#idk i dont particularly care personally
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Why is everyone so hung up on NoA's use of the word "inkling????" I've seen so many posts lately that are like "it doesn't make sense that the squid people are called inklings since octolings use ink too so it should be a general term and the squid people should be called squidlings!!!" and like. Yeah. That's true I guess. I dunno, I never really particularly cared about it that much, it's kind of a nitpick. And like—something about "squidling" as a word feels super weird and awkward to me and I don't entirely know why? I think it has something to do with the consonants? Or maybe it's my imagination, who knows. Either way I don't entirely get why people have been getting so hung up on it lately.
#splatoon#thanks NoA for that mistranslation#idk#i think in jp they're referred to as like#squid-inkling and/or octo-inkling#and 'octoling' in the english translation#came from a misunderstanding of the word 'takozoness'#which was meant to refer SPECIFICALLY to the RIVAL octolings#but NoA thought it was a more general term???#i dunno correct me if im wrong on this#its weird because ive only rlly seen ppl care about it recently???#its like the tartar stuff#but stranger since inkling and octoling have existed since the very beginning of the series#maybe people were having issues with it before i dunno#there's definitely been more since splatoon 3#so yeah#not saying its dumb to be upset about it because it IS true but#idk i dont particularly care personally
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do u guys think percy likes soccer
#do u think he's one of those fifas that are so fucking annoying about it all the time#or that he only cares about it when the World Cup comes#or literally never gives a shit about it#i personally dont think he's bad at it but neither hella good#i think he's regular at playing#fútbol#soccer#percy jackson#riordanverse headcanons#i actually think none of the argo would be particularly good at soccer like 😭#but idk i feel like piper would be surprisingly good#nico only enjoys watching#bc men in shorts#i think its canon Will is a jock so he would actually be great#and kinda likes it but he aint annoying about it#pjo#hoo#piper mclean#leo valdez#jason grace#nico di angelo#will solace#frank zhang#hazel levesque#edit: GOD I FORGOT PLAYING FÚTBOL IN SCHOOLS IS NOT AS COMMON IN USA AS IN LATAM#this post was my inner latina showing
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#i feel so isolated#i can talk to people#but it's hard for me to find someone i can genuinely connect with#hard for me to converse in interesting conversation with people i find interesting#i was in a group setting a while ago#talking w “friends” (not close friends; but still 'friends')#it was ok#the thing is#i don't particularly like my friends#like im not that invested. it's hard for me to find people i connect with enough to be invested in and vice versa#it's most likely a 'me' thing#i think its because of a lack of communication skills that its hard for me to find connection/make friends that i rlly like and etc#ironically the friends i do like are always extroverts and i always feel like i care more about them than they do#because they have sm friends whom they're close to and genuinely connected with meanwhile i struggle with even making 1 connection that#doesn't drain me/makes me happy/keeps me stimulated#so when i do find that 1 person i become attached and want to be closer to them#and when that happens idk i remind myself that they dont care for me as much#and i try not to be too clingy so as not to annoy them#i want to be closer to them though. we have our own friend groups but still#school for me is overall quite lonely. my 2 close friends are in another school#there's only a few people in class that i enjoy talking to#the only one (the 'main' one) that's my friend is the extrovert i mentioned a while ago#and for some reason im getting flashbacks or trauma from my past friendship#because as of now we're just classroom friends#and in my past friendship. i was also invested in that homegirl. but..we drifted apart T-T#its quite sad#i feel lonely#i want to be better at bond making and connections because#its miserable#vent
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Ok serious question. How do I tell if I actually am not attracted to anyone or if it's just some sort of emotional dysfunction due to like stress and whatever. Cause this is kind of freaking me out and idk my researching isn't helping overmuch
#ugghhhhuuh idk#idk!#idk what the problem is#i don't like feeling like this but i don't know if that's just like severe fomo or just feeling guilty for not being able to like people bac#or#just anxiety even or some other random reason#i just! tmi maybe but i just don't care about sex. i don't particularly want or like it but i wish that I did? so does that cancel out???#or am i just being emotional and spiralling over nothing#and I'm not attracted to people and i never really have been unless it was a personality thing#in any way at all that is#but maybe it's something else! i really dont know#go to bed silver
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i wish like. anyone here gave a real shit abt me at all
#why is the homophobic old man the most genuine classmate.#idk if i even broach any issues im dealing w personally w the others its. so awkward#usually. idk just watching how they treat each other vs me sometimes makes me🫠#to be clear i dont think theyre particularly nice to each other but. man.#its clear their ‘care’ for me is very shallow n not deep. on the few occasions that they do do nice things
