#idk how I’m gonna tell my dad ‘hey I got rejected AGAIN and I’m scared you’re gonna yell at me/be disappointed again 🙃’

[galariangengar]

💭

[petersnya]

SOMETIMES

PETER PARKER X FEM!READER

---NOT MY PHOTO/GIF---

PART ONE

Prompt/Summary: “...some people fall in love with the wrong people sometimes…” /// Peter Parker meets the love of his life. But is he the love of hers? Having a bad past always affects the future.

Warnings: ANGST, FLUFF, SMUT(light smut towards the end xxx tehe) ECT. 

Word count: 3026

[A/N]Wattupp! So I have been busy with volleyball lately but I finally have the time to write! I got this idea while I was in class and it seemed like it would be perfect lol. I love Marvel so much like I grew up reading the comics so I’m excited to write this ( I'm in love with Peter Parker/Tom Holland too ). I'm thinking this should be a series??? Idk. Let me know what you think! ENJOY AND SHARE WITH YOUR FRIENDS!! Explicit content ahead…(this was also inspired by a song I love called moral of the story. tehe I love Niall Horan bruh) 

-J.T.S xxx

“Sup Parker, ” a tall, curly-haired girl rushed through the front door of Peter Parker's apartment. “Aunt May here?” the girl questioned the brown-eyed boy who was frantically following the girl with his eyes from his seated position on the couch. 

“No, uh, she's not. She's at work actually- wait what are you doing here MJ?” Peter questioned the girl, raising an eyebrow in curiosity. He stood from the couch, approaching the kitchen counter that MJ was standing behind, putting whatever she had run into the house with in the kitchen drawer. 

“Uh, just… Hangin’ out, ” MJ explained, shrugging her shoulder as she hopped onto the counter facing Peter, swinging her legs with an innocent look on her face. 

“Yeah sure, I'm not gonna believe tha -” 

“MJ! The hell is wrong with you! Give them back you oversized giraffe!” a loud banging on the door caught MJ and Peter’s attention making them turn their heads towards it. MJ, not looking shocked at all, but Peter having a tariffed look on his face. 

“We’re the same height dumbass!” MJ shouted back to the girl on the other side of the door with a smirk on her face. Peter was confused by the situation. Turning his head back at MJ, who was silently snickering, he questioned, “Who the hell is that?”, the tan girl, who was now standing next to him, made her way to open the door. 

“MJ gets the fuck out here and give me my-” the mystery girl on the other side of the door was cut off by the door opening in her face. She stood there in shock, looking past MJ at the curly-haired boy standing next to her. Peter looked away from MJ then at the girl who was standing in the doorway. He couldn’t help but stare at her, taking in the beautiful sight in front of him. Peter was taken aback when suddenly, her lips curled into a wide smile. She pointed her finger at MJ, the at Peter, and back again. Peter had no idea what was going on until MJ’s smirk that she had faded off of her face.

“No. No, no, no, ” she said grabbing the girl's hand and pushing it down to her side. 

“And who is this MJ?” she said slyly. 

“This is…” MJ paused, glancing back at Peter then back to the girl at the door. “Penis Parker.” she then said with a slight chuckle. 

“Hey! Wha- no! That’s not my name! MJ I swear to-“ 

“Your mom named you penis?” She said, raising an eyebrow in confusion. MJ laughed walking out of the door and next to the girl. “And this is my cousin, Y/N.” 

“Sup man,” Y/N said to Peter with a big goofy grin on her face. 

“Alright we’ll be leaving now,” MJ said grabbing her cousin’s hand, dragging her away from the door. 

“Penis is kinda hot cuz. How have you not fu-“ 

“We’re leaving!” MJ shouted over Y/N, dragging her out of the way to where Peter couldn’t see them anymore, but just in Peter’s favor, he heard everything.

\\\

The next day, Peter was walking out of school with MJ and his best friend, Ned. 

“So MJ, I heard you have a cousin. Y/N…” Ned said, leaning forward, looking across Peter to see MJ who was walking on the other side of him. Peter hit Ned on the shoulder with his, silently telling him to stop talking about it. MJ chuckle. 

“Well uh, I gotta go. See you guys later! Good luck Pete.” Ned said with a wink as he walked towards the bus.

“Wait, Ned! We ride the bus- together… whatever.”

MJ and Peter walked down the stairs talking about all their classes, the teachers they hated, and other things. As they made their way to the sidewalk they heard someone yelling at them, causing both of them to turn their heads towards the loud voice. 

“Ah. I forgot, Y/N’s picking me up today.” 

“Y/N? Oh…” Peter said, trying to hide the blush on his face. Every time he thought about her, he couldn’t help but re-play the words she said yesterday: ...he’s kinda hot… Peters has never had that sort of attention given to him by a girl especially one that looked like Y/N. To him, she was an angel. But Peter, being the typical person he was, wouldn’t even think about approaching her- being afraid of rejection. 

“How old is she?” Peter asked curiously, the thought lingering in his mind. 

“Our age. She’s home-schooled.” the tall her said, stuffing her hands in the side pockets of her jacket. Peter looked at her curiously, if she’s home-schooled then why is she with MJ all the time now? 

“Her uh, her dad just recently passed, due to health difficulties, so she and her mom moved down here to get a new start. While her mom is trying to get their new house and a stable job down in Queens she will be staying with me for about… a year I think. I, of course, let her stay with me. She’s my favorite cousin and I don’t want her to be alone during this ruff time.” she explained, practically reading Peter’s expression. He nodded in response, his eyes glued to his feet.

“MJ! MJ come on! Harry Potter re-run of the first two movies start in T-minus 10 minutes and I have to go pick up my new sweatshirt!” Y/N yelled from her car while honking the horn. The upper half of her body sticking out of the driver’s window while her forearms supported her on the roof of her car.

“Annnddd, she kinda a nerd, but she considers herself just ‘well educated’.” Peter chuckled as he looked at Y/N. Once they got to the car, MJ threw her backpack in the passenger window. Y/N slide back into her window, shoving the bag in the back. MJ then opened the car door and hopped in, clicking her seat belt. She waved bye to Peter.

“Bye Peter Parker.”

“Later MJ.”

“Oooh, so his name isn’t penis… I knew it! Peter, it’s cute. Sup Parker!” 

Peter started to blush but it was hard to see from his face already red from the heat of the sun. He smiled and waved to her, noticing how her Y/E/C eyes glistened in the sun.

“H-hey, Y/N.” He said toying with the strap of his bag, his curls in his face. 

“Heyyy! You should come watch the Harry Potter movies three and four with me and MJ Friday! You can even bring that one guy you guys are always talking to.” She said leaning on the steering wheel, looking at Peter through her long, mascara coated eyelashes.

“Sure I’d love to come… wait- do you have your driver's license?” the question lingered in Peter’s mind.

“Nope!” Y/N yelled as she sped away, the tires of the car screeching on the road. Peter could still hear their loud laughter of the two cousins as they drove away.

That night while Peter was patrolling as Spider-Man, he stopped and landed on the building next to MJ’s place. There was a window that was the only lit room. He thought it was MJ so he was going to go up and scare her, but once he got closer, he could see that it was Y/N. His heartbeat quickened as he watched her walk over to her bed, putting her hair in a ponytail. She was wearing an oversized black T-shirt. As she was putting her hair up, she stretched her arms causing her shirt to reveal her very small underwear. Peter could feel his suit beginning to get uncomfortable at the view in front of him.

Quickly, Peter swung away from the building making his way home before Y/N or anyone could see him.

He crawled back into his window making sure to stay quiet so that Aunt May wouldn’t hear. Once he had his suit off, he showed and got into bed. Peter couldn’t sleep that night. He couldn’t help but think about Y/N. She was tattooed in his brain and, of course, tattoos don’t go away. 

///

The days went by slow, well, they went slow to Peter. He was overly excited to go to MJ’s place and watch a movie with Y/N. That was the only person on his mind, her. But those slow days soon went by and it was Friday afternoon. Peter was so anxious he practically ran home to put his school stuff away and then ran to MJ’s. 

He approached the door to her place and knocked on the door with his fist. Peter whipped his sweaty palms on his flannel, waiting for the door to open. 

“What up Pete! MJ said you would be here around this time. Come on in man.” Y/N said as she flung open the door with a soft smile on her face. Peter couldn’t get enough of her energetic personality. He followed Y/N, closing the door behind him. The brown-eyed boy couldn’t help but admire her as she walked in front of him. Her outfit consists of high-waisted but loose jeans, a plain black tube top with a very large flannel that was left unbuttoned. 

