#this post was my inner latina showing

[wildwheatfields]

This is VERY MESSY but this is my reference for my headcanons n what I like from the dolls n show

More in depth down below cuz my handwriting is icky anyway

Clawdeen Wolf -

Her werewolf attributes are the nose, teeth, ears, claws and fur. Even her “hair” up top is fur. The fur placement is very much my own headcanon of fur following body hair placement so she’s got the furry arms, legs, chest, tummy, back n sideburns.

Since she’s half Latina, I believe she’d be hairy (to a lesser degree) in human form cuz I’m mixed Latino n black as well n am very hairy. I am projecting onto her!! I was teased growing up so to have Clawdeen be proud to be furry means something dear to my inner child

She likes to paint her claws n dye her “hair” but she has natural brown hair/fur. She’ll dye the “baby hairs” on top but not other face fur

She’s half Latina/werewolf n black/human and I love the double mixed analogy that can come from this n yes I will explore this

Draculaura -

Her vampire attributes are fangs, claws, pointy ears and pink skin. She has no natural blush cuz I headcanon vampires have no blood n need to be sustained by blood or in Draculaura’s case using other ways to sustain herself

She has a heart shaped beauty mark below her eye that she’ll incorporate in her make up. She’ll paint her claws with Clawdeen. She’s dyed half her hair pink purely for the vibes. I think her whole fam is vamp goth but she loves that splash of pink n hearts n frills.

She’s mixed Romanian and Vietnamese but I think she grew up in the US

Frankie Stein -

Their frankenmonster traits are simply the total mishmash of parts. Their body is made up of probably stolen human body parts (I feel like their parents must have mad scientist grave robber crackhead energy fr please I hope they appear in the show) n I think their hair is choppy too cuz it’s made up a bunch of different black n white hair from diff people but they just won’t cut it even. Their brain bits are all monster tho

There’s a panel on the back of their head for brain access. Their bionic leg and foot are interchangeable. Their stitches can come undone but reattaching is easy n they still have control over limbs when detached cuz of some mad science mumbo jumbo

They dyed some strands of hair blue cuz that’s fun. They have a gap in their teeth

They’re technically mixed race cuz I believe they’re literally a combo of diff races of corpses lmaooo I do have some thoughts that they’re made up of people gone too soon but that’ll be a diff post!!

If I think of more, I’ll update! I’ll also slowly release the other monsters

[bitcell]

i have been spinning around my head that one post that talked about queer representation on the qsmp and i thought i would share a few of my thoughts as someone who’s latina and who has been keeping up with mcrp since 2020. 

first of all, why did i have to state that i’m latina? because i’m gonna tackle some cultural background and how it’s showcased in the difference between how latinos portray queer characters and americans/europeans. obviously, this is a subjective view and other people might have different opinions.

all throughout last year, (huge thanks to quackity for creating the qsmp and making a conglomerate of different cultures and languages being shared and appreciated) i noticed that there’s a stark difference in the way latinos portray, present and treat queer relationships. labels and spoken remarks of their queerness are always integral parts of the way they interact with other characters around them, it is part of their character, it’s a defining trait, it’s not something to be hidden or something that is ambiguous. if a character is queer, they will immediately tell their audience. (cellbit talking about being gay and happy. roier talking about roier cubito being gay. bagi talking about the attraction she feels for other female characters), meanwhile in all mcrp that i saw where the majority of the ccs were american/european cishet men, they showed traces of queerness, but they never admitted to it or when they were questioned they shot it down, talking about how relationships that may seem romantic in nature are just a play on the connection of characters with no attraction involved. 

could this be because latinos are considered “more open” to talk about their feelings? of course, you can’t erase the cultural identity of those players, even if they’re playing characters who are not them. could this be because europeans and americans are “more closed off” about their feelings? of course. could this be because of the repercussions of rpf and people blurring the lines of reality and fiction in the past? also yes. 

but what i can happily say is that i see this stigma of queer representation being changed due to the openness of those latinos characters and the way they clearly state the difference between a character and a content creator, and that leads to them being able to portray more faithfully the emotions and the inner struggles of their characters. also, before i end this part, HUGE props to fitmc and his rp and the way he found the perfect balance between portraying a queer character and their struggles.

[sparxaf]

OC Introduction

Liliana Clarke-Reyes

“Boy, you’ve really got people fooled into thinking you’re the villa sweetheart," Priya said. Lili rolled her eyes. “I never claimed to be anything of the sort. I say fuck far too often to be anyone’s sweetheart.”

MC of The Sun in My Eyes. Call her Lili. Or Lil. Or even Liliana if you're nasty. Just don't call her perfect. She hates that shit.

24 | she/her | afro-latina | scouser | bilingual | belly dancer | foster care charity worker | 7 secret tattoos | optimist | loves spicy food | swiftie | perfectionist | sweet & snarky | great with kids | bad with animals | bubble baths are a religion |

lili's mood boards

Mood boards are how I build characters. It gives me a chance to play and discover their likes and dislikes. So I have tons of them for Lili. Please note that in the story and in my head, Lili is quite a bit darker than the faceclaim I used for her. I will post seperately about that, because it was a whole THING.

Board 1: Villa Lili

In my head this is how the show depicted Lili initially. Bubbly and bright. And all of this stuff IS her, but it's not all of her.

Board 2: Real Life Lili

This is Lili on the inside. Wistful, organized, emosh, and obsessed with shoes.

Board 3: Lili's Home Aesthetic

I just love interior design and had fun building Lili's home aesthetic.

Board 4: Lili's Fashion Sense

I always pictured her wearing mostly blacks, whites, and neutrals. With some random pops of gold/yellow and red thrown in. She loves her a one sleeve top and ripped jeans. Overall she has edgy autumn vibes. Lots of sweaters hanging off the shoulder and ankle boots clacking on the pavements. Super dark lipstick and black fingernails, always. A little tribute to her inner emo-kid.

Board 5: Lili's Life in Liverpool

This might be my favorite of her boards. This is a little taste of Lili's life outside the villa. Her exes, her bestie, her siblings. And all of her tattoos. I cannot tell you what a hardship it was to spend hours looking at pictures of Harry Styles in order to find one for that album.

So yeah. That's Lil.

[haleyknudsenmulticulturalamerica]

Blog Post 1: On My Block

The show, On My Block, is a Netflix original TV show centered around four high school students: Jamal, Monsé, Ruby, and Cesar. On My Block takes place in South Central Los Angeles, specifically in the “rough inner city”, as Netflix describes. With the setting and the ethnically diverse characters in this show, there are many ways that it relates to our course topics. 

In general, On My Block is a representation of multiculturalism. Gregory Jay discusses multiculturalism in his paper, What is Multiculturalism? The term “multiculturalism” is used to stray away from the term “race” when discussing one’s identity. Jay states that “race has no significant meaning as a way of categorizing human differences” (2). Multiculturalism is a much broader term that includes a variety of aspects of an individual’s identity. Jay describes three aspects of one’s identity: Visible, Invisible, and Core (5). Visible aspects include one’s gender, ethnicity, age, and physical attributes. Invisible aspects include religion, education, skills, and parental status. The core aspects are things like character, personality, and sexual orientation. A wide array of multiculturalism is seen in On My Block through the main four characters alone. Monsé is “a headstrong Afro-Latina tomboy” who is raised by a single father, as stated by Wikipedia. Ruby is an academically strong character of Mexican descent. Jamal is the nerd of the group, who is African American. Lastly, Cesar is a Latino who is forced into gang life at the hands of his older brother. All four characters have differing ethnicities, characteristics, and lifestyles, which expresses the multiculturalism within the show. 

Latino identity is at the core of On My Block. Besides Jamal, the main characters all share some form of Latino descent. The Latino identity and life within it is expressed in Chela Sandoval and Guisela Latorre’s article, Chicana/o Artivism: Judy Baca’s Digital Work with Youth of Color. Baca grew up in similar neighborhoods described in On My Block. Baca collaborated with gang members on her murals, bringing the community around her together. Sandoval and Latorre describe that “she forged with rival gang members across neighborhood lines” (88). They gained mutual respect through creative works. Baca’s work was also based in Los Angeles, the show’s setting. She created unity through her murals and often discussed racial and gender issues through her art. On My Block takes place in a roughly Hispanic-dominated setting. There is gang rivalry represented in the shows through “the Santos”, a Hispanic gang, and “the Prophet$”, an African American gang. The gang rivalry in the show can be connected to Baca’s description of gang activity surrounding her murals. Outside of the gang activity in On My Block, many of the side characters are of Hispanic heritage, which Baca’s work is centered around. 

Finally, our course topics and On My Block have a connection through the idea of multiracial identity. One of the main four, Monse, is of African American and Latino descent. This is a big part of how she identifies as a person. Susan Saulny discusses multiracial identity and the issues regarding it in her article, Black? White? Asian? More Young Americans Choose All of the Above. Saulny visits the University of Maryland and speaks with individuals apart of the “Multiracial and Biracial Student Association (MBSA)” (1). It is discussed that multiracial individuals often struggle with understanding how to identify. When it comes to the census, it was only an option to select one ethnicity box for generations. Some people of multiracial ethnicity only feel comfortable identifying with one race because of their skin color. Monsé tends to only identify as African American throughout the show. This may be due to her skin color or that she is raised by her father who is African American. There are times in On My Block where Monsé will identify more with Hispanic customs, though. I think the struggle of multiracial identity is one of the smaller aspects of the show but is still represented through Monsé.

References:

“On My Block.” Wikipedia, Wikimedia Foundation, 18 Nov. 2024, en.wikipedia.org/wiki/On_My_Block. 

Saulny, Susan. “Black? White? Asian? More Young Americans Choose All of the Above.” The New York Times, The New York Times, 30 Jan. 2011, www.nytimes.com/2011/01/30/us/30mixed.html. 

Sandoval, Chela. “‘chicana/o Artivism: Judy Baca’s Digital Work with Youth of Color.’” Academia.Edu, 9 June 2014, www.academia.edu/2659317/_Chicana_o_Artivism_Judy_Bacas_Digital_Work_With_Youth_of_Color_. 

Jay, Gregory. What Is Multiculturalism? 2011.

Thomas, Kaitlin. “On My Block Season 3 Review: Netflix’s Best Teen Series Is Better Than Ever.” TV Guide, 2020, www.tvguide.com/news/on-my-block-season-3-review-netflix.

[zeph-can-do-it]

My Favorite Latin Phrases (Pt.2)

Hi there amazing people! 

How are all of you? How is the quarantine affecting you? Did you do something new? It’s ok if you didn’t, because neither did I (high five!)

Remember when I made a post about my favorite Latin phrases, and couldn’t stop drooling over them??? Yes, and you all loved it too.

So here I am with a new loveable list. I learnt some new Latin phrases and couldn’t help share it with you guys.

Here we go:

adsum

I am here  (cause’ why not?)

quis leget haec?

who will read this?  (you of course.)

alterius non sit qui suus esse potest

let no man be another’s who can be his own.  (IMPRINT THIS ON YOUR MINDS!!!)

amor et melle et felle est fecundissimus

love is rich with both honey and venom  (I can see a cursed lover saying it with a sigh, while hunched on his stack of poetry.)

bibere veneum in auro

to drink poison from a golden cup  (I think this one is similar to ‘not everything that glitters is gold.’, you know how someone beautiful can be crappy too?)

audi, vide, sile

listen, look, and be silent  (my absolute favorite!)

vita brevis est, licet supra mille annos exeat 

life is short, even if it go on longer than a thousand years.   (found this on some blog, called Bestiaria Latina Blog. But we all can relate to it, right?)

lux brumalis

the light of winter  (this is hitting me in the guts. Because I can never be ungrateful for the sunlight in winter. It’s one of the most soothing things of this cold weather.)

ducunt volentum fata, nolentum trahunt

the fates lead the willing and drag the unwilling  (this hits hard.)

ad honorem

for the honor   (I’m gonna create a fictional military world similar to Attack on Titan, and would make this as some kind of symbol for their national flag. Don’t laugh. I’m absolutely serious.)

si vis amari ama

if you want to be loved, love.  (simple as that.)

est quaedam flere voluptas

there is a certain pleasure in weeping  (where are my dark academia buddies at?)

causa latet, vis est notissima

the cause is hidden, but the result is well known  (they don’t see your hard work, they only see the result. I wonder if any other language have some version of this phrase.)

fiat lux

let there be light  (stop hating each other. Let there be light in your hearts.)

odi et amo

I hate and I love  (another cursed lover.)

qui totum vult totum perdit

he who wants everything loses everything  (a harsh thing written in such beautiful words.)

caveat emptor

let the buyer beware

pro bono 

done without charge

terra incognita

unknown land  (heard this one a long time ago but never knew it was Latin.)

abyssus abyssum invocat

deep calls unto deep   (same as how this Latin is calling my inner writer who might be Sylvia Plath reincarnated.) 

veni, vidi, vici

I came, I saw, I conquered   (WHOM DID THEY ATTRIBUTE IT TO???!!! I want to know the history of all these three-word proverbs, they are killing me.)

ergo dum me diligis

so long as you love me   (, I wouldn’t love anyone else. But as soon as you show me your back, you are on the top of my to-be-killed-soon list. Let’s just hope this is the complete proverb.)

dulce periculum

danger is sweet   (dude, what kind of Ocean’s 11 thing is this?)

natura non constristatur

nature is not saddened   (it is, honey, it is.)

tempus fugit

time flies

And finally, to give you a bit of motivation,

carpe diem

seize the day 

I’ll be super glad if you add more to the list. Not only Latin but any other language is welcome. 

