#idk how well that will work 🙃🙃
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achilleslyre · 1 year ago
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i hate tolerating smth for so long then reaching ur breaking point before u can actually do anything to change the situation so now ur just gonna be an asshole all the time bc ur past the point of being able to just ignore all the bullshit that goes on here.
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itsallaboutbl · 4 months ago
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Doesn't matter if they're men or women. Just pick someone you can trust. - So... I can pick you?
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dazais-guardian-angel · 1 year ago
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flashback to the time Dazai's english voice actor made an armed detective agency joke about Kunikida's missing hands and accidentally prophesied the s5 finale........ Kaiji is simply too powerful
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adore-gregor · 26 days ago
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🙄🫠
#yk when i said i'm back to being active on tumblr well yeah 😅#i had to write a seminar paper for uni and it hasn't been going well because i got sick and didn't get much done#well i got an extension luckily but it still was a struggle the topic was just rly difficult to write about#i'm almost done now at least some 300 words i still have to write and then proofread and work on better formulating but yay#i should get it done today but yeah i'll manage so i'll be back when i'm done the latest tmrw#but seminar papers are for real my least favorite part of uni 😅 it's so time consuming and can be a real struggle ugh#i rather write an exam lmao#but anyway i needed to rant ://#my money got stolen 🙃😫#sometimes life just throws some shit at you ugh#like having to write this paper and not having a social life anymore isn't enougj#i don't know how it happened? i mean i don't know for sure but i can't explain it another way#like the money was in my wallet the day before yesterday and yesterday the whole day i didn't use my wallet qnd then it was gone??#maybe while i was at uni football but that's crazy it was not some public place but in a school gym lockerroom??#or maybe someone stole it from my backpack on the street idk?? but i didn't notice#but that was money i got for my birthday from my dad and aunts 😪#and i wanted to buy something nice with it and ig i will anyway but it sucks :((#it was not a little no i had 150€ in my wallet 😭 at least my credit cards are still there ig#but i realize now how stupid that probably was to carry so much money with but i thought it was safe fr#like i have lived in austria all my life and this never happened to me 😫 and it was not like i was walking around with my wallet openly#i mean i will be fine it would be a lot worse if that happened to someone who is just barely getting by but i'm still upset#and my mom told me that apparently it happened to a friend of her as well when she was in my city but like i never heard that before...#from any of my friends ... or maybe it really is that more dangerous with thieves in my uni city but like i wasn't aware#bc i mean in general austria is like a very safe country comparatively and feels like it never was on my mind#maybe it's horrible bad luck but in the future I will be careful to carry any cash with me 🙃
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yohankang · 1 year ago
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shit went down at work today and there's a chance they'll fire me 🙃
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year ago
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...
#head instructor to the TAs in the lab section i TA for: how r u guys feeling abt the workload?#me who hasnt graded anything since week 1 and spent an hr that morning filling out a patient safety plan: 🙃#listen. we r experiencing symptoms that make us shitty at our job. which is not helpful for a positive outlook#i was also experiencing horrible cramps at the time bc i lost my ibuprofen and 2 days ago i stopped the birth control in a desperate effort#to stop feeling terrible. but in this moment i feel alright. its wild to go from drastically unhappy to like lol wtf was that? anyway stop#being a bby loser. for no obvious reason. im gonna start the birth control again to see if i get depressed again or if that was just me lol#i dont think my therapist understands the depth of my executive functioning issues tho. bc im a grad student and can meet deadlines. like#let me tell u im a fucking disaster abt starting things. i will go back and forth and get nothing done forever. or i do things halfway and#make everything 30 times more difficult later bc no one else understands how my brain works#ah well. itll b fine. sometimes i just get freaked out that i wanna b better and i dont kno how to do that. so i spiral in despair a lil#ill b fine. im good at catching myself before i get too out of control. annoyingly tho i am not currently beating the bip0lar allagations#bc whatever tf is wrong with me i do probably fit the diagnostic criteria for bip0lar 2. i dont kno y that freaks me out so much. i guess#its bc it feels like something i cant just make better thru force of will and i grew up in a home that was very obsessively#health conscious to the point my dad gets anxious abt taking a single ibuprofen. so like ive been conditioned to get freaked out by#medication. literally my grandma will call me and tell me to b suspicious of doctors and to not take medicine unless absolutely necessary.#like lady u r the genetic reason i have 0cd shut the fuck up. also it feels like something that would more negatively affect how ppl think#of u than saying oh yea i get depressed or i have anxiety. like the connotation feels worse im used to just telling ppl whatever tf#my problem is. so the idea of holding something back feels weird. which annoys me bc i dont think there should b so much of a stigma. its#bullshit. anyway idk. im tired. i was trying to think of a comfort tv show with my therapist and all i could think was the terror#when im depressed i wanna watch those English mother fuckers suffer and die. i just lov that show so much. harry g00dsir my beloved. the#most me coded character to ever exist#unrelated
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cryptidapprentice · 11 months ago
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currently having an Awful Time (dropped phone in toilet) (needs to go to work tomorrow) (bus pass is on phone) (also cant check emails because of stupid 2FA connected to my phone) (really wants to cry rn)
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running-in-the-dark · 1 year ago
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I've given up on trying to sleep at night. it just does not work. I can't do it so I might as well just sleep when I get tired.
I don't have a sleep schedule, I'm tired all the time, I fall asleep all the time. so I might as well stay up all night painting (and watching Leverage)! I'm not getting shit done so I might as well do something I enjoy.
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leadmeastraylittlefairy · 9 months ago
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unenomainen · 11 months ago
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Bro did i just do a whole job interview in swedish 🧍
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krysmcscience · 22 days ago
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At long last: either an alternate explanation for or continuation of my prior comic regarding how Bill was ABSOLUTELY naked in Ford's karaoke night drawing. (Because errors in art do not exist. Artists do not make mistakes. So if you see any in this comic, No You Do Not.)
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I am so normal about these old dorks.
I'm not really clear on exactly when Bill started throwing his desperation book at Ford just like a needy ex do, but I find it extremely funny to imagine it happening literally the day of or after the makeshift funeral. Bill just gets this weird sense of 'Ford is taking steps to move on' and CANNOT FUCKING ABIDE.
I hope you enjoy all the goofy things I added to each page of Bill's sad spieling. (Everything SHOULD be readable so long as you view the full size, but I have added basically this whole little fanfic in the image descriptions, LMAO, which lays out all the little written notes and such.) Also don't ask how Bill managed to sneak that vampire pen in there. I have no idea, and honestly? I don't wanna know.
Oh, and a little bonus comic:
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Of course Bill would take it as flirting. Because between the two of them, Bill is the bigger masochist By Far. :)
Also I have continued applying The Good Place logic to any of Bill's attempts to swear. Case in point, one last bonus image, this time with a motivational line from my slapdash Theraprism OC, EV-01:
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Yes, its name is just 'love' backwards. No, I will not be taking any feedback on this. Yes, EV-01 was only ever assigned to Bill's case due to the Theraprism being desperate to make some progress in rehabilitating him. No, it did not work anywhere close to staff's expectations - Bill didn't even appreciate EV-01's matching fondness for bowties! (He claimed the fondness to be "cultural appropriation" and insisted he'd been traumatized by it.)
Anyway, if you like my stuff, reblogs are very much appreciated, and if you really really like it, perhaps consider my commissions or yeeting a teeny tiny tip my way? I am trying to recoup over 500 dollars in vet bills, ahaha... 🙃
In other news, I loved all the fun tags people added to the prior naked-karaoke comic (such as 'the hat and bow-tie stay ON during sex' and the classic '[insert keysmash here]', as well as the many amused/bewildered remarks about how I either made the bricks a piece of clothing or just straight up peeled Bill's skin off). However, I think my favorite thing by far was the several people losing their shit over the fact that I gave Bill toes. Like, excuse me? The magical talking triangle can have fingers but not toes??? Since when was that a rule????? 🤣 (Also the one person who reblogged with the cropped panel where Bill's fishnets pants are falling off to ask why Bill peed himself. Dude, I want to examine your brain...?)
Okie-dokie, I'm sick of looking at all of this stuff now and I'm off to go to work, after which I will either scribble some more goofy "Billford" comics or perhaps draw my lame human!Bill in Situations, idk yet. Maybe I'll even finally draw more than just a single other person's human!Bill...? Who knows, but I sure hope I can mix it up a little and not turn whatever I draw into a month-long fukken project. >:\
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galariangengar · 2 years ago
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💭
#wonderful… just fucking wonderful 🙃🙃🙃#remember a few days ago when I said that one school sent a financial aid offer?…#well they fucking denied me…. AGAIN!!!#what was the fucking point of sending me a financial aid offer if you’re just gonna fucking reject me again bitch?!?!?!#sorry I don’t having like a fucking 5.0 gpa and like 100 different extracurricular activities & shit#but I know my shit when it comes to medical stuff and nursing shit and whatnot!!! it’s what I’ve been working on since high school!!!!!#I know my shit and I can/will work my fucking ass off and know how to deal with patients#there’s so many nurses and people out there that deadass don’t deserve to work in this field or in it for the wrong reasons#I’ll never forget seeing this one video of nurses in the labor/delivery unit talking about shit they hate with their patients#its fucking disgusting to see nurses like this publicly and almost proudly talk shit and even discuss private cases on like tiktok#HHHHHH ok I’ll shut up now cuz I’m trying not to cry and have another mental breakdown about this#idk how I’m gonna tell my dad ‘hey I got rejected AGAIN and I’m scared you’re gonna yell at me/be disappointed again 🙃’#I know me and him already talked about this kinda stuff and have a plan and another school in mind I can apply to but…#just fucking once in my adult life CAN SOMETHING FUCKING GOOD HAPPEN TO ME?????#will be deleting this later like maybe sometime tonight or tomorrow#jazz uses curse! 💜
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going-to-ikea-for-the-fries · 8 months ago
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It's a Match! || 141 x Reader
[ Chapter 10 ] || [ Chapter 12 ]
Pairing: 141 x gn!Reader Words: 1.1K~ Summary: While overcoming recent heartbreak, you decide to join Tinder in search of a rebound. Your friends advise to just Swipe Right indiscriminately... What happens when 4 soldiers from the same squad match with you? a/n: i'm in love with gaz
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Chapter 11: Excuse me?