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sometimes I wish I was a more interesting + charismatic person just so I could keep conversations going bc I like sharing space with other ppl but they routinely lose all interest and leave once I run out of things to say/start talking abt things that don't concern them :-(
#and boy do I run out of things to say so fast when I'm talking to friends who ik dont give a fuck abt any of my interests...#theres only so much i can make small talk or ask them questions abt their own interests/lives yknow. man#it just makes me feel like im constantly competing with smth else for other ppls attention all the time + constantly losing#eg. when i say smth + my flatmate reaches for her headphones a little dark souls banner appears across my vision like INTERACTION FAILED#and i can feel my rsd + insecurities praying on it like the more i feel this way the more it prophetically fulfils itself#by making me less willing to try and take up space so i become a smaller and smaller person around others#it frustrates me a lot sometimes and i dont rly have the will rn to undo that and force myself to take up more space regardless#ik this sounds like a water is wet complaint like oh nooo woe is me people get bored of me when i talk abt boring things (!!)#but when im spending time w ppl i like i enjoy listening to them talk even if im not interested in the subject bc its Them talking#and if they care abt smth then its worth hearing abt!! to me anyway. but it rly feels like no one reciprocates that idk#oh well not that it matters. at least i like the shit im into so i can talk to myself abt it in my head or on this site lmao#and i like myself as a person even if other people dont so theres always that. ur no 1 should always be urself <3#voicing this makes me feel so stupid + embarrassed urgh. i hate being anxious abt dumb shit i hate being the sort of person who worries#that their friends privately dislike/just tolerate them or whatever bc id never want a friend to worry abt whether i thought that abt them#and im not naturally a very insecure person!! i think im just feeling particularly vulnerable atm bc of the season + jobhunting so long#+ the fact im dissatisfied with my current social life + still feel very wobbly from not having other ppl i can trust or rely on etcetcetc#and thats just bleeding into other areas. and it sucks a lot. but theres nothing to be done abt it rn bc im not going to communicate it#to other ppl bc im not pathetic enough to make my anxieties someone elses problem + beg for pity attention im too proud for that 👍#anyway. gonna play some noita + then i rly need to work out today bc thats probs part of why im feeling so shite#if ur reading this ignore me im just venting itll pass. i hope youre having a nice day :^)#.vent#.diaries
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i need to draw o/ff characters again and post hcs abt them to my blog. oogoog
#i dont particularly like the popular hc that en/och eats his els/en. it feels weird to me for multiple reasons#KEEP IN MIND THIS IS ALL PERSONAL THINKINGS OK ok here i go#ik i said id post em on the blog but im abt to go to sleep so imma say it here#but like. mahybe im just crazy or looking too deep into things. but i dont see any reason for en/och = eats his els/en besides the fact#that hes fat. and like thats it from what i can rememebr.#like id ont. remember him saying any dialogue that would insinuate it??#OK hold on clarifying = eats them alive/eats their bodies and NOT just eating burnt ashes/sugar#OR it could also be something that like was thought of bc of the horror element of the game +#the zone is a zone that is like Heeyyyy everyone eats everyone here :) so obvs it could just be like a horror hc to go with the theme#or environment of the zone#so like obvs im not gonna like. be upset over ppl liking the hc like to most people it seems just canon to them#but i do not like it....not one bit. he WOULD gaslight and manipulate his workers. absoltuely. but he would NOT eat them alive.#i feel like en/och is too much of like...he has high standards for his foods (chef it up. he can make the fanciest of meals and the nicest#of cakes). so i feel like he'd be like. insulted like ummmmmm no lol that is NOT very presentable. and gross. put their ashes in it and#dress it up and maybe ill eats it then :] yk????#IDK. maybe im just thinking waayyyy too much into this. but i kinda dont care i love this game and i love en/och.#i dont need to fix him hes perfect as he is (manipulative and a cannibal but not like that way. ok?)#cant you let her win for once ?????#ok ok im done for now but for this game? my dear friends. i am ALWAYS open to talking about my thoughts#ow.file
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i get so annoyed whenever i see "donation posts" for the person who designed the lesbian flag cause its always other people complaining specifically about the bourgeois injustice that they arent compensated for profit made elsewhere using their design. their design being the one that caught on doesnt make them any less deserving of poverty. but for that specific "achievement" youll get tumblr users with a parasocial relation to you repeatedly promoting your call for funds as a means to express bourgeois rage in a politically acceptable manner.