Let’s share and spread love of languages!!! 

[hellomynameisbisexual]

Here's a shortlist of those who realized that I — a cis woman who'd identified as heterosexual for decades of life — was in fact actually bi, long before I realized it myself recently: my sister, all my friends, my boyfriend, and the TikTok algorithm.

On TikTok, the relationship between user and algorithm is uniquely (even sometimes uncannily) intimate. An app which seemingly contains as many multitudes of life experiences and niche communities as there are people in the world, we all start in the lowest common denominator of TikTok. Straight TikTok (as it's popularly dubbed) initially bombards your For You Page with the silly pet videos and viral teen dances that folks who don't use TikTok like to condescendingly reduce it to.

Quickly, though, TikTok begins reading your soul like some sort of divine digital oracle, prying open layers of your being never before known to your own conscious mind. The more you use it, the more tailored its content becomes to your deepest specificities, to the point where you get stuff that's so relatable that it can feel like a personal attack (in the best way) or (more dangerously) even a harmful trigger from lifelong traumas.

For example: I don't know what dark magic (read: privacy violations) immediately clued TikTok into the fact that I was half-Brazilian, but within days of first using it, Straight TikTok gave way to at first Portuguese-speaking then broader Latin TikTok. Feeling oddly seen (being white-passing and mostly American-raised, my Brazilian identity isn't often validated), I was liberal with the likes, knowing that engagement was the surefire way to go deeper down this identity-affirming corner of the social app.

TikTok made lots of assumptions from there, throwing me right down the boundless, beautiful, and oddest multiplicities of Alt TikTok, a counter to Straight TikTok's milquetoast mainstreamness.

Home to a wide spectrum of marginalized groups, I was giving out likes on my FYP like Oprah, smashing that heart button on every type of video: from TikTokers with disabilities, Black and Indigenous creators, political activists, body-stigma-busting fat women, and every glittering shade of the LGBTQ cornucopia. The faves were genuine, but also a way to support and help offset what I knew about the discriminatory biases in TikTok's algorithm.

My diverse range of likes started to get more specific by the minute, though. I wasn't just on general Black TikTok anymore, but Alt Cottagecore Middle-Class Black Girl TikTok (an actual label one creator gave her page's vibes). Then it was Queer Latina Roller Skating Girl TikTok, Women With Non-Hyperactive ADHD TikTok, and then a double whammy of Women Loving Women (WLW) TikTok alternating between beautiful lesbian couples and baby bisexuals.

Looking back at my history of likes, the transition from queer “ally” to “salivating simp” is almost imperceptible.

There was no one precise "aha" moment. I started getting "put a finger down" challenges that wouldn't reveal what you were putting a finger down for until the end. Then, 9-fingers deep (winkwink), I'd be congratulated for being 100% bisexual. Somewhere along the path of getting served multiple WLW Disney cosplays in a single day and even dom lesbian KinkTok roleplay — or whatever the fuck Bisexual Pirate TikTok is — deductive reasoning kind of spoke for itself.

But I will never forget the one video that was such a heat-seeking missile of a targeted attack that I was moved to finally text it to my group chat of WLW friends with a, "Wait, am I bi?" To which the overwhelming consensus was, "Magic 8 Ball says, 'Highly Likely.'"

Serendipitously posted during Pride Month, the video shows a girl shaking her head at the caption above her head, calling out confused and/or closeted queers who say shit like, "I think everyone is a LITTLE bisexual," to the tune of "Closer" by The Chainsmokers. When the lyrics land on the word "you," she points straight at the screen — at me — her finger and inquisitive look piercing my hopelessly bisexual soul like Cupid's goddamn arrow.

Oh no, the voice inside my head said, I have just been mercilessly perceived.

As someone who had, in fact, done feminist studies at a tiny liberal arts college with a gender gap of about 70 percent women, I'd of course dabbled. I've always been quick to bring up the Kinsey scale, to champion a true spectrum of sexuality, and to even declare (on multiple occasions) that I was, "straight, but would totally fuck that girl!"

Oh no, the voice inside my head returned, I've literally just been using extra words to say I was bi.

After consulting the expertise of my WLW friend group (whose mere existence, in retrospect, also should've clued me in on the flashing neon pink, purple, and blue flag of my raging bisexuality), I ran to my boyfriend to inform him of the "news."

"Yeah, baby, I know. We all know," he said kindly.

"How?!" I demanded.

Well for one, he pointed out, every time we came across a video of a hot girl while scrolling TikTok together, I'd without fail watch the whole way through, often more than once, regardless of content. (Apparently, straight girls do not tend to do this?) For another, I always breathlessly pointed out when we'd pass by a woman I found beautiful, often finding a way to send a compliment her way. ("I'm just a flirt!" I used to rationalize with a hand wave, "Obvs, I'm not actually sexually attracted to them!") Then, I guess, there were the TED Talk-like rants I'd subject him to about the thinly veiled queer relationship in Adventure Time between Princess Bubblegum and Marcelyne the Vampire Queen — which the cowards at Cartoon Network forced creators to keep as subtext!

And, well, when you lay it all out like that...

But my TikTok-fueled bisexual awakening might actually speak less to the omnipotence of the app's algorithm, and more to how heteronormativity is truly one helluva drug.

Sure, TikTok bombarded me with the thirst traps of my exact type of domineering masc lady queers, who reduced me to a puddle of drool I could no longer deny. But I also recalled a pivotal moment in college when I briefly questioned my heterosexuality, only to have a lesbian friend roll her eyes and chastise me for being one of those straight girls who leads Actual Queer Women on. I figured she must know better. So I never pursued any of my lady crushes in college, which meant I never experimented much sexually, which made me conclude that I couldn't call myself bisexual if I'd never had actual sex with a woman. I also didn't really enjoy lesbian porn much, though the fact that I'd often find myself fixating on the woman during heterosexual porn should've clued me into that probably coming more from how mainstream lesbian porn is designed for straight men.

The ubiquity of heterormativity, even when unwittingly perpetrated by members of the queer community, is such an effective self-sustaining cycle. Aside from being met with queer-gating (something I've since learned bi folks often experience), I had a hard time identifying my attraction to women as genuine attraction, simply because it felt different to how I was attracted to men.

Heteronormativity is truly one helluva drug.

So much of women's sexuality — of my sexuality — can feel defined by that carnivorous kind of validation you get from men. I met no societal resistance in fully embodying and exploring my desire for men, either (which, to be clear, was and is insatiable slut levels of wanting that peen.) But in retrospect, I wonder how many men I slept with not because I was truly attracted to them, but because I got off on how much they wanted me.

My attraction to women comes with a different texture of eroticism. With women (and bare with a baby bi, here), the attraction feels more shared, more mutual, more tender rather than possessive. It's no less raw or hot or all-consuming, don't get me wrong. But for me at least, it comes more from a place of equality rather than just power play. I love the way women seem to see right through me, to know me, without us really needing to say a word.

I am still, as it turns out, a sexual submissive through-and-through, regardless of what gender my would-be partner is. But, ignorantly and unknowingly, I'd been limiting my concept of who could embody dominant sexual personas to cis men. But when TikTok sent me down that glorious rabbit hole of masc women (who know exactly what they're doing, btw), I realized my attraction was not to men, but a certain type of masculinity. It didn't matter which body or genitalia that presentation came with.

There is something about TikTok that feels particularly suited to these journeys of sexual self-discovery and, in the case of women loving women, I don't think it's just the prescient algorithm. The short-form video format lends itself to lightning bolt-like jolts of soul-bearing nakedness, with the POV camera angles bucking conventions of the male gaze, which entrenches the language of film and TV in heterosexual male desire.

In fairness to me, I'm far from the only one who missed their inner gay for a long time — only to have her pop out like a queer jack-in-the-box throughout a near year-long quarantine that led many of us to join TikTok. There was the baby bi mom, and scores of others who no longer had to publicly perform their heterosexuality during lockdown — only to realize that, hey, maybe I'm not heterosexual at all?

Flooded with video after video affirming my suspicions, reflecting my exact experiences as they happened to others, the change in my sexual identity was so normalized on TikTok that I didn't even feel like I needed to formally "come out." I thought this safe home I'd found to foster my baby bisexuality online would extend into the real world.

But I was in for a rude awakening.

Testing out my bisexuality on other platforms, casually referring to it on Twitter, posting pictures of myself decked out in a rainbow skate outfit (which I bought before realizing I was queer), I received nothing but unquestioning support and validation. Eventually, I realized I should probably let some members of my family know before they learned through one of these posts, though.

Daunted by the idea of trying to tell my Latina Catholic mother and Swiss Army veteran father (who's had a crass running joke about me being a "lesbian" ever since I first declared myself a feminist at age 12), I chose the sibling closest to me. Seeing as how gender studies was one of her majors in college too, I thought it was a shoo-in. I sent an off-handed, joke-y but serious, "btw I'm bi now!" text, believing that's all that would be needed to receive the same nonchalant acceptance I found online.

It was not.

I didn't receive a response for two days. Hurt and panicked by what was potentially my first mild experience of homophobia, I called them out. They responded by insisting we need to have a phone call for such "serious" conversations. As I calmly tried to express my hurt on said call, I was told my text had been enough to make this sibling worry about my mental wellbeing. They said I should be more understanding of why it'd be hard for them to (and I'm paraphrasing) "think you were one way for twenty-eight years" before having to contend with me deciding I was now "something else."

But I wasn't "something else," I tried to explain, voice shaking. I hadn't knowingly been deceiving or hiding this part of me. I'd simply discovered a more appropriate label. But it was like we were speaking different languages. Other family members were more accepting, thankfully. There are many ways I'm exceptionally lucky, my IRL environment as supportive as Baby Bi TikTok. Namely, I'm in a loving relationship with a man who never once mistook any of it as a threat, instead giving me all the space in the world to understand this new facet of my sexuality.

I don't have it all figured out yet. But at least when someone asks if I listen to Girl in Red on social media, I know to answer with a resounding, "Yes," even though I've never listened to a single one of her songs. And for now, that's enough.

[vaingloriosa]

If it's not too much of a bother can I ask what s/e//lfships-in-sp/a//nish did? I remember seeing her art around when I was into DBH for a bit. (Emphasis on was)

first off, congrats on getting off that dbh juice! very proud of you for leaving that part of your life behind. love that for u!!

i’ve actually been meaning to make a post like this. in order to fully answer your question, there has to be a little bit of vulnerability on my part. it’s something that has taken me awhile to process and heal (i’ve only talked to a handful of people about this) from but i am at a point where i think i am ready to talk about it. please note that i am only answering this for y’all to know the truth; this is not me trying to stir the pot and cause any drama. if you still follow her, i am not the all-knowing moral authority to tell you to stop following her but what i will say is to hear me out and reconsider who you give your support to.

there might be some things that i am missing because i don’t like remembering any of this but i will try my best. i will not be using any names in order to protect these people’s identities, even if some of these people did hurt me. again, i am not here to callout anybody, i am not here to say “officer! this person right here!” because this is not what this is all about. i am only here to give you my experience with SSIS (her username for short). also, i do not have screenshots, i deleted the server, and there is no evidence to support me. i didn’t want to keep such baggage around and wanted to just move on...and i hope you can trust me with what i am about to say.