A DM suddenly shoots up to the top of the pile in Kyle’s Tinder DM list and his eyebrows raise when he sees your name.
It’s been a month and a half, maybe longer, since you two last matched and after the brief rejection and you having gotten with Price, his life moved on and he kind of forgot you existed.
But your sudden message whose preview starts with “hey sorry to be botheri-” intrigues him so he presses it.
you: hey sorry to be bothering u but i figured it was safe to dm u about this because between u and johnny u seemed to be the most mature one! is simon okay? he stopped replying to me like a week ago and im concerned
Kyle’s eyebrows shot up on his forehead upon reading the question.
Kyle: he’s been texting u? 🤨 you: HI! yeah he has Kyle: excuse me? 🤨🤨 Kyle: like texting texting u.  Kyle: as in you text him and he answers and u 2 chat? 😐 you: yes? 🙃 Kyle: tf kind of witchcraft did u pull on him? 🤨 Kyle: he doesnt text.  Kyle: not one of us can get more than a thumbs up reaction to our texts in the groupchat. 😑 you: he texts me! Kyle: 😫?? Kyle: jesus christ.  you: you didnt answer is he okay?? 😭😭
Kyle thought back on a reason why Ghost would suddenly, well, ghost you. But he can’t think of any… Ghost is a notoriously bad texter, it doesn’t surprise him that he went MIA…
And then it hits him.
It’s 8 A.M. in the rec room of their floor and Ghost was making tea just as Johnny was taking a seat in the couch.
Kyle oofed as Johnny hit him, throwing his legs over Kyle’s lap. “Watch it mate, fuck you’re bloody heavy!” He complained.
“AH, FUCKIN’ HELL!” Ghost cursed as he threw his hands up in the air the sound of water dripping on the floor catching his attention.
Kyle looked over to see Ghost had spilled his boiling hot water everywhere on the counter.
“You alright L.T.?” Soap asked a she lifted his head over the back of the couch to peer at Simon just like Gaz was.
“Great.” Ghost grunted as he picked up his phone from the counter, which was also dripping in water, while his other hand threw a rag onto the mess of water dripping down from the counter.
“Oh fuck… ‘s your phone dead?” Soap asked and Ghost grumbled under his breath, not quite answering the question, as he busied himself soaking up the spilled water.
Just then, Price showed up at the rec room door. “Simon, gear up. Got a briefing for a solo mission in 10.”
“Fuckin’ hell, yeah, yeah, I got it.” Ghost grunted as he cleaned the mess and then rushed out the door, leaving his mug of tea in the counter and clutching his now broken phone in his hands.
Kyle: hes fine. Kyle: he spilled water on his phone and killed it I think.  Kyle: and he got sent out before he could get it fixed. 🙃 you: oh okay good! you: thanks! you: sorry to have bothered you! 🙏 Kyle: now wait just a minute. 😤 Kyle: u need to explain how in the hell u and ghost talk.👀 you: ghost? Kyle: that’s his work name. 🤷‍♂️ you: fitting seeing as i thought he ghosted me Kyle: THAT’S THE JOKE I MADE JUST NOW TO MYSELF! 😭 you: were in sync it seems 😭 Kyle: answer the question tho. you: idk what u want me to answer with Kyle: wdym u dont know??? explain yourself. Kyle: how do you get ghost to text u???? you: idk? im funny ig Kyle: 😑 you: im sorry if thats not what u want to hear Kyle: wait Kyle: a couple weeks ago he was out all night Kyle: during morning training soap was talking about how he had a date Kyle: was he with u? 👀👀 you: soap? Kyle: johnny. Kyle: keep up cmon now. you: jeez don’t patronize me you: yes simon was with me Kyle: 👀👀👀 Kyle: i see. Kyle: tell me more. you: theres nothing to tell Kyle: thats a lie and u know it.  you: its not!!! Kyle: cmon. Kyle: u cant just meet with a bloke with a skull mask on and then say u dont have anything to tell. 😑😑 you: a skull mask?? Kyle: did he not wear a mask when he was with u? 🤨🤨 you: yes? you: a black one Kyle: with a skull print on it yeah? you: no??? 🙃 you: just black! Kyle: jesus christ. Kyle: and what? what happened? you: nothing?! Kyle: walk me thru it. you: we went out for a drink then came back to mine and watched a movie! Kyle: 🤨🤨 Kyle: and had a shag? you: NO???? Kyle: wdym no? thats what would normally happen with a bloke. you: and???? you: this is simon were talking about kyle you: nothing about him screams normal exactly 🙃 you: hes joked about being able to kill me with his bar ehands you: bare hands* Kyle: fair. Kyle: this raises more questions for me. you: what Kyle: like u would meet with a masked bloke that can kill u with his bare hands alone without protection? 🤨 you: i had protection Kyle: not a condom. you: oh 😅 you: well we met at a pub soooo  Kyle: what did u 2 do then Kyle: other than watch a ‘movie’ 🙄 you: played mario kart you: slept Kyle: as in Kyle: you SLEPT? like honk shoo honk mimimimi? you: yes🙄🙄 Kyle: im confused. you: ur confused? im fucking confused bro Kyle: wdym u SLEPT TOGETHER? 🙃 Kyle: WHAT KIND OF WITCHCRAFT IS THIS?  Kyle: wtf have u done to him Kyle: like ghost doesnt text, he sure as shit doesnt visit people, and he doesnt go on dates, he doesnt sleep next to people, im almost sure the man doesnt have feelings or emotions and only speaks in sarcasm  Kyle: how can u get that out of him?? 🤨🤨 Kyle: no one else can! you: well with that mentality you cant you: idk what to tell u you: we hit it off 🙄 Kyle: explain yourself. you: ive been explaining it!!!!! Kyle: no explain it better. Kyle: I think Im having a stroke.  you: idk how to make it clearer??? Kyle: thats it. Kyle: are you free rn?? Kyle: I need u to explain urself. 😑 you: Im at work? Kyle: whens ur lunch break? 👀 you: in 35 minutes. Kyle: do u like ramen? you: yes? Kyle: whats the closest japanese to ur job? you: Akira Kyle: meet me at Akira for lunch. Kyle: I’m buying. you: who said i want to meet up with u?? 🤨🤨 Kyle: man just get down there. Kyle: im offering to pay. you: fineeeee 🙄
Kyle quickly hopped up from his seat at his desk with a start and rushed back to his room to change out of his fatigues.
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taglist (CLOSED! not adding anyone else, sorry!): @daisychainsinknots , @bunnysdaydreams , @iite-cool , @lahniu , @pagesfalling , @tapioca-milktea1978 , @live-love-be-unique , @thelaisydazy , @littleghosthunter , @bossva , @emotion-no-hot-yes-hotel-trivago , @chamomiletealeaf , @ghosts-hoe , @kariiiel , @ltbarnes , @irregulardongyoung , @spacelia , @hayleybarnesx , @infpt-zylith , @xxshadowbabexx , @frescoisnotinthemilitary , @leeeenistop , @lucienbarkbark , @zombie-freak , @wittleespur
@severenswife , @enarien, @agoodmoviekiss , @l0lziez , @whos-fran , @greatstormcat , @openup-yourmind , @neoarchipelago , @sodavrr , @cutiecusp , @lilliumrorum , @c-nstantine , @kneelforloki , @comeonatmebruh , @codsunshine , @waiting-so-long , @captainquake42 , @gazspookiebear , @mynameismisty , @reap3erslov3 , @reaper-chan666 , @poohkie90 , @kitwithnokat , @stick-the-dumbass , @mothsdrabbles , @justanerd1 , @thesinsoflust , @thriving-n-jiving , @blckbrrybasket
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fastandcarlos · 3 months ago
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“Hey Stranger!” : ̗̀➛ Max Verstappen
summary: with your conflicting schedules, match day always clashes with race day. it means it’s been a while since you’ve seen max, until you pull a few strings 🥺
pairing: max x footballer!reader
face claim: lucy bronze
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liked by ynusername, danielricciardo and 2,493,162 others
maxverstappen1: another brilliant race here in japan, the fans are always incredible 🇯🇵 see you all next week at silverstone 🏎️
328,075 comments
username1: such an incredible race max, super job 👏🏻
ynusername: you were incredible, even if I did have to wake up at 3am to watch 😂💞
maxverstappen1: @/ynusername you didn’t have to do that sweetheart 🥺
username2: the end photo omg 😭
redbullracing: we were never in doubt in the garage, fantastic race max ❤️💙
schecoperez: at least this week you managed to make it to debrief before giving yn a call 👏🏻
username3: idk how you and yn do it on the opposite sides of the world together
landonorris: why does that last photo look like something out of a cheesy romcom??