#i put dontation posts in quotation marks#sometimes itll be a screenshot of an actual donation post by that person#with a bunch of commentary and a link at the bottom sometimes its just commentary and a link#idk if ive seen one without any links yet#i assume theyre just on twitter and not on here#and honestly i dont really care how you word your own donation posts#i dont think they share that bourgeois outrage#but i wouldnt put it against them personally for mentioning factors in your call for funds#that might lead to outrage for reasons that arent shared with the person asking for money#like mention of mental illness or addiction or other stigmatized forms of existence#this is just me being annoyed at the wording of other people#who use all of this as a means to express outrage at a particularly bourgeois injustice#which is why i put donation post in quotation marks
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One scary notion is that I could just start believing my intrusive thoughts anytime :|
#i want to say i dont care about this but..i do..#also my intrusive thoughts are particularly stupid and nonsensical so thats the scary part. i would be worrying if it were idk#-im gonna go outside and a car will run over me- lol#personal#i wouldnt*
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the mixture of "body has always hurt and heart has always been a little too fast with exercise" and "quarantine which meant i didnt go anywhere or do anything" and "my friends are all in college so i dont have anyone to hang out with and i Hate being Outside Alone" and "mentally illness" and "its been a really hot summer and the heat makes me feel like im gonna keel over and die on the sidewalk" has really ravaged my body. but they dont know. i dont know how to start slow about it like the people say
#yes. i could go for a walk. the safest place to walk near me is a giant hill that everyone who's walked it with me says it sucks#the ground is uneven and steep which means my effed up calves get sooooo upset so much faster#also errmmm. cant wear my binder because ill Die but cant Not wear my binder bc im out in public and ill Die#and everytime i go “ok ill just walk a really little bit” i end up walking way more then a little bit#do not let the guy with a power-thru-the-pain-as-punishment mindset go for a walk he will push himself too much and then#badda bing badda boom. 3 days of terrible pain and exhaustion#they dont know ive never been athletic and its always hurt so getting thru gym did create such a mindset about it#but i cant say the pain is particularly motivating#in fact id say it does the opposite#WHATEVRR!!!!!!!!#when it stops being 90 degrees (ALMOST IN OCTOBER BTW) itll all be fine at least then i wont pass out#i just need 70 degrees#i need 70 degrees so bad#anyways. idk maybe itll get better when i get a car and i can drive to a park or something#ive grown up being told this area isnt safe + had some Very vivid nightmares sooo. as u can imagine#definitely dont have it in me to take full care of a dog and i would get No Help with it + we have a cat + we live in a small space#but imagine if i had a dog to walk. thatd probably be awesome#i wouldnt be alone#the only person im around is my dad dawg and he cant walk very much either
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I forget that I have every mental illness until I’m having another week long spiral over a offhand comment made by a friend months ago that if you take and interpret in the most bad faith way imaginable it means uh oh this person isn’t who you thought they were ahahaha you idiot you obsessive freak you’ve been so attached to this person and it turns out they’re a monster actually and you’re so lonely and desperate that you forced yourself to be okay with them this is proof you’re incapable of feeling anything for anyone and that you’re right to believe everyone is evil and stupid. Die
#ughhhhhhh and the worst part with this specific kind is like how would i even get reassurance if i needed it#like its like ‘hey dearest friend i bet you dont remember but you made a joke 4 months ago that ive obsessed over and basically ive decided#that youre irredeemably evil so please explain to me why you arent’#and in general i have a bad habit of acting like a parent towards others and like i know everything and have to teach them how to behave#cuz yippee unhealthy family dynamics mess everything up#so I have to restrain myself from doing that with friends cuz not only is it exhausting its also like#is really condescending and assumes they cant take care of themselves and make their own choices or have their own opinions#but then i try so hard to avoid being that guy that if i let minor things slide i panic over it#like really stupid shit like someone could sarcastically say they idk push old ladies down the stairs for fun#but they dont make it super obvious with their voice that theyre being sarcastic#and then i panic cuz what if they genuinely think its okay to push old ladies down the stairs and i said nothing?#i thought they were a nice person but theyre gonna betray me just like everyone does and im stupid for trusting them#ughhhh i hate this i hate it so much i dont know why i do this so bad i try every technique to calm down#i gotta be okay with no one being perfect and not every moment of confusion getting closure#but god im so tired of turning on people like this its like i feel so fake i love you so much its obsessive#but then you say one thing that i dont particularly like and uh oh i hate your guts actually!#and yeah what triggered this specific spiral is actually so stupid lol but it reminded me why i keep everything secret all the time
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Hey! Idk if anyone has asked this before, but can you write skz with big chested!fem reader? I absolutely love your work!!
ok so i have a request in the works including big tiddy gf with Han so you can read that for a fic blatantly including it lol (it should be out in a few days) but for now I'll write you little drabble about them :3 this is super self indulgent so thank you 😼& i'm happy you enjoy my stuff :') <3
OT8 x Big Chested fem!Reader
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ word count: ~700
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ warnings: fem!reader with big boobies: no other body type is described, suggestive but also like 1 mention of nsfw
DO NOT republish or translate+post my work!
Certified Titty Sucker(s)™
the ones you can shut up by literally flashing him. but its only gonna make him drop to his knees in front of you so he can beg you to let him touch ("Let me at 'em" -Han)
the picture i had in mind was one of them (hyunjin specifically lol) just like laying on top of you with a nipple in his mouth and his other hand grabbing as much of the other boob as he can. maybe he's just come home after a long day and needs the comfort of his titties in his mouth. or maybe he's still inside of you, cockwarming after you both came, and he's calming himself down by mindlessly sucking one of your nipples
Hyunjin & Han (honorable mentions: Chris and Lix)
Biggest Babies
probably the kind to casually lay on them like theyre pillows the most out of all the boys. i could see him coming home from having a bad day and asking you to cuddle with him, so he lays you flat on your back and rests his cheek against your boobs as he looks up at you and rants about his day.