SSIS and i were like two peas in a pod. when we found one another in the dbh fandom, i looked up to her. i thought she was one of the greatest artists in dbh and i felt so intimated by her. soon, i think she was the one contacted me and from there, it was like an instant click. we got to talking and it felt like we were friends for a long time. slowly, in private messages, SSIS and i were often vulnerable with one another. i talked about the things i have to face as a latina woman, and she talked about her own struggles. i thought i was being open and honest with another woman of color but it wasn’t until way later that i found out that she is a white woman. that is something to keep in mind as we go further down the line.

there were some things that she said about other people that felt like she was trying to persuade me from keeping my distance from. i will not name names of these blogs but they were also fairly popular in the dbh fandom and it felt strange the way she got so angry and heated over people i called my friends. sadly, i was influenced by her comments because i started to internalize her words and became weary of these people since she said that they, too, were secretly talking about her and had their own clique. this is something that has taken a lot to unlearn because words can hold a lot of weight. this really should’ve been my first warning, a red flag, but i kept being friends with SSIS because, well, i trusted her and i considered her a good friend of mine. i wanted to defend her honor, i wanted to stick up for her as she did for me. i thought she was on my side as i was hers.

then i created a server for my mutuals and followers.

things were going great, everyone was getting along, we were all making inside jokes, and just supporting one another. slowly, there were events that started to unfold that truly revealed the true nature of who SSIS is as a person. it started out with when there started to be an inner circle within my server. it was SSIS, three other dbh content creators, and another reader of mine. now, i loved that they slowly started to become really good friends with another. however, it slowly started to feel like they were becoming like an exclusive club where SSIS became the head person of the group. i had my suspicions confirmed when i saw that they created their own personal server which, again, it’s okay to make your own server when you have your own friends. but the thing is...they felt withdrawn from the rest of the group and me. it’s like they tried to distance themselves away from me and me only. now there’s another part that i really...don’t like talking about. this part...it’s something that i never fully...grasped. whenever i think about it, it makes me sick to my stomach. the one person that was a reader of mine is a minor and these four adults friended this minor. again, as long as you are respectful with one another, it’s okay to have a friendship. however, this friendship became a bit inappropriate when they were sharing NSFW content with the minor in the server. they even encouraged such behavior from them....and i remember having a talk with my mods of the server saying how that was super fucking odd and kind of disgusting. i didn’t even wanna know what was going in in that private server. this should’ve been the second red flag, but i gave the benefit of the doubt.

however, this wasn’t the penultimate thing.

you know by now that i am a vocal person when it comes to activism. i do not shy away from hot topics because i want people to be informed and be comfortable in the uncomfortable. some of my mutuals often asked me what i meant when i said “all white people” or when i said that white people are responsible for this and that and i was okay with answering these questions because, hey, you’re not gonna learn if you don’t ask questions. at first, i was willing to teach my white friends about some of the things that contribute to the oppression of people of color and what their white privilege meant but what i should’ve learned sooner rather than later was that i can’t always assume the role of teacher. 

and there are some things that must come from a white person in order for them to recognize their privilege, realize their behavior, and come up with ways to do better, and put action towards that.

sometimes that’s better said than done. some of the white friends that i had in that server were kinda agitated by all my “accusations” of all white people but i kept reminding them that when i say that, i only mean this type or that type...but if the shoe fit? i could tell that SSIS was just not understanding any of that...but she never really said that. but here i thought she was a woman of color because she said that her specific group of spaniards faced oppression. i do want to say that it is partially my part for not putting two and two together that spaniards are europeans and are not considered people of color, no matter the region. however, the way she spoke of her struggles made me want to believe that she was. it’s a stupid reason, i will say that. even when typing this, i still can’t believe i thought she was a woman of color...and i want to try to make excuses but really, i should’ve been more informed. but the more i think about it, SSIS should’ve been the one to correct me, stop me, and tell me that she isn’t a woman of color, that she is european. you don’t lie about one’s identity like that just because you think being called a woman of color gets you some sort of clout. people think that being “hispanic” also covers spainards and i fell into that trap. SSIS shouldn’t have kept up the lie like that. that should’ve been the third red flag but i wanted to attribute that to them learning and growing.

the catalyst seemed to be when notre dame burned. an empty church building, mind you. the way that her and the rest of her group were viciously attacking my friends of the server for making jokes about it, forcing one to apologize for doing nothing wrong, and quite literally foaming at the mouth for some silly symbol of colonization by europeans...i was kind of taken aback by it. i remember being in the car with my sister and her boyfriend and reading the messages out loud and they started to laugh because c’mon! it was ridiculous that they were defending this building! this should’ve been my fourth red flag, but once again, i believe people can change.

it became quiet after that, real quiet. i know some of my mods decided to take a break from the server after such a heated argument that was initiated by SSIS. slowly but surely, the server started to pick up again and for that i was grateful that this didn���t completely severe any trust. though i did notice the absence of SSIS and her little friend group. it became more blatantly obvious that these people have separated themselves from us. the private conversation that i still held with SSIS slowed down to more sporadic messages. however, i still supported her and her art. i donated money to her, i even offered to help her buy a website for her art and merch. the support from those friends dwindled down but i continued to support their content no matter what. i wanted to let them know that even though we may have some differences, we can overcome these challenges and support one another.

gosh, sorry, i started...getting teary eyed from remembering this because it comes to show that internet friends...you don’t always truly know them.

i’m not 100% sure when this started to occur, whether it was before the big fight or afterwards but i slowly started to realize that these people were not my friends. as y’all are aware, i started to have a steady disinterest in dbh and often was vocal about that. given that, everyone is allowed to criticize media so my opinions are my own. i was trying to fight for a better community for the dbh fandom, i was trying to fight for my voice and my fellow stans of color to have their voices and stories heard. i believe that SSIS was on my side because she, too, agreed with me for wanting a better fandom where fans of color are taken seriously and are recognized. i thought she was willing to fight for me because she, too, was disappointed that nothing ever come about my rants and awareness. however, that wasn’t the same tune she and her friends were singing. when i brought up racism in fandom and transformative fanworks, i was met by such a response by one white author (who has her own story with me, but i am not sure if i should talk about but she apparently tried to get in contact with me to apologize but as of today, i still haven’t heard from her) who said that it was up to me to create the content that i want to see...and that is a very racist thing to say. the responsibility shouldn’t fall on me or on the shoulders of my fellow people of color. i could go off on a tangent but...lemme bring this back to what i wanted to say.

when that decline started to happen, i was becoming more and more aware that two people from this inner circle, SSIS and that other white author, were making vague tweets about me. they, too, also started to make vague posts about me as well. they started talking so...horribly about me and the things i felt so passionately about...that these things hurt like hell. fuck, crying again...um, i don’t remember specific wordings but i do remember that they were specifically about me...and they were posting that while i was still following them. that’s what hurt the most...because they knew i was going to read these tweets and these posts...so i talked it over with my mods, cried a bit about it, and they held my hand while i unfollowed them quietly from twitter, tumblr, and instagram. even despite it all, i was so....it was hard to unfollow them. i don’t know why...they hurt me so why did i feel like i was betraying them? i unfollowed everyone from that friend group except for the reader of mine because i gave him the benefit of the doubt, i wanted to believe that he was merely influenced by them to do things he was against, and i hoped that he, too, would recognize what they were doing was wrong. 

then it happened. all hell broke lose.

it started with the white author who posted a public message on the general server channel that i would’ve rather have had her sent that personally to me than just having this out in the open for everyone to see. since this isn’t about her, i will save my commentary and just say that it was kinda hurtful to read. 

then, i guess that white author gave the confidence of SSIS who dropped a very long and personal message on the server that was one of the most vile, vicious, and racist things i have ever read in my entire life. she began the message with “now that you unfollowed me on twitter, i can really tell you what’s on my mind” and typed up one of the most ugliest and most wicked messages...i wish i knew what it all said but i remember reading it....and crying. it broke my heart knowing that this woman, someone i considered my friend, someone i trusted, someone that i shared a lot of vulnerable shit with, someone that i thought i looked up to...someone i cared for....harbored such hatred towards me. slowly i began to see that she kept up a front with me, kept those feelings at bay, and waited until i slipped or something so that she had an excuse to air out what she thought was “dirty laundry”. to this day, it’s one of the most traumatic things that has ever happened to me.

after that happened, i deleted the server as it served as a reminder of what transpired. i apologized to everyone on my server though there wasn’t anything on my part to apologize for but i felt like i had to. all of last year was one of the most difficult years i have ever been through because it made me second guess myself, my abilities, and i became incredibly weary of white women (even more so than before). i lost any motivation to write, i lost any creative spark i had before that time, and just...completely became a shell of myself. it sounds so dramatic and silly of me...but it felt like i was in some sort of weird sad episode where i couldn’t control my impulses. i deleted a lot of my work, i deleted a lot of my content from my blog, even content i was proud of. even outside of the internet, i was...withdrawn. i tried to throw myself into working but i didn’t even have that drive to do that. i wanted to get over it so badly because i didn’t want to give up like that. i became withdrawn from others, i closed myself from speaking up about what happened because it hurt to open up a huge wound like that. plus, i couldn’t really talk about this with my family or my other friends because it’s like “hey, this one internet friend that i had turned out to be a racist snake” like it sounds wild to be upset about that. it felt silly to me because my gosh, this is the internet! nothing is real! everything is so...trivial. but what happened with SSIS last year is something that i haven’t 100% healed from but i have come a long way since april of 2019 and i am proud of myself despite how it doesn’t feel like i have healed much. also i don’t remember most of 2019 if we are being honest. however, just a few days ago i got a notification from a tweet she had tagged me in but instead of panicking, i kinda laughed? about it? rolled my eyes? that’s growth, babeyy!

if you are a follower of hers, you do what you want with this information. like i said before, i am not going to tell you what to do. you are the one to ultimately make that decision. whether you decide to send screenshots to her of this ask, whether you choose to defend her honor in my inbox, call me a liar, block her, idc but whatever you do, please don’t send her hate anons or hateful asks...i do not endorse that behavior whatsoever. thank y’all for hearing me out

[playmaker0810]

my take away with this, aside from Camila doing her usual beautiful essay, is the confirmation of her image changing, maybe some of her brand too. she is really going for that mature, sexy, sensual latina that most of her latina counterparts are doing too like Shakira, Anitta, Becky G, Cardi B etc. this part of her essay made me realized that: “then there’s the other Camila. And she knows what she wants out of life, is aware of how little time I have to let little Camila run the show while time passes by, and grabs young me by the hand and forces her out the door saying ‘Let’s go. You’ll survive, and I’m not gonna miss out on this. Let’s go.’ And that is literally how I can sum up how I’ve gotten to this point in my life.”

remember her image in 2017 where she’s like a little kid or still a child at heart that’s full of energy and crazy but still very adorable and lovable? yeah that’s GONE now (well in the public sense). hello to Camila’s new image of fully embracing her sensuality making people thirsty for her esp those misogynistic homophobic men who loves to objectify women with a dirty kink of sexualizing innocent looking women. (i know Camila can fully embrace her sensuality, sexiness and sex appeal bc she wants it for it herself that she wants to feel good about herself but we know that’s not the case esp for her being a rising popstar and there are plenty of people who loves exploiting her for money.)

also it’s weird how she says that she came up with this essay bc of that interview she did the other day asking her the question she answered in her ig post. if that’s the case, why answer it in an ig post and not let the audience wait and read her answer in that interview? unless her answer in that interview is not the same with her ig essay or like she deviated and said i’m gonna tell my truth before that interview comes out and i don’t care about the consequences of my action or her long essay is part of a narrative she needs to lay down a foundation bc of the series of image changes she needs to do this era.

in conclusion, don’t be surprised of the things Camila will do this era that’s new or like she’s revealing more. i’m preparing myself for that and i hope she won’t get too exploited. i want her to channel her inner sexy karla but not to the point of her getting too anxious of doing something she isn’t ready for and ends up with her breaking down. we don’t want that. so here’s to another era of supporting Camila where we call out the bullshit but still loving the shit out of her. 🍻

[annarellix]

MISS DEL RIO: A NOVEL OF DELORES DEL RIO, THE FIRST MAJOR LATINA STAR IN HOLLYWOOD by Bárbara Mujica

Book Summary: In the tradition of Marie Benedict's The Only Woman in the Room and Adriana Trigiani's All The Stars in the Heavens, a stunning biographical historical novel set over five decades about Mexican actress Dolores del Río—the first major Latina star in Hollywood, member of Tinseltown's glamorous inner circle with notables such as Orson Welles and Marlene Dietrich, and proud Mexican woman who helped pioneer Mexican cinema's Golden Age.

She was known as the most beautiful woman in the world, but Dolores del Río was more than a pretty face. 1910, Mexico: As the country’s revolution spreads, Dolores, the daughter of a wealthy banker, must flee her comfortable life in Durango or risk death. Her family settles in Mexico City, where, at 16, she marries the worldly Jaime del Río. But in a twist of fate, at a party she meets an influential American director who recognizes in her a natural performer. He invites her to Hollywood, and practically overnight, the famous Miss del Río is born. In California, Dolores’s star quickly rises, and her days become a whirlwind of movie-making and glamorous events. Swept up in Tinseltown’s glitzy inner circle, she takes her place among film royalty such as Marlene Dietrich and Orson Welles. But as her career soars to new heights, her personal life becomes increasingly complicated, with family tragedy, painful divorce, and real heartache. And when she’s labeled box office poison amid growing prejudice before WWII, Dolores must decide what price she’s willing to pay to achieve her dreams, and if her heart and future instead lie where it all began... in Mexico. Spanning half a century and narrated by Dolores’s fictional hairdresser and longtime friend, Miss del Río traces the life of a trailblazing woman whose legacy in Hollywood and in Mexico still shines bright today.

My Review: A fascinating book about Dolores Del Rio, the first Latina star in Hollywood. It was a riveting and fascinating read, I learn who Dolores del Rio was because all knew was related to some pictures. I discovered a clever woman and how hard her life was. The author did an excellent job in developing the characters and describing the fascinating historical background. There's a lot of research and this book made watch a Del Rio's movie and read something more about her. Good storytelling, character development, and well researched historical background. Highly recommended. Many thanks to Graydon House and Netgalley for this ARC, all opinions are mine

The Author: Bárbara Mujica is the bestselling author of four novels, including Frida, which was translated into 17 languages. She is also an award-winning short story writer and essayist whose work has been published in The New York Times, The Washington Post, and The Miami Herald, among others. A professor emerita of Spanish at Georgetown University, she grew up in Los Angeles and now lives in Bethesda, Maryland.

