoyo i know i have my dearest friends but it's so hard to not feel alone when we're so far away#idk i just miss school and having someone to talk to everyday i'm not a text gal i need to hear your voice i need to see you i need someone#to caress my hair i need contact i need closeness i need to know somebody hears me#it's not all bad i do love my solitude but i just .... i just think in a room full of people nobody would choose me#lol i'm gonna stop now i just always use my tags as a venting space xd#also yes i had the audacity to translate alejandra pizarnik but i just couldn't find that bit already translated and i really wanted it her#web weaving#on loneliness#loneliness tag#being alone#jenny slate#japanese breakfast#posing for cars#corinne von lebusa#dadu shin#alejandra pizarnik#fka twigs#home with you#fiona apple#left alone#anne carson#plainwater#kiki smith#parallels#poetry#prose#words#lyrics
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one of those nights
#small vent#lately I’ve been questioning things a lot#and this overwhelming feeling of being lonely takes over#and I question myself and my feelings and thoughts on certain things#sometimes i end up thinking im a bad person#the guilt i feel because I don’t do ship art gets overwhelming sometimes#and i end up feeling like an asshole because of it#but I genuinely just can’t (at least not for the gf fandom)#family and platonic moments are just way too important to me#which might explain a small desire wanting to have that but unable to#maybe it’s the aroaceness in me idk#it just gets really lonely sometimes in your own corner#i’m sorry#I know things like this can be annoying but I needed to vent#some more light-hearted things hopefully soon#delete later
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crazy how the sanshee plush is one of the few actual direct confirmations on what a non-act 2 Natsuki’s home life is like because of how cagey she is on literally everything. Like this isn’t anything surprising or something you wouldn’t be able to extrapolate from the games but unlike everything else we know about her the implications are right there on the tin.
They literally did the character bio trope where where all the likes are normal but the dislikes are about their very specific trauma it’s just so funny they did that on the plushie card
#the thing is the rest of the bios are mostly normal it’s just this one with the yellong part why did they do that#idk if I’m stupid or forgot the yelling thing being shown directly in a non-act 2 context but I at least appreciate the confirmation#since I might just be mixing up fanon and canon considering 90% of what we know with Natsuki’s whole deal is interpolated from small tidbits#but like trying to understand anything about non act 2 Natsuki’s background is so funny because she doesn’t like to talk about anything#so all we know about her home life is by comparing her to act 2 and the secret poem plus psychoanalysing her thoughts and actions#is like the secret poem says Monika definitely made her dad worse but the problem is we don’t know how much#anyways and for all we know her dad could range from somewhat average dad to should be put on a watch list#and sometimes there’s dialogue like the one in self love about Natsuki worrying about her friends retaliation#and it’s probably meant to act as a confirmation to whether there’s physical abuse considering how out of left field the question is#but like it could be interpreted either way so it’s basically just Schrödinger’s physical abuse for no reason#I’m not criticizing or anything I think the characters being able to hold secrets is cool and ambiguity is awesome#and the choice to keep the ambiguous is intentional since the characters only share what their comfortable with#but I just need to vent about that one line in self love ok#like idk if I’m just stupid but there’s multiple interpretations but it’s seemingly both a decomfirmation and confirmation#idk it’s weird but her dad yelling at her enough to make it one of her dislikes is at least something in terms of actual evidence#damn it I put a paragraph in the tags again I’m sorry gang I’m not moving it#ddlc#doki doki literature club#tempestmothtalk
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I think everyone but Jimmy would believe in Aliens to an extent and have a weird story about something that happened while in space that they link back or like a UFO or alien.
Curly talks about blips on the radar that move to fast or irrationally to be regular space debris. Too uniform or too fluidly, they disappear too fast too. Anya talks about weird flickering and medbay or like odd flashes on the day screen that are too direct and specific to be simple glitches. Swansea talks about random mechanics on the ship giving out in odd ways, he’s been working for years and things don’t work like that, maybe even a gear or sprocket found after landing he swears is to foreign to be manmade but P.E always confiscates it. Daisuke always wanted to believe and takes the experiences of his very serious superiors, especially Swansea, as proof and wonders if the Tulpar is like a magnet for extraterrestrial happenings.
Jimmy thinks it’s stupid because why would aliens waste time doing all those little things and not just like abduct them? His ass obviously sees one and no one believes him cause they think they just being a jerk and messing with them, even Curly.