The ones who will literally pout and get teary-eyed if you ban them from your boobs for any amount of time. Maybe they marked you up when you told them not to or they just did something to make you mad so you put them in "Boob Time Out." The one's the most hurt about it and will cry and beg and grovel for you to take it back.
Hyunjin, Seungmin, Han, Changbin
Handsy Ones
would be the type to casually grope you randomly throughout the day. i specifically picture these guys as being the type of boyfriend who will sit on the bed while you get changed nearby, and the second your shirt and/or bra is off he just drags you close to him and shoves his face between your boobs. not like sexually per se but its so warm and he finds so much comfort in squishing his face between them. makes you literally fight to get him off you could try to put the new shirt on over his head to make him get off and he probably wouldnt budge 😭 he just sits there even more comfortable because now he's covered like a blanket LMFAO
Seungmin, Felix, Jeongin (honorable mention: Minho)
"No Shame"
the type who, if he's angry or jealous enough, will grope you in broad daylight. he wont do it for everybody's eyes but will specifically make sure the person that offended him can see it but nobody else can.
also very blatantly gropes you in front of the other members. for some (cough Jeongin cough) its an ego thing, but for the others its just the confidence that they feel because they know they're allowed and they just do not care that the others are 2 feet away
Han & Jeongin, Minho
Casual Enjoyers
these guys love your boobs to death (maybe not as much as Han) but they love them rather quietly. they dont outright tell you how much they love them and, if you aren't paying close enough attention, their love for them will go unnoticed
the ones who consciously care the most about your boobs' health. im not saying the others dont, but these guys will show their love for them by caring about their health specifically. they make sure you get the highest quality bras and does research for + buys you any oils that will give him an excuse are good for massages so on particularly achy days, you don't have to worry much about it.
also very easy to notice how much they love them when they drool and stare holes into them when you wear revealing clothes
Chris, Minho, Lix
#sian’s writing#stray kids smut#stray kids drabbles#stray kids x reader#stray kids headcanons#skz smut#skz drabbles#skz x reader#skz headcanons#bang chan x reader#bang chan smut#chan x reader#chan smut#lee know smut#lee know x reader#changbin smut#changbin x reader#hyunjin smut#hyunjin x reader#han jisung smut#han jisung x reader#lee felix smut#lee felix x reader#seungmin x reader#seungmin smut#yang jeongin x reader#yang jeongin smut#jeongin x reader#jeongin smut
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"I circled half the globe searching for him, but he was gone."
Starscream ;_;
RIGHT?? IT'S SO SAD .
and i have sooo many thoughts about this whole situation with skyfire/starscream that's been presented to me, if you dont mind anon im gonna use your ask to ramble a little
(disclaimer im sure nothing i have to say here is particularly new & has been said by those who've been deep into TF longer than myself but i need to get this out my system anyways. and also im still watching through g1 so if im horribly mistaken about anything #oops)
unless i missed something, i don't think it's specified in "fire in the sky" how long starscream looked for skyfire?? but just thinking about that line.... he obviously didn't immediately go back to cybertron, he didn't just give up on skyfire. starscream cared about skyfire enough to look for him, only leaving after (i assume) he realized he didn't have the resources to conduct a proper search for his companion. and i mean can you imagine being starscream in that situation???? your partner just disappears into a storm, and no matter how far and long you look you're unable to find them????????
i get starscream, man. i'd also become awful if that happened to me.
and here's the thing: i stumbled upon this post which posits that the decepticons happening to stumble across skyfire in the ice was no incident, but starscream's own doing, and i LOVE this theory/headcanon so much. when i first watched the episode yesterday i was thinking that it was funny they just happen to be mining right where skyfire was frozen so it's nice to see my suspicions affirmed LMAO
i honestly love that episode so much because as i learn more about starscream and transformers as a whole i think little tidbits like that offer a deeper look into who he is (or was, idk) beyond just megatron's second-in-command. he was a scientist, an explorer, a friend. "was" isn't even the proper word here, because he still is all of those things, he just...... applies them differently, i suppose. which is the real tragedy in who he is as a character.
beyond starscream and his search for skyfire, you wanna know what i've REALLY been thinking about a lot with these two? when skyfire becomes a decepticon (for like a day lol but still), starscream immediately declares that when he overthrows megatron, skyfire will become his second-in-command. not any of the other seekers, not either of the waves, not literally anyone else who's been a decepticon for more than an hour, but skyfire. his long-lost science partner. on starscream's end, virtually nothing about his relationship with skyfire has changed. he still trusts him as much as he did millions of years ago, to the point he'd be willing to have him at his side as leader of the decepticons.