Author Website: http://www.barbaramujica.com/contact-1.html Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Barbara-Mujica-Author-340343149394891/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/blmujica Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/284429.B_rbara_Mujica

Buy Links: BookShop: https://bookshop.org/books/miss-del-rio-a-novel-of-dolores-del-rio-the-first-major-latina-star-in-hollywood/9781525804991 Harlequin: https://www.harlequin.com/shop/books/9781525899935_miss-del-ro.html Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/miss%20del%20rio Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Miss-del-R%C3%ADo-Dolores-Hollywood-ebook/dp/B09P1NH1WQ/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2BZO8TK7X65UR&keywords=miss+del+rio&qid=1662666853&sprefix=miss+del+rio%2Caps%2C60&sr=8-1 Books-A-Million: https://www.booksamillion.com/p/Miss-Ro/Brbara-Mujica/9781525899935?id=8292090795540   Powell’s: https://www.powells.com/book/miss-del-ro-9781525899935

[almaasi]

reaction post typed while watching SPN 13x17 “The Thing”

in which I talk about Cas and Dean’s taste in porn a surprising amount given the fact Cas wasn’t even in the episode

03:18pm

i have no clue what to expect, all i know is the title

//googles it to find out who wrote this........

oh good its Davy Perez, this will be fun

i just hope cas is in this, we all need more cas in our lives

-

03:22

was that a tentacle

that seemed very much like a tentacle

i’m assuming that nice young lady did not make it out alive

-

03:22

“dum dum” “kick me”

i would make a comment like “dean are you TWELVE”

but yes

he is very much twelve at heart

also twelve is both a strange and beautiful word

-

03:24

WHO ARE THE NOTES FOR THOUGH

BESIDES DEAN’S INNER CHILD

IS CAS GONNA SHOW UP AND SQUINT

-

03:@5

i’m not entiiiiiirely sure but i think sam’s voice sounds a lil like that unfakeable “i just woke up” voice??

that always, ALWAYS bothers me in movies and such. someone wakes up and their voice is nOT the “hfughguguhu” of people who have actually just woken up

-

03:27

i hope they’re refrigerating/freezing both the blood of the holy man and the fruit from the tree of life

nobody likes gone-off spell ingredients

-

03:28

dean’s pained “i love books” >:{

i’m guessing it’s sarcastic but alSO MAYBE IT’S A REMINDER TO HIMSELF because he does actually love books and searches like these make him miserable

-

03:29

hurrr sam’s still got the post-it notes on him

-

03:29

DEAN IS SUCH A FUCKING ANGRY GOOFBALL

HONESTLY I THINK HIS PATRONUS MIGHT JUST STRAIGHT-UP BE A CAT??? I CAN’T BELIEVE I NEVER ACTUALLY CONSIDERED THAT BEFORE

HE JUST REMINDS ME OF CATS ALL OF A SUDDEN

dean: *tosses book against wall because it no longer serves him*

actually i say “i never considered that before” but also i wrote a 50k fic where he turns into a cat soooooooo

-

03:33

I CAN’T BELIEVE SAM HAS ARMS LIKE NOODLES AND HE CAN’T REACH HIS OWN BACK

dude just do the thing where you go underarm ???

WHY DO YOU MAKE IT LOOK SO DIFFICULT

-

03:36

“JINKIES”

10/10 continuity

sam: “you’re gonna stop saying that eventually right?”

dean: “i dunno. probably not”

DON’T GIVE IN TO PEER PRESSURE DEAN

-

03:38

these blackberry vines look like they were sort of.......carefully placed there

also has someone figured out what the significance of blackberries in spn is? there was blackberries when cas came back to life at the start of the season too

-

03:42

dean: “great. more books.”

sam: “you love books”

and yet again sam shows how he actually does know dean

-

03:44

so has this place been abandoned for years or....? because there should be more dust

-

03:45

SAM NO THE IMPORTANT THING WAS IN A BAG, CARRY IT WITH YOU

edit post-episode: wait did he ever go back for this?? what was that info even for in the end?? dean got the important stuff from looking at the pictures and following the weird noise

-

03:46

OH THE NICE LADY DID MAKE IT OUT ALIVE

AND OUT OF TIME???

-

03:48

awww dean gave sandy his bi pride shirt

headcanoning her as bi now because of reasons

-

03:49

demon: “aw man i love cats”

can davy perez just write the script for every deadly duo episode and improve it exponentially

-

03:53

dean: “i don’t know what stuffies are. i’ll take two. and the clam cakes”

joanne the waitress: “anything to drink?”

sam: “water would be great”

joanne the waitress: “oh that’s exciting. that comes with a lemon, are you sure you can handle that?”

i freaking love this ;u;

edit: a thought that occurred to me after i typed everything said below this: dean is undiscerning with his food........and his porn.............and probably his lovers.......... *cough* he’s bi *cough*

-

joanne: “oh my goodness you’re all skin and bones. when’s the last time you ate something?”

oh the one hand, cool beans for being rightfully concerned

but also my brain’s like ALERT ALERT DON’T COMMENT ON PEOPLE’S WEIGHT

(but also: “um i had lunch in the 1920s″)

edit: OH RIGHT sandy’s reaction makes sense now, knowing who she is

-

03:59

dean being so sweet and reassuring and kind to sandy makes me feel good

people being gentle to trauma survivors is so important, y’know???

-

04:18

lady: “if she gets food in her belly--?”

guy: “we’re all dead”

now that’s a twist i did NOT see coming

but at the same time it makes sense somehow

-

04:22

dean: “oh my goood that’s traaagic. it’s like a hallmark movie. but with tentacles”

don’t pretend that ain’t your thing deanie

-

04:25

dean: “glad you could make it”

for the record, freaking love dean being the damsel in distress and i don’t even know why

i bet when cas hears these stories he’s like “i CANNOT BELIEVE you keep almost dying when i’m not there to rescue you”

-

04:26

dean: “take us somewhere that’s not tentacle porn land.” *mumbling* “not that there’s anything wrong with that”

is there anything he’s NOT into?? in the right context??

.........which is a train of thought that leads me to an idea: if he’s into basically everything, i cannot even begin to imagine how that concept would stop the moment something gets gay. y’know?? like he wouldn’t be all “give me hentai, tentacles, all the kinks” and then also be like “BUT NO PENISES”

i’m sure there’s plenty of people like that in the world, but dean is absolutely not one of them

give dean some porn and he’ll have a good day, make it gay and there’s suddenly a lot more porn so he’ll have a good week. no?

-

04:31

dean: “considering i was about three seconds from being an inderdimensional booty call, yeah, i’d say i’m all right”

again...............in the right context.............i’m sure he’d be into that

(cas being the context, obvsies)

-

which is now making me want a fuck-or-die thing where cas is all “angel mating hormones are raging suddenly, must kiss/cuddle/snuggle/have sex or bad things will happen DEAN YOU’RE MY ONLY HOPE BECAUSE YOU’RE THE ONLY ONE I TRUST IN THAT WAY” and dean’s like “i mean sure we’re Just Friends but also woooooo yeah this feels good and i’m INTO IT maybe we could do this again when your magic angel hormones aren’t off the charts”

sometimes i think about that and can’t believe i haven’t written it yet

oh mannnnnnn i gotta stop imagining that and finish watching this episode already

-

04:42

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh that was GOOD DECENT ENTHRALLING AND INTERESTING EPISODE

i can’t say i have a lot of commentary ‘cause i was just busy watching and enjoying the journey

this felt.....lush??? and low-key glorious? all the things happening and all the events and people. and also lots of books and wooden boxes, i love books and wooden boxes

i wish i’d actually learned the names of the (latina??) brother and sister men of letters. i hope/expect they’ll be back some other time

NEEDED MORE CAS

although there wasn’t really any actual need for him

i’m now hoping he’ll end up saving dean or helping him or something in the other land

where even was he this episode??? where is he ever??? WHY IS HE NEVER AROUND ENOUGH

no bechdel test pass, weirdly? there were women but they only spoke to men, about men, or said something to another woman and got no reply???? it’s so frustrating and also STRANGE how difficult it seems to pass the test sometimes

anyway this was great and i’mma give it a 10/10 just because if i wasn’t overanalysing it here for my own writerly-slash-entertainment purposes i would’ve watched it with my family and it would’ve been a damn good way to pass the time

huzzah!!!

[were-cheetah-stiles]

The Summer Fling (Chapter 6) - Dylan O’Brien

Author: @were-cheetah-stiles

Title: “John F. Kennedy International Airport”

Relationship: Dylan O’Brien x Reader/OFC

Author’s Note: Welp, it’s 4:47am, and this will post at 10, my dedication to you people borders on lunacy. I hope you like it. I’m sorry if it’s not my best, I am tired. 

Summary: Dylan picks Y/n up from the airport after her trip to visit family for the Fourth of July and deepens their connection and trust.

Chapter Five - Chapter Six - Chapter Seven

Dylan O'Brien:  You come home tomorrow morning..... :)

You:  omg... i do?!

Dylan O'Brien: haha shut up.

Dylan O'Brien : Um, did you have plans for tomorrow when you get home?

You:  i land at 6pm and i was just going to take the airtran from JFK to Jamaica and I was going to take the subway from there, why?

Dylan O'Brien: Do you have any interest in seeing Spiderman?

You:  tomorrow?

Dylan O'Brien:  Yeah, if I came out and picked you up from the airport, would you be in the mood to see the movie with me that night?

You:  you're gonna drive all the way out from the Montauk to Brooklyn to get me from the airport to then see a two hour movie and then drive three hours back to the Hamptons and not fall asleep and crash and die....

Dylan O'Brien: Well when you put it that way... Yeah, I still want to see you.

Dylan O'Brien: And I want to see Spiderman :)

You: :)

You:  well, i want to see you, so if you really want to do all of that, then yea. I'll see Spiderman with you tomorrow night.

Dylan O'Brien: i'll see you at JFK at 6. text me when you land and send me your flight info?

You:  okay. goodnight, Dyl.

Dylan O'Brien: Sweet dreams, Y/n. I can't wait to see you tomorrow.

Dylan sat in Julia's car, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel and jiggling his leg, idling in the cellphone lot, staring at his phone, mentally trying to will it to light up. You had landed ten minutes before and said you would be quick once you got off the plane since you knew JFK so well. Dylan couldn't take the anticipation anymore. He had too many thoughts running through his head. Do I kiss her? Do I get out and help her with her bags? Of course you get out and help her with her bags. Don't be a dick. Then maybe you kiss her. Jesus fucking christ I want to kiss her again.Oh my god, I want a cigarette so badly right now. He got out of the car and paced next to it, until his phone vibrated in his hand.

Y/n Y/L/N:  just walked past baggage claim. i'll meet you in the center pick up lane towards the end. there are always less people towards the end.

Dylan jumped back into the car and took off, going a little faster than he should through the winding airport roads. He saw you standing exactly where you said you would and he pulled the car up. Your face lit up with a smile as you saw the now familiar vehicle, and Dylan walk out and towards the back to meet you.

"Hi. How was your flight?" Dylan asked, pulling your duffel bag off your shoulder and tossing it into the trunk, as you did the same with your backpack.

"Good. Short. How was the drive out here?"

Dylan closed the trunk and stared down at you, smiling and laughing nervously. "Good... Long... But worth it."

You thought for a second that he might lean down and try to kiss you again but the entire moment was ruined by the sound of the guy trying to get his minivan out from behind Julia's car laying on his horn. You whipped your head around as the deafening honking continued and your inner New Yorker came out. "WE GET IT, ASSHOLE! Enough!"

Dylan laughed and stared at the guy in the car gesticulating unkind things with his hands at you. "Okay, maybe we should just go."

"So chicken soup dumplings, huh? Am I going to hate this?" Dylan stared at the menu in front of him and then glanced up at you.

You smirked, reached across the table, pulled the menu out of his hands, placed it on top of yours and handed it to the waiter with a kind smile. "You're going to love it. We're going to do one chicken, one pork, and one Singapore mei fun with no shrimp... and extra chicken?" You glanced at Dylan and smiled. The waiter nodded, and walked away. "So I may have watched something that you were in on the plane home." You admitted, returning your full attention to Dylan.

"Oh fuck, don't tell me this. I've been living in blissful denial thinking that you hadn't seen any of my stuff. What'd you watch...?" Dylan squinted at you, half-faking physical pain over the conversation.

"Deepwater Horizon... but if it makes you feel any better, I didn't watch it for you."

Dylan started to snicker and furrowed his brow. "What do you mean? Who'd you watch it for?"

"Gina Rodriguez, obviously." You grinned, and Dylan laughed loudly.

"Oh! Obviously!" He mocked you, still laughing, holding his hand against his stomach as his giggles filled the small restaurant.