“Uh, Michelle and your other friend… Ned! That’s his name, I can never remember,” she chuckled nervously, “they uh- went to the store to go get snacks and food so they should be back in a little while. I’m gonna go get some blankets and stuff from my room for the movies, there pretty long so I wanna be comfortable. Wanna help?” Y/N said as she started to walk towards her room, looking over her shoulder to see if Peter was following.

“Oh, yeah, sure I’ll help you,” he said, slowly trailing behind her. As they went into her room she started to grab blankets and pillows, tossing them by the door. Peter couldn’t help but admire her well-decorated room, it fits her personality so well, he thought to himself. He walked over to her tall nightstand and saw a pair of glasses sitting on them. For some reason, they intrigued him. 

“Do you mind?” he asked. “Nah, not at all,” Y/N replied not looking up from the pile of blankets in the corner, waving her hand in a ‘go ahead’ motion. Peter shrugged and turned his attention back to the glasses. They were small and black, they didn’t look like they would fit her face. He picked them up, examining them curiously. Y/N looked over at Peter, immediately dropping everything in her hands and rushing over to him. She snatched the glasses out of his hand and put them in her drawer. Peter was taken aback by this sudden action, raising his hands in a surrendering motion. 

“Don’t touch those,” Y/N said harshly. She looked at Peter’s face that was plastered with an apologetic look. “I- I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude. My… my dad gave me those,” she explained. Peter mumbled an ‘it’s ok’ under his breath. 

She walked over to the edge of her bed, scooting over to give Peter room to sit down. He took the hint and went to sit next to her. Y/N sat there, her leg bouncing as she tried to take steady breathes to calm herself down, fiddling with the many rings on her fingers. 

“Hey, you ok Y/N?” Peter asked, placing a hand gently on her shoulder. She looked up at him with glossed-over eyes. She let out a shaky breath and nodded. Licking her lips, she began to explain. 

“Well uh, m-my dad, he uh… he passed away about two weeks ago. When I was younger we used to always read together and I would have trouble saying some of the words. My mom thought it was just cause I couldn’t read properly yet but my dad always said ‘my little girl is the smarts little girl I know… she’s just as blind as a bat, like her father,’ Y/N paused, sniffing while wiping the tear that rolled down her cheek before continuing, “He bought me those glasses after the eye doctor told me my vision was terrible. The day before he passed away, he took the glasses off that he had and handed them to me. I tried to stop him and tell him that I had some, but all he did was look at my mom and then back at me and said, ‘she’s just as blind as a bat, like her father.’” the last part came out in a whisper. 

Reaching over to her bedside table, Y/N grabbed a pair of circular glasses that looked like they were from the Harry Potter movie. “My dad loved Harry Potter, I never wear them though cause I-I’m just...scared. I don’t know why though. It’s just silly.” she said with a slight smile. “MJ took my contacts from me just a few days ago to get me to wear them and I still haven’t gotten them back.” so that’s why she came over that day, Peter wondered. 

Peter was about to say something but MJ and Ned came into the apartment, yelling that they were back with the snacks and food. 

“T-minus 10 minutes Y/N,” MJ yelled from the kitchen.

“Yeah, I’ll be out in a second,” Y/N shouted back to her, “you should go ahead.”

Peter got up to leave the room, but before he did he turned to say something,  “I think that your dad would want you to wear them, Y/N. Trust me,” he said with a soft smile that caused Y/N to smile back at him.

///

“Dude, where’s Y/N? She’s never late for an H.P movie,” MJ questioned. Peter and Ned looked at each other shrugging before looking back at her. Only two minutes later, Y/N came walking out of her room, they all turned their heads to look. 

“Ok, I’m ready for the movie,” she said with a big goofy smile on her face. Peter and MJ looked at her in shock. Ned had no idea what was going on and just sat and ate popcorn. Y/N had on some shorts and a Slytherin sweatshirt, but that wasn’t the shocking part. She was wearing her dad’s glasses. 

“What? Do you guys not like my sweatshirt?” 

“I think it’s great,” Ned said giving her a thumbs up. 

“Thanks, Ned, glad to see someone appreciates it,” Y/N said sarcastically. MJ and Peter looked at each other. Peter was about to say something but MJ put a finger up signaling for him not to. Y/N sat between MJ and Peter on the couch, grabbing a bag of chips while adjusting the glasses on her face. She looked over at Peter mouthing the word ‘thank you’  causing Peter to blush but hid it quickly.

About thirty minutes into the movie, Y/N got comfortable and snuggled her head into MJ’s shoulder while MJ laid her head onto of Y/N’s. Y/N had her exposed long, smooth legs draped over Peter’s thighs. This sent Peters mind wondering: 

As she slowly straddled my lap, I placed my hands on her thighs, keeping her steady. My large hands squeezed at her exposed skin. I ran them to her ass, repeating the motion causing her to jerk, rubbing her core against jeans, making her moan quietly in my ear. Her arms hugged around my neck. She moved her head to where her lips were perfectly leveld with mine. She connected her lips with mine in a soft kiss, but I wanted more. I needed more. I ran my tongue over her bottom lips, squeezing her ass in my hand once again. Her lips were parted slightly, giving me access to slip my tongue into her mouth. She surprised me with her next move. She wrapped her lips around my tongue then released it with a slight smacking noise. This made me harder than I was before- if that was even possible. We sat there for a second, staring into each other’s eyes, noticing how they were filled with lust. Before I could even think my actions through, I removed my hand from her ass, grabbing her jaw and pulling her facing into mine, catching her lips and lustful but passionate kiss. My tongue almost immediately won the dominance against hers. I flipped us so that I was on top and started to trail kisses down her exposed stomach. Her thighs wrapped around my head as her back arched off of the bed. I put my hands on her lower back. I started to tease her soaked-

“I don’t see how you like Draco Malfoy?” Ned’s voice snapped Peter out of his daydream, turning his head over to Ned who was munching on a handful of popcorn.  

“What!” MJ and Y/N screamed. Ned and Peter both turned their heads to them, wondering why they seemed so upset. “What do you mean why do we like Draco Malfoy,” MJ said.

“What type of question is that?” Y/N said, finishing her sentence. This caused MJ and Y/N to go into a whole ordeal on why Draco is their favorite character. All Peter could do was watch the way her pink lips moved as she explained. 

This helped Peter calm down from his daydream and stoping his hard-on to be seen. Thank God…

///

That night, Peter laid awake in his bed, thinking about how Y/N looked in his fantasy. He wished that it was really like so so badly. He couldn’t help to feel this attraction towards her, from the first time he saw her. It wasn’t just her good looks, even though to Peter she was stunning, it was her style, her personality, the way her eyes squinted and her cheekbones rose when she laughed. The way she would ramble about anything and everything. His last thought before he drifted into sleep rang in his brain,

Does she feel the same? 

[A/N] Hey bestie :))) hope you liked this chapter! Thank you for the support and make sure to send me ideas for imagines you guys want! IM GONNA TRY TO UPLOAD EVERY DAY OR EVERY OTHER DAY AT 5:30/6:30 PM. 

 DISCLAIMER!!! THE NEXT CHAPTER IS FULL OF SMUT.. are you ready?

-J.T.S xxx

[keytomythoughts]

Perfection Imperfections | Chapter 1

Chapter Index 

»»—————————————-　

Finally, summer break. It’s been a while since I was able to go home. Having to attend high school rather far from my home in Seoul, I never thought that I’d adjust to the new environment. Fortunately, I wasn’t entirely alone, since I stayed with my aunt for the four years of my high school life. School wasn’t so bad, but the homesickness is what killed it for me. Even though it was my parents' idea to send me a rather vast distance—me not being too excited about it, but I knew I wouldn’t get my way in the end—there was some good that came from it. The two only good things, actually. 

I glance outside the train window, the buildings of Busan zooming past me. Sure, it may not be my home, but I won’t lie. I’m really going to miss this place. My phone suddenly vibrates in my lap, glancing down to see a text from my group chat, smiling as I respond.

(Binnie)

R u still on the train?

                                                               Yeah have been for the past like 30 mins

(Eunuwu) 

Going back to ur parents? Or r u moving out?

                                                                                                                      Funny

                                                                        Yk I can’t move out, at least not on                                                                            my own. My parents won’t allow it

(Binnie)

:/

What about Jaehyun?