but on skyfire's end... the starscream in front of him is different from the one he knew. war and being a decepticon changed starscream for the worst, something that unveils itself very quickly to skyfire. one of the first things he asks starscream after becoming a decepticon is if starscream is genuinely happy about being a decepticon warrior over the scientist he used to be. skyfire can't believe that the person standing in front of him could be the starscream he once knew before being frozen. still, it's starscream, so skyfire ends up going along with things up until he can't ignore his morals and deny that he's on the wrong side anymore.
that is where the second tragedy happens for starscream: betrayl, by the man he'd waited to get back for so long. he finally got skyfire back, only to lose him all over again.
if skyfire had never crashed that day -- if they'd never gone closer to explore the earth in the first place -- would starscream had gone down such a dark path? would he have taken countless lives, and become the ruthless decepticon he is now? does it eat at skyfire, knowing that in his absence starscream lost who he once was? or perhaps he'd still be the same starscream, but skyfire would be at his side serving the decepticon cause. maybe they both would've been so drastically changed by the years of cybertron's war together.
skyfire is a living, formerly frozen relic of the past before everything went wrong. starscream has aged far beyond that, to the point of no return. as much as they surely both want it, and regardless of what happens to them, their bond can never go back to what it once was.
god i just. i need more!!! i need to watch more transformers and read more of the comics and see more of these two!! i watched tfp + some of the live action movies as a kid but this is my first time learning about skyfire and this thing he's got going on with starscream and it's fascinating to me i can't believe i didn't know about this before!!!!! but it's also so fucked up oh my god!!!!!
ok yeah ive gotten the brainworms out my system. idk how to end this here's screenshots i took that i found funny
#i hope skybound explores this wild thing going on btwn them in a later issue as well#considering the flashback we got + how both skyfire/jetfire and star are alive but just in uhhhhh questionable conditions... hmm#like both of them have had their autonomy stripped in some way & cant transform now#maybe it's a coincidence. but maybe It's Not#i just think it could lead to an interesting conversation#theres also the ongoing thing skybound has abt how the war rly changed the TFs & considering issue 13 i want to see sky/jetfire directly#confront that with starscream. i want to see more of the emotions he feels about star's drastic change from ulchtar#right after skyfire left everything went to shit. genvo was murdered and ulchtar died to make way for starscream#i rly do wonder if he wonders what would've happened if he stayed a few more days just like ulchtar suggested. if things would be different#man.......................#ask#starscream#skyfire#skystar
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HIIII I just saw your post about your event and thought I'll be silly and request smthing ^_^ ok sooo first time meeting ness ! 😯 (one shot or hc whichever you feel more comfy writing! <3) have a great dayyy (^3^) ♪
ACADEMICALLY SMART BUT EXTREMELY STUPID alexis ness
aka. how u meet ness aka academic rivals to lovers but ness dont gaf bc hes just trying to #play #ball
you meet him at quite a young age and share a few things in common
ill fitting school uniforms and the wandering eyes of any child
while you find yourself fascinated by the numbers written on your teacher's chalkboard, ness is folding dinosaurs and stars on pieces of scrap paper, mumbling to himself
you didn't mind him and he didn't mind you
you guys were classmates and that was that
but then middle school came around and you started acting like you had a stick up your ass 24/7 as long as ness was around
like wtf that mf almost never studies why is he at the top of your class...
suddenly you get distracted in classes because you're focused on drawing mini ness figures with fat x's covering his face and devil horns
ness sees this one day after your notebook fell to the ground and at first is like omg!!! cute drawing of me as a fantasy creature but then he was like wait what the fuck why do they have it out for me????
he barely thought about you until then but apparently you've developed a passionate hatred for him just because he scores higher grades
he still has no clue
you are FUMING
so you start studying even more if that's even possible
while you go to your schools library to bust your ass in the textbooks ness goes outside with a ball he managed to shove into his bag and starts kicking it around
ness: :D ball!!!! no school!!! ball :D
you: KILL YOURSELF KILL YOURSELF KILL YOURSELF KILL YOURSELF
after one particularly hard test that you flopped (it was like an 80% be serious) you caved in and asked ness with help studying
he looked at the material and was like man idk it just makes sense
little boy thought you were going to punt him into hell like he does with his football
him, terrified out of his mind and just wanting to go to his football club meeting, sits down and looks at the material
you show him your notes and he quickly explains it but is running late on time
he gives you his number and says hes going to text you help
you went home that day like ???? that dude lied to me he isnt sending me shit ??? before it clicked
he does not text you because he does not have your number... he gave you his number...