"I don't understand why you're laughing. She is the fucking greatest. Jane The Virgin is the best show on TV." You teased him.

Dylan threw his hands up in the air. "Okay, Teen Wolf and I will just go fuck ourselves." He joked, leaning his elbows against the table, and smiling at you.

"But really, does she just like, smell incredible and also just exude Latina goddess vibes all the time or just some of the time?" You smirked, leaning forward towards him.

Dylan shook his head and laughed. "Oh shut up."

You let him off the hook finally. "Okay, okay. In actuality, I mean, I do love Gina Rodriguez, but you were pretty spectacular in it, and the movie was really well done. I sort of cried a little at the end when you were with your family again at the hotel, and then Mark Wahlberg's character just collapses on the floor of his room with his family and they all cry. The whole thing was just a tragedy, but you all did it justice, I think.." You explained your feelings on the movie.

Dylan stared down at the food on the table in front of the two of you, and watched you smile at the waiter, silently thanking him. He was feeling bashful. It didn't matter how many movies or shows he'd make, he assumed that he would never really get comfortable receiving praise, especially from people who he knew well. "Well, thanks. That's a good review. You know, the coolest thing about that shoot was that I got to learn about this whole industry that I just knew nothing about previously. Those guys have incredibly difficult and dangerous and physically exhausting jobs, and they taught us a lot of the stuff that they do, and it was really humbling to spend time with those guys; the real guys, I mean." You wanted to respond to Dylan but you had stuffed a soup dumpling in your mouth and you couldn't chew fast enough. Dylan took a bite of one of the chicken ones, and then took the opportunity to change the subject. "Okay, you were right, these are amazing. Holy shit." He stuffed the rest in his mouth.

You covered your mouth as you laughed, trying to make sure no food shot out across the table at him. "I told you I wouldn't steer you wrong."

"So I have a confession to make too." Dylan said, after swallowing his food and taking a sip of his root beer.

"Oh?" You smirked at him. He was so handsome. He nodded, and pushed up the sleeves of his deep red plaid shirt, then moved his hands to readjust his baseball cap on his head. He always wore one in public because he didn't want to be recognized, but you always thought it was funny that he did it in Queens since literally no one ever really bothers celebrities when they see them out in Manhattan, let alone in Flushing.

"I may have bought HBO and watched two episodes of the second season of Game of Thrones while you were in Kansas." Dylan sheepishly smiled, and then broke out into full on laughter as your face devolved from shock into fake anger.

"How could you?" You brought your hand up to your chest, and pretended to be disgusted with him.

"Listen, it rained one of the days you were gone and I was so bored and I also really wanted to know what happened to Arya once Ned died, but I literally couldn't watch more than two because I felt so guilty watching without you!" He admitted.

You laughed. "It's okay, it's okay. I'll let it slide this one time." You smiled up from behind your chopsticks.

"Um.." Dylan rubbed the scruff on his chin, and struggled with getting his sentence out. "Were you planning on coming back out East this weekend?" He asked, quickly placing another soup dumpling in his mouth out of nervousness.

You grinned and nodded. "I was thinking about it but the weather is supposed to be kind of shitty, so that stinks."

"Well, if you came, and it rained, maybe we could finish the second season together...?" He proposed, and you nodded with a smirk.

"Just admit it, O'Brien. I got you hooked, and now I'm going to be stuck watching Game of Thrones with you for the rest of the summer." You pointed your chopsticks at him in a playful manner, as you teased him; going out on a limb by implying that he might want to spend the rest of the summer hanging out with you.

"Oh, as if you have anything better to do than watch Game of Thrones with me this summer." Dylan poked fun right back, but didn't dispute your comment about spending the summer with him. He reached down and shoved another chicken-stuffed soup dumpling in his mouth, his cheeks puffing out as he chewed.

You stabbed around the pork dumpling on your plate and thought about how to approach a topic that you had been wanting to talk to him about. "What are your plans for this summer?" You asked somewhat trepidatiously.

"What do you mean?" Dylan mumbled in between bites.

"I don't mean to pry, I know we've only hung out a few times, but why are you here for so long? Don't you have jobs or, like, auditions or movies you want to make or something?"

"You mean, why am I not in LA with all of my friends, instead of hiding out at my sister's beachhouse with her college friends?" Dylan rubbed his fingers through his scruff, scratching for an itch that did not exist. You had made him uncomfortable; that much you had figured out. You had picked up on his social cues pretty quickly, and the face touching meant nervous or uneasy. "Honestly?" Dylan looked up at you, and contorted his lips to the side. "Did Julia tell you anything about why I'm here?"

You nodded slowly. "At Boardy Barn, the first day I met you, she told me you had just gone through a break up." You thought you knew the details: him and Britt Robertson had dated for six years, on and off, and you assumed it just wasn't working out anymore.

Dylan laughed uncomfortably, and pushed his fingers from his beard, up into his hair, slowly dropping his hand back to massage the back of his neck. He stared down at his plate, as his elbow was still connected to the edge of the table. He glanced up at you from under his long, thick brown eyelashes. "Of course she told you. She is the worst with secrets."

"She didn't tell me anymore than that, and you don't have to either.. if you don't want." You leaned back against your chair, and folded your hands in your lap, resting them on the top of your napkin. You felt both bad for making him talk about this, and also hopeful that he would, as you were incredibly curious about what his status was. You were extra curious tonight since you still weren't positive whether or not this particular dinner and a movie was a date or not.

"No, no, it's okay. Honestly, Jules told me a little about your boyfriend from BC, so I think you'll probably get what I went throu-"

"She cheated on you?" You interrupted Dylan, suddenly leaning forward, your heart racing over the thought.

Dylan nodded slowly. "Do you know who KJ Apa is?" You shook your head. "Have you heard of that new show, Riverdale?"

"Oh yea, it's like the new craze. Is he in it?" You asked.

Dylan nodded. "He plays Archie."

The image of who he was talking about suddenly became very clear in your mind. You could see his fire-cone orange, poorly dyed hair on the promo shots you had seen in the subway, in your head. "I know who you're talking about."

Dylan sighed and went back to rubbing the stubble on his face, staring down at your hands, one rested against your chin, and the other in the crease of your arm. He liked your hands ever since he got to hold them and feel them against his skin. Just the sight of them was something nice to distract him from the distressing topic. "Well Britt, my ex, and KJ did a movie called A Dog's Purpose together in August of 2015, and they played a couple and I guess they hooked up on set a few times, but nothing came of it. I was filming season five of Teen Wolf at the time, and yea.. I don't know. So then they spent all of this time together again promoting the film before it came out, and they started a relationship. A friend of mine accidentally found out, and uh, Britt was sort of forced to tell me or have me find out from my friend, so she told me, and we broke up."

"When did you find out?" You asked, trying to ignore the sickly feeling in your stomach, as Dylan's story brought back painful memories for you as well.

"February." He replied.

You wondered if four months was enough time for him to start to get over someone that he dated for years. You doubted it, and the pit in your stomach grew larger and more uneasy. "I'm sorry. I do get what you went through, and it's horrible. It's one thing to be broken up with and hurt, it's a whole other thing to be betrayed." You shook your head and stared at the small candle flickering in the middle of the table. "Wait, isn't Riverdale based on Archie's Comics, meaning, that they will probably be at ComicCon?"

Dylan nodded slowly, a serious look resting on his normally jovial face. "Yep. I am not going to be sticking around there much that day. I just don't need that kind of bullshit in my life, you know?"

"Fuck. I don't blame you. I am so sorry, that is all just fucking awful."

Dylan pursed his lips together, and readjusted his hat back over his head. He glanced up and noticed that you were staring down at the table in between the two of you. He could tell that he had bummed you out. "It's okay. The first month sucked, but then I flew out to South Africa in March to finish filming for the last Maze Runner movie, and being around my friends and being somewhere new. It was all really helpful, so when filming was wrapping up at the end of May, I decided I didn't want to go back to Los Angeles, and Jules said I could stay with her in Montauk. That was starting to get a little boring and I was thinking about heading back to L.A., even if I did run the risk of running into one of them, but then I decided to stay." Dylan said, glancing at you from under his eyelashes, the slightest hint of a smile resting on his pink lips.

"Why's that?" You asked, oblivious that he was flirting with you.

Dylan laughed softly, that smile that shot you right through the heart every time you saw it, came back to his face finally. "Well, my sister introduced me to her friend from college, and that girl has turned out to be really smart and funny and sweet and she keeps sending me new music to listen to and new shows to watch and keeps trying to drag my ass out into the ocean to go surfing with her, and basically, in two weeks time, she has made this a fantastic summer and I've been the happiest I've been in a really long time." Dylan leaned forward on the table and lightly pressed his fingers against the back of your arm, and your heart began to race.

You rolled your lips back into your mouth, wetting them against your tongue, as you tried not to grin too hard. Your gaze went from Dylan's hand, softly caressing your skin, up to his caramel colored eyes. "Well, she sounds pretty fucking great to me, and definitely someone you should go surfing with."

Dylan laughed, and shook his head. "I have a feeling that she'll wear me down and get me back on a surfboard before the end of the summer."

"A girl can dream, right?" You smirked.

"I love the recliners. This has made my movie going experience so much more expensive and I don't even care because I love it so much. It's the ultimate in laziness." You slowly moved your hands away from each other, in front of you, as you uttered the word 'laziness'. You snickered, grinned and turned to look at Dylan as you finished speaking.

Dylan laughed and shook his head at you. "Next they're going to put full on beds in theaters and then you can pay fourteen dollars just to fall asleep halfway through the movie outside of your own home."

You laughed at Dylan's joke and adjusted in your seat to face him more. "That would be amazing, don't even joke... But in actuality though, you know what kind of sucks about these kinds of seats?" Dylan raised his eyes eyebrows and watched you look around at the seats. "You know when we were teenagers and like you brought the person you liked to the movies and, in the fancy ones at least, the armrest went up and the guy could do like the 'yawn and stretch'? Like, teenagers can't do that crap with these sorts of seats because the armrests don't go up."

"What are you talking about?" Dylan chuckled and shook his head at you.

"OH COME ON! You said a little loudly over the commercials playing on the screen before the trailers started. "You know what I'm talking about... The 'yawn and stretch'... the thing where the guy pretends to yawn and stretch and he actually puts hi-"

"Oh..." A mischievous smile broke out across Dylan's scruffy face, as he suddenly yanked at the armrest divider in between their seats, pulling it up and moving it out of the way. "...you mean this yawn..." Dylan faked a huge and obnoxiously adorable yawn, his fist pressed up against his precious turned up nose. "and stretch move?" He finished his sentence as he stretched out his arms above his head and brought his right arm down on the back of your shoulders.

You blushed furiously, but cozied up closer to him before looking up at him and cracking one final joke. "Ew. Gross.. You have cooties." You said in your best silly adolescent-mocking tone, a smirk resting on your mouth.

Dylan laughed and adjusted his baseball cap with his left hand. You could tell he was nervous. You sat in an awkward silence for a few short moments before Dylan finally spoke up again. "I'm really glad I came all the way out here for this... to hang out with you... and give you my cooties."

You threw your head back against his arm and laughed loudly. He made you feel better about your lame joke, and about your intimate pose. You rotated onto your side more and bent your knees so that they were touching his right leg and Dylan reached his left hand down, and pulled your left hand off of your lap. You watched his eyes watching his hand intertwine its fingers with yours and finally rest on his stomach. His thumb gently rubbed the back of your thumb and you rolled your lips into your mouth in an effort to not attack him with a kiss.

You finally built up the courage to speak again, feeling like hours had passed by but you had barely gotten through the Pepsi commercial that was playing on the screen, so really it had been a total of fourteen seconds or so. Your smile softened and you slowly met his gaze. "I'm really glad you came out to hang out with me too.. and that the 'yawn and stretch' still works out pretty well.."

Dylan squeezed your hand a little and you nuzzled into his side more comfortably. He pressed his tongue between his lips gently and gulped softly. "Is it cheesy if I ask if I can I kiss you again?"

Your heart practically leapt out of your chest and your soft smile widened into a full on, blinding beam of pearly white teeth. That was all you wanted to hear from him. Those kisses from the night of Julia's party were all you could think ever since they happened. You slowly nodded and watched as Dylan turned his head to the side, vigilant to not bump you in the head with the bill of his hat, and connected his lips with yours. It was a soft and sweet kiss at first. One that ended with the feeling of Dylan's smile pressed against your mouth. You reached your right hand back towards your shoulder and connected it with his right hand. You quietly breathed each other in for a few seconds.

Dylan straightened himself out and pressed his lips against yours again. Your bottom lip was tenderly pulled between his lips and you broke your left hand away from his and pulled it up to grip around the back of his neck as the kisses grew in passion and intensity. Dylan's newly free left hand snaked across his body and hooked behind the bend of your leg, pulling you slightly on top of him.

"Welcome to Regal Entertainment.... Refreshments are available in the lobby..." A booming voice startled the both of you out of your embrace, as you realized that the lights had dimmed, the advertisement for the company that owned the theater began to play, and the trailers were about to start.