                                                                            Idk, they rlly dc what he does tbh

                                                                       They’re just hell-bent on me getting                                                                                    into the top schools and shit

(Eunuwu)

Damn, rough

                                                                                                                        Mhm

(Binnie)

Try talking to them, u never know

They might change their minds?

                                                                 Nah, I already know how it’s gonna end

                                                                         Me crying and stuffing myself with                                                                           pints of ice cream

(Eunuwu)

Doesn't sound so bad

(Binnie)

¬_¬

(Eunuwu)

Except for the crying part ofc

But c’mon it cant really be THAT bad

I’ve been over plenty of times, they seem nice

(Binnie)

U’ve been to her house??

                                                                         Yeah him and oppa are friends too

(Binnie)

Righttt forgot lol

                                                                  And that’s bc you were there dumbass                                                                    and half of the time ur either in oppa’s                                                                    room or out somewhere

                                                                  Interaction with my parents = minimal

(Binnie)

That sounds awful ngl :( sorry Hyuna

But hey we should all hang soon!

(Eunuwu)

I’ll be in Seoul for the summer too so y not?

                                                                                                           I miss y’all :’(

                                                                   Ok I should be there around like 5 ish                                                                     so I’ll text then

(Binnie)

Aww I miss u toooo 

(Eunuwu)

*puke*

                                                                                           Shut up, ur just jealous

(Eunuwu)

Me? Jealous?? Of what, ur face?

Yea no thx, Ive got a great face already

And personality 0:)

                                                                               Gr8, explains why ur still single

(Binnie)

LOLL

She got u there bro

(Eunuwu)

Shut up

Ur talking as if u’ve got a gf

Idiot

(Binnie)

At least I didnt reject them as coldly as u did lol 

                                                                                             See? My point exactly

                                                                               Your fAcE scared off every girl                                                                                   in sight bc of tht pErSoNaLiTy

                                                                           I almost feel bad for them, u little                                                                             heart breaker

(Binnie)

He made a couple of em cry I heard

                                                                                                                     Rlly?!?

                                                                                                                         YAH

                                                                                                               U MORON

(Eunuwu)

Bin wtf

(Binnie)

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

                                                                                    U JERK HOW COULD U??

                                                                                              Those poor girls omg

                                                                               Im so kicking ur ass when I c u

(Binnie)

Me 2

(Eunuwu)

Wtf?? Y???

(Binnie)

No reason lol, just feel like it

                                                                                         And this is why ily Binnie

(Binnie)

:D <3

(Eunuwu)

GROSS

                                                                                                        Can it u demon

                                                                                                         Read 4:02 PM

I snort, turning off my phone and placing it back down on my lap as I go back to staring outside my left-hand window again. Meet Cha Eunwoo and Moon Bin, my two best friends. The only reason I got through high school how I did without major setbacks. Sure, there was the occasional homesickness and all, but had I not met these two, I probably wouldn’t have even attended and graduated. 

Being so far away from the place I grew up never really suited me, and they saw it right away from day one how lonely and upset I looked. I didn't seem to fit in, especially since I skipped a grade and was placed in classes that were very advanced for me. Not that I minded the vigor, but it was hard for me to socialize, let alone make friends. 

That’s when I met them. Freshman year in homeroom before my first literature class. Moon Bin, a boy with parted, coppery-golden hair accompanied by his shy, puppy-eye smile and sweet nature, offered me an empty seat next to him in class, even going as far as to share his textbook and asking how I found the school. No doubt, I was embarrassed and immensely shy, stuttering over my words and failing to meet his soft gaze. However, he didn’t make fun of me nor find me odd. All he did was smile, laughing lightly at my slightly flustered state. He stuck his hand out, introducing himself (most people just call him Moonbin or Bin) with that smile of his, thus the start of our new friendship. Since then, he became someone who always knew how to cheer me up when I was feeling down. No moment was ever dull with him by my side. 

Eunwoo, the tall, brooding black-haired and charismatic student almost everyone knew (and crushed on) of, was usually with Moonbin when we hung out together, but he normally kept to himself. Though quiet and sometimes reserved with his intimidating looks, it didn’t take long for him to break the ice with us, the three of us becoming close friends. Promising to stay like this until we went to college and beyond. Regardless if we all diverge and tread different paths, we would always converge and come back to one another. 

Four years flew by and graduation was upon us. Just like that, the two became like family to me, my ride-or-die duo. The two who were able to turn my world upside down, finding solace in a time where I thought it was nearly impossible for me to.  

My thoughts are interrupted by my “Move” ringtone—yes, I’m a huge Lee Taemin fan—looking down at my phone again to see it’s my brother calling. I sigh, picking up the call.

“What?” 

He gasps dramatically. “Is that any way to address your loving older brother after being away for so long?”

I snort, shaking my head. “Loving my ass, oppa. How are mom and dad?”

“They’re fine, living. Didn’t you tell them you’re coming home?”

“Nope, I don’t even text them that often. You already know this..”

He sighs. “Yeah, I figured.” 

There’s a slight pause on his end, but he continues. “You took the three-thirty train, right? So you’ll be here around five or so?”

“Yeah, give or take.” 

I look out the window again to see the endless stretch of greenery and flowing springs, sometimes even children playing in the fields. I grin mischievously, deciding to poke fun at my brother when he doesn’t respond right away. 

“What, you miss me?”

He makes a sound similar to throwing up. “As if. I got so used to the peace and quiet. I’m not ready for it to go away.” 

“Yah!” I realize that I had yelled a bit too loudly and eyes were now trained on me, and I bow my head in apology. I lower my voice, “You’re such an asshole.”

“Oh, I know, but you still love me anyway.”

“Shut up.”

I can hear his laugh resonate through the phone and a smile unknowingly tugs at my lips. I wouldn’t say it out loud, but it’s true. When I lived with my aunt in Busan for the duration of high school, I missed Jaehyun a lot. Though two years older than me, he didn’t seem to alienate me the way my parents do. While I hate the notion that they spoil Jaehyun endlessly and let him do as he wishes, I won’t lie and say that he was a prick about it. He could’ve been, but he never came off as selfish. I’m really close with my brother, shocking as it may be. Sibling relationships are like that—one minute you want to strangle them with their intestines and the next you’re singing duets together. Crazy, but that’s how it is for us. My parents don’t really pay me any attention, so Jaehyun decides to do that instead. Not complaining though. I’d rather take his pranking and teasing over my parents’ demands and reprimands any day.

“Aight, I’m heading out for a bit. Text me when you arrive.”

I smile again. “Will do, but make sure to get me food!”

“Let me think…” He hums, and I can practically sense the smirk on his end. “Nope. Get your own.”

“Oppa!”

Jaehyun laughs. “See you in a bit, Hyuna. Get here safely. Bye!”   

He hangs up the call before I get a chance to retort, and I scoff. Typical of my brother. He knows how much I enjoy street food, and every time he goes out, it’s almost certain that most of the time he stops somewhere to eat. Did he ever bring food back? Sure, but by the time I’d get to it, most of it was gone anyways. That only lasted a little while before I had gone upstate anyways, so he had more food for himself, I guess.

As the train barrels down the tracks, I feel my heart racing in excitement, but there’s also a slight ounce of dread. I really don’t know why. I want to believe it’s because I’ve been away for too long, but part of me knows it’s the fact that I’ll have to face my parents again. Knowing that I only have two months to decide where I wanted to go and what I wanted to do, I know the bitter truth is that those decisions won’t be left up to me. Last time, I was sent to Busan.

God knows where I’d be sent to now.

***

“Final destination of the KTX Busan-Seoul train at Seoul Station is approaching and will arrive at 05:30 PM. The doors to alight are on the right hand side. All passengers are requested to dismount the train upon arrival. Thank you.” 

That’s my stop.

Gathering my bag and hand luggage, I patiently wait for the train to pull up at the station. Seeing the familiar shops and buildings around me makes my legs bounce up and down in both excitement and anticipation. 

Four long years away from Seoul...

Before getting off, I quickly text the group chat and then my brother, letting them all know that I’ve reached safely. Side-stepping the other passengers exiting the subway doors, I carefully land onto the platform with my luggage in tow. I breathe in the air around as I stretch my arms up into the sky, the grin widening on my face.

It sure as hell feels good to be back home.

I try my best to maneuver through the crowds, but it doesn’t stop the rush of people knocking into me. At times like these, I curse my genetics for favoring my older brother instead of me in terms of height. Eventually, I come to a clearing and when my eyes glance upwards, I spot a rather familiar dark brown-haired six-foot-tall male amongst the small crowd waving me over.

“Hyuna, over here!”