so you swallow your pride and shoot him a message, begging for help a second time in the same day and on his end, he laughs at you a little but offers to call
you guys work on the subject for a good couple hours and before you hang up, you offer to study together for future exams because he's admittedly a good teacher
ness is trying to find a way to say "no thanks i don't care about school good luck tho XD ROFL LOLLLLL" but then he realizes that it's going to make his parents trust him a little more
he accepts and you guys go to the library together once a week
he finds that you're actually kind of funny and cool and not just a human bomb that's plotting his death
he tries to be slick about offering to meet more often
"oh... this unit is a lot more difficult than the last one.... you wanna heh.... come back tomorrow? *gulp*"
"ok"
"WOOOO"
one day ness told you he was going to try out for bastard munchen and you somewhat knew of them because of ness going on tangents about football
you supported him on it, not realizing it would cut down your weekly meetings
suddenly there was an alexis-shaped-hole in your chest but you didn't want to admit it to him
and for alexis, there was a you-shaped-hole in his chest that he tried to fill by training with kaiser and the rest of bastard munchen
yes, the team was filled with dicks, but none of them had the same foul personality you had!!
texts dvery day checking up on each other but it was nothing like hanging out in person
calls were better but still not the same
as soon as he heard about his first off day, he called you and asked to hang out
you tried to be nonchalant about it but who were you kidding both of you guys wanted to see each other again
although the directions of life the two of you were headed towards were almost polar opposites, being reunited at a stupid library table for the first time in months was all that mattered
#blue lock x reader#blue lock#bllk x reader#bllk fluff#bllk#blue lock ness#alexis ness x reader#ness x reader#alexis ness#ness#ness blue lock
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Just a Teenage Dirtbag, Like You
aahh this took me a while ToT, not proofread idk
content: smoking, i dont listen to weezer im sorry, don't bother with the timelines tbh i gave up
Teenage!König who used to go hang out at abandoned places, ranging from hospitals, schools, malls, to even churches. He doesn't necessarily do anything there, just chills around in his own bubble.
Though sometimes he comes across groups of teenagers, some his age, some older and younger. Doesn't really matter though, they don't mind, and he certainly doesn't so it doesn't cause them any trouble.
Doesn't really do anything people his age would consider fun there..no booze, no cigarettes, he simply just sits at a corner, avoids the growing black mold on the damp wall and thinks. God, the amount of people he unintentionally spooked by pulling this can barely be counted on his fingers.
Most of the time, he moves from one abandoned place to another, not much different from a criminal that was on the run. Though this particular spot at an abandoned store was perfect for him, pretty hidden, not much people around, it was like it was meant to be. So König does the closest thing he could to mark his territory there, set up a shabby corner for himself there. Sure it may look like a homeless person is staying there but you gotta do what you gotta do.
It's always just been König and himself, well for the first few months at least. The first time he heard it was basically a month ago, some swishing and rustling here and there but it could've easily been nature's work. Who knows what the birds and the bees were up to?
Over the days though, König was more than sure someone else was there with him, the fact that he could clearly hear whispers and bustling made him positive about it. Not that it was a bad thing, he could really care less if a whole family moved into this place, he could just be that guy staying (not so) secretly in their attic or basement..Plus it's not like he's the righteous owner, so it doesn't matter.
It's like having a roommate you don't know about. (And they were roommates?!?)
So that's how it went for months on end, acknowledging each other's presence (Well that's what König thinks at least, he's not sure if you're aware of him being here with you.) yet never interacting.
And König's completely fine with that, not the littlest bit disturbed about it. The two of you meeting is bound to be inevitable but he'll let time do it's magic and wait, König is used to waiting after all. Waiting to get picked during group projects, only to be chosen last since didn't really have a choice. Waiting for his turn because he was constantly the last in line. Waiting and waiting and waiting, he's used to it. So it's fine with him.
The presence of the mystery person you're here with is incredibly noticeable, not that you've seen them directly. But you could imagine that the way they carried themselves would be this strong & dominant figure, it's best not to mess with whoever they are. It's like they're purposely making their presence known by the way they stomp around the place. (Little did you know it was just König walking:c he didn't mean to be so loud) You're simply just here for some peace and quiet, not to cause trouble.
Getting away from society's norms were exceptionally hard as little miss perfect, more difficult than any exams you've went through. So you found solitude in this forsaken space, the freedom you have here is beyond what you can taste in the outside world. And you're grateful for it.
It's really not much if you're being honest, a picnic mat laid down on the dusty concrete floor with some fairy lights stringed around that occasionally flickered when the battery was running low.
You didn't want to do this, but not all wants are met aren't they?
Today was a particularly bad one, everyone succeeding in getting under your skin like it was a challenge everyone agreed on. Heated stomps were placed on the cracked surface beneath you, unable to contain your temper any longer, you throw your school bag against the ground on your slightly secluded spot and let out a huff. Sitting down, you pull out a pack of cigarettes from your pocket, not so little miss perfect now huh?
Blowing out a puffy cloud of smoke, you sighed in relief. Heaven knows how much you needed that pick me up. Unbeknownst to you, the smoke was spreading out that even König who's practically at the other side of the building, could smell it.