Dylan watched as you pressed your slightly swollen lips together, the corners curved up into a smirk, and you dropped your hands back to your lap. He smiled back at you and leaned forward to leave a quick kiss on your cheek. You giggled just loud enough for him to hear and he swore he felt butterflies fill his chest. He kneaded his large thumb into the side of your knee and you snaked your hands over his left arm, gently brushing the thick brown hair on his arms with your fingers. You relaxed your head against his shoulder and chest and he relaxed his head on top of yours. This was bliss.

"Are you a talker during movies?" Dylan whispered down to you.

You leaned off of his body, looked up at him and contorted your face in a wishy-washy manner. "Sort of? Sometimes? It depends. Small commenter, maybe."

Dylan grinned. "Good. Me too. Now get back over here, you small commenter. I wanna see what movie I'm going to take you to see next." With that comment, and the trailer for Dunkirk beginning to play, you leaned up and pecked him on the lips.

"This one." You pointed at the screen blatantly. 

"Hell yes. I love Harry Styles." Dylan joked and you laughed and shook your head against his shoulder.

Dylan's smile spread from ear to ear and caused his eyes to slightly shut as his high and prominent cheekbones involuntarily shut his bottom lids up towards his top lids. He couldn't help but smile that big. You were holding his hand, dragging him through the crowds exiting the theater, and excitedly chattering about Spiderman. It was the cutest thing he had ever laid his eyes on.

"SUIT LADY! How fucking funny was the suit lady bit? When she was like 'activating instant kill mode' and Peter was like 'hold up, suit lady say whaaaaat?' and oh my god the scene where he's like swinging through the rooftops and he sees the guys at the halal cart and the guy on the ground is like 'do a flip, Spiderman!' and he's like, 'dope, totally.' and does it. Oh god. I loved like every second of that movie, and oh my god Michael Keaton was amazing! How insane is it that you got to work with him. Like, holy shit." She turned back to look at him as they walked back to the subway, still hand-in-hand, and realized that she had been incessantly chattering for at least five minutes without hearing him say a word. She had annoyed him into a walking coma. "Sorry... I kind of..."

"You liked it?" Dylan asked with a smirk, as you both descended the steps into the subway.

You furrowed your brows into a fake-pained smile and laughed. "YES! Oh god. I'm the worst. I really did love it. I am such a nerd. You weren't supposed to find that out yet, and I have just been rambling, and okay. I'm stopping. Shutting up now. What did YOU think?" You leaned against one of the steel support beams on the platform as you waited for the train to get to the station, and you watched as Dylan smiled and leaned forward towards you.

Suddenly, his hands were dipping underneath your y/h/c hair, his thumbs pressing against your jawline, and his lips were crashing into yours again. You brought your hands up to wrap around his muscular wrists and you leaned into the kiss. He finally broke away, but left his hands where they had been. He sighed.

"I think I was worried that you were going to think I was a huge comic book and Spiderman geek, but your 'small comments' were like, 'I wonder if Donald Glover is supposed to be Miles Morales' uncle' and 'I love how Peter has his own Jarvis' and it suddenly became one of the best times I've ever had watching a Marvel movie with someone else. You really are a huge nerd." Dylan grinned down at you and you blushed.

You leaned up, standing on your tip-toes, and pulling at his wrists, and pecked him on the lips. You heard the train come screeching to a halt and the two of you sat down on the periwinkle blue seats, your hands still connected. "Okay, so you liked my comments, but did you actually like the movie?" You asked him again.

Dylan nodded enthusiastically. "I fucking loved it. I was so glad that they didn't do another origin story again and that the cast was so young and diverse and Mike was so badass as Vulture." Dylan shifted in place, catching your attention. "You know, my biggest dream, besides become a Met, was to play Peter Parker. Like, I was Peter growing up, you know? I was this kid from New York City, who lived in an apartment and didn't come from a lot of money and was socially awkward and loved the Mets and.. also just wanted to be Spiderman.. He was my hero growing up." Dylan laughed to himself and shook his head. "And part of me was really upset that I missed out on this role, but also, like, Tom was perfect. He was such a great Peter, and honestly, he's the right age and I can't do all of those backflips and stuff - I'd break my neck or something. So, I was worried that I would be a little jealous, honestly.." Dylan made eye contact with you, and his voice got a little high when he said 'honestly', but it returned to his normal pitch immediately after. "... but I actually just fucking loved it from start to finish. I can't wait to tell Michael what I thought when I see him after comic con."

You and Dylan emerged from underground and he walked you back to your apartment building. You lived on the fourth floor in a two bedroom with your older sister and her fiancé, in a nicer part of Kew Gardens, Queens. Dylan leaned against the passenger side door of Julia's car, his hands wrapped around your waist, smiling down at you. The warm early July breeze whipped a few stray strands of your hair in front of your face, and you brought your hand up to push them aside. You then reached into your pocket and pulled out your phone. It was midnight.

"Dylan, wait, I.. I can’t let you go back to Montauk tonight. You probably won't get home until at least four, and I don't want you to f... I would feel awful if you came all the way out here to pick me up from the airport, just for you to drive home and like, die in a firey car crash because you fell asleep on the Long Island Expressway at three in the morning."

"I'll be fine. I'm not even that tired." Dylan said, regardless of the fact that he had been yawning on the subway.

You shook your head, smiled and pulled on his arms. "Nope. I cannot have your fans coming after me when you die because I let you drive home this late. You're staying here tonight."

Dylan stifled a yawn. He was tired. "You don't have to, Y/n."

"Come on." You jiggled around in your pocket for your keys, one hand on the cold and jagged metal, the other placed in his behind you. You weren't hearing protests from him, but you were still a little nervous because of his silence. You paused and looked behind you. "Only if you want to, of course."

"I am kind of tired..." Dylan smiled softly, and you had to actively think about keeping your knees from buckling at the sight.

"Is that really what you sleep in though?" You asked as you walked back into your bedroom in a tank top and polkadot pajama shorts. Dylan was sitting with his back against your wooden frame headboard, in his white t-shirt and jeans, he had only taken off his plaid shirt, hat and shoes. "You would sleep in jeans? Really?" You smirked, as you milled about your room, picking the clothes off the floor, wishing you had straightened up earlier in the week like you had planned to but never got around to.

Dylan glanced down at his denim pants and raised his eyebrows. "Okay, no, of course not, but..."

"Don't worry about. Just, get comfortable." You turned around to put clothes in your drawers, and out of the corner of your eye, in the reflection of your mirror, you saw Dylan get up, pull his socks and jeans off and get under the sheets on your queen sized bed.

You turned around after a few more seconds, and smiled at him, then turned off the light. "You have HBO here?" He asked, and you grinned and nodded. "Wanna watch an episode?"

You laughed, and handed him the remote from your bedside table, then got under the covers next to him. "Sure. Just hit that colorful button in the middle.. yea.. there." You directed him on how to get HBO to work on your Samsung SmartTV.

The theme music to Thrones began playing softly in the background and you yawned, causing your nose to crinkle and Dylan to smile at the cute new habit he noticed. "Um, you could come over here if you wanted.." He offered, laying his arm against the headboard, on top of the pillow in between the two of you.

You smiled up at him, scooted your body across the mattress and waited for him to lay down a little further on the bed and extend his arm for your to snuggle against. You rested your head against the soft fabric on his chest and your left hand gently kneaded his right shoulder. He rubbed his right hand up and down the peach fuzz on your left forearm, and wrapped his left hand around your back and side. This was not how he was expecting his night to end, but at that point in time, Dylan didn't want any of the rest of his summer to end any other way anymore. He was developing feelings and trust and a natural comfortability with you that he wasn't sure he'd feel again after Britt. He had been especially certain that he wouldn't feel that again so soon, but there it was, butterflies, happiness, and a permanent smile because he really liked you.

Dylan leaned over and whispered in your ear. "Thank you for letting me stay tonight. I really didn't want this night to end, and I'm glad it hasn't yet." He was met with silence. Dylan pursed his lips, and leaned his head down towards the right side of his chest to peek at you. You were fast asleep, breathing softly against his chest. Dylan snickered quietly to himself. "So fucking cute."

He decided to finish the episode without you, with only twenty minutes left, and then go to sleep himself. He gently pulled you against him a little tighter, taking advantage of the fact that he didn't have to feel self-conscious about whether or not you still wanted to snuggle with him, because you were asleep. He brought his right hand up, and began very softly running his long fingers through your hair. You barely stirred; you were a very sound sleeper. Dylan yawned and felt his eyes becoming heavy. He did his best to reach down by his leg to get the remote to turn the TV off, without waking you, and suddenly the room went dark. He couldn't see you anymore but he did like that he could still feel your warm breath against his shirt and he could still smell the soft scent of your vanilla-scented shampoo and conditioner. He fell asleep with a content smile on his face and his crush in his arms.

Dylan rubbed at his eyes, and then looked around the room. It was gray and cloudy, but still bright enough out for him to see that you were no where to be found. He glanced around and noticed your phone was gone from your night stand too. "The fuck..?" He contorted his mouth, as he swung his legs around the side of the mattress. "This is a reversal. They don't usually sneak out of their own house. Aren't I supposed to be the one who sneaks out? Damnit."

"Were you trying to sneak out?"

Dylan turned around to face the bedroom door and saw a very drenched you, standing in the doorway in jeans and a soaking wet sweatshirt, with coffee and a white paper bag in your hands. He smiled, and then stood up next to the bed. "No, but I kind of thought you had for a second."

"I did sneak out, technically, but just to get us breakfast and not wake you up." You smiled and lifted the items in your hands, before approaching the bed and placed them at the foot. "I didn't know what you liked so I got a plain bagel with cream cheese, a plain bagel with cream cheese toasted, a bacon egg and cheese on a plain bagel and a sausage, egg and cheese, but that's mine."

Dylan grabbed the bagel with the bacon, eggs and cheese out of the bag, and a coffee from the cardboard carrier and smiled at you. "Thank you..." He placed a peck on your cheek, and his nose brushed your wet hair. "Okay, you need to change into something dry and get back under the covers with me so I can warm you back up."

You grinned and pressed your hand against his taut stomach. "Well, I'm not going to argue with that offer. I'll be right back." You pressed a soft and short kiss against his lips, turned to grab some clean clothes and ran to the bathroom to change. When you walked back in, Dylan was lying under your sheets again, with the food and drinks resting on his bedside table. "Do you want to watch an episode or two of Thrones and then head out east?" You proposed.

"Can we watch more at my house until I have to pick Jules up from the train station?" Dylan asked, remembering it was Friday and Julia was coming out from the city that night. You agreed happily and the two of you dug into your breakfasts.

"God, I fucking, like I know everything that happens, and I still HATE Joffrey. He's such a little psycho." You mumbled, while watching the fourth episode of the second season of Game of Thrones, and snuggling back up to Dylan's chest; much more awake than the night before.

Dylan chuckled and continued watching his thumb rubbing the back of your hand, instead of what Joffrey was doing to Sansa on the screen in front of him. "Would it be weird, or like too soon, if I told you that I really like you?" Dylan blurted out, no longer able to keep his feelings inside.

You shot your head up from the TV screen, to look at him, completely shocked by his question. Your smile went from stunned to huge and happy. You shook your head, and broke your hand from his to massage your fingers into his scruffy beard. "Not too soon because I really like you too." You admitted.

"Okay, well that is good because then I can do more of this and not worry about whether you're just being nice to me or not." Dylan reached his free hand up to your chin and pressed his supple lips against yours.

You spent the rest of the episode kissing innocently, your limbs rapped up together, until the end theme played.

Let me know what you think, but do not come at me with complaints about Britt. I just, it was only for the fic. I don’t, just, okay?

@fuckwhateverfuck @l4life @ninja-stiles @lightbreaksthrough @maddie110201 @hattyohatt @stilinski-stydia-obrien @iknowisoundcrazy @leilaelizabeth @itsannastasiabruh @5secsxofamnesia @awkwarddly @completebandgeek @chivesoup @ivette29 @sunshineystilinski @twentyone-souls @obrosey-af @anonimereader06 @yaehl @theneverendingracetrack @fillthevoid-stilinski @teenwolf2424 @redstringlovers @jademorris @mrs-mitch-rapp93 @dailyburritos @lolaversuslipstick @mieczzyslaw @im-very-odd33 @amethystmerm4id @anonimereader06 @itsamberh @eccentricxem @mayahart02 @susybird @sp00der-m00n @like-a-bag-of-potatoes @kittykayrose @ellie-bee242 @nocturnalzeal @alexhmak @sumcp @girlwiththerubyslippers

[ourkinfolx]

No. 2: Alexis

How would you describe yourself in terms of identities and activism?

I am a bisexual Afro-Latina from a mixed-race family. So that basically encompasses all of what I’m into when it comes to activism. Talking about the African diaspora, showing that blackness is not a monolith, we have our culture all across the world and all different continents.  Since I’m bisexual I focus a lot on LGBT issues. I educate myself more about that now, because I do hold privilege within that community as a bisexual in a straight relationship.