maxverstappen1: @/landonorris it’s better to have a long distance gf than no gf at all 😂
username4: shame yn couldn’t be here to support you, I’m sure she’s so proud of you though ❤️
username5: idk how you and yn do it with all the events you miss out on for each other!
charles_leclerc: such a dedicated boyfriend!!
username6: and you absolutely know he’d be rushing back to check yn’s game after the media too 😭
carlossainz55: that last photo is one way to ruin your cold exterior image verstappen 😂
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liked by leahwilliamsonn, aitanabonmati and 428,028 others
ynusername: finishing the first half of the season with another W on the board, looking forward to a week off before kicking on to make sure we’re lifting that trophy at the end of the season ⚽️❤️💙
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username7: enjoy your week off yn…you’ve so earned it 🥺
landonorris: man utd would be a much better team to play for btw… 🙃
username8: i wonder what your plans are for your week off 🤔
maxverstappen1: you’ve been amazing so far, so proud of you 🫶🏻
username9: pls say this means we now get some yn and max content again…
alexiaputellas: our squad is so much greater for having you in it ❤️💙
username10: could not be more confident that barcelona are winning the title again this year 🏆
leahwilliamsonn: don’t forget all your friends back in england over the break 😉
username11: stay safe, we need you if we’re in with a shout of winning the league 🙏🏻
ellieroebuck_: shout out to my personal tour guide for the next seven days 😘
ynusername: @/ellieroebuck_ 🫡🫡🫡
username12: not yn and max spending their evenings cooking on ft together!!
keirawalsh: can’t wait to spend the next couple of days annoying you 😂
ynusername: @/keirawalsh I wouldn’t have it any other way!
username13: I just love how dedicated the two of them are to spending time together 🥺
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liked by mbrighty04, schecoperez and 572,038 others
ynusername: nothing like the spanish sunshine to help with a bit of rest and recovery ☀️
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username14: ngl my heart broke a little to see no max around 💔
schecoperez: max has not stopped moaning about how bitter he is that you’ve got the week off!
ynusername: @/schecoperez he gets three whole weeks off in a bit it’s not fair 😂
username15: glad to see a smile on your face girl 🥺
landonorris: it’s alright for some 😂
ynusername: @/landonorris jealousy was never a good look on you norris
username16: wondering who it was that took these photos???
maryearps: damn that spanish sun looks like it’s been treating you well 😍
username17: what I would give to live in spain and enjoy that weather on my doorstep
maxverstappen1: looks like you’re doing plenty of hard work 😬
username18: why do I get the feeling max is not impressed 😭
ona.battle: it’s been three days and I already miss you 🫶🏻
username19: poor max wishing he was there
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liked by maxfan101, lestappenoursaviour and 2,593 others
f1gossip: eagle eyed fans managed to pap the moment yn yln managed to surprise max verstappen at silverstone this weekend. one fan told us yn came up behind max, tapped his shoulder and simply said “hey stranger,” before leaping into his arms…talk about romantic 🥺
482 comments
username20: I can’t believe some of you actually thought yn wouldn’t bother with max wtf
username21: “hey stranger” sounds like a line from a movie 😭
username22: my two favourite people reunited!!!
username23: poor max who thought yn was actually enjoying her summer without him 😂
username24: all these years and they’re still surprising each other 🥺
username25: no one can convince me that these two aren’t the cutest couple on the grid
username26: keep refreshing social media in the hope that someone recorded this moment…
username27: look at that smile in the first photo omg ❤️
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liked by ynusername, landonorris and 3,955,089 others
maxverstappen1: my lucky charm here to see me through and get me to the top of that podium this weekend ☺️ best surprise ever 💞
787,392 comments
ynusername: wouldn’t have missed it for the world, so so proud of you 🫶🏻
maxverstappen1: @/ynusername you really are the best ❤️
username28: I’m so happy yn got to finally be there to see you get a race win 🥺
landonorris: I only let you win cause I knew your girlfriend was watching 😂
username29: not max calling yn his lucky charm, my heart 😭
redbullracing: congratulations on yet another p1 max 👏🏻
username30: such a good race, congratulations max!!
keirawalsh: I’ll forgive you for stealing my girl seeing as you got the win 😂
username31: bet there’s going to be some incredible celebrations tonight 🥳
username32: I can’t with how proud yn looks of him either…
oscarpiastri: reckon you could at least leave the paddock before throwing yn over your shoulder 🤔
username33: I’ve been waiting to see a post like this for so long 🥺
danielricciardo: forget the win, I was just happy to see yn again after so long!!
ynusername: @/danielricciardo secretly I only actually came to silverstone for you 😘
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liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc and 482,028 others
ynusername: reminding ourselves how nice it is to cook and eat dinner in the same room again 🥺❤️
68,392 comments
username34: I never want you two to be separated again 😭
landonorris: you’re not allowed to keep him forever btw - he needs to come back to us!
username35: I’m still not over the fact they’re finally reunited
username36: look at the smile on yn’s face, that’s definitely the max effect!
danielricciardo: I’m just glad that it was you cooking and not max 😂
ynusername: @/danielricciardo I’ve been with him long enough to know better than that 😂
username37: the holding hands ☺️☺️☺️
lewishamilton: remind me to block you two when summer break comes around so I don’t have to deal with your sickly sweet posts 😝
username38: now I remember why this is my favourite duo in the world
maxverstappen1: the best couple of days with you 💕💕
username39: a relationship like this in the future pls 🥺
charles_leclerc: do you guys ever plan on not being adorable???
username40: forever my two favourite people ❤️
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˗ˏˋ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ! ´ˎ˗
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catchmewjsn · 2 years ago
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miabebe · 8 months ago
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Where you're convenient (II)
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Scenario - Yes it was circumstances that forced these arrangements but why was it that at its breaking point, all you want to do is hold on to it?
Pairing - Husband! Seokmin × reader
Genre - smut with lots of plot, fluff fluff fluff cause there's a kid 👀, and angsty angsty pining hehe
Word Count - 11K (as usual, I apologise)
Warnings - oral (f receiving), fingering, unprotected sex (well there's babies wanted here so), riding, cum eating
A/n -  part 2 is finally here! These keep getting longer idk why 😭 I'm gonna take a small break and shift attention to my series before I return for part 3 (woozi)!
P.s all 3 parts are not related, they can be read individually, they simply share the same trope of marriage of convenience which I'm an absolute sucker for 🙃 Read Joshua's here!
The moment Seokmin’s eyes fell on the entrance of the overpriced restaurant, he knew exactly why his sister insisted on this meeting.
Sighing deeply, he parked his car in a vacant lot and ran his fingers through his untamed hair, glancing at his reflection of the mirror. There was no need to look his best for this meeting, just presentable would do - after all, he was not here to impress. Grabbing the bag you handed him earlier today, he made his way in, eyes falling on his sister and her company - a pretty woman, definitely around his age since clearly, this was yet another attempt to set him up on a date.
He greeted them with his usual sweet smile before hugging his devil of a sister, whispering a bunch of obscene words in her ear which she coolly ignored, habituated to his reaction to such meetings over time. Although he was already prepared to leave, he slid across the boxes of cupcakes you made and took a seat, pulling out his phone, while his sister raved to her friend about how you made the best cupcakes in the world.
Seokmin 17:48: Just met Minseo. Should be home in an hour. Traffic's really bad.
And then his sister began her usual business of introducing her friend to him, then him to her, then mentioning how 'surprisingly' the two of them were so similar, subtly hinting how they would be so compatible.
Seokmin rolled his eyes, familiar with this drill, listening to her blabber with a struggling, polite smile. This was quite a frequent occurrence - every now and then Minseo would bring a friend or colleague to introduce them, afraid that her useless brother would die single given how uninterested he was in dating. Today's friend was Sumi, her colleague from the first ever company she worked in, who was apparently his age, recently single, also loved pizza and working out. Barely interested in the ongoing conversation, Seokmin kept glancing at his phone time and again, relieved when it finally buzzed.
You 18:04: Okay, have fun with MinSeo, tell her I said hi!
You 18:04: Also, look at this [attachment]
It was a photo of Aera, her mouth, hands and clothes covered in a light pink frosting as she laughed at the camera both innocently and mischievously.
You 18:05: I swear to god, I can't look away from her for a second.
"Are you even listening Min-ah?
Seokmin looked up at both ladies staring at him with a tinge of annoyance and turned his phone to show them the picture that was making him smile so ridiculously. Instantly, they broke out into a series of awws and little praises making his heart swell with pride. That was his daughter after all.
"Isn't she the cutest?" Sumi looked up from his phone. "She's two and a half right?"
"Actually she's 2 years and 10 months." Seokmin took back his phone, taking another look at the love of his life. "Born in May."
"A Taurus baby?"
"Gemini." He corrected. "Last week of May."
"She must be quite the troublemaker huh?"
"You have no idea." Seokmin laughed typing a reply.