König wasn't too bothered with the smoke's odor, having grown up in a raggedy-ass neighborhood, at the end of the day cigarette smoke was unavoidable. Though this day wasn't the best for König, as he had yet another awkward social interaction to add to the list. He simply went here to clear his head but if it's filled with a bunch of cloudy smoke, he's certainly bothered by it.
Unsurely, he believes that the scent could be coming from outside, not from you. But it doesn't hurt to tell you about how it bothers him right? Plus, he thinks that he should introduce himself now as you two have basically been roommates for months now. So he'll do it, he'll be the bigger person and communicate.
Standing up reluctantly, König went over to what he believed was your spot in this forgotten place. To his surprise, he sees you. Well, the actual you, not the figure of you he made up in his brain. You were the polar opposite of what he thought you'd be like, expecting to see a troublesome teenager living the life of a teenage dirtbag, not a teenage girl who looks like she's the top of her class. But you were smoking a cig right now, not..what he'd exactly expect coming from a person looking like you. He doesn't judge though..most of the time so he approaches you nonetheless.
"Um..excuse me?" He calls out, hoping to get your attention as quick as possible to avoid embarrassingly repeating his words again. Luckily for him you're in no need for hearing aids just yet, instantly turning over once you heard his voice. "Yeah?" You ask, bobbing your head to the side while you blow out a cloud of smoke, lightly tapping your cigarette.
"Sorry to bother but do you think you could smoke outside?" He asks, watching you intently when you toss the cigarette aside. "Oh? No it's totally fine, I'll stop. I just needed a little shot in the arm, that was enough." You answer, scratching the back of your neck. This was..awkward to say the least. This was your first ever conversation despite technically knowing each other for months now.
König's eyes ineptly darted around the place as he mentally decided if he should try to take this conversation further or just scurry away, but oh! Look at that, a Weezer poster plastered on the wall! The perfect conversation starter!
"You like Weezer?" He asks, making himself comfortable as he sits right beside you. König notices the way your eyes spark up like fireworks on New Year's day. "I do! I'm like their #1 fan, ya like Weezer too?" You were gladly met with him nodding his head, happily pulling out your CD player so you two can jam along to their songs.
Chucking in a random CD from your..let's say extensive collection, "No One Else" starts playing. You soon learn that his name was König likewise, he learned about your name too. He learned more than that actually, the things you liked and didn't, your pet peeves, and the fact that maybe love at first sight was real.
Oh God König felt like an absolute idiot, why did falling for you feel like tumbling down a flight of stairs? König never really bothered with 'crushes' and all that, his confidence lowered down from all the bullying he receives daily.
Now though, perhaps he has a chance, he hopes. Maybe he should give love a try again.
Things between the two of you seem to progress into something better, something more than just two best friends. König couldn't believe it, how could his heart let his guard down and actually let you in? The so-called infatuation should only last about 2 weeks max, not months! He wants to individually torture each and every butterfly in his stomach to get rid of this unfamiliar feeling, love.
There's no doubt about it anymore, it really was that hideous thing called love. And König did not like it one bit, he had always felt like he doesn't deserve anything close to love. Don't even get me started on commitment, actually confessing to you? He'd rather crawl into a cave and never leave than do that! Commitment is a big thing to ask from König, it's just something so foreign to him, the only thing he's committed to in his life was his education and future career.
The future in question may be approaching soon, a little too soon. When König found out that you could already volunteer at the military this time of year, he was torn apart on what to do. This could've been the future career he had always thought about as a kid, already imagining himself as a recon sniper. Then there was you who randomly came into his life and instantly stuck to him like super glue, he was doomed.
He needs to choose, like..now if possible.
It's been weeks since you've heard from König, the band posters on the walls of his spot replaced with imaginary missing posters with his face plastered on it. All of his things in his spot was wiped clean, well as clean as the abandoned building could get but you know what I mean. He wasn't responding to your calls and texts either, you were so close to calling the authorities because he could've been left in a garage freezer by some serial killer! There was little you could do besides wait, wait like a clingy puppy by the doorstep.
When König had gone, you went to the abandoned place less often, internally hoping that the things you left there weren't raided or stolen. But you had another particularly rough day, wanting to reminisce and clear your mind, you make your way back.
Unexpectedly, you find a crumpled up note on your spot. Last time you checked, nothing like it was there. You hesitantly grabbed it, debating if you should open and see. But curiosity takes over you as you open it, it was a lengthy letter, obviously from König based off the rusty penmanship.
It was a random string of words about König signing up for the military, all of the words flying out and through your head to protect the state of your already fragile heart. The words "Goodbye, I love you." go in your line of sight.
He just left for the military, left this note and nothing else, he abandoned you like a shipwreck, abandoned you like the place you two first met.