How does your activism influence your work? Does it influence your day to day?

Oh definitely. So, I am a museum professional, I work at the Baltimore Museum of Industry. I’m a marketing coordinator and museum educator, so a lot of my activism I also use for the work that I do in the museums. Because museums are traditionally very very white spaces, you don’t see a lot of people who look like me working in them, especially higher up positions. With marketing, I get to control what the face of the museum looks like. When you walk into my museum, you’ll see a lot of white faces on the wall, but there are small things like the “please touch” signs in our museum have brown hands in them. When I make posters or flyers, I make sure that they feature a diversity of people.

Since my museum is kind of small, I get to work in all of the departments, work with everyone. I even get to work with exhibits right now. I’m helping with the Reframing the Narrative project where we’re focusing on incorporating more people of color into my museum. I get to help design what the exhibit looks like. So I definitely lean a lot on my identities to make sure they are represented within my museum. But not just my identities. I study up on Asian American history and industry, I study up on indigenous American history because I know what it feels like to be left out, so it’s kind of my responsibility to help open the doors for other identities and communities.

Are most of your co-workers white?

Yes.

Do you feel they contribute to the work or come to you with ideas? Or do they expect you to do it because you’re the black person?

So originally, I was leaned on a lot when I started working there because I was so open about it and they were like “oh she knows what she’s doing!”

But even though my museum is majority white, a lot of my white co-workers have been very welcoming and open to unlearning white and euro-centric museum practices. And they’ve been very open to making sure our museum is more inclusive and making sure our programming and who we are reaching out to is more diverse and that we have more equitable practices to start changing what our predecessors have done with the museum.

I will say that we’re pretty liberal people. My director’s black lives matter statement was [chef’s kiss]  beautiful

I’m sure you’ve noticed that a lot of the faces at the forefront of this movement, and others, have been black women. What are your thoughts on that role we often play?

When it comes to civil rights, human rights, when it comes to the African diaspora, black women have always been there. It’s just facts, we’ve always been in the lead. Specifically with the civil rights movement, black women were at the forefront but they were often pushed aside often overshadowed by people like MLK, Malcom X and other NAACP leaders. Black women were always there. Always doing the brunt of the work. And I feel like now, because gender norms have kind of changed, we can be more out there, we have more freedom. We have more accessibility to jobs and to platforms. That’s why it might seem like now, okay, black women are really here. Whereas back then, you know you’re a secretary or you do laundry.

Let’s talk about the George Floyd video. We’ve all seen instances like this, black men brutalized and murdered by police. When you saw this most recent video, was there anything about it that made you expect things might be different?

No. I watched video and of course it kills me every time. When you see something like that it hurts every time. It makes you mad every time. But that’s every time. That video wasn’t anything new. It wasn’t anything different than what has been happening. So I just expected it to have a twitter buzz and then die down. I had no idea that we would be on, what, week three of protests with thousands and thousands of people. Not just in every state in the United States but in different countries as well. I have no idea what made this different from the other ones, but I’m glad.

And what do you think about the global response?

I think it’s crazy. Because it connects us all together and now that we’re seeing murals and we’re seeing other people from different countries stand up for what African Americans are going through, I’m starting to also learn more about race relations in those other countries. Especially in the UK, about police brutality in London. And they’re like we have George Floyds in London. We have George Floyds in Paris. So they’re showing that this is not just an American issue, that this affects all of us. It’s sad, but it’s exciting.

Do you feel supported in your activism?

I feel supported with friends, I feel supported with my partner and my immediate family. I mentioned before that I’m mixed race. My mother is white and Afro-Peruvian and my dad is African American. On my mom’s side is usually where I get the push back. But my immediate family, they’re down for the cause. My grandmother is white and she’s like “Nah we’re not doing this. Black lives matter!” A lot of my family are educators as well. I’m glad that I have a very diverse group of supporters within my inner circle.

The response you got must have been really different before though, when not everyone was on this Black Lives Matter train, when support wasn’t as widespread. How are things different from then?

Recently I’ve had a lot more white supporters, white strangers reach out to me saying “Hey can I donate for you,” (since I’m broke) or they want to start petitions on issues that I helped inform them on. It’s been really, really cool and it’s been strange because I’ve gotten most of the blow back from black men. Because there are arguments on what fits into black lives matter.

That’s why we get Black Trans Lives matter. That’s why we say All Black Lives matter. But if you’re going to say it, you need to make sure you’re there for black women. And not just black women with looser curl patterns and lighter skin. You need to be there for darker skinned black women. You need to be there for black trans men and trans women. Or black lives that have disabilities. Because a lot of what the media is covering is just black men. A lot people think the movement is just for black men, and that’s not it. When we say black lives we don’t just mean black men or black boys. We mean anyone with melanin!

How are you sleeping lately?

I’m not sleeping. Usually I fall asleep around ten. I’m an old lady. 10 o’clock, I’m out. But recently I’ve been staying up until 2-3 in the morning. On the weekends sometimes 5 in the morning because I’m on social media, watching videos, reading articles, listening to podcasts. I’m completely immersing myself. I can’t fall asleep because it’s all I’m thinking about.

And how often do you log off?

I’m always logged in. Even when I’m working for my museum I’m logged in. We just had the supreme court rule that it was illegal to discriminate based on gender identity or sexual orientation. My job is at The Museum of Industry, we are the museum of work, so that relates to what we’re talking about. I made sure I put that article up there, I made sure that I’m making posts for them. Making sure that I’m talking about Black Lives Matter. So whether I’m working, whether I’m off the clock I’m always logged in. Even when I take breaks I’m watching documentaries with my mom. We love watching Patriot Act with Hasan Minhaj.

Alexis Ojeda-Brown is a graduate from the University of Maryland with a bachelors in English literature, History, and a certificate in African American Studies. She is a museum educator and marketing coordinator for the Baltimore Museum of Industry.  Alexis is an advocate for making museums diverse, equitable, and inclusive spaces and hopes to use her platform to encourage more Black youth to get into museum and preservation work.

To find out how to support some of her causes or just give her a tip for her time, visit kinfolx-lexi.carrd.co

[stargleeksil-blog]

Criminal Minds s03e17 In Heat review - or more aptly named, somebody please get Lynch the Bitch out of this series, I’m really starting to get pissed at Hot Stuff, and I ship Jill and Denelope all the way!

Episode 17 – In Heat

Hey guys! So let’s see what happens. There are only twenty episodes in season three, so I’m trying to get a crack on so I can move on and see what happens and not remain in the dark ages. Kay? Kay.

All righty, so the title is “In Heat”. While I seriously hope it’s implying Derek is finally gonna put the moves on Penelope and bump Lynch the Bitch out of the way, I’m also unfortunately realistic, and probably this episode will deal with a sexual crime. Not looking forward to that. Eugh.

So let’s see what happens.

Sexy club music! Yay!

Oh, hot cougar seducing hot bartender. I likey!

So Penelope coming home and the light won’t work? Uh-ho.

Wait. Lynch the Bitch did that on purpose? UGH

“Kevin. You scared me. It’s becoming your thing.”

Yeah. And that’s not a good thing to have, dude.

“Well, maybe you scare too easily.”

WHAT? You do not say that to your girlfriend.

Penelope, walk away. Just turn around, walk out the door. Or, you know what? Kick him out, it’s your apartment. Ew.

Oh, so he’s made you dinner and all of a sudden that creepiness is romantic? NO!

Baby, what’s the matter with you?

And that is not romantic, Lynch the Bitch, that is fucking creepy.

“That’s why you scare so easily. You’re so stressed.” WHAT?

Okay, someone hand this guy a mullet and have him bang his head with it so he can finally understand how to talk to a strong, powerful, working woman. I don’t like you, asshat.

Baby. Please, no. Just walk. Away. That whipped cream will disappear on his pasty cream skin, and you need to put that on someone who has mocha abs. KAY? Know anyone like that?

Oh, so Lynch the Bitch kisses Penelope (I refuse to believe she initiated that, I am in denial forever) and then we cut to the first couple making out on the boat. And oh my god, that is so steamy I think I need a change of panties.

Ew. That’s a floater.

Sweetie, get the hell out of that meeting and to Penelope’s apartment. You know where she lives, she’s being held against her will by Lynch the Bitch.

But fine, you need to make the big bucks to hold those lovely apartments for our honeymoon, I get it.

And my little yummycakes is right. I mean, tourists get robbed like hell. It could be just a robbery gone wrong.

Penelope was late? RED ALERT! RED ALERT! HOT STUFF TO THE RESCUE!

No? Shit.

And Penelope is like, let me help, so you won’t know why I’m late.

I’m not happy.

George Bernard Shaw: “There are no secrets better kept than the secrets that everybody guesses.”

Lol. I love that guy.

Reid: “Is it always this hot?”

Morgan: “Every day, all day.” XD oh honey.

“That’s not what I’m talking about.”

Hotch: “They know.” HEY!

Oh my god, I love Derek’s male instincts just checking out hotties. Oh my god.

“Oh, Morgan.”

“Derek.”

I’m dead. Time of death: I don’t care. I’ve lived to see Shemar Moore flirting.

WILL! HEY BABY!

And JJ’s like, oh my god, he’s still so cute!

I love how JJ’s like, ‘professionally’. Yeah, honey, like we all believe that.

Wait. Hold up. So they meet every week? Oh sweetie-pie! That is so romantic, my lovely!

I’m with Will. JJ, baby, you need to gather up those guts and tell the team, because A. they probably already know B. they’re your family. Please.

“I’m gonna take the skinny kid and Derek …”

This face says it all.

“Wonder how she’ll describe us.” OH ROSSI!!!!!

That’s true. Why would he take off his wedding ring for a jog? DAMN.

JJ is so sweet! Oh my goodness!

“Mi puo indicare il fegato sulla cartina?”

Kevin! Why are you so bitchy? Oh yeah, cuz you are Lynch the Bitch.

Garcia just spoke in Italian. That’s fucking hot. Don’t be awful.

Now he makes me want to puke.

Jinkies.

But why would you think Lynch is hot? Oh my god. Ew.

“Buongiorno, signor Hotchner.” XD I love her.

And she’s right into business.

Love you, lady.

“I’m sure I can have this car located in a jiff. Prego.” SO CUTE

Hey! Morgan! Why diss Garcia like that? Sure, she’s not Latina, but why you gotta be mean to baby girl? Ugh.

And the only reason I don’t have photos for the scene in the car is because that bitch Tina is with Derek in all of the shots, and I’m not about to turn on my baby girl.

So Charlie lied to Will? Oh boy.

“It’s a gay bar, Hotch.”

XD Charlie is gay. Oh boy.

Okay. That is the hottest thing they’ve ever showed on this show, excluding Shemar Moore, of course.

Why would he introduce himself as Charlie Luvet? What’s going on here?

Yummy.

So he’s targeting gay men. Damn.

Why is ‘Charlie’ being a dick to Deac? Not nice.

Wait. Did Will just publicly declare he’s crazy about JJ? That is so romantic! What is wrong with you, Jayje? Just kiss the man, already!

What? She’s breaking up with you? WHAT? Why? Why would you do that, babe? Why?

Wait. Hold up. Did Will just say that he may consider moving to Virginia if it meant keeping JJ in his life? Oh my god, that is the single most romantic thing I’ve ever heard and I’m in love with this man and I’m shipping Jill so hard. (That’s JJ / Will, if you didn’t get that)

Oh god. This is heartbreaking, what’s going on, baby?

What the fuck? He brings him out, seduces him, and beats him? And then apologizes? What the fuck?

Oh god this is sick.

“Whatever he sees in his victims he sees in himself.”

Dang, he’s just a mess.

“It’s also called the erratic, dramatic emotional cluster, an enduring pattern of inner experience and behavior that differentiates itself markedly from the expectations of the individual’s culture. It manifests itself –”

“This guy’s a sick dude.”

I love you guys so much!

“He’s got a couple of minor arrests – one for marijuana possession, one for lewd behavior, which I’m guessing is code for gay in Texas.” I LOVE THE JUDGY FACE ABOUT TEXAS AND GAY POLICY! LOVE YOU GARCIA!

My three musketeers.

I love how Derek is so committed to every case.

“Why, I know he was confused about his sexual orientation.”

“How do you mean confused?”

Yup. How?

Oh god. So this guy tried to ‘beat the gay out’ of his son? I want to barf.

And look at that stance. Who told Shemar to do that? I want to marry your filthy mind.

“And you saw Steven’s homosexuality as a failing.”

Oh boy.

“You think your son’s sexuality was a way to anger you?”

Oh my god, this guy is stupid as fuck!

Goddamn.

“I’ve been a guard for twenty years. I know a little something about disciplining somebody.” Oh dear lord.

“So, what, you thought you could beat the sexuality out of him, threatening this boy with tactics you use on hardened criminals, threatening him with his own life?” I LOVE YOU ROSSI!

“You convinced him he was worthless, contemptible for being who he was, and he believed you, so he found a way to become someone else, anyone else.”

Oh boy, that chica is loco, ese. Sorry, but seriously. The FBI tells you to slow down and wait, you wait. You don’t go ahead and start running around like headless chickens.