Seokmin 18:08: What have you done to my sweet angel?
"Shall we order food first?" Minseo picked the menu card. "What about pizza-"
"Not for me." Seokmin shook his head. "I'm not eating. In fact, I have to leave soon."
"Min-ah, come on, you're seeing me after so long-"
"I literally saw you last week, at mum's place."
"But it's your first time meeting Sumi, don't be rude."
Seokmin turned to her friend. "I'm sorry, I would stay longer but I haven't seen my daughter all day and I'm sure there's food at home already." He glanced at his sister before turning back. "I don't know if you know, but my wife makes really good food, she's a chef."
"A pastry chef." His sister corrected. "I mean no one makes desserts better than her but you're the better cook. "
You 18:10: Angel? She's the devil spawn, this little thing.
Seokmin 18:11: Are you calling me the devil? How dare you
"Maybe," He looked up from his phone. "But I always eat dinner made by my wife."
Minseo rolled her eyes yet again, but Sumi nodded understandingly. When the two women discussed for 20 whole minutes, finally placed an order for themselves and Sumi excused herself to the washroom, Seokmin turned to his sister.
"Why won't you give up?"
"Why won't you give in?"
"Because, everyone you try to set me up with is not my type.."
"Really?" Minseo raised an eyebrow. "What about Sumi is not your type? You two are literally the same people."
"Yeah well, did you see her nails? Clearly she loves manicures and stuff like that."
His sister blinked, lost. "And that's a problem because?"
"I have a child you idiot, I can't have those claws around her?"
"So she'll stop getting them done. That should solve your issue."
"I don't want anyone to change themselves or give up on things they like because of me."
"I'm about to kick your ass Lee Seokmin." She muttered angrily. "I have tried to set you up with all kinds of women yet no one is good enough. What do you want Min-ah?"
"What do you want? Why do you keep dragging me to these-"
"Because I want to see you happy!"
"I am happy!"
"Say what you want Seokmin, that's not a happy marriage."
He sighed. "What problem do you have with Y/n?"
"With Y/n?" She looked at him perplexed. "Not one damn thing. In fact when you leave her, I might just ask her to marry me, I love that woman so much. The question is......do you?"
Seokmin blinked, not finding the words. Love? Sure he had a crush on you a couple of years ago but to be honest, nearly everyone did. He was in his final year of culinary school when he caught sight of you at the freshers party, walking in in that tight silver dress, looking like a dream. Rumor was you already had a boyfriend so Seokmin simply introduced himself and walked away, letting that little crush of his fade over time. Soon after, he successfully graduated, got a job at a Michelin star restaurant and life was good until he met you again, almost 4 years later at an alumni party.
Now, did Seokmin still have a crush on you? He didn't know really, he didn't even have the time to sort his feelings, not when you were giving him the flirtiest eyes, hands and body moving not very decently on the dance floor and especially not when you dragged him by the collar to a nearby room and the two of you fucked for hours.
"You always go silent when I ask you this Min-ah. It's a simple yes or no question."
Minseo looked expectantly at her brother who had now diverted his attention to the notification bar and time on his phone - you had still not replied to him. Panic slightly bubbled in his chest. Was something wrong?
He quickly downed the glass of water before of him and grabbed his bag.
"I'm sorry noona, I should head home. I think Y/n needs me."
Before she could reply, he dropped a kiss on her forehead and ran out to the parking, leaving his sighing sister behind. Through the glass she watched her brother rush away in his car, wondering how many more of such set ups it would take before he admitted what he felt for you.
Though Seokmin wanted to get back home as soon as possible, with all that traffic, all he could do was wait, fingers tapping on the wheel, mind getting restless. It was not like you to take so long to reply, he knew that much. Sinking back into the car seat, he glanced out at the streets that he no longer walked down ever since he became a father. The life of leisure he once lived was no longer a possibility because now he lived only for his daughter. And you.
It wasn't a part of his life plan to become a father so young but apparently, things have their own way of panning out. He was supposed to become a famous chef, open his own chain of restaurants, establish himself as a successful businessman and retire by 45. Instead, he found himself getting a phone call from an unknown number about 2 months after that fateful night of the alumni party. It was you.
It was indeed strange that you asked to meet up at your workplace considering the two of you had made it very clear to each other that this was a one time thing, but he went regardless. Over a cup of coffee and a piece of cake you broke the news that you were pregnant and the child was his. Now Seokmin knew condoms were not 100% effective but that night the two of you had used quite a few of them, given how many rounds went down.
You told him you were going to have the child and if he wanted, he could be a part of the baby's life too. Of course he wanted to, even though this entirely threw off his life plan, of course he would be a part of his child's life, there was no question. Seokmin had grown up without the presence of a father his whole life and he knew what the felt like - there was not a chance he would let that child go through the same as well. So he told you he was there for whatever you needed and however you needed him.
The first trimester was quite uneventful. Seokmin had barely seen you after that meeting in the cafe - the two of you would just keep in touch via texts. He would check up to make sure you were eating on time and that the morning sickness wasn't too much. You would simply answer his questions and thank him. But you didn't ever ask much of him.
By your second trimester, he had moved into the building across yours so he could be near you for anything you wanted and everything you needed. He helped drive you to and from your prenatal visits, did grocery runs whenever you worked too late, carried your bags and boxes up the stairs. It was all on his own though, you still had asked for any favours.
The first thing you had ever asked of him was nearly a month later, around the 7th month of your pregnancy. In the middle of a rainy night, with a small bag slung over your shoulder, you had knocked on this door, mildly drenched and shivering. Seokmin instantly panicked even though you repeatedly assured him you were alright. The problem was your dick of an ex boyfriend, constantly knocking down your front door leaving you no choice but to take the fire escape and come here. That man had been behind you for months, insisting you take him back into your life, not taking no for an answer. His persistence had forced you to even change homes and numbers over the last year but now somehow, he had managed to find you again. You asked if you could stay here for a day or two till he stopped bothering you and Seokmin immediately agreed. He had no idea you were going through all this.
One day turned to two and two became a week. Seokmin had now began accompanying you almost everywhere, constantly keeping an eye on your surroundings and it was a miracle he hadn't landed a punch on that slime ball of an ex of yours. That man would harass and embarrass you publicly, he would turn up drunk at the doorstep and create a scene, throwing up and passing out, he would follow you to your workplace and just sit in the store hours on end. Things became exponentially worse when he found out that you and Seokmin were not in fact in a relationship, just expecting a child together - he went ballistic with his attempts to get you back.
Panic rose in Seokmins chest just thinking about those days years ago, hoping to god everything was fine at home. He glanced at his phone again as he parked his car and rushed out, bolting up the stairs, unable to wait for the lift. When he opened the door of his apartment, toys and books and things were scattered everywhere, in the middle of the living room, a bunch of disorganised chairs and sheets haphazardly thrown around.
Seokmin slowly and quietly approached the mess pushing everything aside, heart racing in his chest, thoughts plaguing his mind till he spotted you and his little girl, fast asleep in what was clearly a blanket fort, making him sigh in relief. Your phone was lying next to you and Aera was lying on top, head snuggled in your chest, raising and falling rhythmically. You looked so beautiful tired, sleeping with your hair askew and mouth slightly open - seeing the mess all around, Seokmin knew it must have been one of Aera's uncontrollably active days. He smiled at the way your arm protectively wrapped around her and how she clung onto you - watching the two of you together was always his favourite thing to do. But he knew it must hurt to carry her weight on top for so long so he slowly crouched and quietly tried to take his daughter into his arms but the moment he lifted her-
"Daddy!"
Seokmin laughed as his girl, now somehow fully awake, began excitedly moving in his arms in a little dance to welcome him home, giggling away. He stood up, hugging her back and peppering her tiny face with kisses as she proceeded to sing loudly in joy. (She truly did take after him.) He watched her amused, trying to make out what in the world she was saying, when you let out a soft groan, making him turn. As you stretched awake, yawning and sighing, eyes slowly fluttering open, flashing him a sleepy smile, Seokmin felt his heart flip in his chest.
"Why, why, why doesn't your daughter sleep Mr. Lee?"
He chuckled. "I think she takes after you Ms. L/n."
"Oh no no, I was always the obedient child in the house. Your sister told me you were the troublemaker."
"You're calling this cutie a troublemaker?" Seokmin scrunched the cheeks of his daughter earning the cutest laugh. "She looks like the best baby in the world to me."
You sighed, getting up and rubbing soft circles her tummy.
"You're always gonna be daddy's baby girl aren't you?"
You could too if you want to.
Seokmin ignored his stupid mind voice and glanced at your tired self, slightly worried. "How was your day?"
"Decent." You smiled. "I was working on orders in the morning - there was a baby shower I had to cater for in the afternoon. I swear, I stepped out into the balcony to take a call for literally 5 minutes and your 'best' baby here had lathered herself in all the frosting I made. Then I had to sit make another batch while while the sugar turned your daughter into a hyperactive destruction machine. She didn't even sleep in the afternoon and I had just managed to get her to sleep when..."
"Sorry." Seokmin gushed sheepishly. "I thought I was helping-"
"No, no that's okay, she needs to bathe and eat anyways. Better you wake her up, she gets all cranky otherwise."
Seokmin dropped a sweet kiss on his child's cheek as she continued to search for something in his ear lobe with utmost seriousness.