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A/N: guys idk how to make thos links someone teach me plsssss and i hope u like this, i decided to post 2 shorter parts instead of 1 long one, felt nicer. next part is gonna be set some years later and itll be maaaybe a tad bit happier. dont hesitate to say anything, good or bad, mwah
wc: 965
She left earlier, of course.
The day after, to be precise. It was a slow and quiet morning. She felt at peace and torn apart at the same time. Can you feel that way? Maybe like someone that felt content with the way they lived their life, though now being stuck in a tornado.
Tom´s wife was sitting on the breakfast table with one leg propped up on the chair, wearing one of his jumpers and a teacup in her hand, smiling to herself and only having kissed him good morning and asked if he wanted tea. It angered him. Of course it did, she was always and every day the biggest chatterbox in the morning, excited about the day. He sometimes joked that it annoyed him. He hoped she realized the joke. He lived off her feeding him her presence. And who smiles like that, does he have a stain on his tie? Did she pack him heart shaped-sandwiches? I mean what else could´ve-
“Why aren´t you getting dressed? We`ve got to leave in-“
He checks his watch.
“exactly 13 minutes. I love you, but I know you wouldn´t make it.
She looks up from her tea, smiling again. He could sense it wasn´t the adorable type, it made his stomach turn. Something was wrong.
Well of course something was wrong Riddle, you´re ignoring the fact that you weren´t able to breath after the argument last night and that, you incontrollable child threw up all over the fucking bathroom you-
“Oh Minerva took the 2nd years to Hogsmeade for the morning, got 3 free periods.”
Liar. Liar. Liar. Liar. You never lie to me, you´ve never lied to me- What did I do, please, I´m begging you to go back day before yesterday with me I can´t fucking stand this
Of course he knew what he did, though did it deserve such a reaction? From both of them?
She stands up, gets very close to him and musters a real smile, one that made her eyes really small and showed her gums. It took all of her willpower left to do so. For him, It made his before mentioned train of thought stop.
Okay, of course it´s still her. It´s his wife.
She straightens his wobbly tie, there was no need to do so on other mornings. Another look in his eyes, knowing she´s the probably the only person that will see the truth in them. The fear. The other wobbly thing in the room were his legs when she kissed him, deeply, not hungry, but lovingly and meaningfully.
“Be nice. They´ll love you”
“Pfft, absolutely, don´t they always?”, he didn´t want to make a joke in such a moment but I guess he felt human, wanting to lift the atmosphere.
In the years after, they´d both remember this moment countless of times, she grinning like a child that remembered their last cool birthday party and he as in the objectively worst choice of words he ever made.
It was time, she felt it in the air. She'd die otherwise. Her to-do-list was now fairly simple, though the circumstances added some points.
pack Cry Put music on to distract Sob Pack Unpack Sob Look forward to life Pack Leave her faveorite blanket. He secretly thinks it´s fluffy. He gets cold easily. cry Cry happy tears because how fortunate is she to have spent 3 years with such a magnificent person. Pack Write note Cry but just a tad Breathe. Make tea. Put a lid on his cup so it stays hot. Breathe Smile Leave
Tom came home early. Who fucking cares about the pre-OWLs, he knows there´s the quidditch finale tonight and no one will concentrate. 1st day after Christmas break, whose idea was that.
Was she still in the school? He didn´t see her, though he didn´t particularly go look for her, he knows when to back off. She sometimes “regenerated” in her own space.
He got comfortable in his house and went into the ki- Did he forget his tea this morning? Seems unusual.
a note.
No.
In a pace an Olympic fast-walker would be jealous of, he makes his way to the library and sits down in the old, brown leather chair. His eyeballs hurt from his palms pressing into them, a strategy from the orphanage when he was first mocked for crying, it prevented the tears wonderfully. Tom sat like that for a few minutes, his left leg bouncing up and down and increasing in speed.
No.
Abruptly Tom stands up and walks over to the bookshelf with her little detective novels and big encyclopedias on algae and what not. His shaking hand pulls one out, the title doesn´t matter. He stares at it. He smells it. It doesn´t smell like her, at all. Why would it? It´s just a book. Was she real?
From his mouth comes not a growl, not a scream, what is it? He simply knows he hasn´t made that noise in a very long time and it almost accurately described his emotions. Almost. Nothing ever really will, he believes, though he´ll find a word for word description of his thoughts many years later. The book is now in about 14 pieces, torn apart, unreadable. Something wet runs over his hot cheeks. The knee-part of his grey slacks is ruined by the wet grass. He thought he´d suffocate inside.
Dearest Tommy,
I think I said everything I meant last night, though my devotion to you is hard to word.
You are the most precious, wonderful thing that has happened to me.
I want you to accept yourself.
To see yourself as I do.
You´re too much of a gift to existence and love in general to reduce yourself to a cause.
I love you, my Darling.
There were a few more words in between, but the tear stains made them unreadable. He´d get to reading it at some point. Maybe.
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