“Nothing is wrong with you.”

I want to kiss this cupcake.

This shouldn’t look hot. I’m sorry, I have a filthy mind, guys. I’m so dang sorry.

Wait. Is she flirting with my Hot Stuff? Uh-uh! Back off, lady.

So he takes the blame for that bitch storming in? I love you, baby. But don’t do this.

Oh, my goodness gracious. Just make out already!!!!

“You should go for him.”

Ha. I knew they knew.

“I don’t want to run anymore, not from you, and –”

“Just shut up.”

Morgan: “Well, finally.”

Prentiss: “I thought she was never gonna admit it.”

Reid: “Yeah. What it’s been, like, a year?”

Oh my goodness! I LOVE MY THREE MUSKETEERS SO MUCH!

John Churton Collins: “If we knew each other’s secrets, what comforts we should find?” ooh, that’s deep.

 Okay, so this episode was seriously important, you guys! It showed us that Kevin is a domineering asshole who just looks like he’s a dweeb but is actually trying to control Penelope, and I seriously need Derek to step in and beat the living crap out of this asshole. We learned that everyone on the BAU is okay with being gay and I love it! Also, I learned that Derek is one big flirt and I seriously need him to tone it down or I’m gonna have to do laundry daily, and I just don’t have the funds for that.

Also, learned that JJ and Will have been seeing each other on weekends in secret, and everyone of course knew about it, because they’re profilers and amazing at it, too, and it’s the cutest fucking thing.

Overall, enjoyed the episode except for the beginning, because Lynch the Bitch will always be a sore spot for me. I’m a Denelope fan all the way. Not sorry.

All right, lovelies, I must hit the shower and get to bed because, alas, I have a morning shift tomorrow and I need to earn the minimum wage here (ugh) and sell addicts coffee.

I love you guys for the amazing support you show me, and one day I hope I can repay your kindness <3 love you all!

And last, but not least, the lovely photos that didn’t make i into the post above, for your viewing pleasure: Poodle and Hot Stuff.

[whatislatinidad-blog]

Literature Expert, Nadine Presents Book #1

My first book is called Performing the US Latina and Latino Borderlands, edited by Arturo J. Aldama, et al., where editors address how Latin@s in various types of performances express cultural identity. Active in scenes that range from music, theater, dance to fashion, Latin@s have demonstrated how they believe their cultural identities are or should be perceived. What is created is a crossover between Latin American and American cultures that transcend physical boundaries. Adding to conversations that other experts will mention from performances like spoken word, I will hope to begin a discussion of how Latinidad can be creatively shown. I will speak generally on how Latin@s are using these platforms to express their identities, but please check out other experts’ posts to see more specific works from individuals. 

This book is split up into four Actos that include subsections that relate back to the main themes. Actos 1 has a theme of “performing emancipation” where the mentioned research projects show how liberation is the result of “inner work” and public acts.” One section of Acto 1 is “Body as Codex-ized Word” where scholar Diaz-Sanchez discusses pan-indigenous rites and rituals, visual aesthetics and storytelling inventions (9). The performances utilize the body to deliver messages that audiences can then witness inner dialogues that normally would be invisible. One point mentioned that stood out to me was when performer Rodriguez, attempted to re-enact a traditional danza Azteca (Aztec dance), but the audience laughs as they can see she cannot perform the dance as she is relying on embodied memory (37). What the reader can understand is that this Aztec dancer is confidently executing dance phrases that lose touch of the “true” spiritual practices of the Indigenous culture. So, the message is that even though traditional instruments are being employed, there lacks specific details of ritual dances that would’ve been used previously hence Rodriguez is criticizing modern images and performances that do the same: failing to really embody the traditional Aztec dances because it is all based on memory and performers then try to emphasize points of rituals that were never really connecting to the spirit of the dance (37).  

Acto 2 is about “Ethnographies of Performance” where examples of visual theater and audio soundtrack of the Borderlands like the “Rio Grande and Beyond” are shown. In a section for all the picture-loving individuals under Nericcio’s fifth frame, “The Hunt is on for more jobs in Laredo” there is a surprising analysis that stood out to me. Billboards are not just advertisements that we pass by while driving, they all have deeper meanings that reflect the times we live in. Laredo, a Texas town, at the time of the image, had an economy that was improving from a crisis. Economies between the border that exist between the United States and Mexico have a relationship that affects each other immensely when there is turmoil. Mexican goods become cheap when the currency values plunge, where in Laredo, Texan merchants began to struggle with their business. Laredo is one of the richest oil and gas regions in the county, yet jobs are still wanted; demonstrating that the target audience that Laredo National Bank wants is those who would be rejected (172). The Bank employs two languages, English and Spanish, catering to the different customers who would visit by also including dollar and peso exchanges. What we see here is that visuals can you tell about a town and transnational community that exists like in Laredo, Texas where Latin@s and non-Latin@s co-exist. This is a story that often is ignored. 

Acto 3 is called “Nepantla Aesthetics in the Trans/Nacional” where an analysis of the emergence of a relationship with third-space meanings between inner work, public acts, or ethnographic studies is being examined. This Acto, I will post a close paragraph analysis in the next post as I think the messages are very important to emphasize and will be discussed by the expert, Anna. Tiffany Ana Lopez writes about Josefina Lopez’s play “Real Women have Curves” that showed how production also emphasizes connections for audience to feel the messages of storylines. As the play has scenes in a garment factory, the theater itself had the audience watch in a similar heated environment so that they felt apart of the story. Showing differences between what Spanish audience versus American audiences (Hollywood) want: the Hollywood film centered the struggle of an individual while the play shows a collective body of women who struggle (300). The most important messages are often distorted in Hollywood as the film shows a break with the ideals of beauty and body image while the play includes political action needed to change the body images Latina women are unrealistically held against. I will include a close discussion of telenovela “Ugly Betty” another section in this Acto in the following post. 

Acto 4: “(De) Criminalizing Bodies: Ironies of Performance.” explores outlaw performances that seek to destroy or traumatize or enable healing for the emancipation and decolonization of the community. Humor is powerful and people often like to hear a joke to brighten their days. However, not all jokes are funny and can be stated as racist in their messaging. Jennifer Dickinson speaks about how anti-Latino immigrant humor is often portrayed in the comedies that are popular today. In response, Latino performers face the opportunity to demonstrate their craft while also facing obstacles. Latino comedians show the counternarratives to promote an pro-immigrant agenda. This subsection will discuss the work of the Latino Comedy Project, an Austin-based group. What is heard is a mixture of popular culture and political humor (421). Some performers like John Leguizamo reclaim derogatory terms like “spic” to discuss Latino stereotypes that they may face themselves and use it to criticize the dominant representations of the community. I thought it was interesting that one point made is how Latino comedians provide cultural translation that become a joke like the following:

“ A chancla is a flip flop. And is also used by Mexican mothers to beat the hell out of their kids” (423)

This is unique to Latino comedians who have to add in translations for non-audiences even when many of the messages are actually toying with cultural symbols to make a broader message against what the dominant society believes based on stereotypes. 

I will end this summary with a quote that summarizes the point of this book: 

“The struggle to performance Latinidad is literally a struggle of bodies, minds, emotions, space, and being” (19). 

Citation:

Performing the US Latina and Latino Borderlands, edited by Arturo J. Aldama, et al., Indiana University Press, 2012. ProQuest Ebook Central, https://ebookcentral.proquest.com/lib/rutgers-ebooks/detail.action docID=1025599.

[theworldaccordingtodee]

As much as I understand that you're trying to raise awareness on an issue, I, as a Latina, don't think you, a non-latina, have the right to tell me how to feel about Roni, nor do you get to judge us for not finding her stereotypical or not being outraged over something as normal as curly hair and jeans. The fact that you think her look is a stereotype when it really isn't, and when you aren't part of our culture bugs me more tbh, because you're engaging in the exact behavior you're condemning

Well Bea, I'm sorry that my perspective upset you. It wasn't meant as an insult or to offend anybody...as I've stated on so many other occasions. Also, this wasn't just a problem that I had; there's been quite a few discussions with other Latinas within fandom who do feel like it's a stereotype. Let's not forget that for 6 seasons there hasn't been any trace of Regina's Latina heritage. And I wasn't speaking for me as a Black woman; I was speaking on it as someone who has Latina nieces whom I care about very much, especially with the current American climate. Why can't I be a voice for them? They're look isn't some cool costume or accessory and I take offense to the fact that it might actually be one in this case.Plus, the way I saw Roni's look was me speaking about it from an American standpoint and how Latinas are portrayed on television and on television you tend to see a certain "kind" of Latina, and unfortunately, Roni fits that category. Talking to other POCs, particularly Latinas over the last year about Lana and Latino heritage and who gets to be called a POC, and from reading interviews from other Latina women, I've learned that the way Americans perceive Latinas is as a caricature and that isn't fair.Listen, if you like Roni's new look then that's fine and I respect that. In fact I think Lana looks cute, but looking at this through several lenses, just because I like something doesn't mean I can't be critical of it. Yes, it came off as hard and mean, but I had been sitting on a lot of my issues and feelings about shit happening in fandom, because I didn't feel comfortable, as a WOC, a Queer one at that, to say them. Why? Because I knew the kind of backlash I'd get. This fandom is pretty White bred and it's hard to not look at things through the shipper lenses of my Non White fandom peers. I've alienated myself from...pretty much a large group of people because I spoke my opinion. And it wasn't what I said it was *how* I said it. Which I find to be absurd because I've seen White women in fandom go on tangents and rants and say, way worse than I did and y'know what? They're quietly unfollowed, there's quiet talk among people in their inner circles. But me, the Queer Black girl from Alabama? I make one post that's semi rude and y'know what I get? I lose the respect of people who I thought were my friends, I get shit from twitter, and Tumblr and fucking fanfiction! I get told that I'm a bitch, and that me being a WOC has nothing to do with it, I get told that I'm doing this for attention and that all of the shit I'm getting? I deserved it because I made some White kids cry. If you're upset about what I said, that's your right to be. You're right I'm NOT Latina, but I do know what it's like to be marginalized. I do know what it's like to live in a world where people hate you because your skin is different. I do know what it's like for people to love your culture but not you. So no, I may not be Latina, but that doesn't mean that I can't stick up for fellow WOC who are upset and hurt by this show that we all love and if I'm wrong for that because I'm "not Latina", then when IS the right time to speak up for someone who doesn't look like me? If I've learned anything lately it's that if you stay silent on things that hurt other people, then you're complicit, and I don't wanna be complicit in hurting anyone. "Nobody wins when the family feuds..."-Jay Z

[melissamariadz]

*Day 3 of ? of World Peace via Inner Peace Road Trip 2019, Tue, Feb 19* . Best & Brightest “Sunset & Night Sky” felt indoors at the Grand Ole Opry last night! . Driving through the rain/clouds to Chatanooga & then Nashville I still smiled endlessly, sang & danced in the car because Life is so beautiful! Whatever the weather, you can create your sunshine if you choose! . Chattanooga was so cute, especially delish @Cashew vegan restaurant, plant-based me hit for lunch & RAD vegan/plant-based/animal ❤️ T-shirts I picked up that will surely cameo on this trip! . Best part of Chattanooga: stopping at @YacoubianTailors, family-run Clothing Dept store since 1969 from my @BostonU Bay State Rd 18 years ago 😳 roomie Ani Yacoubian’s fam! She of course on vacay in paradise now but I got an amazing photo with the Handsome Yacoubian men of the fam 80 years young John & Hovig! . Once I arrived to Music City no words describe how amazing it was to sit close to the @GrandOleOpry stage I’ve wanted to go to forever & listen to a favorite Country artist /Opry member @DustinLynch remind me the right man will soon sing “I got it good, because I got myself a good girl” & handsome, manly Opry member Trace Adkins close the show singing “Ladies Love Country Boys!” YES I do! “ . Earlier acts I saw for the 1st time included wow-could-she-jam-on-the-guitar-&-sing @LindsayEll, multi-Grammy winner & gospel singer Steven Curtis Chapman! . Post-Show backstage tour blew my mind & I got to step into the Grand Ole Opry Circle! Another treat & all look out for new Latin Country Singer & dance trend-settee (mixing Cha-Cha w/ line dancing) Dianña was on the post-show backstage tour with us & will be singing at the Opry soon & will be showing her #AndaleYeehaw dance on @Ellen later this year! Gotta support our Latinas! . I didn’t realize Music City stays amped until 3 am+ on a Tue night & great to catch live music on Broadway until well-past midnight! 🙏🏽✌🏽💃🏻🙌🏽❤️ . How much more time in Nashville? Should I ever leave?!?!? . #MelissaInnerPeaceCreatesWorldPeaceRoadTrip2019 #Grateful #HappyForYou #HappyForMe #Opry #LadiesLoveCountryBoys #Nashville #MusicCity #ProudLatina #ShesFromBoston #USA (at Grand Ole Opry) https://www.instagram.com/p/BuH-vIjAvPv/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=cs4mcha2hcic