I gasp, my eyes widening. “Oppa!”

He smiles as I begin walking towards him, my feet hurriedly moving across the concrete. The distance between us shortens and I abandon my luggage as he opens his arms wide. 

Only for me to sucker punch him in the stomach.

He yelps in pain, grimacing as he holds his abdomen. “Shit, that hurt. What has Aunt Sua been feeding you up there? Rocks?”

I smack his shoulder, my blood slightly boiling in anger. “Yah, why didn’t you tell me you were coming?! Do you know how much money I blew off for the bus fare?”

He straightens his back before going to rub his shoulder, then behind his neck.

“Fine, fine. My bad. I wanted to surprise you, but I guess that didn’t work, did it?” 

I cross my arms over my chest, huffing in annoyance. He sighs, nodding.

“Okay, okay, I’ll compensate you. Dinner’s on me.”

At this I grin, blinking excitedly. I grab onto his arm and shake it vigorously. “Really? You mean it? You’re the best, oppa!” 

“Look at this brat..” he taunts, shaking his head. In a flash, he headlocks me and rubs the top of my head harshly with his knuckles, upsetting the neatly-tied auburn ponytail. 

“Yah! Quit it!” I smack his arms and flail in protest, but he chuckles, saying this is what I get for cunningly finding a way to exploit him the minute I stepped back into Seoul. 

What can I say? It’s a talent. 

He lets go eventually, and I try to smooth down my already-tangled hair. I grumble incoherently but Jaehyun pulls me into his embrace, wrapping his arms around me. His free hand gently pats the side of my head in comfort.

“Welcome home, sis.”

I stand there stiff for a second before hugging back. He squeezes me tighter and I find myself smiling into his shoulder. 

“Good to be back,” I whisper. 

We stand like that for a moment before he pats my back a couple of times, us pulling away from each other soon after. He reaches behind me to grab my hand luggage as he shoulders my bag. I tell him that I can carry them just fine, but he starts walking away from the platform to the parking lot. I call out after him as I run to catch up, and I can see the corners of his mouth twitch. Jaehyun leads me to his car, a sleek matte-silver convertible Mustang. My mouth drops open in shock at its stunning beauty, my body forcing itself to remain composed for the sake of avoiding public self-embarrassment. 

He throws my luggage in the back seat before he turns to me, smirking at my expression. “You like it?”

“Shit, do I like it? I love it!” I run my fingers over its metallic surface, the silver exterior gleaming in the evening glow. Grinning, I stare up at my brother who catches my gaze as I stand next to the driver’s seat, my fingers already curled on the handle.

“Can I—”

“No.”

“Please—”

“Nope.”

I pout as I pull my hand away and step to the side. Jaehyun chuckles, rubbing my head playfully before getting into the driver’s seat and starting the car. The engine purrs to life as my brother pulls out his shades and wears them. He looks at me and cocks his head to the passenger seat. 

“Don’t just stand there. Get in.”

Smiling, I quickly make my way over to the other side and slip into the passenger seat. I barely have time to buckle in before Jaehyun speeds off. I scream in fright, but he laughs heartily, telling me to let loose.

With the wind harshly whipping around us, I close my eyes and tilt my head upwards, absorbing the remnants of my childhood in a place I’ll always call home. A place where my heart always feels at ease.

My name is Jung Hyuna. I’m eighteen years old, and this is my story.

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 |  

[innittowinit]

Abandoned amusement parks are the best place for young children (Chapter 19)

Fic summary: 

Techno, Tommy, Wilbur and Phil have been hanging out at the abandoned amusement park in the woods since they moved in. Techno likes knowing he's definitely alone with his brothers Tommy likes climbing on the old rides Wilbur likes having a place to play his music Phil likes spending time with his younger brothers

That is, until a group of brothers calling themselves the 'dream team' move in down the road. Will the sleepy boys give in and share the park or will they succeed in scaring the new kids off?

Chapter summary:

Eret's been acting...strange Techno senses somethings definitely off

Chapter word count: 1726

AO3

Friendships were a complex thing. Techno had known that as long as he could remember. People come and people go, it was nothing, especially not to him or Wilbur. Inherently, they knew all they had was each other, maybe their other brothers would also always be with them but what they had together was a special bond. Neither Phil nor Tommy would ever be able to understand them the way they understood each other and that was fine, they had lived every day side by side, they shared almost all their core memories and so their rationality was incredibly similar because of it, meaning they could very easily understand each other. 

Never had they asked for a friend that would feel the same way as the friendship they had with each other, and yet they always seemed to be asking for too much. That’s the part that confused Techno. 

Never had they needed to be understood. Never had they needed something complex. All they needed was someone to accept them so why did it feel like everyone always ended up leaving? Were they the problem? It always felt like they were trying so hard so why did it feel like they were pushing people away? 

You see, recently Eret had been acting….off. 

He had been stumbling over words, fidgeting, leaving quickly with the excuse of ‘being late for something’, and taking hours to reply to any kind of message. Each of these things would be fine on their own but with them all together, they felt a little strange. 

It didn’t seem like Wilbur had noticed the recent shift in behaviour yet so Techno didn’t dare bring it up, it wasn’t uncommon that he was overly cautious and he didn’t want to risk upsetting his brother over something that might not even be a big deal, especially when he had just started to get over the incident with the ticket booth. 

“So....He’s been busy a lot lately” Wilbur sighed, draping himself across the couch and clutching his phone in one hand. Niki had insisted they add some stickers onto it since letting them live off a ‘boring flip phone’ (as she had called it) was apparently not okay.

“Do you think he’s okay? Maybe something’s going on at home..”

Oh. Techno was positive everything was okay at home. Of course there was a possibility that he was just being protective of Wilbur because he didn’t want anyone hurting his brother but seriously! In his opinion, if you had enough money to eat fucking burger king as a school lunch you were doing fine financially, and really, that’s all that mattered right? Money had always been the reason why their parents were never around.

It was probably just his jealousy talking but he had always had a bit of an underlying anger for people with a big disposable income, how was it fair that their parents had to work so much at minimum wage jobs that they could hardly see them just to keep them warm and fed and yet other families could have their parents around by the time they were home from school /and/ have extra money for treats.

“Wil, don’t worry about him.” Techno sighed, trying to choose his words carefully. He knew Wilbur was always more sensitive to rejection than him.

“He’s more..social than we are, he probably just has other friends that he doesn’t want to ignore or something”

“Maybe.. I wish he’d tell us though, I don’t like being left on read” 

With a sigh and a gentle prod for him to sit up a bit more, Techno wrapped an arm around Wilbur, feeling how he melted into the contact straight away. Of course it hurt Techno too to be ignored by the one person they thought actually could be a good friend but he needed to put on a brave face for Wilbur. Of course it felt like a stab in the gut to have trusted someone so much to be able to start talking to them and then they just disappear but Wilbur needed him right now, it was obvious to anyone that he was the one with the bigger connection issues. 

“Wil, trusting people is a part of being friends. We can talk to him tomorrow alright? And we can explain that it would make you feel better if he said his plans before disappearing”

-----

It was Tuesday night and other than a few memes she had screenshotted off of instagram and sent them, they hadn’t really heard much at all from Eret. She hadn’t hung around them long enough at school for either of them to really bring it up with her and honestly, Techno was getting incredibly worried about what was going on. He’d never had a real friend like this before, of course Skeppy always made him laugh but he was family so he didn’t count, if he messed up with family he knew as long as they weren’t adults they’d still love him afterwards, friends worked differently though. He had his Hypixel friends too but they didn’t count either since they were online and he could type to them on days when he was struggling more. By now he’d known them so long they were basically family, they’d all taken hours out of their own time to research Techno’s problems to try and be as accommodating as possible- all in all he really couldn't compare them with Eret.

It was tricky and he knew communication was one of the more important parts, which was ironically what he struggled with the most. Maybe on one of his worse-off days, where he normally would have had Wilbur doing most of the talking for him, Eret had assumed he was angry with her or giving her the silent treatment, maybe she had taken offence to the fact that Wilbur and Techno were very obviously closer than she was with each one of them. The thought that somehow they might have made her feel left out made him feel a little sick, had they not explained well enough what had led to this point? Maybe it was selfish for them to relish in the fact that she rarely bugged them for explanations.

All in all, Techno was sure they had done something for the sudden shift in attitude and, not wanting to make Wilbur feel worse than he already did, he wasn’t sure who could help him. 