"How was your day? How's Minseo?"
"Oh same old, just complaining about her kids and mom, the usual." He didn't need you to know the exact details of what happened. Not when it didn't matter to him anyways. "She said she had dinner prepared at home so we didn't really eat anything."
"Oh no, you must be so hungry? I have a few orders to pack for tomorrow, let me quickly finish that up, then we can do dinner yeah?"
Seokmin nodded as you walked away to the kitchen, sleep barely shaken away.
The good thing about Seokmin's apartment was the large pantry, which when you first came to this house was merely a storeroom but over time, it had become your working station. After you had graduated, given your sweet tooth, you had traveled around, meeting different chefs, taking small courses and mastered the art of dessert making. Not only did that trip help get away from and over your ex boyfriend but it had also solidified your skill set as a pâtissier. After coming back to Seoul, an old senior and friend had contacted you, offering you a job in her bakery cafe till you worked on your own business plan and all was going well till that alumni party.
Sure, when Seokmin introduced himself to you in your freshmen year you thought he was possibly the most gorgeous person you'd ever laid your eyes on. He didn't seem too interested in you and that was fine, given you were already in a relationship with your high school boyfriend. Meeting him again, so many years later, finding out he had gotten oh so much hotter and having suffered a dry spell for so long, you had managed to somehow get into his pants for what was the best night you had ever had. You had quite literally fucked him out of your mind, and were happily moving on with your life when the news of the pregnancy hit.
You did go to work in the initial months but as the third trimester approached, it was hard to balance your well being and the strain that came from working. Your boss was kind enough to let you keep your job and that's how for the last 2 odd years, you found yourself working from home, only preparing and delivering on custom orders the shop received, allowing you to keep both your passion alive and make decent money.
"I was going to give Aera a bath-"
"Okay!"
"-but the neighbour's kids want to take her downstairs to play."
Normally, you wouldn't let her go down when it was late and dark outside but she needed to get that sugar out of her system and you needed to be alone with Seokmin for a bit. There was something you wanted to talk to him for a while now.
The giggles of your daughter faded in the background as Seokmin walked into the kitchen, pulling out a tub of something from his bag.
"I'm going to make the best ravioli you've ever had for dinner."
You smiled watching him wash up and put on an apron, getting ready to bustle away in the kitchen. You loved watching Seokmin cook - there was something so elegant and attractive about how well he navigated around while cooking, smoothly chopping and stirring away. He never let you make dinner. Though he slogged in the kitchen restaurant from day break till the evening cooking away, Seokmin never let you cook when he was home. He'd say you didn't have to worry about it when he was there. Actually, as long as he was around, you never worried about anything.
You didn't think there would come a point where Seokmin would become your partner for life but here you are. Years ago, when your ex was tormenting you, you had contemplated just moving out of the city but it was Seokmin who held your hand and asked you to face him bravely. You did, you really tried, but it didn't matter when the other man was such a terrible pain in the ass - nothing changed. It was then that Seokmin’s mother suggested that the two of you get married, hoping that would settle things once and for all but you refused.
As idealistic as that seemed, it was never your intention to bind Seokmin with you in such a permanent relationship but he didn't seem to think so. If a marriage was what it would take to keep his child safe, he was willing to do it. It took a few more months, a few more threats from your ex and a reasonable suggestion from your sister for you to finally agree to it. Within a few days the two of you were married with a set of promises said out loud and a set of them silently agreed upon
One, this would be an open marriage - two of you were free to see and be with other people and two, 3 years later, you would reassess where this relationship stood and what it's future would be.
You had agreed on this arrangement for Seokmin more than for yourself. Once you gave birth, you knew you'd be busy with your child and work, but you didn't want Seokmin to feel trapped because of one night's decision. True enough, after Aera came along, you didn't even have the time to look at another man, forget thinking about one. Sometimes you wondered if Seokmin found someone but from the intel that had reached you, it didn't seem like he had. He'd always come home immediately after work, he didn't usually go out anywhere on the weekends, his friends always complained to you that they never saw him around - Seokmin spent every breathing minute he had free with his daughter.
You glanced at the calendar hanging on the wall beside Seokmin for the nth time this month, noting each day that your wedding anniversary was approaching. It would soon be time to reevaluate your marriage with him but if you didn't find anyone and if he didn't find anyone, you wondered what he thought about your idea. One that you had been nurturing for a while now.....
Seokmin could feel your eyes burning into his back and knew you wanted to say something. By the time he walked into the kitchen you were already done with your orders which meant the last 20 minutes he spent cooking, you were simply lost in thought about something. Something Seokmin had a feeling he knew.
Ever since a month ago, when the restraining order against your ex was finally approved and the threat on you had been lifted, Seokmin had a gnawing feeling about the future of this relationship. You were not interested in a marriage to begin with, now you didn't have a reason to continue in it either. That could only mean one thing - you were going to leave him. The time had come.
Seokmin held his breath as you approached him,
"Seokmin, I was thinking...."
Please don't say you wanna leave me. Please don't say it. Please don't say it.
"It's been almost 3 years since we've gotten married and had Aera. She's not all grown up yet, but she's grown up quite a bit and....."
Please. Please. Please.
"I was thinking maybe it's time we...."
Seokmin took a deep breath preparing himself. This was it.
"Get a cat or something?"
Seokmin turned to you surprised. "A what?"
"A cat, or a dog if you prefer that, any pet actually."
"So you're not leaving me?"
"Huh?"
"I mean" Seokmin mentally smacked himself, rambling to his defence. "You're.... leaving that decision to me? To get a pet? Why? I mean why a pet, I mean why so suddenly?"
You sighed, leaning against the counter. "Aera constantly needs me around because she gets bored. She's young, she needs company and I'm hoping a pet can give her that? I mean obviously the better option would be if we.... I mean if she....."
Seokmin looked at you confused. "If she?"
Well, fingers crossed, here we go.
"I don't know, could have a sibling? Kids need company to grow up and I think it would be nice if Aera could have a little brother or sister....."
Seokmin stared at you, his expression unreadable before his voice softened, leaving him uncertain. "Do you really want that? Another child?"
"I think I'm ready for another one?..... if you want one that is." You add quickly. "I don't want you to feel compelled or anything. We can still just get a pet-"
"No..." Seokmin shook his head, clearing his throat before continuing. "I don't mind. I don't mind having another child. It's just....I don't know how complicated the adoption process is-"
"Oh." You scratched the back of your neck. This conversation was a lot harder than you had anticipated. "I wasn't thinking about adoption actually..... I mean it's great and everything but I was thinking more of a child of my own..... our child."
Seokmin blinked rapidly. "O-ours?"
"I mean we already have one together, I think it'll be a lot less complicated if I were to have another one that.....you be the father?" 
.
.
.
That would not make anything less complicated.
"Your silence is scaring me Seokmin. There's no compulsion, it's only if you want. I might be the one giving birth but your preference matters too. If you don't want this then we'll just forget this conversation ever happened."
It was ridiculous you thought he might not want a future, a bigger family with you when he had been dreaming of this for the last 3 years.
"I love Aera more than anything in this world. If I could have another child that's part me, especially if it'll make Aera happy, of course I'd want that. It's just...."
"What?"
"How...." He refused to meet your questioning eyes. "How are you and supposed to.....you know?"
"Oh." Of course there would be a discussion about the process and of course you're flushed a violent shade of pink. "I uh looked into that, there's a few fertility clinics here that do a procedure called IUI, intrauterine insemination or something like that, basically it's an artificial process of.....sex?"
"Ah....." He nods slowly. "That sounds-"
You wanted to know what he's thinking, you wanted to know what he wanted but the doorbell rang, pulling you away from the conversation. Knowing the delivery person was here for today's orders you quickly excused yourself and turned your attention to your work, bringing out the orders, taking them down to load the van. By the time you're done and ready to listen to him again, Seokmin has already finished up in the kitchen and has his eyes glued to his phone.
He didn't acknowledge your presence, which is rather odd because Seokmin is always so reactive to you. Realising that he was perhaps not comfortable or in a disagreement with the discussion, you decided to end it and not being it up anymore. Instead, you resorted to cleaning up the mess in the living room, pointlessly might I add, for within minutes, your daughter came barging in, done with her playtime, ready to make a mess again. Before she could topple over the box of toys, Seokmin appeared out of nowhere, swooping her into this arms, protecting your just cleaned zone. He flashed you a smile, continuing to play a game of Aera-plane with her as you hugged your knees and watched them.
Seokmin was a great father and that was the reason you wanted to have another child with him. That and the fact that he was also a great person - one could scour the whole earth and not find a man even half as good as him. Though you had entered this marriage with the idea that it could end anytime, with each passing day, that turned into a strange fear - a fear of him leaving you, especially now that you and Aera were no longer in danger. When even your marriage could not keep your ex away from you, Seokmin decided to take things in a legal direction to finally get him out of the way. Now that all of that was successfully done, the number of things binding this marriage had reduced.
When you discussed the idea of having another baby with your sister, she asked if this was an attempt to add to the list of reasons keeping this marriage together. Oh hell no. If anything it was the exact opposite. Having another child with Seokmin would only lead to one thing - you falling in love with him all over again and him not feeling the same for you yet again. It would make ending this relationship, whenever the time came for it, that much harder. But you knew for Aera this decision made sense - it was only for her sake.
