#badda bing badda boom. 3 days of terrible pain and exhaustion | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

jackalhadrurusluvr · 2 months ago

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the mixture of "body has always hurt and heart has always been a little too fast with exercise" and "quarantine which meant i didnt go anywhere or do anything" and "my friends are all in college so i dont have anyone to hang out with and i Hate being Outside Alone" and "mentally illness" and "its been a really hot summer and the heat makes me feel like im gonna keel over and die on the sidewalk" has really ravaged my body. but they dont know. i dont know how to start slow about it like the people say

#yes. i could go for a walk. the safest place to walk near me is a giant hill that everyone who's walked it with me says it sucks #the ground is uneven and steep which means my effed up calves get sooooo upset so much faster #also errmmm. cant wear my binder because ill Die but cant Not wear my binder bc im out in public and ill Die #and everytime i go “ok ill just walk a really little bit” i end up walking way more then a little bit #do not let the guy with a power-thru-the-pain-as-punishment mindset go for a walk he will push himself too much and then #badda bing badda boom. 3 days of terrible pain and exhaustion #they dont know ive never been athletic and its always hurt so getting thru gym did create such a mindset about it #but i cant say the pain is particularly motivating #in fact id say it does the opposite #WHATEVRR!!!!!!!!#when it stops being 90 degrees (ALMOST IN OCTOBER BTW) itll all be fine at least then i wont pass out #i just need 70 degrees #i need 70 degrees so bad #anyways. idk maybe itll get better when i get a car and i can drive to a park or something #ive grown up being told this area isnt safe + had some Very vivid nightmares sooo. as u can imagine #definitely dont have it in me to take full care of a dog and i would get No Help with it + we have a cat + we live in a small space #but imagine if i had a dog to walk. thatd probably be awesome #i wouldnt be alone #the only person im around is my dad dawg and he cant walk very much either

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