Maybe he could wait up until his parents got home? People on TV were always getting advice from them but then again.. His family wasn’t really like those on tv, if he was being honest he was half sure he’d be yelled at for being awake before he could have a chance to ask for help. 

He could also ask Phil, but then again Phil was already beyond stressed trying to make sure they were all okay, he really didn’t want to bother him. Niki was closer to Wilbur than she was with him and he was sure his hypixel friends were all still at school because of the time zone difference. 

The only other person he could really think of talking to about this was Skeppy, and so, hopping out of bed, trying his hardest not to make too much noise and wake up Wilbur, he made his way to the PC. 

11:36PM 

From what he knew, Skeppy usually stayed up late and slept so late he often missed his bus anyway so he probably was still up.

Clicking onto discord, he breathed a sigh of relief as he saw the green dot next to his cousin's icon, immediately messaging him. 

11:36 OrphanDestroyer: Hey nerd

11:36 OrphanDestroyer: U awake?

It took a few minutes for him to answer, Techno was just about ready to give up and accept he had just chosen the one night he may have gone to bed on time to try and message him.

11:42 japanesesymbolforbeginner: 1 sec ina call wiv bbh 

Writing ‘bbh’ off as one of Skeppy’s friends he had forgotten to tell them about, Techno waited patiently for Skeppy to say he was free. 

11:46 japanesesymbolforbeginner: ok im done, what you need

11:46 OrphanDestroyer: SO

11:46 OrphanDestroyer: Do you remember Eret?

11:48 OrphanDestroyer: Okay well basically for like the past few days he’s been ignoring me and Wilbs and I’m really really worried we offended him or something like maybe we hurt him or he’s mad or maybe he decided he's too good to be friends with us which tbh I don't blame him for because we kinda are losers and maybe people won't be friends with him because he's friends with us or something? Idk idk I just really wish he’d tell us something because like Wil is freaking out and idk what to tell him, he really struggles with this kinda stuff and I wanna help but idk how. 

11:48 japanesesymbolforbeginner: Ok...fuck

11:48 japanesesymbolforbeginner: Has he replied to any messages or anything? Maybe he’s busy?

11:48 OrphanDestroyer: Not really 

11:49 japanesesymbolforbeginner: Okay okay so here’s what I think you should do

11:49 japanesesymbolforbeginner: If he’s ignoring you you're gonna need to confront him next time you see him and don’t just agree when he makes an excuse to leave, like say you NEED to talk

11:50 japanesesymbolforbeginner: If u think he’s offended bc sometimes you don't speak a lot maybe just message him some resources or whatever on the type of mutism you deal with, even if he doesn’t reply he’ll probably still open it.

11:50 japanesesymbolforbeginner: like he might just be in the position where he’s nervous he’ll offend you if he asks something about it? Like maybe he doesn't understand fully and he just needs one of you to open the discussion 

11:50 OrphanDestroyer: okay you're probably right

11:50 OrphanDestroyer: There’s a link I have to one I normally email teachers whenever we have a new one so i'll probably send him that

11:50 OrphanDestroyer: Tomorrow though, my dads gonna be home soon and he’ll kill me if im still awake 

11:51 japanesesymbolforbeginner: aight, night Techno, good luck and btw you're all always welcome to come over if things get tense over there with ur parents

[vermillionflames]

Yeah idk what to even title this, I started it a while ago and I’m not sure how I feel about it. Uhmmm enjoy. Rated PG13

Seraphina felt like a hot mess. Marx had dragged her out of bed this morning, forcing her to have breakfast with her father, giving her a lecture the whole time about a "better sleep schedule" and "not coming home so late." Her father was the Wizard King and most people thought her job was easy. Just walk around the castle and look pretty; however, she had to fill in when her dad went off on his little adventures... which was often. 

"You know, if you didn't drink so much, you wouldn't be so cranky when you come down for breakfast~" Her father teased her after Marx left. She glared at him in response.

"I didn't drink that much," Seraphina huffed out as she played with her food, too nauseous to eat anything.

"Whatever you say, dear. I just worry about you, I can keep you safe from boys and villains, but alcohol isn't as easy to scare."

"I'm fine, dad," she rolled her eyes, "I just like to have fun."

"Don't have too much fun with my captains. I don't need those 3 distracted."

"If it was a different 3, would I be allowed to distract them then?" Seraphina winked.

"No... Hey, wanna sneak out the window with me and go watch for new types of magic?" His eyes gleamed as the idea spilled out of his mouth.

"Dad. Can you please, please just stay in the castle today? Just this once. I really feel like shit and I don't wanna have to entertain any royals," she gave him her best puppy dog eyes, "I just wanna lay in bed all day."

The Wizard King pouted at his daughter, but if there was anything he loved more than finding new spells, it was her. 

"Alright, just for you, I'll stay inside and do Marx's chore list... I mean to do list," he laughed, "He's gonna get grey hair because of us. Why don't you go to your room and I'll tell Marx you're off duty for today."

Seraphina was relieved. She went back to her room and went straight to bed. Waking up in the afternoon to a servant with tea and a warm bath ready for her. She spent the rest of the day in her silk robe, reading poetry, trying to keep the bile down. Her hangovers didn't normally last this long, so she wrote it off as catching a bug from someone she met with in any of the days before. 

The next morning the nausea was still there, only it was more intense this time. Seraphina barely made it out of bed in time to not throw up all over herself. She clung to the toilet for a long time, the sky was pink from the sunrise still. She opted to lay on the cold tile floor to calm down instead of going back to her bed. But she couldn't fall back asleep, she felt so sick. 

After a while she heard Marx come in, speech ready, before he saw her on the floor. He promptly left, returning with Owen and her father a few moments later.  "It's just a bug," she said as they bent over her and took in her appearance, "just let me sleep. Go away." She fluttered her hand, ignoring the concerned faces. "Stop babying me."

After some arguing, they left her alone. The only visitor for the rest of the day would be her servant, who again made her a bath. This time Seraphina sat in the tub for a long time. Just thinking. Who could have gotten her sick? Did Yami put out his cigarette into her tea? Was it that guy at the bar that got too close to her face? Maybe William was sick when she came over but didn't tell her because he didn't want to reject her... But he hadn't called in sick when she had a meeting with the Captains...

"Let's see, I spent the night with William, then Nozel, then Fuegoleon... Then on Thursday I had tea with Yami... No, none of them would see me if they were this sick... Hmm..." she closed her eyes as a wave of nausea hit her, that's when an idea hit her. 

"Oh shit."

[sallyface-incorrect]

The Struggles of Having ADHD

- Only Being able to sleep either 2 hours or 16, there’s no in between. I am legit typing this at 3:02 am because I can’t sleep and I haven’t slept that much and it sucks. Summer is for sleeping, not for stress.

- Not being able to remember basic information about someone like their name, but being able to remember that they once told you that their great great aunt had a mole on her foot the shape of Texas. True story btw, sorry Amber.

- Feeling like your being rejected if your friend can’t make it to hang out with you because of family reasons. RSD is a bitch. Like the tiniest thing can make you feel rejected. Ie, your mom telling you not to be so loud, someone asking why your sneezes are so loud, someone asking you to return their pen, etc.

- Having your medication ware off/forgetting to take it and being the most annoying bitch in the galaxy. I once went on a school trip and my meds wore off and I ended up spending the 2 hour bus ride back annoying the guy who was trying to sleep in front of me, again, I am so sorry Max.

- IDK if it’s just me but, chewing on literally everything. Bottle caps, paper, fabric, rubber (my favorite), and much more. I used to get punished all the time for chewing on things I wasn’t supposed to. Nail biting is also a big thing. And so is hair chewing.

- Being told “You’re too smart to have ADHD”. Well Susan, I have a neurological devolpmental disorder, I’m not retarded.

- Either giving too much information or not enough when in conversation, and also bringing up really irrelevant things in the conversation like, I know we’re talking about the Louisiana Perchance but can I tell you about this one time it rained and I saw a snail?

- Being botherd by loud and/or repetitive noises. Pen clicking and high pitched sirens make me want to scream. They suckkk harder then Travis wants to suck Sal’s dick. And the worse is when people think you’re weird or that you have a problem with them for asking. I understand you like to click your pen and I’m so sorry it’s just so loud...

- Being afraid of your friends rejecting you. Again, RSD is a bitch. Like you’re afraid that one day your bestie will get up and leave and never come back and it’s all your fault and you suck and ughhhhhh. You’re also afraid their s/o / parents hate you and one day they’ll convince them to just leave you.