Seokmin and Aera had now switched to the game of Aera-train, the two of them crawling all around the space on their knees, making you laugh at their antics. You grabbed your little girl and pulled her into your lap, smothering her cute face with kisses as she wriggled in your grip. Exhausted, Seokmin lied down beside you, mouthing a thank you.
"How much more playtime is it going to take before you burn all that sugar missy?"
"Hide and seek!" Aera clapped, still not understanding how exhausted the two of you were. "You and daddy hide, I count."
"Aera, you need to shower-"
Not listening, she slipped out of your lap, plastering herself against at wall, closing her eyes.
"One, two-"
"Sweetheart-"
"Seven, ten, twelve-"
Seokmin looked up. "Who the hell is teaching her numbers?"
"Thirty, forty-"
Laughing you quickly pulled Seokmin to his feet, the two of your scrambling to find a place to hide and in the hurry, settling in the tiny gap between the closet and the bathroom, bodies pressed against each other. As the laughter faded, you realised just how close you were, faces inches apart, breath held and heart racing.
Hearts.
With your hands pressed against his pecs, you could feel his racing too.
"Should have hidden in different places huh" Seokmin whispered, earning a short nod from you.
"It's too late. We're stuck, I guess."
Seokmin couldn't tell what exactly you were talking about, somehow it's different. You gulped the phantom lump in your throat, trying to look away but there's only so much you could look at around you. When you looked at him again, he was lost in thought.
"What are you thinking?"
"I uh." Seokmin cleared his throat. "I was reading up about this Intra- thing."
Oh. So the conversation wasn't done. "Uh huh."
"It's expensive."
"Yeah it is...." You had already done all the research for it of course. "Which sucks because it doesn't have a very high chance of success either."
"Not to mention, it requires many tests and appointments."
"Yeah, it would interrupt with both our work schedules too."
"Exactly.....so I'm not sure if it's really the best option for us?"
You looked at him straight in the eye. What was going on in his head? Why was a completely wild thought entering your head?
You nodded slowly. "Maybe we should look into the alternatives. Try and do a little more research?"
"And find an option that's affordable, efficient, and not very time consuming."
"That would be ideal.....I wonder what that could be."
Both of you knew what it could be. Both of you knew exactly what it could be.
"The only way I can think of is," You tried not to let your voice shake. "The way everyone usually does this...."
Seokmin frowned, "There are other ways?"
How could a man this fine be this stupid?
"The way we already made a child Seokmin."
Just the memory of that night sends blood rushing down Seokmin’s body. That was not an event of loving baby making.
"You want to do t-that again?"
Your stomach literally wanted to hurl its contents. "Do you?"
"I mean," He could feel the sweat drip down the groove of his back. "If that's the best way to have another child. It does seem like the practical, logical, reasonable choice."
"Yeah..." You met his eyes, hoping to god he could tell you were lying. "That's the only reason why...."
The thick, unresolved tension makes you shiver, prompting you to shift in the space, and Seokmin's arms immediately grabbed you at the waist to keep you steady - he was terrified that the secret in his pants would expose him for what he truly was.....absolutely and fatally, gone for you.
If you had ever given him even the slightest indication that you wanted him, Seokmin knew for a fact that he would have given you a whole lot of babies by now - there was nothing more he wanted than a life and a family with you. But you only ever smiled at him sweetly, never letting on anything further and Seokmin was okay with that too. He was okay with whatever you wanted. Now you wanted him to put another baby in you and he had no idea how he was going to stay sane doing that. Or after that.
"Speaking of which...." You pulled away from him, looking concerned. "Where's the child we already made?"
It had to have been a while by now and Aera was usually much better than this at hide and seek, making the two of you panic and rush out of your hiding space, calling out to her. In less than a minute, Seokmin found her curled up in the couch fast asleep, snoring away.
You groaned. "She hasn't showered or eaten-"
"Shh, it's okay." Seokmin crouched beside her, attempting to carry her to her bed. "We can just-"
"Caught you!"
Much to Seokmin's disappointment, your daughter jumped out of the couch, kicking her feet, ecstatic that she had him fooled. You covered your mouth so Seokmin could not see you struggling to hold back your laughter as Aera ran around chanting, caught you, caught you.
"Well isn't she a smartass." You noted, trying to soothe his annoyance.
"Yeah, we need to stop letting her hang out with Yoon Jeonghan." He muttered as he picked up his running daughter, seating her on the side of his hip, squeezing her cheeks. "And I caught you so now playtime is over. It's shower time, you little pig."
Aera whined, trying to reach for you to save her and you stepped back. "No, no, you've done enough today. You've to sleep soon-"
"Not sleepy." She groaned, snuggling her head into Seokmin’s neck, as he walked away, shaking his head.
"You're not gonna let mommy and daddy sleep tonight are you?"
You froze in the middle of the hall hearing his words.
Tonight?
You were not really sure what came over you when you suggested having sex again to make another baby. Maybe it was the proximity of the space or the fact that he was already so on board with the idea or just because you've been wanting to jump this man for 3 years now. You don't really know. You didn't know how you were even going to sleep with him just one more time. Or how to handle things after that. Maybe this was a terrible idea.
Of course it was a terrible idea. And it was only further proven when you grabbed Aera's night clothes and walked into the bathroom to find both father and daughter settled in the bathtub, engaged in a waterfight, making you raise your eye brows in question.
"She put water all over me!" Seokmin justified as Aera covered her face in soap bubbles, hiding from you. "It's not my fault, she insisted I get in with her."
Yes but why did he have to take his shirt off for that? And why did your eyes have to follow those little rivets of water running down his bicep and chest? You tore your gaze away from him and quickly pulled your child out of the tub, and the moment you set her down, she giggled and bolted, making you sigh.
"I'm banning sugar in this house." Seokmin laughed.
"She usually gets sleepy after a meal." You threw him a towel too and looked away as he caught it. "Shouldn't disturb us too much tonight."
Seokmin stared at you as you left. Tonight?
You wanted to do this tonight? Hell no. He needed time. He needed to convince himself to not let this one time raises his hopes, to not let himself fall more miserably in love with you. How was he ever going to do that? Everything you did only made him that much more whipped for you. Even now, after he washed himself up and walked out, he saw you softly drying Aera's hair, singing her favourite song, and leaned against the door frame, smiling fondly. Just the thought of another child, part you part him, running across this space made his heart swell with joy. He really wanted that.
When you meet his eye and smiled, he returned it, ignoring his racing heart and walked off to heat the sauces for dinner - a non spicy one for Aera and another spicy one for the two of you. Your eyes followed him, noticing that he had donned a new pair of grey sweatpants which were hanging low on his hips, coupled with a white tank top that was doing a terrible job of hiding his pecs. God this man wanted to end you.
By the time you put Aera in her baby chair, he had already set everything on the table and true to his word it is the best damn ravioli in the world.  You told him that and that was all the conversation that took place - dinner was unusually silent. Maybe because the both of you had the same set of thoughts running through your minds, both apprehensive about what would go down in the coming few hours. Even Aera had noticed the silence, her head turning between the two of you, her expression confused all through dinner. Yawning, she watched her parents awkwardly move around each other in the kitchen, even more polite and formal than they usually were as they cleaned it up.
You left Seokmin to put Aera to sleep as you headed to the shower to wash up for the night. Staring at the mirror, you stripped out of your clothes, observing everything that had changed over the last three years - you hadn't really cared for the post pregnancy effects on your body but somehow today you were feeling conscious. Taking a deep breath you convinced yourself that it was fine - that this was a one time thing anyways, that this was just to procreate, nothing else. Still, you quickly shaved yourself, used your best smelling soap and wore a new night suit - a pink one, with tiny flowers all over the shirt and shorts.
By the time you returned, Seokmin had already put Aera to sleep and settled in front of the TV, ready to play the next episode of masterchef, the one show the two of you being professionals thoroughly enjoyed. You wondered if you has misread his statement and had unnecessarily readied yourself for tonight and contemplated changing into something different when Seokmin sensed your presence behind him and asked you to hurry up. Biting your lip out of embarrassment, you walked over and settled down on the other end of the couch where you usually sat, not noticing the way his eyes trailed down your body before gulping and looking away.
"You're wearing a new night suit." He observed, avoiding mentioning that he also noticed you smelt different than usual - sweeter, more addicting.
"You're wearing a new track pant too." You added so it didn't seem like you were the only one who was prepared for tonight.
"I.... didn't really notice. Just grabbed the first thing I could find and..." Lies. Pure lies. Seokmin deliberately wore the most loose sweatpants he could find hoping to god it would hide the raging boner he was housing between his legs. Even though he had already jerked off prior to showering to avoid being caught, he knew just the thought of what might happen tonight was enough to bring it back and sure enough, just your scent was enough to do that. He pulled a pillow onto his lap, starting the episode to divert the topic.
As the show continued, the two of you did your usual drill of discussing the recipes, how you'd do it differently and what he'd change to improve it. The thought hadn't stopped running in the back of your mind though, about whether tonight was indeed the night. About who was going to bring it up, how you were going to do....it.
"That guy, he's got a great future as a pâtissier." Seokmin pointed at the screen. "If he ever opens a shop, I bet his dessert will be some of the most in demand in the city." He turned to you smiling. "Unless you enter the business. Then nobody stands a chance."