#Don’t know if this is just thoughts or something would come of this but uhhh#world where Aliens board the Tulpar because the mouthwash is like idk good fuel and they try to kill the crew to cover it up cause#even pe can like blame them and have to look to the stars if the shipment vanishes like mid haul out of no where#and I guess it is just like aliens au but the aliens love fucking listerine cool mint#they want to do a little probing to but they are mostly there for fresh breath and murder#they could just destroy the ship but where the fun maybe they aren’t that advanced or it’s not that groups job#curly is convinced everytime he has a crazy insomnia dream it was a sign of abduction and everyone has to tell him it’s not#but then Swansea says something’s def in the vents and he’s just there like see my sleeping habits are fine it’s the fucking xenomorphs#doing it to me and like even if that’s also true he needs like melantonin#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#jimmy mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#daisuke mouthwashing#swansea mouthwashing
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You know what? On the verge of sounding hypocritical, I’m so fucking tired of people acting like the politicization of Helene and Milton is a bipartisan issue. It’s not.
It was Predominantly Republican police forces that threatened to arrest civilians for rescuing one another.
It was Republican congress members that failed to adequately fund FEMA.
It’s Republican talking heads who are currently villainizing FEMA.
It’s Republican voters who are currently spreading conspiracy theories that Biden is controlling the weather.
This is not a general politics problem. This is not a moral problem. This is not an “ugh, people these days” problem. This is a Republican problem.
Lest we forget that the Biden & Harris administration has worked quickly, efficiently, and as effectively as they’re legally allowed to, every time a disaster hits a Red state. Meanwhile, Trump threatened to withhold FEMA funds from California when they were suffering devastating wildfires because he didn’t like their Democrat governor.
So let’s get it straight: This isn’t a case of American morals going down the toilet. This is yet another case of Republican weirdos being off their rockers and getting away with it by framing it like a bipartisan reaction.
Don’t even try to pretend it isn’t Republicans doing a vast majority of the dehumanization to these survivors. Doing so is not only completely incorrect, but a complete and total disservice to those who would greatly benefit from Republicans shutting the fuck up for once and being normal about a tragic situation.
#idk if this one is staying up I just felt a way and needed to vent#rant#politics#american politics#hurricane relief#hurricane milton#hurricane helene#carolina hurricanes#fema#natural disasters#hurricane
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Leo going through the horrors but the horrors are just that he had a shitt day and no one bothered to save him any cookies :/
#vent art#uhhh ig this needs warnings#harmful stims#sometimes ya gotta bite to regulate okay#im not saying its OKAY#im just#ugh#im too tired to bother ill delete it if someone doesn't like it#having a shitty time for no reason#sorry if its illegible biut also i dont really care rn#tw bad coping mechanisms#trolls is not the bad coping mechanism#its like the ONE good one#whet william#highly reccomend rtrolls#general tw#lemme know if it needs mopre#or if i need to delete it idk#my brai is mad fuzzy rn#somehow drawing it makes it seem even more stupid in hindsight#ah wel
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I realize that I'm very very late to this party, but I finally caught up with Bluey season 3........Brandy has skyrocketed to most relatable character by a country mile
#it's...actually quite uncanny#i mean i kinda knew it was coming because i've seen people talking about it#but it still hit hard#i...really appreciate that she's the older sister#although tbh i feel like chilli needs to lay off on the subtle judgement over brandy not being around#i feel like people who haven't been in this situation...even if they can sympathize with it intellectually...#i feel like they tend to underestimate just HOW painful and difficult it can be#being shamed for staying away is the LAST thing she needs here#anyways....#not sure how I feel about brandy being pregnant in The Sign#i guess it was intended to be hopeful but...........idk :/#my art#vent
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i see a lot of talk of fellow adhd and autistic folk feeling like they’re too much for other people but i don’t see a lot of talk about feeling like you’re not enough. low energy adhd and autism where it takes a lot of effort to use words so your way of showing affection is to sit there and vibe in people’s presence but it comes off like you’re not paying attention or it’s not “active” enough to count, or forgetting to reply to DMs (or like i said, Words Hard), and it again comes off as you not caring or ignoring people. it’s really hard to be putting in so much effort to maintain friendships you value only for that effort to not be seen, or to be read as apathy, or for it to be seen but still not be what other people want. even worse when you try and talk more and be more active in a relationship but you end up burning yourself out because you don’t have enough energy to maintain it.
#starscream.txt#i struggle a lot with feeling like i’m not Enough of a presence for people#i like to just. listen to people. but i’ve had several people stop talking to me because me just listening comes off as me not caring#or finding them annoying#which it isn’t#and it fucking sucks. idk#i understand RSD and the need for validation so i don’t begrudge anyone that#i just wish i could be met on my field sometimes. i wish my natural behaviors didn’t read like apathy#or annoyance#i wish people could see my ways of showing affection for what they are#vent i guess
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