- Medication is a godsend but it’s also problematic. The stuff that I take fucks up my sleep schedule, my appetite, and make me tired and nauseous. It also gives me headaches and belly aches :(

- Either being so hungry that you also eat everything in your fridge or being so not hungry that even the concept of food disgust you. And sometimes, you even throw up because food is so gross and you’re gross and all that gross is inside you and eww.

- Intense, powerful migraines. They get worse in the winter months. Last year I took almost a week off of school because my migraines got worse and worse and worse and I couldn’t do it.

- Having no measurement of personal space or how to physically interact with someone. I just said hi, do I hug you, do I high five you, idk? Like idk how many potential friendships I’ve fucked up because I was too handsey.

- Being really particular about the type of clothing I wear. I love LOVE long sleeve shirts/ sweatshirts/ sweaters/ hoodies and shorts. I also love to wear socks around the house. I hate HATE wearing socks with shoes though, it makes me anxious. I also hate wearing certain types of pants. I literally only have 2 - 3 pairs of pants I’ll wear because pants sometimes feel like a tent and I hate that.

- Not being able to loose weight. I’m not fat, or chubby, I mean I have abs for God’s sake! It’s just that I have thick ass thigh I h a t e and I wish I could just get rid of them but my medication prevents me from loosing all that weight. On the bright side, I can eat a lot and not gain weight either.

- Having certain little routines you can’t skip. For example, every morning I must shave my legs and brush my hair or the world will end. I also must have all the doors and windows closed or else I’m gonna scream.

- Also idk if this is a problem for anyone else but doors and windows being open. I can’t stand it, I mean please, I don’t care that you’re just coming up for 1 thing but p l e a s e for the love of g o d, close the door that leads to upstairs. Having it open just isn’t right.

- Hyperfixiating on something for soo long that you forget to do basic hygiene like shower, use the bathroom, brush your hair, brush your teeth. It can get you in really big trouble but at least the job is done.

- Having a comfort item. Like I have this stuffed lamb whose name is “Lambchop” but I call “Lambie” and I sleep with them each and every night and carry them around the house with me when I’m home and if I’m upset I NEED to cuddle them bacuse it’s the only thing that will make the world go away.

- Being insanely good at certain academics and shitty at others. For example, when I was in 5th grade I was reading at an undergrad level and had the ability to understand science concepts a senior would be learning but my math was at the level of a second graders.

- Idk how to describe it but like, doing movements half way and the forgetting about them. Like this one time I was at a piano recital and I went to reach for something and forgot what I was reaching for so I just kinda held my hand up in a grabbing motion for half a song and then forgot about it until my mom reminded me to put it down.

- Not being able to understand that people don’t want to hear about your hyperfixiation. I’ve had 2 cases of this in my life, my “ghosts are definitely really and now this is my only personality triat” and my “I’m not a weeb but Tokyo Ghoul is so good now let me tell you all about the plot.” (Tokyo Ghoul gang REPRESENT)

- Having 3 different moods, hyperactive, normal, and cold. Like you’re normal most of the time but sometimes you’re sooo hyper that your an entirely different person, or sometimes you’re sooo distant you’re a different person too.

- Not being able to identify your emotions very well. Like, this guy just told me that my dad and my bestie are asshole who deserve to die in a fire, what am I feeling? Am I sad? Angry? Scared? Do I think this is funny? Am I gonna laugh? Cry? Idk, throw hands? Or the dreaded crush. Do I have feelings for this person or do I just want to be really good friends? Do I hate them? Love them? Am I gonna cry the next time I see them? Last time we hung out was fun but idk???

- Also like I mentioned, romance/sexuality is hard. Last time I dated I dated this guy I really liked, or at least I thought I did. We dated for three months before I blew it off because he asked to put his arm around me and it was weird when I said yes. Also sexuality. Idk if this is a problem for anyone else or just my bisexual ass. Like it’s so hard and I really like guys but hey, girls are hot. And like I like guys more than girls?? Sometime it makes me feel really fake.

- Really enhanced weird hearing. I know at least 80% of my classes drama because I have superhearing and I’m a literal hearing god bow down, bitch. I can hear the smallest of sounds and such, but for some goddamn reason I can’t understand how loud I’m being.

- Extestensial nihilism and just being cool about it. Like, dude, idk if there’s a god out there? I’d like to think there’s some sort of Devine power and we have a purpose but idk, we probably don’t have a purpose. I mean, we’ll be forgotten after we die anyway unless we’re Tom Holland. And love probably doesn’t exist either and it’s only stigmatized by movies and books and media and we’re all gonna get married and be miserable for ever and such. But like does it really even matter? In the end we’re all alone so go off I guess.

- Being really sensitive to smell. Certain smells drive me through the roof. For example, I have an extreme fish allergy and even smelling the slightest hint a salmon can give me a migraine so intense I think I’m dying. Or essential oils. Ughh I hate those. They send me through the roof.

- Being able to remember something you heard in a YouTube video you watched back when you were nine but not being able to remember when you birthday is some days because it really be like that.

- Being really good with little kids. Idk if everyone is like this but I am very childish myself and little kids love me. I have at least 3 little boys in 1st - 3rd grade who think I’m their girlfriend and 8 little girls in kindergarten - 5th grade who think I’m their big sister, it’s really sweet.

- Always apologizing is a big thing for me. When I was a child I used to get in trouble for saying sorry when I did anything and that carried to teen hood. Last year at my dance class my teacher noticed this and tried to help me break my habit god bless you Christine.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk bois. ADHD sucks but I know you can do it👌🏻

[toransuretaa]

Diabolik Lovers Zero Floor Vol. 1 Drama CD English Translation [Progress 2/6]

Track 1 - Chased away by a thunder storm

*Thunder strikes as running footsteps splatter on the ground*

Ayato: Geez, what a bad timing. To suddenly pour down like this, what a bad joke.

Ayato: Hey, are you alright?

*you nod*

Ayato: If that’s the case, we’re gonna continue running like this.

Ayato: Geez, there doesn’t seem to be any place around here were we could rest. At least make a resting place in the middle of the forest, people.

Ayato: Oh! Let’s take shelter from the rain there. There’s some kind of building at the front right?

*you ask whos house it is*

Ayato: How would I know? It doesn’t matter who’s house it is. Let’s go inside.

*the creaking door closes as your steps echo through the hall*

Ayato: Eeh, I got wet. You too look completely drenched. You can see through your clothes you know.

*you hide yourself in embarasment*

Ayato: Idiot, it was lie. Besides, there’s no reason to hide anything there.

*you pout*

Ayato: Hahaha, dont sulk over it. Though, you’re really gonna catch a cold like that. You need to dry your body.

Ayato: Hey! If someone’s there come out!

Ayato: No answer, and no presence huh. Does no one live here?

*he looks around*

Ayato: Hm? Hey look. Is that a map?

*you walk towards it and Ayato starts to read it out loud*

Ayato: Including the basement, there’s a total of 13 exhibition rooms. Paintings and sculptures.

Ayato: Oh, I was wondering why it’s so big, but this is a museum huh. No wonder no one is here. It probably closed down a long time ago. It’s a wonder that this hidden run-down building hasn’t collapsed yet. Oh well, I guess it’s perfect for sheltering from the rain. And it’s also good for some time killing. Let’s stay here until it stops raining.

*you tell him you guys should return to the castle*

Ayato: Huh? You’re gonna object me even though you’re chichinashi? We’re not returning to the castle. It’s boring there, and even if we sneak out to stroll around no one’s gonna complain. Besides, just because my dad called us, it’s a homecoming with all the siblings you know. Am I a little kid to him? I‘m done with it.

*he takes a step as he continues*

Ayato: Instead, let’s explore inside. There seems to be something interesting, don’t you think? What’s more, we need to do something about your lame appearance. We should be able to find an alternative to a towel or something hanging around somwhere. Even if it’ll probably be covered in dust.

*you tell him off for calling you lame*

Ayato: Hah? Ayato-sama is looking out for you. Stop complaining. It’ll be bad if your body get’s cold. See, your hand is colder than normal. We need to do something to warm you up.

Ayato: Hm? Heh. Ah, so it’s like that. Then you gotta say it clearly...

*he bends over and whispers in your ear*

Ayato: like: “I want to get hot by getting my blood sucked.”

Ayato: I’m fine with that too, since it’ll warm your body up.

*kisses*

Ayato: You got hotter with only this. Hehe. You’re so obvious. I got thirsty from the running, so if you really ask for it, I’ll suck for you.