You laughed a little sadder than you intended to. "Having my own business feels like a once upon a dream now. With Aera now, I'm not sure how I can handle a whole business by myself-"
"Of course you won't be by yourself. I'll be there, with you, for you." He tilted his head. "Always."
"You've always wanted to have a restaurant of your own too. What about your dream?"
"I'm already working in one of the best restaurants in the city. I'm living half of it already. I wish you could live yours too."
How did he always place you before him? Why was he always so good to you?
You turned to face him, leaning against the armrest. "What if we both had one dream? We could open a small business of our own which could feature both my desserts and your food."
"That would work." Seokmin nodded. "But it would require an extensive kitchen, we both need a ton of very different equipment, a lot more investment and time on our hands too. I mean if both of us are busy, with not fixed working hours, who'll take care of the kid?" He paused for a moment before reminding himself and you. "Kids."
Your heart felt like it was in your mouth.
"If they're of school going age, it shouldn't be so hard to handle should it?"
He mirrored your posture, more interested in the prospect now that it seemed possible and you continued.
"I wanted to have my own shop by the time I was 30, which means we have another 6 years for that. Aera will start going to school when she's 5, so there's another 2 years for that."
"Which means if we want our second child to also be of school going age by that time then we should have one by....." Seokmin did the math on his fingers. "Early next year."
You nodded, doing math of your own. "Given it will take 9 months to get one out, it means I have to get pregnant by latest...."
"March." Seokmin concluded, staring at his hands. "Which is this month."
Fuck.
"And given the best time to get pregnant is when I'm most fertile and that's..." You glanced at the date on your phone screen and looked up at him just as he lifted his head. "Now."
The two of you stared at each other in the silence as the end credits of the episode rolled on the screen, the next one waiting to be played.
"Is..." Seokmin took a deep breath. "Is that the future you really want? Running a business together, having 2 kids.... us?"
You really really really wanted that.
You nodded slowly. "If you want it too."
Seokmin took a whole minute to stare at the floor before turning off the TV, submerging the two of you in the dimness of the night lights.
"I do." He tossed the remote aside, slowly meeting your eye. "So, we do this.... right now?"
You glanced around the house. "Well, we are done for the day. All we have left to do is head to bed....."
Fuck, fuck, fuck, this was really happening?
"Wait," Seokmin panicked. "I don't have any condoms, I'll need to buy-."
"Lee Seokmin."
Oh no. "Yeah?" Had he messed up already? Did you not want to any more?
"We're trying to have a baby."
"I know....." and when the realisation hit, Seokmin felt all the blood leave his brain and shoot straight to his dick.
"So I..... so we're....I'm gonna do this raw?"
You looked at him, just a little amused. "That's kinda how getting pregnant works."
"What if you don't get pregnant?"
"Considering I got pregnant even when we did it with condoms, I don't know if that's going to be such a huge problem."
"Things don't always work out the same right? What if you don't get pregnant?"
"Then....we're going to have to do this till I get pregnant."
"This as in I...." Seokmin held his breath. "We have sex raw and...."
Your stomach flipped inside you. "And you come inside me, yes"
"I'm gonna fucking die." He muttered under his breath.
"Huh?"
He looked at your confused face, having not heard him. If you were going to let him re-live this, you deserved it too.
"Well, we have to do this right."
"What right?"
Seokmin ran his hand through his hair knowing he was digging his own grave with this.
"Come here." He tossed the pillow aside and held his hand out, pulling you closer as you took it, guiding you to straddle his lap. Both of you let out a soft groan as you felt his hard length under you and he could feel how soaked you were, through both your shorts and his pants.
"I know we're doing this to get you pregnant but when was the last time you...." slept with someone.
"With you." You confessed. "3 years ago."
Seokmin nodded slowly. "Then it's only right I make sure you feel good."
"What about you?" You stared at his collar bone instead, absentmindedly playing with the fabric of his tank top, wondering what the answer would be. Dreading what it would be.
"With you."
You looked up a little surprised. "You didn't see anyone else? In 3 years?"
"You didn't either."
"I didn't have the time."
"And I didn't have the need." He looked at you so earnestly, you wanted to bury this man in you and never let him go. "I'm happy with my life. I'm happy with Aera, I'm...." He smiled softly. "I'm happy with you. I'm not seeking anything else."
You cupped his cheek, running your thumb across the bone. How did you get so lucky?
"Seokmin." He hummed as you let your hands wrap around his neck. "Hurry up and put a baby inside me."
Groaning, he hooked his hands under your thighs, lifting you into his arms with surprising ease. Moving to the room with soft footfall and gently dropping you onto the bed, he watched as looked at him, pupils blown, reminding him of that night all those years ago. Fuck he really wanted to be inside you.
"Move back." He tapped your leg, clambering on the bed slowly as you obeyed, scooting behind, letting him slide his fingers between the elastic of your shorts. "Up."
As you raised your hips, he pulled down both your shorts and your panties in one go, leaving you feeling both strangely exposed and admired.
"You didn't have to." He muttered and you know he's talking about you shaving as he ran his hands up and down your thighs softly, before meeting your eye. "You're unbelievably beautiful, no matter what." A shiver ran down your spine as he leaned to drop a small kiss on your belly.
"Seokmin please..." You whined, pulling him up, unable to take the wait anymore. "Please just...."
"You don't have to beg sweetheart." He dropped another kiss on your forehead, then your jaw. "Let me make you feel good first, then I'll fill you up." His finger slipped between your soaked folds. "....and then again, just to be sure."
You let out the most unholy moan as his words shot straight to your core and his fingers easily found your clit, drawing soft circles, driving you insane in all ways possible. Seokmin looked at you with the softest eyes, laced with a hint of undeniable desire, like he was craving you. "Is it okay if I go down on you?"
Okay? It took all the sanity left in you to nod slowly, like you weren't eagerly throbbing just at the thought of it.
As you propped yourself on your elbows, he slowly slid down between your legs, pulling them over this shoulders, holding back a groan at the sight of the wet mess you'd made - you were dripping and he revelled in it. Eyes still locked with yours, his tongue ran up your folds, making you grip the sheets below, mouth falling open in a not so silent sigh. Fuck you hadn't been touched properly in so long and the fact that it was Seokmin again of all people was making it so much better. You'd been wanting him for way too long now.
"You need to keep it down baby." It took everything in you to turn the moan that left you into a whimper. How on earth were you supposed to that when he was saying such things??? "Our daughter is asleep next door."
You nod hurriedly, lacing your hand through his thick hair, as he went down on your again, smiling against your skin. He knew you needed him, badly, and God he wanted you so much too, he wanted you in entirely.
His nose brushed against your clit, making you almost writhe at the overstimulation, stopped only by the tight grip of his hands around your thighs. Unable to grab much of the sheets with your free hand, you slid it under your shirt, grabbing a boob, squeezing it pathetically as Seokmin watched you, nearly cumming in his pants. Maybe one day he would admit this out loud, but the first year after Aera was born, watching you feed her with your breasts spilling out of your bra always drove him certifiably insane. As pathetic as it sounded, he was jealous of his months old daughter but now..... Seokmin slid his hand up your body, feeling how perfectly your free breast filled his hand, the moan he let go against your clit vibrating through your body, pulling out the sexiest gasp he'd ever heard.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, you were going to be the end of him.
"More." You moaned, pushing your hips up, desperate to be filled. "Seokmin, just a little more-"
And that's when letting go his ministrations on your boob, he brought his hand back down to your entrance, pushing a finger in. And then another. And God, though you were throbbing and practically dying to be filled, the intrusion sent the pain of the stretch shooting up you, making you wince and grab all you had your hands on a lot tighter. Sensing your discomfort, Seokmin stopped immediately, raising himself up, his face hovering over yours, concerned.
"Did I hurt you?" He hadn't touched you in so long, honestly he had no idea how to touch you either - what you liked, what you wanted, he didn't have a clue. He'll learn, he swears if you let him, he'd memorise every small detail, every single sign.
"Just...." You panted, feeling the pain ebb into pleasure. "No, no, you didn't, please don't stop."
Obeying, Seokmin instantly began pumping his fingers, still watching you closely. Under his gaze you felt so exposed, like if he looked a little deeper into your eyes he would see the unbelievable amount of love you had for him. Would that be such a bad thing though?.....
Fisting the material of his tank top, you pulled him down, pressing your forehead against his, letting your moans spill right into his ears. Chest swelling with pride, Seokmin picked up the pace, alternating between scissoring you open and pushing his fingers knuckle deep. Lord why was he so good at this?
Seokmin watched as your breaths got shallow and quick, knowing you were nearly there and brushed his thumb over your clit with just enough pressure to push you over the edge. Back arching off the bed, you clenched around him, feeling wave after wave of pleasure erupt across your being as though every nerve in your body was set on fire. Seokmin stopped but did not pull out, eyes fixed on the way you were a panting mess under him, still struggling to ground yourself.
"That...." You focused your vision on him, a slight smile dancing your lips. "That was fucking good."
"Hmm language." Seokmin laughed, finally and unfortunately pulling his fingers out leaving you empty and wanting. You turned to him as he buried his elbow into the mattress beside your face, propping his head on his hand, glancing down at you. You looked at him and he looked at you, blinking slowly, letting so many unsaid things pass in the silence. Bringing your hand up, you traced the outline of his features with a strange sadness that when all this was over there was going to be distance between the two of you again.
Seokmin needed you to stop that. He needed you stop looking at him, to stop touching him like that, there was only so much he could control himself. He knew he wouldn't get this chance over and over again and he wanted to make it count as much as possible. For you and for him.
"Didn't actually get to eat you out." He muttered in your ear, running his fingers between folds, gathering your release, spreading it around your throbbing hole. "Wanna make you come on my tongue."
To his momentary disappointment, you shook your head. "Some other time." What? "Right now I need you to get inside me."
"Just one-"
He stuttered to a stop when you ran your hand down his torso, palming his erection, it's thickness literally making you salivate. God you wanted him in your mouth so bad but you needed him inside you a lot more desperately. You had slept with him him before, you knew he felt like heaven and you had waited long enough.
"Seokmin please." You squeezed his length, earning a low growl from him. "I want that baby. I really want it." When he moved, hovering over you once again, palms planted beside you, you didn't even realise the words that left you. "I really want you."
Seokmins eyes widened, processing your words, but that was before you clawed the material of his tank top on his back, making him sit up and strip out if it in a flash. He didn't have it in him to get out of the bed and step put of his track pants, opting to pull his length out of them instead, stroking it, spreading his precum all over it. He watched your eyes fixed on his movements, mouth slight open, before you blinked up at him, sighing like you couldn't wait. Mirroring your desperation, Seokmin slowly pushed himself into you, slipping in with a satisfying ease, bottoming out with a groan. Your nails raked his bare back, struggling to ground yourself as he filled that emptiness in you oh so well.
"Move." You moaned, adding a please at the end as though he wouldn't happily bury himself in you again and again. Though he needed a minute. He needed to memorise the feeling of you so warm and tight around him. Fuck you were a dream.
When you whimpered his name again he finally started moving, pulling back a little and pushing himself all the way in again and again. You slid your hands up, hooking them onto his shoulders, feeling every bit of him inside you, walls throbbing with every drag against it. It took everything in Seokmin to not empty himself entirely in you when you clenched around him, slowly approaching your high.
"A little longer." He pleaded. He didn't want this to end yet. "Hang in there a little longer for me beautiful. Come with me."
Then maybe he should have shut his mouth. His words had your heart racing as you felt that familiar build up in you, the one that has your toes curling. Seokmin knew you were going to come soon with the way your kept fluttering around him, squeezing and releasing him in a way that was testing his sanity.
"Shit." He muttered, burying his face in the crook of your neck and pulling your leg, guiding it towards his waist, making you wrap both of them around him, his length reaching spots you didn't even know were possible. It only took a few more strokes of increasing speed before you felt that knot tightening in you rapidly unravel, pushing wave after wave of please coursing through your body, literally blinding you for a minute there.
By the time you regained your composure Seokmin was still in the same position, buried deep inside you, his breath softly caressing the skin of your neck, face hidden from you. You slowly ran your hands up and down his back, letting him know you were okay. In fact you were better than okay, something told you if he fucked you a little longer you would fall apart around him all over again.
"Go on." You tightened your legs around his waist, feeling how he was still so painfully hard inside you. "Do it Seokmin, come inside me."
To your surprise, you felt him sigh, as he attempted to pull out but remained unsuccessful given the way you had locked him against you.
"What's wrong?" You could feel your heart thump in your chest at his uncertainty.
"Can I be honest with you?"
Oh no. "Of course."
Please don't end this.
"I....."
Please don't say you don't want this.
"I don't want you to get pregnant again."
The way you immediately let him go makes him quickly pull up, his eyes meeting yours which look devastated. Was all he wanted just sex? 
"Yet!" He added hurriedly, panicking at your misinterpretation. "I don't want you to get pregnant again yet. Not that I don't want to have another child with you, God no, there's nothing I want more, just....." He gulped looking away. "Not yet."
His words don't offer you much comfort.
"Why not?" You whispered, terrified of where this conversation was going. "I thought we both thought the timing was right...."
"It is. Its absolutely right. It makes absolute sense. It's just..." Did us making this future together not make sense? "I don't know what this is going to make you think of me but I can't keep pretending anymore. It's going to sound incredibly selfish of me but...."
Please please please don't say you don't want me anymore.
"I want you." You looked at him surprised. "I want you entirely. I don't want you to just be the mother of my children, I want you to be my woman. Mine." He sighed, refusing to meet your eye, terrified to learn what you think of him. "If you get pregnant now, it'll be another few months of dealing with the pregnancy, then the baby and I love the thought of that, god I really do, but a part of me just wants you to myself for a while. To have you as my wife, as a partner, to make love to you again and again and-"
"Wait." You stopped him, unable to take the weight of his words. Did this mean he.... "Look at me." You held his face in both your hands, forcing him to meet your eyes. God, if only you both had just a little more courage, this could've happened years ago. But clearly, it was still not too late.
"Seokmin."
"Hmm."
.
.
.
.
"I love you."
Your husband's eyes widened with a whole range of emotions. "Y-you do?"
"Fuck Seokmin, I love you so much. I've been in love with you for so long. How could I not? There's not a thing about you that doesn't make my soul crave for you. I just thought I was a burden, a responsibility you had no choice but to fulfill-"
"No choice?" Seokmin looked at you incredulously. "You are who I would pick over and over and over again, till my last breath, God I love you so much it drives me insane-"
Before he can say anything more you pulled him down into what you realised was your first ever kiss, and he immediately kissed you back, like he wanted this more than he needed to breathe. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer like you couldn't bear to part from him as his hands found your waist, pressing you against him. You didn't want to stop, neither did he, until he pulled away, burying his face in your neck, holding you in a tight hug, one that felt so complete and made you realise how perfectly they two of you fit against each other. And that this entire time Seokmin was still inside you, waiting to finish. As you involuntary clenched around him, Seokmin groaned in your ear.
"Lie on your back."
He pulled back at your words, raising an eyebrow. You gently pushed him off you, his back hitting the mattress.
"Off." You patted his pants, and he quickly lifted hips and kicked it off just before you swung your legs around his waist, straddling him. Seokmin let out a low whistle, slightly smiling at the sight of you above him. You ran your hands down his pecs to his abs as he tucked an arm under his head, watching you.
"Hey."
You hummed in response, tilting your head at him.
"I love you." He looked at you earnestly. "I really really do."
"I love you too." You confessed again, leaning down to drop him a quick kiss, your hand wrapping around his length. "But right now, let me make you come big boy."
Seokmin somehow felt himself get more hard, if that was even possible, as you pumped his length in your hand a few times before raising yourself and aligning it against your entrance, slowly sinking down on it. As your mouth dropped open in a silent sigh feeling him fill both your body and your heart, Seokmin moaned, his free hand running up your thigh. Rocking your hips, slowly readjusting to his thickness, you threw your head back, baring your neck in a way that made Seokmin's mouth water. As he tried to bring his hand up to strip you of your shirt, you beat him to it, slowly unbuttoning it and sliding it off your shoulders, allowing Seokmin to sit up and wrap his mouth around your breast. You ran your hand up the nape of his neck, relishing the way his tongue swirled around your nipple, wondering how in the world the two of you managed to keep your hands off each other all these years. You didn't think you could do more than a while without this man's touch from now.
Pulling him from you, you pushed him back once more, holding onto his shoulders for support as you began moving your hips up and down his length. Seokmin cursed under his breath as he gripped the flesh of your ass, guiding your movements. Honestly, he didn't even need you to ride him to finish, just the look on your face, the perfect combination of love and lust, flushed red, slightly shining with sweat, fuck that was enough for him. He held on for as long as he could, hating the idea of not being in you anymore, but when you bit your lower lip, eyes hooded, he couldn't stop himself anymore.
"Fuck, I'm cumming."
To his surprise you immediately pulled yourself off him, stroking his dick in your hand, as he finally lost it, his cum splaying all over his abs and your stomach. He looked at you eyebrows raised as you, collected his cum with a finger and slipped it your mouth.
"Do not." Seokmin groaned at the sight. "Don't make me go again, I might just break you."
You laughed, dropping into the space beside him as he put his arm around you, pulling you closer.
"Why though? Wasn't all this for baby number two?"
"Yeah well, I don't think any of what we did was part of traditional baby making."
Seokmin laughed. "You're not wrong there but what about the plan then..."
"I think we can give ourselves some time before we execute our perfect life plan." You cupped his cheek. "Besides, I think everything is perfect already with you by my side."
You had no idea how long the two of made out after that, simply entangled with each other. Maybe it was until you both realised how desperately you needed to shower (though you continued to kiss and giggle under the water.) You only stopped when you stepped out and heard a soft whimpering in the baby monitor, prompting you to quickly get dressed and rush to Aera's room, Seokmin following behind.
He stood, leaning against the door as he watched you lift her into your arms and holding her against your chest.
"Why won't your daughter sleep Mr. Lee?"
"Again, I think she's taken after you Ms.L/n."
"It's Mrs. Lee." You corrected, making him smile.
As he watched you put your child to sleep, be didn't think he could love you any more. Little did he know, in a little over 9 months, mini Seokmin would make his way into this world, and Seokmin loved you more than ever.
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