*you struggle*

Ayato: You know, this is the part where you should honestly hold out your neck. To reject wihout reservation, haven’t you become arrogant since you’ve become mine?

*you continue struggling*

Ayato: Tch. Well, I’ll only let it this slide this once. So, let’s go explore.

*a heavy door opens as you two walk inside*

Ayato: There is a huge number of them. What are these paintings with a person on them called again?

*you answer*

Ayato: Yes. Yes that’s it. Portraits. Wherever I look, there’re only faces. They did a good job at collecting all these huh. Look. They even got that big one hanging. With this number of paintings, you’ll really start to think something is off. What a nasty hobby.

*you grab his sleeve*

Ayato: What? By any chance, are you scared? Ehehe. I feel like I’ll get to see something interesting if I left you alone here. (T/N: idk gizari?)

Ayato: Hey, what would you do if the paintings started to move?

*you tell him not to joke around like that*

Ayato: It’s not a joke! Look behind you, isn’t that man looking at us?

*a thunderstrike catches you off guard, and you desperately cling to Ayato*

Ayato: Whoa, what are you doing, hugging me like that? Of course it’s a lie.

*you step away*

Ayato: Ahaha. You look really dumb. Falling for this kind of thing, how lame.

*you try to hit him*

Ayato: Whoa, if you want to get back at me, see if you can catch me. Well, I suppose that’s impossible for the stupid chichinashi.

*a weird painting catches your eye*

Ayato: Huh? What’s wrong? You’re making a weird face.

*you point towards it, and Ayato goes to take a closer look*

Ayato: Huh? What is this? Doesn’t this portrait... kinda look like me?

*you nod*

Ayato: You think so too?

*he steps next to it*

Ayato: When I line up like this, it looks pretty similar right?

Ayato: But, who is it that drew me without my permission? And they even hung it up in this run-down museum. Right? Don’t you think it’s mean, chichinashi?

*suddenly, you see the painting move*

Ayato: Hm? What’s wrong?

*you point at the painting and tell him it moved*

Ayato: Idiot. What are you saying? There’s no way a painting could move. Are you still taking that joke from earlier serious?

*it moves again and you tell ayato to look*

Ayato: Like I’m saying, there’s no way that something like that—

*he looks back at the painting*

Ayato: ?!

Ayato’s voice: Haha. So you finally noticed huh.

*the paint comes out of the canvas*

Ayato’s voice: Geez, it was so boring inside the canvas.

Ayato: ... It came out...

Ayato 2: What are you making that stupid face for? Coming out or doing whatever, that’s for me to decide.

Ayato: As if! There’s no way a painting can move or come out. And even taking on the same appearance as me. You make me feel super weird.

Ayato 2: Well sorry about that. But what can I do about it. I’m you’re portrait after all.

Ayato: It’s even able to talk normally... What’s going on here?

*you ask him what’s happening*

Ayato: Even if you ask me, I have no clue. Let me tell you, it’s not like I’ve done anything okay? That thing just started moving on its own accord.

*Ayato faces his copy again*

Ayato: I mean, if you’re a painting then stay in your painting! It’s a headache if you come out.

Ayato 2: You’re the one who’s a headache. Entering without even paying the entrance fee.

Ayato: Entrance fee? Heh. There’s nothing in this shabby museum to pay for. There’re only faces wherever you look, there’s nothing interesting at all.

*you call out to him*

Ayato: What? It’s the truth! It’s just looking at damn boring faces, what’s there to enjoy about?

Ayato 2: Tch. What a vexing bastard. Don’t enter if you don’t even undestand art. Well, I guess it can’t be helped if you’re already inside. But, I can’t just let you go back for free. Since you’ve already stepped inside, you’ll have to pay the right price for it. Which is yourself.

Ayato: What?

Ayato 2: So, I’m saying, I’m taking your lives as the entrance fee. Get eaten by this museum.

Ayato: What?

Ayato 2: You’re arrogant so you look distasteful, but that woman looks super delicious.

Ayato: Tch. So you’re a man-eating painting. I don’t know what kind of moster you are, but I know now that you’re a up to no good.

Ayato: Chichinashi. We’re getting out immediately.

Ayato 2: As if I’d let you escape!

*the door through which you came closes shut*

Ayato: ?! The exit!

Ayato 2: You’re for later. Firstly...

*teleports to you*

Ayato 2: I’ll start with this woman.

Ayato 2: Now, you’ll be coming with me.

Ayato: ?! Hold up you bastard!

Ayato 2: As if I’d wait, idiot.

*a door creaks open and the fake ayato pulls you through as he talks to you*

Ayato 2: You too don’t shout. Let’s enjoy ourselves to the fullest. Just the two of us.

T/N: “Koko ni omae wo gizari ni shitara, omoshiroi mon ga mirare sou dana.” I can’t figure out what gizari means. Maybe I’m mishearing it. By all means tell me if you know.

————————————————————

Track 2 - Aggressive fangs pierce

*Thunder and running footsteps echo through the hallway*

Ayato: Shit. No matter what door I open, they’re all similar floors. No matter where I look, portraits, portraits. Are they ridiculing me?

Ayato: That sadistic bastard, where did he go? Kidnapping her like that, I’ll never forgive him!

*he punches a portrait that then falls on the ground*

Ayato: If something happens to her I will not show any mercy!

——————

*a punch is heard somewhere else*

Ayato 2: Tch. That bastard, going wild inside. What’s he doing to the valuable exhibitions?

*you struggle*

Ayato 2: You too, till when are you gonna struggle. Do you think you can get away from me?

*you struggle*

Ayato 2: Shut up, you lowly prey.

*you tell him you’re not prey*

Ayato 2: Heh. If you’re not prey then what is this smell? The moment you came in here, there was a strong strange smell spreading around. A very delicious and sweet smell. It’s like asking to please eat me. Now I’m closer I can really tell. The flowing blood under this thin skin, it's special isn't it? I'm looking forward to see what it tastes like.

*you beg him not to take your blood*

Ayato 2: What? My objective isn't just blood. I told you right? I'm taking your life as entrance fee. I'm gonna eat your whole body, without leaving behind the meat and bones.

*you struggle*

Ayato 2: He~ You're making a nice expression. The face of despair, I can't get enough of it. I planned to eat you immediately, but I changed my mind. It's boring to just finish my meal quickly, so let's enjoy this a little.

*he steps closer*

Ayato 2: As you wish, I'll suck your blood.

*you protest*

Ayato 2: It's like a little taste testing before eating. Feel honoured, you'll be able to feel ore-sama's fangs.

*you struggle to get away*

Ayato 2: Is that supposed to be a protest? It only seems to me that you're looking forward to it. Sure, struggle as much as you like. But...

*he steps closer to close the gap again*

Ayato 2: If I’ll be rough with my fangs, it won’t be my problem.

*he bites and sucks your blood*

Ayato 2: What is this? It’s super delicious. You, you’re not some ordinary human, are you? I won’t let you go until I’ve sucked you dry.

*you struggle*

Ayato 2: Tch. You’re still gonna resist? Even though you’re never gonna win from me.

*he pins you down*

Ayato 2: See, try to run away now. If you can do that while being pinned down that is.

*you try to get out of his grip*

Ayato 2: Hehe. What are you wriggling around for? Are you inviting me?

*he whispers into your left ear*

Ayato 2: Now you understand, right? You can’t run away. You have no choice but to be devoured by me.

Ayato 2: ?! The smell changed? Perhaps, are you feeling good by being driven into a corner? Ha. To feel this, are you a masochist? So you’ve been trained by that vampire. Well, that’s what I thought first, but it’s probably always been a trait of yours. See? Just by licking your throat...

*he licks you*

Ayato 2: Hehe. You’re too sensitive. Interesting. What will happen if I touch other places?

*you tell him to stop*

Ayato 2: Don’t tell me to stop. I’m telling you I will play with you. Stay still.

Ayato 2: I get it. I just have to immobilise you. Hey, face this way.

*he kisses you*

Ayato 2: Ah. Well, I’m sorry that my kiss tastes like paint. I’m a portrait after all. Even so, I’m not an ordinary paint. The accumulation of magic inside the canvas, my body is made out if magic. A part of that flowed into you. Do you know what will happen?

*you start to lose control of you body*

Ayato 2: Ah, so it’s already spread throughout your body. You’re restraint now and can’t move right? With my power, I’ve gotten control of your body from the inside. You like this kind of stuff right? I’ll make it so your mouth can move so tell me: “Getting the freedom of my body stolen by force makes me happy”.

*you refuse and stay silent*

Ayato 2: Tch. What are you keeping silent for? Do you even understand the situation you’re in? Because I didn’t receive a proper entrance fee, you’re now exposing your neck, you know. Ah. I guess your neck isn’t enough. Show me the other easy places to bite.

*he moves some of your clothes out of the way*

Ayato 2: A nice voice finally came out. But it only has an opposite effect. Prey that scream only makes me want to take my time to torture them more. See? You look great.

*he comes closer*

Ayato 2: While you act like you dislike it, the sweet smell has grown stronger. It seems intoxicating. Now, where shall I sink my fangs in? Your lower side or so may be nice. If I penetrate you really deeply it’ll be very painful. I won’t show mercy to some prey.

*he kisses your skin*

Ayato 2: Hehe. What are you getting scared for? Did you think you would suddenly get bitten? As if I’d do something so wasteful. Such an inviting person is really rare, so I’ll take my time to dote on you.

*you glare at him*

Ayato 2: Even if you glare at me like that, I’m telling you it’s useless. Your whole body has become sensitive right? Just by tracing your arm like this, you start to shiver. As you start to get scared, your expression has become nice. What’s more, despite being scared, you’re feeling it. What a woman. You’ve become impatient by now right? Try saying: “Please suck my blood”.

*you refuse*

Ayato 2: What a conceited one. It seems like you don’t understand your place as a prey. If you want get treated meanly that badly, I’ll be stricter. I’ll let you fully enjoy the taste of my fangs.

*he bites you and sucks your blood*

Ayato 2: Drinking blood like this is good too huh. Let’s see how much you’ll cry out.

*he bites you again as you struggle*

Ayato 2: That’s right. Be more afraid. Entertain me. When I’m bored with playing with you I’ll eat your whole body.

*a loud bang went through the room as glass shattered to the floor*

Ayato: *panting heavily* Finally... found you! You sadistic bastard!

*Ayato throws a big piece of glass at the fake Ayato*

Ayato 2: Argh!

*Ayato lunges forward to attack the paint Ayato and they start to fight*

Ayato 2: You bastard, how dare you do that! You’ve destroyed the exhibition!

Ayato: Heh. The one who left it randomly in the corridor is at fault.

*Ayato turns to you*

Ayato: Chichinashi, you’re alive right?

*you were barely able to give a response*

Ayato: Geez, don’t give me trouble like that. Hurry up and wake up.

*you can’t move*

Ayato: Shit. Then stay put.

*he picks you up*

Ayato: I’m gonna carry you like this and run!

*Ayato runs away with you*

Ayato 2: That bastard, like I’d let you escape!

*the fake Ayato teleports*

[stimmyvillainarchive]

hey actually I know I’ve been joking around but I’mma. explain a few things cause I’ve been internally avoiding this topic for awhile cause I feel like I’m being an attention seeker if I go into detail about things. But uh friends are starting to notice lately I’ll explain. I’ll put it under the cut for anyone who doesn’t wanna read my icky stuff. Also y’all started sending in fun/chill asks while I was in the middle of writing this so sorry if it seems like it’s come out of left field.

(tw for religion/christianity/religious abuse and LGBT+phobia/transphobia/panphobia)

First I wanna say I’m sorry for my eratic, often non-stim related activity on this blog. I’ve mentioned being depressed but I haven’t really gone into detail. Some of y’all know the situation with my dad leaving and me having to work to pay for the bills. Good news is that shit has been for the most part resolved. my dad’s actually back and we patched up our relationship. I actually talk to him and communicate with him and him and my mom have worked things out. Which is nice cause now we’re all working and we’re all getting along better. So that’s nice.

But uh, during this time I started going to a church my mom and grandma attend. And I was kinda. a big deal there. I don’t wanna get into specifics but basically a lot of people know me now for it. And they made me feel special and good about myself. This part I know I talked about here before but uh. I wanted to be baptized on easter. And the guy who was going to do my baptism basically told me that either I break up with boo and go through what is essentially THEIR version of conversion therapy or he won’t do the baptism. that may not sound like anything to you but that. that shit fucked me up. really bad. I really trusted the people there and I opened up in a way I hadn’t before and now I just feel. like I’m disgusting when I’m openly queer or don’t conform to cis standards. Which was an issue I had worked out and now I’m going through all over again. I can talk about it some days but then others I feel like I gotta. shut up about it. It’s easier to talk about it online but irl it’s been much harder. And unfortunately the people at the church know where I work so on top of working a job I absolutely hate with a manager that DOES NOT like me, I’m constantly paranoid that someone’s going to walk in and recognize me (it’s already happened, but I’m scared to death someone like the person who was going to do my baptism will show up. I can’t tell you how fucking scary it is when the guy who would only speak to you privately and in a secluded area that you need to give up your gay in order to truly be a Christian knows where you work and where you live.) and honestly, I’m just plagued with neverending anxiety at this point. And it’s affected how I just. function. I don’t eat much anymore and I rarely get more than an average of 2-3 hours of sleep. I just realized today that for the past two days I’d eaten nothing but a hot pocket and a slim jim. Most of the time my anxiety makes me so sick to my stomach that eating feels impossible so I just. don’t. As for sleep I don’t really sleep because I’ve had constant and repeated nightmares so every time I hit rem I’m not in for long before I’m jolted awake. Last night was the first I’d actually slept for an appropriate time in months.

I’m dealing with a lot of shit rn, a lot of it is just. self loathing. So I’ve lost enjoyment in doing things that makes me happy cause I just don’t feel I deserve to be happy. Saying it out loud should make me. idk. know how to deal with it but it doesn’t. There’s been more than just the shit with the church and I’ve realized I’m kinda an idiot! and no one wants to deal with me because I’m too depressed and because I don’t act allistic. And before you throw in your “I like you!” asks 1. I’m not looking for sympathy and please don’t take this as a pity party, I’m just trying to explain things and 2. I don’t need people to lie for me or exaggerate things for me. Y’all don’t know what I’m like irl. I don’t follow social situations well, I mess up a lot, I’m too clumsy, I’m too much of a downer, I don’t wanna do anything anymore. It’s fine, I wasn’t cut out for this shit and I wouldn’t wanna deal with me either. No one owes me their time, affection, whatever. I’m not entitled to anyone’s praise. So, it’s cool. I’m just coming to grips with how much I really don’t like myself.

And uh. After that experience with the church I lost my faith. I no longer consider myself a christian and losing my belief in the one thing I felt I could always trust has further ruined me. Every christian community I’ve tried to participate in has rejected me for who I am. And I’ve just come to realize I don’t believe in the same stuff that Christianity teaches. I won’t go into super big details about my beliefs but yeah. These people would consider me a godless heathen at this point. And now I feel irrational anger or want to cry at christianity/topics about it. Which when you live in a Christian household with gospel music constantly playing and reminders about how much this god wants you to die for being a nasty faggot well, that shit is hard to deal with.

So yeah. I know right after this I’m gonna act more chill and more like my “who gives a fuck” self or. whoever the fuck he is. But people have noticed I don’t talk much anymore and that I haven’t been very active here. And I’m sorry about how inactive the blog’s been lately. Idk if this’ll forever be on a hiatus, I’d like to do more here again. But I don’t do anything anymore. The most I’ve done is draw something for elly and that’s about it. Cause now every time I try to make something I enjoy all I can think about is how stupid it is and how stupid I am for wanting to enjoy it and then I end up doing nothing all day or I go to work and then come back and do nothing. so in the meantime I’m sorry if all I do is bitch or make stupid posts, I’m trying to communicate more before I eventually lose the will to try. and I’m sorry if this post makes things awkward because I’m about to answer more positive asks and act okay right after I post this, but I’ve been avoiding being honest about this for awhile and my anxiety got so bad today that the only thing that’s alleviated it has been writing this. So, I’m sorry to the people who I made worry or that it seems I’ve ignored. I’m not trying to ignore anyone, but I honestly can’t muster the energy to just simply interact with people lately. I don’t think I’ll be abandoning this blog but idk if I’m ready to manage it properly like I used to. idk when I’ll BE ready but I’m sorry to those who’ve had to deal with my bullshit and lack of stims lately. 

TL;DR: I’m in a deep depression because the church I attended/was passionate about/was a big deal in rejected me for being queer, I’m in a constant state of anxiety and/or despair, I no longer enjoy doing anything, I hate myself, I work a job I hate, and I’m going to go back to acting like shit’s okay but people were suspecting something was wrong and they’re starting to worry so here’s my explanation.